#deadliestnightshade

[bi-swan-trash]

Weight

This one is for @deadliestnightshade for femslash February!

Requests are open until the 28th. You can find what I prefer to write about here.

Leena didn’t know how it all started. On one cold Tuesday she found Claudia in her room, sitting on her bed, crying. She hadn’t meant to intrude, but Claudia had a tendency to forget to fold her laundry from the dryer so Leena decided— just this once— to do it for her and put it on her bed. She thought Claudia was out on the ping the team had been engrossed with all week.

“I’m so sorry,” Leena apologized.

Claudia wiped her face with the heels of her hands and sleeves of her shirt. “It’s fine.”

Leena had every intention of leaving Claudia to her private thoughts, but something held her back.

Claudia hadn’t had anyone to lean on since Josh disappeared. Even now, she was older and everyone assumed she could handle herself. Leena didn’t want to be another person who didn’t reach out.

“Claudia, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Like I said, I’m fine.”

Leena stood there a moment longer than Claudia anticipated and that’s when she broke.

“It’s just the anniversary of Claire and my parents’ death. It’s kinda getting to me this year,” Claudia told her.

Leena put down the laundry basket at the head of Claudia’s bed, as she sat down next to her at the foot.

“It’s okay to still grieve for them,” Leena said, gently rubbing Claudia’s back.

“It’s not just that, ya know? It’s everything after that,” Claudia admitted. “This day comes around and I think about everything that happened because they weren’t around. Because my parents weren’t around when Josh did his experiment I was put in the system and then the psych ward. Because Claire wasn’t around I had to figure out the woman-stuff on my own. There are so many family things we missed out on.”

“You keep a lot of this inside,” Leena said. “Did you ever talk to anyone about it after it happened? When Josh was still around?”

Claudia shook her head. “Josh tried to talk to me and he tried to be a good older brother and take me to see someone. But he was in school and there was only so much he could do. I was pretty stubborn as a child.”

“As a child?” Leena teased, bumping Claudia’s shoulder with her own.

“Hey, I’m strong-willed now,” Claudia shot back.

There was a comfortable silence for a moment.

“Where are the others?” Leena asked.

“Finishing up with some paperwork at the Warehouse. I uh… I kinda just ducked out and said I’d do it later,” Claudia admitted sheepishly.

Leena shrugged. “If Artie tries to scold you, I’ll handle it.”

Claudia smiled. “Thanks.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Leena told her. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Claudia cleared her throat awkwardly. “Uh… I mean… no. No, that’s okay.”

“Claudia,” Leena raised an eyebrow at her.

“It’s weird. I don’t wanna ask,” Claudia said, running a hand through her hair.

“If it’ll help, I want you to ask,” Leena insisted. “If I’m not comfortable with it, I’ll say so. Deal?”

Claudia nodded. “I just… something that always helped me was weight. I’d, uh, I’d find something to put on top of me. To ground me, ya know? And…”

“Do you want me to stay here and lay on the bed with you?” Leena asked. “I’m not adverse to cuddling, you know. Physical touch from friends is actually very important for our health.”

“Would you?” Claudia asked hesitantly.

Leena nodded.

The two got settled, Leena’s arm protectively over Claudia’s middle and Claudia’s head resting against Leena’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” Claudia said quietly after a few minutes of silence.

“Anytime.”

***

This rare occurrence turned into something the two of them just… did. Claudia would be laying on the couch, reading a book— or at least trying to, since Myka had suggested it. It was good, Claudia was just constantly on the go— and Leena would pass by. Almost automatically, Claudia would move her arms out of the way of her lap and Leena would sit in it. Maybe inquire about the book she was reading, or maybe just sit there quietly and read along silently with her.

By that Christmas it was such a common thing that Leena bought Claudia a weighted blanket.

“Oh,” was all Claudia had to say when she unwrapped it. It definitely wasn’t the reaction Leena had been hoping for. She could tell something was off, but it wasn’t about the gift itself.

Claudia tried to hide her initial reaction and thank Leena, but it did not go unnoticed by the rest of the group.

After dinner, Claudia claimed that she was all festive-d out and needed to go to bed.

Myka threw Leena a worried glance as everyone watched Claudia go.

“Is she okay?” Pete asked. “I was for sure that’d be a hit when you told me about it.”

“It’s about something else, isn’t it?” Myka asked.

Leena looked over at Myka who was staring right at her. The woman was very perceptive at times.

“I’ll go talk to her,” Leena said, getting up from her spot on the couch.

When she initially knocked on the door there was no answer, but when Claudia realized Leena wasn’t going to go away she allowed the other woman inside of her room.

“Didn’t mean to ditch you, we’ve just had a long week,” Claudia lied. Not about the long week, of course— Leena knew that was true— but something else was bothering the young agent.

“Claudia, what’s wrong?” Leena asked bluntly. “Is there something wrong with the gift?”

Claudia’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. “No! What? No! I love it! It’s… it’s very thoughtful.”

She sat down on her bed and Leena followed suit.

“Something’s bothering you,” Leena said quietly.

Claudia picked up her new blanket and fiddled with it, keeping her hands occupied while she thought.

“What does this blanket mean?” Claudia asked.

“What?”

“Are you giving me this blanket to…”

It was at that moment that Leena understood. She put a hand over Claudia’s, stilling them.

“Claudia, I’m not trying to replace me with a blanket. I like being there for you. It’s nice to have someone I’m close to. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Leena told her.

Claudia let out a sigh of relief. “Sorry to, uh, freak out on you like that.”

“It’s okay. I should’ve been more clear. With everything that’s happened in your life I understand why your mind went to the worst scenario.”

“I just don’t wanna lose you,” Claudia told her.

Leena knit her eyebrows in with worry. “Hey, you won’t.”

As if instinct took over, Leena reached out and tucked Claudia’s hair behind her left ear.

Claudia’s breath caught in her throat.

Leena pulled her hand away quickly. “Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

Claudia took a deep breath before looking right at Leena. “I have something to say and I’m just going to say it.”

“Go ahead,” Leena said.

“I want to kiss you.”

Leena was a bit shocked at how straightforward Claudia said it, but she knew that’s exactly what she wanted to happen.

“So what are you waiting for, then?” Leena asked.

Claudia grinned before leaning in to kiss her softly.

“My new blanket can’t do that,” Claudia remarked.

Leena laughed before pulling Claudia in for another kiss.

[ephemeralwave-s]

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Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[scented-books]

Hiya! So I've done goofed and treated your page like it was my dash! Queued and re-blogged to my wee heart's content! So apologies and also a shoutout cause I love what I you're doing here! 💜💜

I’m so glad you enjoyed my content enough to do this 💚 I hope you have a wonderful day!

[deadliestnightshade]

I'm sorry tumblr, but right now I'm terrified I'm scared and broken and I don't know what comes next or what to do I'm so afraid of what is going to happen, and I don't know what to do I can't talk to the parents cause it'd kill them to know And right now I don't really have anyone else So I'm writing a god damn text post online I need help; and need some support and I'm losing my mind I want to call my gran but she's not here anymore, she's gone Anyone I was close to is farther away than I know how to reach and I'm terrified I've been picked up and thrown back down so many times over the last few months, that's I don't know which is which anymore And I'm so fucking scared I want to scream and shout and break something, but none of the stuff here is my own I want to run till I feel better but it's not a safe place, and it's late and no one would know where to look for me I don't want next week to come, I want to wake up and it be last year, before I lost my gran, and before I met him I'm not looking for a pity party, I jut need somewhere to put what's in my head, and if it helps someone, to know that it's being scared

[fearofa-blank-planet]

I'm really gay. Also I love imaginecraig.tumblr.com more than I love Ruth.

[lindseyquitl0llygagging-blog]

Happy almost Christmas :)

Happy Christmas!

[deadliestnightshade]

I think my dash is trying to tell me something XD

[deadliestnightshade]

who do you think is the most beautiful female celeb?

Hey!That’s a difficult one, it changes every so often, aha!Right now I’d go with..Allison Scagliotti, Ruby Rose and probably Halsey XDThanks for ask, don’t be a stranger, I love your blog!

[deadliestnightshade]

I love patterned ordered posts, but I never seem to get hem right

[deadliestnightshade]

3 things that make me worry:

-We need to talk -Can I ask you something -Don't worry

[deadliestnightshade]

Here's the thing, see this girl right here? She's fucking amazing. She's smart and funny and cute as hell. And the best part? She likes me. She's willing to spend time with me, and sees me in a way no one ever has before. With her in not invisible, like I have been before. I love her, and I need to tell her that more. @amehrodgersxo

[deadliestnightshade]

This had me in kinks laughing, it's so cute and silly!

[deadliestnightshade]

Dearest Anons, see attached. Can we be chill now?

[deadliestnightshade]

I clearly don't check my asks very often, I had six, sorry guys! I'll check more often I promise!

[deadliestnightshade]

Ruth, Ruth! Why do you never post on tumblr? You just reblog!

Well, that's like five consecutive posts.

Also I don't have many things to say

Ideas and suggestions are welcome!

[deadliestnightshade]

Considering a URL change, any suggestions?