#deep diving into Adam

[essayist-unexpectedly]

Adam from Sk8 wasn’t grooming Miya or Langa, he just wants the perfect skateboarding partner.

Also Reki is the 3rd wheel (but it’s just a metaphor)

I have a few things to address here, so this'll be a long one sorry

the first thing is what grooming is on a technical level

Grooming, as defined by the Oxford Dictionary is "the practice of preparing or training someone for a particular purpose or activity." Another definition from the Oxford Dictionary, more aligned with what you mean is that Grooming is "the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them or inducing them to commit an illegal act such as selling drugs or joining a terrorist organization."

while my essay does talk about the idea of romantic grooming with Miya, due to my belief that Adam has romantic ideals with Eve, it could still fit the bounds of the first definition. Miya being groomed by Adam can still be fitting as simply him being groomed into the purpose of being Eve as a skating partner. Miya can be seen as being groomed for the purpose of keeping up with Adam and being Eve, as Adam did keep an eye on Miya, had contact with him, influence over him, and a connection with him. it may not have been the creepy romantic connection that I think is possible, but Adam still created that link with him and Miya.

by building a bond and watching over Miya, Adam can still be read as possibly grooming Miya into Eve. he was influential over Miya while being a powerful adult. it may not have been romantic, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't creepy and that the subtext of grooming isn't there.

and on Langa - I don't think he was grooming him, I think he was outright harassing him. the touching, the stalking (as in the videos he played on loop of Langa at S), the way he spoke to him, all of that feels more like harassment than just grooming. even though it wasn't aggressive in the way of violence, it was aggression in the way of assertiveness - he wouldn't back down.

second thing, I'm not the type to not explain why I believe something, so below outlines the reasons I believe that Adam has romantic intent with his Eve

the first thing is the actual implications of him calling himself Adam and his goal being to find his Eve. Biblically, Adam and Eve were the first man and woman, made as the perfect partners. they were also married, a romantic connection, not platonic. while Adam may be searching for someone who's the perfect skateboarding partner, I am not about to ignore how he is using a romantic couple to describe his desire. like most things in Adam's character, his name and who he is looking for are chosen for a reason. by taking on the title of Adam searching for Eve, he is saying that he is a man who is looking for his other half, he is a man looking for his wife. he could have gone with a platonic duo - he could have been Apollo looking for Artemis, that would give him the sense of looking for someone who he would consider a twin in skating skill, a twin is also an equal. just, there are other options when looking for a duo, rather than Adam and Eve who have a romantic relationship as husband and wife. it doesn't give off a "I'm looking for a solely platonic skating partner who can keep up with me" but a "I'm looking for someone who can be my partner in skiing and life" vibe.

Another thing is that Adam has a strong motif surrounding love. His moves are called things like "Love Hug" and "Full-Swing Kiss", and his nickname is "the Matador of Love". to me, all of this screams that his whole thing is love - and more specifically romance. these names were deliberately chosen, just like his name was, and when they're combined they don't come off as platonic. also on the romantic sense of his motif, is that his costume. the costume Adam wears is red, the colour of passion, love, and sexuality. it also has love hearts on both his belt and his mask. I want to clarify that I say "love heart" because that is what it's called, a heart would be the one we have in our chest even if the love heart is the popularized heart. everything here symbolizes love, and not the platonic kind. platonic love is symbolized with yellow roses or more commonly the colour pink, which also represents love but also innocence. finally, with the love motif, is his skateboard. the skateboard Adam rides has the word "love" on the top, designs of a heart in numerous locations, with the main painting on the bottom being of a heart, and says "til death do us part" on the bottom. already, it follows his love and heart theme, but the most important evidence to romance specifically is the bottom having a wedding vow on it - as "til death do us part" is a part of wedding vows, meaning the wedded couple will love each other until one of them dies.

Third, is Adam's own actions and his words. the first thing that comes to my mind that shows romantic intent is the roses he gives to Langa. more specifically, Adam gives Langa red roses - in flower language, red roses mean passion, romantic love, and desire. they can also mean true love and devotion. if Adam wanted to say that he was platonic towards his longing to Langa, he should've used yellow roses, as they do symbolize platonic love. the scene of him coming up to Langa and dramatically presenting him red roses right before the race, already seems romantic with the intent to court him. the line of him in the sub saying that they represent "passionate love" does not help. the second thing I can think of is literally the first time they interact, when Adam talks about Langa's footing. the way he stands over him, leaning in and the smirk - all of it is too close. then, if Reki hadn't said anything, Adam likely would've continued gesturing over Langa's leg, and maybe moved to possibly actually touching him while Langa doesn't yet consent. even without actually touching him, the motions are creepy enough - the scene is shrouded in darkness, and gives a less than okay feeling. there are also the lines I mention Adam outright saying to Miya in my essay, about falling in love with those he skates against. while yeah, you can say you fall in love platonically, given the other parts of Adam, it seems more likely he means it romantically towards skaters who are a challenge to him.

all of these things pile up to make me believe that Adam does not view Eve as a platonic skating partner. Adam and Eve were completely romantic, Adam's naming and costume motifs are very romantic love orientated, and his own actions towards Langa - who he considers his Eve - come across as courting and romantic.

finally, on Reki being the third wheel

Reki is the protagonist. you consume the story from his point of view. that includes his self worth issues and his feeling like that third wheel. because of this, Reki does come off as the third wheel, when arguably, Adam would be the actual third wheel in that trio.

looking outside of Reki, Langa, and Adam, there are many trios and third wheels. Young Adam, Cherry, and Joe have Joe as a third wheel and as adults Adam can be seen as the third wheel there. Langa, Reki, and Miya have Miya as a third wheel. there are so many third wheel type trios that can be built up within Sk8 the Infinity, that you can identify more than one.

Reki, Langa, and Adam are the main third wheel trio. Reki and Langa are a duo with Adam as a third wheel. this is because Reki and Langa are best friends, they're meant to be together to compliment and uplift each other. Adam can act as a third wheel here because he's the one trying to steal Langa's attention, who persuades Langa to race him and then kind of forces him into it because of the competition that he sets up. yet, in Reki's point of view, he's the third wheel because Langa and Adam are such talented skaters and he cannot keep up with them, therefore falling behind. Reki is the third wheel because he doesn't think he'll be able to beat Adam or Langa ever, not realizing that his skating skills don't matter to Langa.

the perspective of a story is what matters.

shifting that perspective to Langa, Miya, and Adam - as I did - gives you a new trio to inspect. this is the trio of two extremely talented skaters, and the skater who has talent but just falls short. Miya becomes the third wheel because he's a prodigy just like the other two, but he's lost passion and stopped working hard on his skating, which in turn holds the potential that Adam lost interest in him because of that. then, Adam saw Langa and his current passion, and switched his focus to him, putting Langa on the pedestal that is Eve, the pedestal that Miya might have been originally meant for before he lost his passion.

the trios and their third wheels all depend on who you are focusing on and what aspects of their characters you are looking at. that is what I was able to write an essay centring around Miya and his being left behind as an Eve candidate

my last thing is simply that I am an analyst. I look at characters, I look at motifs, I look at the text and the subtext of media. through this, I build my thoughts, my opinions, my ideas, just as anyone else does. when I watched Sk8 the Infinity, I found hints towards grooming towards Miya, harassment to Langa, and romantic feelings towards the concept of Eve from Adam. anyone else can watch it and see what I see or see something completely different, it all depends on the person and how they look at the text and subtext.

thank you for the ask, I actually enjoyed writing all of this out, it gave me a chance to go even deeper into Adam's characters and intents which I never thought to make a proper essay of. not that this is a proper essay, but it is a full response with reasoning still. hope that this explains why I wrote my essay on Adam grooming Miya, and provides an interesting and new look at the character.

[bloogers-boogers]

22/0*/20**

"When have I ever been given mercy? I've been afraid of these terrors ever since my fall. Living in a make believe we're I'm superior and better than anyone else in this hell hole, you've only shown me how better you are when it comes to being a person. You show mercy to those who don't deserve it. Like me. Your judgment surpasses any other, equal to heaven, hell and humans. They're equal for you. And takes a lot of gut to see or admit. Dangerous even. It's your best and worst quality."

"I'm no king. I was meant to dream, bring hope, not be someone to follow. Nothing would make me more happier and proud than the day I retire and give the crown to the true ruler of hell.

My daughter Charlie Morningstar."

22/0*/ 00** BC

"I was not meant to be king, why do this to me, father? Why me? This has been by far your first mistake. Nothing would make me happier than to give up the throne and pass down the crown to the true ruler of heaven.

My brother Michael Morningstar."

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[edgecation]

dummy (affectionate)

[mastergeeka]

I said I had notebooks worth of thoughts dedicated to this bit and I wasn’t kidding. I may be a clown but I’m a clown of my word. How many people requested this? Honestly not many, but I tend to crumble at the slightest bit of peer pressure when it comes to bits. I was going to make this a whole video essay, and I still might at some point, but I have so many other videos I want to do, an essay will have to suffice for now.

The bit in question, the first rule of Board Game Club #98 from Sniper Elite The Board Game (Thank you to the Patreon Discord for help counting!). The first rule of Board Game Club is "there's always something to envy: a smile, a friendship, something you don't have and want to appropriate, *beat* Sullivan." Adam then proceeds to pull a little smirky face before he launches into the rules because of course he does. It’s also relevant to note that Adam delivers the line with his weird “I’m a magnificent smarmy bastard ooh I’m trying to be sexy” voice/schtick. It’s hit or miss with me, sometimes it makes me want to bury my face in my hands, but here the absurdity is just funny.

While I or any other NRB viewer probably won’t recognise where this quote originates, the emphasis on Sullivan and accompanying smarmy face/Bond villain persona lets us know “Ah another bit in the series of ‘Adam & Sullivan are in love despite Brooke’s protests’ gags”. You learn about this gag very quickly watching NRB videos with Brooke or frankly just from the NRB wiki. It’s the first gag listed and Sullivan is still the answer Google gives you if you look up who Adam from NRB is dating. It’s still astounding to me how far the bit goes.

For most viewers, the joke ends there. Adam is once again trying to steal Brooke’s boyfriend, haha. They might correctly assume “That first bit is just a quote from some WWII movie to tie in the WWII theme of the game” and move on. They might even get curious as to what movie it is, and find it‘s from the 2001 movie Enemy at the Gate, but that’s probably where their curiosity stops if they even get that far. Because it’s an intro gag of a board game video. This is all heavily treaded ground for them and it takes up less than 45 seconds. How much time, energy, and thinking space are you going to dedicate to a small bit like that?

If you’re me, the answer, of course, is entirely too much because there’s something wrong with me, psychologically. It may not be that deep but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig. Now, for the record, the “Adam & Sullivan are dating” bit at this point in time is already living rent-free, utilities included, in my brain. It seemed like by a certain point, everyone was in on it, all the time. It became ubiquitous, as this particular bit shows. This episode does not feature Brooke. Brooke’s name is not even mentioned but we still gotta hammer home that boyfriend bit, somehow. Also, at this point in my NRB fan journey, I was under the impression that this bit came to be as a way of teasing Brooke. For the record, I have now learned this is not really the case because these two have had this “vibe”, “chemistry” or whatever you wanna call it from day dot and they have kept it up this whole time. Had I known that, maybe I wouldn’t have let this bit send me so far down a rabbit hole. Maybe, I could have just chalked it up to “those kooky boys are kooky” and left it there.

“BUT I DIDN’T DO THAT!” (It’s amazing that I still believe I’m funny. ) The point is Brooke is not here, so I was mystified by Adam’s choice to go with this bit. In the beginning of the episode no less, where there may be potential new viewers who aren’t familiar with the love triangle thing at all and are just going to be thrown off. Questioning Adam’s choices is, of course, one of my favourite hobbies because not only do I think he’s batshit insane (affectionate), but I’m also fascinated by the comedic creative process. “How did you come up with this shit? How did we get here?”

This is where I start actually exploring the source of this quote because while it seems like the Sullivan was an add-on, I did entertain the idea it wasn’t and that was how we got here. Well, the film is set in Russia and all the characters have Russian names so that’s a no. The main character is a sniper so there’s that but that just strengthens the connection I already understood. It still didn’t explain why Adam decided “You know what this video about a WWII inspired board game needs. It needs me being very gay for my best friend. That’s really important”

So I look into the context of the quote hoping to find some answers and while I do find answers, I also find a bajillion more questions. Both the speaker, Danilov and the main character Zaitsev, who the speaker is addressing, are in a love triangle together, much like the setup we have of Adam, Sullivan, and Brooke. Hooray, connection found, end of story. Except no, not end of story. The line Adam says is not the full quote. The full quote is ‘We tried so hard to create a society that was equal, where there'd be nothing to envy your neighbour. But there's always something to envy. A smile, a friendship, something you don't have and want to appropriate. In this world, even a Soviet one, there will always be rich and poor.”

EXCUSE ME!? This has been about Communism this whole time?! It just gets stranger from here so strap in. This line is said to the speaker’s rival love interest, not their mutual target of affection, a woman named Tania. Which yeah this film was made in 2001, probably not gonna see a lot of gay relationships on screen. So does that mean Adam is supposedly addressing Brooke in this reenactment? Sure, okay. I guess I can accept that for now

Next crazy piece of context, circling back to the Communism thing again for a moment. The speaker, Danilov, has been a huge believer in building a Soviet Communist Utopia after the war up until apparently right fucking now. His crush friend-zoned him for his friend, the main character Zaitsev, and that makes him decide, “Damn guess Communism will never work. The economic system of Communism doesn’t work because I’d still be crushing on my friend’s girl.” I’m sorry, that’s an absolutely bonkers reason to ditch your whole worldview of what an ideal society can and should look like. Just insane. Once again, this dynamic is the one Adam chose to relate to his, Sullivan, and Brooke’s relationship. Think about that.

Last but certainly not least in “What Huh?! This is the type of energy you’re gonna bring to your board game video?!” section. Right after the speaker, Danilov, the role that Adam is playing in this weird analogy that HE CREATED, remember he chose this, says this line, he fucking dies. It’s the same scene, too. He says the thing and then he dies, right in front of the main character. He sacrifices himself for the main character, presumably so the main character and Tania, who would be Sullivan in this scenario, can live happily ever after or something. I didn’t watch the whole goddamn movie okay. Apparently it’s not a great movie. It doesn’t seem that popular of a movie either, so that's another reason to pick literally any other movie set around WWII or deals with Nazis. There’s a freaking ton of those. It’s a very popular setting. You had options, my guy, so why are we doing this?

Knowing all of that, let’s go back to the Board Game Club moment since I now am able to know what Adam is referencing. And Adam expects some people to know what he’s referencing otherwise what’s the fucking point of making the reference, right?

Maybe the sick knowledge that someday, some idiot is gonna start looking into it and get real fucking confused and you know what, if that was your goal. You succeeded, Gold star, mate. Here ya go.

But let’s assume this wasn’t a twisted mind game to spite me specifically because Adam surely has better things to do with his time, surely. He expects some people to watch that bit knowing that context. What was his intended reaction from those people and how is the reaction not “Hey what the fuck, What the fuck?!” ? Because, whether you know the NRB love triangle bit or not, those are a character’s last words, despairing about the impossibility of Communism because he got friend-zoned, and this is a board game comedy video. Those aren’t exactly what I’d call “compatible”

And you know what’s also not compatible with that quote? BOND VILLAINY, TRYING TO BE SEXY, ACTING LIKE AN ARCHETYPAL CHESSMASTER MAGNIFICENT BASTARD FUCKING ANY PART OF ADAM’S WHOLE DELIVERY! So anyone familiar with the quote, especially someone who doesn’t know about Adam’s love for pretending to be a “sexy evil genius” before his hubris inevitably runs him over like a truck, is going to be very thrown! That poor hypothetical new viewer is even more confused than I am right now!

I’ve said this for a while now. If the day ever comes where I am able to meet Adam, I want to sit him down and just ask him questions and most if not all of those questions will start with “How and Why (in the absolute fuck) did you *insert insane thing here*? And let me tell you this will be at the top of that list. Not the very top though, that’s reserved for the LOTB 2022 promos. “Adam the box why the box why the everything with the box, like obviously the tongue is just, what the hell but even the build up with the other boxes why?”

Now, after having done this whole deep dive investigation, I have come upon the likely possibility that Adam just googled WW2 sniper film, picked out Enemy at the Gates from the first few results, picked a quote from the movie and went from there. There’s a chance he never thought about it this hard and I went on this long journey for no real reason. But even in that case, all of these implications are still here and they are insane implications for a comedy board game video! At the end of the day, he still compared his jokingly homo-erotic relationship with his friend and rivalry with said friend’s partner to this movie as the intro to a YouTube video and I refuse to become desensitised to this level of insanity and wackiness. I just refuse.

[strqyr]

everyone knows about the foreshadowing of "crushed by the weight of the world" and ironwood, but what follows is "the pillars collapse in shame" with adam and white fang, and right on shame the focus is on adam, turning and looking down, and then in the flashback adam wasn't willing to sacrifice his men for a human cause but gets threatened to do so anyway so when i say i'm going to take this for my au and run and never look back i mean it.

[originemesis]

// couple highlights from a great character deep dive ~

The masks of the exorcists are designed after the imps in hell, so it could be surmised that the masks are designed as a form of mockery towards those the angels are coming to kill much like how Valik from the Conjuring universe takes the form of a nun to mock God.

When Adams wearing that mask- he's loud, confident and totally unafraid. But as Alastor said when he described 'masking': "you never know what's going on underneath. A smile is a powerful tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control." Once that fortification is demolished, so too is his strength.

Adam is one character that (if only subtly) breaks the 4th wall, which in fiction, apart from 'self aware' stories (ex: emperor's new groove / space balls / ferris bueller, means the character doing the breaking is - on a technical level, clinically insane (ex: Deadpool).

Which fits the characterization outline of 'a broken individual with an inflated ego turning into a sadistic killer as time goes on. It fits the characterization of most of the villains made in the last decade where they burn down an orphanage with everyone inside and when asked as to why they did it, they say something like 'because my mother yelled at me when I was five' or 'because the wifi in my plane wasn't free'!! or something as equally tragic /j.

He's not on the same level as Lute is with this type of thing because she can apparently say things that leave even him speechless.

The smile he gives to Lute when he dies- a smile is likely not going to be worn by anyone that gets run through 20 to 30 times (even if a hot goth chick is standing over them). The ending of Dracula has a similar scene in which after the count is staked, Mina recalls in her journal: "I shall be glad as long as I live that in that moment of final dissolution, there was in the face a look of peace, such as I could have never imagine might have rested there." Which in conjecture with the theory that he has been concealing a broken state behind the rock star persona, killing sprees, and mask- you could say that in this moment that a burden has been lifted from his shoulders. And perhaps having someone (in this case - a woman) actually giving a damn about his well being as compared to his first two wives, may have softened the blows and allowed him to move on.

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

Deep Dive: The whole story about Jessica Biel’s infamous March 2000′s Gear Magazine cover, 7th heaven and it consequences

If you are old enough to be around the time 7th Heaven aired on TV, you must have heard about Jessica Biel’s scandalous photoshoot by Frank W. Ockenfels for Gear Magazine released right after her 18th birthday.

What you have heard or remember: Jessica was unhappy with her role in 7th Heaven and wanted to be fired so she posed naked for Gear Magazine. And it got her fired from the show. What actually happened: Not exactly what you think. She regretted doing that photoshoot pretty soon, felt like she was taken advantage by the industry, took a break and went to College on the East Coast. Let’s dive in the past for more accurate informations.

May 1999: During Season 3, 17 year old Jessica was pretty open how unhappy she was with the role of Mary Camden. Back then TV actors had to sign a 6 year contract, they can’t leave or renenogiate their salary until thoses 6 years were over. Jessica signed that contract when she was 14. It was her first role.

“Mary’s totally cool and all, but dude, don’t just turn yourself in. She has this conscience thing. She’ll do something and feel so guilty. It works for the show because it teaches lessons like ‘Don’t lie,’ but sometimes it’s not real. I don’t think I’d be confessing. I’d be like, I’m not saying a thing.” - Young & Mondern, May 1999

Jessica already got in trouble for cuting her hair in 1998 during season 3. It was forbidden in her contract. But the Gear photoshoot was another level.

“I cut my hair the day before the season started. I was sick of it. I’d had long hair forever. I’d told everybody I wanted to cut it, but they said they were happy with it and it looked good. It was in my contract, but I just took it into my own hands. The producers were pissed. I told them, ‘Hey, it grows back.’ But they didn’t see it that way.”- Young & Mondern, May 1999

March 2000: Jessica wanted to break her “good girl” image from 7th Heaven and posed naked for adult magazine Gear. It was kind of rite of passage for 90s actresses at the time (Before her, Melissa Joan Hart for Maxim in 1999). The show producers were not happy, it didn’t fit the religious family show image. 7th Heaven was the most watched TV series ever on the WB (above  Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dawson’s Creek, Charmed, Felicity,,...). It holds the record for the WB’s most watched hour at 12.5 million viewers; 19 of the WB’s 20 most watched hours were from 7th Heaven.

She also talks about how out of touch 7th writers were with teens stories. Aaron Spelling, the most powerful TV producer at the time (Dynasty, Charlie's Angels, Beverley Hills, Merlose Place, Charmed,..) told her he “owns her” when the producers didn’t want to accommodate her schedule to film a movie.

She characterizes the show's writers as being hopelessly out of touch with a teen’s reality. She cites an episode where her sister complains about Mary sticking her feet out of the car window. Her retort: “Hey, I've got to air out my dogs.” Or another show where her 21-year-old brother’ girlfriend says she feels uncomfortable doing laundry together because they handle each other's underwear. “Come on, Jesse says, rolling her eyes. - Gear, 2000

“I own you” - Aaron Spelling to Jessica Biel

During season 4 (1999/2000), since Jessica was openly critizing the writers, you can see the change with her character. Mary went from the smart athletic sister receiving awards for sports and education in episode 5 to the rebellious daughter with bad grades who trash the gym in episode 8 (!) .

Jessica was vocal about the importance of education and the wish to go to college in the East Coast during that time.

She did the photoshoot to be fired?...Maybe. Was she fired?...No.

Even though the Gear interview hightligh her wanting to leave the show thanks to the photoshoot, she also say if she really wanted to leave she would just shave her head and dye it in blue.

Could these photos get her fired? “I hope so,” she says lightly. “Actually, if I really wanted to get fired, I'd just shave my head. I'd probably be fired on the spot. Then I'd dye what was left blue” - Gear, 2000

After the photoshoot, Aaron Speliing made it clear she still has two year left in her contract and he still wants her in the show.

“I like Jessica Biel, I’m not against Jessica. I’m not suing Jessica. She’s a very good actress. I love to work with her. I’d love for her to stay. She’s got two years left on her contract. -Aaron Spelling, USA Today 2000

Aaron Spelling didn’t sue Jessica but did sue Gear magazine for $100m for using his name on it. The magazine shut down in 2003.

TV producer Aaron Spelling has sued Gear magazine for its red-hot feature on “7th Heaven” star Jessica Biel. The suit — filed Tuesday in Los Angeles country Superior Court — seeks $100 million in damages for defamation from the magazine and its owner, Bob Guccione Jr. - NYpost, 2000

In a letter, Spelling's lawyer, Bertram Fields, sent to Gear, he calls the magazine "sleazy" and denies the "false assertion" that Spelling told Biel he owned her. It also said that the appearance of Spelling's name on the masthead insinuates that he "approved and arranged for this reprehensible article featuring 11 nude and highly salacious photos of a minor child... an article that, in light of Ms. Biel's youth, appears to violate various criminal acts." TV Guide, 2000

The reason her screen time was reduced during season 5 (2000/2001) is because she attented Tufts University in Massachusetts. The producers finally accepted to accommondate her schedule. She was only filming 7th Heaven during her school break. That’s why Mary was sent to Buffalo by her parents. Jessica took a break from Tufts University after two semesters and was back full time for season 6 (2001/2002) and filmed the movie The Rules of Attraction during summer 2001. Her 6 years contract was finally over, she choose to leave the show and only appear in couples of episodes in the next seasons.

Now, as she is focused, laser-like, on getting us through the storm, she seems thoughtful about the whole episode. “I really wanted to go to college, and it all kind of happened at the same time. I did this photo shoot; the photo shoot came out; it was terribly embarrassing. I had to apologize to everybody, including my parents. It was a big learning experience: learning how to have boundaries and how to say no.”

Not surprisingly, Biel has a lot of empathy for young girls dealing with adolescence in front of an audience. “I have this overwhelming motherly feeling toward them. Just do what you gotta do, girls! Hold it together! I wish everyone would just leave them alone.” Vogue, 2010

After the photoshoot, 7th heaven writers took it another level , they made Mary a selfish sister who cared about no one and anything in season 5 (2000/2001). They paired her with a guy 3 times her age at the begining of season 7 (2002). During season 9 (2004/2005), Mary abandonned her husband and baby even thought Jessica was not appearing in the show anymore. The writers know what they were doing since viewers often link characters to the actors.

Jessica appeared in 0 episodes of season 9, you can see how mad the writers were, dragging a character that was not even on screen for a whole year. Season 9, Episode 21:

From 2001 to 2010:  She did multiple interviews talking about how she regretted doing that photoshoot, it was not what was planned she got encouraged to take her clothes off when it was supposed to be just a sexy photoshoot. She couldn’t stop the pictures to be published because she had no contract.

She was most forthcoming and, regarding her experience with a failed Gear magazine photo shoot early in her career, genuine in her explanation of what it takes rebound from a mistake and put her career on track.  It was unexpectedly moving to hear her talk about the event because her voice cracked a couple times.  Who couldn't feel for her? A kid who tried to do something fun and it backfired.

“I want to say that… because…. I was seventeen years old. It was my first kind of adult photo-shoot where it was supposed to be… it was supposed to be sexy and fun… it wasn’t supposed to be naked, it wasn’t supposed to be, you know, underwear. I got in a situation where I was encouraged. And I was not looked after by the people that I was working with. And it really got blown out of this planet. I’m not apologizing for it.I mean, I think that was going to happen naturally. As, you know, you get older and you look different and you act  and your ideas are different. You change like every year, so much. I mean, when that photo-shoot came out it was really horrible for me.  I don’t regret it because I’ve learned and this is going to sound so cliché I cannot even tell you how much I’ve learned about being able to stand up for myself and being able to say, “You know what? No, I’m not going to wear that.” And knowing the people to put around me to keep me on the right path. You know what got it started? I had a lot of men around me at the time. I was working with a lot of men, because of my managers. And, you know, it just wasn’t a good thing for me. I really needed to be surrounded by a woman. Women who would say, “You know what? That’s really not such a smartest idea.” And also, I was seventeen.I think this happens to so many girls. And this is not some sob story. I’m not looking for people to go, “Oh!”. I mean, this was one of the hardest times I went through in my whole entire life. I really embarrassed my family. I embarrassed myself. And thank God for 7th Heaven and for the fans and for Aaron Spelling, who was so forgiving. He was like, “Look, you made a mistake. It’s OK.” I had to go through all this stuff in front of everybody, in front of the whole world. And I never really said anything. My mom was like, “Let’s make a statement. Let’s say something and say that this is not what it was supposed to be. This was not some, like, let’s get off the show. That was not what it was about.” And, you know, when you’re seventeen years old… you think you know everything. You want to be twenty-five. You want to wear the sexy clothes. And when someone says, “Yeah, that looks great! Why don’t you just slip that off?” You’re like, “OK, yeah.” And then it just escalates. And at the end of that shoot I was just bawling to my dad. I said, “Dad, you need to get rid of this. This just didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. And then, you know, we didn’t have things signed, and whatever." I mean, I’m not going to say that I’m completely free of guilt. I went along with it. But… you know, it was a very nerve-wracking photo-shoot. And at the end of the day I went home to my father and I said, "Dad, I don’t want to tell because I’m very embarrassed, but I just need you to help me and we need to just forget this whole thing.” - IGN.com, 2003

Speaking of parents, yours must have been pretty freaked about your pictures in Gear. First of all, I wasn’t happy with those pictures either. I saw pictures that were different from the ones that ran in the magazine. We thought the layout was going to be much more subdued. I’m talking about how much was shown of my chest area. So I was shocked and my family was heartbroken about the pictures that ran. It was really difficult, but you know, it’s over now and I’m OK with it and my family knows that that’s never ever going to happen again. Have you mended fences with everyone at the WB and the series itself? Yes, but it really was difficult for a while. That photo shoot was just a really bad decision on my part and I got myself involved with people who weren’t thinking about me and were instead thinking about what kind of a story they could get out of it. I learned a whole lot from the experience, so it was definitely a blessing in disguise. I don’t look back on it negatively like I used to. There was speculation that you were trying to get fired by appearing too sexy to play Mary. I think it boils down to the stupidest thing ever. I just wanted to cut my hair and dye it a different color, but they wouldn’t allow it because we were in the middle of episodes. I was 17 years old and totally rebellious, so I was just like, “What do you mean I can’t dye my hair? You can’t tell me what to do!” I look back now and I’m like, “God, I was a nutball!” And I’ve really changed from that. I had to learn in front of the entire country, but I guess that’s a really poignant lesson. As far as changing my image, I do want to do different movies and play as many different characters as I can. I want people to see me as a really normal human being who screws up. Just like everybody else. EW, August 2001

Her boyfriend at that time, Adam LaVorgna (Robbie Palmer in 7th Heaven) was not happy about that photoshoot. There were some tensions between them while she was spending time with the interviewer.

During the time I spent with her, the Boyfriend (whom she asks not to name) is constant presence, though he’s more than 3,000 miles away in Boston. What he thinks  and how he’ll react take up a large portion of Jesse’s thoughts. He’s nervous at her being perceived as sex idol, and having a writer from men’s magazine spend several days with her is not helping. Over the course of those days, the phone keeps ringing - the Boyfriend - and it’s stressing her. - Gear, 2000

It was reported that her dad and boyfriend were at the photoshoot. Even though Jessica denied it to protect her father from criticism, the boyfriend at the time, Adam LaVorgna, confirmed in a podcast in 2019, they were both there but were distracted by making them visit the building while they warn up her to take her clothes off. Adam was a guest on 7th Heaven during season 4 (1999/2000), Jessica got him the role of Mary’s boyfriend, Robbie Palmer, they have been dating since they filmed the movie ‘I’ll be home for Christmas” in Spring 1998. When it was time for Jessica to leave the show to attend college on the East Coast with Adam (Jessica at Tufts University and Adam at Boston College), 7th heaven writers called Adam to give him a regular role for season 5 (2000/2001). Adam accepted, dropped from college to be in L.A to film 7th Heaven but Jessica who needed a break still went to college in Massachusetts.

Initially, I just wanted to go to college. I hadn’t experienced traditional style high school. I wanted to be around kids my own age and to stop working full time. I was burned out.- LA Confidential, August 2006

Adam and Jessica broke up during summer 2001 and worked together full time in the show during season 6 (2001/2002) and the first episodes of season 7. The writers paired him with her sister, Lucy Camden, and then with another girl Mary was jealous of...

With hindsight, Adam regretted accepting the offer because now he feels like the producers asked him to comeback for season 5 to hit back at Jessica for leaving the show.

Like “Oh You wanna leave the show, We gonna take your boyfriend”. - Adam LaVorgna (2019 - worst ever podcast)

2005: For years, Jessica had a no nudity clause in her contract. She was not confortable doing nudity anymore, she used a body double for the movie she did with her boyfriend at the time Chris Evans.

“I used a body double in this little indie, London, because they wanted a close-up of a breast and a bottom, and I didn’t feel comfortable. I thought, ‘That’s for my bedroom and my man, not for everyone else.’ I had to pick out the body double, and it was a really bizarre experience. I felt like a man,” I was just assessing their bodies. There are so many shapes of breasts. I never knew. You’re just used to what yours look like,” - Cosmopolitan, July 2005

A lot of people said to me, That was the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anybody do,” she says. “But I was miserable. It was horrible. I was humiliated. I just wanted  my family to forgive me….I was taken advantage of in many different  ways. Now I can look at the pictures and not be disgusted, and I don’t  have to cry about it. I look at it as a learning experience.” - Esquire, November 2005

As a teenager, I wanted to make everyone happy, even if it meant doing something I didn’t believe in. Posing [nearly nude] for Gear magazine was a huge learning experience. There have been times since when studios have wanted me to do photos in men’s magazines. It’s hard to say no because I want to please the people who hire me. But I won't compromise my integrity for anyone. If I lose a job over that,fine. - Self Magazine, January 2005

Will she do it again? Nope!

Q: What do you do now to protect yourself? BIEL:Well, first of all, I’ll only do a photo-shoot for a magazine that I think is reputable, that’s not about just kind of exploiting women. Q: FHM or Maxim? BIEL: No. I don’t think that’s important and that’s not what I want to do.  I mean, that happened.  I’ve already done that and it did not… it wasn’t something that I want to do from the beginning and I don’t want to do it again. You know, I’m so much smarter! (she laughs)  I wish I knew what I know now. IGN 2003

2007: She was finally ready to do nudity for the movie Powder Blue also starring Forest Whitaker, Eddie Redmayne and Patrick Swayze and this time lesson learned everything was written down on a contract! and if they wanted more it should be discussed before the filming.

Jessica has made an effort to distance herself from gratuitious photoshoots since an ill-advised topless spread aged 17, which she claimed her former managers pressed her into posing. But the actress has changed her mind for the film. However, the cautious actress is keen not to see her scantily-clad image exploited, and has signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see. The contract is said to ban shots of her breasts (nipples from the front and side) and her bottom (side view only) – in the Crash-like ensemble drama Powder Blue. A source told Us Weekly magazine that although the director will film scenes that are even more revealing, 'Jessica will decide if she wants to show anything additional'. - Dailymail, 2008

"I don't have to be fully naked for the movie. I haven't decided exactly about the nudity. It's a tough one. I'm considering it but it's a very scary thing to do."It definitely feels vulnerable to be naked in front of anybody, let alone a film crew. - US weekly, 2009   

More interviews talking about how horrible she felt after the photoshoot was published:

That was such a big mistake. I made a horrible, horrible choice. Those were not the people to work with and not the right thing for myself. A hundred percent I want to be a part of the show. I give ‘7th Heaven’ — the writers and everybody — all the credit. They gave me the chance. They did everything, and I totally appreciate that. If I hadn’t been on '7th Heaven,’ I wouldn’t have been doing anything. I don’t know what would have happened. But it gave me the chance to do what I like to do. I definitely miss it. I definitely love coming back. It really depends on my college schedule. Pretty much all the time '7th Heaven’ is working, I’m in school. Except, of course, for my Christmas and spring breaks. So I’ll do an episode during my spring break. If I could do more episodes without missing any school this year, I would do whatever I can with that. I think our writer, (creator/executive producer) Brenda Hampton, is very perceptive with what’s going on in everyone’s life. I think Mary came to this point in her life when she didn’t know what to do. And then she had to rise up from that and find a balance. To get rid of all her debts and start going to class with her grandmother. And choosing a path in life. I’m pretty sure that’s where Mary is going, and that’s sort of where I was going in my life. I was just a crazy kid, and I didn’t know what I was doing, pretty much. For the last four years, I’ve definitely grown up with everyone having an eye on me — checking your moves out, checking what you’re doing. But I would never give it up. I would never go back on it. I know I’ve made some mistakes. I understand that. I’m OK with that. It’s made me who I am today. It’s made me a completely different person than I would be if I hadn’t gone through it all. I don’t regret it, and I would never go back. I don’t want that image. I don’t want to be some bad girl. Things got misconstrued, and I don’t know what happened. But I don’t want that. I just want to be me, and I don’t know what that is yet. - DesertNews, 2001

Confronting her naivety is something Jessica has certainly had to deal with in the past; a mistake that centres around a photoshoot she did for Gear magazine that saw her go topless for its cover, hand placed strategically over nipple in nothing but a pair of frilly beige knickers. She was 17 at the time. “I had been the pretty, good wholesome girl in 7th Heaven for almost three seasons and I’d had enough of being virginal,” she explains. “I was asked to do this shoot for the magazine and, because I was young, had some money, a little fame and because I thought I knew best, I decided to go ahead with it. I thought I could look after myself.“When we started the shoot I was like, ‘Wow, I’m older and sexier - I’m hot!’ And then as the day drew on and I started to take off more clothes, things started to get more uncomfortable. I just knew in my gut. I was thinking, ‘This is wrong - you are starting to do things you don’t want to.’ But I went along with things because I was arrogant and didn’t have anyone looking out for me. I went by myself, no real guardian apart from an old manager. My dad did show up at one point but I was like, ‘No,you stay over there. I’m doing this shoot. I’m cool.’”When the shoot wrapped, Jessica found a quiet corner and broke down. “I called him [her father] in tears. I’d made a huge mistake, I knew it. That little girl in me was freaking out. I spoke to my dad and was like, ‘Dad, you’ve got to help me. We have to get the photos. I can’t tell you what happened, but I have to stop the pictures getting out!’ He kept asking me what was wrong and I couldn’t face telling him. I was sobbing, ‘I can’t tell you, I can’t tell you…’”Despite every effort from her family, the pictures ran. Aaron Spelling, the series producer for 7th Heaven, described the images as “child pornography”. Understandably, Jessica was dreading going back on set. “Everyone was, like, ‘What the hell happened?’ My family went through the wringer. I was truly, deeply embarrassed and humiliated. And I had no one to blame but myself.” Her boyfriend, too, failed to see the sexy side. “He was humiliated, his family was humiliated and it was all horrible. It was certainly the low point of my young little life. And I spent a lot of time beating myself up about it, feeling like an idiot.”Although not a direct cause, the trauma of being exploited made Jessica take a second look at her ambitions and her career, and it wasn’t long after that she made the decision to leave the successful TV series. Although almost 18, she realised she needed to get out of Hollywood and do what most young women her age do - go to college, get her head in a book and shoot lime daiquiris by the jug-load with her peers. “Me and my parents managed to get me out of my contract and I went to college in Massachusetts. I went to Tufts on the North East coast. It’s a tiny, liberal arts school with good sports facilities. I needed a break; I’d been working in that adult environment since I was 14 and I wanted to cut my hair, get a tattoo… be a normal kid for a while.” - GQ UK, January 2009

I certainly had to apologize to Aaron Spelling. I think my entire crew and cast  were, needless to say, shocked. The worst part was I had to go back to work. The thing comes out and literally I had to go back to work that next morning. Everybody was… they didn’t know if they should look me in the eye and I was just a mess. I didn't…you’re young. You don’t mean to hurt people. You don’t mean to do this. It definitely wasn’t a calculated move on my part. I was not that smart to be making these calculated moves. I think I was 17, I’m a woman now, I’m a grown up now. I’m sexy, ya know, this type of vibe and honestly, it just went a little awry. It definitely never was meant to be some shocking, exposing situation and whether it was my own sort of ya know ability to try to be my own person by myself, ya know, confident woman. I said yes to things that probably I should’ve said no to. It was just one of those things that got out of hand. - Awards chatter podcast, 2018 (x)

After Powder blue, she has done nudity only in tv shows she produces. She keeps using body double for some scenes though.

______________________________________________________

Sorry for my english, it’s not my mother language and I am not very literary (I am more a math girl).

[fazcinatingblog]

Guys, please don't think less of me but I've been peer pressured into attending a Carlton vs tigs game. I'm so sorry.

In better news, look at this from Dylan Grimes

[leithillustration]

Tarot Suits and the Gangsey

Does anyone have thoughts on which of the four minor arcana suits match which characters in the Gangsey? This is something I’ve been wondering about since I want to make some illustrations referencing the qualities of each suit in order to help me in my tarot readings. Obvs being a big Raven Cycle and Dreamer Trilogy nerd, I cannot possibly consider doing these illustrations without including my good boyos in the background!

Here’s what I have so far (below the cut)… sorry it’s such an essay… but also not sorry. CW: Spoilers?

💙Blue of Cups

Obviously Cups has to be Blue, right? It’s referenced so much in the books. Cups is all about togetherness, family, creativity, love, feelings, how we express emotions and connect to others. It feels right that this is Blue, with her connections to her family at 300 Fox Way. The way she communicates with Gansey, Adam, Ronan and Noah and loves them all for different reasons. Blue is creative and the element of water seems to fit her well - she reflects others potential while having hidden depths of her own, and holds her dreams close to her heart. Blue is also fiery enough to be wands, especially with her ambitions to travel and her creativity, but I’m not sure it fits her as well as Cups. I think there is still space within Cups for her to be her wonderful passionate feminist self.

Here are my first sketches for this piece.

🗡️Gansey of Swords..?

I feel Gansey is a good fit for representing Swords as it’s about intellect, logic, reasoning, knowledge, ideas, taking action. The imagery of Gansey with a sword is very kingly, and through TRC he’s constantly striving for knowledge and applying his own brand of Welsh King obsessed logic to everything (Gansey truly is the king of neurodivergent hyperfixation/adhd deep dives and I love him for it). Conflict is a part of swords too, and Gansey has a lot of that going on with Adam and Ronan as well as his family.. BUT here’s where I start to question things. Swords could just as easily apply to Adam. He’s arguably wrapped up in more conflict than Gansey (his father, his view of himself and what he wants, his ambitions constantly butting up against his background etc) and he’s an equal driving force for action throughout TRC. He’s intelligent and logical too. So who is a greater representation of Swords energy? Gansey could also represent Pentacles for his wealth and his connection to Glendower being very earthy.

🔥Ronan of Wands.. or Pentacles.. or Cups!?

Before I go on to apply Adam to every other tarot suit too, let’s give Ronan some attention. Wands is a great fit for Ronan (despite the magician imagery that obviously suits Adam- oops, I said I’d move on). Wands has fire energy, and Ronan is burning throughout TRC and The Dreamer Trilogy (thank you so so much Maggie for giving us this amazing spin off which gives me LIFE). He’s active and passionate, creative and everything is sexually charged with him. He can be aggressive and argumentative, and he grows so so much throughout all the books. But then, perhaps because if that growth, Ronan fits with so much earth energy too, which is encompassed by Pentacles. He dreams of / is partly a fantastical forest (all the best people are). His dreams are all about sensation, he is grounded in nature at the barns and he has strong values… which also relates to Cups! Ronan’s love and fierce loyalty for his family and friends, the way he loves is so cups! He’s instinctive. He wears his heart on his sleeve (I know there is a quote about this somewhere in the Dreamer Trilogy but I have no idea where). Cups is about dreams and family. Ronan is definitely Wands throughout TRC, but he’s also very Cups too in TDT imo. Of course, there’s also the conflict aspect of Swords that is Ronan all over- the punk is made of conflict - plus Ronan makes Vexed to Nightmare so he literally has a sword.. but the rest of the Sword suit doesn’t really fit with him as he’s far more about feelings and instinct than logic and reasoning.

🌱Adam of Pentacles… but also everything else too.

I originally cringed at applying Pentacles to Adam (I feel like he’d be mad at me because this suit has so much to do with finance) but having thought about it more, I think it fits him quite well. Pentacles has earth energy, which is so Adam Parish it’s ridiculous. I will be your hands, I will be your eyes etc. Despite all the turmoil in TRC, Adam remains grounded. He’s sure of where he wants to get to. He’s probably the most practical of the group too, next to Blue, and is very aware of his environment and his financial instability. He strives for financial security and seeks opportunities where he can. Throughout and especially by the end of the Dreamer trilogy, he’s a real grounding force for Ronan (fuck, Greywarren did things to me. Is it too much to stick my favourite Adam / Ronan chapters to my walls?!) and his connection to Cabeswater in TRC is all very earthy.. but it’s also very mystical and Cuppy?? Cups encompasses psychic energy which Adam has in spades. He also has the intellectual prowess and logic for Swords, and the fiery stubbornness and ambition of Wands.

Ultimately I think it’s really interesting how all the characters overlap in some areas, just like the tarot suits do. I’m very excited to make some art based on it all!

PS- Noah’s suit is Major Arcana. Henry’s suit is a toga.

PPS- If you read this far, thank you for sticking with my ramblings! Have a cute little ghost 👻

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Finally finished S1 of Lab Rats and all I can say is

[gojosoups]

Syncing My Period Tracker With My Bf (gone wrong) — gojo satoru

cw: smut, ovulation, ovulation sex, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, clit pinching, cum licking and eating, little bit of anal play, gojo is pussy drunk fr, female reader, all characters are 18+, MDNI, slightly proofread

wc: 0.8k

a/n: thank you guys for 1k! finally wrote something after so long lol.. pls check out my navigation for updates on when new fics will be posted, what's coming soon [series] and [long fics and drabbles], and my current semi-hiatus due to exams! hope you all enjoy this <3

whoever told you that syncing your period tracker with your boyfriend was a good idea was wrong. it was a bad idea to begin with, giving satoru full access to your cycle on his phone.

because the minute he got the notification that your ovulation started, he teleported his ass home.

without even greeting you, he makes his way into your shared bedroom, with you slung over his shoulders. not sparing a single second, he manhandles you onto the bed, forcing you on your hands and knees. tearing off your clothes, his hands grip the fat of your asscheeks, spreading them wide open to the sight of your glistening pussy, while you're lying underneath him confused.

“toru?” you ask, looking behind your shoulder and receiving no reply, your boyfriend busy burying his nose in between your folds. a groan leaving his lips as he takes a big fat sniff of your ovulating pussy, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his skull from your scent.

“you’re ovulating,” is the only response you get before you squeal, his tongue diving in without warning, licking eagerly at your wet folds, drinking in your juices with vigor.

your arms and legs tremble as you try to keep yourself up, arms giving out underneath you as your face falls flat onto the bed, moaning in pleasure as drool ruins your pillow covers.

“toru- toru please-,” you whine, feeling a suck to your clit that has your body thrashing and squirming. his hands gripping the plump of yass as he spreads you open, back in a pretty arch, only shoving his face deeper into your pussy.

feeling his warm tongue leaving your wet pussy to lick at your little puckered hole teasingly, you sob. pussy clenching on nothing, begging him to touch you where you need him the most.

your nails dig into the sheets beneath you, smothering your face into the pillow as you try to swallow and keep in your moans, afraid to wake up the neighbors, but satoru has other plans. tongue curling against your slippery walls, his fingers pinch your engrossed clit whenever you try to muffle your pretty sounds.

wet slurping noise fills the bedroom. satoru's tongue and nose deep in your pussy as he drinks your sweet juices, adams' apple bobbing as he gulps. your pussy tightening with each curl of his skilled tongue as he laps at gummy walls.

"mhmm- oh god-" a choked moan leaving your wobbly drooling lips, knuckles turning white from fisting the sheets tightly. your head buried in your pillow as you try to grind your hips against his face, despite his bruising grip on your ass, thick fingers digging into your cheeks as he spreads you wide open for his eager tongue.

the bed creaks slightly as satoru grinds his hips against the mattress, trying to reach his peak with you. cock straining against his uniform, precum leaking under his boxers, making a wet patch against them as he eats you out, his voice muffled between your thighs as he devours his meal.

hands fondling your asscheeks, a finger sneaks its way inside, stretching your tights walls as he laps at your juices, pulling out a silent scream from your shaky lips. your abdomen tightens as he abuses your poor sweet spot, lips making their way further down to wrap around your sensitive clit, while you desperately try to run away from the overwhelming pleasure.

"fuck baby-" he groans, forcing you to stay still as he abuses your poor cunt, "stop moving." you think you're finally hallucinating, your ears betraying you as you hear him nearly whine, begging you to stop moving, to stop depriving him of his sweet desert.

your body trembles as satoru relentlessly pleasures you, his skilled fingers and tongue bringing you closer and closer to the edge. your senses go numb as tears stream down your cheeks, the coil in your belly ready to snap at any moment as orgasm approaches.

"toru- I'm close," you sob, voice shaky and breathing ragged as your eyes flutter shut tightly.

doubling his efforts, his tongue flicks against your swollen clit, finger curling against your spongy wall with each flick of his tongue. his soft, wet lips wrap around your sensitive bud, sucking your clit as pleasure consumes your senses.

the pace of his fingers increases, thrusting up against your sweet spot, and with a final suck to your poor clit, you come undone. your back in a pretty arch as intense waves of pleasure wreck your body. a loud moan escapes your lips as your pussy flutters, coating his fingers with your juices before he sucks them clean, humming at the taste of you, his favourite sweet treat.   

𝐀��𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 © 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒 — do not copy, translate, repost or modify my works on any platform.

[chobunz]

── jay’s body. ( pjs ) 🔪

๑ A string of gruesome murders have been plaguing your small town with fear, there hasn’t been many leads on who this unnamed killer could be but never in a million years would you suspect that it was someone you were so close to…

pair/genre: popular jock!jay ㅊ nerdy!f!reader, dead dove do not eat, college au, jennifer’s body au | warnings: horror, pwp, angst, smut, humor/dark jokes, set in the late 2000’s, jay is your childhood best friend, yandere/incubus!jay, mentions of depression/anxiety, childhood trauma, graphic descriptions of death and violence, gore, cheating, manipulation tactics, dub-con, virginity loss, d/s dynamics, piv, fingering, oral (m + f. rec), rough s.x, biting, slight knife play, unprotected s.x, breeding kink | words: 18.3k+ (holy shit i’m insane..)

**please heed ALL warnings before reading, i am not responsible for the content you consume !!

[ song inspo: mascara, do you believe, & cherry waves by deftones ]

this is a really long one compared to all of my other fics ! i’m happy with the outcome of this so i hope you all like it !! i poured way too much time and effort into this writing so reblogs and comments are highly appreciated <33 big thank you to the loml @p4ranormaluv for beta-ing my fic, ilysm muahh

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“you should come.” jay’s figure hovered over your desk, his face so unbearably close to yours that one wrong move could lead to both of your lips accidentally colliding. “please y/n? it’ll be fun, i promise !” his former pout returns to guilt trip you even further.

you stood your ground and shook your head, leaning back into the chair for more breathing room. this wasn’t something out of the ordinary for him, jay constantly invaded your personal space, never believing in boundaries when it came to you— and he’d get even more obnoxious by persistently asking to hang outside of classes.

“no jay, i already told you before that i have homework to do..” you remind him yet again for the umpteenth thousand time, as if he didn’t already know that, not bothering to put much thought into considering his dumb little offer.

for the past hour or so he’s been bugging you about going to some dive bar downtown with him. it seems a lot of people were attending since a locally known indie girl band, ‘sweet venom’, is going to be performing there tonight. jay would always rave about their music once he discovered them on myspace, growing quite the infatuation with the lead singer in particular. you really weren’t all that interested in going, you weren’t even a fan, plus you had way more important things to worry about. and besides, concerts weren’t your thing anyway, you’ve always hated large crowds— gives you an inducing amount of anxiety.

“ugh, why’re you so lamee, it’s like you’re allergic to fun..” he whines, dragging out his words which only made him sound even more immature. he’d never miss a beat to poke fun at you for being such a goody two shoes. “we’re not getting any younger y/n, keep going at this rate and you’re bound to end up an old, shriveled up cat lady who’s gonna die a miserable virgin !”

his snarky comments about your dry sex life didn’t phase you as much as they used to, but after a while you do get sick of hearing them all the time. to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you and jay were still such close friends, maybe it’s because of the deep rooted history you two share, dating all the way back to when you were in kindergarten; or simply could be the fact that no matter what, jay refused to never leave your side— ever.

you’ve had one too many disagreements and blown out of proportion arguments with him over the years, yet he’s never held any of those things against you, it’s practically a clean slate the next day. you’ll never understand why he’s so adamant on keeping this friendship alive when you’re just so vastly different from each other. he’s athletic, outgoing, extremely popular amongst his peers— and especially with women, of course.

jay will never admit it out loud, but he’s always enjoyed being the center of attention, not to mention he was blessed with a well above average face that he used to his advantage quite a bit. he’d often came off as pretty arrogant and crude to most people, he honestly had no filter when it came to voicing his own opinions; but that was the allure of him, made his charm even more magnetic to the dozens of girls who’d fawn over him on a daily basis. he acted as though all eyes weren’t on him, yet he secretly relished it. if he wasn’t stroking his own ego, best believe there’d be someone who would.

you glare at him, wishing he’d just shut up already and go bother someone else for a change, but you know that’ll never happen in this lifetime. “i’m actually in a very loving and committed relationship.. so i rebuke that statement, thank you very much !” you quickly fire back, gathering your textbooks and other supplies, shoving them into the compartments of your black messenger bag.

“soo, i’m guessing mark’s dick isn’t really all that satisfying enough for you ? ‘cause you still act hella cranky all the time… must not be that good,” jay couldn’t help but chuckle to himself, deciding to further agitate you. “oh, who am i kidding.. you probably haven’t even let that bastard kiss you yet.”

if you weren’t so mentally drained from the 6 hours you’ve just endured of back to back classes, you’d be beating his ass to a pulp right here and now. “we’re taking things slow !” you defend yourself once more, lifting from the chair as you’re about to head out the door, to which jay follows behind to continue his rampant taunting spree.

“it’s been 6 months y/n, how much more ‘slow’ can you take it ?” a group of girls wave at him as you walked through the corridor, but he ignores it and keeps walking like the pretentious asshole he is. “bet the dude gets blue balls everytime he sees you.”

you stopped dead in your tracks for a second, turning around to face him only to be met with a smug grin settled on his lips. the fact he gets such a kick out of constantly teasing you made it all the more aggravating, but eventually you caved in, as per usual.

“ugh, fine.. what time is it ?” you inquire, watching how he instantly lit up at your question. you knew he would’ve been moping and complaining for the rest of the day if you didn’t go with him. anything to get him to finally shut up..

“it starts at 9 but i’ll pick you up at 8:30 !” jay caged his arm around your waist, pulling you into a half hug. “oh, and make sure to wear something good.” he quickly adds.

“um.. i always wear good clothes ??” a scoff leaves your lips, slightly offended by his critique of your clothing choices.

“really ?” he spoke sarcastically, eyeing the oversized crewneck sweatshirt you wore with cats printed all over, “this isn’t middle school anymore, it wouldn’t kill you to show a little bit of cleavage once in a while.”

you flat out ignore his comments. not even wanting to entertain his bullshit anymore, if anything it would only lead to a petty argument that’ll sour your mood for the whole day. you’ve learned the hard way that sometimes— well most of the time, letting jay say whatever he wants was the best option, which is why he always gets away with it. he’s always been the more domineering one of the friendship, whilst you just sat back and let his menacing behavior go unchecked. you hated that you were such a pushover when it came to him but you’d rather just let it go than have a full blown argument that could potentially lead to him having an irrational outburst.

“i gotta go find mark, i’ll see ya later.” your mind shifts back to thinking about your boyfriend who was most likely waiting for you out in the courtyard.

“ew, whatever bye.” a look of faux disgust bestowed on jay’s features, there was no inherent issue he had with mark— just didn’t really like the guy. he felt as though he was slowly being replaced by him, which is why he latched onto you even more than ever.

once you said your final goodbyes and parted ways, you head down a long flight of stairs to go search for your boyfriend. eventually catching him off in the distance as he’s sat on a bench outside, immediately going up to hug him.

“hey babe,” mark happily greets as you embraced him, embedding a kiss to your cheek, “missed you.”

“hey, sorry i showed up kinda late.. got a little sidetracked on my way to you,” you make up a quick lie as you don’t wanna fully admit that jay was the reason for your semi-tardiness.

“got any plans tonight pretty lady ?” he asks with his arm looped around your shoulder as you sat beside him, he was hoping to spend more time with you since you’ve been so cooped up in the library studying for upcoming exams.

“well… yeah, kinda. i’m going to this concert thingy with jay tonight.” there you go, not even a minute in of seeing your boyfriend you’re already bringing him up. it’s always jay, jay, jay— this was really beginning to irritate him.

“oh..” he sighs, visibly tensing up every time he hears that dreaded name slip from your mouth. he knew this was how it usually went down, whenever he asks to spend time with you somehow jay would always beat him to it. mark truly felt like your so called ‘best friend’ was the main perpetrator of sabotaging this relationship.

“we can still hang out for a bit before that !” you suggest, attempting to try and lighten the atmosphere, but mark still wasn’t too thrilled to hear that you were going to be with jay for the whole night instead of him.

you know that mark never really liked jay, and jay also never really liked mark either. it was an odd, unspoken tension between the two but you couldn’t quite seem to put your finger on how or why it all started. mark was more adjacent to your personality, you’re both bookworms, lovers of all things pertaining to math and science, and you lived in the same honor’s apartment complex, which only housed the smartest students of the whole university. jay however… he was a spitting image of everything you strived not to be. rebellious, put very minimal if at all any effort into his studies, was borderline narcissistic, and easily irritable around others. it was like a ticking time bomb with him, you never knew exactly when he’d go off.

“yeah only for like two hours..” mark sulked in discontent, sinking lower into the seat. “you always do whatever jay tells you to do, it’s like you don’t have a mind of your own sometimes.. feels like you enjoy being with jay more than me..”

“that’s not true !” you fire back, “he’s my best friend.. that’s it. you know you mean the world to me,” you anxiously express, fidgeting with the silver, heart-shaped friendship necklace that you and jay both had since elementary school. “my roommate should be gone, i have the whole place to myself, come !” quickly, you grab his hand to lead the way back to your place.

“agh.. okay, better be lucky that you’re cute..” mark jokingly adds, letting you pull him away to the next destination.

๑ ๑ ๑

“so.. which one is he stalking online again ?” mark asks out of curiosity, comfortably sat on top of your bed, referring to jay’s new obsession with this girl band.

“the lead singer of this band, he said she’s like ‘100% his type’ or something, i dunno.” you said nonchalantly, skimming through your wardrobe in hopes of finding an outfit that jay would approve of, you couldn’t dress too revealing as it would only attract unwanted attention from random creeps, but you also didn’t want to present as too “modest” as you’ll only get teased even more than you already were by your best friend.

“huh.. interesting..” he slightly nods, reaching over to play with one of your stuffed bears that you’ve had since childhood. “i still don’t get why he couldn’t just go with someone else or by himself. he doesn’t need you there..”

you don’t answer, instead you were too preoccupied with trying on various tops, unsatisfied with most until you find a dark purple top that was a bit more form fitting. it showed your midriff just a little bit but it wasn’t too much that it would deem as “slutty”, at least in your humble book of opinions. checking yourself out in the vanity mirror to see how you look, you paired the top with some light wash flared jeans that you bought recently while out at the mall with jay.

you weren’t too keen on buying them at first but he’d convinced you to get them anyway. standing in front of your reflection, you barely recognized yourself. you don’t normally wear these types of styles but according to jay, you have to wear ‘good clothes’ so you kind of felt obligated to. finishing off the look, you took off your glasses, replacing them with contacts that you rarely wore, you’ve always hated that you struggled to put them in but it wasn’t so bad this time around.

“um, do you really have to wear such low rise jeans..? i can see your womb for pete’s sake !” mark sounded reminiscent of an overbearing dad the way he voiced his concerns, it was safe to say that he was definitely not a fan of this new look you were going for.

you playfully brushed him off, “quit being so dramatic, you’re just not used to seeing me like this is all !” you giggle at his overprotective nature, suddenly hearing a loud knock at your door from downstairs, “oh- that must be jay !”

you hummed a soft tune as you make your way down the stairs, swinging the door open to your best friend who’s grinning ear to ear, throwing your arms around his shoulders to embrace him in a hug.

“i see you actually took my advice,” jay says proudly, staring down your whole body as he examines your outfit, “we good to go ?” he asks, looking effortlessly cool in a pair of ripped black jeans and a white graphic tee that he bought from spencer’s.

“yup, i think so !” you nod in content, quickly grabbing your high-top converse that laid on the floor, they were a little beat up and had doodles all over them all because jay got bored one day and decided to scribble on the shoes without your knowledge. it added more character to them you suppose…

“i’d really appreciate if you stopped kidnapping my girlfriend all the time.” mark grumbles in annoyance, heading downstairs to kiss you goodbye. he possessively grabs ahold of your waist to show jay that he wasn’t the only man in your life that you adored— he hated that this has now become an unfriendly competition of who could gain your attention more.

jay scoffs, paying him little to no mind. “it isn’t kidnapping if she’s willingly going on her own accord, right ?” he said in his usual cocky tone, mark was getting more agitated by the second, if this were an animation, steam would’ve definitely been blowing out of his ears right now.

“listen dipshit i’ve had—”

“ok knock it off you two, enough !” you cut your boyfriend off before he could go any further, “you guys really need to stop, seriously..”

jay’s demeanor softens the minute he hears your voice, as if you’ve snapped him out of a trance, “he’s just jelly ‘cause he’s not invited, let’s go.” he links arms with yours whilst heading out the door, faintly hearing the jingle of his car keys clashing together as he swung them around with his free hand.

a part of you feels like you’ve created this whole mess between them, you’ve noticed this mini rivalry ever since you began dating mark. jay has never been one to give newcomers the warmest of welcomes, he’s constantly had this protective and territorial nature towards you, was just how he is. though sometimes, he’d take things a step too far. whenever he feels like you’re slowly drifting apart from him, he does everything in his power to drive a wedge between you and the other existing person. you and jay have always been a tight knit duo— a packaged deal if you will; and he isn’t too fond of other’s being added into the mix, he’d try convincing you that all you needed was each other— no one else ever mattered.

that was until you met your boyfriend mark of course, jay rarely ever conversed with him nor was he ever all that kind to him, but you managed to still work things out regardless of your best friend’s disapproval. in more blunt terms, you don’t think jay would’ve approved of anyone you date, he was harder to please than your own father and that in itself spoke volumes… on the contrary, you wouldn’t have much of an issue if jay were to magically show up with a girlfriend one day, but within these past two decades of knowing him you’ve never seen him date a single soul, he could literally have any girl he wanted, hell, they were practically lining up to even be near him. yet he didn’t bother giving one of them the time of day, he preferred his own solitude; except when he’s around you, that is.

๑ ๑ ๑

you had no idea what to anticipate when arriving to this place, but soon as you and jay walked into the establishment, you were invited with a completely different atmosphere than you expected. the way jay kept talking about this place you’d assume it’d be more of a nightclub ambiance but it was more or less like your average, run-of-the-mill bar where everyone went to watch the sports game on the weekend. sure there were a lot of people here but it just wasn’t the overall kind of vibe you mesh with. from it’s dingy, beer stained walls, to the generic pop music that blared through the speakers, there was a pool table in the corner occupied by a bunch of frat boys you recognized from school. your eyes landed on your past crush heeseung, who you never confessed to but still silently admired from afar to this day. you thought he was way out of your league, plus he was already dating someone else which made you harbor those secrets even deeper.

you sat at an empty booth, flipping open your phone to text mark who’s been asking nonstop if everything’s okay, though you’ve told him multiple times not to worry. there were a few girls who tried talking to jay but he seemed quite unamused by them, his mission was to talk to this band that he was fangirling over, you’ve never seen him this excited over anything.

“come with me,” jay suddenly pulls you out of your seat, making you go towards the front of the stage with him. he was smiling like an idiot, walking up to them confidently as he always did. there were a total of 5 women, all dressed in various types of leather and spikes, black filled their waterlines to look more edgy, their teased hair stayed in place with the shit ton of hairspray they used— pretty much your stereotypical rock band aesthetic. whether it was intentional or not, you didn’t know, but they definitely didn’t seem like the approachable type.

jay makes the first move, introducing himself along with your presence. “hi, i’m jay and this is my best friend y/n, i’m a huge fan of you guys ! i’m surprised you came out all the way here, aren’t you from the city ?” he sounded like such a groupie, you never took him as someone to kiss up to others, but there’s a first time for everything you suppose.

a woman with fluorescent pink hair spoke, you assumed it was the lead singer of the band since she held a microphone in her hand, “nice to meet you, i’m scarlett, but you can call me scar. yeah.. we’re a bit far out but we like to connect with fans all over, gotta start somewhere y’know?” jay nods, looking at her as if she held the key to a world he’s never seen before.

“can i buy you a drink ? the options are pretty slim but there’s these red and blue drinks that i think are kinda good. gotta drink ‘em fast though or else they turn this weird brownish color…” jay asks, hoping to give off the impression he’s older than he actually is.

“sure, thanks.” she replied, winking at him as she prepares to set up for the performance.

“great, i’ll be back right !” he turns around in a flash, tagging you along with him for the journey.

“uh, jay we aren’t over 21 yet..” you remind him, confused as how he was going to even pull this off, but he shuts down your doubtful attitude.

“i think you underestimate just how easily i can get anyone to do anything for me y/n.” he makes his way over to the bar with a confident stride, not even sweating the fact he may or may not be denied.

as jay was busy getting the drinks you overheard the lead singer, scarlett aka scar, talking to the bassist, you couldn’t help but get closer to eavesdrop on their conversation once you heard your best friend’s name being dropped mid convo.

“yeah that guy’s definitely a virgin, he talks big game but i know he doesn’t get girls..” she giggles to them. your brows furrowed in slight confusion and anger, not only was he being overly friendly with them but they were taking his kindness as a sign of weakness.

“hey that’s my friend you’re talking about, bitch !” you intervened, quickly coming to his defense, “whether he is one or not, it’s none of your damn business and he’s sure as hell not going to sleep with some washed up skanks like you.” you couldn’t believe those words even came out your mouth, but when it came to jay, you weren’t just going to sit back and let them talk about him like that.

“what’s going on ?” jay interrupts, coming back with the drinks as he noticed a sudden shift in your behavior.

“they were just talking about you !” you point over to the girls, still fuming with rage, “they said you were a virgin !”

“oh.. i mean does getting sucked off in the locker rooms by half the cheer team count ??” he jokes, snickering to himself when he remembers that moment.

you face palm, “that’s not the point, jay !” you were genuinely getting upset, why would it even matter if he was one or not ? why were they so hung up on knowing that to begin with ?

before you could say anything else or speculate any further, the lights suddenly dimmed, and the band introduces themselves to the crowd that was formed around you. scar went on a whole spiel about how they’re so grateful to be here and saying how they hope to bring more fans with this performance, they were promoting their new single, ‘bloody roses’ which you thought was a pretty corny and cliché title but nonetheless you were only here in support of your friend.

as the band started playing their first song, everyone began head banging to the music, including jay who was more than excited to be here. maybe it was because of the previous encounter you just had with them, but the music wasn’t necessarily hitting for you. it wasn’t the genre per se, you enjoyed bands such as hole, nirvana, and metallica, but they just seemed like complete rip offs of those said bands. it seemed like you were the only one who thought this way considering everyone else was vibing around you— especially jay who was singing along to every lyric word for word. you seriously couldn’t wait for this night to be over with..

not even ten minutes later, you heard a blood curdling scream off in the distance. your body stilled with uncertainty, wondering what could’ve possibly triggered such harrowing emotions, yet that was soon dissolved once you saw the burst of flames invading your vision. a rush of panic kicks in as you finally register what exactly was going on and the only thing on your mind was to get the hell out of here. everyone else had the same idea as you, bodies scrambling left and right, hurriedly trying to find an entry to freedom. you checked to see if jay was following behind you still but he wasn’t, he was gone. and so was the band.

you shouted his name as loud as you could, eyes becoming bleary whilst trying to find the nearest exit, pushing all the other attendees out of the way as the only thing you cared about in this moment was getting to safety and finding jay. you remembered that the bathrooms had a small window so you made a mad dash to the stalls, praying to god that you’d be able to fit through.

surprisingly there was no one else there, grabbing a step stool from the corner to help you climb up and ease your way out. profusely coughing from the smoke that lingered underneath the door, you use all your strength to pry the window open, body running solely off adrenaline. relief washes over you when you’re able to successfully get it to crack just enough to squeeze your body through, gasping for oxygen once you’re finally met with the outside world again.

you looked back and see that the entire bar is now ablaze– with people still inside. you watched as parts of the building collapsed, crumbling to the ground as more people were coming out. you’ve never witnessed anything more horrifying, hearing the cries of others shouting for help as they were locked in with no way out. some were so badly burned that they looked unrecognizable, their scorched skin bubbling from the third degree burns. you couldn’t bear to see such chaos but you couldn’t look away. this sight was going to be engrained into your memory for the rest of your life..

anxiety struck through you when you realize jay was still nowhere to be seen, you still had your cellphone in your pocket which you debated on calling 911, but you assumed they’d already be on the way with paramedics. you were surprised to have even made it out alive, but you hoped to god that jay was also able to escape the inferno. when an arm reaches out to suddenly grab your wrist, your first reaction was to scream loudly. still suffering from the shock of what you just experienced.

“chill the fuck out, it’s just me y/n!” you instantly recognized jay’s voice, turning around to face him. you couldn’t believe it was really him, completely unscathed just like you. you immediately wrap your arms around him, holding him tighter than ever before. you’d be able to rest easy now knowing that you two were perfectly okay.

“i was looking for you, had me worried sick !” your eyes brimmed with tears again, but it was more so tears of happiness. you wouldn’t know what you’d do if you didn’t have your best friend with you anymore.

“i’m sorry… we should’ve stuck together. i didn’t mean to abandon you..” he didn’t sound like his usual self, this time he was more frantic, just as much in shock as you were.

“oh thank god you two are alright !” scar, the singer of that shitty band runs up to the both of you, “you guy’s should come back to my van, it’s safer there.” she proposes, helping you back up on your feet as you were too weak to do so on your own.

you shook your head at that idea. “no way, i’m getting out of here, come on jay!” you grab his hand but he doesn’t follow along.

“actually, i think i’m gonna go with them..” he says, letting go of your hand to head towards the van with the other girls.

“are you crazy ?!” you couldn’t believe he’d choose them over you, even if he was a huge fan, it still didn’t make sense for him to leave with them rather than his own damn best friend. you felt betrayed.

“look i’m in survival mode just as much as you right now, we gotta get going before anything else happens !” scarlett rushes to the driver’s side whilst the others hopped in the back along with jay, who seemed perfectly fine with getting in a vehicle with some random strangers he just met.

you’re steady calling after him but he doesn’t listen nor budge, simply watching as the van speeds off. knowing deep down in your gut that something awful was going to ensue…

๑ ๑ ๑

it’s been two painstakingly long hours and still no call or text from jay. the worry was only building up inside you. what if something bad really did happen ? what if he needed your help and you left him all alone to fend for himself ? the guilt was slowly starting to eat you up, consuming your already troubled mind. but then again, you thought you may be overthinking as you usually do. he was probably having the time of his life, probably even went to some after party with them. the betrayal of him leaving you still lingered in your thoughts. how could he have done this to you ? maybe he really was the selfish jerk that mark always painted him out to be. but maybe you were just as bad for letting him leave like that. you should’ve been more assertive, now you won’t be getting any sleep tonight until you know for sure that jay will be fine.

you decide to call mark, needing to get all of this off your chest before you drove yourself anymore mentally insane than you already are. he picked up on the last ring, assuming that he was most likely asleep by now.

“hello ?” the sound of his sleepy voice gave you a sense of comfort, which is exactly what you needed at this time.

“hey..” you spoke softly, unsure of what to even say right now. you didn’t want to say anything straight away, you had to lean in towards that kind of conversation first.

“how was the concert ?” he asks, yawning as he kept talking.

you paused for a second, knowing that you’ll worry him the minute you finally express what happened hours ago. “there was a fire...”

“what ?!” there was absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared him for that, now he’s the one in full-blown panic mode.

“yeah..” was all you said in return, still trying to wrap your head around everything. the mental image of all those people still trapped inside, unknowing of their indefinite fate will forever stick with you.

“holy fuck.. you’re okay, right ?!” you could hear his body shifting under the sheets as he fully woke up from hearing this tragic news. he would’ve never been able to forgive himself had you not survived, he’d spend all of eternity blaming himself for it.

“yeah.. i’m fine. there was a stampede, you could hear their bones breaking and people running out the building as they were still on fire.. i don’t even wanna know how many didn’t make it out..” you felt sick to your stomach, you should’ve done more to help but all you thought about was saving yourself, how selfish…

“fuck.. i’m so sorry you had to see that y/n, i’m just really glad that you were able to get out of there…”

“jay left with that band but i told him not to.. he hasn’t spoken to me since then and i’m really worried, we have to go save him !” you couldn’t shake this ominous feeling that something went horribly wrong, you had to trust your instincts on this one.

“who cares about jay ! people died !” mark was baffled by how you were still only thinking about him when the main person you should be worrying about is yourself.

he then proceeded to go on an endless tirade about how horrible of a friend jay is and that he knew he shouldn’t have let you go there with someone as untrustworthy as him. you just “okay” and “alright” your way out of everything he said, but you still had this deep inkling that you were right and you need to be there to rescue him. there was no real proof that he’d be in any danger, but something just seemed so off about that group as a whole..

that’s when you heard the sudden buzz of your doorbell, thinking it may just be your roommate who forgot her key, though it was quite late and you wouldn’t expect her to be coming back around at this time of night. you stilled in your bed, internally debating whether or not you should go down there to investigate; but you ultimately decide to do so anyway.

“shh, wait— mark i think i hear someone at the door...” you tell him as you hesitantly get up, putting on your bunny slippers and slipping on a robe before slowly creaking the door open.

“who is it?” he asks, just as confused as you were.

“i-i don’t know.. that’s what i’m trying to find out..” you whisper, heading into the hallway, producing quiet footsteps as you held onto the railing that lead downstairs.

the air around you felt suffocating, only met with a grim silence whilst putting one foot in front of the other. each step you took became increasingly more cautious, you had no idea why you were such a nervous wreck or why you thought there’d be an imminent threat lurking your way, but the way your heart was thudding rapidly out of your chest made your flight or fight senses fly off the radar.

finally making it to the door, you suck in a bated breath, swallowing the thick lump that sat in the back of your throat. your hands shakily curled around the shiny knob but the minute you open it you’re left feeling even more uneasy as there wasn’t anything nor anyone at your doorstep. just pitch black darkness greeting you, along with the chilling sound of trees rustling through the wind. a heavy, lingering fog accompanied the atmosphere, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.

you were puzzled, feeling as though someone was playing a sick joke on you. you could’ve sworn you heard it, unless you really were going crazy after all. you knew that you were a little loose around the edges, but there’s no way that you could’ve made that up— it was far too realistic. soon as you were about to brush this whole thing off and chalk it up as just a freak accident, your ears detected faint shuffling, movement coming from a far distance. this time coming from inside the confines of your own home.

…what in the actual fuck is going on right now ?

“i just heard something from the kitchen..” you made sure to keep your voice low, mind and body riddled with the fear of the unknown as you clutched onto the phone harder than ever. you couldn’t see much of anything, but you followed whatever the hell was making all that commotion.

“don’t go near it ? what the fuck, that’s horror movie 101 knowledge. never go to the noise !” mark warns but you don’t take his advice, instead you slowly crept into the living room, remaining vigilant of every move you take.

the noise only grew louder and since you knew that your roommate wasn’t here, this only made your panic heighten, afraid that there may be a possible intruder. carefully stepping into the kitchen without making a sound, your hands scramble to find the switch, turning on the light to reveal the cause of your worry. the noise stopped the minute you were able to see again, and an instant sigh of relief leaves you once you notice it was just a leaky faucet, screwing the handle to shut it back in place. but that relief would soon deem itself short lived when you hear that same cacophony of sounds from earlier, again.

you spun around to see your fridge wide open, and someone actively rummaging through it. your body froze in place, simply unable to move no matter how hard you tried to relax your muscles. it was as if something were controlling you, telling you not to move an inch; like it was protecting you from whatever may be on the other side. scraps of food met the tiled floors, containers and cartons being tossed and thrown in a rampage. as the refrigerator finally came to a close, you were more than shocked to see that it was none other than jay, who’s covered in dried blood from head to toe.

“mark.. i’ll call you back i gotta go..” you muttered quickly to your boyfriend, feeling the need to tend to your friend who’s clearly not in the best of conditions right now.

“what?! no, don’t hang up y/n, please don-” you hang up on him before he could even finish. you were slowly able to regain your strength again, tiptoeing towards the boy who hasn’t even bothered to look up at you yet.

he looked more than unwell, as if he had just survived the most brutal attack of his life. his actions resembled nothing of a human, watching as he mindlessly consumed whatever he could find in his wake. he came across a pack of raw chicken that you’ve yet to open, savagely tearing through it, devouring the meat with his bare hands. you weren’t sure how to react to any of this, but you knew that he was exhibiting anything but normal behavior.

“what are you doing ?!” you finally broke the quietness that filled the room, but you were met with no response in return.

upon hearing your startled voice, he stopped eating and averts his gaze to you. his eyes were soulless, no emotion throughout him whatsoever, looking at you as if he’s never seen you before. instead of getting up he crawls over to you, still refusing to utter a single word. your lips part to speak again but you notice a shift in his odd aura, he began coughing in the most grotesque way possible, as if he were trying to get something to leave out of his body. that’s when he starts to profusely vomit, everywhere. it wasn’t just any normal vomit though, it was a black, spiny fluid, spread all over the tiles and even spilling onto your clothes.

“jay what the hell’s wrong with you ?!” you yell at him but it was no use. he was never going to answer you, it was like he was possessed by some kind of spirit.

he finally got up on his feet, never breaking eye contact with you, his dark pupils pierced through you like the sharp edge of a butcher knife. jay could smell the fear you emitted, it only made him want to gravitate towards you more. the only sane option that ran through your mind was to call the police, taking several steps backward from his presence, but of course he doesn’t let you do that. he only moves faster, pushing you up against the wall with superhuman aggression. he grabs ahold of your wrist tightly, forcing you to drop your phone, a loud thud produced as it made contact with the ground. he remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, flashing you an eerie smile, only a hairs breadth away from meeting your plush lips.

you whimpered in fear, but he keeps shushing you, petting the crown of your head like you were a crying, wounded animal in need. “are you scared?” he whispers into you ear, already knowing the answer to that. he only continues to taunt you, licking a long, slow paced stripe along the base of your neck, coating his saliva onto your soft, shivering skin.

he wouldn’t go any further than that, simply letting go of you and backing away as if he just now was able to acknowledge what he’s done. his breathing grew heavier, unable to even look at you, it felt as though he couldn’t control his own body anymore. before you could do anything, he swiftly heads out of the back door, leaving without a trace.

“jay !” you try to call after him, but to no avail, you were left all alone, traumatized for the second time of the night.

you’ve went through the five stages of grief all in under a minute, unsure of what to even do in this moment. you’re standing here, confused, overwhelmed, and mortified— but now there’s black vomit all over your kitchen floor and on yourself. you weeped again, hopelessly trying to piece together the fragments of what the fuck just happened moments ago.

๑ ๑ ๑

the next day everyone’s talking about the fire at school. many were mourning the losses of their precious loved ones, sobbing uncontrollably from the horrific events that occurred from the night before. you sat in physics class with jay, who acted as if nothing even happened last night, carrying on as he normally did. your professor mr. choi, took a moment to speak about what happened, mentioning the saddening news that took place not even 24 hours ago. what was even more odd was that jay was smirking the entire time, attempting to hold in his laughter as he heard the professor speak, you hit his arm in response of his apathy.

“this isn’t funny..” you scold him for being so insensitive, “people died, jay ! it’s all over the news, we even made it internationally…”

he rolls his eyes, “yeah, so? people die everyday y/n, they’re not special. i’ll give it a week max and i bet you no one will be talking about it anymore.”

how could he even say something like that ? especially knowing that he knew some of the people who passed away, your beloved peers who fought for their lives at the very last seconds of being alive. it was more than insensitive, it was just plain cruel.

“what’s wrong with you ?!” you looked at him as if he’s gone mad, which he quite literally has considering what took place at your apartment last night. you haven’t mentioned it to him yet but you were reluctant on doing so, he’d probably deny everything anyway.

“what’s wrong with you ?? god.. did someone piss in your cereal this morning?” he wasn’t even remotely phased by anything you were saying, if anything, he saw it as one big mockery.

you scoff in response, mumbling something under your breath as you listen to the professor continue on with his speech. you always knew jay was the type to never wear his emotions on his sleeve, but it really rubbed you the wrong way at how he didn’t seem to shed an ounce of care about any of the people who lost their lives so abruptly.

“stop talking to yourself, makes you look even more like a weirdo,” jay quickly comments, he was irritating you the more he kept talking. if you weren’t in this classroom right now, you’d be cursing him out and giving him hell to pay— but you simply kept your mouth shut for the time being. there’s a time and place for certain things..

your melancholy only worsened as the day went by, feeling this heavy, cinder block weight of depression carried on your shoulders. the more you thought of it, the more shitty you felt. anyone would have survivor’s guilt after what you’d gone through, but it only multiplied as it fully settled in, you felt guilty for even doing something as minuscule as breathing. you truly believed that you didn’t deserve to survive, that it should’ve be you in place of someone else… why didn’t you help anyone ?

once class was dismissed, you hurried up out of your seat to go meet up with your boyfriend. jay followed behind you like a lapdog of course, but you didn’t want to speak to him. you debated on confronting him about yesterday, though you decided not to as you weren’t even sure where to begin.. you’d like to think that this was all just some intense fever dream you had but you know it wasn’t.

you physically remember being there, in your kitchen, sobbing to yourself while cleaning up the mess that jay left. you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, not after the way he looked at you like that. vividly picturing the devil’s carved grin plastered on his face, like he was going to rip your heart out of your small body and eat you alive. if you’re being completely honest, you were more fearful of your own life in that moment than you were at the bar.

even if you did tell him what happened, there’s a slim chance he’d take any responsibility for his own actions. his pride would never let him. you remember when you were kids he’d always make you get into so much trouble with him, but the minute you two got caught he’d simply deny everything and pin it all on you. jay was always able to manipulate his way out of just about anything— sociopaths are quite charismatic. you’d often joke with him that he was one, to which he’d never deny or confirm. deep down you’d hope that your own best friend wasn’t, but those old memories gave you all the same reminiscing feelings you felt years ago. or maybe, you were just as demented as he is.. birds of a feather flock together, right ?

๑ ๑ ๑

jay would only become increasingly possessive as time went on. he’s always exhibited quite clingy behaviors but things only snowballed from the night at the bar and onwards. he’d constantly be blowing up your phone, texting you the weirdest, most cryptic shit at 4 in the morning; or if you didn’t respond fast enough for his liking, he’d call you over twenty times until you finally answered, not caring at all if you were with mark. he only made you feel more guilty if you expressed needing space, simply threatening to harm himself or make it seem as if it’d be your fault if something bad were to happen and you didn’t pick up the phone. you don’t know what’s gotten into him lately, but he surely hasn’t been acting like himself ever since he interacted with that band.

a month has flown by and you notice jay was starting to look paler than a ghost, the dark circles under his eyes made it seem as though he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. he looked like death. as if his own flesh was eating him from the inside out. you thought maybe it could be due to stress of some kind, but it wasn’t humanly possible for him to change this drastically. he resembled nothing short of a sickly patient lying on their deathbed, awaiting the grim reaper to come knocking at their doorstep at any minute. he lost a lot of muscle mass as well, turning into a weaker, much more frail version of himself. it truly pained you to see him in such a state, how sunken in his face was, gaunt like a skeleton. an unbearable sight indeed..

“you look like shit..” you tried to say it the nicest way possible but there was no other way to express your concerns, “you okay.. ?”

“gee thanks, and yeah, never been better actually.” jay replied, his tone laced with the utmost sarcasm.

obviously you don’t take his word for it. you know there’s something deeper going on but you didn’t impose any further. you didn’t want him to get upset or agitated with anymore of your prying, so you let it go for now.

the distressing environment around campus only thickens when a brutal murder was reported a few weeks ago. the sight of a decomposing body was found in the middle of the woods, right behind the football field. one of the professors discovered it as they took a walk along the trail— later identified to be soojin, the pretty little captain of the cheer team. her organs were scattered all over the perimeters, painting the greenery with a bold, crimson hue. some parts of her corpse weren’t able to be located, as most of her disemboweled body was eaten by the hungry animals, feasting on her rotting flesh like they just scored a full course meal.

this only caused an uproar of mass hysteria throughout the school, leaving everyone to believe that there may be something even more sinister going on. a vigil was held for her just as there was for the other victims who died in the fire; friends, family, and other town folk gathered around in memory of her. a police investigation was launched shortly after, but there haven’t been many updates on the case so far as no foul play was detected. the authorities simply assumed it to be an animal attack— albeit one of the most gruesome and barbaric attacks they’ve ever seen in their careers.

when you spoke to jay about it one night, you discussed all possible theories you’ve been brainstorming in your head. you believed it very well could’ve been an animal that did it, possibly a wild bear that just enjoys munching on humans for dinner— but he told you that was far from likely. however, you thought maybe he was only saying that just to instill more fear in you, which secretly worked.

you didn’t completely dismiss the possibility of it being some bloodthirsty animal.. she was torn limb from limb with absolutely no sign of weapons being used, so the likeliness of a regular person being able to do something of that caliber with their own bare hands made it almost slim to none. you truly thought her death was one of the saddest ways to go out.. you never spoke to soojin a day in your life but she was pretty popular and fairly well liked amongst everyone, you’d never guess her of all people would end up with a fate like this.

as you trudged through the halls, you bumped into one of your classmates ryujin, who’s been asking nonstop if you could set her up with jay. you’ve known for a while that she’s always had a thing for him and was hoping you could play cupid and be the middle man for her. you’d been putting it off for a while since you highly doubted that he’d reciprocate those same feelings, but being the good sport you are, you end up telling her that you’ll talk to jay, although you couldn’t make any promises.

upon meeting up with jay later on in the day, you proposed the idea to him, but of course, he declined almost straight away saying he wasn’t interested. he referred to her as that ‘weird, stoner goth chick who tries too hard’ and wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole. you definitely expected him to be adverse to your idea, but maybe not to this extent. you just wanted to see your friend happy but of course jay always has to ruin it…

however, not even an hour later, he ends up agreeing to it, as if a switch had flipped in his brain. you thought it was a bit strange how he’d simply gone from one extreme to the next but you didn’t question it as you had no reason to. ultimately, you were just happy for ryujin, at least she’d get to spend some alone time with her crush.

you on the other hand, had a multitude of worries of your own. you and mark were supposed to go see the new twilight movie in theaters, just to get your mind off everything— yet what you felt most anxious about was what’ll occur afterwards. you were planning on losing your virginity tonight, feeling as though you were ready to take the next step with him. well, at least you thought so.. but now you weren’t even feeling sure of that anymore. a part of you felt pressured to just lose it already and since you were dating mark, you may as well do it, right ? if only it were that simple..

๑ ๑ ๑

your nerves were at an all time high as you laid beneath his bare form. inhaling, exhaling, and repeating those same steps over and over. your mind was racing a million miles per minute, staring up at the ceiling as you rethink all of your life decisions.

everything seemed fine at first, until it wasn’t..

you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it, but all you knew was that this felt strange.. something doesn’t feel right.. all you could do was lay there, utterly detached from reality.

numbness.. that’s all you felt..

you wanted to crawl into your own skin and die, you shouldn’t be so repulsed by your own boyfriend being on top of you— but that was the only emotion you bore.

everything felt so foreign to you, his touch, the way he caressed you, it didn’t feel right. you couldn’t shake this odd sensation, it was something you didn’t want for yourself. you wanted to puke, absolutely sick to your stomach.

he kissed your neck, but you don’t feel a thing. completely stoic and emotionless. all you’re thinking about right now is jay. you had this inclination that something went terribly wrong and you needed an escape.

“i-i can’t do this.. i’m sorry..” you finally say out loud, quickly pushing him off of you before anything else could continue.

“did i do something wrong ?” mark asks, confused by your sudden coldness.

you simply don’t answer, scrambling to put on your clothes and leaving his house in a hurry to go and run to your car. you began driving in the direction of jay’s dorm, not knowing whether he’d be there or not. the limited amount of streetlights made it even more difficult to see, but you spot a shadowy figure heading towards you on the main road.

in a rush of panic you slammed onto the brakes hard, trying not to run over whatever’s coming towards the vehicle, thinking it was probably a deer or something—but you see that it’s jay, his clothes stained in blood just like night he was in your kitchen. you immediately got out of the car to go help him but he was no longer there anymore, as if he’s vanished into thin air.

confusion doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.. reluctantly heading back home, hoping that it was all some vivid hallucination that you were having— but the minute you went upstairs into your room, you see jay sitting on your bed, not a single drop of blood detected anywhere on him anymore.

“what are you doing here ?” you ask, blankly staring down at him over the rim of your glasses.

“just wanted to drop by and see my favorite girl.” he smiles crookedly, looking much healthier than he did when you saw him earlier, “what’s wrong with that, hm?”

“why’re you in my bed ? just go back to your dorm jay.” you didn’t have time for his little games right now, you just wanted to shut the whole world out.

“but i wanna stay… plus we always used to sleep together when we had sleep overs.” he pouts, proceeding to get even more comfortable as he had no plans on leaving anytime soon.

“is that my grateful dead t-shirt?” you get a bit closer to examine, growing irritated that he went through your stuff without even asking.

he doesn’t respond, at least not in the way you think he would. instead, jay harshly pressed his lips against yours. stretching the neckline of your shirt to pull all your weight on top of his. he managed to have some self control at first, but that didn’t last too long as he savored the taste of you. hesitantly, you kissed him back, whimpering at the feel of his tongue prodding at your lips, begging for entry. your mouth slightly parts, giving him just enough leeway for him to devour you in the sloppiest, most depraved way possible. he kissed you hard, hard enough to knock the wind out of you. nothing but raw passion and burning desire throughout.

his lips moved in perfect harmony with yours, tangling your hands into his messy, raven locks. jay would only grow more unhinged, never letting you gasp for air for more than half a second. he explored the depths of you, every nook and cranny, like he wanted you down to the marrow, swallowing you whole. he felt this primal urge in wanting to bite you, to sign your death with his teeth— but he resisted, at least not yet anyway.

when his hands came up to find your hips, his touch felt scorching hot against your skin… lifting your skirt up inch by inch. then the realization of what you’re doing finally hits, that you have a goddamn boyfriend and this isn’t something you should ever be doing with your best friend. quickly getting off of him, shouting in protest.

“jay, what the fuck ?!” you were horrified, not even wanting to look at him anymore.

“language y/n !” he giggles at your filthy vocabulary, licking his lips to capture your taste once more, “don’t act like you weren’t enjoying it either.”

“but i’ll admit, the reason i’m here exactly is.. i have a confession to make..” he takes a dramatic pause before continuing, “i haven’t been completely honest with you, and you’re the only one i can trust.”

you look at him strangely, unsure of what he fully meant by that, “what is it..”

“i’m dead.”

now you’re staring at him as if he just said the most absurd shit you ever heard, which quite literally it was.

“huh ? what do you mean you’re dead?”

“what do you not understand y/n, it’s pretty self explanatory.” he casually says if he were simply talking about the weather.

“i’m not sure i follow..” you didn’t get where he was heading with any of this, hoping that it’s just some joke with a bad punchline.

“it means i’m dead— as in not alive.” he repeats nonchalantly.

“jay, shut up. you’re not funny.” crossing your arms in annoyance, growing more impatient with him by the second.

“it’s true, i swear !”

“you’re ridiculous..” you’ve had enough of his little shenanigans, ready to walk away from him but he grabs you at the last minute, forcibly bringing you back to meet his gaze.

“just listen, it’ll all make sense soon,” he pleads, flashing you a sweet, puppy eyed look that could make anyone fold almost instantly.

“‘kay.. fine whatever.” you heave a sigh, sitting back down on your bed, still a bit reluctant on hearing him out.

“there’s something inside me… an evil entity,” he explains further, “ever since that night at the bar my body feels.. different.” he proceeds to tell you this dumb story that you weren’t buying for a second.

“c’mon, you really expect to believe tha-”

he cuts you off, proceeding to go on a whole tangent, “remember that band i told you about ? they drove me out to the creek, dragged me out of the van and offered me as a virgin sacrifice in exchange for fame and fortune. they kept telling me how hard it was to make it as an indie band so this was the only option they had left.. all i can remember afterwards was how much pain i was in… they each took turns stabbing me to death, singing some creepy chant as they did it, then they lit me on fire.. but the problem is that i’m not a virgin, so when scar and her little gang murdered me the ritual backfired and a demonic spirit took over my body. i was able to escape the forest but i left feeling so hungry.. so on my way back home, i saw some girl on the opposite side of the pavement, she looked quite edible so i ate her. and that’s how i started eating human flesh.”

you had no words. your only reaction was to blink rapidly at everything he just told you. there’s no way he could be telling you the truth, stuff like that only happens in movies, pure fiction. “that’s the craziest fucking story you’ve ever made up in your entire life jay.”

he seemingly grows frustrated at the fact you aren’t taking his words seriously, but he kept on talking anyway. “i’m being serious y/n, you’ve gotta believe me ! they’re basically agents of satan, they simply used me as a pawn. i was their gateway to the lifestyle they so desperately wanted to achieve..”

“so what you’re saying is that you’ve been reincarnated as a demonic spirit that feeds off of human flesh ? that’s what you’re trying to get at ??” you ask, confirming his very weird, but oddly specific narrative.

jay nods, “yes, that’s precisely what i’m trying to say.”

“so.. you’re telling me you’re the one who killed soojin ?” you question outrightly, hoping at the very least he had nothing to do with it, but if what he is saying was true that could very well be a possibility.

he nods again, “yep. and ryujin.”

your blood ran cold the minute upon hearing that, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, “wait- what ?!”

“yeah, i only agreed to meet up with her just to eat her. so it’s practically your fault that she’s dead.” he shrugs, seeing it as if it was no big deal.

you couldn’t comprehend a single thing your ears were hearing right now.. your own classmate was dead and gone because of your best friend.

“you’re a fucking monster.. she had a whole life ahead of her. hopes and dreams just like the rest of us..”

“well, now she’s food for worms, sucks to suck,” jay shrugs again, speaking so nonchalant about everything it made you want to scream at the top of your lungs.

disgusted didn’t even amount up to what you felt, sitting there in silence trying to process all of this.

“anyway, wanna see something cool?” he asks, not even bothering to await your response as you gave him the most questionable look of all mankind.

“i can withstand any injury without pain and i’m difficult to kill, see.” he takes one of your gel pens from your nightstand and stabs it straight into his own wrist, he was bleeding heavily at first but then the wounds start to close up within a few seconds, eventually fading away as if he didn’t just stab himself at all.

“see ! how cool is that ?? like some x-men type shit,” he says like a giddy school kid, bragging over his new abilities. “when i’m full, i’m practically invincible. i’m a fucking god.”

again, you were too stunned to speak. you genuinely thought you were losing your mind at this point, there’s no way any of this is real. it’s all a bad dream. you just need to pinch yourself and you’ll wake up, right ..?

“oh by the way, that night i snuck into your place, i was having all sorts of thoughts.. even thought about hurting you but i could never do that..” he finally admits to the night when he went into your kitchen, “i was just so hungry but nothing would satisfy my craving..” his eyes were a window to the truth, and by the looks of how empty they were, it was safe to assume you still had every right to frightened.

“jay, i- i really think you should leave…” your whole body was practically shaking, you couldn’t bear to look but you were far more terrified of looking away— falling apart at the seams.

he doesn’t even budge a little upon hearing you, “oh c’monn y/n, let me stay the night; we can play boyfriend and girlfriend like we used to… good times am i right ?” he strokes your hand with his, not even fully understanding the gravity of what he’s done or said this whole time.

“jay you’re freaking me the fuck out !” you raise your voice louder, removing yourself away from his touch. how could you let a literal murderer touch you ?

“there’s no need for you to be. i already told you that i’m not gonna hurt you.. at least not in that way..” jay clung onto you again, this time dragging you back down onto the bed as he forced himself on top of you.

you scrunch your eyes shut at the feel of his hands on you, idle fingers sneaking under the hem of your top. a surge of heat flushes down your thighs, blood rushing to your cheeks... and to your core. god, you were so embarrassed right now.

“w-what are you doing …?” you breathe out, opening your eyes once again, only to see him staring straight into your soul.

“don’t get all shy on me now.. we’re just havin’ a bit of fun,” he answers, “just messing around like the old days, right ?” he slid his index finger under the band of your skirt, pulling you closer to him, his lips only centimeters away from yours.

“jay no, please-” you begin, but don’t have the time to finish your sentence.

“shh, it’s okay, i’ll take the lead. we can go slow… i promise i won’t bite. unless you want me to.” he darkly chuckles, tilting his head to the side, pressing a light kiss to your lips. surprisingly, you reciprocate it. he pulls his hand away from your skirt, enveloping it around your throat, not putting too much pressure around it just yet. “see, i knew you’d be into it, you’re my little freak, aren’t you ?”

you hated that you were getting aroused from this, the way he spoke to you in that husky tone. that same bubbling heat rushing to your core again.. you wanted to fight it, you truly did, but you couldn’t. your mind was telling you one thing but your body was reacting differently, as if you were under some spell that he casted.

you don’t know what to answer to that. is there even anything you can even say back to him ? you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. and besides, what’s the point of lying when he has you trapped between his large body and your mattress, his fingers gripping your neck, his lips brushing over your face, would you really be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying this ? he practically knows you better than your own self at times, of course he’d be able to tell…

he kisses you again, but this time much hungrier, his tongue dominating yours easily. he nudges your legs open with his knee, his other hand swiftly diving under the hem of your skirt, groping your soft flesh in a lewd way that keeps you out of breath— apart from the fact that his tongue is currently exploring your mouth.

he grazes the bump of your pussy covered by your lace panties with his fingers, making your knees buckle at the unexpected contact. you wanted to close your legs shut, but when he slowly rubs the pad of his middle finger over your clit, a desperate whine escapes your throat, muffled by his mouth on yours. the moment only brief until he dips his hand into your underwear.

you try to make him stop by grabbing ahold of his wrist, pulling away from his lips to pathetically whisper a ‘p-please’ that only makes him chuckle in response.

“mm.. already begging for me, sweetheart ?” he softly laughs, smirking at you. “excited by the idea of my fingers in your little cunt instead of your boyfriend’s ? hm ?”

you frown because that wasn’t the reason why you begged him, but now that he said this... your thoughts are going into a completely different direction. what the hell’s wrong with you ?

“you wanna know how it feels, baby? what it’s like to have your pussy stuffed by someone else’s fingers…” his dirty talk only continues, you couldn’t fathom this was really jay speaking to you in such a vulgar manner like this. your best friend who’s about to take your virginity whether you wanted it to happen or not, he was going to make sure that mark could never have you in such a way, wanted to ruin it for everyone else like he always does.

he’s not waiting for a response as he starts stroking your bundle of nerves in slow circular motions, applying some pressure to really make you feel it. you let out another whine, this time of genuine pleasure.

jay then shifts down to your entrance, circling it with a lot of delicacy, but this gentleness of his doesn’t go on for too long as he pushes a finger into you without warning. you bit down on your bottom lip harshly— the size of his fingers in no comparison to yours. your eyes swelled with water, faint little cries escaping your mouth when he adds a second digit.

“i know, i know,” he whispers, “must be uncomfortable, hm?” you nod your head, confirming his words. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise. you’re probably only used to the feel of your tiny fingers, it’s normal…”

when he says this, you have a hard time believing him. how could it feel good when you weren’t at all prepared for this— when it’s not what you wanted..

he begins moving his fingers in and out of you, slow and long strokes at first, circling your clit with his thumb at the same time. he’d curls his fingers every so often, making a little hook shape, patting your sweet spot. the intrusion was uncomfortable, but it progressively gets so much more pleasurable as he thrusts into you at a regular pace.

tears continued to flow, falling down to your cheeks, lashes all wet and sticky, but they weren’t the result of your pain…

“god.. look at you. so pretty when you cry,” jay murmurs beside your ear, butterflies swirling in your stomach when he tells you this.

he unwraps his hand from your throat to instead grab your thigh, placing your leg around his shoulder. you now feel his fingers way deeper inside of you, gently and deliciously stimulating your g spot. you dare to look down where his left hand is operating between your thighs, sliding in until he’s knuckles deep into your pussy. this makes you breathless, head rolling back onto your pillows, having never experienced anything like this before.

“o-oh my god-!” you exclaim when jay’s ministrations bring you so close to your orgasm. your legs couldn’t stop twitching, your body warning you of your approaching high.

you’d probably be more aware of how hard he was if it weren’t trapped in his loosely fitting jeans, but you literally cannot focus on anything else other than jay fingering you, hitting your sensitive spots each time he thrusts in.

“that’s it, baby,” he coaxes, moving faster. “you feel it ? huh?” he asks and you’re able to croak out a weak ‘yes’. “tell me how it feels.”

you hate his questions— you hate them so damn much. he knows how you feel, but he wants you to say it, he wants you to say that you enjoy it, and… your body really does.

“g-good.”

“yeah?” he breathes out, fucking your cunt with his fingers, enthralled by the little moans and whimpers you let out.

“yes,” you confirm, closing your eyes and slowly nodding your head. “fuck !” you curse out when you finally reach your high, nails digging into his forearm as you ride out your orgasm, your entire body violently shaking.

jay helps you by slowly rubbing your puffy dewy clit in circles, telling you more dirty words in your ear, all while said in the sweetest tone, as if what he’s doing can be described as anything sweet.

“good girl,” he praises, “see, i told you it’d feel great.”

he still has his head in the crook of your neck, and you frown at the feeling of sharp teeth against your skin. it’s barely there, just brushing over it, as if hesitating to act… but jay retrieves back, looking into your reddened eyes.

he could simply stop there, but he won’t— not until he fully got what he wanted, he needs more…

he pulls his hand out of your panties, fingers glistening with your arousal. “open wide for me, baby,” he instructs.

you glance at his hand, a little repulsed. you’ve never thought about tasting yourself and it’s surely nothing you’d have ever done… if not for him.

you then reluctantly open your mouth and he enters his wet fingers in.

“suck,” he adds on, expecting you to blindly follow all of his orders, and you do so without a second thought.

he stares down at you while you lick his fingers clean and he slides them a bit deeper, pushing down on your tongue. the taste of yourself isn’t what you thought it’d be… it doesn’t taste like much of anything, in fact.

he removes his fingers from your mouth only to put them in his own after. “just as sweet as you are,” he grins. “stand up for me, wan’ you to suck me off.”

your wobbly legs do their best at balancing themselves, slowly getting up only to be told to get back down on your knees. you sink down to the ground, leaning over to eye his stiff erection through his pants, slowly rubbing your hand over it as you palm him in your grasp. he hisses at the feel, already loving how you obediently take orders, how you’ve become nothing but a mindless slut for him.

you didn’t know the first thing you were doing but you did what felt natural, so you free his cock from the confines of his pants and underwear, watching as it sprung out and slapped against his stomach. jay was huge. his veiny, pink dick standing tall in front of you, gulping as you debate on how you’re going to take all of him in your tiny mouth.

his length throbbed in your small hand, tip already leaking out a pearly bead of precum, dribbling onto your fingers. you slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of him and to get used to the feel. then you swirled your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of his precum against your tongue.

“fuck… feel so good around me already,” he bit his lip harshly, gripping the sheets as he groans with pleasure.

you wrap your mouth tighter around his length as you begin to slide your head down. bobbing it back and forth, keeping a tight suction on his cock, making sure not to use any teeth. you feel jay’s hips jolt up from the feel as you drew more saliva from your mouth, making a mess all over yourself.

he let out a low moan when his length hits the back of your throat, accidentally gagging at how much you took. you couldn’t take all of him in your mouth completely, but you did the best with what you could, bobbing your head as your hand stroked the rest. the way you looked while taking him made him want to bust at the very sight, nothing could compare to having your mouth around him.

“atta girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” he keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. he does his best not to keep his eyes off you but he wanted to shut his eyes from how good you were making him feel, you were such a natural at this. as you continued stroking his cock with your pretty, talented mouth, he elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make him cum faster.

jay bit his lip even harder, trying so hard not to close his eyes, taking in shallow breaths. he could feel himself getting closer and his whole body tenses up like he’s got a volcano erupting inside him.

“shit— think ‘m gonna come… damn baby…”

you couldn’t say anything since his cock was buried deep down your throat. the only thing on your mind right now was getting him to finish inside your mouth. you lightly hum as you pick up your pace, he matches your movements with his hips, fucking your mouth aggressively. there was saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. a beautiful mess, all for jay.

you feel his thickness throbbing in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. white ropes of his cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, to which you earn yourself a “good girl” as you look up at him, drinking up all his cum. surprisingly, he tasted pretty good, emptying every last drop of him, once you finally pulled away he orders for you to get back on the bed and to bend over for him. you only hesitated for a second, looking at him credulously before doing what he asked of you, trembling legs meeting with the soft sheets again.

“are you…?” you say under your breath, peering over your shoulder to see jay stroking himself, looking at your glistening pussy that’s spread on perfect display for him.

“gonna put my cock inside you ?” he finishes your question for you. “yeah, i am.”

you stop breathing at his answer, sensing his deft fingers touching your thighs and hips, going under your skirt to drag your panties down. he pumps himself a couple more times before aligning his head with your dripping wet entrance. his free hand keeping your skirt crumpled up over your ass, laying the other one on your hip.

“careful, sweetheart,” he says softly beside your ear, “this might sting a little bit more than two fingers.” he swipes the head of his cock through your sticky folds and all you can do is moan pathetically at the feeling, lewd, wet noises echoing throughout the room.

you can’t see his length even with the way you contort your head to look over your shoulder, but you’re still able to see his chest and hips moving as he pushes his cock into your pussy. the burning sensation of your cunt getting stretched out was enough to make you see stars, and he was right. this hurts way more than his fingers, the two feelings were not comparable at all.

“jay-,” you cry out, holding onto the sheets below you for dear life until there’s no more blood circulating in your knuckles.

he hears you, loving the sounds you’re making because of him and the way you say his name with eyes full of tears. when he bottoms out inside of you, his pelvis flushed against your ass, he lets out a low grunt and throws his head back, closing his eyes to savour the pleasure entirely.

you bit onto your lip, compressing a moan that dared to slip from your mouth again. he deliberately pounded into you, like he wanted everyone near to know just how badly he was ruining you, wanting you to beg and cry out for mercy, like he wanted every bone in your body to bend and break.

you involuntarily clench around him, making him tighten his grip on your hip. he thrusts himself deeper into you, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy at an agonizingly harsh pace. each time he bottoms out, jay makes sure the skin of his thighs slap against your ass, the sounds almost as loud as your little moans and whimpers.

your wetness allows him to fuck his cock into your pussy back and forth, welcoming him so perfectly without any restriction. it’s almost impossible for him to not hit your sweet spot, and he reaches so much deeper when he lifts up your thigh with the hand that was previously placed on your hip.

you don’t know how long you can stay in this position for, especially when jay’s drilling his hard cock into you like nothing else matters. it’s like he needs it from you, and as the pleasure only builds up in you, you start thinking you need it desperately, too.

you’re breathing heavily, and so is he, feeling his hot breath fanning against your neck when he tilts his head down closer to yours. you can clearly hear his breathing now as well as his deep grunts that leave his mouth every time your gummy walls close tightly around his girth, literally sucking him right in.

“shit,” he curses out as he pushes lightly on your back, deepening the arch of it so your ass is flushed against his pelvis.

he kisses your neck pretty messily, but it only raises the temperature of your body, your skin boiling hot under his soft lips. he leaves a wet trail behind, going up to your ear, down to your shoulder. telling him to stop isn’t even possible anymore, it wouldn’t make any sense… would be absolutely stupid when you’re so close to your second orgasm. as he thrusts into you, his balls smack your pussy, and the sounds are just too vulgar, but it’s honestly arousing you so much. jay lets go of your thigh to take a hold of your jaw, turning it around so he can look at your face.

your mouth gaped to let out big puffs of air, and it’s the same for him, his breathing being irregular and heavy. he didn’t think he would ever need something that badly, which is making you his, surprisingly enough. making you his in whatever way possible; whether it’s by fucking you to death or eating you— or both. jay doesn’t care, he just wants it. it doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to pass through you, arms and legs shaking as the knot at the pit of your stomach snaps. jay feels it very clearly, your walls hugging his cock terribly tightly, bringing him closer to his own orgasm as well.

“please.. jay, so good..”

“gonna come in this tight little virgin pussy.” he captured your waist pulling you closer into him. “wanna put a baby in you, bet you’d like that, huh ?”

“holy fuck,” he hisses, his hip thrusts accelerating, literally burying his cock in your cunt until strings of white paints your insides. “oh, god…”

he stays in this position for a couple of seconds, catching his breath. he then slightly backs away, making sure to keep your skirt crumpled up over your butt, looking at the mess he made of you.

but he wasn’t done just yet, he wanted you to be completely, utterly, and thoroughly ruined by all parts of him. his fingers, his cock, and now his tongue.

“just need another taste..” jay couldn’t get enough of you, practically blinded by lust, all he wants is to have you, only you, no one else was more perfect than you.

he bends down, toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a yelping mess underneath his tongue, tugging onto the sheets, pillows, whatever you could grasp, feeling like you were about to die. he had a strong grip on your thighs, kept you in place while you came on his tongue like you were made for it, so pretty and ashamed that he’s lost all self-restraint, if ever had any to begin with.

he continued to lap at your cunt, kissing and sucking at your clit, moaning into your heat. hands caressing your thighs, fingernails piercing, spreading you open wider for him. you grind against his face and jay couldn’t help but groan at the way you were so enthralled by the feel. his tongue never letting up against your clit, following your cunt with every movement you make, not letting you catch a break from the feeling of him against you.

his mouth domes around your clit, sucking you right in, teeth lightly grazing against your bud, momentarily making your back arch. mid arch, jay slips two fingers into you. the slight sting makes you hiss as he stretches you out again, long digits buried to the knuckles inside of you upon initial thrust. he soon plants open mouthed kisses against your cunt, fingers working their way in and out of you at an obnoxious pace, curling naturally.

the combination of jay’s tongue and fingers, along with his lips planting kisses against your cunt in between sloppy licks, is all too overwhelming. you couldn’t stop clenching around his fingers, pulling them in to beg for more, to which he gladly gives. fingers fucking into you faster, much deeper than ever before. the feeling of your impeding orgasm has you shaking, practically vibrating, unable to brace yourself for it.

tears pooling down the side of your face as you moan out for him. the tips of his fingers repeatedly hit the soft, gushy spot deep inside of you, biting his lip as he watches you come undone for him all over again. his thumb massaged your clit, slowly but surely dragging you further off the edge. you felt yourself relax into his touch, into the feeling of lust and desire fully engulfing your soul. that’s when it takes over… your vision blurs, almost going black, mouth agape as you let out broken moans. it’s all too much for you to handle, but you never want it to end..

your chest is getting hot and heavy, tightening as you cum, releasing all stress and tension, absolutely melting into this state that makes you feel like you’re floating. your body was on cloud nine as your cunt spills all over his fingers, wetness squirting all over jay’s forearm and thighs.

“jay…” you said his name on repeat, so low and barely audible, mind all foggy and hazy, as if he’d hypnotized you and the only word you can say was his name.

๑ ๑ ๑

a modus operandi. every killer has one, don’t they ?

some tend to prey on the young, weak, and most vulnerable. some may even go so far as devising a foolproof scenario that’ll get others to feel sorry for them, only to lure them right into their devious traps.

jay was no exception to this rule. he knew exactly how to use his good looks and charisma to get anyone to fall for his tricks. he didn’t need to put in too much effort, he didn’t have to seek anyone out because they’d come to him anyway. and no one knew a goddamn thing besides you. which only made you want to scream internally. only you knew the real truth.

ryujin’s death was the next topic of discussion for this whole week as more terror spewed upon the town. no one saw it coming, she was the last person anyone would think could be a target. gossip spread around quickly, revealing more details about the scene of the crime.

some of her internal organs were missing and was cannibalized just like soojin was. her body was so badly mutilated the authorities couldn’t even identify her at first. many were now believing it to be an act of some kind of satanic cult as there was a gigantic pentagram smeared in blood on her bedroom mirror. some were even saying that she looked like ‘lasagna with teeth’, to which you shuddered at that mental image being planted in your mind.

there was a campus curfew set in place to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the students. everyone’s worried they’ll be next, and since the killer hasn’t been caught this only made the entire town as a whole become on edge. the streets were barren, no sign of any activity past nine o’clock. no one felt safe, it was as if everything was on lockdown now. many were concerned that the upcoming spring formal would get canceled, but it’s been confirmed that it’ll still be held, although the times were changed from 7-10 PM to 6-8 PM to follow the curfew’s ‘no one out past nine o’clock rule’.

while studying in the library, you decided to do some of your own research about jay’s strange condition, reading as many occult books as you could find. you later discovered that he’s an incubus; a male demon that has sexual activity with other women. he was at his weakest state whenever he’s hungry, needing to feed on human flesh in order to sustain his lifespan and overall appearance. you never believed in the supernatural before all of this, but now that you’ve seen it with your own two eyes, you don’t think you’ll be able to live a normal life again.

“this can’t be real… there’s no way any of this is a coincidence, first the fire now a cannibal psycho’s on the loose?” mark rants about the recent murders as you sat on the swings at the park together. you were jealous of how blissfully ignorant he was, how he had no idea how much deeper this all ran.

“i know… it seems like we can’t catch a break, now the whole words got a raging tragedy boner for us..” you sigh out heavily, still shocked by how much media coverage all of this was getting, and even more uncertain if you wanted to tell him everything.

“you alright ?” he suddenly asks, noticing the way your head hung low as you stared at your feet. it was as if he could read your mind.

you pause for a moment, battling with your own inner demons on whether or not it was a good time to tell him everything, but you decide to be honest. it was the least you could do after what happened the other day…

“actually no.. i’m not..” you couldn’t withhold this information all to yourself anymore, you had to tell mark. you needed to keep him from going to the spring formal; it wasn’t safe for him to go, even if you would be with him.

so you spill everything, starting off from the night of going to the bar with jay, how he was brutally murdered and left for dead by that girl band who used him as a sacrifice, you told him about how he was there in your kitchen, and how he ended up slaughtering so many innocent people in his wake. you felt so sure of yourself that mark would believe you, but you were soon proven wrong the minute he opened his mouth.

“yeah you’ve officially lost it y/n, i hope you know that.” he looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy, mirroring the same actions as you from the night that jay confessed to you.

“i’m telling the truth mark, you’ve gotta believe me. you have to promise me that you won’t go...” you practically beg, hoping that all of this won’t fall on deaf ears, but of course, he doesn’t listen.

“i’m sorry but i don’t believe anything you’re saying right now.” he chooses to remain stubborn, staying in his ignorant little bubble as if you were just making all of this up just to get a reaction out of him.

“mark, i love you and care about you so much, that’s why i’m asking you not to go.” you continue to try and reason with him, hoping that he’ll change his mind somehow, even if you sounded like a lunatic you didn’t care.

“he’s going to strike again that night, i can feel it. it’ll be like an all you can eat buffet for him !” you may not be the most morally correct person, but mark’s life was on the line. you just don’t want him getting turned into satan chow…

“look, i’m going and that’s final y/n. with or without you.” he wasn’t interested in hearing whatever else you had to say, he’s already made up his mind and there no use in changing it.

you huff out of frustration, unable to think of anything else so you do what you feel was best for him and the both of you. “mark, i really didn’t wanna have to do this but it isn’t safe for us to be together. i think it’s best we break up..”

his eyes widened, feeling the pace of his heart quicken at your sudden words, “what ? you can’t be serious, y/n.”

“i bet jay put you up to this, didn’t he ?” his jaw clenched, fuming at the thought of jay conspiring a whole plan in getting you two to finally break up, it’s what he always would’ve wanted, and now mark feels like he’s just lost that seven month long, intensive battle against him.

you repeatedly shook your head, denying his accusation. but deep down you knew that you’ve already broken his trust anyway. maybe it was for the better that you were no longer together.

“are you really too blinded to see? he’s always been a bad influence on you..” mark was fed up at this point, feeling rightfully hurt by how easily you wanted to end this relationship all because of jay. “if he told you to jump, i bet you’d ask ‘how high?’, he’s got you wrapped around his finger, controlling you like a damn puppet !”

you were now the one to get in defensive mode, visibly getting upset. but you couldn’t get too upset, you knew there was a small truth to that statement, you were willing to do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t for jay, but you weren’t just going to let mark talk to you like that. your pride was too strong, plus you were already dealing with enough as it is. parting ways from each other was probably the best solution for you two.

“no.. i was only trying to protect you, but don’t say i didn’t warn you..” you gave him one last chance to rethink his decision but you knew he wouldn’t.

on that note, you end up heading back home. leaving mark all alone to go ponder in his own thoughts, feeling his eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he watched you walk away, fading into the void of obscurity.

๑ ๑ ๑

the night of the spring formal was finally here. the night you’ve been dreading since having that conversation with mark, forcing you to break up with him. the minute you got here you’ve been on high alert, scanning the area for any sign of suspicious activity, bringing a swiss knife with you as an added layer of protection. everyone was dressed in their best attire, bodies swaying to the music as they all tried to have a good time despite of everything that’s been happening. you didn’t see mark which you thought was a good sign, but surprisingly, you also don’t see jay anywhere either.

you were engulfed in nostalgia once mr.bright side by the killers airs on the overhead speakers of the gymnasium; which used to be you and jay’s favorite song in high school, but that fond memory only brought a wave of sadness to your soul now. looking back on those days, you specifically remember how much jay’s presence gave you strength to keep going; to keep existing. you truly felt as though you had no reason to live, but he gave you one.

during your adolescent years, it was nothing but turbulence and chaos. your father would routinely come home at the crack of dawn, drunk as sin and belligerent, destroying everything he touched. your mother would do her best to shield you from seeing and hearing their daily arguments, telling you to go straight to your room and lock the door until she says it’s safe to come back out. but being the nosy, and curious child you were you’d push your ear up to the door and listen. hearing the most horrid, degrading words he’d spew, beating her black and blue until he physically grew tired and passed out on the couch. you’d run away from home a couple times, going to jay for comfort, finding solace in one another.

jay could easily relate to your struggles, how you both felt as though no one saw you as real, raw human beings. his father left before he was even born and his mother would dabble in sex work to keep the lights on. he despised every single one of those men who’d come into his home, sometimes his mom would be gone for several days on end, forcing him to grow up at a young age and take care of himself. he wanted to seek revenge on all of those men who violated her, kill them with his own bare hands. maybe that’s why he’d act out so much, he was just a kid being a kid— but no one ever saw the cries for help, no one paid attention to the signs. just labeled a pretty boy with ugly intentions. you never saw him that way though, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, his saving grace. yeah you may have been the awkward kid who didn’t talk much, but eventually he got you to open up. and ever since then, you’ve been conjoined at the hip.

a part of you still wants to believe that he’s that same naïve boy you once knew, still so lost and so confused. but you couldn’t keep making excuses for him, even if he was a damaged soul, so were you. you truly brought out the best and the worst of each other, having seen each other at some of your lowest points in life. which is why you made a vow to never leave the other behind, but we change and evolve over time, it’s natural to grow distant. jay simply couldn’t handle the fact that someone else made you smile, made you feel all those emotions he made you feel— you were slipping right through his fingers. you were all he had left. and he wasn’t going to lose you, not now, not ever.

๑ ๑ ๑

an hour’s passed by already and there was still no sight of either of the two. your mild worries would soon fester into full blown anxiousness when you get this innate feeling that mark could be in danger. you weren’t exactly sure where he was, or if he’s had an encounter with jay, but all you could think about right now was saving his life. even though you betrayed him in the end by sleeping with jay, you couldn’t let him die, you’d never be able to live with yourself if you let that happen. so you hurried out of there and went looking for him, having zero idea exactly where you were headed, but your mind just kept telling you run, run, run.

you don’t know how long you’ve been running for, maybe around twenty, thirty minutes ? who even knows anymore. your legs grew tired, stopping midway to take a breather, until you ended up at an old abandoned pool house. you had an overwhelmingly bad feeling about the place the more you looked at it, but when you heard the gut wrenching screams coming from inside that only confirmed your suspicions, sounding a lot like someone you knew. you ran inside, following their cries for help as you try and locate which direction it was coming from, only to find jay who seems to have found his next victim— your ex boyfriend.

“get away from him !” you demand while shouting from across the room. you can feel your heartbeat accelerate as you’re speed running towards them both, forcefully pushing him off of mark, tackling jay onto the floor.

“i thought you only did this to girls !” you had held some hope that jay wouldn’t harm him, but then again you should’ve known this was bound to happen..

“i guess you can say i go both ways,” he devilishly smirks, swiping the blood off his lower lip with the sleeve of black tux.

jay throws you off of him, causing you to wince in pain as your face made contact with the cold, tiled ground. you wouldn’t back down that easily though, getting right back up to finish what you started. sprinting towards him before he could get back to the work of his own brutality.

“you know, now that i think of it. you were never a good friend to me,” you angrily spat, walking up to him with your head held high, refusing to let fear win this time. “you used to rip the head off my barbie dolls and pour spoiled milk all over my bed !”

jay chuckles at your little speech, utterly amused by your resilience, even found it cute how you were still reminiscing about the past. “and now i’m eating your boyfriend, at least i’m consistent.” he shrugged.

“you make me fucking sick..” you grit through your teeth, grabbing ahold of him before he could take another bite out of mark’s shoulder.

using all your strength, you’d shoved him into the pool, submerging him into the water, attempting to drown him, but those efforts were futile when he regains control. he pulls you back, teeth becoming sharper, like tiny daggers, sinking them into the flesh of your neck. before you could react, you’re the one being lodged into the water; claw-like nails digging into your scalp, razor sharp, weighty against your skull.

it’s hard to keep your head above the water due to the forceful heaviness and before you know it, attempting to hold your breath renders itself useless due to large amounts of water infiltrating your lungs. you’re flailing, thrashing around, arms lifting— hands frantically attempting to grab ahold of anything, only to slash through the water, legs kicking mindlessly.

you had to get him off you real quick, or else you felt as though you were going to die. your body grew weaker and weaker, seeing your life flash before your very eyes as panic fully sets in. it felt as though this was going on for hours.. being edged by death over and over; feeling as if you were going to black out soon. your vision was blocked by the dark, murkiness of the water, ensuring to agitate you with fright, unsure of when it’s all going to come to an end.

and then it does… finally able to emerge from the coldness as you cough up all the water you inhaled. it took a few minutes for you to be able to learn how to breathe again, attempting to calm yourself down, only to turn around seeing both jay and mark wailing in pain for two completely different reasons. mark was lying on the ground, putting pressure on his neck as jay stood there frozen, holding onto the pool skimmer that was deliberately pierced through his stomach.

“you son of a fucking bitch…” he mutters, remaining still for a second, as if he was processing what just happened. a slew of more curses left his lips, sucking in air through his teeth to appease the pain as much as he can. he’d slowly but surely drop to his knees, and a few seconds later he’s collapsing to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

you go up to mark, staring down at his wounded figure, his neck and shoulder bleeding profusely. “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you..” you sniffled, unable to hold back tears you’ve shed, wishing you could’ve been just a few minutes earlier.

“it’s okay.. i love you y/n..” mark weakly spoke, coughing up red splatters of blood as he took his last few and final breathes.

you gave him one last kiss as his eyes closed, you checked for a pulse but there was no sign of life, officially pronouncing him dead. you turned around and jay was gone. forcing you to run out of the place to go and looking for him. there was no other option you had left at this point, it was either you or him that was going to end up dead tonight.

eventually you’d caught up to him in the woods, finding him at a nearby tree, as if he were waiting for you to come searching for him.

“i have to kill you..” you cut straight to the point, grabbing the swiss knife that was at the bottom of your ankle boot, pointing it towards him.

“not if i spill your pretty little guts all over this ground first,” jay laughs, barely moving an inch. still seeing this as all one big game to him, enjoying the thrill of it all.

“why’re you try to be the hero all of a sudden ? still feeling guilty you couldn’t save all those people who burned to death ? they were all a bunch of worthless scum anyway, if anything, i did them all a favor.” his head tilts as he asks so many questions, attempting to throw you off, knowing that it’d only agitate you further.

you backed away as he kept coming towards you, still pointing the sharp edge at him, “you’re wrong, jay. they all deserved to live yet you took it all away like the sick, inhumane fuck you are.”

“is that really what you think of me ? then why’d you let me take your precious virginity, hm ? can’t you see ? i’m the only person who actually ever gave a shit about you.” the smile on his face was so uncanny, as if it came straight out of a cartoon. he was nothing but pure evil, and he knew it.

you couldn’t bear to listen to him speak anymore, it was giving you a headache, you had to end this quickly. you remember while doing your paranormal digging, that a blade to the heart can kill any demon, now it’s all up to you to finish the job.

“i don’t care how long it takes, you’re going to die by the end of this night.” you stated matter-of-factly, you weren’t going down without a fight, and jay happily accepted your challenge with open arms.

he bursts out into more laughter, but it was anything but normal, it sounded maniacal, as if he were taunting you. “i’d love to see you try, sweetheart.”

he lunged forward to snatch the knife out of your hand, wrestling on the ground with him to try and get it back. you couldn’t let him win, not after all you’ve went through. all you had to do was plunge the weapon into his chest and you’d end this reign of terror once and for all. but once you obtained the knife, positioning it towards his chest, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“if you’re going to do it then just get it over with. just do it already.” he bitterly spoke, repeating his words over and over, egging you on in your already frenzied state. even if you wanted to, you couldn’t, it was like the minute you had your chance, every particle inside of you froze…

“shut up, shut up, shut up !” you couldn’t even think straight, just shaking your head nonstop while screaming at him to stop talking.

jay could’ve easily overpowered you by now, but it was almost as if he wanted you to do it, willingly ready to die by the hands of you.

“and to think i used to truly believe you were my other half…” you looked at him in disgust, unable to see him as the man who you once knew for practically your whole life. you felt as though you wasted so many of your precious years befriending the most evil, conniving person on the planet.

“silly girl... don’t you remember ? i bit you, so you'll eventually obtain my supernatural powers.” he reminds you of what happened not even an hour before, “our souls are connected now.”

you shook your head in protest, refusing to even entertain that idea, “no… i could never be like you, i’d rather die than be like you..”

jay didn’t seem to be bothered at all by your opposing comments or your lack of compliance. if anything, it only made him want you even more. sure, you may not be cooperating now, but he’ll soon condition you into believing that the only thing you’ll ever need is him.

he cracks a faint smile, “i’m afraid it’s already too late for that, my darling,” he spoke to you softly. not even realizing he’s took the knife from your hands, bringing it down to your thighs, letting the blade run across your delicate skin.

“jay…” you say his name quietly, barely above a whisper. something inside you shifts the minute your gaze meets his, a warm, fuzzy feeling tickling a certain spot within your brain chemistry. you don’t know how to describe it, but your body feels different, so inexplicably different. as if it doesn’t even belong to you anymore.

“you know i’ve always loved you y/n,” jay sweetly coos into your ear, “i just have an awfully morbid way of showing it.”

his words flustered you to no end, feeling guilty for wanting to just give in, all the fight soon evaporating from your body. although you still had so much love for mark, your undying love for jay over the years trumped all of those emotions. the primal desire for him only grew once he’d connect his lips with yours. kissing you tenderly under the glowing moonlight. just you and him, along with the coppery taste of blood on each other’s lips.

you know why you couldn’t kill him. because if you did, you know there’d be no one else in this world who could ever understand you in the same way he does. the two of you shared an eternal bond that could never be erased nor replicated. if you were the kerosene, then he was the match, slow dancing in each other’s flames gracefully.

a made match in heaven ? no, more like a match made in hell.

[killherfreakout]

there is an alternate reality in which i have made an extensive fancam for pynch to the entirety of this song with footage from the tv adaptation but here we are

[yerions]

── jimin’s body. ( yjm ) 🔪

๑ A string of gruesome murders have been plaguing your small town with fear, there hasn’t been many leads on who this unnamed killer could be but never in a million years would you suspect that it was someone you were so close to…

pair/genre: popular!jimin ㅊ nerdy!f!reader, dead dove do not eat, college au, jennifer’s body au | warnings: horror, pwp, angst, smut, humor/dark jokes, set in the late 2000’s, jimin is your childhood best friend, yandere/succubus!jimin, mentions of depression/anxiety, childhood trauma, graphic descriptions of death and violence, gore, cheating, manipulation tactics, dub-con, virginity loss, d/s dynamics, g!p jimin, piv, fingering, oral, rough s.x, biting, slight knife play, unprotected s.x, breeding kink | words: 18.4k+

you can also read the jay ver of this fic here

**please heed ALL warnings before reading, i am not responsible for the content you consume !!

[ song inspo: mascara, do you believe, & cherry waves by deftones ]

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“you should come.” jimin’s figure hovered over your desk, her face so unbearably close to yours that one wrong move could lead to both of your lips accidentally colliding. “please y/n? it’ll be fun, i promise !” her former pout returns to guilt trip you even further.

you stood your ground and shook your head, leaning back into the chair for more breathing room. this wasn’t something out of the ordinary for her, jimin constantly invaded your personal space, never believing in boundaries when it came to you— and she’d get even more obnoxious by persistently asking to hang outside of classes.

“jiminie, i already told you before that i have homework to do..” you remind her yet again for the umpteenth thousand time, as if she didn’t already know that, not bothering to put much thought into considering her dumb little offer.

for the past hour or so she’s been bugging you about going to some dive bar downtown with her. it seems a lot of people were attending since a locally known indie boy band, ‘lucid dream’, is going to be performing there tonight. jimin would always rave about their music once she discovered them on myspace, growing quite the infatuation with the lead singer in particular. you really weren’t all that interested in going, you weren’t even a fan, plus you had way more important things to worry about. and besides, concerts weren’t your thing anyway, you’ve always hated large crowds— gives you an inducing amount of anxiety.

“ugh, why’re you so lamee, it’s like you’re allergic to fun..” she whines, dragging out her words which only made her sound even more immature. she’d never miss a beat to poke fun at you for being such a goody two shoes. “we’re not getting any younger y/n, keep going at this rate and you’re bound to end up an old, shriveled up cat lady who’s gonna die a miserable virgin !”

her snarky comments about your dry sex life didn’t phase you as much as they used to, but after a while you do get sick of hearing them all the time. to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you and jimin were still such close friends, maybe it’s because of the deep rooted history you two share, dating all the way back to when you were in kindergarten; or simply could be the fact that no matter what, jimin refused to never leave your side— ever.

you’ve had one too many disagreements and blown out of proportion arguments with her over the years, yet she’s never held any of those things against you, it’s practically a clean slate the next day. you’ll never understand why she’s so adamant on keeping this friendship alive when you’re just so vastly different from each other. she’s athletic, outgoing, extremely popular amongst her peers— and especially with men, of course.

jimin will never admit it out loud, but she’s always enjoyed being the center of attention, not to mention she was blessed with a well above average face that she used to her advantage quite a bit. she’d often came off as overly arrogant and crude to most people, she honestly had no filter when it came to voicing her own opinions; but that was the allure of her, made her charm even more magnetic to the dozens of guys (and girls) who’d fawn over her on a daily basis. she acted as though all eyes weren’t on her, yet she secretly relished it. if she wasn’t stroking her own ego, best believe there’d be someone who would.

you glare at her, wishing she’d just shut up already and go bother someone else for a change, but you know that’ll never happen in this lifetime. “i’m actually in a very loving and committed relationship.. so i rebuke that statement, thank you very much !” you quickly fire back, gathering your textbooks and other supplies, shoving them into the compartments of your black messenger bag.

“soo, i’m guessing anton’s dick isn’t really all that satisfying enough for you ? ‘cause you still act hella bitchy all the time… must not be that good,” jimin couldn’t help but giggle to herself, deciding to further agitate you. “oh, who am i kidding.. you probably haven’t even let that bastard kiss you yet.”

if you weren’t so mentally drained from the 6 hours you’ve just endured of back to back classes, you’d be beating her ass to a pulp right here and now. “we’re taking things slow !” you defend yourself once more, lifting from the chair as you’re about to head out the door, to which jimin follows behind to continue on her rampant taunting spree.

“it’s been 6 months y/n, how much more ‘slow’ can you take it ?” a group of guys wave at her as you walked through the corridor, but she ignores it and keeps walking like the pretentious snob she is. “bet the dude gets blue balls everytime he sees you.”

you stopped dead in your tracks for a second, turning around to face her only to be met with a smug grin settled on her glossy lips. the fact she gets such a kick out of constantly teasing you made it all the more aggravating, but eventually you caved in, as per usual.

“ugh, fine.. what time is it ?” you inquire, watching how she instantly lit up at your question. you knew she would’ve been moping and complaining for the rest of the day if you didn’t go with her. anything to get her to finally shut up..

“it starts at 9 but i’ll pick you up at 8:30 !” jimin caged her arm around your waist, pulling you into a half hug. “oh, and make sure to wear something good.” she quickly adds.

“um.. i always wear good clothes ??” a scoff leaves your lips, slightly offended by her critique of your clothing choices.

“really ?” she spoke sarcastically, eyeing the oversized crewneck sweatshirt you wore with cats printed all over, “this isn’t middle school anymore, it wouldn’t kill you to show a little bit of cleavage once in a while.”

you flat out ignore her comments. not even wanting to entertain her bullshit anymore, if anything it would only lead to a petty argument that’ll sour your mood for the whole day. you’ve learned the hard way that sometimes— well most of the time, letting jimin say whatever she wants was the best option, which is why she always gets away with it. she’s always been the more domineering one of the friendship, whilst you just sat back on the sidelines and let her menacing behavior go unchecked. you hated that you were such a pushover when it came to her but you’d rather just let it go than have a full blown argument that could potentially lead to her having an irrational outburst.

“i gotta go find anton, i’ll see ya later.” your mind shifts back to thinking about your boyfriend who was most likely waiting for you out in the courtyard.

“ew, whatever bye.” a look of faux disgust bestowed on jimin’s features, there was no inherent issue she had with anton— just didn’t really like the guy. she felt as though she was slowly being replaced by him, which is why she latched onto you even more than ever.

once you said your final goodbyes and parted ways, you head down a long flight of stairs to go search for your boyfriend. eventually catching him off in the distance as he’s sat on a bench outside, immediately going up to hug him.

“hey babe,” anton happily greets as you embraced him, embedding a kiss to your cheek, “missed you.”

“hey, sorry i showed up kinda late.. got a little sidetracked on my way to you,” you make up a quick lie as you don’t wanna fully admit that jimin was the reason for your semi-tardiness.

“got any plans tonight pretty lady ?” he asks with his arm looped around your shoulder as you sat beside him, he was hoping to spend more time with you since you’ve been so cooped up in the library studying for upcoming exams.

“well… yeah, kinda. i’m going to this concert thingy with jimin tonight.” there you go, not even a minute in of seeing your boyfriend you’re already bringing her up. it’s always jimin, jimin, jimin— this was really beginning to irritate him.

“oh..” he sighs, visibly tensing up every time he hears that dreaded name slip from your mouth. he knew this was how it usually went down, whenever he asks to spend time with you somehow jimin would always beat him to it. anton truly felt like your so called ‘best friend’ was the main perpetrator of sabotaging this relationship.

“we can still hang out for a bit before that !” you suggest, attempting to try and lighten the atmosphere, but anton still wasn’t too thrilled to hear that you were going to be with jimin for the whole night instead of him.

you know that anton never really liked jimin, and jimin also never really liked anton either. it was an odd, unspoken tension between the two but you couldn’t quite seem to put your finger on how or why it all started. anton was more adjacent to your personality, you’re both bookworms, lovers of all things pertaining to math and science, and you lived in the same honor’s apartment complex, which only housed the smartest students of the whole university. jimin however… she was a spitting image of everything you strived not to be. rebellious, put very minimal if at all any effort into her studies, was borderline narcissistic, and easily irritable around others. it was like a ticking time bomb with her, you never knew exactly when she’d go off.

“yeah only for like two hours..” anton sulked in discontent, sinking lower into the seat. “you always do whatever jimin tells you to do, it’s like you don’t have a mind of your own sometimes.. feels like you enjoy being with her more than me..”

“that’s not true !” you fire back, “she’s my best friend.. that’s it. you know you mean the world to me,” you anxiously express, fidgeting with the silver, heart-shaped friendship necklace that you and jimin both had since elementary school. “my roommate should be gone, i have the whole place to myself, come !” quickly, you grab his hand to lead the way back to your place.

“agh.. okay, better be lucky that you’re cute..” anton jokingly adds, letting you pull him away to the next destination.

๑ ๑ ๑

“so.. which one is she stalking online again ?” anton asks out of curiosity, comfortably sat on top of your bed, referring to jimin’s new obsession with this boy band.

“the lead singer of this band, she said he’s like ‘100% her type’ or something, i dunno.” you said nonchalantly, skimming through your wardrobe in hopes of finding an outfit that jimin would approve of, you couldn’t dress too revealing as it would only attract unwanted attention from random creeps, but you also didn’t want to present as too “modest” as you’ll only get teased even more than you already were by your best friend.

“huh.. interesting..” he slightly nods, reaching over to play with one of your stuffed bears that you’ve had since childhood. “i still don’t get why she couldn’t just go with someone else or by herself. she doesn’t need you there..”

you don’t answer, instead you were too preoccupied with trying on various tops, unsatisfied with most until you find a dark purple top that was a bit more form fitting. it showed your midriff just a little bit but it wasn’t too much that it would deem as “slutty”, at least in your humble book of opinions. checking yourself out in the vanity mirror to see how you look, you paired the top with some light wash flared jeans that you bought recently while out at the mall with jimin.

you weren’t too keen on buying them at first but she’d convinced you to get them anyway. standing in front of your reflection, you barely recognized yourself. you don’t normally wear these types of styles but according to jimin, you have to wear ‘good clothes’ so you kind of felt obligated to. finishing off the look, you took off your glasses, replacing them with contacts that you rarely wore, you’ve always hated that you struggled to put them in but it wasn’t so bad this time around.

“um, do you really have to wear such low rise jeans..? i can see your womb for pete’s sake !” anton sounded reminiscent of an overbearing dad the way he voiced his concerns, it was safe to say that he was definitely not a fan of this new look you were going for.

you playfully brushed him off, “quit being so dramatic, you’re just not used to seeing me like this is all !” you giggle at his overprotective nature, suddenly hearing a loud knock at your door from downstairs, “oh- that must be jimin !”

you hummed a soft tune as you make your way down the stairs, swinging the door open to your best friend who’s smiling ear to ear, throwing your arms around her shoulders to embrace her in a hug.

“i see you actually took my advice,” jimin says proudly, staring down your whole body as she examines your outfit, “are we good to go ?” she asks, looking effortlessly stunning in a denim mini skirt and a cropped tee that she bought from hot topic.

“yup, i think so !” you nod in content, quickly grabbing your high-top converse that laid on the floor, they were a little beat up and had doodles all over them all because jimin got bored one day and decided to scribble on the shoes without your knowledge. it added more character to them you suppose…

“i’d really appreciate if you stopped kidnapping my girlfriend all the time.” anton grumbles in annoyance, heading downstairs to kiss you goodbye. he possessively grabs ahold of your waist to show jimin that she wasn’t the only one in your life that you adored— he hated that this has now become an unfriendly competition of who could gain your attention more.

jimin scoffs, paying him little to no mind. “it isn’t kidnapping if she’s willingly going on her own accord, right ?” she shoots back in her usual condescending tone, anton was getting more agitated by the second, if this were an animation, steam would’ve definitely been blowing out of his ears right now.

“listen, i’ve had it with yo—”

“ok knock it off you two, enough !” you cut your boyfriend off before he could go any further, “you guys really need to stop, seriously..”

jimin’s demeanor softens the minute she hears your voice, as if you’ve snapped her out of a trance, “he’s just jelly ‘cause he’s not invited, let’s go.” she links arms with yours whilst heading out the door, faintly hearing the jingle of her car keys clashing together as she swung them around with her free hand.

a part of you feels like you’ve created this whole mess between them, you’ve noticed this mini rivalry ever since you began dating anton. jimin has never been one to give newcomers the warmest of welcomes, she’s constantly had this protective and territorial nature towards you, was just how she is. though sometimes, she’d take things a step too far. whenever she feels like you’re slowly drifting apart from her, she does everything in her power to drive a wedge between you and the other existing person. you and jimin have always been a tight knit duo— a packaged deal if you will; and she isn’t too fond of other’s being added into the mix, she’d try convincing you that all you needed was each other— no one else ever mattered.

that was until you met your boyfriend anton of course, jimin rarely ever conversed with him nor was she ever all that kind to him, but you managed to still work things out regardless of your best friend’s disapproval. in more blunt terms, you don’t think jimin would’ve approved of anyone you date, she was harder to please than your own parents and that in itself spoke volumes… on the contrary, you wouldn’t have much of an issue if jimin were to magically show up with a boyfriend/girlfriend one day, but within these past two decades of knowing her you’ve never seen her date a single soul, she could literally have anyone she wanted, hell, they were practically lining up to even be near her. yet she didn’t bother giving one of them the time of day, she preferred her own solitude; except when she’s around you, that is.

๑ ๑ ๑

you had no idea what to anticipate when arriving to this place, but soon as you and jimin walked into the establishment, you were invited with a completely different atmosphere than you expected. the way jimin kept talking about this place you’d assume it’d be more of a nightclub ambiance but it was more or less like your average, run-of-the-mill bar where everyone went to watch the sports game on the weekend. sure there were a lot of people here but it just wasn’t the overall kind of vibe you mesh with. from it’s dingy, beer stained walls, to the generic pop music that blared through the speakers, there was a pool table in the corner occupied by a bunch of sorority girls you recognized from school. your eyes landed on your past crush minjeong, who you never confessed to but still silently admired from afar to this day. you thought she was way out of your league, plus she was already dating someone else which made you harbor those secrets even deeper.

you sat at an empty booth, flipping open your phone to text anton who’s been asking nonstop if everything’s okay, though you’ve told him multiple times not to worry. there were a few guys who tried talking to jimin but she seemed quite unamused by them, her mission was to talk to this band that she’s been fangirling over, you’ve never seen her this excited over anything.

“come with me,” jimin suddenly pulls you out of your seat, making you go towards the front of the stage with her. she was smiling like an idiot, walking up to them confidently as she always did. there were a total of 5 men, all dressed in various types of leather and spikes, black filled their waterlines to look more edgy, their teased hair stayed in place with the shit ton of hairspray they used— pretty much your stereotypical rock band aesthetic. whether it was intentional or not, you didn’t know, but they definitely didn’t seem like the approachable type.

jimin makes the first move, introducing herself along with your presence. “hi, i’m jimin and this is my best friend y/n, i’m a huge fan of you guys ! i’m surprised you came out all the way here, aren’t you from the city ?” she sounded like such a groupie, you never took her as someone to kiss up to others, but there’s a first time for everything you suppose.

a man with fluorescent pink hair spoke, you assumed it was the lead singer of the band since he held a microphone in his hand, “nice to meet you, i’m skyler, but you can call me sky. yeah.. we’re a bit far out but we like to connect with fans all over, gotta start somewhere y’know?” jimin nods, looking at him as if he held the key to a world she’s never seen before.

“can i buy you a drink ? the options are pretty slim but there’s these red and blue drinks that i think are kinda good. gotta drink ‘em fast though or else they turn this weird brownish color…” jimin asks, hoping to give off the impression that she’s older than she actually is.

“sure, thanks.” he replied, winking at her as he prepares to set up for the performance.

“great, i’ll be back right !” she turns around in a flash, tagging you along with her for the journey.

“uh, jimin we aren’t over 21 yet..” you remind her, confused as how she was going to even pull this off, but she shuts down your doubtful attitude.

“i think you underestimate just how easily i can get anyone to do anything for me y/n.” she makes her way over to the bar with a confident stride, not even sweating the fact she may or may not be denied.

as jimin was busy getting the drinks you overheard the lead singer, skyler aka sky, talking to the bassist, you couldn’t help but get closer to eavesdrop on their conversation once you heard your best friend’s name being dropped mid convo.

“yeah that jimin girl’s definitely a virgin, she talks big game but i bet she wouldn’t even let anyone touch her..” he chuckles to his bandmates. your brows furrowed in slight confusion and anger, not only was she being overly friendly with them but they were taking her kindness as a sign of weakness.

“hey that’s my friend you’re talking about, asshole !” you intervened, quickly coming to her defense, “whether she is one or not, it’s none of your damn business and she’s sure as hell not going to sleep with some douchebags like you.” you couldn’t believe half those words even came out of your mouth, but when it came to jimin, you weren’t just going to sit back and let them talk about her like that.

“what’s going on ?” jimin interrupts, coming back with the drinks as she noticed a sudden shift in your behavior.

“they were just talking about you !” you point over to those shady men, still fuming with rage, “they said you were a virgin !”

“oh.. i mean does losing my anal virginity in the locker rooms count ??” she jokes, snickering to herself when she remembers that moment.

you face palm, “that’s not the point, jimin !” you were genuinely getting upset, why would it even matter if she was one or not ? why were they so hung up on knowing that to begin with ? were they planning on doing something to her ?

before you could say anything else or speculate any further, the lights suddenly dimmed, and the band introduces themselves to the crowd that was formed around you. sky went on a whole spiel about how they’re so grateful to be here and saying how they hope to bring more fans with this performance, they were promoting their new single, ‘dying roses’ which you thought was a pretty corny and cliché title but nonetheless you were only here in support of your friend.

as the band started playing their first song, everyone began head banging to the music, including jimin who was more than excited to be here. maybe it was because of the previous encounter you just had with them, but the music wasn’t necessarily hitting for you. it wasn’t the genre per se, you enjoyed bands such as hole, nirvana, and metallica, but they just seemed like complete rip offs of those said bands. it seemed like you were the only one who thought this way considering everyone else was vibing around you— especially jimin who was singing along to every lyric word for word. you seriously couldn’t wait for this night to be over with..

not even ten minutes later, you heard a blood curdling scream off in the distance. your body stilled with uncertainty, wondering what could’ve possibly triggered such harrowing emotions, yet that was soon dissolved once you saw the burst of flames invading your vision. a rush of panic kicks in as you finally register what exactly was going on and the only thing on your mind was to get the hell out of here. everyone else had the same idea as you, bodies scrambling left and right, hurriedly trying to find an entry to freedom. you checked to see if jimin was following behind you still but she wasn’t, she was gone. and so was the band.

you shouted her name as loud as you could, eyes becoming bleary whilst trying to find the nearest exit, pushing all the other attendees out of the way as the only thing you cared about in this moment was getting to safety and finding jimin. you remembered that the bathrooms had a small window so you made a mad dash to the stalls, praying to god that you’d be able to fit through.

surprisingly there was no one else there, grabbing a step stool from the corner to help you climb up and ease your way out. profusely coughing from the smoke that lingered underneath the door, you use all your strength to pry the window open, body running solely off adrenaline. relief washes over you when you’re able to successfully get it to crack just enough to squeeze your body through, gasping for oxygen once you’re finally met with the outside world again.

you looked back and see that the entire bar is now ablaze– with people still inside. you watched as parts of the building collapsed, crumbling to the ground as more people were coming out. you’ve never witnessed anything more horrifying, hearing the cries of others shouting for help as they were locked in with no way out. some were so badly burned that they looked unrecognizable, their scorched skin bubbling from the third degree burns. you couldn’t bear to see such chaos but you couldn’t look away. this sight was going to be engrained into your memory for the rest of your life..

anxiety struck through you when you realize jimin was still nowhere to be seen, you still had your cellphone in your pocket which you debated on calling 911, but you assumed they’d already be on the way with paramedics. you were surprised to have even made it out alive, but you hoped to god that jimin was also able to escape the inferno. when an arm reaches out to suddenly grab your wrist, your first reaction was to scream loudly. still suffering from the shock of what you just experienced.

“chill the fuck out, it’s just me y/n!” you instantly recognized jimin’s voice, turning around to face her. you couldn’t believe it was really her, completely unscathed just like you. you immediately wrap your arms around her, holding her tighter than ever before. you’d be able to rest easy now knowing that you two were perfectly okay.

“i was looking for you, had me worried sick !” your eyes brimmed with tears again, but it was more so tears of happiness. you wouldn’t know what you’d do if you didn’t have your best friend with you anymore.

“i’m sorry… we should’ve stuck together. i didn’t mean to abandon you..” she didn’t sound like her usual self, this time she was more frantic, just as much in shock as you were.

“oh thank god you two are alright !” sky, the singer of that shitty band runs up to the both of you, “you guy’s should come back to my van, it’s safer there.” he proposes, helping you back up on your feet as you were too weak to do so on your own.

you shook your head at that idea. “no way, i’m getting out of here, come on jimin !” you grab her hand but she doesn’t follow along.

“actually, i think i’m gonna go with them..” she says, letting go of your hand to head towards the van with the other guys.

“are you crazy ?!” you couldn’t believe she’d choose them over you, even if she was a huge fan, it still didn’t make sense for her to leave with them rather than her own damn best friend. you felt betrayed.

“look i’m in survival mode just as much as you right now, we gotta get going before anything else happens !” sky rushes to the driver’s side whilst the others hopped in the back along with jimin, who seemed perfectly fine with getting in a vehicle with a group of strange men that she just met.

you’re steady calling after her but she doesn’t listen nor budge, simply watching as the van speeds off. knowing deep down in your gut that something awful was going to ensue…

๑ ๑ ๑

it’s been two painstakingly long hours and still no call or text from jimin. the worry was only building up inside you. what if something bad really did happen ? what if she needed your help and you left her all alone to fend for herself ? the guilt was slowly starting to eat you up, consuming your already troubled mind. but then again, you thought you may be overthinking as you usually do. she was probably having the time of her life, probably even went to some after party with them. the betrayal of her leaving you still lingered in your thoughts. how could she have done this to you ? maybe she really was this self-centered, conniving woman that anton always painted her out to be. but maybe you were just as bad for letting her leave like that. you should’ve been more assertive, now you won’t be getting any sleep tonight until you know for sure that jimin will be fine.

you decide to call anton, needing to get all of this off your chest before you drove yourself anymore mentally insane than you already are. he picked up on the last ring, assuming that he was most likely asleep by now.

“hello ?” the sound of his sleepy voice gave you a sense of comfort, which is exactly what you needed at this time.

“hey..” you spoke softly, unsure of what to even say right now. you didn’t want to say anything straight away, you had to lean in towards that kind of conversation first.

“how was the concert ?” he asks, yawning as he kept talking.

you paused for a second, knowing that you’ll worry him the minute you finally express what happened hours ago. “there was a fire...”

“what ?!” there was absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared him for that, now he’s the one in full-blown panic mode.

“yeah..” was all you said in return, still trying to wrap your head around everything. the mental image of all those people still trapped inside, unknowing of their indefinite fate will forever stick with you.

“holy fuck.. you’re okay, right ?!” you could hear his body shifting under the sheets as he fully woke up from hearing this tragic news. he would’ve never been able to forgive himself had you not survived, he’d spend all of eternity blaming himself for it.

“yeah.. i’m fine. there was a stampede, you could hear their bones breaking and people running out the building as they were still on fire.. i don’t even wanna know how many didn’t make it out..” you felt sick to your stomach, you should’ve done more to help but all you thought about was saving yourself, how selfish…

“fuck.. i’m so sorry you had to see that y/n, i’m just really glad that you were able to get out of there…”

“jimin left with that band but i told her not to.. she hasn’t spoken to me since then and i’m really worried, we have to go save her !” you couldn’t shake this ominous feeling that something went horribly wrong, you had to trust your instincts on this one.

“who cares about jimin ! people died !” anton was baffled by how you were still only thinking about her when the main person you should be worrying about is yourself.

he then proceeded to go on an endless tirade about how horrible of a friend jimin is and that he knew he shouldn’t have let you go there with someone as untrustworthy as her. you just “okay” and “alright” your way out of everything he said, but you still had this deep inkling that you were right and you need to be there to rescue her. there was no real proof that she’d be in any danger, but something just seemed so off about that group as a whole..

that’s when you heard the sudden buzz of your doorbell, thinking it may just be your roommate who forgot her key, though it was quite late and you wouldn’t expect her to be coming back around at this time of night. you stilled in your bed, internally debating whether or not you should go down there to investigate; but you ultimately decide to do so anyway.

“shh, wait— ton, i think i hear someone at the door...” you tell him as you hesitantly get up, putting on your bunny slippers and slipping on a robe before slowly creaking the door open.

“who is it?” he asks, just as confused as you were.

“i-i don’t know.. that’s what i’m trying to find out..” you whisper, heading into the hallway, producing quiet footsteps as you held onto the railing that lead downstairs.

the air around you felt suffocating, only met with a grim silence whilst putting one foot in front of the other. each step you took became increasingly more cautious, you had no idea why you were such a nervous wreck or why you thought there’d be an imminent threat lurking your way, but the way your heart was thudding rapidly out of your chest made your flight or fight senses fly off the radar.

finally making it to the door, you suck in a bated breath, swallowing the thick lump that sat in the back of your throat. your hands shakily curled around the shiny knob but the minute you open it you’re left feeling even more uneasy as there wasn’t anything nor anyone at your doorstep. just pitch black darkness greeting you, along with the chilling sound of trees rustling through the wind. a heavy, lingering fog accompanied the atmosphere, sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine.

you were puzzled, feeling as though someone was playing a sick joke on you. you could’ve sworn you heard it, unless you really were going crazy after all. you knew that you were a little loose around the edges, but there’s no way that you could’ve made that up— it was far too realistic. soon as you were about to brush this whole thing off and chalk it up as just a freak accident, your ears detected faint shuffling, movement coming from a far distance. this time coming from inside the confines of your own home.

…what in the actual fuck is going on right now ?

“i just heard something from the kitchen..” you made sure to keep your voice low, mind and body riddled with the fear of the unknown as you clutched onto the phone harder than ever. you couldn’t see much of anything, but you followed whatever the hell was making all that commotion.

“don’t go near it ? what the fuck, that’s horror movie 101 knowledge. never go to the noise !” anton warns but you don’t take his advice, instead you slowly crept into the living room, remaining vigilant of every move you take.

the noise only grew louder and since you knew that your roommate wasn’t here, this only made your panic heighten, afraid that there may be a possible intruder. carefully stepping into the kitchen without making a sound, your hands scramble to find the switch, turning on the light to reveal the cause of your worry. the noise stopped the minute you were able to see again, and an instant sigh of relief leaves you once you notice it was just a leaky faucet, screwing the handle to shut it back in place. but that relief would soon deem itself short lived when you hear that same cacophony of sounds from earlier, again.

you spun around to see your fridge wide open, and someone actively rummaging through it. your body froze in place, simply unable to move no matter how hard you tried to relax your muscles. it was as if something were controlling you, telling you not to move an inch; like it was protecting you from whatever may be on the other side. scraps of food met the tiled floors, containers and cartons being tossed and thrown in a rampage. as the refrigerator finally came to a close, you were more than shocked to see that it was none other than jimin, who’s covered in dried blood from head to toe.

“anton.. i’ll call you back i gotta go..” you muttered quickly to your boyfriend, feeling the need to tend to your friend who’s clearly not in the best of conditions right now.

“what?! no, don’t hang up y/n, please don-” you hang up on him before he could even finish. you were slowly able to regain your strength again, tiptoeing towards the girl who hasn’t even bothered to look up at you yet.

she looked more than unwell, as if she had just survived the most brutal attack of her life. her actions resembled nothing of a human, watching as she mindlessly consumed whatever she could find in her wake. she came across a pack of raw chicken that you’ve yet to open, savagely tearing through it, devouring the meat with her bare hands. you weren’t sure how to react to any of this, but you knew that she was exhibiting anything but normal behavior.

“what are you doing ?!” you finally broke the quietness that filled the room, but you were met with no response in return.

upon hearing your startled voice, she stopped eating and averts her gaze to you. her eyes were soulless, no emotion throughout her whatsoever, looking at you as if she’s never seen you before. instead of getting up she crawls over to you, still refusing to utter a single word. your lips part to speak again but you notice a shift in her odd aura, she began coughing in the most grotesque way possible, as if she were trying to get something to leave out of her body. that’s when she starts to profusely vomit, everywhere. it wasn’t just any normal vomit though, it was a black, spiny fluid, spread all over the tiles and even spilling onto your clothes.

“jimin, what the hell’s wrong with you ?!” you yell at her but it was no use. she was never going to answer you, it was like she was possessed by some kind of spirit.

she finally got up on her feet, never breaking eye contact with you; her dark pupils pierced through you like the sharp edge of a butcher knife. jimin could smell the fear you emitted, it only made her want to gravitate towards you more. the only sane option that ran through your mind was to call the police, taking several steps backward from her presence, but of course she doesn’t let you do that. she only moves faster, pushing you up against the wall with superhuman aggression. she grabs ahold of your wrist tightly, forcing you to drop your phone, a loud thud produced as it made contact with the ground. she remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, flashing you an eerie smile, only a hairs breadth away from meeting your plush lips.

you whimpered in fear, but she keeps shushing you, petting the crown of your head like you were a crying, wounded animal in need. “are you scared?” she whispers into you ear, already knowing the answer to that. she only continues to taunt you, licking a long, slow paced stripe along the base of your neck, coating her saliva onto your soft, shivering skin.

she wouldn’t go any further than that, simply letting go of you and backing away as if she just now was able to acknowledge what she’s done. her breathing grew heavier, unable to even look at you, it felt as though she couldn’t control her own body anymore. before you could do anything, she swiftly heads out of the back door, leaving without a trace.

“jimin !” you try to call after her, but to no avail, you were left all alone, traumatized for the second time of the night.

you’ve went through the five stages of grief all in under a minute, unsure of what to even do in this moment. you’re standing here, confused, overwhelmed, and mortified— but now there’s black vomit all over your kitchen floor and on yourself. you weeped again, hopelessly trying to piece together the fragments of what the fuck just happened moments ago.

๑ ๑ ๑

the next day everyone’s talking about the fire at school. many were mourning the losses of their precious loved ones, sobbing uncontrollably from the horrific events that occurred from the night before. you sat in physics class with jimin, who acted as if nothing even happened last night, carrying on as she normally did. your professor mr. choi, took a moment to speak about what happened, mentioning the saddening news that took place not even 24 hours ago. what was even more odd was that jimin was smirking the entire time, attempting to hold in her laughter as she heard the professor speak, you roughly nudged her arm with your elbow in response to her apathy.

“this isn’t funny..” you scold her for acting so insensitively, “people died, jimin ! it’s all over the news, we even made it internationally…”

she rolls her eyes, “yeah, so? people die everyday y/n, they’re not special. i’ll give it a week max and i bet you no one will be talking about it anymore.”

how could she even say something like that ? especially knowing that she knew some of the people who passed away, your beloved peers who fought for their lives at the very last seconds of being alive. it was more than insensitive, it was just plain cruel.

“what’s wrong with you ?!” you looked at her as if she’s gone mad, which she quite literally has considering what took place at your apartment last night. you haven’t mentioned it to her yet but you were reluctant on doing so, she’d probably deny everything anyway.

“what’s wrong with you ?? god.. are you on your period or something ?” she wasn’t even remotely phased by anything you were saying, if anything, she saw it as one big mockery.

you scoff in response, mumbling something under your breath as you listen to the professor continue on with his speech. you always knew jimin was the type to never wear her emotions on her sleeve, but it really rubbed you the wrong way at how she didn’t seem to shed an ounce of care about any of the people who lost their lives so abruptly.

“stop talking to yourself, makes you look even more like a weirdo,” jimin quickly comments, she was irritating you the more she kept talking. if you weren’t in this classroom right now, you’d be cursing her out and giving her hell to pay— but you simply kept your mouth shut for the time being. there’s a time and place for certain things..

your melancholy only worsened as the day went by, feeling this heavy, cinder block weight of depression carried on your shoulders. the more you thought of it, the more shitty you felt. anyone would have survivor’s guilt after what you’d gone through, but it only multiplied as it fully settled in, you felt guilty for even doing something as minuscule as breathing. you truly believed that you didn’t deserve to survive, that it should’ve be you in place of someone else… why didn’t you help anyone ?

once class was dismissed, you hurried up out of your seat to go meet up with your boyfriend. jimin followed behind you like a lapdog of course, but you didn’t want to speak to her. you debated on confronting her about yesterday, though you decided not to as you weren’t even sure where to begin.. you’d like to think that this was all just some intense fever dream you had but you know it wasn’t.

you physically remember being there, in your kitchen, sobbing to yourself while cleaning up the mess that jimin left. you couldn’t go back to sleep after that, not after the way she looked at you like that. vividly picturing the devil’s carved grin plastered on her face, like she was going to rip your heart out of your body and eat you alive. if you’re being completely honest, you were more fearful of your own life in that moment than you were at the bar.

even if you did tell her what happened, there’s a slim chance she’d take any responsibility for her own actions. her pride would never let her. you remember when you were kids she’d always make you get into so much trouble with her, but the minute you two got caught she’d simply deny everything and pin it all on you. jimin was always able to manipulate her way out of just about anything— sociopaths are quite charismatic. you’d often joke with her that she was one, to which she’d never deny or confirm. deep down you’d hope that your own best friend wasn’t, but those old memories gave you all the same reminiscing feelings you felt years ago. or maybe, you were just as demented as she is.. birds of a feather flock together, right ?

๑ ๑ ๑

jimin would only become increasingly possessive as time went on. she’s always exhibited quite clingy behaviors but things only snowballed from the night at the bar and onwards. she’d constantly be blowing up your phone, texting you the weirdest, most cryptic shit at 4 in the morning; or if you didn’t respond fast enough for her liking, she’d call you over twenty times until you finally answered, not caring at all if you were with anton. she only made you feel more guilty if you expressed needing space, simply threatening to harm herself or make it seem as if it’d be your fault if something bad were to happen and you didn’t pick up the phone. you don’t know what’s gotten into her lately, but she surely hasn’t been acting like herself ever since she interacted with that band.

a month has flown by and you notice jimin was starting to look paler than a ghost, the dark circles under her eyes made it seem as though she hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months. she looked like death. as if her own flesh was eating her from the inside out. you thought maybe it could be due to stress of some kind, but it wasn’t humanly possible for her to change this drastically. she resembled nothing short of a sickly patient lying on their deathbed, awaiting the grim reaper to come knocking at their doorstep at any minute. she lost a lot of weight as well, turning into a weaker, much more frail version of herself. it truly pained you to see her in such a state, how sunken in her face was, gaunt like a skeleton. an unbearable sight indeed..

“you look like shit..” you tried to say it the nicest way possible but there was no other way to express your concerns, “you okay.. ?”

“gee thanks, and yeah, never been better actually.” jimin replied, her tone laced with the utmost sarcasm.

obviously you don’t take her word for it. you know there’s something deeper going on but you didn’t impose any further. you didn’t want her to get upset or agitated with anymore of your prying, so you let it go for now.

the distressing environment around campus only thickens when a brutal murder was reported a few weeks ago. the sight of a decomposing body was found in the middle of the woods, right behind the football field. one of the professors discovered it as they took a walk along the trail— later identified to be sungchan, the hot and most beloved captain of the football team. his organs were scattered all over the perimeters, painting the greenery with a bold, crimson hue. some parts of his corpse weren’t able to be located, as most of his disemboweled body was eaten by the hungry animals, feasting on his rotting flesh like they just scored a full course meal.

this only caused an uproar of mass hysteria throughout the school, leaving everyone to believe that there may be something even more sinister going on. a vigil was held for him just as there was for the other victims who died in the fire; friends, family, and other town folk gathered around in memory of him. a police investigation was launched shortly after, but there haven’t been many updates on the case so far as no foul play was detected. the authorities simply assumed it to be an animal attack— albeit one of the most gruesome and barbaric attacks they’ve ever seen in their careers.

when you spoke to jimin about it one night, you discussed all possible theories you’ve been brainstorming in your head. you believed it very well could’ve been an animal that did it, possibly a wild bear that just enjoys munching on humans for dinner— but she told you that was far from likely. however, you thought maybe she was only saying that just to instill more fear in you, which secretly worked.

you didn’t completely dismiss the possibility of it being some bloodthirsty animal.. he was torn limb from limb with absolutely no sign of weapons being used, so the likeliness of a regular person being able to do something of that caliber with their own bare hands made it almost slim to none. you truly thought his death was one of the saddest ways to go out.. you never spoke to sungchan a day in your life but he was pretty popular and fairly well liked amongst everyone, you’d never guess him of all people would end up with a fate like this.

as you trudged through the halls, you bumped into one of your classmates wonbin, who’s been asking nonstop if you could set him up with jimin. you’ve known for a while that he’s always had a thing for her and was hoping you could play cupid and be the middle man for him. you’d been putting it off for a while since you highly doubted that she’d reciprocate those same feelings, but being the good sport you are, you end up telling him that you’ll talk to jimin, although you couldn’t make any promises.

upon meeting up with jimin later on in the day, you proposed the idea to her, but of course, she declined almost straight away saying she wasn’t interested. she referred to him as that ‘weird, stoner goth dude who tries too hard’ and wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole. you definitely expected her to be adverse to your idea, but maybe not to this extent. you just wanted to see your friend happy but of course jimin always has to ruin it…

however, not even an hour later, she ends up agreeing to it, as if a switch had flipped in her brain. you thought it was a bit strange how she’d simply gone from one extreme to the next but you didn’t question it as you had no reason to. ultimately, you were just happy for wonbin, at least he’d get to spend some alone time with his crush.

you on the other hand, had a multitude of worries of your own. you and anton were supposed to go see the new twilight movie in theaters, just to get your mind off everything— yet what you felt most anxious about was what’ll occur afterwards. you were planning on losing your virginity tonight, feeling as though you were ready to take the next step with him. well, at least you thought so.. but now you weren’t even feeling sure of that anymore. a part of you felt pressured to just lose it already and since you were dating anton, you may as well do it, right ? if only it were that simple..

๑ ๑ ๑

your nerves were at an all time high as you laid beneath his bare form. inhaling, exhaling, and repeating those same steps over and over. your mind was racing a million miles per minute, staring up at the ceiling as you rethink all of your life decisions.

everything seemed fine at first, until it wasn’t..

you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it, but all you knew was that this felt strange.. something doesn’t feel right.. all you could do was lay there, utterly detached from reality.

numbness.. that’s all you felt..

you wanted to crawl into your own skin and die, you shouldn’t be so repulsed by your own boyfriend being on top of you— but that was the only emotion you bore.

everything felt so foreign to you, his touch, the way he caressed you, it didn’t feel right. you couldn’t shake this odd sensation, it was something you didn’t want for yourself. you wanted to puke, absolutely sick to your stomach.

he kissed your neck, but you don’t feel a thing. completely stoic and emotionless. all you’re thinking about right now is jimin. you had this inclination that something went terribly wrong and you needed an escape.

“i-i can’t do this.. i’m sorry..” you finally say out loud, quickly pushing him off of you before anything else could continue.

“did i do something wrong ?” anton asks, confused by your sudden coldness.

you simply don’t answer, scrambling to put on your clothes and leaving his house in a hurry to go and run to your car. you began driving in the direction of jimin’s dorm, not knowing whether she’d be there or not. the limited amount of streetlights made it even more difficult to see, but you spot a shadowy figure heading towards you on the main road.

in a rush of panic you slammed onto the brakes hard, trying not to run over whatever’s coming towards the vehicle, thinking it was probably a deer or something—but you see that it’s jimin, her clothes stained in blood just like night she was in your kitchen. you immediately got out of the car to go help her but she was no longer there anymore, as if she’s vanished into thin air.

confusion doesn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling.. reluctantly heading back home, hoping that it was all some vivid hallucination that you were having— but the minute you went upstairs into your room, you see jimin sitting on your bed, not a single drop of blood detected anywhere on her anymore.

“what are you doing here ?” you ask, blankly staring down at her over the rim of your glasses.

“just wanted to drop by and see my favorite girl.” she smiles crookedly, looking much healthier than she did when you saw her earlier, “what’s wrong with that, hm?”

“why’re you in my bed ? just go back to your dorm jimin.” you didn’t have time for her little games right now, you just wanted to shut the whole world out.

“but i wanna stay… plus we always used to sleep together when we had sleep overs.” she pouts, proceeding to get even more comfortable as she had no plans on leaving anytime soon.

“is that my grateful dead t-shirt?” you get a bit closer to examine, growing irritated that she went through your stuff without even asking.

she doesn’t respond, at least not in the way you think she would. instead, jimin harshly pressed her lips against yours. stretching the neckline of your shirt to pull all your weight on top of hers. she managed to have some self control at first, but that didn’t last too long as she savored the taste of you. hesitantly, you kissed her back, whimpering at the feel of her tongue prodding at your lips, begging for entry. your mouth slightly parts, giving her just enough leeway for her to devour you in the sloppiest, most depraved way possible. she kissed you hard, hard enough to knock the wind out of you. nothing but raw passion and burning desire throughout.

her lips moved in perfect harmony with yours, tangling your hands into her messy, raven locks. jimin would only grow more unhinged, never letting you gasp for air for more than half a second. she explored the depths of you, every nook and cranny, like she wanted you down to the marrow, swallowing you whole. she felt this primal urge in wanting to bite you, to sign your death with her teeth— but she resisted, at least not yet anyway.

when her hands came up to find your hips, her touch felt scorching hot against your skin… lifting your skirt up inch by inch. then the realization of what you’re doing finally hits, that you have a goddamn boyfriend and this isn’t something you should ever be doing with your best friend. quickly getting off of her, shouting in protest.

“jimin, what the fuck ?!” you were horrified, not even wanting to look at her anymore.

“language y/n !” she giggles at your filthy vocabulary, licking her lips to capture your taste once more, “don’t act like you weren’t enjoying it either.”

“but i’ll admit, the reason i’m here exactly is.. i have a confession to make..” she takes a dramatically long pause before continuing, “i haven’t been completely honest with you, and you’re the only one i can trust.”

you look at her strangely, unsure of what she fully meant by that, “what is it..”

“i’m dead.”

now you’re staring at her as if she just said the most absurd shit you ever heard, which quite literally it was.

“huh ? what do you mean you’re dead?”

“what do you not understand y/n, it’s pretty self explanatory.” she casually says if she were simply talking about the weather.

“i’m not sure i follow..” you didn’t get where she was heading with any of this, hoping that it’s just some joke with a bad punchline.

“it means i’m dead— as in not alive.” she repeats nonchalantly.

“jimin, shut up. you’re not funny.” crossing your arms in annoyance, growing more impatient with her by the second.

“it’s true, i swear !”

“you’re ridiculous..” you’ve had enough of her little shenanigans, ready to walk away from her but she grabs you at the last minute, forcibly bringing you back to meet her gaze.

“just listen, it’ll all make sense soon,” she pleads, flashing you a sweet, puppy eyed look that could make anyone fold almost instantly.

“‘kay.. fine whatever.” you heave a sigh, sitting back down on your bed, still a bit reluctant on hearing her out.

“there’s something inside me… an evil entity,” she explains further, “ever since that night at the bar my body feels.. different.” she proceeds to tell you this dumb story that you weren’t buying for a second.

“c’mon, you really expect to believe tha-”

she cuts you off, proceeding to go on a whole tangent, “remember that band i told you about ? they drove me out to the creek, dragged me out of the van and offered me as a virgin sacrifice in exchange for fame and fortune. they kept telling me how hard it was to make it as an indie band so this was the only option they had left.. all i can remember afterwards was how much pain i was in… they each took turns stabbing me to death, singing some creepy chant as they did it, then they lit me on fire.. but the problem is that i’m not a virgin, so when sky and his little gang murdered me the ritual backfired and a demonic spirit took over my body. i was able to escape the forest but i left feeling so hungry.. so on my way back home, i saw some guy on the opposite side of the pavement, he looked quite edible so i ate him. and that’s how i started eating human flesh.”

you had no words. your only reaction was to blink rapidly at everything she just told you. there’s no way she could be telling you the truth, stuff like that only happens in movies, pure fiction. “that’s the craziest fucking story you’ve ever made up in your entire life, yu jimin.”

she seemingly grows frustrated at the fact you aren’t taking her words seriously, but she kept on talking anyway. “i’m being serious y/n, you’ve gotta believe me ! they’re basically agents of satan, they simply used me as a pawn. i was their gateway to the lifestyle they so desperately wanted to achieve..”

“so what you’re saying is that you’ve been reincarnated as a demonic spirit that feeds off of human flesh ? that’s what you’re trying to get at ??” you ask, confirming her very weird, but oddly specific narrative.

jimin nods, “yes, that’s precisely what i’m trying to say.”

“so.. you’re telling me you’re the one who killed sungchan ?” you question outrightly, hoping at the very least she had nothing to do with it, but if what she is saying was true that could very well be a possibility.

she nods again, “yep. and wonbin.”

your blood ran cold the minute upon hearing that, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, “wait- what ?!”

“yeah, i only agreed to meet up with him just to eat him. so it’s practically your fault that he’s dead.” she shrugs, seeing it as if it was no big deal.

you couldn’t comprehend a single thing your ears were hearing right now.. your own classmate was dead and gone because of your best friend.

“you’re a fucking monster.. he had a whole life ahead of him. hopes and dreams just like the rest of us..”

“well, now he’s food for worms, sucks to suck,” jimin shrugs again, speaking so nonchalant about everything it made you want to scream at the top of your lungs.

disgusted didn’t even amount up to what you felt, sitting there in silence trying to process all of this.

“anyway, wanna see something cool?” she asks, not even bothering to await your response as you gave her the most questionable look of all mankind.

“i can withstand any injury without pain and i’m difficult to kill, see.” she takes one of your gel pens from your nightstand and stabs it straight into her own wrist, she was bleeding heavily at first but then the wounds start to close up within a few seconds, eventually fading away as if she didn’t just stab herself at all.

“see ! how cool is that ?? like some x-men type shit,” she says like a giddy school kid, bragging over her new abilities. “when i’m full, i’m practically invincible. i’m a fucking god.”

again, you were too stunned to speak. you genuinely thought you were losing your mind at this point, there’s no way any of this is real. it’s all a bad dream. you just need to pinch yourself and you’ll wake up, right ..?

“oh by the way, that night i snuck into your place, i was having all sorts of thoughts.. even thought about hurting you but i could never do that..” she finally admits to the night when she went into your kitchen, “i was just so hungry but nothing would satisfy my craving..” her eyes were a window to the truth, and by the looks of how empty they were, it was safe to assume you still had every right to frightened.

“jimin, i- i really think you should leave…” your whole body was practically shaking, you couldn’t bear to look but you were far more terrified of looking away— falling apart at the seams.

she doesn’t even budge a little upon hearing you, “oh c’monn y/n, let me stay the night; we can play boyfriend and girlfriend like we used to… good times am i right ?” she strokes your hand with hers, not even fully understanding the gravity of what she’s done or said this whole time.

“jimin you’re freaking me the fuck out !” you raise your voice louder, removing yourself away from her touch. how could you let a literal murderer touch you ?

“there’s no need for you to be. i already told you that i’m not gonna hurt you.. at least not in that way..” jimin clung onto you again, this time dragging you back down onto the bed as she forced herself on top of you.

you scrunch your eyes shut at the feel of her hands on you, idle fingers sneaking under the hem of your top. a surge of heat flushes down your thighs, blood rushing to your cheeks... and to your core. god, you were so embarrassed right now.

“w-what are you doing …?” you breathe out, opening your eyes once again, only to see her staring straight into your soul.

“don’t get all shy on me now.. we’re just havin’ a bit of fun,” she answers, “just messing around like the old days, right ?” she slid her index finger under the band of your skirt, pulling you closer, her lips only centimeters away from yours.

“jimin no, please-” you begin, but don’t have the time to finish your sentence.

“shh, it’s okay, i’ll take the lead. we can go slow… i promise i won’t bite. unless you want me to.” she darkly chuckles, tilting her head to the side, pressing a light kiss to your lips. surprisingly, you reciprocate it. she pulls her hand away from your skirt, enveloping it around your throat, not putting too much pressure around it just yet. “see, i knew you’d be into it, you’re my little freak, aren’t you ?”

you hated that you were getting aroused from this, the way she spoke to you in that husky tone. that same bubbling heat rushing to your core again.. you wanted to fight it, you truly did, but you couldn’t. your mind was telling you one thing but your body was reacting differently, as if you were under some spell that she casted.

you don’t know what to answer to that. is there even anything you can even say back to her ? you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. and besides, what’s the point of lying when she has you trapped between her body and your mattress, her fingers gripping your neck, her lips brushing over your face, would you really be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying this ? she practically knows you better than your own self at times, of course she’d be able to tell…

she kisses you again, but this time much hungrier, her tongue dominating yours easily. she nudges your legs open with her knee, her other hand swiftly diving under the hem of your skirt, groping your soft flesh in a lewd way that keeps you out of breath— apart from the fact that her tongue is currently exploring your mouth.

she grazes the bump of your pussy covered by your lace panties with her fingers, making your knees buckle at the unexpected contact. you wanted to close your legs shut, but when she slowly rubs the pad of her middle finger over your clit, a desperate whine escapes your throat, muffled by her mouth on yours. the moment only brief until she dips her hand into your underwear.

you try to make her stop by grabbing ahold of her wrist, pulling away from her lips to pathetically whisper a ‘p-please’ that only makes her giggle in response.

“mm.. already begging for me, sweetheart ?” she softly laughs, smirking at you. “excited by the idea of my fingers in your little cunt instead of your boyfriend’s ? hm ?”

you frown because that wasn’t the reason why you begged her, but now that she said this... your thoughts are going into a completely different direction. what the hell’s wrong with you ?

“you wanna know how it feels, baby? what it’s like to have your pussy stuffed by someone else’s fingers…” her dirty talk only continues, you couldn’t fathom this was really jimin speaking to you in such a vulgar manner like this. your best friend who’s about to take your virginity whether you wanted it to happen or not, she was going to make sure that anton could never have you in such a way, wanted to ruin it for everyone else like she always does.

she’s not waiting for a response as she starts stroking your bundle of nerves in slow circular motions, applying some pressure to really make you feel it. you let out another whine, this time of genuine pleasure.

jimin then shifts down to your entrance, circling it with a lot of delicacy, but this gentleness of hers doesn’t go on for too long as she pushes a finger into you without warning. you bit down on your bottom lip harshly— the size of her fingers in no comparison to yours. your eyes swelled with water, faint little cries escaping your mouth when she adds a second digit.

“i know, i know,” she whispers, “must be uncomfortable, hm?” you nod your head, confirming her words. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise. you’re probably only used to the feel of your tiny fingers, it’s normal…”

when she says this, you have a hard time believing her. how could it feel good when you weren’t at all prepared for this— when it’s not what you wanted..

she begins moving her fingers in and out of you, slow and long strokes at first, circling your clit with her thumb at the same time. she’d curls her fingers every so often, making a little hook shape, patting your sweet spot. the intrusion was uncomfortable, but it progressively gets so much more pleasurable as she thrusts into you at a regular pace.

tears continued to flow, falling down to your cheeks, lashes all wet and sticky, but they weren’t the result of your pain…

“god.. look at you. so pretty when you cry,” jimin murmurs beside your ear, butterflies swirling in your stomach when she tells you this.

she unwraps her hand from your throat to instead grab your thigh, placing your leg around her shoulder. you now feel her fingers way deeper inside of you, gently and deliciously stimulating your g spot. you dare to look down where her left hand is operating between your thighs, sliding in until she’s knuckles deep into your pussy. this makes you breathless, head rolling back onto your pillows, having never experienced anything like this before.

“o-oh my god-!” you exclaim when jimin’s ministrations bring you so close to your orgasm. your legs couldn’t stop twitching, your body warning you of your approaching high.

you’d probably be more aware of how hard she was if it weren’t trapped in her loosely fitting jeans, but you literally cannot focus on anything else other than jimin fingering you, hitting your sensitive spots each time she thrusts in.

“that’s it, baby,” she coaxes, moving faster. “you feel it ? huh?” she asks and you’re able to croak out a weak ‘yes’. “tell me how it feels.”

you hate her questions— you hate them so damn much. she knows how you feel, but she wants you to say it, she wants you to say that you enjoy it, and… your body really does.

“g-good.”

“yeah?” she breathes out, fucking your cunt with her fingers, enthralled by the little moans and whimpers you let out.

“yes,” you confirm, closing your eyes and slowly nodding your head. “fuck !” you curse out when you finally reach your high, nails digging into her forearm as you ride out your orgasm, your entire body violently shaking.

jimin helps you by slowly rubbing your puffy dewy clit in circles, telling you more dirty words in your ear, all while said in the sweetest tone, as if what she’s doing can be described as anything sweet.

“good girl,” she praises, “see, i told you it’d feel great.”

she still has her head in the crook of your neck, and you frown at the feeling of sharp teeth against your skin. it’s barely there, just brushing over it, as if hesitating to act… but jimin retrieves back, looking into your reddened eyes.

she could simply stop there, but she won’t— not until she fully got what she wanted, she needs more…

she pulls her hand out of your panties, fingers glistening with your arousal. “open wide for me, baby,” she instructs.

you glance at her hand, a little repulsed. you’ve never thought about tasting yourself and it’s surely nothing you’d have ever done… if not for her.

you then reluctantly open your mouth and she enters her wet fingers in.

“suck,” she adds on, expecting you to blindly follow all of her orders, and you do so without a second thought.

she stares down at you while you lick her fingers clean and she slides them a bit deeper, pushing down on your tongue. the taste of yourself isn’t what you thought it’d be… it doesn’t taste like much of anything, in fact.

she removes her fingers from your mouth only to put them in her own after. “just as sweet as you are,” she grins. “stand up for me, wan’ you to suck me off.”

your wobbly legs do their best at balancing themselves, slowly getting up only to be told to get back down on your knees. you sink down to the ground, leaning over to eye her stiff erection through her pants, slowly rubbing your hand over it as you palm her in your grasp. she hisses at the feel, already loving how you obediently take orders, how you’ve become nothing but a mindless slut for her.

you didn’t know the first thing you were doing but you did what felt natural, so you free her cock from the confines of her pants and underwear, watching as it sprung out and slapped against her stomach. jimin was huge. her veiny, pink dick standing tall in front of you, gulping as you debate on how you’re going to take all of her in your tiny mouth.

her length throbbed in your small hand, tip already leaking out a pearly bead of precum, dribbling onto your fingers. you slowly press your mouth against the tip, keeping it there for a bit to get a little taste of her and to get used to the feel. then you swirled your tongue lightly around it, loving the salty tanginess of her precum against your tongue.

“fuck… feel so good around me already,” she bit her lip harshly, gripping the sheets as she groans with pleasure.

you wrap your mouth tighter around her length as you begin to slide your head down. bobbing it back and forth, keeping a tight suction on her cock, making sure not to use any teeth. you feel jimin’s hips jolt up from the feel as you drew more saliva from your mouth, making a mess all over yourself.

she let out a low moan when her length hits the back of your throat, accidentally gagging at how much you took. you couldn’t take all of her in your mouth completely, but you did the best with what you could, bobbing your head as your hand stroked the rest. the way you looked while taking her made her want to combust at the very sight, nothing could compare to having your mouth around her.

“atta girl, keep going— just like that baby— ahh….” she keeps encouraging you, giving you small praises here and there. she does her best not to keep her eyes off you but she wanted to shut her eyes from how good you were making her feel, you were such a natural at this. as you continued stroking her cock with your pretty, talented mouth, she elicits more moans and it only makes you want to make her cum faster.

jimin bit her lip even harder, trying so hard not to close her eyes, taking in shallow breaths. she could feel herself getting closer and her whole body tenses up like she’s got a volcano erupting inside her.

“shit— think ‘m gonna come… damn baby…”

you couldn’t say anything since her cock was buried deep down your throat. the only thing on your mind right now was getting her to finish inside your mouth. you lightly hum as you pick up your pace, she matches your movements with her hips, fucking your mouth aggressively. there was saliva everywhere, your face was flushed and you seriously looked such a mess. a beautiful mess, all for yu jimin.

you feel her thickness throbbing in your mouth and a warm sensation hits the back of your throat. white ropes of her cum releases into you and you swallow it immediately, to which you earn yourself a “good girl” as you look up at her, drinking up all her cum. surprisingly, she tasted really good, emptying every last drop of her, once you finally pulled away she orders for you to get back on the bed and to bend over for her. you only hesitated for a second, looking at her credulously before doing what she asked of you, trembling legs meeting with the soft sheets again.

“are you…?” you say under your breath, peering over your shoulder to see jimin stroking herself, looking at your glistening pussy that’s spread on perfect display for her.

“gonna put my cock inside you ?” she finishes your question for you. “yeah, i am.”

you stop breathing at her answer, sensing her deft fingers touching your thighs and hips, going under your skirt to drag your panties down. she gives a couple more pumps before aligning herself with your dripping wet entrance. her free hand keeping your skirt crumpled up over your ass, laying the other one on your hip.

“careful, sweetheart,” she says softly beside your ear, “this might sting a little bit more than two fingers.” she swipes the head of her cock through your sticky folds and all you can do is moan pathetically at the feeling, lewd, wet noises echoing throughout the room.

you can’t see her length even with the way you contort your head to look over your shoulder, but you’re still able to see her chest and hips moving as she pushes her cock into your pussy. the burning sensation of your cunt getting stretched out was enough to make you see stars, and she was right. this hurts way more than her fingers, the two feelings were not comparable at all.

“jimin-,” you cry out, holding onto the sheets below you for dear life until there’s no more blood circulating in your knuckles.

she hears you, loving the sounds you’re making because of her and the way you say her name with eyes full of tears. when she bottoms out inside of you, her pelvis flushed against your ass, she lets out a low grunt and throws her head back, closing her eyes to savour the pleasure entirely.

you bit onto your lip, compressing a moan that dared to slip from your mouth again. she deliberately pounded into you, like she wanted everyone near to know just how badly she was ruining you, wanting you to beg and cry out for mercy, like she wanted every bone in your body to bend and break.

you involuntarily clench around her, making her tighten her grip on your hip. she thrusts herself deeper into you, her cock sliding in and out of your pussy at an agonizingly harsh pace. each time she bottoms out, jimin makes sure the skin of her thighs slap against your ass, the sounds almost as loud as your little moans and whimpers.

your wetness allows her to fuck her cock into your pussy back and forth, welcoming her so perfectly without any restriction. it’s almost impossible for her to not hit your sweet spot, and she reaches so much deeper when she lifts up your thigh with the hand that was previously placed on your hip.

you don’t know how long you can stay in this position for, especially when jimin’s drilling her hard cock into you like nothing else matters. it’s like she needs it from you, and as the pleasure only builds up in you, you start thinking you need it desperately, too.

you’re breathing heavily, and so is she, feeling her hot breath fanning against your neck when she tilts her head down closer to yours. you can clearly hear her breathing now as well as her deep grunts that leave her mouth every time your gummy walls close tightly around her, literally sucking her right in.

“shit,” she curses out as she pushes lightly on your back, deepening the arch of it so your ass is flushed against her pelvis.

she kisses your neck pretty messily, but it only raises the temperature of your body, your skin boiling hot under her soft lips. she leaves a wet trail behind, going up to your ear, down to your shoulder. telling her to stop isn’t even possible anymore, it wouldn’t make any sense… would be absolutely stupid when you’re so close to your second orgasm. you shouldn’t be enjoying any of this but it’s honestly arousing you so much.. jimin lets go of your thigh to take a hold of your jaw, turning it around so she can look at your face.

your mouth gaped to let out big puffs of air, and it’s the same for her, her breathing being irregular and heavy. she didn’t think she would ever need something that badly, which is making you hers, surprisingly enough. making you hers in whatever way possible; whether it’s by fucking you to death or eating you— or both. jimin doesn’t care, she just wants it. it doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to pass through you, arms and legs shaking as the knot at the pit of your stomach snaps. jimin feels it very clearly, your walls hugging her cock terribly tightly, bringing her closer to her own orgasm as well.

“please.. jimin, so good..”

“gonna come in this tight little virgin pussy.” she captured your waist pulling you closer into her. “wanna put a baby in you, bet you’d like that, huh ?”

“holy fuck,” she hisses, her hip thrusts accelerating, literally burying her cock in your cunt until strings of white paints your insides. “oh, god…”

she stays in this position for a couple of seconds, catching her breath. she then slightly backs away, making sure to keep your skirt crumpled up over your butt, looking at the mess she made of you.

but she wasn’t done just yet, she wanted you to be completely, utterly, and thoroughly ruined by all parts of her. her fingers, her cock, and now her tongue.

“just need another taste..” jimin couldn’t get enough of you, practically blinded by lust, all she wants is to have you, only you, no one else was more perfect than you.

she bends down, toying with your clit and licking your opening until you turned into a yelping mess underneath her tongue, tugging onto the sheets, pillows, whatever you could grasp, feeling like you were about to die. she had a strong grip on your thighs, kept you in place while you came on her tongue like you were made for it, so pretty and ashamed that she’s lost all self-restraint, if ever had any to begin with.

she continued to lap at your cunt, kissing and sucking at your clit, moaning into your heat. hands caressing your thighs, fingernails piercing, spreading you open wider for her. you grind against her face and jimin couldn’t help but moan at the way you were so enthralled by the feel. her tongue never letting up against your clit, following your cunt with every movement you make, not letting you catch a break from the feeling of her against you.

her mouth domes around your clit, sucking you right in, teeth lightly grazing against your bud, momentarily making your back arch. mid arch, jimin slips two fingers into you. the slight sting makes you hiss as she stretches you out again, long digits buried to the knuckles inside of you upon initial thrust. she soon plants open mouthed kisses against your cunt, fingers working their way in and out of you at an obnoxious pace, curling naturally.

the combination of jimin’s tongue and fingers, along with her lips planting kisses against your cunt in between sloppy licks, is all too overwhelming. you couldn’t stop clenching around her fingers, pulling them in to beg for more, to which she gladly gives. fingers fucking into you faster, much deeper than ever before. the feeling of your impeding orgasm has you shaking, practically vibrating, unable to brace yourself for it.

tears pooling down the side of your face as you moan out for her. the tips of her fingers repeatedly hit the soft, gushy spot deep inside of you, biting her lip as she watches you come undone for her all over again. her thumb massaged your clit, slowly but surely dragging you further off the edge. you felt yourself relax into her touch, into the feeling of lust and desire fully engulfing your soul. that’s when it takes over… your vision blurs, almost going black, mouth agape as you let out broken moans. it’s all too much for you to handle, but you never want it to end..

your chest is getting hot and heavy, tightening as you cum, releasing all stress and tension, absolutely melting into this state that makes you feel like you’re floating. your body was on cloud nine as your cunt spills all over her fingers, wetness squirting all over jimin’s forearm and thighs.

“jimin…” you said her name on repeat, so low and barely audible, mind all foggy and hazy, as if she’d hypnotized you and the only word you can say was her name.

๑ ๑ ๑

a modus operandi. every killer has one, don’t they ?

some tend to prey on the young, weak, and most vulnerable. some may even go so far as devising a foolproof scenario that’ll get others to feel sorry for them, only to lure them right into their devious traps.

jimin was no exception to this rule. she knew exactly how to use her beauty and charisma to get anyone to fall for her tricks. she didn’t need to put in too much effort or seek anyone out because they’d always come to her. it was almost too easy, she had a whole line of men at her disposal on campus, all of which could soon become her next meal. and no one knew a goddamn thing besides you. which only made you want to scream internally. only you knew the real truth.

wonbin’s death was the next topic of discussion for this whole week as more terror spewed upon the town. no one saw it coming, he was the last person anyone would think could be a target. gossip spread around quickly, revealing more details about the scene of the crime.

some of his internal organs were missing and was cannibalized just like sungchan was. his body was so badly mutilated the authorities couldn’t even identify him at first. many were now believing it to be an act of some kind of satanic cult as there was a gigantic pentagram smeared in blood on his bedroom mirror. some were even saying that he looked like ‘lasagna with teeth’, to which you shuddered at that mental image being planted in your mind.

there was a campus curfew set in place to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the rest of the students. everyone’s worried they’ll be next, and since the killer hasn’t been caught this only made the entire town as a whole become on edge. the streets were barren, no sign of any activity past nine o’clock. no one felt safe, it was as if everything was on lockdown now. many were concerned that the upcoming spring formal would get canceled, but it’s been confirmed that it’ll still be held, although the times were changed from 7-10 PM to 6-8 PM to follow the curfew’s ‘no one out past nine o’clock rule’.

while studying in the library, you decided to do some of your own research about jimin’s strange condition, reading as many occult books as you could find. you later discovered that she’s a succubus; a female demon that has sexual activity with other men. she was at her weakest state whenever she’s hungry, needing to feed on human flesh in order to sustain her lifespan and overall appearance. you never believed in the supernatural before all of this, but now that you’ve seen it with your own two eyes, you don’t think you’ll be able to live a normal life again.

“this can’t be real… there’s no way any of this is a coincidence, first the fire now a cannibal psycho’s on the loose?” anton rants about the recent murders as you sat on the swings at the park together. you were jealous of how blissfully ignorant he was, how he had no idea how much deeper this all ran.

“i know… it seems like we can’t catch a break, now the whole words got a raging tragedy boner for us..” you sigh out heavily, still shocked by how much media coverage all of this was getting, and even more uncertain if you wanted to tell him everything.

“you alright ?” he suddenly asks, noticing the way your head hung low as you stared at your feet. it was as if he could read your mind.

you pause for a moment, battling with your own inner demons on whether or not it was a good time to tell him everything, but you decide to be honest. it was the least you could do after what happened the other day…

“actually no.. i’m not..” you couldn’t withhold this information all to yourself anymore, you had to tell anton. you needed to keep him from going to the spring formal; it wasn’t safe for him to go, even if you would be with him.

so you spill everything, starting off from the night of going to the bar with jimin, how she was brutally murdered and left for dead by that boy band who used her as a ‘virgin’ sacrifice, you told him about how she was there in your kitchen, and how she ended up slaughtering so many innocent people in her wake. you felt so sure of yourself that anton would believe you, but you were soon proven wrong the minute he opened his mouth.

“yeah you’ve officially lost it y/n, i hope you know that.” he looks at you as if you’ve gone crazy, mirroring the same actions as you from the night that jimin confessed to you.

“i’m telling the truth anton, you’ve gotta believe me. you have to promise me that you won’t go...” you practically beg, hoping that all of this won’t fall on deaf ears, but of course, he doesn’t listen.

“i’m sorry but i don’t believe anything you’re saying right now.” he chooses to remain stubborn, staying in his ignorant little bubble as if you were just making all of this up just to get a reaction out of him.

“anton, i love you and care about you so much, that’s why i’m asking you not to go.” you continue to try and reason with him, hoping that he’ll change his mind somehow, even if you sounded like a lunatic you didn’t care.

“she’s going to strike again that night, i can feel it. it’ll be like an all you can eat buffet for her !” you may not be the most morally correct person, but anton’s life was on the line. you just don’t want him getting turned into satan chow…

“look, i’m going and that’s final y/n. with or without you.” he wasn’t interested in hearing whatever else you had to say, he’s already made up his mind and there no use in changing it.

you huff out of frustration, unable to think of anything else so you do what you feel was best for him and the both of you. “i really didn’t wanna have to do this but it isn’t safe for us to be together. i think it’s best we break up..”

his eyes widened, feeling the pace of his heart quicken at your sudden words, “what ? you can’t be serious, y/n.”

“i bet jimin put you up to this, didn’t she ?” his jaw clenched, fuming at the thought of jimin conspiring a whole plan in getting you two to finally break up, it’s what she always would’ve wanted, and now anton feels like he’s just lost that seven month long, intensive battle against him.

you repeatedly shook your head, denying his accusation. but deep down you knew that you’ve already broken his trust anyway. maybe it was for the better that you were no longer together.

“are you really too blinded to see? she’s always been a bad influence on you..” anton was fed up at this point, feeling rightfully hurt by how easily you wanted to end this relationship all because of jimin. “if she told you to jump, i bet you’d ask ‘how high?’, she’s got you wrapped around her finger, controlling you like a damn puppet !”

you were now the one to get in defensive mode, visibly getting upset. but you couldn’t get too upset, you knew there was a small truth to that statement, you were willing to do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t for jimin, but you weren’t just going to let anton talk to you like that. your pride was too strong, plus you were already dealing with enough as it is. parting ways from each other was probably the best solution for you two.

“no.. i was only trying to protect you, but don’t say i didn’t warn you..” you gave him one last chance to rethink his decision but you knew he wouldn’t.

on that note, you end up heading back home. leaving anton all alone to go ponder in his own thoughts, feeling his eyes burning holes into the back of your head as he watched you walk away, fading into the void of obscurity.

๑ ๑ ๑

the night of the spring formal was finally here. the night you’ve been dreading since having that conversation with anton, forcing you to break up with him. the minute you got here you’ve been on high alert, scanning the area for any sign of suspicious activity, bringing a swiss knife with you as an added layer of protection. everyone was dressed in their best attire, bodies swaying to the music as they all tried to have a good time despite of everything that’s been happening. you didn’t see anton which you thought was a good sign, but surprisingly, you also don’t see jimin anywhere either.

you were engulfed in nostalgia once mr.bright side by the killers airs on the overhead speakers of the gymnasium; which used to be you and jimin’s favorite song in high school, but that fond memory only brought a wave of sadness to your soul now. looking back on those days, you specifically remember how much jimin’s presence gave you strength to keep going; to keep existing. you truly felt as though you had no reason to live, but she gave you one.

during your adolescent years, it was nothing but turbulence and chaos. your father would routinely come home at the crack of dawn, drunk as sin and belligerent, destroying everything he touched. your mother would do her best to shield you from seeing and hearing their daily arguments, telling you to go straight to your room and lock the door until she says it’s safe to come back out. but being the nosy, and curious child you were you’d push your ear up to the door and listen. hearing the most horrid, degrading words he’d spew, beating her black and blue until he physically grew tired and passed out on the couch. you’d run away from home a couple times, going to jimin for comfort, finding solace in one another.

jimin could easily relate to your struggles, how you both felt as though no one saw you as real, raw human beings. her father left before she was even born and her mother would dabble in sex work to keep the lights on. she despised every single one of those men who’d come into her home, sometimes her mom would be gone for several days on end, forcing her to grow up at such a young age and take care of herself. she wanted to seek revenge on all of those men who violated her, kill them with her own bare hands. maybe that’s why she’d act out so much, she was just a kid being a kid— but no one ever saw the cries for help, no one paid attention to the signs, or the scars. just labeled as a pretty face with ugly intentions. you never saw her that way though, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, her saving grace. yeah you may have been the awkward kid who didn’t talk much, but eventually she got you to open up. and ever since then, you’ve been conjoined at the hip.

a part of you still wants to believe that she’s that same naïve little girl you once knew, still so lost and so confused. but you couldn’t keep making excuses for her, even if she was a damaged soul, so were you. you truly brought out the best and the worst of each other, having seen each other at some of your lowest points in life. which is why you made a vow to never leave the other behind, but we change and evolve over time, it’s natural to grow distant. jimin simply couldn’t handle the fact that someone else made you smile, made you feel all those emotions she once made you feel— you were slipping right through her fingers. you were all she had left. and she wasn’t going to lose you, not now, not ever.

๑ ๑ ๑

an hour’s passed by already and there was still no sight of either of the two. your mild worries would soon fester into full blown anxiousness when you get this innate feeling that anton could be in danger. you weren’t exactly sure where he was, or if he’s had an encounter with jimin, but all you could think about right now was saving his life. even though you betrayed him in the end by sleeping with jimin, you couldn’t let him die, you’d never be able to live with yourself if you let that happen. so you hurried out of there and went looking for him, having zero idea exactly where you were headed, but your mind just kept telling you run, run, run.

you don’t know how long you’ve been running for, maybe around twenty, thirty minutes ? who even knows anymore. your legs grew tired, stopping midway to take a breather, until you ended up at an old abandoned pool house. you had an overwhelmingly bad feeling about the place the more you looked at it, but when you heard the gut wrenching screams coming from inside that only confirmed your suspicions, sounding a lot like someone you knew. you ran inside, following their cries for help as you try and locate which direction it was coming from, only to find jimin who seems to have found her next victim— your ex boyfriend.

“get away from him !” you demand while shouting from across the room. you can feel your heartbeat accelerate as you’re speed running towards them both, forcefully pushing her off of anton, tackling jimin onto the floor.

“why’re you doing this to innocent people ?!” you had held some hope that jimin wouldn’t harm him, but then again you should’ve known this was bound to happen..

“i’m killing boys, there’s a big difference,” she devilishly smirks, swiping the blood off her lower lip with the back of her hand.

jimin throws you off of her, causing you to wince in pain as your face made contact with the cold, tiled ground. you wouldn’t back down that easily though, getting right back up to finish what you started. sprinting towards her before she could get back to the work of her own brutality.

“y’know, now that i think of it. you were never a good friend to me,” you angrily spat, walking up to her with your head held high, refusing to let fear win this time. “you used to rip the head off my barbie dolls and pour spoiled milk all over my bed !”

jimin chuckles at your little speech, utterly amused by your resilience, even found it cute how you were still reminiscing about the past. “and now i’m eating your boyfriend, at least i’m consistent.” she shrugged.

“you make me fucking sick..” you grit through your teeth, grabbing ahold of her before she could take another bite out of anton’s shoulder.

using all your strength, you’d shoved her into the pool, submerging her into the water, attempting to drown her, but those efforts were futile when she regains control. she pulls you back, teeth becoming sharper, like tiny daggers, sinking them into the flesh of your neck. before you could react, you’re the one being lodged into the water; claw-like nails digging into your scalp, razor sharp, heavy against your skull.

it’s hard to keep your head above the water due to the forceful heaviness and before you know it, attempting to hold your breath renders itself useless due to large amounts of water infiltrating your lungs. you’re flailing, thrashing around, arms lifting— hands frantically attempting to grab ahold of anything, only to slash through the water, legs kicking mindlessly.

you had to get her off you real quick, or else you felt as though you were going to die. your body grew weaker and weaker, seeing your life flash before your very eyes as panic fully sets in. it felt as though this was going on for hours.. being edged by death over and over; feeling as if you were going to black out soon. your vision was blocked by the dark, murkiness of the water, ensuring to agitate you with fright, unsure of when it’s all going to come to an end.

and then it does… finally able to emerge from the coldness as you cough up all the water you inhaled. it took a few minutes for you to be able to learn how to breathe again, attempting to calm yourself down, only to turn around seeing both anton and jimin wailing in pain for two completely different reasons. anton was lying on the ground, putting pressure on his neck as jimin stood there frozen, holding onto the pool skimmer that was deliberately pierced through her stomach.

“you son of a fucking bitch…” she mutters, remaining still for a second, as if she was processing what just happened. a slew of more curses left her lips, sucking in air through her teeth to appease the pain as much as she can. she’d slowly but surely drop to her knees, and a few seconds later she’s collapsing to the ground in a pool of her own blood.

you go up to anton, staring down at his wounded figure, his neck and shoulder bleeding profusely. “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you..” you sniffled, unable to hold back tears you’ve shed, wishing you could’ve been just a few minutes earlier.

“it’s okay.. i love you y/n..” anton weakly spoke, coughing up red splatters of blood as he took his last few and final breathes.

you gave him one last kiss as his eyes closed, you checked for a pulse but there was no sign of life, officially pronouncing him dead. you turned around and jimin was gone. forcing you to run out of the place to go and looking for her. there was no other option you had left at this point, it was either you or her that was going to end up dead tonight.

eventually you’d caught up to her in the woods, finding her at a nearby tree, as if she were waiting for you to come searching for her.

“i have to kill you..” you cut straight to the point, grabbing the swiss knife that was at the bottom of your ankle boot, pointing it towards her.

“not if i spill your pretty little guts all over this ground first,” jimin laughs, barely moving an inch. still seeing this as all one big game to her, enjoying the thrill of it all.

“why’re you try to be the hero all of a sudden ? still feeling guilty you couldn’t save all those people who burned to death ? they were all a bunch of worthless scum anyway, if anything, i did them all a favor.” her head tilts as she asks so many questions, attempting to throw you off, knowing that it’d only agitate you further.

you backed away as she kept coming towards you, still pointing the sharp edge at her, “you’re wrong, jimin. they all deserved to live yet you took it all away like the sick, inhumane fuck you are.”

“is that really what you think of me ? then why’d you let me take your precious virginity, hm ? can’t you see ? i’m the only person who actually ever gave a shit about you.” the smile on her face was so uncanny, as if it came straight out of a cartoon. she was nothing but pure evil, and she knew it.

you couldn’t bear to listen to her speak anymore, it was giving you a headache, you had to end this quickly. you remember while doing your paranormal digging, that a blade to the heart can kill any demon, now it’s all up to you to finish the job.

“i don’t care how long it takes, you’re going to die by the end of this night.” you stated matter-of-factly, you weren’t going down without a fight, and jimin happily accepted your challenge with open arms.

she bursts out into more laughter, but it was anything but normal, it sounded maniacal, as if she were taunting you. “i’d love to see you try, sweetheart.”

she lunged forward to snatch the knife out of your hand, wrestling on the ground with her to try and get it back. you couldn’t let her win, not after all you’ve went through. all you had to do was plunge the weapon into her chest and you’d end this reign of terror once and for all. but once you obtained the knife, positioning it towards her chest, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

“if you’re going to do it then just get it over with. just do it already.” she bitterly spoke, repeating her words over and over, egging you on in your already frenzied state. even if you wanted to, you couldn’t, it was like the minute you had your chance, every particle inside of you froze…

“shut up, shut up, shut up !” you couldn’t even think straight, just shaking your head nonstop while screaming at her to stop talking.

jimin could’ve easily overpowered you by now, but it was almost as if she wanted you to do it, willingly ready to die by the hands of you.

“and to think i used to truly believe you were my other half…” you looked at her in disgust, unable to see her as the same girl who you once knew for practically your whole life. you felt as though you wasted so many of your precious years befriending someone you don’t even know anymore.

“silly girl... don’t you remember ? i bit you, so you'll eventually obtain my supernatural powers.” she reminds you of what happened not even an hour before, “our souls are connected now.”

you shook your head in protest, refusing to even entertain that idea, “no… i could never be like you, i’d rather die than be like you..”

jimin didn’t seem to be bothered at all by your opposing comments or your lack of compliance. if anything, it only made her want you even more. sure, you may not be cooperating now, but she’ll soon condition you into believing that the only thing you’ll ever need is her.

she cracks a faint smile, “i’m afraid it’s already too late for that, my darling,” she spoke to you softly. not even realizing she’s took the knife from your hands, bringing it down to your thighs, letting the blade run across your delicate skin.

“jimin…” you say her name quietly, barely above a whisper. something inside you shifts the minute your gaze meets hers, a warm, fuzzy feeling tickling a certain spot within your brain chemistry. you don’t know how to describe it, but your body feels different, so inexplicably different. as if it doesn’t even belong to you anymore.

“you know i’ve always loved you y/n,” jimin sweetly coos into your ear, “i just have an awfully morbid way of showing it.”

her words flustered you to no end, feeling guilty for wanting to just give in, all the fight soon evaporating from your body. although you still had so much love for anton, your undying love for jimin over the years trumped all of those emotions. the primal desire for her only grew once she’d connect her lips with yours. kissing you tenderly under the glowing moonlight. just you and her. along with the faint coppery taste of blood on each other’s lips.

you know why you couldn’t kill her. because if you did, you know there’d be no one else in this world who could ever understand you in the same way she does. the two of you shared an eternal bond that could never be erased nor replicated. if you were the kerosene, then she was the match, slow dancing in each other’s flames gracefully.

a made match in heaven ? no, more like a match made in hell.

[fuckyeah-jessicabiel]

Deep dive #2: Jessica Biel’s relationships timeline and all the interconnections

| Adam LaVorgna | Chris Evans | Justin Timberlake |

Disclaimer: This is done for fun. No hate, no drama, just some Hollyweirdness. It’s not a detailed timeline but more like key moments with some fun or surprising connections and anecdotes (to me at least). It’s just not possible to do one boyfriend timeline without mentionning another one. No famous people won’t be mentionned, neither most tabloids speculations. People already twist things, so it can’t be worse (right?). And please don’t judge my english.

Spring 1997: During the interview with All-Stars Magazine, 15 years old JessicaBiel shared that she only had two "sort of" boyfriends, both of whom were 17.

All-stars: In real life, do you ever date older guys? Jessica: I don’t really date very many people. I’ve had two boyfriends kind of! Both of them have been 17, so they’re usually older.

Spring 1998: 16 years old Jessica Biel is filming her second movie “I’ll be Home for Christmas” with Jonathan Taylor Thomas in Alberta and Vancouver, Canada. She met Adam LaVorgna who play the bad boy Eddie, they start dating while filming the movie. Even thought Adam is not very well known, he has been acting since he is 10. Nsync’s christmas song was used during the end credit of the movie. FYI The movie is available on Disney+.

"I knew when I first met [Jessica] there was something there. We did a movie together called I'll Be Home for Christmas. As soon as I saw her, I thought I'm definitely going to date this girl. There's no way she's getting away from me. It'll be three years in April." - Teen Magazine, March 2001

April 1, 1999: On The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jessica said that Adam Lavorgna was her first real boyfriend. She said he is very smart and go to Avon Old Farms high school in Connecticut.

“First guy named Adam, oh oh trouble trouble” - Jay Leno

August 12, 1999: Jessica Biel and Adam Lavorgna did their first red carpet together at Barry Watson’s movie premiere "Teaching Mrs.Tingle". From what I have seen, it was Adam’s first red carpet of his career.

Fall 1999: 7th Heaven producers were looking for an actor to play Jessica’s character Mary Camden boyfriend and asked her if she had any suggestion. She suggested her then boyfriend Adam. His first appearance as Robbie Palmer in 7th Heaven was in season 4, Episode 10 aired on November 29, 1999. When the producers first called his team, they refused it without talking to Adam. He had to call them to tell them to accept it. He didn’t care for the show but just wanted to be with Jessica and make easy money. Adam shared that story on the Worst Ever Podcast in 2019.

January 2000: Lance Bass from Nsync guest-starred in 7th Heaven as Rick Palmer (Adam LaVorgna character’s brother). He appeared in season 4 episode 13 that aired on January 30, 2000.

I have a friend who worked for a publicist for some of the actors on The WB, such as [”7th Heaven” star] Beverley Mitchell and the people from ”Popular.” So I was having dinner with her and Beverley, and Beverley was talking about how she wanted a boyfriend this season, and I said, ”I’ll do it!” and she was like, ”Okay!” Source: Entertainment Weekly, January 2000

So of course while filming that episode Jessica was asked by Enews about Nsync. She said she knew about them but don’t own any of their CDs and they shared their differents experiences.

“Hum but I mean cool, I guess” - Jessica Biel about NSYNC

And also Justin Timberlakeand the Nsync guys watching that 7th Heaven episode during a MTV interview.

March 2000: Jessica did the scandalous Gear Magazine photoshoot. (She quickly regretted doing that photoshoot and shared how horrible the experience was). Adam was not happy about it. There were some tensions between them while she was spending time with the interviewer.

During the time I spent with her, the Boyfriend (whom she asks not to name) is constant presence, though he’s more than 3,000 miles away in Boston. What he thinks  and how he’ll react take up a large portion of Jesse’s thoughts. He’s nervous at her being perceived as sex idol, and having a writer from men’s magazine spend several days with her is not helping. Over the course of those days, the phone keeps ringing - the Boyfriend - and it’s stressing her. [...] Jesse and I are supposed to hook up the first night I'm in L.A., and I wait for the phone to ring at my hotel room. It never does. [...] The next morning, we talk on the phone. It turns out Jesse had a big fight with the Boyfriend on the phone, and, no longer able to deal, she went to her friend's house and spent the night. And her cell batteries died because she'd been talking to him so long, and I'd given her my wrong cell number and…" Really, I wasn't trying to blow you off. Everything went wrong last night. Please don't think that I'm just some Hollywood jerk," she pleads. [...] She fields another call from her beau. It's an agitated conversation, and when she hangs up the air is very still. Jesse has a tendency to become quite serious - she says she thinks way too much and it's suddenly uncomfortable between us. He told her he's unhappy with the situation and doesn't want to talk to her until the writer is gone.The phone rings again. It's the Boyfriend - he's being a jerk, he tells her. Go ahead and have a great interview.Jesse smiles and the tension is gone. "That's so fucking cool of him." Gear Magazine, March 2000

Summer 2000: When it was time for Jessica to leave the show to attend college on the East Coast with Adam (Jessica at Tufts University and Adam at Boston College), the producers of 7th Heaven contacted Adam and offered him a regular role for Season 5. Adam agreed, dropped out of college to be in Los Angeles for filming, while Jessica, who needed a break, still went to college in Massachusetts.

With hindsight, Adam regretted accepting the offer because now he feels like the producers asked him to comeback for season 5 to hit back at Jessica for leaving the show. Jessica was still working on the show during her school break, only appeared in few episodes and her scenes were very brief. Contrary to what was said in the medias, Jessica was never fired from the show. Aaron Spelling made it clear she still had 2 years left in her contract. They destroyed her character thought.

(Read the deep dive about the photoshoot and Jessica Biel leaving the show here)

2000(?): Jessica Biel, Adam LaVorgna, Chris Evans and a group of friends attend a party all together!!

April 2001: Jessica Biel and Adam LaVorgna did a photoshoot together for Movieline Magazine. They denied dating. Adam revealed in the Worst Ever podcast in 2019 that their PR told them to deny they were dating. (off topic: When I was a kid I had the green dress picture as poster from one of my teen mag)

August 12, 2001: Jessica Biel and Adam LaVorgna did their last red carpet together at The Teen Choice Awards. 7th Heaven won best drama award that day. Adam missed the moment they went on stage, and Barry asked where is he?

August 22, 2001: Adam attended Jessica’s movie premiere “Summer Catch” but they didn’t take pictures together.

October 5, 2001: The Enquirer is reporting that Adam LaVorgna went to Promises rehab in Malibu for cocaine and Vicodin addiction.

The Enquirer is reporting that Jessica Biel's boyfriend and 7th Heaven co-star [Adam LaVorgna] checked himself into Promises rehab in Malibu after Jessica and the show's producers both gave the cocaine and Vicodin addict  an ultimatum. An insider told the taboid, "The cocaine and pills drastically  changed his demeanor." After the two talked him into rehab, he appears greatful as the friend added, "Right now he's thanking God for Jessica and the show's  producers. They saved his livelihood - and his life." Source: Jessica Biel Fansite

Adam revealed in the Worst Ever Podcast in 2019, he started drinking at 10/11yo and had Opioid addiction (and then maybe doing heroin, I didn’t understand exactly what he said). He went to rehab multiple times and the first two times were paid by 7th Heaven producer, Aaron Spelling.

In the interviews with Elle Magazine and Cosmopolitan in 2005, Jessica mentioned, without explicitly stating his name, that the relationship was not healthy. Also mentionned in the London (2005) movie behind the scene.

Everybody’s gone throught a relationship that’s not healthy for you. When I was 16, I cried my eyes out to Elvis’ “Cant’ Help Falling in Love” because I felt so in love that my heart was breaking apart.  Elle Magazine, 2005

He was lying to me and accusing me of cheating—but then I realized he was the one cheating. He was putting it on me and making me feel like shit... But then three years later, I was still with him. And then it finally just smacked me in the face and I was like I’m done. I’m over it. Cosmopolitan, 2005

October 10, 2001: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans did their first red carpet appearance at the wrap party of her movie “The Rules of Attraction”. Unless I'm wrong, Chris’ first red carpet of his career were also with Jessica. There is no information about how they met. In the interview with Animal Fair on January 2003, it is mentionned they were friends before dating. In Chris' workout video for Not Another Teen Movie, you can see Jessica in January 2002 commenting on the evolution of his body after filming the movie. They were not dating yet when he did the movie.

Jessica was back full time to L.A after one year at Tufts University. She did another semester later in 2002.

Jessica is still under her 7th Heaven contract and is working daily with Adam LaVorgna on season 6. 7th Heaven showrunner who was still holding grudge against her, made Mary desperate to win Robbie back while he keep rejecting her.

Before writing this post, I didn’t realize that it seems like Jessica and Adam never lived in the same state until they broke up.

Somehow Adam and Chris built a strong friendship for over 20 years. Adam was Chris plus-one at the 2016 Golden Globes. 💁‍♀️

November 11, 2002: The last 7th Heaven episode starring Adam aired, season 7 episode 8. There were no official explanation of why Adam left, neither off screen nor on screen at that time. Adam later revealed in a interview with belief.net that the Hollywood life (easy money, barely working, drugs, partying) is not for him, he is unable to control him and left California for the East Coast. Neither Jessica, nor the cast ever mentionned his addiction.

Jessica’s initial contract being over after season 6, only apperared in 5 out of 22 episodes of season 7. They had only 2 episodes in common.

2002: Jessica and Chris shared the way they feel about their relationship

How is it dealing with a long-distance relationship? Well it’s not easy but I think we both feel really secure in our relationship and we’re making it happen. But it’s always tough. Source: Atnzone, 2002

His favorite way to relax: Hanging out with my girlfriend as much as possible. She's an amazing person. Source: Unknow interview, 2002

January 31, 2003: Jessica Biel attended Justin Timberlake 22nd birthday party with Beverley Mitchell, her future husband Michael and a friend. Justin’s exes Br*tn*y Sp*ars and Alyssa Milano were also there. (Random fact: Adam and Alyssa families are very close, Adam call her “his cousin”)

Beverley Mitchell used to hang out a lot with the Nsync guys in the early 2000s. She participated at many of their Challenge For The Children charity events in Miami from 2000 to 2005. David Gallagher also took part of it. Beverley became pretty close to the guys. Joey Fatone also attended her wedding in Italy in 2008, and she was often seen with Lance Bass. Beverley shared during a recent podcast  with Lance Bass (@ 56min)  that she asked Jessica multiple times to come to thoses events and that she is unlike them actually good at basketball but she always refused.

During a podcast with Tia Mowry, Beverley revealed that Jessica used to tease her for hanging out with Nsync. Tia also shared a story about a Teen People party she was with Jessica where Nsync were performing. Beverley also mentionned that strange moment Justin’s mom asked her about Jessica at the 2007 Golden Globes.

October 2003: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans filmed the movie “Cellular” in Santa Monica, Callifornia. The director of the movie, David R. Ellis, asked Chris to ask Jessica to play the small girlfriend role. He also revealed they had broken up after filming the movie but were back together during the press tour for the movie.

Interviewer: They are still dating? Ellis: They were dating when we made the film and then they took a little break and now they're [back]. She's here. She was just here for lunch with Chris. Now they're back together. They just took a little hiatus.

Interviewer: At the time, was it just a coincidence that she was cast? Ellis: No. What happened was I knew Chris was going out with her, and I said, "Why don't you show this to Jess and see what she thinks. If she'd like to come do it, you guys could do something together, it'd be cute." Unknow interview, 2004

November 2003 to February 2004: Jessica Biel is training and then filming the caothic Blade: Trinity in Vancouver, Canada with Ryan Reynolds and kind of with Wesley Snipes.

From Febuary to June 2004: Jessica Biel is filming Stealth with Jamie Foxx and Josh Lucas in Australia and Thailand.

January 27, 2004: At the Perfect Score movie premiere, Chris Evans confirmed their break up (unknow source)

June 30, 2004: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans confirmed back together. They were pictured together in Santa Monica.

September 2004: During press tour of Cellular, Chris shared that they decided to be more low key and how hurtful it could be to read about heartache in magazines.

Evans says he and Biel, whom he describes as "such a sweet girl," have agreed to keep their dating private. "Relationships are difficult," he says. "All that emotion and pain. I can't imagine opening a magazine and reading about my heartache at the newsstand. I said, 'Let's not be seen at clubs being loud and obnoxious. Let's not go to premieres or parties. Let's not get our picture taken.' She's all for it." New York Daily News

(Jessica is a teen star and yet has never been seen being loud and obnoxious at club in the last 25 years)

January 2005: Even thought Chris Evans said it’s a bad idea to work with your girlfriend, Jessica and Chris worked again together in the movie “London”.

“Just don’t do it” - Chris Evans about on set love after filming Cellular

During the interview with Allure in 2009, she is asked to comment about a picture from "London" with Chris.

JB: "That was the beginning of the sex scene in the movie." ALLURE: "Old boyfriend?" JB: "Yes." [rolls her eyes] "You know how it is...."

July 2005: In the July issue of Cosmopolitan, Jessica Biel denied rumors that she and Chris Evans were engaged but they do talk about it.

Interviewer: Do the two of you ever talk about getting married? JB: We always talk about it. We both want to be married, and we both want to have children. But we’re not engaged, so the rumors are false…so far.

On July 6, Jessica attended Chris’ Fantastic Four movie premiere in NYC

March 2006: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans are pictured together for the last time as a couple while walking Jessica’s newley adopted pitbull Tina.

June 30 2006: Wenn.com reports that Jessica Biel and Chris Evans broke up.

Jessica Biel and Chris Evans have called it quits after dating for more than two years, according to media reports in the US... Evans, who starred in Fantastic Four, is currently filming The Nanny Diaries with Scarlett Johansson. A source tells the US edition of OK! magazine that Evans has recently been spotted out in New York City with brunette public relations executive. Meanwhile 24-year-old Biel has been in Los Angeles filming Next with Nicolas Cage.            

October 2006 : Life & Style Weekly reports that Jessica is seeing Adam Levine. They have never been seen together or ever talked about each other. Zero detail about how or where they met. Sound 100% bullshit.

November 6, 2006: TMZ spotted Jessica walking her dog with Zach Braff. Yep that was before she eat him (it’s a Bojack Horseman reference). They never talked about each other and have never been spotted together after that.

November 28, 2006: People reports that Jessica and Derek Jeter are cozying up all over Las Vegas. They also have been spotted together at Social Hollywood on Nov. 15.

December 7, 2006: According US weekly and In Touch, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake were at Social Hollywood. It is kind of confirmed by Justin on his book.

When I met Jess, it was undeniable how beautiful she is. We were at a surprise party in Hollywood at a speakeasy kind of a bar, a private club, and we were standing around in a group of people. I made some sort of sarcastic comment, really dry. Nobody got it except her. She laughed, and I noticed, all of a sudden, and in the way where you wonder if a person’s like you, if they have a very dry, dark sense of humor, too. We talked that night. The DJ played “Lucky Star,” and we danced. And then she was gone. I didn’t ask for her number. It wasn’t the time. From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

End of December 2006/Begining of January 2007: Scarlett Johansson is filming the music video What Goes Around with Justin Timberlake.

From January 1 to January 5, 2007: Jessica is pictured with Derek Jeter in Puerto Rico for the first and the last time. They have not been spotted together after that.

January 5, 2007: Gossip site reports that Scarlett Johansson and Justin Timberlake were seen chatting away at his movie "Alpha Dog" party.

January 8, 2007: Perez Hilton reports on his blog that Jessica Biel was at Justin Timberlake first show of his Futusex/Lovesound tour. Confirmed again on his book released in 2018.

My first show for the FutureSex/LoveSounds tour was in San Diego. A friend who also knew Jess was going to come to the show, and she asked me, “What if I was to bring a certain somebody?” I said, “I could be into that.” Patience may not be my strong suit but, apparently, playing coy is. My friend brought her to the show. They were with a whole crew of girls, and they all came into the dressing room and hung out. After the show, they were going to go back to LA, and I was going on to Anaheim. I asked them if they wanted to come with me. “I’ll give you a ride, you can come on my bus. If you want …” And they did. Jess and I talked the whole way up, joking around. Before she got off the tour bus, I said, “Can I have your number?” That was when we started talking on the phone. We didn’t date at first. For about two weeks, we talked on the phone, because I was on tour.

Then the Golden Globes came up, and that’s when we planned on seeing each other. From that moment on, we started dating. We were both still seeing other people, keeping « ourselves safe from getting hurt, from really putting ourselves out there. It took a bit for both of us to admit to ourselves that we were really, really that into each other.

From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

January 11, 2007: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz confirmed tabloids speculations and released a break up statement via People. There were already rumors of Justin and Cameron break up. Pagesix reported that Justin spent the new year at Kate Hudson party and Cameron with her family in Vail, Colorado.

January 15, 2007: Golden Globes Night! Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, both presenters that night, see each other for the first time since his San Diego show as planned and got flirty. They were just not expecting 35yo Cameron Diaz public tantrum!

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, who announced last week that they’d split up, got into a heated argument at Prince’s Golden Globes afterparty early Tuesday morning. The exes, who’d chatted politely during the awards ceremony and even shared laughs at InStyle’s annual afterparty, hit the rough patch in their officially amicable breakup at a wee-hours bash hosted by the singer at the Beverly Wilshire hotel. According to witnesses, Timberlake was chatting with actress Jessica Biel when Diaz approached. Biel stepped away, and the former couple had a serious exchange. Diaz walked away, Timberlake followed, and the two were soon spotted engaged in an intense 40-minute face-off in a side room. Diaz reemerged looking composed, but not before Timberlake held his head in his hands and, says a witness, “slammed his fist (down) into a cabinet.” Source: People.com

The pair was continuing the touchy-feely flirtation begun earlier that night at the Creative Artists Agency-sponsored bash at Sunset Towers. And his ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz couldn’t help but stare. “Cameron was across the room giving them the evil eye,” says a party source. “It was like high school.”  “All of a sudden she just lost it,” says one of the many witnesses to the tantrum of Diaz. “She came up and started yelling at Jessica.” According to a witness, Biel, 24, stepped away, leaving Diaz, 34, to unleash her fury on Timberlake, 25, who moved with her into a hallway. Says a guest, “First she started saying all these nasty things to him about Jessica like, ‘What is she? Your new f—king girlfriend? Look at her!’ And then she insinuated things about other guys that Jessica has been with.” The tirade went on for 45 minutes, until Barrymore finally intervened. Source: US weekly

No pictures of them together were published at that time. Years later, this picture will be shared

January 18, 2007: TMZ reports that Cameron Diaz is in Hawai with Kelly Slater. US Weekly mentionned that she flew there the next day of Golden Globes.

January 25, 2007: Jessica is spotted at the Sundance Film Festival.

People.comJustin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have been spotted chilling, flirting and snowboarding lately – but don’t peg them as a new couple just yet, sources say in the new issue of PEOPLE. Earlier this month, Timberlake invited Biel and a few friends to hang backstage at his concert in San Diego, and the pair were spotted snowboarding together with a group of buddies at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, on Jan. 25. - People.com

Still no pictures of them together.

February 2, 2007: Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette reps confirmed they ended their engagement to People.com

February 5, 2007: During the superbowl week, People.com reports that Justin, Scarlett and Joey Fatone arrived together at a party in Miami. They didn’t appear romantic according the source.

February 11, 2007: Justin attended the Grammy Awards as a performer and Scarlett as a presenter. On the red carpet, she adressed the rumors “We have a lot of friends in common, and it’s always good to see him”. Source: People

February 26, 2007: After GQ magazine Oscar party, Jessica Biel and Blade Trinity co-star Ryan Reynolds have a dinner with a group of people at Astro Burger in West Hollywood, including their PR, Meredith.

March 5, 2007: During the fashion week, Jessica Biel and Scarlett Johansson are seen shopping together in Paris, France. Jessica and Scarlett have known each other since they are teens. They did a photoshoot together for Teen People Magazine in 1998.

Jessica and Scarlett have always been friendly with each other over the years (Hitchcock movie premiere 2012, Oscars 2017 with JT)

March 9, 2007:  MTV reports that Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds were seen having a dinner at Santa Monica’s Balabu that week. The pictures seems to have disappear from internet.

April 9, 2007: People reports that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds spend the week end together

April 2007: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake decide to be exclusive. Justin’s 1st US leg tour ended on March 29, 2007. They spend a month together and they decide to be exclusive before touring Europe from April 24 to July 10. His world tour ended in December 2007.

« When I came back from tour, we spent a month together. After that, I said, “I really want to be exclusive.” And, somehow, she said, “So do I.” It was crazy, because I was about to leave for Europe for three months. Two weeks later, I came back to LA to see her. Then she flew back to Europe with me, and we spent two weeks on the road together. We were going to different cities, having a ball, with room service and pay-per-view and great dinners. And Scrabble. We’ve had a lot of unforgettable times. From Justin Timberlake book, Hindsight

"At one point, we decided we were going to be exclusive. It was that moment; we had that conversation, and literally the next day he was like, 'OK, I'm going to Europe for six months. And I was thinking to myself, What are you doing? You're going to get your heart broken. This guy is the biggest ... whatever he is, and-are you nuts? You're so crazy. But he's just not that person."  Jessica Biel on Marie Claire, 2017

May 2007: In the may issue of Seventeen, Scarlett Johansson while doing promo for her movie The Nanny Diaries (also starring Chris) talked about the rumors linked to her and Jessica.

“We live in a world today where if two people are single – and one’s a guy and one’s a girl and they’re both famous – you’re going to be linked with somebody; If it’s somebody one week, it’s going to be somebody else the next week. It’s either me or Jessica Biel.” Source: People

Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz attend the premiere of the movie Shrek 3 and are doing promo for it.

May 13, 2007: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake officially confirmed, they are pictured together for the first time in Manchester, UK. Jessica joined him during his tour.

July 7, 2007: Jessica Biel and Chris Evans who broke up a year before attended the wedding of a friend in Santa Barbara, California. It doesn’t seem to be someone from the industry, there were no other celebrity. Jessica explained on the Late show of Jay Leno that paparazzi followed her from her Brentwood house and she had to negociate with them. She posed for them in exchange of them leaving and stop bothering the wedding.

June 2008:  Intouch reports that Jessica Biel is moving with Justin Timberlake in his Hollywood Hills house but she will still keep her Brentwood house. She was rarely seen around Brentwood after this.

July 11, 2008: Eonline reports that Jessica, Justin and Chris were all at the opening of the nightclub Kress in Los Angeles but didn’t interact.

Justin Timberlake and girlfriend Jessica Biel made a rare public outing, complete with public displays of affection Friday night in Hollywood at the official opening of Kress, which was crawling with celebs. Timberlake and Biel arrived around 11:30 p.m. at the four-floor club on Hollywood Blvd., where a reserved cabana on the roof deck awaited them. "They're very happy, and very much together," an onlooker told E! We're sure that was evident to Chris Evans, Biel's ex-boyfriend (they dated from 2001-2005). The Fantastic Four's Johnny Storm circled the roof all night, avoiding his ex. "They didn't interact. Chris just wandered around by himself, looking for a table to sit at," the source adds.

September 2008: People reports that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds wed in Canada

October 12, 2008: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake did their first official  public appearance at Barack Obama rally in Las Vegas, Nevada.

December 10, 2008: Justin and Jessica did their first event together at the Make The Difference Network’s holiday party to benefit Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. Make The Difference Network (MTDN) is a social networking website founded by Jessica’s family in 2005 focused on connecting nonprofit organizations (kind of like Gofundme for nonprofit organizations before Gofundme existed but without fees).

January 12, 2009: Justin and Jessica were having dinner at Yatai Asian Tapas Bar when Br*tn*y Sp*ars came in with her mother. They didn’t interact, she left 30 minutes later. Jessica and Justin left shortly after.

May 2009: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake did their first red carpet as a couple at the Met Gala. It was pretty unexpected because Justin never did red carpet with Cameron during their 4 years relationship. Anna Wintour co-chaired that year Met Gala with Justin.

Febuary 2010: On the february issue of Vogue Magazine, Jessica shares how she feels about all the tabloids speculations.

It’s definitely been weird and sort of bizarre to deal with. But you have to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Honestly, I look at a magazine and they know more than I do. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t feel the need to clear anything up. It’s the most precious thing that I have in my life, and I care about it so much that I don’t care about what anyone says or thinks. I have just not addressed it in any real way, and I’m not going to. It’s mine. And I really like that about it.

March 2010: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are filming the movie Bad Teacher...

February 28, 2011, Jessica and Justin are spotted at Bowling in Studio City with his mother, Lynn.

March 10, 2011: After many years of never ending rumors, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake reps confirms to People.com that they have broken up.

Reps for the couple released a statement Thursday, confirming the split: “Addressing the media speculation regarding Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake’s relationship, we are confirming that they mutually have decided to part ways. The two remain friends and continue to hold the highest level of love and respect for each other.”

Again after the break up, Jessica is pretty busy.

April and May 2011: Jessica is filming Playing for Keeps with Gerard Butler in Louisiana 

June to September 2011: Jessica is filming Total Recall with Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale in Toronto, Canada.

June 2011: In the June issue of Vanity Fair , Justin talks about Jessica.

"She is the single-handedly most significant person in my life. In my 30 years, she is the most special person, OK?

So I protect it, and until somebody shows me what would be more fulfilling at this point, that's what I have to do. I would rather not talk about her, because it's hurtful for me. It's unfortunate that even though you make the effort to say something, which I tried on for size, people do what they want to do.

I don't want to say much more, because I have to protect things that are dear to me—for instance, her."

June 2, 2011: Jessica is seen on Motorcycle Ride with Gerard Butler. Their reps tell People they are just friends.

Meanwhile Justin is spotted hanging out with Ashley Olsen. Justin reps denies the rumors of dating to People, he is hanging out with “a group of friends”. Estee Stanley, Jessica and Ashley’s stylist and close friend, was with them. (On this one you will have to believe me i saw all of them in one video with other people leaving a restaurant and hotel, I can’t post the source).

In May 2012, Jessica shared on social media the RAW backpack that Ashley Olsen gifted to her.

June 03, 2011: Enews reports that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake reunited at his best friend Trace Ayala girlfriend pregancy party but were just friendly.

Bumping into an ex at a mutual friend's party can be awkward for most of us. But not for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, who attended the same party on Thursday afternoon in Brentwood. According to a source, the former couple was more than civil at the celebration..."There was no PDA, but they were talking to each other for awhile," a source tells us. "They ate and sat next to each other." But did it look like the onetime twosome were rekindling their relationship? Not exactly. The exes arrived and left the soiree, which was a celebration for J.T.'s friend and business partner's Trace Ayala's expectant girlfriend, separately.

They did kiss before departing, but it wasn't the romantic type of smooch.

July 3, 2011: US Weekly reports that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel were spotted at the Black Hoof restaurant in Toronto where Jessica is filming Total Recall

August 2011: Multiple twitter sightings of them in NYC

August 28, 2011: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake confirmed back together, they are pictured riding bike in Toronto where Jessica is still filming Total Recall.

October 30, 2011: A unknow actor posted on twitter a halloween picture of him with Jessica Biel and Chris Evans. Jessica is dressed as a Kardashian and Chris as ...a thug...

December 23, 2011: A twitter user reports that Justin Timberlake proposed to Jessica Biel at the top of a mountain in Montana. He got the information from their ski instructor friend (not posting his tweet because he is not a public person). Justin and Jessica are known to do heli-snowboarding which would explain why they had an instructor with them. They didn’t confirmed or denied at the moment.

March 8, 2012: Jessica Biel is seen wearing her engagement ring for the first time.

May 7, 2012: Jessica Biel joins Twitter and Instagram

May 24, 2012: Chris Evans joins Twitter

August 2012: Jessica’s Brentwood house is sold.

October 19, 2012: Jessica and Justin tied the knot at the Borgo Egnazia resort in the south of Italy. Jessica was wearing a custom petal pink Giambattista Valli Haute Couture gown.

October 21, 2012: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake flown to Tanzania for a honeymoon amongst the wildlife.

May 2013: Chris bought an house in the same street as Justin and Jessica.

In his interview with Hollywood Reporter in 2019, Chris mentionned that “he thinks” Justin Timberlake lives around here. The little shady interviewer doesn’t believe that he doesn’t know that Jessica also live there.

He keeps it closer to the vest about other people. He mentions in passing that Justin Timberlake lives around here — “I think” — without mentioning that Timberlake lives around here with his wife, Jessica Biel, who was once Evans’ girlfriend.

March 2, 2014: Jessica Biel took a picture with Chris Evans’ brother, Scott Evans, at the 2014 Oscar party.

September 27, 2014: Jessica Biel who is very well known for being fit is seen with a little belly at the beach in Hawaii.

October 14, 2014: For the first time, Justin shared a picture of them on social media during the New Zealand stop of his 20/20 Experience world tour.

April 8, 2015: They welcome their first son Silas Randall Timberlake. 12 days later Justin shared his first picture on Instagram. After few months, they stopped sharing his face.

July 2020: They welcome their second son Phineas Timberlake. They were able to “hide” her pregnancy because of covid lockdown. They never shared pictures showing his face.