#dentist!evan

[rudamaruda520]

Barty: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You've become far more powerful since we last crossed paths...

Evan: Please stop, there's literally a sink right next to you. One more stunt like that and you'll have to find another dentist.

[regulus-books]

wc: 396

warnings: none

notes: for the loveliest @foursaints, who always scratches my brain with their lovely rosekiller. also, I'll be doing marauder x reader oneshots over on @goldensunbathed, give me reqs for anyone marauders or even poly!marauders<3

Evan likes his job, he really does, but in this moment he questions why he spent so much time in school for it.

It's a normal day, a few patients, and then he gets to clean up, and leave. The secretary, his sister, Pandora, told him he's got one more person and then he can be done for the day.

When that patient is nearly 35 minutes late, shows up with messy hair and hickeys on his skin, Evan almost just up and leaves.

Barty Crouch Jr.

"Hello?" Pandora says, waving her hand in front of Evans face. "I already brought him back and sat him down."

"Thanks." Evan says, sighing and snapping on his gloves before walking back into the room, closing the door behind him.

Barty looks up at him and grins. "Where's my usual dentist? Clearly we'll have some tension, huh? Don't want you plucking out any molars, I need those." Evan sighs once more and sits on the rolling stool, scooting it underneath the head of the A-dec chair.

"How many times do you brush your teeth in a day?" Evan chooses to get straight into the appointment, not wanting too much small talk from his ex boyfriend.

"Should I be counting?"

"It shouldn't be hard. Twice, maybe three times a day," Evan takes the electrical toothbrush off of the tray and leans back to grab the toothpaste they use. "Is mint fine?" Evan asks, already opening the plastic lid of the toothpaste.

"Surprise me. You know how I like surprises." Barty's grin never falls, unfortunately for Evan.

"Alright, lean back and open your mouth."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Rosie?" Heat rises up in Evan, he tries not to let Barty get to him, but he knows how that nickname makes him feel.

"Can you just be mature for five seconds, Junior? Why do you always have to make me feel so fucking shitty about myself? Why do you always have to torture me, huh?" Barty doesn't shrink back, no, instead he reaches up and wraps his palm around the back of Evan's head, pulling him down and smashing their lips together.

"I love it when your mad at me," Barty says, not breaking the kiss.

The first to pull away is Evan, but when he sees the slightly faded look in Barty's eyes, he has to go in for more.

[orchideous-nox]

Dentist Evan but when Barty sits down in his chair he tells the nurse to leave and instead of doing his normal procedure from his stool, he straddles Barty's lap. When Barty questions if he does all his oral exams like this, Evan tells him to stfu and sits there studying his teeth and muttering how beautiful they are under his breath before telling him that he needs to come back after hours for....reasons

[ofspacecrafts]

I like thinking about Tommy being the touchy-feely one. He always has to have some part of his body on Buck. Hand on the small of his back when they navigate through a crowd or are walking in/out of somewhere, intertwining their fingers while they walk down the street, bumping their knees at a dinner table, arm around his shoulders while they watch a movie, light touches to the elbow when they’re in a group.

He’s naturally the big spoon. He’s bigger, he’s used to it and he loves it bc he loves touching Buck. Buck revels in the new experience.

But one night after a truly terrible day , Buck tells Tommy to face the opposite way. He pushes himself so tightly against Tommy’s body , wraps his arm around his waist and presses kisses to his shoulder . Tommy relaxes into his touch and Buck whispers in his ear “It’s okay. I got you.”

The tears come for a little while but Tommy feels so safe and loved that it doesn’t take long for him to drift off to sleep.

[ellecdc]

I went to get my teeth checked today and kept on thinking abt how Lily would be a great dentist. Gentle hands, nonjudgmental, would be so accommodating to any requests or requirements you have like noise cancelling headphones or something…. And she would be soooo against the trend of recommending treatment purely based on cosmetics rather than need. Like we have doctor Remus how about dentist Lily 😂😂

you know what? this was so cute that I had to write it - also, the conversations between reader and Lily are real-life conversations I've had with dental hygienists so be nice to me, I'm still recovering hahhaah

dentist!Lily Evans x reader who goes for a routine checkup

CW: written with a fem!reader in mind and references to a medieval woman accused of witchcraft but should be gender neutral/no pronouns used otherwise, reader has a brother for plot purposes, reader had braces growing up for plot purposes, reader has a bar on the back of their teeth for plot purposes, also.....reader doesn't floss DON'T JUDGE

You were lying back on the large vinyl-covered dentist chair pondering what exactly it was about dentists that caused so many people anxiety.

This was obviously a distraction, though, as wondering why dentists were so fear-inducing was far more comfortable than thinking about how anxious you felt right now.

You supposed that as a species, humans were wholly dependent on their mouths; it was how they ate, how they emote, a method of air intake, and also how they communicate. For hunter-gatherers, an injury to one's mouth could very well have led to dire consequences.

Of course, something happening to one's mouth wouldn’t necessarily leave them completely helpless in today's day in age with modern medicine.

And though you may not have been a hunter-gatherer, you were also decidedly not a medieval woman accused of witchcraft awaiting your trial by ordeal. But the longer it took Dr. Evans to join you - leaving you ample time to consider the various torture looking devices while reclined on this chair that looked like it could sprout restraints at any moment - the more you began to feel an awful lot like a medieval woman accused of witchcraft awaiting her trial by ordeal. 

The sound of the door clicking shut interrupted your spiralling as you tried to sit up straighter in your chair only to slide back down to your original position. 

But perhaps this wasn’t your trial by ordeal; perhaps they’d already gone ahead and executed you and you were actually sitting in heaven’s dentist office because surely the beautiful woman adorned in scrubs standing before you with long, thick red hair which had been artfully plaited away from her face was an angel? 

You realised belatedly that you’d been sitting there with your mouth agape staring at her instead of confirming your name for her.

“Yes! Yes, erm, sorry.”

But the angel - Dr. Evan’s, she introduced herself as but insisted you just call her Lily - simply waved you off and pulled a stool over to sit beside you. 

“No need to be sorry! Between the constant whirring of machines and my penchant to speak a mile a minute, it can be hard to keep up sometimes. So! You’re here for a routine cleaning?”

You nodded dumbly at her as she pulled a surgical mask up over her mouth and nose, mesmerised by the way it seemed to accentuate the brilliant green of her eyes which only appeared even greener when she smiled at you.

“Alright, well let’s take a peek at what we’re working with here, shall we?” She asked as she encouraged you to lay back after putting a bib on you like some nappy-wearing child.

Oh god; you didn’t know an angel was going to be looking in your mouth! You were expecting some grey-haired bored doctor with a superiority complex; now an angel will know you don’t floss!

“Wait!” You shouted abruptly, startling the angel doctor and encouraging her to put some space between you, though she schooled her expression very quickly. “Okay, listen, I’m sorry. But you see, I had braces as a kid, and they put these bars behind my teeth! You know, to keep them from shifting? And they’re great - so great, no complaints truly; they’ve done their job, see!” You paused to bare your teeth at her like some socially awkward chimpanzee. “No shifting at all. But! But, you see, my teeth are so sodding close together now - again, totally fine! - but between that and the glue and the bar, it’s sodding impossible to floss. Oh shit I just said sodding to a doctor! Oh my god I just said shit! I’m sorry! I just don’t want you to think I’m some plebeian who doesn’t care about dental hygiene because I do! But I honest to god, hand to my heart walked around with a piece of floss stuck between my teeth for three days after I tried last so I just...sorry…”

You fought to catch your breath and it took you possibly too long to realise the angel doctor Lily was laughing at you; the mask impeded the smile but the crinkles in the corners of her emerald eyes and the gentle shaking of her shoulders gave her away. 

“I’m so sorry, I honestly thought you were about to tell me you were going to throw up on me - which would be fine! Worse things have happened quite frankly.” She chuckled as she seemed to relax back into her stool. “Why don’t we take a look?”

Burning with embarrassment, you did as you were told and opened your mouth immediately, wondering if it was at all possible for her to feel your jack-hammer pulse through the barely there fingertips pressed to your jaw as she peered into your mouth. 

“Well honestly, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of build up anyway! I wouldn’t have known you’d not been flossing.”

“Wait, really?” You asked then, causing her to move her gaze from your mouth to your eyes. 

“There’s a little bit of plaque but nothing out of the ordinary! Basically what I would expect to see from someone coming in for a routine check up.” She confirmed before taking one of her torture devices (a dental scraper) to your teeth as you watched her auburn brows cinch closer together. “Your teeth really are close together.” She murmured mostly to herself.

“I wasn’t lying.” You defended quickly, earning you a bright and bubbly laugh from the doctor. 

“Sorry; force of habit. I hear a lot of ‘I absolutely brush my teeth twice a day’ and ‘I floss regularly’ when I can easily see that neither of those things are true.”

After she had explained what she was going to do, you spent the better part of the appointment with her fingers shoved into your mouth. 

“I do not envy your orthodontist; you have a very small mouth.”

You snorted inelegantly at that as she removed her hands from your face. “My brother would disagree.”

You were rewarded with another tinkering laugh as she inspected her cleaning. “Don’t worry about the flossing hun; I’d rather you come in and have me do a cleaning for you than to hurt yourself or damage your teeth trying to floss.”

“I’m not in trouble?”

“Even if I did have the authority to scold you, you would not be in trouble. But I hope to see you in another six to twelve months for another cleaning!” She said as she walked backwards from the room with one last (now maskless) smile in your direction.

Suddenly, dentists didn’t seem so scary, and you found yourself rather looking forward to your next appointment.

[foursaints]

ok so i was at the dentist today and obviously thinking about rosekiller and dentist!evan and this convo between reg and barty where regulus asks barty if he wants to hang out tomorrow and barty is like nah i can’t i have a dentist appointment so reg is like ok what about after your appointment and barty is like no it’s kind of a whole day affair. the appointment is like three hours long and then i’ll be loopy from the gas. so reg is like oh are you getting surgery? and barty is like ?? no just a routine cleaning. and regulus is so horrified like barty a routine cleaning should only take 40 minutes tops and you do not need to be put under for it and barty is like no i know but i like it when he straps my head to the chair so i can’t move if it hurts and reg is so ready to report evan but barty is like no you don’t get it it’s cute when he does it

meanwhile my dentist is like “how we doing so far” and i’m staring into the fluorescent lights like “mmhm great” *thumbs up*

[bloodbruise]

evan constantly testing the boundaries of how much blood he can draw from barty. he wants to see him woozy, wants to watch his head loll against the wall, to feel his pulse race under his skin. he watches barty with a clinical eye and a bitten lip, trying to hold back a small smile. because how could he not? when barty lets him push and push, always just a bit further than last time. 

and lily, who’s dropping barty off at his weekly ‘appointments’ is seriously concerned barty has a fatal disease that he’s not telling her about because he’s getting his blood drawn so often. but he's always reassuring her with the same story, “its just evan running a few more tests”

barty thinks evan is so good to him too, both coaxing and commanding as he swaps out vials at the leur lock of the needle. “dont you trust me? just one more barty,” he urges, voice almost eager. bartys head is foggy from the blood loss, nodding and murmuring with slurred affection, “course rosie. trust you,” as he watches the blood drain from the crook of his elbow.

[oh-my-damn]

If anyone has ever wondered what teeth look like underneath veneers (considering those teeth are not brushed or cared for for however long the veneers have been there) see below

Quick reminder Chris Evans has had veneers for a good 20 years at this point. Next time you find yourself thirsting over him remember this is what his teeth actually look like... And sometimes they do indeed fall out 🫣

Ps I was shocked and I love Tana for being real enough to post this lol youre welcome

[seveneyesoup]

if you think it’s not him then tell me who it is. don’t say chris evans’s dad bc he’s not even famous he just has a son who is. unless you’re voting option 2 in which case i’ll allow it

[multishipperofgaydeadwizards]

regulus evans

[faglaios]

i got my tooth filled after years of it being broken (old filling broke out) and i am SO fucking happy and relieved oh my god

[shadcwbitten]

//evan's "survived childhood" verse has been officially updated!

[moonysfavoritetoast]

i hate doctor appointments

[onlybuilt4expensivetaste]

I am your dennnntissst…

[foursaints]

it saddens me that hp is a text instead of an audiovisual medium because Barty Crouch Jr's Disgusting Sweaty Open-Mouthed Pervert Panting™️ is so so important to me

[milunalupin]

— 2:30pm

poly!marauders ft. lily evans x reader (platonic?) dental office!au ★ 400 words

"It truly made my skin crawl."

You shuddered as you retold your coworkers about walking in on one of the doctor's more intense surgeries.

"That's why I work up here, where it's clean." Lily chirped, pumping hand sanitizer onto her freshly manicured hands, rubbing it in more than what was usually deemed necessary.

"Well not always, there was that one patient who's gums wouldn't stop bleeding over the counter-"

"Peter, please!" Lily gasped, hastily rummaging through her desk drawers to find her antibacterial wipes.

"C'mon Pete, you know how Lily feels about invasive periodontal surgeries." the office hygienist, James, strolls up to the front with his current patient. "Now let's get Phoebe scheduled for her next cleaning, please."

While your coworkers handled the scheduling, you followed James to the back to help the assistant clean the rooms for the upcoming patients.

"Hey sweet tooth," Sirius grinned at you, perfect canines on display. "Did you get all dolled up for me today?"

You rolled your eyes in return and helped pick up the trash in the room while he collected the used tools. "I'm wearing the scrubs as you are, Sirius."

"And you're making them look fantastic. Sexy, if I may."

"You may not. But, you may finish setting up room four, that root canal should be here any minute."

You shook your head with smile as he huffed and turned on his heel. Tossing the trash in the bin on the way to the break room, you see Dr. Lupin leaning against the counter with his eyes closed, fingers curled around his steaming mug of coffee.

"Still not awake, Remus?" you teased, opening your locker to replace your scrub top with your fuzzy jacket.

His eyes slowly peeled open, "I've done a root canal and two extractions already, with another root canal on the way."

You send him a sympathetic smile as you go to leave the break room, but James blocks the exit, insisting that you two just have to hear his new joke. Remus and you exchange amused glances before letting James continue.

"What's a dentist's favorite time of day?"

The hygienist looked back and forth between the two of you with the shiniest grin, leaning in as if to tell you his biggest secret.

"Tooth hurty. Get it? Two-th hurt-y. Like two-thirty? Why aren't you guys laughing? I worked on that all—"

"I'm going on my lunch."