#delicious things to consoom

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola! Thank you for the tag today, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe! Instead of six sentences, today I bring you "six somethings" - six places I'm excited to eat while I'm in London (March 24-April 7)!

If anyone has any recommendations for favourite places to eat in London, PLEASE let me know! 🍽️😋

I'll tag up here because this post is a long boi. Hello hello hello to a buncha folks! @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @dohrnaira @ebbpettier @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @ionlydrinkhotwater @imagineacoolusername @larkral @raenestee @onepintobean @theimpossibledemon @whogaveyoupermission @tectonicduck

6.) Pret (Heathrow)

I know Shepard loses his tiny mind over the sandwiches from Pret, but. I dream of their Chocolate Moose. I have an absurd amount of food allergies, so finding a Chen-friendly, ready made chocolate mousse is a dream come true. So excited to cram it into my face after I clear Customs.

From My Good Egg, Good morning, good night, good morning:

“All right.” Simon goes back to fiddling with Bunce’s phone, and then he says to Bunce, hopeful, “Any chance you brought the rest of my baguette from Pret?”

Bunce says, slowly and carefully, “Simon. I do not know the whereabouts of your airport sandwich. I was rather busy figuring out where you had disappeared to.” 

5.) Borough Market

I have very fond memories of Borough Market from the first/last time I visited London back in 2018. I remember sticking my head in a jar full of dried truffles and just inhaling all that amazing, savoury, umami truffly goodness. (Like, you know, the way that normal humans do.)

From What's Left by @cutestkilla:

I’ve been hanging around Borough Market quite a bit, and I’ve had everything from cheese and croissants to chorizo and balsamic vinegar (in small sample portions only). I think, though, that my favourite thing so far was a fresh buttered wild garlic scone that I bought with some of my stolen money after trying a sample.

4.) MotherMash (Covent Garden)

I also had a good time with a pal at MotherMash years ago - I think instead of pie, I had bangers and mash with gravy, and a tiny, perfect apple pie. My spouse has never been here, but he does frequently say, "I would like to eat a whole pie," and now he will be able to eat TWO pies - one for his main, and one for dessert.

From A cake with your name on it:

Baz was still fuming about the tasting when we met up at his flat for dinner. We had takeaway from MotherMash, and Baz kept stabbing his steak and Stoutheart pie instead of eating it. 

“I’ve never met such an idiot,” he said. “A bumbler. A fool. An absolute nightmare.” 

“Okay,” I said. “We still have that list from my mother with three other bakeries.” 

Baz whipped his head around to stare at me. 

“No,” he said, loudly. Too loudly. He was oddly flushed. “I don’t care if I have to murder and then resurrect him - Simon Snow is making our wedding cake.” 

3.) Brick Lane Beigel Bake (Shoreditch)

I asked my spouse, EarlobeGreyTea, what he wanted to do or eat or see while we're in London and all he would say, over and over again, was "Bagel." He is a remarkably easygoing travel companion.

From an earlier draft of My Good Egg, which ended up getting cut/changed:

They get to Brick Lane before Baz can embarrass himself any further, and he waits outside of a bagel shop until Simon comes out with a salt beef bagel crammed into his mouth, and a very full paper bag. “This one’s for you,” he says, holding out a salmon and cream cheese bagel to Baz. 

Baz takes it, but doesn’t bite into it right away. “Thank you,” he says, slowly, thinking that maybe offering food is one of Simon’s love languages as well, along with killing things. The rats seem to be a lucky intersection. 

2.) E Pellici's (Bethnal Green)

I think my favourite full English breakfast that I ever had was at Pellici's, which is tiny and and owned by an Italian family. The owner spent most of the time I was there embarrassing one of his teenage employees and a girl who was interviewing him for a school project. The owner high fived me when I bought a t-shirt and he went slack-jawed at my powerful, resounding high five. It was great.

From an unpublished bit of My Good Egg:

In the car, Baz passes both slices of fruitcake to Simon, and Simon practically dances in his seat. 

“Are you sure?” Simon asks, “like, really, really sure? Cause I’m telling you, this is really fucking amazing fruitcake, and you can’t buy it most of the time unless you order it special - they don’t even have it on the menu anymore.” “They’re yours, Simon,” Baz says. Honestly, Simon Snow is impossible. He was ready to kill a man for Baz, or not kill a man for him, and now he’s beaming at Baz because of some fruitcake. He needs to pin Simon to a mattress and keep him there — with handcuffs, with a collar, with a ring.

1.) Dishoom (King's Cross)

Dishoom is like... truly magical. That house black daal is no joke. I lack words to describe how amazing the food is - just check out their site (but honestly, it will make you hungry). Everything I've ever had there was fucking delicious and the place and the atmosphere is so gorgeous, just lush and colourful and immersive.

I shared another snippet before about Dishoom from My Good Egg, but here's Simon on the phone with Agatha right after he's ordered takeaway:

“Hey Ags. How’re you – no, I’m not bleeding or throwing up or on fire. I – yeah, I know you said not to call you when you’re at work unless I was bleeding or throwing up or on fire, but this is an – look, it’s not for me this time, all right? Or Penny. It’s for a friend – okay, rude, I have friends other than you and Penny!” Pause. “Yes, Agatha, we’re friends, even if you – yeah, I know you said you would never do another house visit, but you said that the last time, too!” 

Baz leans back so he can catch Bunce’s eyes, and mouths, What the fuck?  

Bunce just rolls her eyes and shrugs, like, He’s Simon, what can you do about it?  

“Well,” Simon says, triumphant, “we already ordered the daal for you, so there!” Pause. “Yeah, love you too. Bye.”  

RIPs & Honourable Mentions

Cinnamon Soho (also mentioned in "A cake with your name on it") - They closed down during the pandemic. But they had a delicious Indian afternoon tea 🥲

Cereal Killer Cafe - This place was rec'd to me by one of my British co-workers (his seven kids were mad for it), but sadly, they closed their storefront during the pandemic and went online. (In my headcanon, this was where Winifred from My Good Egg wanted to go for her(?) first(?) birthday)

Fortnum & Mason - I WILL be going here to buy tea and biscuits (and to replace one of my favourite tote bags, LOL), but not for high tea or afternoon tea. (We have a few other places lined up for that, including The Swan at the Globe and Tea House Theatre). Sorry, Daphne!

Nando's - I suggested to my spouse that we should get cheeky Nando's and have top bants and he gave me a dead-eyed look as if his soul left his body

Again, if you have any recommendations of favourite places to eat in London, please let me know!

I mean, I suppose I'll be doing other things besides eating, like hanging out with my beautiful friends, going to stationery shops, visiting the flower market, seeing shows and things... but really, food is the main draw. 😂😂😂

Happy Sunday!

[horrible-monstrosity]

episode starts with our useless cunt characters standing around faffing about clothes and makeup and inconsequential shit, and showing gendergirl ina sports bra for...... some reason, i don't know nif it was supposed to prove she's a real girl's girl or what but her tits are pitifully small i feel sorry for idol's mom. she's obviously got her own problems but the way she acts towards idol, in the brief time we see her in this scene, makes her seem genuinely decent towards her while idol is just a whiny brat who wants her daddy back for no reason. congrats, i feel even less sympathy for this girl now than ever before!! forced drama huzzah!!! 'wow main isn't a shut-in anymore, so sudden!' calling attention to it doesn't excuse it 'what happened?' bitch i don't fucking know ask the writers. idol randomly declares it kinky because HWAT THE FUCK WHY then idol pulls out a random array of photos of her mom gold digging and asks which one's her father... holy fucking shit this is so astoundingly retarded it's almost funny. i'd laugh if if this show hadn't made me so dead inside. aidoru then INFORMS us that mamma throws fits and says she would have been happier without aidoru even thought we've seen absolutely nothing like that demonstrated. it's acting like it's trying to set aidoru up as a hypocrite, but we're given so little development of the mother that it's impossible to make any connection between these words and the mother, whether that be that they're true or that idol's being a little bitch. there's no room for making the mom subtly flawed, because there's no room for detail at all, and the writers have decided against making her an obvious monster (yet, anyway, though I'd actually be surprised if they portray a woman as genuinely bad as they've implied eagle-sensei to be), so there's just this complete disconnect that makes it hard to, you know, give a fuck one way or the other. By the way, what happens if one of the eggukas commits sudoku themselves, anyway? Will she show up as one of the other girls' statues, or end up in an egg herself? Is there a conflict of interest clause that prevents something like that from happening? Brownie girl, who has no defined personality, tries to be reasonable about it and gets called a goody-two-shoes. She is neither the reasonable one nor the goody-two-shoes one, because she does not have a defined personality aside from beng, like, kind of serious or something. By the way, where the fuck are they again? They seem to just like hanging around is grubby abandoned buildings, which might be a part of the eggland where the mannequin's garden is, but that place apparently exists in real space anyway so they're basically just hanging out in some... abandoned building, somewhere. despite sperging to the group about being nearly murdered by her suicidal little sister, brownie never told gendergirl that she ddn't have any parents, so they can milk that scene for some additional 2deep4u droma idol decides to tell us that she specifically.... fantaises about her daddy...... who told her beautiful girls don't need a wallet (because they can have sugar daddies)....... then she starts crying about i wants so sees him naaaaoooowwww which i can't take the slughtest bit seriously because she just made it sound like she wants to fuck him for money. also she sure is desperate to see a man we've barely heard about up until THIS EXACT EPISODE, huh? Aww, how sweet, despite working hard at the bar to entertain allll these old men, mamma idol managed to get her daughter a delicious birthday cake. Idol doesn't give a shit. coolholy SHIT that turtle's design is terrible. what's with the teeth, the red nose, the random sprout of hair?? it's disgusting! we're given the most LOOK HOW MUCH DRMATIC DEEP IT IS cutting windup ever and it's stopped by the turtle staring dumbly at her. dear god that thying is hideous. why are its teeth fucking DARK GREEN? whoever designed this thing is the one who needs to go cut themselves. shame!! for some reason the turdle ignores her command to go back into the pokeball for a moment. why? i dunno, the mechanics of this have never been explored or developed in the slightest. instead of standing there fucking dumbly, it woulda been nice if it had moved, maybe given her a little poke with its fugly turtle paw, demonstrating that it cared and making it actually matter/giving a reason for idol to put it back in its ball... but like whatever i guess oh and also this entire time we've been cutting back and forth with some random dreamworl battle that could legitimately be taken out entirely without impacting the plot at the moment at the slightest. is the battle before the cutting scene? after? I don't know, fuck you, get emotionally attached and consoom because there's a sad anime girl on-screen and don't ask questions. as usual the dream fight makes no fucking sense, the girl has a burn on her face but her issue is that... a cultist... I... fuck it nothing matters LOL THE EGG GIRL JUST RUSHES UP TO IDOL AND STARTS SPILLING HER BACKSTORY, LITERALLY COOL STORY NO ONE FUCKING CARES BRUH main randomly stops in the middle of whatever fight she's doing and demands to be told what idol's up to, at the exact moment idol decides to off herself because the egg girl said like five words to her about sudoku. why did she know when to ask? what the fuck fight is she doing where she can afford to waste time standing around like this? then everyone else is listening too, i guess we were all just doing fucking nothing today. WHY DID HE GET THROUGH TO HER SO COMPLETELY IS LIKE TEN SECONDS? IS SHE THAT WEAK OR IS THIS SHOW JUST THAT FUCKING STUPID?? She was not having these thoughts before, she was just cutting because she was being pissy about her mom not giving her daddy's dick!! but DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!! ZIP ZOOM CONSOOM CONSOOM!! 'we're all here for yoo~~' but fucking why? she should be creeped out by the fact you were all randomly listening in on her in such a private, fragile moment, even if that moment had no reason to exist. and again what the fUCK ARE YOU ALL DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN BATTLES THAT YOU HAVE TIME TO WASTE ON THIS SHIT?

then the... lizard pops out of its pokeball on its own for no reason. because establishing consistent mechanics, what's that? oh, its because muh 'imprinting', i remember them using that word earlier. totally a get out of writing an actual character arc and coherent storyline free card, cool! and you gotta protect your... mother....... i................ NO YOU DUMB SHIT, YOUR MOTHER IS THE ONE PROTECTING YOU, OR AT THE VERY LEAST SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH HER OLD GOLD DIGGING VICTIMS AGAIN. i almost became a bad piece-of-shit mother uwu like my mother who i hate for no reason even though she raised be just fine and did nothing wrong uwuu and the real moral of this story is that.............. .v . ................... ... ............men who ask women for money are baaaaad. BUT THE OPPOSITE IS JUST FINE AND DANDY, HUH. YOUR GOLD-DIGGING MAMA CAN USE MAN AS A WALLET FOR AS LONG AS SHE LIKES THEN CUT TIES WITH HIM AND PRETEND HE'S THE BAD ONE FOR WANTING SOME EQUITY, BUT THE OPPOSITE IS SOOO BAAAD. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH A CULT LEADER??? where's the fucking writer of this shiw and HOW MUCH WOULD IT FUCKING COST TO HAVE THEM REMOVED FROM THE HUMAN RACE ENTIRELY???? then for some reason the turtle just turns into an electronic beyblade... god fuck this show. and apparently idol comes to the conclusion that cutting herself is..... good....... brownie, despite having said nothing except a generic 'do yuh best' thing, neither for or against the character that supposedly makes her an ungirly goody-two-shoes, because of course she has no character, has reconciled with idol somehow. sigh