#dear aaron header

[artiemisia]

⊹ dear aaron headers ɞ..

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© templates by @loviestudio

[literaredits]

mariana zapata messy headlines headers. like or reblog if you save/use it. don’t repost.

[maddiesflame]

Dear Aaron headers

like/reblog if saved © maddiesflame

[towersedits]

dear aaron

author: mariana zapata

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[tobeehuman]

Dear Aaron Headers

like or credit julietteferrars on twitter if you saved

[dearholder]

Dear Aaron headers like if you save/use | if you use © dearholder on twitter

[nathanbatemanfucker]

my dear!!! the hotchs tits theme is FABULOUS!!!!! also how funny that before i saw you tagged me for credit for the header image i saw it and went “aaah yeahhhh thats one of mine 😎” also congrats on the milestone and graduating!! 💕 (🧨 for the song association!!)

em, hi my sweet! i totally forgot to change the credits in my post and then i was like OH SHIT. but yes, aaron’s tits 2.0 for the celebration babyyyy 😎. thank you thank you!

🧨 song that reminds me of you: specifically i remember you talking about a tennis skirt and though i have no idea what you look like i just imagine your tennis skirt swinging to this song as you walk <3

join my celebration here! 🔥

[awritingtree]

So this just happened

I never thought I’d have even 100 followers, much rather 650. It’s hard to believe there are over 650 people following me like what why?? I can’t even imagine that many people. Thank you for following me 🥰 I hope I continue or start (if you’re new) to meet your expectations for whatever reason it is you followed me for. I am so grateful for each and every one of you. I love you all ❤️

And now for a few sappy words to my mutuals:

@loony-loopy-lupinn - My Dear Huffleypuff, I don’t even know where to begin with you. We just clicked and I am so grateful to have a friend like you whom I can talk to anything and everything about. You are a brilliant writer and your brain comes up with such amazing plots, it blows my mind. Our cold shower conversations make my day. Also Spencer 😍 Other than that, you are such an amazing, sweet, kind, beautiful (inside and out) and strong individual and I am so proud to be called your friend. I love you 💙

@pregnant-piggy - the minute I went to tag you, my mind went “TIMOTHEEEEEE” 😂 Your asks about Timothee always make my day because what a gorgeous human. You are such a sweet and nice person. You help me when I’ve ever asked for anything and always give such motivational speeches to me. You believe in me even when I don't and I am so thankful for that. I love you Dev 💙

@heloisedaphnebrightmore - you’re the reason I started posting on this blog so thank you 😂💙 You are a strong, beautiful, fun and overall bright person to be around. I loved freaking out over The Punisher and generally enjoy all of our talks. You are such a superb writer and thank you for making me start simping over Ben after your fics

@just-a-belgian-girl - Shaynaaa. You are such a sweet and amazing human, I love talking to you. Your character/fandom header making skills are so good like wow. We haven’t talked much recently but I love you 💙

@iliveiloveiwrite - Millie, love. All I have to say is Aaron Warner 🥰😍 okay but seriously, thank you for introducing to one of my loml and for letting me react/ramble to you the entire time I read the series. You are such a sweet and cool person! Your writing is just so so so brilliant, I don't even know how to begin to express how much I adore your writing and fics. Your Draco fics, as I've said before, are god tier. I can even imagine you publishing a book! I love you 💙

@lenalxvegood - Lena! We haven't talked much but everytime we do, it makes my day. You are such an amazing person. You are one of the first fanfic writers that I followed on this blog and your writing is just so good 💙

@approved-by-dentists - Clarissaaaa!! I still can't believe I had that dream about Chat Noir 😂 you are such a brilliant writer like omg. Even more, you have such a bright energy and seeing you on my feed makes me happy 💙

@ickle-ronniekins - we don't talk much but I'm glad to have found someone who is as bad at texting back as I am 😂 your writing is so amazing and magnificent, I get excited whenever I see you've posted something 💙

@gryffindors-weasley - we haven't really talked much but I feel happy whenever I see you in my asks 🥰 and you're always up to help me when I'm having trouble with a fic idea and I love you for that! 💙

@kashishwrites - my mind always goes "my cute friend!!!!" whenever I see your name because you are very very cute 🥰 you don't post anymore but I have always loved your writing. I hope your book writing is going well! (I hope I'm remembering this right) 💙💙

@amixedwitch - your mood boards 😍😍 I'm happy to have found someone who also ships Luna and Harry and doesn't see the hype of Hinny that much. We are a rare species. I'm very excited to read your series, I'll get around to it soon I promise! 💙

Some other mutuals I love: @le-weasley-simp​ @dracosmainhoe​ @leahstypewriter​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @remmyswritings​ @haracelovestruck​ @with-love-anu​ @gcdric​ @iamninaanna​ @pansydaisy​ @coffee--writes​ @aprilsrant​

I’m sorry if I forgot anyone but I am literally half asleep and scrambling to make this post so I can get back to studying for my test this Monday. I’ve said this before but I truly love each and every one of you ❤️

[wellyfullofale]

i’ll never send it, anyway

Aaron's counsellor tells him to write a letter to Robert with all of his feelings.

(or, self-indulgent pain relief that i cried whilst writing. should probably come with a heartbreak warning.)

Word Count: 2,175

AO3 link here

There’s five balls of paper scrunched up at his feet already, another one lying aimlessly beside the door after having been catapulted across the room.

Aaron bites down again on the end of the pen – some freebie from a supplier that Adam’s probably had in his mouth at some point too, the realisation of which makes him grimace and pull the pen from between this teeth – and he taps the end of it at speed against his notepad.

He doesn’t even know why he’s doing this.

Well, that’s a lie.

He’s doing it because his counsellor told him to.

“It might help you get some clarity if you write it all down,” she’d said.

He’d resisted for three sessions, questioned what the hell the point was in writing things down when he’d said everything he needed to say to Robert already.

The look she’d given him at that point made it pretty clear she didn’t believe him for one second, and Aaron had sighed and dodged the question.

He’d carried on grimacing whenever she’d suggested it, until one not-so-special session where she asked him to write down the three most important things in his life onto a slip of paper, and he’d realised that seeing -

1.    liv

2.    mum

3.    me?

- written on a scrap of paper with some medical suppliers details on the header had actually managed to given him a little perspective.

So maybe his counsellor hadn’t been completely hopeless, after all.

So here he finds himself, pen in hand, wondering how the hell he’s even meant to start it.

Dear Robert seems too formal.

Hello too…not him.

Hi seems like they’re mates, and he’s not sure that’s the message he wants to be giving Robert right now.

He scrunches up another sheet of paper and fires it in the direction of the bin; misses.

Robert,

He starts, staring down at the word until it becomes blurry between the feint blue lines on the page.

What now?

He shakes his head and he presses the biro to the page, making a little squiggle before pulling it away and tapping the other end of the pen against the page again, sighing loudly as he stares at the ceiling.

“Doesn’t even matter,” he mutters out loud to himself after a few minutes.

It’s not like he’s even going to send the letter – that had been the condition he’d given his counsellor. He’d do it, but no way was he sending it.

She’d told him that was fine, that the point wasn’t to tell Robert, but to get things clear in his own head, and he’d found himself strangely eager to get it done once that penny had dropped.

It had seemed so much easier that way.

Robert,

He looks down at the page again; exhaling sharply before biting down on his lip and letting himself open up.

My counsellor made me write this. You’re never going to read it so I guess it doesn’t really matter what I say, does it?

He reads the sentence back to himself, let his eyes scour back and forth over the words, barely legible in his scrawled handwriting. He resists the urge to rip the page from the spine of his notepad and hurl it across the room to join its brothers on the floor.

“Just fucking write it,” he mutters to himself again, scrubbing his face with his hands before allowing himself to try and order his thoughts.

Robert,

My counsellor made me write this. You’re never going to read it so I guess it doesn’t really matter what I say, does it?

I don’t even know where to start. What am I even meant to be saying to you? Whatever I couldn’t say to your face? Okay then.

I wish I didn’t feel anything when I see you

He rips at the page, feeling a tear tracking down his cheeks as he scrunches the paper into his palms and drops the crumpled remnants of it back down onto his desk.

He feels the need for some air, grabs his gloves and heads outside of the portacabin, kicks at the tyre of a car as he makes his way over to the racks to start pulling at the parts in need of sorting.

It’s almost an hour later when he lets himself give up; when he feels his breathing return back to normal and that ache inside of his stomach lose intensity; when he’s written the letter twelve times over in his head and knows what he needs to get onto that paper.

He takes a deep breath and heads back to the portacabin, gloves thrown aside as he makes his way back to his desk and smooths his palm out over the crumpled up paper that still rests on his desk.

He sits down and picks up his pen, reading over what he’d written an hour before, and he lets his thoughts spill out onto the paper, writing so furiously he gives himself a cramp; tears littering against the page, pausing in parts as the pain of what he’s writing causes him to almost double over in grief.

He pushes past it, knows he needs to finish this now he’s started, can feel it working as he lets the words spill out of him onto the page, can feel the cloud clearing somewhat.

He can feel a weight lifting as he finishes it; can feel fresh air filling his lungs for the first time in a month.

He wipes his eyes and holds the letter out before him, letting his eyes scan over the page to read his thoughts back to himself, choking down the tears as he does so.

Robert,

My counsellor made me write this. You’re never going to read it so I guess it doesn’t really matter what I say, does it?

I don’t even know where to start. What am I even meant to be saying to you? Whatever I couldn’t say to your face? Okay then.

I wish I didn’t feel anything when I see you around the village. I wish looking at you didn’t bring up everything I still feel for you. I wish you hadn’t put me in this place where I can’t just love you the way I want to. Where I can’t just be with you the way I want to. I can’t sleep – I haven’t slept a full night since you moved out. I can’t bear waking up in the night and you’re not behind me, I can’t feel you beside me – you were always so warm, always there – and it hurts. It hurts so much Robert. You were supposed to be there, sleeping next to me, for the rest of my life. And now what do I have? Nothing.

Staying away from you is so hard. It hurts so much.

I’m angry at you Robert – I’m angry that you did this to us, after everything. You sat and you promised me once that you only wanted me, that you wanted messed up with me forever. That you were sure, and that you loved me. Did you even mean it? Did you? Because I tell myself you did, and I believe it so much of the time, but then I remember what you did, and a part of me feels like I’m never going to be enough for you, Robert. Like you’re always going to be looking for something better, because that’s what you’ve always done before, isn’t it?

Am I ever really going to be enough for you?

And this isn’t about forgiving you. I said I forgave you for what you did, and I do forgive you Robert. I know us. I know what happened. I know that I pushed you, and I’m angry at myself too because I made mistakes as well. But it doesn’t end there, does it? It doesn’t end with us both making a mistake and moving past it. There’s more now, isn’t there? And I can’t handle it. I wish I could be a better person – the kind of person who wouldn’t hate your child and wouldn’t just break down at being reminded every single day about what you did – but I can’t do it. I can’t do that to myself.

Do you see that I can’t?

I hope you can see it. I hope you can see how much I want you still – I’ll always want you – but how much I can’t do it for the sake of myself. I need to be better than I am, Robert. I need to be able to cope with things better than I do. And I don’t trust myself around you – I nearly hurt you, didn’t I? I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you which were my fault. I couldn’t live with myself, if I hurt you. I need you to be okay, and I need me to be okay too. And right now, we can’t be okay if we’re together.

As much as it hurts. Every single day.

We need to be apart. I need to learn to live without you, and without the way that I hate myself some times when I’m around you, and the way that it hurts to have to talk to you about being a father, when all along I want us to be doing that together. I hadn’t even thought about it – hadn’t thought you’d ever want to go there – but now I realise you’re going to be such a good dad, and I just wish it was something we could have done together. But it isn’t. It isn’t now, is it? There will always be this. And I can’t stand it. I can’t live with it. It hurts just so much, Robert. So fucking much, and I hate the way it makes me feel.

Not all of the time – I don’t want you to think that you didn’t also give me the best times of my life, and I will forever appreciate that you were there for me and that you stepped up when I needed you the most – but right now, how my head is, I can’t be around you. I can’t be reminded every day of the way you broke my heart.

It hurts too much. Right now.

Right now? I know how that sounds. It sounds like this isn’t forever, doesn’t it?

I don’t know if I’m saying I’m always going to feel this way. I know I’m always going to love you – I said that and I meant it. If I couldn’t stop before there’s no way I can stop now, not after everything. Maybe in time I can get my head around things, but not now, and not any time soon.

I don’t know if I should even be saying this. Should I be giving you this hope, knowing that I might not be able to get past all this?

I don’t suppose it matters. It’s not like I’m ever going to give you this letter, anyway.

I suppose if that’s the case I can just tell you that I love you.

I miss you.

I miss how we were – how you made me feel on our wedding day. How you made me feel like we’d finally made it. Like we could finally be how I’d wanted to be for so long. So long, Robert. Sometimes I think you must really have no idea how much I love you.

And sometimes I think you’re the only one who understands it at all.

I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I know I will never love anyone like I love you.

But I know that I need to love myself a little bit, too. So that’s what this is – that’s what I’m trying to do.

You’ve got to let me do that, too – and learn to love yourself a more, too.

Please, just – don’t forget me, okay? Don’t forget what we had. I couldn’t bear that.

You’re the love of my life, Robert. You always will be.

Look after yourself.

Aaron

  He wipes his hand down his face again, tears staining his cheeks and nose running as he takes a deep breath to steady himself.

He folds the paper in half, scribbling Robert onto the front of it and underlining his name twice. He doesn’t know why he does it – has no intention of ever showing the letter to his husband – ex-husband – but he places it back down on the desk and takes a deep breath.

He smiles to himself.

Something feels…settled; clearer, somehow.

Maybe his counsellor had been right.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulls it out to find Cain ringing him and demanding his assistance at the garage.

He throws the letter under a pile of papers, mutters to himself something about dealing with it later – sure he’ll probably burn it or something – before quickly scooping up the discarded balls of paper around the floor and chucking them into the bin before leaving the portacabin, door slammed shut in his wake.

[gadgetsrevv]

Bournemouth 1-1 Everton LIVE: Score, Premier League news, Dominic Calvert-Lewin levels | Football | Sport

BOURNEMOUTH 1-1 EVERTON – WILSON (22), CALVERT-LEWIN (45)

Bournemouth XI: Ramsdale, Cook, Ake, Rico, Stacey, Billing, Cook, H.Wilson, King, Solanke, C.Wilson

Everton XI: Pickford, Coleman, Keane, Mina, Digne, Delph, Schneiderlin, Richarlison, Sigurdsson, Iwobi, Calvert-Lewin

Callum Wilson opens the scoring when Everton fail to clear a corner

Striker Dominic Calvert-Lewin levels on the stroke of half-time

BOURNEMOUTH 1-1 EVERTON

45: And we’re back underway folks.

Incidentally, Dominic Calvert-Lewin ended a run of 971 minutes without a Premier League goal, since netting against Newcastle in March. I knew you were desperate to know that piece of information.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Premier League score, goals and updates (Image: GETTY)

BOURNEMOUTH 1-1 EVERTON

HT: And that’s the last action of the half. And by my calculations, it’s set up nicely for a barmy second 45 minutes.

BOURNEMOUTH 1-1 EVERTON | DCL

45: GOAL! It’s all-square at the Vitality Stadium as the much-maligned Dominic Calvert-Lewin levels for Everton.

Richarlison whips a devilish cross into the penalty area where DCL rises highest to thump a header past Aaron Ramsdale.

44: Massive chance! Josh King squares it for the advancing Billing, whose goal bound effort is deflected wide by Morgan Schneiderlin. That was heading in.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

42: Another animated figure is Fabian Delph, who just received a booking for a high challenge on Harry Wilson. The former Manchester City star screams at his team-mates for improvements.

Close! Nathan Ake collects the diagonal free-kick and his wayward effort is deflected behind by Dominic Solanke.

39: You don’t often see Digne that animated. DCL just fluffed a reasonably good chance from just inside the penalty area and the Frenchman gives him an earful.

37: Close! Lucas Digne finally wriggles free of Jack Stacey down the left. He clips it to Richarlison, who glances it wide of the post. Billing was in close attendance.

35: The Cherries win a corner but inexplicably decide to take it short having just scored from a set-piece. It doesn’t work and Gylfi Sigurdsson hoofs it forward.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

33: Bournemouth win another free-kick in a threatening position as Callum Wilson goes down rather softly under pressure from Seamus Coleman. Harry Wilson’s effort is blocked by the wall.

30: Lucas Digne has ben unusually quiet for Everton this afternoon. He usually links up well with Bernard, but the Brazilian is warming the bench today.

27: I should mention that there was a VAR check to see whether King had used his arm to keep the ball in play. It was inconclusive and the goal still stands.

Bournemouth’s Josh King has been directly involved in eight goals in his eight Premier League matches against Everton (4 goals, 4 assists).

25: Callum Wilson looks to double the lead shortly after but he’s a fraction offside when trying to lob Jordan Pickford from 25-yards out. Everton look a touch rattled – especially Michael Keane.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Premier League score, goals and updates (Image: GETTY)

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

BOURNEMOUTH 1-0 EVERTON – WILSON

22: GOAL! The deadlock has been broken – and it’s Callum Wilson with the goal.

Diego Rico flicks a corner to the back post. Josh King just about manages to send it back into the six-yard box, where Callum Wilson nips in to head past Jordan Pickford.

21: Woodwork! Richarlison is allowed to drive forward in a central position and he doesn’t need a second invitation to fire at goal. The Brazilian’s fierce effort clips the top of the crossbar with Ramsdale stood motionless.

19: Aaron Ramsdale vs Dominic Calvert-Lewin. The first battle of the afternoon is won by the Bournemouth goalkeeper, who rushes off his line to block a prodded effort from Everton’s striker. Richarlison’s pass was just too heavy.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

16: Richarlison and Alex Iwobi have already switched flanks for Everton. Manager Marco Silva not happy with his team’s work-rate. Demanding his forwards press every ball in the Bournemouth half.

13: Bournemouth are growing into things now. And they have themselves an excellent opportunity with a free-kick in a central position around 20-yards from goal.

The Liverpool loanee steps up… poor. Didn’t really catch it and Pickford easily collects.

10: And that’s why Everton need to be careful. They’ve dominated the opening stages but one quick counter-attack nearly gives Bournemouth the lead. Josh King lays it off for Billing, who places the ball wide of the post.

7: Sigurdsson, fresh from his goal for Iceland during the international break, nearly catches Ramsdale cold with a cross/shot that the stopper tips over the crossbar.

The Cherries clear the first corner and the second… never arrives because of an infringement in the box.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

5: It’ll be interesting to see how Jack Stacey, 23, performs today. The summer signing from Luton makes his first start for the Cherries. Eight assists last year.

Anyway, Everton have a corner after Alex Iwobi shanked a squared cut-back from Richarlison. It comes to nothing with Nathan Ake clearing.

3: You always forget just how intimate Bournemouth’s ground is. Sky Sports cameras feel like they are virtually on the pitch.

Quick start from both sides. No passing around the middle – it’s been attacking and direct. I’m fairly certain we’ll see goals.

BOURNEMOUTH 0-0 EVERTON

1: And we’re underway at Dean Court. Or do we call it the Vitality Stadium? Whatever it’s called – the games has started. Just thought I would make that more difficult than it needed to be.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Here they come!

13:55: The players have lined up in the tunnel. Everton in royal blue with Bournemouth in their normal red and black stripes. No many pleasantries between the two sides – usually there’s a hug or chat or something but all players look totally focused.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Twitter round-up

Jon: Interesting to hear Harry Wilson talk about the differences between the Premier League and Championship ball and the adjustments he’s had to make to his technique. You never really even think of that.

Ally: Interesting to see how Solanke does today after Abraham’s hat trick yesterday and good start to the season..

Carl: Can any Everton fan explain why Kean is on the bench again and Calvert-Lewin starts? Just don’t understand the logic.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

The Wilsons

13:45: Sky Sports are doing a feature on Harry and Callum Wilson called Meet the Wilsons. Not accusing them of stealing my idea – but you have to admit that it’s a little close to The Dominics…

Anyway, the Bournemouth duo are having a chat by the sea and Harry’s just told a story that his grandad put £50 on him to play for Wales one day. And it returned £125k! Retired the very next day.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Golden Silva

13:40: Everton boss Marco Silva has lost against 22 of the 26 teams he’s faced in the Premier League – but he’s yet to lose against Bournemouth (P4 W3 D1 L0).

A little later

13:35: Time for some seamless self-promotion, folks. Just a quick reminder that we’ll have LIVE coverage of Watford vs Arsenal immediately after this one finishes on the south coast.

That’s Watford, who are now managed by Quique Sánchez Flores. Why does that sound familiar…

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Where’s Andre?

13:30: And his glorious barnet? Marco Silva has the answers.

“He felt something after the Wolves match. He tried to work during the week but in the last days he felt it again. He will miss the game today,” Silva explained.

“It’s the ribs. It’s something we will have to see day by day how he recovers from that situation. What we want to do is get him ready as fast as we can.”

Young Cherries

13:25: The average age of Bournemouth’s starting XI today is 24 years and 195 days, making it their youngest ever starting line-up in a Premier League match.

24y 195d – The average age of Bournemouth’s starting XI today is 24 years and 195 days, making it their youngest ever starting line-up in a Premier League match. Ripe. pic.twitter.com/pXKAgT5zdO

— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) September 15, 2019

Twitter round-up

Fawwaz: Today’s game features the two best free-kick takers in the Premier League. No doubt.

Tom: That’s a poor first XI. Morgan Schneiderlin and DCL, dear me. Andre Gomes a big loss. We’re not winning this one.

Adrian: No three points are a given in the Premier League especially away from home, hopefully we have the right mentality for today’s game and are on the front foot from the the first whistle.

I believe Fawwaz is referring to Lucas Digne and Harry Wilson. And I believe Fawwaz is completely correct.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

The Dominics…

13:15: We finally get to see a straight shoot-out between Calvert-Lewin and Solanke – something I’m dubbing: The Battle of the Dominics. Highly original, I know.

Both were members of England’s heroic Under-20 World Cup victory in 2017.

However, they have taken very different paths since that great success. DCL, until the arrival of Moise Kean, has ben Everton’s main striker – fending off Cenk Tosun.

While Solanke, 22, was sold by Liverpool for big money to Bournemouth – where he’s made two Premier League starts.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Team news – Bournemouth

13:10: Eddie Howe shakes things up with four changes from the defeat to Leicester.

Quite surprising these. Ryan Fraser, Jefferson Lerma, Chris Mepham and Adam Smith (hamstring) drop out of the starting XI.

They are replaced by Dominic Solanke, Diego Rico, Jack Stacey and Lewis Cook – Cook who starts after playing 60 minutes in a behind-closed-doors game earlier this week.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

Team news – Everton

13:05: Marco Silva makes two changes from the side who beat Wolves 3-2 at Goodison Park before the international break.

Andre Gomes misses out through injury with Morgan Schneiderlin replacing the Portuguese international.

Dominic Calvert-Lewin makes a return to the starting XI, he’s in ahead of summer signing Moise Kean.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Line ups confirmed, Premier League latest (Image: GETTY)

The sides…

13:00: And here are the line-ups. Quite a few surprises in there – Moise Kean drops to the bench with Dominic Calvert-Lewin leading the line. Dominic Solanke starts his first Premier League game of the campaign.

Bournemouth XI: Ramsdale, Cook, Ake, Rico, Stacey, Billing, Cook, H.Wilson, King, Solanke, C.Wilson.

Subs: Boruc, Simpson, Lerma, Ibe, Fraser, Simpson, Mepham.

Everton XI: Pickford, Coleman, Keane, Mina, Digne, Delph, Schneiderlin, Richarlison, Sigurdsson, Iwobi, Calvert-Lewin.

Subs: Stekelenburg, Holgate, Walcott, Sidibe, Bernard, Davies, Kean.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Premier League score, goals and updates (Image: GETTY)

So, draw?

12:55: Predictions. Bit early to be guessing the result today – but I can’t help myself given the two clubs’ records.

Bournemouth are unbeaten in all four of their top-flight home games against Everton.

However, the Cherries have won only one of their last eight Premier League home games.

The goals-per-game ratio in this fixture is 3.9 – that’s 31 goals in 8 games. So I’ll plump for a 2-2.

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Premier League score, goals and updates (Image: SIMPSONS)

Afternoon…

12:50: Hello everyone and welcome to our LIVE coverage of Bournemouth vs Everton from a glorious Vitality Stadium.

How’s everyone feeling today? We had the annual carnival down my way last night. Y’know – torches, floats, fairground rides and the rigged ring toss game.

Didn’t win the ring toss despite burning a cool £50 on 900 throws. I did, however, come home with a goldfish. So… pretty successful evening.

Enough of that nonsense – I’ll have all the team news and line-ups for you in around ten minutes. Standby…

Bournemouth vs Everton LIVE: Premier League score, goals and updates (Image: GETTY)

BOURNEMOUTH vs EVERTON – TEAM NEWS

Lewis Cook will be assessed before Sunday’s clash having been absent with a knee injury since December 2018.

Neither Lloyd Kelly and Simon Francis are ready for competitive action but have resumed training.

Marco Silva has summer signing Jean-Philippe Gbamin on the sidelines as well as back-up goalkeeper Jonas Lossl.

Source link . More news

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[imaginingcriminalminds]

Just Another Tiny Secret

HEADER FORM (General) Title: Just Another Tiny Secret Author: souloutside-xx Rating: T  Prompt/Summary: Imagine Prentiss informing Hotch that she’s pregnant. Main Character(s): Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss Trigger Warning: Nope. Word Count: 1,588 Beta/Editor: me Multishot: I don’t know, it may have a follow up but i’m not quite sure yet Author’s Notes: so this got a bit out of control bc i really wanted to tell a story, solid stuff. i hope you enjoy it anyway :) there’s a bit of sexual content but very very slightly (bc i was trying to keep this fluffy)  Any spoilers for either S11 or S12?: No, it’s s7 (Painless - 07x04)

 Although her smile was sincere and so was his, both of them knew there was something else behind her sudden approach. Hotch could almost sense a nervous tinge with her every word, like they were precisely measured to don’t give too much away. If he had to be honest with himself, the Unit Chief had a clue – alright, he was sure - of what was the matter with his dearest subordinate. Still, he didn’t want to push. Rebuilding bridges – especially between the two of them – was something he was more than willing to help her, but sometimes one needs to let other reach for.

 And Prentiss pleaded them without a single word to don’t make it easy. She wanted to prove she was herself that she could fight for them. Whether they agreed with it or not, the team promptly complied - some more than others, matter of factly.

 Since the whole situation with Doyle, her exile in Paris and her come back from ashes, the dark-haired man gave his feelings a great deal of thought. It was a dim night, shortly after he made up his mind about his mission in Pakistan. His daydreams drifted as Dave’s voice played on repeat in the back of his mind.

“Emily and Haley”

 Reality hit him brutally, shoved in those damn shades of black he used to fairly admire from his office window – and it was quite what he got stuck at. From the color of doe eyes to that perfect silky hair he’d often dreamed to run his fingers through, trailing her shirts and jeans and all the last details he could recollect.

 He was falling. Hard. And there was one single problem.

 Emily Prentiss was dead and miles away, somewhere in Europe.

 When she returned, visibly tired, different and with that excruciating doubt if she indeed belonged there, the father of one knew it was his time to step in. He wanted to build something with her, he wanted to have a chance, and he was more than done waiting to act on it.

 Dave eventually endorsed his plans. The dinner, the house, the opportunity he dreaded for. She’d need a lift, he’d have a car, they could talk, finally be able to speak what they ever wanted to, put an end to that profound connection they unconsciously constructed between them. It was a long time coming for any bystander.

 However, Hotch’s expectations were overcome – as much as her own - and, by the end of that same night, he’d hold her draped against his body, drowned in that post-coital haze that both of them found to be a much better heal than any therapy could do. They’d felt complete, each of the three times they succumbed to the unique warmth they found in there. It was moment out of time.

 Morning arrived as a reminder that the brunette pair had a choice to make. Albeit Emily’s dark orbs matched a shade of tenderness she read on his hazel eyes, the younger agent wasn’t ready to take the risks. Not yet.

 Just weeks later – one or two, both couldn’t quite remember – there was a get together at a local restaurant. Emily realized Hotch was trying to compensate her for what she’d been through the last months and, regardless most of her hated the extra attention, deep down she was thankful.

 That night, after declining Morgan’s offer to join him and PG in their post-dinner drinks, the ambassador’s daughter made up her mind about them. He deserved happiness and so did she. And if they were supposed to have this together – for she swore to God she never saw the man with such wide smile than while he nuzzled her forehead -, then let it be.

 It was a grip on his forearm, gentle and unsteady and anxious and all at once. It was a smile, inviting and calm and anticipating. Then it was his lips on hers, his fingers entwining her hair, their hands drawing patterns in a desperate need-driven minute.

 Emily woke up to his sleepy tousled hair, his slender frame covering hers in such a way she couldn’t gather words to describe. For the first time in long while – she knew this phrase was a damn cliché – she felt safe, protected.

 Only now she sat across him with a tiny piece of them growing within her, small, unnoticed, and ready to shake their lives upside down. Although Hotch made clear throughout the years he was definitely a family guy, the brunette woman wondered idly if he would take this well. Part of her blamed them for not doubling birth control, part of her fantasized about a small child of them in her arms – dark hair, dark eyes, the father’s dimples and the mother’s lips.

 Yes, definitely a sight she was looking forward to. Emily fidgeted slightly under the table that separated them. She introduced their conversation with a family subject – Jack, who she needn’t to know further to understand there was something just odd about the little boy these last weeks – and then he quickly turned to her stay in Paris.

 Almost, but very much so, she chickened in the last second. With a breath kept in her lungs, the soon-to-be mother softened her natural smile, used his disarmed posture to bring up her real intentions.

“There’s something we need to discuss” it was barely a whisper, a tone above it or something.

“Go ahead” the older agent encouraged her for he always had an unbelievable knowledge of her behavior.

“Hotch…” she blew some air, averted his infinite gaze, an unsuccessful attempt to ease the tension on her shoulders “I don’t know how to say this”

 The Unit Chief eyed her tell carefully, pondering whether this was the time to ignore professional boundaries and interlace her feminine fingers to his gun calloused digits. He had to, he just had to.

“Sweetheart” they came in touch, skin on skin above the surface, right where anyone with a pair of eyes could see. He didn’t miss how she shifted on her seat, probably startled by his gesture. “It’s…”

“No, Hotch, I need to tell you” she looked down at their hands, mingled so casually, like they have been doing this for a lifetime “Hotch, I-I’m… God, why this is so difficult?” he squeezed her hand, softly, enough to reassure her “I’m… pregnant”

 Notwithstanding he was plenty aware of her announcement, the father of one – two – rarely restrained his emotions to flow wildly, painting every line on his face whilst he gave her a bright grin. Heartfelt, kind, hopeful. All of the walls she had built to seclude herself from feelings, crumbled with silent grace, opened up to what he was offering right in front of her. She could read it from his posture to his eyes, every curve longing to tuck her into his arms and hold on for dear life.

“Are you sure?” he was about to explode, she was too, but he maintained enough rationality to assure that this was not another dream – the man was whipped, goddamn he was.

“Yes, I mean, my practitioner confirmed before this case” her gasp was contented and his chuckle formed as a mere outburst of how gleeful he was, perhaps the dark haired man wasn’t even aware he actually did that.

“This is…” he leaned back on his seat, creating more space between them therefore he could slip his free hand through his hair, dimples never leaving as he shook his head in amusement.

“Scary, but awesome” her eyes lingered on the interactions of their team, each one apparently lost there and none minding the unprofessional moment on the back of the jet – that’s what she supposed, at least.

“Hey” a hint, tiny one, gave away what she was seeking with that conversation: reassurance. Emily Prentiss was a strong, independent woman - Hotch would never doubt that for minute. But he could tell what days hiding it from him brought her. A bit of anxiety, a bit of second guessing… he was feeling it himself if he had to be honest. “We’ll work this out as soon as we land”

“It’s not gonna be easy, you know, there’re a lot of people into this” looking down at her – still – flat stomach, his dearest subordinate cupped where their baby probably rested, before she finally glanced up at him “And I just came back… I don’t know”

“I wish I could tell you everything will be fine and perfect, and we’ll be happy-go-lucky whole way through it, but…” he sighed, intense stare proving his point and the veracity of his sentence “I’m willing to go through it, Emily, if you want me to.”

 His eyebrows raised the slightest, hazel eyes glowing as they opened a quarter more, allowing the younger agent to fix his sight on him. She was aware Strauss would use this against them, also the possible intercurrences still to come and what other agents would gossip about her. Put aside she’d be grounded until she came back from maternal leave. Over one year without field activities. And though such idea enraged her, it was necessary to keep that little piece of them secure.

 She could do that – they could – and Prentiss knew that’s what she intended from the very beginning. Closure.

 Thus, her answer was bit sheepish, mouthed while she caught a glimpse of JJ approaching to take a seat on the other side, but he saw truth therein, and that’s what he accepted as meaningful, “I do”.

[andrewgalbraith-etc]

Sending an Email via Outlook Using PowerShell

Recently, our HR department came to us requesting that, if we could, put together a form that would allow for reporting of people’s outstanding vacation time before the end of the calendar.

Seeing as Paylocity didn’t offer anything worthwhile, I offered to write the thing myself assuming, as with most things, how hard could it possibly be? 

Honestly? Not all that hard with a few minutes of googling.

Operating under the notion that this problem could most likely be solved via a mail merge, that was the route I initially pursued, which led me to this site. Link to the source, but the meaty bits of it are below for reference:

Requirements

Microsoft Office 2007 or 2010 must be installed on your computer including Word, Excel, and Outlook.

Your PLOW email account must be configured in Microsoft Outlook.

Your PLOW email account must be set to an unlimited message rate. Please contact your District Office and ask to have your account changed to an unlimited rate.

Prepare the recipients list

You should store all of the recipient's information in an Excel spreadsheet.

The first row of the spreadsheet should contain column headings such as First Name, Last Name, and Email Address.

Each recipient's email address must be in a column by itself without the full name, angle brackets, quote marks, or other special characters.

Each recipient's information must be listed on a separate row.

Row and column example with column headings: 

First Last Email JaneSmithjane.smith@gmail.com JohnDoejdoe@yahoo.com RobertRoebob@msn.com

Prepare the email message

Start Microsoft Word and begin a new blank document.

Switch to the Mailings ribbon.

Click on the Start Mail Merge menu and select the E-Mail Messages option.

Click on the Select Recipients menu and select the Use Existing List option.

Browse and select the Excel spreadsheet you created earlier, and then click on the Open button.

In the Select Table window, click on the name of the sheet that contains your recipient's information.

Compose the body of your message using Word:

To customize the contents of your message with information from your spreadsheet:

Save the body of the email message the same way you would save any other Word document.

If you have options for Sheet1, Sheet2, and Sheet3, the information is probably on Sheet1.

If you entered column headings in the first row of your spreadsheet, make sure the First row of data contains column headers option is checked.

Click on the OK button.

You can switch back to the Home ribbon to add formatting including bold, italics, font colors, and headings.

Not all formatting will visible to all recipients. Outlook users will see most of the formatting. Web mail users will see bold, italics, and lists but not font styles or colors.

Position the cursor where you want to insert the data.

Switch to the Mailings ribbon.

Click on the Insert Merge Field menu and select the field containing the data you want to insert.

Send the email messages

Switch to the Mailings ribbon.

Click on the Finish & Merge menu and select the Send E-Mail Messages option.

From the To drop-down menu, select the field containing the email address of each recipient.

In the Subject text box, enter the subject line used for the email message.

From the Mail format drop-down menu, select the HTML option.

For the Send records radio button, select the All option.

Click on the OK button to send the messages.

Email Merge Tips

If you customize the message for each recipient, use the Preview Results button on the Mailings ribbon to see the data from your spreadsheet in the body of the message instead of the field names. Use the arrows to right of this button on the ribbon to preview different records from your spreadsheet.

Customizing the email message for each recipient is easiest when the information is split into several columns. For example keeping the first name and last name in separate columns is better than keeping them in a single column called name. You can always put two fields together in your message, but pulling fields apart is much more difficult.

If you send newsletters or flyers as PDF attachments, consider publishing the PDF on your website and then using email merge to send a notice with a link. Later you can check your website's statistics to determine how many people downloaded the PDF.

You may want to add yourself as the first recipient in your spreadsheet so you can test the message delivery. Use the Preview Results button to view the message you will receive. Follow the sending instructions, but change the Send Records option from All to Current. This will send only the message currently being previewed through Outlook.

Realizing that this wasn’t necessarily a panacea so much as it was drudging up more questions that it solved, I opted to dig deeper and see what else I could find. The typical routes - Microsoft, Chron, Superuser, yielded things that looked like answers, but it only drew me in further. 

Finally I stumbled on to two sites that had fantastic examples and allowed me to build something from the ground up in VS Code using PowerShell.

The first example comes from: https://www.jasonpearce.com/2016/02/08/mail-merge-email-via-powershells-send-mailmessage/ 

# This script will perform a mail merge for email from a CSV file # The CSV file must contain a column of email addresses, other columns with other data are optional # Created by Jason Pearce, 2016 February

# #################### # BEGIN Example CSV File (optional) # ####################

# CSV Example: A CSV file that could serve as an example (maybe replace with youremail+example1@gmail.com to test) $CSVExample = @" Email,FirstName,LastName aaronanders@example.com,Aaron,Anders bettyblue@example.com,Betty,Blue charliecook@example.com,Charlie,Cook "@

# CSV File: Optionally create a CSV file to play with $CSVExample = Out-File -FilePath "C:\temp\example-csv-file.csv"

# #################### # END Example CSV file (optional) # ####################

# #################### # BEGIN Variables # ####################

# From: Name and email of sender $EmailFrom = "Your Name <youremail@example.com>"

# Reporting: Report on Success and Failure (optional) $EmailDeliveryNotificationOption = "onSuccess, onFailure"

# Server: Your Exchange or SMTP server $EmailSMTPserver = "smtp.example.com"

# Users: Tab-delimited list with columns named Name, Email, SamAccountName $SourcePath = "C:\temp\example-csv-file.csv"

# Import: Import the comma-delimited list of users (if tab-delimited, add '-Delimiter "`t"') $Users = Import-Csv -Path $SourcePath

# #################### # END Variables # ####################

# Begin Loop: Do the following with each row of the file you imported, referencing columns by their header foreach ($User in $Users) {

# To: User's email address $EmailTo = $User.Email

# Subject: Email subject (may merge variables) $EmailSubject = "A personalized example for " + $User.FirstName + " " + $User.LastName + "."

# Body: Email body, with HTML formatting $EmailBody = "<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC ""-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN"" ""http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"">" $EmailBody += "<html xmlns=""http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml""><head>" $EmailBody += "<meta http-equiv=""Content-Type"" content=""text/html; charset=UTF-8"" />" $EmailBody += "<meta name=""viewport"" content=""width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0""/>" $EmailBody += "<title>" + $EmailSubject + "</title>" $EmailBody += "</head><body bgcolor=""#FFFFFF"" style=""font-family: sans-serif; color: #000000"">" $EmailBody += "<p>Dear " + $User.FirstName + ":</p>" $EmailBody += "<p>Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.</p>" $EmailBody += "<p><ul><li>Your First Name: <strong>" + $User.FirstName + "</strong></li>" $EmailBody += "<li>Your Last Name: <strong>" + $User.LastName + "</strong></li>" $EmailBody += "<li>Your Email Address: <strong>" + $User.Email + "</strong></li></ul></p>" $EmailBody += "<p>Phasellus nec sapien sit amet mi maximus venenatis.</p>" $EmailBody += "<p>Sincerely,</p>" $EmailBody += "<p>Your Name</p>" $EmailBody += "</body></html>"

# Merge: Conduct the email merge, sending emails (remove -WhatIf) Send-MailMessage -To $EmailTo -From $EmailFrom -Subject $EmailSubject -Body $EmailBody -BodyAsHTML -SmtpServer $EmailSmtpServer -DeliveryNotificationOption $EmailDeliveryNotificationOption

} # End Loop and Script

The other site: http://sigkillit.com/2015/02/18/mail-merge-with-attachment/ details the steps as well quite nicely.

Step 1 – Create Data Source

I will use a users.csv as the data source of users we want to email.  The users.csv file will look as follows:

FIRSTNAMELASTNAMEEMAILUSERNAMEPASSWORD

Josephsmithjsmith@domain.comjsmithVideoGame01

BillContosobcontoso@company.combcontosoLilyFlower18

JimRufusjim.rufus@yahoo.comjrufusStuffedAnimal23

Step 2 – Create Outlook Profile to Send Mail Merge From

Now that you have your data source, you’ll need to make sure you have an Outlook profile.  This profile should be setup with the email address you wish to send the mail merge from.

Step 3 – Create Powershell Script

In the below powershell script, you’ll need to modify the following variables:

$DataSource – Path to the data source (users.csv) file created in step 1 $AttachFile – Path to the file to attach to the email $EmailSubject – Subject of the email

In addition to modifying the above variables, you’ll need to modify $Mail.Body, which is the body of the email.  The below example is referencing data fields in users.csv for the mail merge, which you may want to modify.  These correspond as follows:

$($_.FIRSTNAME)  – FIRSTNAME field in users.csv

$($_.LASTNAME) – LASTNAME field in users.csv

$($_.USERNAME) – USERNAME field in users.csv

$($_.PASSWORD) – PASSWORD field in users.csv

Special Note:  To add a new line in the body text use a backtick + n ( `n)

Extra Special Note:  If you want to have the email body be HTML formatted instead of Plain Text, just modify $Mail.Body to $Mail.HTMLBody and add your HTML tags in the text.  Using the example above:

Step 4 – Send the Mail Merge

Open Microsoft Outlook with the profile created in step 2 (It is required for Outlook to be open in order for the powershell script to work!)  Then open Powershell, and run the powershell script in step 3.  You can confirm the emails are sending by looking in the “Sent Items” in Outlook.

Note: – If you’re using User Account Control (UAC), Outlook and Powershell must be running at the same security level.  This simply means, if you open powershell using “Run as administrator” you must open Outlook with “Run as administrator”.  Alternatively, if you open powershell normally (not elevated) you must open Outlook normally (not elevated).

I found both of these sites to be most helpful out of all the searches I’d performed up to this point. Spiceworks, Technet, MS Docs, and Stack Overflow were relatively helpful in clearing up some oddities, but not enough to address the overall issue. 

Using those two sites and the code therein, I was able to generate a .csv in excel and knock out the below PS script:

Actually, thinking about it, stack overflow did help me with one persisting issue and that was using the Cc field in addition to the To field to include the users manager. Particularly this thread, which helped me realize that the CreateItem(0) needed an additional numerical type to recognize the process. 

After that, it worked as intended.

Overall work and investigating totals out to less than 3 hours once the initial bumps are overcome. 

[terabitweb]

Original Post from Rapid7 Author: Shelby Pace

I am Root

An exploit module for Nagios XI v5.5.6 was added by community contributor yaumn. This module includes two exploits chained together to achieve code execution with root privileges, and it all happens without authentication. A single unsanitized parameter in magpie_debug.php enables the ability to write arbitrary PHP code to a publicly accessible directory and get code execution. Privilege escalation happens through the combination of a command injection vulnerability in the autodiscover_new.php file and the ability to execute that same file with sudo without supplying a password.

Enumerate all the Things!

Our very own asoto-r7 contributed three modules to enable enumeration of useful Amazon Web Services (AWS) information. With an ACCESS_KEY_ID and a SECRET_ACCESS_KEY handy, you will be able to find EC2 instance information, IAM user accounts, and S3 bucket info.

SilentCleanup UAC Bypass

Community contributor cbrnrd added a Windows exploit module that returns an elevated session. The SilentCleanup task in the Windows Task Scheduler executes a file whose path contains a user-controlled environment variable all while running with elevated privileges. The environment variable can be changed to a new value, thus enabling the execution of arbitrary code with elevated privileges.

A New Diary Entry

Dear diary, Today I had unauthenticated remote root with a side of Ghidra reversing.

Last quarter we introduced a new series called the Metasploit Development Diaries. Dev diaries shed light on how vulnerabilities and exploitable conditions (whether true bug, feature, or foreverday) turn into full-fledged Metasploit modules. In this quarter’s development diary entry, William Vu takes a deep dive into the exploit and underlying vuln for a buffer overflow in the Cisco RV130 VPN router. The write-up even includes some reversing with Ghidra. Earlier this year when this vulnerability was first announced, Rapid7 Labs’s investigated the exposure of affected Cisco devices and found nearly 12,000 affected devices exposed:

Read this quarter’s dev diary and more Rapid7 research here.

New modules (5)

Nagios XI Magpie_debug.php Root Remote Code Execution by Chris Lyne and Guillaume André

Windows Escalate UAC Protection Bypass (Via SilentCleanup) by Carter Brainerd (cbrnrd), enigma0x3, nyshone69, and tyranid

Amazon Web Services EC2 instance enumeration by Aaron Soto

Amazon Web Services IAM credential enumeration by Aaron Soto

Amazon Web Services S3 instance enumeration by Aaron Soto

Enhancements and features

PR #12008 by egypt ignores the response code returned while checking for the vulnerability in the exploit/multi/http/struts2_content_type_ognl module. This allows for more vulnerable targets to be detected.

Bugs fixed

PR #12017 from community contributor aushack fixes an issue in exploit/unix/http/xdebug_unauth_exec that prevents a nil error in the case that HTTP headers aren’t returned in a response.

PR #12013 by wvu-r7 ensures that the SRVHOST option in exploit/multi/http/confluence_widget_connector is a valid callback address.

Get it

As always, you can update to the latest Metasploit Framework with msfupdate and you can get more details on the changes since the last blog post from GitHub:

Pull Requests 5.0.30…5.0.34

Full diff 5.0.30…5.0.34

We recently announced the release of Metasploit 5. You can get it by cloning the Metasploit Framework repo (master branch). To install fresh without using git, you can use the open-source-only Nightly Installers or the binary installers (which also include the commercial editions).

#gallery-0-5 { margin: auto; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-0-5 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-0-5 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

Go to Source Author: Shelby Pace Metasploit Wrap-Up Original Post from Rapid7 Author: Shelby Pace I am Root An exploit module for Nagios XI v5.5.6 was added by community contributor…

[footballleague0]

Man City romp while Arsenal will rue misses at Chelsea and Liverpool can’t defend

Craig Burley recaps Saturday’s Premier League fixtures, headlined by Man City’s emphatic display vs. Watford. Craig Burley recaps Saturday’s Premier League fixtures, headlined by Man City’s emphatic display vs. Watford.

With draws for Chelsea, Arsenal, Tottenham and Liverpool, suspicions that this year’s title race will be an exclusively Manchester affair are deepening. City made short work of poor Watford, and while Everton responded well to an early thunderbolt from Antonio Valencia, they were eventually vanquished by another one of United’s unstoppable, late, late showers of goals.

At the other end of the table, Roy Hodgson’s honeymoon with Crystal Palace lasted precisely six minutes. Still, it won’t always be this hard, Roy. What’s that? Manchester City, Manchester United and Chelsea all up next? Oh, dear. Oh, dearie me. After a month at Selhurst Park, it’s just possible that those memories of Iceland in Nice won’t seem so bad after all.

Performance of the weekend

We wondered how long it would take before Manchester City clicked. Well, 15 unanswered goals in three games suggests that the correct answer was 3½ games. Liverpool, reduced to 10 men last week, were blown away last weekend. Feyenoord, with 11 men, were blown away in midweek, and poor Watford caught the worst of it on Saturday, shipping six at home to Pep Guardiola’s irresistible attack.

This doesn’t mean they’ll automatically win the title. There’s a long way to go, and titles are won with consistency more than with flair. But with Kevin de Bruyne in “player of the year” mode and the duo of Sergio Aguero and Gabriel Jesus singing in harmony, it’ll take something special to stop them.

Goal of the weekend

Poor old Everton. Clearly, they set out with the intention of sitting deep, packing their half with blue shirts and frustrating Manchester United until they became complacent and susceptible to the counter-attack. It was a strategy that worked for just less than four minutes. Antonio Valencia can rarely have hit a ball so cleanly or with so much power. Even Jordan Pickford, the brightest light in Everton’s dim campaign so far, had no chance of reaching it.

Miss of the weekend

Alexandre Lacazette was one of the players to miss a gilt-edged chance.

It’s been nearly six years since Arsenal last took so much as a point from Stamford Bridge, and they’ve scored there only twice since that extraordinary 5-3 win in 2011. Scoring opportunities in that arena are not to be spurned lightly. And yet Alexandre Lacazette did exactly that on Sunday afternoon, wellying the ball over the bar from close range when Aaron Ramsey hit the post in the first half.

More worrying than Lacazette’s miss, however, was Alexis Sanchez’s reaction. Was he … laughing? Ah well, can’t blame him for being human.

Why don’t they learn?

Jurgen Klopp defended his team in midweek after sloppy defending cost them a crucial victory over Sevilla and, three days later, sloppy defending cost them a crucial victory over Burnley, as well. It’s almost as if there’s some sort of prevailing theme to their season. The Reds have managed just two clean sheets in eight games this season, and it’s just possible that Ragnar Klavan, Dejan Lovren and Joel Matip might not all be of the required standard for a title push.

Klopp is going to have to do something to improve this defence because the patience of the Liverpool fans won’t last forever.

Statistic of the weekend

5 – Crystal Palace are the first side in English top-flight history to open the season with five defeats and no goals scored. Woe. http://pic.twitter.com/umoc2RwDdb

— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) September 16, 2017

We all knew that Crystal Palace had made a bad start to the season. But did anyone suspect that it was the worst start ever? Did anyone have an inkling that no team, of the 2,465 incarnations of teams to have started top-flight seasons, had ever lost their first five games without scoring a goal? It’s a record that stretches back to England’s first season in 1888, a time when players wore trousers and heavy cotton shirts, the football weighed the same as a family car (two family cars when it was wet) and there were no crossbars. We’re actually quite impressed.

Bad day at the office

You have to respect Marco Silva for his optimism. Beaten out of sight by Manchester City, the Watford boss calmly dissected the game afterwards. “I think the first goal was offside, the second goal we made a big mistake and maybe the third goal is offside, too; this is the truth,” he said. Fair enough, Marco. It was just a bit of bad luck then.

Tactical masterstroke of the weekend

It was looking bleak for Bournemouth when manager Eddie Howe turned to Jordan Ibe and told him to get warmed up. The Cherries had dominated possession, but without ever causing Brighton serious problems, and they were heading for their fifth successive defeat. Ibe changed the game in a matter of minutes. First, he released Andrew Surman with a bold back-heel into the Brighton penalty area. Then, he put Jermain Defoe through for the winner with a deft pass. At £15 million, Ibe had looked an unwise investment until Friday night. Now he has finally offered value for that money.

Bad deal of the weekend

Costing me a fortune , from his academy days at nffc, it’s always been a fiver a goal

— jill lascelles (@JillLascelles) September 16, 2017

You have to be really careful with what you promise your children, certainly if you’re the mother of Jamaal Lascelles.  Promise them ice cream if they behave and you’d better make sure the freezer is stocked. Promise them £5 per goal when they’re young and you really should put a time limit on the offer just in case they become a professional footballer and hit an unlikely purple patch, smashing home two match-winning headers in six days.

Mrs. Lascelles is already £10 out of pocket for September, and if her son and Newcastle keep prevailing at set pieces, she may wish to consider taking out a loan.

One to watch next week

Sending a Crystal Palace side that hasn’t even scored a goal this season to Manchester City is tantamount to lowering a very plump lamb into a pool of particularly peckish piranhas who were a bit too busy for breakfast and got stuck in a meeting until 2 p.m. and were, until this moment, giving serious thought to eating pebbles.

The current record victory in the Premier League era is Manchester United’s 9-0 win over Ipswich in 1995. Let’s see how long that lasts.

Iain Macintosh covers the Premier League and Champions League for ESPN FC. Follow him on Twitter @IainMacintosh.

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