#dear evan hansen x gender neutral reader

[littleroseprince]

MULTIFANDOM AGERE STUFF LET'S GO

I'm gonna copy and paste the rules onto this post teehee:

Fandoms I will write for:

Regretevator

Pressure

Doors

Murder Drones

Lego Monkie Kid

Inanimate Insanity

HFJone

Friday Night Funkin/Pico's school

Sonic

Fandoms I might write for?:

Dear Evan Hansen

Be More Chill

Villainos

Spooky Month

Yes:

Reader Insert

Diapers

Angst

Maybe:

Violence

No:

Any k1nk stuff. Get out.

NSFW

Omorashi (When it's SFW there's no judgement, just not smth I wanna write! Same with any bathroom stuff)

OCs (I probably wouldn't be able to write them accurately! Reader inserts are ok tho.)

Gendered stuff (Any reader insert will be gender neutral. I want everyone to be able to read them)

Ships that aren't allowed, but you can request as them platonic duos!:

Mach x Anyone (Especially Pilby)

Sebastian x Reader Insert

Red Son x Mei

Nezha x Anyone

N x Uzi

Cassandra x Pico/Nene (I won't write Cassandra at ALL.)

Michael x Rich

Jared x Connor

Connor x Evan

Pico x Nene

Any proships (GET OU‼️)

Probably anything that's not on the allowed ships list, but if you don't know then ask!

Allowed Ships:

Pest x Poob

Infected x Lampert

Bive x Split

Julien x Oscar

Liam x Bryce

Paintbrush x Lightbulb

OJ x Paper

MK x Red Son

Pigsy x Tang

Macaque x Wukong

Syntax x Mayor

V x Uzi

Streber x Kevin

Hatzgang Polycule

Pico x Boyfriend

Boyfriend x Girlfriend

Pico x Girlfriend

Pico x Boyfriend x Girlfriend

Pico x Darnell

Shadow x Sonic

Dr. Flug x Black Hat

Jared x Evan

Jeremy x Michael

I'd appreciate if you be specific with requests but if you really can't think of a specific idea thats ok! I can still try my best! I can decline any request I want if it makes me uncomfy or I dont think I can write it well. Don't get mad if I decline your request or take a long time to make it! Thank you and byee :3

[reapkusho]

Things 'bout me!

𝄞 You may call me Reaper, Reap, or any other nickname - I don't mind whatever you call me, I just refuse to be called my real name.

on that note, if 'Reaper' or Reap sounds a bit too unnatural or weird, I also like being called Rai. Some irls know me as Ravel. Whatever sounds pretty.

𝄞 names like pookie, bestie, and anything along those lines are fine. I may call people bro or beh sometimes but only because those terms are gender neutral to me.

𝄞 I try my best to reply enthusiastically, but sometimes I'm really low-energy - so unless I'm downright disrespecting you (/lh) then I actually do mean well and that's me being a dumbass. You're always welcome around here.

𝄞 I find it really hard to empathize with people, just a fair warning. I'm trying my best to comfort you guys <3

𝄞 I am she/they/it. It may change when I'm having some kind of identity crisis (/hj)

𝄞 cupioromantic. demisexual. Questioning.

𝄞 minor. I'm already desensitized to nsfw and it wouldn't be a complete shocker to me but I'd rather not interact with that stuff.

𝄞 on that note, my timezone is UTC+08. But I'm usually on tumblr when I'm having huge insomnia problems so timezones probably won't matter.

𝄞 likes!

all the shades of color blue, rainy or stormy weather, getting appreciated (fr), persuading people, poetry, books, horror movies, philosophy, blue flowers (roses <3), turtles, writing, filipino language and culture, being a leader-figure, dogs (particularly ones that don't have breeds, like strays, aspins, or mongrels i think they're called), solar eclipses, frilly and attention-grabbing clothes, clear skies (outdoors).

𝄞 I am an oc (x canon) enthusiast. obviously as long as it's not illegal. anyway, I'd LOVE to hear about your OC lore.

𝄞 musically inclined!

𝄞 Music I like!

Mitski, Marina, Laufey, Moonstar88, Parokya ni Edgar, ABBA, Frank Sinatra, The Cranberries, The Beatles, Radiohead, Conan Gray, Adrianne Lenker, Greenday, Madilyn Mei, Juan Karlos, The Living Tombstone, Lovejoy, Hozier, Queen, Rachie, Jubyphonic, Bo Burnham, Chappell Roan, Eraserheads, penelope scott

Tschaikovsky, Vivaldi, Rachmaninoff, Debussy (favorites)

𝄞 ^ I also adore musicals.

hamilton, wicked, six, dear evan hansen, death note the musical, epic, heathers, the waitress, the greatest showman, ride the cyclone, la la land, evelyn evelyn, beetlejuice, and be more chill + probably a lot more!

𝄞 I am an average literature enjoyer. I only really like reading classics, excluding SOME horror or mystery novels. But I am also a fanfiction reader (send me recs).

franz kafka, fyodor dostoevsky, leo tolstoy, jane austen (austen haters dni /j), dante, charlotte bronte, sylvia plath, emily bronte, oscar wilde, osamu dazai + more!

𝄞 I am a very big horror enthusiast. (mostly movies with a lot of gore, which is pretty fucking cringe if you ask me. /hj)

Smile, Tusk, Sleepaway Camp, Human Centipede, The Autopsy of Jane Doe, Malignant, The Sadness, The Platform, Followed, Fractured, Midsommar, Creep, Get Out + more, these are my favorites.

𝄞 I yap. I yap so much. I have a degree in yapatology. I am a professional yapper.

Please yap to me.

𝄞 I swear like some kid who learned their first cuss word.

𝄞 neurodivergent (most) probably.

feel free to enjoy the hell out of this silly blog <3

[musicalmystery]

Fandoms I write or draw for:

Super Mario Bros Movie

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Wednesday

Be More Chill

Dear Evan Hansen

Cats (both stage and movie)

Heathers musical

Mean Girls both (both movie and musical)

Heartless

Wizard of Oz

Where the crawdads sing

What I will write or draw:

character x character

character x reader

fluff

angst

male x female

gender neutral reader

gender bent characters

What I won’t write or draw:

smut

male x male

female x female

trans

non binary

furry

[i-also-miss-our-talks]

Connor x theatre nerd! reader whereby he reader may ramble a lot idk mannn thanks anyway ily💛

Sorry it took so long! Here are some head cannons, my friend! And, whats this? Gender neutral? I hope so, at least! I tried the best I could! Let me know if I miss something!

WC: 596

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

so the first time you met Connor you were partnered up for Biology

you had to dissect a frog

ew

gross

anyway

Connor was having trouble cutting the frog with the scalpel

so he just stabbed it

of course you’re like “Connor wtf?”

and he shrugged and muttered “he had it coming”

oH SHIT

HE HAD IT COMING

HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAME

and Connor is taken aback like “Y/N wtf?”

you start going on and on about Cell Block Tango and then the entirety of Chicago

you were almost finished when the bell rang

you sighed and cleaned up the stabbed frog while Connor put away the lab papers

you put on your backpack and started walking away when Connor tapped your shoulder

“aren’t you gonna finish?”

“finish what?”

“talking about that fucking musical. you seemed so excited about it i figured i might as well let you fucking finish.”

squee!

you smiled brightly and walked with him down the hallway to the lunch room, blabbing on and on about the rest of Chicago and getting into a bit of Wicked because that somehow slipped into the conversation

then Connor said “is there any you think i might like?”

because we all know that boy has nothing better to do than watch bootlegs

you nod and quickly looked him up and down

“Newsies”

(you actually knew what musical to recommend him since you first saw him. the looking was just because whoa did Connor Murphy just become suddenly hotter?)

Connor handed you his phone and said “put in your number and send Newsies to me”

and you’re like “ok”

fast forward to the end of the school year because I’m a lazy shark

you and Connor Murphy are bff’s and everyone knows it so they don’t even dare to mess with you

(your parents totally ship you btw)

so anyway

Connor is driving you and Zoe to school like always. today you’re blasting Motown cause everyone needs a little Motown in the morning

so Connor parks the car and Zoe quickly gets out while you guys finish the song. when its done, Connor hands you a shoe box

and again you’re like “Connor wtf?”

“fucking open it”

you open it and gasp. inside is a plane ticket and three broadway show tickets. (you can choose your favorite shows because Connor would know exactly what they are)

and you look at him and he’s holding up his own plane and show tickets

“after school gets out on Friday we’re heading to the airport so get all your shit packed. i already talked with your parents. they’re cool with just the two of us going.”

sQUEE!

you throw your arms around him

“thank you thank you thank you! Connor you’re the best! i could just kiss you!”

“then do it”

tbh you are shook by his answer but you don’t hesitate. you slam your lips onto his chapped ones

(seriously you gotta buy this dude some chapstick or something)

and then you go to school hand in hand because TA DA you’re a couple now

then you go to New York

weeeeeeee

both of you?

alone in a hotel room?

for a week?

y’all know things get steamy

but it’s okay cause its consent and you dorks love each other

bonus!

during a steamy time you took slightly longer to get your shirt off

and Connor mumbled “whatcha waiting for?”

bOI

WELCOME TO MY CANDY STORE

TIME FOR YOU TO PROVE YOU’RE NOT A LOSER ANYMORE

STEP INTO MY CANDY STORE

“Y/N wtf?”

the end

[chincilla-on-the-moon]

Work of Art

Request: hey there :0 recently found yr blog and i just wanna say yr writing is really good! i saw yr requests were “openish” so if this is an inconvenience then that’s ok and you don’t have to write anything :) but connor murphy w a male reader who likes to draw? and he draws them together in his free time? maybe babies connor a lot in private too? (^^*)if you decide to do this, ty! if not, that’s ok too! keep up the good work ♡🦑 Word Count: 498 Words Warnings: Connor being insecure Author’s Note: heyy...how yall doin... so sorry to the anon that requested this it took me a year and then some to finally write it and it’s bad... anyways... have a good day/night :) <3

You were sitting in the art room one day during study hall as usual when all of a sudden someone else came into the room

You were startled because usually, it’s just you and the art teacher this period.

A boy, probably another student judging by the style of his clothes, came in, nodded his head at your teacher as a greeting, signed in, and sat at a table on the other side of the room

He took out a sketchbook that looked very well loved with stickers all over the front and back covers

He could feel your eyes on him and looked over

You quickly put your head down and felt the tips of your ears grow warm in embarrassment

After that, the two of you drew in your respective sketchbooks silently

The period passed and you didn’t leave the room as you had actual art class next period but neither did the mystery boy

Once the rest of your classmates were settled into their seats, except for the mystery boy,  Ms.Anne stood up in front of the class, “Hello Everyone! I hope you’ve all had a good day so far. As you can see we have a new student with us. This is Connor Murphy, he just started here so please help him feel welcome. Connor, you can sit at the table back there with Y/N.”

You felt your eyes grow wide, no one has sat next to you for the whole year why did that have to change now?

He searched for a minute before his eyes found yours

He came and sat down next to you and you decided to introduce yourself to make him feel welcome or whatever Ms.Anne said.

Surprisingly he responded and you two talked through the rest of the period and the rest is history.

He quickly became your favorite thing to draw

At first, you kept the drawings hidden in fear of him being creeped out but as you grew closer you eventually showed him the drawings

He cried when he saw them because he never imagined someone seeing him in a positive way like you did

Soon after you showed him the drawings the two of you started dating

You loved that you were now able to give him all the affection he deserved (never in public though because he had a reputation to uphold)

And now you could make him pose for all the drawings you want

He drew you on occasion but was insecure about his art even though you constantly assured him it was incredible

For your one-year anniversary, you drew Connor’s favorite picture of the two of you

Once he opened it and saw what it was he practically jumped at you to kiss you and give you the biggest hug

You two stayed like that for a while

For all your anniversaries after that you drew his favorite picture of the two of you from the last year <3

[yellowrights]

44 & 39 with Evan?? Please?

I’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but uhh…

39: “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

44: “I’m going to keep you safe.”

Pairing: Evan x Reader

You relied on Evan for almost anything– he was your best friend. So when he texted you at 2 am begging for you to come and comfort him, you immediately hopped onto your bike and hauled ass to his house. You knocked gently on the front door, praying that Heidi wasn’t home. Fortunately, a very disheveled Evan with red-rimmed eyes and messy hair opened the door.

“I’m going to keep you safe.” You whispered, pulling Evan into a hug. He broke down into tears, wetting the shoulder of your t-shirt, but you didn’t care. After all Evan has done for you, the least you could do was be there for him.

When Evan collected himself, he chuckled awkwardly, “I guess I should let you inside, huh?”

You laughed and followed him upstairs into his room. He sat down on his bed and you sat across from him, hands in your lap.

“What happened, Ev? Is everything okay?” You asked, concern lining your words.

“I just… I’ll never find love. The person I love will never love me back and I just,” he sobbed, “I’m unlovable.”

“Evan! You aren’t unlovable! You’re the most kind, trustworthy, and overall amazing person I know!” You took Evans hands into your own.

“I love you, Y/N.” Evan whispered shakily. “I’ve loved you for so long and I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. I totally understandifyoudon’twannabemyfriendanymoreI–”

You cut him off with a kiss. “I love you too” You smiled, pulling him into a hug. Evan hugged you back tightly, refusing to let go.

“I wish we could stay like this forever” he mumbled into your shoulder.

“Me too” You smiled.

[write-bout-idiots]

Bad days headcanons | deh guys

Connor: 

• You both have bad days pretty often, usually the two of you are feeling low on the same days.

• Connor knows you feel bad when you’re too quiet, but sometimes you’re like that when you are concentrating for school.

• so he makes a test: plays your favorite songs and if you don’t sing along he starts to worry.

• First of all, he leaves the music on the loudest he can.

• then he sits beside you just waiting and letting you pick on his nail polish until you decide what to do.

• Sometimes you vent about what happened in the day, or how you’re feeling.

• He tries his best not to get angry and just listen while you cuddle and wait for a delivery of tacos.

• sometimes you just hug him and cry for hours while he plays with your hair and whispers things to make you laugh.

• secretly he doesn’t like to put you against his chest because he gets scared every time you cry without explaining what’s wrong and his heart goes really fast.

• but he does it anyway because he knows his scent calms you down.

• and sometimes you just want to let go and he’s very happy to please whatever you want to do with him.

• This last one usually happens when he also had a bad day or you’re angry.

Evan:

• You two are very clingy and maybe too empathetic?

• You cuddle and cry together.

• Evan’s therapist told him that holding back the feelings is very bad so he makes sure you let everything go.

• You scream and cry for a while and when you’re done you spend hours talking about nothing.

• Evan has a lot to say and his voice is relaxing to you, so he just says everything he keeps to himself throughout the day.

• He lays down on his bed beside you and takes off his shirt and you trace things on his back while he talks.

• You usually end up falling asleep, cuddling.

• Basically every bad day turns into a nap date.

• and because of this Heidi has found you late at night and Evan freaks out every time.

• (because he’s shirtless! with you!! on his bed!!! What is she going to think?!?)

• anyway, he’s adorable and he never stops repeating how much he loves you.

• He likes pretty much the same when he’s feeling bad but he also enjoys making apple pies.

• You do most of the work but he cuts the crust and makes little figures (mostly different kinds of leaves)

• When it’s ready you make hot chocolate and watch foreign films while you eat it.

Jared:

• Believe it or not, he’s the one that has more bad days.

• He likes to say that his whole life is a bad day.

• His worst days are when his jokes get too real™ and you have to sit him down to talk about what’s bothering him.

• He cries like a baby for half an hour and then comes back to make jokes.

• Oh but when YOU have a bad day.

• His world collapses, mainly because you don’t find funny anything he says.

• So he freaks out and does everything he can think of to help

• He orders three different foods and four different desserts from different places.

• gets you blankets but offers to open a window if you’re too hot.

• has six different options for movies or various genres.

• or asks if you just want to watch him play a video game.

• never asks you to talk about what is wrong but has clarified multiple times that if you want to do it you just have to ask him to sit down and he’ll understand what you want.

• and he does.

• He sits there and listens, makes respectful and helpful comments and suggestions and never let’s go of your hand.

• cuddles while watching movies.

• This is random but he also likes to put his cold feet on your stomach to make you laugh when the movie is getting too sad.

• *crying* “I told you we should put a fucking rom-com y/n, why do you do this to me?”

(A/N:  For some reason I couldn’t think of anything for Zoe and Alana?  Feel free to add some if you want to! I would love it! Also my english is probably very bad but i’m really proud of these so if you can correct me, do it nicely please!)

[ashes-of-a-pen-blog]

clingy Alana Beck x Reader headcanons ((i didn’t know how to title this))

aA/N: ok so these are terrible but I never write or do anything with Alana and I feel bad because she's such a great character 

I promised a fic today but you get these instead ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -She is SUPER possessive of you -She doesn't like PDA, but enjoys being able to be by you at all times -She gives reallllllllly good hugs -You met her in an English class after working on a project together -((you're both pretty dang smart)) -When you're not really paying attention to her, she WILL make you -"Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE. Pay attention to meeeeeee." -You like to study together and cuddle at the same time -Your study dates are the best,,, like seriously -You'll go to some sort of small cafe and hold hands under the table -She makes you blush so much ahh -People don't really know you're dating, they just sort of think that you're best friends? -But once they find out, it's super obvious -She's always touching you somehow -Whether it's holding hands, hugging, etc. -She's always whispering cute things in your ear -"Psst. Babe." "Yeah?" "You're adorable." -She gives you pet names that are little puns on your name -They're soooo cute -Your first kiss was really awkward but amazing -She always asks before she kisses you just to make sure -She gets scared a lot that you're too good for her -You spend hours upon hours trying to tell her that you won't leave her -She calls you the best thing that ever happened to her -You guys are probably a super cute couple

[stargazer-balladeer]

Platonic! [Mystic Messenger]

Anon: hi !! can i ask for rfa x reader platonic! headcanons with v & ice cream boi saeran <3

Characters Included: RFA, V & Saeran

Note: This is one of my favorite works :P. I got carried away by this bc I rlly had so much fun writing it. Hope ya’ll enjoy this!

Additional Notes: You and MC are not the same people.

Reader’s Gender: Neutral (some bulletin might imply a feminine reader but take it how ever you want)

Warning: Dark themes in V’s scenario. Mentions of Suicide. If you’re sensitive to this topic, pls skip V’s. Thanks. Spoiler warning!

“UNREQUITED LOVE”

Seven

Honestly speaking, Seven is a friend that keeps joking around and fun to be with. He’s so easygoing yet he keeps building up walls around himself, distancing himself from everyone, even you.

He’s the kind that just keeps smiling, no matter what situation he was in. 

It’s that reason why when you approach him for the first time, you could instantly tell he’s building up walls around him. But in reality, he just smiles. 

Behind that smile though screams “go away” “why are you talking to me?” “who the hell are you?”

I think it’s very difficult to befriend him (The twins are, in general). BUT! Once you get past his build-up walls and warmed up to him, he’ll slowly also warmed up to you.

Now, going back to platonic hc.

You two will always have a competition. ALWAYS. Whether petty or stupid or crazy, it doesn’t matter. Seven is the exact definition of CRAZY, and I hope you are too.

You two will be spamming the chatrooms so much, much to the rest’s irritation. You two will be a dynamic duo that cannot be stopped.

Actually people might mistake you as couple (if ever you two go out, you usually stay indoors) since you two actually look like one. Of course, you two will deny it, stating your just friends, which is true enough. 

Though sometimes you two took advantage of this. If there’s a couple discount in a store? You two will pretend to be a couple to get a discount.

Vanderwood would just get used to having two idiots in the house now, since you always crash in Seven’s house. You practically live there now. (poor Vanderwood--)

Seven would be so comfortable with you, that he can be himself. If he’s sure he can trust you, he will tell you about his past and about his twin brother. How he regret leaving Saeran, how he regrets everything about his life.

If MC joins the RFA, you instantly knew something was wrong with Seven. 

If you realize that he loves her, you would definitely tease him about it. He would passionately deny it (with flushed cheeks), but you knew better. 

You would be there for him when he realize what had happened to his brother, you comforted him as he cries. cries.

I would also like to imagine him telling you about the reset, and explaining to your confuse self. You’re the only one he can confide to about this information. Pls don’t break this trust.

You would definitely help Seven to search for Saeran, and be his best man in his and MC’s wedding (yes, even if you are a girl. Fight me.)

Overall, I think this friendship is a wholesome one. Full of trust and fun. Pls don’t abuse this friendship with Seven ;-; This poor bby boi has been through a lot..

Yoosung Kim

You two definitely meet during classes in College, whether sharing the same course or accidentally met in the library or cafeteria or anywhere. You two will instantly click.

Yoosung would, at first, be shy in talking with you. But slowly grew more confident as you two talk with each other. 

He would DEFINITELY bring Rika up in one of your conversations. You would be like, “??? who?” 

He then proceeds to explain that Rika was his cousin, and that she recently just died. Your motherly instinct activated when you see tears building in his eyes as you brought him to your chest and comforted him. 

It isn’t hard for Yoosung to trust you, unlike Seven. 

If you play LOLOL, this boi would be so ecstatic that he immediately suggested to play together. I hope you agree.

I imagine him being kinda talkative. So, maybe after playing LOLOL or finish doing a project or whatever, you two will sit together on the couch and just talk. Your conversation can be either heartfelt or weird or strange or funny. You two’ll talk endlessly until both of you realize that it’s super late at night.

Like Seven’s, you two will be mistaken as a couple by your classmates. You two’ll instantly deny it though, in Yoosung’s side, flushed face while denying.

But unlike Seven, you two don’t take advantage of this. You two probably didn’t know it existed until someone mention it to you or you found out. 

You two are the innocent beans in the chatrooms. You usually save Yoosung from Seven’s antics, which the rest are grateful for. 

I honestly see Yoosung as a Musical fan, like Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, etc. If you like those as well, expect jamming session of Musical Broadway songs. 

I can also imagine if Yoosung is scared or nervous, he will instinctively grab your hand. It’s like he’s reassuring himself that your there for him, and won’t disappear from him. Unlike his cousin, his love. 

He might come off as clingy but you better know that’s not the case. He’s scared. You can reassure him by squeezing his hand and smiling at him. “I’ll always be here for you.” he might shed a tear or two before smiling back at you.

When MC joins the RFA. The two of you were surprised at her sudden appearance but nevertheless welcomed her. 

If you realize that MC likes Yoosung and how Yoosung keeps comparing her to Rika, you would definitely step in. You know that MC feels hurt that Yoosung keeps comparing her to his dead cousin, so you talk to him.

He wouldn’t take this lightly though. But eventually realized that you and Zen were right. MC wasn’t like Rika at all! Maybe even better!

You would be SO worried about Yoosung when you heard he lost one of his eyes. But you knew better to visit him so you spam him instead, letting him and MC have their moment.

You would be there when he became a veterinarian. You’ll also be his best man in his wedding (regardless if you’re a woman).

Overall... this friendship is one-of-a-kind. It’s rare to see a man like Yoosung nowadays. If ever you meet this kind of person, befriend them. I’m sure you wouldn’t regret it :)

Jumin Han

I can’t imagine anything else but during your childhood. You’re friends with him and V, and possibly Rika as well. But you’re close to V rather than to Jumin.

You’re actually scared of him really, since he has this aura around him that screams “superior!” “don’t talk to me peasant” “go away”. Yeah, not so friendly aura.

V would always reassure you that Jumin isn’t that kind of person. You, of course, believe him but it’s hard to approach someone like Jumin.

Once you’re older, you might have lost communication with the both of them. By the time you knew it, you heard V was getting married to Rika. And you knew who else has a crush on Rika. Jumin.

You, of course, congratulated them. But you were deeply concerned about the black-haired CEO. But when you approach him about it, he pushed you away.

When V suddenly died, you were gravely saddened to have lost a friend. You were deeply wounded at the fact that he left so sudden, why? why? why?

Jumin might’ve noticed you grieving so he’s the one approaching you now. He’s the one reaching out his hand, and you took it.

At the start of your newfound rekindled friendship, it was to say awkward and a bit rocky. But you were used to it so you persisted until you wiggle yourself into his life. And, surprise surprise, he accepted the fact that you are his friend.

You two will not always hang out however, since you two have work to go to. But you two will call each other frequently, asking each other trivial things, which is surprising coming from Jumin. 

I also think someone will mistake you as Jumin’s girlfriend, but he will outright deny it. 

He MIGHT MIGHT use this an advantage though. But not so much, since he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or take advantage of you. 

If you like cats, great! If you two are already like best friends, Jumin will let you meet Elizabeth the 3rd. 

If you work with him in C&R, you’ll be expected to come to his office often to drag him away from his workaholic self. 

By now, Jumin already considers you a close friend, that’s a first. The friend who never left him. So he confides in you about his insecurities in running the company, how he never had a family before since his father is a womanizer, hopping from one woman to another. He’s just a product of a one night-stand. 

Just listen to him, that’s all he needed. You don’t need to talk, just listen. And pls don’t spread it either, Jumin’ll not like that. 

He’s not usually talkative really. You’re the one who talks, if you’re a talkative person like Yoosung, the one who keeps the conversation going. But if you’re quiet, then the both of you can bask in silence in each other’s presence.

I would like to think Jumin thinks of you as a (sister/brother) he never had, a family.

And, very so often than not, he smiles to you. He’s so comfortable with you that he can be himself and not uphold his guard.

The rest of the RFA would take note of Jumin being soft towards you. Like he’ll be angry one second but once you’re in the chat, he’ll go soft. Like “???”. But I would like to think they’re happy that Jumin found a friend that he can trust. (Proud RFA)

(It’s also noticeable in the employees of C&R that Jumin has become soft towards you.)

You and Jaehee would DEFINITELY be friends as well. You may or may not have told Jumin to stop giving her so many tasks. But nevertheless, she’s grateful for you and happy that you’re also her friend.

Anyway. If MC joins the RFA, Jumin, being Jumin Han, was wary of her. You assure him that she meant no harm at all.

But once all was revealed, and founding out V was still alive. You had mixed feelings about him, like you’re happy that he’s alive but angry that he lied to you. 

You’re also mad towards Jumin. He told you the reason why V died, but the reasoning was a lie. You don’t know who to trust anymore so you shunned everyone out.

Jumin was devastated, to say the least. He has grown into a trusting and loving friendship with you that was hard to build, and yet it broke. Like a snap of a finger, it immediately broke. He doesn’t know what to do. He lost a friend, the friend who never left his side, the one who cheers him on, the one who loves hanging out with him even though he’s boring, the friend who was a family to him.

He cried. Jumin Han cried. MC tried comforting him of course, but he never stopped. He wanted you back, he couldn’t bear to lose someone important again.

And, like a miracle, you came back. Oh how happy he was when he saw you standing in front of him. He immediately engulfed you into a hug, not caring if some people saw him. He got you back, that’s all that matters.

After the fiasco was dealt with, you would DEFINITELY attend their wedding. It’s either his Best Man or a Bridesmaid, he still respect the Church’s wishes afterall.

Overall, your friendship with this trust-fund kid was messy and started out rough. But once you two work hard on it, it blossomed. Until someone crush it and it became broken again. But once again, it stood strong and proudly, even though damaged. And I think it’s beautiful, no matter what anyone else’s say.

Zen

This guy is an actor, an egotistical, narcissistic guy. Who looks like a real-life Mafumafu and gotten his name “Zen” from a guy named Zen in Akagami no Shirayukihime (Snow White with the Red Hair).

Putting that aside, you two probably met accidentally in a set. Where you accidentally pour water on him during a break. You profusely apologized lots of time, and him reassuring you every time.

Yeah. Not an ideal meeting but a meeting no less. 

Zen would probably took an interest for you. No, not romantic interest. He’s more interested in being your friend. He saw how you interact with other people, and especially your friends. He was, dare I say, jealous of people being with you. He wanted a friend like that, that’s all he wanted afterall.

He would take time to chat with you in-between takes (or breaks in Musical Broadway). He would eventually find out that you don’t care if he’s a famous actor that enjoys his looks. He found himself being comfortable around you.

If the set you two are in has ended, he would be disappointed. That means, there’s no more reason to interact with you. But you surprise him by telling him that if he wants to hang out again, just call me. He was ecstatic.

Whenever you hang out though, it needs to be in-secret. He would have to wear a disguise if he doesn’t want anyone to recognize him while he’s hanging out with you. 

Where you hang out though is always a mystery. Sometimes in a park, sometimes in a amusement park, sometimes in a cafe, sometimes in a mall, and so on. It’s always random with him, but enjoyable nonetheless. 

But if someone caught him hanging out with you and post it online.It would cause a frenzy really. But don’t worry! Zen would one way or another calm it down and state that you two are just friends.

Zen would DEFINITELY get you to ride his motorcycle, but wouldn’t force you to ride it if you’re scared. BUT! He’s persistent so you have no choice but to give in.

If you like Musical, great! Then the both of you can jam out with Musical songs, that he may or may not have sung (COUGH Hamilton COUGH).

But after the incident of the online, you hang out in Zen’s apartment or yours. You two binge-watch Netflix shows or watch a movie. 

He would DEFINITELY force you to practice with him if he needs to practice for a role. But if the scene includes a kissing scene, he would kiss you on the cheek instead. 

If he’s comfortable with around you, he would tell you about his past. How his family doesn’t want him to be an actor, how they immediately disowned him and how he got depressed. 

You don’t need to talk really, comfort him. Pull him close and rub his back. “It’s alright.. I’m here.” Zen might burst into tears.

In the chatroom, you two act the same as usual. You actually mother the RFA. You reprimand him for being an addict to LOLOL. You reprimand Seven to eat other food other than Buddha Chips. You reprimand Jumin for being an workaholic, and for overworking poor Jaehee. The only one you don’t reprimand is Jaehee, she’s a precious angel. 

You would DEFINITELY be there for him whenever Zen would perform on stage or on screen. You are his number one supporter after all.

When he feels nervous, he’ll instinctively looks at you. You, in return, flash a reassuring smile. Then his confidence would be boosted and his nervousness goes away. 

This small action of yours, swells Zen’s heart. He’s glad to have a friend like you. A friend that actually supports him, a friend that loves him whole-heartedly, a friend that enjoys his company, a friend that will always be there for him. He finally found his longing friend. 

If MC has joined the RFA, you noticed Zen’s personality shift a bit. 

If you noticed how Zen and MC were falling in love, you would definitely be their Number One Supporter. 

If you know the Echo Girl incident, you might not intervene. Letting them handle it since it’s their problem. (lol savage friend)

After everything has ended, you would be supporting Zen full-heartedly. He wants to marry MC? Alright. Let’s plan the wedding and engagement. He wants to find a romantic spot for a date? Alrighty, let’s check Siri. 

You would be his Best Man (even if you’re a woman). He’s so nervous that he turns to you and you flash him a smile. The exact same smile you gave to him whenever he feels nervous. 

He would forever be grateful to you.

Overall, your friendship with him may not seem like much on the outside, but on the inside, you and Zen would feel like you’ve known each other for so long that you understand each other so well. This friendship is also a beautiful kind, pls treat this boi right.

Jaehee Kang

I would definitely think you two met during her college days. You two were paired up in a project and that’s how you two click. It was you two were meant to be, like two puzzles fit together. 

After that, you two would be found hanging out with each other. She admires your determination in finishing college and wanting to enter to your favorite job, while you admire her for her silent demeanor and how studious she was. 

You two would DEFINITELY be hanging out in the library or in either of your rooms, just reading or studying. But sometimes you two were seen hanging out in the park, cafe or around the campus. 

People might mistake you as a couple, but (of course) you two would deny it. 

Even after graduating, you two still kept in touch. If you two were working in C&R, you would definitely talk with her during breaks. If you two were working in two separate works, you would call her still. But even if this happens, it’s not guaranteed that she’ll answer your call or meet you during breaks (since Jumin dumps her lots of stuff).

You will help her in some, which she protest at first but ultimately gave up when she realized how stubborn you could be. 

If you two were hanging out in a rare day that she has a day off, she would make you binge-watch Zen’s performances, fangirling about it. You would support her of course, if you’re not a fan. But if you’re a fan, you both will be a squealing and fangirling mess.

In chatrooms, Jaehee would still be herself. You, on the other hand, would definitely play along with Seven’s pranks on Yoosung. Both you and Seven are partners-in-crime. Jaehee would definitely be the person who says “I don’t know that person. What’re you talking about?” while looking away from you.

If she’s overworking herself, you’ll immediately drag her away to relax herself. 

If she wants to open a cafe, you would definitely support her and be an employee of it. But that’s much later.

Actually, if she’s stress, she would definitely rant to you about how bad of a boss is Jumin. You would need to give her coffee and open the tv to watch one of Zen’s performance to calm her down. 

She would DEFINITELY open up her sexuality to you. You, of course, didn’t judge her and supported her.

If MC joins the RFA, you and Jaehee would be skeptical at first of course. A sudden girl suddenly entered the RFA without all of them knowing of her. It seems suspicious. But decided to shrug it off.

If you realize Jaehee is falling for MC, you would be suspicious of MC’s advances. So you decided to talk to MC about it. You know about the LGBTQ+ community, and fully aware of Jaehee’s sexuality. But you aren’t sure about MC.

You are only doing this because you don’t want Jaehee to be broken-hearted, to be lead on. So you had a talk with MC. And after that talk, you are now sure that MC loves Jaehee as much as Jaehee loves her. 

After all the fiasco ended, Jaehee resigned being Jumin’s assistant and opened up a cafe with MC. You became an employee of it but only on the weekends or you have free time. 

If ever they marry, you would be Jaehee’s maid-in-honor (even if you’re a boy. And no, you’re wearing a suit, don’t worry). You would be so proud of you for being who she was and you would be grateful to MC who made Jaehee who she was now.

I think this friendship is common but it’s also beautiful. It actually reminds me of my friends (now strangers.... unfortunately ;-;)

V

Ahh.  My husband. Here we go.

You two met when both of you were teenagers, when he was in a photoshoot. He accidentally took a picture of you, and he apologized for it but you reassure him that it was okay. 

After that meeting, you two became great friends. You also met Jumin and became friends with him. 

You two would be hanging out everywhere. Since he’s a photographer, he wants to take picture of everything that seems interesting. But sometimes, you would be found in V’s room, looking through his taken pictures in his camera. 

If you’re also a photographer, he would be so happy! He would take you everywhere that has a great scenery to hear the sounds of clicking of the camera. If you’re not, you can be his muse! (if you don’t mind, of course).

People wouldn’t mistake you two as a couple really, since they see how V sees you as a (sister/brother) and you to him. They can see it in the aura.

Few years past, and you met Rika. 

When you first met her, you could immediately tell something was wrong with her. You didn’t take Psychology in college for nothing! 

But you don’t have the heart to tell V about it, since he looks so happy with her. You can also tell that Jumin has a crush on her as well.

As days go by, you and V were falling apart. You two slowly didn’t talk anymore, which confuse you greatly. why was there a distance? did I do something wrong? did I say something? why? why? wHY? WHY?!

You felt empty without V. He was your half after all, a brother. Now he’s gone, you felt lonely without him.

You knew about the RFA. And Jumin suggested you to join, so you did. You felt better as you interact with the other members. Jumin could see it, Rika could see it, V could see it. 

But what drove you to succumb to depression, the last struck, was V’s death. That was the last one to destroy what little sanity you have left. You even tried to suicide, but Jumin caught you before you could try. 

You grew more depressed as the days go by. You wouldn’t come out of bed or eat the food given to you. This made the members of the RFA worry about you. So they tried their best to make you better. 

Jaehee tried to make you get out of bed to eat, but wasn’t successful. Zen tried to make you laugh with funny videos, which you turn your back on him. Yoosung tried to make you turn to video games for comfort, but he didn’t succeeded (he left with teary-eyes). Heck, even Seven tried! Well, tried as in making you a device but you ignored it.

Until Jumin was the one who ultimately made you stand up and eat. He said that if V sees you like this, he would be very disappointed and worried.

“He doesn’t care, Jumin. Give it up.”

“He DOES care, [Y/N]. Now, don’t be a child and stand up and eat.”

And that led you to arguing with him. You screaming that he doesn’t know what you feel, how it feels to lose a friend, and how you want to die. Until Jumin screams back at you,

“I ALSO LOST A FRIEND!”

You stopped. You literally froze as tears began pouring out of your eyes, now feeling guilty. You weren’t the only one who lost V, Jumin has and even Seven, who sees V as a father figure.

After that time, you started getting better. Jumin insisted you work in C&R, so you decided to agree. Life was turning for better until MC joins the RFA.

Ever since MC joined, many things have happened. You discovered V was still alive, how Rika tortured him and Saeran, how she’s the mastermind behind Mint Eye, everything was too much for you.

Even though you had a grudge against V for lying about his death, your hearts yearns for his presence. But when you saw how MC was persistent to save V, you joined her.

In saving V, you also saved Saeran. V apologized profusely to you and you forgave him. You thought everything was working.

But when V disappeared once again, you were sick of it. Sick of V always disappearing, so you cut your ties with the RFA. You moved into another country and lived there for the rest of your life, living behind everything you knew about them.

After years of living in a completely new country, you received a message in Korean. You saw it was from Jumin, you want to ignore it but you decided to read it. It was a picture of MC’s and V’s child. Then Jumin send another text saying, “Come back, he misses you.” 

You decided to return, only to be greeted by the RFA in the airport along with V and his child. You stared at them for a while before returning your gaze to V. Your lips turned into a smile, “hey.”

V smiled sadly at you, “hey.”

Overall, LOTS of obstacles you have to face in order to have this friendship. But there’s a saying that, “If you can say goodbye, then you can say hello once more.”. No matter how much you two have been separated by fate, you two will always be friends.

Saeran

You two would meet after he was saved by MC and Seven from Mint Eye. He would, of course, be hostile to everyone, even you. You two will meet when buying ice creams in a ice-cream stand.

He would push you away immediately if you want to get close to him, with his mindset in him still being dangerous and you untrustworthy. 

But if you start meeting every time Saeran goes out, you would slowly warm up to him. He would, at first, think you’re a stalker since its strange for the two of you meet everytime he goes out. He, of course, would still be hostile with you. 

If you manage to break his walls, he would slowly but surely open his heart for you. He’s still wary of you, that doesn’t change. 

You two will hang out either at their home or outside, near an ice-cream stand. 

People would not mistake you as a couple since they don’t look at you. Saeran glares at everyone who stares at you two, they’ll probably think overprotective brother instead.

He will NEVER bring up his past, ever. Even if he’s comfortable with you, he wouldn’t bring up his past. He’s still afterall afraid of what you’ll think of him. 

You wouldn’t know about his past, unless Seven mentions it. But you better never pry on it. 

You know when Saeran is comfortable with you since he lets you sit near him and shares his ice-cream with you, which lead to a pouting red-headed twin as he stares at the two of you from afar. 

If he has nightmares, he would lash out to anyone who’s in the same room as him. If you’re in his room and he has a nightmare, expect Saeran jumping on you and chocking on you. It’s either Vanderwood and Seven who has to push him off you to let you breath.

He would, of course, feel guilty for almost killing you so he outright avoided you. It will go on a while since he’s stubborn. You have to be the one to reconcile your friendship.

He always holds your hand, squeezing sometimes. It’s a tell-tale sign to him that you’re still here and not somewhere else. He trusts you so you better not crush it.

He’s like Seven in so many ways. When he trusts someone, it’s usually whole-heartedly. But, like Seven, he’s scared to break down his walls. To let someone enter into his heart only to rip it out. It’s too much for poor Saeran, so he cage himself.

If he starts to like MC, you could immediately tell. You would endlessly tease him about him as he tells you to shut up with a flushed face.

In secret though, you would have a talk with MC about Saeran. She would understand that you’re just worried about your (tsundere) friend, and she promises to love him for eternity. (COUGH reset COUGH).

You would definitely be his Best Man (even if you’re a girl), he would fight anyone who oppose it. (LOL I can totally see this happening).

Overall, this friendship is similar to Seven’s. It’s beautiful and it’s built on strong trust to one another. Pls don’t betray this ice cream bby. ;-;

[x] Main Page || [x] Mystic Messenger Page

[connor-murphy-trash]

It's contest time babies!!

This is very different than what I'm used to doing, but I want to start posting on this blog again so what better way than a contest just in time for the holidays!

All you have to do to enter is reblog/comment on this post or send me an ask off anon. LIKES DONT COUNT! 

On Thursday, December 14th, 2019, at around 12 noon EST (One week from when I'm posting this) I will choose the winners at random by putting everyone's name into a random generator and whichever 2-3 come up first will be the ones who are declared the winners.

Rules and what you will win are under the cut.

Rules:

You are allowed to enter up to five times and can do so in any way you would like. Wanna make five comments? Go for it. Wanna spam your feed with it? Feel free. Wanna do a mix? I’m not stopping you. This will make your name more likely to pop up because I will put your name into the generator up to five different times.

(Also note that if you don’t want to enter with your main blog, but don't want to reblog to a side blog just include the blog name you want to enter with in either a comment or an ask and I will do that name instead.)

Be understanding with how long it takes for the winners to get their prize. I will try my best to get them done before the 25th, but there are no promises. I am going to be busy this month so I will try my hardest to work on them whenever I can. If they aren’t done by the 25th I will almost definitely get them done before the month is over.

I will make a post once the contest is over saying who the winners are and they are required to contact me within 24 hours to claim their prize (After a little while I will most likely dm them if I can so I can start to work request and whatnot out with them) If I don’t get any response from them within that 24 hour time period I will choose someone else as a winner instead.

All winnings will be made public once they are finished.

The main characters that I write for are;

Dear Evan Hansen (Evan, Connor, Zoe, Jared, Alana) 

Newsies (Jack, Davey, Race, Crutchie, Katherine, Sarah)

Be More Chill (Jeremy, Michael, Rich)

I might do more than this, just let me know if you are interested in anyone else as I am also interested in a few other musicals and could write for them if need be. (These are just the people I'm most comfortable with)

General rules of how I write are;

I will not write smut (I will do implied)

I will not write any topics I am not comfortable with (mainly stuff I find triggering)

I will not write any topics I am not qualified to write for due to lack of knowledge/experience (Certain illness, religions, etc) ((For this because it is a holiday contest I can write very basic religious things, but I most likely won’t go into great detail as I don't feel I'm qualified. This goes for all religions including Christian (even though that's what I know most about as that's how I've been raised)))

All readers will be based on a female, but I’ll try to keep all pronouns gender neutral (I will write for any gender just specify it in your request)

All will be x reader. I don’t do ships

The winners will receive the following;

There will be 2-3 winners (depending on how many people enter or are interested)

First place: Custom x reader headcanons. You choose who it will be with. Then I can create a character similar to you or your appearance (ie plus-size reader, artist reader, deaf reader, Nonbinary reader, etc) but no matter what they will have Y/N as their name just so it's inclusive for others to read as well. The headcanons will be at least 500 words long. Even though this is a holiday contest, I won't write anything too religious (due to my lack of knowledge on the subjects) that being say, holiday and winter stuff is still encouraged but not mandatory.

Second place (only if there is also a 3rd, otherwise I won't be doing this one): A personalized ship. Basically, you tell me which fandom you want a ship from, and tell me a bit about yourself. After I get that info I will choose a person from that fandom that I ship you with. I will explain why I chose them, how you two got together and what everyday life is typically like for you two. I explain it a bit more in this post. Because this is a holiday contest I will also be doing how you two celebrate or just some cute winter things you do together if you don't celebrate the holidays.

Third place: A custom lock screen with the character(s)/lyrics/anything else of your choice. An example of something I could do is these ones I've made before, but really I can make it pretty customizable depending on what you want.

[xlovemusicalsx]

Masterlist

A/N: this Masterlist is ongoing and will be updated whenever I post something new. Anything that doesn’t have a specific gender in the title is gender neutral. Thanks for reading!

TUMBLR

Mean Girls

Janis Sarkisian x Female Reader

Newsies

Jack Kelly x Reader

WATTPAD

Be More Chill

Jeremy Heere x Female Reader

Christine Canigula x Female Reader

Christine Canigula x Female Reader (Book)

Mean Girls

Regina George x Female Reader

Regina George x Female Reader

Cady Heron x Female Reader

Janis Sarkisian x Female Reader (Book)

Heathers

JD x Female Reader

Heather Chandler x Female Reader (Book)

Heather Chandler x Female Reader Book (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL, COLLAB)

Dear Evan Hansen

Zoe Murphy x Female Reader

Zoe Murphy x Female Reader

Newsies

Davey Jacobs x Female Reader

Jack Kelly x Female Reader (Book)

Davey Jacobs x Female Reader (Book)

Waitress

Jenna Hutchersen x Female Reader

SIX

Catherine Parr x Female Reader

Anna Boleyn x Reader

[evan-hand-soap]

I have a sudden burst of motivation that’s been gone for months! Woo-

I’m doing writings, like I always have. STILL A MUSICAL FANDOM ACCOUNT BUT OTHERS ARE HERE TOO! I’m clearing out my inbox and starting from scratch(sorry if you never got a ship answered) I’m accepting scenarios/hc’s as well as ships/matchups!

Fandoms I’ll write for:

Dear Evan Hansen

Bnha/Mha(Boku No/My Hero Academia)

mAyBE some mcu Spider-man. I used to write mcu for fun a while back

(I’ll probably start writing for other musicals once i get back into the feel of writing a lot more)

Fandoms i might/will post for(including the ones i won’t write for right now):

Be More Chill

In The Heights

The Prom

Dear Evan Hansen

Sander Sides

Marvel

My Hero Academia

Rules and such stuff:

I will NOT do NSFW cuz I’m not comfortable with it

Will 1000% write for LGBT+ if asked/requested,, especially considering I’m part of it... heh

My accounts just character x reader things for now-

I’ll write angst things that involve abuse or self harm but will put warnings and, it’s fiction so PLEASE DONT DO IT

My writings will be mostly a fem! reader unless specified, only bcuz it’s a habit

If you specify to have gen. neutral, I’ll be happy to do that

You can request multiple characters/ppl for one scenario/hc but it might take longer than others

Max characters per hc/scenario thing is probably something like 4 until further notice?

I’ll write with curse words, if it’s not obvious

That’s bout it :)

Rules for matchups/ships

Feel free to throw in things about what you look like; ex- Hair color, height, eye color, etc.

Necessary things are like personality, hobbies, zodiac(ig), intrests, sexuality/gender preference, attitude(like shy, easily aggrivated, tired a lot, always anxious, witty/sarcastic, etc etc etc etc)

If it’s a request for bnha/mha let me know if you’d like it to be a student, pro, teacher, villain etc.

Something that also might help me out is if you like PDA, like affection or cuddling and stuff like that, or don’t like it and yeah..

Names and Ages aren’t really necessary but if you feel like putting it there, go ahead

I’ll also accept plantonic ships as well so feel free to send those in!

You can send multiple asks if it all doesn’t fit on one ask

Give me as much information as you’d like as long as i have the things I asked for with it

❤️

[you-thinks-wrong-romeo]

Masterlist

Masterlist updated very often! All written things are usually on here within a day. Likes are appreciated but, if you really like it, please comment and reblog it, too!

————

Headcanon Masterlist

How to be added to my Tag List

————

Key:

☼ - Fluff

☁ - Angst

♡ - Female Reader

♢ - Gender Neutral Reader

✩ - Male Reader

—

Be More Chill

Christine

Just You? [☼♢]

Jake

How Chloe Got Jake a Date [☼♡]

—

Dear Evan Hansen

Connor

Good Memories [☼♢] 

Not The Monster She Knew [☼♢]

Weekend With Connor [☼♢]

Falling for a Dork [☼♡]

Zoe

Someone To Rely On [☁-☼♡]

—

Mean Girls

Aaron

Letterman Jackets [☼♢]

Gretchen

Hamlet (Not x reader) [☼]

Janis

First Dates and Ferris Wheels [☼♡]

Did You Mean It? [☼♡]

Weaknesses [☼♡]

Helpless [☼♡]

Constants [☁♡]

Too Gay to Function [☼♡]

“I fucking hate Halloween.” [☼♡]

Match Made In Heaven [☼♡]

Karen

The English Quiz [☼✩]

Regina

Regina x Sweet reader [☼♡]

It’s a Date! [☼♡]

—

Newsies

Albert

Hooked [☼♢]

Hooked 

Hope

Jack

Kelly in the Refuge (Platonic) [☁♡]

JoJo

Finally! [☼♡]

Race

Jealous [☼♡]

[filmprojector-anon]

Prologue

Hello there! I’m the Film Projector Anon, and I write for fandom ships and also do character x reader drabbles!

Primarily, I write for:

• Newsies

• Be More Chill

• Dear Evan Hansen

Although if I’m familiar enough with another show, I’ll write for it too!

A few housekeeping reminders:

• I’ll tag my writings with “Ask 📽” or “Ask Film Projector”

• Please, no actor x reader asks

• Unless specified, I’ll try to keep all writings gender neutral

• NSFW asks will be tagged accordingly as “NSFW”

• Feel free to send asks in!

[chincilla-on-the-moon]

My Whole World- Connor Murphy X Reader

Request:  I am in desperate need of a fic where Connor finds that the reader struggles with self harm and where he helps them though such thoughts and just ends with some fluffy cuddles. Anything is better than what’s going on rn - Anon

Word Count: 1009

Warnings: Implied Self harm (cutting), Self-loathing, Self-hatred, Feeling like a burden

Authors Note: Hello! I know I’m literally the worst ever but honestly existing this past year has been really hard which makes doing the things I enjoy, like writing, really hard to do. BUT I do finally think I’m reaching a better place, (I know I say this like every authors note but I really think I am this time). Also saw the DEH movie last night and ended up sobbing over Connor I love him so much :((. Lastly and most importantly: if you ever feel like self harming there are alternatives! If you need resources about this feel free to message me or send me an ask! I’m more than happy to help <3 Thats it. As all ways thank you for reading and have a lovely day/night! :) <3

You were having an awful day, an awful week even. It seemed everything that could go wrong did. It just seemed the world was against you and you were tired of it. You were approaching your breaking point and fast. You could see this but you didn’t know what to do about it. You could reach out to your boyfriend Connor. But no he was doing so well recently and you didn’t want to burden him or bring him down with your negative thoughts. So you decided to do what you always did which was just distract yourself from your emotions because if you didn’t think about them they weren’t there. You put your earbuds in and put on one of the playlists Connor had made for you, once you got home and went up to your room without saying a word to anyone and plopped face down into your bed. For a couple minutes you were able to ignore all the thoughts racing through your mind but eventually the music stopped working and you were left alone with your thoughts. 

You’re pathetic and a burden to everyone. Why would anyone want to deal with you, especially Connor? You’re probably the most annoying person on the planet right? With your constant pestering and need for reassurance every two seconds it’s truly a wonder that you haven’t been abandoned by everyone in your life. 

You were angry at yourself. How could you possibly let yourself be this awful of a person? You wanted to do something horrible to yourself as a punishment, to force yourself to feel the pain you bring to everyone in your life. 

The next time you had a coherent thought was at least a half hour later. You felt a stinging sensation coming from your wrists and started crying as you fully processed what you had done. Without realizing it you texted Connor asking him to come over. You just sat waiting staring at nothing until Connor knocked on the door to your room. You were broken out of your trance and weakly said “It’s open” so he knew he could come in. 

Once Connor opened the door he knew something was up. The energy in the room just felt wrong. Then he saw your hunched figure on the bed and could tell something was up just by how you were sitting and approached the bed slowly so as to not startle you. Once he came into your field of vision you broke down even more feeling so pathetic in this moment. “Oh sweetheart,” he says softly. He sat down in front of you and took one of your arma in his hand and inspected the damage gently. He did the same with the other and once he was done he opened his arms and you crashed into his chest, violently crying at this point. He held you tight and pressed soft kisses into your head. He just let you cry it out rubbing soft circles into your back but while he was he couldn’t help but think how could the light of his life ever feel so bad that you felt you had to do this to yourself? 

Once your cries had calmed down to soft sniffles every once in a while he said “Let’s get you cleaned up then we can cuddle. Sound good?” You nodded tiredly. “Okay let’s go to the bathroom,” he said, grabbing your hands to pull you up and guide you to the bathroom. Once you got there you sat on the counter and Connor got to work. He carefully applied antibiotic ointment and bandages to the affected areas and when he was done pressed gentle kisses to all of the bandages.  After that he cleaned up his ‘workspace’ and led you back to your bedroom. The two got ready and had settled into your bed when he broke the comfortable silence that had settled between you two. “You know we have to talk about this right?” You nodded timidly. “Why?” he said simply. You explained how terrible this week had been for you and how it all got to be too much. The whole time Connor listened with his undivided attention on you, holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles with his thumb. At some point while you were explaining you had started crying, He sat up causing you to sit up as well. He grabbed your face, wiped your tears and stared deeply into your eyes. It felt like he was staring into your soul but you didn’t look away. After what feels like an eternity he finally spoke up and said “I don’t know how you could think all those awful things about yourself. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. Your kind, smart, compassionate, not to mention most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re not a burden to those around you, especially not me ever. Next time you feel like this, I want you to talk to me okay? I’m here to help you. I know you would do the same for me in a heartbeat so let me help you. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you, you’re my whole world.” You were crying again but for the first time today they were happy tears. 

“Thank you for always reminding me how loved I am. I love you so much Con,” you said smiling through the tears. 

“I love you more Y/N/N,” he said, smiling sweetly at you. He gave you a tender kiss on the forehead and then said “You’ve had a long day we should get some sleep.”

“Yeah you’re right,” you said through a yawn. The two of you got cozy again, your head on Connor’s chest, his hands running through your hair. The sound of his heartbeat, the one he swore beat for only you, lulled you to sleep. The last thing you heard before you felt before you fell fully unconscious was a kiss being pressed to the top of your head.

[underoossss]

Only Us - Sam Holland 

pairing: Sam Holland x Reader (Gender Neutral)

A/N: Listen, i solemnly believe that Sam Holland is brodway musical trash okay he definitely loves them from Wicked to Newsies to Hamilton fight me on this so i had to write it okkkkk. The title and the song are from Dear Evan Hansen because I’m trash.

In The Moment Kiss - Maybe it’s in the middle of an argument or you just looked to damn beautiful not to kiss, but their lips were hot against yours and it felt too good to stop.

The house was quiet, a beautiful glow from the sun setting outside bathed the kitchen in orange as you and your best friend baked pumpkin bread. The last days of october had arrived so the both of you decided to bake everything pumpkin while you still had an excuse. Sam’s broadway playlist filled the kitchen with songs the two of you loved, musicals being one of your many shared interests. You looked over your shoulder from where you stood mixing dry ingredients, because chef Sam didn’t trust you with breaking eggs, to where he stood carefully measuring the ingredients and pouring them in the bowl in front of him.

A small smile came to your lips as he moved his head along with the music and mouthed the lyrics to himself, you heart somersaulting and aching at the same time. You had told yourself a long time ago that you wouldn’t let your feelings for him ruin your friendship, you were too scared to take the risk and say something anyway. But still your mind always wondered what if you actually said something? What if the two of you have a chance at being something more?

It was as if someone read your thoughts when the next song reached your ears reflecting what you were wondering.

I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you I don't need you to search for the proof that I should You don't have to convince me

Ever since you met him, you harbored feelings towards him that you couldn’t put a name to back then. Now you called it love, you fell as hard as you possibly could with every little bit of him. His smile, how kind and caring and loving he was with his family, his dammed freckles and how he was always there when everyone else seemed to look the other way. If you reached out your hand his would always find yours.

So what if it's us? What if it's us And only us

Sam already won your heart a long time ago, he’s all you’ve ever wanted. Everything I still want, you thought to yourself as you sang softly while absently mixing, though the contents of the bowl were probably more than mixed. 

I never thought there'd be someone like you who would want me, so I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go But if you really see me If you like me for me and nothing else Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer that you could possibly know

Sam smiled as your voice reached his ears, it was soft and beautiful and he swore he could listen to your voice every day and never get tired of it. The song playing through the speakers made him wistful think about you feeling the same about him more than usual. It’s no secret that he has been completely gone on you for a long time, well, no secret for anyone else except you. He’d do anything, anything, to be with you or kiss you or hold you as more than just your best friend. But it was for the same reason that he never did anything, because it’s better to have you with him as a  best friend and pine over you forever than to risk lose you by telling you how he felt. 

He walked towards you and smiled as he took the bowl out your hands to begin mixing both dry and wet ingredients. Loving you from afar was better than not having you with him, but still he longed for you, sometimes so much it made it hard to breathe. If you ever came to want him, then he’d be more than willing to give his everything to you. 

Sam didn’t realize that he had started singing too until you look up at him with the biggest smile on your face. He rarely sang, much to your dismay since you claimed he had a beautiful singing voice. Sam smiled back as you joined him singing, if singing got him to see such a bright smile on you then hell he’d sing to you every second of every day until his throat wouldn’t allow it anymore. 

We can try that You and me That's all that we need it to be And the rest of the world falls away And the rest of the world falls away

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, Sam’s voice made it do all sorts of twists and flips filling you with so much love the smile on your face was hurting your cheeks. You had heard feelings laced with the lyrics he sang, so you let yourself indulge in the moment singing with him like the two goofs you always were together. Your voice must have been more than off-key but you didn’t care, Sam’s eyes were telling you something and yours were screaming I love you, and it can be us if you let me. 

The world falls away And it's only us

Both of your voices quieted down, Sam gazed softly at you as the song ended. You were the most beautiful sight he’ll ever see even more when your cheeks changed to a shade of red as you blushed, like they did right then, because Sam can’t ever catch a break. Not helping himself he leaned forward, his hands on your cheeks as he brought your lips together. 

In that moment the feeling of your lips and his together became your favorite feeling ever. They were warm and soft and he kissed you in such a tender way your stomach was filled with butterflies, your toes curled and you lost your breath. Not wanting to be apart for even a second, your arms went around his neck feeling Sam’s soft curls you have always adored. His smile matched yours as the both of you giggled against each others’ lips, eyes closed and chests pressed together. 

“Did you mean that?” You asked softly, your heart still pounding on your chest.

“I’ve been in love with you for 8 years so yeah, I think I meant it.” You didn't need to open your eyes to see his teasing smile and he didn't need to open his to know your cheeks were burning even as you rolled your eyes. 

“I love you too, you know.” You whispered against his lips, “So much and for so long.”

“I know now,” His lips joined yours again and you gladly kissed him back that is until Harry cleared his throat from the doorframe eyeing both of you with a smirk on his face. 

“This is cute and everything, but can you finish the pumpkin bread first?” Sam’s twin feigned annoyance but a smile was still on his lips as he turned and headed for the living room.

“Hey Tom, you owe me 20 bucks!” Both of you heard him yell which made you laugh and Sam blush a deep shade of red, holding you closer and leaning down to hide his face on your neck. 

taglist: @tomhollandhollaatme @parkerbenjaminpeter @parkerroos ❤️