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sugarakis-p2 · 3 years

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Mothman Shigaraki: Massacre at Circus train Desma

Midge is sold to the circus and is most interested in the mythical monster Mothman. Everyone claims he's just a mindless monster but Midge can't believe that's true. He's really is one of the nicest Monsters on the train.

Four part story.

Warning! NSFW, Lemon on every chapter. Some of my darkest content! Noncon elements, murder, knotting, the circus!< the last one should scare you

Chapter 1: Welcome to Hell

Midge once heard stories of kids running away with the circus. That sounds like a choice; she was never given a choice about it. Mama sold her for two bushels of apples. In those stories, the kids have fun. But they never tell you about the horrid smells, the vile food, and the long hard work day in and day out. When she is presented to the animal keepers, they groused.

"Aw hell, Jon! Couldn't you at least get us something cuter to look at?" "She's just here to shovel out shit and slop," Jon tells Earl . "She's handsome enough for that, I'spos. Besides, I likes 'em a bit younger. This one looks to be in her twenties. How old are you, girl?" "A hundred." She says timidly. She is immediately smacked for it. "Wach, yer mouth!" She nods. Midge has been hit plenty of times. She hopes he gives her the occasional smack than what it sounded like he wanted Jon to buy her for. "Now, now. Ya bitched about needing an extra hand on account Abe's lost most of his fingers. She was cheap and worked on a farm." Jon looks at Midge.

"Earl is head animal keeper, then there's Abe, Dan, Hog, and Sally." Jon handed her a hat, leather gloves, leather boots, a blue work shirt, and worn overalls. "Welcome to the team, kid."

Midge allowed herself that one's night cry. After that, she had to go numb and grind at life. She doesn't want that gross man Earl to think she is weak and soft enough to touch. The animal keepers lose parts. This is not want she wanted to do all her life. She becomes quick friends with the two youngest, Hog and Sally. She is set to the task of helping them feed and keep the exotic and strange animals. Most are old and docile. A pride of lions so old most were missing their teeth. The Circus train Desma carried three unique mythical attractions. A unicorn, which was an old nag that had a deformed tooth growing from its head. A condor with a skin condition that made it scaly, which they called a dragon. And a winged creature which was called a Mothman.

Midge is instructed to feed it with only the steel dog bowl, and it used a bucket. Only the long sticks with it, never let it get close enough to grab. The first brutal week, she hadn't even seen it. It was always dark; it had built an enclosed birds' nest of grass and branches. As far as Midge could tell, it was just a pile of weeds that ate and drank daily. She's sore. Not even the Farm worked her this hard. The train is terrifying. Sometimes they would have to walk up top as the carts swayed.

It was close to carnival time. There was excitement in the air. This was when the animal keepers had to work the hardest. All the pens get a scrub down. She took a small break as the more experienced men handled the dangerous part of transferring the animals into the display cages. They are eating caramel apples, and Hog hands her one. Midge asked Hog and Sally about the Mothman."If it can use a bucket, why isn't it with the freaks?" She asked. "Cats can use a litterbox; that doesn't mean they are human," Sally replied.

"The Mothman is deadly. Very dangerous. I don't think Earl likes you very much. He's given you more work than usual. They use spears to get it in the display cage. We have to scrub its cage anyway. You want to see it?" He asked with reverence. "Is it real," She asks. Sally shudders, and Hog has a strange gleam in his eyes.

They take her to watch a brutal scene of Earl, Abe, and Dan stabbing at the nest until something black and white darted in the show cage. It huddled in the corner, keeping its face and body out of sight. From the back, it really did look like a giant moth. Inky black wings with intricate white patterns that wrapped around its body. She could see white fur and hair, with long white antennae's waving out the top of all that fluff. It is beautiful.

"Look closely. The wings have human skulls. That's the closest thing to death we'll get to see before our last breath," Hog says. Unnaturally poetic. Once they cart off the miserable thing to have snot-nosed, kids throw things at it when the parents aren't looking.

Hog helps her into the Mothman's cage. Where they are set to the task of cleaning. Hog is a skinny young man with piggy eyes and nose. It hurts to look at him sometimes. Sally is plain and standing around watching them work. She never cleans because she is screwing Abe. Sally tells Midge if she would just put out, she wouldn't have to work as hard. Earl, Dan, and Abe are grotesque meaty men with huge noses and mean tempers. She would rather muck shit.

"Suit yourself. Bet I bet Hog here would do half your work for a little kiss." She teases. Hog blushes and tells Sally if all she's there for is to stir shit, she can fuck off. "Bit harsh," Midge tells him. "I was being nice to the skank. Don't ever feel pity for her. She ain't like you. You really do work. At some point, her pussy will get her in trouble, and she won't be able to fuck her way out of it." The cage is dusty, but other than that, it's immaculate. It smells of pine, and as they sweep the dust, it makes her shoes sparkle like black gold. She looks inside the nest; upon closer inspection, he uses flyers and newspapers inside too. Little scraps of a can, tin, and a tiny piece of broken mirror decorate the inside. It liked shiny things.

She wanted to see more of him. She started by feeding him the slightly better food from the mess tent. Sneaking parts of her meal and sweet-talking the chef. She would talk to the nest, telling him about her worries and stresses of the day. She would sneak him shiny little bits she found here or there or stole. After a while, she could see red eyes watching her. He still wouldn't let her see all of him.

"Midge, come drink with us." Hog insisted one night. He is drunk and a little rough as he grabs her by the wrist, forcing her to sit with them. It was pleasant, Earl and Hog danced like fools, and Abe told dirty jokes. Dan passed the bottle around. They got so wasted they passed out. It is the first night she had been happy. Midge took what was left in the bottle and went to talk to the Mothman. She emptied the booze into his bowl. She has to get on her knees to push it in by hand. The long stick forgot in her stupor.

She blinked, and he was in front of her. He's a handsome pale, tall man, scars all over his body, mostly around vibrant red eyes. He's naked, magnificently sculpted muscles carved in his slim body. His groin is a soft diamond of white fur that fades as it travels up to his belly button. A white sable collar of coat around his neck. His face is framed by long white hair. Heavy chained bags cap his fisted hands. She is still on her knees as she looks up at him. He looks down at her and spreads his wings wide. She gasps in awe.

They shimmer, making the ornate patterns dance. He is stunning to her. His chapped lips have a gnash on one side. She is worried they will crack and bleed when he gives her a smile. His mouth is like a shark, and to her, it doesn't detract from his splendor. He is insect-looking, but she is more entranced now that he has some human features. He's impossibly fast, quickly using his stubs to lift his bowl. He drunk all the liquor and is making noises at her as he inches closer to the bars. Clicking sounds and something that sounds like bird chirps. His feelers are inches from her face. She wants to reach up and touch one when he hisses and disappears to his nest.

"What the fuck are you doing?" A voice questions from behind. She turns to see Hog staring at her with a mix of misery and envy. "He never did that for me." He whines. "He's amazing." Midge breaths.

Hog wouldn't leave her alone with him. He said she was being reckless, she's going to miss fingers one day, but she thinks it's more jealousy. "Do you want people calling you Hog? I only call you Hog because that's how we were introduced. You can tell me your name, and I'll call you that from now on." He's blushing at her. He shrugs and looks away. "At least I had a name when you were introduced; you were just shit mucker. It's better than Piggy. That was what they called me before. Do you want to know what the Mothman's name is?" "You know it? How?" She is looking at him with a thirst for a tasty secret. "I saw the receipt for him. It's in Jon's paperwork. It says Tomura Shigaraki.” "Wow, I wonder what it means. Tooooommmmmurrrra." They hear three sharp chirps from Shigaraki's cage. Hog smiles at her as they laugh.

"Be careful today. The animals are really riled up." Hog says. As they walk to the back, the train shifts, and Midge loses her footing. She is thrown into the bars of the Shigaraki's cage. Before she knows it, her face is engulfed in sable fur and the sweet smell of a warm forest with tinges of musk. Just as quickly, Hog yanked her out of his grip. Shigaraki hisses at Hog and retreats to his nest. He's holding Midge tight to his solid, steady frame. She is grateful until he starts sniffing at her. She moves to push herself away, and he hesitantly lets her go.

"Thanks," Midge mutters shyly. The animals are riled up. They attacked the cages. They growled and snarled at them. But not at Midge. They would get a whiff of her and cower in the far corner. "What the hell is up with them today?" Hog wondered aloud. They move on to their next cart when they hear Abe.

Abe is whacking the hippo in a blur of motion, he was screaming, and blood was spurting everywhere. Both midge and Hog grab his other arm and pull. Abe is crying all over Midge as she tries to stop his bleeding, and Hog runs to get help. It was a mess that was covered up and made quiet. Sally was beside herself. She might have to work now. Months later, she caught drunk Sally throwing rocks at Tomura's nest. Tomura is hissing and chittering at her. Sally was sobbing and insisting something had to pay for Abe's arm. Midge told her to stop and took her to the cart to sleep it off.

She isn't able to talk to Tomura as much because Hog was always around. She didn't want to hurt his feelings or have him tell the others the awful things she says about them. Hog may not be the prettiest of men, but he was the friendliest and most reliable. He's a good friend. Hog even started sneaking food from the mess for Tomura.

"He's never is as nice to me. Before you came on the train Midge, I hardly saw him, and then that one day. It was amazing. I wish I could see his wings spread. But I am just happy seeing him at all." Tomura is half out of his nest, watching Hog cautiously. "He hasn't done it since," Midge reassures him. "I think it's because I'm around." "Why are his hands bound like that?" "Because he has claws."

"So do the lions. Why are his hands like that? It just doesn't seem right." Midge says, putting half her sandwich in his bowl, shoving it towards Shigaraki. Tomura snatches the bowl with his gloved hands and darts back in his nest. When he's done, he threw the bowl at Hog. It bangs the bars and clatters on the floor. Hog smirks, shaking his head. "See, doesn't like me." Midge doesn't want to agree with him and get him discouraged, but it's true Tomura doesn't like him. She goes back to changing the subject.

"He clearly uses his hands. The monkeys are dangerous. We don't bind their hands. Did you have the cops talk to you at the last stop?" Hog shifts uncomfortably. He doesn't get a chance to answer. Dan is dragging a struggling Sally, Abe is screaming at Earl, and Earl is cowering and fumbling with the keys to the cage.

"What are you doing?" Midge screams as they throw Sally in the cage with Tomura. "You want to be a bitch in heat lets give you the real monster cock your beggin for!" Abe screams at a crying, pleading Sally. Midge holds Sally through the bars as Hog pulls her back when Tomura screeches and yanks Sally down. "And you!" Abe points to Earl. "You were like a brother to me!"

Midge is yelling no, as Tomura yanking and tearing at Sally. Hog is holding her back. Sally is trying to defend herself when Tomura bites off four fingers and swallows them whole. Dan is in front of Hog and Midge with a knife. Threatening them.

"You didn't see anything! What ya fools doing here anyhow!" "It's the cleanest cage. It's nice not to smell shit for a minute! Don't worry, we won't say a damn thing," Hog replies. Tomura has trouble attacking with bound hands but manages to rip one of Sally's legs off with a terrible wet snapping sound. Blood is gushing and splashing everywhere.

"Then enjoy the show," Dan says with a psychotic grin. Hog is holding a weeping Midge so tight her lungs have trouble getting enough air. She wants to run away, but they might kill her; all she can do is shut her eyes. The smell of iron in the air stung her nostrils, the taste of blood coats her mouth, and Sally's pitiful wet gurgles will haunt her forever.

Sally is trying to crawl away on her belly when Tomura pins her down, shoving his massive cock that has grown from his fluff in her. Wet flesh smacking sounds fill the room to hoots and hollers from the men. Tomura is staring at Midge while he violates poor Sally's bleeding corpse. Blood is frothing from Sally's mouth, her fingers twitching weakly as Tomura still watches Midge. The other three and Midge don't notice, but Hog can't peel his eyes away from the gory display. Tomura's beautiful wings are flapping and buzzing as he bites Sally's head off at the base of the neck. His eyes are never off Midge, who is sobbing and clinging to Hog. His knot is stuck in the girl. Her body is dangling from his groan as he lifts up and hisses at Hog. It is so macabre that the fun has ended for the other men. The other three are arguing about what to do about this gore. Hog pipes up.

"We're on a train filled with carnivores, use the long sticks and feed her to the crocodiles or lions. Then when someone asks, say you saw her drunk and heading that fucking way, keep the Mothman and Midge out of it." "Midge?" Abe looks to see midge is a hysterical mess. "Oh, Midge, I'm sorry you had to see that." In his pissed-off drunk state, this is the first time he notices them. "How are we going to keep her quiet?" Earl says. Eyes shifting like a scared owl pointing at Midge. "By giving her half her chores and picking up the slack for life. As for me, I'll help you clean up this mess." Hog says. Earl looks pale, Dan is cackling at the sight of torn flesh, and Abe nods in agreement. "Midge saved my life and is good with the animals. You'll do it, Earl and Dan. I know worse about you." Dan is grinning as he gets the long poles.

"Come on, Midge, you had a bad dream. You need some rest." Hog gently leads her away. Tomura is snarling and growling at Hog as he takes her to her bunk. He gives her some Laudanum and lets her sleep in.Hog tells her to forget what she saw, and she will get half the work and a raise. A raise meant she could save some money. All of it now goes straight to Mama and her siblings. But who knows if Mama didn't sell them too? Poor Sally, she knows Sally will haunt her forever. Still, Sally always encouraged her to the most profitable and easy way out. Midge feels it's a bad thing she's doing, but she doesn't want to leave the circus. Midge doesn't want to leave Tomura Shigaraki. She agrees and asks if Tomura is okay."

"He's fine. Do you want to go see him?" She nods yes. As she enters the cart with Tomura's cage, she notices it smells harsh of cleaning agents. But you can't tell anything happened here. She now doubts anyone would believe her if she had told on them. "Tomura? Are you okay?" He sees her and immediately darts to her. Chittering and chirping with excitement. His eyes dart to Hog, and he growls. He looks clean and bright white. It seems to Midge he's waving his arms, beckoning her to him. She loves him but will never trust him again. She will never get close to the cage. "See, he's fine. Looks like he missed you. Are you not mad or scared of him?

"Why would I be mad? Everyone keeps saying he's a predator. He didn't throw Sally in with him. He just did what his nature told him to do. I was reckless around him. I always should have been scared." "Can I ask why you like him so much?" "Because he's the only real magic I've seen in my entire life. There is nothing else like him in the world, and I get to look at that every day and hope. Why do you?" Hog shrugs. "Something similar, I suppose."

Months pass, and as wintertime comes around, the circus gets two months break. For them, that just means staying put in one spot. The men are nicer to her. By nicer, they have stopped hitting her and only give her a fair amount of chores that leave her more time with Tomura. She got Tomura sweet rolls and fruit cake that he seemed to like, and the best thing was a small compact mirror. He hid it instantly like a cute squirrel.When a drunk Hog stumbles in and sits next to her. Tomura retreats to his nest and eyes Hog suspiciously.

"No matter what I do, I can't get him to trust me." "Takes time." Midge comforts. Hog scoffs at her. "I've worked at this circus all my life, and I have been the one to exclusively take care of him for five years. Nothing. I would say it's because you're a girl, but he really didn't like Sally." Midge shifts uncomfortably at the mention of her name. "I'm sorry. Maybe it's because you're so pretty." "What?" She knows he's drunk, but he's saying things that make her cringe.

"You're really pretty. I know you try to hide it from the others. But they don't see those soulful doe eyes that sparkle as I do. I see it." "Hog, you're drunk. We should get you to bed." "You want to take me to bed?" Hog titters "No, I me.." She's cut off as Hog kisses her. He tastes like cheap mash and Laudanum. She pushes him away, and he looks hurt. Tomura is hissing and snarling, straining against the bars to get at Hog. Hog ignores him. "Oh, you don't want me. Because I'm ugly." "What no, because you're my only friend, and I don't want to lose you." He laughs. "Bullshit. If I were Tomura, you wouldn't turn me down. Look at him seething. He's become so protective of you. I wonder what he would give me for you. I bet you would like it. It could be a win for everyone. Come on, let's find out." He grabs her roughly by her arm and yanks her up to her feet. Hot pain bursts in her shoulder, and she yelps. Tomura is dripping saliva in rage.

"What? No! Hog no, don't do this!" She is screaming, struggling, and hitting him. He's like a tank with a vice grip on her. He's so strong she can't get out of his grasp. She calls for help, but she knows it's pointless by this time of night. Everyone is passed out on liquor and opium. Tomura's eyes are darting as he is torn about what to do. Hog is hurting her, but he's also about to give Tomura what he wants. Hog shows him the key, then presses Midge's face to the cage; she cries in terror.Tomura is licking her face zealously; he's keening and cooing. Hog pulls her away, and Tomura hisses at the loss. He's scratching himself, the metal on his leather caps rasing welts as he eyes Hog.

"You want her? I get to watch and then after you know what I want. Back up!" He shows the key again. Tomura gives him a sneer and retreats to the nest. Midge hasn't stopped her pleading with Hog. But it is useless as he opens the cage and throws her in. She hits the floor hard, but she bounces up instantly and turns for the door. Steel arms wrap around her waist, dragging her to his nest. Hog shuts the door and bangs on the cage to get Tomura's attention."Hey, I get to watch. If I can't fuck my girl, I can at least live vicariously. Don't ruin a good thing by breaking a simple rule." She sees Tomura giving Hog an evil stare, jaw clenched in rage, his chest heaving. He looks down at Midge, who recoils and whimpers in fear. His features soften. He keens and coos for her. His wings spread wide as he nuzzles and snuffles every part of her. She's so frightened she lays there quaking her eyes plead with Hog. Who is sitting with his hand shoved in his pants. Licking his lips at the sight of Tomura licking the crotch of her pants, biting at the fabric. Whimpering at her pussy." Midge, you have to take all your clothes off."

"No!"

"He only has his mouth to get to what he wants. Do you want to get bitten? Get torn up like Sally. Take them off, Midge.

"The memory of Sally is enough to get her to move. She's afraid, and with shaking hands, she moves to take off her clothes. Tomura backs off to let her. Frightened or not, she wants to survive. She wants to see if Tomura does know English. He seems to. If he does, he's not the mindless animal everyone claims he is. Tomura is on his knees, watching as every piece comes off, chittering encouragement.

"Oh, Midge, your so pretty," Hog breathes as the last piece comes off. Tomura is vibrating, his wings buzzing. He grabs her and spreads her legs. His mouth latches on her clit. She yelps, jerks, and holds his hair. He becomes more aggressive with shoving his tongue in her hole. She can feel his tongue writhe deep in her warm core. He pulls away and spits on her making her yelp again. Tomura is on top of her, licking her neck as the fat head of his vibrating dick finds her wet hole.

"Midge, spread yourself wider, baby. Relax, I can see him going in you. Relax and enjoy that vibrating pecker," Hog giggles.

"I'm not your baby," Midge whines. Hog wasn't lying. She can feel his entire body vibrating with his wings. His feelers are dancing over her, caressing and tickling her. Tomura has wrapped his arms around her, bracing as he slowly fucks his way into her. She's softly crying as her tight pussy stretches to take all of him. He's biting her shoulder, growling. Midges whimpers turn to moans. Each thrust gliding and sending shivers of pleasure through her. She nuzzles his soft fur, wrapping her legs around his waist. She can feel his delicate wings tickle and dust her legs.

"Fuck Midge, does it feel good? You look like your loving it. Does it feel good? Moan louder, let him know what you like." Hog is babbling helpful advice and encouragement the whole time. She is not listening to a word from Hog. She instead focuses on the Monster inside her. Tomura does feel good. He smells good. As she bit his earlobe and brought his mouth to hers, he tasted good too. He is panting and whining in her mouth. Her fingers are entangled in his hair and fur. He was fucking her gently, light pressing against her cervix, deep grinding of his cock in her. As her hips rock back into him, he doesn't hold back.

"Are you fucking him back, Midge? That's beautiful. So pretty being fucked. You are making my dick and balls ache. I hope you are this brave of a girl when he knots you. Are you ready to take that knot, Midge? I've seen it inflate to the size of a grapefruit."

"Shut up" She shouts at Hog. They are all panting and gasping in unison. She can feel the buzzing and flapping of his wings deep inside, making every part of her hot and begging for more.

"Oh yes! You feel so good, Tomura" She whimpers in his ear. He drives in her, his knot expanding and stretching her tightening walls. She's screaming as she spasms around his spurting length. Clawing at him as his wings stutter with every hot rope of cum he fucks deep in her. Hog has never been happier or more envious. His jizz is hot and wet in his lap. Tomura is rumbling in his chest as he sucks on Midges lower lip."

"When he goes soft, I'll get you out of there."

Chapter 2: It hurts

#moth shigaraki #mothman shigaraki #motharaki #tomura shiragaki #boku no hero academia tomura #tomura smut #tw knotting #tw violent death #fanfic #alcohol #drugs tw #kinktober 2021 #monster shigaraki #mothura

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losingitinjersey · 3 years

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Ever spend the last 12 days intending to blog every day and then never finding the time to do so? Yup, that’s where I’ve been at. Straight up in survival mode over here.

My MIL left on Monday and while my days since have been spent constantly putting out fires managing two crying children (often at the same time), I’m oh so flipping happy to be on my own again :) I understand that it’s important for family to come and visit and get to know their grandchildren. While I’m happy we all had that time together I’m glad to now have the time to figure out life as a family of four without an extra person in the house.

Kevin started a new rotation that has him gone six days a week from 4 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. (or later) so all he has time to do is come home and sleep. Poor guy :( I went from having both him and either my mom or MIL home all the time to now doing everything alone. It’s a lot but I’m surviving!

Here’s a rundown of some of the highlights from the last 12 days.

Aug passed her hearing test! Woooo!

Thanks to the MIL here, Kevin and I were able to go (BY OURSELVES) out to dinner, out to brunch, on several walks, and two grocery shopping dates! Such a dreeaaammm!

My MIL strongly dislikes/is scared of my cat, Saki. As such, on one of the days I was gone at appointments with Aug for six hours she didn’t let him downstairs. Due to this he pooped in my bedroom on the carpet :( To my MIL’s credit, she thought he had a litterbox upstairs, but no. That’s why I’m always letting him down and opening up the bathroom with the litterbox in it for him all the time. Pay attention, woman.

While we’re on the MIL rant, I’ll keep going with two more stories.

I’ve put Erp to sleep every night of her life except for when I was at the hospital delivering Aug. We have a bedtime routine that I look forward to every day and one that I find to be an intimate experience that only we share. One night that I’m putting her down, I come out to find the kitchen and dining room still a mess with Kevin and his mom sitting on the couch (she has Aug in her arms so she gets a pass). But I’m frustrated and start to clean. At one point I look up to ask if MIL can turn on the monitor (that I know was turned off before I went in to start bedtime) and I see she’s looking at it watching Erp. I ask her if that means she watched us while we were in there. She replied that she had. I reply, “Great.” Drop what I’m washing in the sink and run upstairs slamming the door shut behind me. I go to pump and cool off. I come downstairs 40 minutes later to tell her I overreacted but also that I felt she had invaded our privacy. She tells me, through tears, that it reminded her of her time with Kevin when he was a baby. I get it, but still. Kevin said had he known she was watching he would have told her to stop since I made it VERY clear to him early on in Erp’s life that I don’t like being watched on the monitor when I’m in there with her. I guess I should have told her about my preference in advance but I never thought I’d need to spell it out like that.

For the last week she was here, she had Chicago Med on the TV constantly, at relatively loud volume. Please note that we never ever ever have the TV on at our house unless we’re actively watching something, and if that happens it’s 99% of the time just me watching and I do it for an hour at night when everyone is asleep. If we need background noise, music is playing. She would just sit on the couch and watch her show talking about gunshots, premature birth, and whatever kind of medical drama while my kids are running around. I’m sorry, but I thought you were here to connect with your grandkids? So while she sat on the couch, I would engage and play with Erp for hours. Cool cool cool.

Please note that despite all this she’s a lovely woman and a great grandmother and mother and MIL. I came into her visit already dreading more company, and I’m sure I’m still surging with hormones from the pregnancy (right? or am I just this way always now?). All this to say that I was not begging her to stay and getting used to taking care of both kids on my own wasn’t that hard since I’d basically been doing it during her entire visit.

Okay, let’s take a breather and talk about other things.

Do you remember the 21st night of September? I DO because my 6 week old slept 12 straight hours! GLORIOUS.

After finishing listening to Billy Summers (loved it!) I decided to undertake Stephen King’s hefty novel, The Stand. I’d been scared to attempt it ever since I read 100 pages of it in 9th grade before deciding to pick it up again later. I guess 23 years later did the trick because I’m thoroughly enjoying it! I’ve learned that audiobooks are the only way I can get through any material lately. It makes me want to go out on walks and take drives so I can listen to MoAr! I’m already 10 hours into the 48 hour novel. Although, I gotta say, it certainly feels strange to read about a deadly pandemic (written in 1978) during this current pandemic.

After two months since I initially contacted the nearby school/daycare, I finally followed up to get Erp on a waitlist. There are six kids ahead of her. We took a tour on Friday and I want her to get in so so badly, hopefully before we move in June! It would be such a great place for her to socialize and learn!

If any of the above isn’t telling, my hormones are all over the place. I know this because my face has decided to rage in all the redness and acne. So fun!

Thanks to getting my house back, I’ve been able to establish a routine for us which includes going on stroller walks every day with the girls! We’ve already made it over 37 miles this month! Loving the outside time and knowing I’m working hard at my weight loss efforts.

Despite being on maternity leave, this past Friday I was invited to participate in an EA (virtual) offsite with my team at work! It was great to be able to see everyone again! At the end we participated in a cooking class where they mailed me a box of all the ingredients to cook a NY Strip Steak and Corn Succotash! Deeeelicious!

Given Erp’s increasing interest and ability at walking, I attempted a walk with her the other day, sans stroller! I wore Aug in a wrap on my chest and held Erp’s hand as we walked around the neighborhood. We walked a good 1/4 of a mile! Everything was fine until we made it back to our walkway and she refused to climb up the step to head back inside. Like, laid flat on the ground refusal. Since Aug was on me I couldn’t really just grab Erp and muscle her back inside. She wouldn’t listen to any request of mine to go inside so we had a power struggle of what felt like 15 minutes but I’m sure was closer to 5. She would try to crawl around my feet (into the bushes even to get around me), and any time I tried to lift her up she’d pull herself to the ground crying. Eventually I tucked Aug’s flopping head into the fabric of the wrap so I could lean down and grab my tantruming child and carry her inside. I want to be able to keep up with these excursions but not sure how to do so if she continues to rebel like this. Like, if she did this farther from home we’d be up a creek. Hopefully she’ll improve in time?

OKAY! Hopefully we can now get back to our regularly scheduled blogging so a massive update like this won’t be necessary again :) Thanks for taking time out of your day to catch up with me!

#please don't reblog #momblr #erp is 21 months old #aug is 6 weeks old #fitblr

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sergeantsporks · 3 years

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I Won’t Let Go (or Run Away)

Gen, General Audiences

Nari won’t fight Skrael alone. Douxie won’t let it happen.

Based on this post by @archies-litterbox . I have never watched Pacific Rim and don’t know what drift compatibility is, but the idea of Douxie co-piloting Nari’s titan Vibes With Me.

@alovesongshewrote

Ao3

“No. You have a titan.”

Nari’s eyes started to glow, and her titan rumbled up.

She looked so… ethereal. And terrifying. And… a little bit sad. A titan fighting for them, a titan fighting against them—either way, she was alone.

So when Claire opened the shadow portal for them to get off the titan, Douxie didn’t go through it.

“Hey, c’mon! I can’t keep this open, I’ll need all of my magic for the titan’s portal.”

Douxie shook his head. “I’m not going to leave her alone again. I promised I would protect her.”

“Douxie,” Nari murmured, “You cannot share this with me. It is my burden.”

Douxie took Nari’s hand once more. “No more running, Nari. This is my fight, too. You are my fight.”

The world lit up, and he was huge, he was powerful, he could crush forests with his steps and destroy anyone who got in his way. Douxie let out an exhilarated laugh, lifting one arm and watching it crack stone with the force it came down with. He was unstoppable, he had the power of raw, untamed magic at his disposal and he was a god!

Nari’s hand in his anchored him to himself, reminded him who he was. Douxie. Punk-Rocker. Customer Service Expert. A master wizard. Certainly not a god.

Claire’s shadow portal surrounded them, transferring them to a forest. Nari leaned forward, and Douxie followed her lead. The titan ran forward at full tilt towards Skrael.

What if…

Douxie used his magic to light his regular hand on fire.

The titan fist he swung towards Skrael’s titan was wreathed in blue flame.

Skrael howled, whirling around to face them. “What—Impossible! You cannot pilot a titan!”

“Not alone!” Douxie responded.

Nari’s hand squeezed his, and she brought their other fist careening towards Skrael. The ice titan dodged, but barely.

“You cannot contain such power,” the ice demigod taunted, “It will consume you, and spit you out!”

“I won’t let it!” Nari howled. Vines shot out, reaching towards Skrael. With a thought from Douxie, they glowed blue and sent off a sleeping spell that made Skrael’s titan sway on its feet. Another punch from Douxie’s fiery fist sent the ice titan reeling.

Maybe Skrael was right about this consuming him—the scale of magic it took for the whole titan hand to light was exhausting, and Douxie could feel himself starting to fail.

A blow from Skrael sent them skidding to the side, and Douxie’s hand slipped out of Nari’s, instantly severing his connection to the titan. He fell, tumbling off of the titan towards the distant ground.

Falling.

Again.

“Douxie!”

Nari lunged out of her titan’s control sphere, holding onto a vine with one hand and grasping Douxie’s hand with the other. A vine snaked out, lashing their wrists together.

“Don’t leave me,” Nari begged.

Douxie gave her hand a squeeze. “No more running,” he murmured weakly, “I’ve got this—I can do it.”

The vine in Nari’s other hand retracted back into the titan, pulling the two of them up. They resumed control just in time to scramble out of the way as Skrael charged towards them. They whirled around, and Douxie lit his hand on fire, ignoring the wave of dizziness that swept over him. They slammed the fiery fist into Skrael again, knocking him back into the mountain. Nari’s vines stretched out again, and again Douxie set off another sleeping spell. Almost—there—

And then, all at once, there was blinding, horrible pain in his side, a freezing, stabbing sensation that seemed to freeze the blood in Douxie’s veins. He and Nari screamed in unison, their voices blending together into a harmony of agony.

Through the blizzard of pain, Douxie saw Nari raise their hand and stab Skrael back.

And then they were falling away, still connected by the vine at their wrists.

And by their hands, clutching each other.

Xxx

Claire screamed as the titan fell, running forward, stumbling over rocks and roots, but making her way to the fallen titan. Skrael was gone, reduced to dust, and she staggered over the pilot’s area of the earth titan. Douxie and Nari were still there, a barely-conscious Nari cradling a passed-out Douxie in her lap, their hands still linked and a vine wrapped around their wrists. Ice was spreading up their bodies from their sides, and their breaths were visible, little clouds in what was otherwise warm air. Claire skidded down next to them, checking Douxie for a pulse. It was there, but barely—and it was getting slower.

“Nari, you have to let go!” Claire begged, “You have to let him go—he’s dying!”

Nari shivered violently. “D-dy—”

The vine slowly retracted, and she started to pull her hand out of his.

Douxie’s hand clenched harder, and his eyes opened just a fraction. “N-no m-more r-r-running,” he chattered.

Claire felt Jim’s hand on her shoulder, but she was more focused on the wizard in front of her. “Douxie, please—”

“Sh-sharing the curse,” he murmured, his eyes unfocused, glowing slightly. Pulses of blue magic were rippling over his skin and spreading to Nari, slowing the ice down, only for a second, but each pulse prevented the ice from killing him just a moment longer. “S-stronger to-together. Camelot.”

“I can’t get you there, Douxie, I’m spent, that titan portal took too much—please, Douxie, I can’t lose you!”

He reached out with one hand and brushed Claire’s face. “Magic i-is emo-emotion. Use—use your fear. It—it doesn’t control you—you c-cont-trol it.”

Claire gripped his hand. “Come on,” she howled at the air, “I’m not going to lose him! ONE! MORE! PORTAL!”

It flickered, small, unstable. Shadows pressed at the corners of Claire’s vision, whispering and tugging at her soul, and she pushed them away.

“YOU! OBEY! ME!” she screamed, and the portal opened, swallowing them up and dropping them on the floor of Arthur’s throne room.

Xxx

Douxie staggered to his feet, pulling Nari along with him. He stumbled to the table with the gems in it, overshooting and spilling to the floor.

“Hngh—no—"

Blackness pressed at the corners of his vision—he was using so much magic, had used too much to fight Skrael and now it was all he could do to keep Nari and himself alive—but he summoned his staff, using it to haul himself up. “The gems,” he gasped, “They—” He scrabbled for one, prying at it with his fingers, but he was shivering so hard he couldn’t get a good grip. “Claire! Grab that yellow one!”

Claire pulled out a pocket knife and pulled it out. Douxie grabbed it, hobbling to Merlin’s study.

“What’s going on?!” Claire demanded.

“It’s—the gem—different gems hold—power—”

“Like the triumvirate stones?”

“Yeah—this one—fire—” Douxie grabbed a hammer, and handed a chisel to Nari. “Right—right there.” She held the chisel in place, and he slammed the hammer down on the gem.

Too hard, too hard, Merlin’s voice chided in his head, to shape a gemstone, you must be gentle, but firm.

But he didn’t have time to be gentle—he hit the gemstone again, and a surge of power flooded out, filling his veins with fire. It joined his own magic, and he and Nari floated up.

“Nari, now!”

He didn’t know how he knew she could save them—he just knew, the titan bond still joining them. He just felt it, deep in his soul, that their magics combined could stop the spread of Skrael’s curse.

Nari was chanting something in a language he didn’t know—or maybe he just couldn’t figure it out because everything was getting fuzzy, and now Nari’s magic was the only thing keeping him up. Her magic pulled on his own, and the power of the gemstone. They were surrounded by a maelstrom of flowers and vines made of dancing blue flames.

And then they were collapsing to the floor. He still felt cold, but the deadly ice no longer crept through him.

Nari pressed her forehead to his. “Share the curse, share the burden,” she murmured, “Thank you, Douxie.” She got up. “Bellroc still remains, and they will remake the world in fire. My task is not finished yet.”

Douxie grasped for her hand. “No!” he protested weakly, “We barely managed to defeat Skrael—you can’t—”

She giggled, holding out a hand. A flower made of ice formed. “I survived. I have assumed Skrael’s powers. I think—I think it will be enough. Not as good as you and I, but… enough. You cannot accompany me this time, Douxie. Stay here and rest. You are not a demigod—even together, piloting the titan cost you too much power. You cannot fight in this shape.”

Her face kept flickering in and out of focus, but Douxie clutched her hand as tightly as he could. “You can’t go—I have to go with you!”

Nari held up their linked wrists. The vine dissolved into green and blue magic, making a glowing, connecting thread that faded out of sight. “You do not have to be close to be with me, Douxie. We are linked like the moon and the tides—even separated by the expanse of space, they still know each other, are still affected by each other. You will be with me. Now rest.”

She tapped his forehead with one finger, and the world went black.

Xxx

“Shhhhhh, Steve, be quieter, you’ll wake him up!”

“He’s been asleep for ages, just wake him up already!”

“We told you, piloting the titan took a lot out of him. Regular wizards just aren’t built for it, and besides, he used a lot of magic in the fight—let him sleep.”

Douxie yawned, stretching. “Morning,” he mumbled. Everything was sore—and his whole body felt weak—but fuzzbuckets, he hadn’t gotten this much rest in, well, ever.

He tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness washed over him, and he lay back down.

His friends all crowded around his bed. Jim was clutching Excalibur in his hands, and Douxie gestured to it. “Hey! You did it!”

Jim nodded, beaming. “We weren’t sure we could do it—I figured out what the ninth configuration was, but we needed you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah! And we were thinking ‘well, that’s it then, unless Claire teleports his unconscious body over here’ and then this—this glowing blue ball of light appeared, and it split into eight pieces and hit each of us, and then we… I don’t know, it just felt sort of… comforting? And hopeful? And then the eight of us were able to pull out Excalibur. I think… maybe you unconsciously sent out some magic?”

Claire gave him a warm smile. “You knew when we needed you. And you pulled through.”

A bolt of panic shot over Douxie, and he sat upright, ignoring the fatigue. “Nari! Where’s Nari?!”

“She’s fine,” Jim promised, “She was amazing—she fought Bellroc’s titan and got it down so we could face Bellroc, and then Toby used the anti-magic ray, and we… we finished the fight. Together.” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “Even with their titan out, Bellroc put up a heck of a fight—it took all of us to finally take them down.”

“And—where’s Toby?”

“He’s okay, too. A few broken bones—he got pinned under rubble from the titan. But Nari got out of her titan and to him in enough time to save him. Guess what?! She found Strickler, too! He fell from the explosion and went under the ice! It froze him and sent him into a kind of hibernation, but she pulled him out. She’s resting now. Two titan fights in a row plus healing Toby and finding Strickler really took it out of her.”

“She grew a whole garden in the courtyard,” Aja breathed, “It’s beautiful—I wonder if she could make one for me back on Akaridion 5?”

“But after she wakes up, she’s going to use her empathy magic to find coordinates for Archie,” Krel volunteered, “And then we’ll just wormhole in!”

“And… the Chronosphere?”

Blinky gave a short nod. “In Camelot’s vault. Saving it for a rainy day. We saw the ninth configuration in it, and Claire managed to see and prevent Bellroc from stabbing Jim, so I suppose it served its purpose. Meddling with the powers of time is a dangerous endeavor.

Douxie nodded. “I know that one for sure.”

The powers of time moved on their own, in one direction. Forward. They managed to open a wormhole to the Hong Kong trollmarket, so Archie and Charlemagne could come and go as they pleased. Mrs. Lake became Mrs. Strickler-Lake. Jim refused to change his name.

Douxie still felt stabbing icicles in the night sometimes, waking him up from the pain.

Winter always filled him with dread.

And he almost always felt cold.

But Nari would always come—every time he started feeling just a little too frozen, every time he jolted up in the night, she was there.

And other times, he could sense her feeling the same, and he would be there for her. They shared the same curse, the same chill in their bones.

But they also shared the same fire. The same determination.

And that was enough.

#watch me make this thing dissolve into a fix-it-fic real fast at the end there #toa #tales of arcadia #rott #nari #douxie #my writing #toa fanfiction

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tyler-reed-is-superman · 2 years

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my childhood friend living with my mom: I think your mom has toxoplasmosis. You know she can’t even smell the cat litterbox since she had COVID.

me, literally about to go to bed for my 2am work shift: Can you PLEASE elaborate that???

friend: It’s a weird parasite that makes rats attracted to cats, they don’t fear them.

me: IT CAN ALSO BE DEADLY CAN YOU PLEASE ELABORATE THE FACT THAT YOU THINK MY MOM HAS IT, ARE WE JUST TALKING PROXIMITY TO CATS HERE OR ACTUAL SYMPTOMS

#gIRL I am begging #TELL MY MOM NOT ME TF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #vlad quests

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kawaragi · 3 years

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hiiiiiii! can i ask what kind of pellets you feed your rabbits? and do you use timothy hay for them? and can i ask for some tips on how to take care of them? i have a rabbit too but it's my first time taking care of one, so i still kinda don't know what to do yet heheheh. it's fine if you don't want to answer though heheheheheh

hi! i’ll answer this ofc hehe im not an expert by any means but these r just precautions me and my sister take from videos about rabbits and even asking my friends for advice ^^ so sorry for the small text!

1) rn we use smallworld’s brand for pellets - it works perfectly fine and my rabbits really like them so it works the best for us !! oxbow is a good brand too and probably recommended by a lot of rabbit owners

2) we use timothy hay yes ! if ur rabbit is really young and small, use alfalfa. and please remember to always always ALWAYS keep your hay stocked and accessible to ur rabbit. this is an important part of their diet and if they dont get to eat hay for a long while, they’ll go into this stage called GI Stasis. its very very deadly for rabbits bc it affects their intestines and since rabbits dont have the ability to throw up or fart it out, their intestines is a good place to check if your bunny is okay.

3) consider getting them spayed / neutered ! i know that pet owners are 50/50 on the spaying / neutering topic, but i’d say it’s quite beneficial. rabbits are territorial and have a dominant-submissive relationship with other rabbits. when unspayed/unneutered rabbits become mature, they will mark the place that is unrecognizable to them as their territory. whether it’s chinning, pooping, even spraying pee everywhere to put their scent on said places. it’s super troublesome and they’ll also try and reproduce if they’re unspayed/neutered because their hormones are going absolutely crazy. if your rabbit is a female rabbit, PLEASE go get her spayed. female rabbits who are not spayed are prone to uterine tumours.

i think thats everything regarding health so let’s talk about bunnyproofing your home!

4) my rabbits are free roamed during the day and we put them back in their cages when we go to sleep and we let them back out the next day. my rabbits are neutered so we don’t really have to worry about their past behaviors of spraying pee everywhere. we blocked out every little space that my rabbits could get into bc theyre very curious little things and could possibly get themselves in danger.

5) keep your cords and cables OUT OF SIGHT!!!! rabbits are so so SOOOO notorious for destroying anything and everything that gets in their way and unfortunately almost every household has a fuckton of cords and cables and theyre all bound to be cut by rabbits. getting cable covers is a good idea but we never got one, my dad just replaces them BDSNBS

6) cardboard r good toys for rabbits and they can chew on them! just watch them and make sure they dont chew too much otherwise it’s possible for them to get intestinal blockages (which i thought song had but… he was jusg constipated and gassy…) sticks are also good!! my mom takes apple sticks from my grandma’s garden and dries them up before giving them to my rabbits :)

7) i live in a carpeted apartment and having rabbits is like … homicide for the carpet :/ if u live in the same type of apartment as me pls make sure ur rabbit doesnt rip up the carpet as often 😭

8) RABBITS CAN BE TRAINED TO USE LITTERBOXES!!!!!! we didnt really have to train my rabbits, they just started using the litterboxes on their own and u can do this by putting their poops in the box with some hay and bc of the scent, it’ll make them think that that is their territory :3 it’ll save u so much trouble and less poop to clean up. other places will advice u to get like chips for the pee to soak in but we just use a regular like pee pad for dogs bc its easy to change out

9) block out any small spaces that they could potentially get into. that includes spaces under the bed, under the couch, behind the tv where there are cords and cables, dressers - i don’t have this problem with song bc hes bigger in size and he knows he cant fit, but i have this problem with sang! hes much much smaller and he fits in small spaces and crawls in them easier and its just a pain to get him out so keep this in mind if ur rabbit is a menace and smaller in size ^

i think thats everything for bunnyproofing? so here r some other like things fhat we do for my rabbits

10) rabbits are just like cats and dogs, they settle for anything in terms of toys - i gave sang a small box and he plays with it and chews on it. its important to give them something to chew on if theyre not chewing hay bc rabbits’ teeth grow out suuuuper fast and u have to keep them chewing on something bc if u dont, and their teeth grow out, it could cause some growth problems!

11) u dont have to worry about bathing them. like at all. rabbits clean themselves way often than normal, they dont smell either! the only times that should be okay to bathe them is if they r really fucking dirty for example soaked in their own pee. do not AND I MEAN DO NOT regularly bathe them bc it sends them into a shock and could even cause death. we’ve had to do this to song and sang before they were neutered bc theyd be really dirty and soaked in pee and it’s just… gross to see them like that. (if u really really have to bathe them, use baby shampoo! its easier for their skin and their fur)

12) fun fact: rabbits LOVE bananas. they absolutely go fucking crazy over it - just dont give them too much fruits like strawberries and apples in one day bc they could get diabetes 😭 we let our rabbits eat as much as they want bc they stop when they dont want to eat anymore of the banana anyway. unless its song. song doesnt stop eating.

13) rabbits are actually very smart! u can put them in a routine with their meals like if u get them used to eatinf at around 11 am or earlier, they know the time of when they’ll be eating. for me tho song runs over to his bowl when he hears the rattling of the pellets in the scooper we have.

14) rabbits shed yes!! u can use a comb to get the shedding off but do not use a wired one. they have sensitive skin like fr fr sensitive skin and wired combs could cause abrasions on their skin which is never a good thing!!!

15) rabbits are, by nature, prey animals. they are naturally good at hiding their pain and sickness so its very very easy to miss them. u can easily tell if a rabbit isnt feeling well is if they are keeping to themselves, their ears are cold, they lose appetite, they dont move as much - something that’s not common to their usual behavior. so always keep an eye out for them!

i think thats everything i could think of ???? theyre high maintenance yeah just like any other animal but they are quite easy to take care of ! theyre also really really funny animals its adorable and i could fr watch them do their own thing every day.

they can be a lil bitch but tbh its so worth it, they are such cute critters. I JUST AGH I HOPE THIS HELPED U CAN ALWAYS SEND ME AN ASK ABT SOMETHINF AND I’LL GLADLY ANSWER IT FOR U!!!

#[ ☆ ] hello stranger #[ 🎐 ] — answered

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backtothestart02 · 4 years

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Hot to the Touch - 4/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Y’all do not even know the pain and suffering I went through trying to get tumblr to cooperate with me and open a text post. Oy. Anyway, here’s my next commission made by @jennlee44 AND the next fic in my fics-for-icons arrangement with @izzyllewis. I hope you both - and everyone else! - enjoys this update. I had a lot of fun with it. :)

*Many thanks to @valeriemperez for beta’ing.

...

Chapter 4 -

She didn’t understand. It had been a long time since she’d had sex, sure, and this time had been good – really good. But not so good that she couldn’t get a hold of herself. Or maybe it was just the thrill of public sex and the discomfort that came from fucking somewhere other than a bed.

She cleared her throat and looked over at him when she felt put together enough to put some snap back into her voice.

“That was…uh…”

“Good?” he asked, a smirk she could only think to call aggravatingly adorable on his lips.

Really good, she thought again but decided not to give him too much of a boost to his ego.

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly, nodding and screwing up any chance of keeping him humble.

His smile was wide and smug and gorgeous, and she felt her cheeks heat up as she rolled her eyes, dipping her head down so their gaze didn’t meet. Her heart was bursting, and she was starting to smile too, and she couldn’t help but feel this very familiar crush-like feeling blossoming inside of her.

Stop it. It was just good sex. That’s all.

Really good.

Was it possible to be starstruck by really good sex?

“So…” She licked her lips, hesitant to look him in the eyes again lest she melt. “I should go.”

He looked at her curiously.

“I have a class,” she explained, glad that he didn’t know that said class was about to be let out in roughly five minutes.

He nodded once, still smiling, though now with closed lips, no brilliant teeth shining back at her. He didn’t ask any questions, and he let her skirt by him so she could get to the end of the aisle.

She paused briefly, then turned to look at him, feeling as flustered as he must have felt yesterday morning.

“Thanks,” she said lamely, lingering a second longer than necessary in case he said anything else.

His amused laugh was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard in her life.

“Any time, Iris.”

She swallowed her gasp with the smallest gulp she could manage and fled the scene, her heart still thudding away in her ears as she made her way down the back stairway and out the alley door. She was too embarrassed to look back and see if he was standing by the window watching her the way she had done the day before.

At least she wasn’t running like he had been; now she was more like power walking. She was power walking with purpose, and her arms definitely weren’t flailing about.

It wasn’t until after she turned the corner that she realized she wasn’t carrying any books or a backpack or even a purse. She’d gone to the bookstore solely with the purpose of getting herself off, so Barry probably knew by now that her excuse of going to class was complete bullshit and just used to get away from him.

Not that she wanted to get away from him. God, she wanted anything but.

She had to be careful though. All she’d wanted was a one-night stand, and that was definitely what she got. There was no need to even see him again. At least not for anything but sex.

Anything but sex…

She bit her bottom lip, imagining a ‘next time’ with Barry. She wasn’t sure, but she could’ve sworn her panties were getting wet again.

“God dammit,” she muttered under her breath. How could he have this effect on her?

She needed to talk to Linda, and she needed to do it fast. She had to figure out what her next move would be, because right now all she wanted to do was run back to that bookstore, hope Barry was still there, and jump his bones again. She wanted to spend the whole day doing nothing but having sex with him. It would be pure ecstasy, and she would relish in it.

But what kind of impression would that leave him with?

That she wanted to be with him? That she wanted to date him?

That was absolutely not something she wanted to ever do. At least not right now.

No. Never.

She was not going to date ever again, and if she did, it wasn’t going to be with this nerd she’d spontaneously hooked up with.

But why not?

She couldn’t answer that, so instead she trudged onward, back to hers and Linda’s tiny apartment. She put the key in the lock and opened the door, shutting it quickly behind her.

“Lin!” she called out. “Linda!”

No sound greeted her. She frowned and pulled out her phone. She saw she’d missed a call from Linda when she was… Well, when she was otherwise occupied. Heat rose in her cheeks again.

She put the phone to her ear and listened to the message.

“Hey, Iris, so I thought it might be fun if we stayed in my parents’ place all weekend! No more parties, I promise. Just us. I’m sure my folks won’t mind. Let me know what you think. I’ll be back at the apartment around noon. See you then!”

Iris lowered the phone from her ear and checked the time. 10 a.m.

Linda had an early morning Saturday class too, but hers started an hour later than Iris’ at nine, so she had no reason to be suspicious. Yet.

She didn’t know why Linda was going to take two more hours to get back to their place when her class would be over at 10:30, but Iris supposed it didn’t matter. Maybe she was running errands, maybe she was relaxing in the park, maybe she was settling in at her parents’ place after assuming she’d convince Iris to go with her. Regardless, she wasn’t home, and Iris was alone.

She kicked off her shoes, moved from the room to the even smaller room at the end of the short hall and fell back on her bed.

She sighed loudly and closed her eyes.

“I had sex with Barry Allen.”

…

Barry had watched Iris “power walk” away from the bookstore from the window where they’d fucked.

He’d stayed there a while too, smiling to himself, reliving the feel of his dream girl inside his mind over and over, wondering how she knew his name too, because he definitely hadn’t told her. Not that it mattered how she knew. All that mattered was she knew, and she’d cried it out as he thrust up into her, and wow, that sex had been good. It’d been a while for him, but he couldn’t remember sex being that good before.

After a good half hour, he left the bookstore the same way Iris had and grabbed himself a coffee at the local coffee shop before heading back to his and Cisco’s apartment.

He could not stop smiling.

The sex had been great, but what really made him beam was how easy it had been to convince her. Just cut her off and kiss her? Who would’ve thought? Caitlin was definitely right in that all he needed to do was keep pursuing her. In the back of his mind, he did worry if Iris would keep her distance now that they’d had sex once, but he hoped not. He hoped he could win her over again. He wanted to see her, be with her. He still wanted more than just sex, even though he hardly knew her.

But he knew her name, and he knew what her body wanted, and he knew where her secret hideaway was, and for right now that was all he needed to know.

The cry of “Damn it!” was heard just as he put the key into the lock of his and Cisco’s apartment door. The voice was most definitely Cisco’s, and the bleating that immediately followed definitely belonged to his goat.

Barry couldn’t help but chuckle before turning the knob and stepping inside.

“So, are you going to name it?” he asked, beaming as the baby goat trotted across the room, toilet paper dragging under one hoof, and Cisco sitting on the couch looking about ready to pull his hair out.

Cisco lifted his head up slowly and glared at his roommate.

“You left early,” he accused, his voice low and gravelly.

Barry shrugged nonchalantly, nothing able to get him into a bad mood this morning.

“I had somewhere I had to be.”

Cisco started walking towards him, daggers in his eyes, so Barry held up his hands in surrender.

“It was Caitlin’s idea,” he insisted.

Cisco paused, grimacing as he stepped into a tiny pile of goat poop. He was shoeless and sockless and looked about to scream.

“Here, okay, let’s just-”

Cisco’s groan turned high-pitched.

“This stupid goat!”

The bleating turned cheerful and then quieted as the goat turned to go into Cisco’s room.

“Oh, no you don’t! You don’t get to poop in my room, you little…shit!”

“Cisco!” Barry went after him with some paper towels, but Cisco just limped around, trying to ignore the squish of his foot every time he walked until he made it to the doorway of his room.

Cisco was fuming, his hands braced on each side of the doorway. Barry had to slowly unclench his hands and turn him aside as his gaze turned deadly. He handed him the paper towels for his foot and went into his room, fetching the goat who bleated happily again.

“I’ll put him in my room. If he poops, he poops.”

Cisco scoffed, wiping his foot clean and then hobbling back into the kitchen to disinfect it with soap and water and a real towel. He shuddered as he tossed the paper towels away and threw the towel into the laundry basket.

“You must be in a real good mood to be fine with a goat pooping in your room,” he said sarcastically as he made his way to the couch again and took a seat.

“Nothing a little disinfectant can’t fix. We just have to potty train him is all. I’ll pick up a litterbox when I’m out later today.”

Cisco stared up at him in disbelief, a million questions running through his head, but only one blatant fact emerged.

“We’re not keeping it!”

Barry’s grin faltered slightly.

“You better find out who it belongs to, then,” he teased, coming to sit beside him after wiping up the floor and washing his hands.

“I don’t understand,” Cisco whined. “Why are you in such a good mood?”

Barry shrugged. “Can’t I be in a good mood every once in a while?”

“You wouldn’t even speak to me when I came home last night.”

“That’s because it was three in the morning, and I’d been sleeping for four hours already.”

“Nah, there was more to it. Something happened at the party, didn’t it? Something bad. Something that upset you.” Barry was silent for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shook his head, then smiled cheerfully again.

“It doesn’t matter now. Everything is right in the world.”

“Everything is not right,” Cisco said. “That goat is out to get me.”

Barry chuckled. “Well, everything is right in my world at least.”

“And why is tha-” The dots fused together in his mind. “No.”

“Yep.”

“You. You and-”

“Uh huh.”

“But last night…?”

Barry sighed, realizing he’d have to tell the whole story.

“Last night, she jumped me in a bedroom at the party and I ruined it by not wanting a one-night stand.”

“Dude.”

“I know, I know.” He waved him off. “But I called Caitlin to drive me home, and she told me that Iris was probably just playing hard to get, and I should just keep pursuing her.”

“Hmm.”

“Turns out she was right!” He grinned gleefully. “I went to the bookstore this morning and turned the tables on her. She gave in instantly.”

“So, you had sex.”

“Well, yeah!”

“And…are you going out?”

Barry’s smile slipped.

“Well…no. I mean, we didn’t discuss that. She just…she said she had to leave to go to a class…”

“Oh, Barry.”

“She said the sex was great though!” More or less.

“That only makes it a one-night stand.”

Now Barry frowned.

“You gave her what she wanted, Barry. She’s not going to want anything to do with you now.”

His brows furrowed.

“Why do you have to be so negative? You don’t know that for sure.”

He shrugged in a ��maybe I’m wrong’ way, but it didn’t make Barry feel any better.

“I’m going to take a nap,” Cisco said, heading for his room. “The goat’s doo-doo is on you.”

He closed the door behind him, and Barry sunk back into the couch, as his heart plummeted in his chest.

Had he really seen the last of Iris West?

…

At half-past one Iris decided Linda had to have gotten settled in at her parents’ place and headed over. It was a half hour walk, but she could use the additional time to try and sort her feelings out – as if she hadn’t already been doing that for the past two hours…

Regardless, the time was well spent, and when she knocked on the door to the mansion half an hour later and Linda appeared on the other side, she knew it was well worth the wait.

“I slept with Barry.”

Linda’s jaw dropped.

“Thanks for finding out his name at the party for me by the way,” she said, moving past her into the house. “It would’ve been awkward to cry out ‘book boy’ into his ear as he fucked me.”

“Well.” Linda shut the door and spun around. “You’ve had quite the morning.”

“Yeah…I skipped class, went to the bookstore, and…he showed up. Then, we-”

“I think I got it, Iris.” Linda grinned.

“I wanted to tell you right away, but you weren’t home. Then you weren’t at noon when you said you’d be, so I waited a little bit longer, and-”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Guess I caught up with stuff here. You good with staying here over the weekend? I called the folks. They’d love to have you staying here with me while they’re gone. In fact, they want us to stay to look over the house! Isn’t that great?”

“Fantastic,” she said on a sigh.

“Oh, what’s wrong, honey? You don’t want to stay?”

“No, it’s not that…” She shook her head. “It’ll be fun to stay here a few more days. I’d love to.”

“Then what?” She folded her arms.

“What do I do now?”

“What? With Barry?”

She nodded.

“Well, you got your one-night stand, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess…”

“And that’s all you wanted, right?”

She was silent.

“Right?”

“Right,” Iris said, after hesitating a bit too long. “Of course. I don’t need any entanglements right now. I need to take care of me, and that means not jumping into a relationship. I mean, that scares me. I don’t want it. I don’t want to risk anything. I need to protect myself before I go thinking there’s a guy out there that could actually-”

“Hey, hey.” Linda closed the distance between them and grabbed Iris’ shoulders. “The choice is yours. No one is forcing you to do anything. Okay?”

Iris nodded slowly.

“I’m just not ready.”

“Then don’t jump into anything.”

“Okay.” She forced a smile. “Thanks, Lin.”

“Any time,” she said, reminding Iris of Barry’s last words to her. A chill ran down her spine. “How about I put a movie on and we just relax for a whi-”

“Actually-”

Linda frowned. “Yeah?”

“Could you get me Barry’s number?”

Linda blanched.

“You got me his name. Why can’t you get me his number?”

“Iris. You just said-”

“Every girl needs a booty call, right?” she said, avoiding her friend’s gaze.

Linda laughed. “Sure.” She shook her head. “Why don’t you get the movie set up, and I’ll do some digging.”

Iris couldn’t be 100% certain, but she was fairly sure she heard Linda mutter something on the way to another room, something about how good the sex must’ve been for her to want him as a booty call.

She probably should’ve kept the information to herself, but she couldn’t help it. How was she going to see Barry again? Just wait in the bookstore and hope he showed up?

Because yeah, she’d decided this was not going to be a one-time thing. Today had been euphoric, heavenly even. She’d felt alive in Barry Allen’s arms, as rough as that fuck had been. She missed his arms around her, his lips on hers, his tongue swirling her nipple, his hard cock thrusting up into her core, his hot breath in her ear. She missed it all.

And why should she be deprived of really good sex just because she wasn’t ready for a relationship? Why couldn’t this be just one really epic fling before she was ready for the real thing? It didn’t even have to mean the real thing would end up being with Barry. If she made the rules clear, and he agreed, then…well, she deserved this. After everything Eddie put her through, she deserved to feel alive every day. Multiple times a day. Multiple times an hour sometimes.

Her heart leapt into her throat at the thought of it.

She wanted to see him again. She wanted him to want her. She wanted to see his eyes roving over her body, taking her apart piece by piece. She wanted him inside her, all day, all night. She wanted to forget her fear of heartbreak and just enjoy the heat of his flesh against hers.

The very thought made her shiver.

“Okay, I texted you,” Linda said, re-entering the room.

Iris felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and quickly took it out to put Barry into her contacts.

“But Iris.” She put her hand over Iris’ phone to draw her attention back to her. “Be careful with this, okay? You don’t want to get caught up into something you can’t get out of. Sex is exhilarating, but it shouldn’t become an addiction.”

“Lin-”

“And it shouldn’t be used as coping mechanism to deal with heartbreak.”

Iris sighed, slightly aggravated.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I promise,” she said sincerely, then threw all caution to the wind and excused herself to go to the bathroom…and text Barry Allen.

…

Late that night, after movies and dinner and painting nails and prank calls and gushing about the good ol’ days of high school gossip and homecoming after parties, Iris and Linda fell asleep on the couch in the huge living room in the center of the Park mansion.

Or at least, Linda did. Iris pretended to and then snuck out of the house where a cab was waiting for her. She had the driver let her off across the street from the bookstore, and then walked over to the back entrance in the alley, hoping her risqué suggestion wouldn’t be shot down at the last minute.

She needn’t have worried.

“You came,” she said, relieved when the tall shadow coming out of the alley was Barry and not some guy trying to kill or rob her.

“You asked me to,” he said easily.

She smiled brightly, then pulled a hair pin out of her pocket.

“C’mon.”

Once inside the rickety old door, Iris took Barry’s hand and led him up the stairwell in the dark. Moonlight shown through the windows on the second floor. It was deadly quiet, and the floor squeaked a little when they walked, but once they reached the center of the room and were in complete darkness again, Iris came to a stop, and so did Barry.

“You’re beautiful, Iris,” he said, smoothing some of her frizzed hair out of her face.

The compliment made her heart flutter and drop at the same time. It scared her and made her feel alive.

“Do you want me, Barry? Like you did this morning?”

His voice was rough when he answered.

“Yes.”

“I want you, too.”

“Iris.”

“This can be our spot, Barry. Every day…or a couple times a week…however often you want to do this.”

“Every day,” he said instantly, and her smile turned into a laugh.

“I missed you today,” she said, rising up on her tip toes to kiss him. “I missed your hands and your lips…” She pushed his jacket off his shoulders. “I missed your arms and your tongue.” She unbuttoned his shirt and spread her hands beneath his t-shirt. “I missed your breath in my ear and your eyes on my body.”

She met his eyes in the darkness.

“I missed you, too.” He gulped.

“But Barry?”

“Yeah?” he rasped.

“I’m not interested in a relationship. It’s just sex or nothing at all. That means no dates, no compliments – unless they’re sexual in nature, no being seen together. Hell, we have to keep us a secret just for good measure. Can you do that, Barry? Because if you can’t…”

He put a finger over her lips.

“I don’t like option two,” he said. “Anything is better than nothing at all.”

Happiness and heat exploded inside of her.

“I’m glad you think so.”

She dragged him down for a kiss, and he started to undress her. Moments later her clothes and his were piled into a heap, and Barry was lowering them down onto the soft carpet they’d stepped onto in the center of the room.

Iris sifted her fingers through his hair and drew her hands down his naked body. Her nailed traced the lines of his arms and face.

Feeling insecure in front of her perfection, Barry pinned Iris’ hands by her head, positioned himself at her core, using his knees to push her legs apart and leaned down to kiss her. Then he released her to slide on a condom and thrust into her soaking pussy.

She arched up and clung to him, digging her nails into his back as his teeth sucked on her neck. In and out he moved, his chest brushing her breasts and her mouth occupied, always occupied with his skin or his lips.

And so they moved in almost silence, exhilarated in the pleasure of their bodies winding around each other and writhing in the darkness, just shy of the moonlight seeping into the windows a few aisles away.

...

*Also posted on AO3 and FFnet.

#westallen #fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #hot to the touch #chapter 4 #fic commission #fics for icons #for jennlee44 #for izzyllewis #westallen fanfiction

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brownstonearmy · 4 years

Text

2020-05-01: “Legal” Litter Liberation

July 24 (Friday morning)

On Thursday evening, our team of heroes goes to bed in their respective houses. But the next morning sees each party member wake up in an unfamiliar location. Everyone is in a separate guest room filled with fancy furnishings. Though there are silk curtains on the walls, there are no windows.

Each room is furnished identically, with a comfortable canopy bed, a wardrobe filled with fine unisex robes in a variety of sizes, a dresser containing toiletries, a desk with chair, and an exquisitely crafted chamber pot underneath the bed. No one has any possessions except for what they slept in or kept under their pillow.

Lucky wakes up wearing one of Hilaria's shirts, with no spell focus or material components to speak of. Q, going by Fuego this morning, wears a sheer tunic atop some less-sheer underclothes, suspecting an excess of drink as the reason for waking up in a strange bed for the umpteenth time. Spleenifer's been sleeping in a burlap robe, and managed to show up with her holy symbol and holy book of tithes that she keeps under her pillow for reasons that are known only to her and Lathander. No one discusses what Norm was or wasn't wearing; it's probably for the best. Everyone loots their respective chambers to find something to wear, while Spleenifer goes one chamber looting further and inspects the chamber pot for potential tithes. Sadly, the chamber pots are all spotless.

The scent of breakfast cooking wafts through the air as the party emerges from their quarters. Everyone ambles down the tower steps until they find a woman waiting for them at the tower's base. The human woman introduces herself as Storm Elers, seneschal for the master's manor. Master Yula is quite eccentric, she explains, and indicates that he will soon join them at breakfast to discuss some business matters of great personal urgency. They walk through the house to the dining room, passing a library that contains still-beating hearts adorning the walls, a teleportation circle etched into the floor of another room, and a room whose floor is covered in a dozen fist-sized stone balls (one of which is moving erratically of its own volition).

Everyone takes a seat at the long table and attempts to make sense of the bewildering array of silverware in front of them. A breakfast feast (no, "breakfeast" is the one portmanteau we don't use in this house) of all types of cuisine is soon delivered to the table. Master Yula appears at the end of the table with wild, unblinking eyes. His disconcerting gaze watches everyone with great interest as they try to figure out which of the 30 forks to use for their meals. Much to Yula's chagrin, only Spleenifer grabs the wrong utensil. But Spleenifer is a woman of utility who nevertheless makes things work (even if it is with the squid de-veining spoon).

As everyone begins eating, Yula explains the situation. He has need of adventurers with a particular skill set that overlaps with sanitation. He asks them if they would assist him in building a litter box. The party is understandably wary of this offer, as litterbox construction does not usually require teleportation and a mission briefing. As a show of "good will" he offers the party an advance payment of 100 gold pieces to each character. The coins are contained in four velvet pouches that feel warm to the touch. Something stinks to Spleenifer, but it's not the coins.

Inside the bag are 100GP as promised, but also a large brass coin that Yula describes as a Coin of Obligation. Yula's hard-sell has just resulted in the characters accidentally accepting an infernal contract. But now that the contract has been sealed, Yula gleefully explains what must be done. The party is now bound by an agreement where they are independent contractors to Yula, and the only way to fulfill the contract is to construct a more impressive and expensive litterbox that Yula currently has. Of course, Yula is full of suggestions on how to accomplish this contract.

The most legal and time-consuming way to accomplish the task is to toil in the mines with the slaves in hopes of finding enough sand, gold, and gems to construct the litterbox. But in the name of good fun, Yula suggests a more "straightforward" method: rob the vault where Yula keeps many of his rare magic items and prevent the bank staff from reacquiring the items. The terms of Yula's banking agreement stipulate that he must be reimbursed in gold for the value of the items he lost. Yula gets to keep his magic items and more than enough gold for a new litterbox. It's a winning proposition all around (for everyone except the party members). Another option is just to walk out the front door of the mansion and suffocate in the void that surrounds Yula's mansion in this demiplane.

Spleenifer is tired of this fiendish presentation and brandishes her holy symbol in an attempt to make him flee. Yula dismissives Spleenifer's attempt and proceeds to monologue about infernal superiority, how squishy mortal bodies are, and related demeaning phrases. You know, standard fiendish monologue stuff. Spleenifer doesn't admit defeat, but she does sit back down at the table to plot about how to get out of this unfortunate contract.

During Yula's lengthy speech, Lucky and Norm start stealing silverware from the table. There's like, at least 50GP worth of cutlery at each place; no one's gonna miss a few dozen forks and knives, right? Norm mostly goes for the stabby utensils, but Lucky opts for a quantity-driven approach. She elevates the petty theft to an art form, turning Hilaria's shirt into a giant cutlery purse. Fuego gets in on the action, too, and starts stuffing their cutlery into the bedazzled robe they had chosen to wear to breakfast. Who knew sequins could be so loud?

Yula finishes his speech and escorts the party to view the corpse of his former litterbox. The litterbox itself is a 30-foot square with sides that are encrusted with gold and gems. It's like an ostentatious Japanese rock garden you can poop in. Unfortunately, part of the litterbox got chipped by a trowel during a routine cleaning. You can't even see the chip, but any imperfection means the litterbox is ruined and needs to be replaced. The current litterbox is probably valued at 8,000GP, but a suitable replacement would need to cost at least 30,000GP. Yula excuses himself and allows the party to explore his house until everyone makes a decision as which course of action they will take regarding their contracts.

After Yula leaves, the party is left with more questions than answers. How are they supposed to get materials? Can Yula be killed? Is he just a really big cat? If Anaxilas autographs the box, how much will the autograph artificially increase the value of the litterbox? Can they feasibly teleport back home and coerce Anaxilas to do the autograph? Time to explore the house and get some answers!

Talking to Storm is probably a good first step, but Lucky wants to gather some spell components just in case someone needs a good dose of magicking. She makes a detour through the kitchen to grab some honey. Gum arabic comes from a makeup kit in the dresser of her guest chamber in the tower, and an eyelash is provided by Fuego. With the material components secured, the party finds storm in her office drinking some stolen wine straight from the bottle.

"How was your visit with Yula today? We hope it was as magnificent as you had expected," she says unenthusiastically. Fuego realizes that Storm is just reflexively reciting a script to avoid a shock from her Coin of Obligation. Storm's been here for the past few years and has spent so much time drinking that she doesn't really remember what her original agreement was, but she knows that if she ever acts against her agreement she risks a potentially deadly shock. Storm's memory of the vault is less hazy, though. She mentions that the vault has to have two keys to open, one that belongs to Yula, and another that belongs to the bank president. There's a room that requires following a certain line on the floor to avoid setting off an alarm. The vault they will probably need to rob is Vault 4, and the whole bank is patrolled by guards. Some of the guards are living, but others are nimble clockwork contraptions.

With the information gathered from Storm, Lucky gets an idea. She discusses with the party the mundane equipment that they will need if they are to pull off this heist. Lucky writes this down in a list, and borrows Fuego's coin pouch, splits the seam and stashes her Coin of Obligation in the lining before dashing off to find Yula. She tries to corner Yula into unintentionally making another agreement, this time to nullify their existing agreement. Yula condescendingly concedes that Lucky's approach has merit and nullifies her Coin of Obligation.

Yula makes a big show about it, by summoning the entire household staff and making an announcement that Lucky's contract is hereby nullified. But the rest of the party is still bound by the original agreement. To add insult to injury, Yula amends the agreement by announcing that he is formally prohibiting the future instances of nullification with Lucky's method. That girl's got moxie, which is why she alone could wiggle out of the contract. But even though she's technically free, Yula is under no obligation to provide her with the means to go home, and thus it looks like everyone's best shot at freedom is still the bank heist.

Fuego performs some additional reconnaissance in Yula's litterbox room. What does Yula's poop look like? Presumably it looks like regular humanoid poop, but Fuego leaves a retaliatory present of their own in the litterbox. Fuego makes sure to cover it up, though, because they are a civilized rage-pooper.

Spleenifer comes in a few moments later to collect a tithe of opportunity, but she is not alone in the room this time. As Yula's infernal leavings sizzle in the pages of the holy book, a gnome named Bostvick Humplebumple is taking measurements of the quality of the sand. He's been "hired" in the same way the rest of the party is, though his task is finding sources of gypsum and volcanic sand to fill the litterbox. He also mentions that Yula seems to be having problems with his knees when using the litterbox, and if the party ever comes across a suitably ostentatious chair to help Yula conduct his box business, he might be more inclined to be more generous with his rewards. Bostvick knows where a good source of volcanic sand is, but you have to teleport to get there. He'd be happy to assist in getting there, especially if it helps him get released. Before he leaves, Bostvick warns Spleenifer that it's a risky proposition to come straight back to the mansion after the heist, because it could end badly for everyone involved if the bank people come looking here.

After the meeting with Bostvick, the party does some more reconnaissance with the staff to find out as much as they can about the structure of the bank building. They also come up with a secret backup plan, but we'll have to wait until later to find out what the plan is. Lucky informs Yula that they will attempt to ship themselves to the vault in a big box, and that they are nearly ready to go.

Once the box is prepared, the party seals themselves inside and awaits delivery to the vault. During the journey, Lucky does some fancy magic and casts Seeming to disguise Fuego as Yula, Spleenifer as Storm the seneschal, while Lucky and Norm will take on the disguise of two random servants. It's a bumpy journey down, but the party comes to a stop sometime later nestled in the vast vaults in the belly of the Goldleaf Wealth Services bank. There's a pile of 4,000 platinum coins on one side of the vault, and a trunk containing a meticulously cataloged collection of powerful items.

The adventure concludes for the evening as the party gazes upon the wealth of new tools they'll have at their disposal for the heist that's about to unfold. Stay tuned next time for more!

#adventure log #shits and giggles #Dungeons and Dragons #fishdavidson #heist #contract #coin #devil #mansion

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talix18 · 5 years

Text

November 5

(AM)

In the moments when I’m lonely and longing for a life partner who lives with me and cooks for me and prods me to do the many projects around the house that need doing, I imagine what it will be like to make room in my house for another person. I’ve lived a long time, I contain multitudes, and each of those multitudes requires at least one room’s décor dedicated to it. This décor includes lighting, wall art, and hella knickknacks, which I’m learning are perhaps privileges and not rights. I am a terrible housekeeper. I keep the kitchen and the bathroom mostly liveable at all times, I scoop litterboxes regularly, and I do clean up obvious messes that are clearly out of place (cat vomit, food splatter, errant toiletries). I even keep up mostly with sweeping as I like to pad around barefoot or in socks.

But when it comes to, say, vacuuming the cat hair off the couch or dusting, I am Not Good. I’ve also lived alone for so long that I’ve gotten in the horrible habit of embarking on a Project – hanging knickknack boxes; reconditioning my leather goods in the wake of The Mold Issue (it was penicillin-ish, not the black stuff, praise the baby Jesus) – and quitting part of the way through (usually because of time constraints and a commitment of some kind), leaving the evidence scattered in my wake. (Currently on my floor are a pile of shoes, boots, and purses and some leather cleaner. My knickknack boxes and said knickknacks are strewn across the dining room table and the hearth of my wood stove. My intentions are good. I know that I want to complete these projects and honor the energy I spent starting them. Sadly, motivation and energy are not available On Demand in my life, and significant time elapses between the beginning of the project and the cleaning up of the aftermath.

I have cats. Cats come with shed hair and the occasional DIY beach simulation beyond the litter box. Dust happens. It happens with alarming regularity and perseverance. It’s most pronounced on the shelves that don’t get touched very often (all the stuff that’s just for looking at; the bookshelves that are too rarely visited). As my media consumption leans further toward streaming, dust has enveloped the stereo, CD racks, and TV console. If anyone besides me saw the state to which I’ve allowed my home to be taken over by the assorted cobwebs (imagine Ms. Havisham’s tablescape), I would have the sense to be ashamed. I would also shrug, rail against the social expectations that single home-owning women are expected to meet, and usher my guest out the door to attend whatever function has brought them over in the first place.

At this point it is fair to ask why I don’t just hire a cleaning service. Well. Remember that whole lack of energy and motivation thing? There are conditions in which I am willing to live, but I would never ask someone to clean up after me until my home was in some sort of organized and settled initial state. It’s been at least two and a half years since I can honestly say this has been the case. (That’s not even including the dresser drawer that is almost certainly on the bedroom floor.

First, the cats moved in. I took in the cats when they were three and their owner was moving out of state. His situation involved temporary lodging with a friend and the cats weren’t welcome, so Jack and Lily (formerly Jill) came to live with me. When they came, I’d been a cat-free home for just about a year. Long enough to get rid of litterboxes and food bowls, but not long enough to pull up the wall-to-wall carpet the house came with. And I really wanted to get the carpet up, as my dearly departed Bo, who is really the reason I bought this house, was bulimic for most of his life. And his life was a long one, so he had his own crotchety habits, which included peeing in places that were not the litter box. I cleaned up behind him to the best of my ability, but my guess was that new cats would be able to tell he’d left parts of himself behind. (Besides the handful of whiskers that I collected when they fell out. Did I mention I’m a witch?)

Since the cat acquisition was, on my timeline, relatively rushed, and my bookshelves and couch are heavy, I made the executive decision to cut what carpet I could get to away and go back for the remnants later. The cats are now six, this is officially their Gotcha month, and three years later, we’re all still living with those remnants and the exposed paint splattered plywood floor revealed by removing the carpet. (We’ve also learned a hard lesson about how much insulation that carpet provided in the winters since its removal.)

I had every intention of putting down new flooring, but that requires money. Which I had more of before The Mold Incident.

The Mold Incident announced itself most obviously on a leather duffel bag I brought home from India (21 inches long for $45 US and I had acquired more than my suitcase could hold) and a leather backpack I got in Italy (25 years ago). A person other than myself would have assessed and remediated the situation in a timely fashion, I imagine. I know people exist who don’t have anxiety about phone calls and who get things done rather than letting them pile up, and I wish one of them lived in my house. (Future significant other, I’m looking at [for] you.) I, on the other hand, let the situation continue to worsen until it was obvious that the problem was not going away, no matter how hard I ignored it.

One mold inspection later, I was assured that the mold was of the friendly green-ish antibiotic kind and not the deadly black kind, and assured that the problem was simply one of humidity. Encapsulating my crawl space and installing drainage and a sump pump would keep the mold from coming back. (Remember those two thousand-year floods that destroyed historic Ellicott City twice in three years? I live up the hill from historic Ellicott City and my town also flooded in that second storm. I knew that water was sitting in my crawl space when I saw a wet spot on my bedroom floor.)

Cleaning the mold that was already in the house would cost, I was told, somewhere around $5K. Or I could do it myself, using a one-to-one combination of white vinegar and blue Dawn. All I had to do was wipe down all of the walls, ceilings, furniture, and exposed surface. And launder every article of clothing in my closet and coat rack. A friend lent me a garment rack that lived in my dining room as I took everything out of the closet and put back the mold-free stuff, culling for things that could go to donation bags because my closet was Way Too Full.

I finally gave back the garment rack, but the pile of shoes and bags remains. And the cleaning every exposed surface fizzled out (though the bucket, rags, and ingredients remain at the ready). Encapsulating the crawl space required getting in there and cleaning everything out (the pile of mildewed insulation was…something), which required pulling up part of the floor in the spare room. (Where my contractor saw the places in the floor likely to cave in and installed three new joists to prevent that. He also replaced the part of the wall in the closet that was secretly a hole hidden under siding and, while he was at it, finished the siding on the house that was begun when he built me a new utility room.)

Are you tracking the costs that are adding up? Clearing the crawl space, installing the joists, hanging the siding, and finally the encapsulation itself. Altogether, I basically bought a new economy car and shoved it under my house. The only part of it I can see is the siding, and that’s not even the color I really wanted (because the color I wanted was “premium”; for the sake of all you hold holy get the big things the way you really want them if you possibly can [that should probably go for the small things too]). And my floors are still paint splattered plywood.

(PM)

The hanging of the siding knocked lots of pictures and knickknacks from the walls, which led to the removal of a shelf that held the knickknacks, which revealed paint that needs to be touched up. Well, there’s no point in doing the floors until the walls are painted. Okay, but there’s a fist-sized hole in the electrical panel in the spare room that needs to be patched first. Which I can finally get to now that the HVAC is installed. Did I mention the new HVAC system? Maybe it was a new midline car, one third of which is in the attic.

Where was I?

I’m learning, as I contemplate all of the things I have to move and decide whether to keep and clean, that ownership is one thing, but maintenance of stuff is a different issue. Maybe this is a thing other people learn when they are much younger. Addict. Depressed. Brain issues. Bear with me. I understand that cars involve maintenance costs; so do pets and children. And houses in general require upkeep that isn’t associated with other living situations. I knew relatively early on that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the costs of having a kid – even if I could make it work financially, there are no days off in bed when you’re a parent. I knew I’d made the right decision when a friend told me that for him, parenting made the highs higher and the lows lower. I can’t afford any lower lows.

So I don’t have kids, because on my own, I can’t afford them. I have a 15-year-old car that’s paid for, but also requires the occasional costly repair. It’s easier for me to coax occasional lump sums than a new monthly payment out of my budget, so I hold on to the car and maintain it to the best of my ability. I have a lot of books, which are pretty self-sufficient once they’re shelved, and theoretically it’s easy to wipe the dust from a bookshelf, unless you are a person who has so much stuff some of it gets propped up in front of the books. See if you can guess if I am that kind of person. (Spoiler: I am.)

#f**k fifty #nanowrimo

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