#defintely not just paranoid

[theonlyonions-intheworld]

the stars aren’t watching me

the darkness is

the absolute nothing of space

the absence of all light

utter noir

is the pupil

it’s looking right at me

[olderthannetfic]

This whole f/f wank is so ridiculous. Every time it comes up I’m always left confused and wondering what’s the end goal of the discourse? Because it’s not women writing more f/f for sure. Policing and moralising about what other women like and do in their free time doesn’t seem like a decent strategy whatsoever. It’s not surprising that people don’t want to associate with these types of spaces. I'd defintely feel too paranoid and on edge to fit into all the moral demands.

I think the fact that there needs to be a justifiable reason for the lack of f/f outside of people’s personal preferences, the way people talk about m/m shippers as dirty fetishists, the women on booktok being called porn addicts for enjoying “spice” sometimes, the women that enjoy het ships that aren’t sunshine and rainbows only (e.g. reylo, zutara, darmione, sasusaku, etc.) being called abuse apologists, the way younger fans talk about older women participating in fandom (I could go on) kind of proves that fandom does hold some disdain for women and queer people. Which is very ironic. I guess my point is that this preexisting disdain and the perceived injustice about the supposed lack of f/f seems like a good moral justification to demand that other people make you things because you’re too lazy or not skilled enough to make them yourself. Women and queer people just happen to be an easy target for that.

It’s kind of like a new version of not like other girls where just being shitty to other women is not acceptable anymore so people look for moral justifications for it. Be it preferring m/m over f/f or f/m, enjoying the wrong smut, “supporting abuse”, etc.

English is not my first language so I hope this was understandable to read 😅

--

Well... some of it is just kvetching, and that never has an end goal other than venting one's feelings.

[minusgangtime]

(In case I'm gonna do a Sprunki blog one of these days- Let me just put this here lol

(It's very long so read if you can-

(TW: Mentions of death, gore, mutilation at the horror world part)

So I think this AU will be where the happy world and the horror world are seperate alternate universes- I'm still working on the AU's name :T

Oh, and btw, most of the things here are canon divergent, so I might not follow up with most of the lore ☝️

First of, we have the happy world-

Oren, Raddy and Pinki are in a poly relationship (Oren is dating both Raddy and Pinki- Raddy and Pinki aren't dating but are good friends)

Oren is the defintion of a cool cat (cool butterfly??) and love skateboards

Raddy (the red dinosaur(?)) likes sports and working out (and needs anger management ngl-)

Clukr (silver beetle) and Garnold (golden yellow fish) are inventors and work partners on building robots and machines (maybe they're not just "friends"? 👀)

Fun Bot and Mr. Fun Computer look up to Clukr and Garnold as their father figures since they've built them

Vineria (green snail) is a gardener and is into plants

Vineria wears a wig-

Gray and Wenda are opposites but are best friends (not related but they've known each other for a long time)

Gray (grey cat-like demon) is quiet and introverted while Wenda (white kitty) is chatty and extroverted

Brud (brown dog-like slime creature) isn't really the brightest Sprunki but he's a very silly and goofy guy :3

OWAKCX (lime hedgehog) (pronounced oh-wah-ka-ks") works as businessman

Most of the Sprunkis call OWAKCX "Lime" cuz it's easier (he doesn't mind tho)

OWAKCX has a crush on Vineria but is nervous to tell her in person

Sky (sky blue bear cub) is the youngest of the Sprunkis (he's 14 while everyone else are adults)

Sky likes collecting plushies- His favorites are teddy bears

Durple (purple dragon) is a collector and can play the trumpet- He also likes reading books

Mr. Sun is pretty much a talking sentient sun- That's it :P

Mr. Tree is a talking sentient tree who has a lot of wisdom- He's also lived around to be 50 years old

Simon (yellow alien) is described as "eater of foods" :P

Simon has golden retriever energy :>

Tunner (tan reptile bunny hybrid) is the sheriff of the Sprunkis and tries to protect them from danger

Pinki (pink bunny) is big sweetheart and cares a lot for her friends

Jevin (blue vampire bat) is a mysterious guy- But despite his ominous look, he's pretty chill and tries to join the other Sprunkis' activities

Jevin and Tunner are married ^^

Blackhat (unknown entity) is.. well.. pretty much a terrible person- He's in jail-

OWAKCX and Blackhat have some.. pretty bad history- It could explain why he's super anxious and paranoid

And now the horror world..

The horror world was like the happy world until Wenda found a black hat that she given by a mysterious black figure

Oren had the inside of his body cut open- He's also blind in both eyes

Raddy got hung by his neck and had half of his face and the lower part of his body ripped off

Clukr's cymbal crushed half of his head

Fun Bot and Mr. Fun Computer have no injuries but seem aware of what's going on (they've seen some things-)

Vineria got mutated by her wig where this version of hers turned out to be a fungus

Gray is uninjured and was able to escape, but he's very traumatized- He just wants his friend back <:(

Brud got half of his head bitten off by Simon (he doesn't feel any pain, which is why he's alive)

Garnold got the springlock treatment in his own robot suit

OWAKCX had the skin of his mouth and lower body ripped off like it was paper

Sky got himself impaled by four metal rods (jesus.. ._.)

Similar to Fun Bot and Mr. Fun Computer, Mr. Sun and Mr. Tree have no injuries but are very aware of what's going on

Durple got corrupted and became an abnormal entity- He also has a very stretchy mouth

Simon morphed himself to be more monstrous

Simon bit Brud out of hunger which he instantly regretted (Brud quickly forgave him cuz he doesn't even remember the incident lol)

Due to stress, Tunner shot himself in the head, thinking he wasn't able save all his fellow Sprunkis and he failed as a sheriff (thankfully he was found by Jevin)

Wenda is either possessed and/or manipulated by the black hat, which she ended up attempting to murder some of her friends

Pinki got her face ripped off by a wooden plank (HTF reference?)

Jevin also escaped uninjured, but is determined to put an end what is happening

Legends say that even Wenda is fighting off the black hat..

Thank you for coming to my lore dumping UvU)

[ikamigami]

I knew it! I knew that this is some sort of delusion if you believe yourself to be evil!

Now people can't tell me that I'm using the word delusional wrong because I knew it! I knew it that I was delusional!

Ofc I only know that now when I'm in better mental state that I was delusional lol it never crossed my mind that I was delusional when I was thinking that my existence is evil and that I only exist to make everyone's lives harder and that I'm ruining everything no matter what I do or say ^^

Same is that I only later realised that I was depressed (I often times didn't want to wake up another day, I was barely eating and have sleeping problems and I wasn't enjoying anything at times) and that I was dealing with intrusive thoughts or paranoid thoughts cause I was legit thinking that my intrusive thoughts are my true thoughts cause I'm evil and with paranoid thoughts.. they were just there lol.. xD

I only started to see that something is wrong with me in the sense that I need help when my delusional thinking and paranoid thoughts started to distort my view on my close ones.. I was legit scared when I started to switching from thinking that my close ones are hacking saints to thinking that they're hate me and they're disgusted by me as if they were two-faced.. this shit was scary af...

I feel more normal now knowing that I didn't made up that this certain delusion exists..

I know that I wasn't diagnosed but I truly believed that I'm evil.. so pls kindly stfu whenever you try to seem that you know everything only because you were diagnosed with something ^^

And to back up my statement I'm posting some defintions so people won't think that I'm just making all of this out of thin air:

You see that thing in the first screen shot! "Delusions centered around guilt/unworthiness are often accompanied by low self-esteem, depression and sometimes suicide" finally!

Like pls you think that only you can talk about suicide because you have x, y, z disorder or syndrome.. pls I was also doing risky things (I tried to go across fast-flowing river in my town that drowned many many people who tried to do the same) or often times felt tempted to jump off a bridge (those ones which go over the train rails) or to cut myself with a knife to end my life! But I gladly never do that but you can't tell me that I know nothing just because you were suicidal and you were diagnosed..

My experiences are real as much as yours!

And if I say that I see a character with whom I relate that they're suicidal you can't tell me to shut up about it when you're constantly talking about your blorbos being suicidal as well you ass!

And also just because you think that this character is doing better because they had it better than you then I'm sorry but that's a you problem! And believe me when I say it that when someone receive help and have a supportive family and seems to be doing better it doesn't made them immediately actually be in better mental state because I'm hacking proof to that!

My family was always supportive and was helping whenever I needed help.. the issue was that 1) I never told them that I believe that I'm evil because I was really ashamed of myself and I didn't even know how to say that and 2) even if they were helping me and saying really helpful things it didn't change the fact that I still believed that I'm evil!

I wish that people could sometimes just stop and think that their experiences are limited to them and not everyone is like them!

And also another thing when I say that a certain character is doing exactly the same things I'd do in their situation or they have very similar personality to mine I'm not projecting! You don't know a shit about me so kindly stfu ^^

I knew most of the things about that character even way before they were confirmed in the show because I know how that character thinks! And that's it!

Many people would 100% think that I was fine and I wasn't dealing with mental issues because my life was very normal and I was a normal kid and nothing too traumatising happened to me.. well with reflecting more on my past I am realising that some things could've been considered traumatising for a kid or a teen but uh well..

But I would never considered my life to be awful or tough or whatever! It just happened that I was delusional and that's it..

To end this post I'll say that I'm glad that I never harmed myself or try to kill myself because I'm still living and I'm so so happy about it! I actually never wanted to die I was just simply tired of constant battle inside my head, tired of hearing daily that I'm evil and awful and don't deserve anything and I should never be happy!

Another thing is that maybe we should stop saying that someone is projecting something on a fictional character.. cause anyone can see themselves in someone and they can talk about it all they want and have theories about it.. maybe we should just don't be so pissy about everything..

And I'm admitting that I'm guilty of being pissy about some stuff as well but I'm starting to realise that this is plain stupid!

Also pls stop policing what is canon and what is not when the media don't specify anything or are vague on details.. cause then you're simply ruining a joy of engaging in media to some folks..

Also if someone's takes are pissing you off so much just block that person I did that with many and it's beneficial for your own well-being and mental health ^^

[agonyaster]

Last Words of a Doomed Man

His day of reckoning is finally upon Simon. Unfortunately, he has a few visitors before the UR-1 incident can finally be laid to rest.

complicated sibling relationships my beloved… bad ending au’s for simon are such a silly thing to think about

prefer ao3? read here!

…

It’s probably a strange feeling to know the day you’re going to die. Simon isn’t too sure, he’s known for so long that he’s a bit desensitized. Now that the day of reckoning has finally come, he can’t say anything feels any different. His life has been largely the same for the past seven years; the only difference now is that he won’t be waking up tomorrow.

Though he must admit, spending his last few months on this earth prosecuting is a nice way to put an end to it all. He’s still not sure why exactly the chief prosecutor allowed him to in the first place.

Simon remembers when Edgeworth came to visit him. The man looked surprisingly at home in a prison, and didn't even bat an eye at Taka. Simply scratched under her chin and made a punchy comment about someone named Roland; the guard in the corner choking down a laugh at it.

There’s plenty of reasons the new chief prosecutor would reinstate him. An attempt to salvage the reputation of the office, maybe. Phoenix Wright’s name has been cleared, it only makes sense that more steps would be taken to try and end the Dark Age of the Law. Pity, maybe, but Edgeworth doesn’t seem the type to extend kindness to criminals.

The paranoid of him worries that the chief has it all figured out. Miles Edgeworth isn’t stupid by any defintion of the word: he could’ve reinstated Simon to keep an eye on him, because he knew that he wasn’t really a criminal. Not much is left to learn from the seven-year-old case file, but with two of the most important figures in the same place at the same time… 

Athena’s eighteen now, she’ll be tried as an adult even though UR-1 happened seven years ago. She likely would’ve been tried as an adult back then— it’s why he had to do what he did. 

The more rational part of his brain fights back. There’s something more personal at stake for Edgeworth, he’s sure of it. As a professional he’s hesitant to jump to conclusions, as an inmate he hungers for it. Every little thing; the way he speaks, the strange jacket framed on the wall of his office, the way he clutches at his elbow when deep in thought, the avoidance of elevators. It all speaks to something larger.

So maybe Edgeworth is onto him. Probably not. He hopes not. Because today is the deadline for any turnabouts in this case that really matter; anything after this Simon doesn’t really need to worry about. Still, he prays that this is all left alone after his death, he doesn’t need Athena getting punished for this after all he’s been through to keep her safe. 

Simon’s seen a lot of different inmates through the years. Some left because their sentences came to an end or were overturned, others because their execution dates caught up to them. Either way, he doesn’t think anyone’s ever been as calm as he has. 

“You’ve got a visitor,” a guard calls. Simon says nothing. “Come on, don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

He sighs, but stands and follows the guard anyway. It’s not a surprise to see Athena on the other side of the glass, but he debates turning around anyway— this is the last thing he wants to do right now.

“Don’t you dare leave.” Athena stares him down, her jaw tight. “You can’t run away from me anymore, Simon.”

She’s right, in a way. Stubbornness runs in her blood, he’s surprised that she didn’t come back into his life even earlier than she did. He sighs and takes a seat, suddenly struck with just how small she looks. Athena’s grown since she was eleven, but not much; even sitting down Simon towers over her. 

“Why are you here?” he asks, voice dull.

“You know why.” Athena’s eyes are filled with fiery determination. “You didn’t do it and this is your last chance to admit the truth.”

This again. Simon scoffs and rolls his eyes. “But I did. Shouldn’t you hate me? I killed your mother and ruined your life. You should be celebrating today.”

“Maybe I should hate you, but I don’t and there’s a reason for that. I’m sure of it.”

“It’s because you’re blinded by your delusions of grandeur. I’m not the same person I was seven years ago.” That much is true, at least. He hates lying to her.

“I’m not the same person either, now I can help you— really help you. Back then I knew you were innocent. I saw something, I know I did-”

He remembers a trembling Athena on the witness stand, shrinking under the gaze of everyone in the room. “We see how well that turned out.”

She lets out a groan of frustration, but stays seated. Simon wishes she would just leave already. “Goddammit Simon, do you want to die here?”

“It’s not like there’s much I can do about it anymore.”

“We can get it overturned-”

“In less than an hour? I doubt it.”

Athena swipes at her eyes, shoulders trembling with anger or sadness; he can’t quite tell which. He remembers when she was young, curled up into a ball with hands clamped over her ears to block out all the emotions. He used to comfort her, back then, when Metis wasn’t around. It’s okay though, she’s got Juniper and WAA, even Widget can help calm her down if she really needs it.

She doesn’t need him anymore, hasn’t needed him for a long time.

Before either of them can say anything, the door to the visitors room swings open and slams against the wall with a harsh sound that makes Athena wince, Widget going yellow on her neck. The guard already has a hand on his holster, but pauses when his radio crackles the information over. 

“Get out, Princess,” Aura snarls, glaring down at Athena. She looks like she’s come straight from her lab, hair matted and machine oil smeared on her cheek.

Athena bristles, rising up out of her chair. “You can’t tell me what to-”

“He was my brother before he was yours— get out before I do something I’ll regret.”

Hesitantly, Athena exits the room, casting one last worried glance over her shoulder before pulling the door shut behind her. Aura doesn’t bother to sit, simply crossing her arms and glaring at her brother through the glass.

“I’d say it's good to see you, but it’s really not,” he jabs.

“Fuck you, Simon.” She sounds tired. Angry too, but she’s angry more often than not nowadays. 

“Thanks.”

“No, really. Fuck you,” she spits, face twisting. “Fuck you and your stupid fucking savior complex-”

“It would be a martyr complex, actually.”

Aura groans, raking her hands through her hair in frustration. “This is exactly the shit I’m talking about— you’re too damn smart to be here.”

“Obviously not.”

“Don’t give me that. If, and I mean if you killed Metis, you would’ve gotten away with it. You’re not stupid enough to forget about the security cameras.”

She’s right, of course she is. Laughing at criminals for forgetting about cameras was one of his favorite things to do as a kid, curled up on the couch with Aura as the culprits quaked onscreen. 

“Most murders are those of passion.” It’s a weak defense, but it’s not like that’s his job.

“We both know that you cared about Metis too much to kill her.”

It’s an argument they’ve had dozens of times before. Simon’s a little glad this’ll be the last time; he’s put his sister through enough. She deserves to move on from this, UR-1 took so much from everyone at the station, but her especially. Maybe he can convince her to move to the east coast, as his last request. He doubts it.

“I’m not the person you thought I was.”

“I fucking raised you, Simon. I know exactly who you are.” 

He refuses to look her in the eye. Aura’s too damn smart for this, she’ll get him caught if he’s not careful and it’s been too long to let that happen. “So? I’ve changed.”

“You could never change that much; it’s why you treated that Woods girl the way you did. Barely even talked to her back then and you’re looking after her just like you are the brat.”

“I was doing my job.”

“Yeah. Sure.” Aura rolls her eyes. “God, I wish I could hate you.”

“Thanks.”

“No, really. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier.”

“After today, you won’t have to worry anymore.”

Aura lets out a choked sound at that, somewhere between a laugh and a scream. “Goddamnit. Why do I have to lose you again? I- you- it just isn’t fair. It isn’t right.”

He wants to smirk and laugh at her for getting so sentimental after so many years of anger, but he can’t bring himself to. Some part of him aches to see his big sister like this; she was always so strong. The only time he can remember her crying like this was when he was little. Their father did… something. He was too young to know what and Aura never told him.

“I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“I know.” She exhales, long and low and heavy. “I know Simon, I know.”

[ouruglyduckling-blog]

Also went to Seattle recently. I guess some people call it the Emerald City too. It's a weird place. Lots of headquarters and tech companies, but very little substance overall. Most of the buildings were massive but looked almost entirely empty. There aren't really any homeless downtown anymore, in fact, there wasn't really anybody downtown at all. It's like all the people just dissapeared. Defintely tourist around on the docks though. The UW Cherry Blossum Festival was about to start too. The entire quad (a rectangle park on the UW campus full of cherry blossums) had a couple hundred people walking around and taking photos. Lots of different languages spoken about. On my way to UW I drove through the Capitol Hill neighborhood. It's definitely more populated, but still feels hollow. However, I could've just been paranoid by that point. It was a sort of eventful trip overall. Strangely there was a lot of sun out that day, which funnily enough didn't fit Seattle. Maybe it's just me, but the sun just took away all the mystery and showed all the cracks and imperfections more clearily.

[theradioghost]

hey, can i pester you for some podcast recs? something with a good dose of humour and not too many episodes to catch up on. a sprinkle of queer romance would be a nice bonus. my fave so far is tsco starship iris, and i also loved greater boston, wooden overcoats, the bright sessions and caravan. and thanks always for all your great recs! you’ve brought many hours of joy into my life :)

We Fix Space Junk -- Two intergalactic repairpeople -- a knowledgeable cyborg veteran and a former socialite on the run -- travel the universe meeting people and fixing things at the behest of the terrifying intergalactic corporation they’re trying to work off their debts to. Hilarious British sci-fi sitcom featuring Evil Space Capitalism, many many wonderful AI characters, and an absolutely delightful teenage space wasp-human-cow hybrid princess who is probably off accomplishing her grandiose special destiny somewhere offscreen while the main characters deal with things like their bosses possibly trying to kill them (again).

Death by Dying -- People have a tendency to die in odd ways in the small town of Crestfall, Idaho. Luckily the town also has an Obituary Writer, an eccentric and nameless but impeccably stylish fellow whose closest friend is the Angel of Death, and who has a knack for solving murders even though that’s definitely not his job description. Throw in walrus haikus, extremely rude ravens, Something Mysterious And Malevolent Lurking In The Dark Woods Outside Of Town, disappearing childhood homes, silent nuns, ghost bicycles, and three man-eating cats, and you get something like a delightful cross between Wooden Overcoats and Lemony Snicket. (Also, OW is peak Canonically Bisexual Dumbass.)

Less is Morgue -- Riley is a paranoid, reclusive teenager with a fondness for conspiracy theories who lives in their parents’ basement. They’re also a predatory ghoul who feeds on human flesh. Evelyn is a cheerful, outgoing young woman with questionable tastes in media. She’s also a ghost, ever since she was killed by a falling stage light at a Nickelback concert 16 years ago. And since Riley dug up and ate Evelyn’s corpse, they’re roommates! Will they ever manage to record a coherent episode of their podcast without something going ridiculously wrong and/or Riley eating one of the guests? Probably not!

Victoriocity -- The steampunk buddy-cop comedy-mystery thriller you never knew you needed but definitely do! Featuring Inspector Fleet, a grouchy, extremely driven policeman looking for the murderer of the Empire’s greatest inventor, and Clara Entwhistle, an even more driven and unfailingly upbeat rookie journalist who has just arrived in the island-spanning, bizarre cityscape of alt-history Even Greater London. Come for some of my favorite sarcastic British narration since Adams and Pratchett, stay for characters-are-begrudgingly-forced-to-work-together-until-they-come-to-genuinely-and-deeply-care-about-one-another-as-friends trope. (Also for Tom “Eric Chapman” Crowley as the aforementioned grumpy detective.)

Quid Pro Euro -- From one of the other leads of Wooden Overcoats, this doesn’t have a typical plot as such but has made me laugh so hard I pulled a muscle despite the fact that I know nothing about the EU. Which is what this near-surreal, Look Around You-style comedy is about: Felix Trench’s vision of a simultaneously hilarious and terrifying alternate European Union, seen from the perspective of a serious of educational tapes from the ‘90s predicting what the EU would look like in the 21st century. It’s hard to describe this show in any way that does it justice, but it’s incredibly funny.

Time:Bombs -- A miniseries by the exalted creators of Wolf 359, which (because they are madmen) was written, recorded, and produced in the space of one week. Also, a comedy about an NYC bomb retrieval squad on New Year’s Eve, most of whom are just trying to get through the night while their leader attempts to break a record for most bombs cleared before the calendar ticks over. Chaos and hilarity ensure.

Superstition -- Wisecracking, bi, Jewish, definitely-a-private-eye-just-don’t-check-her-qualifications Jacqueline St. James receives a message from her father, which is weird, because her parents disappeared years ago. Following the trail leads Jack to Superstition, Arizona, a town in the middle of the desert where everyone’s got secrets, assorted ghosts/monsters/cryptids harrass the locals, and the missing persons rate is the highest in the nation. As a protagonist Jack is Looking For Trouble And If She Cannot Find It She Will Create It, so while Superstition isn’t a comedy per se, it’s got a fair share of laughs and is also just so, so excellent in general.

Standard Docking Procedure -- A self-declared hopepunk scifi workplace comedy about the somewhat dysfunctional staff of Pseudopolis Station, effectively a high-tech interstellar truck stop. It’s funny and heartwarming, nothing truly bad happens, and Julia Schifini is there.

Solutions to Problems -- A morally-questionable human named Janet who has defintely never done any illegal time travel and an easygoing, physically indescribably alien who likes to go by Loaf host an intergalactic advice podcast. Are you tired of your species’ insistence on solving everything via ritual combat? Not sure how to talk to your partner about whether body-swapping has a place in your sex life? Dealing with being a superpowered teenager summoned into being by the collective will of an apocalyptic groupthink cult? Janet and Loaf have you covered! Provided that Janet’s on-and-off girlfriend, the AI who supplies the air they breathe, doesn’t kill them all first. Oddly heartfelt comedy in the form of a relationship advice radio show from the Space Future.

Middle:Below -- This show’s tagline is “Remember: bad things WILL happen,” and that is basically a lie. This is actually a short, incredibly heartwarming and frequently funny show about Taylor Quinn, the only human with the ability to pass between the land of the living (aka the Middle) and the land of ghosts (the Below). Meaning, of course, that the dead call on him to fix all their problems, with the help of a girl named Heather, a ghost named Gil, and a cat named Sans. (Also, some of the most comparatively wild live shows I’ve ever heard.)

Inn Between -- Ever wonder what fantasy characters get up to between adventures, during all that time they seem to spend at inns? This show skips all the adventuring, question, and action, instead focusing on the quiet moments between where what is Definitely Not A D&D Party meet and progress from bickering strangers brought together by circumstance to close-knit found family -- all at the inn, of course. (Lots of queer folks in here also, although there’s no romance at least in the first  couple seasons.)

The Godshead Incidental -- A relatively new but very exciting and so far really enjoyable show!! Following a young woman who writes an advice column through her life in a familiar, and yet strange city where anyone might be a minor god -- your editor, your landlord, that weird guy on the street who was shouting about how he’s the God of Memory and you got into a fight with him and now you keep forgetting everything? Also, your apartment is full of pigeons now because you found out the aforementioned landlord is secretly the god of doorknobs and he’s panicking. Good luck! (Starring Ishani Kanetkar, aka Arkady from Starship Iris!)

Gal Pals Present: Overkill -- Madison, a middle schooler at a Girl Scout camp, agrees to play a game with a somewhat tastelessly bright-pink Ouija board. However, Madison doesn’t know that she’s a natural medium, and now sarcastic mid-2000s 19-year-old Aya Velasquez has joined the many ghosts who are for some reason haunting scenic Harding Park. Aya, however, will not rest until she can solve her own murder (and possibly get to know that other ghost girl a bit better, who says romance has to stop when you’re dead?). Absolutely hilarious writing of a narrator who is almost definitely wearing spectral Uggs during the entire show.

Dark Ages -- The Rivercliffe Museum of Mostly Natural History is one of the finest museums anywhere! Or it would be, if anyone ever actually visited it. Or maybe if the staff weren’t a disastrous and dysfunctional collection of criminals, weirdos, wannabe immortals, idiot bisexuals who can’t just admit they like each other, and one extremely uptight elf with no people skills. Also, it would probably help if the legendary and fearsome Dark Lord, finally returned from his millennia of dormancy to complete his prophesied conquest of the world, wasn’t hanging around watching the chaos unfold because they’ve got his crown on display. (Fantasy workplace comedy with a theme song that did not need to go that hard?)

Brimstone Valley Mall -- It’s mid-December 1999, and at one mall in South Central Pennsylvania, a group of demons are going about their evil work -- namely, working at various dinky kiosks and restaurants, hoping of achieving every demon’s dream of getting to work at Hot Topic, trying not to do too much evil because Earth is way more fun than Hell and no one wants to get promoted back home, and preparing for their band's triumphant opening performance at the upcoming Y2K party. Just one problem: their lead singer is missing. Another absolute masterwork from The Whisperforge.

Arden -- 10 years ago, Hollywood starlet Julie Capsom vanished into the woods of northern California, leaving behind a car containing a human torso that may or may not have belonged to one Ralph Montgomery. Now, private eye Brenda Bentley and reporter Bea Casely, both of whom were among the first at the scene and both of whom have their own very strong opinions on the case, are setting out to solve the mystery on their true crime podcast, Arden. Providing, of course, they can stop arguing with each other long enough to solve it. (Or, a not-really-parody-but-definitely-comedy “true crime” podcast where the crime is a retelling of Romeo and Juliet -- and even knowing that, it’s still a genuine mystery with twists and a surprise ending! -- and the hosts are wlw Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing. In other words, it’s perfect. Season 2 is upcoming soon and is adapting Hamlet!!)

Alba Salix/The Axe and Crown -- Another high fantasy workplace sitcom, this one a medical comedy about the titular not-very-personable witch who runs the kingdom’s House of Healing and the various shenanigans she gets into, between her somewhat scatterbrained sister and brother-in-law the king and queen and her assistants, an overly-whimsical fairy and a wannabe monk forced to do community service. The same feed contains The Axe and Crown, a spinoff set in the same world that manages to simultaneously be a sitcom about the staff of a local pub trying to stave off foreclosure and come up with schemes to beat their business rivals, and a heartfelt story about gentrification and recovery starring a gay veteran with PTSD? Which is possibly one of my favorite podcasts? (Also contains one of the most unbelievable crossover cameos possible: Leon Stamatis.)

The Adventures of Sir Rodney the Root -- Also a high fantasy comedy! When a witch transforms heroic Sir Rodney into a small piece of wood, his closest companion Sir Gilbert must set out to cure him by collecting several highly powerful and dangerous relics, accompanied by a snarky dwarfen thief, an imperious princess, a slightly creepy human child raised by fairies, a picky elf sorcerer, a dead unicorn possessed by the ghost of a stoner, and a bard who breaks the fourth wall too much for his own good. So far as I can tell, nobody is straight.

The Amelia Project -- A dark comedy about a secret organization that helps people fake their deaths. Which is honestly a pretty full summary, barring the two important points that 1. this show contains possibly the most continuity-warping crossover event of all time (it’s the center point of this absolutely chaotic diagram), and 2. in one episode Felix Trench plays a character named Bartholomew Fuckface Chucklepants Knucklecracker.

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Datemate: If. If I arm wrestle you all and win. Will you stop threatening me for FIVE MINUTES and Coomer is like "me first, my good bitch!" And just instantly snaps his arm and Joshua is like "what the fuck is going on here?" Do you think Joshua has to have a Talk with the sirens about threatening and maybe bodily injuring his partners like yo not cool man

Oh he’d defintely sit everyone down and have a talk with all of them but that wouldn’t stop Gordon’s paranoid ass

[chinarsi]

( DACRE MONTGOMERY + HE/HIM ) —  Hey, were you just talking to ANTONELLO LUCCHESE ? The THIRTY year old is a STRIP CLUB OWNER/UNDERBOSS who resides in MANHATTAN. HE has been living in NYC for TWENTY-SIX YEARS, and is known to be EFFICIENT and AFFECTIONATE, but can also be IMPULSIVE and PERVERTED. Word on the street is they’ve got some heavy ties with THE GUERRAS so I’d steer clear if you know what’s good for you.

**TW: **implied attempted murder, child abuse, abandonment; mental illness mention

First name: Antonello

Middle name(s): Giuseppe / “Pinky”

Surname: Lucchese

Age: 30

Date of birth: November 19, 1990

Religious values: Raised Roman Catholic but considers himself agnostic and a vitalist

Location: Spanish Harlem, Manhattan, New York

Occupation and length of time: Underboss/Strip club owner, 15 years

Affiliation: Guerra

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Relationship status: Divorced

Nationality: Considers himself Italian American ( fathers’ side is from Palermo, Sicily, mothers’ side is from Eastern Germany )

Languages known: English, Italian, German, Russian

Style of speaking: Politically incorrect

Birth Country: United States

Hometown: Crown Heights, Brooklyn

Parents: Bill and Teresa Lucchese

Siblings: Amy Lucchese

Pets: Amethystine python, Jinn, and an albino boa constrictor, Rasputin

Height: 5'11

Weight: 183 lbs

Eye color: Light blue

Hair color: Dark brown

Build of body: Stocky, muscular, aka a brickshit house

Tattoos: None

Piercings: Earlobe

Typical clothing: Business casual to very casual, button-downs/linen pants and vintage suits (*Three Looks by Jenna Marbles plays quietly in the background*)

Personality: “ Did you guys come by ? “ ( Ends at 8:32 ; it’s worth the watch, I swear lmao )

“ Como se dice ? How you say what happing ? whA HAPPING HEA. ” ( Starts at 2:52, ends at 11:36 )

Likes: Winning, music, Friedrich Nietzsche, indulgence, working out, and reading

Dislikes: Birds, uncertainty, technology, anything grape flavored, waiting, swimming in open water/the ocean, drama, younger generations

Pet peeves: Being ignored or interrupted, knuckle cracking, people eating with their mouths open

Hobbies/past times: Running, swimming, cooking, fencing, journaling, marksmanship, knife throwing, reading, avid glass collector and tobacco aficionado

Guilty pleasures: An old soul; loves red wine, Telenovelas, listening to either Nina Simone or Amy Winehouse, and pain

Talents: Can play piano, coronet, drums, braid hair and relocate an entire family in less than 48 hours

Education: Highschool dropout

Fears: Heights, dying alone, being asked to go to Italy

Goals: Settle the family dispute and to keep his ex-wife in the dark about what he does

General attitude: Quiet, reserved, snarky

General intelligence: Somewhat above average

General sociability: Average to below average

Illnesses (if any): Traumatized, most likely very depressed, bat shit crazy and probably a bit of a sociopath, but views seeing a Dr./Therapist is just as dangerous as becoming an informant.

Allergies (if any): Cats, amoxicillin/penicillin

Sleeping habits: Sleeps 3-4 hours normally, gets up early and stays up late, is sometimes up for days

Energy level: Depends on the day, could be moderate, low and very rarely high

Eating habits: Eats more than three times a day, mostly pasta, meat, bread, and sweets

Memory: Fair and remembers faces well but tends to repress quite a bit from his life/childhood, under certain circumstances it is poor

Any unhealthy habits: Overspending, binge eating, smoking, not getting enough rest, binge drinking, uses recreational drugs daily

Peaceful or violent: Unpredictable

Weapon (if applicable): Gun, golf club, curling iron, hands

Favorite types of food: Anything you put in front of him

Favorite types of drink: Water, wine and Ski soda

Favorite colors: Black, earth and neutral tones

Favorite types of music: 1. 2. 3.

Hobbies/past times: Running, swimming, cooking, fencing, journaling, marksmanship, knife throwing, reading, avid glass collector and tobacco aficionado

Guilty pleasures: An old soul; loves red wine, Telenovelas, listening to either Nina Simone or Amy Winehouse, and pain

Strengths: Efficient, passionate, observant, protective, loyal, brave, affectionate, poised, fair, chivalrous, playful, honest, romantic

Weaknesses: Intolerant, childish, negative, stubborn, short-tempered, impatient, perverted, aggressive, blunt, reclusive, paranoid, impulsive, secretive

Wcs: His ex wife, house mom/house dad/business partner, fwb, old friends, regular/associate turned bff, rival that manages to win & screw him over, fwbs that get involved/find out about his double life and are put in danger

Quirks/facts: 

* Nicknamed “pinky” by a small group of friends when his now ex-wife found out he spent his life savings on a strip club and attempted to sever his pinky finger with a pair of thinning shears, also due to the simple fact, he never leaves the house without his grandfather’s gold teamster pinky ring placed on that exact finger

* In most situations he’s the extremely respectful, strong and silent type

* Extremely quick to anger, doesn’t take much to aggravate and provoke him, but he can also be an unpredictably warm, affectionate, goofy individual

* Agnostic and believes you should indulge in all of your desires but always in gentle moderation

* Has a machivelian yet moral mindset

* His respect for women knows no bounds

* Has a really loud sneeze and goes into sneeze fits

* Brutally honest

* Likes to go on late night/early morning shopping trips

* Gets too emotionally attached to people that shouldn’t matter

* Always carries a tiny notebook with him

* No shame in his game but cautious, composed, and always aware of his surroundings

* Has to move things around in a certain pattern before going to sleep

* Experienced alot but tends to keep to himself, there’s very few people that actually know him

* Bruises super easily

* Writes and eats with his left hand but is right hand dominant

* Likes to memorize numbers instead of saving contacts in his phone

* Gets homesick very easily

* Brushes his teeth up to five times a day

* Generous with his money, purely for selfish and superstitious reasons, but only for close friends and associates

* Likes to stay off social media

* Gets his heart broken too often

* Holds grudges like no other

* Will be loyal to the mob until he takes his last breath and would rather die than be forced to send anyone to prison

* Firmly believes in the healing power of sit-downs

* Would never take advantage of a drunk woman, but defintely would get drunk just to get taken advantage of

* Don’t fuck around though, has high libido and occasionally low stamina; a wrong look alone could get you pregnant

* Sanctioned hits directly from the boss have always made him uncomfortable and nervous, no matter who he’s working under

* Takes murder very seriously

Bio: Antonello Guiseppe Lucchese was born three months prematurely to Bill and Teressa on a chilly November night in Brooklyn, New York.

He doesn’t remember much from his childhood other than he never really had a mother and father, but figures he might have gotten luckier not having them around. Apparently, his mother worked numerous jobs to keep a roof over their heads for years, until dealing with the constant absence of his father became too much to bear. Then, at just the fragile age of three and four years old, both Amy and Antonello Lucchese were carted off to Crown Heights, New York to permanently stay with a mixed family of uncles, cousins, and loving grandparents, almost all the surviving members of the Lucchese crime family in a small three-bedroom apartment.

Most of their wives had passed away or left them by the time they’d arrived, so it was a lot like growing up in a dingy old bar but, both children grew up and learned quickly from their mistakes. Learned to use them to their advantage, but every once in a while there would be unnecessary punishments, overdramatic arguments, dinners missed and uneasy, awkward mornings, but. It was more than what anyone else could have given them, so they were grateful nonetheless.

Everything changed drastically for Antonello when he entered the fifth grade. Things became easier to deal with at home, but not exactly in the way anyone had expected. Especially not his grandmother. He’d always clung to her for guidance, support, and love but the moment the family exposed the young heart to their lifestyle, he broke away and heedlessly dove in.

No one had forced him into anything, but as the years passed, most relatives and himself included were absolutely convinced that he was made for it, and it was made for him. Although it was in his blood, after all, a large number of them also knew it marked the end of his innocence, and the beginning of ruthless trek towards a twisted, egotistical version of manhood and success.

In the span of six years, he’d become the youngest in the family to rise through the ranks in a proud, composed fashion and landed a spot right beneath his grandfather. He was creative, intelligent and respectful in a way that the elders of the Italian mob began to appreciate more than the efforts of his own immediate family, so soon after Antonello realized the long list of dead or incarcerated relatives were mostly rats, scumbags, and hypocrites, coincidentally, he was asked to leave.

Then while out at the local bowling alley, his cousins spotted one of his better friends groping his girlfriend. He didn’t even make it twenty-four hours after his grandmother had broken the news of the heartless eviction, and the younger boy spent almost two weeks in the hospital. Luckily, her grandson wasn’t around long enough to suffer any harsh consequences, or god forbid a life sentence but, one punishment that should have been totally unrelated, would slowly begin to ruin his life.

Out of pure fear of her older brother and grandparents, Amy Lucchese decided to finish her high school career at home and cut all ties with him. Shortly after the devastating blow, a family friend was contacted and made arrangments for him to stay in East Harlem. 

Present: Has resided in East Harlem for the past fifteen years, staying moderately silent and unlocatable until being promoted to underboss. Currently works for the Guerra family, laundering money and holding meetings through his own business until the doors open every evening. He is recently divorced, lives alone above an old pizza joint and prefers a conventional lifestyle even though he loves what he does.

Although Show N' Tail opened in 2017, the wide variety of male and female dancers, elaborate drag shows, light shows, warm and cozy atmosphere, has made it one of the most decadent and revered clubs in the area.

[shikuchi-blog1]

TALK ABOUT UR WISHLIST FOR PHASE 3 THREADS PLS AND THANK

does  this  count  as  this  meme    /    @twodented    /    accepting  .

I ACTUALLY DONT RLY THINK TOO MUCH OF ACTUAL PLOT IDEAS FOR HER BC IM AN UNORIGINAL FUCK BUT !!! THIS IS WHAT I CAN COME UP WITH ON THE SPOT :^)

honestly maybe some stuff in the beginning when she's just kinda hiding around and trying to get back in contact with mur.doc & the others. she'd be a lot more paranoid and panicky and just Desperate to get back to the others because this is kinda the second time she's gotten seperated from them & the third time overall she's gotten seperated from those she considers her family.

some stuff that might be fun to fit in is when she's in japan & she's got her mask !! she must seem like some kinda fuckin cryptid in alleyways n shit considering how skinny and messy she looks a lot of the time. theres just this fucking tiny girl with a mask on and she keeps looking around ?????

branching off of that, i think that she defintely got in trouble with the law because of mix-ups with the boogieman's henchmen and because she was using her real name as a way to keep her anonimity there was probably news articles & stuff you could find about a girl in a cat mask named hanako kyuzo. ppl recognizing her off of that ?? or really just finding those articles past phase 3 IDK ITS A CONCEPT I LIKE BUT ITS VAGUE SO

OK SO U KNO THOSE DRAWINGS OF NOODLE W/ THAT SWIMSUIT THING & THERE WAS ONE WITH HER & 2D ON THE BEACH...........................  plastic beach stuff like that bc its such a vauge phase we dont know if she actually got to stay on the island for a while before getting separated or if she actually did get to be there so there could be some stuff about that maybe !!

branching off of that is some au stuff !! and i dont mean stuff like noodle's stuck on the island instead, but more like things that could have happened. 2d comes with noodle & russel after rhinestone eyes or maybe noodle gets stuck with them on the beach or smth ???? lil stuff like that !!

phase 3 stuff with russel & noodle !!! them traveling together and talking about whats been happening, what they've missed w/ each other's lives so far. stuff lik that

and then post phase 3 stuff is probably easiest. this is where she's bottled most of this up and tries to be the mediator for everything. while its because she genuinely wants to help everybody, she also really does not want the band to break apart again. its a big fear of hers despite being able to legally take care of herself at this point. she does a lot of stuff on the side thats really questionable as to whether or not she's really okay as she tries to tell everybody (WHCIH SOUNDS CHEESY AHIWUAKSD RIP) e.g. the hc i wrote on her isolating herself in her room for hours to days at a time depending on the situation. stuff like that oculd be worked into a plot !

[my-placeinthe-stars]

Lately

Happy Chinese New Year! I haven’t really wrote anything on here in a while. 

I’m not even sure where to start exactly.

I’ve been officially single for...three weeks now? I finally decided to end things with Eric. It’s funny even seeing that typed out- when you first meet someone and you’re madly in love you think to yourself, wow this person is amazing, I’d do anything to be with them, I couldn’t imagine being the one to end things with them- and well, here I am. I guess it’s part my naiveté, part just relationships in general.  When you date someone for a while, you see more and more how the sausage gets made. And it either reassures your feelings of affection for them or it begins to chip away at the pedestal you put them on.

My experience undoubtedly was the later. When I met him, I was completely swept away by him. He was fun to talk to, he was sweet and cute, we had a lot of common interests. But after those “butterfly stages”, I would notice things that made me feel like “wait, wait?”. And to that you’re probably saying...red flags? Get the fuck out of there then!! I know it sounds simple, and hell it is simple. But everything feels different when you’re into someone, and I know that isn’t an excuse, and hell I feel stupid admitting it but I just wanted to get my thoughts out about it and be done with it.

So more and more time passed and there was always one reoccurring issue in our relationship his trust, and him not knowing what he wants. So basically two very key elements of any relationship were not in a good place. He let his own insecurities worry him so much I became anxious and paranoid, I know that isn’t fun to be around at all. And mostly, I just never felt wanted. I never felt like I could just take a deep breath and be like, ah okay, everything feels good. I feel secure. I just didn’t.

I knew my friends and family could see the stress wearing on me. And probably could tell that I wasn’t as happy as I could be. And they don’t even know the half of it. The more I see and feel how happy I am being alone the more I realize that I wasn’t in a good relationship. And that’s not to put all the blame on him, while I never did anything idk fucked up, there were definitely things I could have done very differently. Or times when I chose to stay when I should have walked away.

He called me the other day upset, saying, “Why do I always do this? Why do I always have a great girl in my life and then I push her away?” I didn’t really know what to say. Sometimes people are never happy with what they have. but I think more in his case he just needs to be single. He’s used to being with someone that takes good care of him. I hope he goes out and learns more about himself because I’m just not interested anymore.

I put a lot into a person that I’d cross an ocean for and he would step over a puddle. I’m just not interested in having that kind of relationship anymore.

I started a detox 2 weeks ago and I have lost 10 lbs so far. I’m getting healthier and losing weight and I feel better than ever. I talk to my anime trash friends all the time and I’m just doing whatever I want. I’ve been in full force fujoshi mode lately and omg god reading yaoi is better than a relationship sometimes (i.e. I’ve gone full otaku).

One of the manhwa’s I’m reading, Killing Stalking, (Sangwoo ugh such a daddy ;_;) besides me just being a total fan girl over it, it is defintely an interesting experience reading. Because you can read it from so many perspectives. When I read it, 99% it’s in total fangirl/fantasy mode. So it’s pure fantasy, it’s exciting, it’s whatever and the other 1% I think about it and damn, I wonder how anyone that’s ever been in an abusive/bad relationship has felt. Not that I’ve been in a relationship like Sangwoo-Yoobum’s at ALL but when you look at it through the lens of those who have suffered at the hands of the one they blindly care about. Damn it takes it to a crazy level. It makes me feel even worse for Yoobum and hate Sangwoo even more because you’ve been there one way or another.

Now take a 180, the other manhwa I’m reading, Blood Bank, could not be more fucking opposite. Talk about two people madly in love with each other that do so much for each other. Fantasy, neh? :’) God damn I want a love like theirs.

Anyways, I don’t have much else to say other than, my sister and I have labeled this year as ‘the year of personal enrichment” and by god as corny as that is I’m sticking to it. There is nothing like doing what is best for YOU.

And on that note, I am going to the gym for some cardio. And probably will watch Yuri on Ice shamelessly. I mean, that’s okay right? LOL

[ld-fc]

even tho i was tired asf(as if thats anythin new) today, i had a really good day. while i was at five points waitin on the train, a really sweet black gurl came runnin to me and asked if she could c my big ass art pad and she gave me her sketchbook and we looked at eachothers artwork before we started talkin. and she was just really nice and cute and adorable, gushin over my art and wat we both wanted to do with our careers and stuff. maybe if fate has it, ill c her at the station again. then this afternoon, i needed to get a lyft home, and my lyft driver was this bomb ass black lady from baltimore(her accent was so cute) and we just had a nice convo about everythin. she recommended me this ice cream roll place (which i most defintely will b tryin), and talked about how she homeschools her kids because she feels that schools teach unnesscessary things that we dont need to learn. she’s also an entreperneur and tryin to get her baking business started. she was really smart and lively and just a really good person to converse with. she really eased my nerves because i was second guessin myself and bein paranoid because u hear so many horror stories with ubers and lyfts, and i usually dont take them that often. i gave her five stars, left a nice comment and a tip :)

i just really enjoy gettin and havin good energy with people, its the little things that really make my day. i hope those two have many wonderful days to come😌