#definitely not based on real events

[lovelybabey]

Thinking about edging a girl for a couple nights in a row. Each night she melts into a whining wet mess a little bit faster, until I barely have to touch her and she’s begging for me to give her something to grind against while her hips twitch into the air.

[ditzy-hypno-pixie]

Spending the day with your hypno dom, walking around town snap cum, oh fuck, you think, come on now, dont makes a scene, back straight, walk normally. Normal, i can do tha- snap cum. Its getting a lot harder to keep everything together, the first time you maybe could have shrugged it off, second its getting a lot harder, just how many do you think you got in you before your legs give out. Its just so easy for them to make you cum over and over, its honestly effortless, you know its effortless and so do they. The only thing thats stopping them from making you cum more is they just don't feel like it at that exact moment, keep up darling, we have a lot of walking to do

[thepuwetclapper]

Thoughts I have laying in my bed at 3 AM Pt. 1

If apples are the Mondays of fruit, what does that make durians? Are they, like, when you come into work and that secretary named Jessica that you’re secretly into but you’re too shy to say anything greets you with a “Good morning! How are you doing today?” and you dont know what to say back because you dont want her to pry because, again, shy, and you probably won’t be able to keep it a secret that you love her if you keep talking to her because you just keep yapping about stuff that people usually dont talk about extensively because you might be autistic but you haven’t gotten diagnosed for it so you’re just staring into her gorgeous sapphire eyes that glisten like the ocean during a sunset or something idk they’re just really pretty and I keep getting lost in them and I look like a weirdo who’s (whose? Which one is it?) been looking into her eyes just standing there for the past minute and all you can say is “good!”? Because I think that’s what durians are like.

[marauders-brain-rot]

Barty: you ever think the bee movie is just a metaphor for a man with a micro penis?

Pandora who was happily minding her business: *stunned silence* I-

[comfymoth]

I just saw someone say "fue mi evento católico" instead of "evento canónico" and I thought you'd find it amusing

- 🦷

HELPPPPP oh that’s so fucking good, it really Had to be a little comic

[dandellynn]

discord vc moment with niigo

[rivilu]

''One night she.. simply walked into the moonlight and never returned''

I've been thinking about my Mahariel's mother a lot lately.

And my personal headcannons about those events in general. Particularly the concept of ''Mahariel is only alive because Marethari as the new keeper used blood magic to heal(?) their mother after she and their father were attacked''.

[I dont put that level of hypocrisy above her. After all, she herself is not above having shady dealings with dangerous powers, despite ousting and ostracizing her own for lesser offenses in that area. And given actions such as 'using the old magic to heal you'.. of the blight? Which you're then sufficiently recovered from until you make it to Ostagar on foot, the phrasing of 'your mother held on to life long enough to give birth to you'.. It presents a rather haunting image even when looking at it through a charitable lens. It's not like Marethari HAS NOT shown a pattern of counting certain lives as more valuable than others. And not wincing at the blood price of 'helping' them.]

In any case, in terms of Mahariel's mother.. the clan failed her. From the very start when no-one stepped in to stop the keeper getting involved with a young woman whose clan disapproved, to the very end when no-one stopped her walking off into the moonlight.

I just have this picture in my mind of her as the lone survivor, questionably alive even, rose tinted glasses shattered and reckoning with the horrors of her situation she hadn't fully recognized until that point.

The differences in age, in power. The reasons why her elders did not approve the match. Yet there's nothing to be done now.

He's dead, she's with child.

She can't go home, but the idea of staying is a nightmare.

No happy ending could ever come of this.

[starstruckodysseys]

i am loving jennifer drips pfp era but sometimes i forget i changed it so ill look at a post and go “woah this goes hard i wonder who posted it” and it turns out it was me. a month ago

[averlym]

(click for better resolution, etc.)

[vintageot5]

Writing really is just

Me: wow, this is….bad. Really bad.

Me, looking at it again 2 hours later: ….okay that’s good actually

Me, 2 hours after that: nope, nope, I was right the first time

Me the next day: …….unless

Me the day after that: how is it that I’ve written good stuff as a less skilled writer but this is such garbage

Me, 2 hours later: holy shit this is poetic genius I’m a genius

Me the next day: okay no I’m scrapping this whole thing

Me 2 hours after that: …….goddamnit fine FINE I’ll finish it

Me that night: okay hot garbage! Hottest of hot garbage wow it’s horrible I’m never looking at this again

Me 2 days later: I am a god and this is my magnum opus. I will share it with my friends

The moment I share it with my friends: suddenly I have eagle eye vision and see twenty new things wrong or repetitive or unoriginal or typos and actually I was right all those other times when I said it was bad-

My friends: why is your writing so good

Me: *screaming inside trying to decide whether I agree or disagree and the answer is “yeah”* thank you

[chapel-of-rizztual]

Do you think Dew threw up the first time he tried to suck dick because he was trying to show off??

[anormalkidingotham]

the one good thing about living in gotham and constantly breathing in countless harmful chemicals is that we pretty much all have asthma or something similar so if you ever lose your inhaler, you can just borrow one from a friend

[vaguely-functional-directions]

Kit: *(driving 50km/h)* Jacques: You know this is a 40 zone, right? Kit: Is it? I didn't know that. Maybe they should put up a sign or something. Jacques: They did. We just passed it. Kit: In my defense, I did not see the sign. Jacques: Yes... I am aware...

[missholoska]

Alphys, what ARE your ships for Sans and Toriel? You've made me curious

[rhysintherain]

90% of bioware companion characters are like 'and when you go to do the thing I asked for help with you HAVE to take me with you. I need to be there'.

Then there's Vivienne. 'Yes, please bring me the heart of a snowy wyvern, my dear. It lives in the middle of a horrid, smelly bog. Let me know when you're done.'

And legitimately the funniest thing you can do with that is take her with you to get the snowy wyvern heart.

Here's one of the fanciest Enchanters at court, dressed head to toe in high Orleasian fashion, waist deep in a swamp full of wyverns looking for the single white one.

And when they find it and kill it, the Inquisitor proceeds to cut out the heart, warm and still dripping, and place it in Vivienne's white-gloved hands, with a big smile that clearly says 'maybe next time you'll think twice about criticising my table manners, huh?'

[zo1nkss]

I think this season really put the whole "you can't analyze OFMD by modern racism definitions" to rest with the sheer amount of references to modern society they made.