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I know a lot of people don't agree with me, but episode 118 really hit me with what I like most about Bells Hells: they're just so human. They're not perfectly tailored class archetypes like Vox Machina (no shade, my first D&D character was exactly the same). They're not character studies like the Mighty Nein (again no shade--I love the mighty Nein and their character arcs so much). The Bells Hells are, at their core, people. They're asked to make world shaking decisions and can't decide, because every decision feels like the wrong one. They go with their impulses, good or bad, because they're not heroes. They're not optimized towards making the best choice. They're doing their best to 1) survive first and 2)help others second. The majority of people you meet are exactly the same. As someone watching, it can feel unsatisfying. You're here for a story, and they aren't hitting the expected beats. But man are they reacting exactly like I would if I was in their shoes, and that's why I love them

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Bell’s Hells as textposts 81/???

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saw a tweet about how we're looking to deep into chetney's actions and basically "he's an old man it's not that serious" and it's like...once again people are diminishing chetney's actions purely because he's old and a "joke" character. they did this for most of the campaign saying chetney was just a weird creep to fearne, ignoring all the lovely interactions because some people are obsessed with chetney just being Old. that's the only aspect of him some people see. "he knows he's gonna die soon, that's why he's doing this. it's not heroic." okay. but do you realize chetney going on what he considers a suicide mission, using himself as a shield (protecting imogen in 117, orym in 118, fearne and imogen in 118) because he thinks he's going to die soon is still...heroic? compelling? "it's not that deep" if any other character stepped in front of what is called a god eater, with a hand out, to stop them from touching fearne and imogen, i would see twelve paragraph essays on this site about what a hero they are. chetney loves his friends. he cares about them deeply. he is funny and he is old but that is not the basis of what he is. throughout the campaign he has shown different ways of caring for the team, different ways of helping them and some of you still don't see it at all and it's really sad because he's such a good character

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A cosmos of possibilities, ordered loosely from best-case to catastrophic failure:

Bell's Hells are able to expel Predathos from Imogen's body and destroy Predathos permanently

Liliana takes Imogen's place as the vessel and is able to control Predathos, but possibly must stay on Ruidus forever

Imogen is able to control Predathos and curb/redirect it's hunger, but possibly must stay on Ruidus forever

Liliana takes Imogen's place as the vessel but Bell's Hells must kill her to kill Predathos

Imogen is unable to control Predathos and Bell's Hells must kill Imogen to kill Predathos

Imogen is unable to control Predathos and her body disintegrates just like the mortal forms of the gods in Downfall

Ludinus returns and completes his plan and Bell's Hells are unable to stop him

Ira was the BBEG all along

Bell's Hells are TPK'd. Vox Machina /Mighty Nein are called in to finish Predathos

Some/most Primes and Betrayers flee from Exandria before they can be eaten

Predathos for some reason only eats the Betrayers, possibly causing a war between the Primes and Predathos

Predathos for some reason only eats the Prime Deities, leaving the Betrayers as the only gods of Exandria and possibly causing a war between the Betrayers and Predathos

Predathos devours both the Prime Deities and the Betrayer Gods. No gods on Exandria. No clerics.

Ruidus is fully destroyed or permanently corrupted like Molaesmyr. All Ruidian life is destroyed

The Divine Gate falls, allowing the Primes and Betrayers to return to Exandria, possibly starting a new Calamity/god-war

Predathos devours everything. Everything. The gods, Exandria, and beyond.

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As always, spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 3 Episode 118 below. I'll share some constructive thoughts free of negativity and rage-typing.

There's been one consistent element in all of CR, and that is theme. Each final fight in each campaign has been filtered through the theme of the narrative that specific story was trying to tell.

Vox Machina had to accept that they could not save everybody and that loss is part of life and that cannot change, despite how badly some people might try to cope with it, like Delilah did.

Mighty Nein had to save a friend they had lost, the family they had built together, they had to show to each other and themselves that their villainy was not all that they had started out as.

Bells Hells had to clench their teeth and keep fighting the inner demon inside each of us, the inner oblivion, the inner darkness that threatens to come out and hurt you and the ones you love through your own insecurities. The past that hurts and must be confronted in order to move on, unless we run the risk of repeating it.

The "story" has never been Vecna, or Cognouza, or Predathos. The plot has never been Delilah, or Lucien, or Ludinus. The true story has always been about who these people are, what makes them tick, what makes them "better" than the challenges and challengers they face. Why they are the protagonists and their foils are the ones they decide to oppose.

Why do Delilah and Vecna lose? Because death is part of life and that cannot be changed, only accepted, that should stay that way despite the pain it brings. Vox Machina accept that.

Why do Cognouza and Lucien lose? Because being self-absorbed and thinking we are unredeemable breaks us and the world around us, leaving us alone and the world worse than we found it. Mighty Nein achieve this epiphany.

Why should Bells Hells run away from the threat of this inner demon inside their reality, their world? Why should Bells Hells just go back to Exandria without having faced the thing in the mirror? There are uncomfortable truths that can never be put back in the box ever again. Sure, you can protect the cage and stop people from getting to Predathos. But a moon built by the gods could not stop one simple man pushed by the sheer power of his grief and anger. However long it may take, it WILL happen again, because it already has.

Because the past will always be there waiting for us all, for them. It applies to Ludinus, to Exandria and to the gods themselves, the reality of having to face the darkest part of yourself, the horror of you that you refuse to look at until it comes back to stab you in the back. For the gods this has been the creation of Ruidus, the destruction of Aeor and the Calamity. And it has been the thing each of the Hells has been running from at some point in time: themselves.

Orym's self-perceived betrayal in starting to love again and having to hurt his friends through a blind crusade that was never black and white to begin with.

Ashton's self-destructive tendencies and the blind idolatry that destroyed the Hishari, their anger towards loss and misfortune.

Fearne's fear of what she might become given the wrong choices she makes, that her chaos might become what unravels her.

Chetney's literal inner monster that cannot be controlled and reasoned with. The truth of him being the wolf in toymaker's clothing.

FCG's inner fight of whether they're a healer or a killer, whether they're alive or not. The creation that needs something good to give them purpose.

Dorian's tendency of running away from duties and the center of the spotlight, whether he's worthy of it or not.

Laudna's struggle to embrace her agency both with her good and bad choices. Her struggle to see her self-worth and award it with her own happiness.

Imogen's pull to Predathos, the desire to belong to something at all, the craving for inner peace and silence. The craving for motherhood and being wanted.

One would say now "But they all fail in that, they are not heroic at all, they are all selfish in their pursuits". Yes, they do fail to resist to their own demons, just like Ludinus fails to overcome his own. But this is where Bells Hells set themselves apart from Ludinus, by the way they decide to stand up after the pain, by the way they decide to react to life after what life has done to them. In a constructive way, rather than destructive one, choosing community and forgiveness over solitude and resentment. Choosing not to wield truth as a weapon but to use it as a lens through which the world can be better understood.

Life is never all wins. We keep falling many times, and this story shows that. Some times some people do not come back from that brink, and this story shows that. Some people may try to show the will to at least begin to climb back up, and this story shows that.

Bells Hells punch each other in the face, they keep arguing about what to do in front of an impossible decision where all the options suck, they agree, disagree, over and over and over again. They bleed each other when sometimes it's the only way to knock some sense into their heads. They succumb to their own faults and choices and misguided ambitions, they are not different in that from any well written protagonist. Or each of us, really. Some of us get pissed at them because of how much we unconsciously see ourselves in them, how much their indecision resonates with our perceived inability to do good in our real world because each choice is somehow tainted or made inconsequential by external factors. We need them to make the right choices, because in a fictional world, at least, we hope that it is possible. But an opinion that cannot be countered is born from a point of view completely removed from reality and thus fruitless and devoid of any chance for growth and personal enrichment. Choices sometimes feel ugly because no matter what we do, we will leave a piece of ourselves behind. This is not a tragic world but a real one. Our world.

Bells Hells feel underwhelming because they don't satisfy a power fantasy. They are instead real people, self-crippled and yet still standing, because the alternative is to surrender to the unlucky hand that life dealt to each of them.

So the narrative makes them show up as the best answer to pain and anguish, they keep standing up not because of resentment, but in spite of it. They don't retaliate, they try to do better next time. THIS sets them apart from what they face: the past, the pain, the self.

Imogen had to fall to the draw, and even as motivated as she was by the possibility of either vanquishing Predathos while he is inside her as a vessel or getting him out of the cage in order to stop the cycle of calamity, there was no avoiding that inner demon for long. Nobody ever resists forever, we as mortal certainly do not have that capacity. But we are defined by how we react to the damage we take and by the people we surround ourselves with that will pull us out from the brink.

Imogen's arc was to prepare her and her friends to this very scenario, ever since the first time FCG snapped. It was what fate itself kept testing them for, it was the Matron's test for them too.

This campaign is the embodiment of mental illness and tough love, of good natured people with many good intentions that get it wrong many times but still stand up again to give it a second try.

This campaign is the embodiment of the complexities of even the most normal of lives, the little pains, the big pains, the frustrations with systems that do not work and that somehow we still have to interact with every day, no matter how much they hurt us, because there is no perceived alternative.

This campaign is the embodiment of the questions we ask ourselves each day. "Why am I here, why am I doing this? Am I doing this right? If I do or don't do this, does that mean I'm a bad person? What happens after to me, to the people I care about? Am I worthy of the space I occupy in the universe? Why should I even feel the obligation to earn such a right?"

The "goal" for Bells Hells was never to keep the status quo, but rather to answer to the question "Once you're faced with that possibility, with the inner monster wreaking havoc inside your world, what are you going to do about it? Will the decision be met with a destructive sentiment or with an open mind and the will to not let the inner monster of the world take over?"

Their story asks them if they are the ones brave enough to face the past with peace in their hearts and souls strong enough to bear whatever burden they are destined to carry. We don't know what that looks like just yet, but like real people, they just happened to be chosen by circumstance and as such they were always going to be able to decide once and for all only when faced with the whole truth.

That said...

THURSDAY CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH!

I'll stop writing these walls of words someday, I promise (I can certainly try)

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Robbie on Cooldown saying the creepy child Predathos instantly made him go “fuck this I’m pro-God now” is the most valid

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It's so interesting watching perspectives on this episode because some people are just like, BH never really had a choice and this was always going to happen, this campaign sucks, or omg, I can't believe BH made the stupidest decision possible, this party sucks.

And I'm just here like... They made the only decision they could in the moment, knowing that Ludinus was likely coming back, knowing that any Ruidusborn could breach the last three barriers. The die was already cast, in the end BH stood together and said, we have to try to make it not as bad as it will be if Ludinus or a Ruidusborn under his control does it.

That says so much about who these characters are and who they are to each other. During the first half of the episode, each of them told Ludinus why they were there and it all came down to, we're here to stop you from doing this, and we're here together.

The difference is love. They love each other, they love the world, and as the Matron promised, love will save them.

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Mentioning Tusk Love and the potential of other independent stories set in Exandria reminded me of an old discord conversation about how they could Fix the courting of the crick for publishing (seeing as it's canonically a Bad Book due to being super dry and also racist towards drow) without breaking canon:

Rename it 'The Courting of the Kryn - a Reimagining of the Classic Story, by Jester Lavorre'

Present it as an in-universe fanfic-ish rewrite. There's a foreword where 'Jester' elaborates on the inaccuracies of the original, the impact the story had on her, and the importance of Dynasty-Empire relations. There's an acknowledgement section where she thanks Caleb and Beau as 'consultants on Empire culture', as well as an unnamed/under fake name/clearly Essek as an 'expert on the Luxon, dunamancy and Dynasty culture'. All his information on spy networks is eerily accurate and has his former co-workers scrambling. (He makes her keep all the dry historical accounts, but now it's accurate (with added dick-related puns)). She mentions that she reached out to the Bright Queen who reluctantly (after 5 messages in a row) gave some pointers. In her frantic research she possibly made some breakthroughs on the nature on the Luxon that has Essek reeling (there's a 'further reading' section where she lists the academic paper he wrote building on her discoveries and an entire list of the sources her consultants used).

For extra fun and meta-ness, include footnotes where she comments on things she changed/removed from the original and why, how various scenes may have been inspired by a real life couple or events, etc. Some of the footnotes are written by her consultants. Caleb and Essek get into arguments on dunamancy theory which is actually thinly veiled flirting. There's anatomically accurate drow sex (it's unclear whether the consultant was Essek or Caleb or possibly a certain brother, who was also consulted on Dynasty military practices).

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You know I'm so glad that they kind of confirmed in Cooldown that it could have been ANY Ruidusborn that freed Predathos. Imogen (and Fearne) wasn't "chosen", she was just a normal lonely girl who was looking for a place to belong. She was vulnerable to the pull of Predathos exactly the same way every other Ruidusborn was. It didn't care who came; it just happened to be her.

It was *Ludinus* who needed a super special Exaltant One in order to steal their essence and take their place. While releasing Predathos on the universe will almost certainly have terrible world-ending consequences, Ludinus was the one who ruined Imogen's life and singled her out. She isn't the main character in the story of Exandria, she's the main character in Ludinus's.

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they did what they could with what they knew and i'll die on that hill

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Run, Rabbit, Run.

I recently got semi access to a laser tool, so I took This Piece (link HERE) and separated the layers to add depth. I was surprised at how detailed the laser could be with the engraving and am excited to see what I can do in the future! The wood look, the smell and the depth of the piece adds so much, I really love it. Maybe Mr C-Pop would be proud of it.

[Image Description: A photoset of a wooden art piece of Orym of the Air Ashari from Critical Role. The art piece is several layers of stained wood staked on top of each other with a box around the layers. The bottom layer is burned engravings of a forest with the background painted with a blue wash and the moon a vivid red. The next layer are the hills, then Orym as he runs, then the foreground grasses and storybook borders to the left and right. On top of all the layers and breaking out of the box are the four rabbits which run in an arch, the rabbits have a gray wash on their body and the eyes are painted a terrified red, the same as the moon. Most of the piece is the stained wood color, though Orym has a brown and green wash for some detail. END ID]

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I know that Caleb and Essek were both playing the long game and trying to manipulate each other prior to the cease fire, but it’s still very funny that these two highly intelligent wizards went ‘Ah, yes I will beguile him with my many spells and knowledge of the arcane to trick him into thinking he can trust me.’

And both of them fucking idiots that they are fell for it.

And then doubled down and said ‘But what if you could actually trust me? What if I used my spells to actually flirt with you? What if I stopped in the middle of a battle to pull you from underneath some rubble and you pressed your forehead to mine? What if we called each other partners for the next seven years and had an engagement portrait painted and hung in our home?’

Like I don’t know if you failed at the first step or succeeded.

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Critical Role campaign 3 episode 116, "The Weave Mind"

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In Tarot the Ace of Swords stands for a break through, clarity and a new beginning, while the Ace of Cups stands for love, new relationships, compassion and creativity.

I thought these two cards could, in a lovely way, represented that moment in Joe and Nicky’s journey, where their lives shift direction, and something new and beautiful is born.

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dorian interlacing his fingers and putting his hands down for orym to step onto if he chooses to,,, knowing full well orym can do it on his own,,, offering himself because he wants to,,, oh I am reacting to this like a victorian era woman with a feeble constitution

it’s just the way dorian has always, always both a) taken orym’s height into consideration, constantly moving smoothly down to his level without comment or effort and b) never, ever considered orym’s height a barrier or a burden in any way, knowing orym is fully capable of moving through the world, defending him (“he’s not an actual child.”) whenever there’s even the slightest chance someone isn’t being considerate, and confidently announcing how capable orym is to anyone in earshot,,,