#deserves in quotes bc he's an ass about it

[sephrotting]

Now that i read this a second time. Omg yea.

Mention of self harm

I realized, it's kind of fucked up that this is the most popular headcanon. He's essentially self harming whenever he fails to achieve his goal. He thinks he deserves pain and suffering because he isnt able to save his dying family. And we're over here like “oh yea its because he gets off on that”

Like, that's actually kinda fucked up of us.

For CQ it may have been like. A disposable joke (hopefully). But we made it a thing.

Oh wow.

And with Reaper. I knew he wasn’t actually a sadist bc ive read the comic from start to finish.

For me the sadist joke was also like. A one time thing for shits and giggles and not actually serious. I never thought it to be like, actual writing. Just jokes.

From what i remember, he is sometimes a smart ass like all sanses are. But for the most part, he isnt all that mean to anyone???? More like people are mean to him. And by people I mean mainly Undyne (FUCK YOU Undyne you’re my least favorite god out of them all) and Life (and understandably. Her kids are dead).

And don’t quote me on this. Im paraphrasing it how i remember it. But he hated Life because he thought “you give humans life only for humans to suffer during their life. To experience sadness and grief and disappointment. How is that considered kind?”

Also. One more thing thats more a sidenote:

In Reapertale there is this magical room with this magical mirror. Just imagine a room with a mirror in it and only Gaster (the god of magic) has access to it. Gaster says that the mirror holds all information there is in this universe and that only people with no bad intentions can enter this room. Like, the mirror can sense if you have bad intentions. And Reaper is able to enter the room.

So i think that adds to the argument that Reaper is a good person in general.

And now that i think about it.

I think Reaper would pity Geno. As much as he can that is. He needs to be desensitized for his job but he would sympathize.

And uhhh

Im rambling :’)

I like reapertale ok.

Anyway these are my 2 cents bye!

"geno is masochistic" directly contradicts him in multiple ways lol.

he doesn't enjoy pain, he uses it as a punishment for himself. even his name is a punishment. he thinks he deserves the pain because he became hopeless

i think it's bad to sum it up as him wanting and enjoying pain. no bro. he's forcing himself to endure it. he literally called himself geno because of the genocide route. he shows himself bleeding and dying to shame himself, not because he gets off on it.

[imjustlaughingalong]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting or just being silly, but like...it very much feels like my father is making an earnest effort (whether he admits or not) to replace every aspect of his previous marriage and consequently family with this new woman and the "childless carefree bachelor" life he "deserves"

[necrotic-nephilim]

How do you think bruce would react to a Robin pile situation?

oooh this is a fun thought. i think it depends *entirely* if you're working with a morally stable Bruce or a Bruce who's a little fucked up and dead dove-ish. somehow, i think it's actually more fun if it's a completely stable Bruce bc that adds so much more drama and issues if Bruce is deeply unsettled by the idea. if it was maybe just Jason and Dick or Jason and Tim dating that's sort of understandable. Bruce knows that while he may see them all as his sons (except Steph bc do know Robin pile will *always* include Steph for me and tbh Cass too as an honorary member. they're all going in the pile.) but he understands that doesn't mean they see each other as brothers. he respects the nuanced and complicated relationships scattered across all of the Batfam.

but if all of them are *dating*? or at the very least sleeping together? that raises a lot of logistical red flags. the most obvious one is the age gap of it all- at the biggest gap you have Damian and Dick who are an easy fifteen years apart, meeting when Damian is a kid. not to mention how many of them have tried to kill each other at some point. it shouldn't work and Bruce doesn't like that it does. Bruce has a history of wanting to control the relationships of the Batkids when he disapproves. and so he'd absolutely try to break them up. at first, he paints it purely as a logistical issue. saying it's smartest not to bring feelings into work and that this is dangerous. i think it's especially fun if this happens at a time when Bruce doesn't approve of Steph or Jason so that *also* plays into it, he doesn't want either of them near the ones he currently considers to be his family. he says he wants to protect them and wants to keep them safe. he tries to appeal to who he thinks would be more logical and listen to him the most. first Dick, and then when that doesn't work, Tim. and when neither of them listen, i *do* think Bruce would stoop to the low of trying to break them up by fabricating internal conflict between them, hoping to divide and conquer the weird polycule it's become.

while i don't think Bruce would be jealous in the sense he wants to be included, i *do* think he's wildly dislike the Robins having this close bond that makes them trust each other implicitly more than they trust Bruce. they will defer to each other before him and clearly keep things from him. he'd despise that. it's an inner circle he's not let in on and it makes him lose aspects of control over some of them, especially Damian who's the youngest and his son, who Bruce deserves the most control over. he would drive himself mad about it. at first for genuine reasons over the perceived fucked up nature of the relationship (even when each of them have confirmed that it is entirely consensual and they're happy) and to protect them. but he becomes so bitter over being ignored. they openly prioritize each other over him when the truth comes out because they see no point in hiding it. and i could definitely see Jason gloating about how he's back in the family whether Bruce likes it or not. Bruce would be beyond pissed about it. he's just never recovering. trying to stop them gets nowhere, even if he manages to cause some internal conflict.

eventually, Bruce would be forced to accept it for fear he would lose all of them. but he's *not* going to be happy about it and he keeps making side comments, hoping to get through to one of them eventually. it doesn't work, but he's definitely not going to stop trying. i also think on some level it would just disgust him a little bit in a visceral way, since they're his kids to him and he doesn't like to picture them in that way. esp when Jason or Steph lean heavily into PDA just to fuck with him. ass grabs, cuddling, sloppy kisses, the whole nine yards. Bruce will not have a moment of peace.

[love-songs-for-emma]

am i going to single-handedly create a fandom about jay holt from the video game "as dusk falls"? i just fuckin might

[chompe-diem]

man did brian murphy manage to nail my type in blorbos……

[almostempty]

Something in your mouth

(joel miller x f!reader)

The third installment of  Never made it as a wise man aka creed!joel

WC: 8.4k | Part 1 | Part 2 |  Other fics | Rating: 18+ 

Summary: post hand job and phone sex; it’s the leadup and part 1 of these horny bishes goin’ on a date

Note: heyyyyy it’s me and i’m back on my bs . i know i promised the fuckening, but that was summer me and now it’s winter me.. so instead of hiding and never updating, i remembered i have free will so u get the full week lead-up and the first half of the date.. and then i’ll brb with the fuckfest okay? i promise. (also it’s actually almost done this time so it won’t take months). again, i am still merely a vessel for the spirit of buttrock joel. hopefully this part 3 is girthy enough to sate your appetite a lil bit  

Tags: au no outbreak modern joel, divorced dad rock dilf joel x f!reader, picks up right where pt 2 ended, alternating pov, dirty talk, horny yearning, blowjob in the truck, still crackish, but i am still dead serious about it being hot so idc, mistakes are all mine

Thanks to Nickelback for having non stop horny bangerz to quote such as Something in your mouth

major thanks to @hoelaris for this moodboard that made me weep tears of joy bc is it so perfect

thanks to @magneticecstasy for date joel thots to be ft in this pt and the next, @auteurdelabre for telling me to let them have their happy ending so i can get back to the paris boys faster, to @syd-djarin for support, horny thots, song suggestions etc, and @itwasntimethatdidit40 for the nickelback pedro tiktok edit inspo

it really takes a village or whatever they say <3 

*if u forgot what this is bc i took so long give Part 1 and  Part 2 a read for a refresh <3 

*if i missed ur tag or u want off this ride lemme know 

okay, it's starting now:

You wake up in Joel’s shirt. It smells more like you than him already, but it still makes you grin devilishly just the same. You go about your day, a few errands and some chores, the whole time with a little more energy than usual. 

When you’re back home and settled in to have a lazy afternoon, you get a little restless. Itchy fingers. It’s hard not to pick up your phone and check your messages again and again. You’re drawn to looking at the picture he sent, the pictures you took, and you can’t help wondering…

Did he wake up thinking of you? Hard, aching, and leaking at the memory of your voice. 

Did he dream of all the nasty things he said he wanted to do to you? Waking up throbbing and frustrated, grinding his cock into the mattress as if you were beneath him. 

Did he wake up and check his phone to confirm you were real? Making it all the way to the shower before surrendering, wishing it was your soft cunt he was fucking instead of his fist. 

You know you’re fucked when just thinking about him thinking about you has you so turned on. It’s so tempting to send him something else. Another picture? An audio message? A thinking of you 😘 text? 

No. No, no, no. 

You can wait him out. Make him work for it a little. He’s a full-grown man. You’ve already given him enough to work with. Plus, you wanna know what he’s gonna come up with next. Right? 

The lazy Sunday ends all too soon and before you know it you’re back to work. Dragging ass into the office with the biggest iced coffee you could buy. You deserve a treat to get through your Monday anyway. 

A little warning bell chimes in the back of your mind as you drop your things on your desk. Ellie grumbles a good morning that matches your enthusiasm for fluorescent lights at 8 am. A little seed of guilt sprouts within you. 

Is it fucked up of you to mess around with Joel? It’s not like it’s something serious. Or, does that make it even worse? There’s no way he would say anything to her about it. 

“Heard you saw Joel again,” she says before you’ve even sat down. Great. 

“Uh, yeah,” you reply, “Still didn’t feel right that he wouldn’t accept anything for helping with my car.” You sink into your chair, hesitating to say more. It’s too early to have a good poker face. 

“So you made him a lasagna?” She questions, staring you down. 

“Men love my meat sauce,” you say with a shrug. 

“Gross,” Ellie grimaces at that, “please, don’t ever say that again.” 

You buy her off with the rest of the cookies you had baked. She’s happy to take the entire container from you and happier to enjoy them all immediately. If she’s suspicious she’s either good at hiding it or you really don’t know how to read her. 

You carry on with your morning catching up on mindless tasks, swirling your coffee around as the ice starts to melt, and trying to stay focused. Ellie turns on her music and you can’t help thinking of Joel again. It’s like he’s infected your mind and every shitty 2000s post-grunge alt-rock song conjures him up. 

You can’t help wondering what exactly he would’ve told Ellie about your surprise visit. Would he have asked about you? Implied anything? You can’t stop yourself from asking. 

“What did he say?” 

Ellie’s head swivels towards you immediately. 

“Who?” 

Instantly you know you messed up. You didn’t realize how much time had passed. You shouldn’t still be thinking of him. She prods you about what you said and what you meant. Not accepting a nothing or a never mind. An uncomfortable wave of embarrassment twists in your stomach, heat blooms in your cheeks, and your hands are fidgety. 

You shouldn’t have brought it up, you shouldn't be so defensive. Shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.  

Ellie is sharp–cutthroat–reading your every move. You stare at the empty Tupperware on her desk, hoping it will reveal some sort of escape plan. A strategy to deflect. It’s too late. Her eyes narrow just the slightest bit and she follows your gaze. It clicks. 

“Oh, you meant Joel?” 

You’re so busted. “I..uh,” you don’t know how to finish that thought. 

“Why?” She gives you such a blank-faced look that it’s unsettling. You’re an adult. Why does this feel like you got caught sneaking out to see a boy on a school night?

You try to brush it off, but it sounds more defensive, making it worse. You focus on cracking your knuckles and trying to feign a more casual air. For some reason that means you keep talking. Broken sentences pouring out of you and trailing off into a stiff laugh. 

Mercifully, Ellie cuts you off. Tells you it was Tommy who mentioned it. 

So, he was the one who showed up while you had your legs spread open on Joel’s kitchen counter. The catalyst to your shirt heist and hasty getaway. That makes your face hot for a different reason. 

“Oh. Gross.” Ellie groans.

“What?” 

“You’ve got that look on your face.” 

You snort at that. Only slightly horrified that she’s so adept at picking up the tells on your face. “What look?” 

You suck down the last of your iced coffee, stalling, until you’re just sucking in air. You toss it in the tiny trash bin between the two of you and decide to be honest no matter what she says. You’d rather get ahead of it. 

“Was it a sex lasagna?” Her mouth is pulled into a look of disgust. 

You snort at that before shaking your head, preparing to get it all out. 

“Okay, look. It was a thank-you lasagna.” You pause, trying to figure out exactly how much to share. “I didn’t plan the rest of it. It just…happened. And, fuck, it was so hot.” 

Her face wrinkles with confusion, then disgust, then laughter. It makes your heart rate speed up. 

“I’m sorry,” your words come out like a waterfall. “I don’t want to make things weird. I want us to be friends. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sure it wasn’t serious. I’ll tell you whatever you want. It was my fault. I showed up without letting him know. I made the first move—” 

“You fold quick,” Ellie notes, interrupting you. She throws her hands up and you shut your mouth, “Look, you’re both adults, I don’t care what you do. Just, please, don’t tell me any of the sex details.” 

“Do you really not care? Or like, you say I don’t care and then treat me like Cheryl in the front office?” you ask. 

“No. I genuinely don’t give a shit. Well, I mean, if you break his heart I’ll have to kill you.”

“Naturally,” you agree with a solemn nod. 

“But,” she pauses to take a breath, tilting her head before continuing, “it would probably be good for him, don’t think he’s had a real date in a while. But don’t come back to me broken-hearted if he’s a dick—that’s just his face.”

“A date?” you echo. 

She groans and rolls her eyes at you, but it’s too late. 

Your mind starts to wander. With Ellie’s blessing, you don’t have a reason not to give it a shot.

The harps are already strumming as you float off into your cloud of dissociation. Your favorite daydream flickers into focus as your eyes glaze over and a dazed grin curls on your face. It’s always that same slo-mo Baywatch-style memory. That one where you caught Joel wiping the sweat off his forehead with the bottom of his t-shirt. The original temptation that led you back to him. 

Somehow, every time it replays, there’s a new easter egg just for you. The ghost of a knowing smirk or a sparkly-eyed wink when he catches your eye, like a wicked little tease to pull you deeper into the dream world. 

Sometimes it’s all too visceral. In the privacy of your mind, you’re free to direct the scene how you’d like. Slowly panning over the peek of soft skin and the trail of hair you can see. You can still feel the warmth on your fingertips from when you slipped your hand beneath the waistband of those navy blue boxers. 

Sometimes, you create something new. You’d like to take one of his sun-faded plastic green lawn chairs, drag it to the front porch, and sit yourself down for a show. You wanna watch him mow the grass in the evening heat. 

You can see the sweat beads dotted along his neck and the contour of his marble-sculpted arms as he serpentines along your fantasy world front lawn. 

You can smell the fresh-cut grass and the specific blend of sweaty man pheromones that Aphrodite concocted just for you. 

Your chest swells, lungs expanding, as you breathe slowly and deeply. The illusory scents fill your lungs until you release a deep, yearnful sigh. The imaginary lawn mower almost drowns out the imaginary Fred Durst bellering, It’s just one of those days, from that little stereo on the workbench. 

Before you can transition into another scenario—something bounces off your face, and you flinch with a loud yelp. 

“That was your warning,” Ellie glares at you. “Next time I’m throwing something sharp.” 

“Okay, okay, message received.” You offer a sheepish smile, and she turns around. It seems the Limp Bizkit song was very much not a figment of your imagination. Ellie mutters along to the lyrics behind you, barely audible, as you spin in your chair to get back to work. 

It’s not even five minutes later when you swivel in your chair again with another question for Ellie. 

There’s nothing like having a crush on a man you barely know to truly make you delusional. You know you’ve got it bad, but it’s unfortunately just so much fun to daydream and let your mind run wild with the very limited info you know about the man. 

You don’t want to worry about anything that could go wrong. 

Except for, well, everything. 

You still fret over texting him first or waiting. Should you send another picture with no context? Should you call? Should you wait another day? 

When you notice your chest feeling tight you give yourself a reality check. It’s Monday morning. You’re at work. He’s probably at work. You can figure it out later. A future you problem. 

Joel’s text comes through late in the evening. 

Joel: You wearing my shirt to bed again? 

You’re grinning immediately. At hearing from him first and because he fucking clocked you. You snap a quick photo. Despite being on the spot, it’s thoughtfully crafted. Just enough to show the logo and only your mouth, not your face, no extra skin, no sexy tease. Just a confirmation. You send it off, and his reply buzzes seconds later. 

Joel: More 

You try to bite back the grin still stuck on your face as your fingers dance across the screen. You want to tell him off for being so blunt, but for some reason, it feels like such a compliment. You’ve definitely got it bad if a thirsty one-word text feels like high praise. 

You aren’t going to give in this time. You’ve still got Ellie’s words echoing in your mind. A date. You type back one line. 

You: Gonna have to earn it if you want more 

Your phone rings shortly after your message is delivered. Joel’s name flashes on the screen and your stomach flips. You thought maybe he’d send another dick pic, but now he’s calling you? It does check out that he wouldn’t be the texting type, to be fair.

“Hey,” you answer, voice soft, a little tentative. 

“You’re gonna make me work for it, huh?” His drawl is low, rough around the edges and so stupidly sexy it makes your nipples hard. You can just tell he’s already on edge. Delight floods your veins at the idea of him thinking of you all day. 

“You could use a lesson in patience,” your voice is remarkably steady, despite the way your body is lit up. You chew at your lower lip. “Thought I told you that last time we were on the phone,” you chide. 

A deep chuckle rumbles through the phone. “Patience,” he repeats. There’s a pause that has you holding your breath. “I don’t think you’re playin’ fair, baby. Knowing you’re in bed with my shirt on, teasin’ me with another picture.” His voice takes on a husky, knowing tone. “Don’t think it’s patience you’re lookin’ for. Bet I know what you really want.” 

Your breath catches, loud enough he wouldn’t miss it even with his busted phone. You weren’t prepared to be so affected by just the timbre of his voice. It’s fucked up the way he’s got you breathless for no damn good reason. 

You can picture him in his bed. The trademark navy blue sheets. Is he fresh out of the shower? Damp hair and the overpowering scent of whatever 10 in 1 man soap was on sale at the grocery store— 

“Okay. Enlighten me then. What do I want?” you finally reply. 

“You want to hear it,” he continues, smooth and smug, radiating a cocky smirk right through the phone that makes your skin tingle. “You want to hear how you’ve got me hard, sittin’ here thinkin’ about you,” Joel growls, his voice thick with heat. “Thinkin’ about you wearing just my shirt.”

You bite down on your lip to stay quiet. Maybe he’s not in bed at all. Maybe he’s still out in his shop, locked in the office, a couple beers down before he dared to text you. His hair a mess from running his fingers through it, in those faded jeans that cling to him perfectly. 

Either way, it seems almost cruel to stop him with a mouth like that. 

“Thinking about what I’d do if you were here,” he carries on. “You look good in my shirt.” His voice drops even lower. “You’d let me push it up though, wouldn’t you? Just enough so I can see how wet you are for me.” 

You can’t help pressing your thighs together at that thought. If he hears how turned on you are already, you’re definitely going to end up acting out his fantasy over the phone. 

“Fuck.” he mutters, his voice breaking. “You’d let me take my time. Get my hands on those perfect tits again. Soak my fingers with that sweet pussy. Have you so worked up you’d be begging for my cock.” 

He says it like it’s a fact, as if he could come over right now and you’d drag him straight to your bed—or no, like you’d be on him before he could shut the front door. 

It’s so filthy, so confident. You’re so tempted to keep him going, but you pull yourself together. Biting back the whimper stuck in your throat.  

“Well, damn, Joel,” you swallow down the urge to ask for more details. “Guess you’ve got me all figured out then,” you tease with a heavy dash of sarcasm in your tone. 

“Not all of you,” he replies, with a suggestive edge. “Not yet.”

You let out a breath you were holding. “Look, you can’t just get your dick out on the phone, tell me how you wanna touch me, and get your way,” you manage, steady and a little sharp. “Not this time.”

“Not this time?” he echoes, half-laughing, clearly amused. “Alright. Sure. What do you want then?”

There’s a flicker of nervousness that tightens in your chest. You don’t want him to think you’re rejecting him, don’t want to risk losing the momentum of whatever this is. “I’m saying…I do want you. But, if you want more you’re going to have to do more. Show me you mean it. Like…a date.”

He doesn’t answer immediately, and your heart skips as you imagine his reaction. He’s quiet, but you can hear his breathing—measured, like he’s weighing something.

“Shit. You’re serious?” he asks, and there’s a softness now, laced with just enough curiosity to make you think he’s intrigued.

“Dead serious,” you say, adding, “But if you’re not interested in me like that—”

“Oh, I’m interested.” The words come quick, a little sharper than you expect, and they make you beam. “Fine. A date,” he says, like he’s letting the word settle on his tongue. “Friday?”

“Friday.” You confirm and stretch your neck. Your muscles are tense. Shoulders tight. All from his filthy words getting you worked up in half a second and the anxiety of your demand. “Come up with something good,” you tease, your voice slipping into something sultrier, “and maybe we’ll both get what we want.”

There’s a low growl on the other end of the line, tinged with frustration and desire. It makes your pulse throb in your clit. You almost wish you had let him talk you through it before suggesting the date. Hear how worked up he’s been over you. 

“Jesus,” he grumbles. 

Oh, you would’ve turned into a mess and completely forgotten to bring it up. Now you’ve essentially cock blocked yourself until the end of the week. Ugh. 

“You’re gonna drive me mad.” He says. But there’s no animosity in it. Instead, there’s something new in his voice that gives you butterflies. 

“Yep.” 

You’re the one who hangs up first before you can hear anything else that might tempt you to stray from your plan.

……..

It’s late morning when your phone buzzes on your desk the next day, interrupting your excellent cosplay of a ‘productive employee’. You glance at the screen and your heart trips when you see Joel’s name. 

You answer, trying to sound casual despite the fluttery feeling in your chest. “Calling me during business hours, Mr. Miller? You’re going to get me in trouble.” 

Joel snorts softly. “Think we both know you’re the one that likes causin’ trouble.” 

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” 

His voice drops lower, quieter. “You need a reminder? Cause I’ve been replaying exactly how much trouble you caused in my kitchen…”

“Don’t.” You nearly hiss into the phone, trying to cut him off before he starts with any graphic retellings. You spin in your chair, grateful when you confirm Ellie has headphones on for once. 

“Right.” His voice is back to a slightly less devastatingly erotic tone. “Wouldn’t want to get carried away while you’re at work. 

“Well,” he drawls, the grin evident in his voice now. “You said you wanted a date, so I was thinking.”

You hum, leaning into the teasing tone. “If it’s a chain restaurant I’m canceling right now.”

“Do I seem like the kind of guy who’d take you to Applebee’s?”

“Do you want me to answer that honestly?” you quip, laughing at the soft groan he makes in response. “No Applebee’s, no Chili’s, and if you’re thinking about taking me to whatever the fanciest Italian place is in this town, don’t. I’m not going on a first date where you used to take your ex-wife for anniversary dinners.” 

There’s a beat of silence, then a grumbled, “It was Valentine’s, actually.”

You cackle, delighted at your guess. He huffs. “You’re impossible.”

“You’re predictable,” you shoot back, grinning as you cross your legs under your desk. “Or maybe it’s just ‘cause nobody has been challenging you.”

“S’that what you are?” he asks, “A challenge?” 

You shift in your chair, the grin on your face is going to make your cheeks burn if he keeps this up. You soften the teasing as you admit. “Maybe a little.” 

“Mm,” he grunts, clearly not convinced.

“If you’re up for it,” you add. Nerves flutter in your stomach now. Maybe he doesn’t want a challenge at all. It’s not like you’ve been hard to get. The silence stretches just long enough to make you wonder if you’ve pushed too far. 

His exasperated sigh crackles through the phone, but it’s laced with something warmer. “Yeah.” But then he exhales, soft and almost self-conscious. “Ain’t a bad thing.”

The words are simple, but they settle somewhere deep, curling warm in your chest. For a moment, the flirty defense falls, and you catch the subtle weight in his voice.

“You’re full of surprises, Joel,” you say finally, your tone gentle.

“Guess you’ll find out,” he murmurs, the words quiet like he’s not sure he’s meant to say them.

Your stomach flutters at the unexpected softness. You knew there was more to him than his bold mouth when his dick is hard or the stoic lone wolf look he wears in his garage. You weren’t expecting him to be…whatever this is now. 

The line goes quiet again, his breathing soft on the other end. “Friday at seven,” he says after a moment, his voice steady but quieter than before. “There’s a brewery that Tommy suggested. I’ll pick you up.”

“That sounds nice,” you reply, smiling into the phone.

“Alright,” he mutters. There’s a brief pause, like he’s hesitating, before he says, “See you then.”

He hangs up before you can say anything else, and for a moment, you’re left staring at your phone like an idiot. A grin stuck on your face. Possibly permanently. 

It’s not just the idea of the date. It’s the thought of Joel making a plan, asking for recommendations, and thinking of what you might like. You figured it’d be fun to give him a hard time and all, but you didn’t have real expectations. 

The week stretches on and you’re not sure if it’s moving too fast or too slow. Having a crush is wicked enough, but having a date planned makes you feel slightly insane. It’s like you’re in a cartoon where the world is suddenly brighter and the birds sing just for you. 

You find yourself constantly daydreaming at work. Every Creed song Ellie plays somehow sends you into a fugue state. Snippets of Joel’s voice replay in your head. 

There’s something about the way he said, “Ain’t a bad thing,” that keeps sneaking up on you when you least expect it. It wasn’t even what he said—it was how he said it. Quiet, like he wasn’t used to admitting something like that out loud. It makes you smile like a fool every time you think about it.

The worst is the evenings. At home in your room. Nothing to distract you. Alone with his t-shirt. Re-reading your brief texts. Lingering wistfully over the dick pic he sent like it’s a letter from your long-distance lover. You’ve got to get it together. 

And Joel? He’s just as distracted, though he’d never admit it. At least not to anyone but you. 

At work, his usual rhythm is thrown completely out of whack. He catches himself staring at the same invoice three times before finally filing it away. Tommy catches him with his Breaking Benjamin t-shirt inside out. 

You’re in his head and it’s driving him nuts. He tried to minimize it. Deciding it was just the impulsive way you crashed into his world. You spread like a wildfire in his mind. The kindness in you to deliver a homemade meal. The audaciousness you have to go after what you want. 

He goes weak for a confident woman and you’re so sharp and quick with him. It’s a rush, but not just because of the sexual chemistry. Not just because you’re a novelty or a break in his routine. 

It’s you. It’s the way you’ve got the passion and sharpness with your words, but you’re still soft on the edges. He thinks about the way your voice had dipped when you said, “If you’re up for it,” like you weren’t just teasing but testing something, seeing if he’d push you away.

He’s not used to this. Not the nerves, not the anticipation, and definitely not the way he’s spending too much time wondering what to wear on Friday. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he even dug through the back of his closet, holding up a button-down shirt Ellie had bought him last Christmas like it might bite him. He ends up tossing it back in favor of flannel—it’s still a step up from a faded band t-shirt. 

By Thursday you’re nearly useless. You drive Ellie crazy all morning, spacing out and jumping when she asks you a question. To be respectful, you haven’t mentioned the date and she hasn’t asked. Would Joel have told her? Does she know you’re losing your mind over a man who probably has holes in his sweatpants? Are you equally as pathetic? 

You’re still stuck on that thought when she kicks your chair, startling you back to reality. “Come on,” she demands. “We’re outta here and you’re coming to the Main Street with me. I’ll buy.” 

Turns out you’re a cheap date. The dive bar has strong cocktails and a very limited menu of fried foods to choose from. You sit outside at a picnic table enjoying the warmth of the early summer evening. 

Ellie is easy to get along with. Talking animatedly about her friends. Sharing the hot goss about Cheryl and her divorce. Trying to recruit you to join the company rec league kickball team. It’s all a welcome distraction even though you still have Joel on the brain. 

You do your best not to bring him up but when she mentions him you know you perk up like a heart-eyed fool. Begrudgingly, but with sincerity, Ellie asks if the date is what’s got you so distracted. 

“How did you know?” 

“You’re both worse than teenagers.” She rolls her eyes. “Thought bringing you here might take your mind off it.” 

You snap to attention at her choice of words. “Both?” 

“Don’t.” 

She’s a good friend. You did need the distraction. You’re still smiling about that thought as you check yourself out in the mirror in the bathroom at the bar. There’s a poster taped to the paper towel dispenser for the cover band that plays Saturday nights that catches your eye before you slip your phone out of your pocket. 

You’d blame it on the drinks but the truth is only had one. You hover over the messages. Wondering if he’s really as nervous as you. Fuck it, you decide before sending what you’ve been wondering. 

You: You been thinking about me? 

His message comes through so fast it’s more revealing than the words he typed. 

Joel: Maybe 

Fuck, why does one word have you feeling giddy already? 

Joel: Have you? 

He asks shortly after. You wonder if he’s second guessing himself. Is Joel nervous? 

You: A little  

You figure you’ll give him the same treatment. 

Joel: Haven’t been able to stop, if I’m honest baby 

Heat floods your face as you stare at the screen, and his next message comes before you can respond. 

Joel: Friday’s been feeling real far away 

That has you shaking your head. 

You: Patience is a virtue 

He’s quick to respond again. 

Joel: Never claimed to be a saintly man 

That makes you genuinely laugh. 

You: Good 

……

By the time Friday night rolls around, you’ve fully spiraled into a mess of anxiety and excitement. You’re not really the type to overthink a date, but there’s something about the whole scenario that feels different. It’s not just because Joel’s hot—hotter than he has any right to be—but he’s trying. For you. It’s disarming in a way you weren’t expecting. 

You know that the worst-case scenario for the night isn’t bad. You know how to have a good time wherever you are and you are confident that he’s a horny bastard that will put out even if you actively try to sabotage the date. It’s that flickering sensation in your chest that hopes for more. That’s what makes you nervous. 

You’re startled when Joel knocks at your front door. You check your reflection one last time before heading to the door. You figure it’s casual enough for a first date at a brewery. 

Despite everything inside of you that screamed to put your tits on display again—you couldn’t resist wearing the Creed shirt. You tied it up in the front so it accentuates your figure and paired it with a faux leather skirt with a matching black lace set underneath. 

It’s gotta be enough to play at the alt-rock vibe he’s still living in. You look good. Really good. 

But when you open the door he isn’t the only one who’s world gets rocked. Joel stands in front of you like he was plucked from your fantasy. Freshly showered, his damp curls just starting to dry in soft waves. A plaid button-down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off those strong, tan forearms. His dark jeans are markedly not as worn down as the last pair you saw him in, yet the effect on you is just as dastardly. 

It’s unfair, really, how good he looks. You’re left blinking as your mouth goes a little dry while you drink him in. Who’s idea was it to have a date? In public? Fuck. He shifts, a sly smile growing on his face as he rests his hip against the door jam. 

“Hi,” you mumble, still ogling him. 

“You look… real nice,” he says, voice so low and velvety it should be registered as a weapon. 

You know you had a smart-ass remark about the shirt on the tip of your tongue, but it’s gone. Gone… along with your morals. All you’ve got left is the intense, primal desire to do something inappropriate with his arms? Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny gremlins like your idea despite having no logistics or master plan. 

They seem to have no coherent plan of attack at all, to be honest. Bite! Lick! Suck! All you know is that you need him in your mouth until your jaw is sore. 

Joel huffs softly. Amused that you seem speechless. “Didn’t think flannel was all that special baby, you alright?” 

“It’s not the flannel,” you mutter under your breath, but you don't let him hear the rest of that thought: Arms! Arms! Arms! 

You grab your bag and follow him out to the truck, stealing glances at him as he walks ahead of you. You can’t help it. He’s so…solid. Sturdy. Sure of himself. Even when he’s out of his comfort zone. It’s doing something sinful to you. 

The inside of the truck smells faintly like a Black Ice air freshener, a Home Depot on a Sunday morning, and Armor All. The distinctly Joel aesthetic lives up to your imagination. It’s lived in. Comfortable. 

There’s the catchall cupholder of change, receipts, and literal nuts and bolts. The caseless CDs in the storage divider strapped to the sun visor—you recognize a couple like Seether and Three Days Grace. 

Before you can take in every detail though, you’re distracted by just the sight of him driving. It’s absurd, but why does he look this good just driving? Most people can manage to operate a vehicle, but most people don’t look as fuckable as Joel does, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh. Hand! Thigh! Neck! Fingers! 

You’re reduced to only being able to name anatomical features when you’re this close to him, apparently. Like an alien learning about a man for the first time. An extraterrestrial explorer propelled by the most curious desire to taste and touch every part of Joel—for research. 

You’re so caught up that it takes a while to register the song that’s playing. Of course, it’s more Nickelback. 

You're so much cooler

When you never pull it out

Cause you look so much cuter

With something in your mouth

It breaks the spell he has on you and you laugh, really laugh. Joel looks slightly horrified, having no idea what led to your outburst. When you’ve recovered enough, you let him in on it. 

“Nice first date song. You really know how to set the mood.” 

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t change the song, and you let yourself glance at him again as he drives. His profile glows in the evening sun, and you can’t help thinking how easy it would be to reach over and drag your hand down his chest, and make him pull over so you could climb into his lap. The thought has you pressing your thighs together, your pulse thrumming in your ears. At this rate you’re not going to make it through the night. 

…..

The brewery is trendy. Joel hopes it’s something you like. He tries to focus on the menu, but feels like his brain is short-circuiting. It’s not the overpriced burgers or the craft beers with descriptors that don’t sound like flavors. It’s the way you're leaning forward on your elbows, chin resting in your hand, smile tugging at your lips. 

The shirt is unfair. The way you’ve got it tied, hugging your body in ways that make his palms itch. Knowing you were touching yourself in the same shirt to the sound of his voice. He’s trying not to stare, trying to be polite, but it’s damn near impossible with you sitting across from him like that. 

“How about this one?” you say, pointing to an option on the menu. “Probably the closest thing to what you’ve got stocked in the shop fridge.” He’d wonder how you knew what he had in the fridge, but his eyes are glued to your finger pointing at the menu and it’s consuming all of his thoughts. 

You ramble on about a few other choices but he doesn’t hear the words. He’s still stuck on your hand. He swears he can still feel the ghost of your touch from the kitchen last week. Shit. His jeans are already feeling tighter than they should. 

He clears his throat, trying to pull it together. “I’ll trust you.”  

You smile wide at that. He’s so fucked. “You know a lot about fancy beer.” Yikes. “You got a favorite on here?” Get it together, he begs himself. 

“Nah, I don’t really like beer,” you say casually. You give him a shrug and point out a cider you’re thinking about trying. His stomach twists. 

“You don’t like beer,” he repeats. “But, you let me take you to a brewery?” His chest feels tight, and he shifts uncomfortably. 

“They have food, too.” you counter. 

“Right.” Why does he feel like he’s so out of his element? He’s been second-guessing everything about this date. He feels his gaze drifting as his eyes shift out of focus, his fingers toy with his bottom lip as he gets lost in his head. 

He knows he can get you worked up just as bad as him over the phone, knows he can make you sing for him with just his fingers, but this? He doesn’t know what you want from him now. Is the date some kind of test? He knows he’s overthinking all of it. 

“Hey.” Your voice brings him back, pulling him out of his thoughts. “I like that you planned something.” 

It seems genuine. The way you look at him with bright eyes and a smirk like you’ve got something to tease him about on the tip of your tongue. “Now ask me a boring first date question,” you instruct with a nod like you’re giving him some kind of permission. 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

You snort laughing at him. If you’re half as nervous as him you don’t show it. 

….

It works. Mostly. Your drinks arrive. The conversation flows more easily. He still gets tripped up here and there but doesn’t disappear on you again. He asks about your job, your family, about where you moved from, and you give him enough to keep things light but still playfully dodge some of his questions. 

Every time he gets flustered, you catch yourself smiling, a little surprised at how much you’re enjoying this. It’s the way he watches you like he’s trying to figure you out. The way he tries. He seems to relax a little and for a moment, you think he might settle into the evening. 

Then he reaches for his water, and it all goes sideways. The dangerously full glass wobbles, tilting just enough to spill halfway across the table. Joel jerks back, cursing dejectedly under his breath as he grabs a napkin to clean it up. 

You can’t help it. The words are out of your mouth before you can stop them. Just loud enough for him to hear. “Trying to get me wet already?” 

His eyes snap to yours. You grin, adding, “Don’t worry, been dripping for you since you showed up at my front door.” 

He makes a sound between a cough and a choke. Stunned. The faintest blush creeps up his neck, reaching all the way to his ears. For a second, he looks like he might say something, but all he manages to get out is a gruff, “Jesus.” 

You lean back in your chair, grinning triumphantly. You didn’t expect him to get so rattled by your comment. Not with how vulgar he’s been on the phone or when he had his hand between your legs. It’s an ego boost to know you’ve got the upper hand at first. 

“Relax,” you purr. 

Then you catch the way he discreetly tries to adjust himself under the table. Clearly unable to relieve the pressure. Knowing the effect you have on him is more intoxicating than the alcohol. An idea strikes you. You know exactly how to get him to relax. 

“Do you have cash?” you ask. 

“What? Yeah.” He looks at you confused. 

You nod like he proved a point by saying yes. That confuses him further, a deep line forming between his brows. 

“‘Course you do. That’s like, Dad 101 ‘carry cash in case of emergency’. 

You stand and grab your bag. “We’re not staying,” you say simply.

“What?” He frowns, sitting up straighter. 

You flash him a smile. “I’ve got a better idea. Come on. You said you trust me.”

“To choose a beer,” he grumbles, dropping enough cash for a generous tip on the table before letting you lead. He doesn’t argue as you walk back to the truck, just trying to catch up with your words. He opens the passenger door for you, his hand brushing yours briefly as you climb into the truck. It’s a small thing, but the innocence makes your pulse skip all the same. 

Once he’s in the driver’s seat, the tension between you shifts. The silence isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s charged. You glance at him, taking in the way his hands grip the steering wheel so tightly, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he shifts. 

The truck rumbles to life and another one of the horniest Nickelback songs plays—barely loud enough to recognize. 

I’m loving what you wanna wear

I wonder what’s up under there 

Wonder if I’ll ever have it under my tongue 

You bite back another laugh as the vocals float through the cab, perfectly at odds with the vibe of the place you just left. Joel shifts, mouth twitching like he knows how ridiculous it is. “You wanna tell me where we’re headed?” he asks, voice cutting through your thoughts. 

You tell him where to drive and settle back in your seat. Again your thoughts drift. Infatuated with his fingers curling and uncurling like he’s trying to distract himself. He hasn’t said much since you’ve left, but you can feel the tension radiating off him. Heavy and thick. 

You catch his gaze flicker to you for the third time in as many minutes. His eyes trail over the curve of your thighs where your skirt has ridden up. It’s subtle, but enough to make you feel bold. 

You smirk, pulling the visor down to check your reflection in the mirror. Fishing a lip gloss out from your bag, you swipe it over your lips, smoothing the edges with your fingertip. Joel doesn’t say anything, but you don’t miss the deep steadying breath that fills his lungs or the crack of his knuckles. 

Satisfied with your lips, you tug lightly at the t-shirt, adjusting the knot, shifting the fabric to lay how you like and slipping a hand beneath it to adjust your tits in your lacy bra. You hear Joel exhale sharply, a low, throaty sound that makes heat curl low in your stomach. 

“You okay?” you ask, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. Your voice is softer now, more knowing, and when he doesn’t answer right away, you grin. “You seem tense.”

Joel mutters something under his breath. His jaw tightens. Finally, he glances at you, his eyes dark. “You keep doin’ that, and we’re gonna have a problem, baby.”

“Doing what?” you ask, your voice all innocence, though his threat gives you a prickly rush. 

Joel huffs a laugh, low and rough. “You know damn well.” His voice dips, a rasp of heat that whips down your spine. “The lips and the shirt, just messin’ with me like you want me to lose my fuckin’ mind.” 

Your grin widens as you meet his gaze. “And what if I do?”

“Jesus,” he mutters, his voice strained, his hand flexing against the wheel. “Trying to get me to crash into a ditch or something?” 

The tension between you is unbearable now, the air thick and buzzing. Joel’s jaw is clenched tightly. You unabashedly linger on the way his hips press forward slightly like he’s trying to relieve the ache between his legs. It shouldn’t drive you fucking wild with need, but you’re gripped mind, pussy, and soul. 

“Pull over,” you say suddenly, your tone steady.

Joel’s head snaps toward you, incredulous. 

“Pull over,” you repeat, your voice softer now, more insistent. “Please.”

He hesitates for only a second before caving, steering the truck onto the shoulder. The tires crunch against the gravel as he shifts into park, the engine idling low as he turns to look at you. His eyes are dark, his breathing uneven, and the sight of him—wrecked and barely holding it together—makes you rabid. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” his voice is rough and quiet. Infused with lust and awe. 

“Maybe,” you murmur, leaning closer. “But you’ll enjoy it.”

Joel groans softly, his hand flying to your thigh, the heat of his palm searing against your skin. “Torturing me,” he mutters, his voice a low growl. “Sitting there lookin’ like that, knowing damn well what you’re doin’ to me.”

“Yeah?” you ask, your breath hitching as his fingers slide higher. “What am I doing to you, Joel?”

He exhales sharply, his grip on your thigh tightening. Why are his hands that big? Like, how are you supposed to know what they feel like and ever leave his grasp? 

Your heart is pounding now, the heat in your veins making it hard to think straight. Joel’s voice drops lower, his hand sliding further up your thigh as he leans closer.

“Can’t stop thinkin’ about it,” he mutters, his lips ghosting over your jaw. “The way you’d taste, the way you’d sound, begging me to fuck you harder, deeper—”

“Joel,” you whisper, cutting him off. Your voice is shaky, your hands gripping his arm as you try to ground yourself. “Please.”

He groans again, the sound rough and desperate, and his hand moves higher, his fingers brushing the edge of your underwear. “Yeah, baby,” he murmurs, his voice thick with satisfaction. “That’s what I wanna hear.”

It makes you shudder. You feel him smile at your body's obvious responses, as his nose grazes your skin just below your ear. 

“You’re so fuckin’ perfect,” he murmurs into your neck. “Been thinkin’ about you all damn week. Every time I close my eyes, it’s you.”

His words hit like a match to dry kindling, and your breath stutters as his fingers trace the seam of your panties. 

“You know how hard it was to sit there at that table?” he mutters, his voice turning darker. “With you looking like this, wearing my clothes, teasin’ me.” 

“We didn’t even make it to the actual dinner part,” you giggle as you trail off. 

His fingers press more firmly, dragging slowly over the thin fabric, and you can’t stop the gasp that escapes your lips. Joel groans at the sound, his free hand gripping your thigh to hold you steady.

“Fuck, baby,” he rasps, his voice thick with heat. “You’re already soaked. Bet I could make you come like this, right here, without even tryin’.”

Your hips shift instinctively, grinding against his hand as he works you with deliberate precision. The friction is maddening, just enough to keep you on edge, but not enough to send you over. Every filthy word he says in your ear has you burning up. 

“Jesus, you’re gonna sound so fuckin’ sweet for me,” he says, more to himself. “Can’t wait to bury my face between your legs, make you scream my name until your throat’s raw.”

“Joel,” you whisper, your voice shaky, your hand flying to his wrist as his fingers dip lower, brushing just beneath the edge of your panties. “Wait.”

He freezes instantly, his brow furrowing as he looks at you. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head, your cheeks flushed, your body still trembling under his touch. “Not now,” you assert, your voice soft but steady. “Let me take care of you.”

Joel blinks, his pupils blown wide as your words sink in. His mouth parts to say something but the words disappear. You don’t let him argue. 

Sliding your hand down to his belt, you undo it hastily, fingers working open the button of his jeans before he can protest. It’s for him. You want to do this for him. Help him relax so you can enjoy the rest of your date. 

But, fuck, it’s also for you. You’ve been riding a high just from a shoddy dick pic and your muscle memory, but you’ve been patient long enough. You’ve got to see it in person and you need it in your mouth, asap. You deserve that much, right? 

You slide down the zipper and fuss with the waistband until you get what you wanted. His breath catches as you free his cock. It’s heavy and hard against your palm. Radiating heat and weeping for you. 

“Oh, fuck,” he starts, his voice breaking. 

You hum softly, pleased, leaning in to kiss him as your hand strokes him slowly, deliberately. Joel groans against your mouth, his hips jerking slightly into your hand. 

“You’ve been thinking about this,” you murmur against his lips. “All week.” 

“Yeah,” he rasps, voice raw with want. “Can’t stop thinking about you. How you’d feel, how you’d look, how you’d sound.” 

“Show me,” you whisper, lowering your head to taste for yourself. You like a hot stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling your tongue around the head. 

Joel’s breath stutters, his hand flying to the back of your head as he watches you. “You’re so fucking good, baby. Like a fucking dream.” 

You hollow your cheeks, tongue gliding along his length as you take him into the heat of your mouth. You have to use your hands to work the rest of him, still slowly and deliberately. Every sound he makes, every twitch against your tongue, every flex of his core, and tightening of his fingers, it all drives you wild. 

It has you moaning with need around him. Your cunt soaked and pulsing, begging for attention between your legs as you focus all on him. It’s just as much for you as it is for him. 

His head tips back against the seat, a rumbling grown spilling from his lips as his hips shift beneath you. 

“Shit.” he pants, voice cracking. “You’re gonna make come so fuckin’ hard. Bet you’d look so pretty with my come on your tongue.” 

The sheer filth of his words spurs you on, your movements quickening as you savor every groan, curse, and sharp inhale from him. “Fuck—just like that.” He encourages you, adding firm pressure to the back of your head as his hips jerk and he loses control. 

“You want it?” he asks desperately as you moan in affirmation. You’re voice is still vibrating through him as he starts to come, hot and heavy on your tongue. You don’t stop until his body goes slack beneath you, his chest heaving as you finally pull back. 

He looks wrecked, mouth hanging open, sweat on his brow. You give him a devilish smile before opening your mouth to show him. He stares at you, eyes dark and hazy, before cupping your jaw in his palm as you swallow. 

“Told you,” he huffs, “so fucking pretty with my come on your tongue.” A bright, satisfied smile spreads on your face at his praise. He pulls you in closer for a kiss. When you pull back a frown pulls at your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” Joel asks hurriedly. 

“I didn’t get to see,” you muse. “Will you take a picture next time?” 

“Fuck,” he looks at you with awe and pride. “Yeah, baby, of course.” 

“Good,” you nod, readjusting and settling back into your seat. “You think you can relax a little now?” you ask, tone teasing.

Joel lets out a breathless laugh. He drags his hand down his face. “You’re unreal,” he mutters, voice still hoarse. The phrase makes you beam with pride. It’s the same remark he made over the phone last week…right before he said ‘got me shooting loads like a fucking teenager’.” 

The gratification just from seeing him this wrecked is like a drug. He’s every bit as enticing and addicting as you hoped and feared. You squeeze your thighs together once more and take a deep breath. Committed to the rest of your idea for saving your first date with the divorced DILF of your dreams. 

“Back on the road. We’ve got places to be.”

Joel blinks at you, still trying to catch his breath. “You’re serious?”

“Yep,” you smile lazily, tugging gently at his arm. “Drive.”

He shakes his head, muttering something under his breath about you being the death of him, but he shifts the truck into gear, his hand lingering on your thigh as he pulls back onto the road.

THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU ENJOYED OR HATED ANY OF IT <3

dividers by @/cyberangel-graphics

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[mac-n-chees]

man i fucking hate enji todoroki

when i say that i hate endeavor i dont mean i think he’s icky and i dont like him. i mean i dont think he deserved the forgiveness he got im so sorry. for context let’s back things up. the entire todoroki family lore is SO FUCKED UP. the whole “convenience marriage” thing? WHACK. sa-ing rei until she gave him the child he wanted? WHACK. and we don’t talk about that enough! it was rape! he didn’t care about her at all, he just wanted the perfect weapon to beat all might! and then touya’s whole deal? the fact that he was literally self destructing bc he thought he wasn’t good enough? and endeavor never made him feel good enough? he had all the right to become a villain.

and then, shoto. literally alienated him from his siblings so none of them know a single thing about him and vice versa. weaponizing him since he was a TODDLER. and saying he was “tough on him” is a SEVERE understatement, that little boy was thoroughly abused.

and then the aftermath of the whole thing with rei. he traumatized her so bad it led her to BURN HER OWN SON’S FACE. and what did he do instead of reevaluate his behavior? LOCK HER UP IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION. and not because he cared for her health, but because he didn’t want her to hurt shoto again. messed. the fuck. up.

and if yall gonna come in here and say “oh but other characters have been forgiven after their redemption arcs like zuko and regina mills” DONT YOU EVER COME IN HERE WITH THAT SHIT. their entire redemption arc revolved around them making a wrong choice that further proved to them that being good was the right way. they felt severe unease, and like it wasn’t “them”, so to speak, at being inherently “evil” so they CHOSE to convert because being “evil” was not their true selves. they made MISTAKES but learned from those mistakes BY THEMSELVES without anyone else influencing their thoughts or telling them anything. they CHOSE good because the people they cared about were good, and they wanted to be with them. they made a bad choice, yes, but the whole point of the redemption arc was that they learned from it and improved their characters. endeavor did not make a bad choice, he abused actual, living people for many, many, MANY years. it wasn’t a “bad choice” it was a deliberate decision to fulfill his stupid fucking delusions of grandeur.

how are those antiheroes different from endeavor you ask? I WILL TELL YOU. sure, he got a redemption arc, and sure he got forgiven. but did yall notice he only did an effort to do better after he became the number 1 hero? after shoto was in UA and his children were grown? after rei was locked up so she couldn’t tell anyone about what happened? after all might was no longer the symbol of peace? he only made the effort to become a better person once his OWN PERSONAL GOALS were fulfilled. he always prioritized himself. he didn’t learn shit. he’s not sorry for shit. he regrets nothing. he just wants to be perceived as the perfect #1 hero like all might was.

be fucking for real, his redemption arc was NONEXISTENT, and his children should not forgive him no matter how hard he begs. he does not deserve forgiveness. he’s a fucking abuser, rapist, and all around ASSHOLE.

if he has no haters im dead. and if i see even one endeavor ass kisser in the comments, you’re getting blocked idgaf. the fact that you think he’s hot and just because of that he earned his forgiveness will not fly here hoes idc. that man deserves to rot in hell for all he’s done, if he wasn’t (and i cannot stress the “quote unquote” part enough) “attractive” yall would be on the other side. i can’t anymore, endeavor stans gtfo.

[stoneypony17]

omfg I need to get dis off my chest I HATE DISCORD SO MUCH

you'd think I'm over reacting, but no, anytime I see dis CREATIN on my screen I feel rage upon me as my blood boils and I shake my fist up in the air in ANGER. (Maybe not dat far...)

My main point is dat I'm just trying to find other fellow discord haters here, if u like discord good for you, dis is just my personal opinion BUT I FREAKING HATE HIM SO MUCH

I don't think he deserves to be redeemed AT ALL as we constantly see him being an asswipe to the whola mane six (except for fluttershy ofc -_-) solely for filler episodes or plot convinces and he is never actually useful at all. In the season 6 finale literally the ONLY time I remember him actually being useful was when he distracted the changelings and sacrificed himself for the group (dat literally took no effort at all..)

I specifically see him constantly going after twilight the most, I don't know why he has such a stick up his ass for her but he just does(???) there's multiple cases of him doing this buy I'm going to specially pick the episode "Three's a crowd".

Here, the main plot is dat Twilight and Candance set up a hangout together as tthey rarely get to spend time with each other unless it involes saving equestria. But of course, this fuckhead needs to make it all about himself because his widdle fwuttershy is off on a trip and he's alllll alone, so he fakes being sick for attention (grown ass adult btw..) and tries bugging applejack and rarity to take care of him. When they refuse he makes them sick and then takes his candyass to Twilight and Candance to RUIN THEIR DAYS INSTEAD. (Mind you, why couldn't he have just teleported to fluttershy and spend time with her there??)

He begins annoying Twilight and Candance and TRASHES Twilight's house and makes dis sick ass musical number (props to his VA lol) and basically just begs for free shit, and Twilight who has the patience of a saint gives it to him. He then tells them the only way to cure him is if they climb dis bigass mountain and grab a flower with magical petals. They go out of they're way to do so bc they want dis manbaby to stop wasting all their time, but whoodie fuckin doo, the plant turns out to be a monster and we get dis epic fight scene with twilight and Candance.

They end up getting the petal, but then they find out discord wasn't even sick in the first place and was faking it because he's a grown ass adult and definitely not an immature little pos, but then he gets his karma and actually DOES get sick, and blah blah blah idfk wat the lesson even was.

What I think bothered me the most was the fact discord wasted twi&Candance whole entire day, got applejack and rarity sick, and still got nursed back to health in the end?? (ME PERSONALLY I wuld have thrown him down the deepest ditch and watch him slowly decay..) and then fluttershy BABIES HIM at the very end when applejack and rarity ARE RIGHTFULLY MAD AT HIM. She goes, and I quote "Now now, he's had enough, he's learned his lesson already, isn't that right my little patient? ^w^" LIKE I'M SORRY??? IS HE TWO YEARS OLD???? Learned his lesson my ass, hell continue to keep fucking up bcuz he knows hell always get away with it punishment free (foreshadowung to season 9 finale..) and also dats just so inconsiderate to invalidate ur friends feelings when they have every right to be upset at ur fuckass boyfriend fluttershy wtf

This falls into my second point, but it's the fact dat discord also ruins part of fluttershy's character for me. The main reason why he likes her so much is because he knows shell baby him FOR EVERYTHING and will always take his side over her friends sides, he's a petulant toddler and fluttershy enables his pos actions because "oh but he's learning!!! I know he called all of u guys slurs but he's learning friendship!!!" IS SUCH A LOUSY FUCKING EXCUSE

"oh but he's chaotic and if he tries to be normal hell fade away" #1 he needs to fade away faster then #2 he has his own little chaos realm where he can go be chaotic in there, why tf can't he just leave the mane 6 alone and be a menace over there??

Not to mention dis man has betrayed the mane 6 twice already, first teaming up with Tirek and ONLY apologizing when he loses all his power to him, and THEN PUTTING TOGETHER 3 INSANELY STRONG VILLAINS TO PLOT AGAINST EQUESTRIA for a GOOD CAUSE???? I will admit, the second one was mainly due to season 9 just having terrible writing in general, BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW TF A DUDE WHO PUT EQUESTRIA IN DANGER MULTIPLE TIMES BECAUSE HE WAS FUCKING BORED GOT REDEEMED, BUT A 12 YEAR OLD LITTLE GIRL WAS THROWN INTO PONY HELL AND PUT TO STONE FOR ETERNITY, HOW DA FUK DOES DAT MAKE ANY SENSE! 1?1!2!

but im going off topic, the main reason why I strongly dislike discord is because he's supposed to be a "redeemed character" who's "changed" however he's still a little asshole and never takes accountability for his actions and reminds me of fucking Caillou, dat stupid annoying bald brat is HIM in another universe u cannot change my mind.

But anywah I need to sleep noa dis is all jus my opinion don't be personally offended ;-;

Also

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

no way you hate Regulus but ship Sirius with literally Barty crouch jr and Evan rosier 😭 that makes no sense they’re both death eaters

i dont hate regulus !!! not canonically ! i have very deep feelings about regulus canonically, i dont love him i dont really even like him but i appreciate him. the fleshed out regulus in my brain i love like a little brother. i love making fun of regulus, but i dont hate him.

fanon regulus is what i hate. he makes me cry. the one that has sirius' canonical traits and then exaggerates them , i see that a lot because i consume marauders content through either tiktok, pinterest (marauders tweets/incorrect quotes) or tumblr (incorrect quotes - but i dont see a lot of that here bc filters and stuff). i dont read a lot of ao3 which i know is like the !thing! for characterization but like....... i just cant......... sorry........

uh so yeah. for barty and evan !!!

uh i hate them both naturally . regulus has a half-assed redemption that can be fleshed out well, but b&e dont and commit heinous crimes !!!

i ship them w sirius either in au-s or , like on my blog, very toxic-ly?

like ,,, they arent shown to be good people? i think ive only made a handful of b&e(&s) posts here and i dont think i ever show them to be like . idk . good? i think? i hate them, but i think they're interesting characters (barty is, evan is fandom oc like a bunch of marauders era chars). similarly - im not a fan of regulus but i think he deserves to be fleshed out !!

i HATE fanon regulus though. asshole regulus is something i will NEVER understand. i want to beat him in the head with a bat GOD

but uhh yeah

i hope this is alr <3

[gringolet]

would you mind sharing ur thoughts about agravaine and lamorak. please. i need to know

god the idea of shipping them (i know its odd to use that term for medieval literature characters but lets be real im not better than some weeb just bc my fandom thoughts are channeled into manuscripts) emerged from a joke discussion on a (i believe now defunct?) arthuriana discord server so what the original justification for it was i don't know but it's so cemented in my brain that it makes sense to me. the thing is conceptually it's really funny but its also quite fucked up and weird and sad, which is like the sweet spot to me

i think both characters occupy an interesting place in the like social makeup of camelot; lamorak is a successful knight and well liked but he doesn't seem especially popular, if that makes sense? like in the morte he's alone usually, or hanging out with tristan and his coterie. he also seems to be kind of a loud asshole. theres a bit in the morte where morgan sends this maguffin that reveals affairs to camelot via him, and, as a joke, he redirects it to tintagel to fuck over tristan instead. which is a kind of intense prank to play on your friend who is having an affair with the queen but okay man.

who else is kind of an asshole with no friends? thats right, agravaine (sorry agravaine). joking aside tho per the vulgate agravaine is also kind of abrasive and rude but in a witty, funny way (one of the only good traits it grants him is a quote quick tongue) . i feel like they would sit in the corner at feasts talking shit about people. also theyre both second sons w shitty ass dads, but lamorak actually does what agravaine never could and outstrips his older brother in terms of fame and accomplishment. the foils of it all. i think they can snipe at each other and lamorak is like haha fun playful flirtacious banter w my buddy agravaine and agravaine is like my fucking mortal enemy lamorak has insulted me yet again i need to strangle him to death (sexual)

it kind of fits that shitty loser vibe for lamorak to then sleep with his mom (im so sorry to say this but. eve sedgwick triangulation of desire).

what a strange, darkly funny, cringefail loserboy little doomed romance for agravaine. does that not fit his whole deal? i think agravaine deserves a boyfriend, but like, not a good one you know.

also the morte at one point deliberately parallels lamorak and lancelot and im sure you are aware with my theories vis a vis agravaines weird obsessive hate-crush on lancelot

[melloneah]

this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3

🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩

EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 

answered here :333

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)

yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss

@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333

@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333

ILYSM BESTIESSSS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches

from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......

something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!

RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF

[thewritcrinme]

The w o r d s m i t h knows that the pen is mightier than the sword, for it shapes minds and moves hearts. -- ChatGPT (bc I couldnt find a good quote so chatty helped me out here)

Lila Pitts blog (small hiatus) || Billy Hargrove blog ||

Some rules:

I'm 30+ working full time and being a full time single parent. I am constantly stressed and I just want to write to have fun and unload my stress. I was going to do a fancy google docs for my muses, but it just didn't work out. But short and sweet:

Be 21+ to interact. Just have fun. I love MxM ships, they're my comfort ships. I ship all my peeps with chemistry and the whole purpose for plots is to end up shipping romantically. If you're not cool with that, no worries I won't force you. I'm just a huge shipwhore.

My writing will involve dark themes - please be wary of that. I don't tag anything either so im sorry. Again, I just want to have fun. Writing is supposed to be for fun. I hope we get to write/plot/brainstorm.

Canon and OC muses under the cut. I need to work on them, but for now just have a short list to see who i'm planning on bringing in.

Merlin - Immortal- Pansexual - Verse dependent .

Powerful Warlock The last Dragonlord **Because he's immortal, I can fit him into any verse. In modern times, I have it that he's a professor teaching History. I am so prepared for reincarnation plots, or even normal professor x student plots if you're into that trope.

Killian Jones - 40 - Bisexual - Verse dependent.

Known as 'Captain Hook' in all the fairy tales. Wasn't born a villain. Abandoned by both his parents. Hell bent on revenge for 200 years and because of that magic, he has kept his youthful appearance.

He'd fit into any verse, be it modern or fantasy. He's a pirate from a fairy tale.

Leopold Fitz - 35 - Bisexual - Verse dependent

-Smartest man ever. Or at least on AoS. -Genius engineer, part of S.H.I.E.L.D. at the Sci-Tech department. -Sarcasm and wit makes up for the lack of muscles, but he's a fighter and will fight to protect his friends and family. Had an abusive dad and a mother who wasn't always there. Grew up to be one of the brightest minds.

Can fit into any fandom - supernatural or normal.

James Beaufort - 23 - Pansexual - Verse dependent

Trust fund baby with a bit of arrogance. However it only comes from the fact that he hides the abuse he endures from his father.

sports and partying, a way he tends to spend his time when he doesn't want to be home.

Nothing that money can't buy; He's a smartass, but once you get through that exterior of arrogance and narcissim, you'll see he's just a kid trying not to anger daddy who will hurt his mother as a way to hurt him.

college/small town plots as well as enemies to lovers trope for this babe? yes?

Wynonna Earp - 40 - Pansexual - Hunter- Verse dependent

Literally the female version of Dean Winchester. Except she protects the Ghost Triangle which she calls home from all Supernatural beings. Has a child, who she had to give away to protect her from the Earp curse. Stays behind to help the sheriff protect her home. loves and cares for her sister dearly, and truly just needs a happy ending for herself but she believes she doesn't deserve it.

Supernatural plots for sure !

Dean Winchester - 40- homosexual - Hunter - Verse dependent.

The ending we all saw didn't happen. Dean and Sam grow up to be old and continue hunting with Castiel as their guardian angel. However, in my verses, he's alive and doing well. Just like wynonna earp, his job is to protect people he cares about and write his own damn ending. Not the one that was written for him.

Supernatural plots for sure, crossover with everyone as long as he gets to be his pie-lovin' monster killin, sarcastic, witty self.

Judith Grimes - 18 - IMPORTANT - she is too young for anything NSFW however I chose to write her simply because I wanted the Grimes family legend to go on. Warrior, fighter, kick ass walker hunter out there to save the world. Verse dependent, will need heavy plotting if things were to get serious in a romantic type of way. Simply bc this teenage girl is out there trying to live as opposed to finding love. So plotting is a must!

Rhiannon Lewis - 28 - Pansexual - contemplating using her or Olivia Cooke-

Sweet serial killer. That's it. That's the plot. I love all the slasher writers coming around. We can do so much murder-esque writing. But I'd love to do something cannon. Someone be AJ to my Rhiannon?

Sam Carpenter (Loomis) - Melissa Barrera - 28 - Scream franchise.

You all, the plots and AUs we can do with Sam. Please let me know if you'd like to plot anything out. Basically the daughter of the notorious serial killer Billy Loomis. Haunted by her father's past.

Ace Hardy - 29 - Nancy Drew fandom- Alex Saxon FC- verse dependent, more on him soon

Veronica Mars - 40 - Kristen Bell FC -Private Eye- verse dependent

Can we pretend that thing didn't happen at all? We know what i'm talking about, right?

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS

Avery Thomson - Saoirse Ronan FC- 30 - Pansexual

-Girl likes peace. She is shy, she is insecure, she is lonely, but at times she doesn't mind it. She's awkward, but she has great ideas she'd love to let out. Yet no finance to invest in any ideas, so she started a podcast. Works as a secretary for a big company on the weekdays and then works on her podcast during the weekends. She's just waiting for a bit of excitement in her life.

open to any plots really!

Michael Wilson - Andrew Garfield FC- Professor of History- 40

Quiet, shy, but very hard working. Teaches History, loves history, basically a history nerd. Which is why it can open up possibilities to supernatural plots or just rom-com plots.

Damian Miller- 52- CEO-Wentworth Miller FC- Homosexual

Hard working, grew up to provide, but he's always been empty. Very old school and traditional, but that's because he has never found a reason to break the rules.

I'm thinking a tragic trope for him, being a closeted gay who could never fight for the man he loved so he ended up marrying the woman his parents chose. Had 2 children with her, and yet he's never been at peace. He's also my oldest muse if you were interested.

age gap trope/ boss/employee trope honestly whatever you'd like.

Blake Hawthorne- Pansexual- 24-Tom Blythe FC

Troublemaker. Gotten arrested a few times. Loves chaos, probably lands in trouble a lot but that's because he never had a secure homelife. parents were always gone and out of the picture so he had free reign to everything. Probably the type to join protests because he knows he'd get away with it. Freedom fighter for the under privileged which is ironic since he comes from a big family.

He'd be a fun muse. Any trope would do.

David Miller -Archie Renaux FC- 29- pan -

Manipulative little shit that causes too much mischief. The typical bad boy, wants things his way or no way. Overly confident, and thinks he's the best.

Under all of that is just a lot of insecurity. Literally tho open for any trope!

[chvoswxtch]

From one court to another court

I'm sooooooo happy for you! You deserve alllllllllll the follows (and likes and comments and reblogs)!!!

For your celebration, I would like to request a margarita with Matt that uses a similar theme to Meredith Grey's "pick me" speech from Grey's Anatomy. Not sure if you've seen it, but it's pretty angsty. The line can either come from Matt or reader. Direct quote below:

Okay, here it is. Your choice, it's simple, her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek, I love you. In a really, big really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your bedroom window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you... love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.

But for the love of all that's holy, it needs to have a happy ending 🤣

I love and appreciate you so much! Congratulations again!!!!!!!!

ahhh my lovely court!!!❤️

thank you so much, angel!! okay this is actually hilarious bc I was OBSESSED with grey's (like literally went into college as a premed bc I swore I was gonna be a surgeon) and meredith was always my favorite and the one I related to most.

i'm gonna make matty be the one to stand in the rain and pour his heart out dramatically bc he's a lil shit and I feel like he's gotten his fair share of love confessions and honestly it's his turn to beg. there is a lot of angst, but a happy, cheeky ending!

i love and appreciate YOU so much!!!! 🥂

blurb below the cut

pick me

pick me. choose me. love me.

Matt only had himself to blame for the jealousy coursing through his veins right now. He’d had his window with you. A long, six months to be exact, wide open window to confess how he really felt. There were several times along the way he almost did, when the truth nearly slipped past his lips almost as easily as his excuses for yet another superficial injury. When your hand slipped down his arm to tangle your fingers together as you languidly strolled behind Karen and Foggy down the busy streets of New York. When you leaned closer into his side as you sat together in one of the booths at Josie’s, even though you had plenty of room. When you pulled him into a quiet space to help him calm down, being able to tell when he was overstimulated just by a simple look on his face.

When he told you the truth and you didn’t yell at him. You didn’t call him a liar, or express betrayal through verbal daggers. You didn’t question the authenticity of his blindness with the revelation of his heightened senses. You didn’t walk out on him. You stayed. 

He should’ve told you that night. 

And even though he convinced himself it was safer for you if he kept his heart to himself, deep down he knew he was a coward. 

He was scared to lose you. He was afraid that he would push you too far, ask for too much patience, or break one too many promises that he wouldn’t be able to rectify with an apology and good intentions. He was terrified that he would lose you like he’d lost Elektra. He wasn’t sure what was worse; driving you to the point of resentment because of something inside himself he couldn’t tame, or that very thing tearing you away from him for good.

But neither of those things were as bad as having to endure you being happy with someone else.

Foggy had warned him from the beginning. He told Matt from the moment he met you that if he didn’t make a move, someone else was going to. Karen had cautioned him that you wouldn’t wait around forever. They were both exhausted with the drawn out pining between the two of you, secretly scheming to get one of you to cave and confess, until Matt had snuffed out that ember of hope entirely.

Karen had set you up with a coworker of hers with the intention of making Matt finally pull his head out of his ass, but when you had asked for his advice about the date, he’d told you to go.

What a fucking idiot he had been. A selfish part of him didn’t think you were going to actually enjoy yourself. He certainly didn’t think you would entertain a second date, or a third. Matt knew how you felt about him. He wasn’t stupid, and you weren’t subtle. Maybe he thought because you felt the exact same way about him, you wouldn’t actually move on.

Matt wasn’t bothered by the idea of you going on a date, but he was absolutely distraught over the reality of you being in a relationship with someone else. He was devastated by the fact that you had a boyfriend that wasn’t him. That someone else was holding your hand, making you laugh, kissing you. It made him nauseous to think of what else another man was doing to you.

He didn’t think it would last. He kept telling himself that any day now, the nightmare would be over. You would tell him that it was over, and he’d have you all to himself again.

But it had been two months, and Matt was getting nervous. What if you never broke up? What if you loved him? Did you love him more than you loved Matt? Would you marry him?

Fuck, he didn’t think he could handle that. That guy didn’t love you. Not like he did. No one could ever love you like him. No one could ever protect you as well as he could. No one was as right for you as he was. You were supposed to be with him. You were meant to be with him.

Matt gripped his cane so hard his knuckles turned white as your boyfriend placed his hand on your lower back and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He hated that you reacted at all to his touch. But a tiny flicker of hope ignited in his heart knowing that you didn’t react to your boyfriend’s touch like you did to his. He didn’t make you shiver. He didn’t make your heart race. He didn’t make heat spread across the tops of your cheeks.

Maybe he still had a chance.

The second your boyfriend excused himself to the bathroom, Matt was tossing his cane onto the nearest table and practically running towards you, gripping onto your wrist to drag you down the hall to an empty room that he barricaded the two of you in.

“Jesus Christ, Matt! What the hell? You nearly-”

“I lied.”

“What? What are you talking about? You haven’t spoken to me all night-”

“I didn’t want you to go on the date. I don’t want to just be your friend.”

Matt’s own heart rate began to accelerate hearing the way yours started to quickly pound in your chest like thunderous warnings in a stormy sky.

“Matt-”

“I love you.”

As a shaky breath escaped your mouth, Matt tore his glasses away from his face and clutched them tightly in his hand. You always told him you felt like he hid behind them, and he wanted you to be able to see the truth on his face. Taking a step back from him and placing your hand over your forehead, you closed your eyes for a moment as your hands began to tremble.

“Why are you doing this right now?”

“Because I lied to you, and I need you to know the truth.”

“Matthew-”

“Just…listen. Please.”

Matt took several steps forward until he was standing in front of you, swallowing thickly as his hazel eyes blankly stared in your direction, searching his brain for the correct formula of words that would fix his selfish mistake and make you his.

“Okay, here it is. Your choice? It’s simple. Him, or me. And I’m sure he’s really great, but sweetheart…I love you. In a…really…really…big…pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window way, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. Please…just…tell me I’m not too late.”

Matt tuned out every sound except for the roar of your heart thrashing in his ears, but it paled in volume compared to the silence that rang even louder. He detected a light layer of sweat forming along your hairline, and your nails were dug so deeply into your hands, he could almost feel the blood pushing against the taut, clammy skin of your palm. You exhaled through your nose in a jagged and swift pattern, and there was heat burning in your face, but Matt couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was from right now.

“S-Say something.”

“You’re fucking unbelieveable.”

Matt’s tongue darted out quickly to wet his lips as he shifted his weight onto his other foot, placing his hands on his waist while he cleared his throat and tilted his head in your direction.

“Say…something else.”

Throwing your hands up in defeat, you laughed humorlessly as you turned away from him.

“Six months, Matthew. I waited six months for you-”

“I know-”

“And God, I practically did everything but come right out and say I was in love with you-”

“I know, sweetheart-”

“And after everything, all those times you made me believe there was something more, like I wasn’t crazy and reading too much into things. You know, when you finally told me the truth I thought…I thought this is it. I thought that was the last thing holding you back from me but then-you told me to go out with him-”

“I was scared.”

Matt’s confession halted your furious pacing, and he suddenly felt nervous under the intensity of your unwavering gaze. Dipping his head between his shoulders, he let out a deep sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“People have gotten hurt…because of me. Because of who I really am. I lost-Elektra died in my arms. Twice. I thought…I thought I was protecting you. I thought not being with me…was what was best for you. But…I can’t do it. I thought I could, but I was wrong. I can’t…you can’t be with him. You don’t belong with him, sweetheart. You belong with me.”

“You are the most infuriating man I have ever met in my life.”

The anger had dissipated from your voice, but your heart’s rhythm never faltered, and a melancholic smile glossed over Matt’s lips.

“I know. You still love me?”

An exaggerated sigh flew past your lips as you settled your hands on your hips, shaking your head slowly while staring up at him.

“Well someone has to.”

Matt’s lips parted slightly, and his face morphed into an expression of anticipation feeling the edge of your mouth quirk upwards slowly. He took a cautious step forward, reaching out a hand for yours as an excited grin threatened to take over his entire mouth.

“So…it…it’s me?”

“You know for an Ivy League graduate, you’re not very bright. It’s always been you, Matty.”

The smile that stretched open Matt’s mouth would’ve made you think he had just won a contest, and he didn’t hesitate to rush forward to grab your face in his hands, pulling you in for a long overdue kiss that had you both sighing in content against each other's lips. 

“Shit.”

“What?”

“I…I have to tell him.”

Matt’s lips pulled into a mischievous smirk as he wrapped his arm tightly around your waist, pulling you closer into his chest as he nudged his nose against yours.

“Can I tell him?”

“Matthew!”

“What?”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“I’d let him down gently.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

Matt snickered as he lifted his brows slightly in agreement, leaning in to seek out your lips for another greedy kiss.

“No I wouldn’t.”

[soggedboytroutanti]

Paul Matthews Headcanon #2

Hes agender, biromantic, and demisexual! Sorry, but that man is so queer. Im looking at you, partner quote from What Do You Want, Paul? Also he's the guy who doesnt like musicals, and the guy who doesnt like gender. That man would absolutely go on tangents about how dumb and made up gender is to Emma. I think she'd end up also being a gender anarchist. I think he could convert her. Anyways he uses he/him bc thats what people assume but really he doesnt care. Also hes a malewife literally. He loves when Emma calls him her wife.

I also think he fucks around with gender presentation. I have so many thoughts about this. Like I can see so many outfits so vividly and I might draw them. Baggy leather jacket, white tee, jeans. Turtlenecks. Slutty ass v necks. Crop tops. There is so much potential here and i *need* to see him in casual attire. I just think he deserves to be a little bit of a whore, okay?

He wears makeup and nail polish sometimes, but mainly doesnt because of how much effort it takes. He just wants to stick it to homophobes, sometimes, yk? Esp like when dressing up on dates with Emma.

Also I keep picturing him with like smallish rectangle shaped reading glasses because his vision is usually fine enough but he cant see well up close when reading. They have thin gold frames! Emma loves how he looks in them but I dont think she mentions it. I could talk about this shit for hours

[apamates]

Realm of the elderlings ask meme thing

Thanks for tagging me @khutsydoh !! I love thinking about my favorite wet dog of a man

Favourite Rote book: Fool's Errand

Why: I'm a romantic at heart, ngl. The domestic bliss, walks on the beach, late night talks sipping brandy by the fireplace, the Fool reading everything Fitz had written (!!!!! I can't think too much about that one without wanting to explode), Fitz getting every surface of his house lovingly carved by the Fool... Just the truly incredible way Fitz described that bubble of happiness and feeling whole (even if he was still forged!!!) just because the Fool was there with him and Nighteyes. I love it when a character is the most repressed being ever and the love still bursts through because it's just that strong.

After every awful thing that happened in Ass Quest, I definitely think Fitz deserved a time away from the Farseers to rest and find himself outside of all the roles he had to perform for the crown. Though, 15 years in nearly complete isolation except for Hap and Starling are a strech, he really was running away from life like the Fool said. Him coming back to Buckkeep and facing all the people from his childhood as an adult felt so amazing to read. I personally feel a lot for Fitz and his complicated relationships with his family. For him to meet Chade honestly and make him see how much he hurt him was !!!! Him hating Dutiful at first just bc he saw so much of himself as a kid in him and tbf Dutiful is a tangible reminder of all the trauma from his teenager years, so Fitz having to process all that was exquisite too.

Funniest mission ever to have to find a teenager that's unknowingly horny for a cat, but the Fool and Fitz can turn it into a secret identity rom com and I ate it up!!! Happiest book of the trilogy for me and it's because Fitz was happy to be near the Fool.

Top three favourite characters: Beloved in all their facets, Patience, Ronica

Top three least favourite characters: Regal, the Satrap, Civil

Favourite ship of the floating kind: Ophelia bc she's an agent of chaos

Top 3 ships of the people kind: Fitzloved, Althea and Jek (Robin Hobb really missed so much potential), Patience and Lacey

Would you rather be witted or skilled: Skilled

If you were witted, what animal would you bond with: Probably my cat bc we already spend nearly every hour of the day together.

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six duchies, Bingtown, the Rain wilds, Kelsingra, Jamailia, the Pirate isles or Mercenia/Fool's homeland?: I haven't read the Fitz and The Fool trilogy so idk if I'd like Kelsingra but the Six Duchies seem like the better option just because I hate stuffy society and the cold, which rules out all others.

How were you introduced to the books: I love Chihayafuru and a wonderful artist I followed for that fandom posts about ROTE. I got the sense I would love to suffer about it and asked about the right order to read the books, thank you @leafykat !!!

Share a quote you love:

As I entered to set the pack on my table, the wolf was sprawled before the fire drying his damp fur and the Fool was stepping around him to set a kettle on the hook. I blinked my eyes, and for an instant I was back in the Fool’s hut in the Mountains, healing from my old injury while he stood between the world and me that I might rest. Then as now he created reality around himself, bringing order and peace to a small island of warm firelight and the simple smell of hearth bread cooking. He swung his pale eyes to meet mine, the gold of them mirroring the firelight. Light ran up his cheekbones and dwindled as it merged with his hair. I gave my head a small shake. “In the space of a sundown, you show me the wide world from a horse’s back, and the soul of the world within my own walls.” “Oh, my friend,” he said quietly. No more than that needed to be said. We are whole. - Fool's Errand

Sometimes a family is just two guys and their matchmaker wolf y'know

Tagging: @yevrosima-the-third @mistninja @leafykat

[hexite-nightmares]

‘ The comments are complaining and saying that changing viktors hc ethnicity and language from Czech to anything else in Eastern Europe is comparable to making canonically black characters white. ‘

It’s not about ‘god forbid one headcanons him anything other than Czech’. It’s specifically about not headcanoning him Russian. Like for gods sake pleaseee let other slavic ppl have him. Russian representation is everywhere, any character with a hint of eastern Europe in their voice automatically gets the ‘He’s russian!!’ treatment. The VA confirming that his inspiration behind the voice had nothing to do with Russia means a lot to us. Like please stop that, we literally welcome any other slavic Viktor headcanon but that one 🙏🏻🙏🏻 And ofc it’s not comparable to that but it’s still weird af because why are we claiming that a character whose people are literally oppressed is from this imperialistic ass country in modern aus 🙏🏻 Makes zero sense

I think you’re misinterpreting that post quite a bit because nowhere I’m saying that certain ethnicities can’t have him or that he’s only Russian. I’m not generalizing I am talking about a very specific video where people were complaining about the nickname “vitya” and other Slav ethnicity hcs in the comments too. You chose a weird part to quote bc the comment comparing it to racial issues was indeed there I didn’t make it up and it is not a comparable situation at all in my eyes.

Theres Arcane Viktor fan created content that’s been out for years. Stuff made before this discussion is being had is being touted as bad just because it has “vitya” in it. I’m not screaming he’s exclusively Russian ffs the country doesn’t exist in runeterra at all, but the nickname is not just in modern aus and it’s going to be in a lot of fics. He was also a Cold War caricature for more than a decade, people were going to use that for reference and a good bulk of the wikis are going to have that. Though like someone else pointed in my comments if we’re gonna go by the initial inspiration which was Nikola Tesla he could even be considered to be Serbian.

The accent being described as czech by Harry was awesome and it gave the character so much specificity, but tbh, him saying he changes it how he pleases and feels in the moment is an issue with Runeterra lore being extremely vague and generalized, which I’m not a fan of we deserve specificity I think.

I hope you don’t feel like I’m saying he can’t be Czech or that I only support Russian hc. it’s the animosity towards already existing fan creations and assumed malice that I’m not happy with.