#depression cured for the time being!!!!!
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bought a new melody today <3 i ❤️ her already
#delete later#bom posts#my melody#dont mind the mess .. im opening all my lewis merch that Also arrived today ^^#depression cured for the time being!!!!!#if anyones interested in seeing my sanrio collection id love to gush abt it :’D
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i'm incorporating it into my worldview that: during solas' brief Depression Quest in dai after having to kill wisdom (the last remaining entity in thedas who had remembered him in arlathan), he also took a detour to to wherever he killed felassan (the second last remaining entity in thedas who had remembered him in arlathan). just to round out visiting all the Dead Friends He Had Killed Quest Markers.
#dragon age#felassan#solas#it would match with how he admits to being unsure if he even wanted to come back to skyhold#which is fine to say for an Average Apostate who might just be sad#but#actually a bizarre thought process#for someone who needed to get his orb back and had his whole elaborate trolley problem scheme going on#''if i had a nickel every time i killed one of my only remaining besties in the past year. i would have two nickels. and depression.''#''what if i [remembers uthenera jokes are bad for his mental health] turned into a wolf for like 10 years''#<- solas#also i personally think that it is way funnier if he goes and is like#''ah... there isn't even a corpse to bury... damn... RIP. i will sunk cost fallacy even more in your honour 😔🥚''#and meanwhile felassan is just lurking around tranquil and comes in with a steel chair whenever he's cured
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This boomer opinion that "my kids deserve no inheritance, I'm going to spend it all on jetskis and cruises, they should just work hard like I did uwu" is so funny to me because this is the same generation who'll constantly berate the childfree about "leaving behind a legacy" and it turns out the legacy these boomers are leaving behind is their children struggling with lifelong poverty during the worst financial times since The Great Depression, something that their own parents went through and subsequently left these boomers an inheritance so as to avoid.
#and this whole “my kids should just work hard like I did” thing is also pretty funny#bc the statistics literally show every generation since the boomers has worked harder than the previous#but with no increase in wages#boomers didn't work hard to accumulate their wealth#they accumulated wealth by being born in the wealthiest time in recorded history#do boomers really think they worked harder than their own parents who survived The Great Depression?#the silent generation really was the best imo#they actually did struggle like millenials struggle today#& when they did pull themselves up by the bootstraps they left their boomer kids an inheritance to ensure they'd never struggle with poverty#the silent gen really did protect boomers from hardship so thoroughly these ingrates don't even understand what poverty is#they don't even recognise the legacy their own parents left them to protect them from poverty#they're willing to destroy their own parents' legacy and throw their kids into the fire#all because they don't recognise the privilege of living through the easiest financial time in history#the poverty of their day probably could be cured with a job flipping burgers#so they think that's still the case#they have no idea what their own parents protected them from and what they're obliviously throwing their own children into#childfree#anti natalism
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The Minecraft movie was amazing 😭 It was the serotonin boost I needed.
#minecraft#minecraft movie#the entire theater clapping at the end was *chefs kiss*#depression is cured#(not rlly lmao but still)#the villagers were perfection#i love the noises they make#jennifer coolidge being in the movie made it 100 times better 😂
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anyone else up feeling like they’ll never have a place in this world
#i just need to 1. get over all my insecurities and fears and brave social interaction esp with people i already know#2. make more friends especially irl#3. probably talk to and get closer to more family because the only person i really have is my dad#4. not feel tired all the time#5. not be in pain all the time#6. somehow get my body back to functioning levels#7. stop being afraid of everything#8. learn to drive#9. somehow get a job despite everything#10. somehow pay off my debt and go back to college#11. figure out what i want to do with my life#12. this should probably be step 1. i need to start feeling alive again#13. not die probably#how it feels knowing that my depression would be so much more manageable if i wasn’t so lonely#my new therapist said my depression is moderately severe 😁 which is honestly not that bad#when i went in for my first round of therapy my anxiety was rated severe. but now it is moderate!#so maybe my new therapist will cure me#and by cure me i mean teach me how to cure myself#the problem is that it’s so hard to want to cure yourself when life doesn’t seem worth living anyways#like what am i even alive for#my ocs. media. chocolate cake. food in general. seeing animals. petting my cat#see there’s stuff to be alive for but i feel so disconnected from everything lately that like idk#it’s like it’s not really me who’s enjoying these things that i(TM) enjoy#i’m so happy for my friends and proud of them for being in college#but boy oh boy have i faltered severely without them#guy who needs to get out more but cannot get out alone and has no one to get out with anymore#i really took all those moments of waiting outside of high school to get picked up and talking for granted#it’s kinda humiliating to say that the best year of my life was my freshman year of high school#but it was. it really was. wistful sigh#i was so happy
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Hypothetically should I play p3 reload with the femc mod like does anyone know if it’s good? It certainly LOOKS good but I wanna know if it’s essentially just portable with good visuals or if it’s reload but with kotone instead cuz if it’s the latter I am not interested
#persona 3#kotone shiomi#this is very serious!#i mean this is all hypothetical like if i just magically had the money to spare lol#but what i would want is the same social links from portable like i know ones like saori and rio are in it#but what about like the male social links and then the female party members but with kotones version#like for example fuukas link is completely different as kotone and id much prefer that version#and i really dont want the male characters to be like. akihikos god awful linked episode but with kotone instead#i want his actual social link and characterization#if i have to play his linked episodes i will be enraged i tell youENRAGED#also like if the coma route isnt there thats a dealbreaker for me lol#its conflicting cuz i mean visually speaking everything looks SOOOOO good amazing i wanna cry#but if i cant have the version of the characters im looking for then i dont wanna be involved#dont wanna waste my money or time#also this isnt me trying to shit on the mod if it does end up being not what im looking for#cuz god it looks so good and mustve taken a lot of work and im so glad it exists it means a lot#i saw footage of her all out attack animation it cured my depression like#the way she’s sticking her tongue out and the little giggle she does its absolutely perfect#and the character animation for her is soooo charming like the way she runs and the little stretches she does and how bouncy she is#very expressive very cute very loved and cared about#oh also if anyone actually does see this with advice i also literally dont care if theres typos or weird voice acting fuckups or animation#errors you can expect in a mod that doesnt matter in the slightest like im a portable stan so ill literally be happy with anything#in terms of quality
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would it be ok to ask to be cheered up a bit
#🥺#i hope there will come a time when this stops being disappointment after disappointment#because rn it feels like running into a wall at every turn#time to find and re-read that reddit post from the person saying finishing their phd and quitting academia cured their depression lmao#something to look forward to
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every day i weep for twn s1
#angel.txt#a rewatch would cure me but also depress me more bc we will Never get that vibe again#like. god the music? the costumes? the pacing? the editing?#genuinely unmatched#there is this aura of stillness and contemplation in so much of that season and everything afterwards just feels so#idk. breakneck. typical streaming tv nowadays.#i know the non-linear element would probably not have worked beyond that first season but everything else was so Good#these subtle parallels of each character's narrative being woven together so well as they slowly drifted closer to each other#the rewatch value *of* said non-linear narrative style#like god the amount of times i went back to s1 to pick up on new little nuances and go !!!!!#never wanted to do that for s2 or s3 cause it truly just does not feel like there's anything there to pick up on#they are good seasons but god nothing compares to s1. i miss her. i will always live there
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I've spent every bit of free time I've had in the last month reading about my special guys, and I've noticed some patterns here 😂 no complaints tho, it gets me every time.
#codywan fics slap my ass and cure my depression#and then sometimes give the depression bacm but its ok#this was inspired by a hilarious meme i saw that was like#every codywan fic ever: followed by an impersonation of cody telling obi wan he has nightmares and being invited into his tent#'permission to kiss you sir?'#'👁️👄👁️ permission granted'#it was gold i watched it like 10 times
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if i pass and get my license thursday and once i acquire the giramobile we'll be so back
#being able to drive freely probably won't cure my chronic depression but i'll definitely be less miserable all the time if i can actually#get out of the house to go places besides work#talkin
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coming up on 3 years since I’ve seen anyone I went to high school with, felling #blessed
#mp.txt#thinking back to that time I was in a depression era during the last year of high school#which turned into a neet phase after graduating that I only got out of bc my aunt forced me into employment#I’m glad she did bc I was going nowhere fast and I would of spent a lot of time just wallowing in my own misery if left to myself#it does sound funny when I type it out bc I basically saying that getting a job and being a functional member of society cured my depression#I mean it kind of did but that was mostly the money and getting to spend time around ppl I could actually stand to be around#and I actually had to grow a back bone and do things#I’ve come along way and I’m proud of that
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vent tw, if you have depression please please just dont interact-
#ok so. to preface this for anyone with depression going past this point. im not gonna be nice. this isnt about you#this isnt about you in particular or how your secretly constantly a burden to everyone you love or how you just cant get it right#its not about having to deal with a person with depression but more how the social climate has made it so its so hard to deal with every#thing. thats all. if you read more do not blame me for feeling bad.#that was your only and last warning#okay so! now that hopefully all my homies with depression out there are ok- it is hard being surrounded by people with depression#sorry like. i am the only one in my imediate family without depression. and its. its hard a lot#like i care so much about these people and yet i cant help them because their either sad or tired or angry or numb most of the time#and i cant do anything. i cant do anything at all. and thats fucked!!!!! i think. sorry i am not one for curing mental illness but i really#really wish there was just a cure for depression so the people i care about could be happy and have energy and be ok#i dont want to constantly worry in the back of my head if what ill say next will lead them to going quiet and sad#or worry about how a few too many wrong moves and a hard time could push them off the edge. i know it wont happen.#but i worry about it constantly especially with the political climate#and i care for them so much and i just wish they could feel happy most of the time. just more than half is enough. more than half#gosh its gotten to the point a sertain tone of voice or someone saying their tired can make me feel bad#like bad enough i need to leave the room and go cry. everyone is alwase tired and i dont know what to do#i feel like a little kid being so sensitive by others emotions- but i cant help it. i cant help it when im surrounded#again this isnt a bash against anyone with depression. this is a bash against depression because of all the pain its given my loved ones#if i could fight depression as a just. thing i would mawl it alive. tooth and nail til all that was left was either bones. cartalige.#blood and flesh that hadent somehow made it into my stomach. and id keep it alive for a long as i could as i killed it#it would suffer 10 times the amount its made others suffer if i could. i can be a cruel bitch and i will if i ever got the chance.#and u h ya! sorry lil bit of silly moment i am just. sick of the tired. if i could id honestly never hear the phrase im tired again
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thinking about colorado again send help
#for those who don’t know both sides of my family are from there and it’s where i grew up#but since moving to az 11 years ago i’ve only gotten to go back 3 times which is so sad#we went in june for the first time since 2018 and it was so great but so sad bc it just made me miss living there even more#like i spent half the trip just dreading having to come home and missing colorado while i was still there#and we were only there for a week but just being there made me feel more like myself than i have in years#and a few weeks after we got back my mom said something about how happy i seemed there and how she wishes she could see that girl more often#and like fuck that’s hitting me so hard rn#like it’s one thing to feel that myself but it’s another for someone else to comment on it like i didn’t realize she noticed it too#anyway idk where i’m going with this i just miss it so bad and if i had the money i would drop everything in my current life to move back#obviously moving wouldn’t magically cure my depression or anything but i do genuinely believe i’d be so much happier there#can’t even afford to move out of my moms house at the moment though so here i am#lj.txt
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while i’m sharing my lamest opinions i’m not crazy about “cunty” even though it does make me laugh. at the end of the day i don’t like being called a cunt even playfully.
#i’m on new medicine and this is one of the side effects#<- not joking! i started this and was like. i actually do hate being called a bitch and a cunt.#i also experienced road rage for the first time in my life so now i need to sort THAT out#stimulants are unironically curing my depression but also giving me access to rage that i suspect has been suppressed since i was like…#i don’t know. in middle school? i literally do not recall the last time i felt enraged prior to the last few months#it was always just defeat and grief instead. i think it’s an upgrade though. maybe a little cunty of me.
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Feeling Most Unwell
#i need to go lie face down in the grass or something#constant anxiety and stress and Bad and the only thing that holds it back rn is keeping myself so busy i dont have time to stop and think#and you know overworking myself into a depressive state bc i just simply cant lift a finger anymore#im doing too much but also its not enough!!!!! i need to be alone but also AAAAGHHHH the terrors. of being left with my thoughts for 5 min.#i need to climb a mountain i need to lay in bed i need to craft with my hands i need to find a creek to rest in i need to run in circles#i need i need i need#i need to talk to ppl i need to be alone i need to act like a human i need to be a plant i need to punch something i need to hug something#anyways can anyone cure my mood disorder im going insane for realsies
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