#dead boy detectives bodyswap

[perseidlion]

I’ve been having great fun with this Dead Boy Detectives bodyswap fic. It’s currently on chapter 6, updating a few times a week with chapters between 2700-4000 words. 

Summary:

Edwin and Charles are granted a 'Hall Pass' from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others' bodies - with the others' tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they're human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

--- As this is a bodyswap fic, all the pairings aren't straightforward. There will also be more of some pairings than others. I'm also ignoring dubious consent that would happen if a bodyswap were real. So if that is a trigger, beware! I want to have fun with this concept without worrying about deeper implications. It's labeled crackfic for a reason!

---

Chapter 1

“I want it to be made exceptionally clear that a Hall Pass is very much a privilege that can be revoked at any time. You boys are very fortunate that we had all the needed information on file to process your application. There are very few ghosts in the employ of Lost and Found, and it usually takes considerably longer for a request of this nature to be approved. Count yourself fortunate, and I trust you won’t abuse the privilege and trust that has been placed in you?”

The Night Nurse stood in front of Edwin and Charles, looking neat as a pin with two golden tickets in her hand.

A ‘Hall Pass’ was a special magical permit that would allow a ghost to be re-embodied for a set period at a time. Edwin had found mention of it when studiously reading the Lost and Found employee handbook cover-to-cover.

Charles had never been so glad of Edwin’s bookish and thorough nature. It was likely they would have never discovered the existence of Hall Passes, let alone how to apply for them if he hadn’t read the handbook.

That was why the Night Nurse looked sour, but not as sour as she normally was when dealing with them. In fact, she had a little twinkle in her eye, as if she was secretly impressed by Edwin’s attention to detail.

“No, mum. We appreciate the trust,” said Charles as he stepped forward to take the tickets.

“Ah ah ah…” said the Night Nurse as she stepped backward and pulled the tickets toward her. “First, some ground rules.”

Charles sighed.

Edwin nudged him and stood up straighter, hands clasped in front of him. “Of course.”

The Night Nurse lifted her chin and eyed them both. “First, the embodiment will last approximately one week. I say approximately because magic of this nature is not precise. It might be as little as five days, to as long as ten. Second, if you die while embodied, your special status as employees of Lost and Found will be reevaluated and you may lose your permission to stay on Earth in ghostly form. A second death changes your status and categorization and you will essentially be starting from scratch.”

Charles glanced at Edwin. They exchanged a look of worry, but Charles shrugged it off. “Can’t be that hard to not get got again for a week, ay?”

“It certainly shouldn’t be,” said the Night Nurst testily. “Although this is complicated by the fact that you must still attend to your duties as envoys of Lost and Found while embodied. What you should have done is request a leave of absence for the duration of the Hall Pass. But it’s too late for that as you would have had to file the request several weeks ago. We will not tolerate this interfering with your work.”

“Bollocks,” Charles muttered under his breath.

Edwin leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry. I anticipated that. Unless a new client comes in, we should only have to deal with paperwork.”

“I’m not finished,” snapped the Night Nurse. “You may, at any time, voluntarily return to spectral form. But doing so will nullify the Hall Pass. For one to be nullified, the other must as well - so you must be in agreement. To nullify the pass, tear it in half.” She mimed tearing it.  

“And finally…” she looked down at the passes and tapped them against her hand. “Under no circumstances may you tamper with the magic in these passes. Doing so is potentially very dangerous. If you are discovered to have tampered with them in any way, you will be outlawed from ever applying for a Hall Pass or other such magical perks again, and it may result in your dismissal from Lost and Found, and thus the removal of our protection. Am I understood, boys?”

“Yes, we understand,” said Edwin. He stepped forward and held his hand out.

The Night Nurse eyed them both suspiciously, then grudgingly handed over the two golden passes. “I’ll be checking in periodically.” And then, after relinquishing the passes, she turned on her heel, summoned a door, and stepped through.

—

“Sooo, we’re definitely messing with these tickets before we use them, yeah?” asked Charles as he perched on the edge of the desk where Edwin was examining the passes under a magnifier.

“Of course,” said Edwin. “It would be foolish to pass up the chance to understand this sort of magic. But I only intend to look.”

Charles leaned a little closer. “Do you think you could replicate it?”

Edwin stiffened at the closeness. He swallowed and looked up at his friend. “Potentially.” He was not as enthused as Charles about re-embodiment. He’d felt for decades in Hell. Granted, it was mostly pain, but it made him appreciate the numbness of a ghost’s existence. But he knew how much a chance to live again would mean to Charles, so he’d gone along with it.

“It’d be brills to be able to swap back and forth. Solid and human when we need to be, ghostly when that bit works,” Charles was full of excitement. He walked away from the desk, then spun on the spot and beamed at Edwin.

Edwin smiled a little and ducked his head. “Yes, well, that would be a rather big leap. So you’d best be sure to enjoy this bit of embodiment. From what I read of the paperwork, these passes are only granted about once a decade or so.”

Charles walked back over to Edwin and clapped him on the shoulder. “I believe in you, mate. But don’t take too long examining those things. I’m looking forward to being able to feel.”

Edwin spun another magnifier around to get a closer look at the ticket. Their names were printed on them in embossed letters, along with a copy of the terms the Night Nurse had outlined. The end of the pass was perforated with the instructions 'DETACH HERE TO ACTIVATE.’ There were also instructions to tear the ticket in half to return to ghostly form prematurely.

Edwin scrunched his nose up and then flipped a special glass around. The device allowed him to see the flow of magic. “Fascinating,” he murmured.

“What?” asked Charles.

“The magic is woven into the fibres of the paper. This is all exceptionally complicated and balanced.” Edwin picked up a magical probe and very gently swept it over both tickets.

The effect of that bit of magical interaction was immediate. There was a high-pitched whine and a puff of golden smoke. Edwin fell backwards and hit the floor. He lay there shocked.

“What the bloody hell! What happened?” asked Charles. He moved to help Edwin up.

Edwin scrambled to his feet and picked up the tickets. “I’m not sure. Anti-tampering measure, perhaps? The tickets seem intact.”

“That’s a relief. You know…maaaybe we shouldn’t mess with them, like the Night Nurse said?” Charles held out his hand for his pass.

Edwin frowned. “Perhaps you’re right. There’s time for me to do my own research in any case, now that we know this is possible.” He looked down at the tickets and was momentarily confused. He was sure the one with his name was on the right, and the one with Charles��� name was on the left. But the opposite was true. He stared at them both for a moment, brow furrowed.

“Something the matter?” asked Charles.

“No, no,” said Edwin with a distracted note to his tone. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Here you are.” He handed over the ticket with Charles’ name on it.

What he missed was the name flickered back to his own moments after he passed it to Charles.

“Shall we, then?” asked Edwin, who hadn’t looked at his own ticket again.

“Yeah! It’s going to be great. Really. We can eat! Sleep! All of that,” said Charles, his smile brilliant and excited.

“Yes,” Edwin replied with less certainty. “It will definitely be an adventure.”

Charles held up his pass and grabbed the end. “On three?”

Edwin nodded.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

Edwin tore the end of his pass at the same moment as Charles. He only realized after the last perforation detached that the name on the ticket was Charles Rowland, not Edwin Payne. “Oh, fuuu—.”

The Night Nurse had said nothing about the act of embodying ghosts being destructive. Edwin imagined it would be a gentle process where he suddenly found himself human again. But his unintentional tampering with the Hall Pass had disrupted the magic - as had the fact that he’d torn the wrong ticket.

Edwin and Charles were thrown away from each other in a puff of golden smoke, bouncing off the walls on opposite sides of the office.

The moment Edwin connected with the wall, he knew he had a body. It hurt. His teeth rattled in his head and he felt a heavy concussive force in his chest as he hit the floor. The explosion had also shattered furniture and there were small splinters of wood and shallow lacerations in his hand.

No, not his hand. That was not his hand. He recognized the deep red shirt and darker skin and knew immediately that it belonged to Charles. Edwin scrambled to his feet and weaved as the force of the blast made his head spin. “Charles,” he croaked. “Are you all right?”

That was not the right voice.

There was a rough cough and debris from the desk was pushed aside. “I’m all right, I’m all right. Ow. Forgot about pain. Wait…” Charles rolled over and stood up. He stared at his hands.

As soon as he did, Edwin knew what he feared was true was actually the case. The two stood there staring at one another, as perfect replicas - but in reverse.

“Ohhhh shit shit shit…” Charles stumbled forward, tripping over his own feet. He was wearing a copy of Edwin’s spectral outfit of a bowtie, jacket, short pants and stockings. He rubbed his face. “I’m you, aren’t I? And you’re…” he pointed.

Edwin looked down at himself and tugged the edge of Charles’ jacket. “It…it seems so.”

“Even the accents. This is bloody weird. What happened?” Charles stepped forward.

Edwin stared at Charles in his body. Being a ghost without access to mirrors meant he was not especially familiar with his own face. Seeing himself standing there was incredibly surreal. “I suspect that the magic was even more delicate than the Night Nurse let on, or my passive scan was not quite so passive. Wait…where have the passes gone?”

Both of them immediately set to digging around the debris. They eventually found the golden passes, still intact - but with their names scrambled together.

“That is…yeah, that’d explain it. Look,” Charles held it up toward Edwin.

Edwin frowned. “Yes. Well…” he cleared his throat and pursed his lips. Charles’ lips. They were softer than he’d imagined. The thought sent a spike down his spine and goosebumps to rise across his body. “We should immediately tear these passes. I’m sorry, Charles. This is a terrible mess.” He held up his ticket and prepared to tear it.

“No!” Charles’ eyes went wide and he grabbed Edwin’s wrist. “No. Let’s think about it, yeah? How suspicious would it be if we reversed it seconds after we activated it? You heard the Night Nurse. Messing with this magic is a big deal. She can’t know.”

Edwin tried not to be distracted by the feeling of warmth from Charles’ hand as it wrapped around his wrist. He stared at it. His own hands were one part of him he was very familiar with, and it was odd to see it clasped onto one that looked like it belonged to Charles. His mouth went dry. “What do you propose we do then?”

“Well,” said Charles with a cock of his head and a cheeky little grin that was all him despite the fact that it wasn’t his face. “This is not ideal, but we’re still alive, yeah? Might as well try to enjoy it a bit.”

Edwin turned his hand around and gripped Charles. He twisted their fingers together, marvelling at the sensation. He allowed himself that indulgence for a moment, then released it. “It’s not quite so simple. If the Night Nurse discovers we’re in the wrong body, she’ll know we tampered with the spell.”

“Well,” said Charles, “...she won’t have to find out, will she? We’ll just have to play each other for a few days. We can do that, right…” he paused for a moment, straightened, and held his hands delicately in front of him, “...Charles?”

Edwin was taken aback at how easily Charles embodied him. He was embarrassed at how being called by his name filled his stomach with butterflies and he felt guilty about the fact that it excited him. Knowing what Charles felt, and experiencing the world as him - well, that was far more intimate than he ever expected to be with the boy who didn’t return his love.

Edwin looked down at the ticket in his hand. “Well, I suppose we don’t have much of a choice. For a few days at least. Until it’s plausible that we would want to return to spectral form.”

Charles grinned broadly. It was odd to see his own face with such a happy, excited smile. When the face was his, Edwin was considerably more reserved.

“Brills!” exclaimed Charles. Then he cleared his throat, schooled his features back into a more neutral expression. “I mean…excellent.” And then he nodded once.

Edwin grinned a little and looked away. He had a feeling that Charles was going to have an easier time emulating him than the other way around. “Well then. I suppose we should practice a bit. Before anyone comes waltzing in.”

—

They spent the next two hours on ‘How to Be Me 101.’ Charles was having the time of his life playacting as Edwin, even as he grew restless to actually get out and start enjoying being alive again. He would have preferred to be himself, of course, but he was happy to be alive again in whatever form it took.

And something about being Edwin was very entertaining. He experimented with the dramatic little swishy walk that  Edwin claimed was too much but when he examined himself in the now-working mirror, he determined it was not quite enough, actually. The most important thing he had to remember was to be more contained and reserved than he normally would be.

Edwin had the opposite problem.

“You need to smile more, mate,” said Charles as he grabbed his doppelganger by the shoulder. “And relax. You look like you’re brooding.”

“Yes well, you’re quite good at brooding too, so at least that’s in character,” replied Edwin.

Charles had to force himself not to smile and instead look a little perturbed. “Yes, but then people will ask you what’s wrong. You’re supposed to be me, alive again. People are going to expect you to be excited.”

Edwin looked down at his hand and rubbed a finger over the scratch he’d sustained in the explosion. Neither of them had very serious wounds, but having them at all was new to them. “I’m not sure how to do that. Maybe I should just stay here and hold down the fort. You have my permission to have some fun.”

Charles couldn’t manage to keep the smile from creeping out. “And you have mine as well, even if you won’t take it. Come on, I…” just then, a very loud sound emanated from his stomach.

“What was…?” and then Edwin’s followed suit.

Both clutched their stomachs and exchanged looks.

“Are we..?”

“Hungry?” Edwin asked. “I think so.”

Charles giggled in delight and bit his lip. He pressed a hand against his cheek. “We’re hungry! Ahh, okay, okay, you stay here because I know you’re not ready,” he pointed at Edwin, then trotted over to the filing cabinet to pull out petty cash. “I’ll go round the corner and get us something to eat. Yeah?”

Edwin looked shyly away and nodded.

Charles had a weird moment and wondered if he always looked that adorable, or if it was Edwin shining through. “Any em, any requests?”

“I assume this will be fast food, which didn’t exist in my time. So I leave it up to your discretion Ch…Edwin,” Edwin had to force himself to switch names mid-stream. They had agreed it was better to call each other by their apparent names just to get used to it, as calling each other the “wrong” names would be immediately suspicious.

“Very well,” said Charles in his best Edwin impression. “I’ll be back anon.”

“I don’t say anon! Don’t overdo it.”

Charles just grinned and fluttered his fingers, and turned for the exit.

—

Charles was making his way back to the office with two carrier bags full of groceries and a paper bag full of Nando’s. The bag handle was digging into his palm, but the discomfort was fascinating. He’d resisted the temptation to shove a handful of fries into his mouth, but he wanted to share the experience of eating again with Edwin. His stomach protested loudly with deep rumbles.

As he walked past a shop window, Charles startled at his own reflection. Not only was he used to not having one, seeing Edwin looking back at him was incredibly strange. He paused to examine himself, turning side to side. He corrected his posture by standing up a bit straighter and lifting his chin. The whole experience should have been scary or weird, but instead he found it fascinating. Edwin’s body was full of interesting quirks that he was only just getting acquainted with.

The thought of Edwin experiencing the same in his body made Charles both jealous and a bit excited. There was something delightful about seeing his friend out of his comfort zone.

Charles shifted the weight of the food and then started off again. He passed by a narrow alley and saw glowing eyes out of the corner of his eyes.

“So you did get the pass. How wonderful for you,” came a voice from the shadows.

Charles stared as the Cat King emerged from the alley, decked in low rise moto jeans and a cropped mesh shirt and a short faux fur jacket. The o-ring at his neck and various chains adorning him rattled as he stepped forward. His stride was seductive and predatory, and he found himself staring at his bare abdomen and hips.

What was wrong with him? He wasn’t attracted to the Cat King.

But Edwin was.

Charles swallowed. “Yes. It worked. We’ve discovered hunger, which is why the em,” he hefted one of the bags.

Cat sidled up to him and gripped Charles’ wrist. Then he slid his hand down. “Let me help you with that.” He smiled and plucked the carrier bag from his hand.

“Very kind of you,” said Charles tightly, just barely remembering to pretend to be Edwin.

Cat lingered close and examined Charles’ face closely. He inhaled and looked at him with lusty, half-lidded eyes. “Mhmmm. Delightful. I hope I can convince you to have some fun.” And then he winked, withdrew, and started walking toward the office.

Charles felt compelled to stare at Cat’s ass as he walked forward. As the blood rushed between his legs, he knew he was in trouble.

Edwin’s body, it seemed, meant Edwin’s tastes as well.

Keep reading - Chapter 2 on Ao3

[deadtwinksdetectiveagency]

Hello 👋

I have a Payneland prompt which I can't get my mind off of it at the moment. Charles and Edwin solving a case but due to a curse or spell, their body got swapped. And we got something like this.

Crystal and Niko didn't know what happened. Their first reaction was absolute confusion mixed with a bit of fascination.

Charles and Edwin got 2 days to break the spell (because we deserve to enjoy some good ol bodyswap shenanigans for a bit, as a treat).

Thank you so much in advance if you decide to adopt this prompt 🩷

LUNA thank you so much for this fantastic prompt!!! Given how frankly EMBARRASSINGLY long this has been cooking (three! whole! weeks! yikes), I wanted to give you the beginning of what I have, with the promise of more to come!!! xoxo

———

Charles gasps as he comes to.

Fuck, everything hurts.

He hisses, eyes squeezing further shut. He’s facedown on a cold floor, collar too tight and too stiff and shoes too much and clothes too thick and the world humming in a way he’s never heard before.

Somewhere to his left, an unfamiliar groan.

It all comes back to him: the client, the case, the research, the road, the gate, the door, the room, the burst—

“Edwin,” Charles rasps. His voice feels wrong in his throat. He cracks open his eyes and immediately snaps them shut. The light is blindingly bright, bright like the sun if the sun was less than ten feet away.

“Charles?”

Charles’s stomach drops. It’s not Edwin. The voice is just at the edge of familiar, the sort that doesn’t make him recoil, so he reaches for it, eyes still shut. His jacket rubs weirdly at his wrist.

“I’m here,” Charles answers, and his voice comes out familiar but wrong. Fingers brush his, and he grips them tight. Whoever it is, it’s another ghost.

“Charles? Is that you?”

“Yeah, course.” Charles forces himself up into a crouch, still holding onto the strange hand.

“Ah. Oh dear.”

Charles forces his eyes open. At first, all he can make out is the dark hair, red shirt, and black jacket. Details filter in slowly: a glinting earring, a gold necklace, a yellow pin.

“Oh,” he says.

He looks down.

“Well, shit.”

[lereadinggrinch]

MERLIN MASTERLIST

You can find my Dead Boy Detectives fanfics here.

KILL ME. PLEASE. | 1.1k words | merthur

Summary: Merlin doesn't want to go on living without Arthur and seeks a professional hitman to kill him. The killer is not what he expected.

Tags: Assassins & Hitmen, Modern Era, Reincarnation, Angst, Immortal Merlin, Merlin is Emrys

KISSABLE LIPS | 0.6k words | merthur, minor morgwen, Merlin & Morgana

Summary: “You’re both lovesick fools and I can’t stand it anymore.”

Or Morgana having enough of pining fools.

Tags: Humor, Pining Merlin, Idiots in Love, Good Morgana

THE OTHER MAN | 0.6k words | merthur

Summary: A druid tells Merlin that Arthur is cheating on him.

Tags: Humor, Misunderstandings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Knows About Merlin’s Magic, married merthur

WISH GONE WRONG (OR NOT?) | 1.9k words | merthur, minor morgwen

Summary: Merlin and Arthur are given a wishing stone. Merlin wants nothing more than for Arthur to look at him the way he looks at Gwen. The wish comes true. But not in the way Merlin had imagined.

Tags: Bodyswap, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Everyone Knows About Merlin’s Magic

YOU DIDN’T WANT AN AUTOGRAPH? | 0.9k words | merthur

Summary: Merlin unexpectedly meets an actor who somehow looks familiar to him.

Tags: Reincarnation, Modern Era, Humor, Actor Arthur Pendragon

[shelivesinhermind]

favorite tropes in fanworks 

I was tagged by the wonderful @ladyyennefer and this looks fun! 

inspired. game: highlight your top 3-to-10 in each category and tag some friends with whom you would like to compare notes. 

character transformations 

aging up

all human au 

animal transformation 

bodysharing 

bodyswap

centurification

de-aging 

elf au

genderswap

ghosts

magic au

merepeople

robots 

vampire

werewolf 

wingfic

alternate universe 

alpha/beta/omega society

apocafic

barista au/ coffee shop au

BDSM au

crime au

dystopian au

high school au/ college au

historical au

magical au

modern au 

mundane au

noir detective au 

pirate au

prison au

punk au

regency au

rent boy au or hooker au

royalty au

spy, secret agent, assasin or hitman au

western au

zombies au

style, theme or setting 

accidental marriage/ forced marriage/ marriage of convenience 

afterlife-ascension

anthropomorphic

based on a painting 

canadian shack 

case fic

constructed reality 

crossover/ fusion 

curtainfic

desert island 

elevator/ closet fic

epistolary fic 

fake dating/undercover as a couple 

holiday fic

hurt/comfort

interspecies 

kidfic

reincarnation 

snowed in

there was only one bed

time travel

individual elements 

amnesia

didn’t know they were dating

disability fic

döppelgangers/evil twins 

dubcon

fever dream

first time 

hatesex/enemyslash

huddling for warmth 

in vino veritas/ truth serum

kink

magical healing cock

mind control or brainwashing 

non-con

pining

pregnancy/mpreg/magical pregnancy

presumed dead

fuck or die/heat fic/pon farr/sex pollen

skin hunger

soulbound

tentaclefic

tagging @phoenixwrites and @littlebirdola and anyone else who wants to join in!

[perseidlion]

Yes do a body swap fic!! That sounds so fun, it doesn’t even matter who gets swapped

You're in luck! I started one last night.

The premise is that Edwin and Charles get the chance to be re-embodied on a temporary basis as a reward for service to Lost and Found. But the boys being who they are, can't resist peering at the magic in their Hall Passes before using them. They mess things up and end up embodied as each other.

I suppose you could say it's an...embodyswap fic!

[perseidlion]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV), The Sandman (TV 2022) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives) & Despair of the Endless, Cat King/Monty (Dead Boy Detectives), Cat King & Monty (Dead Boy Detectives) Characters: Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives), Despair of the Endless, Monty (Dead Boy Detectives) Additional Tags: Depression, Jealousy, Loneliness, Shapeshifting, Angst, Pining, Heartbreak, Disguise, Cat King Loves Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, POV Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives), Hurt Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives), Desire of the Endless is Cat King's Parent (Dead Boy Detectives), Bodyswap, POV Monty, Transformation, Animal Transformation, Magic, magic punishment, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Identity Porn, Non-Graphic Smut, Identity Swap, Flirting, Self-Discovery, Roleplay, Sexual Roleplay, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Blow Jobs, Mutual Masturbation, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Light Bondage, Schadenfreude, Smut, Crack Treated Seriously Series: Part 10 of Perseid_Lion's Dead Boy Detectives Summary:

NOTE: This was previously a one-shot called Ennui that I have renamed and turned into a multichap. I've also changed the rating to be E, though it's likely to be a soft E/hard M.

In the wake of Edwin's departure the Cat King has fallen into a funk of loneliness and depression. He tries to work through it, but his sadness draws the attention of Despair of the Endless. Cat must get out of his funk and chase away dark thoughts, or he risks a war between the Endless. He decides to take on another form to shake off the dust - Monty's form, and to give Monty his.

Full of Cat's shapeshifting shenanigans and Monty being along for the ride. This fic is tagged Catcrow but the focus is much more on their swap than their relationship.

[perseidlion]

Funny story, these two pics are what inspired me to write the bodyswap fic, Your Body or Mine?

It's currently sitting at 33k words and I've got one or two chapters left.

Edwin and Charles are granted a 'Hall Pass' from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others' bodies - with the others' tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they're human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

Featuring:

Multishipping!

Payneland

Identity issues

Bad choices

Sexuality questioning

Poly negotiations

The intense intimacy of being in the body of someone you love

The intense confusion of living with desires that aren't your own

Pretending to be each other (with minimal deception of people close to them)

Sooo much horniness, but rated M.

[perseidlion]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Cat King/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Monty/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives)/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland (DCU), Monty/Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland Characters: Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland (DCU), Cat King (Dead Boy Detectives), Monty (Dead Boy Detectives), Crystal Palace (DCU), Night Nurse (DCU) Additional Tags: Bodyswap, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Identity Issues, Identity Porn, Touch-Starved, Fluid Sexuality, Deception, Disguise, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Self-Love, Bisexual Male Character, Gay Male Character, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne Loves Charles Rowland, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Identity, Humor, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Crushes, Fake/Pretend Relationship Series: Part 6 of Perseid_Lion's Dead Boy Detectives Summary:

Edwin and Charles are granted a 'Hall Pass' from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others' bodies - with the others' tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they're human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

--- As this is a bodyswap fic, all the pairings aren't straightforward. There will also be more of some pairings than others. I'm also ignoring dubious consent that would happen if a bodyswap were real. So if that is a trigger, beware! I want to have fun with this concept without worrying about deeper implications. It's labeled crackfic for a reason!

Updating regularly!

[perseidlion]

Chapter 3 posted on September 24!

How the Cat King Got His Groove Back (Ongoing, soft E)

The sky over Port Townsend was slate gray as it often was for weeks on end in the winter. The air was damp and heavy, with the ocean breeze cutting right through even the warmest jackets. Winter was usually free of snow in the Pacific Northwest, but the endless stretch of gray and drizzle was just as depressing as any deep blanket of snow. Perhaps moreso, because at least in snowy climes, the sun occasionally came out to play. 

The Cat King’s cannery was drafty and cold. Even his loyal subjects had abandoned him for spots beneath houses and under staircases where they huddled together for warmth.

It had been about a month since the Dead Boy Detectives had come to town and stirred up everything like a whirlwind. Cat had felt more energized than he had in decades, and not just because one of said detectives was curiously handsome and fascinating. 

But in their wake, they’d left an eerie calm. Their time in town had been short, but they had a reputation for a reason. They’d solved nearly a dozen cases, small and large in their short time. Some of the cases had been outstanding for decades. They’d also vanquished Esther Finch, the powerful and vain witch who had been causing trouble in town longer than the Cat King had ruled. 

Esther was a scourge who crossed lines even some of the darkest creatures would not. Plus, she’d beaten him to death with her cane, taking one of his precious lives in the process. Which was just…so rude.  Cat would be lying if he said he didn’t miss her a little - if only for the chaos she brought. She was a piece of shit, but she was a piece of shit who kept life interesting. 

And things were just so…quiet without her particular brand of chaos. 

And without him.

Cat stretched his toes out and off the edge of the stack of palettes that served as his throne. He was draped in a heavy black fur coat to try and hold back the chill. When he exhaled a deep-chested sigh, his breath condensed like cigarette smoke. 

He felt numb. He knew he should get up and at least use his magic to kindle a fire in an oil drum or envelop himself in a protective haze of magic. But the cold that pricked his skin and the draft that trickled between the fur of his coat at least let him feel something. He’d been considering the possibility of moving for a good long while, but couldn’t will his limbs to do more than shift a bit to make sure his body was covered by his coat. 

Cat would swear up and down that he was an independent creature, one who went where he pleased and made love to whoever he liked. But the truth was, he was a profoundly lonely creature who covered up that loneliness with tricks and flirtations. 

He wasn’t fully a cat. When he transformed into his feline form to join the feral colony of Port Townsend, they all knew it was him. They treated him with deference and respect, but they also othered him. He could be human whenever he wanted, which set him apart even more than his position.

Cat wasn’t fully human, either. To the residents of Port Townsend, he was known as the town’s slutty weirdo who was always followed by feral cats. They were used to him by now, but just because they didn’t hassle him didn’t mean he was one of them. His dual form meant he was trapped between two worlds, only really at home with other creatures who had a foot in both worlds. And most of them, he’d already alienated or had some sort of beef with - or were just not creatures whose company he found entertaining. The result was, he didn’t really have any friends in town to speak of, which only added to his loneliness. 

Finally, Cat got up the energy to drag himself to his feet. He took a series of lazy, heavy steps down off the platform, his fur coat dragging along the dirty ground. As he walked aimlessly through the warehouse, he chased echoes of memories. 

First, he passed the stain of blood on the ground where his previous body had been beaten to death by Esther. The reminder of that pain made him wince involuntarily. But then he saw echoes of Edwin when he caught the first hints of lust in his eyes, followed by the indignant British snark of him protesting his punishment. He closed his eyes and remembered what a pair of ghostly lips brushing his cheeks felt like when Edwin came to say goodbye. 

Cat turned and caught his reflection in an old, half-broken mirror propped against one wall and partially covered by a dropcloth. Slowly, he turned to face the mirror head-on. He lifted a hand to summon his magic, paused, rethinking it for half a moment, then he swirled his wrist.

The purple fog that accompanied his transformations with an affectation - a magician’s trick to make the whole thing seem more impressive. His magic in its natural state was subtle and quiet, as befitted a creature of stealth. The shift to his body happened in a blink. 

Edwin’s reflection stared back at him from the mirror, one hand still held delicately in the air, clad in a brown leather glove that matched his brown overcoat. He was a perfect copy, save golden, slitted eyes. He stepped up to the mirror and swept the gloved hand across the surface to clear it of some of the dust. Then he tugged off his glove and caressed his own cheek. He closed his eyes and let his fingertips creep over his lips. He nuzzled his own palm and exhaled warm breath against his fingertips.

When Cat opened his eyes, it was Edwin’s green eyes gazing back at him. Edwin’s face full of sadness and longing. Edwin’s face aching with loneliness. He pulled off the other glove and held his own hand, tracing knuckles and fingertips. He held his own hand and squeezed it. 

Keep reading on Ao3

(This fic was originally a short called Ennui that just consisted of the first chapter. Now it's an ongoing fic with shapeshifting shenanigans and some light Catcrow elements, though the shapeshifting/identity swap stuff is the focus over the ship.)

[perseidlion]

So for no reason in particular, here's a master list of my Dead Boy Detectives fic.

Cat and Ghost - M, 40k. (Catwin, casefic, Sandman crossover, post-canon)

A few months after their return to London from Port Townsend, the Cat King shows back up in Edwin’s life. He’s bent on courting Edwin, and has somehow acquired a magical collar that allows them to properly feel each other. Edwin meets him in secret, unsure of whether he’s ready to tell Charles about the relationship.

In the meantime, business at the Dead Boy Detective Agency continues. They receive a case where a woman is trapped between life and death, tethered between the mortal realm and the beyond by a cursed sorcerer.

But there may be more going on than meets the eye, and an Endless pulling strings from the shadows…

Through a Mirror, Darkly - M, ongoing 25k as of Aug 31. Updating 1-2 times weekly. Sequel to Cat and Ghost. Continued Catwin + developing Cricketcrow. Casefic.

It's been a few months since Edwin, Charles and Crystal left Port Townsend after the death of their friend Niko. They've done their best to move on. In the meantime, they've matched wits with Desire of the Endless, and Edwin has started dating the Cat King.

Cat's gift of a spirit mirror offers the boys a chance to speak to Niko again - if she is indeed on the other side.

Bonus: A short fic, The Human Bargain fits in this continuity (between Cat and Ghost and Through a Mirror, Darkly) where the Cat King teaches Monty how to transform into a human again.

Daydreamers - M, complete, 3.6k. My contribution to the Payneland first kiss genre.

Ghosts can't sleep, but they can daydream. Those daydreams sometimes bring revelations.

Love in Red and Blue - T, complete, 1.5k. Niko and Edwin friendship short.

Niko and Edwin have a movie night and watch Red, White & Royal Blue. The movie unearths feelings in Edwin and Niko supports him.

Warning: spoilers for the RWRB movie in this! If you haven't seen the film, you probably won't be confused but also probably won't fully get Edwin's reactions!

Your Body or Mine? - M, complete, 36k. Multishipping (Payneland and Catwin focus), pre-poly bodyswap fic.

Edwin and Charles are granted a 'Hall Pass' from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them. The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others' bodies - with the others' tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they're human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

The Legacy of Edwin Payne - T, complete, 2.1k. Alternate universe fic where Edwin and Charles both live and meet for a brief window at the end of Edwin's life.

It's 1989. Charles Rowland is about to be sent off to boarding school by his abusive father. Before he can be sent away, the police catch his father abusing his mother and arrest him.

An elderly gentleman, Edwin Payne, who lives in Charles' neighbourhood, consoles him as his mother is being tended to.

CW: Domestic/spousal abuse. Referenced but not seen.

---

I have at least a half dozen other ideas for stories, both short and long. I have no intention of stopping writing anytime soon.

[perseidlion]

"How complicated and messy do you want to make your Dead Boy Detectives bodyswap fic where they end up alive, but in each others' bodies?"

Me: yes

[perseidlion]

If you're familiar with my fic, you know I love a good bodyswap or human shapeshift.

If there's some sort of Dead Boy Detectives magical swap or transformation you'd like to see, please let me know! My ask box is open and anonymous is engaged.

[deadtwinksdetectiveagency]

wip ask game

I was tagged by @historia-gloria! Thank you dear Aleks!

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have wips.

SO I actually have a metric shit-ton of wips, but I will limit myself to the Dead Boy Detectives ones since that's what this blog is all about:

A Familiar Story

Unfamiliar

Another Familiar Story

Squatter Horror

Bodyswap

Tagging: @babyseraphim @catalists @writingstuff @zacsoyama and @coloursflyaway!

[perseidlion]

Chapter 8 just posted, August 12!

I’ve been having great fun with this Dead Boy Detectives bodyswap fic. It’s currently on chapter 6, updating a few times a week with chapters between 2700-4000 words. 

Summary:

Edwin and Charles are granted a ‘Hall Pass’ from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others’ bodies - with the others’ tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they’re human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

— As this is a bodyswap fic, all the pairings aren’t straightforward. There will also be more of some pairings than others. I’m also ignoring dubious consent that would happen if a bodyswap were real. So if that is a trigger, beware! I want to have fun with this concept without worrying about deeper implications. It’s labeled crackfic for a reason!

—

Chapter 1

“I want it to be made exceptionally clear that a Hall Pass is very much a privilege that can be revoked at any time. You boys are very fortunate that we had all the needed information on file to process your application. There are very few ghosts in the employ of Lost and Found, and it usually takes considerably longer for a request of this nature to be approved. Count yourself fortunate, and I trust you won’t abuse the privilege and trust that has been placed in you?”

The Night Nurse stood in front of Edwin and Charles, looking neat as a pin with two golden tickets in her hand.

A ‘Hall Pass’ was a special magical permit that would allow a ghost to be re-embodied for a set period at a time. Edwin had found mention of it when studiously reading the Lost and Found employee handbook cover-to-cover.

Charles had never been so glad of Edwin’s bookish and thorough nature. It was likely they would have never discovered the existence of Hall Passes, let alone how to apply for them if he hadn’t read the handbook.

That was why the Night Nurse looked sour, but not as sour as she normally was when dealing with them. In fact, she had a little twinkle in her eye, as if she was secretly impressed by Edwin’s attention to detail.

“No, mum. We appreciate the trust,” said Charles as he stepped forward to take the tickets.

“Ah ah ah…” said the Night Nurse as she stepped backward and pulled the tickets toward her. “First, some ground rules.”

Charles sighed.

Edwin nudged him and stood up straighter, hands clasped in front of him. “Of course.”

The Night Nurse lifted her chin and eyed them both. “First, the embodiment will last approximately one week. I say approximately because magic of this nature is not precise. It might be as little as five days, to as long as ten. Second, if you die while embodied, your special status as employees of Lost and Found will be reevaluated and you may lose your permission to stay on Earth in ghostly form. A second death changes your status and categorization and you will essentially be starting from scratch.”

Charles glanced at Edwin. They exchanged a look of worry, but Charles shrugged it off. “Can’t be that hard to not get got again for a week, ay?”

“It certainly shouldn’t be,” said the Night Nurst testily. “Although this is complicated by the fact that you must still attend to your duties as envoys of Lost and Found while embodied. What you should have done is request a leave of absence for the duration of the Hall Pass. But it’s too late for that as you would have had to file the request several weeks ago. We will not tolerate this interfering with your work.”

“Bollocks,” Charles muttered under his breath.

Edwin leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry. I anticipated that. Unless a new client comes in, we should only have to deal with paperwork.”

“I’m not finished,” snapped the Night Nurse. “You may, at any time, voluntarily return to spectral form. But doing so will nullify the Hall Pass. For one to be nullified, the other must as well - so you must be in agreement. To nullify the pass, tear it in half.” She mimed tearing it.  

“And finally…” she looked down at the passes and tapped them against her hand. “Under no circumstances may you tamper with the magic in these passes. Doing so is potentially very dangerous. If you are discovered to have tampered with them in any way, you will be outlawed from ever applying for a Hall Pass or other such magical perks again, and it may result in your dismissal from Lost and Found, and thus the removal of our protection. Am I understood, boys?”

“Yes, we understand,” said Edwin. He stepped forward and held his hand out.

The Night Nurse eyed them both suspiciously, then grudgingly handed over the two golden passes. “I’ll be checking in periodically.” And then, after relinquishing the passes, she turned on her heel, summoned a door, and stepped through.

—

“Sooo, we’re definitely messing with these tickets before we use them, yeah?” asked Charles as he perched on the edge of the desk where Edwin was examining the passes under a magnifier.

“Of course,” said Edwin. “It would be foolish to pass up the chance to understand this sort of magic. But I only intend to look.”

Charles leaned a little closer. “Do you think you could replicate it?”

Edwin stiffened at the closeness. He swallowed and looked up at his friend. “Potentially.” He was not as enthused as Charles about re-embodiment. He’d felt for decades in Hell. Granted, it was mostly pain, but it made him appreciate the numbness of a ghost’s existence. But he knew how much a chance to live again would mean to Charles, so he’d gone along with it.

“It’d be brills to be able to swap back and forth. Solid and human when we need to be, ghostly when that bit works,” Charles was full of excitement. He walked away from the desk, then spun on the spot and beamed at Edwin.

Edwin smiled a little and ducked his head. “Yes, well, that would be a rather big leap. So you’d best be sure to enjoy this bit of embodiment. From what I read of the paperwork, these passes are only granted about once a decade or so.”

Charles walked back over to Edwin and clapped him on the shoulder. “I believe in you, mate. But don’t take too long examining those things. I’m looking forward to being able to feel.”

Edwin spun another magnifier around to get a closer look at the ticket. Their names were printed on them in embossed letters, along with a copy of the terms the Night Nurse had outlined. The end of the pass was perforated with the instructions 'DETACH HERE TO ACTIVATE.’ There were also instructions to tear the ticket in half to return to ghostly form prematurely.

Edwin scrunched his nose up and then flipped a special glass around. The device allowed him to see the flow of magic. “Fascinating,” he murmured.

“What?” asked Charles.

“The magic is woven into the fibres of the paper. This is all exceptionally complicated and balanced.” Edwin picked up a magical probe and very gently swept it over both tickets.

The effect of that bit of magical interaction was immediate. There was a high-pitched whine and a puff of golden smoke. Edwin fell backwards and hit the floor. He lay there shocked.

“What the bloody hell! What happened?” asked Charles. He moved to help Edwin up.

Edwin scrambled to his feet and picked up the tickets. “I’m not sure. Anti-tampering measure, perhaps? The tickets seem intact.”

“That’s a relief. You know…maaaybe we shouldn’t mess with them, like the Night Nurse said?” Charles held out his hand for his pass.

Edwin frowned. “Perhaps you’re right. There’s time for me to do my own research in any case, now that we know this is possible.” He looked down at the tickets and was momentarily confused. He was sure the one with his name was on the right, and the one with Charles’ name was on the left. But the opposite was true. He stared at them both for a moment, brow furrowed.

“Something the matter?” asked Charles.

“No, no,” said Edwin with a distracted note to his tone. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Here you are.” He handed over the ticket with Charles’ name on it.

What he missed was the name flickered back to his own moments after he passed it to Charles.

“Shall we, then?” asked Edwin, who hadn’t looked at his own ticket again.

“Yeah! It’s going to be great. Really. We can eat! Sleep! All of that,” said Charles, his smile brilliant and excited.

“Yes,” Edwin replied with less certainty. “It will definitely be an adventure.”

Charles held up his pass and grabbed the end. “On three?”

Edwin nodded.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

Edwin tore the end of his pass at the same moment as Charles. He only realized after the last perforation detached that the name on the ticket was Charles Rowland, not Edwin Payne. “Oh, fuuu—.”

The Night Nurse had said nothing about the act of embodying ghosts being destructive. Edwin imagined it would be a gentle process where he suddenly found himself human again. But his unintentional tampering with the Hall Pass had disrupted the magic - as had the fact that he’d torn the wrong ticket.

Edwin and Charles were thrown away from each other in a puff of golden smoke, bouncing off the walls on opposite sides of the office.

The moment Edwin connected with the wall, he knew he had a body. It hurt. His teeth rattled in his head and he felt a heavy concussive force in his chest as he hit the floor. The explosion had also shattered furniture and there were small splinters of wood and shallow lacerations in his hand.

No, not his hand. That was not his hand. He recognized the deep red shirt and darker skin and knew immediately that it belonged to Charles. Edwin scrambled to his feet and weaved as the force of the blast made his head spin. “Charles,” he croaked. “Are you all right?”

That was not the right voice.

There was a rough cough and debris from the desk was pushed aside. “I’m all right, I’m all right. Ow. Forgot about pain. Wait…” Charles rolled over and stood up. He stared at his hands.

As soon as he did, Edwin knew what he feared was true was actually the case. The two stood there staring at one another, as perfect replicas - but in reverse.

“Ohhhh shit shit shit…” Charles stumbled forward, tripping over his own feet. He was wearing a copy of Edwin’s spectral outfit of a bowtie, jacket, short pants and stockings. He rubbed his face. “I’m you, aren’t I? And you’re…” he pointed.

Edwin looked down at himself and tugged the edge of Charles’ jacket. “It…it seems so.”

“Even the accents. This is bloody weird. What happened?” Charles stepped forward.

Edwin stared at Charles in his body. Being a ghost without access to mirrors meant he was not especially familiar with his own face. Seeing himself standing there was incredibly surreal. “I suspect that the magic was even more delicate than the Night Nurse let on, or my passive scan was not quite so passive. Wait…where have the passes gone?”

Both of them immediately set to digging around the debris. They eventually found the golden passes, still intact - but with their names scrambled together.

“That is…yeah, that’d explain it. Look,” Charles held it up toward Edwin.

Edwin frowned. “Yes. Well…” he cleared his throat and pursed his lips. Charles’ lips. They were softer than he’d imagined. The thought sent a spike down his spine and goosebumps to rise across his body. “We should immediately tear these passes. I’m sorry, Charles. This is a terrible mess.” He held up his ticket and prepared to tear it.

“No!” Charles’ eyes went wide and he grabbed Edwin’s wrist. “No. Let’s think about it, yeah? How suspicious would it be if we reversed it seconds after we activated it? You heard the Night Nurse. Messing with this magic is a big deal. She can’t know.”

Edwin tried not to be distracted by the feeling of warmth from Charles’ hand as it wrapped around his wrist. He stared at it. His own hands were one part of him he was very familiar with, and it was odd to see it clasped onto one that looked like it belonged to Charles. His mouth went dry. “What do you propose we do then?”

“Well,” said Charles with a cock of his head and a cheeky little grin that was all him despite the fact that it wasn’t his face. “This is not ideal, but we’re still alive, yeah? Might as well try to enjoy it a bit.”

Edwin turned his hand around and gripped Charles. He twisted their fingers together, marvelling at the sensation. He allowed himself that indulgence for a moment, then released it. “It’s not quite so simple. If the Night Nurse discovers we’re in the wrong body, she’ll know we tampered with the spell.”

“Well,” said Charles, “…she won’t have to find out, will she? We’ll just have to play each other for a few days. We can do that, right…” he paused for a moment, straightened, and held his hands delicately in front of him, “…Charles?”

Edwin was taken aback at how easily Charles embodied him. He was embarrassed at how being called by his name filled his stomach with butterflies and he felt guilty about the fact that it excited him. Knowing what Charles felt, and experiencing the world as him - well, that was far more intimate than he ever expected to be with the boy who didn’t return his love.

Edwin looked down at the ticket in his hand. “Well, I suppose we don’t have much of a choice. For a few days at least. Until it’s plausible that we would want to return to spectral form.”

Charles grinned broadly. It was odd to see his own face with such a happy, excited smile. When the face was his, Edwin was considerably more reserved.

“Brills!” exclaimed Charles. Then he cleared his throat, schooled his features back into a more neutral expression. “I mean…excellent.” And then he nodded once.

Edwin grinned a little and looked away. He had a feeling that Charles was going to have an easier time emulating him than the other way around. “Well then. I suppose we should practice a bit. Before anyone comes waltzing in.”

—

They spent the next two hours on ‘How to Be Me 101.’ Charles was having the time of his life playacting as Edwin, even as he grew restless to actually get out and start enjoying being alive again. He would have preferred to be himself, of course, but he was happy to be alive again in whatever form it took.

And something about being Edwin was very entertaining. He experimented with the dramatic little swishy walk that  Edwin claimed was too much but when he examined himself in the now-working mirror, he determined it was not quite enough, actually. The most important thing he had to remember was to be more contained and reserved than he normally would be.

Edwin had the opposite problem.

“You need to smile more, mate,” said Charles as he grabbed his doppelganger by the shoulder. “And relax. You look like you’re brooding.”

“Yes well, you’re quite good at brooding too, so at least that’s in character,” replied Edwin.

Charles had to force himself not to smile and instead look a little perturbed. “Yes, but then people will ask you what’s wrong. You’re supposed to be me, alive again. People are going to expect you to be excited.”

Edwin looked down at his hand and rubbed a finger over the scratch he’d sustained in the explosion. Neither of them had very serious wounds, but having them at all was new to them. “I’m not sure how to do that. Maybe I should just stay here and hold down the fort. You have my permission to have some fun.”

Charles couldn’t manage to keep the smile from creeping out. “And you have mine as well, even if you won’t take it. Come on, I…” just then, a very loud sound emanated from his stomach.

“What was…?” and then Edwin’s followed suit.

Both clutched their stomachs and exchanged looks.

“Are we..?”

“Hungry?” Edwin asked. “I think so.”

Charles giggled in delight and bit his lip. He pressed a hand against his cheek. “We’re hungry! Ahh, okay, okay, you stay here because I know you’re not ready,” he pointed at Edwin, then trotted over to the filing cabinet to pull out petty cash. “I’ll go round the corner and get us something to eat. Yeah?”

Edwin looked shyly away and nodded.

Charles had a weird moment and wondered if he always looked that adorable, or if it was Edwin shining through. “Any em, any requests?”

“I assume this will be fast food, which didn’t exist in my time. So I leave it up to your discretion Ch…Edwin,” Edwin had to force himself to switch names mid-stream. They had agreed it was better to call each other by their apparent names just to get used to it, as calling each other the “wrong” names would be immediately suspicious.

“Very well,” said Charles in his best Edwin impression. “I’ll be back anon.”

“I don’t say anon! Don’t overdo it.”

Charles just grinned and fluttered his fingers, and turned for the exit.

—

Charles was making his way back to the office with two carrier bags full of groceries and a paper bag full of Nando’s. The bag handle was digging into his palm, but the discomfort was fascinating. He’d resisted the temptation to shove a handful of fries into his mouth, but he wanted to share the experience of eating again with Edwin. His stomach protested loudly with deep rumbles.

As he walked past a shop window, Charles startled at his own reflection. Not only was he used to not having one, seeing Edwin looking back at him was incredibly strange. He paused to examine himself, turning side to side. He corrected his posture by standing up a bit straighter and lifting his chin. The whole experience should have been scary or weird, but instead he found it fascinating. Edwin’s body was full of interesting quirks that he was only just getting acquainted with.

The thought of Edwin experiencing the same in his body made Charles both jealous and a bit excited. There was something delightful about seeing his friend out of his comfort zone.

Charles shifted the weight of the food and then started off again. He passed by a narrow alley and saw glowing eyes out of the corner of his eyes.

“So you did get the pass. How wonderful for you,” came a voice from the shadows.

Charles stared as the Cat King emerged from the alley, decked in low rise moto jeans and a cropped mesh shirt and a short faux fur jacket. The o-ring at his neck and various chains adorning him rattled as he stepped forward. His stride was seductive and predatory, and he found himself staring at his bare abdomen and hips.

What was wrong with him? He wasn’t attracted to the Cat King.

But Edwin was.

Charles swallowed. “Yes. It worked. We’ve discovered hunger, which is why the em,” he hefted one of the bags.

Cat sidled up to him and gripped Charles’ wrist. Then he slid his hand down. “Let me help you with that.” He smiled and plucked the carrier bag from his hand.

“Very kind of you,” said Charles tightly, just barely remembering to pretend to be Edwin.

Cat lingered close and examined Charles’ face closely. He inhaled and looked at him with lusty, half-lidded eyes. “Mhmmm. Delightful. I hope I can convince you to have some fun.” And then he winked, withdrew, and started walking toward the office.

Charles felt compelled to stare at Cat’s ass as he walked forward. As the blood rushed between his legs, he knew he was in trouble.

Edwin’s body, it seemed, meant Edwin’s tastes as well.

Keep reading - Chapter 2 on Ao3

[perseidlion]

Chapter 9 just posted, August 18!

I’ve been having great fun with this Dead Boy Detectives bodyswap fic. It’s currently on chapter 6, updating a few times a week with chapters between 2700-4000 words. 

Summary:

Edwin and Charles are granted a ‘Hall Pass’ from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others’ bodies - with the others’ tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they’re human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

— As this is a bodyswap fic, all the pairings aren’t straightforward. There will also be more of some pairings than others. I’m also ignoring dubious consent that would happen if a bodyswap were real. So if that is a trigger, beware! I want to have fun with this concept without worrying about deeper implications. It’s labeled crackfic for a reason!

—

Chapter 1

“I want it to be made exceptionally clear that a Hall Pass is very much a privilege that can be revoked at any time. You boys are very fortunate that we had all the needed information on file to process your application. There are very few ghosts in the employ of Lost and Found, and it usually takes considerably longer for a request of this nature to be approved. Count yourself fortunate, and I trust you won’t abuse the privilege and trust that has been placed in you?”

The Night Nurse stood in front of Edwin and Charles, looking neat as a pin with two golden tickets in her hand.

A ‘Hall Pass’ was a special magical permit that would allow a ghost to be re-embodied for a set period at a time. Edwin had found mention of it when studiously reading the Lost and Found employee handbook cover-to-cover.

Charles had never been so glad of Edwin’s bookish and thorough nature. It was likely they would have never discovered the existence of Hall Passes, let alone how to apply for them if he hadn’t read the handbook.

That was why the Night Nurse looked sour, but not as sour as she normally was when dealing with them. In fact, she had a little twinkle in her eye, as if she was secretly impressed by Edwin’s attention to detail.

“No, mum. We appreciate the trust,” said Charles as he stepped forward to take the tickets.

“Ah ah ah…” said the Night Nurse as she stepped backward and pulled the tickets toward her. “First, some ground rules.”

Charles sighed.

Edwin nudged him and stood up straighter, hands clasped in front of him. “Of course.”

The Night Nurse lifted her chin and eyed them both. “First, the embodiment will last approximately one week. I say approximately because magic of this nature is not precise. It might be as little as five days, to as long as ten. Second, if you die while embodied, your special status as employees of Lost and Found will be reevaluated and you may lose your permission to stay on Earth in ghostly form. A second death changes your status and categorization and you will essentially be starting from scratch.”

Charles glanced at Edwin. They exchanged a look of worry, but Charles shrugged it off. “Can’t be that hard to not get got again for a week, ay?”

“It certainly shouldn’t be,” said the Night Nurst testily. “Although this is complicated by the fact that you must still attend to your duties as envoys of Lost and Found while embodied. What you should have done is request a leave of absence for the duration of the Hall Pass. But it’s too late for that as you would have had to file the request several weeks ago. We will not tolerate this interfering with your work.”

“Bollocks,” Charles muttered under his breath.

Edwin leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry. I anticipated that. Unless a new client comes in, we should only have to deal with paperwork.”

“I’m not finished,” snapped the Night Nurse. “You may, at any time, voluntarily return to spectral form. But doing so will nullify the Hall Pass. For one to be nullified, the other must as well - so you must be in agreement. To nullify the pass, tear it in half.” She mimed tearing it.  

“And finally…” she looked down at the passes and tapped them against her hand. “Under no circumstances may you tamper with the magic in these passes. Doing so is potentially very dangerous. If you are discovered to have tampered with them in any way, you will be outlawed from ever applying for a Hall Pass or other such magical perks again, and it may result in your dismissal from Lost and Found, and thus the removal of our protection. Am I understood, boys?”

“Yes, we understand,” said Edwin. He stepped forward and held his hand out.

The Night Nurse eyed them both suspiciously, then grudgingly handed over the two golden passes. “I’ll be checking in periodically.” And then, after relinquishing the passes, she turned on her heel, summoned a door, and stepped through.

—

“Sooo, we’re definitely messing with these tickets before we use them, yeah?” asked Charles as he perched on the edge of the desk where Edwin was examining the passes under a magnifier.

“Of course,” said Edwin. “It would be foolish to pass up the chance to understand this sort of magic. But I only intend to look.”

Charles leaned a little closer. “Do you think you could replicate it?”

Edwin stiffened at the closeness. He swallowed and looked up at his friend. “Potentially.” He was not as enthused as Charles about re-embodiment. He’d felt for decades in Hell. Granted, it was mostly pain, but it made him appreciate the numbness of a ghost’s existence. But he knew how much a chance to live again would mean to Charles, so he’d gone along with it.

“It’d be brills to be able to swap back and forth. Solid and human when we need to be, ghostly when that bit works,” Charles was full of excitement. He walked away from the desk, then spun on the spot and beamed at Edwin.

Edwin smiled a little and ducked his head. “Yes, well, that would be a rather big leap. So you’d best be sure to enjoy this bit of embodiment. From what I read of the paperwork, these passes are only granted about once a decade or so.”

Charles walked back over to Edwin and clapped him on the shoulder. “I believe in you, mate. But don’t take too long examining those things. I’m looking forward to being able to feel.”

Edwin spun another magnifier around to get a closer look at the ticket. Their names were printed on them in embossed letters, along with a copy of the terms the Night Nurse had outlined. The end of the pass was perforated with the instructions ‘DETACH HERE TO ACTIVATE.’ There were also instructions to tear the ticket in half to return to ghostly form prematurely.

Edwin scrunched his nose up and then flipped a special glass around. The device allowed him to see the flow of magic. “Fascinating,” he murmured.

“What?” asked Charles.

“The magic is woven into the fibres of the paper. This is all exceptionally complicated and balanced.” Edwin picked up a magical probe and very gently swept it over both tickets.

The effect of that bit of magical interaction was immediate. There was a high-pitched whine and a puff of golden smoke. Edwin fell backwards and hit the floor. He lay there shocked.

“What the bloody hell! What happened?” asked Charles. He moved to help Edwin up.

Edwin scrambled to his feet and picked up the tickets. “I’m not sure. Anti-tampering measure, perhaps? The tickets seem intact.”

“That’s a relief. You know…maaaybe we shouldn’t mess with them, like the Night Nurse said?” Charles held out his hand for his pass.

Edwin frowned. “Perhaps you’re right. There’s time for me to do my own research in any case, now that we know this is possible.” He looked down at the tickets and was momentarily confused. He was sure the one with his name was on the right, and the one with Charles’ name was on the left. But the opposite was true. He stared at them both for a moment, brow furrowed.

“Something the matter?” asked Charles.

“No, no,” said Edwin with a distracted note to his tone. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Here you are.” He handed over the ticket with Charles’ name on it.

What he missed was the name flickered back to his own moments after he passed it to Charles.

“Shall we, then?” asked Edwin, who hadn’t looked at his own ticket again.

“Yeah! It’s going to be great. Really. We can eat! Sleep! All of that,” said Charles, his smile brilliant and excited.

“Yes,” Edwin replied with less certainty. “It will definitely be an adventure.”

Charles held up his pass and grabbed the end. “On three?”

Edwin nodded.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

Edwin tore the end of his pass at the same moment as Charles. He only realized after the last perforation detached that the name on the ticket was Charles Rowland, not Edwin Payne. “Oh, fuuu—.”

The Night Nurse had said nothing about the act of embodying ghosts being destructive. Edwin imagined it would be a gentle process where he suddenly found himself human again. But his unintentional tampering with the Hall Pass had disrupted the magic - as had the fact that he’d torn the wrong ticket.

Edwin and Charles were thrown away from each other in a puff of golden smoke, bouncing off the walls on opposite sides of the office.

The moment Edwin connected with the wall, he knew he had a body. It hurt. His teeth rattled in his head and he felt a heavy concussive force in his chest as he hit the floor. The explosion had also shattered furniture and there were small splinters of wood and shallow lacerations in his hand.

No, not his hand. That was not his hand. He recognized the deep red shirt and darker skin and knew immediately that it belonged to Charles. Edwin scrambled to his feet and weaved as the force of the blast made his head spin. “Charles,” he croaked. “Are you all right?”

That was not the right voice.

There was a rough cough and debris from the desk was pushed aside. “I’m all right, I’m all right. Ow. Forgot about pain. Wait…” Charles rolled over and stood up. He stared at his hands.

As soon as he did, Edwin knew what he feared was true was actually the case. The two stood there staring at one another, as perfect replicas - but in reverse.

“Ohhhh shit shit shit…” Charles stumbled forward, tripping over his own feet. He was wearing a copy of Edwin’s spectral outfit of a bowtie, jacket, short pants and stockings. He rubbed his face. “I’m you, aren’t I? And you’re…” he pointed.

Edwin looked down at himself and tugged the edge of Charles’ jacket. “It…it seems so.”

“Even the accents. This is bloody weird. What happened?” Charles stepped forward.

Edwin stared at Charles in his body. Being a ghost without access to mirrors meant he was not especially familiar with his own face. Seeing himself standing there was incredibly surreal. “I suspect that the magic was even more delicate than the Night Nurse let on, or my passive scan was not quite so passive. Wait…where have the passes gone?”

Both of them immediately set to digging around the debris. They eventually found the golden passes, still intact - but with their names scrambled together.

“That is…yeah, that’d explain it. Look,” Charles held it up toward Edwin.

Edwin frowned. “Yes. Well…” he cleared his throat and pursed his lips. Charles’ lips. They were softer than he’d imagined. The thought sent a spike down his spine and goosebumps to rise across his body. “We should immediately tear these passes. I’m sorry, Charles. This is a terrible mess.” He held up his ticket and prepared to tear it.

“No!” Charles’ eyes went wide and he grabbed Edwin’s wrist. “No. Let’s think about it, yeah? How suspicious would it be if we reversed it seconds after we activated it? You heard the Night Nurse. Messing with this magic is a big deal. She can’t know.”

Edwin tried not to be distracted by the feeling of warmth from Charles’ hand as it wrapped around his wrist. He stared at it. His own hands were one part of him he was very familiar with, and it was odd to see it clasped onto one that looked like it belonged to Charles. His mouth went dry. “What do you propose we do then?”

“Well,” said Charles with a cock of his head and a cheeky little grin that was all him despite the fact that it wasn’t his face. “This is not ideal, but we’re still alive, yeah? Might as well try to enjoy it a bit.”

Edwin turned his hand around and gripped Charles. He twisted their fingers together, marvelling at the sensation. He allowed himself that indulgence for a moment, then released it. “It’s not quite so simple. If the Night Nurse discovers we’re in the wrong body, she’ll know we tampered with the spell.”

“Well,” said Charles, “…she won’t have to find out, will she? We’ll just have to play each other for a few days. We can do that, right…” he paused for a moment, straightened, and held his hands delicately in front of him, “…Charles?”

Edwin was taken aback at how easily Charles embodied him. He was embarrassed at how being called by his name filled his stomach with butterflies and he felt guilty about the fact that it excited him. Knowing what Charles felt, and experiencing the world as him - well, that was far more intimate than he ever expected to be with the boy who didn’t return his love.

Edwin looked down at the ticket in his hand. “Well, I suppose we don’t have much of a choice. For a few days at least. Until it’s plausible that we would want to return to spectral form.”

Charles grinned broadly. It was odd to see his own face with such a happy, excited smile. When the face was his, Edwin was considerably more reserved.

“Brills!” exclaimed Charles. Then he cleared his throat, schooled his features back into a more neutral expression. “I mean…excellent.” And then he nodded once.

Edwin grinned a little and looked away. He had a feeling that Charles was going to have an easier time emulating him than the other way around. “Well then. I suppose we should practice a bit. Before anyone comes waltzing in.”

—

They spent the next two hours on ‘How to Be Me 101.’ Charles was having the time of his life playacting as Edwin, even as he grew restless to actually get out and start enjoying being alive again. He would have preferred to be himself, of course, but he was happy to be alive again in whatever form it took.

And something about being Edwin was very entertaining. He experimented with the dramatic little swishy walk that  Edwin claimed was too much but when he examined himself in the now-working mirror, he determined it was not quite enough, actually. The most important thing he had to remember was to be more contained and reserved than he normally would be.

Edwin had the opposite problem.

“You need to smile more, mate,” said Charles as he grabbed his doppelganger by the shoulder. “And relax. You look like you’re brooding.”

“Yes well, you’re quite good at brooding too, so at least that’s in character,” replied Edwin.

Charles had to force himself not to smile and instead look a little perturbed. “Yes, but then people will ask you what’s wrong. You’re supposed to be me, alive again. People are going to expect you to be excited.”

Edwin looked down at his hand and rubbed a finger over the scratch he’d sustained in the explosion. Neither of them had very serious wounds, but having them at all was new to them. “I’m not sure how to do that. Maybe I should just stay here and hold down the fort. You have my permission to have some fun.”

Charles couldn’t manage to keep the smile from creeping out. “And you have mine as well, even if you won’t take it. Come on, I…” just then, a very loud sound emanated from his stomach.

“What was…?” and then Edwin’s followed suit.

Both clutched their stomachs and exchanged looks.

“Are we..?”

“Hungry?” Edwin asked. “I think so.”

Charles giggled in delight and bit his lip. He pressed a hand against his cheek. “We’re hungry! Ahh, okay, okay, you stay here because I know you’re not ready,” he pointed at Edwin, then trotted over to the filing cabinet to pull out petty cash. “I’ll go round the corner and get us something to eat. Yeah?”

Edwin looked shyly away and nodded.

Charles had a weird moment and wondered if he always looked that adorable, or if it was Edwin shining through. “Any em, any requests?”

“I assume this will be fast food, which didn’t exist in my time. So I leave it up to your discretion Ch…Edwin,” Edwin had to force himself to switch names mid-stream. They had agreed it was better to call each other by their apparent names just to get used to it, as calling each other the “wrong” names would be immediately suspicious.

“Very well,” said Charles in his best Edwin impression. “I’ll be back anon.”

“I don’t say anon! Don’t overdo it.”

Charles just grinned and fluttered his fingers, and turned for the exit.

—

Charles was making his way back to the office with two carrier bags full of groceries and a paper bag full of Nando’s. The bag handle was digging into his palm, but the discomfort was fascinating. He’d resisted the temptation to shove a handful of fries into his mouth, but he wanted to share the experience of eating again with Edwin. His stomach protested loudly with deep rumbles.

As he walked past a shop window, Charles startled at his own reflection. Not only was he used to not having one, seeing Edwin looking back at him was incredibly strange. He paused to examine himself, turning side to side. He corrected his posture by standing up a bit straighter and lifting his chin. The whole experience should have been scary or weird, but instead he found it fascinating. Edwin’s body was full of interesting quirks that he was only just getting acquainted with.

The thought of Edwin experiencing the same in his body made Charles both jealous and a bit excited. There was something delightful about seeing his friend out of his comfort zone.

Charles shifted the weight of the food and then started off again. He passed by a narrow alley and saw glowing eyes out of the corner of his eyes.

“So you did get the pass. How wonderful for you,” came a voice from the shadows.

Charles stared as the Cat King emerged from the alley, decked in low rise moto jeans and a cropped mesh shirt and a short faux fur jacket. The o-ring at his neck and various chains adorning him rattled as he stepped forward. His stride was seductive and predatory, and he found himself staring at his bare abdomen and hips.

What was wrong with him? He wasn’t attracted to the Cat King.

But Edwin was.

Charles swallowed. “Yes. It worked. We’ve discovered hunger, which is why the em,” he hefted one of the bags.

Cat sidled up to him and gripped Charles’ wrist. Then he slid his hand down. “Let me help you with that.” He smiled and plucked the carrier bag from his hand.

“Very kind of you,” said Charles tightly, just barely remembering to pretend to be Edwin.

Cat lingered close and examined Charles’ face closely. He inhaled and looked at him with lusty, half-lidded eyes. “Mhmmm. Delightful. I hope I can convince you to have some fun.” And then he winked, withdrew, and started walking toward the office.

Charles felt compelled to stare at Cat’s ass as he walked forward. As the blood rushed between his legs, he knew he was in trouble.

Edwin’s body, it seemed, meant Edwin’s tastes as well.

Keep reading - Chapter 2 on Ao3

[perseidlion]

This fic is now complete!

Funny story, these two pics are what inspired me to write the bodyswap fic, Your Body or Mine?

It's currently sitting at 33k words and I've got one or two chapters left.

Edwin and Charles are granted a 'Hall Pass' from Lost and Found that allows them to become human again for a limited time. They were warned not to mess with the spell, but curiosity got the better of them.

The spell goes wrong. Instead of ending up as human versions of themselves, they end up in each others' bodies - with the others' tastes and proclivities.

They must pretend to be each other as long as they're human, lest Lost and Found discover they tampered with the Hall Pass.

Featuring:

Multishipping!

Payneland

Identity issues

Bad choices

Sexuality questioning

Poly negotiations

The intense intimacy of being in the body of someone you love

The intense confusion of living with desires that aren't your own

Pretending to be each other (with minimal deception of people close to them)

Sooo much horniness, but rated M.