#death puns

[valtsv]

The problem with working in a morgue, funeral home etc is that if you die you still have to go to work

this shouldn't be as funny as it is but something about the combination of dad jokes and morbid humor hit me like a sack of bricks

[bamsara]

Thinking about Heket headcanons and Bishops life before Narinder was chained, so some fic au stuff

[prokopetz]

Evil wizard seeks immortality, mis-scribes critical rune, ends up with indestructible enchanted vessel into which their soup will be transferred in the event of their death.

[o-wild-west-wind]

you know, I’m just gonna come out and say it. reason 182639302 why I’m sad ofmd was canceled: I would’ve liked to see a post-Izzy world.

you can stab me in the face now.

[vivernt]

wangxian beach au 2.0

[cat-cosplay]

Our Flag Means Blep

[illustoryart]

Oh, it's June! The famous PIRATE month! 🏳‍🌈🏴‍☠️

*fingers crossed for OFMD S2 trailer this month*

[cairafea]

he makes this joke every time.

[mag-loopy]

You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf

Now get ready for Wisp on a Crisp

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Danny Phantom doesn’t want to be king.

And the Observants also don’t want him to be king.

Frankly, very VERY few people want him to be king, dead or alive.

But opening the sarcophagus, even if it’s closed NOW, disrupted some magic protections. Until those can be fixed, summoning spells need to be answered by SOMEONE. Not all of summons, just like—once a month or so. Because if they don’t let that power outlet happen, all of those summon magics build up and suddenly Pariah Dark reigns again. Answering the summon basically dispels the built up magic, like opening a dam.

Again, Danny doesn’t WANT to do this either, but everyone else involved is a bad choice. He won’t even be named prince, because THEN that implies he COULD be king. He needs a title, of some kind, a position in the court, no matter how tenuous, so he can do the thing. Something where no one in their right or even WRONG mind would think to try to kill him for the position or try to marry him or something equally annoying to deal with.

So.

He becomes the Ghost Court Jester.

He even gets a fancy little outfit upgrade when he’s summoned, all black and white bell hats and shoes, a stupid little ruffle collar and black parachute pants, even face paint with a tiny dot of glowing neon green at the tip of his nose. The works. Better yet, if he hasn’t been ‘unsummoned’, his human form is just the exact same costume with swapped colors. He can change into his normal outfits, but until that circle has been disrupted, the next summon, or the next full or new moon, he’s stuck into the outfit when he first transforms from either form.

The Phantom Jester, which is a title more intimidating than Danny appears to be if we are to be honest, cracks jokes and never, EVER takes the summons seriously.

“Listen, I just had to get my hours in and it’s the last day of the lunar month, you got lucky I came at all.”

“I got the position by virtue of not wanting to go to Time Jail for a crime I technically didn’t commit and technically probably won’t but, well, eyes are the beholder of the grudge or something else equally cryptic to make you mad.”

“Is this a slumber party? … do you have cake? Bummer. Well, enjoy the bleeding walls then.”

“Whether I help you or not is entirely dependent on how well of a run down you can give me on this book I have to read that I have not at all touched.”

“Explain the reason in three sentences or less. I suggest less. And if it’s stupid I’m hitting you—oh you think this circle can contain me? Haha. It won’t.”

“Is that chicken blood? Why?? What did the chickens do to you?”

There are props in his costume but he literally never knows what he’s gonna pull out of his sleeves. Danny can’t even do a balloon animal and knows exactly zero card tricks, which would be more of an issue if the cards weren’t the size of a dinner plate. He barely even juggles and he’s honestly probably just utilizing his rarely-used telekinetic powers, but he does give people flowers if they haven’t been a total jerk. And if those flowers are like, rare and have seeds for propagation, well… he literally wouldn’t know. No, really, he doesn’t. He gets summoned by at least two ecology departments and he has no idea why, I mean, if he had a nickel—

He also had pies and is NOT afraid to use them.

[somberstarr]

Doppelganger. What if someone else had picked up the Death Note instead...

[sky-fire-forever]

I just started thinking about the duel scene and how Ed is like "Dude, don't fight Izzy, you're gonna fucking die"

And Stede's like "you taught me well" all dramatic

And Ed just looks him like 😬 "not that well"

It's so fucking funny to me

[prokopetz]

The fic's tags: #dead dove

The fic's first line: "In retrospect, we should have been more concerned about the exploding pigeons."

[itsmeaxumii]

death of the endless doodle (comic ver.)

[shyjusticewarrior]

[koschei-the-ginger]

I love beyond belief so much, it's always like "so what do you think? Was the story about a woman getting chased by ghost monkeys true or was it just some monkey business? But alas, it was a fact. People say there was a woman in Ohio in the late 70s who saw a monkey once in the zoo"