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faithfromanewperspective · 2 years ago

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love this post but the more I see it the more I realise something that I think has to be said: Christopher isn't awkward or clueless with Grace. He:

is polite and non-condescending when talking to her about science even in the first carriage ride they have (Grace takes note of this)

gets a better read of her than James does in that she does actually like what he's talking about, even if she's being quiet

makes her feel totally at home in the Fairchilds' lab even when she shows up in the middle of the night and assumes he might be suspicious of her or question her need for activated moth powder or bearing runes (Grace notes that he thinks of the tour on his own, a welcome change when she usually has to use her power to entice men to do anything for her)

doesn't overthink the simple gratitude that she's someone who gets him, even though he hopes they might be partners in science like the Curies (I wish we got more of his thoughts on her in cot!)

when she's in the silent city, he thinks of her and manages to simultaneously solve his own problem of having no one to brainstorm with, as well as giving her something to do and company

encourages her by believing in her ability to solve any problems and fix things with whoever she's hurt (both when he brings cordelia in without asking any questions or trying to insinuate he knows better than her in any way and thus should make any decisions on what to do for her, and that last scene as a ghost with the fire messages--he's such a healing presence for her and that had so much potential)

literally brought her champagne to have a mini celebration (date?) while everyone was at the christmas party (and told no one of his exact plans) which was super super cute even if all grace wanted to talk about was the fact she hurt james and cordelia

Overall their relationship/friendship was like Thomas and Alastair as they both were there for each other in a way no one had been before: Kit believing in Grace and always totally respecting her and seeing the good in her; Grace immediately understanding the boy who had no real friends outside family he grew up with, was constantly misunderstood or pushed to the sidelines even sometimes by his own family, seeing him as more than just a scientist but a whole person who is capable of more than just relating over science, when he has a reason to, even if he does approach everything with the same observational, humble, problem-solving lens as he does science. Even Matthew and James don't see him like that. And as a result he really grows into himself during the first two thirds of cot and has become on of my favourite tsc characters of all time, on par with magnus. Christopher might have taken his time to get there, but he really understands people. Even if he's awkward with nearly everyone else (even James in that scene I wish we got the second half of, and all of his friends when they mention Grace), he's not awkward with her. He finally feels comfortable.

The reason I think this is so important is for anyone who's neurodivergent or demisexual/romantic in any way (or even just an introvert!). We often challenge what's assumed friendship or romance or the start of a relationship will be like, and yes, you could say sometimes we are awkward because of the disparity between that and the norm. Flirting doesn't always have to be a lighthearted dance of indirect comments, sexual, or even be about trying to impress the other person. Grace didn't need to be impressed, she needed to be respected and seen as herself, and when Kit did that, she was impressed anyway. She didn't need to be desired sexually, she needed straightforward friendship. She needed to know someone saw good in her to see it herself and find the courage to work towards fixing what Tatiana did through her. And he did.

And we never found out whether that relationship would have progressed to something sexual down the line, but my point is, they took a very valid and healthy way of maybe eventually getting there. All of the three main couples in some way had some drama hiding their feelings from one another or running from them. Not to even get started on Arianna (who were also unresolved by cot imo). But even without that comparison, their approach is valid and healthy and please remember that when you're dating, whether it's with someone on the asexual spectrum or even you just start to notice the lack of aspec representation. Our struggle in society is that almost no one believes us, people are caught up in the more sexual way we're taught is how you flirt and get dates and sex and maybe down the line a long-term relationship. We have to put in more effort to communicate our needs, to still be questioned or told we're ruining the mood. And the same goes if your neurodivergence means you don't understand the unwritten rules of flirting, or just aren't interested in it. There are other ways to find partners, but many of us have low confidence because we don't think we can do it in the way you're 'supposed' to. Or even if you're just too shy to do that. People who find us sexy do exist. Look how adorable we think Thomas or Alec or Gideon or Gabriel are! I just think we need to be able to see that in ourselves.

the lightwoods just being clueless idiot flirts:

gideon: *lied about liking scones just to see sophie*

gabriel: *tried to impress cecily but ultimately failed*

christopher: *showed grace some exploding stuff*

thomas: *literally followed alastair around for years*

alec: *fell down the stairs after his first date with magnus*

then there’s izzy and anna LMFAO

#demisexual #demiromantic #asexual #adhd #autism #special interests #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #lgbtqiia+#lgbtqia #christopher lightwood #grace blackthorn #chain of thorns #chain of iron #chain of gold #alec lightwood #thomas lightwood

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malec-ao3feed · 3 months ago

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Empezar de nuevo.

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/jV2gFB3 by Derek_Daniel Raphael observo a Simon con un dolor increíble en los ojos, le estaba rompiendo su muerto corazón ver como su esposo sostenía la pequeña y pálida mano de su hijo con tanto amor, que no estaba seguro de poder superar todo esto en más de un siglo. La pequeña manita devolvió el apretón, con ojos cansados, voz gangosa y labios resecos aún lucía como la primera vez que lo tuvieron entre sus brazos. —Todo estará bien, Papi—la vocecita inocente logró que todos los presentes en la habitación rompieran en llanto—no llores. Papá estará triste si lo haces. —Calma cariño.—Raphael susurro dulcemente hacia él pequeño—Papi solo está feliz de tener un niño tan maravilloso como tú. —Yo tengo unos papás maravillosos, por favor cuida de mi fénix—sus ojitos se llenaron de lágrimas ya sin la fuerza para sostener su agarre—tío Magnus tenía razón, el cielo se encuentra con las personas que amas. Words: 1377, Chapters: 1/1, Language: Español Fandoms: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Raphael Santiago, Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Magnus Bane Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago Additional Tags: Raphael Santiago Has Feelings, Demisexual Raphael Santiago, Magnus Bane & Raphael Santiago Friendship, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Daylighter Simon Lewis, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Protective Simon Lewis, Protective Magnus Bane, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, series Raphael Santiago/Simon Lewis read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/jV2gFB3

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #shadowhunters #tmi #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #magnus x alec #malec fanfic #the mortal instruments

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justmoreocs-writing · 1 year ago

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01. Full name: Aoife Xia Dawnfleur (Hasset).

02. Best friend: Isabelle and Alec Lightwood – though, Jace is up there too.

03. Sexuality: Demisexual.

04. Favourite colour: Dark purple.

05. Relationship status: Single.

06. Ideal mate: Despite what Jace might tease her about, Aoife’s ideal partner is someone who can make her smile; someone who is kind no matter what life throws their way. She wants someone who can help her break down her walls, even if she protests it happening, because that’s the kind of relationship she’s never really had in her life, and she thinks there’s something romantic in it.

07. Turn-ons: Honesty is a big one for her. She has to admit as well that there is something ridiculously attractive about people who can play an instrument. If they can fight well too, then that’s a bonus.

08. Favourite food: Mashed potato. She loves it when there’s added ingredients too, like onion or cheese.

09. Crushes: Aoife’s not had many crushes. There was a vampire she once saw that she thought was very attractive, but she only saw him the once, and she never even learnt his name.

10. Favourite music: Aoife likes classical music, anything really where she can hear the instruments working together to make music really.

11. Biggest fear: That everyone will leave her. Aoife may not admit it, but the fact her parents abandoned her really took its toll on her. She’s terrified that others will leave her too, and that she’ll be all on her own one day.

12. Biggest fantasy: Aoife’s never really thought about it. That being said, she would love to see the Northern Lights; there’s something so magical about them, and even if she does travel, she’s never seen them yet.

13. Bad habits: Aoife’s not great at opening up, even to those who know her best. When she’s hurting she seems to take it out on herself in a way – training too much, or trying her best to ignore it – and that’s something that only seems to get worse the more responsibilities she’s given.

14. Biggest regret: That she never did more to try finding out more about her parents, and about how she ended up in the London Institute. While she wishes she could move passed it all, part of her wonders that if she’d done more to find out about it all growing up, she wouldn’t have been able to move on sooner.

15. Best kept secrets: Living with the Lightwoods it was occasionally difficult to keep secrets in general, but she did keep hidden the fact that she still slept with her blanket for a good few years (from the age of four to about ten) and nobody knew about it until she was fourteen. Jace went to wake her up one morning and gently teased her about it. Eventually she got annoyed and admitted to everybody about how long she’d actually slept with it for.

16. Last thought: Aoife was thinking about if she should go to London and make sure things are still alright there; and just to generally catch up with people there.

17. Worst romantic experience: Isabelle tried to take her on a double-date and it ended up with Aoife hitting Isabelle’s date in the face because he looked a little bit like a demon; then proceeded to give her own date a nosebleed when he went in for a kiss.

18. Biggest insecurity: That she’s a failure. Aoife lets tiny mistakes weigh heavily on her shoulders because she always thinks that there’s something she could have done better.

19. Weapon of choice: Batangas knives; she is constantly moving them, especially when she’s nervous or thinking about something.

20. Role Model: Hodge was a role model of hers, because he had changed so much after his time in the Circle. However, when revelations occur she begins to see people like Maryse and Magnus as her role models, because of how they deal with things. Not that she’ll admit to it – other than to the man himself – but she also is a little in awe of Benji because of his positive outlook on things.

#Repost #Made By Me #Answered Questions #Shadowhunters OCs #Kindred #Aoife Dawnfleur #Benjamin Fray #Aoife Hasset #Benji Fray #Aoife Dawnfleur & Isabelle Lightwood #Aoife Dawnfleur & Alec Lightwood #Aoife Dawnfleur & Jace Herondale #Aoife Dawnfleur & Hodge Starkweather #Aoife Dawnfleur & Maryse Lightwood #Aoife Dawnfleur & Magnus Bane #Aoife Dawnfleur & Benji Fray

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liron-ao3 · 3 years ago

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AWAKE, ARISE, AND BE FOREVER FALLEN

4,904 words

Alec and Magnus are in a happy, monogamous, romantic and non-sexual relationship. Everything is perfect. But lately, Alec is plagued by new feelings—and physical reactions. He's surely coming down with something.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34642198

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the-great-lightwood-bane · 2 years ago

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Whispered Truth, Spoken Lies

Malec | Rated general | tw mention of biphobia, racism | Canon Compliant, in that canon never directly denies this, 5+1 things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Demisexual Magnus Bane

Summary: 5 times somebody else tells Magnus something about Alec, and one time Magnus tells Alec something about himself.

A/N: Written for the Shadowhunters Ace Mini Bang.

Thanks to Liron for the beta and for organising this whole event!

Check out the amazing art (you can see it below the cut or on Twitter and Tumblr) by Xani (@soulless-baka, Xani9, or love_xani)!

Inspiration for the first scene drawn from the @malecdiscordserver and this Twitter thread.

Read it on AO3 or below the cut.

1. Izzy

Today, Alec thinks rather giddily with an arm wrapped around Magnus’ shoulders, is unquestionably the best day of his life.

How could it not be? The numerous threats that have loomed over them over the last few months — over the entirety of their relationship — are gone; most, if not all, of their family and friends have made it out alive; and, most importantly, they’re married. This is their wedding day. Alec’s not usually one for sappiness, but today, it’s well-deserved.

Magnus grins up at him like he can read his mind and agrees, like he too feels the warmth that fills Alec up with love. They’ve been glued to each other all evening; the longest they’ve been separated today was because Izzy split them up to get them dressed for the wedding, and that only lasted an hour before they were at the altar together. Throughout the reception — including Jace’s hilarious but surprisingly meaningful best man speech — they’ve stuck together, unwilling to let the other one out of sight, and Alec wouldn’t have it any other way. Whenever things got a bit chaotic, because Alec loves his family and tolerates large Clave gatherings but doesn’t exactly adore parties per se, Magnus was there with soft touches and warm smiles that brought it all back down to just the two of them.

But now, the chaos appears to be winding down — or not, Alec amends, watching Izzy step gracefully up onto the table. Her heels are fully eight inches tall, and he’s not sure how she can put them on, let alone stand up in them, but she doesn’t sway and manages to avoid stepping on any chinaware.

Silence falls, heads turning in surprise, and when she has enough attention to satisfy herself, Izzy activates a rune on the wall which lights the wall up like a screen reading, in bold lettering, ALEC’S GLASS CLOSET.

Alec feels heat rise preemptively in his face. This is going to be embarrassing.

“Hello, everybody!” she declares cheerily. “This has been much more fun than Alec’s first wedding” — she and Jace are taking every possible chance to make digs about that, especially as Lydia is in attendance today; it is nevertheless true that the bright colours and grins on every face beat out the sober, polite, Clave-sanctioned smiles of his attempted marriage to Lydia — “but I think Alec can stand to blush a bit more, so I’ve made a presentation.”

She snaps her fingers, and the screen changes to something Alec automatically recognises as security footage from within the Institute, displaying a younger Alec — perhaps eighteen? — standing in Ops. As the wedding crowd watches, one of the other Shadowhunters turns away, and Alec’s eyes flick down to his ass, then up. Titters break out as the scene changes, to a different camera’s viewpoint, and the same thing happens again, with somebody else; Alec doesn’t want to know how much trawling through camera feeds Izzy’s done to come up with this, but despite the blush staining his cheeks, it is objectively hilarious.

The scenes move forward in time as the presentation goes on; Alec grows from a still-gangly eighteen-year-old to a broader 21 over the compilation. He’d thought he was subtle about checking guys out, but clearly not; Izzy’s found enough vids to fill minutes, even though each one is barely seconds long. He doesn’t ever check out Jace; it’s not in the recording, but Alec knows that every time he caught himself looking at his parabatai like that, he’d felt a rush of shame strong enough to glue his eyes to the floor.

Clary and co. show up with a bang — Alec had forgotten about that time he’d checked Simon out, but clearly Izzy’s managed to hack something or other to obtain footage — and it’s only a moment later that Magnus shows up.

There’s a fair bit of laughter when the videos promptly become a series of shots of Alec admiring Magnus, and Alec thinks he’s probably red up to the roots of his hair. Magnus is laughing along with the rest, though, and Alec can’t help the besotted look he sends him. (Jace, on his other side, mutters something about now they’re doing it again, but Alec quite cheerfully ignores him. Jace has been complaining about their sappiness all evening, but the sappiness in their parabatai bond belies his words.)

The last image is their kiss at the wedding, and Izzy’s beaming as the wall returns to its normal colour. “Jace got to be best man — parabatai rights, yada yada yada — but I’m making my own speech, so listen up.”

The crowd quiets a bit. “As you can see, Alec’s never been as closeted as he thought he was—” she pauses for the sniggers to die down “—but he was never able to be open about it, either. I’d known he was gay for years, but I didn’t dare say anything, and he thought I’d reject him for it if I knew.”

Alec feels his throat tighten, but with emotion rather than the fear he would’ve felt a few months earlier if he’d known his sexuality wasn’t as secret as he thought. He’s learnt, over the past months, that both Jace and Izzy already knew and that Maryse suspected, but it hasn’t really sunk in yet. Magnus squeezes his hand, and he feels a surge of impossible gratitude for him, for all of them. For the life he has now, in which he can hold hands with the man who’s turned his life upside down in the very best of ways, in which he can lead an Institute and love a Downworlder.

Izzy’s face brightens into a less serious smirk. “Also, we all noticed that he stopped checking out other guys the moment Magnus showed up, which was really the first sign that it meant something.” The smirk tips sideways into something softer again. “And look at them now — so wrapped up in each other they barely notice anyone else. Jace already said this part for me, so I won’t go on about it, but thank you, Magnus, for loving my brother.”

She steps off of the table — not stumbling, despite her heels — as everyone claps, and the smile Magnus gives Alec makes the whole world brighter.

2. Maryse

Alec loves his mother, he really does, and he’s incredibly grateful that she’s accepted Magnus almost as her own son, but sometimes he wishes they weren’t quite such good friends.

For instance, right now, when Magnus has tugged his chair closer to Maryse’s to look at the photo album she’s showing him. A photo album of Alec’s childhood. This is a disaster.

Magnus is, admittedly, cooing, but he is also laughing far harder than Alec’s dignity is happy about, especially when Maryse tells a particularly embarrassing story. Like the one about six-year-old Alec wanting to help Izzy learn to use a whip, trying to steal one from an older Shadowhunter, and getting tangled up in it, at which point Maryse managed to take a picture; Alec admits that he looked ridiculous, but Magnus’ commentary is more along the lines of adorable, which is completely unacceptable.

(Alec had eventually succeeded in obtaining a whip, learning to use it, and then teaching Izzy; he stopped learning with her once she was well on her way to mastery, and she’s better than him by now.)

“You were so cute as a child,” Magnus tells him, grinning. “You’ve already got that serious little frown, which is still adorable now, but it’s even cuter on such a small face.”

“Shut up,” Alec replies, face brick-red. “Can’t we do something else now?”

Maryse laughs, rather evilly. “But we’ve only seen the one album! I’ve still got two more—”

“Absolutely not,” Alec retorts, glaring at her. “If I knew you were just going to tell embarrassing stories about me, I wouldn’t’ve invited you here.”

“Actually, I invited her here,” Magnus interposes, “and I’m really enjoying learning about how adorable you were as a child.”

Alec continues his staring contest with Maryse. “I’ll — figure out something embarrassing to tell Luke.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Good luck with that.”

“I’ll stop inviting you over to the Institute.” It’s an empty threat, and she knows it.

“That’s what I have Izzy and Jace for.”

A thought strikes. “I’ll make that stew for you again.”

Horror spreads on Maryse’s face, and she caves. “…What if I told you a story about Magnus instead?”

Magnus’ brows pinch. “You don’t know any stories about me — or at least, none that Alec doesn’t know already.”

“Is that so?” She raises an eyebrow. “Well, I remember a certain day, twenty or so years ago, back when I was in the Circle—”

Realisation dawns on Magnus’ face, but too late.

“The circumstances weren’t — ideal” — the shadows on her face bear testimony to the likely corruptness of whatever she was doing — “but I do recall claiming that I wanted to create a better world for myself and my son. Care to say what you replied, Magnus?”

Magnus huffs nonchalantly, but Alec can tell from his expression that he knows exactly what he said and is dreading Maryse’s reveal of it. “Something embarrassing, I’m sure.”

“It was, if I recall correctly, ‘I have no interest in the world you want. Or in your doubtless repellent brat, I might add.’” She’s clearly barely holding back laughter. “Little did you — or I — know that in twenty years, you’d be married to that same ‘doubtless repellent brat’.”

A groan from Magnus, but Alec’s too busy laughing.

After all, fair’s fair.

3. Simon

“Sherman!” Magnus greets, smiling. “Lovely to see you, my dear.”

“Not lovely enough to remember my name, though?” Simon returns, sighing.

“Of course I know your name, Samuel,” Magnus shoots back with a grin. “Come in, everyone else’s here already—”

Alec waves as Simon comes in, then wraps an arm around Magnus’ shoulders as his husband settles down beside him. Magnus relaxes into the touch. Jace, Clary, and Izzy are scattered around the room on Magnus’ various comfortable chairs; Simon takes a spot beside Clary and gratefully accepts the glass of blood Magnus snaps into his hand.

As the spurt of greetings dies down, Jace returns to the topic they’d been discussing before Simon came in: teasing Alec for being, quote, “a simp for Magnus”. Alec listens with something caught between embarrassment and pride, while Magnus is outright chuckling.

“See, nobody else is like that about their significant other,” Jace declares, hands waving in the air.

“I seem to recall using Raziel’s Wish to bring you back from the dead,” Clary points out.

“Yeah, but Alec said he’d do the same for Magnus.”

“I agree with Jace,” Simon puts in, to the blond’s surprise. “Alec’s hardcore. Remember when he wanted to become a vampire so he could go to Edom to be with Magnus?”

Alec stops paying attention, because Magnus has abruptly stiffened at his side, and he realises that Magnus didn’t know about that whole thing. It hadn’t seemed relevant, since Magnus was safe with no such measures necessary; Alec might’ve told Magnus about it if it came up, but he’d honestly forgotten about the whole thing.

Clearly, it isn’t quite as irrelevant to Magnus, who’s staring at Alec in shock and disbelief — an expression that Alec has seen before whenever Magnus can’t believe that Alec is willing to do something for him. An expression which Alec is more familiar with than he’d like. Often, his heart aches for Magnus, who’s been burned so many times by so many people that basic common decency seems like something out of the ordinary.

“You were going to do what?” Magnus hisses, voice low and almost terrified. Apparently, disbelief has given way to anger.

“Turn myself into a vampire so I could go to Edom with you,” Alec replies, implacable. The others sitting around the room seem to fade away, eclipsed by the man in front of him. “Nephilim can’t enter Edom — or couldn’t, without Clary’s Alliance rune — and I needed to get to Edom, which meant not being Nephilim anymore.”

“You’d lose your runes,” Magnus says, and Alec resists the impulse to say Well, duh.

Instead, he meets Magnus’ eyes with all the love he holds inside of him, the love that sometimes feels so big and explosive that he wonders if he’ll implode under the weight of it. He never does; this love only makes him stronger. “You’re more important than my runes, Magnus.”

Magnus makes a sharp, cut-off sound, like he isn’t sure if he wants to strangle Alec or kiss him. “More than your parabatai rune? Alec, you didn’t think it through—”

“I thought it through,” Alec retorts. “Losing my parabatai bond would be bad, but I wouldn’t be losing Jace — he’s just as much my brother with the rune or without. Even if I was losing Jace, though—” and Alec hesitates for a moment, not from uncertainty but because he needs Magnus to know how true this is, how much he means it “—even then, I’d do it, Magnus, because you are worth everything.” He knows Magnus, knows that all his life he’s been taught that he is worth less than others, that he’s somehow less important because he can smile and laugh even under the weight of centuries. You are not inconsequential, he wants to say, wants to smooth away those years of pain. He’ll get there eventually.

For a moment of frozen stillness, Magnus stares at him with that same disbelief rising in his no-longer-glamoured eyes, and then he falls forward to kiss Alec with all he has. Alec holds him close, almost desperately, and pours all that he feels into the kiss.

Behind them, Clary is reluctantly admitting that what Alec and Magnus have is a bit more, but Alec ignores them in favour of the man in his arms.

4. Raphael

Dinners with Magnus’ side of the family ought to be more embarrassing for Magnus than they were for Alec — and they usually are, thanks to Cat’s propensity for giving Alec all the best tales of Magnus’ past adventures — but tonight is clearly an exception.

It starts off well enough: Cat tells yet another story about Magnus in Peru, leaving Alec to wonder exactly how many minor catastrophes Magnus has caused and why it took Peru so long to ban him; Magnus groans half-heartedly and protests, though he knows from experience that it’s hopeless. After Cat leaves for her next shift at the hospital, however, Raphael apparently takes pity on Magnus and decides to do a Maryse: tell stories about Alec.

The problem is that Raphael is one of the very, very few who know a particularly embarrassing secret. “Have I told you about Alec’s first crush?”

Magnus raises an eyebrow. “I think we all know Alec used to like Jace, my dear boy.”

“That wasn’t Alec’s first crush, though.” Raphael is obviously suppressing an evil grin, and Alec puts his head in his hands.

Wrinkling his brow, Magnus glances first at Raphael, then at Alec, then back again. “Who was it, then?”

“I’ll let Lightwood tell you.” Raphael leans back in his seat, apparently satisfied that he’s caused Alec’s reputation sufficient damage. He doesn’t even need to keep pressing the issue; Magnus is obviously intrigued, and he won’t let Alec avoid this particular confession. Shit.

Magnus turns to Alec expectantly.

Alec huffs and crosses his arms.

Magnus’ eyes widen pleadingly.

Alec sighs. He’s never been able to resist those eyes. Magnus beams, and he can’t really regret anything that brings such a bright smile to his husband’s face.

“Keep in mind that I was eleven at the time,” Alec starts, “and I didn’t have much exposure to guys.” He has no doubt Magnus will be laughing by the end of this, but he’d like to justify himself a bit in advance.

“Go on,” Magnus says, still grinning.

Alec sighs again, deeply, but goes on. “I’d caught wind of a vampire and a Silent Brother who’d come to talk to Maryse and Robert. Naturally, I told Izzy and hurried over to eavesdrop, mostly because a Silent Brother seemed like an important guest. The Brother — Jem Carstairs, actually — was telling them something interesting about a yin fen shipment, but I was distracted by the vampire.” Alec gestures to Raphael and waits for the realisation to sink in.

Magnus’ eyes widen, and he promptly bursts into laughter. “Wait — you’re telling me — Raphael?” he manages between gasps.

“Raphael,” Alec confirms, lips twitching to echo the smile splitting Magnus’ face. He’s laughing free and light and happy, and Alec can’t really mind the minor embarrassment.

Eventually, Magnus calms down enough to talk properly. “Alexander, I cannot believe you would do this,” he says, putting on an overdramatic look of utter betrayal. “This entire time, you’ve been after my adoptive son.”

The vampire squints at the moniker. Alec raises an eyebrow, deadpan. “Yes. I actually married you to get closer to Raphael. That makes complete sense and is definitely something I would do.”

Magnus loses the battle against another round of delighted laughter, and Alec relaxes back in his chair with a smile.

5. Lydia

This week has apparently been designated the Embarrass Alec Lightwood Week, because the day after the Raphael revelations (which Magnus probably won’t stop teasing Alec about for years), Lydia shows up for their semi-regular dinners together with yet another story in tow.

Perhaps it was odd that one of Alec’s best friends in Alicante is his ex-fiancé, but there’s a reason he proposed to her in the first place: she’s a lot like him, in personality and in goals, and he knew she’d make a good co-Head. They probably would’ve ended up hating each other, trapped in a loveless marriage, but as friends, they simply work.

To Alec, it’s more surprising how well Lydia gets along with Magnus — their personalities couldn’t be more different — but then again, the same could be said of Alec and Magnus. Initially, the relationship between Alec’s husband and his ex-fiancée was mostly swapping stories of Henry Branwell, but it’s shifting to encompass things that make Alec blush.

“Izzy’s presentation at the wedding was hilarious,” Lydia is saying, grinning.

“It was!” Magnus beams back. “I knew he was a disaster gay, but I didn’t know he was a disaster gay.”

“I’d already seen the disaster gay brain in action, though,” Lydia says, and Alec feels a sudden surge of worry as to what secrets she’ll spill. Magnus leans forward, interested. “It was before we met, back when Alec was determinedly closeted — or thought he was, at least.” (Alec huffs.) “Anyway, I suggested we talk to you for some reason or other. Alec said — and I quote — ‘Magnus is, um… quite magical.’”

Alec buries his face in his hands.

+1. Magnus

“I have a confession,” Magnus says, rather abruptly, and Alec looks up in surprise.

They’re in the loft, just relaxing in each other’s company, but something in Magnus’ voice suggests that this is a more serious topic than their previous discussion, a debate over where to have dinner. Magnus’ expression confirms the hypothesis: he’s frowning slightly, a hint of hesitance in his eyes. He’s still sitting half on Alec’s lap, half on the couch, with one arm wrapped around Alec, but there’s nevertheless something uncertain in his posture.

“Go on,” Alec tells him, when he pauses before continuing. He doesn’t want to push, but Magnus has clearly been working himself up to this for a while, only to hesitate at the last moment; he needs a bit of encouragement to get past it.

“I… may have lied to you on our first date,” Magnus says, after another moment, eyes darting away from Alec’s.

“About what?” Alec prompts again.

“I haven’t — you asked me how many people I’d been with.” Magnus is reluctant, but determined; Alec wonders how long he’s been thinking about this. “I didn’t — well, even if I had had sex with seventeen thousand people, I doubt I’d remember the exact number. As it is, I’ve been with… fewer.”

Alec considers that. He’s never really thought about that conversation, not since he decided it didn’t matter how many people Magnus had been with; as he thinks about it now, though, it does seem unlikely that Magnus knows the exact number of people he’s had sex with, and seventeen thousand is a lot. But that can hardly be the confession Magnus seems so anxious about.

Magnus swallows, then keeps talking. “I don’t know how well you remember that conversation, but when you asked me how many, I said ‘seventeen’.”

“And then you hesitated, and I assumed you meant seventeen thousand,” Alec agrees.

“I’ve only been with seventeen people, total,” Magnus says softly. “I know I — I build up this persona of somebody who has sex a lot, and obviously there’s nothing wrong with that, but for me, it’s — it’s just seventeen.”

Alec blinks at him, then quickly wraps an arm around Magnus’ shoulders to pull him closer because there’s an awful terrified expression on Magnus’ face, as though he fears Alec’s going to — to leave him, or something ridiculous like that. “I said it then, and I’ll say it again now,” Alec murmurs into his hair. “I don’t care how many people you’ve been with — or haven’t been with, as the case may be.”

Magnus relaxes into Alec’s hold, tracing his fingers over his wrist. “I know you don’t care. Logically, at least,” he amends at Alec’s raised eyebrow, because Magnus had certainly seemed worried about Alec’s reaction. “It’s just that… well, because of the way I dress and my sexuality — and, at certain times in the past, because of my skin colour — people tend to assume that I have sex more than I do, even when they don’t deem me some sort of sexual predator. And if I told someone I was with that I don’t have sex that much, they’d be disappointed, or confused, or they’d leave. So I’d lie about it, like I lied to you. I pretended I had sex as often as they all assumed I had. Took control of the narrative, in some sense. Learned to flirt. And the few times I’ve confessed the truth, it… hasn’t gone well.”

“Camille?” Alec asks, recognising the expression on Magnus’ face.

“Among others,” Magnus confirms. “She — she said it was unnatural, for an immortal to be such a prude. Said I needed to enjoy life more. Said the only reason she cheated on me was because I was lacking, and if I didn’t understand why she’d cheat, it was because I was somehow wrong.”

Alec holds him even closer in the momentary silence that follows, hoping that he can convey with his embrace that Camille was the one in the wrong, always, that there was never anything wrong with Magnus. Judging by the soft shudder Magnus makes in Alec’s arms, he got the message across.

“I am… different, though,” Magnus says quietly, half-muffled in Alec’s shirt. “I mean, obviously there are people — even immortals — who don’t go around having sex (and far more who don’t cheat on their partners), but it’s not like that for me. It’s like — it’s that I don’t want to have sex with a random stranger. I want to get to know them first. It’s only when I already like their personality that I actually feel attracted to them.”

“I’m not going to judge you for that,” Alec says. “I love you. You love me. Everything else is — academic.”

Magnus’ smile is imprinted on Alec’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“I know,” Alec points out, half joking, then becomes serious again. “But have you considered — I mean, I don’t know a lot about it, but I was reading a bunch of mundane articles on sexuality and such, and do you think you could be some flavour of asexual?”

When Magnus raises his head, his mouth is slightly open, and he’s blinking quickly. “I… hadn’t thought of that.” He’s silent for another moment, considering. “I’m not fully ace, since I definitely feel attracted to some people” — he leers at Alec — “but I might be… greysexual. Demisexual, maybe.” He glances down at his fingernails, thoughtful, and the nail polish shimmers as it shifts to the colours of the demisexual flag.

“And that’s for you to decide,” Alec tells him, gently. “Whichever one you are, I love you.”

“I know,” Magnus says, a bright flash of a grin illuminating his face, and Alec thinks that this, here, is all he’ll ever need.

#SHAceMiniBang2022 #fic #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #magnus x alec #alec x magnus #alec lightwood bane #magnus lightwood bane #tsc #tmi #my fic #asexual character #asexuality #asexual magnus bane #demisexual magnus bane #demisexuality

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fedyorivans-moved · 4 years ago

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A pride month icon change!

#yay!#alec lightwood #demisexual #icon change

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demisexualnathanvuornos · 5 years ago

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Falling for Your Parabatai [TDA post-Lady Midnight, Lord of Shadows; demi!Julian & Alec; Julian & Magnus] 1800 words; 14 kudos (11.-12.9.2018) 500 hits (30.12.2019)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652071?view_full_work=true

#demisexual julian blackthorn #julian blackthorn #nocticola art #tda #tda fic #ok the 500th is actually me when i wasn't logged in but whatever #yay 500 hits!#magnus bane #alec lightwood #ok now it's 501 so legit

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nocticola · 6 years ago

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Chapter 1: Alec [Julian Blackthorn & Alec Lightwood] 940 words (11.12.9.2018)

Julian talks with Alec about the parabatai bond.

#julian blackthorn #demisexual julian blackthorn #julian x emma #nocticola art #the dark artifices #alec lightwood #my fic queue #not sure i'll do fic art for this #too tried and not sure how #*tired #can't even spell

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i-am-not-a-mouse · 7 years ago

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Magnus' Magic Mystery

... or: Alec is hot and Magnus can't handle it.

His magic keeps lashing out – burning candles down to a stump in seconds, bursting lightbulbs and redecorating his flat with a bang. It’s … concerning, to say the least. But Magnus wouldn’t be the High Warlock of Brooklyn If he didn’t like a bit of mystery, so he doesn’t dwell on that weird feeling of need and too much and gets investigating. He just needs more clues.

I realized I never posted this on here, so read on Ao3 or ...

They kiss a lot – that’s how he notices.

Well. At least they kiss more than Magnus has ever kissed another person.

Camille had wanted to, for sure. But he just never… deemed it necessary? Sure, kissing itself was nice and the feeling of another warm body close to his own definitely couldn’t hurt, but… but.

There’s no but with Alec.

There’s only “yes” and “now” and “how about we never stop”. And worst of all, his magic keeps lashing out – burning candles down to a stump in seconds, bursting lightbulbs and redecorating his flat with a bang.

It’s … concerning, to say the least.

But Magnus wouldn’t be the High Warlock of Brooklyn If he didn’t like a bit of mystery, so he doesn’t dwell on that weird feeling of need and too much and gets investigating.

He just needs more clues.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Exhibit 1

The first time Alec touches his bare chest, Magnus nearly faints. It’s not even overly sexual – one of his pendants has caught his boyfriend’s attention and when he curls his hand around it to inspect the engravings on the silvery stone, his fingertips brush toned skin, and … oh Angel.

Magnus doesn’t know where up and down is anymore.

“Magnus? Are you alright?” Alexander calls softly, clearly having noticed the sudden tension in his boyfriend’s stance. He drops the pendant in favor of cradling Magnus’ cheek in those big, big hands of his and Magnus can’t breathe.

“Magnus?”

He finds his voice at the back of his throat and forces his lips into a small smile. The couch behind him glows in a bright lime green. “Sure, Alexander. I’m perfect.”

Alec smiles softly, reassured, and kisses him on the cheek.

But Magnus’ world is in shambles.

… So are all the lightbulbs in the flat.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Exhibit 2

There’s blood on Alec’s face, like a streak of paint on his pale complexion. It’s dripping and for a second everything just … stops.

Then he’s running through the woods, gripping, touching, healing, and in an instant the blood is gone and it’s alright, everything is fine - why does he still feel so entirely, utterly wrong?

“Magnus, hey, come back to me, it’s fine, I’m fine. It was just a cut.”

Alec’s voice breaks his stupor, making him look up and at his boyfriend, really look at him.

He’s fine, that’s painfully clear. The afternoon sun glistens on his face, reflecting in the pearls of sweat in his eyebrows (ran the whole time, wanted to get home quicker), a leaf is stuck in his hair, a bit of sunburn on his cheekbones.

But he’s fine.

There’s nothing broken or torn or bleeding anymore, so Magnus should be calm. Should be being the key phrase, here.

Why is his blood still singing?

“Alexander, I… I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” he stutters, and Alec smiles.

One of his hands comes up to his cheek and cups it gently.

“Hey, it’s okay if you’re worried about me. I worry about you all the time!”

‘Yeah, but do you feel this too?’ Magnus wants to scream, ‘Do you want to rip me apart and swallow me whole? Do you want to break me and put me together, again and again and again? Do you?’

Of course, he doesn’t say any of that.

Instead he smiles, too, and lets himself be pulled into a hug.

Curiously, it helps.

Within moments, that aching void in his chest fills with light, nothing hurts and everything is Alec.

Huh.

Carefully, he turns his head a bit and nuzzles into his boyfriend’s neck. The skin smells like metal and a bit of sulfur here, but there’s also that unmistakable note of pure Alexander under it and suddenly, he really (desperately) needs to kiss him.

Not want, need.

Okay, also want. But mostly need.

After a second of contemplating, his lips press against the elegant curve of the rune on Alec’s neck, feather-light and unassuming.

The forest turns auburn around them.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Exhibit 3

“Magnus? Could I… borrow a shirt to sleep in, m-maybe?” Alec’s timid voice sounds from the bathroom, “I promise, I’ll give it back!”

A grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as he conjures up a soft baggy T-shirt with a flick of his wrist. “Does that suffice?” he calls, a quizzical lilt to his voice. He’s long stopped trying to get his boyfriend into formfitting clothes.

Alec giggles a quiet, private little giggle and Magnus is so in love that it hurts.

His hair is still wet from the shower when he finally emerges from the bathroom blushing, clad in the shirt and little to nothing else, boxer shorts riding low on his hips.

It’s positively sinful how the collar of the too-big shirt exposes his collarbones.

“Well, don’t you look divine, darling.”

The blush spreads down onto his shoulders, connecting rune to rune and Magnus’ heart suddenly skips a beat.

“It’s just a shirt…” Alec mumbles, but Magnus is quick to shake his head.

“No shirt is just a shirt on you, Alexander.” he sighs and gets up from his rather comfortable armchair to put his arms around Alec’s broad shoulders.

His blush is reaching below the collar now.

Magnus’ eyes follow the path of the rose color and his lips follow shortly, peppering heated skin with cool kisses.

Oh Angel, what is he doing?

In a desperate attempt to calm down the magic suddenly crackling along his spine, Magnus drags his lips from Alec’s neck to his shoulder, sinks his teeth into the soft fabric – and Alec… moans.

The shirt rips right through, pulverized in the blink of an eye.

“Magnus, what the-? Hey, you just conjured that for me!”

This is getting far out of hand.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Exhibit 4

Alec’s eyes are molten chocolate in the light of the fireplace crackling peacefully beside them.

Magnus finds himself incapable of looking away – He’s lived for centuries, and this is the sight that captures his attention. Alec chucking logs onto a fire.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

But there’s smoldering heat in Magnus’ chest and fire in his stomach, a weird pull towards Alec that makes him want to get up and lick him – and he better stop this weird train of thought right this second or he’ll declare himself crazy.

“So – are you going to kiss me or will you just keep staring at me?”

Damn. Must his boyfriend pick up on everything like this?

Alec smiles softly, a rare sight but getting more and more frequent these days. Magnus likes to think he has at least a small part in that particular change.

He lets his gaze drop to his mouth. “May I?” he whispers into the tiny space between them and Alec huffs, “You don’t always have to ask, you know? I’m your boyfriend, you’re allowed to kiss me.”

Magnus wants to scream.

But he also really, really, really wants to kiss Alec, so he swallows his despair and leans in.

The moment their lips touch, something bursts within Magnus’ chest.

It fills his veins with something besides blood, like there’s something inside him besides Human, Demon, and Magic. Something smoldering, burning, killing him from within his own body, but he doesn’t want it to stop. Ever.

His fingers bury themselves in Alec’s hair and tug. Harshly.

“Sorry, sorry, I-“

But Alec is rather obviously not complaining. In fact, the surprisingly loud whine that suddenly pierces Magnus’ eardrums suggests the complete opposite.

Angels above have mercy.

Looking at Alec, mouth agape and slightly embarrassed of the incredibly sexy sound he just produced, Magnus realizes that instead of the soft red glow that had previously illuminated his boyfriend’s face, the fire is now burning in mysterious forest-green.

It’s also far too high.

“Oh Angel!” Alec squeaks and hurries to close the glass-door that saves their rug from burning not a second too early.

Magnus sighs in defeat.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Exhibit 5

He pulls the door open and within seconds, Alec’s lips are on his. It’s desperate and fast and for just a moment, Magnus wants it more than anything else in his life. More than oxygen, more than peace, more than water.

But then there’s that unmistakable crackle of magic within his fingertips and the world comes crashing down on him.

He jumps back a few steps, leaving his boyfriend breathing heavily and leaning into the wall for stability.

“Alec? What’s this all about?” Magnus stutters nervously, prompting a light blush to bloom on Alec’s cheeks.

“I just thought… that we could, you know… take the next step?”

His voice, oh Angel. It’s all breathy and low and it does things to his heart that he doesn’t even want to think about. His fingertips sparkle with magic.

“Th – the sex step.”

Alec is looking at him as if he’s lost his mind, and honestly, he can’t blame him. He doesn’t even get himself these days, how is his boyfriend supposed to know what’s happening?

“Yeah…?” Alec breathes and suddenly, Magnus wants to be anywhere but here. He thought he had more time to figure this out, but now it’s here, knocking right on his door in the shape of a beautiful Shadowhunter and there’s nowhere to run.

How in the hells is he supposed to do this?

“Alexander…” he tries, “I may be experienced, but… it’s rare that I’ve ever felt this way about someone and… look. You’re not the only one that feels vulnerable.”

For a second, it’s very quiet. Then, as if shaking off some kind of binding spell, Alec straightens and raises a hand to cup Magnus’ cheek.

His thumb strokes soft patterns into his skin. There’s a sharp sting in his palms.

“Magnus… I really, really like you. I mean, I… I care about you, a lot. But if you don’t want to do this, do you really think I would make you?”

And with that single sentence, Magnus is calm again. Okay. This is manageable. But there’s no way he can let his boyfriend think that he doesn’t want him.

“No, Alexander. Of course not. And it’s not that...” he raises both arms to wrap them about Alec’s shoulders. He gets rewarded with a soft smile. “I want you, I do. You don’t even know how much.” - the smile widens - “I just… think it’s too early, okay? There’s something I need to figure out first.”

His boyfriend huffs a small laugh, to his surprise.

“Magnus. Of course, it’s okay. How about we make some dinner? There was that recipe you wanted to show me, right?”

Oh, how he loves him.

When Alec has actually hung up his coat and moved to the kitchen, Magnus lingers in the hallway, pulling up the right sleeve of his jacket, already dreading what he’s going to see.

The red of his blood stands in harsh contrast against the soft caramel of the skin on his wrist, forming a strange rune-like pattern with its path.

It should really worry him how much he is not surprised.

“Magnus? Get in here, I’ll burn the ginger without you!”

Well. This will have to wait, then.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Discussion

There is something very clearly wrong with him.

See, Magnus has a reputation. And that reputation… well, let’s say it’s not entirely off about his… relationships, if that’s what one could call it.

He’s had a lot of them.

Strangers, mostly, people for one night, never to be seen again.

And is that so bad?

It isn’t, is what he’s saying, but now there’s something very, very wrong.

It’s never felt like this with the others.

He’s never felt this need to be close to someone, this craving for physical contact, this weird fixation on someone’s hands. Until Alec.

He doesn’t know what it is, but it needs to stop because it’s getting out of hand and that just can’t happen.

He can’t lose control.

He can’t shatter lightbulbs or destroy shirts, he can’t recolor entire forests, he can’t just start randomly burning carpets – and most of all, he can’t let his magic turn against him. To hurt him.

He needs help.

And he’s getting it.

Catarina answers his invitation for coffee with a rude message not to be repeated ever again but she does show up on his doormat a few hours later, so he’s not going to complain.

“Thank you for coming, Catarina. I realize it was on very short notice.”

She gives him a once-over in the blink of an eye. “Well, you don’t seem to be bleeding out, on fire, or suffering from a severe illness, so what the hell has got you so upset?”

Magnus gestures for her to come in and gently leads her to the couch in the living room. “I’m not entirely sure myself, Cat. Which is why I require your assistance.”

She raises an eyebrow. “You make it sound so mysterious.”

Magnus shrugs and pours himself a glass of wine. The sting of alcohol down his throat calms his quivering nerves – at least to some degree.

“Catarina… let me be honest with you.”

“Always - my favorite drama queen.”

“Thank you.” he huffs a small laugh. “So. It’s about Alexander.”

“What did that stupid Nephilim do now.”

“Nothing, actually, it’s just… I …”

Catarina sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose in exasperation, when he doesn’t continue. “Spit it out, Magnus.”

Magnus just breathes for a second, stalling for time to collect his thoughts, until he finally starts talking.

“I fear something is seriously wrong with my magic.”

A dark look crosses her face. “Continue.” she says, after a short silence. Magnus obeys.

“Whenever Alexander and I… get physically close, my magic lashes out and I get this weird… pulling sensation in my gut and I can’t get close enough, like it would kill me if I put more than, I don’t know, five inches between us and – wait, why are you giggling?” Catarina is biting her lip, obviously trying to keep another giggle inside.

“Sorry, sorry, just… Magnus, don’t you think that might have something to do with you worshipping the very ground he stands on?”

“Catarina, I don’t feel like you’re taking this seriously.” Doesn’t she know that this is important?

Cat’s smile falls. “Wait, you … you’re not kidding me?”

“No, I’ve been telling you, there’s something wrong with me-“

“Magnus, Magnus, hold on.” she leans forward to grasp both his hands and fixes her eyes on his face, cataloguing each and every movement. He can practically see that clever brain of hers working. “Tell me what your magic has been doing exactly. Leave nothing out.”

So he tells her. He tells her about the lightbulbs, the shirt, the forest, the fire … and the blood. She keeps carefully, suspiciously, quiet the whole time, but when he mentions his wrist, she makes an interested sound and asks to see it.

He pushes back his sleeve and she gasps – he can understand why: Even though he had, of course, washed off the blood at some point, the carved pattern is just all the more visible for it now – nearly circular and crooked at one side, and the wound hasn’t closed yet. Its flesh glistens crimson.

Catarina tightens her grip on his fingers. “Holy shit, Magnus.”

“Do you see now? I need to do something about this, quickly.” he replies, a desperate edge to his words. But Catarina seems surprisingly calm about her new discovery, besides her initial shock. She raises her head until her gaze crosses his and Magnus can feel her eyes pinning him in place.

“Magnus.”

“Yes…?”

“Tell me about Alec.”

Um. Okay? Magnus wants to ask why, but there is such a blatant certainty to her eyes that he just complies, without question.

He’s beautiful, he tells her. Funny in ways he never thought he’d see in a Shadowhunter, humble and kind with a sharp edge of pure leader to his thoughts, every action carefully planned in advance.

“But then he giggles and walks into walls and lets me play with his hair, Cat. He’s just… perfectly imperfect.” he finishes, untypically sheepish.

Catarina looks at him, searching and with a small smile, until she says, “You love him. You really love him, Magnus.”

Magnus starts to nod but then his wrist twitches in pain and he remembers why they’re here. “I think so, yes, but what does that have to do with anything? Isn’t my magic…”

“I think I know what your magic is doing.” Cat interrupts him, “But first, tell me something. How far have you and Alec gone?”

“Cat!”

“Hey, that’s nowhere close to the most awkward thing we’ve talked about! Just … just tell me, Magnus.”

He sighs. “We’ve kissed.”

Catarina raises an eyebrow and waits. And waits. And huffs a surprised laugh. “Wait, that’s it?” Magnus squirms a bit in his seat. This wasn’t the direction he saw this conversation going but he trusts Cat with his life – so why not with his love life?

“… yes…” he finally admits and she shakes her head disbelievingly.

“You’re saying you, you, have decided to – I don’t know, wait for the right moment? Suddenly, after all those-“

“Well, it’s different this time!” Magnus bursts out and she gets a look on her face like an animal who’s found its prey’s weak spot.

“How is it different.”

“I don’t know, okay, it just feels… like I want it too much? I really, really want to, I need him close - I mean, my magic-“

“Stop talking about your magic, for god’s sake, that’s a whole different thing – Magnus. Magnus Bane. Are you saying... Are you saying you have never truly wanted to have sex with someone before?”

Magnus pales. “O-of course I’m not saying that, I-“ he splutters, and damn, why is the air suddenly so thin in here?

Catarina sends him a look that says to better cut the bullshit right this second. He sighs. His shoulders slump.

“I … I guess I haven’t.”

“You guess?”

“Well, what do you want me to say here?! Sex is supposed to feel good, it does, there are nerves and natural reactions… and the body…”

“Yeah, but Magnus” she takes his face in both her hands. “You know that there’s so much more to it than that, don’t you?”

He just looks at her.

She sighs. “Oh, Mags.”

When was the last time she called him that? He’s not sure he can recall.

“Mags. Let me put it in simple terms for you, as apparently you need them. Sex is not just supposed to be about bodies and stimulating nerve-endings. It’s supposed to be something you really want, not like … reading a book, or eating a really good meal! It’s not supposed to be a pastime.”

“B-but how?” he stammers and it’s like the ground has shifted, like a part of his brain has been awakened that he never wanted to see the light of day. “What’s wrong with me if that’s all it’s ever been to me? If all those people that I slept with, all of the beds I shared, if all of that was just something I… I don’t know.”

A sad smile flitters over Cat’s features. “Nothing is wrong with you, Magnus. Nothing at all. Just… I think what you’re experiencing with Alec, that ‘pulling sensation’ and what else you said, that’s all completely normal. It’s fine, it’s all good, it’s a normal reaction of a person that is physically attracted to another. If you’ve never felt that before, it’s fine, if you have - it’s also fine. You know you can talk to me about this, right?”

“Okay...” he finally whispers into the air between them, and Cat’s mouth parts into a warm grin.

“See, Magnus, it’s all good. This –“ she picks up his wrist from his lap and looks pointedly at the wound “and the fire and whatever else, is your magic trying to reach out. You’ve been caging it in, Mags. You’ve been denying it something it desperately wants, so it’s been trying to find an outlet. Just… let it be. And maybe…” here her grin deepens until her lips stretch uncomfortably, “Maybe you should look up the wedded union rune, hun.”

She lowers his hand gently and gets up, muttering under her breath, “Leave it to Magnus Bane to figure out his sexuality after 400 years.”

And with that, she leaves him alone to think. She has a patient in five minutes, after all.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Results

This… this is not where Magnus expected this investigation to lead. Actually, this is not where he expected anything to lead, but now that he’s here and really thinking about it, he can’t bring himself to regret literally any step of the way.

So.

He doesn’t experience sexual attraction unless it’s with someone he really loves.

That’s him, apparently. Demisexual.

And his magic knew before him. Because of course it did.

He stretches his fingers and watches the little blue spark with a fond smile.

“You didn’t want to hurt me after all, did you? You just wanted to help.” he mumbles and the spark twirls a tiny spiral around itself.

It’s all good. All good.

Well… more or less. There’s still the fact that he really kind of has to tell Alec.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to, just… there’s a certain kind of commitment to being the only person another has ever wanted and he’s not quite sure if… well, let’s just say he doesn’t want to put that on Alexander’s shoulders.

So he does what he always does: He waits. Because if there’s one thing Warlocks have more than enough of, it’s this. Time.

Who cares if he misses Alec like he’s never missed anything or anyone before just within one week? So what if it hurts? It can’t hurt as bad as Alexander inevitably leaving him will, so it’s fine. Magnus is fine.

Apparently, Alexander isn’t.

It takes just nine days of never returned phone calls and general avoidance for an unexpected ring of Magnus’ doorbell in the middle of the night and Alexander’s tired face right there when he opens.

They stare at each other for just a moment, and something within Alec seems to relax the tiniest fraction once he’s looked his boyfriend over for obvious injuries and sees nothing more than deep dark circles underneath his eyes, hands that shake, and pale cheeks.

“Magnus. Please let me in.”

And the High Warlock of Brooklyn steps back without a word.

Alexander moves past him into the hallway, turning around to face him once the door closes. Magnus suddenly finds his carpet rather interesting. Is that a loose thread? He should really -

“Magnus. Mags. Come on, look at me.” - this pattern is outdated, for sure, and the color - “Mags! Please tell me what’s wrong.”

Angel have Mercy.

He tries a smile but it just ends up lopsided and wrong on his face, so he stops. “Nothing is wrong, why would y-”

Alec throws his hands in the air and starts pacing around the room, bursting with nervous energy. “Oh I don’t know, Magnus, maybe just because you decided I wasn’t worth your time anymore right after I chose to be an enormous asshole and nearly pressure you into having sex with me and I-”

“You didn’t pressure me.” It comes out weak and shaky when it should have been decisive. Alec stops his pacing to look at him, though, and oh Angel no, there are tears in his eyes. Real tears, honest and from the heart, and they hurt. He never knew tears could hurt this much.

“Well then what is it? What did I do to just make you, what, forget about me?” Alexander stammers, “Did you just suddenly realize I wasn’t enough for you? I know I’m not-”

“Alexander, please, please just stop.” Magnus steps forward to cup his boyfriend’s face. “It’s nothing like that.”

Alec breathes deeply and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, there’s a calm within them that wasn’t there before and for the first time, Magnus thinks ‘Maybe it isn’t just me. Maybe he’s just as affected by this, maybe I have the same effect on him that he has on me’. It’s a nice thought… but he has things to fix.

“Will you let me explain, Alexander?” he asks, and thank the Angel: Alec nods.

They find their way into the lounge and to the sofa which has returned to its original violet, thankfully.

Alexander looks out of place, in a way, a bit lost in the cushions like a child waiting to be scolded for a forbidden deed.

But there’s no scolding to be done.

“I have an apology to make, Alexander” Magnus breathes after a moment of thought, “My… absence these past days has had nothing to do with you, darling.”

Alec frowns. “Are you… sure about that?” he asks, but it sounds more like a statement. A sigh escapes Magnus’ mouth as he leans his head back on the couch.

“It’s true, more or less. You did nothing wrong.”

“But it was about me.”

Magnus smiles. “Yes, it was. A good deal more, though, it was about me.”

And with that, he begins to explain.

He talks about his first time, three-hundred-and-some years ago, about the fear and that hole in his chest that no one since then had been able to fill. He talks about needing, wanting, and loving, and about the absence of all three. He says things he has never told anyone, doubts and fears and scars come out in the open and Alec looks at them and listens.

He listens and listens and with each nod of his head and accepting little smile, Magnus falls even more in love with him.

It all feels so… inevitable.

Finally, Alec holds up a hand to stop the flow of words. “So you… you’ve never actually wanted to be intimate with anyone.”

Magnus sighs and rubs his forehead in a gesture so unlike him that it brings the frown right back in Alec’s face.

“Yes, I guess so. I didn’t realize anything about what I just told you back then, though. Actually -” here he grins a little self-deprecating smile and looks up. “- it even took my magic to tell me something had changed.”

A glow in Alec’s eyes lights up at that, it flares like a torch and doesn't stop burning. He might call it… hope. But then he frowns again and Magnus can’t help but think that it needs to stop before it gives him wrinkles.

“Your … magic?” Alec finally asks and Magnus nods, waving his hand in the general direction of the fire place.

“Do you remember the fire? And the shirt? And-“

“- The forest and the light bulbs? Yes, I remember. Did you think I didn’t notice?”

Magnus blushes slightly. “Of course not! … okay maybe. But the point is: I’ve come to the conclusion, with some help, that it was my magic trying to tell me something. It became quite apparent with this.” he admits, pulling up his sleeve and holding his wrist so that Alec can see the scars. And touch them, apparently, because he gasps and immediately runs his fingers over the old wound in one smooth movement.

Then he looks up, mouth agape in unmasked surprise. “You… Magnus, you know what this is, right?”

He smiles softly. “I know.”

Alec blushes and bites his lip.

“And you said something has… changed? For you?” he whispers and it sounds like an invitation.

Magnus turns around in the cushions and lays his head right next to Alexander’s shoulder. He looks him in the eyes and says:

“Yes, I… I met you.”

Alec kisses him, there and then.

~ Magnus’ Magic Mystery: Conclusion?

When Magnus wakes up the next morning, it’s to Alec in golden sheets, snoring softly into the pillows. His hair is bathed in the warm glow of the sunlight streaming in through the windows and the sight is so beautiful it hurts.

Suddenly, the blankets vanish.

Alec wakes up to the crackling of magic along his spine and the sound of Magnus’ roaring laughter, wiping at his mouth in sleepy confusion.

“M-magnus, what- HEY where did the blankets go??”

But Magnus just keeps laughing.

Hope you liked it!! I really wanted to explore this side of Magnus a bit more.

@maleclamp I think you might enjoy this ^^

#Malec #Alec lightwood #alec #Magnus bane #magnus #shadowhunters #tmi #the mortal instruments #demisexuality #my stuff #first time #2x07 #2x18 #Alexander Lightwood #Alexander

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