#debating if i should just not sleep
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
280 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
jed and octavius: *wrapping up augustus in bubble wrap* "there! now you can scoot around all you like without fear of breaking"
#wow so realistic. this bubble wrap is basically just like the real thing it's like looking at a photo or something wow (I'm being sarcastic)#night at the museum#natm#augustus caesar#Augustus natm#natm jedediah#natm octavius#octavius#jedediah#jedediah and octavius#jedtavius#parents or bust au#ask#anonymous#art#fanart#traditional art#i'm so tired#like. I feel tired all the time. I don't feel rested when I sleep. I hate it here#drawing this ask over some others because it required less effort#+ I made an irreversible mistake and I'm debating with myself if I should post it as is or if I should redraw the whole thing
80 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Little ster edit I madeā¦ Cause there needs to be more in the world :>
special thanks to like the 5-10 people on this website who upload ster clips. This is dedicated to yāall <3
Audio: noir.audioss on tiktok
Song: Like Me - Chase Icon
#ster#ster_#star_#ster underscore#st3r#whatever other tags this man has#snazum edits#look im new to the ster community or whatever#i debated putting this on my side blog but it can go on main#i spent time n effort on this#I never make edits/fancams so shoutout to yāall who do that too#this shit is insane but i get it its a beautiful fuckin art form#my eyes burn and im so tired so goodnight i hope u ster fans see this and love it#i promise im in the freak territory like u guys i just hide it for the most part#who am i kidding it should be obvious.#im a hockey fan that resides on tumblr n twt this aint surprising#i made the fckin edm oilers in the sims with friends for fun#its a convoluted timeline now for them dont worry bout it#okah i really need to sleep goodnight weāll see if the pc uploads first or phone#jokes on the pc iām not giving it time i want to sleep so GOODNIGHT! For real
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i canāt believe i have to cook myself meals. every day! multiple times!
the horrors never cease
#personal post#i hate feeding myself#iāve been laying in bed with a plan of what iāll make for like at least half an hour#and itās a debate of if i should just go back to sleep instead. canāt cook if im asleep!
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Next on my list to draw is something with my big squishy guy Zoth Ommog. Just a heads up
#i like he..#idk why i havent drawn him yet but gosh golly i enjoy this monstrous form of my mans izaack#just talking#i should be sleeping not thinking about the cinehead ritualist slug man thing#debating lower half designs for him
15 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
#kaptein sabeltann#langemann#kaptein sabeltann langemann#pretty sure I am ruining someone's childhood here#but tbh I'm almost a little bit amazed that no one has done this before?#norwegian fandoms are sleeping too much#not even sure we have any purely norwegian media fandom on tumblr#if any norwegian media should have a fandom it should be kaptein sabeltann tho#pls I need more kaptein sabeltann in my life#debating buying more of the books just to get something new to look at#also these two are just so much fun to draw
27 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
smashes my current interest together with my old interest (aka yet another "what Dungeon Meshi but Gamers?" AU)
Once when I was a child I had a complete crying meltdown over Creatures, because the manual insisted that the complicated AI of the Norns made them truly alive and 10-year-old me was freaked out at the idea of being solely responsible for making sure these real animals wouldn't die. The funny part was that this was the Playstation version of Creatures, which has no biochemistry and very basic AI compared to the PC/Mac games where players actually were debating whether or not it was true artificial life. A PSX manual gave me existential dread and it wasn't even telling the truth.
Anyway, kid!Marcille would also have a meltdown over the Creatures series, especially if she had the computer games and got to see how vastly different some breeds' lifespans are. Like in C2 where you have Norns that live for around 5 hours and Norns that live for 10, both of which are vastly more than Ettins who don't even live for 1.5 hours (and usually less due to radiation or starvation).
Lucky for her, having the computer version means she could download modified genomes made by other players that make creatures live longer or even outright remove certain death triggers. However I think she'd have more fun learning to read and edit the genomes herself, to get a better understanding of how the game works and how to change it to suit her own tastes. And because she could pretend she's one of the mysterious ancient Shee who created the Norns, Grendels, and Ettins and then vanished, leaving behind relics of their old society.
(Speaking of Grendels, she would unfortunately dislike them because they're the Designated Evil Species and she'd hate how they harass and attack her Norns. I think she'd also pity them though, because they get sick a lot and have short lifespans. Likely she'd just end up downloading/creating a genome without the aggression towards Norns. Ettins she'd like except for in C3 when they dismantle her meticulously-placed gadget setups, so she might mod out their hoarding compulsions too. Both of them would of course also live for however long her Norns would live.)
Also. While standard creatures' lifespans are counted in hours, if you modify the half-lives in the genome editor you can increase it to centuries. Or even just over a millennium if you set the half-lives to their max length (assuming you also leave the old age death trigger at its vanilla value).
and I like to think that elven Creatures players would pass around copies of what they consider a template genome that's appropriate to their own lifespans. Something that would make their creatures live for weeks or months of continuous play. I also like to think the Creatures DS Warp is still active in this AU because of the hilarious frustration when these long-lived Norns travel to worlds run by short-lived players whose Norns have vanilla lifespans, and vice versa.
(Most of the time in Creatures, offspring of parents with different lifespans will just have one or the other, but there's a chance the genes cross over right in the middle of the various age triggers and cause unstable aging rates. Like a Norn that goes through the childhood stages in hours but then has a very extended adulthood. Or a days-long childhood followed by suddenly dropping dead of old age once the vanilla adulthood genes kick in. Or, if the child has one parent's half-life decay rate and the other parent's age triggers, all sorts of odd things could happen. I once had hybrid Norns who lived for 20 hours and would die of organ failure before reaching the old age threshold!)
(Now that I think of it, Marcille would absolutely hate fast-agers. The first time she watches a creature hatch, turn old, and die in just one brief minute of life, she would be sobbing for days. One of the first things she'd learn to mod out would be mutations that cause the Ageing/Life chemical to decrease unusually fast.)
On a lighter note, while I don't know what her favorite designs would be I think she'd love choosing cute breeds to use in her world. Once she figured out how to give her creatures the comfortable life she wants them to have I can see her redirecting all her gene-editing efforts into changing color expressions. She might even learn to sprite or model her own custom designs.
#creatures#creatures games#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#(not directly but the Implications are there)#(later tags will be more direct about spoilers)#anyway all the PC Creatures games are on Steam and Docking Station is free#Caveat One: Creatures 2 does not run well on modern systems (though the Steam release is trying to fix that)#Caveat Two: The Creatures series was made during the 'spanking is acceptable' era so uh.#No sugarcoating it: Physical abuse is used as discipline.#(unless it's Creatures Village where they replaced slapping with a water spray)#I made a mod for C3/DS that just uses buttons instead of the hand; it was released for the CCSF 2023 community event but#I should re-release it here too someday. I should also revisit my slap-disabler mod and see if I can make it easy to install.#but that's a task for Future Me and not Present Me#anyway Sissel/Thistle is also a Creatures player but he cares more about micromanaging his population than caring for them#he removes not just their death triggers but also their drive to eat and sleep. they're permanently happy zombies basically#he doesn't make peace with Grendels and Ettins he just puts them in the airlock#he gets involved in the Creatures Abuse discourse and somehow makes everyone mad#however he is also a very prolific modder who has made all sorts of interesting animals and metarooms; ppl in the fandom respect his skills#and he does truly care about his vision of a utopian world for his favorite Norns#idk if any other dunmeshi character would play Creatures. Milsiril might like it?#Kabru wouldn't play but he'd get a kick out of reading the many ethical debates and drama between fans#everyone else I feel might be put off by the game's very slow pace or by the complexities of raising creatures#anyway hey I haven't posted on tumblr for months; I am sorry and this WILL happen again#Eventually i will remember how to Create Things#that is also a task for Future Me
13 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
all it takes is one comment (i have finished another piece š))
#just me hi#[laying on the groundā head propped on hand] so it's almost 2 a.m. LMVSHfvbj#it Did only take me like an hour and a half (these are are so quick to make ?? oh my stars. i should do this more often !!) but i've spent#much time just aimlessly wandering and debating doing it and i ended up doing it anyway lmfvshj#btw do NOT have many liquids if you wanna stay focused on something for a couple hours. personal note hgkfsvh#the bathroom calls to me. like a siren#/okay my brain functioning is at a like. 2#out of. 50 pfhsbvh#i am going to explode enthusiastically and all that will come out is polyester filling like a stuffed animals lollll#that and candy-string wiring. a nice sprinkling of those hfbhsv#//OKAY lemme put this thing up hkfhsvhb#and then perhaps i'll sleep. ooooooo#:3 hopefully lmao :3#let's go ! ! !
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i don't think i'm sleeping tonight lads
#legit have no desire to go to sleep at all#still debating on the all nighter and if i should just speedrun the end of the sixth playthrough i'm on#cause holy hell with photo mode??? nobodys' gonna fucking see me for weeks irl lol#(kidding of course cause i do have plans this month for a weekend trip lol)
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I can't even remember the last time I was this physically tired ugh
#personal#like it was a great event this weekend and it was good to see family but i feel like i got hit with a truck and then also drained of#all my blood or something#like not even just my normal sore pain flare up like actively Exhausted#which tbh the new having to get up early and also walking way more than im used to for new job are definitely compounding#i was going to force myself to do stretches but tbh i don't think i can#debating if bath is worth it or if i should just rest#hopefully another night of sleep will help
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Discovered that there are in fact queer Warhammer 40K characters, but it's not any of the characters we got on cards.
But I did find that one of the Baldur's Gate Alchemy cards from Arena shows some gay NPCs from the Curse of Strahd adventure.
And poking around the secondary characters sections of the Magic wiki is causing me to dig up more story only queer characters. Like the fact that Zimone from Strixhaven has two dads.
Somebody has to be the go to expert on queer characters in Magic the Gathering and oh boy am I auditioning for the part.
#also discovered that the author of the Wilds of Eldraine main story was definitely implying Somethingā¢ went down between Rowan and Royse#and when I thought it was just the fandom memeing I didn't count it#but now I'm wondering if I should count these sorts of word of god statements from the Author#I'm thinking yes...but I'm gonna sleep on it first#also debating the inclusion of Heiko Yamazaki...her love interest is nonbinary but does that actually make her gay?#this project has rooted itself into my brain like nothing has for a while
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
hey seb whats up
Eepy,,,
#so eepy#i need zo brush my teeth buf I am barely even awakew anymore and i jusz want to speep#debating on if I should srill fight myself out of bed now or if i should just beush them tomorrow morning#my teeth kinda hurt because of a cold clogging my nose i couldn't wear my braces#and now i am suffeirng mild dental discomfort too#but i just want to sleep#it's almost#four in the morning apparently#Vanyanš
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I've thrown my back out many times before but it's never been this bad and I'm so thirsty and have to use the bathroom but both the bathroom and kitchen are down the stairs and at the opposite end of the house and I just want to cry
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i have a day off today so naturally i stayed up until 6am making a samjohn edit
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sorry the server and six fanarts is taking so long, I can do like 3 things in a day before I burn out and Iāve had other stuff Iāve needed to do ;-;
#spaghetti posting#server is like 60% done I just need to fix issues with the roles and figure out how to use the bot I added#debating on whether age verification will be a self-assignable role or if I should do it manually.#issue with manually is I sleep most of the day and am active at night#idk
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
it is nighttime and i am alone tonight and i am wishing i could be anywhere other than my bedroom but there is nowhere to go
#iām not going out with those guys bc i do not want to get roofied or pressured. just seems like a bad idea#and iām trying not to drink alone at night anymore. i donāt even wanna drink but itās hard to be alone like this#i hate nighttime alone! i hate being in my room having to find my own entertainment!#my mood dropped so fast :/ and i really wanna go out! i really really wanna go out#but i have no one to go with tonight. and i really should not put myself in a bad situation just cause im bored!#i do kinda want to tho. im debating. i shouldnāt. but iām so bored and so lonely dude#I HATE NIGHTTIME I HATE BEING ALONE!#send help send backup send sleeping pills#pinkās word vomiting
15 notes
Ā·
View notes