#dedicated to my husband

[qquinzze]

Commute Back Home.

Stuck between strangers, I balance myself on the orange pole on the carriage by holding on to it tightly with my other hand close to my body, to bring my handbag closer to me as my contribution to reducing my space usage percentage as a fellow train user.

My stop arrives, and I must now hold on to the bar on the side, to land safely on the platform edge. Mind the gap, or else.  My route is up the stairs, alongside a bevy of humans, all with headphones in and their bags strapped to their backs, trying to end the day like me. After a long day of adulting, working, studying, and existing in the capitalist structure, we all return to our abode, our home.

I walk up the wet stairs, trying to keep up the pace with the rest, while avoid the wet remnants of the London weather. I scan my pass, I walk quickly as I can to meet the only one in the world that matters. Him. I get out of the station, and I look around to find him missing. Where was he, he said he had already arrived at the station and would wait for me. My heart drops slightly, before I see him from the corner of my eyes.

With his overgrown tussled chestnut hair, wearing his newly bought grey Uniqlo raincoat that he has been obsessed with, he walked towards me with a smile on his face, a smile that made my heart flutter, just like how it did the first time we met. On his left hand was a bundle of fresh flowers, in a beautiful bouquet with the colours that we called ours, yellow and purple, the symbol of our love. My face turns red as I grab his hair and plant a soft kiss on his lips before gazing into his honey eyes.

"Thank you so much, I love these flowers."

[bitchassmcgrass]

[lovedeathalice]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling. teeth jitterbug, mind boggling, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip bitting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tangos, he could put a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride. Morning, noon, and night, he can pump me full and turn me into his own personal Supe making factory

[demxters]

is there a new theme i spy

it isssss 🥰🥰🤭

[crowlixcx]

The Scrapbook Series

[mashbrainrot]

[electric-plants]

tbh i do think sometimes that cyno would view him and alhaitham as like equal partners who motivate each other etc etc meanwhile alhaitham is constantly like two seconds away from fulfilling his dream of quitting his job to be a house spouse

[lamoreeenitaaa]

“Mesmerized by your pretty smile, and your pretty eyes” 💙🥰

[quilleth]

Bioware made a mistake bringing Isabela back for da4 because like hell she wouldn't tell the entire da2 crew about what's happening with Solas which means they'd all show up ready to curb stomp him about Varric. Even moreso if hawke was left in the fade. That's two of their number down because of this fucker. Also Merrill should get to deck him specifically while also being like "what, like it's hard?" about fixing the eluvian that was blighted and cost her two of her closest childhood friends (potentially), her place in her clan, and her home. Again, going back far enough, because of him.

I just miss them 🥺

[veilkeeper]

okay wait we have a romanceable old man so everyone put in your predictions now

[eri-pl]

Melian saw the darkness in Thingol's eyes and married him anyway

Long, chaotic stream of thought below cut (no, nobody owes anybody a relationship)

I'm not saying Idril should have married Maeglin, or whatever. I'm perfectly fine with "Idril didn't want to date Maeglin because she was not into it, and/or he was her cousin and whatever". She had every right not to. Same as everyone.

I'm just saying "saw the darkness in his eyes" is a very weird way of phrasing it. Especially when we look at the three cases of "darkness in eyes" (all essentially fatal):

Melkor (seen by Varda, in the context of romantic rejection)

Feanor (seen by Galadriel in the context of I have no idea) (also I'm sure Nerdanel wasn't blind either. But, as I said, "darkness in eyes" is not a good reason to not get in a relationship, not by itself. "I can't handle this darkness" is a good reason. Nerdanel could handle a lot)

Maeglin (seen by Idril, in the context of romantic rejection)

What do those three have in common?

One of the interpretations (not the one where Thingol easily fits however) is "they're great, best they can, but still not good enough":

Melkor is the most Vala, but he was also the first Vala and he "grew up" being the only finite being he new. and he hated it, he despised himself for being less (it is clear to me from the description of his obsessio with the Flame etc)

Feanor was the most Elf to even elf, but also Finwe wanted more kids, so obviously Feanor got the message that he wasn't enough.

Maeglin was brilliant, and an only child, but also his father was the super-stern, avoidant-attachment tangle of cold trauma that was Eol. I'm sure he got a consistent message of "you aren't enough".

So, there's this inherent not-enoughness. (How is this a reason to not date someone??? I mean, sure, it results in behaviors and problems, but really, really, we could phrase those rejections differently.)

(Or maybe it was "she saw he's going to be evil" but I hate this concept, it rubs wrong with free will to me)

Am I bashing Tolkien? Not really. You know, what vibe I get from those darknesses? CSL's relationship to Susan. You know, "the character he obviously hated". The character he based most on himself.

"Saw the darkness in his eyes" (and hated him for it) really feels like the author looking at himself. So of course I'm not going to bash him, he bashed himself too much already.

So what was that part about Thingol? Just a click-bait?

Melian was an Ainu. Thingol was an Incarnate,. In a world where the very existence of incarnates is a result of the discord, a result (or at least everyone believes so) of evil. of course he would have tons of darkness in his eyes! His very existence is something that shouldn't be if everything went well!

(BTW Feanor "killed" his mother and Maeglin was a child of a marriage that was terrible and not even a valid marriage tbh. they both have very much of the "their existence is the result of some evil" syndrome)

And I'm not saying Melian owed Thingol to marry him. No, she did not. But she saw the opportunity and she chose to and that's passing awesome.

(And then the same motif with Luthien and Beren who was a Men and as we all know, Men are problematic, even compared to Elves.)

And I know this started from Tolkien's wife, but still, the fact that it's always this gender setup... It's interesting in many ways.

I'm not even saying that Idril owed Maeglin (or any other sombination of those) a friendship, or a therapy. No. She set her bounduaries and it was a good thing to do, you need to know your limits and needs and all that.

But when someone can afford it, can afford to look at the darkness, and go forward anyway... it's passing awesome.

Also, going back from metaphysics into attachment styles and relationships and marrying a sad person... One day the darkness will be too much to handle. Not for B&L who lived a short life, but Thingol often ignored Melian, and Feanor and Nerdanel even separated.

But it is normal. And it doesn't make the relationship wrong.

You can handle only a finite amount of someone else's emotions (if you choose to handle them at all, which, again, you are not obliged to) and the point of it is for them to grow and learn to not need your help anymore. It is difficult and doesn't always work and it is normal. It is human.

My point is than it is better to support someone for as long as you are able to without herming yourself and then let them handle it on their own, than to not support someone at all. But again, sometimes "as much as you can afford" is zero, and it is ok. It is ok to not interact with difficult people.

Just please, don't say "I saw a darkness in his eyes". Say "I cannot handle this" or "I have other emotional commitments", or "I need my strength elsewhere" or "I need time and peace to heal" or something like that. It is about your rights, not their wrongs.

You don't owe anyone a relationship, friendship, or anything. But nobody is inherently undeserving of relationship or friendship, or fully incapable of it (some people need more help than others though).

ps: "passing" is a term I borrowed from "le Morte d'Arthur" and it means something like "exceeding expectations". I like it.

And, leaving the theme of romance, I could probably write another long post about how the opposite of "darkness in his eyes" is the light of the Trees in eyes of the Elves (except: Feanor had both) and why I'm not as big a fan of the trees as everyone in the canon (they were a good thing, but not as absolute as everyone paints it) and what Valinor was and what it was not and how the very existence of Valinor is the essence of "you have darkness in your eyes, you can't play with us" attitude but also my expectations are way too high and it's easy to complain in hindsight

Maybe one day I will post something more coherent about it.

Just... let's end this on saying that seeing the darkness, and calling your beloved beautiful and getting married anyway—

[waugh-bao]

[skinnypaleangryperson]

This is really more of the fanfic writer or philosopher in me coming out, but I can imagine how a grotesque and probably complicatedly traumatizing it must have made Rick feel to see the sweet, beautiful memory of his wife that he's pretty much more or less dedicated his entire life to (as much as anyone can to someone who's dead) be turned into a cheap little mimic by his nemesis-turning someone that you love more than life that you can't get over into something that is nothing except for a weapon, cheap and metal, from a life that was already taken from you and a person that was already taken from you that initially should have been warm and natural and the sweetest simple life.

It's no wonder he's so bleak-eyed and wrecked by the end of the episode. You also have to consider that this is evidently one of the first times that he's seen her in a long time: there was literally a line where he said "God, I miss that face".

[wildsaltair]

no one look at me while I let him ruin every aspect of my life

[onebizarrekai]

there's an entire temple dedicated to the maintenance of the seasons in holodrum and protecting the rod of seasons and its four spirits. meanwhile nayru is just keeping the harp of ages in her basement

[xoxochb]

guys guess what I got one of the first copies of this book AND got it signed by the author 🤭🤭