#definitely have mild alcohol poisoning

[charonte-simi]

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[exhausted-archivist]

Complete Post of the Poisons of Thedas

Updated: June 2024

I have the time and the energy (as in I've had this info sitting in one of my various spreadsheets) so let's get into the poisons of Thedas. I've also split this apart from a much shorter version so if you want a TLDR, please see this post.

For the purpose of this list I'm including any weapon coatings as they can be multiuse. Additionally, Inquisition has "tonics" which include poisons, potions, and actual tonics; so things described as poison are listed there. As well as anything mentioned in Tevinter Nights short story "Eight Little Talons" that is connected to Viago as he is a poison master, he makes and keeps poisons and various toxins, or other caustic substances. I've also included bombs, grenades, and traps as they use the same poisonous ingredients and sometimes share similar effects.

The definition of a poison that I am using is: "A substance that causes injury, illness, or death, especially by chemical means. Or a substance that inhibits another substance or a reaction."

Known Coatings and Poisons

Brief note, there are some general mentioned poisons not listed here, such as "contact poison" which is far too general for me to feel like I could add it here. Things like this, and other notations of poisons I will list at the bottom under additional info/trivia.

Acidic coating

Adder's kiss

Aquae Lucidius

Arcane poison

Choke powder/Choking powder

Crow Poison (regular and concentrated)

Crow venom

Deathroot Extract (regular and concentrated)

Deathroot Toxin

Debilitating poison

Deepstalker spit and aqua regia mixture

Demonic poison (regular and concentrated)

Dispel coating

Elemental coating

Exotic dwarven poison

Fell poison

Flame coating

Fleshrot

Freezing coating

Hale's Dust

Havard's Grief

Knockout Powder

Maferath's Embrace

Magebane (regular and concentrated)

Marrow lock

Odorless Crow Poison

Pillow Talk

Qamek

Quiet Death

Saar-Qamek

Shock coating

Soldier's bane (regular and concentrated)

Soulrot coating

Spider venom (regular and concentrated)

Tears if the Dead

Venom (regular and concentrated)

Vitaar

Wyvern venom

Known Bombs, Grenades, and Traps

Acid Flask

Acidic Trap

Acidic Grease Trap

Antivan Fire

Choking Powder Trap (Mild)

Choking Powder Trap

Choking Powder Cloud Trap

Combustion Grenade

Confusion Grenade

Fell Grenade

Fire Bomb

Fire Trap

Freeze Bomb

Freeze Trap

Jar of Bees

Misdirection Cloud Trap

Pitch Grenade

Poisoned Caltrop Trap

Shock Bomb

Shock Trap

Sleeping Gas Trap (Mild)

Sleeping Gas Trap

Sleeping Gas Cloud Trap

Soulrot Trap

Tar Bomb

Ingredients That are Poisonous or Used to Create Bombs, Grenades, and Poisons

Adder Venom

Aqua regia

Black Lichen

Blight

Blood Lotus

Bulbs of the Frostback Mountains

Concentrator Agent

Corpse Heart Ichor

Corruptor Agent

Deathroot

Deep Mushroom varieties

Deepstalker Spit

Demonic Ichor

Distillation Agent

Dragon Venom

Felandaris

Fire Crystal

Firedust

Foxite

Frostrock

Frozen Lightning

Gaatlock

Ghoul's Beard

Glitterdust

Heatherum

Lifestone

Lyrium

Lyrium Dust

Madcap Bulb

Rashvine

Rashvine Nettle

Redmoss

Snake Venom

Spider Venom

Toxin Extract

Vasanthum tree

Varghest Blood

Wyvern Venom

Descriptions of Crafting Ingredients

The only discriptions included are those provided in game or text.

Adder Venom

A snake native to Antiva, known for its quick acting and deadly poison. It has a paralyzing component and works to shut down the heart and lungs of the victim. There is an antidote, created by Viago known as "Up and Adder".

Aqua regia

Not defined, but presumably another highly caustic alcohol made of wyvern venom like aquae lucidius or lyrium like aqua magus.

Black Lichen

Mentioned in the Official Dragon Age Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas, this is a lichen used to make bread and can be toxic if not cooked before consumed.

Blood Lotus

Awakening Description: This flower is famous for surviving in almost any climate. DAI Codex: Do not try to get out of this. We were told you were the best. That is why you were contracted. Was it not you who obtained the two hundred white blooming rose bushes for the Empress's winter ball last year? The comtesse has been infinitely patient 'til now, but she doesn't understand why it is so hard to fill the garden pool. She wants no more excuses. And no, she will not compromise with the dawn lotuses. They're white! The flowers have to match the silk canopies. It is crucial! Dark purple. Dark red. Do not try to frame this as a safety issue. The guests will be perfectly safe. Why, if they experience any hallucinations from the concentration of lotus essence in the air, I'm certain it will only make the evening more thrilling. I don't care if you have to send someone to some Fereldan peat bog to get it all. Just do it! —A note from Chamberlain Laurent to Grand Gardener Umbert Vauclain, over the decorations for Comtesse d'Arnee's summer garden party According to gossip in Val Royeaux, the chamberlain did succeed in convincing Grand Gardener Vauclain to provide four hundred and twenty lotus plants. The party was considered by most to be a roaring success, even though the evening concluded with at least twelve guests asleep on the lawn, three in the pool, and one lady losing several teeth trying to take a bite out of a marble statue of the comtesse's father, which she was convinced was made of cake.

Concentrator Agent

DAO Description: Heatherum and Foxite are both common herbs in Ferelden. When distilled to be sufficient purity, they may be used as herbal agents to concentrate the effects of many potions, salves, and poisons.

Corpse Heart Ichor

Used in concentrated demonic poison, this thick, black ichor comes from the heart of corpses that have been possessed by demons. Seperated from demonic ichor as that ingredient can come from other sources aside from a corpse heart.

Corrupter Agent

DAO Description: Said to have been made from lifestone that has been corrupted by the darkspawn taint in the Deep Roads, this powdery agent is required to create some of the most powerful poisons and traps known.

Deathroot

DAO Description: A harmless enough plant on its own, deathroot's thick leaves contain an extract that the Chasind have used to induce hallucinations for centuries. Sufficiently concentrated, it can be made into a deadly poison. DA2 / DAI Codex: Deathroot has been used in magic and potion making for centuries. It's a fragile-looking plant with a thin stalk and purple flowers, which fruits once a year developing bright red fleshy pods that cause disorientation and dizziness if ingested. There are two varieties. The more common Arcanist Deathroot was first found by Archon Hadrianus when he discovered it growing on several dead slaves. The other, Lunatic's Deathroot, is most closely associated with the story of the courtesan Melusine, who sought revenge on a powerful magister and his family. She harvested the plant, baked it into small pies for the magister's banquet, and presented them to the magister at a banquet. All the guests were seized by terrifying hallucinations after eating the pies and tore each other to pieces. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium, by Ines Arancia, botanist

Deep Mushroom

DAO Description: Fungi found underground in close proximity to lyrium veins. In addition to their restorative properties, they can also be made into poisons. DA2 / DAI Codex: "Deep mushroom" refers to the entire group of fungi that grows underground in caves and many parts of the dwarven Deep Roads. Collection can be a dangerous task, as the Deep Roads are often infested with darkspawn. Because of this, dwarven merchants often recruit "casteless" hirelings for the job, and pay them a meager percentage of what they earn selling the mushrooms to surfacers. The most common varieties used in the herbalist's trade are the Blightcap, Ghoul's Mushroom, and Brimstone Mushroom, almost all of which tend to carry the darkspawn's corruption. While they cannot transmit the disease, this trait often makes them quite poisonous. Deep mushrooms should only be handled by experienced herbalists and should never be consumed without first being adequately cleaned and prepared. Careless consumption has been known to cause insanity, severe abdominal cramping, and even death. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium, by Ines Arancia, botanist

Demonic Ichor

DAO Description: Understandably difficult to find, this ichor can sometimes be found in the hearts of corpses that have been possessed by demons and is naturally both thick and black. In the right hands in can be made into a very potent poison. Note: Can only be looted from darkspawn, usually alphas and emissaries.

Distillation Agent

DAO Description: One of the three rare bulbs found in the Frostback Mountains, when dried and powdered they become an excellent distillation agent required to evoke magical properties in crafting.

Dragon Venom

Mentioned to be an ingredient in gaatlok.

Felandaris

Used to craft poisons. DA2 / DAI Codex: The name felandaris is elven, meaning "demon weed," which is fitting for this rare plant because it grows only in places where the Veil is thin. Felandaris is easily identified. It's a twisted, wicked-looking shrub with long, thorny shoots, and no leaves: a skeletal hand, reaching out from an unmarked grave. Many swear the plant radiates a palpable aura of malevolence, so it comes as no surprise that it unnerves many a junior herbalist. —An excerpt from The Botanical Compendium by Ines Arancia, botanist

Fire Crystal

DAO Description: These shards of lifestone are infused with magic, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil. They're white-hot and useful in many fire-related potions and traps. DA: TTRPG Description: Fire crystals are lifestones that have been infused with agitated thermal energy, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil.

Frostrock

DAO Description: These shards of lifestone are infused with magic, either naturally or by one of the Tranquil. Frostrocks radiate cold and can be used in many cold-related potions and traps. DA: TTRPG Description: Frostrock is lifestone that has absorbed some of the cold of the Frostbacks, either naturally or through the efforts of the Tranquil.

Frozen Lightning

DAO Description: Frozen lightning is a common name for a crystal that can naturally store electricity, which has made it a sought-after ingredient in the composition of several items and salves. DA: TTRPG Description: These are crystals that store natural chemical energy, effectively making them electrical batteries.

Glitterdust

A mineral used to craft poisons and bombs

DA2 Codex: Glitterdust is the powdered form of a rock found along the Wounded Coast. When explorers brought the sparkling rock to the markets of the Free Marches, it became immediately popular among wealthy ladies who crushed it and applied the powder to their faces. The added brightness and lustre to the skin, however, soon paled in comparison to the developing rash and coughing fits. As it turned out, glitterdust is dangerous if ingested or inhaled. It's also extremely flammable, as several ladies discovered after powdering their hair while standing next to a candle. Unfortunately, this resulted in a dozen deaths by conflagration. These days, glitterdust is used sparingly, and only by experienced alchemists. The most common form of the substance is Volatile Glitterdust. If gathered from caves where darkspawn dwell, the rock produces a powder known as Tainted Glitterdust. —An excerpt from The Alchemist's Encyclopedia, by Lord Cerastes of Marnas Pell

Lifestone

DAO Description: These rare rocks have existed in close proximity to lyrium ore, and as such, they have absorbed some of its traits. Lifestones enhance the natural properties of other materials used in item creation. DA: TTRPG Description: Lifestones are chunks of rock that have lain in long proximity to lyrium ore and gained unusual properties from the exposure. They are invaluable for enchanting a wide variety of objects.

Lyrium Dust

DAO Description: This is lyrium found in a natural powdered state, ready to be incorporated into potions. DA: TTRPG Description: Lyrium found in a naturally powdered state, far easier to employ than lyrium ore.

Madcap Bulb

Awakening Description: Fereldan youths sometimes try eating madcap bulbs. They rarely repeat the experience.

Rashvine Nettle

Awakening Description: This plant burns the skin, but surprisingly not the tongue. It has no flavor whatsoever.

Spirit Shard

DAO Description: Spirit shards are enchanted lifestones that are used in several potions and poisons that affect the mind.

Toxin Extract

DAO Description: As one would expect, extracted venom from various creatures often makes potent poisons. Dropped by Giant Spiders Note: It is deemed a "venom" in the item id of the game

Descriptions of Poisons and Their Effects

I focused mainly on their descriptors provided in games and novels. I only include the gamified elements and effects for completeness of the entry as well as to elaborate on additional effects.

Acidic Coating

DAO Description: A small vial that contains a warm, lime-colored liquid.

Adder's Kiss

DAO, Awakening Description: An Antivan noble killed his adulterous wife by coating his lips with this poison and kissing her. He died as well. DA: TTRPG Description: Adder's kiss was the principal agent in the great Antivan tragedy Rosetta & Javier, supposedly a historical account of a nobleman who believes his wife has been having an affair. After a series of apparently innocent misunderstandings, Javier at last kisses his wife with lips coated with this poison, and neither survives.

Arcane Poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison weaken the ability to resist magical effects on any enemy they touch. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom, Glitterdust

Aquae Lucidius

DA: TTRPG Description: Its venom makes the wyvern widely sought by potion-makers, alchemists, and crafters of potent liquor called aquae lucidius. A miniscule quantity of wyvern venom remaining in the aquae after distillation results in a unique hallucinatory effect. Just how effective wyvern venom is at enhancing potions and alchemical recipes is either a closely guarded secret or a continuing mystery; opinions differ. Making a batch of aquae lucidius requires 1 dose of wyvern venom per 10 servings, plus additional brewing supplies such as water, sugars, herbs, and yeast (costing about 10 silvers for a 10-serving batch). Crafting any sized batch of aquae lucidius requires an advanced TN 15 Cunning (Brewing) test; each roll represents about an hour’s work. Those who drink a serving of the stuff must make a TN 13 Constitution (Drinking) test, the result of which determines the drinker’s general reaction to the brew. Increase the TN by 1 for each additional serving consumed after the first. Any character who fails the test passes out after 1d6 minutes of dizzying, ugly hallucinations that leave him rattled and uneasy (–1 to Cunning and Perception) for 1d6 hours. Characters who succeed react to the drink based on their Dragon Die result, compared to the table below. (No actual magic effects take place but drinkers may be difficult to convince of that.)

Choke Powder / Choking Powder

Both a type of poison and a class of poison. Fleshrot is an examole of a choke powder, other descriptors used for the traps are powdered rock, metal, or spices.

Crow Poison

DAO Description: This poison is a favorite of the Antivan Crows, whose efficient administration of death has built a nation's reputation. DA: TTRPG Description: The poison is mainly derived from the venom of a particularly deadly Antivan serpent

Concentrated Crow Poison

DAO Description: An enhanced version of the Crow original, this poison turns its victim into a veritable sitting duck for an efficient killer. DA: TTRPG Description: This wicked brew results from a long, complex distillation process. A character suffering its effects immediately moves to the end of the initiative order. Additionally, the victim must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test or cannot use any stunt costing more than 2sp from the remainder of the encounter.

Crow Venom

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison slow the movements of all whom they touch. Ingredient: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom

Deathroot Extract

DAO Description: Even a quick sniff of this sludge is enough to cause hallucinations. DA: TTRPG Description: Deathroot is a common and relatively harmless plant. The Chasind Wilders use a distillation made from its root bulbs to induce vivid hallucinations in which they seek mystic knowledge. When concentrated the substance can be used as a weapon. Those exposed to deathroot extract must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina or Drinking) test. Those who fail suffer hallucinations according to the Deathroot Hallucination table.

Concentrated Deathroot Extract

DAO Description: Although the deep blue-black color is attractive, clothing dyed with this liquid has proven unpopularly fatal to wear.

Deathroot Toxin

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison deal additional nature damage with each hit. Ingredients: Deathroot

Debilitating Poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison undermine the combat effectiveness of every enemy they hit, reducing the damage the foes inflict. Ingredient: Deep Mushroom

Deepstalker spit and aqua regia mixture

A caustic substance used by Viago to eat away at metal. It is highly potent.

Demonic Poison

DAO Description: The appearance and smell of this liquid are entirely unnatural, to say nothing of its effect.

Concentrated Demonic Poison

DAO Description: An extremely powerful poison derived from the thick, black ichor found in the hearts of corpses that have been possessed by demons.

Dispel coating

Awakening Description: This liquid in this flask reflects no light whatsoever.

Elemental coating

Awakening Description: A vial that contains a dark, viscous liquid.

Exotic Dwarven Poison

DAO Mentioned in Dwarven Regicide Antidote.

Fell poison

DA2 Description: Weapons coated in this potent poison leech life from every enemy they hit, transferring it to the poisoner instead. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushroom, Felandaris

Flame coating

DAO Description: A flask containing a white-hot liquid.

Fleshrot

DAO Description: The nasty concoction somehow rots flesh while the victim is still alive, accompanied by the usual stench. DA: TTRPG Description: Nasty stuff, fleshrot causes a victim's skin to immediately begin to slough off, which is horribly painful and grossly noxious. Each round for 2d6 rounds, a victim must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina ) test at the beginning of their turn to overcome the pain. If they fail they can only take a minor action that turn. A –2 penalty to social tests where a disgusting appearance would be relevant persists for a number of days equal to the number of rounds the immediate effects persisted.

Freezing coating

DAO Description: A small vial with a thick, frosty liquid.

Hale's Dust

DA: TTRPG Description: Originally used by the eponymous healer to help subdue and quiet wounded or troubled soldiers who were too much for him to handle, others have since come up with more sinister uses. Its effects last for the duration of the encounter.

Havard's Grief

A poison derived from wyvern venom, an unsubtle but a reliable one that is very popular in the Grand Game.

Knockout Powder

Mentioned in Dragon Age: Inquisition, it is mentioned in the ability "Knockout Powder" that this will put enemies to sleep for a short amount of time. There is another version of this powder that will additionally make it so the enemies are slow to wake up.

Maferath's Embrace

A toxin that increases the blood pressure of the victim, causing the veins and organts to rupture. It is a particularly rare and expensive poison. It was used once in a famous assassination done by the Antivan Crows during the Towers Age; they were hired to eliminate the highest members of the Templar Order in retribution for covering up the slaughter of mages during the Right of Annulment, where the crows spiked the lemon cake. This earned the job the moniker "Just Desserts".

Magebane

DAO Description: The Chantry's templars keep whole vats of this substance in Val Royeaux. DA: TTRPG Description: Developed by the Templar Order, this violet liquid is anathema to apostates, draining their arcane energy. Circle mages aren’t exactly fond of it either.

Concentrated Magebane

DAO Description: Most experienced spellcasters feel their stomachs drop whenever they see something whose color reminds them of this fierce substance. DA: TTRPG Description: A more potent version of magebane, templars supposedly keep huge vats of the stuff in Val Royeaux.

Marrow lock

DA: TTRPG This insidious poison runs ice through its victim’s limbs, all but locking them into place. Marrow lock’s victims can only take minor actions without consequence for the remainder of the encounter. To take a major action they must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test. On a success they suffer 1d6 penetrating damage and can carry out their action. On a failure they suffer 2d6 penetrating damage and can do nothing but howl in agony.

Odorless Crow Poison

This poison is a gas, heavier than air that will steal the breath of those sleeping but it leaves those seated or standing unharmed.

Pillow Talk

A creation of Viago's, it is a rose-coloured ointment with a greenish tint in the candlelight. This ointment is comprised of varghest blood and something from a gurgut. Viago implies it might not be effective on vashoth (qunari). It is administered anywhere on the skin.

The poison is an influencer substance that makes a person believe they can say or do anything, that the individual is safe.

Poison

DAO: Awakening Description: A deadly toxin smuggled from Antiva. Ingestion is inadvisable.

Qamek

It is not exactly known what makes qamek, though it glows similar to lyrium. This poison is used by the Tamassrans to help reeducate, neutralize captured mages, or on those who refuse to convert to the Qun to mindless laborers. Its effects will allow the mind to be easily shaped in small doses, in larger doses it renders victims mindless and causes irreversible damage.

Quiet Death

DAO Description: A foul mixture of poisons that are each deadly even on their own. Quiet Death is so potent it unnerves even the most experienced assassins. DA: TTRPG Description: A foul mixture of poisons infamous even in assassins’ circles, quiet death kills instantaneously—or doesn’t, if (say the legends) its intended victim is destined for greater things. Victims must make a TN 19 Constitution (Stamina) test, but also add their level to their roll. Those who succeed shrug off the effects. Those who fail fall immediately to 0 Health and soon expire according to the normal rules for dying. Attempts to stabilize victims of quiet death suffer a –3 penalty.

Saar-Qamek

A lethal poison that can be a gas or a substance converted into one. It is lethal to all races except the vashoth (the horned race / qunari). It drives its victims mad before they die; it can set the enemies of the Qunari into a blind rage and cause them to turn against themselves.

Shock coating

DAO Description: A small vial with a strangely glowing substance.

Soldier's Bane

DAO Description: Whenever nations find themselves at war, envoys of the opposing generals inevitably discuss a ban on this effective toxin, but the talks never result in a lasting pact.

Concentrated Soldier's Bane

DAO Description: This effective anti-infantry poison is too thick to pour from the flask. Smashing the glass is the only way to get it out.

Soulrot Coating

DAO Description: A small vial that contains a dark viscous liquid.

Spider Venom

DA: TTRPG Description: Extracted from the massive arachnids the dwarves call deep crawlers, this poison can take the edge off a warrior's skill. Its effects last for the duration of the encounter.

Concentrated Spider Venom

DA: TTRPG Description: A concentrated distillate of an already-deadly natural poison. Its effects last for a day.

Tears of the Dead

DAI Effects: The next 3 hits inflict poison on the target, causing 44 damage per second for 15 seconds. The poison remains on the weapon for 10 seconds before expiring. Noted in the item id as "Crow Poison"

Venom

DAO Description: A potent poison extracted from deadly plants and the venom of several reptiles.

Concentrated Venom

DAO Description: A complicated distillation process has made this poison much thicker than any of its individual ingredients.

Vitaar

Known as "poison armor" in Qunlat, it is a mixture that is magical in nature and hardens the skin of vashoth to an iron-like quality without hindering flexibility. The mixture contains poison and an unknown neutralizer (thought to be their own blood). But it is only for use on their physiology, all other races would perish instantly.

The process of making vitaar activates the protective effecst in the poison in a similar manner to lyrium ruins.

It is notable that currently all vitaar names stem from either a poisonous plant or animal, or in a few cases like the dragon hunter and cretahl vitaar, dangerous predators.

Notable descriptions:

DAI Description: This strange Qunari face paint is created from deadly poison—fatal when applied to anyone other than a Qunari, whose unique physiology somehow not only neutralizes its effect but also allows the paint's magic to harden the flesh and provide other protections. Arishok's Vitaar According to stories out of Kirkwall, the military leader of the Qunari spent a number of years marooned in the Free Marches city of Kirkwall – without once receiving supplies from his people or calling for help. Why he did so, and how the Qunari got along without an arishok, is unknown. The Qunari in Kirkwall did, however, have to trade considerable supplies from their sunken ship… including the Arishok's personal face paint, created from a rare and venomous snake in Par Vollen known to kill a person in seconds.

Wyvern venom

Both a poison in itself and an ingredient to many. It is potent and has given rise to a family of poisons developed in Antiva. It can be recognized by the crimson speckling of the skin on its victims.

DA: TTRPG Description: Wyvern venom slows prey and kills gradually. Once afflicted, a target is in mortal danger. After a few moments, however, venom exposed to air becomes far less dangerous. Thus it is essential to harvest wyvern venom quickly and carefully if it is to be stored for future use by, say, poisoners. A TN 17 Cunning (Poison lore) test, requiring the remains of a freshly slain wyvern, harvests 1d6 doses of viable venom, leaving none behind for a second attempt. When using the Poison-Making Mishap rule, wyvern venom adds only a +1 to the mishap result with a maximum result of 6—it never slays outright. A character poisoned with wyvern’s venom must make a TN 15 Constitution (Stamina) test or be subject to its effects. A poisoned character drops to 0 Health after a number of hours equal to 1d6 + Constitution (minimum one hour), dying unless they receive a dose of antidote before their time runs out. During this time, victims are subject to fever, visions, and a -4 penalty to Dexterity. The antidote to wyvern venom is a potion (crafted with a TN 15 Cunning (Poison lore) test) made from a mixture of three particular herbs: Andraste’s mantle, drakevein, and winterberry. Andraste’s mantle, drakevein, and winterberry are not particularly rare, in general, but may be out of season or found mostly in distant lands if you want to increase the difficulty of such a quest.

Descriptions of Bombs, Grenades, and Traps

Acid Flask

DAO Description: A flask of corrosive acid. DA: TTRPG Description: Corrosive fog that burns skin and corrodes everything else emerges from these flasks. Armor worn by those in an acid flask’s attack radius permanently loses 1 point of Armor Rating (before the acid damage is applied) until it is repaired. Increasingly severe damage to armor can accumulate from the effects of multiple acid flasks.

Acidic Trap

DAO Description: The surface of this device has been terribly etched by small leaks of its corrosive contents.

Acidic Grease Trap

DAO Description: The acid burns nicely through leather, cloth, and skin. The grease clings to anything. It's a perfect combination for a sadist.

Antivan Fire

DAI Effects: Spreads sticky fire at the target location, causing 46 burning damage every second to enemies inside the fire. The fire remains for 30 seconds.

Choking Powder Trap

DAO Mild Choking Powder Trap Description: The packet of dust contained within is surprisingly heavy, as if it were powdered rock or metal. Choking Powder Trap Description: A debilitating kitchen accident with expensive imported spices led to the development of this trap. Choking Powder Cloud Trap Description: The inventor who devised this trap can no longer speak, so powerfully did his throat object to the mishaps along the way.

Combustion Grenade

DA2 Description: When thrown, this grenade explodes with flame, dealing fire damage to all it hits. Ingredients: Deep Mushrooms

Confusion Grenade

DAI Effects: Enemies within the area of effect will attack other enemies for 20 seconds.

Dispel Grenade

Awakening Description: This flask is meant to shatter when thrown, and not before.

Elemental Grenade

Awakening Description: A flask of corrosive acid.

Fell Grenade

DA2 Description: When thrown, this grenade explodes with flame, dealing fire damage to all it hits. Ingredients: Deathroot, Felandaris, Glitterdust

Fire Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with a flammable liquid. DA: TTRPG Description: Often made using dwarven firedust or gaatlock (Qunari black powder), this combustible liquid sets flammables in its attack radius ablaze, which is generally a minor (1d6) or moderate (2d6) hazard, but varies depending on the exact circumstances.

Fire Trap

DAO Description: In its current state, this trap is cool to the touch, but the substances contained inside are certain to react violently when mixed.

Freeze Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with an ice-cold liquid. DA: TTRPG Description: An ice-cold liquid distilled by using powdered frostrock, these grenades blast cold through the limbs of their victims, slowing their movements until the end of the encounter.

Freeze Trap

DAO Description: When packed next to each other, this trap can keep a cut of meat fresh for days longer than otherwise. But its primary use is still as a deadly weapon.

Jar of Bees

DAI Effects: Summons a swarm of bees at the target location for 30 seconds. The swarm attacks the first enemy that comes near it, for 163 damage per second for 15 seconds. A target affected by the swarm has a 10% chance every second to become panicked.

Knockout Bomb

DAI Description: You hurl a grenade containing a powerful concoction that put nearby enemies to sleep. Sleeping enemies awaken after taking damage.

Misdirection Cloud Trap

Awakening Description: Forming a coherent thought about this trap is nigh impossible.

Pitch Grenade

DAI Effects: Coats the target location with pitch, which remains for 60 seconds, slowing any enemies that enter it.

Poisoned Caltrop Trap

DAO Description: Poison on the surface of the skin is one thing. Poison deep within the veins, courtesy myriad deep punctures, is quite another.

Shock Bomb

DAO Description: A glass flask filled with a strangely glowing substance. DA: TTRPG Description: A brilliant fluid that scintillates with raw energy, these flasks contain powdered frozen lightning and explode with a burst of light and the stink of ozone. They cause penetrating damage to anyone clad in any kind of metal armor.

Shock Trap

DAO Description: Even packed safely, this trap causes hair to stand on end.

Sleeping Gas Traps

DAO Mild Trap Description: Even the tiny amount of gas leaking out of this trap causes a tingling sensation. Standard Trap Description: The original formulation of this trap induced snoring too often. The new design makes it a more a dignified weapon. Cloud Trap Description: This trap is swaddled thickly in cloth, lest the owner bump it too hard during transportation and lose half the day to an unwanted nap.

Soulrot Bomb

DAO Description: A flask filled with a murky green potion.

Soulrot Trap

DAO Description: To know this trap is to know despair.

Tar Bomb

DA2 Description: This bomb explodes in a thick tar that immobilizes nearby enemies for a short time. Ingredients: Deathroot, Deep Mushrooms

Antidotes and Antivenoms

Up and Adder

An antidote created by Viago.

Wyvern Venom Antidote

One well known antidote is comprised of three herbs: Andraste’s mantle, drakevein (a deep mushroom variety), and winterberry. It is not the most accessible cure as you can find yourself in need while either out of season or not in the range of the ingredients.

Wyvern Antivenom

One way to treat wyvern poisoning is to craft an antivenom using fresh venom from a wyvern and various herb. It will create a bone white paste that will help save the victom.

Tables and Text Provided by the TTRPG

Aquae Licidius Effects

1 - "I can see through time!”

2 - “You’re all just made up of firelight and shadows, you know, flavored like blue and yellow. If I douse you, you might go out. Wouldn’t want that.”

3 - “I had a brief vision of my great-grandmother, though she was eating turnips with a modest dragon and Andraste was there putting salt on everything.”

4 - “It was as though my soul took wing and floated about my head.”

5 - “I feel strange but also good!”

6 - “That stuff works well enough. ‘Nother round, anyone?”

Possible Deathroot Hallucinations

Roll 1 - "Even the birds are Mocking Me!" The character spends the next turn raving at and attacking something innocuous like a tree, barrel, wagon, shrub, or bird.

Roll 2 - "Get it Off! Get it Off! Get it Off!" The character is convinced they are covered by bugs, leeches, snakes, or the like. They spend the next turn swatting at non-existent creepy-crawlies.

Roll 3 - "You did this to Me!" The character believes one of their comrades has backstabbed them or is otherwise plotting their demise. On the next turn the character can only take the defend action and yell in outrage at their “betrayer.”

Roll 4 - "The Sky, the hideous Sky!" The character believes that some malign creature from the sky is about to carry them off (or, for dwarves, that they are going to fall into the sky). The character spends their next turn dropping their weapons and grabbing something solid.

Roll 5 - "The shadows are alive!" The character is overcome with fear of the surrounding shadows, including their own. They spend the next turn running at top speed away from the closest concentration of shadows.

Roll 6 - "Foul darkspawn!" The character is suddenly convinced that a random nearby ally (determined by the GM) is a darkspawn or other natural enemy. The character spends the next turn attacking that “enemy,” with a +1 bonus on attack rolls for their fervency.

Poison Texts

Heart of Fire This substantial tome was written by an anonymous priest of the Imperial Chantry. In it, he discusses the most and least proper methods for raining the wrath of the Maker on His enemies. It contains recipes for shock bombs, magebane, and concentrated magebane.

On Combustibles and Corrosives This book by a dwarven miner named Grundrak discusses the use of combustibles and corrosives for best effect. It contains the formulae for both acid flasks and fire bombs. Grundrak wrote it in the Trade Tongue, certain that humans needed its advice most of all.

Riaan's Hammer A noted work by the templar Riaan, this book mostly concerns subjects other than poison making, most notably the effective torture of maleficarum to save their souls. Even so, the chapter on magebane contains its recipe. The Chantry supposedly has copies that also contain the formula for concentrated magebane, but none are known to exist outside its cathedrals and it would be heresy to possess one.

Thoughts on Fragrance Supposedly written by the Antivan poetess Evelina, this book is a masterwork of cunning prose. Those who know the correct Crow ciphers are aware that, along with its fancy turns of phrase, it contains recipes for crow poison, concentrated crow poison, and adder’s kiss.

Unusual Diseases This large physician’s reference tome was written by the Tevinter physician-mage Telregard. Not only an invaluable study of the many strange ailments that afflict Thedans, it also contains detailed notes on substances that can cause the semblance of such diseases. These notes include the recipes for fleshrot and marrow lock. The book also gives a +2 bonus to Cunning (healing) tests for those treating the more outré diseases of the world.

The Web of Decieving This folio by the Shaper and naturalist Orgaard contains extensive notes—in the Dwarven tongue—on deep crawlers, which he studied extensively. It contains the recipes for both regular and concentrated spider venom.

Additional Notes/Trivia:

While aquae licidius is a liquor it is mentioned and shared in the poison section and so it is included here. As alcohol is technically poison, but if you want a complete list of alcoholic beverages please reference the drink post I have.

According to the Dragon Age Tabletop, some creatures may be immune to the effects of certain poisons, or of all poisons. The guide says the ruling should be based on logic over biology. Using the example of the incorporeal nature of shades and ash wraiths would logically render them immune to the effects of toxins. Where in contrast nothing in the nature of blight-tainted beings would suggest they're immune to the effects of poisons.

According to the Dragon Age Tabletop, most noble houses of Orzammar employ one or several poisoners at all times. As well as herbalists who develop complex antidotes to counteract the poisons.

Poison Text mentioned in Dragon Age Tabletop Core Rulebook; "Heart of Fire", "On Combustibles and Corrosives", "Riaan's Hammer", "Thoughts on Fragrance", "Unusual Diseases", "The Web Decieving".

"Poisoned weapons" in Dragon Age: Inquisition uses a "deadly toxin".

"Toxic Cloud" is an ability in Dragon Age: Inquisition that states you "unleash a cloud of toxic dust" that damages all enemies

"Explosive Toxin" is an ability in Dragon Age: Inquisition that states your "poisons curdle the blood of your targets."

Sources:

Dragon Age: Origins + Awakening

Dragon Age 2

Dragon Age: Inquisition

Dragon Age: The Last Court

Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights

Dragon Age Tabletop RPG

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[sickmachete]

HEY !! HERE ARE SOME RANDOM FIRE SAFETY TIPS !!

AVOID HILLS. seriously. the radiant heat coming off the flames pre-heats nearby grasses/fuels located above (heat rises!) which is what cause fires to "run" up hills lighting up long strips in the blink of an eye. you cannot outrun a fire that's chasing you up hill.

EVEN IF you are standing below the fire all it takes is one stray ember blown in the wind to start a fire below YOU and then you're really screwed. if you're caught on a hill, run to the side and (if possible) try to get to any charred/burnt zones behind the fire.

charred/already burnt black areas are safe zones. they will not easily re-burn and can become refuges to retreat to (but still be mindful of smoke inhalation).

healthy green grass lawns can also be temporary safe zones. the moisture held in lush grass makes it a lot more difficult to catch fire and can work as a temporary refuge in the case of a house fire. however, TO BE CLEAR: this does NOT apply to tall forest meadow-type grasses. when i say healthy grass im talkin like suburban manicured lawns okay? if your lawn is looking crusty dry brown then thats not gonna be a good place to run to.

most mild carbon monoxide poisoning (aka smoke inhalation) can be cured by simply taking in fresh air. severe smoke inhalation may require further medical treatment though.

fire needs FUEL + OXYGEN + HEAT in order to burn. if you removed ANY of these 3 things, the fire will go out. this is known as the fire triangle. the reason why water works against fire is mainly because it's cold, however it also helps by "drowning" the fire, depriving it of oxygen.

on this note!! if you're cooking and your food catches on fire inside the pan, DO NOT! pour water onto it!!!! that will only make it splash. what you're gonna wanna do is grab a pot/pan lid and gently slide it onto the pan. this will cut off its oxygen and put the fire out. DO NOT! slam the lid onto the pan!! this rush of wind/air could blow the fire right out of the pan and directly onto you/nearby furniture!

CHECK YOUR FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!!! please!! not all fire extinguishers are meant to be used on the same fire!!! while it can vary (and you should definitely look up the ratings for your own location/extinguishers) many of them will have specific class ratings written along the label. here in the USA, those ratings are in letter form (ie: Class A, Class B, Class C, Class D, and Class K). sometimes these ratings are combined (ie: Class ABC), meaning that a Class ABC fire extinguisher can be used on a Class A, B, or C fire.

FIRE EXTINGUISHERS AND THEIR ASSIGNED FIRES

CLASS A: these extinguishers should be used on wood/paper/plastic (ie: your basic trash fire).

CLASS B: these extinguishers should be used on flammable liquids (ie: alcohol, gas, petroleum, greasing oils <- not food oils though!!).

CLASS C: these extinguishers should be used on electrical fires (ie: sparking cables, your computer spontaneously combusted and is on fire, etc).

CLASS D: these extinguishers should be used on combustible metals (ie: magnesium, titanium, potassium, sodium, etc. if that metal shit in your garage is burning, use Class D).

CLASS K: these extinguishers should be used on flammable cooking oils/greases (ie: your stove is on fire, your barbecue's on fire, etc).

CLASS ABC: these extinguishers can be used on any of the Class A, B, or C material fires.

DO NOT USE THE WRONG EXTINGUISHER. they are labeled differently for a reason!!! a Class ABC extinguisher (for example) will make a Class K fire splash! you will cause that big old greasy fire to splash right back onto you!! Class K extinguishers are specifically designed to safely put out fires without disturbing the liquids/oils so please please please check the labels of your extinguishers.

AND REMEMBER TO "PASS" !!!

HOW TO USE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER — P.A.S.S.

PULL the pin in the handle.

AIM the nozzle at the base of the fire.

SQUEEZE the lever slowly.

SWEEP (across the base of the fire) from side to side.

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 20

anakin x reader

a/n: i’m not a medical professional so don’t mind in accurate info lmfaooo- there is barf in this chapter only because i’m trying to make it realistic to what actually occurs after these procedures ( plus i kinda like writing whump lol)

The extent of Anakin’s condition is revealed and you wait for him to stabilize

warnings: cursing, alcohol abuse, emtephobia (barf and stuff…), hospitals, alcohol poisoning

_______________________________

“Ben!” you called when you spotted the bearded man sitting in the waiting room. 

“Y/n, Ahsoka- You two didn’t have to come, I could hav-”

“No, I want to be here” you interrupted. 

“Where is he?” Ahsoka asked.

“He’s still being treated, but they said a room should be ready for him soon”.

“Did they tell you his evaluation? What’s happening to him?” you asked.

“Yes, they concluded it was severe alcohol poisoning, enough to trigger a seizure and enough that he went into an alcoholic coma… I’m not sure for how long, but he definitely could have died.”

“How much did he have to drink to be in a fucking coma?!” Ahsoka exclaimed. 

“I’m not sure, but this is the most he’s ever drank,” Ben answered sadly, “but in addition he must have hit his head when he fell because he also sustained a mild concussion. “

Ahsoka seemed more frustrated than sad at the moment, “Un-fucking-believable!” she huffed. 

“Of course he was fucking drinking. I tell him he needs to go back to rehab or he at least needs some help, but does he listen to me...? No! And now here he is- going into a coma over it”.

You felt awful about Anakin’s admittance to the hospital, but you also understood the frustration Ash was feeling. She crossed her arms aggressively and tilted her face away, but you couldn’t help but hear her sniffles. 

“Ash?” you called, gently turning her towards you. Tears streamed down her face as her bottom lip quivered. 

“Ash���” you sighed, pulling her into your chest. 

“I-I try s-so hard to help him- but h-he…. I ju-just don’t want him to d-ie” she cried into your shoulder. 

Her outburst of emotion hit you in the feels and in turn made you teary as well; Ben came up and rubbed Ahsoka’s arm in comfort.

“I know Ahsoka. I know”.

_________________________________________

Days passed and Anakin was finally released from the ICU to a normal hospital room; it had a nice view of the city and good natural lighting. The room was equipped with a sofa and armchair as well as Anakin’s bed (of course). 

For the past few days you had taken residence in his room; sleeping on the couch and keeping spare clothes in a duffle bag, just to keep an eye on him.

You were the one to stay with him everyday because Ben and Satine had work and Ash had training camp.

Honestly, you only offered since they were all busy and you really had nothing else to do. 

The sofa was definitely an inconvenience for you, it was hard, didn’t have much space, and your back already hurt from the extra weight of your belly. 

You yawned and stretched your arms as you sat up from the couch beside Anakin’s bed.  

Taking Anakin’s reduced body size into account, the effects of the alcohol he consumed were amplified. His coma had lasted for 5 days and they continually pumped his stomach as well as gave him plenty of IV fluids.

Since they had gotten his vitals back to normal (relatively), he was predicted to wake up any day. 

Anakin looked so weak wrapped in the white sheets, a breathing tube sticking out of his mouth, wires connected to him, and tubes coming from every which way.

You had seen him without his prosthetics before, but the harsh hospital atmosphere made it all the more noticeable, you knew he would hate that he was disassembled when he woke. 

You heard a noise coming from Anakin and you saw his eyes weakly opening and closing as he choked on the tube down his throat. Immediately you jumped up and called nurses into the room. 

You weren't sure how conscious he was but you did know he was definitely scared. After a while you were let back into the room and told that he may be vomiting for the next few hours from all of the stomach pumps, concussion, and other shit that had happened. The head nurse told you that it was normal but to notify them if there was blood in the throw up. 

You thanked each nurse for watching over him and entered the room, fully prepared to take care of him.

He was lying in the same position he was earlier, but now he just had an oxygen tube running under his nose instead of the breathing tube.

You approached him and found his eyes were closed- he was probably resting. 

He threw up on and off for the next few hours, but it was the last time that was the worst. 

You grabbed one of the bins they gave you as you wondered if he was even cognizant enough to comprehend what was happening.

The dull room was on the chilly side but you could see the sheen of sweat forming on his brow, he was fighting so hard. 

You grabbed a cloth and went to dab at his forehead when he coughed, your eyes widened as you used your arms to sit him up so he wouldn’t choke. He coughed some more and began to drool, you grabbed a can and held it in front of him as you helped hold him up. His eyes were still closed and his head rested on your shoulder until you leaned him over the bin when he started to retch. 

You really had never been able to be around throw up without feeling sick to your stomach, but this was different: all you could think about was how you wanted it to be over so he could finally rest. 

His head was in the can and you rubbed his back as his body shook with the violent rolls of nausea. 

After a few minutes he finally finished and you put the bin on the ground so you could help him lie back down.

The metal can was definitely heavier than when you had originally given it to him, but you would have to take care of that bag later, now you need to focus on Anakin. 

He was almost about to fall over when you got back from setting the can down so you rushed to his side and grabbed one of the many washcloths the nurses had left in the room for this very occasion. 

His eyes were unfocused and barely open: that answered your question, he was not cognizant.

He groaned as you wiped his mouth and brushed his soft curls back; slick with his sweat. 

“Shh, shh, it’s going to be ok, Ani” you comforted, helping him lie back down. 

You rolled him onto his side just in case he started again and brushed your fingers through his hair. His brows were kneaded together and he was shaking; this was bad. 

A frown found its way onto your face as you watched him suffer, you never wanted him to have to go through this. 

After a few more minutes you removed your warm hand from him and went to assess the bin- there was no blood, so at least that was a good sign.

You stepped into the hall to call a nurse but there was already one there who had a custodian on the way. You thanked her and the custodian for being so patient with Anakin and you. 

After everything was sanitized you went back to sitting beside Anakin, you scanned his face for any signs of coherency but he was still really out of it.

The only sign of emotion was the small tears that fell from the corners of his closed eyes. 

______________________________________

Anakin tried to open his eyes but there was a blinding light shining down; he tried to speak but no words were forming. 

You noticed his rasping from the chair beside his bed and quickly jumped up and went to his side. He was attempting to pull off his oxygen tube but you stopped him and gently placed your hands on his face. With you blocking the overhead light, he could finally open his eyes. 

“Anakin?” you asked, trying to make sure he was actually up. 

He hummed and glanced around until he saw the IV pole and realized he was in the hospital quicker than you could have imagined his vitals went crazy. You backed up in shock as he tussled around in the bed, attempting to get out. You knew he had PTSD from being in the hospital during his recovery, but you didn’t expect it to be as bad as it clearly was. 

“Anakin it’s alright!” you tried to calm him, but he was too scared. 

Soon a team of nurses rushed in and took over before he could hurt himself; they ushered you out in the process. You texted Ben and Ahsoka to let them know that he was awake.

Once he was settled, you were allowed back in; his bed was propped up so that he was sitting and he had his head turned away from the door. 

Gingerly, you walked towards him as you tried to think of what to say. 

“Anakin?” 

Nothing. 

You sighed.

“Look, I know I'm the last person you want to see right now but putting that aside, I needed to know that you were going to be alright…”

Finally, he met your eyes.

“Did you put me in here?” he asked, more sadly than accusatory.

“No, Ben found you and called 911” 

He nodded, “I don’t remember- I don’t know what happened. I just woke up and you were there with lights shining from behind you”. 

Your face formed a sad smile, “you had severe alcohol poisoning. You were non-responsive…a-and your pulse was gone.”

His brows furrowed as he tried to comprehend what you were saying. 

“They had to pump your stomach and when they finally got your vitals back up, you had already slipped into a coma” you explained.

“People don't just go into a coma from alcohol, surely it had to be something else” he protested.

“Anakin, you had a blood alcohol concentration of .57…. Your average is .15” 

He looked up to the ceiling and laid his head back onto the pillow. 

“Fuck” he exclaimed. 

“Anakin, you can’t keep doing this-”

“I know,” he interjected with a frustrated tone. 

He took a breath and began to cough; he continued and you stepped closer, “Anakin, do you need your inhaler, I can go get-”

“I'm -” he coughed once more, “fine”.

You took another step closed and laid a gentle hand on the end of his arm stump but he quickly retracted his limb from your reach. You flinched and looked at him with wide eyes, you only meant to comfort him. 

His blue eyes looked more fearful than angry, what was going on?

His gaze traveled from your perplexed face down towards your growing stomach; his pupils dilated slightly before he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Please leave”

“But Anak-”

“Please” he pleaded, refusing to look at you. 

Your teeth gently bit down on your lower lip and you nodded, slowly heading for the door.

At the entrance, you rested a hand on the door frame and caught one last look at the man in the bed; tubes and medical tape all over his body, the hospital grade blue gown, even his sandy curls looked sad.

You had never seen him look so helpless, so dejected; surely he was lost in thought- to him this was probably torture. 

He already hated hospitals, but now he couldn’t even entertain himself with his phone. In addition, the doctors weren’t allowing him to put on his prosthetics yet.

He wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep. 

As for you, you just wanted the father of your child to be able to recover and hopefully reign in his deadly addiction. 

***

a/n: sorry for all the throw up in the chapters lately (i just wanna try and make it as realistic as possible :( ) buuuttt next chapter will heat up emotionally and we’ll start seeing more y/n x ani moments :)) i have so many plot points i wanna do, so i’m not sure how long this fic is gonna end up being…. i hope you stick around though!! thanks for reading :)

taglist: @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana @imarimone12 @fallinlovewithevil

[microtyalm13]

What are your ocs favorite types of foods?

yippiee 🎉🎉

gavriil. — food does nothing for him, and so usually he doesn't want to waste resources that someone else might need. but if you were to really insist or cook something specifically for him: he prefers very spicy and savory food. something hearty and nourishing. also a fan of korean cuisine bc of his frequent visits to vivian (and vivian's habit of cooking for several people) where they often eat budae-jjigae or jukkumi.

xiaolong. — fish soups with\and garlic bread. he's a great cook... <З he also LOVES oranges and mandarines\tangerines and truly believes that peeling oranges for someone is a love language in itself. also loves puer! especially with jasmine and a little bit of lemon. dabbles in baking so will have you taste tasting his stuff quite often since he's not much of a sweet tooth.

taisya\tasechka. — just like his creator, he gains nothing from food, but he's ready to eat anything you give him. a micheline meal, a cloud of dust, a pair of old socks. anything. any thi ng. he's like a dog that's addicted to eating cigarette butts off the sidewalk.

derzena. — very easy! moose meat, tea mushroom and cod. and, well, men of course, but it's more of a 🎀little treat🎀 for her rather than a full on meal. she also grows her own tea fungus in her home and probably has some sort of makeshift garden where she grows vegetables. she's a big woman, needs to eat a lot. usually makes soups or goulashes. <]

veniamin. — expensive liquor and cigarettes. 🧍‍♂️ alright he also has a massive fucking sweet tooth. sooo... baklava, rahat-lokum, pişmaniye, and pastila. his previous followers used to brings him sweets and alcohol as offerings. right now if anything makes him at least a little excited - it's trying new sweets or just buying a whole lot of his favorites and eating all of them in one sitting.

livy. — medium or small game like rabbits, capercaillies or roe deers. and tree sap. as a treat. he's not picky, like at all. always open to trying something new even if he doesn't like the smell or the look of it. and has a pretty bad memory so probably gets mild poisoning every month or so because he keeps eating poisonous mushrooms and caterpillars that are DEFINITELY don't want to be ingested and make it VERY clear by looking weird as hell.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

"Is that a kid!?"

WoW Birthday Whump Day 7: Bloodied knuckles / Wounded / "Is that blood?!"

Whumpril Day 7 (Hesitation)

WoW Birthday Whump Prompts List

Whumpril Prompts List

Tales from Valaria Masterpost

TW: blood, referenced kidnapping, referenced poison, referenced torture, cleaning wounds

Context: Draven receives an unexpected visit from Octavian. And he's not alone. A.K.A. Draven meets a child who is definitely not traumatized.

-----

Draven was in the middle of housework when the front door lock clicked. He froze, dusting cloth in one hand, the other reaching for the pistol at his side. The door creaked as someone pushed it open, then it shut just as quickly. Was that two sets of footsteps?

The door lock clicked a second time, and Draven drew the pistol, letting the dusting cloth fall to the floor. “Hiro?” He called, scrambling off the table—where he was dusting off the lamp above—and moving towards the doorway that connected the kitchen to the main living space. What he saw when he entered the room gave him pause.

“Is that blood?!”

Octavian glanced down at his hand. The skin on his knuckles had broken, and the cloth wadded tightly around his palm was soaked in the pale red liquid. A nasty gash above his right eye dripped blood down his face like tears. “...yes.”

Draven jumped as a small head popped out from behind Octavian. “And is that a kid?”

The girl flinched at his words and ducked back out of view. She was young, couldn’t have been older than twelve or thirteen, with short blonde hair.

“Also yes,” Octavian said simply. “I found her in the forest while hunting.”

Draven slid the pistol back into its holster. “Did you lose a fight with a bear? I expected better from you, de Silv.”

The devar rolled his eyes. “Obviously not. I sustained these injuries while trying to escort her home.” He gave the girl a significant look. “Because she hadn’t bothered to tell me she’d been kidnapped.”

“I said I was sorry,” the girl mumbled, barely audible from across the room.

“Kidnapped? Is that why you brought her here, of all places?” Draven crossed the room and reassessed both their injuries. Other than the bloody knuckles, the cut above his eye, and probably a few bruises, Octavian looked all right. The girl, however, was another case.

Upon first inspection, she only looked to have a partially scabbed-over cut on her left cheek. But the deep red stains on the sleeves of her jacket, too big for her, told a different story. She also didn’t look like she’d had a proper night’s sleep in some time. Draven could relate.

The girl’s face reddened at Draven’s inspection. Her eyes were downcast, and she picked at the hems of her jacket.

“Yes. I assume that whoever had taken her had agents in Zariya, they tried to snatch her off the street before we got out of sight.”

The key word was ‘tried’. Draven nodded before turning on his heel and darting back to the kitchen. Snatching his bag from its place on the table, he returned and dropped it in front of one of the couches. “Sit,” he ordered.

Octavian did so without question or hesitation, and the girl meekly followed. Draven rummaged through the bag, searching through the disorganized mess for the medical supplies he kept on hand. The hunting business was notorious for many on-the-job injuries, even for the mercenaries.

The first thing Draven shoved at Octavian was the tiny bottle of augri, alcohol so pure that ingesting it might cause death. “For cleaning the wounds. Not for drinking.”

The devar regarded him with mild amusement. “My people—er—my poison tolerance is greater than you realize, Cozenson.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Draven handed him a pair of handkerchiefs. “I don’t have extra on hand and it doesn’t taste good anyway.”

“...how do you know that?” the girl asked quietly as Octavian wet one of the cloths with the augri.

Draven tossed the rest of the medical supplies onto the couch next to Octavian. It was a jumble of different bandages that he hoped would be enough to bind their wounds. All as clean as possible, of course. He had standards. “Hiro—my roommate—dared me to try some once when we were in training. I didn’t swallow it, obviously, but let’s just say I prefer whiskey.”

The girl frowned. “‘Training’?”

Octavian pressed the handkerchief to his injured knuckles and hissed out through his teeth. “He’s a lycanthrope hunter. My apologies, I didn’t introduce you. This is Draven Cozenson, my partner. Draven, this is Reese.”

Reese’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re the werewolf hunter? The one who used to work in the northern forests?”

Draven rocked back on his heels, mystified. “Yeah, that’s me.” He knew his fame had grown since training, but for a random Zariyan girl to know who he was… had he really gotten that famous? Apparently so.

Octavian finished cleaning off his hand and started wrapping it. “You’re going to have to remove the jacket,” he said softly. 

Reese glanced down at her forearms, hidden underneath the stained sleeves, and grimaced. “Oh… yeah….” She slowly slipped off the jacket, jaw set as her wounds were revealed.

Draven cursed. “What in the depths did they do to you, kid?”

The cuts were shallow, thank the celestials, but so much of her blood was smeared over the skin that it was impossible to tell the extent.

“The cuts weren't them,” Reese said, numb. She pointed to the bruises on her inner elbows and wrists. “That's what they did. The cuts were done by… I think it was a fellow prisoner. With broken glass.”

Octavian froze in the act of scrubbing the blood from his face. “You didn't tell me that.”

Reese only shrugged, reaching for the augri and the other handkerchief. She winced when the alcohol made contact with the cuts but did not cry out.

Draven made uneasy eye contact with Octavian as the devar cleaned the gash over his eye. This changed things, and they both knew it. Not only had the people who'd taken Reese tried to get her back, they'd done so in broad daylight. Octavian defended her, and although they escaped, her abductors would be keeping watch for both of them.

“I need you both to lie low for a few days,” Draven began, rising to his feet. “Perhaps even move to my other safehouse when it gets dark. Then we get Reese home safely and figure out our next move from here.” He glanced at Reese. “Did you learn any of your captors’ names?”

She hesitated before responding. “Only Sagon. I don't know his last name. He has long black hair, it's always pulled back, but he wore a mask like a black circle to cover his face.”

Octavian folded his arms. “I can handle myself, Cozenson. They were no match for me.”

“Clearly…” Draven deadpanned, eyeing the cut on his head. “How'd you end up with a wound like that, anyway?”

The devar muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

“Hmm?”

“...I let myself get slammed into a table…” Octavian repeated, face darkening.

Draven smirked. “‘Handle yourself’, indeed.”

“Shut up.”

@fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds

[cloud-somersault]

For that ask game:

I'd ask about 12, but half of that has already been answered, and the other half is definitely a spoiler. So!

How about 17, 20 and 27 :3

Aw, we can go ahead and talk about it!

Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

They sure do have heated arguments and how they smooth things over depends on what they argued about! Sometimes, after an argument, all that's needed is a little affection and a quick apology. If it's like...an everyday kinda...mild annoyance.

But for bigger things, they need to talk. How soon after the fight do they talk? Depends on how mad they got. Could take days, weeks, months, years. They're so fucking petty, they'd be upset for years, but they'd give in to reconciling because they don't like being apart and they want kisses so...(especially Wukong)

Macaque would probably be the one to initiate the conversation most times because he likes being on the same page and also clarity. But! He would and will definitely tell Wukong when he's in the wrong and when he's being stupid.

But that's something Wukong appreciates, lowkey. Macaque will always be honest with him. He will not be intimidated into silence or feel pressured by Wukong's status or titles to act a certain way. Macaque will always give it to him straight, and Wukong knows he needs someone like that by his side.

So, yeah, they'd talk. Sometimes, that leads to even more arguments. Sometimes, it leads to a lot of kissing (and more). Sometimes, it leads to the silent treatment and passive aggressiveness. It just depends! Pick your poison LMFAO

Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

Wukong! Though he's shorter (I'll die on this hill) he has no problem pulling Macaque closer and kissing him silly. He does this regularly. He does this all the time. He will always do this forever and always.

But Macaque loves it. He plays like he doesn't, but he loves it. The only way you can tell is if you watch his tail! (Macaque only wags it in specific situations. It takes a lot for him to wag his tail.)

Macaque, I feel, does this from time to time as well. He appears from the shadows and steals kisses all the time. He likes scaring the shit outta Wukong and then slinking back into the darkness with a smirk. But, now that Wukong has Macaque's magic in his chest, he's able to sense when Macaque's about to pull one of his tricks.

So now, Wukong catches Macaque mid-teleport and brings him in for a kiss. And he smiles and goes, "Gotcha!" And Macaque swoons a little bit, because he sure did "get got"

Already asnwered 20. Soooo

Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

Wukong. LMFAO. He's a lightweight and everyone on that mountain knows it. If there's alcohol involved, Macaque knows what he's gonna have to do at the end of the night. He scoops Wukong up in his arms and teleports them home and looks after him. He soothes the headaches away, chases away nightmares, and heals Wukong so he won't have a hangover in the morning.

And the entire time, Wukong is a silly goober, asking for kisses and telling Macaque how pretty he is. How his fur is the perfect color and how warm he is. And Macaque is all, "Uh huh. Yeah. Sure." And Wukong just keeps going. Over and over, all night until they're both in bed.

And then he snuggles close and whispers sweet something's in Macaque's ear, and Macaque starts to blush exasperatingly. But eventually they both fall asleep, and Macaque is holding Wukong extra tight💕

For Macaque to get drunk, it takes A LOT of alcohol. But when he does get drunk, Wukong flies them back home on his cloud. Macaque is an emotional drunk, so he'll be fine and spouting information about magic or whatever one second, the next he teleports away and is a sobbing mess. Then he'll get angry at Wukong for killing him and teleport away again. Then he's back and leaning his head on Wukong's shoulder.

Macaque' magic also gets a little wacky, so random things are teleported all over the place. Macaque falls halfway into portals and then just. sits there. He'll go over to a wall and shove his head in a portal while he sobs his eyes out. It's not a pretty picture. Wukong has his hands full whenever Macaque gets drunk.

[gatoself]

A lot of terfs are trans men and nonbinary people with internalized transphobia and colonization.

Not all, but a lot. This includes those with undiagnosed autism where rigid definitions have such a hold on them. I was one of those that would say "why can't I just be a masculine woman, why can't they just be a feminine man?"

I met my best friend in a terf circle jerk here on Tumblr years ago when I was a depressed alcoholic trying to heal from internalized misogyny, decenter men, and find camaraderie when I felt alienated.

It didn't help that I had just recently had some traumatic experiences that made drinking the poison Kool-aid of terf ideology more palatable.

Fast forward years later I was in a women's coven for Aphrodite and I had cooled it on the transphobia after trying to decolonize my mind and learning about gender variance around the world throughout history. I've always held Aphrodite to a sacred standard and after overcoming alcoholism and giving up amphetamines that's when I developed real self esteem.

And part of that self esteem and love for Aphrodite (who happens to have queer and gender nonconforming myths about her), was the fact that I'd known I was nonbinary since before I fell into a decade-long spell of alcoholism. Suppressing my nervous system with tequila sodas helped ease the pain of both dysphoria and the fear that being my real self would make me hated and treated like a pariah.

I had planned to have top surgery for years even before I re-emerged as nonbinary for the first time in ten years for other reasons, and part of my self love was saving up for that. Aphrodite encompasses all forms of love and led me to true self love.

My coven's founder didn't like that and spewed all the same mild terf isms that I had said before. Talk about an ironic slap in the face!

I worked my ass off past my limits and got top surgery last year. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made and has given me the confidence to do greater things in my life that are more fulfilling.

Oh and my friend that I met in the terf group? She's trying to learn Spanish and called me mije the other day. She didn't even question it. She grew out of that mentality as well, and has been so respectful and loving, and she was deep in the shit too back in the day.

People DO change. Now I spend all the time I can on the toilet arguing with transphobes when my ibs is acting up. I have a new perspective so when faced with terf rhetoric I feel like I have more tools available to combat it. I try to read as much as I can.

Eventually when I have the language to convey more obscure concepts surrounding the topic I want to write a book that can hopefully break the spell for others 💕

[jayflrt]

if you left any clues in this chapter, i let you know I can’t pick it up because i felt they were left in some kinda human experiment. how have they not got alcohol poisoning atp ?? i have no clue on alcohol, since I don’t drink but assume that many shots of alcohol would be bad. or did math be wrong in my mind ? the haze felt like, it was they lived a normal life in the morning and at night some magical creatures 🧛🧛🧛🧛🧛. I feel like this was a mild haze because most insane thing was doing exercises after shots. Also Jay is so smart for the presentation thing, I would have thought of it and made some kinda random thing. talking bout a broad topic but giving one single message that’s smart 🫡 I want Jay so bad honestly. be MINE JAY AHHH 🐺🐺 it’s time for me to get into my thinking chair (pls get the blue’s clue reference) and put my thinking hat on. so far im just so taken back with everything however, I haven’t lost my goal yet. I have grown some suspense towards sunoo and rest of yn’s friends. first sunoo has been acting kinda weird lately, I always had my suspense with the friend group. most close people are on the suspect list always. after the small thing Chaewon pull im so confused idk if this small agenda against yn because of her past. but I don’t want to put her on the suspect list because only issue is heeseung was in love with yn while dating chaewon. people can be nasty but I don’t think she would go that far ? but she does fit the unknown doing it for their personal gain ?cuz a little revenge for ruining her relationship (as in chaewon’s) with no actual faults of her (yn) ? I know we are nearing the time yn finds about Jay but if i ignore maybe it’s not real 😅. actually what if you feel evil and go “surprise it was yn !” the whole time and she wanted to see how far jay was willing to go hide his secret. It because equal level of betrayal on both sides 😅 okay no don’t this because wtf that’s actually insane. pause, this might be nice approach because her dad has so high expectations and shit. maybe ? just…. okay no. anyhow I have no additional, suspects so far. I saw you say this maybe be 80 parts long well sign me UPPP im so invested. wait did you already reveal the secret that they blackmails Jay with ? cuz for some reason in my mind he has fake the administration and shits like that ? and maybe manipulate with the scores for him to be closer to suspect ?? or am I just tripping ??

ALSO NEXT UPDATE ARE WE GETTING LIKE THEM CONFRONTING YN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED OR NOT BECAUSE ILL LAUGH 🙏OR DID SHE ALREADY TELL ANTON ALONG THE LINE OF “hypnotically speaking, what if you fucked (with clothes on) your crush who is also friends with your ex and childhood bestie who is still in love with me, totally didn’t happen to me asking for a friend ?” at most random hour of the midnight 😅. I just know yeonjun would be first one to question it from both yn and jay, THERES NO WAY IN HELL HE WILL LET THAT GO. I KNOW HES NOT CONVINCED praying for jayn HAHAHAH ‼️ actually non of them is convinced im praying both of them. Jayn wanted a put of sight out of mind situation but now everyone kinda knows. and curious.

theory anon

LMFAOO i used that chapter more for relationship developments between different characters (especially jay) and i Did seed some plot points that i want to incorporate later but nothing that would be obvious right away if that makes sense 🤧 LMFAOO yeah it's kind of a lot but they'll live!! with terrible hangovers the next morning probably 😃 yeah the exercises added with their lack of sleep the entire week would've been brutal 🥲 and the constant anxiety that they're doing something wrong or gonna get in trouble for something,, and i def used this chapter to flex how smart jay's supposed to be LOL that is MY main character <33

sunoo and mc are weirdly secretive of their friendship i'd say so definitely some suspicion there ! and chaewon's intentions with trying to put jay and mc on the hot seat are interesting too,, and could potentially be because of heeseung?? jay now knows her father was the one who wrote the article on mercy health too so if not her, her father does know something about what happened there 🫢 and anything can happen !! but you're right that we're just about nearing the time that mc finds out about jay 🥲

also yes it's gonna be around 80 parts!! maybe longer?? hopefully not because i don't want to have to make a second masterlist 😿 but i gotta do what i must for the storyline 🙏 also jay's "secret" hasn't been revealed yet!! also his client got his admission into yale falsified (not his scores) but that's also somewhat hanging over his head and keeping him working for someone he doesn't necessarily like or agree with because he's already in too deep of a hole :')

LMFAOOO pretty much all of them know Something is going on between jay and mc but just don't say anything because they either don't wanna accept it (the case for hoon and heeseung LMFAO) or they're just satisfied watching it unfold before them (100% yeonjun)

[thevelvs]

※·✿·※SUBTYPE: Forest※·✿·※

A take on Forest subtype, one of the two common subtypes.

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Required traits of Forest are Flora elements and Webbed paws; Why? Flora is very important for this subtype, and has an almost spiritual meaning to them; for this reason, they use what nature gives to pretty themselves up as a symbol of unity with it! Webbed paws, on the other hand, serve as a big help for Forest Velvs when they, for instance, swim in local swamps or move around the forest areas.

────────────※·✿·※────────────

In the very heart of the forests, there lies a well-known settlement commonly called Boogzi. Located among the twisting vines and murky waters, Boogzi is a place of enchantment and mystery, tucked away deep within the sprawling wetlands. Boogzi's air is heavy with moisture whilst the earth is soft and spongy beneath the paws and hooves of local fauna. The numerous buildings of the Swamp's capital are all made of wood and raised up on stilts to avoid flooding during the region's periodic downpours, with the hanging wood pathways being narrow and meandering, connecting the various homes and shops. Colorful lanterns hang from the eaves of the buildings, casting a warm glow over the town at night, helping Velv folk to find their way back home when a thick fog rolls in off the marshlands. Many households also have chimes attached to their doors, alarming about the guest's coming.

The Boogzi town is a larger settlement that is bordered on all sides by wetlands that the local Velvs utilize as "hot springs" where they can spend entire days soaking and lazing around. The town square, where inhabitants congregate to trade goods and catch up on the newest rumors from all around the world, is located in the center of the bustling and lively community, being also home for the town's one and only inn. Mushroom Hat, because that's how it is called, offers delicious meals and strong drinks to locals and visitors alike. Be wary however, as some of the alcohols are made from ingredients classified as dangerous! The local Velvs developed a high resilience to toxins as a result of living in a poisonous environment and used it to their advantage. For those who are not from the forest, several of those drinks might be harmful, however not deadly (mild toxins that can cause nausea)

Boogzi is not a tourist-friendly town: although it is definitely vibrant, with the town square always being filled with laughter, music and the community being generally welcoming, it is not the safest of them all. For those who never lived in the forest areas, the moist air can be difficult to breathe with, while terrain itself poses a huge challenge. Locals learned how to cope with it, with their pores being used for the heavy atmosphere other Velvs may have troubles with at first, while their webbed paws — similar to frogs — help them with maneuvering in the dense swamps. Moreover, Boogzi is a home for various kinds of poisonous and toxic animals and mushrooms, that in some cases can turn out to be lethal but for many Swamp Velvs are commonly a subject of interest, as they are in fact fond of even the darkest parts of nature. Most of the Swamp settlements do not have names, however the reason why is not clear; it may be a preference of living there Velvs or their natural laziness.

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[puppetmaster13u]

Brutalina! I knew they had a ship name and I couldn’t for the life of me remember what it was lol. 

(Apologies if I bounce around, I have been on new medicine long enough now that it’s actually taking effect along with new stuff lol) 

Food! Bruce (& Gothamites in general) definitely have built up the habit of eating some things raw or alive, yeah. He definitely horrifies Aquaman who can in fact talk to aquatic creatures when he eats the crab alive. Though he did make sure to dispatch it humanely! It didn’t live long or feel a lot of pain! … That might’ve been the venom talking though. Y’know. Just some numbing and slight paralyzation, absolutely mild compared to the necrotoxins and myotoxins and everything else Gothamites have. But I realized! They’d (with Poison Ivy’s help) definitely hybridize plants. Tomatoes for example! In the Nightshade family! Gotham has definitely created a belladona tomato hybrid they call Bella Tomatoes. Usually savory, but sometimes cut into wedges, roasted, & drizzled with honey or in fancy parties brûléed to make a sweet-peppery snack. Parfaits are wild at parties, but you get the really crazy ones from a small mom & pop place by the Narrows that includes a build-your-own option. Comes in small one-person size to big enough buckets to feed 3 large-sized Cursed at once. Don’t even get started on the craziness of things like cocktails & their alcohols. Jams and herbs you literally can not find anywhere else because they grow and alter them from scratch. Ivy uses the proceeds to help fund her greenhouses & saving areas outside of Gotham once she’s no longer an active rogue. Even the honey tastes different because the bees have adapted to Gotham. Like even the stuff that isn’t actively poisonous has a completely new flavor and seasoning because of this. Even the fish & chickens & ducks have adapted. (Maybe adapted too well, with how many times pairs of golden eyes glare from the water, mimicking the Talons, have startled someone) 

 Gotham definitely has their own language! Chirps, clicks, whistles, warbles, barks, practically any aquatic or semi-aquatic noise there is, they can make some variation of it. But the Bats are the only ones who sing. Twitters and croaks and choruses like someone hashed some sort of frog and bird and whale together in a haunting melody. 

 You’re very right about the semi-blanket of resistance! That’s actually a real thing, with people who build up resistance enough to enough amount of poisons, it doesn’t give them immunity to new poisons, but they do have a head start with things that already have similar shit if that makes sense. So yeah, poor local hero if a rogue who uses Pollen or Gas or Venom decides to take a traipse outside of Gotham. Shit goes hard and bad fast if they don’t call a bat to take care of it. Probably helps them all agree not to go into Gotham like Batman demands though lol. One encounter of the walking nightmares is enough for most people. 

 Oh my god the younger Cursed needing blood, yesss. Everyone else thinks it’s adorable when a toddler gnaws on their parent’s fingers until they start bleeding. I bet after the curse makes its rounds & people start getting born with it there’s a notice of canines being the first teeth to grow like, 98% of the time. Once more, dentists & orthodontists in Gotham must be paid wildly. And have a strangely good knowledge of marine biology too. As does most medical people. Hm…. Whelp! Just another weird thing about Gotham, they’re sure! 

 The JL are cooing over the tiny baby. Like yeah, Batman has shown pictures to anyone who has monitor duty (he doesn’t usually stay long after meetings, but he does arrive early to them so sometimes will show them there too) but they never thought they’d get to see the lil one in person! She’s so tiny! Tiny lil baby-safe domino mask scrunching up as she gnaws on her dad’s armor. (Helena might’ve thrown (though that’s such a strong word, dropped is probably more accurate) her teething toy) They just can’t focus on the meeting when there’s a baby! So precious! So tiny! So er… bloodthirsty, as Clark finds out when he lets her hold his finger, because it’ll be fine! He’s invulnerable! And then tiny fangs break through skin. And Batman looks down at it as everyone else freaks out & with slight audible concern tells Clark to check in the medbay that there isn’t venom in that wound. Excuse them, what- Bruce does not explain, he’s too busy bouncing the baby who is UPSET her new chew toy was taken away! She will throw a fit! Cry! Glare at her father and- Oh, bottle! Nevermind she’s sated and content now. 

 That vampire rumor is back with a steel chair, you’re right lol. Nightwing & Red Robin even get in on it within their teams, since it’s not their fault said teammates didn’t believe them when they said Batman was their dad. 

Oh I bet there’s at least one annual Gala in Gotham that has Outsiders so no hunting or pools to the grumblings of everyone. But needs must, connections to be made, pleasantries to be had and all that. I bet there’s one that the Justice League, or at least some of the heroes, is invited for as guests. Even if it’s in civilian identities. And I bet there’s at least one in the Wayne Manor. Tim is the best at interacting with Outsiders probably, thanks to going to some galas outside of Gotham with his non-cursed parents. But the league members are probably shocked. Everything is ornate & warm and extravagant and would be inviting in the rooms the party is taking place in if not for the… paintings.  A large one of twisting creatures amidst murky waters framed by equally dark (yet well cared for) aquariums. Paintings of forms sinking into the depths, blood staining waters darker, birds or gargoyles or ships circling above, spires and hands or something Other reaching up below. And the Waynes- or is the Wayne-Kyles, or even the Wayne-AlGhuls- themselves are friendly enough, but there’s something equally… Off about them. About all the Gothamites. Who apparently share Batman’s & the other Gotham vigilantes habits when it comes to seafood & strange snacks that they themselves can’t seem to get their hands on. (The staff are professionals at their jobs after all, no need to cause an accidental murder scene) There’s even an intrusion by Cobblepot & Poison Ivy! To the league’s shock and they’re ready to fight, but no. Apparently they’re invited. Along with Harley Quinn who hugs the Wayne patriarch & proclaims that “Brucie, you just hafta visit the greenhouses soon, Ives is doing some work with crossbreeding some o’ tha’ medical plants an it’s goin wonderful!” Gordon would have pity for the lost looking outsiders, but he’ll admit he finds it funny as well, if only internally. He willingly hangs around the Waynes and Bats both after all. 

Mermay Special Prompt 3

“Are you kidding? No one goes to Gotham, that place is like,” Aquaman made a motion with his hand, a not-quite grimace on his face. “Like things should not be living in the water, like it should be impossible, and things should be dead, but they aren’t and it’s like, like the equivalent of an undead apocalypse over there!” 

Bruce rolled his eyes behind his cowl, taking a sip of his coffee as the others continued drinking. Socialize, they said, it’ll be fine they said. Well excuse him, but the waters weren’t that bad. Sure there were always dumped bodies, and chemicals from the rogue attacks, but it was far worse at one point.

One thing he’ll always be relieved for is how the… curse (thank you broken statuette back in the beginning of his vigilante career that fused with the other many curses of Gotham) made the people of Gotham actually care about the waters around them. 

Though also, he couldn’t help but thank anything that might be listening for the fact that the curse only interacted with Gotham waters, because losing legs with any risk of a drop of water would be downright annoying. 

“No dude, you don’t understand, no one goes there for a reason! That shit is horrific- someone saw a big thing with bits of rebar stabbed straight through it and still chased after a big alligator-thing!” Oh. Oh that had been him. Oops. Hopefully his kids didn’t find out about this, but they were probably already on the cameras. Dammnit. 

[monthofsick]

Out of it

Nov(emeto)ber 2022, Day 3: Out of it

OCs: Isaiah, Luka, Thien, Tiago

First things first: If one of your friends is that drunk, you should definitely call an ambulance. That being said, I must admit that I have a huge thing for people throwing up while being passed out. It’s extremely dangerous in real life, but gladly, we can watch out for our characters in fiction to make sure they’re okay. More or less.

TW: Vomit, drinking, alcohol poisoning, mild omorashi

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A tedious week at college had finally come to an end. Tiago’s mother had forbidden him to borrow her car for at least a month after Isaiah had drenched it in his stomach contents, so the friends had decided to just hang out. Thien shared an apartment with two of his fellow students, and since they were both visiting their family over the weekend, they had the entire place for themselves.

Tiago hadn’t snapped out of his sulky mood yet, so Isaiah decided to lift everyone’s spirit with a drinking game. He poured shots of vodka and put on Vampire’s Kiss. The rules were simple: They had to drink every time Nic Cage overacted. They easily emptied the entire bottle and with every sip, the movie became even more hilarious. During the epic climax, Thien rolled off the sofa, barely able to catch his breath inbetween laughing fits. Everyone had a good time.

To let off some steam, they went on to beat each other up in several rounds of Guilty Gear – needless to say that the loser had to drink. After the first few matches, Luka hit a winning streak. With every glorious victory, his cockiness grew as much as the others‘ frustration.

„I told you alcohol totally boosts my reflexes“, he smirked. „Didn’t know it also fucks up yours. Try harder, this is getting boring.“

„Shut your big mouth“, Thien growled. He was the unbeatable one when he was sober, but since he rarely drank as much, the inebriation affected him the most.

„How about I shut your big mouth?“ Tiago’s frown melted into a malicious grin.

„How, with your non existing skills?“, Luka teased back. Tiago ignored him and got up to dig around in his bag. He pulled out a large funnel attached to a clear tube.

„Beer bong time!“, Isaiah cheered.

„Wait, you can’t do it in our living room.“ Thien seemed far less thrilled. „What if he pukes?“

„Are you fucking kidding me?“ Luka was already on his feet, rubbing his palms in anticipation. „I’m a pro. I got this.“

They were gracious enough to move over to the kitchen corner. Isaiah helped Tiago to carefully fill up the funnel with beer. When they were done, Tiago rubbed a finger against the side of his nose, then swirled it around in the foam on top until it had dissolved completely.

„That is… both gross and amazing“, Isaiah remarked.

„Ha, newb. Everybody knows that nose grease kills beer foam.“  Tiago carefully lifted the funnel, making sure not to spill anything. „Now come on over if you dare.“

„Just a regular friday night“, Luka shrugged. He got down on one knee in front of Tiago – inevitably getting a laugh out of Isaiah who began to hum the wedding march. Shutting his eyes for a moment, Luka took a deap breath, then exhaled completely. He put the end of the tube into his mouth and tilted his head upwards, still looking completely relaxed. Isaiah, now sitting on top of the kitchen counter, was fidgeting with excitement. Thien kept a safe distance, ready to turn away if anything remotely vomit-related should happen.

As soon as Luka opened the valve, gravity took over and the beer rushed down the tube.

„Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!“, Tiago and Isaiah chanted with one voice as the amber colored liquid poured into Luka’s mouth. He didn’t swallow at all, he just let the beer flow freely down his throat. It vanished in seconds and Luka got up, raising one arm and beating his chest with the other one until he produced a loud belch. Everyone bawled and celebrated the success with another shot. When they returned to the couch, Luka was already staggering.

-

Just one hour, several drinks and a lot of dumb YouTube videos later, Luka had passed out on the sofa. First, he had slurred his speach. Then, his response time had become significantly delayed. Ultimately, he didn’t react at all. Isaiah bent over and slapped his cheek.

„Hey, Luke! Rise and shine!“ He shook his friend’s shoulders, then pinched the inside of his upper arm. Still no reaction. Luka’s head wobbled as his body was moved, then slumped to his chest.

„Give it up, he’s completely out of it.“ Tiago didn’t seem affected or worried at all. „Just let him sleep it off.“

„Are you nuts?“, Thien protested. „The guy’s wrecked. There’s no way he’s not gonna upchuck sooner or later.“

„So what, just put a bucket next to him.“

„Yeah, because he’ll totally be able to aim“, Thien huffed. „Will you explain to my flatmates why there are puke stains all over our couch and carpet and why the entire room fucking reeks?“

„We could just take him to the bathroom“, Isaiah suggested. „You guys have a bathtub, right? He can sober up in there and if he hurls, we can clean it up easily.“

„That’s… not even a bad idea. Which is a surprise, coming from you.“ Tiago was clearly amused by his own joke, at least until Isaiah punched him in the ribs.

„Stop fighting already. I’d really like to get him to the tub before an accident happens.“ Thien was visibly nervous – he was a sympathy puker after all, but Isaiah had suspected for a long time that he was also emetophobic. The fact that Thien freaked out whenever someone tried to bring up the issue only confirmed the theory.

„Tiago, you’re the strongest“, Isaiah instructed. „You take his upper body. Thien and I each take one of his legs.“

„Great.“ Tiago grumbled, but he did pick himself up from his slouched position. He got behind Luka, reached under his arms and grabbed him around the chest. With joint efforts, they lifted Luka’s limp body up and carried him into the bathroom were they placed him inside of the white tub. They stripped Luka down to his boxershorts, moving him around like a ragdoll, before they lowered him into a stable position.

„We can’t just leave him here, can we?“ Isaiah couldn’t help but feel responsible. He knew perfectly well that he still owed Luka more than one after his friend had cleaned up several buckets worth of puke Isaiah had spewed all over a certain unfortunate car.

„Then what are we supposed to do?“ Tiago clearly wasn‘t thrilled. „Sit here and hold his hand?“

„Let’s just stay for a while and make sure he’s fine, okay?“

„I knew the funneling thing was a bad idea“, Thien grumbled. „Should have never allowed it in my house.“

He left, and for a moment Isaiah was certain he wanted to hide from what was inevitably going to happen. But Thien soon returned with their phones and beer bottles. Grabbing the rug and two towels, they made themselves somewhat comfortable on the bathroom floor.

It didn’t even take ten minutes until Luka let out a sickly burp and released a gush of vomit all over his front. Thien backed away, squinching up his face in disgust.

„He could at least have warned us“, he wailed, then instantly gagged into his hand.

„The dumbass’s completely shitfaced“, Tiago scoffed. „He has no idea that he just barfed. Look? Lights are still out.“

Luka’s only reaction was his head flopping back on the rim behind him. His body jerked before a massive gush of puke shot out of his mouth like water from a drinking fountain. It stained his body up to his thighs and splashed against the ceramic. His bare stomach spasmed as more sick spluttered from his mouth, running down his cheeks.

„Bend him over!“, Isaiah yelled at Tiago who was sitting closest to the bathtub. Tiago reacted promptly and got on his feet while spinning around. With a swift move, he grabbed Luka’s shoulders and leaned him forward. A beige fluid spilled over Luka’s lips, soaking his underwear. It was thicker and mushier than the pure alcohol he had expelled before.

„Oh God.“ Thien’s face had lost all color. He moaned, then clutched his mouth with both hands and rushed out of the bathroom. Just seconds later, there was a drawn-out retch, followed by the sound of liquid hitting a hard surface. Honestly, Isaiah was surprised it hadn’t happened earlier.

„Should I look after him?“, he asked. His gaze switched back and forth between drunk Luka and the door. „I hope he made it to the sink…“

„Don’t you even think of it. The bathtub was your idea, so you’re gonna help me deal with this puker right here.“ Tiago slid under Luka’s arms again and grabbed his shoulders to prop him up. „Besides, if Thien gets it out of his system now, there’s less he has to throw up tomorrow.“

„I guess“, Isaiah sighed. He didn’t feel so great either. The stench of regurgitated alcohol and stomach contents started to get to him. „What about Luke? We can’t let him marinate in his own barf.“

„Yeah, but he has to get it all out before we clean him up. I’m pretty sure there’s more where this came from.“

As if to confirm Tiago‘s assumption, Luka’s inert body suddenly tensed, then heaved several times. He produced muffled gags way back in his throat. Now that the watery stuff had easily poured out of him, there were probably some solids left that were harder to expell. Isaiah slapped Luka on the back until his head moved with a sudden jolt. A mash of doughy chunks, mixed with indefinable lumps of red and yellow, gargled out of his mouth. The steady stream soon turned into single bits and pieces Luka’s body had to eject with harsh coughs. Isaiah kept on tapping between his shoulderblades to help him through the arduous process.

„Looks like the fella had some pizza“, Tiago grinned. Isaiah had no desire to take a closer look at whatever Luka spewed on his crotch. He was glad when the bout finally ended and Luka collapsed in Tiago’s grip. A viscous fluid trickled from his parted lips. Tiago looked like he was about to breathe a sigh of relief, but ended up making an irritated face instead as he noticed another puddle spreading between Luka’s legs. „Don’t tell me the idiot just wet himself.“

„So what, he can’t help it.“ Isaiah stroked Luka’s back. It didn’t even matter, the boxers were soaked anyways. „Will be the least of our problems to clean up.“

Tiago leaned Luka back again, then got himself a wet cloth. Stony-faced, he opened Luka’s mouth and removed any lumps of sick that hadn’t made it out.

„Go grab some paper towels and scoop up the solids“, he grumbled. „We don’t want to clog the pipes.“

„Wait, why me?“, Isaiah protested, knowing the answer perfectly well.

„Because this wasted idiot cleaned up after you not so long ago. And, trust me, you were blowing a lot more chunks than he just did.“

„Fine“, Isaiah surrendered to his fate. He fetched an entire stack of tissues from the cabinet, held his breath and started to pick up the clumps of undigested food. Most of it was piling on Luka’s lap and between his legs, which added an extra layer of awkwardness to the obvious ick factor. The puked up pizza felt warm and squishy between the sheets of paper. Isaiah pulled himself together and kept on going.

He almost made it. Maybe it was an extra sloppy lump of dough or an unintentional deep breath that hit him with the overpowering stench of vomit and booze. All of a sudden, Isaiah‘s stomach churned and he dashed towards the toilet. He barely had time to fall on his knees before he emptied himself into the bowl. Everything he had chugged that evening shot out of his mouth and nose in three enormous gushes. Isaiah’s eyes teared up from the sheer force of projectile vomiting. Both his throat and his sinuses burned like fire. With a shaky hand, he wiped his lips and flushed the toilet.

„Sorry“, he croaked and struggled to his feet.

„It’s not like I didn’t see that coming from a mile away“, Tiago sneered, shamelessly enjoying the show.

„Fuck you.“ The redhead shuffled back to his unpleasant duty and wiped up the last bits of mash and morsels. Then he grabbed the showerhead, adjusted the temperature and rinsed away the remaining puke. Some stubborn spots that had congealed on Luka’s skin needed an extra scrub with a moist tissue, but finally, their knocked out friend and the bathtub were clean again. Tiago and Isaiah lifted Luka’s shivering body out of the tub, took off his drenched underwear and dried him off thoroughly before they wrapped him up in a large towel.

„Now what do we do with our sleeping beauty?“ Tiago put Luka down on the rug and rolled him to the side. „I’m not gonna stay here the whole night.“

„I will“, Isaiah sighed. „I can sleep next to him and make sure he doesn’t choke.“

„You just want to be close to the toilet when the chunderstorm hits you tomorrow.“ Tiago chuckled, then threw a pile of towels at the redhead. „Make yourself comfortable.“

Once Tiago had left, Isaiah picked up his phone and double checked how to put a person in the recovery position. He carefully applied the technique to his unconscious friend. Luka’s skin still felt cool and clammy, but at least he was breathing calmly and had a steady pulse. Isaiah spread another towel in front of Luka‘s face, just in case he would throw up again in his sleep.

Overwhelmed by fatigue, Isaiah lay down behind Luka and snuggled up to his back to make sure he couldn’t turn over. Just a few breaths later, he drifted off to sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Archive of our own: Up all night to get Bucky

tumblr: birdnamedenza

[littlefreya]

Poison Honey

Summary: Everyone around you is too busy getting drunk and making out, while you are just dying for this dreadful Christmas party to be over. But just as you plan to leave, you catch the eye of a very hungry August Walker.

Pairing: August Walker x Reader (2nd pov)

Word count: 1K

Warnings: Passion, romance, sexual innuendo, a “thrill of the chase” if this may trigger anyone and mild alcohol use.  

A/N: Okay this Christmas drabble came to me in a dream a month ago, and I had to write it down but waited for today to post it. Many thanks to the love of my life @agniavateira​ who did my beta so quickly! 

Title: Poison Honey

Festive fairy tea lights were strung across the concrete office walls, resembling little flakes of gold over gloom and sparks floating from a pyre. Their aura lit fervent bodies clung together, shining over the grinding and touching figures as they danced to the upbeat Christmas carols that played in a volume so high you could hardly hear yourself think.

It was nothing more but a smouldering den of sin, an orgy of delights. 

Standing at a distant corner with a glass of spicy-sweet sangria pressed to your lips, you watched the massive hall, unable to take part in the sweaty horde that pranced around the golden calf.

You weren’t happy this time of the year, but then again, you never were satisfied. It’s not that life was mundane; it’s just that it existed with no meaning, and these sort of cheap thrills left you shaken. 

Because even though you wanted to take a chance and be that bad girl, deep inside, you knew you could never be one of them. 

A sigh left your lips. Waiting for the appropriate time to depart without having people talk about your introversion later, you downed your drink while deflecting the numerous attempts of Debbie from accounting to drag you into the fuss. 

It was then that you realised, you were not the only one standing alienated from the crowd. 

Funny, you’ve always assumed that a man like Agent Walker would be the first to go balls-deep in at least two women tonight. But he seemed far more enthralled in spying on everyone else and like he was having a good time watching everyone else fuck up.

His eyes burnt with blue flames that laved over many skulls before it slowly licked upon your sight. And as if you could feel both fire and ice ascending in your tendons, a shiver crawled down your back. Languidly, he traced your form. Stroking his moustache briefly, Agent Walker raised the glass of bourbon perched in his hand and gave a small tilt of recognition as if you understood one another though you’ve never spoken before. 

The last drop of sangria couldn’t quench the sudden dryness that formed in your throat. As your anxiety spiked, you did what you knew best and twirled your feet, pretending you had to go somewhere. 

Anywhere.

What were you so afraid of? Living? 

Squeezing the purse in your palm, you hurried to find the jacket left abandoned on your desk. Drunk and sultry, your co-workers swarmed every corner like zombies in a horror flick, and the sounds of passionate lovemaking reverberated through the corridors. Somewhere, in one of the glass-enclosed offices, two colleagues were indulging in a carnal dance.

Agent Walker was no longer in sight, still it resonated in your mind that he was stalking through every passage. Heat bubbled in your belly and between your reaching thighs, the tepid dew began to gather. Maybe you wanted to be chased... And perhaps you desired August Walker to catch you.  

Trying to brush these pesky thoughts away, you finally grabbed your coat and headed towards the exit. The calming warmth one feels when arriving at a shelter began to sink down your sternum. A few steps more, and you were to be safe.

But hope blew off like a candle in a ghastly wind. 

August’s shoulders were broad enough to block any way out as he stood at the pathway. His excessively muscular arms were crossed together, biceps so large they were bigger than your head. His steel-blue shirt looked as if it was about to pop and expose what you could only imagine as the epitome of virility.

The shuddering gasp that escaped you didn’t go unnoticed; he smirked with triumph before his eyes slowly levitated above your head and focused on the ceiling.

“Lucky me,” he chimed, his voice a low and melodic growl that felt like a claw cinched around your heart. 

Skin riddled with goosebumps you followed his gaze, the chill increasing as your mind already processed what you feared to grasp.

The mistletoe was hanging right over your head. 

August’s beguiling smile cut into his left cheek, darkness poisoning his lips. He made a large step forward, easily closing the remaining distance. Yes, you knew he was handsome, but up close, his beauty was ethereal: eyes like precious gems and a strong chin that made every other man look stale. His pouty lips parted as he looked down at you. A small flinch marred your face as he reached a hand to the small of your back.

“Will I get a kiss? Or will you doom me with bad luck?”

Thunderstorms struck the strings of your heart, and in your ears, you felt the throb. If August hadn’t held you in his arms, you would be on the floor by now as your legs wouldn’t cease their jittering.

Fear, desire, and the menacing anxiety of doing something completely outrageous toyed you like a marionette. Before you even realised it your mouth fell open and August leaned in, bourbon and candy on his breath. His whiskers and plump lips touched you first, brushing over so gently it was barely a kiss. Innocently he caressed your mouth before his tongue slithered into your hot cavern and tasted you with a devouring yearning. 

He crushed you; his hard pecs collided with your breasts, turning muscle and bones into a liquid thing for him to manipulate. As he pillaged your mouth, a guttural groan made its way down your entire body and ended fluttering at your womb. 

It felt empyreal, you wanted more. Melting into his steady form, you began to picture his warm body naked above yours, imagining what’s beneath his crisped shirt and ironed tie. You wondered of the size of his manhood and how these soft, lips would taste the plains of your body when he slowly broke the kiss, ending it with a tender groan that vibrated at your mouth.

Breathless, you stared at him, utterly distraught and hastily turning upset. Shame burnt white-hot, tingling across every living cell in your body. Not saying a word you pushed right past him and hurried toward the elevator. 

“Guess I’ll see you around...?” He asked behind you, with a definite victory in his voice.

Ignoring his remark you quickly disappeared to the elevator, thankful as the silver doors closed in your face and rescued you at the last moment. Your heart still rumbled in your chest as if begging to rip itself out and in your mouth lingered a honey-like flavour. 

Clueless fingers outlined the electric tingle over your lips; it was only a kiss, yet everything felt different after tonight. 

[sesamestreep]

Jyn & Bodhi, "mandolin"

Jyn gets laid off from her terrible job only a week into lockdown, which is, in all honesty, a mixed blessing, as far as Bodhi's concerned. She was threatening to quit almost daily before the pandemic hit, anyway; this just lets her collect unemployment for a while rather than being completely out on her ass. The real downside—aside from the general state of the world—is that Jyn is not someone who handles boredom well. She also hates rules, so the whole stay-at-home order is a tough area for her overall. It takes about two weeks of her pacing their tiny apartment like a wild animal in a cage before Bodhi loses his patience.

"You just need a project," he suggests, keeping his tone mild. It's not her fault that she's in this situation, after all, and Bodhi has been working remotely for years, so he's used to being home all the time in a way she isn’t. "Or a hobby!"

Jyn scoffs in response, and leaves his room to go be annoyed in the living room instead. She's picked up the habit of hanging out in his bedroom so she can make faces at him while he's stuck in virtual meetings all day. She doesn't admit that it's because she's lonely, but he can tell that's at least part of it. He's slightly concerned that if they don't find a distraction for her, she'll invent a drinking game that involves taking a shot every time he uses embarrassing office lingo during his calls, and there will be no coming back from that. He says "let's circle back to that," every five minutes, it feels like. Jyn will die of alcohol poisoning before this whole thing is over.

He mentions all of this to Cassian during one of their meetings, in case he has any suggestions. Bodhi met him and his roommate Kay through work, but they know Jyn too, from the times they convinced their office to go out to happy hour at the bar she used to work at. Jyn would probably insist they're Bodhi's friends, not hers, but he knows better.

Before Cassian can respond, Kay's head pops into frame. "Wait a minute," he says, drily, "you're telling me that Jyn—Jyn Erso—is acting hostile and irrational? I can hardly believe it!"

Cassian shoves him away at the same moment Bodhi says, "Go easy on her. She's having a tough time."

"Ignore him," Cassian replies, still glaring at his roommate off camera. "Empathy isn't his strong suit."

"I just wish I could think of something that might help her, you know? I feel like she needs a distraction."

"Yeah, I know. I don't think she's sleeping much either. She texted me at four a.m. the other day."

"She did?" Bodhi asks. He didn't know she and Cassian texted each other. He's secretly always thought maybe Jyn had a crush on him, but he knows better than to bring it up with her. She would never admit it to Bodhi, and then she'd be weird around Cassian forever. "About what?"

"She asked me if Zaboomafoo from the TV show ‘Zaboomafoo’ was a real monkey."

"What did you say?"

"I said, he's not a real monkey, but he's definitely a real lemur. And then she said, 'monkeys and lemurs are the same thing' and I said they are not the same thing—"

"I get the idea," Bodhi interjects. "Has she been texting you a lot?"

Cassian shrugs, but he's also ducking his head to stare at his desk, so Bodhi thinks he might be embarrassed. "Probably slightly more than average," he finally admits. "Mostly with questions she can easily google."

"Yeah, I think she's a little lonely with just me for company."

"It's not like she was a social butterfly before this."

"No, but she had co-workers and customers at the bar to interact with," Bodhi says. "Granted, she hated most of those people, but still."

Cassian snorts in response. "Isn't she musical?" he asks, after a moment.

"What?"

"You said she needed a hobby. Doesn't she play an instrument or something?"

"Oh, yeah," Bodhi replies. He'd completely forgotten. "She plays piano. She took lessons for years."

"Does that seem like something she'd want to get back into?"

"It's a good idea, but we definitely don't have room in our apartment for a piano."

"Not even a keyboard?"

"Not really." He sighs, exasperated. "What I need is, like, the world's smallest instrument for her to learn."

"Well, the world's smallest instrument is actually the violin I play for Kay when he complains about the way I load the dishwasher," Cassian says, throwing a look over his shoulder at his roommate, "but there's probably something out there that won't break the bank."

"Perhaps a lyre?" Kay suggests from off-camera.

"Harmonica?" Cassian adds.

"Ooh, a recorder!" Kay says, with malicious glee.

"Thanks, Kay, but I don't fancy hearing 'Hot Cross Buns' a thousand times a day while I try to work," Bodhi replies. "I appreciate the help, though."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Cassian says. "And I'm sure she'll love it."

"Thanks," he says, the gears of his mind already turning as he tries to come up with a plan.

*

In the end, he buys her a mandolin. She likes folk music and it's certainly small enough to keep in their apartment. He also thinks there are worse things in the world than listening to mandolin music all day. If she decides she hates it, or gives up after two days, they can always mount it on the wall and pretend they bought it as a piece of decor.

When the package shows up on their doorstep, Bodhi makes a whole production out of it. He drags her into the living room and makes her close her eyes before he hands the present over. Once she's unearthed the actual instrument from all of its packaging, she holds it very carefully and awkwardly, almost like it's a newborn baby.

"What is this?" she asks, and her face is blank, which means she's having some sort of emotion she doesn't like and thinks she's better off hiding it from him.

"It's a mandolin," Bodhi replies, suddenly very worried this was the stupidest idea in the history of ideas.

Jyn sighs. "I know that," she says. "I meant, what is this for?"

"For your pandemic hobby. I thought you might like to learn a new instrument and this is one is very small and cute."

"Am I really driving you that crazy?" Jyn asks, and someone who knows her less would probably miss the tiny flicker of hurt in her eyes, but Bodhi doesn’t.

“You’re not driving me crazy at all,” he insists. She levels an unimpressed look at him and he relents. “Okay, so you’re driving me a little crazy. But I mostly bought it for you. I can tell you’re bored listening in on my meetings and I’m fairly certain you’ve watched everything on Netflix already, so I thought this might be something interesting for you to do.”

Jyn spends long enough processing this and staring at the mandolin in her lap that Bodhi actually starts to sweat. He’s about three seconds from apologizing and grabbing the instrument right out of her hands, hoping they won’t ever have to talk about this again if he can just return it fast enough, when Jyn lunges at him and crushes him in an intense hug that reminds him she’s still been working out every day during lockdown.

“You like it?” He asks, faintly, as he tries to return the hug.

“Yeah,” Jyn says, her face buried in his shoulder. “I love it.”

“Good.”

*

Three days later, on another call with Cassian, he pauses mid-statement and says, “Bodhi, your mic is picking up some background noise. Can you hear that?”

Bodhi smiles. “Yeah, that’s Jyn. She’s learning a new song.”

“I take it she liked her gift,” Cassian says, with a smile of his own.

“I think so. If the noise is distracting, though, I can tell her to take a break until our call is done.”

“That’s alright,” Cassian replies. “It sounds good to me.”

Bodhi couldn’t agree more.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

💫✨💕send this to ten bloggers you think are wonderful. keep the game going 💕✨

Have a nice day/night/dance battle with the peacocks! :D

Alright, since you are a) very cool and fun and b) you took the time to send such a lovely message, I’m going to give you a part of a fic series I started many moons ago and abandoned for other things

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hatter Has Definitely Kissed Every Executive At Least Once And This Is How It Went:  Ann Edition 

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Rating: PG-13

Tags: Alcohol, shenanigans, everyone’s cutting loose, mild reluctance (but these people don’t turn down dares so y’know)

Summary: As a “team building” exercise, all of the Executives have met for a little get-together; and with alcohol and a rousing game of “truth or dare” involved, what could possibly go wrong?

“Ann,” Chisiya says, “truth or dare?”

Ann sighs.  Her red-lacquered fingernails tap rhythmically against the green of a beer bottle, the glassy sound barely audible above the chatting of the half-drunk executives.

“I already told you, I’m not playing.”

“The fuck you aren’t,” Niragi snaps, grip on his rifle tightening as he downs another shot of vodka, “no skips, that’s the rule.”

“If I had to do it, you have to do it,” Keiichi offers mournfully, taking a sad sip of bourbon from a crystal-cut glass, “it’s only fair.”

Ann turns her attention towards Hatter.  He’s taking a healthy swig from—ew, is that a bottle of peppermint schnapps?  She wrinkles her nose in disgust as he raises his eyebrows in a suggestive arch.

“This is a terrible idea,” she tells him for the fourth time in the last hour, “and you should feel bad for making us do this.”

“Ann.  Sweet, darling,” Hatter takes note of her unimpressed grimace, “angry Ann.  This is all an exercise in trust.  A way for all of us executives to bond.”

“And because he loves the drama,” Aguni adds.

“I really do,” Hatter says wistfully, “So, come on.  One round and then you can go back to summoning demons or whatever you do in your little basement crypt.”

Ann sighs.  Everyone is looking at her with expectant eyes.  She finishes the rest of her beer and puts the empty bottle on the table.

“Fine,” she says, “One round, and then I’m leaving.”

“The ice queen giveth in,” Chisiya says, the corners of his mouth turning up onto a mischievous grin, “So, pick your poison.  Truth...or dare?”

“Dare,” Ann says coolly, and the room erupts.  Even Last Boss, who had been lurking in the corner until now, gasps.  In a rare show of camaraderie, Niragi slaps Chisiya on the back and tells him to ‘give that bitch a good one.’

Imbeciles.  All of them.

“Everyone gather ‘round the table,” Chisiya purrs—yes, purrs—as he looks her with a twinkle in his eye, “because this particular date involves each and every one of you.”

“Even me?” asks Last Boss.

“But of course,” Chisiya says, “we need everyone if we’re going to play...spin the bottle.”

Ann feels the blood drain from her face.  Oh, this little blond twerp is despicable.  He is evil and terrible and—

“No re-spins.  No backing out.  The kiss must last a minimum of five seconds, but it can go longer if you feel so inclined.”

“I won’t,” Ann answers curtly.  There is not a person in this room she could ever want to kiss.  (Except for Mira, but.  Well.  That’s a thought for another day.)

“I don’t know,” Niragi says with an exaggerated flick of his tongue, the silver piercing winking at her in a supposedly seductive manner, “once you get a taste of a real man, you might find yourself hooked.”

“Perhaps Niragi wouldn’t be so bad,” Mira muses with a serene smile, “his oral fixation is off-putting on the best of days, but it might translate well to a more intimate experience.  That is, until he starts talking again.  Then it’ll be terrible.”

Niragi’s face twists into a sharp scowl as he tries to sputter a comeback; drunkenness and embarrassment have apparently robbed him of his mental faculties, so he crosses his arms over his chest and pouts.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Ann says with a huff.  

She places her empty beer bottle, label-side down, on the long wooden table.  For the first time this evening, everyone is silent.  Honestly, it’s kind of nice—it would be better if she didn’t have to end up kissing one of them, but, beggars can’t be choosers.

“You know,” Ann says, “there is a possibility it could land on me.  Does that mean I don’t have to kiss anyone?”

“That means you get to choose,” Chisiya says, “which...well, that will most certainly add some spice to the night, wouldn’t it?”

“Very evil,” Aguni concludes with a nod, “I like it.”

Hm.  Well, it was worth a shot.  

With one final, annoyed sigh, Ann places her hand on the bottle and gives it a powerful spin.  Maybe it’ll spin right off the table and shatter on the floor.  She wouldn’t have to do anything weird, and then she could just go back to her room and take a long bath.  Alone.  The way the universe intended.

It’s impossible not to watch the bottle spin, light refracting off the glass and casting flickering spots of light around the room.  It’s just a kiss.  She’s kissed people before.  Many people.  At least two.  

Friends kiss each other all the time.  Not her friends, but other people and their friends.  And these people aren’t really ‘friends,’ but they’re...acquaintances.  Colleagues.  Does that make it better or worse?

It’s slowing down now.  With each passing second, her fate is being decided by the neck of the bottle.  Mira, Last Boss, Keiichi—oh, God, please don’t let it be Keiichi, they have a meeting in the morning, that would be so awkward...

But, luckily, the bottle does not land on Keiichi.  It does not land on Niragi, nor does it land on Chisiya.  Last Boss has also been spared, as have Aguni and Mira.  That leaves only one candidate...

“Oh, Ann,” Hatter says, clapping his hands together and looking entirely too pleased with this very strange turn of events, “I always knew there was something between us!”

The thing he’s talking about is tolerance—she tolerates him because it is both sensible and beneficial to be on his good side.  He also, surprisingly enough, defers to her expertise on certain matters, which is more than can be said for her previous employers.  They are friendly, certainly, but most certainly not friends.  

And...lovers?  

Out of the question.

But Fate (and a smug little blonde) have decided that they share a moment of passion. Could she have spun worse?  Yes.  Could she have spun better?  Absolutely.  100%.  Without a doubt.

But Ann is a woman of integrity.  When she commits, she commits.  And so, as she walks to the other side of the table, she keeps her spine straight and her head held high.  She refuses to let these people see her falter.

“In addition to the parameters already given, I’d like to establish some rules of my own,” she says coolly, barely resisting the temptation to roll her eyes when he takes another gulp of alcohol.  Yep, that’s definitely peppermint schnapps he has—she can tell by the stench of it, the way it’s sharpness burns at her eyes.

She’s always hated peppermint schnapps.

“Fine, fine,” Hatter says with a wave of his hand, “as long as you promise not to fall completely in love with me in the process.”

That gets a laugh from everyone—and even Ann considers cracking a smile at the thought of someone like her ever feeling something for someone like him.  

“No tongue.  No teeth.  And,” Ann tell him firmly, “if you want to leave this room with your balls intact, I suggest you keep your hands to yourself.”

The group ooh’s at that.  Ann doesn’t look at them.  She keeps her gaze focused on the man in front of her, watching him intently for any signs of weakness.

All she gets is a smirk.

“I would expect nothing less of you, Ann,” he replies, “however, you’re more than welcome to put your hands anywhere on my person.”

He leans in slightly, almost as if he’s letting her in on a secret.

“I could even give you a few suggestions, if you like.”

What a perfectly hideous thing for him to say.  It doesn’t help that he’s fluttering his eyelashes at her like some kind of lovestruck cartoon character.  

It’s annoying.

He’s annoying.

With a roll of her eyes, Ann grabs Takeru by the silk of his obnoxious robe and crashes her mouth against his-- because she’ll be damned if he’s the one kissing her.  

Five...

The group gasps-- Takeru included, the noise muffled by the seal of their lips as she kisses him fully and firmly.

Four...

And it’s...not as gross as it could be, but it’s still a very odd experience.  His lips are soft enough, and his beard-moustache-whatever-the-fuck is scratchy in a way that is.  Well, it’s interesting.  Not good, but...interesting.

Three...

“This is fucking weird,” Niragi shouts, sounding very disgusted.

Two...

“It’s like watching my parents,” Last Boss adds, “when they were still trying to convince my sister and I they were still in love and weren’t going to get a divorce.”

One...

And done.

“Okay,” Ann says flatly as she pulls away and swallows a grimace at the sight of her favorite shade of lipstick on Takeru’s lips (and is actually a very nice compliment to his skin tone, frustratingly enough) “Can I go now.” 

For good measure, she releases his robe with a disdainful flick of her fingers and subtly brushes her hands off on her shorts.  It’s not enough to get the scent of peppermint schnapps and awkwardness off of her skin, but it can’t hurt.

“A deal’s a deal,” Chisiya concedes, his eternally mischievous smirk stretched across his cheeks, “And I must say, I didn’t expect you to fulfill your end of the bargain so...enthusiastically.”

“That’s because nobody can resist me,” Takeru gloats, bottle of alcohol back in his grip as if it had never truly left, “It’s not her fault I’m so delectable--”

“Detestable,” Ann corrects under her breath.

“--And, even though you’ll try to deny it,” Takeru continues, disregarding her comment, “both of us know that there’s a part of you that liked kissing me.”

“I liked the part when she stopped,” Mira chirps cheerfully, “In fact, I think we all did!”

“You have no idea,” Aguni murmurs solemnly into his drink, his eyes darting towards Takeru with an unimpressed look.  That’s...hm, there’s clearly some kind of story there, although Ann isn’t sure she wants to know about it. 

Everyone begins talking amongst themselves once again-- Niragi has offered to spin the bottle next, and there’s a small argument breaking out over whether or not the group should continue with their original game of ‘truth or dare’ or pivot to this new one. 

And, Ann?

Ann doesn’t stick around to find out. 

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 4

the ackerman influence

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: consumption of alcohol and weed products, intoxication, swearing, pretty dang fluffy

AN: SURPRISE BITCHES it’s out tonight!! An infinite thank you belongs to my beloved @ghostlightprincess for her keen eye for editing and swoon-worthy compliments and encouragements. Seriously, this chapter is dedicated entirely to her. I hope y’all enjoy!! I hope y’all appreciate the love I gave Sasha this chapter because........reasons. Pleease feel free to come scream/squeal/chat in my DMs or askbox! In love with you all<3 ~valkyrie

(read part 3 here)

“Here, thisun ‘sblue!” Hange slurs as she passes you yet another shot glass with Greek letters etched on the side.

“Mmm, I like blue,” you giggle, then clink your shot with hers before you both tip your heads back to pour the liquor down your throats. It tastes inexplicably like turquoise, and you laugh loudly over the thumping dance music in approval. 

The poor freshman charged with staffing the drinks table eyes the pair of you skeptically. “Maybe you two should slow down, you seem like you’ve had enough—”

You round on him, offense written across your face. He’s definitely right, but you aren’t exactly gonna let some pimply, snot-nosed teen tell you how to drink. “Woah, Nelly, this ain’t cocktail hour, this is fuckin’ Greek row an’ I won’t have your judgment,” you waggle a finger in his general direction for emphasis, “harsh my vibe.”

“You tell ‘em, girlfriend,” Hange approves vaguely, hanging off your shoulder.

The freshman holds his hands up in defeat, amused. “No judgment.”

You nod once. 

“C’mon, Han, let’s see if we can find the snacks.”

“Pleeeeeeease…”

You turn away from the drinks table to do just that, angling towards where you remember the kitchen to be — honestly, this frat is huge — and set off through the crowd. Hange trails after you, fingers tangled with yours like they have been all night, yammering on about something you can’t be bothered to follow.

“‘Scuse us, comin’ through, on a mission!” You push past jostling bodies until you reach the far wall and lean against it for the last leg of your epic journey to the fluorescent lights of the kitchen.

Someone calls your name and you look up through squinted eyes to see Sasha leaned up against the counter by the fridge, bowl of chips in her arms and dab pen tucked behind her ear. She’s dressed casually, sweatpants and DIY cropped t-shirt contrasting your jeans and flashy top.

“Sasha! My love! My dearest, sweetest darling!” You stretch your arms wide towards her, Hange jolting forward where you’re connected. “We come in search of snacks.”

Sasha laughs and lazily deposits her bowl on the counter, stepping forward to stabilize you both with a hand on your shoulder. “You’ve come to the right place, my friends.”

She steers you both to sit at the island, wedging you between the only other two people in the kitchen. You vaguely recognize them as soccer players on the university team: a shaggy-haired brunette and a tall blonde. Sasha passes you her dab pen before ambling over to the pantry. You take a hit, then pass it to Hange, who’s looking much better now that she’s sitting down.

“Sash, these your friends?” the blonde asks, peering down at you through red-rimmed hazel eyes. You pluck the pen out of Hange’s limp grasp and offer it to him in greeting, along with a drunk smile. He takes it and grins back.

“Yep,” Sasha confirms with half her body still stuck into the pantry. “It’s the mad scientist one and the architect.”

“Almost architect,” you correct. “Not official until I have my degree! Although, I will agree, Han’s a mad scientist.” You poke her in the side and she swats you away with an eye roll.

“Oh,” the brunette soccer player pipes up from Hange’s other side, now looking at you curiously as well. He’s also high, startling green eyes hooded and posture relaxed. “So you’re Braun’s ex.”

You hide your shudder of distaste by turning back to take a drag off the pen. “Please don’t tell me that’s all I’m known for,” you sigh out with a cloud of smoke.

“Eren, don’t be an ass.” Sasha finally returns with a box of chocolate pretzels and a bag of hot Cheetos. “Pick your poison, hot stuff,” she offers each in turn. You ponder for a second, then reach for the Cheetos. “That’s Eren—” she points to the brunette, who raises a lazy hand “—and that’s Jean—” the blonde reaches for the pretzels. Sasha makes an offended noise and cradles them to her chest.

You introduce both yourself and Hange while Sasha plays defense against Jean’s long reach.

“Sorry,” Eren apologizes to you, leaning over Hange to grab some Cheetos. “I heard what he did to you. Really shitty.” His tone is casual, but the way he’s practically pinning you in place with his eyes makes you twitch.

“Puh-lease,” Hange pulls out the word, long and sarcastic. “‘Twas more than shitty, what that douche did. I’d’ve wrung him out to dry, but she didn’t—”

You cut her off with a sharp poke to her side. “Drop it, Han, I don’t wanna think about it.”

“But— ooh!” She’s sufficiently distracted when you shove your food in front of her face.

“Sorry,” Eren apologizes again.

“S’okay,” you sigh and take another drag, then hold the pen out to him in a peace offering. He smiles slowly and takes it.

“You guys staying over? There’s plenty of room in the basement, and friends of Sasha’s are always welcome.” It’s Jean who offers, returning to his seat beside you with a singular pretzel for his trouble.

“Hmm, might be nice,” Hange muses, but you’re already shaking your head.

“Thank you, but my roommate’d probably have a conniption if I wasn’t home in the morning.”

Hange actually snorts at this, then starts coughing violently because of the hot Cheeto dust suddenly up her nose. You pat her back in mild concern.

“What, they got a stick up their ass or something?” Eren asks.

“Or something. Levi’s just protective.”

“Levi?” Eren’s eyes are suddenly wide, almost fearful. “Levi Ackerman?”

“Yeah.” Your tone edges on defensive. “Why?”

He takes a hit and shrugs before answering. “He’s just my foster sister’s cousin. Interesting family.”

“Oh, you mean Mikasa?” You didn’t know exactly how they were related, but she’d helped Levi move in and it had struck you how eerily similar they were in disposition.

“Yeah, Mikasa. She’s around here somewhere…” As though by magic, he turns to look over his shoulder just as Mikasa and another blonde boy you don’t recognize mosey in from the hallway. She’s leaning down to catch his soft words and he’s talking with his hands, stalling as his eyes light on the little group in the kitchen.

“Oh, hey guys,” he greets. 

“Armiiiin,” Eren greets with a genuine smile. “Come meet some new friends.”

The pair rounds the kitchen island, Armin allowing Eren to pull him in by the arm and Mikasa going to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Sasha. 

“I know you,” Hange pipes up, tilting her head to observe Armin. “You’re in the sophomore biochem class I TA for. Arlert, right?”

Armin ducks his head in a nod. “Yep. Professor LaBelle is a wonder, I had a great time this semester.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Hange’s grin is almost slipping to the dangerous side of intrigued. “I graded your final paper, by the way, and just between us, you set the grade curve.”

He blushes red but his eyes shine with something akin to satisfaction. “Really? That’s a relief, it was a bear to write.”

Eren leans back behind Hange to gesture to you, looking across the kitchen at his foster sister. “Mikasa, this is—”

“—Levi’s roommate,” they say at the same time.

“I know.” Her dark eyes regard you interestedly. “Hi, again,” she greets, saying your name even though she’s maybe heard it once in her life.

“Hi!” You give a small wave.

“What, uh, what,” Jean clears his throat and you look up at him to catch a blush staining across his cheeks and nose. He’s looking at Mikasa. “What’re you guys up to in the basement?”

“We were just going to start a movie, Connie’s setting up the projector,” Mikasa says, eyes flicking from you to Eren. “Wanted to see if you guys wanted to join.”

Jean stands suddenly, his stool rocking from the force of it. “Y-yeah, we’ll join!” Sasha hides a snicker behind her hand.

Eren stands, too, between Armin and Hange, who are still chatting. He looks down at you and says your name like a question. “You coming?”

You find yourself shaking your head again. “I’m so crossed, I think if I even look at a couch I’ll fall asleep. And I, uh,” you yawn, slipping your phone out of a back pocket to check the time. 12:11 AM. “I should be getting home.”

It’s earlier than when you would normally call it quits, but suddenly all you can think about is going home and falling into Levi’s clean, soft-smelling sheets. Plus, it’s the Saturday preceding finals week and tonight was only meant to blow off steam between intense days of studying.

“You stayin’?” You bump Hange with your shoulder, and she looks around at you with wide eyes as though she forgot you were there.

“Hmm?”

“You stayin’ for the movie?”

“We’re watching It: Chapter Two,” Armin supplies, eyes crinkled in excitement.

Hange’s eyes grow impossibly wider behind her glasses and she grabs your elbow a little too hard. “You wouldn’t mind, right? I’ve been meaning to watch it.”

You smile and shake your head. “Wouldn’t mind at all. You stay, I’ll call an Uber.”

The whole group starts migrating in the lazy way drunk and high people do: Mikasa helps Sasha with the snacks; Eren and Jean grab canned drinks from the fridge; Armin and Hange gravitate towards the door, talking fast with words you’ve never heard before. You stay sitting at the island, tapping away at your phone to order a car.

When you stand to find the front door, your high hits you from behind like a fuckin’ baseball bat and you sway dangerously. You whistle through your teeth, low and soft, planting a hand on the counter. Sasha looks over at you in concern, her arms full.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, I just… what is in that dab pen?”

She laughs, head tilting back. “Good shit, right? Got that one new last week.”

“For real…” you trail off, getting your bearings.

“Here,” Mikasa starts, piling even more food into Sasha’s arms, “I’ll walk you out. Levi would skin me if he knew I didn’t make sure your driver’s not an ax murderer.”

Normally, you’d protest, but the room really is starting to spin.

“Okay,” you sigh and allow her to hook your arm through hers. She’s surprisingly solid, and you find yourself leaning heavily into her. “How’re you still sober?”

“I don’t drink or smoke,” she answers, gently pushing past Armin standing in the doorway. “Doesn’t affect me, anyway, so it’d just be a waste of money.”

“Huh,” you grunt, then twist to wave to the group. “Night, everyone.”

A replying chorus of “goodnight” chases you and Mikasa through the dark foyer littered with drunken party-goers. 

“Oh, wait,” she pauses with a hand on the doorknob. “Did you bring a jacket?”

“Oh,” you wrinkle your nose and think back to getting ready in the afternoon. It had been unseasonably warm and your coat didn’t match your outfit. “No, I didn’t bring one.”

Mikasa gives you an odd look and deposits you by the door. “I’ll be right back.”

Your body feels light as you lean back, tucking your hands into your armpits so they don’t float away. Your eye catches on movement in the dark shadows by the staircase and you squint, trying to see who’s there. It takes a second, but you eventually make out a pair of people, well… making out. They’re completely absorbed in each other, bodies impossibly close and you giggle quietly to yourself before your stomach rolls. No, don’t think about… too late.

You shut your eyes tight and turn away from the couple to lean sideways against the wall. The image is too similar, too gut-punchingly familiar.

“Didn’t mean what? Didn’t mean to stick your tongue down my best friend’s throat? Didn’t mean to practically fuck your best friend’s girlfriend in public?”

The biting words and stuttered apologies are still rolling around in your head when Mikasa comes back, thick puffer coat in hand. She hands it to you and you mutter a subdued “thanks,” twitching to dislodge the dull pain that’s settled in your ribs.

“It’s Eren’s, but he won’t mind. He doesn’t wear this one a lot, and you can just give it back next time we see you.”

“Right,” you nod, head moving a little too easily as you slip your arms in and fumble with the zipper. The faux fur around the hood tickles your face as Mikasa flips it up over your head. She’s clearly experienced in the art of taking care of intoxicated people.

Outside, you’re grateful you bundled up because the temperature has dropped significantly since the afternoon. Chilly December wind bites at your face and you bury your hands in coat pockets to save them from the same fate. Your fingers brush against something cold and metallic, and before you know it you’re pulling out a fistful of crumby objects: a super plus tampon, the packaging split down the side; two “for her pleasure” condoms; and, inexplicably, a Hot Wheels matchbox car. An ugly snort escapes your nose and Mikasa looks over at you in alarm. You raise up your fist and she chuckles through her nose as well. Squinting in the dim light of a flickering streetlamp, you find the expiration date on the condoms to be several months ago, so you lean over to a convenient trash can and toss both them and the tampon. The matchbox car returns to the pocket. Who knows, maybe Eren’ll miss it if it’s gone.

Mikasa doesn’t look affected by the cold, only winding her red scarf more securely around her neck as you both quietly wait on the sidewalk for your Uber. A quick glance at the app tells you that it’s three minutes away.

“Are you and Levi close?” You find yourself asking into the night sounds of Greek Row on a Saturday night.

You almost think she doesn’t hear you over the sound of a group spilling out of a neighboring sorority, but then she answers.

“Not particularly. We didn’t grow up together and only connected because of Uncle Kenny a couple years ago.” Her tone is light and casual as she talks about her family, as though you should know who Uncle Kenny is. Should I know who Uncle Kenny is?

“Oh,” is all you can think to say.

“We may not be close,” she starts again, eyeing you closely, “but I think we’re very similar. And I can tell he cares a lot about you.”

“Oh. Right.” Your palms are suddenly sweaty in your pockets.

“He may not show it,” her tone is careful, “But he does.”

You smile faintly and kick your boot against the curb. “He does show it, in his own way. He’s been really good to me.” Somehow, it’s easy to talk about this to Mikasa, even when you get all stuttery and weird having an identical conversation with Hange. Maybe it’s the drugs and alcohol, or maybe it’s because there’s not a hint of judgment in Mikasa’s eyes. Either way, it feels good to speak your feelings into the world.

“Good.” She nods and follows your gaze to where you’re still scuffing the curb. “Some unsolicited advice for you: if you ever want anything besides mutual pining to come out of it, you need to be really obvious. Or make the first move outright.”

This makes you stutter and wring your hands, she just puts it so bluntly. “R-right, the first move…. Oh, I think that’s my car.”

“What’s the license plate number we’re looking for?”

You read it out from the app while Mikasa steps to the back of the blue sedan that just pulled up. She nods, confirming it’s the same, then circles to the driver’s side window, which is cracked open.

“Hi,” you greet the driver, a blonde woman in her late twenties, and confirm her name matches the one in the app before sliding into the back seat. Mikasa leans down to murmur something to her and she nods, glancing back at you in the rearview mirror.

“G’night, Mikasa,” you call out the window. “Thanks for everything. And tell Eren thanks for the jacket.”

She waves as the car pulls away. You settle into the quiet hum of the car and let your mind wander. 

Mutual pining. Make the first move outright….

—

“Mikasa texted me,” Levi says by way of greeting as you stumble out of the car and thank your driver. He’s leaning on a lamp post outside your apartment building when your Uber pulls up, jacket and boots pulled on over flannel pajamas. 

“Levi, stand ominously on the sidewalk often?” you ask, dragging out his name long and sing-song.

“Only for you, kid.” He loops an arm around your waist and steers you towards the entryway

“Not a kid,” you grumble, masking the stutter of your heart at his usual pet name for you. Somewhere in the last couple of weeks, it’s gained a weightier significance, at least to you. It’s endearing and a little distancing and charged all at once and it makes your head spin as you climb the stairs up to your floor.

At your door, Levi unlocks it while you drift slowly in a circle next to him, trying to expend the sudden nervous energy you’ve gained in his presence.

The first move, first move, first move… Mutual pining. Mutual.

“What are you muttering about?”

You hadn’t realized you were thinking out loud.

“Nothing,” you say quickly and pass through the door he’s holding open for you. Your momentum carries you farther than you mean to go, and he catches you by the elbow, reeling you back to the coat rack by the door.

“Whose jacket is that?” He shrugs off his own and eyes the faux fur around your face skeptically.

You fumble with the zipper for a second before he sighs and reaches for it himself, stepping into your space. His face is so close to yours you can feel his breath ghosting over your collarbone as he unzips the jacket.

“Eren’s,” you finally answer. “Look.” You pull the matchbox car out of its pocket and show it to Levi with a wide grin. He stares at it for a second, then the tiniest smile twitches onto his lips.

“He’s a weird kid.” It’s almost fond, with an undertone of exasperation.

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he’s in the art department, too. Graphic design major, marketing minor. I TAed his freshman seminar last year.” Levi slips the coat off your shoulders as he speaks, then hangs it by the loop next to his. 

“Ah, that makes sense,” you muse, wandering farther into the apartment. “He looked terrified when I mentioned you. What’d you do to those poor freshmen?”

“Nothing they didn’t deserve.”

“...ominous,” you hiss, your eyes wide as you let him gently push you into your room. The nervous energy hasn’t quite been expended, and you find your hands wringing with it. Suddenly, you’re rambling about your night as he sits you down on your bed among the laundry that’s taken residence there in its disuse. The stupid song they played at the first frat; Sasha’s excellent food; the blue mystery shot.

“It tasted like turquoise, I swear, Levi! It was like magic!” Your eyes are wide, insistent as you lean forward into his space.

“How does something taste like turquoise?” He ducks his head to avoid your face, fingers untying the knotted laces of your boots.

“You’re the artist, you tell me.”

“I don’t eat my paint.”

“Not even once? Not gonna lie, your paint looks very tasty, sometimes…”

“Are you always this annoying when you’re high?” He tugs the second boot off your foot as you let yourself fall back onto your bed.

“Come on, you love me,” you crow to the ceiling. Mutual pining.

Levi mutters something under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Where do you keep your pajamas?” He stands and looks around your room.

“Middle drawer, left side,” you direct, lazily motioning to your dresser with an arm. Your eyes flutter shut as you listen to Levi pick his way across the floor and slide the drawer open.

Normally, you can get yourself in bed after a night out just fine. Normally, you slip into the apartment making as little noise as possible, and fall into bed without Levi even waking up. But it feels nice to have his steady hands on you when it feels like your organs might start floating apart at any second. It’s anchoring and reassuring and you can feel the safety of being near him lulling you into a doze.

Come on, you love me.

You shoot up to sitting, mind whirling and chest tight. “L-Levi?”

“What.”

“D-do…” Do you love me? “Do you think I’m pretty?” It feels petty in your mouth and you immediately regret the words, but it would be worse to try and take them back, so you just bite your lip and look down at the floor.

A hand plops onto the top of your head. Levi’s gray eyes meet yours, soft with something you can’t describe, when he tilts your head up. He’s quiet for a moment, then reaches his other hand to thumb your bottom lip out from between your teeth.

“I think you’re very pretty.”

--

(read part 5 here)