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I know this is a long shot but are there any genshin and/or star rail fans in ohio (or maybe even western pennsylvania) lurking on this website? (especially if you enjoy cosplay!) please come to me. I require friends to do cool stuff with.
#genshin impact#honkai star rail#if you dont cosplay or arent interested then ill also take you if you are into photography/videography and know how to use a camera#basically i want to shoot cosplay videos and photoshoots and require assistance. it would also be super fun to do these projects with others#i mean. i doubt i'll get a response. and if i do it will probably be someone on the opposite corner of the state#but i dont know where im supposed to find people and i failed to talk to people at the fan expo cleveland 😭#delete later if no response
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Jesus man, relax.
#this was in response to me saying “lunar new year” on the rarity art#personal#delete later#what in insane nonproblem to get this angry about#i asked my parents (taiwanese immigrants) about this and they said we use either but prefer lunar new year#because it's inclusive to koreans and vietnamese people who celebrate on the same day#lunar new year is an umbrella term same as “happy holidays.” this person is basically getting mad i said happy holidays instead of#merry christmas.#my family and i identify more as taiwanese than chinese so. we're not gonna say chinese new year much anyways#i sent this to my mom btw and she replied with basically “die mad i guess.” love you ma#this literally doesn't matter anyways i could have said “chinese new year” to caption that post and it wouldn't have mattered#the only reason i didn't is because i plan on drawing another art including carol (coco pommel) who's korean and celebrates the same day#like. most people in china/taiwan don't care they just say “happy new year” cuz it's the fuckin new year. someone saying lunar new year is#not erasure it's not flattening asian identities into a monolith. it's just an umbrella term.#anyways happy lunar new year happy chinese new year happy tet happy spring festival happy seollal#like i cannot stress enough to you guys that these holidays are on the exact same day and celebrate basically the same exact thing.#this is not an issue.
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Sorry I seriously can't stop thinking about "Jimmy please hidef". This is bad and incomprehensible but. What is hiding gonna do for him Joel. Are you frantically throwing just whatever out there. Is it upsetting that you couldn't do anything last time and you can't do anything this time and really have no room to tell him what to do regardless because he's not an ally? But you want him to survive, you want him in the top 10, you want him in the top 5; at the very least, anything but for him to be the first one to die, and he plummets to red this early. Are you worried? All you can do or think of is to tell him to hide? In some impossible space in which he can't be hurt? Are you scared?
#and now the moral distress of being legitimately frustrated at Jimmy and not for him. next episode will be interestinv#interesting*. oh boy. sorry again I dont really know how to verbalize shit but this is making me feel and hurt a lot#god damn it why does that stupid rushed line really do it for me. his desperation for Jimmy not to die#who says that. “jimmy please” ok. reasonable. but what kinda response is it to tell him to hide... pain#might delete later#blabber#smallidarity#trafficshipping
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Hiya! I’m working on my first design exhibition of the year focusing on connections and fear and it would be cool if anyone could help me out by answering a question on this Google Form :)
#tbh I have no idea now if my final is going to be able to include these responses but!#it would be good to have them in the event they can!#pray for me I am so behind on this project 💀#delete later
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today in therapy (at a rape crisis centre) i spoke about something that i've never been able to before. my therapist told me a few minutes later it sounds like i'm transgender and should try a chest binder. when i told her i identified as trans most of my life detransitioned after being on hormones, she couldn't understand why i would go back to being female. the implication - a damaged, self-hating female. i feel betrayed, like she broke my trust in some way after i told her the most horrific thing i went through. it took a long time to be able to say this and i'm still a little ashamed to discuss it online but i'm a csa survivor with chronic pain and scarring in my genitals as a result. of course i want to escape my body. of course i hate my curves and breasts. does that make me less of a woman? is binding my chest, causing pain and breathlessness, the solution instead of punishing the men who hurt me? how many other girls are told the same thing as me and don't have the knowledge and experience i do? i'm so upset.
#responses appreciated#i really like my counsellor i just don't think she knows enough about transgenderism#tw rape#please please don't judge me for this post#I'll delete it later#vent#lav.txt
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Few things make me or annoyed than the argument that Héra is not-like-other-girls or has no personality.
My girl’s first scene in the whole movie is her going on a camping trip with the end goal of throwing a leg of mutton at an eagle. Which, according to her, her older brother told her would get her ripped limb from limb. Her first response to a rabid oliphant is ‘huh. I know what could eat that!’ and then stays to watch it happen. Freca is right, this girl is feral and I love her for it.
As for the not like other girls… where? That tired moment of ‘why do i have to wear a dress, i wish i could just wear pants’ never happens. Fréaláf comments not on her clothes as being unusual but the fact that she’s managed to keep them free of mud. She’s been trained to fight, sure, but that doesn’t seem unusual for women of the royal family. Besides, you will never convince me that she wasn’t the kind of little sibling that insisted on doing everything Háma did for the first ten years of her life. She doesn’t want to get married. That’s it. Full stop.
#just an angry litte ramble#but really she is a but unhinged with her responses#her immediete response to Háma’s death is I’M GOING TO FUCKING GET HIM#and it takes two guards to drag her back into the keep#which is fair#but then there is also the messenger eagle thing#and the implications of there being no note in the box#fréaláf saw his uncle’s armor carried by an eagle and knew exactly what had happened#war of the rohirrim#héra of rohan#Héra#i may delete this later
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Found my old economics exam paper from back in highschool… safe to say i dont remember any of this shit
#i used to be able to count government taxes… oh old me you were very cool and responsible#delete later#now i can measure how many cigarette intake i can consume per day
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Best Friends & Orange Cassidy vs Miro & Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford Feud (Oct 2020 - Mar 2021)
Hey, I finally finished putting this together! (its just tv stuff, i missed any twitter tweets)
I've supplied (brief) summaries, hyperlinks, and timestamps for each show, mostly to fite/triller where you can directly watch them if you have an AEW+ sub. If you don't, I tried to include some youtube/twitter alternative links where applicable. I've also left the bilibili video ids from before I got fite/triller, they're in blue.
(My advice: feel free to skip straight to Jan 06 2021.)
It's a looooong post, so its under this readmore. You can also find it as a separate page on my tumblr here. if i end up hosting it anywhere else i'll edit the original post and put a link here as well maybe
by zon :)
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OCT 14 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-anniversary-show-live-results-four-title-matches-322571
The feud begins. The first match of the show is Best Friends vs FTR. Kip and Penelope are… playing… on an arcade cabinet in the arena. Trent accidentally destroys the cabinet while fighting FTR. Kip and Penelope to run off. After the match ends, they return with Miro who beats up Chuck and Trent. After a commercial break, Miro/Kip have a tag match (squash) against Lee Johnson/Sean Maluta and then do a promo about the broken arcade cabinet.
0:16:21 arcade break | 0:20:00 Miro Appears | 0:26:00 Miro/Kip/Penelope postmatch promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-42-20/2p88b/ BV1Rp4y1r7y9
(later on in this show, Orange has a match against Cody for his TNT Championship.)
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OCT 28 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-live-results-world-title-eliminator-semifinals-323741
Returning from supporting Orange Cassidy in his lumberjack match, Best Friends bump into Miro, Kip, and Penelope (MKP, if you will) in the halls. MKP are pretty chill about the whole broken arcade thing and offer them some presents and halloween treats. Chuck and Trent are unamused. MKP then reveal that it was merely a halloween trick™ and beats them up.
1:17:00 best friends + MKP backstage promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-44-20/2p8ac/ BV1j5411L7GM
Also, Orange has a rematch against Cody for that TNT championship since their last match ended due to the time limit. This time its a lumberjack match. Best Friends are present and also take part in the chaos.
54:28 Orange’s match entrance | 57:50 Cody’s entrance (and the rest of the match)
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NOV 2 2020
Excalibur interviews Trent and Miro ahead of their upcoming match on Wednesday over webcam. It’s 6 minutes long, and mostly Excalibur bearing witness to Trent and Miro arguing. Gonna give a shout out to their distinct webcam setups, lol (Trent is using workout earbuds and sitting in what has to be a large dim empty room, Excalibur is in his bedroom, and Miro is in his gamer office with a headset)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N1SZTP8ywc
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NOV 4 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-live-results-full-gear-go-home-show-324296
Trent vs Miro. During the entrances they show a clip from the interview from Nov 2nd. Orange and Chuck are hanging out ringside, as well as Kip and Penelope. Eventually Chuck runs off stage while fighting Kip. Dark Order appear to beat up Orange since hes fighting John Silver at the upcoming Full Gear. Miro scares them off and then defeats Trent with his submission hold. After the match, Miro puts Trent back into his Game Over submission and Chuck runs in to save him. Kip was following close behind. Chuck and Trent get both of their asses kicked. Orange attacks MKP and the two sides split off.
0:23:25 Trent vs Miro | 0:28:00 Chuck leaves | 0:31:00 Dark Order appears | 0:37:23 Match Ends | 39:40 Postmatch ends
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-45-20/2p8cy/ BV1wV41117E7
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NOV 6 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dark-results-daniels-vs-sydal-taylor-vs-johnson-324511
Chuck Taylor fights Lee Johnson on AEW Dark. Nothing MKP-related happens, but at the start Excalibur briefly brings up the ongoing feud Best Friends are having with Miro/Kip/Penelope. Plus its a fun match for AEW Dark.
43:56 Chuck Taylor vs Lee Johnson
https://youtu.be/S_ShrIJ4hVQ?t=2636
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NOV 7 2020
www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-full-gear-live-results-five-title-matches-omega-vs-page-324571
Full Gear! Orange has a match against John Silver. Later on, he gets interviewed by Dasha alongside Best Friends. MKP interrupt the interview– Kip’s mad that Orange’s beef with the Dark Order caused them to show up at the Trent vs Miro match, and that they could’ve hurt Penelope. He asks for an apology from Orange and then immediately slaps him anyway. Best Friends get mad on his behalf but Orange casually says everythings cool and walks with the two of them offscreen. Everyone is confused at how chill he is.
3:09:53 Backstage Interview
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-full-gear-2020/2p83a/ BV18K4y1E7uE
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NOV 11 2020
They play the segment from Full Gear on this Dynamite and announce Kip vs Orange for next week.
1:36:45
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-46-20/2p8ef/
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NOV 18 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-live-results-pac-returns-world-title-contract-signing-325391
Kip Sabian vs Orange Cassidy. Best Friends accompany Orange for his entrance, but return to the back. Miro’s on commentary calling Trent his Young Boy. JR brings up Kip and Penelope’s upcoming marriage. After Orange wins the match, Miro sprints from the commentary table to punch out Orange. Best Friends show up immediately after and MKP run off.
0:26:53 Match Start | 39:50 Match End
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-47-20/2p8ft/ BV1jK4y1j79q
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NOV 24 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dark-results-dark-order-vs-janelakiss-vs-chaos-project-325946
Trent vs Michael Nakazawa Chuck and Orange are hanging around ringside. Not necessarily MKP-related, but Excalibur mentions their feud. The Wrestling Observer article says that Nakazawa sabotaged Trent during his match against Miro way back when, but I’m not sure where that’s specifically mentioned. It’s really just in service of facilitating this goofy comedy match.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf1mr41FoLQ&t=1123s
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NOV 25 2020
Miro & Kip’s game livestream is interrupted by OC. Its a trap by the Best Friends!
twitter.com/AEW/status/1331783338214961153
or:
1:11:03
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-48-20/2p8h6/
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DEC 1 2020
Best Friends have an AEW Dark match against Sean Maluta & Adam Priest. Unrelated to the feud, it seems? https://youtu.be/oLW9pywcIYI?t=2722
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DEC 2 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-winter-coming-live-results-moxley-vs-omega-326461
The show starts off with the Dynamite Diamond Battle Royale, and it has Orange Cassidy in it. It comes down to him, Wardlow, and MJF, and Orange eliminates Wardlow to end the match and qualify for the dynamite diamond ring match next week. Best Friends come out to pick him up congratulate him. Orange flops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. MKP come out to antagonize them and are held back by every referee.
13:45 Match End | 15:03 Postmatch End
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-49-20/2p8i3/ BV1KK41137KR
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DEC 9 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-live-results-sting-interview-omega-title-win-fallout-327116
The dynamite diamond ring match! Best Friends accompany Orange and hang around ringside along with a group of others to even out the odds as MJF has the entire Inner Circle backing him up. This is a pretty fun match. At the end, Miro comes out to knock Orange out while the ref is preoccupied by ringside chaos, and then MJF takes advantage of this to pin Orange for the win. Best Friends fight with Miro & Kip, but the refs get them away. Miro proceeds to kick the shit out of every security guard.
1:43:36 Orange’s entrance + match start | 1:57:35 Ringside Chaos + Miro Appears
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-50-20/2p8jf/ BV1QK41137mb
unrelated, but MJF has a short promo against Orange at 14:40
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DEC 15 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dark-results-best-friends-vs-chaos-project-shida-vs-king-327711
Best Friends vs Chaos Project fight on this episode of AEW DARK. Miro comes out at the end to yell at them, but the refs keep him away.
1:42:00 Match intro | 1:53:00 Miro Appears
https://youtu.be/7_xHd64xeeQ?t=6171
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DEC 16 2020
https://www.f4wonline.com/news/aew/results/aew-dynamite-live-results-omega-vs-janela-no-dq-match-327716
(trent had a fight against jericho earlier, and had a staredown with ortiz/santana…)
Best Friends do a promo– They’re unhappy about Miro sabotaging Orange Cassidy, and hear that Kip and Penelope’s wedding date is being announced next week, and warn that they’ll also be at that show.
1:41:20 Promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-51-20/2p8ka/ BV1bt4y1k7SC
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DEC 23 2020
Wedding date reveal segment. Best Friends’ intro starts, but its just a prank. They then show Trent being loaded into ambulance.
1:11:00-1:14:55
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-52-20/2p8l5/ BV115411H7PA
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JAN 06 2021
Chuck and Orange give an update on the status of Trent’s injury, Miro and the gang show up. Miro tells Chuck that he needs to stand up for himself instead of hiding behind his friends, or better yet be Miro’s friend and do all his chores. Chuck challenges Miro to a match next week, and Miro accepts with the stipulation that if Chuck loses he’ll have to be his young boy/rookie. Chuck agrees just to get this stupid beef over with faster.
0:24:27-0:26:18
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-01-21/2p8ne/ BV1c54y1s71A
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JAN 13 2021
chuck vs miro. we know who wins– obviously. how would there be a butler segment otherwise?
0:15:20 chuck entrance | 23:02 match ends
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-02-21/2p8oj/ BV1xh411y7XX
You can also just watch the last 3 mins of the match on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vRsizDs838
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JAN 21 2021
We get the Charles Taylor butler reveal during Leyla Hirsch vs Penelope Ford. Orange is in the crowd, rather unhappy. After the match, Miro commands Chuck to enter the the ring and bosses him around. He then forces Chuck to look at Orange in the crowd and say into the mic that Miro is his best friend now.
1:25:22 Penelope Ford Entrance | 1:34:55-1:37:33 Postmatch Promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-03-21/2p8pk/ BV14v4y1f7tr
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FEB 03 2021
Miro and Kip have a short backstage promo about being excited for the wedding. Chuck is standing next to them, miserable. Vickie Guerrero then fetches them for the big wedding.
Miro gets Chuck to bring the champagne, then drinks Chuck’s glass cuz he is working. Miro gets mad at the person sized present hanging round the ring. Chuck says its a wedding gift from him. Miro is on to him, and trashes the gift. Chuck cuffs Miro's leg while he isnt looking, then Chuck turns on them. Orange also appears :)
1:00:12 Wedding Stage Setup | 1:00:56 Backstage Promo + Wedding | 1:12:08 Wedding… Ruined | 1:16:23 (segment end)
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-05-21/2p8sj/ BV1vU4y1x7E8
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FEB 10 2021
Recap of last week’s events.
47:35-49:24 MKP's promo, then Orange and Chuck
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-06-21/2p8tp/ BV1ur4y1N7Fd
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FEB 17 2021
Orange Cassidy vs Luther on dynamite. Chuck and Serpentico are ringside. Neither Miro nor Kip Sabian make an appearance.
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FEB 24 2021
Tony Schiavone has an interview with MKP. They’re very very mad about the wedding. Miro wants to beat up Orange. He says he likes Chuck Taylor and wants him to come back and be a butler for him again. Someone gives tony a note. Its one of those little “will u wrestle us at revolution? y/n/maybe :)” asking-someone-out-in-highschool kind of notes. Miro gets mad and says its childish and that Orange Cassidy is such a bad influence on him. But if Chuck comes home he’ll teach him how to be a man. Miro then crumples up the note and eats it, and then spits it back out at Tony.
37:13-39:35 Promo Segment
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-08-21/2p8w5/ BV1cp4y1H7Qv (0:37:25 ?)
alternatively: https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1364752741889900545
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MAR 03 2021
Revolution 2021 Miro + Kip vs Chuck + Orange match announcement, plus a short backstage promo from Miro.
1:43:26 Miro Promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-09-21/2p8xm/ BV1MK4y1D737
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MAR 08 2021
The Match At Revolution. feat. a lightly bloodied chuck
1:21:54 Marvez backstage interview w/ Chuck and Orange (that leads into the rest of the match) | 1:33:26 Match End
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-revolution-2021/2p8rn/ BV1Pf4y1t7GL
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MAR 10 2021
Chuck and Orange requests a rematch. Arcade Anarchy!
31:30 Promo Start
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-10-21/2p8zg/ BV1rN411Q7c2
alternatively: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SGY6GgdLJU
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MAR 17 2021
Marvez interviews Miro about how Chuck and Orange challenged them to a rematch. Miro’s not interested, says he is over it. Kip interrupts and says he super isn’t over it, and is mad that Miro doesnt care and also hurt his wife! Kip accepts the rematch.
1:33:27-1:35:01 Backstage Promo
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-11-21/2p90p/ BV1Cf4y1s7uv
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MAR 24 2021
Video package about the upcoming Arcade Anarchy match: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwRMbFy4SU8
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MAR 29 2021
AEW DARK miro shows up at the end of orange/chuck’s match. :O https://youtu.be/d2hjXKRuHVY?t=94
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MAR 31 2021
The Arcade Anarchy match! By pinfall or submission only.
1:39:29 Match Intro / Miro + Kip Entrance | (commercial break) | 1:43:34 Orange + Chuck Entrance
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-13-21/2p93m/ BV1yf4y1x7Kq 1:26:40 (?)
supplemental material for the arcade match lol: https://twitter.com/callmekrisstat/status/1377705137792290821
ah damn wtf hold on the tweet’s deleted. here: https://web.archive.org/web/20210914041200/https://twitter.com/callmekrisstat/status/1377705137792290821
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what happens later?
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APR 07 2021
Best Friends interrupt Death Triangle's in-ring promo and start shit up with them (again):
15:18
https://www.trillertv.com/watch/aew-dynamite-episode-14-21/2p94w/ BV16K411w7Ug 0:16:00 (?)
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APR 14 2021
Kip Sabian is nowhere to be found, which Miro finds pretty annoying! He just wants to talk, cmon. Well, since he can’t find him, he’s moving on to challenging anyone in the company holding gold. https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1382498000484851713
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APR 21 2021
miro promo again: https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1385035045799448585
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APR 26 2021
Kris Statlander started feuding with Penelope Ford, too. Here’s a Road to Dynamite where Chuck, Trent, and Orange support Kris through a promo video package. It’s one of my favorites.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYScNUG1ego
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APR 28 2021
Kip goes to see whats up with Miro :) https://twitter.com/AEW/status/1387583461939101698
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Over the course of 2022 you’ll occasionally see a guy in the crowd with a cardboard box on his head. That’s Kip Sabian, out of kayfabe he was dealing with recovering from a shoulder injury? It lasted a while and when he recovered he came back as a my chemical romance lookin’ dude who may or may not have thought the cardboard box was controlling him? The gimmick didn’t get over so it got dropped pretty fast. He also had a short feud again against Orange Cassidy in 2023 when Orange had the All-Atlantic Championship– he got under Orange’s skin so bad! Anyway thats neither here nor there. Thanks for reading!
#aew#best friends#chuck taylor#miro#kip sabian#orange cassidy#i hope i never have to format a post like this ever again lmao wtf 😭 tumblr's rich text editor sux!!!!#this feud is also not that great really. it drags. but it has some moments and is responsible for my favorite aew best friends promo later#anyway at least i can put this out there now#its just stuff from tv or the official aew accounts-- if any of the wrestlers were tweeting extra stuff then i missed it.#a lot of that stuff wouldve been lost to time anyway#(i cant even fully blame notorious tweet deleter chuck taylor-- i found out a tweet i saved from kris statlander was deleted at some point)#postzon#feud timeline
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quick and loose (24 hours and counting) thing i tried to finish before move-in i'm calling it here i was defeated 😔 let's see if i can finish it before classes actually start (no) featurnig partial view of my krita setup (default) god be with ye all i need to be doing last minute packing in five-odd hours and then i will not sleep for four entire months god be with y'all
#ian beale#mira ramachandran#wip#art wip#look guys if i finish this it'll usurp what i think is the what a creep animation as my longest finished ian project#if things go to plan my other project will dwarf this#has already dwarfed it at least threefold i think#my courseload last semester was so light that i had like twenty hours free each week to do rb art#and do other responsibilities and have a social life i think i only turned down social activities once for it#i'm expecting to get obliterated this semester though so if i don't finish this#and i don't want to flunk out and i'm not wrong#and if i actually have self control#like 50/50 may not have art for a while. but maybe not look guys i'm so good at not getting sleep#man idk how to write dialogue is been a hot minute#will i delete this wip later maybe idk i'm frazzled and tired i really shouldn't be on this rn#anyways it was a great summer with all of you!!!!#had a great time pushing myself creatively and artistically#very inspired#thank you all
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*traps morpho under a cup and releases it outside*
toodles!
#asks#this one is stupid sorry but i didn't have any other responses??? seeya later buddy. don't do too many crimes#also please appreciate how hard i had to fight not to caption this one 'bye bye little butterfly'. a struggle.#this one might be a#delete later#we'll see
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Insane how many social cues humans have and you're supposed to know them all without being told
#and how they varies in different cultures#people and their funny complicated social structures are interesting to observe but not when you're in the situations#a group of people that fit together is a wonder to me because people are so so different#there are so many hidden rules they know but don't talk about and they just. know how the water flow and go along with it#and most of the time people seem to know how to do that so naturally#truly amazing when you think about it#meanwhile I think it's one of the most difficult thing to deal with#a single gesture or sentence could mean a lot of things and there are endless ways to response to it#I never meant to be offensive or unpleasant but then before I knew it I already did something wrong asfgjk#it's not their fault they misunderstood because I didn't get the hint. I just wish people tell me things directly sometimes#I study people like a bug but I'm also. a bug#delete later
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this may be silly but i really really miss the feeling of being able to draw whatever i wanted without any stress at all T^T i spend hours thinking about what i want to draw and then i get stressed because it shouldn't be my focus and then i end up doing neither what i should be doing (school, work, being a functional member of civilization) or want to be doing (hunched over my drawing tablet scribbling my faves) and it sucks so bad </3
#with each passing year and the more professional or academic responsibilities i gain the more i struggle </3#and its not like i can avoid it. avoiding these responsibilities would have real consequences and sometimes not even the fear of that is#enough to spur me to action T-T even though i have the foresight to realize i should get a headstart#i dont have any patience but also no sense of punctuality#which is why i rely on to do lists with every hr planned or else ill die fr#UGH ill prolly delete this later i randomly was overtaken by the overwhelming need to Rant.
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You bitch and moan all the time about being pro ship but you literally don’t even fucking commit to it in your writing, I was surprised how milquetoast all your shit is lol, you’re a fucking pussy who’s ‘scawed of mean antis 🥺’ get real
This is such a funny ask for so many reasons.
First of all, being proship doesn't mean you read or write dark media? Clearly you don't understand that. It's literally being anti harassment. That being said I enjoy consuming dark media rather then writing it, hence the saw post I made. And lastly uhhhh idk, ahhh! Scary anti! Insulting me!! What will I do!!!
Anyway good job being anon, you're very brave.
#i will now be turning of anon for the time being so i can block people like this lmao#also might delete thos post later cause i dont like negative shit on this blog lol#also when i say antis scare me its cause of the anxiety i get with responses liek this or the one in my saw post lol#anyway glad to know there are a few proshippers in the saw fandom lmao#proship#anti anti#proshippers please interact#anti harrassment
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to be honest, volunteering my preferred pronouns for the student roster/grading platform (it's attached to my name and face and supposedly all faculty look at it), having it nearly the size of my name on my required nametag, and at each new-group introduction (being brave when no one else volunteers their own) and still being misgendered multiple times a day every day at least 5 days a week, like it feels like I might as well just wear clown make-up at this point
#not to say being nonbinary or being misgendered makes me or anyone a clown but it makes me feel so foolish#like its hard enough to hear people being wrong but when to try and start the conversation and say hey here's a way to show basic respect#and then be ignored lol#its vulnerable and kinda difficult and tbh nerve-wracking in a room of literal strangers responsible for my success#also sorry for all the gender/pronoun rants as of late but it has officially caught up to me#and it is. week 13 of 52 :')#delete later#the speaking clown
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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Yo, so.. I don’t know what you are here for but I’m here to talk about theories, the story and everything else, even if we only have one episode yet. That’s why there’s this fandom. For talking about the game. For making theories. Crazy ones and logical ones. Everything.
Sorry.
#I swear I always try to shut my mouth about everything to make this here an amazing experience for everyone#And also because I feel responsible for my followers#it's not secret that I have a couple of followers and I try to always be as good as I can#as understanding as I can#as kind as I can#But slowly things are starting to really stress and bother me#just saying#This is a little vent yep#but after all this I just need to let those few words out#and I'm still trying to be calm#thanks for listening#hbj talks#might delete later#I'm just frustrated
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