#denial is the first step

[arabian-batboy]

Can't believe Cassandra being called a butch is a canon thing.

[funkwallace]

I simply do not understand all of y'all getting upset about Izzy when he is absolutely Not Dead!

[boogey-blockers]

in honor of my most popular post

[hilariousrabbit]

Critic of Stage in Playful Land - The Worst Event in Twisted Wonderland

I'm not gonna lie, I had high hopes for this event. The cards were gorgeous, I loved the new outfits, and we even got new characters! I'm quite a huge fan of the gothic circus aesthetic, so I was even more hyped for what's to come. Of course the stakes would be high for something like this, but unfortunately...the execution of this event has completely brought it down.

This is gonna be a very long and angry critic, so beware! I might be mean too!

The translation screenshots provided are from Ekala on YouTube. TW: Insensitive portrayal of human trafficking

The first part of the event felt SUPER stretched out. I understand, the main cast may have been overwhelmed with homework and losing the basketball match against NRC. But I also feel like they could have summarized this quicker? Plus, Fellow Honest also talks A LOT. I know it was supposed to be extended flattery to the point where it became suspicious, but it was taking so long to get to the main point that I quickly became bored.

The character's reasons for going were also very strange...but let's focus on the Octavinelle twins for a second. Floyd and Jade wanted to visit the amusement park specifically because it seemed suspicious. The twins are seen as a very shady duo, and having conflict with an even shadier duo (Fellow Honest and Gidel) is bound to be something that would be super interesting to watch.

Similarly as to how Idia played a crucial part in the Masquerade event, I thought they would have a larger role in this story, and I was disappointed when they just frolicked around the amusement park. They're not the type to just walk right into a dangerous territory without a plan/strategy, and it felt really weird seeing that happen. With them doing no preparations for this situation whatsoever, it feels like a waste to even state that detail in the first place. Speaking of that...I had heard some other fan theories on the role Ortho would play in this event. Some speculated that he would be representing the puppet in this event, as he isn't human. But then again, none of that ends up happening in the event because there was no thought as to how these characters would be used. My friend made an interesting point about the character choice in this event. They speculated it was just the company gathering up characters that haven't been in many events before book 7 ended, and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if this was the case.

When the main cast was exploring the park, it was just filler content. Nothing interesting happened, at all. They explored the park that was filled with references from the Pinocchio movie. Now if this was any other Disney film, I would be like "Yeah alright, that's from the movie. That's cool". But if you know what happens in the movie, then it might be a different story. I was deadass filled with dread when they put the references in, and I was so uncomfortable. Especially during this scene:

Also this was uncomfortable to see. Like okay...I didn't need to know that.

Anyone who watched the Pinocchio movie must have known that something bad was bound to happen (most likely some form of human trafficking). So when Fellow Honest's intentions for selling guests as wooden dolls was finally revealed, the entire story went from 0 to 100 real quick. And not in a good way. I know the previous filler was supposed to put us in their shoes, and how we as the viewer could also get distracted from the carnival's attractions. However, there should have been a better way to transition these two contrasting moods of the story. Plus, I can't help but feel like this is an unnecessarily cruel twist compared to the original movie. When it comes to more darker/sensitive topics such as human trafficking, there should be some sort of caution as to how they portray these kinds of things. I felt like this was solely added for shock value to make up for the slow pacing in the first parts of the event, and I can't help but feel really uncomfortable about this. I also REALLY don't like the possible implications of this line:

The insensitivity of the topic of human trafficking is further fueled by how the chase is played out. They needed a reason for characters to be kidnapped one by one, and I know that's usually how these types of events play out. But considering the severity of their situation, I feel very weird about it. Also, the characters are unusually calm about being sold as a literal slave? And the topic is just not dealt with seriously at all.

Important Detail: The Playful Land theme park functions as a ship, which sails away from land as soon enough guests are lured into the park. This is literally a human trafficking ship, there's no sugarcoating this.

Another part I'm upset about is how Kalim dealt with the entire situation. I'm unfortunately used to Twisted Wonderland dumbing down his character for cheap laughs but this has really gone off the rails. Ace gave him a clear reality check. They were at risk of being sold as dolls to whatever rich freak paid money for them. It was clear that Fellow Honest wouldn't converse on the subject over a fancy dinner. Honestly...I need you guys to read this for yourself.

So when Ortho came back, why in the world did Ace apologize to Kalim? Sure, what he said was harsh but it was completely true! There was a real threat to these characters and it wasn't being taken seriously.

For some reason, every time there's a chance for Kalim to develop, all of that is just completely reversed. Even if this was an issue before the event was released, I also feel like the writers forgot one very important thing...

Kalim has literally been kidnapped before! SEVERAL TIMES TOO!

He was targeted several times because he's from a rich family, they were planning to do malicious things to him for the sake of MONEY. Literally, just like Fellow Honest! He should know better than anyone else how horrifying it is to be taken away from the ones you love, and having no idea what will happen to you. But noooo instead he went full on Steven Universe on Fellow Honest! I'm not even taking the excuse that he's desensitized to it because he was putting the lives of his classmates at risk by giving this human trafficker a fucking chance. While he's not the smartest in the group, his character IS compassionate. How did he give more compassion towards this stranger he met a day ago instead of his own classmates?! How did they botch his character this badly?!

Lastly, when Fellow Honest's reasoning is stated in the story...I really have no words. He engaged in human trafficking, because his former teachers told him that he wasn't a good mage? ...I'm sorry? What the fuck kinda reasoning is that?!

He's literally committing a random act of malice because of his own personal issues. I can't even say that he was merely projecting his hatred onto students alone, as there were other guests attending the park too! I don't know how old they are, or if they're even in school anymore, so these are literally just random victims to me! It looks like the writers attempted to add a tragic backstory for this character in order to get the audience to have some sort of sympathy for him, but this just makes him look fucking stupid.

During this event, he talks about school being worthless and about how he and Gidel had a hard time surviving because they didn't get an education. Like...he chose to drop out of school. Of course that would happen! What was he expecting?

This event made an attempt to go into class dynamics and it's just...oh my god. Let's do a character comparison for a second. Ruggie grew up in a poor area, but because of that he was always on that grindset. Instead of bitching about how educated people are entitled and snobby, he takes advantage of every opportunity around him. And this includes the education at Night Raven College! He even takes financial advantage of others if necessary! He doesn't mind working for others as long as he can get something out of it.

Now let's talk about Fellow Honest's unique magic. I'm not gonna lie, I do think that concept is pretty cool! However, let's take a look at how it's implemented in the event. Now this is where I get critical of this. Having an increased amount of optimism doesn't mean being dumbed down. I'm still confused on how none of the characters were at least a little bit skeptical when walking through the park. There were red flags all across the park, free food, surprise gifts, a whole ass outfit for free, and a freaking 10 minute roller coaster! It was clearly too good to be true, so I can't understand how nobody among the main cast doubted it even for a second?

Also the reasoning why a magic-sensitive creature like Lilia didn't sense his magic before is so bullshit. I'm sorry, they just needed a reason for him to not notice this in order to make this event work.

And then when the cast started talking about how great school was for them, and even offering him admission to Night Raven College... Sorry just a moment, I just need to...

He is a literal human trafficker, and they decided to sympathize with him because of his bad school past?! WHAT???

I'm not even taking the excuse that the main cast are based off villains. HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY THAT AT ALL?!?!?! HOW???

We don't know how many people he has done this to. It's clear that this isn't the first time this amusement park has hosted customers. If this was merely his first attempt by means of survival then it might have been a different story, but he's experienced at this. There's a good chance that he has turned people into dolls before.

And then after a super prolonged chase scene and even more battles, we get to Kalim going full-on Steven Universe on Fellow Honest. Then his employer deducts his pay because of the damages in the park...and he finally had enough. He frees everyone, asks them to destroy the park, and now he's a good guy and he's gonna open a school!

...

Now I'm confused about this for a couple of reasons. So first of all, how did his opinion of schools completely do a complete 180 after talking with them for a few moments??? Change in a character doesn't occur this quickly, and we've seen this be the case with multiple characters in this game. Even if this was meant to be rushed for the sake of this being an event story, not even Rollo had a change in opinions after his event! So what was up with this?

The second reason is that Jack specifically stated in this event that his brother can't use magic but is still attending school. Magicless people DO get educated, and there's many pathways for them to choose from.

They aren't barren from society like Fellow Honest thinks they are. Take a look at the people in Epel's hometown and in Fleur city, they're pretty happy! I don't think the concept of schools for lower magic users/non-magic users is as revolutionary as they're making it out to be, and I feel like this is a super last-minute decision on the writers behalf.

Another thing is that...

Fellow Honest has NO REMORSE AT ALL for what he did.

He wanted to quit because he just didn't wanna work for the higher-ups anymore, not because he actually realized what he was doing was fucked up! Yeah sure, he might be focused on his new goal to open up a school. But is he just gonna ignore the fact that he fucking SOLD PEOPLE AS DOLLS? HUH? How am I supposed to wish him well on his newfound journey when this entire thing is just left unaddressed!

I'm also confused about another thing. Fellow Honest asked the cast to destroy the amusement park after he freed them, promising to turn the park boat around to Sage Island if they did so. This caused the boat to sink, and Ortho had to push the entire park back to shore.

They were able to get back to shore before any serious damage was done, so can anyone tell me why Fellow Honest and Gidel decided to ride off into the sunset WITH the park? It's literally sinking as they speak! So...huh? Where will they even sail to? It's pretty hard to not notice a huge ass amusement park sinking like this in the middle of the Sage Island, especially when it's right beside the port! What is going on?!

Who the hell even wrote this? I can't with this event man...

I know the lesson of this event is to realize the importance of going to school and being a good kid like in the movie. However...let's step back for a bit. The target audience for Twisted Wonderland is young adults and teenagers, and the fanbase DOES consist of these people. I don't think they need reminding of why education is a privilege...? Pinocchio was specifically made to scare little kids, so it just does not translate well to their target audience AT ALL. While I do love Twisted Wonderland, I really do feel like this is their worst event yet. I hate how almost all the characters were dumbed down to make this story work, and I don't care if it was because of Fellow Honest's unique magic. When it comes to sensitive topics, Twisted Wonderland is usually good at portraying them appropriately. So I really have no idea what happened with this event.

I think the company saw the positive reception with Rollo Flamme, and decided that this type of new character was something to be implemented yearly. Surprisingly, Fellow Honest and Gideon seem to have a large fanbase in Japan...so they probably took the popularity of these characters as their next material to work with. This could have worked out wonderfully if they were to treat this like its own story rather than a remake of the movie, but unfortunately that's not the path they decided to go with.

I have never felt this way about any other event, and the urge to write this critic was STRONG. I have no idea whether Yana wrote this, or if another employee just decided to pull some last-minute shit with this entire event. Regardless, I'm praying to god that this is merely a one-time occurrence and that the next event will be better. I think for the sake of my sanity, I need to pretend this event doesn't exist.

Thank you for reading my thoughts on this.

[coolfunstrawberry]

toothcup soulmate au would be so funny like. imagine everyone gets a human soulmate and then you get a fucking dragon as a soulmate AND your town also regularly hunts them down LIKE LMFAOOOOOOOO HOW UNLUCKY COULD YOU GET 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[compil]

A Reinterpretation of 1941

The idea of Aziraphale offering Crowley road head in return for rescuing him in 1941 is HILARIOUS, but given that (1) the Holy-Water-Incident-At-St.-James-Park came right before that and (2) Crowley mentioned Holy Water again at the church, perhaps Aziraphale was asking because he needed to verify where their relationship was at. He just got his tweed pants romanced the hell off him, what with the saving and the books... but with everything that happened at the park...

He believes in Crowley's goodness, of course, but after all they said about "fraternizing" and not needing each other in their last conversation a few decades back, he probably couldn't help but think that maybe Crowley was just being nice this time to get the holy water. Maybe all this sweetness— redirecting the bomb, tapdancing on consecrated ground, saving the first editions, offering him a lift home —is just for the purpose of buttering him up for the big request. And Aziraphale is fine with that — he opens the conversation to Crowley's request himself. After all, haven't all of their transactions under The Agreement gone the same way? I do something for you and you do something for me?

But then Crowley does something unexpected. He doesn't ask for anything in return, not even to keep the favor for a later day. He shrugs everything off, tells Aziraphale to forget it, and gets on with his errands. He doesn't even mention what happened at St. James' Park. He takes Aziraphale along on a little adventure, encourages his aspirations as a professional conjurer, goes along with the miracle-blocked bullet trick (btw, they haven't been on good terms for decades at this point), and wine-and-dines him by the candlelight at the end of the night. So Aziraphale has to confront the fact that Crowley isn't hanging out with him because he wants something. He's here because they're friends. He's being nice and sweet because he's kind and because he wants to be around Aziraphale again and maybe even because he missed him.

Throughout the entire minisode, we see Aziraphale struggling to even call them 'friends' — perhaps because he needs that plausible deniability (they are hereditary enemies) or perhaps because of the way they left things last time. But after everything that happened that night, he had to realize and accept this budding thing between them for what it is. Though hushed, he pointedly recognized, perhaps for the first time out loud, this thing between them that for so long they have refused to acknowledge — "I knew you would come through for me, you always do". "You said trust me. // And you did". Shades of gray.

[rachalixie]

oomf just revealed themselves as a furry...

[depravedangelbaby]

hehehehe i'm not supposed to masturbate.. sooooo, i think you all should tease me n send me gross asks n posts <3

[calamitoustide]

I have a question about the sad James/sad Harry au you just posted about. Regulus seems to be the one really holding them together since he isn’t dealing with the same things as the other two. So I’m just curious how you think James and Harry would handle it if he wasn’t there to help/able to help. Like how they would react/communicate if he suddenly died or if he was injured or in a coma or if he had a really important work trip or something and he couldn’t physically be there to support them/help them communicate

okay so like Regulus is holding them together but that's not to say that James is doing nothing and I do think they get to the point where James is okay and not just depending on Regulus for a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to helping with his and Harry's mental health.

That being said in this case James isn't as mentally unwell as you might think he is, at least not the idea I had. His feelings are a lot of his old feelings resurfacing. He's seeing his baby go through he same things he did, so he's looking back at it. He's feeling a lot of guilt, but it's not the same as it was. So in that case I do think James would push through for Harry and could hold him up knowing everything he knows. He is in a better place, and he does have coping strategies. He'd also probably be going to therapy since his teen years which would help him work through it to fully be there for Harry.

If it's the case where both James and Harry are slipping I still think James would step up, he just would put off all his feelings for Harry. No matter how tired he is or how awful he feels Harry comes first. If he doesn't have anyone to lean all he'd figure out a way to stand anyway. For Harry, he'd do it.

Also in my original idea it was divorced jily so there is also Lily who would be able to help with Harry, and Remus would come in and help James stay on his feet when Harry isn't with him.

I don't think there's any world in which James doesn't have a support system around him to help him with Harry, but I also think if it was just him and Harry in the house he'd step up. Maybe he wouldn't be the best at communicating how he feels at first. Maybe he wouldn't be the best at seeming open for Harry to come to him, but they would figure it out. In no world does James just give up on Harry especially since he knows how isolating it used to make him feel.

Also with Regulus, there would come to a point where Regulus needs to be taken care of too. There's only so much a person can take, especially when his main support system is down. They would need to figure it out for him too.

All in all, yes I do think they would figure it out. I think it would be hard and James isn't good at talking about it, making it really hard for Harry to talk about it. But if James needs to talk about it for Harry's benefit he'd talk about it. I feel like without Regulus he'd just come to that conclusion even sooner.

[quibbs126]

Oh yeah, so my grade for my Physics exam came out today

Turns out I got a 35 on it-

Actually you know what, question: how do I study for Physics? How do I understand Physics? Because I cannot understand it, but I need to pass it because I’m in engineering, it’s a required class, there’s no getting around it. But like, I just cannot understand it for the life of me

(Probably doesn’t help that I can’t understand my teacher and I only sort of pay attention in class)

[girl-bateman]

it sounds so obvious now, but im pretty sure my physical problems rn can all be traced back to the fact that my brain and body has been in a constant hypervigilance and cortisol overload for 3 months straight. the dizziness, the blackouts, the acne, the constant nausea, the giant eyebags and sudden crows feet ?? Like yeah, no shit thats what happens when ur every waking hour is the equivalent of that camille preaker crying gif

[myownprivatcidaho]

.

[suncast-moth]

:/

Gordon Ramsey fursona reveal!

[football-in-tuxedos]

What's distressing, but also important to understand, about JK Rowling hitting the "Denying trans people were targeted in the Holocaust" point is that it's kind of the last stop before she just goes full alt-right weirdo.

Joanne is denying the Holocaust (if a group was targeted, denying they were targeted is Holocaust denial) and that's going to lead to pushback from historians and experts. But Joanne is too deep in to believe what anyone who disagrees with her says, so she's just going to dismiss what those historians and experts tell her. And once she's disbelieving them about that one thing, well it's just a tiny step to start disbelieving them about other things.

This isn't by accident either, transphobic circles are swarming with far right agitators, ready to use hatred of trans people as an in to recruit people into their causes. They have handbooks for this sort of thing and they are, unfortunately, good at it. I suspect Joanne will be spouting coded versions of Great Replacement stuff by the end of the summer.

This is not a plea to try and pull Joanne out. She's too deep in, and even if she wasn't, she's already demonstrated an inability to examine her own prejudices, an unwillingness to hear criticism and a weakness to flattery. She is perfect recruitment bait for people who know what they're doing, and my impression is she's surrounded herself with people like that.

No, this is to understand two things: First is to use her as an example, to understand how a well meaning liberal can chase their own prejudices down a very dark rabbit hole. We are none of us immune to propaganda and even if we can't change what's happened to her, we can at least use it to protect ourselves.

And second is to understand that one of the main reasons you can't pull Joanne out of the transphobic pipeline is cause she is the pipeline now. She is the transphobic banner bearer now, she is funneling money and attention to these groups, she is their most famous celebrity and she is helping recruit people. Being able to show people how far she's gone, how deep into the right wing rabbit hole she's going, is important to help other people who still think she just "Had some concerns" know where her path leads.

[dnangelic]

She sets the little bundle of flowers carefully on Dai’s desk before school. A little bundle of chocolate tucked in the middle of the arrangement. She just wants to see him smile that adorable smile of his that makes his eyes sparkle so cutely! She then skips happily off to her own desk, she’ll let him figure out his secret admirer’s identity when he was ready.

@musedriven

and for him , it's a completely ordinary , hopefully boring day ...

--- minus the flowers and chocolate sat mysteriously on top of his desk .

he's gotten here early , which is something of a feat for him , but it isn't until one of his classmates beg him to move a little from behind that he realizes he's been standing slack-jawed in the doorway for a long sum of minutes already . what in the world was --- THAT ?!

a mistake ? a prank ? some kind of messed up delivery ? it had to be , right ?! the same girl that had entered behind him practically shares in his surprise : wha , niwa-kun ! is that yours ?! no way , i would have never thought that you would ever get something like that !

... ouch . it hurts a little , but there's nothing he can say when it should have been the truth . ' n-no , i ... ' congratulations ! the same girl chimes , and moving to put her bag away , the niwa's left to himself and the presents on top of his desk . already , he can feel the growing , burning heat in his cheeks ... he wouldn't have to run out of class and rush back in late after coming early all because of his transformations , right ?!

no , no ! he wouldn't transform , and something like this --- had to be a mistake ! but there's no letter , no left-behind evidence , absolutely nothing for anyone , even a great phantom thief to be able to tell who it was from , or 'properly' for . his head turns about the room as if someone might suddenly stand up and walk towards him to explain themselves , but when the bustle of the classroom remains the same as always , he turns his gaze back to the impromptu present , flushed and somewhat intensely into the bundle of flowers and chocolate both in his grasp .

it ... wouldn't hurt to hold onto everything , right ? maybe ... maybe someone would come running by for it . ( was it wrong to want to hope a little that someone wouldn't ? ) he slips everything carefully into his bag before putting it away . if he asked and questioned around a little after class , maybe someone would have an answer ... but --- he might not have had the courage to do something like that either .

in the end , maybe he'd just go home , and hope his nigh-practically psychic mother didn't suspect or interrogate him over receiving an anonymous gift for the very first time in his life . something like this would leave him puzzled and haunted --- but also just a little happy , for a long , long while .

[murdrdocs]

go about things the wrong way

description. LOGAN HOWLETT proves himself to be a bit of a hypocrite

includes. SMUT 18+, age gap (reader is implied to be mid20s, logan assumed to be mid30s), protected piv, denial is a river in egypt logan fucks them younger, logan calls reader "kid", insomnia trope, slightly brat reader, remnants of angst, set during early x-men

wc. 5k

a/n: photo creds unknown. title from how soon is now? by the smiths

You should be in your own bedroom. 

It’s a nice room, decorated better than your childhood room in your parent’s house, likely because you’ve grown since your mint green and chevron phase. It’s silent in your room, no other inhabitants except you and your pet fish that was somehow still hanging on. There’s no reason for you to leave your room, it has everything you need. But it’s not right. 

The loneliness is uncomfortable amidst your inability to sleep. It hovers over your bed, staring down at your shuffling frame as you try multiple positions, each one leaving you as restless as the last. You know that’s why you venture off to the kitchen, the search for companionship outweighing the desire for a treat. You just need to talk to someone, remind yourself that you aren’t all alone. There are other people like you, and you live with them. You’re safe. 

You ended up finding what you desired—a non-freezer burnt ice cream bar buried beneath frozen waffles, and a warm body to stand opposite of as you steadily made your way through it. 

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone else, maybe not even yourself, but you had hoped to run into Logan the entire time. Ever since his return you had been itching to get a glimpse of him, but between shadowing Storm, Scott, and Jean, and tending to whatever menial chore Professor Xavier tasked you with, you didn’t have any time for run-ins. Nothing but quick passing in the hallway where you were too shy to do much other than meet his eye for a second, wave, and then scurry along towards the end of the hallway. 

But you had gotten what you wanted when you heard the soft thud of feet followed by the sound of Logan speaking. 

“Is there another one of those?” 

You face him with your mouth stuffed with ice cream. It takes you a second to chew enough to speak around the food without making a complete fool of yourself in front of Logan. 

“This is the last one …” you swallow, ignoring the sting of the cold at the back of your throat. “Sorry.”

Logan shrugs like it’s no big deal and he steps to the fridge. You move out of the way, even though you weren’t really in the way at all, and try to be casual as you chew the remains of your bar, ignoring the sudden warmth in your body now that he’s here. 

Logan doesn’t say anything. You watch the top half of his body disappear as he reaches into the fridge for something, coming out after a minute and some soft shuffling later with a beer bottle in his hand. You don’t know when it got there, and you’re amazed that it was still there and not stolen by some eager teenager. You try not to stare as he takes his first sip, but you sneak a few glances. 

You finish your sandwich, throwing the wrapper out in the drawer trash can and trying your best to ignore Logan’s eyes on you the entire time. He gets halfway through his beer before he says something. 

Leaning against the counter, legs crossed at the ankle and one arm tucked across his chest, he asks, “Can’t sleep, right?”

You nod, not shocked at all that he has you pegged. It’s not unsurprising for a mutant in this place to be unable to sleep. 

Logan nods as if he understands and you know he does, you remember the incident with Rogue just a year or so ago, that and the stories you hear about him wandering the halls at night. It’s why you’d always been so eager to slip down here during restless nights, constantly hoping that this would happen to you. 

And now that it has happened, you don’t know what to do. There’s not much for you to discuss with Logan, the two of you don’t have all that much in common. He’s far older than you, for starters, at least a decade and a half on you from what you’ve gathered. He’s been gone for a while, but you think the others have caught him up on everything that he’s missed already. 

So you just build onto what you have. 

“I just can’t fall asleep. Every time I start, I shake myself awake.” 

Logan takes a swig from his beer and pulls his lips tight, a face of sympathy sliding over his features—eyebrows pinched, lips downturned, eyes a little narrowed. 

“Yeah?” You nod your head. “Sounds horrible, kid.”

Kid. You know you’re younger than him, it’s obvious, but you’re not a kid. You don’t see why he thinks of you that way. Rogue and Bobby are kids and you’re older than them. More mature, no longer a student but now practically a teacher. 

You don’t want Logan to see you as a kid. You know what you want him to see you as, but it seems to become more and more impossible by the day. 

You don’t say anything, lifting your foot enough to press the toe of your slippers into the cleaned grout between the tiles at your feet. 

“Tell you what,” he begins, promoting your head to lift, “next time that happens to you, you come find me, alright? I know how much it sucks to be alone like that so if you need me, come find me.”

That’s what you did. 

After you left the kitchen, finally letting your grin break free since no one was around to see it during the trek back to your room, you told yourself you would only go to Logan if you needed him. 

You tried to sleep, snuggling yourself in a cocoon of blankets and pillows around your head. You lit a candle, counted sheep, made up scenarios to doze off (ones that definitely didn’t involve Logan tenderly holding your hand and stroking your cheek and—), but nothing seemed to work. 

So you found yourself standing in the doorway of Logan’s bedroom, one hand still on the doorknob and the other toying with a loose thread at the bottom of your tee shirt. The bedroom is dark, save for the moonlight peeking through his opened curtains, but from the hallway light behind your back you can see Logan’s frame under the sheets. 

His back faces you until you harshly whisper his name, which at the call of he lifts his head, looking at you, and then rolls over completely to click the lamp on his nightstand on. 

“What’s wrong, kid?”

You feel so meek when you explain, like you are a kid, crawling to your parents after a nightmare. 

“You told me to come find you.”

His squint relaxes. His entire frame relaxes actually. He sits up, jerking his head in a beckon. You click the door shut behind you as softly as you can, approaching the bed timidly until you stand on the other side. 

And then you just hover. You stand there hesitantly, staring down at the slightly unmade side of the bed. Logan doesn’t say anything for a minute, but once the silence and hesitance stretches to an uncomfortable end, he speaks up, his voice groggier and raspier than it was before. 

“You gonna sleep from there? Is that some mutant power that I didn’t know about?” He says it like he’s teasing you, and when you look at him you can see the small smile on his lips. It’s similar to the one he sports when he’s messing with Scott but with more softness in his eyes. 

You scoff, trying to play it cool when Logan lifts the sheets for you and you climb under them. This side of the bed is cold and unused and you wonder if you’re the first person to use it. 

You get as comfortable as you possibly can. You fluff the pillow and create the perfect indent for your head, you pull the sheets up to your shoulders, you lay on your side and face the window, and then when Logan clicks the light off, you close your eyes and try to sleep. 

You don’t know how you thought this would be any better than struggling to sleep in your own bed, because it’s so much worse. 

In your own bed, you were left with the out-of-reach fantasies of Logan. You laid in bed, giggling to yourself as you imagined what it would be like to lay next to Logan. You filled your head with blurry images of Logan’s frame, what he would look like with his eyes closed and his face completely relaxed. You tried to imagine the heat of his body in the cold of your room, trying to change your body temperature just with a thought. 

But now it’s all right beside you, left there for you to catalogue so you could never forget this moment. 

The feeling of his body so close yet so far from yours. The sound of his breathing. The smell of his body wash and the way it lingered on his sheets. You’re finally in Logan’s bedroom, but you’re not getting what you want. You truly don’t think you ever will. 

It’s impossible for you to sleep now. You try to keep your tossing and turning to a minimum, only moving when absolutely necessary and doing so with tentativeness. You’re trying to be meticulous with your movements, all with a goal to disturb Logan as little as possible. You’re a guest here, after all. 

But even if he wasn’t an attentive mutant you knew he would’ve eventually gotten fed up. 

He calls your name, soft yet sounding like a warning, and you’re quick to apologize. 

He doesn’t say anything else for a second, then, “Whatever’s on your mind, squash it. Jus’ let it go.”

You don’t mean to sound as bitter as you do when you say, “Easier said than done.”

Logan shifts and turns around until he’s facing you. You stay facing the window. 

“What usually turns your mind off?” he asks. “A glass of warm milk?” 

When you laugh it’s halfhearted and maybe this is the final indicator that something about you is off. 

“Look at me.” You obey embarrassingly quickly. 

You can’t really see him in the dark, but the white light from outside illuminates the slope of his nose and the apples of his cheeks. You can sort of see his eyes too, the usually light green darker because of the environment, but the shadowy fan of his eyelashes is as distinct as usual. 

“Seriously, tell me what’s going on. Anything I can help you with?” He lets the question linger in the air for a second before adding on. “You need me to rough a few kids up? You being bullied?” He says it like a joke.

“No,” you say. 

Logan makes an ‘ah’ sound. “Yeah I’m sure you could handle yourself.” The sheets lift again. “Come ‘ere.”

Shit, shit, shit. 

You listen to him, scooting closer until you’re wrapped in Logan’s arms, enveloped in his warmth. It’s nice and comfortable, the sound of Logan’s heart right next to your ear, the security of his arms wrapped around your frame. 

“Does this help you?”

You hum affirmatively, already starting to feel more comfortable than you had before. Your heart beats painfully hard in your chest and you start to get self-conscious, knowing that Logan can definitely hear it.

Right on cue, he laughs a bit against your head. 

“Nervous?”

“No.” God, you’re so obvious. 

Logan’s laugh grows until he’s snickering, doing a terrible job of stifling his laughter. “‘s alright,” he eventually says. “Nothing wrong with that.”

You make yourself as comfortable as possible, pressing your back to Logan’s chest, trying to ignore the hard feeling of his body behind you. You can basically feel everything, the plane of his chest pushing through his tee, the ridge of his sweatpants against your lower back, his legs against yours—tempting you to intertwine them together, his feet hanging right under yours. You’re not exactly dressed for this and your shirt has ridden up, bunched at the top of your ass and exposing your panties. You wonder if he knows. You wonder if he cares. 

This is helping you a lot, but there’s still something on your mind. Something you need to solve before you can go off to sleep. 

You don’t know what it is that makes you confident, that makes you want to ruin a good moment. Maybe it’s the dark providing you comfort, but you lay it all out. 

“You treat me like a kid.”

Logan takes a second. You can just barely make out the hitch in his voice. “...Yeah?”

You’re glad he can’t see you when you pout. It wouldn’t have done much to help your case. “I’m not a kid, Logan. You don’t treat Rogue like a kid.”

“Rogue is different.”

“How? I’m older than her.”

“Just … can we not argue?”

“We’re not arguing.”

“Yeah? Then whaddya call this?”

“A conversation between two adults.”

He hums as if he’s unconvinced. 

You won’t let it go. “How is Rogue different?”

“Go to sleep,” he admonishes.

“Can’t. Not until you answer my question.”

Logan sighs. “‘cause I’m not attracted to her, alright?”

Oh. 

Oh. 

Wait … what?

You’re sure your silence is enough to express your confusion because Logan adds on. 

“I’m trying to set boundaries between us, kid—”

“Don’t call me that.”

He corrects himself with the use of your name instead, but it comes out the same way. “We need boundaries between the two of us. You think I don’t see how you look at me? ‘s not good.”

“If you’re setting boundaries why did you invite me in here.”

“Because I wanted to help you.”

Why is he making you feel crazy? He just told you he’s attracted to you, but he wants to set boundaries? There are barely any boundaries here. You’re alone with him, in his bedroom, tucked away at the end of the hall surrounded by mostly empty bedrooms instead of bedrooms of asleep mutants, curled up against his chest. This is the most opportune time, yet he didn’t want to make a move.

Maybe you were reading too much into it. 

You go to pull away from Logan’s embrace but he keeps you pulled tight to his chest. 

“Don’t do that,” he says it like a command and just to piss him off you consider pulling away. But you’re really comfortable and this is a comfort you aren’t sure you’re ever going to find again. 

“Just go to sleep, alright,” he says your name again, much softer this time. He says it like he’s coaxing you like your name is the final tune in a lullaby. 

Maybe Logan has other powers you aren’t aware of because just that one sentence is enough for you to let it go and submit to the sudden exhaustion that settles over your body like a weighted blanket. 

You don’t know if Logan’s been avoiding you. Mostly because you’ve been avoiding him.

It’s not often that the two of you would have to run into each other, but there were a few times when Professor Xavier extended the invitation to observe an upcoming class, and you declined upon learning that Logan would be subbing. 

You kept your distance as much as you could, even keeping yourself locked up in your bedroom throughout the night, no matter how restless you got. You were miserable, not only because you wanted to be near Logan, but because you were fucking exhausted. 

You could barely stay awake throughout the day, always sneaking off for power naps, taking whatever you could get even if it was only five minutes. 

But you finally have the rest of the afternoon to yourself and you intend to use it to sleep. Uncaring of how much it threw off your sleep schedule, you just needed a solid half hour curled up at the foot of your made bed like a dog, sleeping to your heart's content. 

Of course, it’s on your way up to your room that you run into Logan. You try to ignore him, continuing your path up the stairs, praying that Logan will continue on his path downstairs. 

You don’t know what it is about you that says come talk to me! but Logan stops in his journey, turning to face you. He calls your name, continuing even when you don’t respond. He follows your trek up the stairs and down the hallway, always right on your heels and within arm's reach. 

By the time your hand reaches for your bedroom door, Logan is practically breathing down your neck. 

You know there’s no avoiding him now, but you also don’t want to. 

You stand still, hand wrapped around the doorknob, waiting for Logan to say his piece. 

“Why’d you lead me to your bedroom?” The way he says it, with such arrogance and assurance woven into that same joking manner as if he wasn’t the one who turned you down just a few nights ago. 

“Fuck off, Logan. I just wanna get some sleep.”

You twist the knob and this is what wakes Logan up. “Okay, wait.” His hand reaches out and rests on your elbow. Just this one touch strikes you still. “Will you look at me?”

You turn around, trying to keep your gaze hard even as you take in his appearance for the first time in days. 

The bags under his eyes, the relaxed smile that’s constantly on his face when he’s around you, the thickness of his eyebrows, the points in his hair. You’re staring at his hair, wondering if it’s naturally like that or if he does it himself, and when you look at his eyes again there isn’t a connection. He’s staring at your lips instead. 

You lift your eyebrows impatiently, already imagining the sleep you’ll get after you ruminate until you can’t form a coherent thought. 

Logan opens his mouth. “Look, I’m sorry if you got a little hurt from the other night. Is just this age gap and your little crush is not gonna wor—”

You’re already turning around, deciding whatever else he’s going to say isn’t important at all, but Logan stops you. His movements are fluid, they flow naturally from his body and straight into yours, causing you to move with a coordination you didn’t expect. He spins you back around and pulls you straight to his chest, your hands flying to his shoulders to steady yourself, while his hands rest on your hips and your cheek. 

The movement is quick, it happens within a couple of seconds, and it makes the moment after feel so much longer. Nothing but shared blinks as Logan looks at your lips and you look at his. You’re so close to him, even closer than you were the other night, but neither of you makes a move. 

You’re considering making the first move, opening your mouth as if to ask him a question that was still unknown to you, but then Logan’s grip on your cheek tightens as if he’s holding you still and he moves in closer, and closer, and closer until his lips ghost over yours. 

In the end, it’s you who crosses the bridge. 

Your lips touch, sandwiched together, but neither of you do anything. Not until you take a tiny step closer, really nothing but an adjustment of your feet, is Logan pulling you into him. He digs his fingers into the waistband of your jeans, that one hand possessing all of the aggression that doesn’t exist in the hand holding your cheek. 

It’s like the touch of two different men—one who wants to devour you whole and the other who wants to treasure you. You hope that they’re able to coexist as you desperately want both. 

You let Logan kiss you feverishly, an intensity unlike anything you’ve ever seen him display settling in his lips. The Logan you knew was always relaxed, walking around the mansion with a carefree, practically laissez-faire, attitude. He didn’t meddle, he kept his hands to himself, always wrapped around a cigar or a beer. 

But now those hands were wrapped around you for the second time this week. 

You press your hands into the shoulder of his white tee shirt, starting to slide them up towards his hair before you resist. You want to get comfortable kissing him, but you’re still out in the hallway. 

Having the same thought, Logan pulls away from your lips with enough time to open the door, latch his hands onto your hips, and blindly steer you backward until you’re in the room. He stares down at you the entire time, that same smirk on his lips as he kicks the door closed behind him with a single boot. 

And then he has you pressed against the wood, sandwiched between a rock and a hard place. 

He looks at you for a second, his gaze lingering, and then he gets back to it. 

If even possible, Logan has more passion this time around. He sinks his hands to your thighs, pulling one up by his hip. He slots his legs into the opening until your center is hovering over his thigh. You don’t know what to expect, but when he flexes the muscle and presses his limb right up against you, you’re already trying to get more. 

Logan smiles as he kisses you, clearly entertained by your anguished need to get off. He doesn’t verbally reassure you, he doesn’t help you grind yourself down, he doesn’t do anything but continue kissing you. 

When you need to come up for air, knocking your head back into mahogany as you intake large gulps, Logan dips his head down and explores as much skin as he can. He creates a path of kisses from your jaw, down your neck, to the exposed parts of your chest. 

You tilt your head down, locking your hand into his hair and trying to redirect his lips back to yours, but he stops you with a hand pinching your cheeks. 

His eyes flick back and forth between yours, nothing but mischief and arrogance in the green. You wrap a hand around his wrist with the initial want to tug him away, but you like the hold he has you in. You like the look in his eyes. 

“Good?” His voice is softer than his grip. 

You nod, trying to grin as best as you can when your lips are forcibly puckered. 

Logan smiles right back at you. “You got a rubber?”

You nod again, scurrying to your nightstand once Logan lets you go. He tells you to get on the bed and you take the liberty of throwing your shirt off and bra as you go. You have enough sense to step out of your shoes, unclasp your jeans, and tug the zipper down in the path. 

By the time you’re sitting on your bed, you can feel the anxiety thrumming through your body. It’s a good kind, the kind you’ve been seeing less and less of lately. You’re still a little tired and still desiring a solid nap, but it can definitely wait. This is your main priority. 

Logan speaks to you as he undresses. 

“You still doing okay?” he asks as he’s pulling his tee over his head. When you nod, he moves to his belt, thick but deft fingers undoing it and leaving it hanging open and hooked into his belt loops. 

“You tell me if you wanna stop,” he says as he pulls his jeans down, stepping out of them right after he steps out of his boots. You give him a look and he clocks it immediately. 

“You think you can take it, bub?” He laughs. “Yeah? Don’t you think you’re talkin’ a big game?”

Petulantly, you roll your eyes. “Logan, I’m not a fucking kid, I’ll be fine.”

Wrong. So, so, so stupidly wrong. 

You are fine, but the sight of Logan’s dick sends nerves down your spine. You’ve talked yourself up, you can’t go back, so you do what you can. You let him peel your jeans and panties off, hoping you look as seductive as he does. You keep your eyes on his abdomen, tracing the vein that runs from the right of his navel down to his cock, breathing as well as you can while Logan lines himself up. The first push burns, just like you expect it to, but you adjust quicker than you thought. Eventually, all you can feel is pleasure. You’re so full when he’s only halfway in you. You feel stuffed as soon as he bottoms out, his heavy ball sack resting flush against you, a thick forest of pubes pressed against your cunt. 

Logan is so much, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. Hovering and staring down at you as his hips rock into yours, slowly and experimentally at first. It’s not until you draw a leg up over his hips that he increases the strength of his rocks. 

He has one hand keeping himself steady and the other holding your waist. It’s so intimate, and not only because he’s fucking you, but because he’s staring down at you the entire time, his teeth bared as he watches you for every single reaction. His eyes rake down your body, watching the way your tits jiggle before dipping lower to watch the way he’s entering you. You can’t see his gaze, but you can feel it, the weight of it comparable to the weight of his cock in you. 

There’s an inhuman nature to it, hidden deep below the surface as if he’s trying to hold back, but it’s there. You’re made aware of it when you clench around him and he growls. It comes from the back of his throat but it’s a sound you’ve never heard before. It’s so Logan, you don’t think anyone other than him could make a sound like that as erotic as it is. You want to hear him more, you want your moans to blend together amongst the four walls of your bedroom, but he keeps his sounds to himself. It’s like there’s a disconnect between the both of you, like Logan’s still holding back even though he’s balls deep in you. 

“Logan,” you whine, getting his attention. He looks at you with concern in his eyes, his hips slowing down. You shake your head, pushing more towards him. “Please,” you beg, praying he knows exactly what you want. 

“What? What d’you want?”

“More.”

Logan gets rougher. He’s grinding up into you like his life depends on it, blunt nails delving into your skin as if he wants to break it. You wish he would. You aren’t regenerative like he is, but you still desire the broken skin, the beads of blood, the marks left behind. 

You’re thinking about it, eyes lidded and falling closed when Logan knocks his forehead into yours once. He moans, closed-mouthed as his head lolls to the side, a shiver shaking him from the bottom of the spine up. 

“Jesus, baby,” he says. It’s all he says, but it’s more than enough. He keeps going, digging his tip into you deeper and deeper until it feels like he’s swimming in your guts. 

He drags his head down until he can wrap his lips around one of your nipples, licking and sucking before moving on to give the other one the same treatment. You desperately want him to mark you up, you want a reminder that this—the thing you’ve been wanting since Storm and Scott came back with two new mutants in tow—actually happened. Bravely, you reach out and tangle your hand in his hair, surprisingly softer than you thought it would be. You don’t hold him down much, just enough to communicate what you want nonverbally. And then after a few tortuous seconds of hesitation, his lips wrap around the skin atop your left breast and he sucks. The strength in it stings, it reminds you just how strong Logan is, but it feels so good. 

Unexpectedly, you feel your muscles seize. It starts in your tummy, deep down near where Logan’s been massaging, and then it just doesn’t stop, likely because he doesn’t stop. 

It’s like he’s spurred on by the feeling of you cumming, motivated by the way your back arches and you reach for the heavens as you clench around his cock. 

He gets a burst of energy, fucking you like he has something to prove when really it’s you with something to prove. 

You’re overstimulated, struggling to keep up with Logan, but you don’t want to tap out. You talked a big game, you can’t back down now. So you remain silent while Logan pulls another orgasm out of you, hoping he won’t notice the way your eyes brew tears without your consent and the way your lips quirk with the impending request to slow down. 

Of course, he notices. 

He’s grinning with sympathy—you don’t know if it’s sincere or faux—when he takes a hand and strokes your cheekbone. 

“I see ya, kid. Feels good, yeah?”

For some reason, when he calls you kid like this, you don’t completely hate it. 

There’s no point in lying, so you nod. 

“So tight,” he winces, eyebrows pinched together as he flashes his teeth, a dimple in his right cheek appearing with it. 

Just as you didn’t warn him before, he doesn’t warn you when he cums. You feel it though, the way his thrusts get sloppier and faster just before he gives you one punctual one, and then you feel the confined warmth of his cum shooting into the condom. 

You wish you weren’t as exhausted as you were, because the next time you’re conscious, it’s dark out and the bedsheet is covering your body. You’re hot, hotter than you usually want to be when you’re sleeping, but you’re bare naked. That and you only have a thin sheet covering your body. 

It doesn’t take much investigation to figure out what’s making you so hot, not when it’s attached to your back with one meaty bicep slung around your neck and keeping you pulled against him. It takes you a bit to fall asleep, but once you do, you’re out for the rest of the night.