#definitely for some people
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Ok, here’s what I do.
I’m going to put the description of my visualization meditation under a cut, because I’m fully aware it may disturb people with fairly reasonable triggers.
I don’t know if it will work for anyone who’s not me.
But I’ve been doing this for over two decades to relax my own body, even before my own heading-towards chronic arthritis-induced pain.
There’s a tl;dr at the end, if anyone needs it but still cares.
So, I’m going to give two versions of this, because again I’m sure the one I actually use would squick a lot of people out.
First, get comfortable - whatever that means for you.
For me, that’s raising the head of my adjustable bed, putting a body pillow under my thighs to keep my legs at a good bend, have pillows on either side of my torso to rest my arms, and my weighted blanket arranged so it doesn’t stress my feet/ankles.
Completely by accident, I am recreating a zero gravity chair. Anyway…
image source
Get comfy. If it helps, get some relaxing music or nature sounds.
Now, imagine you’re a robot.
I’m serious, because the visualization is going to be disassembling yourself piece by piece, servicing each, then putting them away in a box.
I start with my feet.
I take off my toes, one by one. Carefully undoing the wiring and screws holding on the metal, gently testing the joints of each toe.
Oil what’s needed, maybe give a light polish, check that there’s nothing gritty clogging anything.
After each toe has been serviced, it goes into a foam box with holes perfectly sized for each.
Now, I service each foot. Then each ankle.
Long muscles tend to go faster, with more care on imagining opening up and servicing each mechanical joint, because as said above arthritis.
The spine is gently popping out each vertebrae, tailbone up, just free and unconstrained from the neighbors.
And, importantly, after each part is services it goes in its prepared box.
It’s not connected to me anymore.
Each mechanical part is all cared for and resting, away from me, turned off.
For me, this visualization leaves each serviced body part - deliciously numb. A faint, heavy white noise static, completely removed as I continue the body scan through my body.
Except, well, when I’m doing it I don’t bother with the entire “robot” distancing.
I’m imagining using fine metal skewers to literally stretch out the muscles laterally, teasing at the nerves until they go limp, popping the bones cleanly and safely apart.
It’s as bloodless and fantastical as the robot version, completely divorced from any biological reality.
And after servicing each loosened body part still goes into a box, away from the still functioning nervous system, away from the core of me.
If it’s my head or brain that needs loosening up, well, more skewers, literally opening up the unrealistic butter slime brain, letting air circulate.
If that fails, well, it’s time to start chopping up into fine cubes. Puree them down, make dough, knead it up like a pizza crust until everything feels homogeneous and diffused.
I’d do it to parts of my body, too, except none of them ever need the escalation like my brain.
Except the neck, that gets the rack treatment sometimes…
Anyway.
No clue if this could be helpful for anyone else.
But TL;DR:
Starting from your toes, pop off each body part in whatever fantasy works for you - robot, ball jointed doll, anatomically correct rag doll - and visualize “servicing” each part. Oil the joints, tighten the elastic, remove and replace the stuffing.
Once each part has been renewed, put it in a box to rest while you continue through the body scan.
Just focus on each body part in turn, imagining analogues to the complaint of each specific part, being completely mindful and present at however small or large a part of your body as you need to.
Then, move on. Each part has been dealt with, and requires no more focus.
Body awareness is absolute shit for chronic illness. “Become aware of your body. Pay attention to how your body feels” great now I’m noticing the bone aching soreness that is permeating my entire body, thanks for that. My mind was automatically filtering that out for my but I sure am aware of it now!
I need like the opposite. I need “leave your body entirely and forget it exists” meditation.
#meditation#mindfulness#body awareness#chronic pain#guided visualization#tw body horror#potentially#definitely for some people#it’s completely clinical and neutral to me#but i’m bizarre
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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.
#katniss everdeen#the hunger games trilogy#the hunger games#primrose everdeen#hunger games#batcavescolony reads the hunger games#suzanne collins#'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl#and this isn't negative just bffr girl#your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is#old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU#...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in#CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the#reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously#shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent#so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to#district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie#and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give#them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like#some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12#cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact#that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good#these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the#hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to#comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but#of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.
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i am compiling a list of Freaknix wright moments bc. i see absolutely no one talking about his. preferences.
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#bro is into some FREAK shit#good for him#he definitely needs therapy though#him and his bisexual tendency to go after the worst types of people#love you guys god bless#miles edgeworth#narumitsu#narumiya#(dahlia not maya)#feenris#krisnix#narugodo#?#nsft mention#// nsft#this is controversial im sorry 😔#i promise im a sweet and innocent pg13 cartoon character#nort speaks
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I believe Fugo and Trish would be besties in the most awkward way possible
#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jjba#jojo part 5#golden wind#vento aureo#pannacotta fugo#trish una#futrish#guido mista#giorno giovanna#ness’ art#first jojo art in a while :^)#I’ve had this in my head for a while. this is very self-indulgent#thinking about how they’d actually interact after fugo returns is something I like thinking about#bc they had some silly moments / like the ones I referenced in the comics / but also#there would definitely be tension since fugo was like ‘why would you guys want to protect someone you just met…’#but I’d like to believe that fugo and trish bond over being people who didn’t have the most confidence at first#and we able to improve their confidence by being forced through adversity (fugo w the events in phf and trish w the latter half of gw)
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modern gambit has two concerns and those are 1.) wife and 2.) cats. I love it
#razpost#marvel#gambit#remy lebeau#i know some people complain about flanderization in comics and it's definitely always a shame when characters get flattened but in this cas#i genuinely feel like that is all he wants out of life. he'd be fine if he got to stay at home and simply exist next to rogue with his cats#and occasionally go punch some people or break into someone's house. i feel like that's all he needs really
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Penelope is also Athena's pet/blorbo/special little mortal/etc. and if you think otherwise you're straight up wrong.
You're also wrong if you think Athena only likes Penelope because of Odysseus and/or Telemachus. As if Athena didn't see a young Penelope pull some shit and immediately think "Oh! Another mind to mold! C'mere you! Let's do some riddles and weaving!". Athena was happy that two of her favorite pets have met and fell in love!
#maybe even Athena introduced them! idk#I mean c'mon. Pen is KNOWN for her weaving AND her Cunning and she basically knew that was Odysseus that was in disguise#Athena had to make Penelope go to sleep because she was sad AND she would've figured shit out.#Idc who Athena favored first but Athena definitely favored Penelope even before she was married. I will die/kill on that hill#everytime I see someone minimize/erase/devalue/etc. Penelope I want to bash my head against the wall.#*bangs pots and pans together in rage*#I think some of you only like Penelope because Odysseus likes her :') not all but... enough that it makes me sad.#like I've noticed some people only like my odysseus posts and not my Penelope ones. and oof. ;~; that tells me a lot😞#like yes. she's a bit of an enigma...AND THAT'S THE POINT. She's so intelligent that she's tricking the narrator/audience AND Odysseus!#Mad rambles#penelope#penelope of ithaca#penelope odyssey#penelope of sparta#Water Wife#odyssey#the odyssey#greek mythology#tagamemnon#athena#epic the musical#shot by odysseus#essay
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My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)
The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!
Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.
The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)
Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c
As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!
And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.
I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.
Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)
#my art#cosplay#biting the hand that feeds au#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#bhtf moondrop#i had such a good time#little awkward moments of me being autistic and not reading social cues and/or having trouble processing didn't go anywhere#but that's okay#i don't think i was ever complimented as much as i was complimented at the con so that's a W#artist alley was definitely an experience of me just finding out how actually autistic i am#because i really Am Not Interested in anything aside from my special interests#literally got myself a singular Moon sticker and a singular Mothman print#that's it lmfaooo#i also had people come up to me to just give me a tiny plastic newborn toy and run away#10/10 hilarious#bhtf au#i MIGHT just draw Moon in some of those poses because 👀#also maybe will make a separate post just showing off all of the details that are not as noticeable on camera? maybe? if yall would want#the cape and the hat ARE SO FUCKING FLUFFY#thank you silvermizuki for the fur🫵
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#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#kim kitsuragi#harrier du bois#harry du bois#this is probably one of my fav conversations in the game...#sad that not many people get to see it(?) cause you need like 7 in empathy?#comics#comic art#trans#cw blood#blood#cw smoking#my first time making a comic i hope it looks okay lmao#ough i have so many thoughts about kim and his complicated relationship with his name#im interpreting the dialogues in a very transgender way but its definitely about his racial identity too#cause its a *seolite* name#another factor of him not being seen as a revacholian#and its one of the only things he has left of his parents too#i wonder if the name kim is seen as more masculine or feminine in seol and in other isolas?#im definitely *not* projecting haha#i read once in a fic that kim *attempted* to translate his parents' letters when he was young#10/10 fic made me cry#thats why i decided to add the seolite dictionary - i dont think kim would have *tried* to learn seolite otherwise#he definitely has some kind of internalized racism he needs to get over#sorry for rambling#my art
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I'm ngl i kinda wish people wouldn't look at a character I create, see that they're mean, and then immediately assume by default they're actually super tragic and a sad woobie. And I'm not even saying this to be like "people need to appreciate 2-dimensional villains!" because I don't agree with those people either.
It's like if a character is a jerk, it either needs to be justified with a sad backstory, or they need to be a saturday morning cartoon villain. it can't just be a part of their personality.
#txt#like the amount of people who seem to think scylla is going to be revealed as this poor battered puppy who needs love is... a Lot#there's not much to really indicate it. its just expected for some reason.#and to be clear i do really enjoy both interpretations (if handled well).#i definitely think powers fits the former and luvart fits the latter.#but we gotta accept that sometimes a jerk character is just. a jerk. they may have their own reasonings for it. but it doesnt need to be#tragic or unfounded. sometimes people are assholes for cultural reasons or different views. whats cruel to us isnt cruel to them. etc
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OMG EGO HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOOK 7 CATER CARD YET
80s britpunk Cater is such an incredible direction to take. his Sid Vicious jacket! his little british police cap! I wouldn't have anticipated that going full-on Sex Pistols would be his alternate self but it is SO fitting actually. 😭
(also th-the crown symbol?! the gavel?! is housewarden Cater real because I will TRANSCEND --)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#oh so we're just getting the heartsboys immediately huh#I AM NOT COMPLAINING NO SIR#god though. i haven't recovered from leona yet and already they're throwing this at us#c8ter the sk8ter boi#cannot express how much british punk cater is such a chef's-kiss concept though 🤌🤌🤌#like. okay. i'm gonna get into some personal character interpretation here so disclaimer that these are just my own ~opinions~ etc#but i read cater as being not so much secretly angsty as like...secretly just kinda jaded?#like i think him being pretty upbeat and cheery in general is genuine (or at least mostly genuine)#but he's also very aware of how people see him and he plays into that#like his personality isn't FAKE but he's definitely playing parts of it up#and trying to maintain a certain image that he thinks is expected of him#so expressing that as 'he's a punk undercover as a prep' is actually kinda perfect in my mind#i mean i could be entirely missing the mark here and we'll get something totally different#(in like. a couple of weeks or so. what the HECK twst)#buuuuut yeah punk cater is such a great concept to me and i am very excited to meet him!!!!#oh also hi tamashina-mina deuce you're here too i guess#alas we have run out of time so we'll have to catch up later
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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To every trans person realizing their gender makes them straight:
You are good. Not despite your sexuality but because of it. Please don’t let yourself be ashamed about it.
There are queer people who say male heterosexuality is disgusting. There are queer people who say female heterosexuality is stupidity. There are queer people who will laugh about how silly and nasty it would be to be straight only to halfheartedly say “oh I guess trans straight people are the exception!” There are transphobes who pretend they’d care more about you if you just admit to your internalized homophobia/lesbophobia and stop being trans.
They’re all so fucking wrong. You are good for who you love. You are not ‘one of the good ones’, you are just simply good. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot.
You have a place in the queer community. You belong there as much as anyone else
#transhet#i definitely needed someone to tell me this when i was figuring out my gender#and no one really did#and so today I’ll say it just in case some other people need to hear it#queerhet
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I feel like the Robins probably watched horror movies to really up their game, taking notes on the gestures and body language that would creep you out. "Criminals are a superstitious lot", so yeah the guy in full body armour that could beat you up would suck, but a small child, somewhere in the dark, with an echoing laugh all around you as you fire off a hail of bullets, somehow dodging everything and gleefully messing you up. That's psychological warfare.
#I love when people add cryptid lore to the batfam#so I one hundred percent see some of the robins as some scary as fuck trickster stuff before they evolve into something else#batman#batfamily#dc robins#did stephanie giggle? Idk but I'm adding her to the roster of terrifying child hero#dick grayson#jason todd#dami definitely wouldn't giggle#but he'd spook you in that inescapable relentlessly spooky unaffected ghost kid way#dc comics#tim seems like he'd do some unhinged shit#tim drake#steph brown
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okay but jjk somnophilia is like
gojo "please please pleaaaaase let me put it in while you're sleeping PLEASE i swear i'll make you cum i proooomise please let's try it once pleeaaase. YOU can put it in ME whenever you want!!! any time any place anything you want in any of my holes!! wake me up with it!! it'll be soooo hot" satoru
vs
nanami "i have kink charts for both of us and they have sliding scales and notes section for each one. we can mark hard boundaries for what state of consciousness we want for ourselves or our partners, giving or receiving, what sex acts, etc. we'll set up a safe word and a safe gesture and then we can start trying things out" kento
vs
geto "sorry i fell asleep while eating you out, it will happen again. no, i won't stop eating you out when i fall unconscious. just tear me off your pussy if you don't like it" suguru
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk imagines#satoru gojo#kento nanami#suguru geto#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo smut#nanami smut#geto smut#i am NOT a nanami girlie do not start expecting nanami content from me. however he is very funny and i love his contrast with gojo LMAOOO#to be clear gojo would not be bugging you about this unless he'd already confirmed you were into it#gojo is probably off putting for some people here but i frankly think he'd just be that desperate and pleading and thats super hot to me#geto tho. geto's just hilarious#again if you're not into somno just don't read this it aint for u. gojo will sound really pushy and creepy#tw: somnophilia#honestly i think nanami would pass out during/before sex just like geto but a lot of the nanami girlies aren't ready for that#the man is like 27 and he looks 40 AND he looked like this when he was??? 23 or smth??#nanami can definitely go super hard during sex but sometimes he will pass out on your lap while eating you out. man is tired.#lemon#sorry for the excess of tags this is such a short little thing and i kinda like how smol it is so i have to ACTUALLY tag tag it lol
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chilaios telepathy compilation. btw.
also these ones arent telepathy i just think its fun that they defend eachother + are on the same page about alchohol :
#chilaios#theres probably/definitely more instances of them doing telepathy but ive already stalled so much time for doing my work so#yall can add the ones i missed#dungeon meshi spoilers#????? i guess??????#anyways this is why im insane about that “laios... you get it right?!” line because like. he usually does get it. they get eachother.#theyve reached a point where they can have a whole PLAN sorted out by looking at eachother.#of course chil would desperately hope that LAIOS would be the guy to understand#laios the one chil understands. laios the one who tries so hard to understand chil. laios the one who brings chilchuck out of his spiraling#when no one else will.#of course HE would get it. of course. LAIOS will get it. LAIOS will see through that weird fake. he doesnt see him that way.#..........right?#OH i want to convert some people with this actually so im gonna main tag#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#: ) hello dungeon meshi fandom. in front of you is a table with the papers required to convert into a chilaios shipper. you have 30 seconds#to sign them and if you dont i will personally apologize for wasting your time
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Also have another “first words spoken to you are on your skin” soulmate AU idea where Kara is a journalist assigned to shadow the controversial CEO of L-Corp for the day. It’s a big deal for her to get this assignment, so of course she trips the second she’s near the other woman and tries awkwardly to redeem herself.
The CEO stares at her almost in shock, and then says nothing. At all. Ever, for the entire day.
Kara spends hours following Lena Luthor around trying to fill the silence, but no amount of questions get her to talk. Lena almost seems to be running away at some points - like she’s trying to lose her? - and the few times she’s managed to catch her actually talking to someone she goes silent the second she sees Kara.
She asks around if Miss Luthor is usually like this and everyone looks at her like she’s crazy. Apparently she’s the only one who gets the silent treatment. By the end of her first day shadowing she’s walking away with half a page of observations and not a single quote. Miss Grant is going to kill her.
But that’s okay. It’s fine, this isn’t over. She has four days of shadowing ahead of her and she’ll be damned if she doesn’t finish this with a quote from the woman herself. It’s only a matter of time.
#what if you were an over stressed billionaire who feels like your existence must be a constant apology for the sins of your family#and you’re about to be followed around and studied by some no named baby reporter sent from a fashion magazine#you’re battling the migraine of a century you have five crises to settle all at once and also that baby reporter just said your words#the ones you’ve carried for the last decade - the ones you’ve feared and hoped for ever since#and it’s wonderful probably - this is what people dream of - but the problem is you just don’t have time for this#you can’t have your big soulmate moment#not right now. definitely not with this reporter. it’s not the right time#so I guess those words will just have to wait until it is time#if you can someone manage to resist. it’ll be hard#she does seem like someone it’d be really easy to talk to after all#good luck to you both#soulmate AU#Supercorp#fun shenanigan that I shan’t be writing#mine
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