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dragonsareourfuture · 4 years ago

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Death Note as Stand-Up Comedians

Mello

- he’s allowed to complain about Near in front of an auditorium full of people as long as it’s in the form of a joke — of course he loves it.

- He has a lot of passion up on stage. The audience loves it because it makes them feel really immersed into the show.

- Mello has a tendency to get really loud when he gets really into a joke or bit, so the tech crew has gotten used to lowering the volume on his mic as the show progresses and he gets louder and louder.

- Mello has a harsh sense of humor, often using exaggerations and sarcasm to accentuate a point.

- He would tell stories from his time at Wammy’s house, mainly the chaos moments with Matt because the rest is pretty traumatizing for him.

- It’s his style that draws people in and his sense of humor that keeps them there. He has a very unique clothing style and, even when his managers suggested he dress down for the show as to not scare people away, he refused. He said that he would rather show who he is upfront and let the public decide whether or not to invest time in him than fake his personality for people he doesn’t know or give a shit about. They got the hint pretty quickly after that.

- He would sometimes do joined shows with Matt, which is quite interesting. Their dynamic works perfectly on stage and they even weave jokes that weren’t scripted into the show to keep each other on their toes.

Matt

- He’s a pretty chill guy, so I picture his sense of humor as pretty dry. Not in a bad way, of course. For instance, he tends to say the most hilarious things with a straight face and flat tone, which somehow makes the joke even funnier.

- He likes to involve the audience a lot, so gags where he (with permission) takes an audience member’s phone and reads their texts aloud are common. Somehow he can make jokes about the most mundane of text conversations and have the audience howling.

- Like I mentioned earlier, he and Mello’s contrasting senses of humor work for a perfect dynamic when performing, so shows where they’re together are the audience’s favorite. But even though Mello’s wild passion can take the spotlight at times, Matt is never overshadowed as they’re both sure to include the other in any bit or joke they do.

- For no reason at all I think Matt it great at imitations and impressions of different people. So, like when he’s doing a bit and speaking for someone else he can assign voices for everyone and the audience knows who he’s supposed to be speaking as in that moment. Usually these people are only known to him and Mello, so the audience can’t tell how exactly spot on he is. His impression of Near gets Mello wheezing, and his Mello impression gets the audience wheezing with Mello constantly claiming “I don’t sound like that, idiot!” With the audience shouting “YES YOU DO!”

- L’s sense of humor tends to require a specific taste, which is why he would probably be one of the least successful of the bunch.

- Don’t get me wrong, his sense of humor is adorable and one of the best aspects of Death Note in my opinion, but it comes in short and random bursts. He’d be talking about something serious and then crack a joke (“yEs tHat mUst Be dArK”), so it requires patience to really get to his sense of humor.

- The audience, I feel, wouldn’t have the patience to stick around and wait for his humor to surface.

- But L would have a cult following of a specific group of people that appreciate his talents.

- I’m picturing a show in which he starts off by talking about some cases, and transition to jokes from there. Due to his occupation, many jokes involve a darker sense of humor but also contain surprisingly innocent little remarks or comments. I can’t really explain it better, it makes sense in my head but I’m not too sure how to put it into words.

- Most of the show he keeps his straight face, but when he gets the audience going from something he said he can’t help but crack a little smile and chuckle into the mic pretty bashfully.

Near

- I’m sorry but Near doesn’t have too much of a sense of humor. But he does do or say some of the most hilarious shit on accident.

- It was actually Halle that convinced him to take up stand up comedy, as she got to spend tons of time just sitting and talking with him, cracking up at something Near said while he just stared at her in confusion.

- She had complete and total confidence that just plopping Near on stage and telling him to “just talk” would get the audience going, so she took him to a bar that did stand up comedy nights. Near absolutely killed it.

- Eventually he learns what the public finds funny through experimentation and tells those kinds of jokes more often, learning to perfect his craft. Through this method he is able to go from ‘accidentally funny’ to ‘intentionally hilarious’.

Light

- I wholeheartedly believe that Light has no sense of humor. Period.

- Sure, he’s accidentally funny sometimes but not enough to fake it ‘til he makes it like Near did.

- So he gets someone else to write his show for him. He’s just a pretty face, and the person who wrote his show is mentioned once or twice but who really cares about them? It’s Light who’s doing all the work, obviously. He’s the one getting sweaty up on stage.

- Honestly he barely has a sense of humor he’s probably just do it as a side thing for recognition or like most youtubers who write a book or start a podcast.

Matsuda

- Okay so, I definitely think that Matsuda would be one of the most successful stand up comedians out of all of them.

- He’s just so bubbly and kind and just genuinely a wonderful person so who could walk out of a show if his unsatisfied? No one. That’s who.

- My mans here has the opportunity to make so many self deprecating jokes due to how the task force treats him and how he’s just overall looked at as inferior to everyone he works with. And guess what? He doesn’t take that opportunity at all. He thinks self worth is the most important thing in the world and instead focuses his jokes around break room stories and observations of every day life.

- However if he ever does make a self deprecating joke, it’s never with any hatred towards himself. Like, he’ll joke about how his recklessness got him in trouble with Yotsuba, but instead of cursing the trait he has, he always expresses his hopes to get better and learn from his mistakes. Meanwhile the audience is dying at how he tells the story with so much energy and just— ...he’s wonderful.

- He just reminds me of John Mulaney when I picture a show of his.

- He’s pretty goofy by nature and you can tell that he’s enjoying himself up on stage, watching him laugh at his own jokes and beam at the audience with a smile so bright it could rival the spotlight shining down on him.

- He also really likes the attention, having been pushed to the side for so long.

- He’s just overall a really nice and positive guy while also being hilarious to listen to. 10/10.

Misa

- With her already existing music career and fashion career, people know her pretty well. Therefore, there is a HOARD of people waiting to see how she fairs at something so different from her previous career paths.

- And y’know what? Misa’s great at it.

- I’d like to imagine she’s out of her terrible relationship with Light in this au and realize how messed up he was, so I think she’d do a lot of clowning Light in her shows.

- She will kinda mix the comedy with valuable life lessons on relationships, so a lot of fans come up to her and thank her because they let their kids watch her shows and they’ve learned so much from her while being entertained for a good hour.

- Also her voice is so cute and pleasant to listen to I would gladly listen to her talk for a week let alone an hour.

- I imagine her style of show and humor to be along the lines of straight up ranting and just talking her heart out. You know that friend that can talk for hours but it’s okay because they make everything, even the most mundane things, sound dramatic and fun and lively? Yeah, that’s her.

#death note #death note headcanon #Misa amane #death note misa #matt death note #mihael keehl #mello death note #Mail jeevas #nate river #near death note #light yagami #l Lawliet #l death note #touta matsuda #matsuda death note #comedian

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wendystales · 3 years ago

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Memories - lrh (Chapter Eighteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Seventeen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Nineteen

I remember the first time I really wanted to see New York. I must have been about 12 years old and was watching a random episode of Friends that was on TV. I saw those flashes of the city between one scene and another, and I thought it was amazing, the great stone jungle.

When I turned 16, my dad gifted me with a trip to New York, not because it was my favorite place in the world, but because it was on sale. There were 10 days where the only time I stopped to rest was bedtime. We went to almost every tourist spot, took thousands of photos and it was definitely one of the best trips I've ever been on.

Now, the city that I once wanted to know and live in, like the characters in Friends, felt like a prison. I wasn't there of my own free will or for a truly irrefutable proposal. I was there out of fear and passion, the most dangerous mixture.

I believe that at some point, a few months from now, I'm going to start loving New York, but right now, I can only feel contempt.

I pass through the arrivals gate, looking at those millions of unfamiliar faces, waiting for someone. I'm looking for a sign with my name or the logo of the Hastings Agency.

I find my name in the hands of a boy a little taller than me. Dark hair and fair skin, he needs sun. In an impeccable suit, but fumbling with his cell phone and notepad.

I approach slowly, able to hear his voice, replaying a million things. He said something about waiting for me to arrive and taking me to the hotel. Something about treating me kindly and not asking questions. I stop in front of him with a sympathetic smile, watching him widen his eyes and quickly turn off his cell phone.

“Miss McGonagall, welcome to New York.” he takes my hand, squeezing it and shaking it quickly. “I'm Edward. I will be responsible for your schedule.” I can't control the smile, noticing him nervousness. In other words, he was my Noah.

“Hi! Yeah, you can call me Marnie, that's fine. I prefer, actually.”

“Oh! Of course.” his cheeks turn pink. “Well, I'll drop you off at the hotel to rest and tomorrow at 8:00 am you should be at Valentino's studio for the rehearsal of the new bag collection. At 2:45 pm you should already be at Chanel's studio, they want to take your measurements and do some color and fabric tests for the fashion show at the end of the month. Then, at 5:00 pm, you will participate in the E! podcast, and I believe that after that you will be free for the rest of the day.” he passes it on to me as we head out of the airport.

“OK!” that's all I have to say.

“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but were you the one who required a lot of work for the next two months? I mean, you have a really busy schedule. If you don't want something, I can try to help.” he flips through the calendar while we wait for a car.

“No! It's OK. I was the one who asked. I was down for a while and I need to get back to work.” I give a slight smile, debating. "Hm, was the doctor I asked for by any chance be marked?"

“Yes! Wednesday at 3pm.” he smiles proudly, making me smile too. Edward seems like a nice guy.

We got into a silver car and went to the hotel. Along the way, Edward answers a few calls, closing in on his tasks. I seize the moment and close myself in my own world. I get my cell phone, turning it on and seeing that tsunami of people looking for me. Missed calls, messages, dm on twitter and instagram, everyone looking for me, but not him.

I lock my cell phone, trying to focus my mind on the new beginning I sought for myself. I admire the city through the car window, trying to find a piece of home there. I feel the phone vibrate in my lap with Kyleen's name, but I just decline the call. In seconds, the screen lights up again and several messages come in, I believe they are hers, but I don't even bother to look. I have no courage.

The car stops in front of the Intercontinental, and just like that, Edward jumps out of the car.

“Your loft, unfortunately, is not ready yet. So you're going to have to stay here for a few days.” he explains, heading towards the reception desk.

I stand behind him, taking in the details of the hotel. Before long, I'm entering a room on the 14th floor, with a beautiful view of the city. The bags are left in the small room before the bedroom.

I smile at my new “Noah” showing that everything is perfect.

“Good! I'll let you rest for tomorrow. Anything, these are my phones.” he gives me a card. "And you can call me at any time. I live near here, I will come in a few minutes.”

“Thank you so much, Edward. You are very kind." Again, your cheeks turn pink.

As he heads for the door, I start rummaging through my bags for pajamas.

“Hm, sorry if I'm not being professional right now, but since I believe we'll be working together in the next few months, I imagine a good relationship is essential, so you can call me Eddie.”

I open an even bigger smile, seeing that Eddie was willing to make a friendship, which is perhaps the thing I need most at the moment.

“Thanks, Eddie!” he smiles and this time he walks away, leaving me alone again.

I go back to looking for a more comfortable outfit, ignoring my cell phone blinking on the table as I muted it. I grab my clothes, heading to a shower and stay there for a long time, letting the water take everything.

When I get out of the shower, I pick up the bedroom phone, dialing my mother's number, I don't want to take the risk of answering any of my cell phone calls.

"Hello?" her lost tone makes me smile weakly.

“Hi Mom!”

“Hi, my love. How are you? Marnie, what's going on? Leah came here to say you left without saying goodbye. I called Luke, but he did not answer me and Noah said something about you being to move to New York, you told me it would be just a month.” I cover the phone, not wanting her to hear my cry, letting the tears fall. "Marnie?"

“I'm sorry, Mom.” I can't control my voice and pretend it's okay.

“Honey, what's going on? You can tell me. Mom will help you.” I realize she wants to cry too, and that hurts me more.

“I needed to do this, needed to get away from him.” the revelation comes out before I can see it.

"He who? Luke? Why? I thought everything was fine.” her desperate tone returns.

“I'm sorry I can't talk.” I close my throat, holding back tears. “I just want to let you know that I arrived well and that everything is fine.”

“Fine? Marnie, just look at your voice, your condition. I saw what you did to the apartment. Honey, things aren't fine.” now she was angry.

“Mom, please just trust me. I know what I'm doing.” Do I? I clear my throat, holding back the emotion. “I just wanted to call to say I got okay. Later we'll talk.” I hang up the phone before she asks anything else.

I head to the bathroom, drying my hair. I notice that yesterday's anger is still in me as I can't face my image in the mirror, refusing to look deep into my eyes.

With dry hair, I go back to my room, thinking about taking a nap, since I haven't slept all night and even less on the flight. I close my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts on something else. I think about that taxi I saw earlier, trying to park. Or people crossing the street without looking at the sign. At the cookie shop I want to see.

I manage to evade Luke's, my mother's, John's, and Noah's voices, giving myself more and more to the sleep that finally came. Far away, I hear someone knocking hard on the door, but I ignore it, as I had the same thoughts yesterday morning. But I wake up when the pounding comes back stronger and Leah's voice enters the room.

“Marnie Elizabeth McGonagall, open this shit now before I drop it and you know I'm capable of it.” I leap out of bed, running to the door.

She can’t be here.

I open the door, revealing Leah with perhaps the worst expression I've ever seen in the world. She was furious, if not more so. As she storms into my room without waiting for an invitation, I quickly look down the hall, seeing a couple look at me startled. I smile awkwardly, closing the door.

“What are you doing here?” I question, still not understanding.

"What are you doing here? And without warning anyone. Fading in the morning. Breaking up with Luke. What the fuck was that?” she screams.

For a second, I see that my amnesia was an issue with my plan. By not remembering my friendship with everyone, I really believed that I just left and everything would be fine. I didn't imagine anyone would cross the country for me, to understand what was going on.

And if Leah did it, it's a matter of hours before someone else does. They weren't going to leave me alone, they weren't going to forget me, and they weren't going to let this story pass. I need to push them away, but I don't know how.

"Go on, Marnie. What the fuck is going on? And if you tell me it's a job offer, I swear I'll fly at you without pity or mercy, and I'll slap the truth out.” she cross her arms.

I consider the last option a lot because I know she can do it. But I won't tell her the truth, that's not an alternative. I want to believe that if I don't back off, she'll see I'm not lying and won't attack me. And even if she tries, I just run away, I'm closer to the door and there's an armchair between us.

"But it is what it is!" I shrug.

“Stop it!” she screams. “Stop lying, Marnie. Everyone. Everyone knows you're lying, so why don't you tell the truth?” she waves her hands through the air.

“Because there's no other truth, Leah. Will I have to draw it for you?” I make the same moves she does.

“Be my guest!” she sits on the couch. I sigh wearily. I haven't slept for hours, I'm angry with myself and the world and now that I thought the situation was resolved and I just had to go on with my life, she comes and messes everything up.

“Why are you here?” I stay upright.

“I do not know! It must be cause you went crazy and disappeared without saying anything. Didn't answer my calls, no one had any answers about what was going on. So I took my father's jet and came to resolve this situation and I don't leave here without an answer at least.”

In the same way I laugh at Noah, I laugh at her, thinking it will fix everything. Leah carries the same expression as her brother, neutral, mocking.

“Why did you break up with Luke?” she asks quietly.

The mention of his name makes me shiver. I notice how my stomach turns and try to ignore it. I wonder if I can subtly extract some information from his state, but I don't want her to think I still care about him.

"Cause I wasn't in the mood anymore." I shrug, walking through space.

“My God, you've actually lied better.” I glare at her. “You know you're in trouble here, I know you better than anyone. I know you are lying and that you are going through some difficult situation. I even have my theories. So you're going to have to work a lot harder to trick me or get me out of here.” she cracks a smile, feeling victorious.

"Oh do you have? What are your theories?” I mock her.

“The first is that you really freaked out with amnesia and you can't handle it. The second is that you can't handle your feelings about Luke, it happened once before. And the third is that someone put some shit in your head and made you believe that everything would be better if you were out of the way.” I feel her gaze burning into me, looking for any reaction.

I let out a laugh, not forced, nervous that she got it right. Leah raises an eyebrow.

“You really traveled on your theories. Sorry, none are right.”

As if by magic, the answer appears to me. The only way I was going to get rid of everyone and go through with the plan without a hitch was to make her hate me. Make everyone hate me, just like I did Luke.

Just considering their hate for me makes my heart ache. But I need to do this. For Luke. For the boys. It's for their success.

“You know, a few months ago you were asked to be in a movie and you didn't take it cause you said you were a terrible actress. Isn't that right?” she gets up again. “Noah told me you said you were doing this for Luke, because you loved him. Marnie, what are you trying to hide?” she comes closer.

I feel dirty because of the attitude I'm going to take. It's low, very low, but I need her to hate me.

"Look who talks about hiding." I give a cynical laugh. Leah looks at me confused. "Don't you have anything to tell too?" she still doesn't understand. “You and Kyleen?”

Hastings freezes. The bitter taste of my act starts to fill my mouth. I’m sorry, Leah. I’m so sorry.

“How do you know?” she takes a step back.

"Who do you think closed the bathroom door on Ash's birthday?" I raise my eyebrows.

“Is not the same thing.”

“It isn’t? Aren't you hiding something from all of us?” I force a smile like hers a few minutes ago.

“No! Cause I'm not pushing everyone away, I'm not telling lies. And if you asked me, I would tell you the truth. Deep down, you know why I didn't say anything. You know my dad hasn't accepted Noah yet, that this is a problem in our family, and you know he wouldn't accept me either. You know that deep down I'm trying to protect both of us.”

“Oh! Do I?” I debauchery more. Right now, I feel horrible when I see your eyes water. I'm so, so sorry.

“I know what you're trying to do and I'm not going to stage it.” she walks past me to the door.

"Didn't you want to talk? I am talking.” Leah turns to me, straining the knife I carried in my chest, letting me see her crying face.

“You're trying to make me hate you.” now I'm the one who freezes. She laughs. “See how I know you? You are very predictable, Marnie. And as much as I know of your intention, I will not allow you to reach your goal. I hope that one day, not too far away, you realize what a big shit you're doing.” she opens the door, going. “Oh, and before I forget, since it's meant to hurt. Congrats, since your little chat with Luke, he's been locked in his room, needing Michael to keep an eye on him.” so Leah slams the door and strikes the final blow.

I bite the inside of my mouth, letting the tears fall. Honestly, I didn't even have the strength to hold back anymore. The rage burning inside me gives way to pain. I imagine Luke locked in his room, lying on the bed, hating me. Hating what we had and what we thought we had.

I walk over to my suitcase, pulling out a package, with the photos I'd taken from the box and the little white box he'd given me. I open it, holding the necklace with his name on it, the one he gave me.

Even knowing what I had to do, I wouldn't get rid of this necklace, I don't have the courage. It was easier to buy an equal one and put it in his hand. What he did to me would be kept with me forever.

““Closed eyes.” he fights.

"I have my eyes closed." I rebate. “Lucas…” I chide him, when I feel his lips on the back of my neck.

“Sorry, I got distracted.” I hold back the urge to laugh. “Closed eyes.”

"If you say it one more time, you'll get hit." I threat.

"How, if you can't see me?" right now, the urge to hit him is so strong that I follow the sound of his voice, trying to kick him. “Hey! No rudeness, otherwise you'll be left without a gift.” the false authoritative tone makes me angrier. “Good girl!”

“Go!” I kicked.

I'm startled by the icy touch against my neck. It's a necklace. Eagerly, I touch the pendant, recognizing the shape. He didn't do it.

“You can open it.” his hands move to my hips, hugging me.

With my eyes open, I run my vision to my neck, finding there a necklace just like his but blue.

“Happy Birthday!” he drops a kiss on my cheek.

I hold the blue quartz, seeing Luke's name engraved on the back. I let a stupid smile spread across my face, glaring at my boyfriend with the same.

"Want to explain why we're wearing practically identical necklaces?"

“It's a little obvious. Couples wear rings and I know what a problem you have with rings.”

“It’s not a problem.” I try to defend myself.

“It's just Alzheimer's. You know, in some people, it starts before they're 70 years old.” I hit him, and he laughs, before he hugs me. "Like I was saying, I know you're not into wearing a ring, so since I already had my necklace, I thought you'd have yours. That way we'll always be close to each other's hearts.” I rest my hands on his shoulders, standing on tiptoes.

"Have I told you I love you today?" I whisper, moving closer.

“Not after 5 pm.” he pouted, looking at the clock on the wall.

I don't know how I managed to kiss him with such a stupid smile on my face.

“Why do I like you, huh?” I question, stealing a little kiss.

“Because I'm cheesy and romantic. And even if you deny it, I know you get attached to it.” he opens a victorious smile.

"Don't ever say 'get attached' again." I beg laughing.

"What is it, bae? That was awesome.” he laughs.

“No!” I scream, laughing.

"What is it, babe girl? Don't you stick to my way of get in?” he keeps teasing me.

I place my lips on yours, determined to shut your mouth and thank you that it works. My mental reminder of “we're late for dinner” evaporates when his hands reach under my shirt. I scratch the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

“We're late for dinner.” he says against my mouth as I start to unbutton his shirt.

“Just say the traffic was like hell.” I suggest kissing his neck.

Luke accepts the idea, picking me up and walking me back to the bedroom."

It's not hard to know that we were late for dinner that day. But I didn't care, I had been given a necklace with his name on it, a necklace that showed how our relationship was getting more and more serious.

I also realize that the two times I got this necklace, at least once I ended up in bed with him. In fact, in both, but only one made it to the end.

“I hate myself.” I say tiredly, going to the minibar to get anything containing alcohol that makes me forget everything.

I call the front desk for two bottles of champagne and the biggest snack they have. I pick up the small whiskey bottles, turning one after the other, as if they were shot. I shake my head, wanting the effect to start faster.

“I hate myself. Leah hates me. Kiki must hate me now too. Just like Noah and everyone else there. Everybody hates me.” I turn the last one over, shaking my head once more. “Luke hates me. Hates me too much.” I comment, hugging the pillow.

I pick up a Polaroid of ours, staring at our happiness marked there. What am I doing?

I throw my head in my hands, lost. I wonder what might happen if I crawl into bed and don't go out for the rest of the month. Probably more people will hate me, but who doesn't hate me now? I mean, just get in line.

Awakened from the thought, when someone knocks on the door. For a second, I wonder who it was, then remember I ordered room service. I walk to the door, feeling the weight of the six small bottles.

My stomach churns and I feel an overwhelming urge to vomit as I land my eyes on the redhead in front of me. Red-haired?

"Bethany?"

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beholdme · 4 years ago

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All the Many Shades of Gerry - Chapter 8

Chapters: 8/19

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist

Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Gertrude Robinson, Elias Bouchard

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Library AU, Librarian Jon, Artist Gerry, Trans Male Character, Trans Martin Blackwood, Canon Asexual Character, Asexual Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Ace Subtype - Sex Positive, Polyamory, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romantic Fluff, Falling In Love, Boys in Skirts, Kissing, Demisexual Gerard Keay, Minor Character Death, Past Character Death, Canon-Typical Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Flirting, Minor Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Adventures in Hair Dying, Happy Ending, Banter, Gerry has a lot of sass, Gerard Keay is Morticia Adams, Jon is a very grumpy Librarian, Martin adores them anyway.

Summary: In which Gerry is a kaleidoscope and Jon and Martin can’t help falling in love with him.

He happens to love them back.

Find it on Ao3

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

“We shouldn’t go in,” Jon tells his giggling partners very firmly, but they pay him no mind, and he gets dragged by the hand into the storefront.

The girl working the front desk looks up with a vaguely alarmed look on her face, probably because Gerry and Martin look drunk, despite it being 11 A.M. on a Sunday. They are not, although Jon can understand why someone would think that, as they march right up to the desk, faces flushed, still laughing boisterously.

“Is Melanie in? She’s a good mate of mine.” Gerry tells the receptionist.

“Yes, I’ll check with her if she has a second for you.” And she scuttles off to the back.

“It’s Gerry!” He calls off behind her, before turning to grin at Jon. “Don’t hover in the doorway, babe, Melanie doesn’t bite.”

“Melanie is in fact, perfectly capable of biting,” Jon mutters petulantly, as he moves further into the room to eye the art on the walls. “Especially when you used to date her girlfriend.”

“Oh look, my favorite emo goth boy!” Melanie yells, exploding out the back of the store, all 5 feet of her filled with frenzied energy. Her face immediately sours when she catches sight of Jon, hiding behind Martin. “And my least favourite douche bag.”

“Now, now firecracker, be nice to my boyfriend.” Gerry pulls her into a hug, which leads to a headlock and a swift jab to his ribs.

“I’m very happy to be nice to Martin,” She responds sweetly, blowing him a kiss. “What brings you lot over to darken my doorstep?”

“Piercings,” Gerry tells her with an unnatural amount of glee.

“Jon agreed to let me pierce him?” Melanie asks, perking right up at the idea of causing Jon pain.

“No!” Jon exclaims.

At the same time, Gerry says, “Nah, he’s not interested, but Martin and I were wanting something each.”

“Martin?” Melanie asks dubiously, eyeing up sweet-looking, pink-haired, cardigan-clad Martin.

“Yes,” Martin confirms with false solemnity. “Boyfriends who bleed together stay together.”

“You know,” Melanie remarks, grinning at them, “I have heard about that Pagan ritual.”

Jon has slunk over to a wall of healed artwork and concept designs, managing to avoid Melanie's barbs. As far as he is concerned, the art isn’t as interesting as Gerry’s work. Although, he supposes that what you can make beautiful on a canvas is very different from what you can make beautiful on someone's skin.

“I’ve got a bit of an opening now, what do you want to get?” She asks Gerry.

“Well, you know I’ve been wanting to have my nipples done.” He offers, teal eyes looking slightly wild.

“Yeah?” She grins in triumph, “I’ve been waiting for this day.”

“Yup and Martin has been considering something for his ears.”

“Hmmm,” She wanders over to Martin to examine him. “Open for suggestions?”

“Maybe.”

“They’re a good shape. Double helix?” She looks to Gerry for affirmation.

“Definitely.” He smirks, eyes lighting up with satisfaction.

"Two?" Martin looks slightly dubious.

"If you do them together, the pain is only a tiny bit more, and the healing time is two-for-one," Melanie reassures him, and Jon thinks it's the nicest she's ever sounded. "It's up to you though, of course."

Jon steals himself to brave the fray, going over to take Martin's hand. It's slightly clammy with the nerves that Gerry's enthusiasm has prevented up until this point.

"It won't be so bad, love." He presses a kiss to Martin's cheek, offering his support. "Just a small jab, then it's done."

"Let's do it."

***

There's a brief fuss with consent forms, aftercare instructions, and payment.

"I don't know what you lot," Melanie instructs Gerry firmly, gesturing between them, "get up to in the bedroom, but no twisting, no pulling, no biting, no sucking your nipples for 12 weeks."

Jon blushes, but Gerry and Martin aren't bothered. "Yeah, firecracker, I know the drill. This isn't my first circus."

"Kinky little shit," Jon mutters under his breath, but the goth only winks at him.

Martin's care instructions are less suggestive, and Gerry and Jon both promise to help him with it.

“Martin should go first,” Melanie pronounces, patting the piercing chair as she disinfects her hands and gloves up.

“Me?” Martin asks.

“Yup, yours will be a lot simpler, and I don’t want to traumatise you by making you watch nipple piercings before your turn.”

Martin climbs on the chair, looking a little pale, but resolute. Jon stands on the side not occupied by Melanie, gripping his hand reassuringly. Gerry stands slightly behind the chair, hand on Martin's shoulder.

The ear piercings are almost comically quick and easy. Two quick pinches, less painful than bee stings, and then Martin's ear is pierced and adorned with small hoops.

He sighs with relief and oh's with delight when Gerry hands him a mirror to check them out.

"I love it!" He exclaims, beaming at Jon and Gerry. They smile back at him, each taking a turn to kiss him on the cheek or forehead, their own relief palpable.

"It's just you and me now," Melanie grins at Gerry and gestures for him to strip.

He shucks off his trench coat and black t-shirt, and stands in front of her, completely at ease.

Jon takes a moment to wonder if he has managed to get himself into a relationship with a masochist. Not because of the piercings, but because Gerry seems to genuinely enjoy being friends with Melanie.

The nipple piercings seem to be a much more complicated process, with markings and adjustments, but several rounds of cleaning and disinfecting later, Melanie runs a metal piercing bar through first one nipple and then the other. Gerry hisses with discomfort but stands carefully steady.

She steps back to make sure they look straight and even, before declaring it a success.

"Nice," Gerry says succinctly, looking in the large upright mirror, nodding his head enthusiastically. He and Melanie high five, and she condescends to grip him in a firm hug from the side.

"You sure I can't tempt you, Jon?" Melanie asks him sweetly as she starts to clean up her station, Gerry putting his clothes back on close by.

Knowing she just wants to cause him pain, Jon tells her firmly, "No, thank you."

He is over by the wall again, looking at different art this time, including a picture of a tattoo that catches his focus. It's a playing card amid a complex arm sleeve, an Ace of diamonds, and despite a lifelong disinterest in tattoos, it speaks to him.

"I think you'd look better with a spade, love.” Gerry manages to startle Jon slightly, appearing beside him and wrapping an arm around his waist. Jon marvels at his apparent ability to read his mind.

“You think so?” Jon queries, softly. Gerry hums his affirmation. “It's a bit much though, don't you think?”

"You don't need the whole card, for what you want. Just the A and the spade. Small and bold." He picks up Jon's hand, indicating the spot below his thumb on his wrist.

Gently releasing it, Gerry grabs a pen and scrap of paper and rapidly draws out a solid, simple design.

Jon glances over at Melanie, extremely dubious. "Maybe we can go somewhere else to get it?" He whispers.

Gerry laughs warmly, tapping the small piece of paper. "I could do it for you myself."

Jon blinks at him, rather owlishly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can give you the tattoo. I'm probably a bit rusty, but I did survive a full tattoo apprenticeship. I’ve done about a million over the years, although I had to give up my machine when I moved to London."

"You did a tattoo apprenticeship?" Martin asks from nearby, tone skeptical.

"Yup, when I was living in Edinburgh. All three years." Gerry tells them casually. "That's where I met Melanie, actually."

Jon and Martin exchange a baffled look, but choose to simply file it under 'Things Gerry tells us out of order.'

“Well, if you can do it...” Jon sounds a bit floaty but he is staring at the design yearningly, which Gerry knows is a good sign.

"Firecracker," Gerry yells over to Melanie, "Can I borrow your machine?"

***

Melanie makes the stencil while Gerry reacquaints himself with the tattoo gun, setting everything up and getting used to the weight of it in his hand again. The rhythm is always the same with tattooing and he feels himself fall into the past a bit.

When everything is ready, he gestures Jon over to sit in the chair, smiling beatifically.

Jon is shaking a little as he slides up onto it, and Gerry presses a reassuring kiss to his hand before he starts the prep.

"You ready?"

Jon gulps. "Yes."

Martin comes over to take Jon's other hand and Melanie hovers nearby, wanting to watch Gerry like a hawk the entire time he's handling her machine. ("It's the true love of her life," Gerry had confessed to Martin earlier. "Don't tell Georgie.")

Gerry follows the same procedure with any tattoo: cleanse, shave, cleanse again. Numbing cream, in this case, to prevent nerve twitches, then alcohol rub down. Eventually, he applies the stencil carefully, making sure to get it straight and in the correct place.

He checks with Jon, making sure that it is where he wants it. Jon confirms, smiling to see the design on his skin for the very first time.

As the buzz of the machine fills the space, Jon and Gerry make eye contact for a moment. Jon's earthy green eyes are wide, and Gerry can almost see where his pulse pounds through his jaguar vein. He stills a moment, really checking Jon's energy.

He's nervous, it's obvious to see, but Gerry can also see the real desire in him, and with a wink, turns to look down at his new canvas. He sets to work, the buzzing of the needle filling the air.

***

"I love it," Jon whispers to Gerry later, lying in the circle of his arms, Martin's warm weight at his back.

"I love it too." Gerry kisses his forehead sweetly, almost asleep. "Martin, what do you think of your ear?"

"I think boyfriends who commit to pain together stay together," Martin mutters drowsily, repeating his sentiment from earlier.

"Ah, yes," Jon mutters, "The great cosmic bond of suffering."

They laugh easily, the hot excitement of the day echoing within them, yet another thread in the colourful tapestry of their relationship.

#the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #gerry keay #jongerrymartin #fic #also on ao3

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #282

“daddy’s flown across the ocean / leaving just a memory / a snapshot in the family album / daddy, what’d you leave behind for me?”

What is your favorite type of dance? I like modern dances, especially those unusual or creepy with unique music. They’re the dances I look forward to watching in dance competitions. Do you find making scenes in public fun? Oh fuck no. Lemonade or pink lemonade? Pink is Supreme in so many ways. Where do you feel safest? At home, especially if Mom is here. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I’d love to. Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? No. I don’t want to move to Africa. What do you like to do when you're home alone? HAHA okay so I almost exclusively watch Unus Annus when Mom isn’t home because I will almost without a doubt cackle at least once, and… explaining why I’d be laughing would be WILD. UA is a fucking gift & I’mma miss it when it’s gone. What kind of music calms you down? My best bet is nostalgic music that I hold very close, like Ozzy. The soundtracks to SotC and SH2 are also magical when it comes to soothing me. Who did you last go to a park with? Uhhhh… probably not since I took family pictures for someone. Got some nice ones. Have you ever been robbed? Thankfully, no. Are you working, a student, both, or neither? Neither, and at nearly 25, it’s fucking humiliating. I’m thinking of appealing my disability case (you very rarely get it the first time), but of course self-doubt and anxiety just slaps me across the face again and again by asking, “Do you really need it?” That shit is agonizing. Very highly regarded people in my life agree that it’s realistic for me, at least at this moment, while I sort out my mental health. I don’t plan on being on it forever, fuck no. But right now I am, no matter what anyone says, a leech in my home. What's your favorite holiday? Christmas. I prefer Halloween’s “vibe,” of course, but I am much more excited and just thankful at Christmastime, especially now as an aunt with children who *understand* the holiday. Their joy and excitement is enough of a gift to me. It’s always really hard on Mom because she’s convinced she doesn’t do enough (she cries at least once like… every year), but my sisters and I always reassure her. It’s also a nice opportunity to see Dad and my stepmom, also with my sister’s family, and once again we get to see the kids so happy. But enough about them; what I love most about Christmas is I generally am able to put my troubles into perspective and take the time to remember I am, in the big picture, lucky to have what and who I do. And SNOW!!!!! If you can’t tell I’m stoked for Christmas. Do you prefer male or female friends? Both are great, but I’m more relaxed with female friends because of the whole “scared of men” ordeal. What's your favorite dessert? Biiiiihhhhh lemme get my hands on ice cream. Do you ever go on chatroulette or omegle? Noooo, I never did. That shit creeps me out. Besides, I’m shy. What kind of tea do you drink? None. Do you know anyone in a gang? Not to my knowledge… What color is your fridge? White. We decided to use the fridge already in this house versus our old one. Is your phone mostly on vibrate, silent, or ringtone? It’s just about always on vibrate. Do you own black sunglasses? I don’t own any sunglasses. Are you currently looking for a job? Fuck if I know. Not actively, but if something suitable magically popped up, I’d definitely pursue it. Do you watch MTV? No. Do you like to tell people who you like? Historically, I tend to keep my mouth shut about it to people who know that love interest unless explicitly asked, and even then, it depends on if I think they’ll keep their mouth shut. How often do you braid your hair? It’s too short to be braided. I very rarely had it braided beforehand. What color is your microwave? Black. Do you wash your face in the morning when you wake up? If I remember, especially if I’m groggy. Are you interested in the ocean? No more or no less than the average person. What's a big turn on for you? Keeping physical stuff outta this, I’m just such a fuckin sucker for being authentically romantic lmao. Have you ever thought about being a teacher? Heeeeeelllllll no. What's the first thing you do when you turn your computer on? Close out of the stuff that automatically pops up after it starts. Do you drink Gatorade? Ugh, ew, no. Do you hate when people replace 0's with O's? EX: 9:OO AM. Lol no, it’s honestly aesthetically pleasing in some formats. Did you hate riding the bus? Some of my best school memories are the long bus rides home w/ Jason so uh- Do you ever use XOXO in texts, letters etc..? Nah. Has anyone ever told you they liked you to your face? Yeah. Have you ever touched an elephant? No. Reading or writing? Writing. Do you have a childhood nickname? Mom called (and sometimes still does lakjdf;alkwe) me “Twinkie.” She gave sweets-oriented nicknames to all her kids. Have you ever had a Moon Pie? UGH they’re gross. I have this faint memory as a kid of a sweetheart babysitter my sisters and I had always offering us banana moon pies as a snack or dessert, idr. I’ve always hated anything banana-flavored. Has your car ever had troubles? N/A What's your birthstone? Amethyst. Would you join the navy? I want nothing to do with anything remotely related to war. What's your favorite board game? Battleship. Do you like chess? I’ve never played it nor even know the rules. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for first trying it? I was absolutely parched after a long, sweaty walk and was offered it to “try” by my mom without me knowing it was alcohol… the “WAIT NO STOP” from everyone was so quick lmao. It was just hard lemonade, so nothing super serious. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectantly turned up pregnant right this second? I probably would. There is no fucking way I can emotionally handle carrying a baby right now. But I’d feel like absolute shit, even though I’m pro-choice. I just don’t want to picture myself in that situation. Is there a situation where you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Probably. Although generally, I’m very resilient to peer pressure when it comes to something I really don’t want to do. What is your favorite video game console? Why? PS2, of course. I think the best games came from that era, many ahead of their time. Example, the original Shadow of the Colossus graphics massively pressured the limits of the software, and it still to this day blows me away. Sure, you have some lag in return, but the end result was just magnificent. I seriously, seriously, seriously hope I’m able to play the remake one day. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? I was. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? How I need a change and purpose in life so motherfucking badly. Where’s the last place you went? I was riding around with Mom, doing some errands. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. When was the last time you went apple picking? Never. Do you have a good relationship with your cousins? We don’t really… have a relationship. We don’t talk, we just kinda “exist” knowing we’re related. What was the last kids movie you saw? I watched some of Hotel Transylvania 3 with my niece and nephew. Do you know anyone who was born in Africa? When I was still in college, there was at least one guy in my class who was. Tutored me in math. Patience of a saint, haha. Have you ever been to an internet cafe? I actually have zero clue what that is. Has the year gone quickly for you so far? I’ve barely discerned 2018-2020, if I’m being honest with you. It’s just a lump of time where I’ve done jack-all. I mean yeah, school fits in there somewhere, but mentally I wasn’t in a wonderful place and haven’t been “happy” for a long time. My mental state has been the same for a few years. How many siblings does your significant other have? N/A Are you one of those people who can drink vodka straight? Oh, I hiiiighly doubt it. I loathe the taste of alcohol. Do you share a middle name with any of your friends? I legitimately have one of the most basic white bitch middle names in America, I know tons. How many pairs of jeans do you own? None. Do you know the name of the pharmacist at your local drug store? One, yes, considering Mom worked there before the cancer and is still in touch with this pharmacist. What flavor is your toothpaste? Mint. Are you sleepy right now? I think I’m permanently sleepy. Do you like crime films and tv shows? Not especially. Are you bitter about anything? Many things. What was the first online account you remember having? Neopets. My older sister helped me set it up when I was somewhere around eight. Do you use emojis? More than I used to. I’m gradually converting from emoticons to emojis, oof. What was the last type of soda you drank? Mountain Dew. Do you remember much from high school? I probably remember too much from high school, if I’m being honest. I remember far too much in far too much detail during the almost four years I dated Jason. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Probably the Bahamas, mostly for the pink beaches, aha. It would also be an incredible photography opportunity. Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? My former best friend’s dad was so southern that yes, I could barely understand him whatsoever. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? If you mean a fresh, new one and not a glow-up on the Mark tribute tat I’ve mentioned five thousand times, a tribute to Teddy featuring his portrait, pawprint, and the Powerwolf lyrics “and we’ll meet where the wild wolves have gone.” I’m going to be picky as a motherfucker about the design itself, though, so realistically it probably wouldn’t be tomorrow since I’d probably commission people to draw in varying styles. Ugh, I need that tattoo gun, my man. What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? That would be 4 Peens in a Pod (it’s… not a porn I swear, it’s Fischfuck and the boys lmao). I’m waaaaaaaaaaay behind on it, though. I watch so many different things now that I’m behind on like… everything I watch/listen to. Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I think I was with all of them? What was the last thing you wrote in a Word document? This survey. Because I combine short ones into Big Boys that I usually don’t finish in one go, I save my progress on it. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss a number of people and would rather not retrospect on them. What were the best and worst costumes you’ve ever worn? *shrug* Do you know anybody who is gay and married? I think so. What did you last take painkillers for? A headache. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Ugh. A whole fucking lot. I’ve thought quite a bit recently on how I miss video editing, but I just don’t have the motivation and dedication for that anymore. Have you ever shared a home with a friend? Yes. What’s the craziest or weirdest place you’ve ever slept? Nowhere that strange at all… Probably just like, the floor, but even then with blankets and stuff. What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven't had lunch yet. Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Pollen is pretty obvious, while serious discoloring and itching let me know I was allergic to silver. Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? Yeah, I was visiting her for a couple weeks. It was nice. Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? In ~real life~, probably some friend on Facebook. Do you know anyone who is deaf? We recently found out actually that my youngest niece is deaf in her left ear due to a massive buildup of fluid in it. I’m so ready to hear about her reaction to hearing normally once it’s taken care of. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? Probably at some point. “Ever” makes this question difficult. Do you think you have a good understanding on love? Yes. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them both immensely while acknowledging their flaws. What celebrity do you think should of never become famous? I don’t care enough to think on this honestly haha. Did you ever get into the Twilight saga craze? What about the Harry Potter craze? Neither. What's your opinion about Katy Perry's song "I Kissed a Girl"? It was bold for its time, for sure. I’ve never minded it. Actually since coming out as bi I’ve known that this song has to be included in the recession dances of my wedding if my partner is female lmao. Do you believe in heaven? If so, what's it like? If not, why? I hope there’s some sort of total bliss after death if you’re deserving of such, but I don’t know. I definitely don’t know how I actually picture it. Even if there’s not, well, I’m assuming I just won’t exist anymore, so I wouldn’t be able to care anyway. Sometimes I hope that's the case. What email service do you use for your main (or only) email account? Hotmail. Did you ever believe in the Tooth Fairy? Yeah. I remember there was one time where “she” didn’t trade my tooth for munz and I was so mad lmao. Mom apparently forgot and slipped something under the pillow while I was getting ready for school. How I fell for it, who knows man, kids are wild. How do you feel about Taco Bell? I’m not a Mexican food fan, really, but I do love their cheese (with or without chicken) quite a bit. The cinnamon bite things are bomb as FUCK, too. I’m still mad tilted they took potato products off their menu tho because I used to destroy the fiesta potatoes. How often do you go on to YouTube? I’m like… always on it. Not focusing on it at all times, but something’s in the background. Back when Spongebob Squarepants was famous, were you interested in it? Well of course, man. What's your dream pet? Ugggghhhh a sunset morph ball python, probably. Buuut I’ve seen some over $2k with their rarity. More realistically, I really, really want a Brazilian Black tarantula. And an arctic morph hognose. I want a lot of pets. ;_; Who's been your favorite teacher growing up, and why? God, I have a lot, honestly. All things considered, the answer is probably Miss Tobey, who was my physical science teacher in high school. She’s an extremely close family friend now involved regularly in my family’s lives. She can be… difficult and says shit before thinking, but we love her nevertheless. What's your favorite fairy tale? Fuck outta here if you say Shrek isn’t one. Do you have a favorite pen? Uh, no… I barely ever use pens anyway. Has a child ever asked you a question you found difficult to answer? Yeah; it happens sometimes with my niece and nephew. Name five books you've read in the past year. I think I’ve read the first three Wings of Fire book within the same year, and I’m currently on the forth. Other than those, I started The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but only got through the prologue I think before my focus shifted onto WoF. I still plan on reading it at some point, though. ^Are any of those books your favorite? No. The prequel to The Testaments, The Handmaid’s Tale, is very high up there, though. Are you a person that enjoys re-reading books? Not at all. Once I read it once, I’m done. There are VERY few books I’ve reread, and most of those were children’s books from when I was little. Do you have a favorite talk show host? Don’t watch any. Which sounds the most refreshing: a hot shower or a cold one? I prefer hot showers unless I seeeeeriously need to cool down. Have you ever made your own soap? No. Can you sleep with socks on? UGH NO. When was the last time you were pissed beyond belief and why? Ummm good question. I don’t know about *that* mad. Maybe when Ashley’s mother-in-law shared a massively homophobic article that condoned conversion therapy on Facebook that resulted in me removing her from my friends and RAGING to my mom about it. That was forever ago, though. Do you have a favorite candle brand? No. What is your opinion on taxidermy? I have… very mixed feelings. If the animal was hunted for sport, then it’s fuckin disgusting; you literally killed an animal with the intention to show off the fact you’re a goddamn murderer. On the other hand, taxidermy of naturally-deceased animals can be educational, and even… artistic sometimes? I don’t know. I can’t really pick one stance over the other. Would you ever want to own a body part in a jar? Actually, yes, particularly of fetal animals (that WERE NOT killed for the sake of displaying), but for the same reasons above, I’m not sure if I would *really* do it. They are incredibly interesting to me, more so than taxidermy probably, but yeah, I still question the morality of it. What is the worst thing you have ever done to your own hair? I don’t think I’ve ever really done a “bad” thing to my hair. What qualities of yours do you think could potentially harm a relationship? I’m very clingy and, in the beginning, very paranoid that you’re going to leave. Have any of your childhood habits carried over into adolescence/adulthood? I had AWFUL separation anxiety from my mom for a very long time as a kid, and I guess that evolved into my extreme inability to handle loss well, maybe. I’d say they’re at least somewhat related. What is the first band that comes to mind when I say 'dark'? Cradle of Filth popped up first. As far as relationships go, what are your biggest deal-breakers? Abuse, arrogance, and distrust probably top the list. Be honest: do looks really matter to you? Nah. It’s nice to be physically attracted to my partner, but it’s not a must. Have you ever done something simply because you were of age? No. Do you think it's worth it to tell someone you had feelings for them when you don't have them anymore? I mean, what’s the situation? Are you hanging out, talking about relationships casually? I’d say it’s fine then if it’s relevant to the conversation. I don’t think it’s worth going out of your way to tell someone you liked them if you don’t anymore, though. Have you ever done something you once thought you'd be too chicken to do? Y’know that ride at fairs where you go up really high on a circular thing with other people and then drop abruptly? That. I screamed like a mf lmao. I had to put a lot of effort into not yelling “SHIIIIIIIIIIIT” lmao. What's a food you love but don't get to eat very often? Stuff involving shrimp, ig. What's your favorite mythical being? Dragons! Have you ever felt a baby kick? I don’t think so, and I don’t want to, considering it’s fucking terrifying to me. I can’t even see a baby move without screaming and wanting to hurl. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? Who the fuck knows… What is the worst thing you've ever done when you were really angry? Said things I shouldn’t have. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? A lot. I can’t be bothered to go through all of them. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I’m not sure. Do you feel that way around anyone now? I don’t think so. What is your main heritage? German or Irish, idr which is more prominent. What is a song that you hate to admit you like? “Bitches” by Hollywood Undead came to me first lmao. What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? More than anything, watching inspirational YouTube videos. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? I suppose maybe my ears? I had tubes put in as a kid, I had an absolutely agonizing ear infection once, I had earwax adhered to my eardrum, and they've always been STUPID dry and flaky. Are you watching your weight? Like a hawk, but it doesn’t seem to matter anyway. :^) Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? Most of my closest friends I’ve met online. What is the coolest tattoo you've ever seen? You’re asking the wroooong person, lol. I’ve just seen way too many… Have you ever created anything artistic that you're proud of? If so, what? Lots of things; drawings, some writing, photographs, video edits… What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? Just ketchup and mustard. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? Sex. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? MEERKATS and MARK What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? Tell me I’m weak. Or that my mental illnesses truly do make me unlovable. Just essentially do fucking not make me feel what Jason did. What is the worst thing you've ever done to someone emotionally? Said some extremely mean and potentially scarring shit.

#survey #quiz #questions #questionnaire

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letterboxd · 4 years ago

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How I Letterboxd #5: Will Slater.

Talking mullets and other manes with the man behind the internet’s definitive ‘exploding helicopters in movies’ catalog.

“Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment.”

A London-based PR man by day, by night Will Slater has a thing (and a podcast, blog and Twitter account) for movies that feature exploding helicopters. According to his Letterboxd bio, it’s “the world’s only podcast and blog dedicated to celebrating the art of exploding helicopters in films… as well as shaming those directors who dishonor the helicopter explosion genre”. As Will tells Jack Moulton, he also loves film noir, Wakaliwood, masala movies and much more. Just don’t get him started on the one action movie cliché that never fails to disappoint.

Sylvester Stallone takes aim in ‘Rambo III’ (1988).

First things first, have you ever had a ride in a helicopter? Will Slater: What, do you think I’m mad? Of course I’ve never flown in a helicopter! If I’ve learned anything from watching hundreds of films where helicopters spectacularly explode, it’s that they are a singularly dangerous form of transport. You never know when Sylvester Stallone is going to pop up with an explosive-tipped arrow and blow you out of the sky.

I’m going to say the words ‘the definitive action hero/heroine’. Who pops into your head first? No runners-up. Go. Snake Plissken, no question, for a number of good reasons. First, there’s the look: that eye-patch, the beaten-to-hell leather jacket and Kurt Russell’s lustrous mane of hair. Second, there’s the attitude: his contempt for authority, the drawled sarcasm and all-round bad-assery. And I also like that he doesn’t have any special abilities. Action heroes generally tend to be either musclebound slabs of beef—Arnold Schwarzenegger, Stallone—or martial arts specialists—Jean-Claude van Damme, Jackie Chan—Plissken is just a pissed-off, angry dude who’s trying to stay alive. He’s very relatable. Plus, I’d argue he pretty much invented the whole anti-hero formula that rules our screens today.

Kurt Russell as Snake Plissken in John Carpenter’s ‘Escape from New York’ (1981).

When did you start your podcast and which film got you into looking deeper into the topic? It was while watching the cheesily bad Cyborg Cop that I first had an epiphany about the weird and wonderful ways in which helicopters seemed to continually explode in movies. But the film that convinced me to start documenting the phenomenon was Stone Cold. If you’re not familiar with the film, it was an attempt to turn former gridiron star and mullet-king Brian Bosworth into the next big action star. It goes without saying that Stone Cold did not transform ‘The Boz’ into the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the film wasn’t a total failure as it features a helicopter explosion that is as brilliant as it is gloriously stupid.

And that was the prompt to start the Exploding Helicopter. I launched the website in 2009, and the podcast followed 2015. Since we started, our aim has been a simple one: to celebrate the strange and inventive ways that helicopters explode in films.

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Motorcycle crashes into helicopter in mid-air, ‘Stone Cold’ (1991).

When did you join Letterboxd? What are your favorite features here? I’ve been around since 2013. As for the features, the stats are very cool. When you dig into your viewing history, you can learn some very revealing things about yourself. For example, I generally like to think I have a commendably broad taste in film, and watch only the most important and influential works from every decade, genre and country. But then you look at the data and find you’ve watched Thunderball nine times in the last five years, so maybe you’re not as cool as you thought.

We noticed that your profile faves are low-key and explosion-free, given your theme of choice. Why these four and not Die Hard four times? Man cannot live on helicopter explosions alone. Even I need some occasional intellectual nourishment, between watching whirlybird conflagrations. There’s a little bit of nostalgia tied up in The Ipcress File. I first saw it as a kid, and it made a big impression on me. It’s very stylishly directed, has a great John Barry score and a star-making turn from Michael Caine. I’m a big film noir fan and Sweet Smell Of Success is a beautifully sour tale of cynicism and manipulation. To borrow the words of Burt Lancaster in the film, it’s a ��cookie full of arsenic”.

Jean-Pierre Melville is my favorite director and Le Samouraï was the first of his films that I saw. What Melville does so masterfully in this, and his other crime films, is distil the elements of film noir. Basically, he takes the genre’s iconography—the gun, the trenchcoat, the fedora—and familiar plot tropes—the betrayed assassin, the heist gone wrong, the criminal doing one last job—then elevates them above cliché into something almost mythic. And what do I really need to say about Taxi Driver, other than it’s a masterpiece?

Now you say you shame directors who dishonor the art of helicopter explosions? Which directors did you dirty? Well, one of the biggest names in our hall of shame is Tony Scott. For a man who specialized in hyper-stylized, pyrotechnic-filled action movies, he flunked every helicopter explosion he filmed. In our eyes, one of the most egregious offences you can commit is failing to show the helicopter explosion. And in both Spy Game and Domino, old Tony cheats the viewer by having the chopper fly out of sight before it explodes. Now, I can accept such visual chicanery in a low-budget film, where they presumably don’t have the money to stage the scene, but what’s Tony’s excuse? If you look at his filmography, at one time or another he’s wrecked trains, planes and automobiles in spectacular fashion. But for some reason, he repeatedly couldn’t be bothered to give us a satisfying chopper conflagration. At a certain point, it starts to feel like a personal slight. Tony, what did I ever do to you?

In your immortal words, “a film is always improved by a helicopter explosion.” When has this been especially true? When you see lists of worst-ever directors, Uwe Boll is a name that always seems to turn up. And, according to the internet, one of his worst-ever films is the video game adaptation, Far Cry. Now, I’m not going to try [to] convince you that the film is a neglected classic, but it does have a very imaginatively staged exploding helicopter scene. It’s too convoluted to explain here, but take my word that it wouldn’t be out of place in a Fast and Furious movie.

What about the unsung heroes; the stunt artists, the pilots, the pyrotechnicians, the VFX wizards who have worked on numerous iconic action moments, all of whom deserve a shoutout? Personally, I don’t understand why the Academy doesn’t have a stunts category. But if they did, I’d be lobbying hard for Spiro Razatos to get the first award. These days, he works as a stunt coordinator on the Fast and Furious and Marvel films, but I’d like to draw people’s attention to some of his early work. Back in the nineties, he did a lot of work with PM Entertainment films, an independent company that made low-budget action films for the home video market.

They might not have had much money, but they put every cent on the screen with glorious, raucously inventive set pieces that were often more spectacular than big-budget Hollywood offerings. And remember: this was in pre-CGI times, so every death-defying detail was absolutely ‘real’. Go back and watch films like The Sweeper or Rage, and you’ll can see why Super Spiro has now graduated to these more prestigious gigs.

Narrow this list down for us: which is the ultimate most spine-tingly epic “we got company” movie moment? As you may have gathered, I do like an action movie cliché. When you encounter one in a film, it’s like meeting an old friend. And one of my favorites is when someone uses this classic line of dialog to signal that a car chase or a gun battle is about to start. I’ve heard people deliver the line in all sorts of ways–funny, scared, angrily and often just badly. But if you want spine-tingly, then you can’t beat Harrison Ford in Star Wars. He drops the line during the detention-block scene after failing to bluff an imperial officer. As soon as he says it, John Williams’ iconic score kicks in. It gives you the ‘feels’ every time.

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“Boring conversation anyway.” Han Solo and Chewbacca in ‘Star Wars’ (1977).

And which action movie cliché can you simply not stand? Stop it: my hackles are raising just thinking about it. For me, the trope that never fails to disappoint is the ‘reluctant’ hero being convinced to take up arms and join the fight. You know the scene. Invariably, the hero has hung up their spurs and is living a bucolic existence ‘off the grid’, when a gruff buddy shows up asking them to risk almost certain death by taking on ‘one last job’. Now, dialog is rarely an action film’s greatest strength, and these beefcake actors generally are not cast for their dramatic chops. Which means we get subjected to the same perfunctory and uninteresting scene over and over again: “I told you, I’m out the game”, “Goddamnit, we need you”, “OK, I’ll do it”. These scenes just never work and are never less than painful to watch.

Which up-and-coming action director are you most excited about? In terms of up-and-coming action talent, I’d pick the director Stefano Sollima. I first noticed his work on a couple of TV series: the fantastic Italian crime dramas, Romanzo Criminale and Gomorrah. The way he composed shots really stood out, and it was clear he had a very cinematic eye. He rather reminds me of Michael Mann. He’s now on Hollywood’s radar and got to direct Sicario: Day of the Soldado the other year. And he’s lined up to make a Tom Clancy adaptation with Michael B. Jordan. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.

Have you witnessed the glory that is Wakaliwood—Ugandan DIY action filmmaking—three of which make Letterboxd’s official top ten films by black directors? Which international films do you feel out-match Hollywood? I love the Wakaliwood films I’ve seen. It’s fascinating to watch action films from around the world and see their different styles and flavors. Recently, I’ve been trying to investigate Indian cinema and, in particular, what are known as ‘masala movies’. These mix action, comedy, drama, romance and dance numbers into one big, crazy, entertaining mess. They’re a unique experience. If you want to check one out, I’d suggest Dhoom 2. It’s bananas.

Can you believe there are only two female directors represented in your exploding helicopter list? Do you believe that’s due to systemic or thematic reasons? You have to say it’s systemic. Men have dominated filmmaking for more than a century. Until women have the same opportunities to direct and make films as men, it’s impossible to know what their interest may or may not be in blowing up helicopters. [Will has previously written about the search for “true gender equality in the world of exploding helicopters”.]

To address the elephant in the room, how has Kobe Bryant’s unfortunate death earlier this year changed the way you look at these scenes? Obviously, I appreciate that Kobe Bryant’s death was very shocking and a tragedy for his family and fans. But basketball really is not a thing on these grim shores, so it didn’t register with us unenlightened Brits other than [as] a sad headline about a US sports star.

What was your most anticipated movie event of 2020 before Covid-19 pushed every tentpole back? That’s easy: No Time To Die. I’m a huge Bond fan and as soon as tickets were available, I booked myself in to see it on opening day at an IMAX. But if the Daniel Craig era is synonymous with anything, it’s lengthy delays between films.

Freerunner Sébastien Foucan in the opening scene from ‘Casino Royale’ (2006).

What’s a fond memory you have in theaters related to the Bond franchise? I remember going to see Casino Royale. I was excited, but also nervous to see it. The Brosnan era had ended with the risible Die Another Day: invisible cars, kitesurfing and, worst of all, John Cleese’s awful Q. Since that had come out, we’d had Mission: Impossible, Bourne and the Triple X films, so it wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility that Bond might be finished. Then the first ten minutes of Casino Royale happened. And while that outstanding parkour-inspired chase was terrifically exciting, it also hit me like cinematic Valium. I suddenly realised I could sit back and relax, safe in the knowledge that 007 was going to be just fine.

Are you planning on returning to theaters as soon as you can? When would you feel comfortable? I’m taking a wait-and-see approach. I’d love to see films back on the big screen again, but I want to know more about how cinemas are going to maintain social distancing inside.

Finally, what three Letterboxd accounts should we all be following? Why not give Todd Gaines, Jayson Kennedy or Fred Andersson a follow? If you’re interested in genre films that are a little off the beaten trail, they’ll likely all steer you towards some hidden gems.

#letterboxd #how i letterboxd #letterboxd member #letterboxd community #cine #film lover #exploding helicopter #chopper fireball #action films

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ftauriellas · 5 years ago

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chicago’s very own auriella yates has been spotted on madison avenue driving a porsche 718 spyder , welcome ! your resemblance to jasmine tookes is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty - fifth birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re guileful , but being unadulterated might help you . i think being a virgo explains that . three things that would paint a better picture of you would be the lingering scent of her perfume on crisp white sheets , the soft touch of short satin dresses against her thighs , and the soft glistening of diamonds during golden hour .

hi again , kitty gorls ! it’s jin showing up on your dash for the last time with my sweet peach miss auriella yates . she’s a rendition of a hailey b . chara that i have , so she’s quite the mess , but as lovable as ever ! as you’ve probably figured , i didn’t have much muse for guiliana anymore so i decided it was best to let her go and bring someone else ( also , i’m really sorry about not fulfilling that starter call . please don’t hate me 🥺 ) . my muse is soaring for auriella so be prepared for me to slide into your dm’s for plotting up a storm ! that being said , here’s another long one !

basic information .

FULL NAME : auriella kaia yates .

NICKNAME(S) : auri , mostly .

BIRTHDATE + AGE : september 9th , 1997 + 22 .

ZODIAC : virgo .

HOMETOWN : chicago , il .

GENDER : cis female .

NATIONALITY : american .

ETHNICITY : african american , brazilian , west indian , barbadian , and european .

HEIGHT : 5′5″ .

LABEL(S) : the harlequin , the trust fund baby , the vainglorious , the coquette , and the sovereign .

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN : english and learned basic french in high school .

OCCUPATION : socialite , makeup artist , and businesswoman .

POSITIVES : impulsive , alluring , unadulterated , facetious , and melodious .

NEGATIVES : complaintive , acquisitive , guileful , starry - eyed , and bellicose .

biography .

auriella yates is the sixth child of eight , born to simone and joshua yates in the windy city of chicago , illinois . she has three older brothers ( chance , charles , and clark ) , two older sisters ( adriana and amelia ) , and a younger brother and sister ( calvin and aurora ) . patrick and simone for some reason found joy in naming their sons with c names and their daughters with a names , but it works for them nonetheless . the family could afford such a grandiose lifestyle in chicago thanks to simone’s lifestyle and wellness brand called honey & lemon ( goop , who ? ) that has since expanded from a newsletter to e - commerce , pop - up shops , a magazine , and a podcast . patrick , on the other hands , is a famous vegetarian chef that has launched three cookbooks while also having his own cooking series on the food network along with a cookware partnership at target . together , they own a vegetarian restaurant in downtown chicago called lemongrass .

growing up , since auriella had so many siblings , she never had an uneventful day . their parents strongly believed in their children playing outside instead of being stuck in front of the television all day , so they often took advantage of their large backyard when they lived in the suburbs of chicago . they were the parents who let their rowdy bunch ruin their perfect grass because they wanted to play in the mud . their parents may have afforded them luxuries that others didn’t have and while their parents had been busy people , patrick and simone refused for their children to be raised by nannies . they were heavily involved with everything that their children did , ranging from their pre - school graduations to their high school proms .

auriella had always been a rather outgoing girl throughout high school , and she knew she was cute so she started an instagram page when she was about thirteen or so . originally , her pictures were just cringey dirty mirror pics and photos with her friends , but as she explored the app more and more , she discovered makeup and her love for it ! so , despite the terrible youtube - tutorial makeup that she tried to recreate , auriella never gave up on her ability to do better . as she moved through high school , her makeup skills got better and better , so once she graduated , auriella knew what she wanted to do in life !

she went on to attend make up first in chicago , and obtained certificates in basic makeup i + ii , media makeup , and media: runway , editorial , and fashion . once she was finished with her schooling , auriella went on to grow her brand and get her name out there . she used instagram a majority of the time , and thanks to that and word of mouth , she grew a significant following and went on to have a few celebrities under her belt . thanks to the help of her parents , auriella decided that she wanted to get into the makeup business entirely , and decided to stick her foot into makeup production .

the brand originally only focused on her favorite thing : eyeshadow palettes ! the palettes were originally rather small , consisting of four to six colors as they perfected the formula . she eventually began to receive rave reviews and decided that it was time to expand into everything else : mascaras , lip products , foundations , blushes , highlighters and everything else under the sun . from there , kaia beauty is now being sold in sephora , ulta , and on kaiabeauty.com ! she had the second largest foundation drop ( following fenty beauty because we stan miss rihanna in this house ) .

that being said , running her own business is one that auriella is still getting used to despite it being two years since the launch . she’s thankful for the expansion of her brand and she’s still working out of her townhouse because she hasn’t found the perfect space for a headquarters just yet ! it’s one of her biggest dreams at the moment and she wants to expand kaia beauty into skincare but the end of the year .

personality .

the label she mostly identifies with would definitely be the harlequin . she can be really loud and playful at times , and she can easily get called out for not taking things seriously .

at the same time , though , she can be pretty sexual in her speech . she has no problem with people looking at her differently for doing so . she really lets a lot of things roll off of her shoulders , but she’d be a liar if she said that some things didn’t get to her .

auriella can be really full of herself and simple compliments can typically leads to her going on and on about herself , so please feel free to shut her up at any given time ! much like anyone her age , she can be found prowling around on instagram or twitter and can never go shopping without taking at least three to seven mirror selfies .

headcanons .

she lives in a beautiful townhouse on west fourth street and she’s really proud to say it because she bought it with her own money ! she likes to be different so she really hates range rovers and instead drives an audi q5 ! sounds kinda dumb since she lives in nyc , but she likes it because it gives her freedom to go where she wants when she wants to .

she never leaves the house without a purse and never without a pair of earrings on ( she thinks she’s ugly without them ) . she’s obsessed with all things cartier and she loves to accessorize , but not to much . she keeps scrunchies in her purse at all times , so if you need one just ask !

when it comes to her style , i draw a lot of inspiration from instagram if i’m being honest . she wears a lot of denim shorts , oversized tees , cropped sweaters , bodysuits , chunky sneakers ... honestly , the whole nine yards . for some examples click x , x , x , x , x , and x .

she’s been vegetarian since she was a kid because that’s all her dad ever cooked ! sometimes the scent of meat makes her sick and sometimes she fakes it so people will leave her alone . she’s definitely the one who shows up to the function with her fake burgers , but you know she has a bottle of vodka along with it .

finds joy in doing the little things ? she’s not the greatest at art but really enjoys buying a canvas and trying her best to recreate or create something ! probably gets a lot of art ideas from tik tok ( those kids are seriously talented ) and really likes to do her makeup even when she has no place to go . she loves laying on her couch and doing nothing ( and sometimes she might be kinda naked when she does it ) .

secret .

okay so , auriella’s secret is that an ‘ anonymous ’ source leaked her nudes to the press , but her parents paid off publications from releasing them . that was mostly done because she was about 17 / 18 in those pictures but of course they’re not age on them so there’s that ! the source of course wasn’t that anonymous and it turned out to be an ex ( which is really gross so this won’t be a wanted connection ) , but she’s not ashamed of them by any means !

#wealthyhq:intro

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darling-dontforgetme · 4 years ago

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the whole list

I’m sorry that I took so long, and I’m so boring, but here you go!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Eww, no to both.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

My mom worked at my elementary school, so I was very much a teacher’s pet.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Plastic cups

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Pastel or boho

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

I really want to say tv shows, but I’m awful at finishing them. I still need to watch the last few episodes of Apocalypse. Don’t at me.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Is it weird if I say my cats? It’s weird, I know. They all have different smells, and it’s comforting to be around them when I’m stressed or upset.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Nothing, literally nothing. I was that kid who always had their nose in a book, so you can imagine how awkward I was in p.e.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich or pancakes

12. name of your favorite playlist?

The only playlist I listen to is my own. I listen to a lot of country, some musicals, and a handful of older songs.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Gummy bears

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Handmaid’s Tale

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Why sit when you can lay down? I usually sit with my legs crossed.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

My work pair of tennis shoes

18. ideal weather?

WINTER. All the cold.

19. sleeping position?

On my stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop

21. obsession from childhood?

Books. I read so many books as a kid.

22. role model?

I don’t know. My therapist is pretty cool. Sarah Paulson maybe?

23. strange habits?

I eat soup with a fork. I have to put on my right sock and shoe before I can put on the left. I eat pop tarts upside down.

24. favorite crystal?

I don’t know. Rhodochrosites and amethysts are pretty.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Queen of the Silver Dollar

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Stay inside, lol. I play a lot of animal crossing, try to write sometimes. Read.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Also, stay inside- still playing animal crossing and writing or reading.

28. five songs to describe you?

I honestly have no idea.

29. best way to bond with you?

Just hang out and talk with me. I like to stay home, or go on simple dates. I love, love, love aquariums.

30. places that you find sacred?

Churches, cemeteries

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I’m not very confident in myself, so I tend to stick with t-shirts and shorts or leggings.

32. top five favorite vines?

I do not watch vine.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

Sorry or what’s for dinner

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Those lawyer commercials that come on all of the time

35. average time you fall asleep?

Between 11:30 and 2:30

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Probably something with SpongeBob

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Hear me out, what about no lemon?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

These kids started a metal band, and our administrators thought the student body loved it, so they got to perform a lot.

41. last person you texted?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Some sort of berry

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Shorts and a t-shirt (wasn’t kidding when I said I only wear shorts and a t-shirt)

47. favorite type of cheese?

American

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

@grilledcheeseandguavajelly says "something unique but sweet but with a lot of depth to it, so like a kiwi or a honeydew or a prickly pear.”

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Do no harm, but take no shit

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably something my sister has said or done

51. current stresses?

So much. I lost my job recently, and there's just a lot going on in my life right now.

52. favorite font?

Can I pick people’s handwriting as my favorite font? I know it’s dumb.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Well, I should use more lotion

54. what did you learn from your first job?

That the whole world is going to expect you to know things without you actually ever being taught those things

55. favorite fairy tale?

The Little Mermaid?

56. favorite tradition?

Getting cake for birthdays because I love cake

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Me, myself, and I

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Writing, caring for others. I don’t know.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Don’t fuck up

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t really have any anime knowledge

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“You want to tell her that there are between two hundred and four hundred billion stars in the Milky Way, but when you look up, you could only ever see, like, twenty five hundred of them. You are one of the ones that no one can see. She is one of the ones that’s even visible in the city.”

-The Moment by T.C. Anderson

Guys, this is my favorite book. I highly recommend checking it out.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Alice Macray, Maura Isles, Temperance Brennan, Regina Mills, Callie Torres, Olivia Benson, Rachel Stevens

63. five songs that would play in your club?

She’s a Rainbow, Free To Be You and Me, Defying Gravity, Goodbye Earl, Queen of the Silver Dollar. My club would not be very cool.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz

65. any permanent scars?

I cut the side of my thumb off with a pair of scissors once.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Zinnias, Passion flowers, sunflowers

67. good luck charms?

I don’t know that I have any?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

GRAPE

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am so bad at thinking up answers on the spot. I’m sorry I suck at this.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

Any sort of animal pattern

72. worst subject?

Science

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Peanut butter and chocolate on ritz crackers

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Depends on the type of pain. Headaches- I usually take it pretty soon, but for other things, I tend to wait.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I would assume kindergarten or first grade?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

fries

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Flowers

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

I no longer have a school ID, but that definitely looked better

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies sounds so much better, but I say lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

Console

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Fairy tales

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

I’m going to be single and alone for my entire life

88. your greatest wish?

To fall in love

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My sister

90. luckiest mistake?

I don’t know

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Fairy lights

93. nicknames?

Kat, Kate, Backpack

94. favorite season?

Winter

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr

96. desktop background?

It’s a sunflower drawing

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Maybe 15-20?

98. favorite historical era?

I don’t know

#asks #anon

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littlecountrymouse · 6 years ago

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Space Cowboy podcast episode 19: An interview with Michael Vlamis transcript.

So guys, I got a heap of messages from people saying they’d like this thing transcribed, because not everyone can listen to podcasts. I do this for a living, but also do it occasionally for my dad with Alan Alda’s podcasts because he’s mostly deaf and can’t understand them. So I’ve typed this sucker out for you all on my phone today. It’s not perfect, and I had to go back and edit it for clarity because holy shit, Vlamis says like A LOT. But it’s beautiful, and hopeful, and the biggest take out from it that I cranked the volume on and checked with my work software is that Malex LOVE each other right now, in the present. Screw this ‘loved’ shite, it’s current day, baby. They just gotta learn to talk and be honest and vulnerable with one another for it to work.

Liz: Welcome to Space Cowboys, a Roswell New Mexico podcast here on purefandom.com. I am Liz Prugh, joined by my co-host Meg Bonney.

Meg: Hello, hello.

L: And while each week we normally give you amazing one-of-a-kind theories on the fabulous TV series Roswell New Mexico, the show was on hiatus this week, which was a big bummer because we forgot. But we didn’t forget about you listeners, we’re bringing you a special episode. Meg, give us the details.

M: On this week of Space Cowboys we’ll be talking about hair care and hair products, and - just kidding. So we don’t have a recap, obviously, because there wasn’t a new episode. But we chatted with our favorite midwestern curly haired cowboy, Michael Vlamis!

L: Woowoo!

M: He talks about why he loves his fans so much, and it will melt your heart, and how he maintains those gorgeous curls, and Malex, of course Malex.

L: All things Malex. So make sure you guys keep tuning in, and check out all of our other amazing podcasts on purefandom.com and we’ll catch you next week for a new episode. Enjoy this lovely conversation with the even more lovely Michael Vlamis.

*Space Cowboys intro theme piece.*

L: Hey listeners, welcome back to Space Cowboys. We have a very special episode for you, we have Michael Vlamis, who plays Michael Guerin on Roswell New Mexico, what’s up Michael?

MV: Woo! How you guys doing?

L: Awesome.

MV: I am happy to be talking to you guys, this is fun.

L: It’s a good vibe for all you listeners, we all have really really curly hair, and we’re all from the midwest, so it’s a great space right now.

MV: The curls are very hard to manage, I’m gonna, I’ll be real with you. It took me like twenty-six years of my life to figure out what to do with my hair.

M: We were just talking about how it’s so hard to manage our hair, and it took us so long, and we’re the only ones who know how to deal with it.

MV: Yeah, nobody else knows. Nobody knows the trauma. When I was a kid I wanted straight hair, I wanted one of those bowl cuts, and my mom was like, honey you’re never gonna have that, your hair is not straight, and it was sad but I’ve come to terms with it finally.

L: Yeah, and you rock it now, I love it.

MV: Yeah, thank you. It gets wild in some of those episodes, I see it blowing in the wind and I’m like ‘oh, man, that’s it? There you go.’

M: Giggles

L: It has a life of its own, Meg and I were just saying we’re still living that Herbal Essences life, like we’ve tried the expensive stuff and I dunno, you just, you gotta stick with what works.

M: Mmhm.

MV: Honestly, this might gross some people out, but I hardly ever wash my hair. I hardly ever wash it, the woman who cuts my hair, she says you don’t wash it, your hair gets oily when you’re not a - we’re like turning into a hair campaign now, I love it - when you uh, you wash it too much and it just creates more oil, so if you’re not washing it, then uh … you know. I still use conditioner though. I smell okay, I will say that. I smell okay.

M: Well, there you go, that’s all you need.

MV: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for having my back.

L: We got you. Well, that’s a perfect segue into this next question into your love story on the show. Let’s talk about - Tyler Blackburn’s here - no, I’m just kidding.

MV and M both laugh

MV: Oh, that’s great.

L: So when we recently Carina, of course the amazing showrunner of Roswell New Mexico at your ATX screening in Austin Texas, and she said it was very important to have the Michael and Alex story start in the darkness and come into the light versus the other way around, which is the way we see a lot of LGBTQ relationships on TV. What darkness do you think that both Michael and Alex need to overcome in order for them to be like ‘okay cool, we both deserve to be happy and love each other?’

MV: Oh my gosh, that is such a deep, tough question to answer cause there’s so many things, and when it comes to Michael and Alex a lot of like who Michael Guerin is is a lot of the feelings that I have, and I draw straight from what I’ve had to overcome, and like similar to Michael Guerin, you know, he’s been an outsider his whole life, right? And so has Alex, they both have these secrets, and I think the biggest thing that you have to overcome is accepting who you are, that your secrets don’t always need to be kept so close to the chest and I think it’s the vulnerability, it’s accepting that it’s okay to be vulnerable and you’ll still be liked, you’ll still be accepted. And if people don’t accept you for your vulnerability then you don’t want them in your life, and I think that’s like, that’s the biggest thing, is that you can be honest with yourself and with others. And, I mean obviously the two of us, I mean, we didn’t even tell each other that - we had been separated ten years and we never even told each other that we loved each other when we did, you know? And I think that’s a mistake a lot of people make and I make in my own life, which is like, the things that are hard to say, not saying them, and I think that’s the biggest thing you have to overcome, that it’s okay to be vulnerable.

L: Aww, I love that. Also I’d like to just say that I love both of you, just so that doesn’t become an issue and I didn’t tell you.

MV: Laughs. Okay, thank you.

L: So speaking of Michael and Alex, one of our favorite scenes was that flashback with you playing the guitar in the shed. So I just wanted to know, are we gonna get to maybe see more musical moments, or maybe is that something that you’re gonna try to save for next season, if we knock on wood get next season?

MV: Oh man, you know, I can’t give anything away. I can’t give too much away with that, because - just know that you know, my hand is messed up in the show and that’s why I stopped playing guitar, and a big part of me kinda disappeared that day in the toolshed, like an identity, you know, something that - in that scene that talks about how my entropy changes when I play music and I kind of escape my life and all the chaos going on in my head. So definitely know that it’s something that Michael Guerin is very passionate about, and he would love to get back to, but he’s gotta do something about that hand if that’s ever gonna happen, you know?

L: Mmhmm. So, we’re both super sci fi nerds and you probably, you probably can’t answer this next question, but we recently learned that Guerin is building a spaceship, and it would be so rad -

MV: Yeah!

L: If you guys went to space. Do you see that happening in the show, do you want it to happen in the show?

MV: Um, you know what, I would love to see, to see something like that happen, but I think what’s more interesting than going to space is the choice of going to space, you know? It’s not necessarily being there, but it’s the choice that I’m actually going to leave all these people I love. Because I don’t know, even if I do go to space am I even going to be able to bring everybody, do I wanna bring everybody. It’s kind of like - Michael Guerin, his whole life has been building this spaceship to go back to his family, but like at the same time he’s also running from something. But he’s also running towards something that he believes wholeheartedly in which is like family and his origins and things like that. But I would love to see a moment come where he has to really decide you know, am I going or am I staying, and I think that could be a really powerful scene.

M: I’m team space, I say send everyone to space, let’s just start over on a new planet. I would love to see that.

MV and L laugh.

MV: Yeah, we would probably end up polluting it though, but yeah, you know, it would be nice to get a little fresh start every now and then.

L: Yeah, totally agree. So with so many reboots and reimaginings on TV right now, a lot of fans tend to compare them to the original, or even just there’s kind of backlash surrounding it. What has the fan experience been for you so far in this process?

MV: Oh my God, honestly overwhelming. I honestly didn’t really know what to expect, this is my first TV show, I’ve never had like, I’ve never really had fans before or people that blindly support me because of a character that I portray. I’ve had some success in the past where that’s happened a little bit, but not like this. And all I can say is that I feel so lucky that I get to through acting, what I love doing most in my life, I get to give people an escape and challenge their thoughts and get them to open up, and a lot of these fandoms that are following me, especially like, on instagram is kind of where I spend the most of my time with social media, I think it’s the app that I enjoy the most, it’s so visual you know? And I love making my instagram into, you know, I like that it almost looks like a magazine spread or something of just like, my humor and what not and I enjoy that, I really reveal a lot about myself on Instagram. And I think people appreciate that, so I get like, there’s LGBTQ Vlamis accounts, there’s malex accounts, there’s Michael Vlamis Italia, um, it’s people in Italy, and it’s so wild. And the messages that they send me about how my character and my love story with Alex has opened them up with their life and helped them get out of a dark place is honestly why you do the job. Because sometimes acting can feel like such a selfish career at times, and I think a lot of actors are very selfish you know, like you’re the center of attention, you’re doing this you’re doing that. But when you can actually help the world and it’s bigger than you is when it’s most important. And luckily I’m in a position where that’s happening right now, and I’m not gonna lie, it’s very rewarding.

L: That’s awesome, and I’ve seen a lot of those accounts too, and when we’re just tweeting about the show in general and like, their tag is your name and that’s gotta be pretty wild to see.

MV: Oh it’s so wild, it’s so funny for all my friends too, because now all of a sudden any time they post a story or something, like the fan accounts are reaching out to them, and they’re like, ‘oh, oh, what’s Michael doing right now,’ or they’re reposting pictures of my roommates just because they’re in my life, so now they’re all kind of experiencing a little bit too, which is, it’s been a lot of fun and we’re having a lot of laughs with it and we’re all really grateful about it.

L: That’s awesome. I love that. Okay, so, I don't know if you can answer this but I��m gonna ask it anyway because, I don’t know if you listen to the podcast and you can lie and say you listen to every one religiously, but we talk about a lot of theories, and one of the biggest theories we’ve been talking about recently is the fourth alien. And we think we know who it is, but we wanted to know what was your reaction when you learned about the identity of the fourth alien, and have you really seen anyone guess it correctly?

MV: Oh man. I have seen one person online guess it correctly, I will say that. And it was one of those things where I almost didn’t even want to like interact with the post, because I didn’t want to give anything away whatsoever. But this one specific person did guess it and I don’t think that’s giving it away too much because so many theories are out there that I don’t think anyone’s gonna find this one person that guessed it right, but somebody did. And when I was shooting the show, the fun thing about the show is that I never knew what was gonna happen every episode right? Like they would sit us down and talk to us about major story points and what’s gonna be going on with your character and kind of the necessities of what you need to know in order to give an honest performance. But I didn’t know what was going to happen actually, how we were gonna get to where they said we were going. So every episode when I read it it was a surprise, I was blown away, it was like ‘oh my god, this is happening in this episode? This is crazy, this fun, it’s exciting.’ And when I found out who was gonna be the villain I was a little taken aback because even I didn’t see it, and I think that’s what’s fun about the show, is that of all the theories, everything, I’ve seen one person guess it and that’s how we wanted to do it, right, we didn’t want to give anything away. I think Carina did an amazing job of like, revealing who the fourth alien is and you know, what they stand for and why they’re coming from the place they’re coming from, so I was almost like a viewer on the show, I was just learning kind of as the episodes go what was going down. But once I knew who it was a lot made sense and at the same time I was just taken aback that okay, this was the person who is doing all this, and it was a lot of fun for me to discover as well.

L: Ooh, that’s so fun, we can’t wait.

Mv: Yeah.

L: So music is also a big part of the show and we know what nineties songs that Liz Ortecho plays on the jukebox you know, she’s got her Counting Crows and her Third Eye Blind. What song or songs, or we’ll even make it easier for you, what bands do you think Guerin would pick or that he has on his iPod?

MV: I can tell you what song I am most proud of having in a scene that I’ve done thus far and that was in the flashback episode, that was episode six when you see our first kiss. I remember reading the script and originally in the script, when, because Jeanine and Nathan have a very touching moment in that scene too, right around that scene where I kiss Tyler for the first time, and the song that’s playing in the script is ‘First Day of my Life’ by Bright Eyes, and I’m like a huge Bright Eyes fan, and when I saw the episode cut together they played that kiss over our song as well and honestly that was like one of the coolest moments for me, to see a band that I grew up on, a band that I have just screamed at the top of my lungs in my car or just listening to to find an escape, going through a breakup or something like that, to have that song that means so much to me play over my kiss with someone that I love in the show was a really, really special moment. And I could sit here and say that Michael Guerin is the type of guy who’s just listening to like, old school country or some John Denver or some rock n roll or something like that, but I think at the end of the day Michael Guerin is a big softie. And I think that a song like Bright Eyes not only affects me but affects Michael Guerin, obviously because I bring so much of myself to the character. But definitely, the guy puts on such a tough guy act and he’s like this bad ass sex symbol, but at the end of the day he’s a sad vulnerable boy who just wants love and acceptance.

L: Aww, that’s so sweet!

M: I know, right?

L: I think we actually just talked about that in our last episode about how he wants everyone to thinks he’s such a badass, but he’s just this big old heart on his sleeve guy, and I love that you picked more of a softer, vulnerable song, I like that. Back to the malex relationship, obviously I’m single-minded here, but it’s been so special for the fans and for us to even get to talk about it week to week. But what can you tease about their bond in the rest of the season?

MV: Oh boy. You know, I don’t wanna give anything away, but I can say that everything does come to a head, you know. And I think that even if we do say it or we don’t say it, you really know how we feel about each other, but you know, I don’t know if - I wanna be really careful with my words, because I really don’t want to give anything away. But I will say that in the next few episodes Michael and Alex get to really spend a lot more time together, they kind of bond up as they try to figure out this alien conspiracy, and you see how apparent the love is and I can’t say where we end up at the end of this season, but I will say that everyone will have a very clear idea of how we really feel about one another. Because right now, even though like, I think it was episode nine maybe that Shiri Appleby directed outside the trailer, you know, we tell each other that we love each other for the first time, and now it seems like, okay, we’re getting to know each other almost on a friend level because we never really got to be friends, we were broken up from each other for so long after that traumatic incident and everything happened so quickly, and all of a sudden he was gone off to war and I was doing my own thing, so I can’t say what the resolution is but you definitely get to see each other spend much time together, get to know who we are and set up anything that may be able to happen in the future or by the end of the season amongst the two of us.

L: That’s awesome, we’ll take it.

MV: Yeah!

L: I think it’s *inaudible cross talk for a second.* It’s apparent too, like there’s no doubt that you guys love each other, it’s just all the noise getting in the way a little bit.

MV: Yeah, that’s the problem. I go through this in my everyday life, you can love someone so much but maybe they’re just not right for you and that is a horrible feeling, something so hard to deal with and you never really know. Cause is love enough, or is it personality traits that need to align or family background or taste in different aspects of life, do all those things need to be in line too, or is love enough? And as a hopeless romantic I like to think that love is enough, but I don’t know, as I get older I’m not sure. I think it’s more than love, it’s compatibility, that these two guys up til now have just not been compatible because they haven’t been completely honest with one another. So it’s interesting, it’ll be interesting for you guys to watch too as the characters become more honest with one another where they end up.

L: Well, we’re so excited and we’re so grateful that you took the time to chat with us today, this was so much fun.

MV: Yeah, it was a blast. I appreciate you guys wanting to chat.

L: Don’t forget, listeners, important things to note from the discussion today. If you have curly hair wash it every other day or every few days.

MV: Laughs. Yep. Yep.

L: No matter what happens Malex still loves each other and let’s just accept what happens, whatever does, for the rest of the season. The fandom has just been so positive and so awesome thus far. It’s been great for us so it has to be even better for you. We’re just waiting for that season two renewal.

M: Mmhmm.

MV: Woo! I’m waiting too, I’m hoping they’ll let us know in the next uh - they gotta let us know by May, right? We got upfronts in May, we have to know by May.

L: That’s what we’re hoping too.

MV: That’s what I’m hoping too. And the show I heard goes on Netflix May first, I think Carina tweeted that out. So I think once that happens that’ll get a lot more people knowing about the show and watching us, and that’ll help the decision by the studio as well.

M: Oh yeah.

L: Woowoo!

MV: Yeah!

L: Well, thanks again for tuning in, and cheers to you! Thanks for joining us.

M: Yeah, thank you.

MV: Thanks, Meg, thanks Liz, I appreciate the support and good luck with everything. So I’ll be cheersing to you if I found out we got that season two.

M: Heck yeah.

L: Awesome, hopefully by the time you guys get season two, my second is due on May twenty seventh, that’s my due date, so Meg has been drinking without me -

MV: Oh!

L: And I’m like, ready to play that drinking game.

MV: Yes! Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?

L: No, we’re gonna be surprised again, so.

MV: Wow, that’s fun!

M: I was just gonna say we could name it after Roswell if we get that pickup, so CW, if you’re listening, you can name Liz’s baby, it’s fine.

L: Yeah, Pedowitz, I’ll name the baby after you if you renew Roswell.

M: Have little Marky.

MV: Yes, I love that. Well, congratulations.

L: Thanks so much.

#roswell new mexico #malex #michael vlamis #interview #space cowboy podcast

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cuthian · 4 years ago

Text

Starting Over Chapter Six

Hi guys!

Sorry for the delay on this one :) This is another Asgard chapter, so check the end notes again if you prefer not to read about Becca and Thor.

Love, Annaelle

Chapter Six

PEPPER POTTS IS PREGNANT AND BREAKS TWITTER WITH ADORABLE PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT

MANHATTAN, NEW YORK — Pepper Potts, C.E.O. of Stark Industries and longtime girlfriend of Tony Stark and Col. James Rhodes, is having a baby, and like everything else she has done since the news of her polyamorous relationship with Rhodes and Stark, she is doing so on her own terms.

[...]Potts, 42, is pregnant with her first child, and used the unconventional, but adorable video she dropped on her official Twitter account yesterday morning to confirm the rumors of a pregnancy that have been floating around for the past few days.

[WATCH HERE: PEPPER POTTS SURPRISES TONY STARK, JAMES RHODES AND STEVE ROGERS WITH ADORABLE PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT.]

She followed her video announcement with a tweet stating, “I have seen many children born into homes with two parents, who end up arguing, fighting, and divorcing. The person this affects the most is the child. I don’t think our situation, our relationship, will be detrimental to our child because it will ensure that our child will be loved. [...] It takes a village, and we have a big, loving, crazy village. I cannot wait to begin this next part of our lives together.”

The announcement was retweeted by Col. Rhodes and Tony Stark within seconds—we cover the adorable and surprisingly eloquent reaction of the two fathers-to-be here in this podcast—as well as by Captain Rogers almost immediately after that, all with happy and congratulatory messages. Captain Rogers’ tweet hilariously promises he will be the best big brother to the Rhodes-Stark-Potts baby in the history of big brothers.

Potts replied to Rogers’ tweet: “Steve will definitely be the best big brother to our baby. He’s got plenty of practice as #BigBrotherOfAmerica.”

[...]Fans flooded the video with congratulatory messages, and the hashtag #IronBaby has been trending for forty-eight hours so far, and promises to hold for at least another few days.

—Clara Newitski, “Pepper Potts confirms pregnancy”, E!News Online, 30 November, 2015

————————

TRAINING FIELDS, IDAVOLL, ASGARD

NOVEMBER 30TH, 2015 – 8:57AM (EARTH UCT+1)

BECCA

She hit the ground with a dull thud, the fall knocking the wind clean from her lungs, leaving her gasping for breath for a long couple of minutes. She laughed breathlessly when Sif appeared in her field of vision, grinning fiercely as she offered Becca a hand to help her up. “You did well,” Sif told her approvingly. “Not bad for a human. You held out much longer than I expected.”

“I got good trainers,” Becca chuckled, allowing the other woman to help her up.

She and Natasha had been training together for years at this point, and Thor had made a point of it to ensure that all of the Avengers learned how to fight opponents physically stronger—had made it a point to make sure they knew how to win and survive a fight against an opponent physically much stronger than they were.

“You must’ve,” Sif remarked, patting Becca’s shoulder. “I see our prince’s influence in the way you dodge, sometimes.”

Becca smiled lightly. “He’s been diligent about teaching us to win against more powerful opponents.”

“I cannot have my favorite mortal friends perish before their time,” Thor boomed as he came up behind them, slinging an arm around her. “You least of all.” She leaned into him when he pressed a kiss to her temple, relaxing against him.

She’d not been alone with him since before the disastrous feast, had barely even been in the same room as him, and she’d missed it—she’d missed him.

Sif only grinned in response before she curtsied—exceptionally sarcastically, somehow—and turned to beat up some hapless Aesir warriors. Becca smirked before she turned in Thor’s arms, slipping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. She’d been up since dawn, had joined Sif in training not long after, and they’d been at it for hours.

She was well-trained, and in good condition, but she was only human.

She was tired, and Thor was comfortable and safe.

“Hello Krúttið mitt,” he rumbled, smoothing his hand down her back. “You’ve been busy.”

“Well, I had to keep myself busy with all kinds of official, diplomatic things,” she told him, seriously leaning back to raise an eyebrow at him. “My boyfriend seems to have other, more important matters on his mind than entertaining little old me.”

Thor frowned faux-seriously, shaking his head sadly. “Ah, your man must be a fool, to leave a woman beautiful and ferocious as you all by herself.” He grinned rakishly. “Anyone could pass by and just… snap you up.”

He punctuated the last word with a peck to her lips, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re an idiot,” she told him, but she didn’t resist when he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her again.

“Perhaps, but you… You,” Thor muttered against her lips, her cheeks cupped in his large palms, “you are a dangerous woman.” He slipped one hand down, trailing down from the back of her neck to the small of her back, pulling her flush against him, ignoring the wolf-whistles that his friends sent their way. “And an irresistible one.”

Becca grinned against his lips and tugged on his hair a little. “And don’t you forget it.”

“I could never,” Thor chuckled.

“Odinson!” Fandral roared from somewhere on the training fields, effectively shattering their little peaceful bubble. “Stop canoodling with your mortal and come help me! I cannot lose to Sif again.”

Becca laughed when Sif cackled, and Thor shook his head in faux-dismay.

“Go,” she told him. “I think I’ll watch you, for a change. Go beat some unsuspecting morons for me.”

Thor chuckled and nodded. “Their blood shall be spilled in your honor then, Krúttið mitt,” he hummed. “And then I shall sweep you off your feet, and carry you to my chambers as my prize. My very own spoils of war. If you let me.” He hugged her close as she spoke, and she made note of the slightly possessive note to his words—it was so very rare that he admitted to wanting something different, or something potentially… more, she supposed, than what they already shared, that she cherished each time that he did.

“And after, I shall return you to your chambers,” Thor muttered, pressing a light kiss to her lips. “Once I have properly and thoroughly ravished you. I must confess I am most curious about your abode… I fear I’ll have to inspect whether it’s worthy of housing you, elskan min.”

“Oh?” Becca raised an eyebrow. “And should you find it lacking?”

“Well,” Thor rumbled, drawing her close one more time to press a smacking kiss to her lips. “I suppose I’ll have no choice but to house you in my chambers. Nothing less than the absolute best will do.”

She giggled against his lips, allowing herself one more moment before she pushed him back, keeping him at arm’s length when he pouted. “Go beat up your friends, hotshot,” she told him with a warm smile. “I’ll be right here when you’re done, okay?”

“As you wish,” Thor hummed, lifting the hand she’d pressed to his chest up to his lips to press a soft kiss to her palm, before he turned and joined his friends.

She remained where she was for a few moments, grinning at Thor’s back when he collided with his friends. She watched as he threw a casual arm around Fandral’s shoulder, as she’d seen him do dozens of times with Steve, watched the way they all laughed and teased each other, and felt something loosen in her chest.

Even on his best days on Earth, there was a kind of heaviness to him that did not dissipate.

It had now.

Seeing him here on Asgard was… it was almost unreal. He was lighter here, flourishing in a way she’d never seen him flourish before—in a way he probably couldn’t flourish on Earth—and she loved seeing him happy and carefree like this.

She tried not to think about what that meant for their future, though.

She made her way to the plump, surprisingly comfortable benches to the side of the training fields, sitting down with a sigh of relief. Her body ached a little—in the good way, the way it ached when she’d done an intense workout and stuck with it until the end—and it felt good to let her muscles relax for a short time. She’d get up to do some more stretches soon, she promised herself, but she’d take a five-minute breather first.

She watched, as she’d told Thor she would, allowing herself to study the way he fought, now that he didn’t have to hold back. He was ferocious, fighting with a kind of elegant brutality that was both breathtaking and frightening—she loved him, more than anyone else she’d ever been with, but she forgot… she forgot how different they were sometimes.

It wasn’t a bad thing, certainly, but… it was a little scary.

“Milady?”

Abruptly startled from her thoughts, Becca looked up to find two of the—frankly absurd amount of—maids Odin had assigned to her, Unnr and Þrúðr, standing before her, both looking profoundly uncomfortable.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, squinting up at the two women.

Unnr shook her head shakily. “No, milady. We just—” she and Þrúðr exchanged a fleeting glance, “—we were wondering if you are ready to return to your chambers?”

Becca blinked. “Oh,” she said, looking between the two maids. “I… I was actually planning on staying for a while? Until Thor’s done, at least.” She didn’t miss the way the two exchanged another glance, and huffed impatiently. She’d liked Asgard fine, so far, and no one had been openly hostile—barring the woman she’d had to shoot for threatening Thor—but things were different, here.

The change from Earth to Asgard had thrown off her sense of time too.

It almost felt like jet lag, but worse too.

It wasn’t bad enough to incapacitate her, or make her want to stay in bed for a few days until her body had fully adjusted to the new time zone, but it was, at moments, so damned uncomfortable.

The minor headache she’d managed to ignore all day came roaring back, and she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.

“Ladies,” she sighed. “Would one of you please tell me what’s wrong?”

Both girls blinked at her, before Þrúðr spoke. “The training grounds are typically… they’re typically off limits for maidens, milady. I believe exceptions were made because the Prince demanded it be so, but usually…” She shook her head. “It’s not proper for unwed women to be here.”

Becca swallowed thickly and blinked again, trying to digest… all of that.

“Sif’s here,” she pointed out dumbly, gesturing towards where her boyfriend was doing his best to electrocute his friends while cackling gleefully.

She shook her head.

She loved that weirdo.

“Yes,” Unnr conceded. “But Lady Sif is… well… concessions were made. She is of highborn Aesir nobility. Before Prince Thor was betrothed to Prince Loki, there were many talks of an alliance forged by marriage with her and the Prince. I believe the King allowed certain… liberties when he abruptly broke off such negotiations with her family.”

“That’s bullshit,” Becca blurted loudly, wincing a little when both maids startled.

Before either of them could speak, though, someone interrupted from behind them. “Our traditions are bullshit to you now, Lady Rebecca? I’m sure my son will appreciate hearing you express such blatant disrespect towards our customs.”

She stiffened, turning slowly to face her boyfriend’s father—his King—for the first time.

She had been introduced to him at the feast, of course, but that had been with Thor holding her hand, and about two hundred people surrounding them. She was vaguely aware that her two maids dropped into a deep curtsy the moment they realized who had spoken, and that they all likely expected her to do the same, but… she remained sitting, only moving to incline her head towards the man lightly.

She was not, after all, one of his subjects.

She was a guest of his son, and he allowed her in his home, so she owed him at least a modicum of respect, but she did not owe him allegiance or deference.

“Your majesty,” she offered. “I meant not to offend. I’m sure you understand that not allowing certain… parts of your citizenry to learn how to defend themselves seems… peculiar to someone looking in from the outside.”

Odin smiled tightly. “I suppose from your point of view, it certainly must seem so. As long as you remember that you are, of course, on the outside, glancing in.”

Becca blinked at that, taken aback by the barely veiled insult.

“Ladies,” Odin addressed Unnr and Þrúðr, “I’m sure you have duties to attend to.”

The two scampered off before the King had even finished speaking, and Becca remained were she was, stiff and decidedly uncomfortable, as her boyfriend’s father took a seat on the stone bench beside her.

She was tempted to get up and rejoin Thor and his friends, to let this arrogant old man look the fool, but… She sighed and shook her head.

He was Thor’s father, after all.

Insufferable bastard or not, she’d promised herself and Thor she wouldn’t let him get the best of her.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” she offered again when he remained silent.

She wasn’t sure why the man was here, why he insisted on sitting with her when he clearly did not approve of her presence at all. She expected he would try to frighten her away from Thor, or that he would insist on tormenting her about all of Thor’s past lovers—Loki most of all.

“Worry not,” Odin finally said. “Human lives are but fleeting, I should not expect such underdeveloped minds to understand the delicate intricacies of our society.”

“Excuse me?” Becca spit, rearing back as though he’d slapped her. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I am Odin. King of Asgard.” He turned to look at her slowly, expression frustratingly inscrutable. “Protector of the Nine Realms.”

“Yeah,” Becca snorted. “Right. Nine Realms. Including Earth. We noticed the protection. Thanks, by the way, for keeping our planet from slowly heating up and destroying itself. Or for stepping in during any of the wars, famines, epidemics, or disasters over the past thousand years.” She shook her head again. “Thor tells me you haven’t even looked at Midgard in centuries. Don’t you dare call yourself our protector when we’ve clearly been doing fine on our own.”

Odin merely chuckled, and shook his head lightly. “You humans… threatened by suffering in threefold; by your own body, doomed to decay; and the world you so cherish, that rages against you with overwhelming and merciless destruction… and then from your relations with one another. I’ve lived thousands of years, child, but I’ve never met another race quite so talented at self-destruction.” He looked down at her and added, “Your kind’s never taken well to our interference. While I have several agents established on Midgard, keeping me apprised of… relevant information, we generally let you be.”

Becca snorted. “For a man who so readily proclaims our brains underdeveloped, you sure seem to like some of our people’s works.” When he raised an eyebrow, she shook her head, “I know Freud when I hear it, your Majesty, however much you try to dress it up with fancier words.”

Odin smirked. “Ah, you are clever, at least. I suppose my son has some taste after all.”

He shook his head again, as though he’d grown weary of the conversation, and said, “Surely you understand, though, that my son will not be able to keep you. Certain classes of beings cannot mix—certainly not for any significant length of time.”

“With all due respect,” she replied coldly. “I hardly think we’re a different class of being. Having access to seiðr readily doesn’t make you more evolved—even certain humans can harness its power, even if they are far rarer than they are to your people. Honestly though, I can’t say that I care overly much for what you think. I care what Thor thinks, and he’s made the way he feels about me very clear.”

Odin eyed her critically. “My son has had many lovers before. What makes you think you’re different than those he dallied with to distract himself from Loki’s disinterest?”

“I trust him when he tells me I am,” Becca told him coolly, crossing her arms over her chest, and though she was fuming, she carefully kept her expression blank, because she refused to let him see that he was getting to her—that his words rattled her even the littlest bit.

Odin laughed humorlessly. “I’m sure he told the others such things as well. Like he did Loki. Undying devotion did not last quite so long, did it?”

She knew what he was trying to do, and she was sure if he had done so earlier on in their relationship, she might actually have believed him. She might have let this old, sad, heartbroken man get under her skin and ruin what she and Thor had managed to build, but she refused to let him now.

They’d worked too hard to get where they were today.

“You know, I’m a little sad for you,” she said, slowly. “I’m sad you’re so twisted up inside that it makes you want to make Thor just as miserable as you are.” She looked him right in the eye and shook her head. “I love your son. I really, really love him, and I don’t care that I’m mortal and he’s not. I don’t care that you don’t like me. I care that I make him happy. I know I’m not Loki, and I don’t need him to love me like he loved Loki.”

She shrugged and offered a soft smile. “I just need him to love me like he loves me.”

Odin chuckled derisively. “Such sentimentality. I should expect no less from a human.”

“Father,” Thor cut in, and Becca barely resisted the urge to jump at his sudden appearance. Thor settled himself on the bench beside her, pressing closer than was, perhaps, strictly appropriate in front of his father, but she didn’t protest, allowing the press of his torso against her side to soothe her.

“My son,” Odin said calmly. “I sought only to properly meet your frù.”

“Do not talk of her as such,” Thor hissed viciously, drawing Becca against him firmly, surprising her with the venom in his tone. “She is more than that.”

“Is she?” Odin chuckled. “Is that what your inn mátki munr signified? Will you insist on making her your kvàn, my son? Call her your brúðr? Your kona?”

“If I do,” Thor spat, “It will be because she chooses to be.”

“And she’s right here,” Becca said, elbowing Thor in the gut when he squeezed her too tightly.

Thor looked at her, eyes wide and somewhat crazed, and Becca made the executive decision that remaining anywhere near Thor’s father wasn’t going to end well for either of them. “Thank you for coming all this way to meet me, your Majesty,” she offered, making sure to paste the most insincere smile she could manage on her face, “I think we both rather learned a lot today.”

She looked to Thor and squeezed her fingers around his. “We’re leaving. You promised me you’d show me more of Asgard.”

“So I did,” Thor nodded, keeping his blue eyes intent on hers. “There is much to see still.”

He stood smoothly, offering Becca a hand as soon as he was standing, and pulled her to her feet as well. “We will take our leave, Father,” he said. “It was a pleasure, as always.”

With that, Thor began moving, pulling her along with him.

She didn’t look back.

————————

[PEPPER POTTS PREGNANCY ANNOUNCEMENT VIDEO!]

There is a short moment before the image settles that shows a cozy, comfortable living room, before the image stills and zooms in on two men sitting at the kitchen island, heads bent together over a laptop.

“I don’t see the big deal, Capsicle. It’s not like this is news, even to you,” Tony Stark, looking almost like had only just rolled out of bed, shrugs, leaning back in his chair and sipping from the large mug in the shape of the Hulk’s fist.

“This isn’t a joking matter, Tony,” Steve Rogers, dressed in a tight white t-shirt and light sweatpants insists, gesturing towards the screen with a frown. “They moved to L.A. of all places. It’s a fucking outrage.”

“But it’s just baseball,” Stark mumbles, looking entirely nonplussed, before he offers, “Would it help if I bought them?”

Rogers blinks in astonishment before he groans and puts his head in his hands. “God, don’t tempt me, Tony. I don’t even need you to buy them for me—I could do it.”

Stark laughs and pats his hand on Rogers’ head while he shakes his head, using his free hand to draw the laptop closer to himself. “Shhh,” he tells Rogers, “let me live out my sugar daddy fantasies through you, Steven.”

Rogers looks appropriately scandalized while Stark cackles and types madly on the laptop.

Rhodes walks in, stops short, takes in the scene and shakes his head. “Whatever it is, Tony, no.”

Stark cackles louder. “Tony, yes!” Both Rogers and Rhodes sigh and share a commiserating eye roll before embarking on a journey to the refrigerator together.

The camera shakes a little when the person behind it moves, moving closer to the men in the kitchen. “Tony,” Pepper Potts says from behind the camera. “What have you done now?”

Stark looks up and smirks gleefully. “I’ve just bought our baby a baseball team.”

Rogers and Rhodes emerge from the depths of the fridge with identical, bewildered expressions, and Potts is quiet for a moment before she chokes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know Steve was our baby now?”

Rogers, who has once again rounded the kitchen island to peer at the laptop, exclaims gleefully, “Neither did I, but you’re not getting rid of me now. You bought me the Dodgers?”

The camera shakes when Potts laughs. When it settles again, the three men are now crowded around the laptop, talking over one another excitedly.

“Well,” Potts interrupts, moving closer to the men. “I suppose we can keep you. As long as you learn to share with your future baby sibling.”

The camera swings up to catch a clear look of the three men’s astonished expressions before the image cuts out.

—Clara Newitski, “Pepper Potts confirms pregnancy” CONTINUED, E!News Online, 30 November, 2015

————————

FENSALIR, VALASKIALF, ASGARD

NOVEMBER 30TH, 2015 – 12:09 PM (EARTH UCT+1)

THOR

He was still fuming at the sheer nerve of his father, even hours later.

He had taken Rebecca to see the city and had shown her his favorite little corners. He had taken her to the tavern he had taken Steven to as well, had taken her to visit Aase and the market, and had watched her become struck with awe when he had taken her to the libraries that held the collected works of the Nine.

It had soothed his ire some, to see Asgard anew through her eyes.

Becca’s wonder at seeing his home was contagious, and Thor had relaxed some. He had known, of course, that his father would attempt to sow discord in his relationship, that he would seek out Rebecca and try to pinpoint her insecurities, that he would use those insecurities against her to destroy them, but he had not expected his father to be quite so open about his disapproval.

He’d certainly not expected him to corner Rebecca on the training fields.

“Hey.”

Rebecca’s voice and her insistent tug on his hand drew him from his thoughts.

“Stop it,” she told him sternly when he looked at her. “Don’t let him win. I didn’t believe a word he said about us, Thor.” She turned towards him fully, and Thor relaxed a little when she tiptoed to slip her arms around him. “I love you. I trust you. You know that. I didn’t let him get under my skin.” She smiled and pecked his lips. “Don’t let him get under yours.”

“You’re right,” Thor sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. “You’re right. I’ll not let him spoil our time together any longer.”

“Good,” Becca grinned, leaning in to press another kiss to his lips. “Now show me these famed gardens of yours. Steve’s told me they’re absolutely gorgeous.” She stepped back a little and held out her hand to him, raising an expectant eyebrow.

Thor smiled and took her hand in his, leading Rebecca back towards the palace. He looked forward to showing her the Gardens; they’d proven a refuge for him and Loki many times when they’d been children, and he knew it’d brought Steven comfort too, when he had been here.

He hoped that Rebecca, too, would find some solace there.

He recognized he had not been able to be the host he wanted to be due to the absurd itinerary his father had foisted upon them when they arrived. Rebecca had spent far more time with his friends and the handmaidens—whom she had thankfully taken a liking to, even the maids she had initially bemoaned—than she had with him, due to his father’s insistence on adhering to tradition.

Tradition that he had never once been forced to adhere to before.

He’d originally planned for their first few days here to be far less strenuous and far more intimate.

Heimdall had warned him, when he began planning this trip, that journeying through the Bifrost would likely be exceptionally taxing for a human; even Steven, with an enhanced physiology that brought him closer to Aesir than to human, had felt the effects of it for a few hours.

He had not kept as close an eye on Becca as he had planned to, and he hoped she wasn’t feeling any ill effects of the travel any longer.

“Are you doing alright?” he asked concernedly, pulling her to a slow stop by lightly tugging on her hand. “I’ve not thought to ask how the Bifrost affected you, I apologize.” He imagined an inter-dimensional jet-lag on top of his father being… well, himself must’ve been exhausting.

“I’m fine,” Becca told him with a wry quirk of her lips. “Although, Asgardian cuisine doesn’t seem to agree with me yet.” She smiled a little. “I guess I just have to get used to it, but I’m not very hungry. I’m so bloated it’s not even funny anymore, but I’m not feeling sick or anything bad. Little tired, maybe, but... ” She squeezed her fingers around his. “Jet-lag hasn’t been so bad yet.”

“If you’re sure,” Thor said doubtfully, running his fingers across her cheek.

“Of course I am,” she shook her head. “Come on, show me the Gardens.”

He nodded silently and resumed their trek back to the palace; they would not have to enter the palace, thankfully, and risk running into his father or any of the servants. Loki had once shown him a secret path into their mother’s gardens, where they could slip past the guards unnoticed and hide in the lush, green garden for hours without being found.

He fully intended on doing so with Rebecca as well.

Spending their afternoon basking in sunlight, snacking on the morsels Thor had had asked the maids to prepare, and relaxing together, as they hadn’t been allowed since their arrival on Asgard, sounded like the best idea he’d had in months.

“So, your father had these gardens created for your mother?” Becca asked, slowing down a little so they walked side by side again, swinging their arms between them.

“Yes,” Thor nodded. “She missed the woods of her homeland and her father’s gardens, and my father sought to ensure her happiness by recreating them as precisely as he could.” He wondered where the man his mother had fallen in love with, once, had gone.

He wondered if love lost turned all hearts bitter, or if his father was an exception. Then again, his father had been a bitter man for longer than his mother had been gone.

He wondered, briefly, if he would lose himself to bitterness and anger too, should he lose Rebecca as well.

Losing Loki and his mother had very well had the potential to turn his heart to stone, and he believed it may have, had he not had his mortal friends to lean on in his time of need. The Warriors Three and Lady Sif were worthy friends indeed, but they had not understood the depth of his despair following Loki’s death. It might have been more forgivable if they had not so clearly mourned the loss of his mother while barely paying lip service to Loki’s memory, and only then on Thor’s behalf.

Having Becca and Steven and the other Avengers to turn to had saved him, in a way.

“That’s sweet, I guess,” Becca nodded, drawing him from his thoughts.

He looked to her and smiled lightly, squeezing his fingers around hers. “I suppose it was, at the time,” he shrugged. They’d reached the palace walls by now, and Thor slowed their pace down to a casual stroll, gently nudging Becca’s attention towards the walls that surrounded the palace.

“Do you see the etchings that cover the walls?” he asked, slowing to a stop so Becca could reach out to touch her fingertips to the faint lines.

“What are they?” she asked, looking back at him quizzically.

“Loki insisted they are the remnants of the history of our people that our forefathers would rather have seen forgotten. If you look closely, you can almost see the figures that tell our tales.”

Becca was silent, and Thor allowed himself to remember the awe that had filled him the first time he had seen the lines on the walls form a recognizable pattern. “It’s beautiful,” Becca said quietly, pulling her hand away from the wall and turning back to him.

“It’s also our way into the gardens,” Thor confided in her, pressing close to her and taking her hand in his. He guided her hand up, palm up, to the wall, letting it hover above the stones for a long moment.

“Say the words with me,” he whispered. “Opnað grindrinn.”

“Opnað grindrinn,” Becca repeated dutifully, and Thor relished in how easily her lips formed around the still largely unfamiliar words—she had insisted on beginning to learn his native tongue as soon as their relationship became more serious—and smiled when she gasped delightedly when the solid wall that stood before them shimmered and then disappeared, revealing a veritable oasis of greenery and flowers.

“Oh wow,” Becca breathed, and Thor couldn’t help but smile. It was an awe-inspiring sight, even for him. “Is it a gate?” she asked as she walked further into the gardens, “or is it an illusion?”

Thor hummed and considered his words before he spoke, watching as Becca moved deeper into the gardens, fingers idly trailing past flowers and deep green leaves. “It is somewhat of both,” he finally said, allowing his gaze to stray to the bright red flower that bloomed only through his mother’s lingering seiðr. “Loki wove the spell centuries ago, weaving it so only those we chose to share it with would be able to enter, and only accompanied by one of us. It was an ideal hideout.”

He expected Becca to laugh at that, to tease him about hiding out in the secluded gardens with Loki so they could make out like the careless, lovestruck boys they had been at the time, but she remained quiet.

He looked up to find her standing only a few feet away, rather a lot paler than she had been minutes ago.

“Becca?” he asked. “Are you alright?”

“I–” She shook her head and swayed where she stood. Thor moved before he had even consciously thought of doing so, crossing the distance between them in a few strides, grasping her forearms tightly. “I’m so hot.”

Now that he stood so much closer, he could see sweat beading on her forehead, and see just how alarmingly pale she’d suddenly become. “Becca, what’s going on?” he demanded urgently, concern flooding his entire being when she didn’t respond to his query immediately, eyes going a little unfocused before she muttered,

“I need to sit, I’m—l’m going to be sick.”

“Of course,” Thor floundered, trying to figure out how to help her sit without having her keel over, when her eyes rolled back in her head and she went limp in his grasp.

“Becca!” he shouted in shock, barely moving fast enough to catch her as she crumpled, knees buckling as he sank down to the ground, her limp form cradled in his arms. She didn’t respond, nor did she wake when he patted her cheek, despite him using more strength than he usually did with her.

No reaction, but at the very least she was still breathing, and her pulse sounded strong and steady to his enhanced ears.

He looked up desperately, shaking himself forcefully. “Alright,” he nodded to himself, lifting her up in his arms and making for the palace.

Eir would know what to do.

————————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)

Chances:

(1)

Starting Over:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

Or read it HERE on AO3 :D Find the next chapter HERE on Tumblr :)

#IHWSBY sequel #starting over #stucky #Stucky fanfic #Steve Rogers #thor #Rebecca barnes #Avengers family #my writing #Lisa writes

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current-mcr-news · 6 years ago

Text

Casual Interactions #5: Full Transcription

John: Alright Frank, so what did you bring us?

Frank: Okay so, I was just out in Chicago, and I was there for a couple weeks. And I came across some things. One of which is my favorite. I'll start with the good first.

J: Yeah.

F: So the good is, every time I see a root beer that I've never tried- Here's the thing, I'm not a huge root beer fan.

J: Yeah, I don't know many people who are.

F: I can have one root beer and then I'm like, "Okay, that's enough root beer."

J: Yeah.

F: Maybe even half. But if I see one that I've never tried before, I have to, something about it, I just have to try it.

J: Yeah.

F: So, one time I came across the one root beer and it's called WBC, and it's made by, like there's a brewery out there called Goose Island.

J: Oh yeah, I know Goose Island.

F: So Goose Island makes this root beer, and it is by far, my favorite root beer I've ever had. And it's Chicago style, but you could only get it in the Midwest, and I've tried to look, you know, on Amazon and all that stuff, and it's like fucking astronomical on Amazon. But when I was out in Chicago, I found that they had it at Costco, so I bought like, fucking 14 cases of it. So I brought that.

J: You brought it across state lines?

F: I smuggled it.

J: Calling it, you're bootlegging.

F: You know, hey, what are you gonna do? I tried to go the legal route with it, but I don't think it's illegal to just buy something and move it.

J: Right.

F: Anyway, so that's the best. Now, the other side of the spectrum is a drink that I believe is what you would call a Chicago staple.

J: And that's what's in the shot glass.

F: And that's what's in the shot glass. This is Jeppson's Malört and Malört is a wormwood derivative.

Shaun: That's a terrible word.

J: Oh, something they put they put in absinthe?

F: Yeah, but it's not in that, like it's not gonna make you like, it doesn't make you crazy.

J: Okay.

F: It's more, from what I've been told, like a digestive, and almost like a Fernet and stuff like that. But it is by far, one of the most foul things I have ever tasted, and I feel like it's something that you can't describe until you've had it.

J: Alright, so let's do it.

F: Yeah, so here's to those that wish us well, and all the rest can drink some more Malört. Cheers. 3 2 1, go.

S: Oh! Fuck you, man!

F: Yeah.

J: Oh my god, that's- it's like a-

F: So here's the thing, wait wait wait. The thing about it, it's not so much the original-

J: It's like a licorice Listerine!

F: It's not the original shot that gets you, it's the after taste that lingers on your tongue.

J: My heart's on fire!

F: It's like if a grapefruit took a shit out of its- and the shit tasted like earwax, is just what it would be like in liquid form, would taste like Malört.

J: Welcome to Casual Interactions podcast. We're dying here. Can we drink the root beer now?

F: Yes, crack the root beers. That'll help.

J: Jesus.

F: This is by far my favorite root beer.

J: Oh my god, thank god. It was delicious. I think anything would be delicious though, after the Malört.

F: Yeah. Kinda great though, right?

J: I can still feel it on my tonsils.

F: Yeah, it doesn't really go away. It's got that weird sour, yeah I know. Maybe we should've done that at the end of this. We're so sorry!

J: It's okay. So we're gonna pick up from last week. We were talking about writing processes. We talked about what got us- this is gonna be a hard one, man. We talked about what got us into writing, but made us believe that we could do it too, and chase our dreams. You know, one: we didn't actually hear from Shaun a lot last week, because we ran over time, so that's, I wanna lead off with Shaun right now. I wanna talk about writing.

S: You want me to use that? I'll use it.

F: The coffee might help you.

J: But see, that's a weird mix. I mean, coffee, Malört-

F: Yeah well, here's the thing. I'm sorry, the Malört kinda clings to the back of your tongue like a demon.

S: Yeah it's like stuck in your teeth.

F: It doesn't go away.

J: I can't get it off the back of my tongue.

F: Yeah, it's still there. The more you drink it, the more you can kinda laugh as other people try it, because it doesn't affect you as bad.

S: I don't know if we should keep drinking it.

F: No, you don't wanna have anymore of it.

J: No!

F: It's definitely, that's a one and done.

S: My stomach is weird now.

F: Yeah. Yeah.

S: It does weird things to your-

F: Everything makes weird to you.

J: You know what's-

F: I just said "everything makes weird to you."

S: There you go. That's the title of this episode.

F: That's the Malört. Everything makes weird to you!

J: Yeah, I had a giant cup of coffee before, I did a shot of Malört, I'm drinking a root beer. The ride home is gonna be terrible.

F: Yeah.

J: You live, you learn. I feel like I lost a bet.

F: Hey, well here's the thing. Yeah, it tastes like you lost a bet. It tastes a lot like the writing process, to be honest because-

J: Bring it back, Frank.

F: You know, that's the thing, it does. Because like, you know, I don't know about you guys, but at least for me like, the artistic process and all that stuff is, I know that it affects me in such a severe way.

J: Right.

F: Like, when I write a song and I feel like things are going well, and I'm able to express myself in a way that I'm like, "Oh shit, I fucking nailed that one!" Like, oh wow, that's a good song, or I wrote a really good line. You know like, sometimes you'll hear stuff in your head, and if you nail it- like if it comes out through your hands the way you heard it in your head, or even better, you're like, "Motherfuck," and you can ride that high.

J: Oh that's a huge high.

F: For a long time. And sometimes, when you're trying trying trying to write something, or you're trying to recreate that thing that you heard in your head, or you lost that thing in your head, because you fell asleep. You know, like you heard it in the middle of the night and you didn't fucking write it down, or kinda do a voice memo thing, you feel like you just drank a bottle of Malört. That's like, "Man!" Like, you just, I'm so sour at all times, I fucking snap at people, I'm not happy in any way, I'm a fucking grump.

S: Well, what it's like, and it happens to me a lot too, it's almost like these single serving doses of being bipolar.

F: Mhm.

S: That's what I think of it like.

F: Yes.

J: Wow.

F: Because I can be manic.

S: Yeah.

F: And so depressed.

S: Because when you write that thing and you're on this high, the next day or the next hour when something happens, and you question that, and it sends you off on this other tangent, and you're the total opposite.

F: Oh absolutely.

S: You're at this total low.

F: How about those times when you write something and you're like, "Oh damn, I cracked it. I'm actually pretty good at this, I can-" you know like, "all these things that I wanted to believe about myself are ture," and then all of a sudden, you listen back and it sucks. You're like, "No!"

S: Right.

J: See, I know what the opposite of it's like. I actually watched Back to the Future this morning.

F: Okay, alright.

J: Because it's one of my go to movies.

F: Very nice.

J: I'm burping up Malört. The eureka moment, I think, you wanna look at the visual of the eureka moment is?

S: I thought you said urethra moment.

J: Different kind of party, Shaun. We'll talk about that in another episode. It's the one where we get our prostates checked, because we're old.

S: Let's do that, now.

J: No. Doc Brown, when the DeLorean goes back to the future and he gets down, he's looking around, and he sees the fire in the street, and he's jumping up and down like, "Holy shit, I'm not crazy. Holy shit." It's exactly as I imagined it to be, "This is it, I did it." That is one of the greatest highs you will ever feel in your life, when you have that. Whether you're painting, whether you're writing, whether you're drawing, whether you're building a house, when you get It, you'll never get that high off of anything else.

F: Right. And I think that's why we continue to chase it. And that's, you know, one of those things that my dad, I think, tried to instill. First off, my dad was a drummer, my grandfather was a drummer, so music happened a lot in my world, you know? And I would get to go see, if I was, you know, if my dad played a place that my mom would let me go to, I would get to see him play. And if he was playing a bar or something she felt or deemed to be too seedy, then I would get to go see my grandfather play. He played at this like, restaurant which was almost like a speakeasy, actually.

J: Oh, that's so cool.

F: It was kinda hidden in the forest and it was the same crowd-

S: The forest?

F: It was, it was, I swear to god. You had to know, it was like a secret turn, and you went back like-

S: That's cool.

F: You know, 2 or 3 miles into the forest, and there was this fucking little "restaurant." I used air quotes, "restaurant," back there. And the same people, the same you know, older crowd went every fucking weekend. They had their own- they had assigned seating, it was, "That was my table, that was this table," you know? And so, they would play the songs every weekend, or whatever. But I would get to see them, and if I was really good, I would get to stay up and I'd go to the diner after, with the band and that was really awesome.

J: That's awesome. I mean, your grandfather was a drummer's drummer.

F: Yes, yeah.

J: And that was the, you know, the kind of- your dad too, the kind of drums that they'd play, people who know them, they know them. Because it's a very special kind of- it's not like you go to Guitar Center, you hear someone in the drum shop trying out everything. They're, to me, true drummers.

F: Also like true musicians, right.

J: They're cats.

F: Yeah, it was like- yeah! Totally. Total cats, you know? And that was the thing when I said, "I wanna be a musician, or I wanna start a band," their first thing was like, "Don't." Their first advice was, "Don't do that ever." And I think the second form of advice was like, "Alright well, if you are going to do it, then you need to know this. And the thing that you need to know is that there's music, and then there's the music business. And very often, one has nothing to do with the other." And I feel like, that happens a lot too, in the writing. And the writing is very much the music, but then when you show it to other people, it becomes the music business.

J: Right.

F: And what is say, you know, maybe commercially viable, or what do other people like, you know, what's going to grab someone's attention, and you know, it's almost like you start to soil the process and you soil the art form by ever showing it to someone else.

J: Yeah.

F: You know? Because you want so bad to be liked, or to have someone appreciate the thing that you do, and very often, if you're not careful, you can stray from your original path to have someone reaffirm what you're doing is good.

J: Well I mean, at our core, everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants that affection, everyone wants to know that the work that they do gets that kind of love and attention back in the right way. And a lot of times, it just doesn't because you know, you said before, you have that moment in your head where your hand does what your head is actually thinking, it's awesome.

F: Yes.

J: It is subjective because what your head is now telling your hand to do something, it does it, you're like, "This is great," you show it to someone, and they're like, "Meh," and that's just, you know, it takes the wind completely out of the sails. Shaun, you've been writing comics now for how long?

S: I don't even know, man.

J: It's been a while, right?

F: It's been a long time.

S: Yeah.

J: By the time this comes out, Shaun will have published his fourth book, Wizard Beach for BOOM! Studios. And it's important because the books that you write, Shaun, are really not your traditional comic stories.

S: I try not to do what's been done before. I feel like if I did, what's the point?

F: Mhm.

J: Right.

S: You know? I also feel like what you guys were just talking about, you know, doing this for a period of time. You have to get to the point where it's kinda like, "Well fuck everyone." No one's gonna- not everyone's gonna like everything you do, right? So, for me and the people who are on my team, and my artist and my editors and letterers and colorists and everything, as long as we're happy, that's all that matters. If we're happy with what we put out, when we were in a band, we put out a record together, who cares what this one thinks or that one thinks? What matters is if we're happy.

J: Yeah.

S: That to me is what drives me and what my goal at the end of the day is.

F: In being say like, the sole writer of some stuff, right? Do you take input from say like, not co-creators but like, people that are drawing it or inking it, or stuff like that?

S: Oh absolutely. Absolutely.

F: So there is that collaborative.

S: Oh, comics are very collaborative. I mean, that's why it's important to work with people who are on the same wavelength as you are. And I feel like every book that I've been on, you know, the team behind it, the artist, the colorist, the editors, I feel like, first thing it's important to get your vision across. And after that, you know, it's important that they see what you're trying to do, and they help you get there. They're not trying to control it or trying to change it, they're trying to help you get to where you wanna be. I've been lucky enough to do that, and I feel like that's something that you know, I've done only create your own stuff so far, and I feel like I don't wanna do- I'm not interested in doing mainstream stuff because I feel like once you get into mainstream comics, that's when it becomes, you have 10 people over you, telling you what you can and cannot do, and at that point, is it even really your book anymore?

F: Right.

J: Right.

S: You know what I mean?

F: Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. I can see there being a lot of red tape and rules that you're gonna have to follow with an already established character.

S: Absolutely. Yeah.

J: So how is it different, Shaun, say than being in a band? We've all been in a band together, we've all played in bands where you- in a lot of ways, you're right. Your editor, your collaborating with the editor, the editor is giving you feedback, the editor is throwing ideas at you, but they're not sitting directly across from you when you're writing what you write. Like, in a band, you're in a room with 4 other dudes, or how many other people, you're looking people dead in the eye, you're coming up with ideas on the spot, you're riffing on it, you're bouncing it off together, like, what you do is, and I admire you so much for it. Like, the ability that you have to actually sit in front of a computer and just type things out, and write the books that way you do, I think that's an amazing gift. But you don't have to do it with anyone else looking at you. You get to do it as a singular pursuit. What's that like?

S: It's interesting because I look at it as very much like being in a band.

J: Right.

S: You know? I come to you with this riff I wrote, and then Frank's like, "Oh, I'm gonna play these chords over it," or Hambone's like, "I'm gonna play this bassline over it." And it's like, it's the same thing with comics. I'm gonna come to you with this idea, you know, sometimes you go with just an inkling of an idea, sometimes you go with a full blown out story. And then everyone gets together and they, being in a band obviously happens a lot faster, because you're right here. It's not over email and whatnot, but it's the same type of idea, you know? Everyone's collaborating, throwing in, and the goal and what the goal should be is to make what you're doing the best it can be, you know? If people start having egos, "I want this, I want that," then you need to get out.

J: Yep.

S: You know what I mean?

F: Yeah. I think that's always been such a pitfall of say like, a young artist is that like, "Just because I wrote it doesn't mean it has to be in the song or in the story."

S: Of course.

F: You know.

S: Of course. And that's something-

F: That's the thing, that's how you end up like, "Oh, this song is 27 minutes." Like, "Oh well, yeah."

S: We've done that.

F: "We had to get back to that main riff 16 times."

J: "I have this one shitty preset on this keyboard, and this jungle beat has to be in this song." "It doesn't fit the song at all." "It's fine, we're just gonna play it at the end."

F: "Yeah, we're just gonna put it in there."

J: "Just not gonna say anything about it."

F: "Just shove it in there."

J: Yeah.

S: But that's something that you learn over time in any medium, I feel like. You can be so sentimental about your ideas and creativity because you start off with this, but then that led to something else.

J: Right.

F: Right.

S: You know what I mean?

J: So let me ask you this, Shaun. Keeping in this theme now, you've done different comics for different studios.

S: Right.

J: You did Art Ops for Vertigo, you did the Killjoys for Dark Horse, now you're doing Wizard Beach for BOOM.

S: Right. I did Neverboy for Dark Horse too.

J: Did Neverboy for Dark Horse as well, right?

S: Yeah.

J: So is that like, say, working with different bands? Like, when you're working with a new editor, or working with new artists, and stuff like that? So it's different atmospheres?

S: Absolutely. Absolutely, it is. And that's why it's important to, you know, you wanna get to know these people a little bit before you jump into something.

F: Right.

S: You know what I mean? Like, even if it's from, you know, colleagues and people, your friends in the industry, and this person's great to work with and blah blah blah. You need to have a little kinda background, or even picking up books that they've done in the past. Like, what kind of books have they edited, what kind of stories are they doing? Are they, you know, if I'm gonna bring a story like Neverboy about an imaginary friend to a guy who only does war comics, that's not gonna work.

J: Right.

S: You know?

J: However though, you did Neverboy with Tyler-

S: Jenkins.

J: And he did, which I revere as one of the best comics to come out in the last 10 years, he did Peter Panzerfaust.

S: Right. That's interesting too because then you have an idea where you see someone's art and you're like, "Maybe he's only done this up to this point." You know?

J: Yeah.

S: Like, if you see a guitar player. You know, look at Ray Toro for example, he's a thrasher on the guitar, but then he can go back and play this classical kinda stuff, you know?

J: Yeah.

S: So you see something in there that you wanna maybe get out a little more.

F: Yeah. You see that there is versatility there.

S: Absolutely.

F: And you actually kinda expand upon it. One of the things I think about, say like, writing comics or writing books and of that nature, that I am envious of, yet also, I wonder if you are envious of the other side is, that you know like, being in a band and playing songs, sometimes you have to recreate those songs every night for a live show. But in doing that, sometimes those songs can kinda get fleshed out a little bit more, and you can expand upon them and they change, and you're able to, I guess, still be creative within a work of art that you've already made.

S: Right.

F: Is that something that you miss in the writing process, or is that so awesome that you don't have to worry about recreating it every night, and doing it in front of people live?

S: I feel like, I mean, there's upsides and downsides to both. I feel like a lot of people, you put out a book, you put out a record, I feel like a lot of people feel like they're defined by that one thing.

F: Right.

S: Whereas, you're not. This is just one thing you did, and then I'm gonna go do something else. I feel like a lot of people get caught up if something got bad reviews and whatnot, it's gonna bring them down to a point where they're just miserable, and it's like, you move on and you do something else.

F: But like, alright so say, with Neverboy. Issue 3 of that, if you were to get to, if you have to like, recreate that every night for a month.

S: Oh right, right.

F: Would it change and evolve?

S: Absolutely.

F: You know?

S: Absolutely.

F: Is that something that you maybe miss within this art form?

S: Yeah. You know, it's interesting because when you're writing, there's not one way to do it. Some people like to outline the whole thing first, and then go write it. Some people like to do it as they're writing it, and comics is so- precise 22 pages per issue, you can only fit so much, so many panels on a page.

F: Right.

S: So comics benefits from having an outline. However, having a very detailed outline prevents you from that kind of off the hook creativity that you would get if you were just stream of conscience writing.

F: Yeah.

S: But on the other hand, it's like you know where you're gonna end up. You know where the story's going. You know, it's like playing jazz in a club.

F: I like having restrictions and trying to use those barriers as inspirational tools. You know, sometimes that can kinda help with the process, you know? Being like, "Alright well, if I'm gonna write this song, if I can only do it with 8 notes," try to do something like that. Like, just see where it takes you, you know? Maybe you end up breaking that rule or what, but it gets you to a certain point and that's kinda fun.

J: It's challenging.

F: Yeah.

J: It's challenging instead of just verse, chorus, verse, hit the bridge, go home.

F: Yeah, just setting up different exercises for yourself and seeing what comes out.

S: Well sometimes that's where the best stuff comes. You'll write yourself into a corner, "How the fuck am I gonna get out of it?" You know what I mean?

F: Yeah exactly. Yeah. So alright well that's a question. When you're writing a book,right, and you need, what is it? Like a 6 issue story, right? Or like, story arc. Do you know where you're gonna end up at the end of it, or do you sometimes just start writing and be like, "I'm just gonna see how I can get the fuck out of this."

S: No, you should have an idea. Sometimes that changes during the course of writing it. But I feel like if you don't have an idea of where you're gonna end up, you're gonna have to go back and do a lot of fucking editing.

J: Yeah.

S: When you're done. You know what I mean? Some people do that. Usually when you're writing comics for these publishers and stuff, you're on a deadline and you don't have that luxury to just go off and free write for 6 issues and see where you end up, and then go back and edit the whole thing. I know someone like Stephen King for example, he comes up with this situation in his head and then just goes off and writes, and then when he's done he'll go back and edit it.

J: Right.

S: So if you saw his first draft, it would look nothing like the finished book. Comics, you don't have that luxury because you're on a timetable. You have to get the script in because the artist has to draw it and the colorist has to- and if you don't do it, then this one doesn't get paid, that one doesn't get paid. It's this whole stream of-

F: Oh god, that's so stressful.

J: That's gotta be so stressful.

F: Especially for me, because I'm such a fucking asshole when it comes to that kind of stuff. I'm like, yeah I'll butt fuck a song to the last possible second and make everybody hate me, and then go back to the original fucking version at the last second, you know what I mean?

J: Hey man, it's your nickel, you know?

F: Yeah.

J: So Shaun, how do you feel about say, you know, most of the stories that you tell are usually about 6 issues, sometimes just a little bit more. Is that something you prefer to do? Like, you're telling short but complete stories in a medium.

S: I would like to tell it even shorter.

J: Really?

F: Really?

S: Yeah, I feel like if you can tell something in 8 pages-

J: Right.

S: I mean.

J: Yeah, I mean, look, we all came up loving punk rock. We know less is more, all killer no filler. That's one of the things that I appreciate most about your style of writing, si that I know that I'm gonna get a complete story. You know, start to finish and some things, you kinda want more and you kinda are like, "Oh man, it'd be cool. Hopefully, maybe he does something else with it. Maybe he does something more with it." But you know, some of the best things that I've watched recently were like, "Oh, it's 1 season. This is all it needs to be. We're just doing this and we're gonna call it a day." So that's cool. That is, is that something that maybe you wanna do eventually, write a whole 700 page novel or-?

S: You mean prose? Yeah. I have prose stuff in the works right now. I've had that for a while. And it's interesting because it's very different from comics. Comics is very visual, you're looking. This is what we want you to see. When you're writing prose, it's your imagination. These are some words, take out of it what you get, you know what I mean?

J: Yeah. Awesome.

F: Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm just mulling that for a second.

J: Yeah.

F: To try to think of like, to go from the one medium which is so visual, and is showing you action without you actually having to kinda spoon feed it to a reader, and then having to- you know, then going to like a prose work and having to kinda, detail what's happening that's not being said, but it's actually happening and you have to make it flow.

S: But I feel like that's what's interesting and writing a comic script is like writing a screenplay. You're very direct, the shorter you are, the better. You wanna get, it's almost like directions, you know? This is your recipe. Whereas, prose it's like, you know, words are fun. You could come up with like, really interesting ways to say anything.

J: Yeah.

S: You know what I mean? And get any kinda imagery in your head.

J: See, I've always thought of a novelist as a writer, and half of an artist. And the half of the artist comes in where if you're reading a comic, you know, you tell the artist, "I kinda want this," and then they draw it out, so you visually get to see it. With a novelist, with you writing prose, you're actually painting the image or giving the broad strokes of that image to the reader, where they're gonna flesh it out in their own head. They're gonna visualize it in their own head, their own way. So you're kind of half the artist, right? You're kinda getting them to the set, nd they're gonna paint it themselves. Which I think is amazing.

F: How do you feel about, I guess, like alright say, maybe this is a premature question but, to write a novel and have people kinda fill in the blanks of, you know, what characters look like, or what things are actually happening, and then finding out about that later. Because I feel like that's a lot like, you know, writing songs where a listener kinda makes up their own interpretation of what that song's about, and you know, what it means to them. And sometimes you're like, oh that's, you know like, I love that it lives on in their imaginations. But when they get it so wrong, and you're like, "Oh, no. Goddamn it!"

J: Yeah, I think that's the dad. "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

F: Just disappointed, yeah. "So disappointed in your imagination."

J: Well I mean, but that's any kind of storytelling. I remember Kevin Smith used to hang out at this comic shop in Red Bank, Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash. I remember after seeing Chasing Amy I was down there with our friend Ian, and I went in, Kevin Smith was there. And I was like, I was young. This is a billion years ago. I was like, "Can you- what happened at the end of Chasing Amy?" And he looks at me, he's like, "What do you think happened, man?" And I'm like, "No man, I want you to-"

F: Oh man!

J: "Just fucking tell me."

F: Alright, Steve Albini.

J: "Just tell me, man. I've tried to figure this out on my own, like-"

F: Yeah.

J: "Talk to me like I'm a little kid, because I am." Like, you know?

S: I feel like if you're that-

F: "Hold my hand."

S: If you're that abstract, you're not really doing your job as a storyteller.

J: Right.

S: You know? If people are confused by what you're doing, and they don't understand what you're doing-

J: Yeah.

S: You're not doing your job.

J: There is that side of it, as well.

F: But what if that's what you wanted?

S: Well that's different. If that's what you're going for, you know? I mean, I'm all for surreal and abstract stuff. If you're telling a, if I'm telling a story in a comic, I want you to know what's happening. I want you to give a shit about these people it's happening to. You know what I mean?

J: Yeah. You know, it's interesting because I was actually sitting next to our friend George on the couch today, when he was like, "Hey, can I reach out to Shaun to tell him that I liked his book?" And so, our friend George texts you something along the lines of, he's like, "Your book is like Arc Rum and Mobius on like 70s psychedelic fever dream."

S: Yes, right.

J: And I saw that. When he- because he's a writer as well.

S: George is great.

J: And he said it, and I was like, "Wow, that is so on the money," yet I completely understand what's going on in the story, and I don't lose a step reading Wizard Beach, because I'm buying into it. It's stimulating my eyes, it's stimulating my brain, and I know what's going on.

S: Well here's the thing. The simpler the story, the more room you have to kinda go off and do all the weird and abstract stuff. If you had this big complicated story, it's a lot harder to do that kinda stuff.

F: I think that translates to music as well.

S: Absolutely.

F: You know?

S: Sure.

F: You start getting too busy, and you're gonna kinda lose all the intent and all of the power behind it.

J: Oh absolutely. As they say, 10 times of shit in a 5 pound bag.

F: But the bag's Gucci.

J: But the bag's Gucci. It's fine! Yeah. That's the equivalent of "I just went and bought a bunch of nice guitars and gear, but I don't know how to actually use it."

F: Yes, yes.

J: So we're gonna wrap up this episode and we will do a little more next time on writing processes. You guys have any final thoughts before we close it out?

F: You guys want another shot of that?

S: No.

J: No!

S: God.

J: No.

F: Never again? Never again?

S: Fuck.

F: Alright, I see how it is.

J: Yeah, so join- join us next month for another episode of Casual Interactions, where we definitely will not be drinking Malört again. So for Frank Iero and Shaun Simon, I'm John "Hambone" McGuire. Until we meet again, hold onto your friends.

#frank iero #hambone #shaun simon #casual interactions #5 #casual interactions 5 #full transcription

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davidaccampo · 6 years ago

Text

Breaking Down Comics

A friend of Amanda Donahue, one of my co-creators on THE MARGINS, asked me some questions, and they were so good I felt it was worth dusting off Tumblr to answer. Thanks, Nick, and I hope these rambles give you something worth your while!

Below are Nick’s two questions and my VERY long answers.

Sooo, my first question would just be how you got into it. Is it your primary form of writing?

Great question. So, is it my primary form of writing? Hmmm. I just finished a commitment to a set of 4 interactive mobile game scripts that took up quite a chunk of the last few months. In that time frame I also released a one-shot licensed 22-page comic and a 12-page digital creator-owned comic. So, on balance, I don’t think it’s currently my primary form of writing, but it’s definitely my favorite form, and it’s a medium and industry that I’m both very familiar with and passionate about, so whenever I’m given the chance to write comics, I take it.

However, comics as an industry is a difficult one to navigate. With the two biggest publishers owning incredibly popular franchises, the prime means for writers to make a living on comics is to essentially write super-heroes that you don’t own. And that, in itself, is neither good nor bad. It’s just worth noting that if you want to make comics your primary form of income, then DC and Marvel are going to come into your orbit in some shape. And that type of writing will come with its own set of thrills and challenges.

On the flip side, creator-owned comics and graphic novels can be an extremely fulfilling creative experience, if financially tricky to produce and sell. But the comics industry is still intimate enough that you can find ways to make and sell your comics. There’s a lot more to talk about there with regards to distribution and comics retail, but that’s another conversation.

It’s also worth noting that while the prevailing understanding is that digital comics sell only a fraction of the numbers of printed comics, it’s also a very accessible platform. With time and effort, you can put a comic book out to a global audience.

I may have veered slightly off topic here, but I think the point I’m trying to make is: if you want comics to be your primary form of writing, they most certainly can be. And you can and will make comics passionately and whole-heartedly, and you’ll put them into the world.

But making a living off of them is much more complicated scenario and every creator out there will have different advice for you, but be prepared for an equation that’s pretty familiar to any who has ever freelanced: less control = more money. Generally speaking, of course. There’s always a Walking Dead situation, if all the stars align.

Oh, and I never answered the first part of that question — how did I get into it? I’ll try to bullet point my personal path, which is super wonky, but probably not much stranger than most writers.

It kinda went like this:

Dave’s Writing Career: A Timeline

I always loved comics. In high school, I even wrote and drew 80 pages of a comic that was a horrible pastiche of Marvel/Epic’s Elektra: Assassin by Frank Miller and Bill Sienkiewicz and DC’s The Question by Denny O’Neil, Denys Cowan, and Rick Magyar. However, in my 20s, I’d attend conventions and discover that I had no idea how to move from fandom into professional writing.

I went on to study English and Creative Writing, thinking I’d write prose novels.

Then I moved to LA and fell in with a crowd of Hollywood screenwriter types. I wrote a few screenplays with a writing partner, Jeremy Rogers, but when nothing really came from it, we decided to make our own short films.

We made 3 short films that went into film festivals. At this point, I was tired of spending so much time and money making 10-30 minute films that didn’t result in much. We hatched a new plan: what if we availed ourselves of the iTunes platform and released an audio drama as a podcast?

Wormwood: A Serialized Mystery was the result. It allowed us to tell long, serialized stories, much like my first love: comic books.

Toward the end of the Wormwood run, an illustrator named Jared Souza contacted us. He’d adapted scenes from Wormwood into sequential art, and was curious if we ever thought about turning it into a comic book. We jumped at the chance, and with Jared we wrote and drew an 12-page mini-comic that we printed and took to the San Diego Comic-Con. Hermes Press was interested in our book, and they offered us a deal shortly after the show was over.

From there, I kept thinking about what else I could do with comics. I partnered with Chris Anderson for Lost Angels, and we made another 12-page mini-comic as a sales pitch, and we were offered a digital-first deal with a new publisher, Comicker.

And it keeps going from there, but that is the long and windy road telling stories in a LOT of different formats, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. Learning the strengths of one format does help you to understand the strengths of another. For example, for Wormwood we could really lean into long, twisty passages of monologue because it was all about the actors’ voices. However, as soon as you bring that to comics, you realize the amount of word balloons those monologues would take would utterly cover up any artwork on the page. And so you adjust.

Which is a nice segue to your other question…

Secondly, I'd love to hear how you work things out. As far as layout in regards to story. The most challenging aspect for me is to convert my thinking from imagining in film to now these static images. Do you put a lot of thought into that area, or do you focus mostly on the story and then sort of work that out as you are getting it down?

My initial thought is: “I do both.” But let’s break those up.

In terms of static images: think about the key moments. The perfect still frame of film that sums up the core of a moment of story in your mind. You want to build out from there.

But almost more importantly: think about the gutters. The space between panels. The gutters are actually where all the magic in comics reside. I recommend reading Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud. McCloud is great for understanding how a reader processes the information when we’re as absorbing art in a sequence. And the key is the gutters: The narrative “time” between panels can last a millisecond or a millennium. And the reader understands that from the context. So you’ve got to figure out how much you can get away with in between panels.

A panel exists in one moment in time. One action can occur. Imagine a father and son playing catch. What’s the most important part of that scene? The father throwing? The son catching? That’s two panels. Or, it could be a wide shot of the two, the ball in mid-air, but that wide shot probably should take up as much space on the page as two close angle shots of throwing and catching.

So, you ask yourself: what’s the emotional context of the scene? Is it important to show the father about to throw the ball (perhaps metaphorically teaching his son)? Is it important to show the son catching that ball (perhaps showing the son absorbing the lesson)? Is the activity itself the most important part (the wider shot might work best). It really depends upon the what you want to get out of the scene.

Another example: A man sits in his living room. There’s a knock at the door. He answers. It’s his landlord.

How many panels is that? The only concrete answer I can give you is that it’s ”more than one” — because the of multiple actions involved.

It could be two panels: 1) the man sits reading a newspaper, but his head is cocked because he’s JUST heard the SFX of knocking on his door. 2) he’s standing at the open door and the landlord is asking him for a rent check.

It could be five panels: 1) the main sits reading a newspaper. 2) We show the front door, with knocking SFX. 3) The man opens the door, but we don’t show who it is, building suspense. The man is nervous. 4) we reveal it’s the landlord, standing there, arms crossed and angry. 5) The landlord asks for the rent check.

How important is that scene to your overall story? Five panels is roughly a whole page. Do you want to spend a whole page to show that the man is late with his rent?

That’s brings us to the next part of your question, and the other aspect that’s really important to comics: page count.

Page count is crucial because of the amount of time it takes an artist to draw a page, and also because of the printing costs. A standard issue of a comic is roughly 20-22 pages. So you’ve got to start by knowing how much space you’ve got (some writers will refer to this as “real estate”).

As a general standard, I’m going to assume that you’re looking at a mini-series or story arc that’s probably 5-6 issues, at 20-22 pages per issue. That works for comic book issue publishing, and it collects nicely into a graphic novel.

Even if I know I’m writing a graphic novel (as we did with The Margins), I tend to think in those general terms because it helps me break the story down.

So, I might start by assuming I have 5 chapters that are each 20 pages. Then I figure out — where is the best place to end Chapter One? It shouldn’t just be a moment of pivot — a cliffhanger, something that pushes the reader to start the next chapter as quickly as they can.

I’ll use the film THE MATRIX for this example, but I’m doing this from memory, so this may not be the best story breakdown.

At first thought, knowing I have 5 chapters of 20 pages each, it seems to me a great end to the first chapter might be Neo waking up in his pod in the real world. I mean, you have to read Issue #2 if that’s where Issue #1 ends, right?

If that’s page 20, you now have 19 pages to get there. And you have to get through: Trinity and the agents, Neo following the white rabbit, Neo meeting Trinity, Neo getting a call phone from Morpheus, Neo taken by the agents and getting the tracker put in him. Neo getting the tracker removed. Neo taking the red pill.

That’s a LOT! (It’s probably more than 20 pages, but please bear in my I’m just using this as an example.)

Next I’d think about: how much real estate do I give to Trinity vs. The Agents. Maybe four pages. The first two are the fighting and running across the rooftops. The second two could be a DOUBLE-PAGE SPLASH (two pages that make up one giant image) of Agent Smith ramming his truck into the phone booth. That’d also make for a good title/credits page.

I can probably script that, but I first have to think if I can get though the rest of it with 15 more pages. Ack!

Luckily, the next bits contain a lot of conversations, so we can probably get away with 5-9 panels per page, lots of back and forth conversation, condensed onto fewer pages. And that’s key because we’re going to have to go to larger panels for key action sequences like Neo climbing out on the building ledge. Neo getting the tracker put into his belly.

To be honest, at this point, I’d probably have to rethink some of this — this feels like too much for 20 pages. But hopefully that example shows you how I approach the process. It’s basically taking the whole story and then breaking it into issue-sized chunks, then pages, then finally panels.

And as you think about panels, you do want to make sure you have a mix. Some kind of big splash page is important — it allows you to focus on the biggest moments, and it also gives the reader a bit of a chance to relax, slow down and take in the art. A sequential page can have more panels, but it becomes denser, and each panel can contain less information — one or two dialogue balloons, limited backgrounds, etc. The more panels, the less room and detail each panel can contain.

Personally, I like to think about most of my sequential pages being about 4-8 panels, peppered with one or two splash pages. I can bump up or lower the panel count as needed. If you start by thinking about 3-4 panels for big cinematic action and 5-9 panels for dense conversation or smaller actions, then you’ll probably find yourself with a decent balance through your comic.

Those are my long-winded answers. I hope this helps. There’s much more to talk about in terms of craft, but this covers most of what I think about when breaking down a comic book story.

#makecomics #writingprocess #writing #comics

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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September 18th-September 24th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from September 18th, 2019 to September 24th, 2019. The chat focused on the following question:

What webcomic(s) have you created fanart/fanfiction for? What inspired you to make it?

seetherabbit

During last years inktober, I had a theme which was "quick fanarts" where every piece was a maximum 30 min drawing of a fanart. Did lots of fanart of webcomics, including 32'Kickup, Maiz, Jasper Gold. Just to name a few. I'm thinking of doing it again this year, since it was a lot of fun.

The Q

What a great idea! I definitely want to make more fanart of webcomics and niche podcasts!

spacerocketbunny

Oh gosh I try to do fanart every once in a while and I've accumulated a lot!

Job Satisfaction https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/187511608156 Superpose https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/187365212571 O Sarilho https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/185824775876/spacerocketbunny-summer-witch-vibes Tiger Tiger https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/183426693926/spacerocketbunny-felt-like-drawing-some Never Satisfied https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/179577275446/spacerocketbunny-i-got-the-chance-to-do-guest Shaderunners https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/175472239131/spacerocketbunny-happy-third-anniversary TINF https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/127396963621/spacerocketbunny-j-ust-kiss-alre-adyyyyy-its Parallax/ Devil's Candy https://spacerocketbunnyart.tumblr.com/post/116639381141/spacerocketbunny-felt-like-drawing-some(edited)

And more for Devil's Candy, Awaken, Prague Race etc!

spacerocketbunny

I'm always want to show love and support for the comics I read so there's always something I can draw from!

AntiBunny

Now this is a topic I can sink my teeth into.

For Sluggy Freelance http://sluggy.com/ of course. This art's a bit old (I should make some new stuff) https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Bunbun-114266731

Gunnerkrigg Court http://gunnerkrigg.com/ https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Antimony-679410561

seetherabbit

https://www.instagram.com/p/BoeRdLzh4rn/ Jack Legend

AntiBunny

I've done several pieces for Da Pukas http://dapukas.com/ but this one is my personal favorite https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Let-s-Draw-Malo-734648837

seetherabbit

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo1d6GEBUV5/ Maiz

https://www.instagram.com/p/BowTc50hLt0/ Paranatural

AntiBunny

For Latchkey Kingdom http://latchkeykingdom.smackjeeves.com/ I did this one a while back https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Willa-Dragonfly-623180930

seetherabbit

I've done three fanarts for 32'Kickup https://www.instagram.com/p/BooK-zrBswz/

http://www.32kickup.com/ http://jack-legend.com/ http://maizcomic.com/ http://www.paranatural.net/(edited)

AntiBunny

And this one for Slightly Damned http://sdamned.com/ https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Buwaro-620491813 I especially like this one because I did it while streaming with the author. Very fun to draw alongside other creators. At least before picarto stopped even working for those of us stuck with DSL in the boonies.

And one for Two Kinds http://twokinds.keenspot.com/ https://www.deviantart.com/fragraham/art/Inktober-2016-Day-29-Two-Kinds-Keith-643156576

Anyway, I'll stop there, because if I included all the art I've done for various comics over the years, some of which sadly aren't around anymore I'd be flooding this chat all day.

DaeofthePast

I’ve done fanart for my friends’ comics. The main thing that inspired me to draw for them was that I wanted to see how their characters would look in my style, and I also just like making fanart for people X3 https://twitter.com/daeofthepast/status/992160815653507072?s=21 https://twitter.com/daeofthepast/status/985002172189310976?s=21

Erin/Leif & Thorn on Kickstarter

...I keep all mine in a Twitter thread, should probably just link the whole shebang: https://twitter.com/ErinPtah/status/1031561632357527552

Deo101 (Millennium)

I've made fanart for Super Galaxy knights http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/

And I did that because as soon as we met this character I just decided i loved his whole shebang. the look, the drama, the extreme confidence. love that

I've also made fanart for Court of Roses https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/

cause similarly to the other one I just really like this guy. I don't make much fanart

The Q

Ummm love that Sven!

Nutty (Court of Roses)

IT'S SUCH A GOID SVEN UGH <3

HiddenElephant

I only ever drew fan-art the once, and it was for Zebra Girl, which wrapped up about a year ago I want to say, maybe more. I don't generally do fanart, and this was a good example why, because some design elements and anatomical features gave me a lot of trouble.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I'm on my phone but i know I've done fanart for @Deo101 (Millennium) 's Millennium

khkddn

ive made a buncha fan art over the years uhhhhhh can't remember every comic. the comic ive made the most fan art for is prolly Super Duper Galaxy Knights Deluxe Extreme Mega Ultra R (http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/), for some reason that one's easy to think of stuff to draw for

Deo101 (Millennium)

Its cause of the its really good

khkddn

one of the latest fan arts ive done is for queens (http://queens.thecomicseries.com/) of Amelia, because i love her shirt

One fan art that I'm still quite happy with is this Sunstrike and Bluemist (http://sunstrikeandbluemist.thecomicseries.com/) art that I made for the fanwork initiative. I like how cute both of them turned out

jestershark

I have a whole webcomic fanart moment on my twitter-- I've been trying to do more fanart of indie stuff recently. http://www.ushalacomic.com/ https://bvbcomix.com/ https://sarilho.net/en/ http://www.peritale.com/ https://twitter.com/i/moments/1014897456566415360

Nutty (Court of Roses)

ok i'm home here's the art I did for @Deo101 (Millennium) 's Millennium https://millennium.spiderforest.com/

OH AND ALSO cuddles

JUNK

Here's some weird fanart i did for A Ghost Story https://www.aghoststorycomic.com/

snuffysam

I unfortunately don't get to do as much fanart as I'd like. Drawing is difficult for me, and it's a lot of front-end time to 3D model a character who I'm not going to render that often. So... pretty much all the fanart I do is part of the #fanwork_initiative lol. What I essentially do for that is write down all the comics I'm interested in doing fanart for, and pick one that I think I could do something interesting with relating to the theme.

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #reader favorites

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gayasinstupidpodcast · 6 years ago

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What’s up gamers!!! Our fourth episode plowed through the chaos of thanksgiving holidays and is Here w/ some Facts and Opinions about creating shit and being LGBT and how being LGBT influences creating shit. HEADS UP we recorded this while I had a cold so my voice is probably a little off, but ik Isaac put SO much work into the editing so it would be ready on time and we have recorded statements from some amazing artists (transcriptions under the cut below!) & this is honestly one of my favorite episodes we’ve done so far, so give her a listen if you’re gay or enjoy fun things!

BIG thank you once again to everyone who participated in this month’s episode!! Your contributions are so valued and so beautiful!!

You can find us on the Itunes Podcast App/Webpage at Gay As In Stupid Podcast! You can also find our episodes uploaded to Youtube and Soundcloud!

You can also follow us on twitter at gayasinstupid!