#depending on which hat he's wearing

[jochi-the-veristithaylen-baker]

Kelsier: *solves everything by killing noblemen*

Everyone on Scadrial: If only Kelsier was here, he'd have a great way to solve this problem.

Every nobleman on Roshar when they meet an assassin: I bet Kelsier planned this, it feels like something he'd do.

[senseichaos]

HEADCANNONS

Dating Lucifer

NSFW AND SFW

Protective. He's insecure, right? So I think he's probably protective in the way where if you're somewhere where he isn't he'd text you once every five minutes checking up on you and asking where you are. He really wants you to be safe, as well.

Clingy, he likes you to be around him for as long as possible. He also loves it when you're attached to his hip, it makes him feel loved and appreciated in a way he can't describe.

When he met you stopped wearing his wedding ring so you wouldn't assume he was still with Lilith. He wanted to make the best impression, of course.

Touchy, he will often randomly squeeze your thigh or ruffle your hair in a fatherly manor. Or sometimes he'll just give you a random peck on the lips if he feels like it.

Made you a duck that looks like him so you can have him with you wherever you go, he's sort of sentimental like that.

Of course, sentimental. He loves to give you random items or even just food that he thinks you'll like, and he'll usually make a big prideful scene if you do the same for him.

If you're taller than him during sex you always have to be below him, he likes to feel big and powerful during sex.

DADDY KINK OKAY I SAID IT. He adoores it when you call him daddy, he absolutely ADORES it. He can't even explain why, just that feeling he gets whenever you do is like nothing else.

Likes to praise more than degrade during sex, but if he's in a mood could very much degrade you.

Likes it when you wear his clothes, specifically his hat. He likes to see you wearing things of his especially when you're out so everyone knows you're with him. People don't tend to mess with you anyway cause you're with him a lot of the time.

_________

Relationship overview

Relationship health: 95/100 (he could work on his attachment and clinginess issues, but depending on the partner, clinginess could be good or bad)

Relationship affection: 100/100 (He is so cuddly! Loves to touch you all the time! If he could he'd have you attached to him so he could hug you all day)

Relationship sex: 85:100 (doesn't always have the time or stamina, he is the ruler of hell of course)

Relationship love: 100/100 (he looooooves you :3 (all I have to say))

Relationship strength: 85/100 (he often worries that you're going to leave him which does put some pressure on you a lot)

Relationship overview: 93/100 (genuinely a nice guy who can sometimes be misunderstood. But he always has the best intentions!

[farmerstarter]

The Bachelors and How They Sleep

hello lovelies! Have some more of my headcanons. These HCs are for a gn! reader. If you have any requests then feel free to send me an ask! Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated 🌷🤍

Alex:

🏈 Moves a lot during his sleep. But he doesn't outright punch you by accident. You always seem to end up being under him.

🏈 Mumbles a lot too. One time, you woke up to him counting to himself, just like how he counts his bicep curls.

🏈 Wakes up early, just a few moments before you. He says it's because he needs to exercise the first thing in the morning. But it's actually because he felt you move out of the bed and he doesn't like to be alone.

🏈 Gives you all the pillows to make you comfortable. He says it's important for your muscles to get a good night's rest. He ends up hogging the blankets.

Elliott:

🪶 Sleeps like a dead man. He doesn't move at all, save for the occasional turning to the side to snuggle against you.

🪶 It takes him a while to finally succumb to slumber. He says it's because he's used to listening to the waves of the beach to fall asleep.

🪶 Silk pajamas, the man has sets of them. He keeps his hair down while sleeping so you sometimes wake up to your whole face being covered by his locks.

🪶 He's a late riser, mostly because he sleeps late too. He tells you that he writes better at night and he doesn't allow himself to rest until he's finished writing one chapter at least.

Harvey:

🛩️ Sometimes, Harvey forgets to take off his glasses before he goes to bed. Which is why he has so many broken ones that he tries to hide from you by kicking them under the bed.

🛩️ Professional cuddler. He always makes sure you're in his arms or vice versa. He needs to touch you in order to get a good night's rest. Doesn't matter if you two are spooning or if it's just his hand on top of your arm.

🛩️ Snores a lot. Goes "hoooonk mimimimimi hoooonk mimimimi"

🛩️ I like to imagine him wearing those pajamas that's like just a long night gown and those floppy pointy hats. You know the one.

Sam:

🎸 Alex mumbles in his sleep, Sam straight up sings. Usually it's outbursts of the choruses of his songs, sometimes he'd hum the tune out. You have a video of him playing air drums while sleeping. You sent the video to Abigail and Sebastian, and they never let Sam hear the end of it.

🎸 He wakes up super late most of the time. But on the rare occasion where he doesn't, he cooks breakfast and serves it to you in bed. Complete with a flower in a vase and everything.

🎸 Always kisses you before he falls asleep. Straight up drags you to his side of the bed to peck your lips.

🎸 Would take off his shirt to put it on you. He says he doesn't want you getting cold at night and waves you off when you refuse, worried about his wellbeing. "I don'T gEt sicK eaSiLy, Babe," ends up in the clinic to get meds the next day.

Sebastian:

👾 It's my headcanons and I say he moves a LOT during his sleep. So much so that you end up on the floor when you wake up. He refuses to believe that he does that.

👾 His sleep schedule depends on you. He refuses to sleep unless you're already in the house. He doesn't like the feeling of sleeping when he doesn't know you're safe. You'll find him waiting for you on the porch.

👾 Prefers to sleep on the side of the bed where the sun doesn't shine.

👾 Immediately feels it when you get out of the bed. And he wakes up immediately, groggy and needing a few minutes to register where he is. Even if you're just going to get a glass of water, Sebastian would wake up and ask where you're going.

Shane:

🐣 This man says good night to all the chickens in your coop before he goes to bed, I decided.

🐣 He used to get little to no hours of sleep but after moving in with you, he tries to get enough sleep as possible.

🐣 Hugs you in his sleep, all the time.

🐣 He wakes up the same moment you do, sometimes earlier. He gave himself the job to take care of your farm animals so you don't have to work too hard. So he wakes early to get the job done as soon as possible to spend breakfast with you.

🐣 My brother in Yoba, he would wake up in the middle of the night to get a snack. You would sometimes catch him in the middle of drinking cows milk straight out of the bottle in front of the open fridge.

[redstarwriting]

pda/general affection hcs | i.

ft. hobie brown & miles morales

request?: yes

request: “Hiiii!!! I am absolutely IN LOVE with ur the clash series and I can't wait to see how it progresses!!! Could u do some pda/general affection hcs for the spider verse characters? I would love to see Miles and Hobie hcs but it's rlly up to whatever characters u would wanna write for. Endless thanks!!”

warnings:  language, cuteness, mentions of dying, mentions of injuries, mentions of throwing up, mentions of being overwhelmed

a/n: i love hcs lol this was actually how i first starting writing and it’s so fun bc i can be my sarcastic self without having to change any of it teehee, thank you for requesting anon! thinking of doing this for other characters to, what does everyone think?

i’ve made a pt ii. to this with gwen and pavitr if you wanna check it out!

───────────────────────────────────

hobie brown | spider-punk

pda

- he’s kind of a middle ground - not crazy about it - not against it at all - he just - hold onto your hats for this one - ✨he does what he wants✨ - ofc it also depends who’s company you’re in - if y’all are with Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr, he’s super comfortable and a part - of his body will always be touching yours - but it’s not like he’s goin out of his way to be like LOOK AT MY PARTNER - HOWEVER - if he’s ANYWHERE where there are authority figures? - *cough* miguel *cough* - he will just start to make out with you - LMAO - “Hobie, can you stop kissing your partner and listen to me.”   “No.”   “You’re aware of how rude you’re being?”   “Good.” - if you don’t like it ofc he won’t but he WILL be touchier with you in those moments - because it pisses people off - and he loves that - also if he felt threatened? - he’d probably get a little touchier than usual - but honestly he almost never feels threatened so who knows if you’d ever experience that - and if he did ever feel threatened he would feel better knowing that you always wear one of his studded bracelets - ppl will ask where you got it and you’ll be all - “Oh! My boyfriend Hobie!” - he loves seeing the hope drain out of anyone’s eyes when he appears behind you after that statement, he finds it so amusing every time - he’s only obsessed with a few things - like there is something he will ALWAYS do - he is OBSESSED and i mean OBSESSSSSEEDDD with having his hand in your back pocket - at all times - only if it isn’t around your shoulders (another obsession of his) - like y’all are going to one of his shows? - you enter with his hand in your back pocket - after gets offstage? - hand in back pocket - walking home? - hand in back pocket - sometimes y’all will walk instead of him picking you up and webbing back home JUST BECAUSE he wants to put his hand in your back pocket - he also LOVES using you as an armrest - if you’re short, he places his arm on your head like an armrest - if you’re average height, he’s still using your head as an armrest - if you’re tall or as tall as him he will climb a wall to use your head as an armrest - it gets you flustered and he thinks it’s adorable! - and eye contact? - he will keep his eyes trained on you at all times - he’s always looking at you - or else he’s looking for you - only looks away SOMETIMES when he’s talking to other people - “Hobie, I’m over here.”   “Yeah, I know.”   “So stop looking at them, I’m the one talking to you.”   “Yeah, but you ain’t the fittest person in the room so piss off, eh?” - that being said - there is something he just doesn’t do in public - he doesn’t hold hands - i do feel like he would hold pinkies with you upon request - but holding hands just isn’t his thing - in public👀

general affection

- THIS MAN HAS THE WORLD FOOLED - he acts all nonchalant about it - acts like he only does pda to go against societal rules - which he does BUT ALSO - he is so touchy - he isn’t clingy by any regard - but he LOVES being affectionate - just like the smallest things - every morning when y’all wake up in the same bed together and he wakes up before you (which is a lot bc he doesn’t sleep well) he will place a feather-light kiss somewhere on your face so he doesn’t wake you up - but like clockwork - he will do it - and after he will just lay there and hold you for a bit - even when during the night the two of you separate from each other he will always reach out for you during those times - and he will maneuver you back into his arms so he can just lay there with you for a bit - every time you ask him why he just tells you you make him a “bloody softie” - which yeah you do - but also - he gets scared when he comes home, you won’t be there - with his job that isn’t really a job and all, he gets so nervous that you’ll just be fed up with it and leave - or worse, you’ll be used as bait for him - bait which he would immediately take, of course - he even does it because he thinks about the possibility of him not coming home one day - and he wants you to feel like you were loved if that happens - he also just loves the little smile that comes to your face every morning - when you realize he’s done it again - and that is just ONE THING - he hates getting injured, but would lie if he said he hated getting patched up by you - when you’re cleaning his wounds with alcohol the two of you hold hands - he’ll squeeze when it stings and you’ll squeeze when you feel bad - so you’re kinda squeezing his hand the whole time - but you know how i said he doesn’t hold hands in public? - at home it’s a different story - watching tv? - hands are held - looking at the stars from the top of a building? - hands are held - throwing up after drinking too much? - hands are held - so is hair - and he rubs your back - you rub his - he adores back scratches (not when he’s throwing up just in general LMAO) - one thing he didn’t realize he loved so much until it happened was when he was sitting and playing his guitar on y’alls bed - just mindlessly finger picking some melodies - and you came up and sat behind him and put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his cheek and just - stayed there - it made him melt - he loves it so much - he especially loves it when you hum along - even if you can’t hold a tune - it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard he doesn’t care - you can expect him to be all over you the minute he gets back from being Spider-Punk - especially when he has a bad day - i could probably give more examples but this is already kinda long lmao oops

overall

- he LOVES affection - public and private - if he loves you, he’s gonna show it - he’s gonna scream it, literally and figuratively - everyone will know y’all are together - which he loves - but that’s not why he does it - he just loves you - and doesn’t care what other ppl think 🤭

miles morales | spider-man

pda

- omg this lil man is so awkward - i’m far older than him and he makes me think of how nervous and awkward i was at his age when it came to any type of romance - so i can see him being SO unintentionally awkward in public - he tries so hard to be cool - but omg - the tiniest thing will go wrong and he’ll go from 😏 to 😟 - everything is the end of the world until you assure him it isn’t - like the time he saw you outside around Brooklyn Visions Academy and thought it’d be so cute to go up behind you and cover your eyes and say “guess who :)” - except it wasn’t you - you were across the street and watched it all go down - he literally made eye contact with you the minute he tried to be cute - the HORROR on his face - he was immediately apologizing to the random person he just did that to - in the moment you were so confused - but when you and him were in his dorm and he was flailing his arms around -and yelling in lowercase explaining it? - oh my god - hilarious - he was all pouty when you started laughing so you had to attack his face with little kisses to make him cheer up - one would have done the trick but he was grateful for all of the ones you gave him regardless - or the time he went to wrap his arm around your waist during lunch because he wanted to be all cute in school and you turned around as soon as he put his arm out and tried to walk and his sturdiness and strength made you literally drop your lunch tray and the food went everywhere - and there you were again in his dorm as he was flailing his arms around and yelling in lowercase apologizing because you just got new shoes and he ruined it and— - shut him up with a kiss, would you? - a display of public affection that always happens though is you’re always in his jacket - to the point where he has two of the same jacket now so you guys can be twinning :,) - “Look, babe! Same jacket!”   “Oh my god wait! We’re gonna be so cute!”   “I know, right? Pretty smart and cute of me, huh?”   “Very smart and cute of you, Miles.” - he also loves to have his hand on top of yours whenever he can - he’ll do it in class - if y’all go out to eat - if he’s sketching and you’re next to him - and holding hands in public is a favorite of his - it’s very tiny things that he does because every time he tries something big something goes wrong - like opening a door for you and motioning you to go in before him - and always being ready to steady you if you would trip (which happens more than he thought it would) - and always fixing your necklace that he bought you for your birthday (with the help of Rio) when the little clasp comes down in the front - he’s constantly staring at you with a dopey grin on his face - literally will get called out in class because he’s just 👁👄👁 - and then he gets all flustered  - but the smile you get on your face letting him know you like him that much will relax him - will go from “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to draw attention to you!” to “yeah, you like that? imma do it more then.” - he’ll also pretend to drum on you with his pencils when you’re near him - especially if he has his headphones in - he likes to play this game where you guess which one of his songs he’s jamming out to - sometimes he says you got it right when you get it wrong just to see you get excited - and he doesn’t necessarily mean for this to be a public display of affection, - but his constant drawing of you is frequently watched by other classmates - the only person who has successfully seen his bold moves of affection is Ganke, and he pretends to gag every time lol

general affection

- he’s such an affectionate boy 🥹 - like i said, Ganke is the only one who successfully sees his physical affection plots work - he’s much smoother when people aren’t around - and yes, he has shown you the shoulder touch - you did it to him once and he short-circuited - i’m so serious he accidentally shocked you - but then he hugged and kissed you for like 40 minutes afterward cause he felt bad - so it wasn’t too bad of an experience - but when it comes to physical affection in private, he’s worlds better at it - any time he plays video games, whether that be with you or Ganke, he has his leg over top of yours - He loves watching movies with you where you lay your head on his lap and he just mindlessly draws little shapes on your shoulder - he also loves having you laying on top of him while y’all cuddle - it makes him feel safe (and he gets to steal soooo many kisses from you) - you’re kinda like his very own weighted blanket but not even because his spider strength makes you feel like a feather - but it’s also an easy way for him to keep a hold of you and feel like he’s protecting you - he also loves to take you web swinging - holding you super close and taking you to a tall building away from anyone who can see y’all - he loves that - sometimes he’ll have like a whole picnic type date set up and y’all will just have a cute lil date on the top of the one world trade center - he also loves having you over to his place - his parents love you - and you love them - they make him keep his door cracked when y’all are in there together but it’s mainly because they love to peek in and see their son so in love - Jefferson took like 74 pictures the first time he saw y’all napping together - And Rio took like 52 pictures when she caught the two of you on the roof of the building and he was playing you a playlist he made for you - he does that a lot but that was the first time Rio saw it - she was ecstatic lol - he occasionally will just poke you for no reason - and by occasionally i mean he does it constantly - “Miles? Why did you do that?”   “Do what?”   “I literally saw you poke me.”   “No, I didn’t”   “…”   “…”   “I did, you’re just so cute, I don’t know.” - he also loves drawing on your hand - the back of your hand has constant Miles doodles - sometimes it’s stuff like the two of your initals in a heart - sometimes it’s Spider-Man - sometimes it’s just whatever was on his mind - but you love your constant Miles hand drawings - and he feels like it’s some sort of way for other people to know you’re his - but when he does it it’s so cute - cause he’s so gentle - and no one is watching - but you’re sitting there and just smiling as he creates a work of art on your hand and the playlist he made full of songs that remind him of how you made him feel the first time he saw you is softly playing in the background - he calls them temporary tattoos and one day you’re going to actually get one of the doodles tattooed on you somewhere - he’ll probably have a heart attack from how much he loves it but hey that’s fine he’ll recover - speaking of he loves to draw with you - he doesn’t care about your skill level, he just loves to be creative with you - he also is very much all about making sure you’re eating - getting enough sleep - prioritizing yourself above everything else - and if anything is ever bothering you - he is There - he will always be there and it’s very comforting - he just wants you to be happy all the time and does his best to do so - and you feel the same - so any time the responsibility of Spider-Man is too much for him - or when his parents get on him because he’s hiding half of who he is - you’re there for him - often times after he comes home from a long day of Spider-Manning he’s the one who is being held, but you’re fine with that - cause he can be vulnerable with you and he needs it

overall

- Miles is getting the hang of being in a relationship - he really does love pda but is so bad at it lmao - when he gets better beware - you will be a melting mess in public all the time - but for right now it’s just behind the scenes where he’s able to show how he really feels - give him all the hugs he needs ‘em

[gatorbites-imagines]

I had this idea, because I was doing some crochet.

A reader who had made a lot of crochet stuff for all the X-MEN (most of it was requested from them to the reader) and Logan noticed everyone had something handmade except him. His bratty side kicks in and he wants something from the reader. (though the reader can make him a cardigan cause he is a grandpa or like a glove that has holes for his claws so he doesn't reap them apart) you can go feral with it 👀

Scott Summers, Kurt Wagner, Remy LeBeau, Robert “Bobby” Drake, Logan Howlett

Headcanons

Theres too many x-men, so I just,,,added my faves *blush blush* I also decided to write a little thing for everybody, like my CoD posts.

Crochet was your passion, something to do in your free time when mutant-kind wasn’t in danger. And with online shopping, it was so easy to get all the yarn and different hooks, patterns and recipes you might need.

So, of course you also feel the need to make stuff for all the people you care about. After filling your own room and wardrobe with all the stuff you could crochet, your yarn empire started to fill your friends closets and rooms too.

Scott Summers

For Scott you end up crocheting a couple of hats, and multiple pairs of gloves. Some you already had laying around, and just decided to throw into the pile.

What could you say? You were scared he was gonna freeze his ears when he went around in his visor. This meant you crocheted different hats depending on if he wore his visor or his shades, hats that wouldn’t get too in the way.

It was a little hard for Scott to be a leader in the colorful creations you made, but everyone knew it was just your way of showing you cared. So, it made sense for the leader of the team to get the first gifts.

After a while Scott will wear the things, you make even if it isn’t too cold outside, even working it into his everyday outfits if he needs a little bit of accessories. Sometimes a hat really helps with the look, you know?

Kurt Wagner

For Kurt you make a scarf. It was a crochet of the moment. You two were on a stakeout, which took way longer than planned, in a pretty cold place. So, you pulled out your crochet stuff and started going at it.

Before you knew it, there was a comfortable scarf in your hands. You had been smart enough to dress correctly for the mission, but Kurt hadn’t, so of course the scarf when around his neck. You may also have scolded him a bit for not dressing right for the mission.

Kurt absolutely loves the scarf, and will wear it whenever its even just a little chilly outside. It makes you want to make him even more, especially when he starts getting sad about the first one fraying apart.

In the end he has as many scarfs as Scott has hats. One for every weather, in different colors, so he can match them with whatever he’s wearing.

Remy LeBeau(and Anna Marie)

For Remy you end up making him a hoodie, in his usual colors. It had mainly been a spur of the moment creation on your end, since you just had a lot of yarn in that color laying around.

It hadn’t even really been made with Remy in mind, but our beloved Cajun was quick to swoop in and take it off your hands when you weren’t sure what to do with it. and you, just wanting to make stuff for others, are more than happy to let him.

He wouldn’t wear it every day, but you do see him snuggle up in the warm yarn hoodie whenever it starts to get chilly. Hes also more than happy to use it as an excuse to snuggle with Anna Marie, using it as some kind of silly flirt.

In the end you make Anna Marie a matching hoodie, making it a little too big for her, as well as making it the same colors as Remy, so they can switch hoodies whenever they want. Its kinda like getting to hug Remy, in a way, so Anna Marie enjoys it.

Robert “Bobby” Drake

You make Bobby a blanket, it’s as easy as that. You actually end up making him multiple blankets. You didn’t really have an understanding if his mutation made him even able to feel cold, or if it made him feel extra cold?

So, the first blanket was placed by the door to his room, since you didn’t wanna invade his privacy. Bobby may not feel cold, but he loves the blanket anyways, especially since you try your best to make it in his favorite colors, or featuring different stuff he likes.

Its actually Bobby that asks if you can make him a second blanket, since he needs to wash the first one and has gotten so used to having the heavy yarn blanket on top of his other blankets at night. And you, being the great person you are, immediately get to work.

He ends up with a bit of a collection of blankets over the years, though most of them stay in his closet since he can’t really use all of them at once. He does pull them out when the x-men are doing movie nights and stuff like that though.

Logan Howlett

It took a while for Logan to realize he was the only one who hadn’t been given anything you crocheted. And… He’s not mad obviously, why would he be, it’s just crochet. He’s maybe a little jealous though, somewhere under all that gruffness.

He wouldn’t say anything, Logans way too proud for that, but he does start hovering around a bit whenever you crochet, just to look… nothing else.

There are also of course some jokes from the others about how he hasn’t been given anything, so you must not like him, or it’s because he’s always coming and going as he pleases so he’s never there at the right time to swoop in for the kill (whatever you made).

Of course, he denies hating you, or wanting anything you make. But the jokes just reach you, and it horrifies you somewhat. What if Logan really thinks you hate him? That would be the worst, because of course you don’t. the only reason you hadn’t made anything for him was because he wasn’t in front of your face, and you were a little scatterbrained when you made stuff.

You didn’t want to be too obvious about your plans, so you try to subtly get his measurements, and just kinda go off of that. Luckily the x-men system has some stuff you can use noted down. In the end you make him a nice grey cardigan, with those big pockets on the sides. It does not go above your head that it’s the kinda stuff you’d see a grandpa wear. But you think he would like it anyway.

Logan finds the cardigan by his door, like you leave all your gifts. And no, he doesn’t jump up and down or cheer, but he does give a more positive sounding gruff noise than usual.

He may also have been preening just a little the next day when he wore it, just because it felt nice to be thought about, okay? Nothing else.

It also just makes you happy to see him enjoy it so much, so you end up making him some other stuff too. Who’d have thought he would love blankets and throwpillows so much. It ends up in his “not a nest” bed pile. He also enjoys the gloves with holes for his claws too, so they were worth all the hard work.

[matthewtkachuk]

last night (blame it on the vodka)

They say drunk words are sober thoughts, so what are drunken confessions of love?

pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader

warnings: a pinch of angst, swearing, alcohol (and its after effects - aka a fat hangover and a twinge of regret)

word count: 3k

a/n: matthew tkachuk is a stanley cup champion!!!! you know i had to do it to ya. ps this idea was formed a million years ago (pre trade) therefore I have simply plucked Cowboys from downtown Calgary to downtown Miami deal with it. big ups to @wyattjohnston for the edit and for outsourcing my geography queries. title and inspo from the song by the same name by lucy spraggan. enjoy my loves and let me know what you think <3

You’re never drinking again. 

It’s a mantra you repeat all morning, from the minute you’re dragged back into consciousness by the sound of construction down on the street, to when you finally pull from bed to dramatically slam the window shut, to the one-two-three-four times you end up with your knees on the bathroom mat and your head in the toilet. 

You’re far too old to be drinking like that on a nearly empty stomach, far too old to be drinking like that regardless. Okay, maybe that’s a tad dramatic, being a mostly single twenty something year old in downtown Miami. Mostly single in that every time you drank, your painfully unrequited crush on probably the one guy in all of Florida you couldn’t pull came out with a vengeance. 

Looking at your phone and all the unread texts you groan, realizing that the little girl who used to write ‘Mrs. Matty Tkachuk’ in all of her diaries came out in full force last night. 

Hyping yourself up, you type out and forward the message ‘What the hell did I do last night?’ to everyone you remember being out with you. Everyone, that is, except Matty himself. 

Brielle: Last night you told him you loved him 

It’s not atypical for you to be out on a Friday night, a group of your closest girlfriends at your side. Neither is it uncommon for the night to begin with the three of you taking thirst traps for the ‘gram before taking shots as the Uber pulls up. 

Cowboys is a favorite place, certainly not for the high class atmosphere or clientele��of which you’ll find neither. But who doesn’t love to let loose in an environment where the city boys of Miami don Stetsons and large belt buckles? And okay, maybe you’re a bit of a gambler—though, with money or love as the currency depends on the night. 

Tonight you’re pressing your luck, drinking enough to dull the edge and to keep you from overreacting to Matt’s response to the aforementioned Insta story. It’s a simple message, a string of fire emojis, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t refresh the app until his username appeared as ‘Seen’ under the story. 

You don’t want to think it means anything when he shows up with a couple of his boys an hour into dancing with the girls. Cowboys is a popular place, evidenced by the crowded dance floor and the complete lack of personal space. So what Brielle was wearing a cowboy hat in one of the pictures and so what everyone and their mother knew this bar was your favorite place to spend Friday nights and so what you’d even tagged the place in a boomerang of your shot glasses five minutes after arriving. 

It didn’t mean anything—doesn’t mean anything. 

That thought doesn’t stop you from abandoning your friends the second you see the all too familiar head of curls.

“Hi Matty,” you greet, stumbling into him and sliding your hand around his waist. He feels solid beneath your fingertips, warm and secure and everything you’ve ever wanted. His resulting grin could build and topple empires, you think. 

But then reality all comes crashing down again as he slides his arm around your shoulders in turn, squeezing gently as he replies, “Hey, Kid.”

It’s the gentle reminder you’ll never be anything more than the annoying girl next door who used to follow him and Brady around like they were the greatest thing in the world. 

If he notices the way you deflate, he doesn’t say a word, though his hand rubs comfortingly at your shoulder for a moment until you can’t stand it anymore and go back to your friends and their sympathetic faces. 

The thing about you when you drink is the filter comes off. Normally you play your cards close to your chest, making it very hard for others to know your emotions. But a little vodka and you’re suddenly ready to face your feelings head on. 

It starts off innocently enough, an over exaggerated ‘I love you!’ when he brings you a drink without you having to ask. But then Georgia is all but holding you down to prevent you from running after him and professing your love. She doesn’t succeed, what with you running into his arms midway through the night anyway. 

He has that same grin on his face as you tell him how much you love him, and though he doesn’t mean it the way you do, he tells you that he loves you too just the same. 

Though you haven’t eaten in at least twelve hours, the thought of food makes your already upset stomach turn some more, and so you settle for making a cup of tea to get some fluids back in you. 

Not quite ready to face the music in terms of what your alcohol fueled self did last night, you ignore the unread messages to flip through some Insta stories. There’s cute pics and videos of you and your girls, you screen shot your favorites and tap away until you pause on a boomerang of Georgia and Brielle. It’s cute enough if you ignore the small stain by Bri’s collar where she’d lost some of the second tequila shot. Oh, and you looking up at Matthew with the most pathetic lovesick look on your face in the background. 

It unsettles your stomach further, and so you abandon all plans of tea—turning off your kettle and grabbing the water bottle you’d prepped for yourself before you left last night and taking up residence on the couch. 

Putting on a random movie from your childhood on Disney+, you lay back and cover yourself with your favorite quilt. Another wave of nausea washes over you, and so you prop yourself up with a few extra pillows and fall asleep sitting up. 

It mustn’t be more than half an hour of uninterrupted sleep before you’re pulled out of it by the incessant buzzing of your phone. It’s a set of four pictures of you on Matt’s lap and another incriminating tidbit from the night before. 

Georgia: Last night you told him you need him

“Shut up Sammy,” you glare, angrily poking his chest with your index finger. You’re grateful for the uncharacteristic change in nail shape at your last manicure, the stiletto tip serving as a makeshift weapon that actually makes him wince before laughing in your face. 

Truthfully, you’re not sure how the night got to this point—you and your girls hanging around a table with Matty and his boys. You’re not complaining though, not with how your bare legs pressed to Matty’s jeans or how his arm rests above your shoulders, fingertips brushing your skin now and then. 

Matt can spot a fight coming from a mile away, well versed in the language that is your rage from the countless years he was the source of it, pulling on your pigtails and breaking your barbies. 

“That’s not my name,” Sam rolls his eyes, rubbing his chest and stealing a swig of your beer. “Lightweight.”

He’s referring to your drunken state and the fact that Matt himself had to drag you to the table with the promise of a Bud Light if, and only if, you drank an entire glass of water. Narrowing your eyes, you begin to lunge at him again, stopped only by the force of Matt pulling you onto his lap and wrapping an arm around your waist, one hand resting on your stomach and the other on your bare knee. 

The effects of being wrapped up in him are almost instantaneous. Your rage quickly simmers, your body relaxes and you all but sink into the embrace. You quiet then, content to let the rest of the table do the talking for the moment while you memorize the feel of his arms. 

It’s a nervous habit to fiddle with the small charm around your neck, something you do unconsciously, not even noticing until it’s somehow come undone in your grasp. 

“Matty, I need you,” you whisper against the side of his face, watching his eyes darken and the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. He opens his mouth to speak but you interrupt with your fist coming at his face with your necklace clenched tightly within. 

He visibly relaxes, motioning for you to lean forward and swiping your hair to the side.You grab the strands of your hair after he takes the necklace from you, shivering as his cold hands drag across your skin. 

Georgia is shaking her head at you from across the table, having clearly read your lips and witnessed the little moment. You just smile and shrug at her before pressing a chaste kiss to the skin of Matt’s jaw. “Thank you.”

You’re pretty sure you’re dying. By the grace of some higher power, you haven’t seen the inside of your bathroom in a hot minute. Yes, you’ve finally moved past stage one of your hangover, however you’re not out of the woods yet. You’re dying a slow death on the couch—feeling yourself dip more and more into dangerous dehydration levels despite the giant water bottle on your coffee table that had been a gag gift from Matt last Christmas. 

Truthfully, the room is still a little spinny and your stomach still a little unsettled, but perhaps the worst of it all is the splitting headache and the sore throat. Both ailments make sense, you’re a yeller when you drink and you’re certain last night was no exception—even if the memories are slow to return to you. 

It’s not aggression, not really. It’s more that your body can’t contain all the emotions that you so carefully hide in your day to day life, and without the control that sobriety brings, you’re wont to let them all spill out. 

And really, you can’t linger on the what ifs too long, so you settle back in for another nap as an attempt to sleep off the symptoms of your poorly thought out night out with another movie playing as background noise. 

Elizabeth has just rejected Darcy when your phone lights up three times. 

sam: let’s just say you’re screwed if you ever wake up in vegas

you: fuck off sammy

sam: still not my name, lightweight 

sam: at least I didn’t propose last night 

“You know, Sammy,” you slur, no longer angry but keeping up the nickname in hopes that the table will think you are and Matty will let you stay in his arms. “You’re very lucky Liz agreed to marry you because other than the hockey thing you really have no redeeming qualities.”

“At least someone wanted to marry me,” he retorts not unkindly. 

“Matty would marry me,” you state confidently, tilting your head back to look up at the man beneath you. “Wouldn’t you, Matty?”

“Gonna have to get down on one knee, Kid,” Matty laughs, shaking your body slightly from where it leans against him. The dopiest smile crosses your face at the sound and you know you’re being far too obvious but you can’t help it. Matty laughing is your favorite sound, and happiness looks so good on him. There’s nothing you hate more than seeing him sad or upset. Nothing except dirty, sticky bar floors, which makes your next actions even more comical. 

Pulling from his arms for the first time in what feels like an eternity—not that you were complaining—you jump from the table and dramatically flop down to one knee. 

“Matthew—M-Matty,” you hiccup, keenly aware of the dozens of eyes on you and yet utterly uncaring of any of them except the icy blue you stare into now. “You’re my b-best friend. Marry me?”

The look he gives you is fond if frigid, not at all the passionate love declaration you were hoping for. Pouting deeply, you don’t move to pull up from the floor. “Is that a no?”

“It’s a ‘not right now’,” he answers, getting up himself and pulling you up by your armpits. You wrap around him like a vine, not even protesting as he leads you to the bar to grab another glass of water and some appetizers for the table. 

God, you really regret asking about last night. Maybe it was better to live in beautiful, blissful ignorance — if you never remembered all the embarrassing behavior did it really happen? 

Unfortunately your vibrating phone simply refuses to let that happen. 

brielle: and you totally ate shit on the pavement leaving the bar last night 

That certainly explains the dull ache of your biceps, having caught the weight of you alongside breaking your fall. Luckily that appears to be the extent of the damage, given you can wiggle all of your fingers and toes and no other part of your body stings. 

Just your ego is bruised. 

“Why would we go home?” you ask, gesturing wildly at the emptying bar around you as though it were still the hopping venue of an hour ago. 

“Cause the bar staff would like to go home too,” Brielle explains kindly. 

“So we go to the next bar? I’m sure there’s somewhere still open, it’s only midnight!” 

Matty’s arm is heavy and warm and secure as it wraps around your shoulder to guide you to the exit. “I’ve already called us an Uber.”

You preen at the mention of an ‘us’ between you and Matt, suddenly docile and calm, allowing him to guide you outside. 

Far too preoccupied with the weight of him, you miss the broken piece of sidewalk and subsequently toe pick the crack, ending up face down on the pavement. 

Matt is quick, pulling you to your feet with ease and examining your face and upper body for damage. “You alright?”

“If I say no, will you kiss it better?” you crack back, only half joking. 

Shaking his head at your antics, he guides you into the waiting car before sliding in beside you. 

You’re quite content to lean your head on his shoulder the whole drive home, arm curled around his before letting him lead you to your bed.

A joke about inviting him into your bed doesn’t leave your lips, momentarily mesmerized by the gentle way he tucks you in, the soft press of his lips to your forehead. 

Could it possibly get worse, you wonder. 

Matty: let me up?

He’s got a key for emergencies, and although you usually appreciate that he doesn’t misuse it, in this case you almost wish he would let himself in. 

It would give you some extra time to compose yourself and—to be quite honest—you do yet harbor a little fear that getting vertical might have you running for the bathroom once again. 

Neither of those things happen—he doesn’t let himself in and you don’t throw up on your way to the door. You make quick work of the lock before opening the door to reveal Matthew looking as well rested as you’ve ever seen him. 

The contrast between the two of you is likely a stark difference, but his face doesn’t give anything away if he’s thinking it too. 

His first words to you are simple, full of care and compassion. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a bus that then backed right over me again,” you answer truthfully. 

His responding giggle makes your insides feel warm and you can only hope you don’t have the tell tale lovesick look on your face. There’s a moment of quiet contemplation—his chest visibly puffs up and then deflates as he takes a steeling breath. 

“You said some things last night,” he says and you feel your blood run ice cold in your veins. 

You attempt to deflect. “I say a lot of things, Matty. Especially when I’ve gotten into the Tito’s.”

He shakes his head and takes a step towards you. “Last night you said you loved me.”

“Of course I love you, you’re my best friend.” It’s not a lie, not completely anyway. You love him. He’s your best friend. So what if that love you have for him is something a little bit more than friendship? 

He shakes his head again, little ringlets of curls shaking with the motion. “Didn’t sound friendly. You said you needed me.” His voice is rough, tone something heavy. 

“To fix my necklace, Matty. What are you doing?” Your voice in response is a little wild—short clipped sentences spoken in quick succession.  

He appears frustrated. Not necessarily at you, you don’t think, but it’s clear on his face.  “That’s not—You said you wanted to marry me, got down on one knee even. 

“I was drunk, it’s not that deep.” 

He takes the remaining steps toward you, crowding your space and boxing you in with his arms. Yet you know with one word he would back off if you asked. 

You don’t ask. 

“But what if it is? What if I said that I love you too, that I need you too? That the only person who I’ve ever thought about marrying was you?”

“Matty, what are you doing?” you ask lowly, heart pounding so loud you fear he might hear it. 

“Something I should have done a long time ago,” he murmurs and leans in until your lips barely touch. 

It's the invitation you feel you’ve waited a lifetime for. No amount of doubt or hesitation or uncertainty is going to stop you from wrapping yourself around him and deepening the kiss. 

It’s soft and sweet—two decades of buildup, of a beautiful friendship turned something more. It’s you and Matty the way it was always supposed to be—the way it was always going to end up. 

[botchedsundoll]

L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)

ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; christmas hc’s

ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none! pure fluff

ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; ho ho ho merry christmas idc if its nov its christmas time… do ppl drink on christmas? we do so idek? icl this is all like stuff i made up bcos i don’t celebrate christmas like this but wtv we roll #wesołychświąt

C. OLIVEIRA

do not let this man near the kitchen. everything that can go wrong goes WRONG

ask him to take something out the oven, he drops it. ask him to stir something in the bowl he stirs too vigorously and it goes flying all over the counters

he’s a pain. he’s distracting. constantly getting infront of you with the mistletoe, thinking he’s slick by trying to sneak in kisses. constantly sneaking bites of food whenever he thinks you’re not looking (you are, and you smack his hands away with a spoon)

one thing he’s actually good at and enjoys is cookie decorating. he’ll make little gingerbread men of you two and make them so damn detailed. makes one for jill too, though with less care and her face ends up a bit… strange

he’s THAT person which is always ringing everyone, friends and family, wishing them a merry christmas and sends them stupid gifs slavic babcias love so much (if u dont know what i mean then☹️)

LOVES the whole aspect of the christmas tree yet hates putting it together, it pisses him off to no end and half way through ends up calling you over to help him… definitely picks you up so that you can put the star on top

if he gets an ugly christmas sweater you best believe he’s wearing it for the full day, no shame

L. KENNEDY

depends which leon we’re talking about

younger leon puts in more effort, older leon genuinely can’t be fucked to do much

walks around with a trash bag when everyone’s opening presents so there’s no mess on the floor

your guys’ house is literally the christmas function. every year. mostly due to you inviting everyone round and deciding to host it, much to leon’s annoyance but he doesn’t mind THAT much since he loves you!!

definitely the best gift giver. for some damn reason he just knows what everyone wants, genuinely no explanation for it. he just does

he’s such a sweetheart, constantly asking you if you need help with anything in the kitchen or whether you need him to pop to the store for anything

he 100% sang carols when he was younger. just imagine 7 year old leon, hair gelled back, button up shirt, stood infront of the tv singing carols (lets pretend he didn’t have all that trauma okay)… get him to sing again, he might cave once he’s drunk enough with chris

on the topic of chris, something ALWAYS happens when the pair have had a few and aren’t sober any longer. something always gets broken for some reason

one year, they randomly got up and started dancing. leon went flying into the christmas tree and took it down with him.

i hc him as having a rather large sweet tooth, so he’s always down for some cookie decorating! it’s rather sloppy and they end up looking questionable most of the time, but he ends up eating half of them before he’s even fully finished decorating so that’s not much of a problem anyways

C. REDFIELD

santa. need i say more?

nag him constantly to wear a santa outfit or atleast a santa hat. he will cave eventually

DEFINITELY gets a wallet for christmas every damn year without fail, yet doesn’t even use the damn wallets

him in the kitchen helping you out is definitely… something. he doesn’t know how to measure - what the fuck is a cup?

you asked him to help you out and stuff the turkey. he walked out the kitchen.

gets claire shitty gifts on purpose but then gives her her ACTUAL gift. they’re siblings after all, he can’t help it, old habits die hard

hates decorating the outside of the house. it’s his nightmare. all the stupid lights, just no

goes CRAZY on your gift. it’s like a little reward for all the effort you go through every year, and it’s always something you wanted badly and doesn’t fail to put a smile on your face

he’s not necessarily a fan of sweet things, but hot chocolate? that’s a completely different story entirely, you end up having to send him to buy milk since he drank the whole damn carton and there’s none left by the time you get around to actually preparing for dinner

like leon, sits there with a trash bag. he gives such dad vibes i can’t stop imagining it

him and leon ultimate christmas duo after a few drinks. all of a sudden chris is in the biggest christmas spirit ever and can’t get last christmas out his head

best thing is? he’s not even too big on christmas. he actually celebrates it just because of you, what a sweetheart

[erideights]

Little pieces here and there (2)

Pairing: Buggy x Fem!Reader (One Piece Live Action)

Chapters: one, three, four, five

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Flirting, suggestive flirting, heavy pinning

A/N: GUYS THIS CHAPTER HAS ME ON THE FLOOR, I HOPE YOU ENJOY, THANKS FOR YOUR PATIENCE and if you like it let me know to start preparing part 3 ♡ (sorry for any grammatical mistake!)

"The One Piece will never be yours!" He shouted angrily, that -now- dwarf with a red nose, giant hands and feet, when he was defeated. Just like in a cartoon for kids.

"You're just a sad, lonely little boy wearing another man's hat!" She could not understand how it was possible that this intimidating, psychopathic, eccentric clown had turn around so quickly into this little thing that was so... dare she say pathetic, but she didn't wanna be too cruel to him.

The moment Luffy declared his intentions again, Buggy began to look around him, desperate for a way to escape, maybe one of his crew members who would miraculously come to the rescue, or an unexpected ally.  Like (Y/N).

"Wo wo wo wo, no no no no, wait wait!"

He opened his mouth and begged, probably to suggest some kind of pact, to promise (Y/N) a place among his crew like he did with Luffy before, but before he could say anything else, the rubber boy already threw him into the sky.

And that was the last time she thought she would see Buggy The Clown. Little did she know, she was wrong.

Oh, so wrong.

Let's say that the days to come were anything but calm. From the Kuro Incident™, at least they won Usopp's friendship and the Going Merry, one of the cutest ships she has ever seen, to be fair.

And then they arrived at the Baratie, where they met the oh, so attentive Sanji, Zoro was about to die, and Nami... Nami left with the fishmen. Although (Y/N) was on Luffy and Sanji's side when they claimed something bad was actually happening, because she wouldn't have chosen to leave with them just like that, without a hidden, ugly reason behind. Didn't fit in with the idea she had of the ginger.

"I know someone who knows where to find her," says her "captain" when they all discuss their next step.

"Hello boys!" Buggy's head coughs and exclaims in the most forced, sarcastic way possible. Imagine threatening to kill those people after kidnapping them less than a week ago, and now your life depends on them. Low blow, if someone asked her. "Sweetheart." He then smirked devilishly when he saw (Y/N) a little further back, resting her side on the kitchen counter. Surprised to see him and the way he calls her, she raises an eyebrow and gives a small, amused smile. "Hello Buggy."

"Arg, Doll! I'm so happy to see a beautiful face like yours around here." The clown shouts when (Y/N) comes out on deck after several hours organizing the pantries with Sanji. She looks at him out of the corner of her eye with a little smile on her lips when she leaves a snack for Usopp and goes towards the bow of the ship or, in fewer words = in the opposite direction to where her mere existence is spiritually needed. The clown is already tired of giving Usopp directions after all morning arguing where to go, so infatuated and hypnotized by the mysterious aura that surrounds the woman, he doesn’t give up, and his head floats in the direction of the girl, following her, resting right by her side as she sits on the ground, legs falling over the ship's railing and out to the sea.

"Pretty sure you didn't hear me back there" because the idea of someone ignoring him was unthinkable. A war crime. An insult to God itself. He was still Buggy The Clown, The Flashy Fool, even without his crew. Or his ship. Or his body. Fucking hell, what did he have left apart from the head? "I was saying I'm glad I'm not only surrounded by idiots. Having your beautiful face around here makes standing them much easier." He flirts, winking an eye, which (Y/N) doesn't fully get but finds kinda interesting. "We had a moment the other day, right? It wasn't just my imagination, I know it."

"Yeah, we totally had a moment" She agrees, clearly being sarcastic to everyone but him.  "You kidnapped us, you called me pretty, you searched me, I threatened you, you liked it..." she lists, lying her back on the deck, arms raised, own head resting on her hands, enjoying the breeze, the sun, and the smell of the salty water. 

"I loved it," he corrects her after emitting a little grunt of satisfaction, vividly remembering that scene. What would he not give to go back and enjoy it a little bit more before the rest of her crew ruined his entire day -week- so blatantly and unnecessarily over the top.

"You're welcome. Any time." She answers after an amused giggle, eyes closed.

"Don't tempt me."

"Now tell me," Buggy resumes the conversation after about 30 seconds of silence. He clearly doesn't know how to enjoy it. He is that type of person for whom silence not only makes him uncomfortable, but also terrifies him. Theatre kid. "What's a woman like you doing with a bunch of insufferable kids like them? I know they're trying to organize their boy band and go on adventures around the world, but you... you should look for someone more suitable to your needs, capable of giving you different stimuli. More mature." He adds in the end with a low, seductive tone of voice, shamelessly feeding on the image of the curve of her body now that she's not paying visual attention to him.

"Hmhm. Maybe I'll look for them." She answers nonchalantly, just because. She finds really entertaining this type of tug-flirting-war. Even if he's the only one that flirts and she just gives him opportunities to do so.

"You don't have to look too far." He was so cliché, how cute.

"You talk too much to be no more than a floating head."

"I could always put my tongue to better use." Snapping her eyes open, (Y/N) holds her breath for a second, taking in what she just heard = what he just offered. That would be, literally, giving head. In all the glorious sense of the expression. Raising both eyebrows, she turns her face on the ground to observe him, nibbling at her lower lip. She seems to consider it for a few seconds, because no, she cannot deny how interesting and, at the same time, weird, degenerate, the idea is. But before he has the opportunity to keep talking his way into convincing her, she breaks into a cruel smile and decides to cut his mood "You mean like guiding us to the Konomi islands instead of talking with me? You're right, you should get back to work."

He looks at her like he was just betrayed by his second in command, hoping she would agree by the expression on her face seconds ago, the way she looked at him and how she was biting her own lip in that tortuous way that pushed him to want -need- to do it by himself.

"Wait, no need to play difficult with me sweetheart, I--" But it's too late, (Y/N) is already standing, grabbing Buggy's head between her hands, and before he could add anything else, she winks at him, kiss one of his cheeks, screams at the top of his lungs "USOPP!! CATCH HIM!" and throws his head like she was playing volleyball, Usopp jumping to be able to reach him, both of them celebrating the pass like children, ignoring Buggy's complaints.

The third time he flirts -tries to- with her, she's back on the deck, helping Zoro and Sanji moving some things around. He begins to scream desperately, and knowing damn well that if no one pays attention to him he won't stop even if that means losing his voice, she approaches, hands on her hips, sighing as she looks at him like someone that is about to regret getting close to a crying, annoying child. "What's wrong with you?" she asks dryly, pressing her lips together. "Ah, my guardian angel. Could you do me the favor of scratching me behind my ear?" Oh. A waaay more harmless request than she expected. Of course, she relents, because she sees nothing wrong with this small favor; she’s quite the empathetic, and in his place she would surely prefer to jump headfirst -ba dum tss- into the sea rather than suffer that itch and not be able to scratch it. After granting his wish, just as she is about to leave, Buggy moves his head much faster than anyone would predict, to catch one of the girl's fingers in his mouth and suck and lick and nibble, in a… God, a sample of what he could do with his tongue somewhere else.

A shiver runs down (Y/N)'s spine, and it reaches a pleasurable end between her legs, causing her to press them together as she inhales deeply.

"Wanna see what else I can do?" He whispers as he releases her. She can hear him over the crash of the waves against the hull of the boat, eyes fixed on his face, will to complain nowhere to be seen. Bold, not in a hundred years she would have expected that. And for a moment, she is tempted. That has been undeniably attractive. And it had a really strong effect on her. "I would gladly show you if you let me, you just have to ask, sugar lips. I bet it's been a damn long time you don't treat yourself--"

"(Y/N)!!" Zoro calls her, instantly exploding the bubble between Buggy and her.

She sighs in relief because only God knows she was close to give up. Then swallows, shakes her head exaggeratedly to shake herself out of his spell, and, licking her lips, gives the clown a mischievous smile, recomposing herself. "Nice try"

"Stop trying to deny the obvious" He tried again for the... 5th time? She /really/ lost count during their journey. Appearing from nowhere, he startled her in the process. He was now in a shelf of the kitchen, at the same height as the girl's face. "The chemistry between us is unbearable, you can see it from miles away." Jumping to approach the edge of the shelf, his eyes look her up and down. "Turns me on how you play hard to get because I don't like easy things either, so I respect your game," he nods, raising an eyebrow "But come on... I know you like me. I've seen how you look at me or bite your lip when I flirt with you, you have nothing to be ashamed of."

This whole thing was really trying her patience. Not because she wanted to fuck him off, but because she knows that all that flirting would end with her giving in and doing something she certainly shouldn't. As of for now, he had gotten her to vaguely consider it, and she had to admit, she was growing some kind of attraction slash fondness slash crush for him, but it wasn't enough to fall to her knees.

He wanted war, tho? He would have it.

"You're right, I like you, but you know, I like my men body and all, capable of grabbing me by the hips and pushing me on theirs, to fuck me and make me scream their name until I lose my voice. To make it difficult for me to walk straight the day after." she whispers, approaching him slowly until they share the same air, her nose touching his red one. (Y/N) closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as her tongue caresses her own lips, almost touching the clown’s ones too. Yes, she likes him, she has some sort of twisted soft spot for men who ranged from intimidating psychopath to the most pathetic human being depending on the day, and Buggy was the perfect example for that. "And you..." she tilts her head to the side, attempting to close the distance between each other and kiss him, but at the last second she withdraws, leaving the poor clown with his eyes closed, waiting for the touch of her dreamy lips. "Unfortunately you're just a head."

"Try again when you get your whole body back!"

[gguk-n]

Hi could please write one where the reader is bengali and celebrates Durga Puja with Lando in india ( ollie or kimi works too but I'm not sure if you write for them)?

I did a ‘spin the wheel’ and got Ollie.

Puja Vibes

Ollie was as white as white gets and his girlfriend was the embodiment of the Bengali culture prancing around. She had helped Oliver expand his horizon; taught him new experiences and delicious food. She will argue, that there’s no dessert like Bengali dessert.

So, when it was time for Y/N to return home for Durga Puja, Ollie would be joining her too since he had no races or prior commitments.

They hadn’t dated for long but Ollie had showered her with gifts on Christmas and taught her all his family traditions. Y/N just wanted to do the same for him.

At the airport, they landed together with Ollie in tow who was enamoured by the hustle and bustle of the city. He saw cows crossing the road like it was another Tuesday and no one batted an eye. Y/N pointed out all the building explaining the significance and the reason behind their construction during the colonial era on the way to her home.

At home, preparations for Durga Puja were in full swing. Y/N’s uncle and aunt had decorated their house ornately. Oliver greeted everyone.

The festivities would start the next day. Everyone was up bright and early for the invocation (bodhon) Oliver was mesmerised by the shining lights and the bright colours and the beautiful way Goddess Durga was dressed.

The main event was Maha Ashtami which Y/N’s father had great pleasure in explaining to Oliver. Oliver was like a kid in a candy store; eyes wide open and mesmerised by the events unfolding in front of him.

You would find the poor boy following Y/N around like a lost puppy. It was adorable watching him hold onto her saree palo as she walked in front of him. “Lemme hold your hand” Ollie whined. “Everyone is here for the festival. What will the elder’s think?” Y/N reasoned. In Indian culture, blatant show of affection was frowned upon especially in the older generations, the younger ones couldn’t care less. That’s why Ollie was walking around holding her palo.

They were stood next to each other while Y/N’s mother made the preparations for Maha Ashtami. “Your dress looks so beautiful. Red truly is your colour” Ollie said. “Thank you babe” she said. “How did you do this?” He asked playing with the folds. “My mum helped. I’m still pretty bad at tying a saree” she said. “Is that what it’s called? A saree” he said enunciating each word. “Yup, it’s an Indian traditional wear but everyone wraps the cloth around them differently, depending on the region of the country” she explained. His mouth formed an O in understanding.

They finished up the celebration with all the rituals being done and Oliver asking way too many questions each step of the way.

On the last day after Vijaya Dashami, after the immersion in the water everyone returned back home, exhausted by the events of the past days when Y/N’s cousin showed her a video; actually a few.

One video, had Ollie following her around like a lost puppy. The other one was of him holding her palo so as to not get lost. And the last one was straight out of a Shah Rukh Khan movie where Ollie’s watch had gotten stuck in her palo and he tried to free himself while actively trying to follow her and not let her know that he might fray her outfit. Eventually, he did free himself but his eyes never left her as he walked behind her.

She showed the video to Ollie and the Shah Rukh Khan scene from Om Shanti Om. Ollie was seen laughing, “didn’t know I would be getting my Bollywood moment this year during Puja” she said. “I’m happy I could be of service, m’lady” he said tipping his imaginary hat. “I would still have loved if it was Shah Rukh Khan” she teased. “Wow! I can’t believe this.” He acted hurt with his hand on his chest. “You are unbelievable.” She muttered pressing her lips on his cheeks. “Don’t try to bribe me with kisses” he huffed. “I’m not. I love you my cute little bear” she cooed. “I’m not cute” he huffed again. “Sure, my rasgulla” she laughed pinching his cheeks. “I like that dessert. Can I have some more?” He replied lost in thought. “I’m sure my mother will find great pleasure in feeding you” she said laughing. “Let’s go” she said pulling him along. “I love you Y/N.” Ollie called out while being dragged along. “I love you too” she replied turning to look at him.

Y/N’s family cooed at them, young love

Hope you liked it! I tried my best

[mi-i-zori]

141 x Squirrel Hybrid!Reader

CoD - Hybrid!AU - GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS : It’s hard to imagine a squirrel hybrid surviving the ruthlessness of the army. But the members 141 found themselves surprised by how well they can fit in this universe. Saying they appreciate it is an understatement.

WARNING : Slight mention of bullying from other soldiers. Otherwise, it’s pure fluff.

Author’s Note : Watched a documentary about squirrels and well… Here’s another idea I had for an Hybrid/Shifter AU. Might end up doing both, since they’re kind of different in my head. Again, kinda headcanon-ish.

I do not allow anyone to translate, re-use or re-publish my works, be it here or on any other platform, including AI.

CoD AUs - Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Little thing who is extremely agile, smart and skittish.

They hide snacks everywhere, especially in autumn, but end up forgetting about a lot of them. Price often finds a little bag of nuts under his hat when he puts it down even for a moment, which always makes him chuckle. The team completely lost it when the Captain was once taking a sound nap, and Reader hid a snack under his hat while it was still on his head.

They instinctively try to hide, or at least dampen their scent in their multiple nests (that they use depending on the seasons) by stealing the guys’ clothes and stuffing their bed with them. They don’t mind. Johnny even finds it pretty funny, as it reminds him of the way he and his siblings used to do the same (and still do, sometimes). He willingly leaves his shirts or hoodies in easily accessible places so they can get their fill, which already left him struggling to find something to wear a few times. The others will never let him live it down.

They sleep among tons of clothes, pillows and blankets, and curl their long, bushy tail around their body and clutch it like a plushie. The boys created a secret group on WhatsApp where they send each other pictures of Reader sleeping in uncommon places, or just being their little squirrel selves.

They climb everything they see, and sometimes perch on the guys’ shoulders to observe their surroundings and get away from « predators ». They really seem to favor Simon’s shoulders for this, and he can be quite the smug bastard about it whenever he is in a teasing mood. But he usually enjoys it in silence, sneaking them a treat or gently patting their back to calm them down.

They got the guys to keep snacks on them all the time, keeping in mind that they really like hazelnuts and other similar fruits. Since Gaz found out that squirrels also eat mushrooms, they try get them a box or two of those too whenever they can.

When they all go out for a drink, the team usually orders a few bowls of those little appetizers with nuts and similar fruits in them. Reader has a field day with those, and the guys eat what they don’t. There was a time where Simon caught them stuffing some of those appetizers in their pockets for later. Johnny and Kyle started laughing like crazy at their lieutenant’s and teammate faces, one flabbergasted and the other looking like a deer caught in headlights. Price only let out an exasperated chuckle, shaking his head while noting to bring a little plastic bag with him should this happen again.

Reader curls up against the guys whenever they need to take a nap but can’t reach their nest. Again, it soothes their instinct to conceal their scent a little, and, in winter, it allows them to keep warm easily too. They also take advantage of the snacks the guys have on them to gather their strength when they wake up a little weaker after their naps.

Despite still being skittish, they chase the guys around when they try to court them, something the team takes a while to realize. They all find it pretty endearing, and Soap always ends up turning these little chases into playtimes.

They take on the little challenges said team creates to keep them entertained, placing treats in places that are harder to reach. Kyle has a lot of fun preparing a whole bunch of obstacle courses in the base’s gym for them, instructing them to get all the goodies in a limited amount of time or something of the like. He’s got multiple videos in his phone of Squirrel!Reader jumping around the gym, hopping on or above the machines (and sometimes other people).

Price came up with the idea of hiding stuff on themselves, or around other people, for Reader to retrieve without being noticed or caught. A few times, when the team was around a body of water, he placed himself in a way that would force them to swim despite not being too fond of it ; it always amazes him to see how sneaky they can be even in such an uncomfortable environment. The guys were also pleasantly surprised to see how resourceful they can be, using strategies they didn’t really think of themselves (or thought would be to risky to try) to avoid swimming. Although they admit, they find it pretty funny whenever their little squirrel barely holds back a grumble when they realise getting wet isn’t an option, and get into the water with a grimace on their face. They make it up to them by drying and feeding them with lots of treats afterwards, erasing the pout lingering on their features.

The team tries not to tease them too much about it, but they find the angry swishing of Reader’s tail, whenever they’re frustrated about something, to be pretty cute.

The guys are really protective of their little squirrel. There are idiots everywhere, and they’ve lost count of the times someone made a rude comment, or tried to bully Reader to trigger « funny » reactions. Ghost never hesitates to unleash hell on such people, leaving an usually overwhelmed or frustrated Reader in his teammates’ care.

Of all the teams they’ve worked with, the 141 is probably the one that makes Reader feel the safest. It takes them a moment to admit it, but the guys are really proud of themselves for this. You can tell whenever they think about it because they suddenly start glowing with pride.

[hxney-lemcn]

Late Night Chaos — Daisuke x gn! reader

summery: things start going bad on the Tulpar, and the worst possible outcome comes to fruition

tw: reader is implied to have trauma surrounding domestic violence (specifically loud arguments), Jimmy making the worst choices imaginable, if you watched/played the game then you should be good

a/n: haha, so I choose unbearable angst...

wc: 1.2k

Master List

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine

Tense. That was the best way to describe how you felt. Eyes locked forward, tuning out the conversation around you. You despised fights, bringing you back to a time you long wished to forget. This was meant to be a party, a break from all the monotonous work, a celebration. Apparently you all had to share a communal birthday party, and according to the veterans (Anya, Swansea, and Jimmy), it was Captain Curly’s turn. You were excited, looking forward to having a good time, have some cake and maybe play some games. It was a surprise party as well, which made it all the better. You and Daisuke had taken charge of decorating, placing up banners and balloons with the help of Swansea. Even Anya was excited, putting a birthday hat on Polle, the Pony Express mascot. 

The captain had looked surprised, a small smile curling on his lips as you all stood in front of him wearing birthday hats…but you noticed it seemed a bit strained. Unfortunately, he was the only one able to make the cake, leading you all to wait for it to be made. The air was light though, everyone sitting down and waiting for Curly to cut the first slice. Well, at least that’s what you were waiting for, instead, Daisuke asked Curly to make a speech.

“Can’t argue with that,” Jimmy agreed.

“Speech, speech, speech!” Daisuke chanted with a grin. 

“Go on,” Anya nodded, also seeming excited. 

“I…” Curly hesitated, blue eyes trailing across you all in uncertainty.

“...Hey,” Jimmy cut in. “What’s wrong?”

That was the catalyst. Curly had explained that you were all losing your jobs, and were the last shipment for Pony Express. You felt your stomach drop, hunching in and eyeing the older adults that surrounded you. You were merely an intern, you could bounce back from this, but the people whose entire lives depended on this job? You were just waiting for the pin to drop.

“Pony Express finally kicking the bucket, huh,” Swansea grumbled angrily. “What a joke. And we’re the punchline.”

“I don’t have any savings,” Anya spoke up shakily. “T-they can’t just do this, right?” You continued to look down at your empty plate, feelings unbearably uncomfortable. Glancing at Daisuke who sat beside you, he seemed to feel the same, the both of you the odd ones out.

“Pony Express was one of the last manned crew freighter companies,” Swansea explained. “The writing’s been on the wall for a long time.”

“When did they tell you?” Jimmy asked, and you felt yourself freeze. His tone was icy calm, but you could see the anger swimming behind his eyes. 

“Earlier this week. I was instructed to wait until we’re closer to the haul destination. But I can’t keep something like this from you all.” Curly responded, and just like that it was like you could hear the pin hit the ground.

“...So I guess you got what you wanted, without the guilt,” Jimmy chuckled humorlessly. 

“Jim…” Curly trailed off, looking like a kicked puppy. His people pleasing tendencies were starting to make you feel sick…and the electric tension you felt in the air. “If I had known…”

“I can go back to my…how’d you put it?” Jimmy mocked, causing your shoulders to tense. It was then that you started to disassociate, mind turning empty as Jimmy continued to berate the Captain. You flinched when Jimmy hit the table, wearily eyeing Jimmy’s angry expression. Too much, this whole situation was too much, you felt the incessant need to run, but also frozen in place. 

You nearly jumped in your spot when you felt Daisuke’s warm hand envelope your own, looking just as uncomfortable, but also worried. You squeezed his hand tightly, using it as a distraction from the unsettling atmosphere when Captain Curly began to cut the cake, fidgeting with the rings that lined his fingers. 

You had become more on edge after that, jumping at any noise that was too loud, scared of making the situation worse somehow. Anya, who you had looked up to as being strong, had become battered, clearly terrified of what her future held. Swansea had become even more isolated, swiping tools from Daisuke’s hand and muttering ‘just lemme do it’. The captain seemed tired, unsure how to fix an unfixable situation. Even you knew there was no way for there to be an option where everyone won. Then there was Jimmy, more irritable and snarky, like a mini whirlwind causing a trail of disaster in his wake. If you were avoiding him before, then you were acting like he had the plague now. 

Sure, when he snapped at you for seemingly no reason that one time you were ready to fight back. He had just been an annoying boomer who thought he was better than everyone else. But now? Now it was different. He was a desperate man who had no hope, and that’s what terrified you. The pure, unbridled anger in his eyes at the party made your skin crawl, and you thought for a split second that he would do something that would bring you all down with him. 

…

“Hey, you okay?” Daisuke asked softly. It was only two days after the unfortunate ‘party’ and all the effort to get you to open up seemed to have been instantly undone. He noticed your discomfort during the argument, but he had been wrapped up in his own effort to try and act like everything was okay instead of addressing the problem head on. But it got to the point where he couldn’t ignore it, heart twisting painfully everytime you tensed at his touch, the split second fear in your eyes before calming down when realizing it was just him. 

“Yeah,” Your response was desolate. It was obvious you weren’t okay, and Daisuke nearly backed down, but your blank gaze didn’t sit well in his chest. 

“You’re lying.” He hated confrontation, but he didn’t like seeing your teasing and cheerful demeanor subsiding into something timid, frightful and bleak. Sure, the crew had an argument, and even he felt like he was walking on a tightrope, but you didn’t need to be so scared. 

“You’re right,” You didn’t even try to fight back, fingers twitching, feeling on edge. A silence fell between you both. He was getting nowhere, and he wasn’t sure how to get you to just tell him what was wrong. It was better to share your worries than keep them in, but he also didn’t want to pry too deeply into a topic you didn’t want to share. 

“Why?” Daisuke asked, feeling hopeless.

“I have a bad feeling,” You spoke, eyes finally landing on your frowning boyfriend. “Something really, really bad is gonna happen. I just know it.”

You seemed to have a foresight that he lacked. Your haunting words echoing through his head as the red emergency lights blared throughout the ship only four days later. Everyone scrambled to the Captain’s corridor, and Daisuke could only watch on in horror as Captain Curly stood burnt, hands and feet trapped in the emergency foam, Anya ordering you to get her medical supplies. As you rushed past and made eye contact, an understanding was held in both of your gazes. 

You were right. Something really, really bad had happened.

[mushroomates]

pippin headcanons:

does not know how to tie shoes

this is because 1) hobbits don’t wear shoes and 2) he hasn’t put together that you can just tie shoes like you tie anything else

can do knots and makes friendship bracelets (albeit clunky ones)

they’re very bad and no one tells him this. they will just wear it until it falls off or he’s not looking

does not know how to put a duvet cover on- isn’t quite sure what a duvet is, either

he avoids this by sleeping under quilts. he acquires them by visiting grandma/great aunt/older relatives, acts cold, and then is generously given one. this has happened several times, all with great success. if you call him on this, he is delighted because he gets to use his favorite line: quilty as charged!

he sleeps under a mountain of pillows and blankets and then complains about being to warm at night.

wholeheartedly prides himself on being the Tallest Hobbit (thanks, treebeard)

before that, it was that he was the Fastest Hobbit according to one race he and merry did, once, at a cousins twelfth birthday party

he, very generously, offered to pass this title on to merry, who came in second (two person race) but merry maintains that Fastest Hobbit means nothing now that they both have longer legs. merry has challenged pippin to several rematches. pippin conveniently cannot make any of them

will intentionally and maliciously place things on the top shelf so you have to ask him

can french braid his toe hair. don’t ask him how he figured this out

cannot dutch braid. is bitter about this.

put chocolate chips in scrambled eggs and called it “chegs” and now he has that every thursday for first breakfast.

chegs, truly, are awful. imagine charred eggs with bits of shell. now add in the weirdly dry melted chocolate you get from microwaving it. okay, now put that in a pan and only cook (burn) 3/4th of it and also whatever’s left in the pan from whatever was cooked last

now you have chegs, a la pippin

loves to make this for company. gandalf and legolas are the only ones who will eat it.

frodo hates it but merry has put it in pippins head that frodo LOVES chegs and now pippin makes it for him everytime he comes over

one had a dandelion stuck in his ear for an estimated two weeks. pippin maintains he has no idea how it got there, so no one really knows how long it would have stayed had no one said anything

his mother thought it was a fashion statement- like when he went through his hat phase, in which pippin tried to wear a different hat each day of the week. then it escalated to a diffent color of hat, then type of hat-

merry finally broke the news to him that he does not look even remotely good in hats (his hair fills it out weirdly) and pippin had to be stopped because he was going to shave his hair off to commit to the bit-

then, one day, the hats kinda just disappeared and pippin will ignore you if you ask about it.

gandalf once in the heat of the moment told pippin that he put a wizard curse on him so that the hobbit will be struck down if he doesn’t stop talking. pippin asked “what do you mean by wizard curse” and now lives in fear of a wizards wrath everytime it storms. (gandalf did in fact, not put such a curse on pippin but pippin does not know that. if told he doesn’t believe you)

that being said he very much does not understand how lightning works. some of his common misconceptions:

lightning does not hit salt water. if it did, then all the fish would be dead. (there is a salt lake outside of bree that was struck three years ago, pippin says they’re liars)

lightning does not strike when you blink. if you eat a lot of beans, you won’t get struck by lightning. lightning changes color depending on where its going to hit. horses can’t be struck by lightning, they’re too fast. cats can’t be struck by lightning, because they’re small AND fast. if you sprinkle salt on your head, lightning will not hit you. (this stems from lighting doesn’t hit salt water)

also doesn’t not understand weather. all clouds are rain clouds. no exceptions. (if clouds are water then it must mean rain)

it cannot rain on wednesdays. weather resets for the day when the sun sets. legolas backs him up on the last one.

will put anything on toast. loves making up new combos. some favorites include: olives and butter, cheese and jam, (valid) anchovies and tomato sauce, (not valid) pickles and cream cheese, asparagus and peanut butter

has a shelf dedicated to wooden trinkets (see boromir post) that is very large and a fire hazard.

has an unknown number of pet cats. at least two but they filter in and out. they’re all named gandalf.

gandalf does not this this. everyone else thinks it’s hilarious.

sends various rocks in the post to gimli. gimli does not know why pippin does this but accepts the rocks gratefully. pippin also sends legolas leaves, which legolas is delighted about each time.

if he can cheat in a board/card game, he will. he will also deny this and get really upset if someone else cheats.

[amalthea-abstractions]

Manifesting more Solavellan Banter in Da4

/Part 1/

Rook: Soooo… the “dread wolf” huh? Is that literal?

Solas: I can manifest as a wolf if necessary, yes.

Rook: So, do you have anything to do with that wolf the Inquisitor keeps seeing in her dreams, perchance?

Solas: … if you have any questions that pertain to the mission at hand, I would be happy to answer those.

Rook: Solas, tell me— is the Inquisitor as beautiful as she is depicted in the paintings?

Solas: That depends. Which paintings do you refer to?

Rook: uuuuh. Yours I guess?

Solas: Hm.

Solas: No. Despite my best attempts, I could not come close to replicating her beauty. My frescos are mere candles to a blazing fire by comparison.

Rook: aww, that’s actually so sweet.

Varric: Hey, Is Chuckles there right now?

Rook: Yeah, why?

Varric: He can hear me?

Rook: Yes..?

Varric: Good. I just want him to know that, to celebrate defeating Corypheus, the Inquisitor had some special frilly cakes ordered. And they went cold and stale.

Solas: …

Rook: Um, okay???

Solas: To see a live griffon… What an incredible and magnificent creature. I wonder what it would be like to mount one.

Rook: I bet that’s not the only thing you wonder about mounting ¬‿¬

Solas: *Sighs* I suppose I should have seen that one coming.

Varric: Hey, Fen’Harel! Question for you.

Rook: He’s listening.

Solas: *Sighs* I suspect this is not going to be related to our progress, nor the veilguard.

Varric: Does time feel different to you than it does for all us mortals? Because for us, two years is a long time.

Rook: What’s he talking about?

Solas: I suspect the fact that I did not see anyone from the Inquisition for a period of two years after the fall of Corypheus.

Varric: And yet, she waited. All. That. Time. She deserved some kind of answer. And instead, all she got was another broken promise, and lost a limb.

Solas. …ah. I see what this is about.

Rook: Care to fill me in??

Solas: …Another one of my many, many mistakes.

Rook: So, Solas, you were at the Winter Palace with the Inquisition, right?

Solas: Indeed, the Inner Circle assisted *insert user choice result of Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts*

Rook: Right, that. I’ve seen paintings of that night, and there’s always an elf…

Solas: *sighs*

Rook: …wearing a funny hat….

Solas: … What is your question?

Rook: That WAS you? Ha!! What was up with the hat??

Rook: Solas? Solas! Hey! This is an important question!!

If you want more Solavellan banter @lillotte17 has some here :)

[tr4gictea]

how about reader who is a honeybadger human x house of hearth (platonic)

Honeybadger!Human!Teen!Reader w/House of the Hearth

❥Masterlist

Tags: child homelessness, orphan reader, fighting, jumping a man, illegal activity, fighting, curse words, oc orphans

Including: Lyney, Lynette, Freminet, and other house of hearth children

word count: 3,729 words

A/n: Hi! Thank you for the request! So sorry this took so long to come out. I got lazy and accidentally deleted half of my work while writting. But this was a fun request! I got to look into honey badgers, who are such interesting animals, and (Y/n)'s personality is based on a honey badger!

Living on the streets of Fontaine isn't as bad as people make it out to be. Sure you have to scavenge for food people have already eaten, fight other kids ten times your size, and be ridiculed out in public by people for your ears and tail but you hide them under a coat so it's no problem.

Your days are usually slow with you getting out of bed at whatever time. You then head to Café Lutece in the morning you swipe food off empty tables, which are pretty tasty, sometimes. You then go down to Fleuve Cendre and see if there are any jobs that can earn you a few mora. These jobs usually require you to deliver illegal luggage somewhere, slip something in someone's drink, or whatever the commissioner wants. These jobs are usually highly illegal but they pay so well that you don't complain. Not to brag but you were pretty good at it. After that, you get lunch depending on how much you earn from the commission. Once nightfall comes you have to go and find a place to sleep. There's one spot on the roof of the court that every street kid in the city fights over and you are always the one to take the spot. No kids in Fontaine have weapons that they can fight you with, but you have your claws. These can rip and shred any kid who tries to take your night spot. These street kids know to leave you and your spot alone for the most part.

But today when you got to your spot you found three young adults sitting in your night spot. Two boys and one girl. The first boy was wearing a top hat with clean-looking clothes. The second boy was wearing some kind of sailor hat. The girl was some sort of hybrid with a cat because she had cat ears and a tail, her outfit was similar to the first boy's outfit but blue. These were definitely not street kids and you had no idea how they got here.

"AY!" You yelled the three turned around in surprise. "Get out of my night spot unless you wanna pay for hospital bills tomorrow."

The first boy stood up "So sorry about this, we will be finished in a min-,"

"No." You snap at him "You'll finish now or I kick your asses all the way to Sumeru and back."

"You know you shouldn't be talking like that to people who are much stronger than you." He flashed his pyro vision to you and the girl and the other boy does so too. He gave you a threatening smile. "Give us a minute."

Fun Fact about honey badger: It is said to be the most unbothered animal as stated in the Guinness Book of World Records. So unbothered in fact that they go up against lions and venom snakes.

So when the man threatened you, the words went in one ear and came out the other.

"So? You got a rock that glows. You're still in my spot."

"You're quite the feisty one aren't ya?"

"..."

The girl sighed and got up. "It's not worth it Lyney. Let's go," And with that, they stood up and left your spot. They only moved across the roof away from you but it was enough away where you could sleep without hitting them.

As you lay down you could feel those people's eyes on you. You supposed they were still mad at you for making them move but you didn't care as long as they didn't bother you.

The next morning you wake up, expecting all three people to be gone, instead, you find the cat girl and the quiet boy gone. But the giant top hat man is still there. He was sat, just staring at you.

You thought of saying something to him, but you didn't care all that much. If he was gonna be a creep let him. As long as it didn't impede on your day. You continued with your day as usual. The first thing you needed to do was get some breakfast. There was a nearby cafe, Café Lutece, where you could wait for people to finish eating and then take their leftover food. Their outside seating made it easier for you to grab food

As you got up from your "bed" the boy also got up at the same time. He had an unmoving smile on his face. It unsettled you to your core. But you carried on with your day thinking he would leave. But no instead he followed you to the cafe. You couldn't help but sneer in disgust at the people there they were all dressed in the finest clothes and eating the most expensive food and they paid no mind to the suffering population of Fontaine. You staked out in the bushes. Your unusually thick skin helped you not feel the branches poking you.

As you stalked and waited for someone to leave, the top hat guy sat down at the shop. A few people leave but the waiters are quick to take the extra food before you can grab it. It looked like you're gonna have to skip breakfast for today until the top-hat guy left his table. You race to his table and find that most of if not all the food has remained untouched. There was a chocolate croissant, grapes, and bread with a side of jam. You stuff your mouth with food immediately for some reason it tastes better than usual.

Now with your stomach full you headed down to Fleuve Cendre to see if there were any jobs. For some reason, the man in the top hat is still following you. He seems harmless enough and you don't care enough to ask him what he's doing.

When you get down to Fleuve Cendre you are lucky enough to find someone who will pay you 5,000 mora to jump some rich asshole, you take to job without a second thought. That amount of mora could pay for a whole week of lunches! The commissioner hands you a picture of the guy with his name on the back and a letter. He gives you his instructions and sends you off to complete the commission.

You were about to head off to beat up the victim when you realized that the top-hat guy was still following you. He kept a good distance from you but you could still tell he was following you. You had to find a way to lose him.

The commissioner said the guy worked on the northside of the court so if I get this top hat guy lost on the west side of the court you can hope that you'll never have to see him again. Right next to the entrance of Fleuve Cendre, there was an ally that had pipes that were easy enough to climb up to the roof.

You put your plan into motion and quickly ran to the ally as soon as you were out of the sewers. You looked behind yourself to see if he was chasing after you but to your surprise, he was slowly walking towards you. Once you got to the ally you jumped from wall to wall, latching onto the piping as you scaled the wall. When you got atop the roof you wasted no time a sprit off to the location the commissioner gave you.

Arriving at the meet point you saw that the man in the picture was already there. The man's name was Louis and he had scammed some big gang out of the mora he promised them. All you had to do was to give him some lame excuse to get him to a secluded spot where you could beat the guy up.

Jumping down from the roof you ran up to the guy in a hurry. "Sir! Please! I need your help!" You exclaim while tugging on the man's sleeve.

"What?! Don't touch me! Gods, you street rats are filthy!" So he's a man who only cares about himself? You were originally gonna say that your friend got injured and you needed to help carry her to a hospital, but you have another idea now.

You release your hands from the man's clothes and bow to him. "I'm so sorry sir, but my master has injured himself. Please I need help carrying him to a hospital,"

The man looks hesitant "Who is your master anyway?"

Oh shit. I didn't think about that. I just need the name of a rich person. "U-uh, his name is uh, Abreo! Sir Abreo!" You heard it from a girl while she was having her breakfast this morning.

"S-sir Abreo!" That name seemed to do the trick as his demeanor immediately changed. "Well, why didn't you say so! Lead the way!"

Perfect everything was going to plan. Once he was cornered in the ally you sprinted forward and ran Louis straight into the wall. It was a blur after that. When you came to Louis' body was full of bruises, long claw marks, and blood dripping down his nose. The commissioner said to leave the letter they handed you in his hand and to take a picture of the guy beat up. Once you did that you left the scene without a second look back. If you did look back, you would have found top hat guy admiring your work.

Once you got back to the commissioner you showed him the picture that you got at the job. He gave you a pat on the back and handed you your sack of mora. You decided to get yourself a little treat and went to a nearby vending machine that sold Fonta. This would have been the plan if you had not been stopped in your tracks by that guy in the top hat blocking the exit of Fleuve Cendre.

He was leaning against the wall facing you while playing with a deck of cards. "You know, I haven't seen someone with features like you before." the strange man lifted himself off the wall and started taking slow steps toward you. "Nor, have I seen someone who can take on a full-grown man at your age with only raw skill. And from the looks of it, not strength from how weak you look"

Wait, how did he know you did that? Had he still been following you? And did he just call you weak?!

"I've been following you around for the day and I have to say you would make a perfect addition to the house!"

"Hm? What are you even talking about stalker?" You quirked your eyebrow still wondering what he was talking about.

"The house of the hearth of course!" He said, "We take in orphans, such as yourself, who we see have the potential to thrive in the house! And you have earned yourself an invite with that show of talent today!"

"Nah, I don't do orphanages they'r-,"

"We offer three meals daily and a warm place to sleep."

"Deal."

The house wasn't what you expected. You learned that the boy who recruited you was named Lyney. He directed you to a shared room where you slept with ten other kids about your age, you each had your own bed so you didn't have to fight each other for one. And it was apparently a rule not to fight each other?! It was a strange house for sure.

You met with some of the younger kids. They poked and pulled at your tail and ears. They asked so many questions like:

"Why do you have ears and a tail?"

"Because I'm a hybrid."

"Of what animal?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

"Uhh..."

"Why doesd your hair have two strips and not three?"

"I-,"

"I like the number three better than two so you should have two strips!"

"Uhhhhhhhhh...."

"Okay, guys let's leave (Y/n) alone and stop asking them so many questions." An older girl said as a younger boy pulled you away from the children. These two were the others on the roof that night. You learned that the girl's name was Lynette and the boy's name was Freminet. They were both the quiet type and didn't speak that much, you didn't know if it was because they were shy or introverted. But something was telling you that it was both.

"Sorry about that," The girl spoke, "They get rowdy when they meet new people who look different."

"It's fine,"

An awkward silence falls around you three until Freminet speaks up "So, um how are you adjusting?"

"I'm alright, it's weird switching from the streets to a warm house."

"Tell me about it," Lynette said, "When Lyney and I moved from streets to here we were having trouble sleeping a full 8 hours."

"You lived on the streets?" You're surprised considering how well they've adjusted to high society, being famous magicians and all.

"Yeah, the spot where we met you was actually where we used to sleep. We went back there to show Freminet where we used to live,"

"And he was appalled by the condition we had to go through!" A voice behind them said over dramatically. You pecked over the siblings' shoulders to see Lyney with his hand over his heart like he was wounded.

Lynette rolled her eyes at Lyney and Freminet began to defend himself.

"I-i did not! When did I say this to you?!"

"I heard it at every place we showed you 'Oh poor Lyney and Lynette!' 'They went through such hardship!' "

Lynette scoffs at this "Lyney, stop that,"

He sighed and relaxed his body "I'm only teasing dear sister! I just like teasing our little Freminet." The magician says while pinching the younger boy's cheeks.

"I'm not that much younger than you you know?" He says swatting his brothers hand from his cheek

"Yes, but you'll still be shorter than me," Lyney says with a wink. "Anyways, I came here to grab (Y/n)!"

"Hm? What for?" you ask curiously.

"I am going to assess your fighting skills." You say goodbye to Lynette and Freminet for now and Lyney walks you to the training grounds. This place is filled with all types of weaponry from swords to crossbows. You're sure that this one room would be enough weapons for an army.

"Here," Lyney snaps you out of your trance and hands you a wooden sword. "The first person to step out of the circle loses."

"Hm? What's this for?"

"For your fighting assessment,"

"Nah, I don't need it," You say as you toss the sword to the side. You honestly have no idea how to use it. "I just need nothin' but my bare hand and 2 minutes. I can push you out of the circle."

"Oh my, confident are we? Why? You think I'll get scared?"

"You said it, not me. If it makes you feel safer, you can use a real sword if you want." Even if the sword hits you it not like it would cut you, you have incredibly thick skin that can't be pierced by just any blade. But you weren't gonna tell him that.

"Hehe, the fight begins when I say 'go'." He says ignoring your last statement.

"Three," He gets into a fighting stance.

"Two," You do the same and you bring your fist up.

"One." You take a breath from your mouth.

"...Go."

Lyney rushes fast at you with his sword ready to hit your face. You block with your arm and Lyney's sword lands on your forearm. He attempts to use the sword to push you backward and out of the circle. But you manage to stay in place by grounding your feet.

You lean your arms back and push Lyney away from you. "Impressive I didn't expect this much strength from you." You ignore his comment and decide to attack first this time. You speed towards Lyney he raises his sword expecting you to go for the face but instead at the last second you drop down on your knees and chop the inside of his knees causing him to fall on his knees.

"HA! Got you!" You say as you grab Lyney by his shoulder and walk him out of the circle.

"Impressive!" He said with a smirk.

"I won! That's one point for me!" You say proudly.

"Actually, I won."

"What?! No! I won fair and square I got you to leave the circle."

"Uh-uh," He said shaking his finger at you. "I said the first person to leave the circle loses. And when you decided to drag me out of the circle you also stepped outside of it first. So I won that round!"

"W-what?! That's not fair!"

"It's perfectly fair! Come on let us go again and I won't go as easy on you this time." He said with a wink. "And this time try not to lose unknowingly

"That was a one-time thing!" You bark back at him.

After a bit of Lyney's training assessment, he excused you to go have some lunch. He said he had to practice a magic performance with his twin Lynette and his brother Freminet. The lunch for today was a beat salad, creamy pasta, and a warm slice of bread on the side. But your favorite was the honey packet. And good archons you LOVED this damn packet!

The first day you were here you were sat down in a fancy room with a lady discussing what would happen when you entered the hearth and the rules you would have to follow. Bored by her incessant yapping you looked around the room for entertainment. Your eyes landed on a small pack that came with your tea you had been served. It had words written in yellow lettering on it. You couldn't read so you had no idea what it said. You ripped the thing open and watched as a golden substance leaked out of it. You sniffed it first, it had a sweet and kinda fruity smell to it. You then licked it. The golden substance coated your tongue in a sweet thick coat. You were entranced by the taste.

"Mx. (L/n)?" The woman across from spoke up. "Are you alright?"

You jump up from your seat launching yourself from your seat to the lady across from you. "WHAT IS THIS SUBSTANCE?!" You shove the pocket in her face while the golden syrup drips onto your hand.

The lady jumped back in surprise, "M-mx. (L/n), please calm yourself!"

"I have never tasted anything so amazing in my life." You stared at the small packet as if it hypnotized you.

"It is called honey..."

"Honey..." You sit back down while you keep staring at the golden liquid.

"Yes, can we get back to the matter at hand please? Now, other operatives will..." After that, she talked about some other thing but you could not think about anything else but the honey packet in front of you and took small licks so you could savor the flavor of the packet.

After the meeting, you specifically asked the person serving food every day if they could give you honey packets.

Back at the present time you were enjoying your lunch when other orphans from the hearth entered the cafeteria. To your surprise, they made it a point to sit next to you every day. Specifically Celine and Adrien, (They are not cannon in the games they are oc) Celine is close to you in age while Adrien is one of the adults that have aged out of the orphanage but still works for the fatui.

"Hey, little critter." You feel a hand come down on your head and ruffle your ears. You grumble at the gesture. You look behind you to see Adrien, he's the only one in this place who dose that to you and it annoys you so much.

"Adrien, stop doing that too (Y/n)." You turn back around to see Celine sitting across from you. She also places a book next to her and opens it.

"I would but I how can I leave these cute ears alone without any love." He says as he grabs your ears and shifts them back and forth on your head.

"Hey! Stop that dude!" You finally speak up and swat away his hands from your head.

He sighs dramatically and flops into the seat next to you. "Fine, I'll stop... But just for today." He says with a wink.

A different voice appears across from you "Maybe they'd let you touch them more if you just asked first." Freminet speaks as he places his plate on the table next to Celine.

"Nah, this is more fun." Adrien chuckles.

"Even if you did ask I still wouldn't let you touch them."

"Oh hi, Freminet," Celine greets the boy, "Are Lyney and Lynette on a mission right now?"

"Oh, no I just wanted to sit here today." He said sheepishly. You all continue to eat your lunch with light conversation when you turn to your side to see Lyney looking over the cafeteria when his eyes land on your table. He starts rushing towards the table.

"Shit!" Freminet ducks under the table in a rush.

"Hm? Frem what are you doing?" Celine looks down on him with her mouth full of food.

"Just ignore me! Pretend I'm not here!" He says in a hushed tone.

Just as he says that Lyney appears behind you with Lynette close behind him. "My dear siblings! Have you seen Freminet we need him to serve as a part of our show! And I believe I just saw him over here for a second."

You give him a questioning look and, unintentionally, your eyes go from Lyney's eyes to the ground under the table.

"Thank you (Y/n)!" Lyney says still with his creepy smile on his face.

"Wait what?" You say confused about what you did but then Lyney crouches down and yanks a pair of legs from under the table. He drags Freminet from under the table and hoists him on his shoulders.

"(Y/n) how could you!" He says as he reaches out for you. You watch as Lyney and Lynette exit the room with an unwilling Freminet on his shoulders.

Man, this is a weird ass family.

More Genshin Impact Stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚

More Lyney Stories ₊˚.༄

More Lynette Stories ₊˚.༄

More Freminet Stories ₊˚.༄

Sorry I took a small break because I had an exzama break out and couldn't move my arm for 5 days because of the pain. But here is an extra long one for you all! Thanks for reading <3

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Protagonists Who Would Be The WORST Picks For Your Zombie-Fighting Team

Oh no it's the zombie apocalypse! Before you assemble your zombie-fighting team of Cosmere protagonists, please make sure to read this list. I'm going to tell you which protagonists you should absolutely not choose.

(And yes, protagonists! It would be easy enough to steer you away from the villains, being all "Don't pick Straff. He will feed you to the zombies" or "Don't pick Sadeas. He will betray you and leave you to be eaten by the zombies." But I'm just talking about the good guys here. The ones who would be bad choices anyway.)

1. Kaladin

I know, I know. But listen. Kaladin's "final girl" energy is TOO strong. If you have Kaladin on your team, and if you (Stormfather forbid!) dare to befriend him, then the last thing you'll ever see is his tearful, bloody face calling out for you as you are dragged away by the zombie hordes. Later he'll be forced to shoot you in the head as you shamble mindlessly toward him. He's crying more. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do that to Kaladin.

2. Raoden

Raoden has zombie experience! But it's the wrong zombie experience. Raoden will be midway through his explanation about how we can all live together if we can just establish a dependable food source and give ourselves a Purpose, when a zombie will arrive and bite off his arm. Better no zombie experience than the wrong zombie experience, I say.

3. Pre-ending Ann

Yes, Ann gets corrective lenses by the end, but mid-novel Ann should not join your zombie-fighting team. She has a gun and she's very excited to shoot it, and she cannot hit a zombie even when there are 500 zombies marching shoulder-to-shoulder. Ann, put down the gun! You're just wasting bullets!

4. Hoid

Hoid is just a risky pick for your team, because Hoid is not a team player (unless he is). Hoid has his own purposes for being on your zombie-infested planet, probably trying to gain zombie magic or something, and if push comes to shove he's stealing a rocket and getting out of there.

5. Wayne

Wayne is another risky pick, given that his superpower is Extreme Empathy. You're going to come out of your base one morning and see Wayne eating something that you hope is red jello while wearing a hat that you're pretty sure you saw the zombie that killed Doug wearing yesterday, and he's muttering to himself about brains. It's probably fine, but you also probably don't need that additional stress in your life.

6. Lirin

Lirin is an extreme pacifist. How far does that extend? Would he even be willing to kill zombies? Maybe, because they're already dead. But that's not really what you need to be concerned about. Someday, as you sit before him, cradling your zombie-bitten arm and crying, "Pull the trigger, Lirin!" he will absolutely not do that for you. At best he will toss you a bottle of morphine to numb the pain of your horrible transformation. And if your team member isn't willing to kill you before you transform into a horrible man-eating monster, then he's not the team member for you.

7. The Stormfather

The Stormfather has one response to world-ending scenarios and one response only: blow it all away in a big fucking storm. You're final words will be "STORMFATHER PLEASE DROWNING KILLS HUMANS BUT DOES NOT ACTUALLY KILL ZOMBIIIIIIEEEEEES." Horrible.

8. Huck

Huck is just a little rat! A little fuzzy guy. You're gonna put a little rat through the zombie apocalypse??

Maybe you're the real monster.

[alienwithobsessions]

Cooper Howard HEADCANNONS:

Pre-war Cooper

- Thoroughly enjoys exploring your body with his hands. Will finger you while he's on the phone with his agent, smirking as you try to keep your moans quiet.

- Quite into role-play in the bedroom as any of his movie/stage characters. Will sneak props from the set for you to wear, but always a single piece of the outfit - so you end up playing a damsel in distress with only a floral choker on, or a pair of sparkly earrings.

The Ghoul

- Won't abide anyone touching his hat...unless it's you while you're riding him, and then only if he puts it on you. If you attempt to wear it any other time, expect to be "punished" at length.

- Always hopes for a safe enough place to sleep (no keeping watch in shifts) so he can hold you at night, preferably without his gloves on. Which part of you he holds varies depending on how much you teased him that day.