#death erasure and voice

[elreyciervo]

Death, Erasure, and Voice Fanarts (Group 1)

Hi everyone! So several people have made some awesome fanart of my Bleach/MHA crossover Death, Erasure, and Voice. These have been collected from my Bleach/MHA Discord server, and I've been given permission to post them on here!

1) Ichigo Breaks by Discord user Green/AkaiSafire

2) Ichigo in Yhwach's Castle by Artistic Hermit (@artistichermit)

3) Nezu Guides Ichigo in His Office by Discord User Fey

4) Ichigo and Aizawa Caught Sneaking by Discord User Green/AkaiSafire

5a) Ichigo Holds Kioku

5b) Ichigo Gets Emotional Over Kioku

5c) Ichigo Holds Kioku Who Cuddles Him (all by @artistichermit)

6) Ichigo Reading, Bathing in Moonlight by Discord User Green/AkaiSafire

7) Ichigo and the absolute big boy that is Kioku the cat by Artistic Hermit

8) Ichigo Surrounded by Susu and Kioku and Zan's Blades by GreenBirdGreen

I track #death erasure and voice if you are interested in making fanart or fanfics! Or you can also @ me, which would be faster lol

And if you are interested, feel free to join my Bleach/MHA server! (https://discord.gg/JNWNJdSWZV)

[elreyciervo]

SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP

Omg I DID NOT expect this at all! Ahhhh first fanart for Death, Erasure, and Voice! @greenbirdgreen THANK U SO SO MUCH FOR THIS LOVELY FANART, I HAVEN'T STOPPED LOOKING AT IT FOR 5MINS NOW

The Hell Butterflies! The cats! *Gasps*

AND UR TAGS!!

Ur compliments make me cry, thank u so much for ur kind words.

AND THE POSE! I didn't know that seiza was historically used to show deference and obedience, but omg the BRAIN WORM I have now of him being trained into it. U HAVE A BIG BRAIN and now u have inspired me. 👀 Time for moar angst

i very much enjoyed @elreyciervo 's bleach x mha fic Death, Erasure, Voice and so i drew ichigo from it!!

[arioko]

aizawa experienced a quirk awakening, specifically during shirakumo’s death.

analysis? insane ramblings?? me looking too deep into things??? these all can be true. let’s just get into the meat and potatoes of this first and foremost.

quirk awakenings in my hero academia are usually defined by a quirk either gaining new abilities or going beyond the original scope of the quirk. an example of this is when toga found out she could use the quirks of people she transformed into, or dabi finding out he also had an ice aspect to his quirk similar to shoto. these awakenings are extremely rare, are only seem to happen during traumatic, life threatening circumstances.

one of the most recognizable things about aizawa is how his hair and capture weapon will float whenever he uses his quirk, and something i don’t think i’ve seen anyone else point out is the fact that in vigilantes, during the school days arc, teen aizawa’s erasure doesn’t do this at all.

these are two of the instances where we see teen aizawa use his quirk, and his hair and capture weapon don’t levitate like they usually do. “maybe they forgot,” and here’s the thing, i don’t think that’s the case? like i said earlier, aizawa’s floating hair and scarf are one of the most recognizable aspects of his design, to the point that in universe deku even points it out. betten court, the artist of vigilantes, had been drawing aizawa for 50+ chapters at this point, so i sincerely doubt he genuinely forgot to add this.

even here, for a second you think that his hair is floating here, but then you see that he’s actively moving and that’s why he’s hair is flowing backwards. almost like they’re tricking you into thinking that it’s floating before showing you what’s actually happening.

so, basically, back when aizawa was a teenager, his quirk didn’t do any sort of levitation effect. which, eventually, leads to this.

the first time we ever see aizawa’s quirk do the levitation effect, it’s during one of the most traumatic moments of his life, the garvey fight. this was specifically after he had witnessed shirakumo’s death.

and when do quirk awakenings usually happen? after extremely traumatic experiences. which was what aizawa had experienced just seconds before. keep in mind that aizawa was so on edge during the fight that he (supposedly) hallucinated shirakumo’s voice cheering him on. there was most likely multiple other physical things going on as a result of the stress and adrenaline rush, so a quirk awakening isn’t exactly too extreme here.

how does this aid his quirk? i dunno, but it falls into the quirk awakening category by virtue of the fact that it wasn’t something his quirk was thought to be capable of doing prior to the event. we aren’t sure if erasure worked differently when aizawa was younger.

so, tl:dr, teen aizawa’s erasure didn’t cause a levitation effect, however, after witnessing shirakumo’s death, it caused a quirk awakening which created the levitation effect we see in the present.

[doctorbunny]

The Jackalope Guide [spoilers for both novels]

I skimmed through the first manga, second novel, side S/W and my memories so hopefully I've not forgotten anything important [text version under cut]

Jackalopes of MILGRAM:

Novel 1

Female/described as having a "woman's voice"

Uses atashi/アタシ pronoun (pretty bog standard feminine pronoun)

Goes by "Jacka"

Requests Es call her a jackalope and not a rabbit [note: there is a Jp equivalent of the phrase "flying pig" 亀毛兎角 kimoutokaku "turtles with fur, rabbits with horns" referring to something impossible, this phrase may be linked to jackalopes]

Newer at her job (compared to other Jackalopes in the series)

Works from a branch office of MILGRAM HQ (reports back to her boss remotely via big TV)

Sadist who enjoys human bloodshed (at one point even giving a stressed out Nervous a box cutter to self harm with, just like the kind she used to use, so Sumi could see who )

Likes organising MILGRAMs with "aesthetic" (IE all of Sumi's prisoners being involved in her death)

In order to prevent information being spoiled too early uses powers to stop the prisoners breathing until they stop trying to talk

Accidentally allows Twoside to give away information too early, spoiling her own MILGRAM

Her and her MILGRAM considered failures (punishable by purging)

Her 'vessel' is chained up by another jackalope (probably youtube jackalope) at the end of the novel then purged but the person was able to escape (because she was in the Branch Office)

Current location/situation unknown (but said to be alive)

Novel 2

Male/described as having a "young man's voice"

Uses jibun/自分 pronoun (slightly unusual as a main pronoun feels kind of soldier-like)

Also goes by "Jacka"

Has run many successful MILGRAMs in the past (allowed to take risks like Torch being the Es of Novel 2)

Works at MILGRAM HQ

Takes smoke breaks after trials

Talks to boss during smoke breaks

Boss is probably Youtube Jackalope

Hates bloodshed and doesn't care about the aesthetics or drama of a MILGRAM

When Tatsumi tried to kill Torch, Jacka retaliates by using his powers to take control of Tatsumi's body and make him strangle himself

He stops when Tatsumi passes out/Torch says he doesn't want Tatsumi to die, but if not for Torch, Jacka would've killed him

Hates his job/boss

Relieved to hear that Jacka1 escaped purging

Despite working at milgram for many years, did not know there was a branch office

At the end of the novel he defects from MILGRAM, forming a collaboration with Torch and showing/taking him through the secret exit

Asks Torch how he'd feel if someone he loved was judged guilty by MILGRAM (possibly implied to be something that happened to him?)

Youtube

Male/"Speaks arrogantly"

Uses Ore-sama/オレ様 (comically self important)

Internal monologue in Side W/S uses watashi/私 (significantly less arrogant)

Only goes by Jackalope

Insulted if you call him a rabbit

Appears at the end of the first novel to punish Jacka/judge Sumi

Appears during second novel's post-trial smoke breaks (human form in milgram HQ)

Was the one to approve Torch being a guard even though he didn't think it was a good idea

Hates smoking and asks Jacka2 to not do it

Highly values the aesthetic/elegance of a MILGRAM

Wants a "pure" milgram with the fewest possible distractions in the judgement of sin

Used the same kind of memory erasure on Es that Jacka1 used on everyone

Believes Es needs to trust him for MILGRAM to work

Probably responsible for Es' barrier (the 'hypnosis' lines up with other jackalope's mind/body controlling)

Views end of 2nd novel as the worst event in milgram history

Cooks the food for the prisoners (sheds lots of fur)

[gothhabiba]

An Appeal to Our Food and Hospitality Community to Take Action Now for Gaza

Dear Industry Friends, 

We have come together as chefs, farmers, media makers, business owners, beverage professionals, and food workers from across our industry to call for an immediate ceasefire in Gaza and an end to U.S. support for Israel’s war crimes. We must break the silence around the genocide in Gaza. As of today, more than 7,000 Palestinians have been massacred in less than three weeks. Nearly half of them are children. Over 8,000 bombs have been dropped on Gaza, killing a Palestinian every 5 minutes. After hospitals run out of fuel,  the death toll will rise exponentially. Every second we choose to stay silent, without demanding that our government stop arming Israel with billions of our tax dollars, we allow another massacre to take place. 

We can prevent this violence by refusing to allow our government to fund and arm Israel’s decades-long military occupation. History has shown us that peace and safety for all in the region cannot come from the violent subjugation of Palestinians. We grieve the loss of all innocent life. However, violence begets violence, and we know this latest eruption did not occur in a vacuum. For 75 years, Palestinians have been killed, imprisoned, tortured, and robbed of their land and homes. In Gaza, 2.2 million people — more than half of whom are children — have been living under an inhumane siege for almost 17 years, and are cut off from the world, without access to water, food, or basic amenities needed to live a dignified and healthy life. For those living in Gaza, the last decade has been a slow genocide. 

As cultural stewards in this country, we have the power to counter the dehumanization of Palestinians. Israel has long weaponized food, erasing Palestinian people while claiming their cuisine. Here in the U.S., the appropriation of Palestinian foods as “Israeli” has led to more than Israelis profiting off of Palestinian culture; it is an erasure that has had real implications for Palestinians. It allows us to negate their cultural currency, and turn our attention away with more ease when we see Palestinian death. 

We must join our voices with Palestinians pleading for justice and protection right now. The situation is dire, and no amount of media coverage has discouraged Israel from its policy of ethnic cleansing and land theft as the U.S. government continues to protect Israel from global pressure for a ceasefire. We have been called upon by Palestinian civil society to join their struggle for freedom by joining the global movement for divestment and cultural boycott of Israel until it ends its horrific human rights abuses.

We ask our fellow food and beverage community to take a stand against genocide and ethnic cleansing and commit to three actions with us:

Call your congressional representatives to demand an immediate ceasefire and an end to unconditional U.S. funding of Israel. 

Divest from products, events, and trips that promote Israel until it dismantles its apartheid system and military occupation. 

Invest in events and projects that promote justice for Palestinians, whether connecting to a local organization to learn how to support, or amplify Palestinian voices and support them to share their food and culture on their own terms.

We recognize that this may be difficult given the frightening pressure put on us to remain silent. McCarthyist tactics cannot marginalize and divide us – we know we are not alone as the whole world is rising up against injustice and genocide. Thousands of artists worldwide have publicly endorsed BDS and the cultural boycott of Israel, including musicians, DJs, filmmakers and actors, visual artists, Black artists, Latin American artists, and countless others across all fields and continents. This is in spite of efforts made by Israeli government-linked lobby groups to suppress this solidarity. 

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” —Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

We are all in this industry to affirm life and dignity for everyone. As those who care for others, it is our moral imperative to actively contribute to the care that Palestinians need right now as they struggle to survive and get free. Food and beverage colleagues – it’s time for our community to extend our hospitality and join the movement for a Free Palestine.

Add your name – sign the pledge

[deancasforcutie]

#Chuck perverted Death (even literally by manipulating Billie) as well as heaven and hell and Purgatory #(and still it was never the end of the story) #but once he's been taken care of? new rules all around. bigger playground. more adventures. #who knows what can happen now? #that's how I see it anyway #Dean is in his The Good Place stage (via @ironworked)

Dean is 45 but he's not alive... and so what?

why do we need Dean Winchester to be "alive", when the boundary between the living and the dead is something he can just step over like a threshold??? he's DEAN WINCHESTER. it doesn't matter if he's technically "alive" as long as he's still out there! he can do whatever he wants!! death in the supernatural universe is not the same as in real life. he is "dead" but is that going to stop him???? HELL NO.

sometimes when people talk about wanting Dean to be alive I'm reminded of his dad saying he wished Dean would have a family and Dean was like "I already have a family!" he's good with who he is!! he doesn't need to be living a normal apple pie life to be happy, he's past that now!!!

(disclaimer: the WAY that he died was fucking stupid, obviously. fuckin vampire clown bullshit lmao. rusty nail kill Dean Winchester? ridiculous. the fact that he "died" and went to Heaven? not really a big deal to me, it's just the next chapter of his story)

[tonydaddingham]

✨already on the metatron erasure campaign™ let's fucking go✨:

*EDIT, IMPORTANT* I can't believe i even missed this...but metatron is dressed in a dark coat and (iirc) tie

we know from s1 that metatron has very little patience for aziraphale, was pro-armageddon, and at least claimed to be the voice of God (when my man is basically a glorified answerphone)

the half-and-half miracle was conducted on top of the sigil, the transportation circle through which aziraphale dialled 101-metatron in s1, and we know the miracle ended up being Very Powerful

michael doesn't seem to recognise metatron... which is odd as theyre high ranking, uriel and saraqael seem to recognise him, they've definitely met, and michael was shown in the job minisode to have pretty good recollection for job's kids' names - possible memory wipe? saw something they weren't supposed to?

says he has consumed human matter before - why would metatron have been on earth??? and know what to order in a mf café???

speaking of the café, the dialogue, about people asking for death? "No... I don't suppose they do... So predictable."not sure on what this means but 💀 fckin weirdo

refers to muriel as the dim one but still puts her in charge of a heaven sanctuary on earth? as far as we know, the only one? hmmm seems like you want a puppet metty babes

butters up aziraphale with the sweet, cosy coffee - but indicating that he barely knows him at all given that we mainly see aziraphale drinking tea

what he ordered in the café was a small dash of almond syrup, but then describes it to aziraphale as being a hefty jigger of the stuff, indicating something added? wondering if there's further significance to the laudanum poison - an opiate? planning to essentially kidnap aziraphale knowing that crowley won't come looking now?

'hmm it's nice!" "yes I should jolly well hope so" 😁

a veeeeeery faint miracle chime as the coffee is handed over and when aziraphale raises it to his mouth, but hesitates... He asks "shall i...?" And metty goes:

"DRINK IT???😠 of course🙂"

definitely History™ with crowley; crowley readily recognises him after a moment, the look metatron gave him as they left the shop was filthy, and: "ah well! always did want to go his own way... always asking damn fool questions, too!"... like i get metatron is the voice of God, but was it metatron that actually made crowley fall? does metatron have that power, not exclusively god? did metatron say it was on god's orders?

plus - metatron tells aziraphale that he can reverse falling which, to me, seems like a pretty bomb ass power... and a bit OP even for the highest Archangel of heaven, leading me to:

very low, sultry ass voice, maintaining eye contact with aziraphale - all trademarks of hypnotism (temptation?) behaviour? while aziraphale was possibly drugged?

and was the promise of getting crowley restored to heaven actually a bluff, metatron knowing the aziraphale even attempting to broach it with crowley would split them up?

"go tell your friend the good news!!" Said in a voice that makes me think metty knows it's very Bad News Bears

is the whole thing a ploy to split them up? they came together in heaven, and then again on earth; is metatron trying to solve this one by essentially making aziraphale an offer he can't refuse, but that crowley absolutely will?

why choose the lift? why not just power up the circle and go through the sunroof???

and im sorry metatron but you must realise that aziraphale is severely underqualified right💀

[misspermitted]

Random Vampire Diaries discourse but I’ve been thinking about Bonnie and Kai and why they interest me so much. Because usually TVD’s sexually charged “he’s a terrible person but he’s infatuated with you” thing doesn’t interest me. Like I enjoy watching Klaroline and Delena as a guilty pleasure, but it doesn’t interest me. He’s just obsessed with her, and she eventually brings out the good in him, yada yada the messed up toxic guy brings out her dark side yada yada, she realises her power and so on. And I just don’t really care. I just watch it, and then I move on. I don’t linger on it for days and think about the characters.

But this random Bonnie and Kai thing that went on for 10 episodes, for some reason every so often I just think about them for days on end. And I reckon it’s because what the actors were setting up with them was really unique and not that trope. But then, since TVD is really badly written, after the prison arc they tried to turn it into the “guy is infatuated and redeems for her” and Chris Wood (who plays Kai) legitimately refuses to act that (which, like, good on him). So then they dropped the Bonnie/Kai storyline and just made him a villain.

But what were they then? At least originally? Because every time I get obsessed with these characters I go into fanon and it ruins my obsession, because it’s just that whole “evil guy is infatuated” thing all over again and it just doesn’t feel like them.

So let’s go through my reading of the Bonnie/Kai prison arc:

For me, what originally caught my attention about these two was that I thought Bonnie was the actually obsessed one. At least at first.

How Bonnie acts during their first scenes together

Bonnie spends seasons without her magic and this random guy shows up and gets under her skin so much she actually unlocks it? What? And the reason given is that she needed to save Damon but the spirits had straight up taken her magic. Her friends have been in life and death situations for ages and she couldn’t do anything about it to the point where she takes on dark magic. Clearly it is not just a desire to save her friends that unlocks it. And her becoming anchor does not change the fact that it had been confiscated. Forever. Who is this random guy that got her to unlock it by just taunting her?

And then she spends the whole first few conversations legitimately flirting back with this guy. Who just tried to kill her friend. When Bonnie doesn’t flirt with people. Like we have never seen Bonnie (until now, no bonenzo erasure) actually be interested in any villain ever. She typically just glares at them.

And that’s something that gets me about their dynamic. Bonnie acts so different around Kai than she does with anyone else. When Bonnie has dealt with evil sociopaths before. This guy is not new.

Bonnie tries to kill Kai (the first time)

What does Bonnie do when dealing with evil vampires or evil warlocks? Usually shes the one who is the voice of reason. With the plan. Who comes in at the end and saves everyone. Not Kai. She straight up throws an axe at him. On a hunch. When he actually hasn’t done anything that bad.

Bonnie doesn’t kill people a lot before this point. Unless she thinks it’s necessary. And they have to have done something really bad and she actually seems upset afterwards. But not Kai. Literally all he does is threaten them a little, offer to be friends, and kill his family 20 years before. Which is incredibly low stakes given the other stuff people do in TVD. Why does he get under her skin so much?

It’s so weird to me that she’s so against letting him out. I mean Bonnie is stubborn and has a strong sense of justice, but she also does bad stuff for the greater good. It’s far more like her to let him out for the greater good of getting them both out, and then stop him. But she’s not actually being reasonable.

Even Damon calls her on it. How she’s acting more impulsive and negative than he is. Just because Kai exists. It’s a level of caring and irritation that we don’t actually see from Bonnie a lot, who is usually cool and collected and strong.

How Kai acts in most of the prison world arc together

Kai meanwhile acts towards her how he later acts towards Elena. Flirty and off putting. Though he does later seem to realise that Bonnie is legitimately impressive and useful in a way that he decides Elena isn’t (which is just factually true). But Kai (in the first half) is a sociopath who uses people for his own benefit, and that is exactly how he treats Bonnie.

Especially later, after Damon is gone, he tries to play the sympathy card so many times and the “you’re different” tactic, but it’s all a lie and Bonnie is aware of it. And this it the other thing that I love about their dynamic, Bonnie is clearly very diverted and unsettled by this guy, but she is not an idiot. She has watched Caroline and Elena both fall for bad boys saying that they'll "change" for them. And she has spent the whole time saying they're being incredibly stupid. And she doesn’t turn from that awareness.

In my opinion, that’s the first thing that makes Kai act differently around her, the realisation that she is not gonna fall for any of that. He waits four months to manipulate them, and then suddenly is really impatient about when to do the spell? Why? And I think it’s because he realises that he’s not gonna get her to agree for long. She’s too observant. She figured out who he was so goddamn quickly. And she’s only gonna be scared for so long.

Kai takes her to his house

It’s so weird for Kai to take her to his house. He knew how to get out. He could’ve just left her. And it would’ve been less risky, since it’s clear at this point that he treats her as a danger.

Like he could just kill her. It would be safer to kill her. Bur he doesn’t. He brings her to his house. To gloat? He never seems interested in doing that before now. He’s cool for them to view him as irritating or a child or something to be scared of, depends on what’s useful. You don’t even see him gloat to Jo.

And this actually makes sense. Kai doesn’t care. Why would he need to gloat. He has a goal and he just needs to achieve it. Once he achieves it his revenge will be done and he will have won. He doesn’t have to villain monologue. He won. That’s satisfying enough.

In my opinion this is where Kai stops acting normal towards Bonnie. Like she’s just something to use for his goal. Or, rather, his goal changes.

Kai says he brings Bonnie to his house because he’s never had someone to share it with before. I feel like he might actually be telling the truth here, because it’s the only thing that makes sense.

Kai tries to manipulate Bonnie the day before wearing all his possible masks. An abomination making her scared and powerless. A misunderstood monster playing on sympathy, flattering her and saying he wants to be like her. And he believes it works. But it doesn’t. Bonnie not only outsmarts him, she outsmarts him and mocks the masks he wore. She take his manipulative bear that is supposed to be his attempts at fake kindness, and literally sends it away. He spends the whole first half of the day repeatedly trying to scare her and make her feel powerless, and her counter plan is all about how she is not powerless at all. He’s not in control. He needs her magic. And that’s hers. She controls it. And now it’s not here anymore. You’re welcome 😇

And while this is incredibly iconic of Bonnie, and irritating for him, it also means Bonnie sees past all those masks. For a guy who’s clearly used to pretending. For a guy who was always seen as an abomination even when he wasn’t. It clearly interests him that she actually just doesn’t see him as a monster, at least in any superficial way that he can use. Bonnie Bennet knew him well enough to know that he was lying.

So Kai brings Bonnie to the place where all of his memories are. Where he grew up. Where he killed his family and the blood is still there. And it’s clearly not to gain her trust through being misunderstood (the blood is still there, and he shows absolutely no attempt at remorse). And he is legitimately cordial and doesn’t restrain her, so he’s not purposefully trying to make her powerless or scared. So what’s his angle?

This is the thing, where Kai acts different as well. He shows resentment about his upbringing when he mentions it, not sadness or any pity based emotions. He babbles and cooks because he (as we learn) likes cooking. Bonnie later interprets it as him trying to gain her trust just to betray her out of sadism, but 1. Kai isn’t actually a sadist. Kai likes control, and can get angry and violent. He doesn’t care if he’s stabbing someone or not. We see it as he gets out, violence and manipulation is a means to an end. Always. And there is no end aside from revenge for him to try to betray Bonnie. Especially because Bonnie has been very clear that she will not trust him.

Then there’s the fact that he is not, as we’ve addressed, actually doing anything that would lead to trust. None of the previous masks. He’s actually being very open and generally having dinner with a psycho in the house covered in blood stains from when he killed children is not a trust building exercise. (Honestly, kind of weird that she thinks it was supposed to be. What, were you actually warming up to him during that dinner? A little suspicious Bonnie.)

But if, instead, Kai is doing all this to share himself with Bonnie. To be seen. He’s so irritated when she doesn’t understand: “Can’t you see I’m trying to apologise?” And then she very clearly states that she is not interested in spending any time with him, seeing anything, sharing anything, aside from the last dinner.

And we wonder why he puts it off, if his entire plan is just to stab her, leave, and gloat with a pager. Why does he drag the dinner longer than necessary? He’s about to leave, he’s been impatient to leave this entire time, but he actually puts it off. There is no reason to. He’s about to be around so many people to communicate with, but he wants to spend as much time with Bonnie as possible. Why??

And if the ascendant can only be used in the Mystic Falls tunnels, and he flies all the way to Portland, and it’s getting dark when he grabs the knife in the tree stump, then he puts off his return for an entire day. Just to eat spaghetti. Really slowly.

It only makes sense if he’s there specifically because his goal is to hang out with her. He wants to share. She pretty much acknowledges this and says she will never, ever care or like him. Stop trying to share with her. Leave her alone. Which, if he’s this excited about being seen, would be infuriating for him.

How Bonnie acts after he leaves

What really got me about the whole arc, though, is how Bonnie talks about what happens. Because that really shows how weird these two are.

Bonnie is furious with Kai and when she’s explaining what she went through to Damon, and doesn’t emphasise the stabbing or the manipulation as the worst part, but that Kai left her. All alone. He abandoned her.

Which is crazy, because that is so intimate for a complaint. But that is what she holds on to. Damon didn’t abandon her, even though he did. Her friends didn’t abandon her, even though they did. This random sociopathic guy abandoned her. Bonnie has the opposite of an abandonment complex, she is constantly overlooked and left and never gets mad about it, except this one time. With Kai. Who there shouldn’t have even been expectations about.

But it’s clear they were both aware there was. Despite Kai promising to leave her alone after a last dinner, his message isn’t “have fun” or something like that, it’s “I lied.” But he didn’t lie? He left her alone?

It’s like they were both aware that he was sharing and there was an expectation there. Where she would say she wanted to be left alone but he wouldn’t do it anyway, and she would keep paying attention anyway. That they were gonna play the “follow you around” intimacy game. Except Kai is like, woops jokes on you I can get out and I’m not taking you with me. Even though it was a given that I was gonna try to win you over, for fun. I know the hell I just condemned you to, enjoy.

Post Kai getting emotions (sort of)

And this reading gives an entirely new light to their first interactions post Kai getting emotions and how furious she is that he is trying to get her attention. Because fuck off, I gave you my attention and you left me. We’re not doing that again. You get nothing from me.

And also why he can’t stop thinking about her. Let’s be honest, the “I want to be forgiven” is bullshit. It’s far more, “I’m a new me and I want to be seen.” And Bonnie just refuses to. Not this time. I will not understand Kai as more than a monster. He doesn’t deserve that from me.

Kai asks her to spend the afternoon with her and she says no. Fuck you. You don’t get me to willingly walk into your house again. Fuck off.

It’s just so weird and personal especially to Bonnie. Like this is where I think they were getting Bonkai wrong. Kai is always shown as so unbelievably obsessed with her, but he doesn’t really think about her until she gets back. And it’s with the same weird determination that Kai gets about all goals.

It’s Bonnie who is so out of character. Despite all the stuff she’s been through and abuse she’s suffered, it’s Kai somehow that changes her. And makes her more emotional. Bonnie is the one that is weirdly touchy about it all and structures her life around (not) seeing him. Bonnie is the one that’s unreasonable about her reactions to him.

And it was so fun seeing a female character, especially the “saviour” female character, be so concerningly “enemies to lovers” obsessive over a guy, and the guy being so oblivious to it. Like it’s funny seeing all of Bonnie’s friends go “maybe you should chill out about Kai” and her just go “NO.” Meanwhile Kai’s just over here like “so Bonnie can see through everyone including me, so if I can convince her there’s a new me, that’s confirmation that I’ve changed 😊 Ah she’s so pretty I wish she’d stop trying to kill me. But Bonnie’s just like that I guess.” But she’s not. She’s not like that at all!!

I wish they’d explored it more but at the same time, if Julie Plec was gonna fuck it up then I’m okay with them going the villain route.

[comrade-kimberly]

From Palestine To The World, October 2024 by Queers In Palestine.

Language: Unworded by colonial violence, resisting erasure

After a year of an ongoing genocide, ethnic cleansing, attempts of expansion by the Zionist settler-colonial project, and of our ongoing steadfast global revolt, we are delivering a message from Palestine, to the world, while words cannot convey the depths of our collective trauma or the radical resistance we embody. Words collapse as we bear witness to the destruction of bodies, lands, histories, and futures. Language can no longer hold the weight of our suffering, our rage, our endless grief. It cannot do justice to our feelings and experiences. While capitalism and colonialism’s forces of death and destruction are wounding the world, we are still determined to deliver our voice, we are still moved by the force of life, and will always move with and towards it.

Palestine and Lebanon: One land in grief and struggle

The Zionist colonial entity still exists because colonial and imperialist powers are supporting and funding it. These are the same powers that produced the Sykes-Picot colonial agreement that fragmented Palestine, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan and other Arab nations in 1916 by enforcing borders on our lands. We live with the implications of these systems. We deeply embody the knowledge of this violence, and have been trying to warn the world that these powers neither see our humanity nor respect our sovereignty. The world’s promises of justice and accountability through colonial international laws and institutions only reproduce violence and harm with no transformation. The very existence of these colonial powers is built on the (social) death and exploitation of others. The same tactics of annihilation that have been used in Gaza since last October are now also used in Lebanon. They are reaching us all––from surveillance tools of political repression, to weapons for direct killings. From corporations to other colonial structures, if we do not dismantle these systems, they will continue to consume us all.

Zionism: Threat against humanity

Zionist settler colonialism has been perpetrated against the land of Yemen, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, and Palestine. But it does not stop there: Zionism is a global threat. While Palestine is used as the Zionist entity’s testing-ground to develop technologies of oppression (including cyber invasions and technological warfare) to control the people and suppress resistance worldwide, these Zionist inventions are exported and used for state violence to further colonial, imperial and capitalist expansion. The Zionist entity’s influence extends to geopolitics and resource extraction across Latin America and Africa––from mining projects in Namibia, to diamond extraction in Angola, and ‘Cop City’ in the USA–– and its aggression can only be contained through struggle and abolition.

The myth of individualism and separation

Individualism is an instrument of the systems of (neo)liberalism, racial capitalism and colonialism. It is designed to destroy our collectives and community practices through fragmentation and separation––from each other, the land, the planet and universe, and from ourselves. The illusion of separation denies our autonomy, our sovereignty over our bodies and land. We resist this colonial myth of individualism that serves oppressive systems. We are interdependent and our struggles are interconnected and intersectional––there is no such thing as individual liberation. No one is free, until we are all free.

On the path of abolition and transformation

Our reality, and our queer, feminist, radical truths, cannot be quantified. They cannot be reduced to data, to screens, to consumable images. The genocidal violence we face and resist everyday, is not an event to be documented. This deep rupture is a tearing apart of the fabric of life that demands something more than mere speech. It demands action and transformation. And it necessitates abolition. Abolition not just through the dismantling of prisons and the destruction of all carceral systems—but the refusal of all structures that seek to imprison and kill our bodies, our desires, our lands, our futures. Abolition is a direct confrontation with the forces that seek to erase us on the path towards life-affirming and systemic transformation, it is to radically imagine and build a different future from the present.

Hope as a radical practice

Our bodies ache with exhaustion, our spirits bruised by the relentless weight of oppression. In this land stolen from us, where we live the genocide in our every moment, hope is a radical practice. We are warriors, survivors, rebels. We will not be extinguished. The world’s indifference is a betrayal––we know that. We will not allow our disappointment to consume us. Fuelled by our collective rage and grief, we unite and empower us. Still amidst these difficult times, we channel our hope as a collective force of resistance to the very foundation of these unjust systems, in Palestine and everywhere. We will not only survive this genocide, we will thrive––reclaiming our stolen land and building a future free from the chains of patriarchy, colonialism, capitalism and zionism.

Constant transformative struggle towards collective liberation

One year later, we continue to call for the world to:

Be radical, feminist, queer, intersectional, decolonial, and abolitionist in our resistances: fuelled by rage, love and longing for justice, transformation and collective liberation.

Resist the hegemonic colonial narrative: do not stop talking about Palestine with your kin, queer siblings, friends and community. Challenge the colonial and Islamophobic framing of Palestinian and racialized voices as antisemitic.

Escalate all forms of disruption of the colonial and capitalist systems enabling this violence. Rage and strike against the use of your labor and tax money to fund, support, and endorse settler colonialism and genocide. Fight against governments and hold them accountable for their military, diplomatic, economic, and political relations with and support to Israel.

Rage and grieve as radical forces for change: together we channel our anger and grief towards a world free of Zionism and all other systems of oppression.

Radically imagine a different world and put this imagination into practice by organizing to fight current systems and build the future from the present.

Always re-membering: honoring those we have lost, and standing steadfast in resistance by all means possible.

[salpho]

We need to talk about what happened with Mike D.

For those who don't know, Mike D, co-creator of Bendy, has stated that Thomas Connor is a white man. He's done this before with Norman Polk, too. Because of this, drama has arose which led him to make his account private, and shortly after, deleted.

This thread on Twitter gives details of what happened, screenshots provided for those who can't view it below-

I must state as a disclaimer that no matter what he's like, past or present, we should not seriously be wishing death on him. The person who said they wished death on him has since retracted their statement, as said and shown in the thread above.

The two characters, Thomas and Norman, were nearly universally agreed upon to be black men, and have been implied and coded to be black through their voices, their interactions with other characters (especially in the books) and likely many more things I've missed, only to then be revealed to be canonically white.

Mike D has also stated (correct me if wrong) that he believes minorities are forced, unless the character's identity helps the story. Think of Buddy from Dreams Come To Life being Jewish, and how his religion effected his story.

This is erasure. The fact they decanonised the books that show these important interactions, the fact they led us on, being told your identity or race must serve a purpose in fiction, is all erasure. If you are part of a minority and see a character like you have that part of them stripped away or forgotten, it sends the message that people like you must be censored and eradicated, especially knowing how many minorities were treated historically. Being told minorities are forced unless given a greater purpose in storytelling reinforces the idea that being part of any minority is abnormal and thus, wrong.

TheMeatly has recently addressed that the cutouts used in all games post-BATIM had (accidentally) stolen fanart and plans to use a new texture in future games. This is proof that he has improved as Bendy merchandise has used fanarts without permission years ago.

In contrast, I have yet to see Mike D improving on any of his past actions. I really do hope he does, but right now, things do not seem hopeful. He must understand the messages he's spreading, intentional or not, and improve.

EDIT - There are actually some signs regarding his improvement in other areas. When the KindlyBeast team was laid off, he did make an apology post for them, and his "We make stupid games for stupid kids" quote doesn't seem to apply seeing the M ratings newer games are getting. Courtesy to the other Bendy wiki staff to giving me these points.

However, I do think there's still an issue with how he views minorities. Here's to hoping for the best.

[elreyciervo]

(click for quality) I drew Ichigo's most recent outfit from my fic Death, Erasure, and Voice. You can read chapter 1 [here]. Don't mind the boots, I know they're wonky lol

And if you want to see more art, [here] is a link to the first group of fanart for the fic!

[sirenium]

Misandry is men getting laughed at when they come out about being sexually or physically abused. Misandry is the suicide rates of men, and the normalization of telling men to just deal with their problems, to 'man up' whenever they have issues. Misandry is the generalization that men are all aggressive and dangerous. Misandry is painting testosterone as a poison. Transandrophobia is the demonization of masculine trans men and mascs, telling them that T will ruin their body, that bottom surgery is disgusting. Transandrophobia is shoving the words 'male privilege' down a trans man's throat when they dare speak up about the harmful way we are treated in the community. Transandrophobia is the erasure of our issues, of our deaths, of our oppression. It's treating being transmasculine as so much easier than being transfeminine. It's making fun of a trans guy's voice, pointing out their chest as an excuse to misgender them, simultaneous expectations of masculinity and femininity (if you stopped being so masculine then people wouldn't be afraid of you! oh but not like that, now you just look like a woman so your manhood isn't valid). It's infantilization, and demonization of those who cannot be infantilized.

[jessamine-rose]

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ Ghost Heart ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

Long before A Winter Night’s Lazzo, I was already down bad for a certain Harbinger. This idea for Yandere! Scaramouche/ Wanderer randomly manifested at 1:00 a.m. and, like a fool, I decided to write it. It is my sincere wish that you all cry over enjoy this fic (*´ω`*)

Tw:: yandere, manipulation, mention of death and kidnapping, 3.3 spoilers

♡ 3k words under the cut ♡

“You’re still here.”

There is nothing grand about this specific Desert House. The rental space is sparsely furnished, fit for a party of two. Everything is the way Scaramouche had left it—an unmade bed, a small suitcase, a set of chains reduced to solitary links.

A vintage tea set sits on the table. One cup is filled with tea, a bitter blend judging by the scent. The other cup is empty.

The Wanderer crosses the threshold and approaches the ghost on the floor.

Not a ghost. His beloved.

Somehow, your countenance has dimmed since his departure. Dried tears and dark eye circles decorate your face. Your gaze is blank, lifeless, akin to that of a doll.

“Why…why are you here?” He raises his voice, unable to hide his disbelief.

His chest feels heavy. Though no organ beats within, the concept of heartache comes to mind. Behind him, a strong gust of wind assails the forest and slams the door shut.

Your response is a confused frown.

“Do I know you?”

You’ve forgotten him.

The revelation stings despite his preconceived knowledge. In his defense, the Wanderer hadn’t intended a lover’s reunion. He only returned to this place to reminisce, to confirm your freedom, to see if he could settle for any memento of you.

So what prevented you from leaving?

It was your prisoner, Scaramouche, who destroyed your chains prior to the erasure of his existence. His current self is the last person whom you should be crossing paths with.

The Wanderer only offers a false smile.

“I’m just another person passing through,” he says lightly. He introduces himself with his new name suggested by the Traveler.

“I see…” You repeat his name to yourself. Similar to his previous monikers, it has never sounded more lovely in your voice.

Nor so innocent. Fear, hatred, sorrow, pity, joy, fondness—all of those familiar sentiments are lost in your tone.

It is difficult to maintain his composure. “You haven’t answered my question. What are you doing in this house? Nothing about you screams ‘happy tourist.’”

“I don’t know.”

The answer comes out in a whisper. After a few seconds of silence, you finally stand up and make proper eye contact with him.

“My name is ______,” you tell him. “Please excuse my appearance; nobody has visited this place before. I’m aware that I look like a wreck.”

“That is an understatement,” he replies matter-of-factly. “I nearly mistook you for a ghost. So why don’t you explain your circumstances before I consider sending you to Bimarstan?”

“...All right.” Looking away, you take a seat at the table.

The Wanderer joins you.

You fill his teacup. “Are you sure that you’d like to hear my story? This is hard to explain, and it might take a while.”

He crosses his arms. “I have all day.”

“Okay. Would you like some desserts? The kitchen is fully stocked; I know what pairs best with Misty Garden.”

“No thanks, I’m not fond of sweets.”

How long ago was your last tea ceremony? Not even your defiant moods produced this amount of tension. Or is this merely the distance between two strangers?

“There is something wrong with my memories,” you tell him.

He frowns at you. “What do you mean by that?”

Something wrong? Did Irminsul not purge him from your memories?

“What I’m saying is that I have little to no recollection of how I ended up here.”

Your mannerisms are the same. He never thought that the mundane act of passing a teacup would feel so nostalgic.

You continue speaking. “I have vivid memories of my early life. I had a family, friends, a peaceful home. But everything after that is static and fragmented. It’s like I forgot everything between then and now.”

He grips his cup. “So what is your first faulty memory?”

“I see flashes of red and violet," you tell him, “along with a human face. I can’t remember the details but I know it belonged to a beautiful person. Then I look down and there are snacks, tea sets, wrapped gifts all prepared by my own hands. I get the feeling that I was extremely happy, happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

The beginning of your courtship.

You were such a cute, interesting civilian back in those days. Always shyly greeting him, offering heartfelt gifts, inviting him to your home for tea. Despite being above such human needs, Scaramouche found himself endeared by your efforts.

From the moment he met you, his chest began to feel less hollow.

A dreamy sigh. “I’m pretty sure that I’d fallen in love with somebody.”

“How romantic,” he says sarcastically, glancing at his reflection in the teacup. “And you have no memory, at all, of your presumed lover?”

“Yes,” you reply sadly. “It was a short period of my life, one which lasted…months? It’s all so blurry, and I wish I could say the same for what happened next.”

A dark look passes over your face. But this time, your animosity isn’t directed at him.

“One day, the Fatui burned down my village. Don’t ask me why; all I know is that I was separated from my family then kept as a prisoner. I never saw them again.”

“What else do you remember from that period of your life?”

You look around the house. “I didn’t have an ordinary prison. It was a pretty place, a fancy house in Snezhnaya. I can see myself staring out the window, roaming the halls, crying myself to sleep. I usually felt scared, depressed, happy once in a while…but never alone.”

Your shared home.

He wonders if that ostentatious manor still stands. It was the stage for several quarrels, punishments, breakdowns, tense meals, intimate nights, cuddle sessions after his nightmares. An ersatz home which owed its warmth to your company.

The tea tastes perfectly bitter.

“Is that all?” he asks. “Did you spend all your days in that prison?”

Your cup shakes in your hands.

“There were visits. From a masked man who called himself the Doctor. Once, I was brought to his laboratory and he…he operated on me; he said it was to keep me alive. Would you find me crazy if I told you that I’ve lived for decades? It feels—no, I know it’s been that long.”

Dottore.

His sole glimmer of relief is Dottore’s mercy on you. Even without knowing the truth of Niwa’s death, Scaramouche was paranoid throughout your operation. The time spent waiting for you to wake up had felt like an eternity.

“I wouldn’t put it past the Fatui to curse a person with immortality,” he grimaces.

You give him an odd look. Suspecting his investment in your story, perhaps. That is new; you always saw the best in everyone, including him.

You take another sip of tea. “That’s all I can say about my time with the Fatui. One day, not too long ago, they brought me to Inazuma. Followed by Sumeru.”

Your final moments together.

Those days are still fresh in his memory. After the Electro Gnosis was acquired, the two of you quickly left Inazuma. Then Scaramouche confined you to this wretched house, splitting his time between this place and the Akademiya.

That time, he was purely focused on his godly ascension. He was so foolish to think that his lifelong dream was at his fingertips when you were already in his arms.

He grits his teeth. “And what happened here?”

You shrug. “I know for sure that I wasn’t a happy tourist, because I don’t remember any other part of Sumeru. Do you see those broken chains? Those were used to shackle me.”

There is a scar on your ankle. The sight triggers a fresh stab of guilt.

“It went by so quickly,” you whisper, “but I wasn’t lonely at all. I can hear conversations between me and a voice, but I can’t decipher any of the words. Next, I’m looking at my legs and the chains are off. Then I…I can’t remember!”

Even the Wanderer fails to predict the shift in your demeanor. You bang your cup on the table, spilling tea all over the wooden surface, and burst into tears.

“I don’t know what happened after!” you wail. “I can’t sense anything, just this strong feeling of dread. Then after retracing my steps, that’s when I realize how empty I feel. Something is missing—it feels so wrong.”

His departure.

If the Wanderer were to identify his deepest regret, it would be his last memory of you. He was so blindsided by his grief, desperate to return the lives he had stolen from his loved ones. From you.

It was laughable, really. He remembers breaking the chains and shaking you off him. Yet after everything he’d put you through, it was you who stayed inside and insisted that he rethink his decision. Be it out of forgiveness or vengeance, he still hasn’t figured it out.

Tea drips onto the table. The Wanderer didn’t notice that his own hand was shaking.

Fate truly finds delight in playing cruel tricks on its prisoners.

He takes a proper look at you. You’ve always been an emotional creature, a slave to human fragility. But not even his previous acts of cruelty had driven you to such anguish.

No, he was the true fool. How could he underestimate the intricacy with which your existences were intertwined? How could he leave your fate to the arbitrary laws of this world? Instead of liberating you, he only cursed his beloved once more.

On instinct, he raises his hand to wipe your tears but catches himself at the last second.

“If these memories cause you such pain,” he says gravely, “then why bother reliving them? Is it not easier to move on and lead a new life?”

“No, I can’t.” You shake your head vigorously, a stubborn gesture he is all too acquainted with. “If I do that, how could I possibly make sense of anything?”

The Wanderer says nothing. You wipe your tears and point at the teapot.

“Isn’t this blend of tea quite bitter?”

“It is. I find that flavor superior to sweets.”

“A long time ago, I would have disagreed with you. I wasn’t fond of bitter flavors in my youth but one day, during that time of my life when I was most happy, I gained a taste for it! Nobody in my family likes bitter food so who was the one that influenced my palate?”

Your suitcase is next. When you turn it over, an assortment of clothes and ornaments spills out onto the floor.

“These items! I could never afford such luxuries, and these are all in my favorite style and color. If these were gifts, they must’ve come from someone who knew me dearly.”

The Wanderer can only remain silent as you parse through every memory preserved in the Desert House. Sticky candies purchased just for you. Handcrafted gifts which Scaramouche had nitpicked but secretly adored. Objects of hobbies which he’d viewed as idle distractions unless he was entertaining your whims.

“I have to remember!” You fall to your knees, dissolving into a fresh wave of hysteria. “How could I forget someone so important to me?!”

How unsightly.

If this was one of your old breakdowns, he could reprimand you then make quick work of tidying you up. But such tough love is reserved for Scaramouche and his beloved, not for the Wanderer and a stranger.

In his long life, you were the one person who never betrayed him. So why did he leave you first? Love, sacrifice, repentance…what he claimed to be a parting gift was only a selfish act to end his own suffering.

Instead, he crouches next to you and awkwardly pats your back. When you wrap your arms around him, he refrains from drawing you closer.

There is a long pause.

“Hey…did you tell me the truth earlier?”

“What are you talking about?”

You break off the hug, hands moving to the blue side of his tunic. A light tug exposes the deep scar on his shoulder.

“Where did you get this?” you ask softly. “It…I don’t know why but it caught my eye.”

He stiffens. “That is none of your business.”

He said the same thing when it was a fresh wound. Nonetheless, you fretted over the blemish and told him to exercise more caution during his missions. You never listened to him when he insisted that puppets could withstand more damage.

You look up, taking in every detail of the Wanderer’s stunned expression.

“You feel familiar, too. I don’t know if it’s muscle memory or a gut feeling but…” You grip his shoulders, blinking back tears. “Did anything ever happen between us?”

He could grant you a small mercy.

“Nothing worth mentioning,” he replies. He holds your wrists, mustering a glare. “It is vulgar to point out one’s imperfections in such a manner, you know.”

Your curiosity morphs into indignance. “What do you mean ‘nothing’? After everything I’ve told you, you should know that any small memory is worth everything!”

If only you knew.

Against his better judgment, his hand finds its way to your cheek.

“Really,” he mutters. “You haven’t changed at all.”

To think that even after obtaining a heart, a part of him remains empty. And what more for your journeys continuing to diverge? If he could indulge his delusions once more, he might just believe that fate is finally on his side.

Never mind if he is wrong. If one truth exists in this world, it is that you are the only part of his past worth holding on to.

“Would you like to go with me?”

“What?” You blink at him, eyes wide.

The Wanderer levels you with a serious look. “Don’t make me say it twice. If you are tormented by all these mementos, then it is common sense to leave this place.”

“But I—!”

“Staying here will not bring back your mystery companion,” he snaps. “And if your memory is so helpful, you’d know that your former dream was to explore Teyvat. I couldn’t grant that wish before, ______, but I can do it now.”

You avert your gaze. “I can believe that. But why are you…?”

He stands up, holding out his hand to you. Any perceived confidence is merely an illusion to mask his own turbulent thoughts.

“Frankly, you would be a fool to say yes,” he admits. “I have no home, no kin, no destination. But I can promise you my heart and all that it has to offer.”

What sentimental rubbish. To your credit, many of your sweet remarks were brushed off for the purpose of concealing his flustered reactions.

He isn’t blind to the hesitance in your gaze. He can see it now, the tug-of-war between doubt and hope. The trust he will need to regain.

The warmth of your hand hasn’t changed.

“I’ll go with you.” You timidly bow your head. It almost reminds him of the first time you met. “What do I have to lose?”

“I hope you understand what you’re doing,” he warns. He wipes your tears with his free hand. “If you insist on continuing down this path, then don’t blame me for what comes next.”

“Noted!” You stand up and lift your head. Your gaze is brighter, clearer this time. “I still have questions, though. Lots of them.”

His response is a dismissive wave of his hand. “Ask me anything if you want. If a question is interesting enough, I may give you an answer.”

How much should he reveal to you, he wonders? And will it be a beautiful lie or the ugly truth? He has already found the answer for himself but you are a different matter.

The Wanderer gives the house another critical glance.

“Firstly, we must pack your belongings,” he announces. “Pick the items which will be of use to us. Everything else will be left behind.”

“Wait, how can I decide on that?” you exclaim. “This is all I have!”

He gives you an unimpressed look. “Then shall I choose for you?”

The speed at which you begin packing amuses him. He supposes that the desire for power is one he can never shake off, especially after becoming human.

After reorganizing your suitcase, the two of you finish your tea. Your conversations are still lackluster in comparison to your previous tea ceremonies, but he will acknowledge your change in countenance.

He hasn’t seen that precious smile in forever. This time, he will make sure that it survives every day in your new life.

Outside, the wind has calmed to a gentle breeze. You idle at the threshold, to which your new companion flashes you an impatient look.

“It’s too late for you to back out,” he says, harsher than intended. He takes your hand, intertwining your fingers. “There is no need to be nervous.”

That is what brings you out of your reverie. “You’re right. Where do we go now?”

Where will you go? There is his current lodgings; he will need to change rooms unless you are open to sharing a bed again. Then while you’re in Sumeru, a few tourist attractions will do. You never did get to enjoy the region as a couple.

“Let’s explore this forest first,” he decides. “The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, and I know a vantage point. You are just the type of person to get easily excited by the view.”

“For someone who claims to be an unimportant acquaintance, you sure know a lot about me,” you shoot back. Your lips curve into a small smile. “...Thank you. I’ll be in your care.”

That heavy feeling returns to his chest.

“There is no need to thank me.” The Wanderer stares ahead, but the flush in his cheeks betrays his feelings. “I see little point in it.”

Honestly, had he known how burdensome a heart could be, perhaps he wouldn’t have sought one to begin with. But at this point, the consequences can only be accepted.

If this is his punishment for committing the sin of love, then he shall gladly pay the price.

♡

Before anyone asks, I have no plans to write a Scara longfic. Due to his character growth, I find it difficult to write a fic that incorporates his full story. I’m also just not interested in writing a longfic for him or other characters.

Aahh I hope y’all enjoyed this!! Scaramouche/ Wanderer is very dear to my heart and I hope I did him justice. At least he and his darling get some sort of twisted happily ever after <3

Tag a Scaramouche enjoyer!! @ddarker-dreams @after-witch @leftdestiny-posts @oofasleep @lcveaesop @harmonysanreads @dreamii-yume @cinnamonest @ladycoleigh @robindere @venranae @yhreah @scaranya @misachan1506 @themiraclouskeeper @phen0l @nimandu

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

Transmasculinity Throughout Time: Dr James Barry

Part 2! Here we go. James Barry was the first European doctor to successfully perform a C section where both the mother and child survived, which is cool to me because I was born via C section. He was born in 1789, but lied that he was younger on documents in order to pass - people described him as young looking and soft featured with a boyish voice, but never questioned in his gender. Despite adamantly stating he was a man for his whole adult life and only being revealed as transgender after death, he is still referred to as a “a woman ahead of her time” in the Guardian in 2016 and argued to have only presented as a man to enter the male-dominated medical field. In his wikipedia page, he is only referred to by his last name, not he/him pronouns. This is another example of the transmasculine erasure done by cis feminist historians that I mentioned in my last post in this series. Instead of doing this, cis feminists, here is what you can do: accept and include transmasculine experiences as a part of feminist narratives, not in contradiction to them, and if you can’t do that, at least actually do some research on the women who were practicing medicine at the time, and acknowledge their accomplishments instead of stealing and erasing transmasculine history! To all students of history, and especially anyone who cares about queer/trans history: stop erasing trans men (and all trans and nonbinary people) and explaining us away. Come face to face with our existence. Can you do that?

Alright.

Barry was a British imperial surgeon. When he was 19, he expressed longing to be a soldier, and he later joined the British army. Eeh, I know. His official title quickly ascended to Colonel Medical Inspector. If it wasn’t for his privilege, his gender transgression would likely have not been so easily forgiven and explained away through infantilization and feminist narratives during and after his life. However, he still faced great challenges.

In his profession, he was unlike others because he spent time around and advocated for the most marginalized in society - prisoners, mentally ill, lepers, poor people, and enslaved people. He did this even though it made him vulnerable and eccentric to those around him. His bluntness and need to make change made him extremely challenged and unpopular among his fellow officers, and he survived on his professionalism and bravado alone, enduring an accusation of “conduct unbecoming of the character of an Officer and a Gentleman” for a clash with another surgeon, of which he was acquitted thereafter. He also got into a pistol duel and won against Captain Josias Cloete of the 21st Light Dragoons. Generally, he was described as both rude and unafraid to speak his mind, as well as sometimes overly polite, with a good bedside manner. People were confused by him because he didn’t fit into society, and they constantly speculated on his life and tried to diminish him and the advocacy that he did.

He was first appointed to his position and was able to keep it despite challenges to his authority because of his “close friendship” with the Governor, Lord Charles Somerset (we all know what close friendship means when historians say it). In 1824, he was slandered, put on trial, and investigated when someone said that they “detected Lord Charles buggering Dr Barry.” James Barry is an important historical example of transhomophobia. Unlike what TEHMs and their ilk believe, queer trans men in fact have been experiencing homophobia all this time. James Barry experienced the same homophobia as a cis gay man would at the time, with the additional pressure of being a trans man who had to pass as a cis man to live as himself: transhomophobia. As a queer trans man, thinking about what he must have gone through makes my stomach hurt.

In 1857, he was appointed to be the Inspector of Hospitals in Canada, and he made significant improvements to sanitation and care for prisoners and lepers during his short time in that position. He was forcibly resigned against his will after only two years, because of his supposed poor health.

Before he died of dysentery in 1865, he asked for his person to not be examined at all. His wishes were disobeyed. He was outed as trans and subsequently, his life was either erased or stolen from him and written as that of a woman. To avoid a scandal, all army records of him were locked for 100 years, until in 1958, a biography of him was written by a cis woman historian, who wrote about him as a woman pretending to be a man and erased his transness. Barry’s own doctor said after his death that “it was none of my business whether Dr. Barry was a male or a female” and suggested that he might have been intersex.

Interestingly, he was also known for an incident in which he scolded Florence Nightingale for poor sanitary practices, which she complained about after he died, saying he was “the most hardened creature I had ever met.”

[illegiblewords]

Almost current in Dawntrail, I make some references to plot stuff under the cut but this post isn't mainly about Dawntrail. This is an analytical rant. There are people who disagree with me that I adore/respect to bits who have done brilliant stuff from angles I wouldn't take. People shouldn’t stop doing what they’re inspired to do according to whether I like or dislike something. This post qualifies less with 'I think' and 'I believe' statements/is a little harsher because I'm venting though. Proceed at your discretion.

Features critical/darker discussions of Venat and Hermes with brief mentions of Zenos.

I really, genuinely think a lot of people are only getting pieces of what's going on in FFXIV.

The story still isn't black and white. Characters very, very often are not what they advertise themselves to be. Neither the cast nor fans are immune to misjudging.

Hermes is not as compassionate as he presents himself. There is an enormous discrepancy between what he professes and the choices he consistently makes, both with regard to other ancients and creations. I do believe he was genuinely miserable but he is basically Satan from Paradise Lost, who wonders why he alone was made unsatisfied with obedience and perfection. Who recognizes there is difference in himself compared to others but is conflicted about whether this is a defect or higher calling. Satan sees himself as inherently 'other' above all else and Hermes is just the same. The shared snake imagery isn't a coincidence either.

Everything I've seen points to Hermes being a narcissist who does not have instinctive empathy in a society where empathy is the most valuable quality a person can have. He strives to have more empathy than all other people without truly understanding what that means. It's why he projects his anger and hatred onto the wolf creation as it dies instead of offering it any kind of comfort. It's why he sends Meteion into space to suffer pain, death, and despair as a high empathy being who challenges all concepts of what it means to be alive… instead of presenting her to the Bureau of the Architect, where her very existence might instigate star-wide reform for how all other creations are handled. For his ego, he needed to be the only one with extensive knowledge of dynamis. He needed to be the only one with answers from on high regarding the nature of life. That was far more important than Meteion's wishes or well-being, and the creations he claims to love are expendable for this purpose. He frequently oscillates between seeing himself as beneath all other ancients and the sole, divinely powerful judge/jury/executioner of all living things. Like Satan from Paradise Lost he can't be grouped with those around him. He can't be just one of many ancients dealing with fears, doubts, despairs. He MUST be exceptional above all else. I'd argue the main reason he accepts the Warrior of Light at all is because we do not appear as a fellow ancient to him--he sees us as a familiar, and therefore inherently without equal authority and agency compared to him. When we are useful to his worldview he uses us and when we aren't we're disposable.

I've seen people claim that Hermes is just anxious and that's why he didn't submit Meteion. You don't opt for genocide and decree all of humanity as immoral and unworthy of mercy without even allowing your targets a voice to answer out of anxiety. You certainly don't do that while having specifically gone out of your way to avoid any steps that might have given room for more charitable judgments. Hermes opted to destroy everyone because it was what he wanted to do, but it didn't fit his self-image as a benevolent and empathetic person to do so. That's why he made a loophole via memory erasure.

Venat, further, is not a hero. She's gray at best and in all likelihood a pretty dark shade of it. Light motifs and crystal mommy themes do not change this. She not only decided, independently, that Hermes' genocide was an appropriate course without allowing anyone else room to discuss or address the issue--she actively denied everyone else knowledge of what happened or even basic information about dynamis (LET ALONE METEION'S LOCATION) so they could deal with the issue effectively. She passed judgment on the entire Convocation because of Hermes' appointment without once judging herself for withholding information on his true character. There is a reason Emet-Selch called her out for being immediately ready to see herself as a morally correct messiah of the star. He wasn't wrong to do so. And especially after Endwalker I think Venat grossly misunderstood not only what led to worlds self-destructing on a philosophical level (never mind Meteion's emotion amplification powers), I think she misread her own star and its people. Pursuit of purity and certainty was what led to the destruction of worlds. The total absence of pain is just one form that can take, but it isn't necessary for a world to be in perpetual agony to avoid that. Venat dismissed the despairs and struggles of her own fellow ancients because there was no room for them in the view she had of herself and her world. If she didn't see them they didn't exist, but even when she did see them they didn't count enough to sway her judgment. Venat had to be the most correct person and she didn't allow even as Hydaelyn the possibility of making mistakes or unwarranted cruelty to others. She is 1000% guilty of 'ancient hubris'.

Venat might be a more middling gray, in my view, depending on whether she'd been trying to shield as many people as possible from tempering with the traveler's ward only for most of the star to become tempered by Zodiark post-summoning. There are a lot of repeating phrases between Elidibus, post-Final Days ancients, and the lunar shades that I think point to mass tempering. Venat would have grounds for assuming people had homogenized views, prayers, and voices if the star was largely tempered. If they weren't, I think she becomes pretty sinister for how she deals with people's post-Final Days trauma. Her injustice toward the ancients in that case would just happen to be in a way that benefits the shards.

The Zodiark plan prevented life from going extinct. It was necessary. Zodiark's tempering and the subsequent sacrifice spiral were not deliberate I suspect, seeing as Zodirk was the first primal EVER. People have been consistently misreading the loporrit quote on this to try and argue that Zodiark didn't temper the Unsundered.

The line states that Venat used a different summoning technique to the one utilized by Ascians. Venat's technique specifically does not temper people. The Ascian method does. If Venat's technique was used to summon an entity of Zodiark's magnitude (whose power could not be resisted according to Emet-Selch) there might be a slight tug toward tempering despite the technique being much safer.

This is not saying Zodiark didn't temper anyone. It's specifically saying that despite Venat having a safe technique, Zodiark's summoning was on such a monumental scale that even Venat's technique would carry some risk.

Meanwhile, Lahabrea has been getting set up for years as someone who has been dehumanized, judged, isolated, and misunderstood. This has continued to increasing degrees through Dawntrail. It has been going on since A Realm Reborn. The sheer consistency of it is insane at this point. There is a HUGE gap between how Lahabrea emotes and what he's actually feeling. His choices reflect this and it is demonstrated firsthand in Pandaemonium.

No one seemed to think it was weird that Lahabrea was ready to commit a pseudo-suicide by killing Hephaistos. No one seemed to catch that the 'pseudo-suicide' in the lyrics to Scream referenced Lahabrea, as did the 'shadow left far behind' line. People contorted themselves into pretzels trying to say that Scream was not about him. Nevermind that Pandaemonium is the Lahabrea raid, in which all other characters were supporting cast to flesh out Lahabrea. It must be mainly about Hegemone and Agdistis! If not them, it must be mainly about Erichthonios!

The man's entire story is about being dehumanized, dismissed, invalidated, and excluded while suffering severe mental illness. It's kind of horrendous that fans are continuing to do this to him on a meta level.

Lahabrea has a long history of Abrahamic imagery. If the Warring Triad mirror the Unsundered, Sephirot as the Tree of Life maps to the Kabbalistic process of creation. The game explicitly and correctly references this in the attacks used. The lyrics to Fiend track for Lahabrea as does the association with Id issues, and there's symbolically significant overlap between muscular/multi-armed Sephirot (where multiple arms reference the boddisatva Guanyin, who uses those many arms to help those in need) to muscular/multi-armed Zodiark as Lahabrea's creation. And Zodiark being Lahabrea's creation is indicated in Akademia Anyder. People have been trying to attribute Zodiark to Hermes because Hermes hijacked him in EW and it drives me nuts.

Meanhwile, what did Pandaemonium do?

Paired the Tree of Life to The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. There's a ton of snake, fruit, and mouth imagery in Pandaemonium. Athena is Eve offering Lahabrea as Adam knowledge of good and evil via the soul bonding. Lahabrea has been afraid of himself as an extremely powerful ancient (which I've analyzed before, tying to Emet-Selch too), particularly given he's in a position of power. He reflects the societal idea that someone with his aetherial strength and authority cannot afford to be selfish or he risks causing immeasurable harm to others. Result is that Lahabrea is absolutely terrified of being selfish in any capacity, even on a basic healthy level. Athena meanwhile is a purely selfish being. Like I believe is the case with Hermes (and am positive is the case with Zenos)--she does not have instinctive empathy. Athena deliberately psychologically violated her husband by forcing him to acknowledge understanding selfish desire through her perspective, then compounded it by exploiting his lack of self-confidence to say he was bound to be just like her for understanding such selfishness. She's not an authority on that, but Lahabrea sees himself as personally less than Athena and is not at that point equipped to argue on his own behalf.

Anyway. Abrahamic connections, Hegemone has the snake imagery. Agdistis has the tree and the fruit. Athena is Eve. The soul bonding is the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. Hephaistos uses a ton of snake imagery too. Lahabrea is covered in symbolism both on a personal psychological level and tied to traditional symbolism via the hand of god acting upon the world, the eye of god watching the world. For savage, one arm is covered in eyes. This is his role as Lahabrea employing power for his people. The other arm, his personal desires/needs, is long and thin and malformed/not really functional. He covers his heart with a pair of wings for protection and reduces himself, weeping, to DNA because that's the only value he sees in himself. He'd rather be that than himself as a person because at least as DNA he's wanted for something. Lahabrea doesn't think anyone would ever give a shit about him on a personal level.

When Hephaistos is defeated, there's a reason Lahabrea is shaken when he states that Hephaistos' goal was never to raise himself high. That was what Athena wanted and what she told him he'd want. All Hephaistos wanted was his family back and to be loved. That was the moment Lahabrea had to introspect and realized Athena wasn't correct about his motives. Her declaring something about him didn't make it true.

Erichthonios is convinced he has a cruel and indifferent father for much of the raid. We see him twist neutral-to-kind gestures as malicious in front of us, as with Lahabrea allowing him to go to Pandaemonium as a child but insisting he know spells to protect himself. Erichthonios takes Lahabrea's insistence as believing he's not good enough instead of wanting him to be safe. We also see Erichthonios construe something that actually points to Lahabrea being depressed (giving himself no credit for completing the phoenix and advertising nothing only to be surprised by coworkers throwing him a celebration anyway) as him scorning Pandaemonium for not sharing the achievement with them. Erichthonios was taught to do this by Athena, and Athena likewise twists Lahabrea's self-image as a form of psychological abuse from the moment he approaches her in the soul bonding scene. She cites his status and accuses Lahabrea of thinking himself morally above others for descending to Pandaemonium and judging her. It never occurs to Athena that Lahabrea would try to stop her because he loves and wants to protect his son.

People are projecting their own personal beef with parents behaving poorly to assume Lahabrea is an uncaring father. He's not. He's extremely mentally ill and Erichthonios was groomed by an abusive mother while having no concept of what Lahabrea's mental illness would even look like... let alone how to deal with it.

Lahabrea explicitly thinks Erichthonios is better off with the false memory of a mother who abused him than having him present as a father because he considers himself so personally worthless. He can only see his presence as a detriment in his son's life. He is a short step from the kind of suicide people commit when they think other people would be happier and less burdened if they were dead. 'They might be sad for a while, but ultimately they'll be better off.'

I'm not even bringing out my citations right now. This isn't an Archon Thesis because I want my evidence properly assembled for that. But I recently saw someone try to frame the Convocation and Zodiark plan as uniformly awful, when the reality is doing nothing would have resulted in life going extinct. And if we're talking about zodiac signs mapping to Convocation members, there are more layers to it than 'Ascians = bad versions of the zodiac'.

Ex. The duality (two fish) and creativity associated with Pisces both apply to Lahabrea, but the emotionality does too. It isn't obvious at first but when you look it's there. Lahabrea has hidden strong emotions consistently through a variety of methods across the game. Sometimes it's reserve, sometimes it's aggression, sometimes it's hysteria. But when you look at the surrounding circumstances from his perspective, it makes perfect sense how and why he'd emote that way. It has never been safe for him to be emotionally vulnerable.

One of the earliest moments of 'villain laughter' from him we see is at Carteneau. His assistant waits quietly for him to finish. At that point Bahamut had been unleashed in yet another action that goes directly against Lahabrea's own morals, but is necessary to the Ardor. The sundered respond by invoking Lahabrea's phoenix as protection for humanity against a primal Lahabrea helped orchestrate. On some level people instinctively believe Lahabrea can and will protect them despite his failures, their own reincarnations, and thousands of years passing. It's ironic and horrible but this kind of irony has been happening to Lahabrea over and over again. If he doesn't laugh the dude's going to cry and (again) it isn't safe for him to do that.

(Also as the only Ascian to ever refer to Zodiark as 'master', Lahabrea is A) very tempered B) continuing a pattern of thought/behavior/worldbuilding where he puts his people first and himself dead last C) not talking about Athena. Lahabrea says in-game he had no earthly idea Athena was in the Heart of Sabik. I do think Heart of Sabik effected him by magnifying his desire to save his people and redeem himself in the face of survivor's guilt. It might have influenced his phrasing too. I have theories about what Lahabrea did at Praetorium but blowing it up was not 'the ultimate magic' by any means. I'm pretty sure he used it as a Themis and/or Zodiark backup drive, which Athena's presence at Anabaseios proves is possible anyway. He doesn't need to know about her to figure it out.

People have tried to say Athena is Lahabrea's god instead of Zodiark. Especially given the history of abuse and Lahabrea's own repeatedly shown priorities/actions, that take is pretty appalling imo. Completely dismisses how devoted he has always been to his people to destroy his will and identity altogether on a meta level.)

Even if we strip shit down to the most bare bones narrative form and ignore evidence--where motives and arcs are concerned 'oh Lahabrea has always been evil/uncaring/sociopathic/self-absorbed and stayed that way forever after' is bad storytelling. That would require a 'failure to change' arc as literal or spiritual death. That arc form ties to death because life requires accounting for/adapting to new experiences. If a character fails to do that (for better or worse) that character is stagnant and effectively not living. Such arcs require meticulously showing the process of rejecting experiences though. Zoraal Ja actually approaches the form a bit when we see him repeatedly taking nothing from the trials he undergoes, but his trajectory becomes 'change for the worse' after losing to his father's shade. None of the Unsundered are set up with that arc form, Lahabrea included. It wouldn't offer any insight, fit with what we know of the ancients and their values/society, or carry any emotional impact. Trying to go that route without setup is just bad storytelling and makes characters less believable. But yeah. Tl;dr I really, really wish people paid more attention and examined words vs actions vs surrounding circumstances vs motives.

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Honestly, I think being proship is really cool and antis aren't thinking about things as critically ash they should

I mean this in the way that most people who are proship or profit also are in support of freedom of speech and are against censorship. Both are innatly good btw!

I just think it's crazy that antis say that we're all "chronically online gooners" when it's really not out of the ordinary that people's interests in activism and freedom of speech overlap with their interests in fandom. Like, I'm being so serious when I say that free speech is good and that my views against censorship affect how I interact with art in a healthy way. I really don't understand it when antis talk about how we don't do anything productive with our stance in fandom spaces when being against the censorship of art and literature has an impact on the real world in more ways than antis seem to realize.

Book bans are bad. The erasure of queer art/writing is bad. The silencing of BIPOC voices and representation is bad. People should have access to libraries, art galleries, and archives to house the things that aren't in those places. Information being readily available is a good thing, and it goes without saying that the more information we have access to then the less people will believe things that are simply untrue. Bigotry controls how a lot of the world works, and you can see that fact everywhere. Anti-censorship means that, yes, bigots have the right to voice their god-awful opinions. But that also means that people who aren't full of hate also have that right. You can't take away someone's right to express themselves just because you personally don't like it. This goes for fiction as well as opinions that bigots may have. At the end of the day, fiction is just a means of expression in some magnitude. Everyone benefits. And even if bad people do benefit from it too, that just means that people who want the world to be a better, kinder place have just as much of a say on the matter. (Also, people giving out death threats and harassing people isn't exactly cool and doesn't qualify as freedom of speech when it's the threat of harm. That's just a crime at that point). You can't magically make the world a better place by being mad at people though. Hate only leads to more hate. But you can use your hate in a positive way by helping others and spreading information that people can actually benefit from. You have to take some sort of action to do something about making a difference in a positive way.

And I'm sorry, but just because loliso makes someone personally uncomfortable (me included), that doesn't give people the right to make it a crime to create or view it unless an actual child was harmed in the process of making it. And even then, it's when CSEM is used as reference material, and that's already illegal as it is. You can't get rid of something just because you don't like it.

I feel like the overlap that proship has with these real-world things can't be ignored. What do antis do though? Perpetuate censorship and witch hunts for something they don't like? Which really does more good in the real world and which does more harm in the end?