#Insert dirty package pun here

[satorusluver]

They really did make him look so hot in that delivery man uniform for no reason whatsoever.

[kalee60]

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Thanks to the gorgeous Lis @gfawkesphoenixchokingonashes for the tag - I absolutely need to get my butt into reading gear and catch up on your fics ❤️

Ok, so I always find it hard to do these things as my first reaction is to run and hide - but honestly I have loved writing some of these fics so here we go!

The only hope for me is you - Stucky - this is probably the best researched fic I've ever done. I loved worldbuilding this and coming up with a relatively realistic post-apocalyptic no-zombies world. Plus, hurt Bucky and Steve just pining was so satisfying to write.

Of shadow realms and misconceptions - Stucky - I have read a lot of fantasy...a lot - and this was written in almost one sitting over a couple of hours. It just flowed and I had no idea where it was going - it literally wrote itself... I just love it. (Insert Marge Simpson gif saying 'i just think it's neat' here)

Subliminal advertising - Stucky - this is peak disaster Bucky, and pun central (literally sooo many puns). I had the idea after walking behind a guy at the supermarket, who may have been wildly attractive and suddenly every food package could be misconstrued as dirty... Sorry...not sorry I guess!

Forgive, yet never forget - Stucky - this fic is all @martelldoran fault. It was a gorgeously heartbreaking prompt which I was nervous about as I generally write fluff and smut (with a healthy dose of pining) and what came about was really cathartic after the endgame debacle. I guess my unintentional fix-it fic.

Death by chips and lips - Superbats - yes I can (and do) write pairings other than Stucky! My obsession with this pairing is still strong and I have a few half written fics I'll publish soon - but I was eating a bag of salt'n'vinegar chips (crisps) that had so much vinegar my lips were tingling - so what else could I do but write Bruce lusting after Clark who complained about his tingling lips until he can't take it anymore!

~*~*~

Tagging with no pressure @darter-blue @martelldoran @hanitrash and @maddiewritesstucky

[rarestereocats]

rundown of the impromptu session!

for awhile,  we’re without the charisma of this team (Industria),  so the rest of us head off to the monastery to have a chat with Xaren.  we need details if we’re gonna be fighting a goddess,  especially a very nasty one,  so after our discussion;  we decide we need Industria’s dad’s help.  problem is,  Tacitus lives in heaven and you know,  you can’t just go to heaven.  unless you die of course,  but the bad news there is even that’s not a guarantee.

Xaren is still adamant that he doesn’t want us chasing him into the Underdark cuz it’s pretty fucking dangerous and before Rikius can agree with that,  i make sure to let Xaren know that i am not leaving his ass down there.  and like a good pussy whipped boyfriend,  Rikius can’t say shit.  he could,  but like i said,  #whipped.

Elathera says her grandpa has a very powerful staff (please calm yourselves) he used to carry around that could help us.  a staff that when broken,  will give us one way into heaven,  but no way out;  but whatever.  we’ll find a way.  problem is,  she doesn���t know where the staff is,  but her family might know so we go and pick up Elliot and head out.  he’s pretty excited about meeting his new girlfriend’s family,  so like the absolute sweetheart he is,  he bakes them cookies.

upon arrival and being ushered inside,  Elathera gets to tell the news that she’s finally off the market.  her mom can stop trying to bribe random men to sweep her off her feet and her mother is absolutely enamored with Elliot.  his is,  after all,  the Perfect Boyfriend.  kind,  does charity work,  bakes;  he’s the whole package.  talks of marriage and grandkids are had and Elathera was dying on the inside the entire time,  but manages to grin and bear it.

after dinner,  Elathera searches the house and her grandpa’s shed for the staff,  but all she finds is a ring of keys.  she pulls her mother aside to talk about it in her room and finds out that her mother had the staff buried alongside her grandpa in their old town.  wanting to know why we need it,  Elathera explains it and while her mother’s concerned,  she understands.  after,  she rushes down to alert Elliot that his girlfriend’s ready for him while the rest of us laugh our asses off.

he gets to see the blindingly pink bedroom and points out how her summoning circle looks super out of place.  Elathera summons up a bunny to show him and he just showers that bunny in affection.  another Good Boyfriend point to him.  He mentions how nice her family is and then pulls her in for a kiss.  with the power of mage hand on her side,  Elathera has it... lock the door and fade to black cuz they totally got it on.  you guys thought i was gonna say she did something dirty with that mage hand,  didn’t you?

by night,  i head out onto the pier for some fresh air and Xaren joins me.  we have a nice heart-to-heart and i tell him that i’d die for him.  apparently not the right words to say when he absolutely does not want us dying for him.  i pull back the layers of Xaren’s Tragic Backstory like an onion (there’s a lot of onion unraveling lately) and learn that his mother killed his brothers and stuck him in a sensory deprivation chamber as punishment,  also pinning their deaths on him.

it’s there that he met Miss McNasty,  Velevana,  and after giving so much of himself to her;  she took notice and gave him a wish.  so he wished to get out of the Underdark and Velevana was pissed,  but also impressed.  Rikius walks up on this all,  but quickly excuses himself when he realizes this is a private moment.  i decide to lighten the mood and boop Xaren’s nose and he boops mine back and we decide to gossip about our relationships.

we talk about our men and then Xaren says Samuel is his first boyfriend ever.  Rikius is also my first boyfriend ever cuz i used to be all about the ladies,  so now he’s wondering why i’d pick Rikius of all people.  and insert me saying something embarrassing about how he looks like he was chiseled out of marble by the gods and boy,  can’t wait for somebody to use that against me.

next morning,  Elathera goes and helps her little brother in his eidolon pursuit.  she takes him to their grandpa’s shed and walks him through the process,  summoning a very confused Tenin.  knowing what’s going on though,  he hops in to coach Altaura through this and this kid is fucking pumped.  he does the ritual and for a few seconds,  an angelic woman who looks vaguely like Elathera is staring back at them before she flickers out.  progress!  so now he’s even more excited.

we have a nice breakfast and then head back to Florence to pick up Industria and Ilyana and head out to Elathera’s old hometown to do a little grave robbing.  it takes some convincing for Industria to be okay with what’s a little morally questionable and before we head out,  she communes with Sabella to ask if it’s alright if we decide to show up in heaven,  which Sabella is totally cool with.  she also finds out that Tacitus is forbidden from coming back to the material plane cuz the dude just loves mortals too much.

we head out and reach the old town!  because of a street vendor who has just invented corndogs and set Tenin off,  we have to think of a new codeword.  again.  we settle on “Dungeon Master”.  sounds pretty kinky,  right?  shouldn’t be a problem so long as we keep Tenin out of certain clubs.  we make it to Elathera’s old house which is surprisingly occupied.  we ask the current owner for entry and she says it’s fine,  but be careful,  the place is haunted.

Industria goes on ghost hunter on us and leads us up to a locked door.  Elathera and her cool new set of keys gets the door open and it’s her grandpa’s old room.  the room’s cold as shit and Industria calls out and immediately a voice calls out to Elathera.  we’re shocked and in fear,  i take shelter behind Rikius cuz hey,  he’s like...two feet taller than me.  nobody will see me.

Elathera gets to catch up with her grandpa and he gets to see Tenin again too.  apparently his memories are on the fritz though because he’s pretty sure his soul is incomplete and scattered across the planes.  Elathera explains our current situation and asks if it’s okay to dig up his staff and he gives her permission.  he also gives our greedy asses permission to loot his room,  to which we do.  the most notable things being a book of enchantments,  a sweet ass ice crown,  and some summoning salts.

with Rikius watching over Ilyana in the carriage,  the rest of us hit the graveyard and dig up Elathera’s grandpa.  inside the casket with him is his big,  black staff (seriously,  calm yourselves) and we put everything back in place before making haste out of there.  thankfully,  Industria distracted the guards long enough for us to struggle with grave robbing.  the staff is beautiful.  obsidian and twinkles like the night sky.  shame we have to break it.

we quickly find a spot to open the portal and with the staff and Elathera’s dreams shattered,  we go to heaven.  at the gate,  two archons guard it and basically look us over to make sure we’re right and fit to be walking around literal fucking heaven.  Xaren and Rikius garner some attention though and are to be escorted by angels as a just in case.  we’re pointed to where we can find Tacitus and also get to learn where some of our departed loved ones are.

heaven is a very beautiful place.  maybe too beautiful to have our walking disasters parading through the streets,  but we make it to Tacitus’s tower and are brought up to his office.  Tenin gets to have another existential crisis as an angel refers to him as Little Tenin,  meaning there is indeed another Tenin,  so unfortunately,  Elathera has to desummon him.  introductions are had and Tacitus and Industria are both nervous and awkward as fuck.  understandable as that is literally the first time she’s seen her dad in person.

we ask for his aid in the Velevana situation and he tells us he’ll see what he can do.  unfortunately,  there isn’t much he can do after he gave us “the mythic” and realizing some of us don’t have it,  he corrects that.  so now Rikius,  Ilyana,  and even Elliot have it.  poor Elliot who is probably confused as fuck,  but he’s handling it well.  we also learn that our material plane isn’t the only one and apparently the folks up here have a problem and were constantly resetting it until now.  we’re allegedly the last material plane to exist and will be the longest thriving one.

with Tacitus eager to answer questions cuz he’s so excited to have mortals visiting,  i ask about Asri and Lucky and he says he’ll ask Sabella about it and get back to me.  Elathera asks what the fuck happened to her grandpa’s soul and he tells her that his soul has been dispersed between planes because someone up here deemed him too powerful to keep in one place.  She also asks if she can meet OG Tenin and Tacitus says he can arrange that.

Xaren asks if he can see his brothers,  so Tacitus takes him over to his telescope,  aiming it at Elysium and Xaren breaks down as he watches his brothers talking and laughing with other souls.  they’re watching the sunrise together over there and unable to move himself,  Samuel stays back to comfort him as the rest of us leave to do our thing.

we head to the library first,  but Industria decides to check out (library pun) early to go find Ilyana’s parents and ask them if it’s cool that she adopts their daughter.  they’re surprisingly okay with it cuz they know they’re dead and gone and Ilyana needs a better life.  they have plans to go join the void at some point,  so they won’t be around heaven much longer.  Elathera also decides to peace out cuz she’s taking Elliot,  Ilyana,  Xaren,  and Samuel to meet OG Tenin.  which leaves Rikius,  an absolute nerd,  in a library of vast knowledge.  and me,  passed out on his lap cuz everything is too much in this moment.

Elathera is fucking excited to meet OG Tenin.  his office is a gym,  guys.  if that is not the most Tenin thing ever,  then i don’t know what is.  OG Tenin is super fucking tall with six wings,  fiery hair,  and is all about that sleeveless game (relatable).  he is also a fucking nerd apparently and loves music and reading.  he’s very proud of Elathera and her spirit that died when she broke that staff is resurrected and before she can ask,  he reads her mind and says that he’s more than happy to train her.

come next day,  we get a whole lots of answers from Tacitus.  including how the world and the gods came to be.  so Little Tenin is not the only one here having an existential crisis.  our minds are blown six ways fucking sideways as he talks about how the Teme-rasadar are the void and everything came from them.  deities also need constant worship otherwise they just...fade away.  

we learn that Velevan’s paired herself with a god of undeath,  so her weakness will be anything anti-undead,  but as for breaking the claim she has on Xaren’s soul,  it unfortunately can’t be done.  so i guess it’s confirmed that we’ll be literally punching her in the face.  he also drops the bomb on us that Lucky is a fucking lich,  which explains their fascination with the temple of the dead,  and right now;  they’re out there.  he says they’re not harming anyone currently,  but they’re very powerful.

he tells me that Asri is in the country,  but can’t give me exact deets.  he knows that she visited the Underdark awhile ago and also that Xaren’s dad is on the surface now.  literal goddess Sabella shows up in elven form to come speak with us and our minds are fucking blown again.

i ask her if my blood’s tainted cuz the whole lich thing and she says there’s nothing...lichy (loud booing)...in my blood,  but the Kociak bloodline is cursed.  prone to insatiable wanderlust and something more,  though she can’t say what.  the curse was a trade-off for Lucky’s lichdom,  so thanks,  asshole.  i ask her why Asri was in the Underdark and she says it’s a part of the curse.  she was seeking someone out,  though she can’t say who.  possible drow/catfolk combo striking again??  just a Game Theory.  

i’m worried that the curse is the reason Asri was a piece of shit,  but Sabella reassures me that it has nothing to do with the curse as i’m cursed too,  but a decent person.  we ask of Remy’s fate and learn that Lucky used them as a sacrifice and the reason Remy is reaching out to Xaren is to tell him something important or perhaps to even tell him that Lucky is near.

after that ominous shit,  Sabella allows Xaren to see his brothers and he gets a touching reunion.  he catches them up on some things and slowly realizes that he desperately doesn’t wanna accept whatever Velevana has for him now.  as we all watch,  i think about hugging Sabella,  but restrain myself cuz hey,  that’s a goddess.  much to my surprise,  she turns around and hugs me and my soul has transcended every possible plane and i may be in love.  Sabella hands out some more hugs to everyone like a goddamn pez dispenser and once we’re back in Tacitus’s office,  she’s gone.

we say our farewells to heaven and he kindly teleports us back to the material plane.

[ntdstories]

This Ain’t Play Play ( Christopher One Shot)

   The day is here! Next Town Down comes to Miami as one of the stops on their “Good Times” tour. I found the complete outfit I wanted to wear to this event. Easy to put on, comfortable and had my “ gluteous maximum ” looking right in this Fashion Nova bodycon dress. “Your man is out there on the loose!” I sang from the top of my lungs in the front row as if my ex who did me dirty was in the room. Seeing the boys perform was amazing. They were on point with the melodies, notes and dance moves. I was so appreciative to be a Townie. Especially, a Chris girl gazing at him hit those high notes live. In a blink, just like that, the concert is over. I went to go stand in line to encounter the boys. I purchased the most expensive I could get. I wanted to encounter the boys that I’ve spamming on Twitter for months almost getting my account deleted on several occasions. “NEXT!” the security guard shouts. Finally, my turn is here. I hugged and greeted all the boys and ending with Chris. Y’all know I had to leave the best for last ya dig? So Chris and I spoke a little bit since I was the last in line and they had a little Townie party for those who paid for that VIP Meet and Greet package.    I was assuring him who I was through social media. “So how long have you’ve been a Townie?” He questioned. “For a couple of months now since November of 2017. I’ve tweeted you a couple of times and sent some DM’s your way. I’m @annathegemini on Twitter and Instagram.” I replied. Suddenly, his eyes darkened. Christopher looked around to see if any witness would be around for what he was about to do next. “Come here.” grabbing me aggressively yet swiftly by my left ass cheek luring me into what he tried to make it seem like he was just giving a supportive hug to a fan. He whispered into my ear "So you're one that keeps talking all that shit, huh?"At this point, I am alarmed but aroused so I proceeded with his little game."Hmm, you sound kinda pressed?" I said mocking him in a baby voice. Silly of me to think I wasn’t going to regret that. He gripped my ass even harder and stated to me "You know what... I'm gonna put that mouth to work since you like to run that shit so much." I bite my lip and uttered "That’s so cute. Is that suppose to be a threat or a weak ass promise? I don't like waste my time on the very small things."He let me go and gave me stank look as he adjusted his belt but it wasn't over.

    A few minutes later, I got a DM on Twitter from Chris to encounter him the bathroom. “What are you smiling so hard at?” The words of my friend who came to the concert with me snapped me out it. “Oh, nothing. I’m just overjoyed I got to witness the boys living their dreams.”I lied.“Whatever I guess.”She rolled her eyes. She’s really isn’t the biggest fan of the boys. My phone started vibrating and flashing like crazy as if it were the fire alarm during a primary school drill. It was Christopher blowing me up with messages because I want coming fast enough. “Leave me alone, Eisenberg…” is what replied before I happily skipped my ass to the bathroom. Walking to the bathroom not thinking too much about it. Chris came out the boondocks grabbing me and urged me up against the wall as he was locking the door. "Shit" is what I thought to myself because I know my walls were gonna be ruined by a Jewish light skin. I flicked him on the forehead, “Are you crazy? Grabbing me like that!” Before I could flick him again he caught my hand in the air and retained them. “Stop hitting me!” he barked at me. We were wrestling like dogs in the bathroom. He was growing more and more frustrated with me.    Christopher put his hands under my dress as I was kicking him and pulled my panties to the side and slide his fingers. I stopped opposing him. I continue to slight moaned, but I still spoke my shit because I wasn't letting go on this foreplay easily. "Listen here... Tickle me, Elmo." I done pissed his ass off, and that's when I knew I fucked up. He shoved his fingers in way past knuckle deep. We stared at each other knowing this was going to get dangerous. His eyes lacked mercy and mines lacked regret. His fingers were soaked in my honey just dripping as he slid them out of me and into his own mouth, licking around his own his own fingers just to taste what's about to come (no pun intended).    Internally, my soul was shaken but Christopher unbuckled his belt to pull out this thing was more going to destroy more than just my walls. Erect and ready to go. Christopher was frustrated with me. He pushed me up against the wall firmly grasping me by the throat. Kissing me sloppily, dragging his lips to my ear breathing heavily into it. He turned me around said " I… am… fucking… tired of your shit."He broke his grip on my neck and I gasped trying to recollect my conventional breathing pattern. Bending me over, he inserted himself into me. I let out a deep loud moan.

   In haste, he put his hand over my mouth and put two of his fingers down my throat just to gag me. "Shut the fuck up!" he growled towards me into my neck as he was beating my walls! With the other hand, he tightened his grip on my wrists as he possessed my arms down behind my back putting pressure on my arch so I wouldn’t be competent to move. He knows I will try to fight him, and he wasn’t having it anymore with me. Christopher was totally in control. Every stroke, every hit, every wall that went down like a tree in the middle of the rainforest. He finally let me go and flipped me over dragging my ass closer to him. He was nowhere near finished with me. “Chri-chri-christopher!” I moaned as a tear streamed down my cheek. He smiled when he noticed the tear and told me “ Don’t punk out me now.” giving me long and slow strokes just to tease me. He tosses my legs over his broad shoulders leaning in over me putting his body weight on me while pressing his thumbs into the back of my thighs gripping them hard so he can make sure that I felt every single hit he laid out into me. Biting my lips to brace myself for the impact of his manhood ramming inside just rearranging my organs. Chris’s stamina consumed me.Digging my nails into his back absorbing everything that was him. He elevated himself up, and his strokes were slowing down. “No! Please!” I pull his face back towards me kissing him passionately. I didn’t want him going anywhere. “Shit!” he whispered.“Ugh, you’re so damn wet. Fuck.”Out of nowhere, Christopher pulled out still fully loaded. Nevertheless, my legs were still on shoulders. He stood there staring down. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He looked up at me and started rubbing his thumb against my clit. “Man, your pussy so pretty.” I blushed at his words. Christopher wasted no time demonstrating me his appreciation. My left rolled like Terence’s in the first Q&A video when he kissed. His tongue was putting in that work down there. As Tre would say he was locked in. Up, down, left, right… There wasn’t a particular place that his tongue didn’t explore. He was worse than Dora. This man was a complete genius paying gold to my clit the way he did. Every single flick and suck possessed my whole entire body to quiver. Bitch, I was drained. He notices that I was starting to slip off the counter from spazzing so much and didn’t want me to get hurt by anything that wasn’t him so he kissed my inner thigh, gathered me up and deposited me down on the floor so he can accomplish what he established prior. Christopher was getting tired so climbed on top of me to execute the last couple of good strokes he had left in him. I wrapped my legs around his waist locking my ankles tightly to get him in there even deeper. Noticing that the fatigue was starting come over him I wanted these last few strokes to be soul snatching. His moans were in sync with mines as we were both achieving our climax. Holding my hands over my head just digging in deeper and deeper. He pulled out to stroke himself a few times to release his milky colored gold across my stomach. Being the freak bitch that I am… I decided to taste what he was made of. I wanted to grasp what he was about. His kids were using my belly button as a community swimming pool. I was his cum rag in human form and I've never been so proud of myself. Christopher collapsed next to me on the floor smiling from ear to ear. Both us just on the floor just trying to regain our breath. He kept kissing and wrapping his arms around me as we were fixing ourselves to go back to the public.”Boy, are you in love or something?” Instead of him giving a slick answer, Christopher blushed and said “Maybe.”

    He tapped my ass again and told me " I'm gonna make you respect me, little girl."I turned around and joked "Little girl? I'm older than you by 3 months."We started cracking up. He kissed my shoulder, neck, and cheek before he leaves the bathroom first. I forgot my friend was waiting for me. I came out about 5 minutes after he had left and caught up with my friend. "Damn, girl you were in the bathroom for over an hour! Are you okay?" I blushed and said, “Nah, I’m alright.” I was trying to hide my crooked way of walking so she wouldn't know that I had just gotten my ass pounded in the bathroom by one of the members of the group. “YO CHRIS!” Tre shouted, “Where were you, man? We're looking for you for an hour.”He just smiled looking down and said “Sorry man. I was talking to a Townie, and you can say we kinda got carried away…”

The end.