#destiel crack fic

[ididit-allofit-foryou]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester (mentioned), Charlie Bradbury (mentioned) Additional Tags: destiel crack, Crack, Fluff and Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Miscommunication, Established Relationship, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, References to Canon, Canon-to a point Summary:

Miscommunication? My *my* Destiel? It's more likely than you think!

Is this crack? Yes. Did I still write it as seriously as my literal published novel? Also yes. Enjoy!

[mattzerella-sticks]

you're in the car with a beautiful boy...

Dean and Castiel share an opinion about Batman.

            Sure, he might know all there is about canon, lore and your favorite superheroes’ histories – even more than you do – but he still hasn’t held a comic book in his hands. He’s never thumbed through one, flipping page after page, its images blurring together because the dialogue was like speeding down an empty highway at night. He hadn’t rolled one up and stuffed it in his jacket to sneak past the cashier without paying. He doesn’t know how easy it was to rip a panel out and stuff it in your backpack, to carry with you always or at least until your father makes you leave everything behind in the last motel you were staying in and you’re forced to get all new old things to abandon some other time. He missed out.

            One day you invite him to a comics store. You curate a collection of graphic novels for him with your favorite heroes from what’s on the shelves, and let him choose a few for himself, too, even if you don’t recognize the titles. You recognize his smile because it reminds you how it felt to be a high school sophomore, ignoring your science teacher’s warnings, sticking your scalpel into the lab’s electrical outlet and that’s what matters. Then you walk to the register and pay for your comics because you aren’t twelve, you aren’t worried about how you’ll get by the next few days on the meager allowance your dad left, because fake credit cards can go very, very far. The cashier doesn’t hassle you one bit.

            Next thing you know you and he are together in your car and driving back to your motel. You dropped your purchases in his lap and told him to start reading. He listens.

            You shouldn’t care what he chooses first. He reads Batman. You repeat to yourself that you shouldn’t care what he chooses first and the lie dissolves in your mouth like a wafer so you’re chomping, chewing, swallowing air all while he’s reading Batman.

            The motel was close by, and you arrive there in minutes. You park but don’t get out. He’s reading Batman and you don’t want to interrupt him.

            He’s reading Batman and there’s a million things you want to say, a million stars you want to pluck from the sky and give him except their touch burns and you’re too weak. He’s reading Batman and your fingers twitch as they trace the creases of his expression into your knee. He’s reading Batman and it’s just the two of you here, in your car, with a bunch of stuff that you can’t take with you.

            He folds the book cover over and looks at you. I’m enjoying this Dean, he says.

            You nod and chuckle and tell him how you knew he would.

            He nods, too, and as if he can read your mind he taps at the cover where Batman’s face was and says, I want to get Bruce Wayne pregnant.

            Your first instinct is to blush, to hide, to get out of the car and forget he ever said it but that’s wrong. Instead, you listen to your second instinct. It has you grinning and placing your hand on his, on Batman’s face, and confessing that you feel the same.

            You laugh and you feel like a kid again, only better, because you aren’t alone. You’re in your car with a beautiful boy and you both want to say I love you. But you can’t. So, you say I want to get Bruce Wayne pregnant and that’s okay, that can be enough for now.

[strawlessandbraless]

Godstiel but he was crazy horny and obsessed with Dean. Going around preaching the good word of Dean and reading from the Winchester Gospel (supernatural books). He’d put Dean Winchester on all the stained glass windows and replace Jesus on the Crucifix with Dean on the Rack.

[morallygreyintrovert]

I got 99 tabs open and they’re all Ao3

For those of you who look too close and see I actually only have 7 tabs open, please refer to the gif below.

[damienn]

Yall PLEASE give me destiel fic recommendations. I've read most the big ones like 91 whiskey, four letter word for intercourse ect. I don't do mpreg or omegaverse stuff, freaks me out to much lmao. Anyways I'm also not exclusively looking for smvt, I love angsty shit and even just fluffy comfort. Feel free to self promo, post fics you love, and use this post as a rec spot im just desperate for something to read lol

Ps. I also love Sabriel (preferably not bottom Sam if it's gonna be smvt) and anything involving Benny. Benny is my bitch, I love Benny.

[rezal-art]

It is finally the first day of the @crack-in-the-chassis postings! I am delighted to have collaborated with @friendofcarlotta on her hilarious Simpsons AU. Read it here:

Corner House of Horror

Get ready for a gallery of characters all acting silly, and of course an evil plot only the Winchesters can stop!

When I read friendofcarlotta's fic, it was instantly obvious I had to try Matt Groening's style. As the title of the fic is inspired by the Simpsons Halloween Specials, "Treehouse of Horror", I tried my best to pay tribute to the promo posters they did for those episodes. The second art piece I did was just stuck in my mind, and impossible to resist making!

Thank you friendofcarlotta for being such an enthusiastic partner <3

[whipitgod]

Totally Normal, Non Romantic Bro Moment

Dean x Castiel

oneshot - wc: 2k

summary: Dean is the only one who doesn’t realize he’s dating Cas

warnings: blatantly and boldly ignoring canon, a little crack-ish as per usual, some light swearing and little bit of spice (they kiss but that’s it)

a/n: Thank you for all the support on the last few oneshots!! this is the first time i’ve ever written for destiel or supernatural so it might be a bit ooc! If you like this remember to leave a like/reblog! maybe even follow me :D! Happy reading!!

!!!!REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

“Sammy!” The sound of his brother calling his name makes Sam sit up quickly, having dozed off whilst trying to finish a book he had started ages ago but could never manage to find the time to complete. He pushes himself off his bed with the intent to meet the older Winchester in the kitchen where he heard him yelling from. Before he even has a chance to reach for the door handle the door flies open, Dean entering the room with a startling amount of aggression.

Sam puffs out an irritated breath at the man's behavior, “Of course you can come in-” he pauses slightly taking in the flustered nature of the hunter now pacing back in forth and grumbling quietly to himself; a look of concern crosses Sam’s face, mouth turning down slightly, “Are you alright, did something happen?”

Dean’s head snaps towards him then, looking at him for the first time since he had burst into the room, “Yeah, i’m fine man,” he gets a look on his face like he tasted something bitter before rushing out an agitated, “no actually i’m not fine.” Sam tilts his head slightly at this urging Dean to continue with a wave of his hand; Sam notes that the man has yet to stop pacing.

“Bobby said someth’n weird earlier that's got me thinking,” Dean hesitates for a moment almost like he’s second guessing even bringing it up, “he uh,” another slight pause, brows furrowing, “he seems to think i’m dating Cas.” he takes a deep breath after he says this, a common action when he gets too worked up over something.

The younger Winchesters' brows crease in confusion at this, Dean taking this as a sign that his brother finds the notion absurd lets out a relieved breath. His relief is only short lived, Sam shaking his head slightly before questioning, “Is that it?” Dean's expression hardens, agitation returning and causing his shoulders to tense.

“The hell do you mean ‘is that it’, this is a big deal!”

Sam lets out a small laugh at his brother's frustration, “Was he not accepting?”

The anger leaves Deans features, a look of confusion taking it’s place, “The fuck does that mean?”

“Was he not accepting of your relationship with cas?” Sam now wears a look of confusion mirroring Dean’s. The older man stops pacing at this question, brows furrowing even further than Sam thought possible.

“What relationship?” The anger gone from Dean’s voice, tone now mired in confusion.

Sam looks at his brother like he’s lost his mind, “The relationship you have with Cas,” he searches Dean’s face for any sign that the man is joking, not finding any he pushes on, “You guys have been dating for months.”

Dean seems to short circuit at this, blinking several times before letting out a disbelieving scoff, “I am not dating Cas,” a nervous laugh escapes him, “That’s insane, I knew you were crazy but not that crazy.”

Sam stares blankly at him and Dean rushes to continue, “I mean the idea of Cas and I dating is laughable,” another nervous laugh accompanied by a growing redness in his face, “Why would you even think that?”

Sam’s eyebrows shoot up in disbelief at the question, a sharp bark of laughter leaving him before he can stop it. He tries again to find any sign that his brother is joking but the man's expression is steely, jaw clenched in frustration, “Oh wow, you’re serious.” At this Dean lets out an angry huff opening his mouth to start speaking before closing it again, teeth grinding together.

“For starters, you guys act like an old married couple all the time,” Dean opens his mouth to disagree but Sam cuts him off, “you guys also frequently gaze into each other's eyes for extended periods of time.”

“We do not!”

“Just last week you guys had a whispered discussion before staring into each other's eyes for five minutes,” Dean’s expression turns contemplative, “five minutes might not be accurate actually,” Sam thinks for a moment, “It was probably longer, I didn't stand around to time it.”

Dean releases an irritated noise before rushing to defend himself, “We were having a moment!” Sam’s expression turns amused at the sentence and Dean jumps to amend it, “A bro moment! A totally normal, non romantic bro moment!”

Sam quirks a brow at this, a teasing smile threatening to overcome his features. Dean lets out another frustrated sound, “It’s a normal dude thing, it’s what pals do!” Sam kind of wants to let Dean continue floundering, if only to see how many synonyms he can find for the word ‘bro’; he decides against it, deciding to put Dean out of his misery.

With a gentle sigh the younger man pushes himself up so he’s sitting fully upright, “Bobby and I aren't the only ones who think you guys are together,” He thinks for a moment, “Actually, I'm pretty sure you are the only one that doesn't think you guys are dating.”

Dean is quiet at this causing him to continue, “I don't know man, it's something you should think about,” Sam stands and walks over to the door with the intent to find something for dinner, “maybe you should talk to cas about this.'' With that he pulls the door open not waiting for the other man to respond, and without sparing another glance in Dean’s direction he walks down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Dean stands motionless for a few minutes before managing to snap himself out of the daze the conversation had left him in. Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, he makes the short trek to his own bedroom; Closing the door behind him and letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, he lets his mind wander to memories of all of the interactions he and Cas had had recently.

Sure they were close, their relationship probably closer than most other mens, but that didn't mean they were together! Sure they had kissed a few times when they were both a little too drunk but that didn't mean anything! It was normal to kiss your bro when you had a few too many. This line of thinking does nothing to quell the internal turmoil he was feeling; his mind now stuck on memories of the kisses they had shared on rare occasions that were never discussed once they were sober.

Dean huffs a bitter laugh, “I don't even like men.” The phrase feels wrong as it leaves his mouth. He had never really given much thought to whether or not he liked men, but now that he was thinking about it he’s met with a startling realization, “Oh god, do i?”

He thinks back to all of the men that he had ever found attractive, the ones he was a bit too fascinated by; having written off the fascination as a friendly interest at the time, he finds himself realizing that some of the interest really wasn't all that friendly.

His mind wanders to cas, remembering all of the things they had done together that had, at the time, seemed innocent and friendly; now that he’s looking back on them they seem to be a little bit too intimate to be friendly. There was also that one dream he had a few weeks back that had made being around cas very awkward for a few days, the memory of the dream alone making his face heat up. He loses track of the amount of time he stays lost in thought, his mind spinning in circles as he thinks about the dynamic he has with the angel.

He reaches a conclusion that makes him suck in a sharp breath, “Oh god, i'm in love with cas.” It comes out as a disbelieving whisper. He doesn't know what to do with realization but now that he’s said it outloud it feels like the most obvious thing in the world.

A Few Days Earlier

Dean can’t help but watch Cas's side profile as the man takes another swig from the almost empty bottle of whiskey; Dean had tapped out before the bottle had even been opened, the angel needing way more alcohol than Dean could stomach to even get a buzz. The hunter isn’t quite sure how many bottles of assorted liquor cas had drunk at this point but it was clear the man was feeling the effects of them, his eyes a little droopy as if he was struggling to see clearly. Dean wasn’t in much better shape, his eyes struggling to focus as he watched the angel’s Adam's apple bob as he drank. Without realizing that he was even moving he reached up and grabbed the bottle from Cas's hands, taking a quick drink of it before setting it down in front of them.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Dean's tone is light when he says this, almost teasing. Cas meets his eyes with a dazed smile and Dean’s eyes get stuck on the curve of his lips.

He wants to kiss him. The thought doesn't scare him like he thinks it should, he supposes it wouldn't be the first drunken kiss the pair had shared; alcohol acting as a cover for the real emotions at play that Dean really didn't want to deal with.

Before he can think better of it he leans in, cas letting out a surprised noise as their lips meet before melting into the kiss. The thought that they shouldn’t be doing this crosses Dean's mind but he stamps it down quickly when he feels cas reach up and tangle his fingers in his hair. They stay like that until dean pulls away slightly to suck in a few panting breaths, their foreheads stay touching as they stare into each other's eyes. Dean remembers, bitterly, that tomorrow this would become another one of the little moments that he's too afraid to discuss. With that floating around his head he leans back in with a little bit more force than necessary, their teeth clacking together as their mouths meet.

Present Day

He blinks away the memory, shaking his head slightly and digging in his pocket for his phone, he finds cas’s contact and hesitates for a moment before hitting the call button. The sound of the phone ringing does nothing to calm the anxiety he’s feeling but before he can second guess himself cas picks up.

Cas answers the phone with a soft, “Hello?” and dean feels his heart in his throat.

“I think I'm in love with you.” He had not meant to blurt it out like that, and he curses quietly to himself as he waits for Cas's response.

“I mean it would be kind of weird if you weren’t given that we’re dating.”

Dean pauses at this, a flood of emotions hitting him and causing him to let out a sound reminiscent of a gasp, “What?”

“We’re dating,” there's a pause from cas and the rustle of papers being moved, dean briefly wonders what he’s doing before he realizes what the man had said. Dean's mouth opens and shuts a few times as he struggles to find the appropriate words.

Cas continues speaking, seemingly oblivious to the internal struggle that Dean is having, “We had a date a few days ago,” more rustling, “we got pizza and then got drunk and made out.”

Dean is at a loss for words, he lets out a choked sound before starting to laugh, the kind of laugh that makes your sides hurt. It takes him a minute to regain his composure, wiping a tear that had escaped during the laughing fit he takes a deep breath before responding, “Yeah i guess we did.”

“Are you feeling alright?” The question sounds so sincere it almost causes Dean to spiral into laughter again but he manages to hold it in.

The hunter pauses for a moment thinking about the question, “Yeah,” he’s smiling so hard his cheeks are starting to hurt, “i’m great.”

[cyberhalfling]

You had me at worm mustache. It was so much fun catching entropic_saudade's fic for Crack in the Chassis! Please enjoy the cracky goodness.

LINK TO FIC

[crackheadcastiel]

Deans dick grows every time he tells a lie like Pinocchio and when cas finally sees it it unrolls out of his pants like a fruit by the foot

[doctorprofessorsong]

I had the absolute absolute joy of working with @friendofcarlotta for the @crack-in-the-chassis bang. I couldn't be happier about my little crochet Cas having adventures in Becky Rosen's home.

I ended up taking pictures of several of my favorite scenes, which you can see below.

Read the fic here!

Thank you to the mods for letting me submit non-traditional art. This was so fun.

Credit for the Cas pattern I used here.

Dalek here

And a bonus Cas and Dean (Dean is still a WIP for my kid)

Dean pattern here.

[entropic-saudade]

Would You Still Love Me If I Was a Worm?

Author: entropic_saudade

Artist: Cyber Halfling

Link to Fic | Link to Art

Rating: T

Tags: AU, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Worms, 5+1 Things

Summary:

Pissed that Dean and Cas still haven’t fixed everything between them after everything they’ve been through, Rowena casts a spell.

Dean finds the answer to the age-old question, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?” the hard way.

AKA 5 times Dean still doesn’t get it, and one time he does.

For @crack-in-the-chassis, I had so much fun getting to play around with this and getting to see @squeakyhalfling's amazing art that brought it to life! Thank you so much for catching my pitch, it was great working with you. Also Heidi Klum Worm Costume!Dean is EVERYTHING.

[naughtystiel]

Dean stared at the man in front of him who was waving his hands around, yelling some gibberish that he couldn’t understand. Clearly, the stranger was annoyed, no, that was an understatement. He was fuming, kicking a tyre of a car that was parked near Dean’s Chevy Impala. As he unlocked the door to his Baby, he felt a familiar breeze and a whooshing sound behind him.

“Heya, Cas.” he said without turning back, but instead of getting in the car, he rested his arms on the roof and drummed his fingers.

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel greeted and tilted his head, following Dean’s gaze that was focused on the man in front of them.

“Yanno, not that it’s any of my business, but I kinda wish I knew what he was saying.”

Castiel stepped closer to him and Dean could feel the press of his body against his own. Almost as if he tried to mirror Dean, he leaned his elbows on the roof, resting his chin on his palm. “You could have just asked, Dean.”

READ THE REST HERE

[strawlessandbraless]

Omg WING kink not wink kink

Click here for Part 2 of this poll

Reblog to stray further from gods light

[morallygreyintrovert]

writing my spn Destiel fix-it fanfic, I constantly have multiple tabs open for random research purposes, one of them being ‘’description of a rotten corpse”.

The life of a fanfic writer be like✨so glamorous ✨

[we-re-all-stories-in-the-end]

I’m working on a fic that is literally driving me insane.

Like, I have a job, and it’s not writing modern Persuasion AU fiction about Cas and Dean fucking Winchester