#dedicated to my Muh

[doubtingdebispoems]

My Muh

My Muh was always honest with meWanted my eyes open to believeThe world wasn’t meant for those like meBraver than most men, my eyes openMy Muh said, that she had been hopin’For a strong daughter who would stand upTo the men and systems so corruptFor me to call everyone outAbout the lies that they would shoutLoud enough to drown all the truthAbout the women still in their youthWell, I grew up a…

[hedgehog-moss]

I decided to dedicate a post to Mama Pampy! Who rarely gets the spotlight on this blog, because well-behaved llamas seldom make history... I mentioned yesterday that she's the matriarch of her little herd (for new followers: Pampelune aka Pampy is Pampe's mother and Poldine's grandma), but I didn't really go into what that entails. It means she's a precious help to me when it comes to curbing Pampe's fight for freedom, because she has the authority to call the other llamas back when they wander too far away from her.

(Note that this didn't apply when Pampe was a teenager. Teen!Pampe obeyed her mother rarely and/or accidentally and thought nothing of wandering away all on her own. But ever since becoming an adult and having her own baby, she's slowly started paying more attention to Pampy's alarm sounds and other commands. She grudgingly accepted the bare minimum amount of responsibility required to keep her child alive.)

If the other two llamas wander off and Pampelune is able to follow, she'll follow in order to keep an eye on them; but conversely if you make sure Pampy can't follow, then the others won't stray too far. So I can let the llamas out to trim the grass around my house without haltering Pampe or Poldine; I just have to keep Pampy close to me. To no one's surprise, she keeps her eye on 1 llama in particular—

If her daughter wanders too far, Pampy will utter a firm "muh!" and Pampe will reluctantly return. (It's more of a "moo", really, but since llama and cow languages are clearly not in the same family and probably don't have mutual intelligibility, I'll use different spellings so it's not confusing.)

Pampelune knows who is and isn't part of her herd. The hens are outside of her jurisdiction but Pirlouit is not—she doesn't talk to him, because he never muhs back, but she does spit on him sometimes which means he is an honourary llama to her (a dubious honour, if you ask Pirlouit) and she also quietly checks on him, especially when she's out of the pasture while he is stuck on the other side of the fence, alone.

I hope this foray into llama herd dynamics isn't too boring; I'll add that I can't let Pirlouit free roam along with the llamas because he would follow Pampe if she starts wandering off, and Pampe loves having Followers. It immediately goes to her head and she'll often stop listening to her mum and trot away if she's managed to recruit disciples (that's also why Pandolf is not in these pictures. He's locked in the kitchen because he would not only follow Pampe but heartily encourage her to go somewhere. Pan is a rule-follower but within the realm of reason, i.e. if going for a walk is wrong then he doesn't want to be right.)

Poldine following Pampe isn't a problem though, because she is very respectful of her grandma's authority, so if anything she's a good influence on Pampe. At some point she wandered a bit too far while grazing and a stern "muh!" was heard, and she immediately came back and stood at attention behind her chief.

Her attitude with regards to her grandma / matriarch reminds me of this kid:

It's not all work for Pampy, she does get to eat too, but always with one ear angled in the general direction of Pampérigouste.

Meanwhile I read and have a glass of apéritif—llama outings usually happen in the evening as an extra precaution (you can never be too prudent when you let Pampe free roam)—the llamas don't like being out of their pasture at night, so they'll go home without a fuss when it starts to get dark.

Sorry for the poor quality, this is extra zoomed in, but I just realised I managed to capture one of our elusive cow neighbours in this one photo!

One of the few advantages of an abnormally warm autumn is that the herds are still out... You can hear the clarines (cow bells) in the distance, it's such a peaceful sound. Besides the bells, evening bird calls and Pampy's disciplinary muhs, the only other sound is the occasional heart-wrenching braying from Pirlouit. Stuck in the pasture all alone. Deprived of grass, empty of hope, unloved. (He gets to go out for frequent donkey-only outings but that doesn't make the present unfairness of his situation sting any less apparently)

Bringing everyone home when my apéritif is finished is quite easy, all I have to do is offer some muesli to Pampy. No matter where she is, Pampe's head will spring up, indignant.

Pampelune isn't even really into muesli, she prefers fresh fruit peelings, but Pampe won't take any risks.

(Pampe's nose is all scratched because she got very annoyed with flies last month and kept rubbing her face on things to remove them... Thankfully now that the nights are colder, she's finally rid of them!)

Once Pampe is back in the pasture I can let Pandolf out! He'll run a few circles around Poldine then escort her back home, not that she wouldn't follow the other llamas without any prompting, but you've got to let Pan be a sheepdog sometimes, he's so happy to contribute. Sometimes I even let Pirlouit out so that Pan can immediately bring him back in. Once all four animals are in the pasture he'll turn to me like "Everyone's home safely! Just before night! Thanks to me, Pandolf" and I'll make amazed noises at his excellent herding.

[dansconcepts]

Everything's Coming Up Hajime

The following drabbles (they're little scenes of different things with some more detailed than others because a fic was too ambitious for me :'>>>) completely and wholly inspired by and dedicated to @gliittergelpens for their headcanon post on Hajime (found here) and also the connected follow up interaction here. Go check 'em out :D! And I hope you enjoy this :).

Bleary lights. Bright. Dreary. 

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

NO!

Bolt, bolted, he can’t move, why can’t he move? Everything’s not okay, why is he here again? Where are they? Get to the corner, get to the corner, he can’t move he can’t move!- (why is he prolonging the inevitable? He hasn’t done that in so long)

Pressure starts compounding on his chest. He shakes. He doesn’t want to go again, it’s going to be another round of tests again, he didn’t know he agreed to this! Let go, let go, let GO!

“Hajime.”

They never call him that. He is the subject, their project, the plaything to rip apart because he is nothing more than an experiment. He is not a person. He is not Hajime.

“Hajime.” They repeat. “It’s Makoto.”

Makoto?

He doesn’t recognize-

Makoto Naegi.

He blinks. His body slumps. As if his body was lead, his head slowly turns toward the source.

“Makoto Naegi” was never one of the researcher’s names. He knows, because he remembered each and every one, even if he didn’t want to. No, Makoto Naegi is someone else entirely, someone who isn’t associated with the Project. 

Sage-coloured irises meet his gaze first. They are warmer than any of the researchers’ eyes. 

…He isn’t in a lab, is he?

“Muh-” He winces. His voice sounds terrible. 

“Hey, drink up.” Makoto commands, not unkindly. “I know you’ve been in there for a while, but try your best.”

A glass of water is held to his lips and once they hit, his lips burn, but he downs it gratefully anyway. His throat protests in agony.

“Do you know where you are and what happened, Hajime?” 

Hajime stretches, pops coming from all his atrophied joints. “W-we- ugh, Jabberwock Island. K-cough-illing game.” The Killing Game. At the reminder, adrenaline starts coursing through him, and he immediately lurches out of the pod.

Makoto gently pushes him back.

“Yes. The other survivors are awake, but they do not hold the memories you do.”

“W-what about everyone else? What happened to them?”

“They’re still in the pods.” He tries jumping out again. “BUT!” Makoto blurts out. “BUT they’re okay. They’re not in the killing game right now. They seem to have created their own worlds-”

“What can I do to wake them up?” He quickly interrupts. 

“Oh, um, I was going to get to that part.” A small smile stretches on his face. “I knew you’d want to help. I would’ve been the same.” 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Darkness. 

He feels so tired.

He hasn’t felt this tired in… so long. Everything… is so tiring.

Lights threaten to blind him. 

No. 

Let him sleep.

Let him sleep…

“Hey, Nagito... it’s Hajime.” 

He stirs. Hajime?

He looks at the tanned skin, eyeing the scars on the undersides of his eyes, further littered over his arms, and then tracing back to his equally scarred lips, that were currently sipping on a cup in his hands.

“Ha-jime.” He croaks. Wordlessly, Hajime provides him some water. With weak hands, he reaches out toward the cup, and manages to squeeze enough of a firm grasp on it. Hajime continues sipping while he slowly gulps down the offered water. 

“Ahem,” He coughs. “Hinata, my apologies. …What happened?”

“You’re one of the last few to wake up, Komaeda.” Hajime replies, and notably, provides no context. “What do you remember?”

The question sparks his silence. His mouth purses into a deeply thin line. He eyes the man in front of him. Is there something he must have forgotten? “...Nothing particularly pleasant.” He decides on.

Hajime scrutinizes him. He stays quiet. Hajime slumps over with a sigh. “Okay, fair enough. Your pod opened, but you wouldn’t wake up. You’re in the hospital now.”

He looks around. Yes, he gathered that. The white walls and bright fluorescent lighting weren't foreign to him, he would recognize such a place no matter where he was. He could voice that, but there are more pressing concerns.

“I’m afraid I still don’t understand. How did I get here?”

“We went through a rehabilitation program.”

“Ah.” The memories are hitting him now. “Yes, sorry, I do remember us Remnants being captured for such a thing, although I don't remember much else.” He hums, looking the other up and down. “It worked, then?”

“That depends. How do you feel? About, you know, hope and despair and all that.”

“Well,” He chuckles, “if you’re worried I’m going to blow up this hospital in the pursuit of ‘a greater hope’, you would be greatly mistaken.”

Hajime breathes out a sigh of relief. “But I imagine my luck could affect that greatly. It's very fortunate you could balance it out.” The other gazes away from him, looking down in thought. How curious. Was it something he said?

He subtly tilts his head. The brunet covertly glances around, as if he was watching for something. Piercing eyes returns to meet his. “You can't get up to any crazy shit just because I can do that.” The other jokingly chastises, but his eyes remained guarded.

He nods with an smile. “Oh, I would never.” To anyone, it would simply be him teasing. However, he can tell Hajime's trying to hide something about his talents, and someone here is watching them. He wonders who would cause such paranoia.

Hajime fills him in on what occurred, being saved by the "Future Foundation" (oh, it's them.) and particularly specific members (Makoto! As in Makoto Naegi, The Ultimate Hope Makoto? Yes Komaeda, just keep it in your pants.), as well as explaining Nagito’s status, his mental and physical state (still affected by his pre-existing conditions, albeit less so), and the new addition to his body.

He turns it. He didn't even notice he had a new arm. It feels seamless, although the metal is strange to feel underneath his fingertips.

“I had to replace it.” Hajime explains. “The dead tissue was threatening to spread to the rest of your body if it was kept there. It was fine when we were hooked up to the pods since that was preserving it, but since you went into a coma, we had to act fast.”

“Hmm.” He curls his newfound metallic fingers. He sends him a smile. “It seems I owe a lot of my gratitude to you, Hinata, for helping trash like me.”

There's a pause. “We'll work on that,” is the response Hajime settles with. “...Do you want to meet everyone else?”

He freezes. Everyone else?

Although he doesn't know why, he feels himself pale completely and his body shivers. Everything in him feels cold, as if the temperature dropped, as if his whole body rejected the very idea of something he was otherwise only semi-wary about. He knows he had many reasons before to feel apprehensive around his former classmates, given his past transgressions during his time as a Remnant and theirs, but this feels... bone-chilling. Buried deep within his psyche, perhaps connected to the memories he doesn't have.

“What happened in the program.” He bluntly states, rather than asks.

“No one else remembers too, if that helps.” Hajime starts. It doesn't. “Even I barely remember it. Everyone has felt snippets though, things they avoid subconsciously, or they experience nightmares about it.” He wonders if Hajime has nightmares. He wonders what Hajime avoids. “It was broadcast-”

“I want to watch it.”

Hajime's jaw tightens. “It wasn't that type of broadcast. It wasn't recorded, it was just shown to Makoto and the other survivors. Besides, it's best you don't anyway. You're going to remember something about it.”

“How cynical. What if all I remember are pleasant things?” Nagito inquires, even if he knows the likelihood of that is so astronomically low. He is aware of himself. He knows being put into a situation like the Killing Game would just mean he'd have made very elaborate plans and schemes. Thinking that, a sharp pain in his abdomen sears through him, and he winces. It's a whisper of a feeling, but it felt... real.

Hajime merely lets out a defeated sigh. “I hope it is, Komaeda, I hope it is.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Throughout everything, this was the last thing he thought about. 

The scars. 

For the longest time, he forgot about the scars. For the briefest of moments, his complexion wasn’t completely covered by raised bumps, of angry red tissue, of the careless abandon from scientists who dissected him to fit their molds of perfection. 

And now he’s left looking into the mirror, tracing. His fingers feel the ridges. He remembers the scalpel digging into his eye, even if he didn’t feel the pain of it. He looks at the angry lines along his muscles, his thighs, and he knows with certainty it can be traced down to his feet, the bathroom counter being the only reason he can’t see the reflection of it. He remembers exactly what they forcibly fused together, being haunted by the ghosts of the sutures that were once there.

This is who he sees looking back at him.

…Mikan cleans the glass away from his fist.

[He could’ve done it himself, but it would’ve been a messier job, much like with anything else he would try nowadays.]

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Hajime is out training with Nekomaru, alongside Akane, and casually working out with them.

Nekomaru points out the bandages that suddenly replace his glove, and he waves them off. “Just an accident.” 

After a decent workout, he starts heading back to his cabin to shower when he spots Fuyuhiko to the side, relaxing against a wall.

“Hey.” He greets.  

“Yo.” The former yakuza head nods.

They watch those on the beach, a tall orange blurb chases after a red one, their laughter filling the air as suddenly they're jumped by an even louder multicoloured blurb cackling with mischief. He can hear Hiyoko's distant cursing while Mikan rushes over, fretting. He snorts.

Fuyuhiko crosses his arms, a smile on his face at the scene. “Can’t believe we get to have this.” 

“I know.” He agrees. He’d do anything to ensure everyone here stayed happy like this. Speaking of, he has to make sure to check on the next shipment of supplies afterward. He refuses to have those Future Foundation workers anywhere near the Island otherwise. But first, shower.

He's about to leave when-

“What’s with the bandages?” The former yakuza asks.

He contemplates lying. The last thing he wants is for everyone to start worrying about him. As if aware of his thoughts, Fuyuhiko sends him a particularly scathing glare, menacing even with the eyepatch. He fesses up immediately. 

“I punched a mirror.”

“Why?”

“My scars-” He starts. 

Fuyuhiko quickly interjects. “There’s nothing wrong with them.”

“Part of me understands that, but I look at them and just see…” Hope's Peak. The Hope Cultivation Project. The Remnants of Despair. He squeezes his bandaged hand. “...bad memories.”

“Yeah, I feel that.” Almost subconsciously, Hajime glances at Fuyuhiko’s scar, hidden behind black cloth. Fuyuhiko meets his gaze, unflinching. “I hate thinking about having that bitch’s eye in me.”

“How do you do it?” How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you live with yourself? How do you not hate yourself? 

“Being a former yakuza, scars were symbols of respect. This scar?” He gestures to it. “It’s a reminder I’m not some psychotic fuck anymore under that bitch’s heel.

I know I’m not you, Hajime. I don’t have the amount you have. But know that your scars show that you’ve survived, and you’ve made it out the other side. That’s admirable.

And ain’t nobody here went through the type of shit you did. We all look up to you. You’ve had this whole thing on your shoulders. Nobody thinks you’re damaged goods with those scars. Hell, we think of them as a reminder that you’re the strongest out of all of us.” 

“...Thanks, Fuyuhiko.”

“No problem. Now you should go take a shower, you smell like shit.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Hajime waits in front of the screen. In no time, Chiaki's grinning face pops up. “Hey Hajime. It's nice to see you. How're you doing today?”

They talk amicably. Even though she wasn't his former friend, the reminder of her AI was comforting, and in the few pleasant dreams he had, he remembered her presence (and in the worser ones, he remembered her death).

“-There's a call for you by the way, I think. It's from Makoto.” He nods. “Thanks Chiaki.”

She patches him through, and he finds it so striking the difference between now and the tentativeness from the beginning, back when they were still establishing Jabberwock Island. Signal seemed daunting, and they (him, Makoto, and Byakuya) were still trying to get Chiaki's AI booted back up. He remembers when they first suggested she try to call the Future Foundation (particularly Aoi, since Hajime refused to have the new Future Foundation head or some random member appear on the screen, since he'd contemplate breaking the nice monitor in half from sheer rage). “It's not what I’m programmed to do,” Chiaki had said, “but… I can try.”

Of course, Makoto and himself exchange pleasantries and talk for a bit, but then it derails into... less pleasant topics. “I'm hoping to finish up the layout for Hope's Peak.”

He tightens a hand over his glove, pursing his lips. “Makoto. I’m glad you want to reclaim yourself, but Hope’s Peak? Really?” He hisses, and Makoto sighs, as if they had this same argument over and over again. 

They have, by the way. Relentlessly. He is NOT getting over this, not by a long shot. He already knows how much Makoto invested into the project, but he’s still of the very firm belief he should’ve invested zero. Of course, he wouldn’t taint their rare ability to chat with one another about it, but he isn’t above reminding Makoto if he brings it up, just to be petty.

But being TRAUMATIZED WATCHING YOUR FRIENDS GET MURDERED is one of the many valid reasons for having absolutely NO interest in seeing the place that tortured him, everyone he cares about, Makoto, everyone Makoto cares about, and basically THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD, come back to existence. 

He loves Makoto, he does, and he knows Makoto’s a good guy, but… 

The idea of Hope’s Peak not being some fucked up breeding ground for hope and despair? It doesn’t seem possible. Part of the problem in the first place was the idea of pitting students against each other, forcibly defining people's significance based on whether they had “talent” or not. As well, they really sucked at developing talented people's talent, giving arbitrary assignments (from what he heard) and no actual practicality applied. He would know. His body is literally littered with their failure.

And the Future Foundation providing a substantial amount of the funds for this project? Hajime has no doubt in his mind that there’s something underlying their generosity. 

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

It's looking to be another sleepless night, despite the weight under his eyes begging for relief. Hajime just stares at the ceiling. He feels the body beside him shift the bed, creaking it ever so slightly, and in his peripherals Nagito faces him. Nagito has always been a bit of a restless sleeper (not that he blames him), so he isn't surprised to hear him ask, “What’s on your mind, Hajime?”

He sighs. “I’m just worried about the whole Hope's Peak idea.”

“You don’t believe in Makoto?”

He quickly flips onto his side to frown at Komaeda for the sheer idea. “I believe in him, I don’t believe in anyone else.”

“Well, I can’t help but feel a little hurt…”

“You know how I feel about you.”

Nagito hums. “Do I?” He smirks. “How do you feel, Hajime?” 

Why is he turned this way again? He flips back around, ignoring the way his ears start to warm up.

“...Shut up and go to sleep already.” 

He hears Nagito chuckle behind his back. It settles eventually though. Ah, Nagito finally went to bed.

“You know,” Nagito's voice pipes up, still awake after all. His voice sounds a little whimsical, as if nearly about to sleep. “I don't necessarily disagree with you. I thought it was a place of great hope, and the fact it's being run by the Ultimate Hope is quite amazing. But...

There's you. And the hope in you has been shining so brightly this whole time.”

He freezes. Did he just-?

The words spark something in him. As if they sounded familiar.

He gets a rush that tea- nor even caffeine back when it did anything for him- has never achieved. When he eventually does sleep that night, his dreams are pleasant.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

It's one of those rare instances Makoto lands on Jabberwock Island and can say hi to everyone. They meet at the small restaurant on the Island where Hajime prepares some tea for himself. He offers it to Makoto, who takes it gratefully.

Much like their video chats, the start talking about what's currently going on when Makoto- once again- mentions Hope's Peak.

Hajime lowers his cup.

“I'm going to be reinstating talents at Hope’s Peak.”

His fingers clutch his glove. He digs them in, sharp and quick, his lips immediately pulling down into a frown.

“Did… someone force you to do this?”

“Uh, no?” Makoto averts his gaze. “I’ve consulted with basically everyone since you’ve started getting me a little paranoid…”

“You should be. The Future Foundation doesn’t deserve you. You’re way too good for them.”

“They're trying to change.” Makoto states, with not much conviction.

Hajime hums skeptically. Sure they are. “Just watch out for yourself, yeah? Because the first thing I’ll do is leave this island just to kick their asses. I don’t need an Ultimate to make them into ragdolls.”

Makoto chuckles, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “...You must’ve practiced that.”

“Being around Fuyuhiko and Akane tends to give you some badass lines.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

It starts like a regular day. Things break, people fight, problems arise, he deals with it. When he sees the broadcast, he doesn't know how to deal with it.

“Oh, Makoto's on TV. How exciting.” Nagito mentions offhandedly, as if it was something as casual as the weather. It decidedly is NOT. Is Makoto okay? Why would he be broadcasted? Is this another...?

“-ing Hope's Peak,” He catches the tail end of. “In this world, there's nothing more important than banding together to fix the Tragedy that occurred. Rejoice with me as your new headmaster. Alongside the Future Foundation, we'll bring forth a new hope together!” Hajime cringes, and cringes hard. This doesn't sound like Makoto at all. The Future Foundation logo is the last image of this blatant ad, what the fuck, but he's seen enough.

He knows exactly how to deal with this.

He strolls into the new Future Foundation headquarters (although that may be underselling it). Instantly, upon seeing him, people start shrieking and running. Red lights blink in and out. He brushes it off. It’s the last of his damn worries right now.

He's rushed by armoured guys. He suddenly feels like he should've thought this through, but he continues on. He slips himself into the old Remnant persona like an ill-fitting jacket, paired with a little Ultimate Actor prowess. “Let me through or I'll make sure your families have nothing to put into a casket.” Okay, not his best work, but it's enough for them to back off. They watch him. He even hears one guy cowering in fear from behind. It's that which allows him to catch the guy's arm and dislocate it. Everyone jumps at the sudden violence, and the guy screeches.

He knows it's fixable, but he still feels bad. The mask he wears threatens to slip, but he keeps going until he gets to the new Future Foundation head. (Hajime met her before through a forced video call, with them threatening to interfere at Jabberwock Island if he wasn't capable enough. “I am Sumiko Hatanaka,” they introduced themselves. “Ultimate Administrator. Given the circumstances the Future Foundation is currently in, I have become appointed as the temporary replacement head provided my previous experience and commitment to my work.”)

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” He sneers.

“How are you here?” She asks. “What are you doing here?”

“That wasn’t my question.” 

He sees a sheen of nervousness across their forehead, but they don't let up their frown.

“Why are you here, Hajime Hinata, Remnant of Despair?” 

Why is he here? Why is he HERE?

“What gave you the right to use Makoto for some ad for Hope's Peak? What the hell are you doing, exposing him further to the public? Do you know what this could do to him?”

“I assure you, I have no vested interest in letting a valued employee be defaced in any way, shape, or form. His mental faculties are highly important to this company. Meanwhile, you are jeopardizing the very people you wished to protect by coming here. Was it worth it?”

He growls, “Leave Makoto the fuck alone, or I’ll remind you why I was a Remnant.”

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Makoto’s Hope’s Peak is in full operation. He doesn't know if he'll ever visit. So instead, Hajime is left pondering the future, and living on the Island with the rest of his classmates.

He genuinely hopes nothing bad will happen, but...

He wouldn't bet that it won't.

[intellectual6666]

Congratulations, your hardwork and dedication have paid off my sweet angel

Here are sweets and a beautiful bouquet for you 💗, really such a great day to celebrate 💐🥂🥳🌷 love you

Thank you so much didi 😭😭😭

Aaj bohot khush hu, aur meri khushi mein aap khush ho toh aur bhi accha lag raha hai, you're really the sweetest soul ever 😭🫂

Aap logon ki ashirvad ki wajah se result accha hua hai <3

Aap bhi muh meetha kar lijiye 🎀🫂

[randomthefox]

I'll stop tagging my complaints about Archie/IDW on their main tag when Y'ALL stop tagging your complaints about the video games in their main tag. When I can go even a SINGLE DAY of browsing the Sonic tag without seeing people complaining about how bad the Games are and how cringe SEGA is and how OOC the writing is because muh baldy mcnosehair.

If I have to see YOU assholes talking shit about the thing I like on a CONSTANT FUCKING BASIS when all I'm trying to do is browse the tags dedicated to it, then you mother fuckers have to see me talking about how dogshit the thing YOU like it. The day YOU start tagging YOUR shit with "anti game Sonic" is the day I'll do the same. Can't take the heat then stay out of the fucking kitchen.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Greetings everyone! It is 4am and you know what that means. Thats right, its time to read ACOMAF :) chapters 41 this time. enjoy

Chapter 41

What we're just smashcutting straight to Velaris?? we're not gonna see Feyre talk about all the shit the mortal queens just said with her sisters??

ugh dont remind me of the fact that amren drinks blood but only animal blood because human blood is too watery or whatever. she couldve been my vampire girlie in this a/b/o world but instead shes just a lame disappointment in a lame disappointment world. that also doubles as an a/b/o world, lest we forget that

ughhhhh dont remind me of the fae not being affected by iron

Okay, i have to admit this line kinda slaps: "Maybe then Elain would get an engagement ring that wasn't forged out of hatred and fear."

Yeah Feyre, I hate to say it but you failed HARD as an ambassador, you are so bad at politics, but technically this was all Rhysands idea so I'd say it was his responsibility to make sure youre not bad at politics, so Im blaming him for all this

I made a joke in my last post about how the night court is really US governmentcore and now Cassian is like "we could just kill the current queens and put queens in place thatll cooperate with us" and the only reason Rhys doesnt wanna do it is because it would take too long and because they dont know what effect this will have on the book, not because, i dont know, he'd be interfering with foreign affairs and robbing all of humanity of their agency. I mean, its a monarchy so i guess humanity didnt have too much of a choice when they ascended to the throne, but atleast those queens have their best interests at heart and dont cooperate with former slave-owners

Why does Feyre care so muh about Mor potentially hurting Azriels feelings, is he not acting like Tamlin at the start of ACOMAF where he was all like "no Feyre, you cant go to the sper dangerous place, its dangerous"

Okay so, the oldest queen is the queen of The Black Land, which is a very vaguely africa-coded place, where humans were born slaves to the fae, unlike everyone else where I guess humans had to get captured by the fae to be enslaved OBVIOUSLY she doesnt wanna cooperate with fae, shes even more justified in her decision in my eyes

But then Im thinking, why can she even decide what happens with that little piece of land, Im guessing thats not part of the black land so would that not fall under the jurisdiction of one of the other queens? Honestly, they shouldve just spoken to each queen alone, I get that theyre strapped for time but im sure they couldve forged atleast one alliance without the oldest queen speaking for all of them there. Also, from a doylist perspective, it wouldve been good padding since sjm insists on making her books stupidly long and it wouldve probably given us a more functional government structure because right now it just seems like these queens who allegedly each have a kingdom to run are just hanging out in the same palace all making collectively decisions for the entire continent, which is stupid

What is it with Sarah J Maas and portraying freedom fighters being very dedicated to their cause as a bad thing, sepcifically because its not very condusive to a romantic relationship? Like, in Crescent City Hunt was a rebel and he was in love with the leader of the rebellion before she was killed and he enslaved and its very tragic and he cant love anyone but her, but then he manages to move on and fall in love with Bryce and it turns out to be a better experience for him. Specifically, theres this one scene where he buys her this jade egg or maybe she buys him one i dont remember, and he reflects on how if he had given that kind of gift to his former lover she wouldve appreciated it for one second and then just let it rot on some shelf because she just had other things on her mind, and I thought that was an interesting perspective for their relationship, but now that we're getting a similar thing with Jurian and Miriam except Jurian isnt the love interest of the MC so hes more likely to get demonized it seems kinda weird innit

Oh boy we're gonna get the UTM reeanactment soon arent we. sighhhhhh

Btw what the hell is up with Mors truth powers. Apparently a lot of people in her bloodline have them?? What makes Mor so special then, i thought the reason she was special was because her power was unique. I guess its just uniquely strong then (FOR A WOMAN) but thats just lame and also weird imo

Oh the Hewn City is called 'Höhlenstadt' ['Cave City'] in german and I think that sounds pretty bad ngl. rare Alexandra Ernst L

Feyre keeps going about how Rhys is gonna risk everything for the sake of stopping the war and its like, girlie if you keep jacking him so hard youre gonna rip his dick off, but also, hes not gonna tell anyone where Velaris is right?? Like, it'll still be hidden and safe behind that force field, people are just gonna know of its existence now. And even if Veritas shows the queens Velaris by starting off with a birdseye view of Prythian and then zooming in, that wouldnt be enough for the mortal queens to figure out Prythians geography to the point where they could actually tell where it is, not the mention that Velaris is positioned in a way that makes any attacks, but especially attacks from the mortal land, extremely difficult

Feyre talking about the repressed desire she felt when she say Rhys all naked and vulnerable when he woke up from that nightmare is very inappropriate when you consider that he was dreaming about his rapist, but is also surprisingly relatable because I too like my men best when theyre submissive and crying. its a crime rhysand never ended up getting pegged tbh

Rhysand talking about how he cant bear the thought of Feyre mentally returning to UTM when she just barely managed to leave it behind is funny cuz its like, whos idea is it gonna be to dress Feyre up like she was when you were assaulting her UTM. i dont think its her

I dont know what it is but Im already so over this stupid plotline with Mor and Eris, maybe Im just tired cuz its early but god, i dont ever wanna hear about it again

[snowberry-crostata]

Better Reasons to Fight a Civil War

In TES:V, we’re told that the banning of Talos worship is the straw that broke the camel’s back and led to the creation of the Stormcloak rebellion after the White-Gold Concordat was signed (whether that’s due to earnest belief or because it was a convenient excuse for a power grab is outside the scope of this post).

Personally, I don’t like this as an explanation. If you're not a rabid, frothing-at-the-mouth Talos stan, there’s very little motivation for joining the Stormcloaks (other than muh freedom, I guess), which is why I always joined the Imperial side. But when I decided to start this Stormcloak playthrough for funsies, I still found myself wondering what would compel a Nord to join their cause.

Maybe it’s because I’m still struggling with what Talos’ role in the Imperial pantheon actually is (seriously, what does that guy even do) but on it’s own, forbidding the worship of the fan favorite God of Men doesn’t seem like it would be enough to plunge a country into war for decades, especially when it seems like he has relatively few dedicated worshippers. If this is all we have to go by, then the idea that the Talos ban is a convenient excuse used by Ulfric to grab power has merit BUT it doesn’t explain why so many people would join the Stormcloak cause since, as a recent post pointed out, people seem to be pretty ambivalent about Ulfric himself. Rikke has a line where she tells Tullius that more people join the Stormcloaks every day so there are obviously plenty of Nords who feel that establishing Skyrim as an independent kingdom is worth it, but why? Being part of the Empire obviously benefits Skyrim and its people, both economically and in terms of politics and stability. It feels like there has to be more going on here.

Interestingly, Ulfric Stormcloak’s (many, many…) speeches allude to a number of problems in Skyrim that do seem like they’d be more compelling reasons to take up arms against the Empire that has been your country’s ally and leader for six centuries. The problem is, you never actually see any of these issues in-game. Most of this stuff is only mentioned in books or in single lines of dialog (or in the case of Froki Whetted-Blade, a HUGE cultural shift that is only mentioned by a single character who lives in a shack in the wilderness).

So what are some better reasons to fight the Civil War on the Stormcloak’s side, especially for a Nord character? This is my personal list, from most to least compelling from a character/roleplay perspective:

(1) The Great War began when Emperor Titus Mede II refused to accept the terms demanded by the Aldmeri Dominion (outlawing Talos worship, ceding southern Hammerfell, paying tribute to the Dominion, etc.). He did this despite his own generals warning him that the Dominion had superior military strength compared to the Empire. Nord soldiers helped turn the tide of the Great War, but at great cost. Despite their sacrifice, and immediately following a significant victory at the Battle of the Red Ring, Titus II turns around and signs the White-Gold Concordat which gives the Dominion everything they were asking for in the first place! The sacrifice of what is presumably a large number of Skyrim's men and women who faithfully answered the call of the Empire is rendered useless. They died for nothing. If I was a Nord who lost loved ones in that war, I would be pretty mad.

(2) When Hammerfell objected to the terms of the White-Gold Concordat (one of the concessions, which was made without their input, would have forced them to surrender a large portion of southern Hammerfell to the Dominion), the Emperor betrayed them and renounced them as a province, leaving them to resist the Dominion on their own. Despite being abandoned by the Empire, the Redguards were able to fight the Thalmor to a standstill on their own for five years, eventually forcing a treaty which booted the Dominion out of Hammerfell. This victory would be highly motivating to those who envision an independent Skyrim. It also makes the Empire look really, really bad for rolling over and agreeing to the Dominion’s terms after they successfully pushed the Thalmor out of the Imperial City. If the Redguards alone could fight the Dominion to a standstill, then all of the Empire’s legions working together would have had a good chance at smacking down the Thalmor forces (there is definitely an argument that can be made in defense of the White-Gold Concordat, but this is post about the Stormcloak perspective).

(3) The Empire that Skyrim joined under Tiber Septim is not the Empire that exists today. Since the beginning of the fourth era, the Septim Dynasty (those of the dragon blood - culturally, this is probably as important to the Nords as it is to the Imperials) goes extinct. The Elder Council then spends decades bickering and backstabbing over who will be the next Emperor while the Empire’s territories try to recover from the Oblivion Crisis. As their leadership fails, Black Marsh secedes, then invades another part of the Empire. Hammerfell and High Rock go off and sack Orsinium, pushing Orc refugees into Skyrim. Skyrim, which actually seems to have it together at this point in history, steps in and not only allows the Orcs to settle in their lands, but gifts Solstheim to the Dunmer to help the refugees fleeing the eruption of the Red Mountain. While this circus is going on, the Thalmor take control of the Summerset Isles, back a coup in Valenwood, and then ally with them to form the Aldmeri Dominion. They manipulate the Khajiit into favoring them, and Elsewyr also secedes from the Empire to join the Dominion. Despite all of these losses, the Emperor still chooses to disown Hammerfell. By any accounting, the Empire of the fourth era is a shitshow. Their short-sighted bickering, backstabbing, and politics led to massive losses in power, territories, and allies. By the Stormcloaks’ reckoning, the Imperial leadership have shown themselves to be fickle, incompetent, and weak. Any competent leader is going to be questioning whether or not belonging to this Empire is worth it.

(4) The Empire was content to let the Reachmen take, and keep, control of Markarth (or at least ignore it while they monopolized Skyrim’s military forces for their own fight), despite the execution of Nords under the Forsworn regime (this in-game book says the Nords were jerks and deserved it, but the author is also pretty clearly a Forsworn apologist and miiiiiight not be the most reliable source).

(5) Skyrim’s resources are being exported to other regions of the Empire to pay their debts without suitable compensation or benefit to the Nords (I believe the silver coming out of Markarth is specifically mentioned in some dialog, but I could be misremembering). Those debts could very likely be tribute owed to the Thalmor (since that was one of their demands at the beginning of the war), adding insult to injury.

I'm going to throw out one more wildcard headcanon, because this really bugs me (but it’s not as supported by the in-game dialog and texts, so it gets its own section):

My personal headcanon to explain some of the retconning that happens vis-a-vis Nords between games is that the culture of the Nords has been slowly disappearing, consumed by the Imperial way of life, but (and this is where it diverges from canon) it is still the dominant way of life for the majority of Skyrim. Their language, their religion, and their traditions - all are being eaten away at by Imperial influence. One of the things that’s really bothersome is the retconning of the Nordic pantheon away from being the dominant faith in Skyrim. The Imperial Cult of the Eight Divines developed by St. Alessia in the first era was literally created by watering down the Nordic pantheon and adding in Elven lore. UESP describes it as “a carefully designed compromise between the Aldmeri deities …and the deities of Alessia's Nordic allies.” During TES:IV, Nords are still reported as being devout followers of the Nordic Pantheon, not the Eight/Nine Divines, but 200 years later in TES:V, they're all suffering from cultural amnesia and have completely switched over to the Imperial Cult.

(Side note: apparently discarding the Nordic pantheon for TES:V was not an oversight, but a conscious decision on the part of the lead designer, and I will argue to the ends of Nirn that it was a stupid-ass decision that seriously reduces the narrative potential of the main story)

The fact that this compromised pantheon is treated like the universal and unquestioned faith of Skyrim in TES:V is weird. The people of Skyrim have been violently opposed to elves and elven influence since the days of Ysgramor, so shrugging their shoulders and being like, “Sherzarr? Oh, you mean elven Shor. Yeah, I’ll accept it, no problem” would be so out of character. There are previous High Kings who have gone to war to fight the expanding influence of the Imperial Cult in Skyrim. Narratively, it would make more sense if there was tension between the traditionalist worshippers of the Nordic gods and the growing number of followers of the Eight/Nine Divines - things like disagreements about establishing temples of the Imperial Cult gods like Kynareth (rather than Kyne) and Mara (who has a relatively minor role in the Nordic pantheon) in Skyrim’s cities. Fighting the Empire and establishing Skyrim as its own kingdom is a way for Nord traditionalists (and isolationists, and xenophobes - let's not forget them in all of this rationalizing) to "return to the old ways" and push back against the erasure of Nord religion, language, and tradition.

[hyzenthlayroseart]

Since my third fursona Tiffany is a homicidal maniac I figured she's good for vent art.

Anyway here she is killing live-action Scuttle (kinda based on the scene in The Lighthouse where Robert Pattinson killed that sequel) as a metaphor for how I hate the live-action remake trend so much that it actually gives me suicidal thoughts.

Studying Disney has been my passion since I was a kid, I loved researching Walt Disney's life story, his early work with the Alice Comedies, then Oswald, then Mickey, the start of Disney animation, the history and making of their Silly Symphonies and all their animated films, learning all about Walt's Nine Old Men, learning about the history of Disneyland, reading books about Disney, watching documentaries about Disney...

It all fascinated me so deeply that I used to dream about becoming an animator. And now the exact same studio that inspired me after studying it for decades is the one responsible for me giving up my dream of becoming an animator. Because they don't give a shit about their own legacy. They don't give a shit about Walt Disney's legacy.

All their animated masterpieces are being lazily remade into live-action just for money and because animated films aren't "real" films so they need to make them live-action so they can bring them to life (except those stories were already brought to life by all the animators who put their heart and soul into them by bringing them to life with animation). They're not "looking at the stories in a new way", they have zero creative intentions behind any of them, they just need to make money AND unfortunately it works because idiot audiences see the trailers and say "MUH NOSTALGIA" and flock to see them when they could just rewatch the originals if they love nostalgia so much.

It's such a bleak time right now. AI is trying to replace artists, animation if being lazily remade into live-action, Disney almost took a documentary about Howard Ashman off of their streaming service (the man who made the music for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and  the Beast and Aladdin and was one of the people responsible for saving Disney with the Disney Renaissance), they actually DID remove the show Prop Culture (a show dedicated to searching for props from famous Disney films and preserving them, so basically a show about preserving Disney history is now gone forever, further proving how little Disney cares bout their legacy), mindless franchises are still shitting out movies, and Pixar just fired 75 of its employees including the woman who saved Toy Story 2.

I'm so glad I saw Across the Spider-Verse a few days ago, it was something that actually gave me hope for the future of animation.

And don't bother commenting with "WELL I THOUGHT (insert live-action remake here) WAS GOOD" because I don't give a shit.

[beevean]

Let’s start with the peak of the show:

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Y’ALL LIKE BERSERK?????? WE SURE DO!!!!!! PLS LET US ADAPT IT!!!!!!!!!

no, don’t you touch my Berserk. But this scene is cool as hell. The rest of the season was a marked improvement over S2 and 3, but still hard to sludge through. This post is nowhere near as well structured as my previous ones (and even those were rambly) because I have just... mentally checked out. I think S3 broke me :(

One of the biggest problem of this season for me can be chalked back to one narrative choice: a time skip of six weeks. This was not a good choice, because now we see characters acting nothing like they did in previous seasons, and what should have been character development... just feels like OOCness. Some of the plots also feel rushed, probably because much more screentime is dedicated to fights now.

~

I’m so sorry, Trevor and Sypha, but you really got shafted in terms of story. Again.

Their subplot is the same as S3, helping a village: in this case Targoviste, the same where Lisa was executed. They extremely blatantly lampshade that all this time they did nothing but react instead of acting. Ngl, I skipped episode 7 because my god is their story boring. Yes, I shouldn’t have done that, but I really couldn’t stand it anymore. But I have to mention this scene:

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It’s so dumb lmao. This is the best Ellis could come up with to explain why vampires hate crosses. They hate geometrical forms. This is Twilight levels of pseudoscience.

The “swearing rant” would be funnier if Trevor were the only one to swear like a sailor. Oh, Sypha says “shit”? I did not forget how she mused that she could make Trevor drink her pee way back in S1.

I like how Death is foreshadowed, by introducing it as a mythical figure Trevor and Sypha come across. And even better, one of Varney’s first lines: “I was one of Dracula's first loyal followers!” You sure were :D ... well, were this canon Death. It’s not.

I also was genuinely surprised that the Alchemist in the Infinite Corridor was also Death... even though I myself remarked that she looked like she could be Death! Okay, that’s on me for not putting two and two together, but that was cool.

I don’t like how both Caesar and Abraham seem to know Varney out of nowhere, though. Things happen offscreen.

Oh, wait, I of course have to post this video:

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muh “at least it’s original”. Anyway, making him a superior villain using Dracula for his own means is an unnecessary change that devalues the original villain even more. But we're used to that.

Speaking of which, Jesus is their short time as the rebis hard to watch.

At least I have nothing bad to say about the Trevor vs. Death fight. Peak hype. Excellently done :>

St. Germain’s face heel turn is well foreshadowed. The Alchemist in the Infinite Corridor tells him that he can still has his morals, etics and soul left to sacrifice if he wants his wife back. And he says that he’d do anything to get her back...

I felt genuinely bad when he killed a librarian because he wouldn’t give him the information that he wanted, and he breaks down crying because he just murdered someone, and he’s starting to fall so low in his quest :(

Aaaaand he gives us this immortal line. Now this is what we call some true writing.mp4.

(I have no idea how Caesar came in contact with him though. Again, things happen offscreen.)

As a positive note, I did like how the second to last fight of the show took place in a clock tower, like in the original Castlevania :) and awww Trevor said "I love you!" to Sypha! Cuties <3 and they're going to have a child! My heart <3

~

Carmilla is back again! More or less. I sure didn’t miss her in S3. I’m very happy with her situation in S4, because she only appears in two episodes :)

She gives us the stupidest, pettiest villain rant she could give us, with the worst possible lead-in.

"Do you think Dracula would have kept Hector in his castle were he dangerous?"

"OH THE CASTLE. I SURE WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT CASTLE. HERE LET ME RANT ABOUT THE STUPID OLD MEN I WANT TO TAKE STUFF FROM. NOW I’M ANGRY AND INSANE OUT OF NOWHERE AFTER BEING OUT OF FOCUS IN S3."

So the villain of this #deep and #intricate show is literally nothing more than a generic supervillain who wants to conquer the world because she wants to, with a dash of good ol’ radfem. Okay. Good writing. I don’t care anymore.

And btw, Carmilla suddenly being wary of Caesar for having “a deviousness in him” and saying that “he could kill” is terribly out of nowhere. Where does this come from? She was the first one calling him puppy and all. Caesar did jackshit in S3. This is a horrible way to fix the mess that has been his portrayal.

(I do like how Caesar himself theorizes that Carmilla is now “overreaching” because being thirsty is a core trait of being a vampire, that's an interesting insight)

And then the bitch dies.

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Yes, just like that. Eat shit in hell <3

But still, I’m not 100% satisfied because... she has appeared so little since S2. She did nothing in S3, and then she had her little radfem rant in S4. Why did she go insane out of the sudden? We don’t know.

And I don’t give a shit anymore. She’s dead, that’s what matters! :D

Striga and Morana get a little more focus this time, and the focus is them going like “shit, Carmilla’s plan was dumber than we thought”. Striga even, surprisingly, takes pity on all the farmers she kills in her Day Armor, and realizes that this is what she’d be doing the whole time if she followed Carmilla. Basically, they’d spend the rest of their eternal life fighting humans to keep control, since now they know that humans don’t go down without a fight. Not surprisingly, when Carmilla dies (and they think Lenore died too), they decide to run away and do their thing together without scheming. Go do your thing, girls.

Of course, I always reserve Lenore for later :)

~

If I had little to say about T&S, I really have nothing for Alucard.

Obvious reference to this iconic scene:

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I get that you have a watersport fetish, Ellis. Cut that out.

Well, his depression lasts only the first episode, just enough for him to change into a costume that is very similar to his SoTN one, but shirtless because why not. Then we meet Greta of Danasti! Yes, completely unrelated to the one C3 character not included in the show. She’s your typical badass woman who takes no shit from no one.

Nothing to say about his subplot either. It’s boring, I can’t keep up, I skipped episode 7. I really have no more patience. Sorry, man. And the main trio gets back in S4E9, after being separated ever since S2E8! I think that weakened their otherwise touching finale.

Oh, right, and his big trauma over being raped and nearly killed is mentioned in passing conversation as a noodle incident. Greta even lowkey jokes about it.

As I said, it was nothing but fetish fuel for Ellis to masturbate to :)

~

Abraham was the arc I had the second most interest in. This dude is beloved, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. And... I think I cracked it :) but still, even with very limited screentime, he ends up being the best character of the season.

Abraham tells us very plainly (well, to the statue of the defeated Magician) how much he changed... as if we couldn’t tell by his sudden and unexplained care for burying the people too rotten to forge because he sees them as victims, or how he sympathizes with FlysEyes and doesn’t want to see him as a tool (interesting how it’s reserved to the only night creature who can talk like a human... does it mean that the other creatures have human sapience as well?). He reasons himself into an interesting conclusion: he has agency, and he liked the feeling of righteous justice when he killed the Magician, so he will try to change the world for the better. This is a fairly good direction to take his character in! But I can’t help but feel that it contrasts with the cackling Abraham of S3E9. Again, time skip.

“You believe you’re tools of destruction only because this is how your kind has always been used” is a very good line to associate to any Devil Forgemaster, though :) I like to imagine how Hector or Isaac would react to this.

While I still have some issues, Abraham reaches his peak in episode 6. He gives up his plans of revenge on Caesar, which is a shame as I would have liked to see them fight, but I understand that they wanted to confirm that Abraham holds no resentment in his heart anymore... if only that time skip didn’t happen. His fight against Carmilla is the stuff of legends <3 and then there is his long speech about the conclusion he reached from his journey: in short, he wants to live life. And I was touched, I really was. While I’m still irked by the time skip, it felt seriously cathartic, helped by the wonderful acting. Good for him :)

So, what was Abraham’s arc in the end? He’s a man who in the past went through a lot of pain and hardships, but is now peacefully living his life, until a person he deeply cares for gets killed and he’s unable to do anything to save them. Enraged and heartbroken, he sets himself on a destructive quest for revenge against the person who ruined his life, being an ultra competent, badass fighter and kicking ass left and right... but he meets kind people along the way, and he eventually learns to let go of his hatred. He also, after following Dracula for years and considering himself separate from humankind, realizes that he’s more than a tool: he has agency himself. He gains the strength to acknowledge that Dracula was wrong, leave him behind, and become his own person. He finally accepts his own humanity.

Wow, so peak, so raw, what a deep character arc! But... doesn’t it sound oddly familiar...?

Yeah.

I don’t want to hear a peep about how Hector is nothing more than a generic “badass”, if you then turn around and call Abraham one of the best characters in the franchise. All of you who love Abraham? You actually love Hector and you just don’t know it.

I’m not even touching the meta cruelty of taking Hector’s compelling character arc away from him and transplanting it into an OC that pretends to be Isaac, leaving a shell to be tortured in Hector’s place.

That final Abraham monologue touched me, but Hector had by far the most organic character arc, and it deserved to be properly depicted in the show.

(I could also compare his arc to Guts’, since Hector is basically a simplified version of Guts anyway lmao.)

(I will admit, though, that Abel kicked ass here, an excellent use of a very underutilized element of CoD)

Speaking of which...

~

I kept reading that Caesar became a Magnificent Bastard in this season, which absolutely baffled me: him? Magnificent?? No way. I can confirm now that this season felt like a long, long apology letter to how Caesar was written, because he’s suddenly sassy, demanding, has no patience for anything anymore, and came up with a clever scheme to take down the Council. I could actually start calling him Hector now.

By the second episode he’s already seen walking around and setting special stones in cracked walls. He’s depicted, for the first time in forever, in a dignified way, even blackmailing someone to get what he wants in a deal. In episode 6, she cages Lenore and flaunts that he was not to be trusted! He even cuts off his own finger to get rid of the ring, which is a super chad move! Yep, this is a new Caesar, everyone! I should be happy, right?

No. Well, okay, I am a bit, because he is genuinely badass and witty, but... You know what this is? This is the Netflixvania equivalent of that scene in Sonic Frontiers where Tails, out of nowhere, starts crying that he’s “wildly inconsistent” because recently (as in, in games penned by Pontaff) he hasn’t been at his best self. That scene, praised by everyone, was nothing more than Flynn smugly declaring that oh, he has fixed Tails, don’t you worry guys! I managed to make his badass decay intentional! Now, under my supervision, he’ll be the good ol’ Tails you always wanted! And I’m not happy about it, it feels too self-congratulatory and meta.

Lenore, on the other hand, is a brat. She’s childish, immature, always pouting, constantly swearing like an edgy teen girl, and nothing like her clever, elegant S3 self. See, it’s her turn to angst now, that she’s not needed anymore! I wish you weren’t, you horrible piece of shit.

Same for Caesar here. The change from “good boy” Caesar to “scheming sassy boy” Caesar is too sudden, and it happened off screen. Abraham even spells it out for us (because of course he does) that he knows that Caesar had no agency back then and was manipulated, a line so meta that I could see Ellis smiling to himself, and that’s why he holds no more contempt for him; Caesar himself years to make up for him mistakes. The six week time skip! I hate it! Why can’t we see Caesar grow a spine? I would have so loved it!

And then she peaces out in the finale because whoops, turns out that she doesn't like the life that she wanted to subject Caesar to! Remember the enslavement part? I'm not sure you do. At least phrase it like "I'm all alone, I miss my sisters, I've realized that I never did anything good in my life and maybe I never will", not "oh noes I'm in a cage :(".

If I can praise Lenore’s suicide for one thing, it’s how it was foreshadowed in S3, with her talk about not missing the sun as a vampire. That was a good parallel.

And I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room: Lenector.

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This is their first interaction in S4. Lenore acting like a spoiled brat out of nowhere, and Caesar indulging her dick jokes and talking to her as if they were an old married couple already. Later on, she even vents her personal issues to him, and most baffingly, Caesar cares so much about her that he begs Abraham to spare her, and says that he wants to spend time alone with her.

Dude.

What the fuck?

How can you go here when the last time we saw them, THIS happened?

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You can’t jump six weeks and go from “I made you into my pet” to this equally balanced, respectful dynamic!

No.

This is horrible. It looks like Caesar just forgot everything that happened. How con-fucking-venient.

And shut the fuck up Lenore I want to strangle you with your hair.

"You were the last problem I had to solve!"

"Yes, thanks again for that." *shows magic ring that enslaves him*

"Oh, shush. You were having fun."

"Right until the end."

I want to stab someone and then set them on fire. Great, let’s all joke about Caesar’s trauma of having a deep moment of vulnerability and weakness taken advantage of! It’s funny! One month and a half is enough to make it into a cute memory, right? Right? :’D

"I think [Carmilla] lied to me."

"Just like Dracula lied to me."

I can’t be the only one who can’t accept this no matter how well written the dialogues are (and they aren’t, Caesar has his good moments but Lenore is insufferable) because I keep screaming “YOU RAPED AND ENSLAVED HIM A MONTH AGO!!!”, right? Well... I guess I am, since Lenector is one hell of a popular ship :\

Look at this blatant attempt to connect them. I don’t know how else to convey my sheer rage.

"I'm sorry for everything you went through" oh like him being tortured by your sisters, you beating the shit out of him, and the whole raping and enslaving? :)

I have my problematic ships. I have quite a few fucked up ships, most of them involving power imbalance because I am weak for that. The thing is that, I like them because they are fucked up, and I don’t ignore that element to make the relationship cuter than it should be.

I never get the feeling that Lenector shippers acknowledge this part - in fact, I’ve seen plenty of people denounce S4 as bad because those two “deserved a happy ending”.

Uhm. No. They did not. Well, Caesar did, but Lenore sure deserved to suffer a little more. I don't buy her changing attitude from vampire enslaver to cute little girl who really cared about Caesar all along.

Oh, but apparently, Lenore never touched Caesar again after she put the ring on him! That's the general assumption, it seems. So that explains how Caesar is so buddy buddy with her :) that’s how it works, right?

So... This was season 4. I'm sorry this post feels so flaccid. While the finale was good, I'm just glad to be done. Watching the show was an utterly miserable experience, and I'm glad I had people keeping me company. At least now I have proper context for this very popular part of the franchise.

Bleah. Lenector is officially in my list of ships that squick me out. Get that away from me, my man deserves better. I'm so glad that in canon he finds two wonderful women who support him and make him realize he's worthy of love :)

~

As a final note, the decision to bring back Dracula and Lisa is... Why? What's the point? It nullifies their tragedy and I'm pretty sure this change fucks up the later timeline. Unless Dracula will just decide to kill humans for shit and giggles after Lisa's death? What excuse will they come up with in Nocturne to include him, if they will? This was just peak "Let's make everyone happy".

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Personal Take - IPKKND

(Navigate the Blog)

My IPK Story (how I started watching the show)

IPKKND

Official article on IPKKND

How IPK Spoke the Language of Sex

Thoughts on the initial promo

What was original IPKKND?

IPKKND & female gaze

My pet peeves for IPK

The Role of Religion in IPK Universe

Comparison between Beauty & The Beast and IPKKND

Appreciating IPK

Was it writing or acting that made IPK iconic?

Why IPKKND Is One of India’s  Finest Romantic Hindi Television Shows

THE POTENTIAL!!!

IPKKND and Tropes

English Fancasting IPKKND

What makes this show appealing to diverse viewers? 

IPKKND ft.Jalebi

#1 - Arnav, Anjali & Sheesh Mahal

Scenes

Reaction on Terrace Scene - Excellently Executed Tragedy

How the payoff should’ve been in IPKKND (of the misunderstanding)

Underutilized Moment

Sharp Decline in IPK Production Post Episode 200~

Characters

Why I thought Anjali faked a pregnancy in a fic

Arnav-Anjali Consistency

What song/s do you think would you dedicate to describe the IPK universe or the characters?

Track Rewrite

#1 - Shyam, Khushi, Terrace.

#2 - The Aftermath of Contract Marriage

#3 - The ‘Muh Dikhai’ Rasam

#4 - The ‘Lavanya Turns Desi’ Project

Khayal 

#1 - If Shyam only existed through Arnav & Khushi’s eyes

#2 - Arnav babua should’ve worn more athleisure

#3 - The Poolside

#4 - Tracks IPK Could’ve Had Post Shyam

IPKKND 3

Thoughts on IPKKND 3 and Mohra

(these are my personal takes on IPKKND)

[crusherthedoctor]

I agree with the Egg Robots. The Heroes ones were my favorite and definitely gave him a dedicated Aesthetic. Egg Pawns, E-2000, Falco, Klagen (Jellyfish Bot) Also flappers (those flying bots)

I wasn't knocking the Badniks. I love the Badniks, I love how much variety they have (especially compared to the G.U.N. robots, Black Arms, Iblis monsters, etc), and in any other scenario, I'd have no problem seeing so many of them from across different games reappear all together.

But their usage in IDW is a cynical ruse that's easy to see through; many of them stand in the background, and they serve no purpose other than for fans to gawk and credit the crew for being so knowledgeable about the games... even though, as we've seen so many times by this point via the comic's handling of the characters and overall universe, they either know jack shit or deliberately get shit wrong because Muh Archie. So it ends up coming off like a distraction from their true lack of know-how, and as someone who would normally love seeing them all there, it's like throwing sand in Cool Cat's my face.

The Egg Pawns are fine, and I like it when they have level-appropriate distinctions ala ShtH and Colours, but I wasn't keen on how they unofficially replaced the Badniks for the mainline games during the mid-00s. Colours got it right by having them side by side, which is also what I'm doing with them for Stellar.

[shrimpmandan]

okay but you forgot the part where sometimes it's literally just a preference. i didn't even mention having trauma with men myself, i simply want to date women and i'm allowed to exclude men from my dating pool if i like. i'm happy being bisexual. i often express attraction to men. just because not dating them is an active decision doesn't mean i'm unhealthy.

Most of the "you"s in my response were general, not specifically towards you as a person since I do not know who you are. The point stands that "muh trauma" is a shitty reasoning, and that's not gonna fly here.

And again: I've stated several times that preferences are inoffensive and fine. I've gone back and forth on preferring women and men (the 'bi-cycle') before settling on the fact that I just don't care in the grand scheme of things. I'm not calling you a weirdo for preferring to date women, I'm calling you a weirdo for making that a fundamental aspect of your identity when the SPECIFIC label of 'febfem' is associated with radfems, and also when literally no other demographic except a small group of mostly radfem women use the term.

AGAIN again: my mom is bisexual, she only dates and has mostly only ever dated men. She's fairly exclusive in her preference for men, especially in long-term relationships. She doesn't call herself a fucking "mebfem". Literally nobody outside of the internet is gonna understand what the hell you mean by "febfem" as opposed to you just saying "oh yeah I'm bisexual but I basically only date women jsyk", where it's actually relevant to mention.

Again I have literally ONLY seen bisexual women who prefer women make up a wholeass fucking label to differentiate themselves from other bisexual women under the pretense that dating men is "betraying" the WLW community. This is literally because the word "febfem" originated among radfems, who are NOTORIOUSLY biphobic, so that bi radfems could advertise themselves as "one of the good ones" for not dating men. There is a wholeass context to the word that you're either just missing or deliberately ignoring, but I find that hard to believe when you've already mentioned the radfem association. Fucking URBAN DICTIONARY acknowledges the radfem origins on some level, by mentioning that febfem is often a political thing.

Wikitionary also acknowledges the term as having gender critical origins, and goes on the double whammy of saying that it's specifically CIS women that febfems dedicate their exclusivity to. Because it's a radfem term. Just say you prefer women jesus christ lmao. The reason variations of the terms have never caught on with other demographics is because every other demographic thinks it's redundant, and frankly even most bisexual women I've met don't want that radfem association around them at all even if they do mostly/exclusively date one or the other. I don't know why you're so attached to this term that has nothing but garbage origins when you could quite literally JUST SAY "sorry, I'm only looking for women for a long-term relationship right now" if someone asks.

I literally don't give a single shit who you decide to date on a personal level. Most bisexuals I've met had some sort of preference or just straight-up more familiarity with one sex over the other. That's not what I'm taking issue with no matter how hard you're trying to frame it that way. I'm taking issue with a radfem term with radfem associations that explicitly involves either "trauma :(" or "politics lmao" as primary reasons for not dating men as opposed to people just being normal and. Y'know. NOT using the radfem term with radfem origins, just a thought.

Take a shot every time I said "radfem."

[resonette]

The amount of effort and dedication you put into Seren is so amazing. I always look forward to seeing your stuff on the dash, whether it is a study on Seren's character or the LND universe. <3 The way you write and express her through words is so lovely to read, and I continue to consume all dat good food. chef's kith. AND YOU ALSO SEEM SO NICE AND THE VIBES ARE IMMACULATE. ToT take muh love

(  why you're here , why you stay.  accepting.  ) @memovia

WAAAAAAAAAAH YOU ARE SO KIND i know this is so late but i've been ignoring my askbox for a few days but i hope you know this was SUCH a needed pick-me-up, the way YOU write and the way you involve all aspects of zay.ne's lore while also making him a muse that is inexplicably yours is something i admire!!!! i'm eating up ALL ur content for him as we speak (and also all of your other muses, even if i'm not familiar with them!!!!!!) gives u muh love back!!!!!

[nitesh-123n]

Learn Gujarati Greetings : Beginner's Guide

Ever felt the urge to explore a vibrant culture with a rich linguistic heritage? Well, look no further than Gujarati! Spoken by over 60 million people worldwide, this beautiful language is the heart and soul of Gujarat, a state in western India. But where do you even begin, you ask? Worry not, my friend, for this guide will be your stepping stone to mastering Gujarati greetings, the key to unlocking a world of warm hospitality.

The Sweet Sounds of Gujarati

Gujarati is a phonetic language, meaning pronunciation follows what you see! Unlike English, most letters have one sound, making it easier to pick up the basics. Start by familiarizing yourself with the Gujarati script. Resources like Hindustani Tongue can be your cheat sheet to mastering those lovely curves and twirls.

2. Kem Chho? – The Universal Gujarati Hello

This delightful phrase (pronounced "kem [kuh] cho") literally translates to "how are you?" but functions more like a general greeting. It's perfect for any situation, from meeting your friendly neighborhood grocer to chatting with a fellow traveler.

3. Aapne (aapni) Kem Chho? – Mind Your Manners

Gujarati, like many Indian languages, places emphasis on respect. When addressing someone older or someone you don't know well, use "aapne" (masculine) or "aapni" (feminine) before "kem chho." This adds a touch of formality and shows courtesy.

4. Majama Chhe? – Keeping it Casual with Friends

For your close friends and peers, ditch the formalities and switch to "majama chhe?" (pronounced "mah-jah-mah keh"). This translates to "are you good?" and creates a more relaxed vibe.

5. Beyond Hello – A Spice Rack of Greetings

Gujarati boasts a colorful array of greetings for different times of day. In the morning, a bright "shubh saaver" (pronounced "shoobh sah-ver") conveys good morning wishes. Afternoon calls for a warm "su madhyan" (pronounced "soo muh-dhee-ahn"), meaning "good afternoon." As the sun sets, greet folks with a sweet "shaam sunder" (pronounced "shaam soon-der"), translating to "pleasant evening."

6. Action Speaks Louder Than Words – The Art of Namaste

For a truly immersive experience, don't forget the graceful "namaste." Place your palms together in a prayer-like position, bow slightly, and say "namaste." This traditional greeting embodies respect and conveys a sense of inner peace.

7. Abhinandan! – The Joy of the Journey

Learning Gujarati is a rewarding adventure. Embrace the stumbles, celebrate the victories, and most importantly, have fun! With a little dedication and these handy greetings under your belt, you'll be well on your way to charming the hearts of Gujarati speakers around the world. So, what are you waiting for? Dive in, say "namaste," and embark on your Gujarati odyssey!

[alice-chan-chan]

Dazai Osamu + traditional wear

- dedicated to @eien-misui-ni-goodbye (◠‿◠✿)

[caliginouscreature]

If you may have a fictotype, how do you tell your “noemata” apart from strongly-held headcanons or projecting?

Psychological nonhumanity is a hot topic for all kinds of debates and discussions, and understandably so.  There’s tons of room for variation, and infinite possible reasons and presentations for it from copinglinking to fictherianthropy.  But with non/alterhumanity of any origin, lack of “memories” is a known struggle with those wondering whether or not they may “count” (and is something I intend to dedicate a separate post to talking about later).  This is where a new community term, “noema” (pronounced “no-ee-muh”), was introduced to possibly fill in an area of ambiguity left in the wake of such worries.  It’s a term left rather vague on purpose, making it useful for describing many kinds of feelings.

It is often described as feeling like “just knowing” something about your ’type, whether it’s something about their body, past, home, opinions... could be anything!  But, in some circumstances, how can you tell the difference between true noemata, and fan theories one has dwelled upon so long and hard that they just “feel right”?  Can you trick yourself into thinking you “just know” something by forgetting how long you’ve actually thought about it?  Is “feeling right” all it can take to count?

In this thinking-out-loud post, I’d like to point at the character of Snufkin from the Moomins franchise-- a character who seems like a great example to use due both to how I myself find him relatable, and how I’ve seen other Moomins fans receive and interpret him through fan content.

Isn’t he spiffy!

There is no other fandom I’ve yet been in where so many of the fans (at least in the english-speaking one, that I myself was in) had never actually interacted with the bulk of the source material.  Sure, some watched the ’90s anime on youtube, but large quantities of fans never touched the books or comics (even those that have official english versions, pirated or not), or sometimes even only got their material through fanart and fanfic.  A quantifiable amount of english-language Moomins fanworks from around 2019 are going off of nothing but what “feels right”.

Now, this isn’t just me looking for an excuse to whine about the shallowness of the Moomins fandom, or me trying to invalidate people who don’t really interact with the sources of their ’types.  But in my opinion, it’s a comparison I can’t help but make.  How far can you basically just go off of vibes?  How do you know what counts?

It’s like, fascinatingly easy to get your brain used to a certain headcanon.  Even some diehard Moomins fans-- ones who actually do go to the trouble of digging up and consuming obscure canon material-- could admit it’s easy to forget that Snufkin isn’t confirmed to be canonically transgender.  “Trans Snufkin” is an extremely popular headcanon in the english Moomins fandom, and most who hold it, myself sometimes included, would tell you it’s because it simply “feels right”.  It’s to the point that many consider it a vital part of how they write and read Snufkin!

Projecting onto a character you see a bit of yourself in is also pretty easy to do, by accident or otherwise.  Most Moomins fans I see doing this do it with Moomintroll, but it’s arguably even more obvious when it’s done with Snufkin.  I once saw a fic (which I won’t link, so as not to possibly get them teased), which the author admitted was written as a form of vent art, where Snufkin hated coffee... but if you read Comet in Moominland, where Snufkin is introduced, one of the very first things he ever says is asking for coffee, he likes it so much!  Something similar goes for fics that make Snufkin speak any swear words, a thing he is confirmed to dislike.  How much of this is active self-indulgence, and how much is due to it “feeling right” to the author?  I try and notice when I may be projecting on a character or not, because I find it to be useful in my work, but we can’t all be so self-aware (and who knows, I may be less self-aware than I think!).

Back to fictotypy... I am well aware that one’s ’type ID isn’t always going to be a 1:1 to how it is in canon.  To compare the phenomenon to fictives, I’ve met multiple manifestations of the same character across different systems, and none of them are identical (even if there are multiple fictives of the same character within one system!)!  If someone turns out to be a Snufkin, and they can’t force themself to like coffee, that doesn’t make them any less a Snufkin.  They may just be a Snufkin from an adaptation where his opinions on coffee are unclear, or a Snufkin from an AU!  ... or maybe they just hate coffee that much, hehe.

But how can a Snufkin-- or someone who may be of any character/species ID-- tell their possible noemata apart from some other similar non-noemata thing?  When I come to a “headcanon” or “interpretation” of something from fiction, it often feels like a process of going “Hey, it’d be cool or interesting if...” or “It could make sense that...” and then pondering and scanning canon material to possibly back it up so that it can sound legit enough to not ping as OOC to an onlooker (at least if I explain it, depending).  Ponder any of these long enough, and they can wind up “feeling right”, in a way, even if I took an active role in figuring out how they might work and know they may not be truly canon. Are my numerous theories and headcanons about the species that the Groke belongs to that have little-to-no canon backup the result of me being very autistic and having an immense passion for worldbuilding, or could their combination of how I relate to the Groke herself make them evidence of noemata for a possible ID?  When I get offended if Snufkin is written or treated a certain way in fanworks, is it just me being a stickler for canon compliance and feeling hurt when traits in him I relate to are demonized, or could it also be a sign I may be a Snufkin?  I’m already pleased that I look a bit like him in real life, but I’m not sure I feel if I am a Snufkin, as it’s not really as intense a desire as some of my other possible IDs... folks argue that such IDs need not be intense or constant and can be experienced casually, but how can I tell the difference?

When, as beings with human brains wired to delight in such pattern recognition and ascribing meanings to the like, can anyone tell the difference?  How do I tell my noemata apart from what may just be thoughts about my possible IDs that I like to have?  As someone who’s questioning several possible IDs and is uncertain about ’most all of them, it’s hard for me to know the differences that define this.

A fun little question to any artists with ’types from fiction, to close this post off with: When you write or draw fanart of the character or species you may ID with to post in public, do you base their interpretation off of what you feel are your noemata, or do you tend to lean more to what will be more definitely canon-compliant?  Why or why not?  If you do the latter, does it make you question your ““validity””?  Is making fanworks of your ID a pretty personal experience, or is it more of a separate thing you can do for fun?  Does it vary?