#deceased wrestlers

[thecreativemillennial]

The hell tna put this poor woman and the effect it had on her mental health. May she rest in peace

.

[blowflyfag]

WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT/FEDERATION MAGAZINE: OCTOBER 1996

MOMMY? Is the Mystery of Mankind Beginning to Unravel?

A Special Report By the Informer

IS GOLDUST MANKIND’S MOMMY?

You read that right! I’m on the verge of breaking the hottest scoop of the century… I think!!! Even though my reputation may be on the line, this is just to JUICY to pass up!!!

OK, are you ready? My eyes and ears have told me, the Informer, that not only is Mankind living in the basement of Goldust’s Hollywood estate, BUT the “bizarre one” actually has the “dementated soul” under his complete control! How you asked? Perhaps by having him convinced that he is… his long lost… MOMMY!!! NORMAN BATES, MOE OVER!!! This situation makes the relationship between you and your deceased mother look like Mrs. Cleaver and the Beav!!!

I must say that at first I, the Informer, didn’t even believe it myself. Goldust and Mankind? RuPaul and Hannibal Lector? COME ON!!! Can you imagine the conversation over a cup of expresso?

“Mankind, what do you think  of my new wig?”

“Oh, I think it’s lovely. But, it would look even better… WITH THE HAIR PULLED OUT OF IT!!!”

Talk about an odd couple? They would make Feliz and Oscar look like the Olsen twins!!! But wait, let’s not be so hasty with our judgments. Let’s stop and ask ourselves this question: Beneath it all… are they “really” that different? Is it possible that there might be more similarities than they would want us to believe? Let’s look a bit more closely, shall we?

First and foremost, it is a fact that Goldust and Mankind are loners. They have no friends… nor do they want any. As a matter of fact, much of their companionship actually takes place “inside” the ring, rather than “outside”. True, Holdust does have Marlena, but first of all she is of the opposite sex… we think. And second, their relationship is of a business nature, not personal…. We think. Mankind, on the other claw, is definitely friendless. That is unless you consider George, his rat who by the way I’ve heard died recently. However, just because he’s dead doesn't necessarily mean that he’s not still Mankind’s best friend, by any stretch of the imagination! Now the psyches of Goldust and Mankind are comparable in various ways. Both are masters of the mind game… in their own “special” way, of course. Where Goldust likes to frolic within the psychologically bizarre realm of sexuality, Mankind takes a more strait-jacketed approach. He likes to come off as being just plain nuts. Both live in fantasy worlds–Goldust in the lights, camera and action of La-La Land… Mankind in his safe haven known as the boiler room. They both offer very unique and mysterious backgrounds. The truth is–we know very little about either individual, largely due to the fact that neither has told us anything! What “really” makes Goldust tick? Did something happen in his childhood that sent him to super-bizarredom? Does he have any legitimate acting experience? If not, how the heck did he get himself on the red carpet area on Oscar night? And Mankind? Now here’s a jigsaw puzzle that lacks a straight border. The music, the claw, the mask, the cellar, the… MOMMY?

MOMMY… here’s where the mystery begins. If you don’t already know by now, Goldust and Mankind wrestled as a tag team at some house shows back in the late summer, early fall. The Bizarre and the Demented. OK, nothing wrong with that. Sometimes wrestlers do team up even though they may have nothing in common. Case in point–the opponents of this troubled team were none other than the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and everybody’s favorite dead man, the Undertaker. Now here’s the wacky part–weeks prior to the match, Goldust and Mankind were cutting a couple of interviews talking about the upcoming matches. Keep in mind these interviews only ran in the markets where the matches were taking place. In other words… only a few people saw them. Anyway, through the entire cuts, Mankind was referring to Goldust as… MOMMY. You got that? MOMMY! But wait, it gets even sicker! The three of us–me and my own two eyes–witnessed Mankind actually BURYING HIS HEAD IN GOLDUST’s BOSOM in search of some peace, love, and understanding!!!

Now you tell me, kitty-cats, what the H-E… double toothpicks is going on here?!!! Has Goldust outpsyched the psycho into believing that he’s his… MOMMY?! OR is this just another chapter in their well-scripted psychology handbook? What do you think? Do you think I know? WELL, I MIGHT!!!

The following day after this goose-bumping incident, my top informer informed me, the Informer, that SON has moved into MOTHER’S mansion!!! That’s right! They share the same CELLAR!!! Now this shocking detail has in no way, shape or form been confirmed yet. HOWEVER, I was told just last night by the GREAT (his opinion, not the Informer’s) VIC VENOM, the next month… in this very magazine,,, he plans on bringing you inside the mansion of Goldust in his exclusive “Lifestyles of the Rich and Filthy Rich”! So now the question is will Venom be the reporter he says he is and take us in the cellar of the Goldust estate so that we can find out the truth for ourselves? OR will snake breath slither out of the entire situation by keeping the basement door LOCKED?!

Tune in next month!!! Until next time…this has been the Informer.

THIS JUST IN!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!!! AS OF PRESS TIME, I HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE COME CLEAN WITH MANKIND! A SOURCE INFORMED ME, THE INFORMER, THAT GOLDUST MAY HAVE RECENTLY EXPLAINED TO MANKIND THAT HE INDEED IS NOT HIS MOMMY, BUT… SABLE IS!!! 

THIS STORY JUST GETS WEIRDER BY THE MINUTE!!!

STAY TUNED!!!

[danithewhich]

Sandor Clegane Headcanon

So, I remember in the early days of ASOIAF/GOT shipping, a lot of fanfic writers used Roman Reigns (the WWE wrestler) as their headcanon Sandor Clegane:

Listen, I am not opposed to this. The man is GORGEOUS. But recently, someone else has taken over my headcanon for Sandor Clegane... May I present, Drew McIntyre (also WWE wrestler):

Like. COME ON! Btw, he is billed at 6' 5" and is SCOTTISH. BRB, I am DECEASED. Please Sansan community, join me in the fuckery.

[wrestlingfaves]

Royal Rumble Marathon: 1996

We’re rumbling into 1996.

Spoilers for past Rumbles.

Sunny, from her bathtub, warns us viewer indiscretion is advised. The Attitude Era doesn’t officially begin until 1997 but hints of it began way back in 1995 with the Pamela Anderson skit and continues with Sunny’s vignettes.

The undercard:

Jeff Jarrett vs Ahmed Johnson. Meh.

The Bodydonnas (Chris Candido/Tom Prichard, accompanied by Sunny) vs the Smoking Guns (Billy & Bart) for the WWF Tag Team titles. More meh.

Billionaire Ted skit with a fake Hogan, Savage, and Mean Gene. We’re wasting pay per view time on this?

Recap of the Razor Ramon – Goldust feud. Mr Machismo doesn’t appreciate Golddust’s flirtations.

Golddust (accompanied by Marlena) vs Razor Ramon for the Intercontinental title. Was this Terri Runnel’s debut for the WWF? The commentators refer to Marlena as an “unknown woman”. Golddust and Marlena’s gimmicks are forerunners to the Attitude Era. Marlena causes a distraction as the 1-2-3 Kid attacks Razor, allowing Dustin to pin Ramon and become the new Intercontinental champion.

Hype vignettes for Royal Rumble participants: Owen, Jake Roberts, Jerry Lawler, Vader, Shawn,

For the first time the Rumble does not end the pay per view – we still have a Bret/Taker match for the World championship. I never like when the Rumble itself doesn’t end the pay per view.

The entrants, in order of appearance:

Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Henry Godwin

Bob Backlund

Jerry Lawler

Bob “Spark Plug” Holly

Mabel (accompanied by Mo) Mo remains at ringside – there doesn’t seem to be year to year consistency on whether seconds are allowed to remain at ringside.

Jake “the Snake” Roberts

Dory Funk Jr (Vince notes Terry was also invited but is watching the ppv from Germany)

Yokozuna

1-2-3 Kid (spends his first few minutes in the Rumble attempting to avoid an angry Razor)

Takao Omori (Vince actually mentions All-Japan by name!)

Savio Vega (formerly known as Kwang)

Vader (accompanied by Jim Cornette)

Doug Gilbert (Henning & Vince mention both USWA and Eddie Gilbert, Doug won a tournament in Memphis to qualify for the tournament)

Squat Team Member #1 (1/2 of the Headshrinkers)

Squat Team Member #2 (1/2 of the Headshrinkers)

Owen Hart

Shawn Michaels

Hakushi

Tatanka

Aldo Montoya

Diesel

Kama

“The Ringmaster” Steve Austin

Barry Horowitz

Fatu

Isaac Yankem, DDS

Marty Janetty

Davey Boy Smith

Duke Droese

 Winner: Shawn Michaels

Longest performance: Hunter Hearst Helmsley

First-time Rumblers: Hunter, Dory Funk Jr, 1-2-3 Kid, Omori, Vader, Doug Gilbert, the Headshrinkers, Hakushi, Aldo Montoya, Steve Austin, Barry Horowitz, Isaac Yankem

Surprise Entrants: Dory Funk, Omori, Doug Gilbert, the Headshrinkers

We have two “clear the ring without eliminating everyone” spots: Henry Godwin with his slop bucket (Backlund and Lawler are the recipients) and Jake Roberts using Damian (his snake) – Lawler gets covered with Damian. Was Lawler on someone’s shit list?

Vader does the “eliminate everyone” spot but as he was previously eliminated none of his eliminations count.

Lawler is the first participant in a Rumble to hide under the ring.

1996 is the first year all participants receive entrance music. Finally! A small thing but it adds to the presentation.

The pay-per-view ends with Bret Hart vs the Undertaker (accompanied by Paul Bearer).   Diesel causes a disqualification, costing Taker the match. The match was fine but I’m not a fan of Taker.

Interviews with Gorilla Monsoon, Shawn, Diesel, Vader, and Jim Cornette.

Rating: 4 out of 10

Wrestlers and others who have passed on: Howard Finkel, Curt Hennig, Chris Candido, Razor Ramon, Mable (Visera), Yokozuna, Vader, Owen, Paul Bearer, Gorilla Monsoon

Total number of deceased individuals: 10 (down 5 from the previous Rumble).

[mjfass]

After the segment with Nick, I feel like at AEW they should have a guardian for every wrestler whose dad is deceased. If the guardian leaves them alone, Christian Cage will them and insult them and say things like “say hi to your mom for me”.

[disturbnot]

“Rules”: repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. If you fail to achieve some of the facts, feel free to add some other of your own! When you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same! STEAL THIS MEME

THE BASICS

Name: Ash Satoshi Ketchum Age: 38 Birthdate: 22nd May 1986 Species: Human (with a very large question mark) Gender: Cis male Orientation: Gay Profession: Pokémon trainer; world champion (part-time), Pallet House barkeep/line cook (part-time). Chosen one and pokémon whisperer (full-time).

PHYSICAL FEATURES

Hair: Black, reflecting teal hues in some lights. grey hair at the temples. thick, soft in texture. almost fluffy. Eyes: Vivid brown; molten amber. Skin: Tanned, tattooed on both upper arms and his back. Head-scratchingly free of scarring. Height: 6' 1" / 185cm Weight: 220 lbs / 100 kg; built for strength, endurance, and eating one hell of a lot; very muscular beneath a soft layer of fat.

FAMILY

Siblings: None by blood. Raichu is his brother in bond. Parents: Delia Ketchum (mother, landlady of Pallet House), Tony Ketchum (trainer, missing as of winter 1991, presumed dead). Grandparents: Kazuko Toyoshima (maternal grandmother, decased), Elite Siba 'Bruno' (maternal grandfather, fighting master), Zaniyah Ketchum (paternal grandmother, Anahua region guardian), Robert Ketchum (paternal grandfather, deceased as of 1979). Other Relatives: Necalli Ketchum (paternal uncle, Anahuan artist & tattooist), Ella Ketchum (aunt by marriage, Kalia region gym leader), Yolotli Vargas (paternal aunt, Anahuan anthropologist and archaeologist), Ixchel Vargas (cousin, fashion model), Rafa Ketchum (cousin, exploudcloud rapper), Professor Kukui (father figure/uncle, Alolan professor and wrestler), Professor Burnet (aunt figure, Alolan professor), Rei (cousin).

SKILLSET

A legendary pokémon battler, known for his creativity, ability to improvise, and be generally unpredictable; Ash also has a knack for getting completely in tune with most pokémon. Tried and tested wilderness survivor, knows how to mountaineer, build a damn good campfire, and at one point he even knew how to astronavigate before things started getting... well, that's another story for later. Ash is also a passable cook, having been taught by his mother, and although Ash lacks his father's virtuosity, he is reasonably competent at playing guitar and harmonica, as well as having a naturally pleasant singing voice.

Ash has also fostered a whole variety of other aura-based skills and powers, but maybe ... I will keep all of that for its own lore dump. :)

TRAITS

Positive: Kind, independent, curious, generous, selfless, passionate, imaginative. Negative: Reckless, occasionally obsessive, impulsive, lacks self-discipline. Neutral: Defiant, stubborn, deeply sentimental, irreverent, sarcastic.

LIKES

Colors: Ocean blue, deep red, pine green. Smells: Still night air, ocean breeze, woodsmoke, food sizzling over a fire, the electrical smell of Raichu's fur, the aromas of a matsuri late at night, his laundry when his mom does it. Textures: The duvet interior of a good sleeping bag, the ambient buzzing sensation of stroking Raichu's staticky fur, Rapidash fire, Lugia's hide when dry, cool glass or metal, warm skin, holo-touchscreens, fresh dough. Drinks: Water, beer, hot chocolate, Kantonian whisky.

EXTRA DETAILS

Smokes?: Plenty. Drugs: Just weed. Driver License: Yes, but I don't think he's driven in well over a decade. He prefers to sit and chill in his dad's old car, completely stationary. Been Arrested?: You know it.

[animebw]

Re: oshi no ko fans,

What'd they do?

Yeah, I guess I should probably give some context to that statement.

So, for those not keeping up with Oshi no Ko, last week's episode featured a plotline where a character on a reality dating show is swarmed with cyberbullying after a minor dust-up, and it escalates so badly that she tries to commit suicide. It's a brutally effective episode that really captures the horror of online abuse, the almost addictive masochism of scrolling through comment after comment calling for your death and dragging your name through the mud. It's easily the best Oshi no Ko has been, and I will stand by that opinion despite how messy things are going to get in the rest of this post.

See, this plotline doesn't just a wholly fictional exploration of online abuse; it has a very direct real life inspiration. Shortly after the manga started publishing, Japanese wrestler Hana Kimura committed suicide following a chain of events very much like this. She was on a reality show, she had a minor altercation with a fellow contender, and she was bombarded with online abuse until she took her own life. It's likely Akasaka already had the general idea for this plotline sketched out before this event, but the connections are so specific that it's pretty clear this real-life event influenced how it played out in the story. And in the anime at least, some of the mean comments the character gets are lifted wholesale from comments Kimura received during her harassment. So clearly, Oshi no Ko is pulling on this real life tragedy to further its themes of darkness in the entertainment industry and how it affects people.

The problem is, Kimura's mom isn't happy about it.

See, apparently no one- nobody working on the manga or the anime- thought to ask Kimura's family if it was okay to use their tragic circumstances as part of their narrative. Nobody bothered to check if it maybe might be a little insensitive to drag out the corpse of a dead girl for an edgy reincarnation revenge idol drama without asking that girl's parents if they were okay with it. So the mom did an interview where she expressed her anger at the whole thing, and how her daughter was essentially being used as "free source material," which, yeah, seriously, how the fuck did nobody check with her before this went to air? I don't care how good your intentions are or how excellent the finished product turned out, you do not use the real words and comments that drove a girl to suicide without getting the go-ahead from her family first. She even mentioned that a friend of hers watched the episode without knowing its content beforehand and it basically triggered all those traumatic memories all over again. It's just really fucking ugly all around.

Now, the whole point of the episode in question is about how terrible online harassment is and how you should never toss mean words around online so thoughtlessly, because you could be hurting people in ways you can't possibly understand. So you'd think that Oshi no Ko fans, being faced with this very understandable anger from someone with more stake in this mess than any of them either well, would take the situation with grace and try to reach an understanding. You'd think they'd try to have the kind of compassion in discussing this difficult subject that Kimura and the character inspired by her never got.

If only.

Now, to be clear, it's not like the entire Oshi no Ko fanbase ganged up on Kimura's mother. Plenty of people took the situation in stride and treated it fairly. But even just on the English speaking side of the internet, I've already seen way too many people becoming exactly the kind of mindless hate mob the show portrayed in that critical episode. And while I can't speak for the Japanese side, people who keep up with Japanese online spaces have confirmed there's harassment going on over there too. People saying she's only doing this for attention (gee it's almost like HER DAUGHTER'S DEATH IS BEING USED WITHOUT HER CONSENT), she shouldn't complain because it's raising awareness about cyberbullying (which totally justifies cyberbullying her in response, naturally), even claiming the arc totally wasn't inspired by Kimura's circumstances and it was just a coincidence the storyline released around the same time. Which is funny, because I distinctly remember when the episode first came out I saw tons of people praising how it took inspiration from Kimura's circumstances and how it was totally speaking to real life events so you had to take it seriously. But now Kimura's mother comes out saying she's upset with how it was handled, and suddenly those same people are going "Uuuuuuh actually it's just a coincidence, if you think it's intentional you're stupid."

I mean, if I didn't know better, I'd say it's almost like they never actually cared about the message. Like they only wanted to use the shiny coat of real-life tragedy to massage their own egos for liking Good(tm), Serious(tm) works of fiction that talk about Real(tm) Issues(tm), only to discard that talking point when it no longer suited their narrative. I might even call them a bunch of worthless cunts who care about protecting themselves from even the mildest emotional discomfort and moral uncertainty more than they give a damn about anyone else's genuine struggles with actual issues far beyond what any of these fuckweasels will ever have to face. Hell, if I was feeling particularly spicy, I might even connect this bullshittery to my criticisms of Oshi no Ko as a whole and point out how despite its thin veneer of deep societal criticism, this show really is the kind of vapid, pandering edge-masquerading-as-depth spectacle that presents just enough illusion of substance for people to feel smart for watching it without actually challenging them to leave their comfort zone of an "edgy" male antihero saving the day and making all the cute girls fall for him, thus attracting the exact same kind of insincere, cowardly fanbase that reacts to the slightest real challenge to their sense of self-righteousness by become the exact kind of monster the story they supposedly adore was trying to warn them against.

But that's probably unfair to all the normal, perfectly well-adjusted Oshi no Ko fans who don't deserve to be lumped in with this vocal minority of losers. So I'll call it a day here. Bottom line, ask before you use a real person's misery for Content(tm), don't be a dick when people criticize the fiction you enjoy, and online harassers can go suck on an exhaust pipe.

[jupiterjunebug]

i like how on the nooj website everyones profiles are in black and white until you mouse over them, unLESS theyre someone that doesnt have a profile, in which case theyre always in color.

This has the side effect of making it look as though every wrestler who has ever performed in New Japan Pro Wrestling is tragically deceased, aside from Nic Nemeth, Matt Riddle, and Stephanie Vaquer. Please pay your respects.

[eldritchaccident]

Timing: A long long time ago Location: in a country far far away Feat: @faustianbroker & @eldritchaccident Warnings: None! Summary: An eight year old Teddy prepares a special breakfast for Levi on the anniversary of their adoption.

— 1996, Vancouver, Canada —

The first few years were…. A lot of getting used to new things. On both sides, the small child and the demon’s. The pact that had been made had some rather interesting side effects. More than making the boy immortal, it seemed to impart a bit of a familial tether between them. As time passed, the bond grew. And Teddy got stronger. Stranger. More and more like the demon that was taking care of him now and less like the humans who had actually created him. He still generally bore a face that resembled the very deceased Lydia Jones, but eyes that mirrored something that one might see on his new papa. Well. When the pair of them weren’t playing human.

Turns out, human children require a lot of human interaction. Even ones that weren’t entirely human anymore. Food, entertainment, education. All that sort of stuff. He wasn’t demon enough that he could fully survive in the Leviathan’s dimension yet, at least not fully. But that didn’t seem to be that big of an issue. Teddy, for his part, took to his new caretaker quite well. In fact, he seemed to thrive with the demon’s parenting style. He could learn as much as his little brain would absorb, and do just about anything he wanted. It was great.

The Joneses (as the Leviathan had just assumed the identity of Charles Jones at this point) had moved around a lot. In no small part due to the little demon. Uncontrolled flashes of power, suspicious townies, then a few dead bodies to cover it all up, the uszhe. Through it all Teddy was a proper beacon of radiance and joy. He had it all. A papa who paid attention to him, and so many new things to explore. He was more than happy to make a game of it. Which they often did when the more… adult reasons for moving came up. 

It was the anniversary of his ‘adoption’ and Teddy was determined to surprise his papa this time. He’d even gone out all on his own and gotten a whole mess of ingredients to make something special. A platter of pancakes fit for a sumo wrestler. The flavors were… inventive to say the least. Shrimp and mango, with sprinkles and chocolate syrup. Even better than last year. The little chef stood on his little stepping stool in the kitchen of the house they’d taken over since moving to this city. The whole place kind of looked like a bomb went off. He was covered head to toe in the viscera of a baking adventure gone wrong. But nothing could hide that big toothy smile as he heard the footsteps rounding down the stairs. 

“SURPRISE!!!” 

—

For all the time Leviathan had spent striking deals with humans, the demon had never put much effort into learning about them. Not recently, anyway—things had been a lot more simple several centuries ago. The knocks on his door were much more frequent several centuries ago, but the clientele had been more palatable. Self–proclaimed witches, for the most part, who regarded the greater demon with the respect it deserved. Not like Lydia Jones, misinterpreter of the century. Not only did she die for her insolence, but she released upon the world a powerful creature that had no moral compass to speak of, all because it thought raising a little human raisin might be fun. 

But it was challenging, too, when situations arose that Leviathan didn’t know how to navigate. Adopting an identity was not as easy as all that, and explaining a missing wife was even harder. They had quickly moved away from Washington, away from anyone who might know that this thing was not Chuck Jones—and since when did Charles start going by Chuck? There were many questions and none of them had proper answers, which always led to bodies. Coverups. Another move. But Leviathan didn’t mind. It was fun. 

Three years had gone by and the demon’s grasp on the modern world was improving, but still left something to be desired. One net positive, though, was that it had no reference for what human food was supposed to taste like, no understanding of what were ‘good’ and ‘bad’ flavor combinations, so Teddy was graced with a palate so unrefined that it genuinely enjoyed his questionable creations. The demon had heard the little one get out of bed early that morning, heard him rustle around in his bedroom for a while before trotting downstairs and letting himself outside. He was only eight years old, but that was no reason for Leviathan to stop him going out on his own to do whatever it was he had schemed last night. So the demon purposefully lounged around in bed, waiting to hear its ward return and set up the surprise he’d thrown together. An interesting smell was wafting up the stairs, and after about forty minutes or so of patient self-control, Leviathan finally left the bedroom and began the trek downstairs.

The shout of joy from the child brought a smile to his lips, and as he stepped through the threshold into the kitchen, he threw his hands up in the air. “What! What’s this?!” Beaming, the demon took the terrible mess in perfect stride, not minding it nearly as much as a proper parent might’ve. “Oh me oh my, what have we dreamt up this time, tadpole?” he asked as he scooped the child up into his arms, giving him a tight squeeze as he sized up the mountain of flapjacks. “Is that shrimp? You know that’s one of my favorites!”

—

Teddy squirmed with delight as his papa picked him up. Scrambling and doing his absolute damndest to be hard to hold on to. As was their custom. “I got you!!!” Like a little monkey, he climbed from Leviathan’s arms to his back, dangling dangerously by his knobbly little knees that hooked him in place over his papa’s shoulders like the great demon was a jungle gym. “There’s a even specialer surprise inside!” Teddy beamed, any brighter and it surely would have actually illuminated the room. With a swift and easy motion, the kind that only little scamps can really muster, he righted himself, sitting atop Levi’s shoulders and leaning over to his face. Just enough to place a large wet raspberry on their forehead. 

The food was tradition. Obviously. Just about as soon as he was allowed, the little demon took a shine to cooking. There was so much joy and wonder in the art of mashing things together in the hopes of creating something new. Novel. Delicious. Though, anyone outside the Jones household would likely have a hard time with the choices young Ted made. The Leviathan was a big ancient sea creature, so that clearly meant there had to be something from the ocean in each dish. That’s how it worked. He was pretty sure of it anyway. Fish eat Fish. He certainly grew a taste for it the more his powers came in. Maybe sea demons were just like that. 

Speaking of powers, the surprise inside was the real one. The one he’d been fretting over in secret for the last month or so. Making sure everything was just right. He really wanted to impress his papa. Inside the mountain of pancakes was a simple mason jar. But the contents were what was important.

One whole human soul.  

— 

Playfully pushing Teddy’s head aside after the raspberry was gifted to him, Leviathan swiped a hand over his forehead and laughed, gaze still fixed on the pile of pancakes. Another surprise inside? With a huff, he grasped Teddy beneath his arms and lifted the boy off his shoulders, setting him back down beside him. “Alright, well, I’m not sure what else can top shrimp and mango, but let’s see this surprise.” Getting down a couple plates for them and passing one to Teddy, Levi was meticulous over which flapjacks he chose, curiosity winning over as he bee-lined for the middle of the heap.

Soon enough, the silver lid was revealed. The demon gave a bemused grunt and reached for it, lifting the mason jar free of its delicious jail cell. It was a little smudged with chocolate syrup, but the bright, pearlescent, soupy smoke that swirled within it was unmistakable. 

“Teddy,” Leviathan breathed, setting his plate aside to stare down at the jar in his hands. “Teddy, this is—” He looked at the boy, pride swelling in his chest. “Did you get this all by yourself?”

—

Giddy with anticipation, the boy was practically vibrating by the time his papa made it to the jar. He nodded vigorously at the question, his own chest bursting with the shared pride. “Rem’ber mister Anderson? How he asked me to help out raking the leaves? Well I wrote up a contract and he didn’t read it too clearly.” Teddy sang the last part, thrilled by his own cleverness. The man across the street probably just thought the kid was being cute. Just like his papa, he’d added. Sugary sweet, earnest, and warm as the morning sun in the middle of summer. It wasn’t like the older gentleman actually knew what papa did for a living. What sort of contracts would be written up. And how binding they could be. 

Leaves were raked, rituals performed. And now Mr. Anderson was out one soul. The young demon wasn’t a hundred percent certain what would happen to the old man after but that didn’t matter nearly as much as the look on Levi’s face right now. Besides, if people were dumb enough not to read the terms and conditions, it was their own fault right? That’s what the price of dealing with a demon was. You set your own trap and fall into it by your own hubris. Teddy was becoming quite the clever little contractor. This was their first foray into taking a soul but there’d been others. Plenty of kids at the park were happy to trade the ‘good snacks’ for all sorts of things. Half of them didn’t even realize what they were giving away. But to the transient princeps of the playground all that mattered was the collection. The game they played and won without really needing anyone else’s input. It wasn’t like the other kids really ever understood ‘im anyway. 

“Is it a good one?” 

—

The boy had been taking notes. While Leviathan hadn’t actually taught him firsthand anything about making contracts just yet—it was part of the plan, though the demon had assumed that would be a little too advanced for him just yet—clearly Teddy was paying attention. Already fairly well versed with his verbal binds, it seemed he’d graduated to his first written deal. The demon couldn’t be more proud.

“It’s a really good one,” Levi confirmed, twisting to grab a towel from the handle of the oven and using it to clean the jar off. This one wouldn’t join the rest in his stockpile, no—ulterior motives be damned. This was a moment to treasure, and you never spent your best treasure. “Where do you want to display it, tadpole?”

—

A cat couldn't hold a candle to the delighted smug look on the child's face. Teddy hummed a happy little tune as he took one of the plates and started to dig in. "Hadn't really thought of that part, megalodon." Of course, that old ancient shark couldn't actually compare at all to the best of all beasts, the ancient eldritch boss of bosses. But Teddy had been going through a bit of a dinosaur phase. So the nickname stuck. Even if little Ted did think Leviathan was far better than any of them. 

Each night they asked for stories. And went to sleep dreaming of his courageous, brilliant, strong, witty, handsome and extremely humble demon dad. It was like he had his own personal superhero. Why would he ever need anything else? 

[peterfour]

Truth be told... I don't know how Aunt May put up with me.

► GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME & ALIAS: peter benjamin parker / spider-man CURRENT TEAM(S): order of the web PREVIOUS ALIASES: none AGE: 30′s SPECIES: human ( + bitten by a radioactive spider ) MULTIVERSAL ORIGIN: earth-616 GENDER IDENTITY: cisgendered male SEXUALITY: nervous bisexual NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: white

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: jack quaid SPECIAL / RECOGNIZABLE FEATURES: he’s tall as shit HAIR COLOR: brown EYE COLOR: blue ACCENT: slight new york accent ( it’s softened with age / gets worse when he’s drunk ) CURRENT COSTUME: 616 suit

► BACKGROUND

CURRENT HOME: a small apartment in manhattan ( but he’s planning on finding a place together with mj very soon ) PAST OCCUPATION: inventor, bodyguard, mechanic, mascot, special class guidance counselor, creative engineer, assistant high school coach, high school science teacher, student, wrestler, fugitive CURRENT OCCUPATION: vigilante ( still spiderman-ing of course ), photographer ( mostly for fun ), president of the uncle ben foundation ( he’s just on the advisory board, they don’t need his help very often, they’re extremely capable ), research scientist / teaching assistant ( the students totally love him. totally. ) SNAP STATUS: survived in another reality

► RELATIONS

SIBLING(S): teresa parker ( alleged sister ), should we count the smattering of clones? PARTNER(S): mary-jane watson ( long time girlfriend ) CHILDREN: none PARENT(S): richard and mary parker ( both deceased )

► HEADCANONS/FUN FACTS

sometimes he goes commando in the suit.

he strongly dislikes mayonnaise.

he knows how to pick locks - felicia even gifted him a lock-picking set at one point.

he’s a libra.

he’s an avid stardew valley enthusiast ( he frequents the subreddit for tips and advice ).

his favorite food ( currently ) is the vegetable lo mein from the chinese place near his apartment, little hunan.

he is the tallest peter parker, standing at 6′1″.

he has a fake peter parker stan account on twitter.

he was absolutely a theater kid in high school and his best, most well known role, was villager #2 in a production of beauty and the beast. he had one line.

he’s very very bad at answering text messages.

a regular, avid napper, his favorite place to do so is atop this one italian restaurant near his apartment. it smells amazing and they always play the most relaxing music. the owners know he does this, and know to leave him be when he’s there. ( you’ll frequently find him asleep in his suit with a piece of complementary garlic bread on his chest. )

► WANTED CONNECTIONS

harry osborn ( 616 ) - bestie ben reilly-parker ( 616 ) - clone bro kaine parker ( 616 ) - evil clone bro doc ock, norman osborn, etc. ( 616 ) - any spidey villains could be fun too!

[fangirlmary]

"Interview Time"

Summary: The Undertaker and his childhood friend Ashley McCormick are interviewed by Jim Ross about their friendship. Sixth installment of Two Brothers, One Friend, Many Stories series. Kayfabe details used only.

Disclaimer: I do not own the professional wrestler characters/gimmicks used here. Just my original characters.

Getting up early had been easy for Ashley and the Undertaker. The Deadman went to take a shower while his childhood best friend changed out of her pajamas and into a set of business casual clothes consisting of a blue blouse, black skirt, white nylons, and black dress shoes. She then unbraided and brushed her hair, and then put it in a bun before making sure her belongings were packed up.

After the Undertaker had finished showering, dried off, and had gotten dressed in his usual black clothing, he got his own belongings packed up while Ashley made coffee and ordered scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon from room service. The unusual pair of friends had soon gotten their food, eaten it, drank their coffee, and brushed their teeth before checking again to be sure that they had everything and setting the room service trays of used dishes aside to be picked up. True to her word, Ashley left a 10 dollar bill as a tip to housekeeping and followed the Undertaker out of the room, each of them having their belongings in hand, to check out and return the key card. After that, they were making the short drive to WWF headquarters.

"You don't mind if I turn on the radio, do you?" Ashley asked.

"Not at all." The Undertaker replied.

So Ashley turned on the radio and heard one of her favorite Disney songs playing. That song was "The Best of Friends" from the studio's film adaptation of The Fox and the Hound.

As he drove and the song played in the background, the Undertaker briefly thought of the countless hours he had spent playing with Ashley when they were children, with Kane often tagging along. He remembered that many thought of their friendship as unusual simply because of their fathers having what were essentially opposite jobs. Those good times had ended too soon and he felt that he could only blame himself for it.

Ashley turned off the radio immediately after the song was over, a few tears running down her face. "Maybe this should be kept off for a while." She quickly composed herself once more. "Are you alright, Mark? I honestly didn't know that particular song would be playing."

"I'll be fine, Ashley. We're almost there anyway." The Undertaker assured her.

"Okay then." She was satisfied with that answer as they pulled into the parking lot.

It wasn't long before the car was parked with the engine turned off, its occupants having gotten out and locked the door afterwards. The two friends were now in the building and had been led to a room where Jim Ross was waiting for them. Ashley had shaken his hand when they had greeted each other and now was seated with the Undertaker on two separate arm chairs next to each other across from the Oklahoma native as the camera was turned on.

Good Old JR, as he was nicknamed by some, had soon reminded the viewers of who the duo were before addressing the latter. "You both were friends in childhood, but how did that friendship start?"

"It all started via mundane means on our first day of kindergarten; Ashley standing up to a bully, sitting next to me during lunch, and sharing some of her food with me. When she asked if I wanted to be her best friend, I said yes because I had not expected her to be as kind as she was." The Undertaker answered. He wasn't smiling but he knew that Ashley was. "Looking back on it, it seems like fate was playing a joke via having someone whose father helped bring new life into the world befriend someone whose father helped prepare the deceased for their funerals when their lives were over. Yet Ashley was and still is my best friend."

Ashley added her own two cents. "I was kind because my parents taught me that there is usually more to someone than what one sees on the surface. To me, he was just a kid whose parents happened to run a funeral home. Since I have no siblings and I couldn't see my cousins often, Undertaker was essentially like a brother to me although we always thought of each other as friends first." She paused briefly. "I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve unlike him, but I never minded that at all."

"What did your families think of your friendship?" JR asked next.

"My parents were happy that he and I had become friends because they realized that all kinds of positive relationships are important, whether with family members, friends, or a lover. Undertaker's parents were like second parents to me; they were always good hosts when I came over to play. My parents were also good hosts when he and Kane came over to my house." Ashley paused briefly, the nostalgia washing over her. "Kane tagged along when we played together like all younger siblings do because he wanted to be able to do everything that the big kids did."

"That's all true; Ashley never liked Paul Bearer though because she found him 'creepy'. Neither of us knew that he was capable of some of the things that he has done over the past several months." The Undertaker was keeping calm despite his dislike of his manager.

"I have no doubt that Paul Bearer has great skills as a wrestling manager that are equal to his skill as a mortician, but that's the only positive thing I can say about him." Ashley added. "As it was, the Undertaker, Kane, and I were all very normal kids who didn't realize that some things don't last forever."

That would be the end of the first part of the interview as aired on Monday Night Raw. The next part would start with Jim Ross' next question for Ashley. "We all know the Undertaker's side of the story about that tragic fire; what was your reaction when you had first heard about it?"

"At the time the fire occurred, I was recovering from a broken arm caused by jumping my bike over a homemade ramp and the creek behind my house and being punished via being forbidden from playing with the Undertaker and Kane. I don't remember who it was that shared the news with my family, but I was devastated and left wondering if I would have been able to talk both brothers out of playing with matches if I had been there. After the Undertaker had to be taken into foster care after his parents' funeral, I became an angst filled teenager who got into fights at school and the like. Fortunately, my parents intervened before I went too far and I started seeing a therapist." A few tears fell down Ashley's face and she took a tissue from her purse to wipe them away. "Over time, I came to accept that it was not my fault and that it was extremely unlikely that I would see my best friend again. You can imagine my surprise when I met him after a house show in a parking lot with my kids and finally recognized him when he reminded me of how we had met each other."

"Undertaker, what prompted that meeting with her?" Jim Ross asked as he turned to the Deadman.

"I overheard Ashley trying to reassure her daughter that if I harmed said daughter or her two sons, she would kick my butt in the same way she had told a bully that she would kick his butt if he bothered me. That and she has never dyed her hair." The Undertaker answered.

"Unlike you, I don't like dyeing my hair, Undertaker. Although I do recall you once saying that you didn't like red hair and hoped to be more successful in dyeing it black than Anne Shirley was in doing so when we were 9 years old." Ashley reminded him.

"I did say that and I realized that hope many years later. Any other tales of our childhood will have to be saved for another time." The Undertaker reminded his friend, looking straight into her eyes as he said this. Then he addressed Good Old JR once again as he turned to look at him. "Once she finally believed me, I came to her home the next day to get caught up on what had happened since we last saw each other and we started to rekindle our friendship. It is not easy to keep up with each other when one considers how different our careers are among many other things, but we keep in touch regularly because I trust Ashley more than anyone else at this point in time." The Deadman said. "Like I said before, anyone who has a problem with that can go to Hell."

"It does seem rare to find someone like that, especially in this business." Jim Ross commented. He had another question for the single mother. "Ashley, how did your children react when finding out that you knew the Undertaker before he was famous?"

"All of them were surprised but thought it was awesome. I think that my late husband Alexander would have thought so too because he got the rest of our family into professional wrestling and we love it, even with some of the strange things that can happen in that very ring." Ashley replied honestly, a sad smile on her face.

This was the point where the second part would end after being shown on television. Now, it was time for Jim Ross to ask a few questions that would make up part 3 so he did. "Did anyone ever think that you would have something more than friendship going on between you?"

"Our respective parents did joke about that a few times. That never happened, of course, and Undertaker is not someone I would want as a significant other anyway since he's not my type. I'm not his type either." Ashley said in response as she looked straight at the commentator.

"It's true; we will only ever consider each other close friends and almost like siblings. If she does find someone who loves her as a romantic partner and treats her well, I will support that relationship. Anyone who attempts to do the opposite will answer to me." It was very obvious by the way the Undertaker was saying this that he was serious about that threat.

"I don't think anyone wants to know what kind of punishment would be in store for them if they did that." Jim Ross said, more to himself than anyone else. "Ashley, what are your thoughts about being in the spotlight after Paul Bearer revealed that he knew you and the Undertaker were keeping in touch with each other after becoming friends again?"

"Being dragged into the spotlight after what Paul Bearer said hasn't been easy to deal with, but I know that I can handle it. Paul, if you are watching this, I will kick your ass if you don't keep your word about not harming my kids!" Ashley replied firmly and confidently. "To my kids, I have to say please keep an eye on each other and be good for both sets of grandparents while you are visiting them, and I'll call you later after I get home."

"Undertaker, do you have anything else to say about that or to anyone else?" JR asked as the final question.

"I may not have many standards, but one of them is to never harm children. To anyone out there who thinks of harming my friend or her children, you better reconsider. If you do not, I will kick your ass and make you suffer for a long time before you rest. In. Peace." The Deadman answered.

That was where the final part would end. Ashley sighed with relief as the cameras were turned off before she and the Undertaker were thanked for participating in that interview. Then the two friends left to go to through the McDonald's drive thru for lunch, once again having their seatbelts on and the car doors locked. They had plenty of time to do that before they had to get to the airport and then go on separate flights to either go home or, in the case of the Deadman, continue on to the next arena.

"Thank goodness that's over." Ashley said, finally taking a moment to relax. Her purse was by her feet on the floor. "Did you have to have to have the last word though, Mark?"

"Yes." He replied bluntly.

They had soon gotten to McDonald's and into the drive thru lane. The two friends wound up each ordering a Big Mac, large fries, and a large lemonade. They silently ate their food after the Undertaker had paid for it and they had gotten it as they continued their drive.

Ashley had finished her food first and said "Mark, I have something to tell you that I really should have said much earlier than the beginning of this week. I was told that Kane was missing and presumed dead rather than that he was actually dead after the fire. My parents were told that too. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner because I genuinely wasn't aware that you hadn't gotten the same explanation; I just assumed that was the case until recently and I didn't realize I should not have done that." She looked down in shame.

The Undertaker, having finished his food as he had been listening to the single mother speak, nearly slammed on the brakes as they pulled up to a red light. He wasn't sure whether to be angry with her or with whoever it was that thought she should have been told different information than he had gotten about that night. "Somebody lied to one of us." He growled.

Ashley didn't say anything else. She wouldn't blame him if he wanted to make her get out of the car and find another means of transportation to return to the airport; she really felt she deserved that.

The light turned green and the Undertaker continued driving. It wouldn't be long until they got back to the Westchester County airport. He could not blame Ashley for this; they had been 12 years old at the time of his parents' deaths and grief plus still being children meant that there hadn't been any reason to question what they had been told. "I do wish you would have mentioned that earlier this week, but I can't fault you since getting over your nerves regarding the interview plus other things were more urgent to deal with. I need to find out which bastard thought it was a good idea to not tell us the same thing regarding the fate of my little brother."

"I wouldn't blame you for never talking to me again or tombstoning me on the floor of the airport." Ashley had tears running down her face once more out of guilt. "I do want to make it up to you somehow."

The Phenom knew that his long time best friend was genuinely feeling horrible. Not because of the tears, but because he had known her well enough to know that she had a good heart and soul even though she couldn't be perfect. She had tried to be a good person even when it was tough. Uncharacteristically, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry with her anymore. He certainly would not be giving her a tombstone pile driver. Once he had time to calm down, he would figure out what to suggest as for what she could do to make it up to him if she really felt she needed to do that. "You know your parents would kick my ass if I did that. They are not opponents that I would want to face." He replied honestly, after taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

"Fair point. I just hope you are calm enough to talk to me on the phone again later." Ashley finally looked up again and then proceeded to finish her lemonade.

"I should be. We'll see." The Deadman finished his lemonade as he finally pulled into the airport parking area and parked the rental car.

After they had gotten out and gotten their respective belongings in hand, the Undertaker walked a separate direction from Ashley after a brief "see you later" comment from her as she threw the trash from their meal away in the nearest trash can. One could only hope that they would eventually get some closure over what happened to Kane, not knowing that such a thing would not be found for a good while.

[blowflyfag]

Pro Wrestling Illustrated: September 1996

FROM THE DESK OF…Stuart M. Saks

I THOUGHT I WAS in hell. 

Men were brawling recklessly, chairs were crunching skulls, and garbage cans were pounding backs. One-by-one, more men kept joining the fray. The fans’ screams of delight were drowned out by blaring rap music. I was there, yet I wasn’t. Everyone was involved in some way or another. Battlers. Spectators. Sound men. Security guards. Not me. I was merely an observer. Close enough to sense the raw emotions of the event, but far enough away to feel protected from the sheer horror of it.

“___ you,” one of the battlers screamed at a spectator who made the mistake of using the wrong finger to express his  view that the battler was number one.

An image of Lou Thesz came into my head. I eliminated it quickly. He should not be exposed to this! 

Then again, this isn’t for everybody. That’s what the promoters of Extreme Championship Wrestling keep warning us.

“ECW! … ECW! … ECW!” The spectators chanted in unison after seeing a sampling of extreme wrestling. These are not fans of wrestlers per se; they’re fans of the concept that nothing is to be held back in an effort to bring them what they want. Ever.

Brutality? Almost always. Breathtaking aerial wrestling? More than you’ll see anywhere north of the Mexican border. Beautiful women? Hey, 95 percent of the audience is comprised of males between the ages of 18 and 35, and after being Dudleyed into submission, it’s good for the eyes to look at Beulah McGillicutty for a few minutes. 

My walk through hell occurred in the strangest of places. This was not even the official ECW hell hole–the ECW Arena on the mean streets of South Philly. This was an auxiliary hell, in the quiet upper middle-class Philly suburb of Plymouth Meeting, in an all-purpose auditorium called Lu Lu Temple.

I was not there to cover wrestling matches on this evening. Bill Apter and Craig Peters were taking care of that. But Lu Lu (no relation to Ed Norton’s deceased dog) is only a few miles up the road from our Ambler offices, so, with my Friday evening free, I went merely to record my thoughts of the big picture.

Randomly …

***

[2 Cold Scorpio and Sabu literally risked their necks in their ECW TV title match. ECW fans have grown almost jaded by such action, and their reactions aren’t proportional to the efforts the wrestlers put forth.]

ECW belongs in the family-oriented Lu Lu Temple like that Charlestown Chiefs of Slap Shot fame belong in Madison Square Garden … I love the fact that some of the wrestlers made themselves available to the fans before the matches began. Craig Peters might not agree. He was sitting on the stage behind the seats with Beulah, taking credit for her being on the cover of June ‘96 edition of PWI, when a fan interrupted their conversation and said, “Hey Beulah, you’re in PWI.” Only this was the July edition, and the article the fan was making reference to was Craig’s “In Focus” column in which he rated some of the more prominent women of wrestling in various categories. This is great, I thought. More brownie points for Craig. Craig, however, knew he was in trouble. Beulah finished ninth on his list of 10! “Sex appeal–zero?!” she shrieked. Craig responded sheepishly: “But look at the reason why. You’re pregnant.”

“Zero?!” she shrieked. “But–” “Zero?!” … As match time approached, I heard a fan yell, “ECW rules!” Talk about your classic oxymoron. I bet you could fit a copy of the ECW rule book on one page of PWI—and still have room for pictures. There are no rules in hell. Referees? They have them, but they don’t even make a pretense of counting to four when traditionally illegal acts take place. The fans booed both referees when they were introduced, but I don't see why. They do exactly what the fans want them to do–nothing … I saw a young fan throw a flattened soda can toward the ring. The promoter also saw it. Acting swiftly and properly, he had the fan tossed … And, yes, there was wrestling at the Lu Lu Temple, too. In fact, I’d venture to say that the match between TV champion 2 Cold Scorpio and Sabu was one of the 20 best matches I have ever seen. Too bad the ECW fans didn’t appreciate it. About a minute into the match, many of the fans started with that ignorant “Boring!” chant. I suppose they just couldn’t wait for the wrestlers to get past that feeling-out phase before really getting down to business. 

[Beulah McGillicutty gave Craig Peters an earful when she discovered that out associate publisher had given her a zero in the sex appeal category in a recent “In Focus” column.]

But get down to business they did; more accurately, I should say get up to business. These two men performed aerial feats that rendered the term “high-risk” a gross understatement. In one memorable sequence, Scorpio had Sabu in trouble and mounted the turnbuckles. Sabu lifted himself off the canvas, ran across the ring, sprung off a chair that had been left near the ropes, and maneuvered his body so that he was able to grab Scorpio around the neck with his legs. Sabu then reversed his momentum and “Franken-steinered” Scorpio from the turnbuckles down to a table at ringside. When I was a young wrestling fan,  a dropkick was a spectacular move. This was beyond belief! The fans were appreciative; thy should have fallen out of their seats … I guess you can’t give people too much because their natural inclination is to always want more. Ultimately, you’ll have nothing more to give them, and one day you may even find them chanting “Boring!” rather than “ECW!”

[mrsarcherofinfamy]

Who all do you write for if it’s ok to ask?

It's fine to ask! I write for anyone really! I've started to adventure into writing for female wrestlers! Only ones I won't write about is currently deceased wrestlers. Hope this helps! ❤️😁

[wrestlingfaves]

Royal Rumble Marathon: 1995

Time for the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Spoilers for past Rumbles.

We open with the arrival of Pamela Anderson and the wrestlers acting like horndogs.

The undercard:

Razor Ramon vs Jeff Jarrett (accompanied by the Roadie (Road Dog) for the Intercontinental title. Jarrett wins by count out but demands the match be continued. Jarret wins the continued match and becomes the new Intercontinental title.

IRS (Mike Rotunda, accompanied by Ted DiBase) vs the Undertaker (accompanied by Paul Bearer. Taker wins but is attacked by two “druids” and King Kong Bundy after the match. IRS kidnaps the urn and runs off.

Bret Hart vs Diesel for the WWF championship. Lawrence Taylor is at ringside. Shawn Michaels enters the ring and attacks Diesel, but the ref doesn’t call for a disqualification and orders the match to continue. Shortly afterwards, Owen interferes, and the ref again orders the match to continue. A ref bump has allowed Shawn, Owen Bob Backlund, Jeff Jarrett, and the Roadie to return to the ring and attack both participants. The ref declares the match a draw. Sure. This match was almost as overbooked as the Yoko-Taker match from last year. Did Vince not trust Diesel to last in a longish match so he threw multiple wrestlers in it to extend the match? Bret and Diesel hug and shake hands after the match.

Todd perves on a changing Pamela Anderson. Remember, we are only two years away from the Attitude era. Jerry also perves on Pamela.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka (accompanied by Ted DiBase) vs Bob “Spark Plug” Holly and the 1-2-3 Kid (Sean Waltman) in the finals of the Tag Team championship tournament. Bam Bam continues his streak of uninspiring Rumble matches. Bigelow gets into with Laurence Taylor at ringside, setting up their Wrestlemania match.

Highlights from the 1994 Rumble match, with emphasis on Diesel’s elimination streak. We go to Shawn for comments, and he notes the cameraman missing him eliminating Diesel from the ’94 Rumble.

Pamela is introduced as the guest hostess of the Rumble. Jerry continues to perv on Pamela which is forewarning of the non-stop “puppies” commentary we will have to endure for years.

The entrants, in order of appearance:

Shawn Michaels

Davey Boy Smith

Eli Blu, ½ of the Blu Brothers

Duke “the Dumpster” Drose

Jimmy Del Rey ½ of the Heavenly Bodies

Sione (the Barbarian) of the Headshrinkers, accompanied by Captain Lou Albano

Dr. Tom Prichard, ½ of the Heavenly Bodies

Doink (accompanied by Dink)

Kwang

Rick “the Model” Martel

Owen Hart (Bret attacks Owen on his way to the ring – payback’s a bitch, Owen)

Timothy Well

Bushwhacker Luke

Jacob Blu, ½ of the Blu Brothers

King Kong Bundy

Mo, ½ of Men On A Mission

Mable of Men On A Mission

Bushwhacker Butch

Lex Luger

Mantaur

Aldo Montoya (Justin Credible)

Henry Godwin

Billy Gunn

Bart Gunn

Bob Backlund (Bret Hart returns to beat up Backlund at ringside)

Steven Dunn (accompanied by Harvey Wippleman)

Dick Murdoch

Adam Bomb

Fatu of the Headshrinkers

Crush

Nothing was announced about a shortened time between entrants, but I feel that has to be the case as the wrestlers are coming in at a very fast pace.

Winner: Shawn Michaels

Quickest elimination: Mo

Big Man Face Off: Mable vs King Kong Bundy

First-time Rumblers: Eli Blu, Duke “the Dumpster” Drose, Jimmy Del Rey, Dr. Tom Prichard, Timothy Well, Jacob Blu, King Kong Bundy, Mantaur, Aldo Montoya, Henry Godwin, Billy Gunn, Bart Gunn, Steven Dunn, Dick Murdoch

A better Rumble than the previous year. Bret saved the undercard and Shawn and Davey made the Rumble. I’m already over pervy Lawler commentary and we haven’t even started the Attitude Era yet!

Wrestlers and other who have passed on: Mabel (Visera), Captain Lou Albano, Razor Ramon, Paul Bearer, Pat Patterson, Owen Hart, Bam Bam Bigelow, Howard Finkel, Davey Boy Smith, Jimmy Del Rey, Bushwhacker Luke, Timothy Well, Mantaur, Crush, Steven Dunn

Total number of deceased individuals: 15 (down 2 from the previous Rumble)

[thosenaturalones]

The Seven Tortle Bales

There are seven main Tortle Bales (aka Clans) in the nation of Mesh. Each consists of a founding family and then minor houses. We haven't put much energy into creating these for our game since we aren't playing a Mesh focused game.

Bale Panther's creed is stealth. It produces the finest rangers, rogues and shadow monks that Mesh has to offer.

Bale Alligator is a full of loud, brash, but also gregarious folk. It is a bale of barbarians, bards, and druids of the moon. Bale Alligator offers proud wrestlers and front line fighters. Many Swords and Valor Bards are Bale Alligator, and they're not afraid of a tussle.

Bale Hawk is one of the most feared bales. They are primarily focused on protecting nature, and feature some truly terrifying Druids and Druidic Warriors. They are known for their cunning, fighting dirty, and their javelin and hand-axe hurlers.

Bale Egret is named after the regal bird that wades in the waters of Mesh. The Egret represents striking a balance between the the sky, the land, and the water, and its families work to forge peace and harmony in the world, despite the constant chaos. Many Tortles Bale Egret are Circle of the Moon Druids, Knowledge or Twilight Clerics, or Monks of the Open Hand.

Bale Dragon boasts the most wizards, bards and scholars of any of the bales. Bale Dragon protects many, many books penned by Tortle historians and scholars, produces scroll scribers, enchanters, and also a fair number of treasure hunters who seek lost artifacts and magical treasures. Many Battlemasters and Eldritch Knights are Bale Dragon. They also have a College of Lore and College of Glamour for bards.

Bale Troll is the most macho of all the bales. They are renowned for never turning down a duel, for to do so would be cowardly. Among their number are Nature Paladins, Samurai, and even Swashbuckler Rogues and Monks who will jump 20ft high in the air and breathe fire on their enemies below them.

Bale Anaconda has a unique position among the bales. It is tasked with defending the underground caves accessible only underwater where the clutches of Tortle eggs are laid. They are constantly vigilant against the Sahuagin and their Aboleth masters, octopuses who might steal eggs, and ghosts, ghasts and ghouls of dead sailors wandering up from the ocean's depths. Bale Anaconda boasts many Psi Warriors and Soul Knives, and Warlocks granted power from the Lingering Madness. This Bale still carries traits from a thousand years ago when the Tortles were slaves of the Aboleths. There is no history from before that time. Bale Anaconda also has no mercy for outsiders.

Bale Hydra (deceased) is the lost bale. Before the uprising against the Wood Elves, Bale Hydra was the only bale that had the secrets to teaching the Monk arts. The three principal houses taught the Way of the Open Hand, the Long Death, and the Ascendant Dragon. However, the Wood Elf Defense Army wiped out nearly all of Bale Hydra very early in the Years of Unrest. Those who survived escaped to other Bales where they continue to teach and discover the Monk martial arts.

Because the Tortles were revived by the Wood Elves, they have taken elven religion as their own. Of all the Elven deities those the Tortles worship most are Sehanine Moonbow, intermediate deity of the moon; Deep Sashelas, intermediate deity of the seas; Labelas Enoreth, intermediate deity of longevity; and Solonor Thelandira, intermediate deity of hunting. Though, it must be admitted, now in these late stages of the war against the Shan there is growing worship of Shevarash, demipower of vengeance.

[stevenuniverse-bloginfo]

"I changed. That's the final piece. All those struggles, I learned from them, and I grew! Oh my gosh! It's not just my Gem powers I've forgotten! All this "happily ever after" stuff has made me forget the first power I ever had: the power to change!"

I DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH REBECCA SUGAR

INFO UNDER THE CUT

CHARACTERISTICS:

Name: Steven Quartz Universe

Age: 13-16

Species: Half-Gem and Half-Human

Gender: Male

Gender pronoun: He/Him

Sexuality: Straight

Weapon: Shield

TRAITS:

Birthday: August 15

Complexion: Fair

Height (Not confirmed) from 13-16: 4'11-5'6

Weight: 145 lbs

Hair: Dark Brown

Eyes: Black

Gemstone: Pink Diamond

Gem Type: Diamond

NICKNAME(S):

Schtu-ball

Little Man

Steve-O

The Steven

Ste-van

Star Child Jr

Cutie Pie

Starlight

ALIAS:

Tiger Millionaire/Tiger Philanthropist

Peter Pizzapoppolis

Zoltron

Esteban Universidad

Rose Quartz

Pink Diamond

Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe

Professional Status:

AFFILIATION(S):

Off-Colors

The Great Diamond Authority

OCCUPATION(S):

Guardian (formerly)

Healer (formerly)

Champion wrestler (formerly; as Tiger Millionaire/Tiger Philanthropist)

Fortune teller (formerly; as Zoltron)

Big Donut Cashier/Stocker (temporarily)

Monarch (temporarily)

Teacher (formerly)

Earth's ambassador (formerly)

ALIGNMENT:

Crystal Gems

PERSONAL STATUS:

Status: Alive

Relatives:

Greg Universe (father)

Rose Quartz (mother; deceased)

Greg's Aunt and Uncle (grandaunt and granduncle)

Greg's Parents (grandmother and grandfather)

Deb (grandaunt)

Andy DeMayo (first cousin once removed)

Greg's Grandfather (great-grandfather)

Watermelon Stevens (creations)

Pumpkin (creation)

Cactus Steven (creation)

Topiary Stevens (creations)

WIKI:

Steven Quartz Universe is the titular main protagonist of the Steven Universe franchise. He is the son of Greg Universe and Rose Quartz, the only known hybrid of a human and a Gem and the first Crystal Gem of human descent. As a result of his parentage, Steven is an extraordinarily unique being with innate powers beyond that of normal humans and Gems. While he was only a child, Steven steadily grew from a tag-along to the Crystal Gems into the heart of the team thanks to his kind-hearted nature and resourcefulness.

Steven is devoted to protecting humanity and helping those in need just as Rose Quartz did, and though her monumental legacy once forced Steven to live in her shadow, he has since surpassed her by ending the authoritarian practices of the Great Diamond Authority and establishing peace across the galaxy. However, the consequences of his mother's mistakes continue to haunt Steven and those he cares about to his growing frustration. Additionally, as his friends and family continue to grow and start to go out into the world and beyond, Steven has begun to struggle with his own self-identity and what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He has also started coming to terms with suppressed trauma that he has built up over the course of his years of adventures and near-death experiences with Gems.

At the end of the series, however, after holding his feelings in for so long culminates in him transforming into a giant Gem monster after coming to the conclusion that he is a monster himself, Steven's friends and family manage to get through to him with the power of love. In the months following, he decides to leave Beach City to go on a road trip on his own to see the world and find himself.