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#dazzli
kandidandi · 1 year
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slides him around
attack at @just-a-drawing-bean muhaha1!!
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Polished up a little doodle of my sona Dazzle with a snek mouth. The bottom left corner felt empty so I gave her an apple to munch, as a treat.
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UMMM UM I'M SORRY TO DO THIS BUT UHH
HOBIE x SPIRITUAL!OC
HOBIE X BLACK!OC THAT'S LIKE ERYKAH BADU
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Do you see it do you see it
Like an incense-burning super-calm natured, grounded, centered black sista
They both have natural hair she compliments him on all the time. In fact, it was one of the first things she said to him - and it stuck with Hobie. Hardly anyone compliments his hair - that like that.
To others, his hair 'interesting' or at most 'stylish'. But he's never had someone call his hair beautiful, or healthy, or inspiring.
She's like 'brotha you need to put me onto what you're on' because seeing Hobie with hair so free and thriving in the world is something so rare and valuable
And her saying that sticks with him so much.
She talks JUST as cryptically as he does.
Most of the things she says are almost phrased like poems. Always dropping little nuggets of knowledge about spirit and racism and balance
Lots of time she'll make references to poems, of quote lines of books from black female writers like Maya Angelou.
She sees him after a long day, telling him 'Look at you, giving a caged bird a reason to sing'
Their conversations sound confusing as FUCK. Hobie and her are always talking in metaphors and making jokes referencing leftist thinkers
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They're very into black love.
They bond over literature written by black anti-apartheid thinkers in South Africa, she teaches him how to celebrate Kwanzaa - after Hobie spent years ignoring the holidays (bad memories)
She probably plays the guitar or the bass, but her music is the opposite of his. Hers is the 'smoke sesh' type of slow lofi. Full of hypnotic soothing cards and whisper vocals. Just a politically charged, just as socially concious
She's a lot more spiritual than him, and it's something he has to get used to.
It takes him a bit.
She's ALWAYS burning incense. She'll tuck one behind her air and forget about it, she only wears Earth and jewel tones.
Her house is stacked high with nonfiction books, and she's the only one who can make his cup of tea better than he can - she even got him into green tea. Now he knows what oolong is. What the hell
Sure she makes him take off his boats EVERYTIME he comes over - and was horrified the first time he just walked up in her place with them on - he's still over there all the time.
It's one place he knows he can find calm, or feel safe.
To be honest, she's probably not into his music too much.
She's not into the big crowds and big speakers and drinking at the venues.
She loves hearing HIM play. She doesn't need the bright lights or vocalists or drummers or any of it at all-
Instead she'll just sit on the floor of his boathouse, barefoot and criss cross as she watches him strum away.
And she ADORES when he plays accoustic - something he'll do exclusively for her
The DYNAMIC THE DYNAMIC OKAY
She's not a Spider person. She's a helper in this world too, but she'd rather be a healer than a hero.
It's how she keeps her peace. She's a lot more quiet and soft-spoken than him, but not because she's shy. She's just chilling. Fully committed to never letting no one stress her over NOTHING
Half the time Hobie will be joking or messing or playfully teasing her and she'll be like 'Boy, stop stressing me out.'
And when he's pushed to the edge, full of anger and bitterness and resent at the world, at what they're forced to, by the responsibility he carriers - she's always there to rub circles into his shoulders, putting a record on the player as she fixes them some tea.
He doesn't believe in all that mystic shit, not that much.
The first time he went to her place he raised an eyebrow, asking about her supposed 'rock collection'.
'Those are crystals.'
She explains what they are, and why she keeps them. How she uses them in her spiritual work. He thinks it's a load of bullocks.
Does he actually think this hunk of clear rock is going to 'purify' anything in a world like theirs? NO.
He won't say it, but she can read his vibes like a book.
But she explains that - regardless of all that - most of her crystals were taken from the motherland. And that she's happy having them, it's a way to reclaim a bit of the land they all were taken from.
When he asks what the hell is motherland is she's like
'Africa, Hobie.'
They have some interesting conversations. They were the world VERY VERY differently, but they always see eye-to-eye eventually.
He may not believe in it, but he believes in her.
And when he's at the end of his rope, coming to get place beat to hell and back - and she puts on that incense, the sound of her music hypnotic and sedative - he can't help but feel like he's lost in that world with her.
Hobie believes in anarchy, in all things. He'd love to think that the universe has it all figured out, that everything is in perfect balance as is - but he's not buying it.
And yet sometimes she seems so sure, and so grounded, that he can't help but fall back on her. And she's okay with it, that's what she's there for.
She's happy to exist in silence with him, quietly teaching him the difference between Frankincense and Myrrh incense, the historical uses and how to tell the difference.
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She gives him small gifts if things she's made - Florida Water (the spiritual cologne not literal Florida water 😭) for him to use as protection, a cowrie shell bracelet, herbal tea blends made by hand.
She sews up holes in his vest or suit, humming quietly as he lays on the floor, soul food cooking on the stove
DO YOU FEEL THE VIBES DO YOU DO YOU
He's fire and brimstone and loud guitar solos. She's wind and earth, and meditation sessions. She's not a pacifist and she doesn't judge
Despite being two very different people, who approach life in two very different ways, they still find themselves on the same path of wanting to help people
HOBIE AND A SPIRITUAL SISTA. HOBIE AND A BLACK!HIPPIE!READER. PLEASE. I BEG OF YOU.
LET HOBIE FIND PEACE
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terra-tortoise · 1 year
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Razzledazzle (#87346214) for dtday
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My apologies if I really don’t have much to say about this issue. As enjoyable as these events are, they’re hard-coded into Sonic Unleashed’s narrative and we’ve already waited so long for it to reach its endgame. xD Anyway, Super Sonic is here for the first (and final) time in the post-reboot to combat the eldritch abomination alongside Chip in the Gaia Colossus. Right on time, too! I was wondering when we’d get to the end of this long, long Shattered World arc.
Join me later when we watch Sonic punch a dark god in the face
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ladyelainehilfur · 2 years
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Canon Lily vs the Lily in my HS au fanfic
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lavenderrosiefan · 2 months
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qqueenofhades · 4 months
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what’s rook and rose, do i need to read it
kristen likes book
Kristen. Kristen I am disappoint. How have you possibly missed ALL THE SCREAMING I have done about this before??? Shame. SHAME.
Anyway, this is book one of Rook and Rose:
The other two are The Liar's Knot (book 2) and Labyrinth's Heart (book 3). I waited very impatiently for Labyrinth's Heart (it came out last August) and then descended into a fit of unhinged screaming that had SO many of my followers go "okay I'll read it" and then "oh no." It is an epic fantasy trilogy filled with so many things I love:
Fat Ass Books (each one is 600+ pages);
An incredible and well-built world that's basically Magical Venice (the authors are both anthropologists);
A unique and interesting magic system;
Excellent writing;
Complex political and social intrigue;
GARBAGE DISASTER BISEXUAL MEN (DEROSSI VARGO MY MOST BELOVED) WHO ARE APPROPRIATELY GAGA OVER THEIR TOUGH BADASS LADIES;
Sass!
Costumed vigilante anti-imperial superheroes!
An OT3 which made me lose my ever living mind in steadily less coherent increments, especially during book 3!
The occasional Absolutely Mad Lad plot development that left me wondering wtf had just happened but also enjoying it;
AND SO MUCH MORE!
The end result of all this screaming, apparently, was that unbeknownst to me until this very morning, when they reblogged something from me, I went WAIT A WHOLE ASS SECOND, and then went WAIT WHAT, is that one of the co-authors of the trilogy follows me here on ye olde Tumblr. To which I say: OH NO and also, I REGRET NOTHING.
So yes. Read it. Readdddddd ittttttt. The end.
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Smaugust #11 - Wyrm
Couldn’t do anything other than the doodle noodle in the flesh ^_^
Ko-fi | Commissions
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Shine Brilliant
The stars are aligned, and our fates are aligned as well
I guess it is truly written in the stars, there's no doubt about it
It's truly brilliantly written
We can't escape from it
No matter how we try to outrun it
Our paths will take us on a journey to the North Star
No matter where we are
We'll never be far from one another
We are always be there in each other's hearts
And lastly, don't forget about all of the memories that we have together
Underneath the sparkle of the starlit skies, gazing from afar, knowing that our destinies are going to be interwoven
Gradually embrace the one-sided admiration through millennia
A mind filled with fascination as you depart from the collective
As you began to descend from the starlit glint
Carrying the warmness of being loved and treasured, You were never alone
The melody soothes your uncertainty
A gentle breeze blows over your sad memories
Now, My shimmery little star… SHINE BRILLIANT, Like A Star
Starlight gradually sneaks its way in
The phosphorescence illuminates me
Watches the newly formed hour setting itself in
The night blooms softly illuminating the entire balcony
As it basks in the brilliant starlight
The luminescence becomes more brilliant than ever before
Starlight, Star Bright, The first star I see tonight...
Catching wind of a shooting star
Capturing a glimpse of it
While looking through the lens of the telescope
Being in awe by its twinkly glimmer
Seeing the dazzling glow caught my attention
I ask myself "What does it convey?"
Is this a glimmer of romance? Or is it a beckon of love?
Who knows...
I am just fascinated by it
One star will stay, and Another will fall and find its path...
Your twinkling presence caught my eye
As you descend from the starlit glint Blinding the North as you pass by...
At this moment I want to see you
Even if it was a brief second
I just want to see your face again
Just smiling at me once more
I want to catch a glimpse of you shine brilliantly once more
My shimmery little star… SHINE BRILLIANT, Like A Star
My heart suddenly began to throb in anticipation
As I patiently wait for your dazzly arrival
The only sound I hear is my heart furiously beating
My senses are tingling with excitement
My mind is racing
Thoughts are over the place
Now I'm entering the fight-or-flight mode
My body is on autopilot
Star shine, Star glow, The first star I clasped tonight...
Heading towards that luminous glow
With each step I took
The closer I got, the glow turned into a flare
Overwhelming me with its bright light
Losing track of time, Getting lost in the brilliance of it
Everything seems to be in stagnation
It's so surreal…
Once again, We meet at the North Star
Facing you in the brilliant light of Orion
You embraced me in your enlightenment
Your warm presence ameliorates my loneliness
Knowing that it was only simply my fleeting dream
But damn it feels so good not to be an ephemeral
Feeling your warm lips on mine
I couldn't help but melt in your soothing touch
Your warm touches hit all the right places
To silence all of the suspicions and mistrusts that I have
I want to be in your arms for eternity
Unfortunately, we have eventually to go our separate ways
Always cherish the memories, My shimmery little star…
Now, My shimmery little star... SHINE BRILLIANT, Like A Star
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the-smooth-operator · 2 years
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SCARED TO LOVE
Warnings: gn!reader, age gap, imperfect English (especially punctuation).
Genre: sfw, angst with a smidge of hope at the end.
Pairing: Toshinori Yagi x reader.
Word count: 354.
Summary: Yagi drowns in doubts and sorrows.
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It's bruisingly palpable he's not the same boisterous man from a bright poster he used to be. There's no-one to blame, but the time and the fate. He knows it all too well and yet he doesn't. He's no longer the Symbol of Peace, however the weight of now crushed expectations is still there pinning his hunched tired shoulders lower and lower to the ground. To the grave of his pride and fame.
It's bruisingly palpable he's not the same invicible gutsy hero smiling dazzly from every TV channel he used to be. His now quirklessness and sore body sing in a mocking chorus wounding his unbelievably tenacious spirit. His eyes still shine. Toshinori Yagi doesn't.
It's bruisingly palpable he's not allowed to have these embarrassing feelings toward his young colleague. Young. Oh, they're so young. Yagi can see from afar the brightness of the flames their life fire burn with, can feel its heat with his thin freezing limbs. He knows such fire needs fresh wood, not ashes and smoldering corners.
He can't help letting his heart increase its pace any time he sees them. He can't help chasing their image with hopelessly adoring eyes any time they enter the territory of U.A. High School. He can't help feeling tremendously guilty.
Yagi's never had a family of his own and during his hero era he couldn't consider it an option. Someone like him had no right to make innocent souls targets for a great number of scumbags seeking for any sort of warped pathetic revenge. After all, there were times when he wasn't the pitied one.
It's bruisingly palpable Toshinori Yagi has nothing to offer now. He's not All Might anymore. Some people try to reassure him that he's still as valuable as he was before his retirement. But Yagi knows the truth, although no-one says it without sugar-coating. He's a filthy old cripple. Or so he feels.
"Yunno, I've never been a huge fan of Buff Might. You're way better in your true form, Yagi-san. Seem more like a real human, I guess", they say, and he's suddenly out of breath.
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Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1
Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)
Season 1 Masterlist
Click for vibes
*HOOOO, THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER. 31,000 words, mamacita! we're going straight in with some smut, and may I just say, I am quite proud of it. i was bored, sitting around my uni building, waiting for a VERY boring lecture, so...this...was born. 
Como siempre, mis amigos--as always--if you are too young for the nasty, DO NOT READ THIS. there is also a spicy bit in the middle, and fear not! Ray will also get his fun times soon ;)
also. fun fact that i did not know: cooper barnes (ray irl) was born in the same city as me :0 ...he's secretly english!
Anywho—¡Vamos!
"Taste so fucking good..."
(y/n) dozed peacefully, basking in the morning sun peaking through her curtains. It was early - she didn't know how early, but her foggy brain begged for a few more minutes. 
Dipping in and out of consciousness, she moaned softly, digging her chin into her feathery pillow as her skin warmed and prickled, feeling hazily heavenly. She couldn't remember another time when she'd woken up so peacefully in the morning--when the sanctuary of her bedroom made her feel so good... 
Were the sheets really so soft? Soft enough to make her feel like she was floating? Waves of subtle pleasure rolled through her body, spreading to the tips of her limbs and rolling in the back of her mind as she hugged a corner of the duvet. It was a little strange; for how cosily stifling the room felt, her bare body was exposed, stripped of any covers, making her twitch to pull them over her chest. 
"Such a sweet little thing..." 
She hummed at the whispering voice, swearing she was dreaming as she nuzzled her pillow more, begging her mind to fall asleep. The alarm clock hadn't rang yet, so she rightfully had those few minutes to herself - just her, the massive, soft bed, and whatever that good feeling was. 
She shifted slightly, rolling from her side to her back since her gut told her to. It murmured that she needed to widen her legs a little more, the warmth squeezing her flesh adding praises when she turned to jelly and relaxed. Her body seemed to move on its own like a marionette, utterly exposed, but that was okay - it felt too good to complain. 
A quiet moan fell from her lips, nothing more than a hum, and a curled fist scrubbed over her eyes in tandem with a hot thing. It licked up her leg--like the sheets brushed her inner thigh, making her jerk slightly, but then it was soothed. Heat settled into her core as her arms flopped beside her head, nude breasts heaving and painted in gold from the expansive windows. 
She loved the view, but she loved waking up to it more, squealing slightly as a jolt wracked her tummy. 
"God, you're soaked... Wanna fuckin' drink."
That made her eyebrows twitch; too much of a sensation in her core to be deemed normal. She hadn't had breakfast yet, yet she felt so full, like there was a pit in her empty stomach. The thirst was worse, craving something on her dry tongue as it wrapped around a scratchy whine. 
The fullness came and went - agonisingly slowly - yet left her hungering for more with an insatiable ache. 
It was a puzzle. A whirlwind of conflicting information, no matter how good it felt to lie there and question nothing. She had a scientist's brain, and something--the little grey cells at the back of her mind--said that the sun could never feel this good. 
It didn't treat her so gently, running from her collarbone, loitering on her tit, passing over her stomach and further. Slowly but surely, she came around, wondering if she was clutching at the last slips of a delightful dream when something nipped at her soft flesh before gently kissing somewhere in between. She never wanted to wake up if her mind could conjure such pleasure...
"Fuck, look at how you take me... Another, perhaps, sweet girl?" But the sun certainly didn't speak, and if it did, she doubted it would call her such names when it glowed so dazzlingly. 
Her eyes fluttered open, breaking the illusion of sleep as her senses exploded, noting that it was a bright, sunny day. She'd forgotten to close the drapes, so she rose at dawn. The laundry basket was full, so she'd have to put a load in the washing machine. Schwoz had texted her, so she'd have to see what the fuzzy little weirdo wanted. She could even see a V-shaped flock of birds flying past the mountain, telling her that a new day had begun. 
It was all very typical in the daily life superheroine, but something was missing. There were no arms around her waist, no warm lump for her leg to hook over, no nook to tuck her nose, and certainly no soft snores in her ear. No doofus. No Ray. 
So, what was that...good feeling?
Picking her heavy head up from the pillow, chin pressed into her clavicle in a very flattering position, she quirked an eyebrow at the thatch of chocolate hair poking from between her thighs. All she could see were two reddened ears peeking through the floof - no eyes, nose, or mouth. But goddamn, could she feel them...
"Doofus?..." she mumbled, watching his feverish bobbing through bleary eyes once she realised where he'd sneakily disappeared. 
"Yeah?" Ray asked casually, glancing up for the first time in an hour like it was the most natural thing in the world, regardless of whether his chin was slick from the mess at the apex of her thighs. 
His eyes were wide and innocent as if she'd interrupted a good book or TV show--as if he hadn't slipped under the duvet after waking up early, throwing it off their blazing bodies when he decided to have a little one-on-one time. Just him and his best girl, reacquainting each other while his wife got the sleep she deserved. 
"What are you doing?" 
"I was hungry..." he replied with a shrug, slightly muffled since he refused to remove his lips from her slick lips, licking lightly as she sighed. 
"Oh, God..." (y/n) gasped, not knowing if she was frustrated from how he woke her up to such an overwhelming feeling or if his tongue truly felt that good. 
Everything was so blurry, lines between reality and dreamland crossing until that scientist's brain couldn't make heads or tails of the world, but one thing was for sure - the pleasure was intense. Stronger than usual, wildly when he flicked her clit lightly. She cried out, her hand sluggishly finding his hair as he groaned at the sweetness pooling on his tastebuds. 
"So..." he continued, briefly pulling away to swallow and take a breather, "I cashed in a coupon."
"At six-thirty in the morning?" His wife retorted dryly, glancing at the clock to see that it was another early start because he thought with his cock, not his brain. She relaxed into the mattress, keeping her legs spread for him to resume his languid explorations, lapping at her fluttering hole. 
Whenever he wanted more to drink, he slid two fingers inside, surprising her at the little resistance and the wetness pouring out of her. He eagerly collected every drop on his tongue, groaning at the honeyed taste, and it made her think he'd been at it for a while, fucking her gently until her mind caught up with her trembling body. 
Those goddamn coupons, wrapped in several T-shirts and tucked into his suitcase for their flight home from Hawaii; Ray refused to leave them to go dusty on a shelf. No, he'd only used a handful and was eagerly waiting to cash them, not that he needed any more inspiration for their sex life. 
"Whenever, wherever you said," the man noted, having etched her promise onto his frontal lobe so they never stopped using them. He suckled on her clit, obsessed with how he could crook his fingers and make her writhe - his very own puppet - but it was the nectar he was after. 
A man couldn't live more than three days without climbing between her thighs, and he'd been quiet about it, settling below her without so much as a sound or accident. She slept longer than he had - who was his sweet girl to grumble?
"Okay, okay. But which one was it? The one where I can't sleep in?" (y/n) pouted moodily, yet didn't push him away. Her hand remained on his crown, encouraging him to keep doing whatever that thing was with his tongue as she brought the other to her breast, holding it gently, tweaking her nipple like he would if he wasn't busy. 
"No...overstimulation." The deep growl made her shudder, heightened by her fingers' sensation. He said it so casually, resuming his work like it was nothing, squeezing her thigh as he quickly picked up the pace. His digits plunged her cunt further, hungry for more now that she was awake and tempting him with her breathless moans and bratty remarks--fuck, her fingers in his hair. 
Seeing her sleeping and writhing was one thing - so fucking hot. She mewled in her sleep, bucked her hips like she was dreaming of having him in her pussy while he sucked the juices out of her, but nothing compared to how she called his name. His precious wife moaned his name under her breath when he slowly slid his thick ring finger inside her, bumping the cool metal against her folds as hers glinted in the sunlight. 
He could only imagine what raced through her mind as he flexed against the mattress. Still, he liked to think she dreamed of him above her, legs around his waist, nails digging into his back, and a Hawaiian sunset outside. He hoped to give her the same satisfaction in her imagination as he did now, grinding his weeping cock into the fitted sheet like he was back at the beach with her. 
That's how he got the idea for the coupons. Yet to see all that in real life, waking up with glowing skin and her half-lidded eyes, ordering him to service her like only she could - a man could go feral. 
"Overstimulation?" (y/n) gasped, whimpering when he squeezed her thigh a little tighter, too caught up in his thoughts to realise how she'd been toying with her tits and tugging on his scalp. 
"Yeah. A breakfast coupon, so I can get my fill of this pretty pussy," Ray smirked, licking his upper lip while calmly releasing her leg to reach for her smooth breast. He'd never lie to her, utterly besotted and softening as he felt its weight resting against his palm, thumb brushing over her nipple. 
His darling wife mewled and dropped her head back as the movement worked in tandem with his fingers, loudly fucking her needy cunt. He couldn't wait to fuck her out of her mind, having had much experience giving her two, three, or even four orgasms a night. But how many was her limit? How far could he go until she screamed, her throat raw, soaking the sheets? 
He wanted to find out--for science. Definitely for science. And maybe just to see his beloved wife fucked-out, wrecked, sweating, and jelly-like in their bed. 
"And I must say she knows how to feed a guy."
"Is that so?" (y/n) replied as calmly as she could muster, with his forearm jerking faster, plunging in and out between her thighs. She tried to keep her voice level, core clenching at the thought of him milking her for all she had. It sounded like a challenge, and Captain Man never backed down from those, camping with his mouth ready to collect as she squirmed. 
She felt it again--the sensitivity. Her head flinched to the side, cheek pressed into the pillow when the butt of his palm rubbed her clit, sending sparks along her spine. She never usually came so quickly, nor did it feel so intense, but Ray got her there, briefly leaning up to peck her neck, jaw, and lips as his leaking cock brushed her thigh. 
Fuck, she wanted it. 
"Yep! Made you cum twice before I even saw those gorgeous eyes of yours. That has to be a new record!" He gloated happily like he'd come first in a school race or beaten the smartest kid in class in a math test. She choked at the news, suddenly knowing why her cunt clenched so readily--why it wasn't gentle like a ripple in a pond as usual. 
He brought her to her third orgasm, having ripped the first two from her body while she dozed in the pleasure. No wonder she felt so good, lying there, letting him have his merry way as she came and came, giving him the honey he so desperately wanted while she twitched in her sleep. And it wasn't even seven AM yet...
"Raymond, I'm--I'm not a--a fucking Nintendo..." she gasped indignantly, hips jerking as he worked to bring her to completion again, remembering how she came so prettily for him earlier. But for someone so talkative, she arched her back and rocked her hips into his hand, pulling his face further into her pussy, among him smirk. Needy little girl.
Even in her sleep, she responded to his touch only, cumming with only a quick finger and kiss on her clit. He loved it, leaving her breast alone to sling a heavy arm over her stomach so he could savour the third. 
"But sweet girl...I play with you so well..." he remarked gently but oh-so cockily, mouth wide open with his tongue out and ready to catch her slick when she climaxed again. It wrung her out, a wave of intense pleasure erupting through her stomach as he groaned and slurped, loving how her slick spread to his wrist. 
She fought against his hold, gasping and swearing to God as his muscular arm kept her near his mouth, growling that he wasn't fucking finished drinking yet. He swallowed his fill, promising he could die then and there and go to his reward without regret, save that he didn't get to have one last drop. 
His fingers didn't slow, not even when she jerked and cried, shouting that it was too much, too soon, too fast, but he worked her through the sensitivity. Tears clung to her eyelashes, but she looked so damn pretty, eventually loosening her iron grip on his forearm when the painful sensitivity became burning pleasure--hotter than before. 
"Fuck--doofus--fuck me now?" She asked weakly, thinking she'd just about survive combustion if she had him inside her, craving the stretch of his thick cock carving her walls apart. His pace was torture, but she couldn't tell him to stop, suddenly feeling another climax in her stomach, slowly and steeply building. 
She rarely got four in one night - although it wasn't unheard of. For all his selfishness, Ray was a giver at heart, grinning into her folds as he slurped and sucked around his fingers, knowing he could beat his personal best. Usually, he paced her, spreading them out throughout the day or giving her breaks in between. 
But no; today, he wanted to truly break her--and it would be by his hand, even if his cock wept against the mattress. 
Unhurriedly and gently, he kissed her clit, murmuring praises to his second favourite girl as she provided such refreshment. His hips bucked when his wife moaned, thrashing wildly at the lewd sounds coming from her mouth and soaked pussy, unknowing if she wanted to cum again or push him away. But her arms were like noodles, limply resting by her side or on his head, taking without complaint, except that she wanted more. 
"You'll cum on my fingers and love it, pretty girl. I'm not fucking you," the man told her firmly, slapping her meaty thigh as (y/n) through her head back, whining childishly. It was so unlike her, but the thought of such a denial made her cry more than the bittersweet relief, wriggling her hips and stomping her foot into the springs in a small temper tantrum. 
"Pleeeeaaaseee? So fucking wet--just slide right in..."
Another slap landed on her flesh, tearing a choked moan from her swollen lips when her lover yanked his fingers from her tight hole at lightning speed, bringing them down on her abused cunt. Her entire body jerked, shocked by a jolt of violent pleasure surging from her clit and the sudden change as he reentered her body before he lost her fourth orgasm. 
"True..." he remarked smugly, drawing circles with the tip of his tongue as he settled down again, broad shoulders keeping her pinned legs spread for his feast. He wouldn't have any brattiness, crystal eyes glaring over the curve of her tummy as a warning - his coupon, his rules. 
It was like he'd never left, resuming his frenzied pace as she tugged on his brown hair, tears pooling in her ears as he chuckled. That tantrum didn't last long, her body melting into the bed to take whatever the fuck he gave her--and she'd be grateful. His cock would be nice, but having his pursed lips create a vacuum around her clit and his finger knuckle-deep in her pussy was good enough. 
"Shit, you were made for this, weren't you?" Ray groaned, prodding a third finger at her entrance as she began to mellow, so slick his fingers barely provided any sweet friction. A wail left her as the extra digit slid in without issue, stretching her walls perfectly and coaxing more wetness onto his tongue. 
He marvelled at how she accommodated him when he leaned back to pant and admired her precious centre, velvet clinging to his hand, pulling him in. So fucking needy...she was so innocent and demure, outwardly pretending she was above such debauchery. Yet, she took half his hand like it was nothing, sobbing filth into her palm as a soft sheen dappled her skin. 
"Mm-hmm... So, fuck me. Fuck your wife," she challenged, rocking her hips toward him suggestively--daring him to say to hell with it all and use her pussy in its rawest form. And she knew his most profound weakness--of course, she did. 
His eyes clouded further - if possible - as she weakly cupped his cheek, ensuring she pressed her fourth finger into his skin so he could feel the smooth pinkish gold of her warmed ring. If their honeymoon taught her anything, he got off on his wife--how she was tied to him forever. Their vows, the intimacy, the domesticity, the idea of being a family made her husband feral. 
Ray would be a liar if he said he didn't think about it because who was he to ignore his wife's demands? He lived to serve her, and if she wanted his cock, she could have it--God knows he was aching to slip in, pound and paint her walls until it stuck. But before that, he just wanted to try something...
"Now, now, darlin'. How am I supposed to drink every last drop if I'm not down here waiting for it? 'M not wasting anything."
He grinned, sucking on one of her folds, pulling it into his mouth and nibbling--just to hear her squeal for his sadistic satisfaction. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, y'know..."
"You're such a d-dork," (y/n) gulped, continuously licking her lips between gulps of air, not needing to look to know he was laughing at his joke. The vibrations rolled with his tongue, lodging a groan in her throat, making her feet hover next to his ears--it almost felt too good. 
"I could stop if you want..."
"Fuck--don't you dare!" She growled, eyes breaking open when she frowned, too close now to stop. It would be fucking cruel to deprive her as she hung over the edge, waiting to topple over on his command--when his fingers hit that special spot again. 
They flexed inside her again, rotating slightly at a different angle as Ray beamed and pulled one leg over her shoulder. He didn't care if it ached, leaning it back to press his face into his happy place, unbothered if it funnily squished his nose. This oasis was heaven for a parched, six-foot-something, doofy man. 
"That's my girl." He smiled, returning to affectionately kiss and nuzzle her clit. As if he could leave such a treasure without giving her a little sugar, hand blurring as it mercilessly plunged into her pussy, sensing the first ripples of her end. "How close are you?"
"So fucking close--shit, I--I can't cum again, Ray--" she gasped, head jolting from side to side as her stomach clenched and spasmed, becoming impossibly tight. 
How could she forget who he was? Captain Man had a learned speed, moving faster than most and with such power. He relentlessly milked her for his benefit, getting off on her orgasms more than she did, but she didn't care. His heavy arm kept her still, allowing him space and time to curl those three fingers inside her as his hips shuffled against the mattress, rocking the bed. 
"Yes, you can," he groaned, forcing himself to keep his eyes open even as he fucked the bedsheets, pretending they were her cunt wrapped around him. "Give it to me, sweet girl. I want it...feel it coming." 
It hit her like a freight train, slamming hard enough to make her howl and scream at his word--like she'd ever cum without permission. Always his good girl. Her fists tightened, nearly shredding whatever cotton she could grab as he laughed into her pussy, delighted by the slobbery mess on his tongue, gulping everything down, shaking his flexing muscles through her walls. 
He briefly removed his fingers to lap at the source, humping the air when a gush streamed into his mouth, imprinting on his memory forever. Two fingers parted her lips, inspecting her quivering hole, remarking he could fuck her now, and she'd still fit like a second skin. But he wouldn't, staying on his stomach as his dark gaze studied his perfect wife - and the mess she'd made. 
"Too fucking good to me, sweet girl..." Ray praised her, pulling away momentarily to smooch her inner thigh and regain his breath. Her skin glowed in the morning light, sticky and searingly hot, but she looked beautiful, even if she could barely open her eyes. He loved her like this, too weak and tired to do anything, and it gave him the job he craved more than anything - to be the one who cared for her in this most vulnerable state. 
"And, goddamn, so sweet you are..." His arm stretched over her body until his fingertips brushed her lips, smearing her slick around them. Her mouth dropped open feebly, moaning softly when they pushed inside to share what gave him the fucking will to live before he pulled them away. 
Perhaps it made him greedy, but he wanted every drop to himself, licking at the trickle that ran down his wrist and forearm, sucking on each finger down to the last knuckle until his hand was clean. Four was a lot, yet as his beloved wife lay there, breathless, exhausted, and beautiful, a dastardly idea came into his mind. 
"...One more," he declared quietly, and much to (y/n)'s shock, gasping loudly, his fingers slipped into her cunt once more. 
She swore she couldn't do it three fingers full, again, and more sensitive than she'd ever been, an overwhelming pressure bubbling in her belly as he slowly pumped in and out. A single kiss was placed on her pubic mound, his head lazily resting on her shaking thigh as he toyed with her--as if he was experimenting, rubbing her clit like a kid who--couldn't--stop--touching--
"No, no--no, Ray, I can't--"
"Let me try, sweet girl. Come on, one last time..." he murmured, using his most soothing, velvetiest voice to ease her worries because he knew her limits. He knew when she'd had enough. He knew when to back off. She could leave that to him, and he'd take care of her. Always had, always would, so he curled his digits and renewed his efforts, going deeper and harder than before, if not as fast. 
A strangled shriek left her, shattering the peace of the early hours as a pillow soared through the air, landing halfway across the room. She thrashed, kicked, and screamed, pounding her fists beside his head before roughly yanking at his hair, nearly pulling out clumps. 
This was too good, feeling like a rocket was about to burst through her tummy, a different kind of pressure quivering in her core. Honestly, it frightened her a little. Something felt off - not a bad off, but it had never happened before, making her think something was wrong as her walls convulsed like crazy, untying a knot she didn't know was there. 
"Wait, Ray--I--I'm not--I'm gonna---fuck!" Before she could say anything else, push him away, or work out what had happened, the world went black - the only thing in her eyesight was a tiny white pinprick like when she turned off her grandma's TV. 
The last thing she heard was Ray's groan; it sounded like he was underwater as her body went limp, falling into the deepest, most comfortable sleep of her life in what could've been an eternity for all she knew. 
Between her thighs, the man fucked her through the hottest thing he'd seen in his life, mouth wide open, tongue arched over his bottom lip when she gushed onto his hand. Not a droplet, a trickle, or even a wave, but a waterfall of sickly sweet liquid dousing his face's lower half in what had to be more than a mouthful. It didn't stop, pouring out of her in jets, thoroughly soaking the bed below her, and (y/n) didn't even know. 
She'd fucking squirted. And it was hot. 
"Oh, fuuuuuuuck--" Ray sang his praises as he slurped whatever he could get, thinking that if sipping on her cunt was heaven, this was nirvana. He wished he'd recorded it, wanting to replay the moment over and over again when, to his utter surprise, she came out of nowhere, and the fifth time was the charm. 
In all his born days, he'd never made anyone squirt, for all his experience and past lovers, believing it was a pornographic myth, so to see his sweet girl turning into his personal fucking fountain...he'd never recover. It ruined him - honestly, truly, completely wrecked him, leaving the mighty hero gasping and pussy-drunk against the sheets as she lay there - seemingly lifeless, yet glowing. 
It took a moment to catch up with reality, swallowing and swallowing and swallowing without thought until he realised that his precious wife was motionless. Head back, arms bent beside her ears at an awkward angle, mouth propped open from that final scream. Thanks to his godly prowess, she was out for the count, dozing better than any sleeping pills could ever provide. 
"Sweet girl?" Ray called out gently, stroking and squeezing her thigh as he waited for a response. Nothing, not even a flutter of her eyelashes in recognition. 
"Pretty girl?" He tried again, gulping the honey on his tongue to speak louder, but still, she didn't move. 
"(y/n)?" This time, it was more like a whimper as he crawled up her body, careful not to trample her noodley limbs. Hovering over her body, his frame supported by a beefy pillar beside her temple, his knuckles dragged down her cheek, catching on her tacky skin, but he didn't notice. 
All he cared about was that he'd fucked his wife unconscious--perhaps fucked her too well. He kissed her forehead, bottom lip wobbling, tears lining his lashes when she didn't respond, and guilt pooled in his stomach. He'd wanted that last one--wanted to smash his record of getting five orgasms under his belt in less than an hour, but he'd gone too far. 
The only consolation was that he'd married a strong woman. A capable woman. A woman with super-regeneration, so he didn't lose himself in panic, streaking down the hall to get help. The last thing he wanted was to go find Schwoz and tell him that he accidentally broke his wife after fingering her too much. It would break his handyman, too. 
He'd never get over the shame, so he padded off to the bathroom, ensuring he left her comfortable with the quilt pulled up to her chin lest she get cold. Quickly soaking a rag in cold water and filling a small glass, he returned and left them on the bedside table before tucking himself into her side. 
Like a lost child, he nuzzled into her chest, chastely pecking the curve of her breast as he gazed up at her. Now, it was just a waiting game, endlessly praying that she'd wake up soon as he stiffened like a sardine. It didn't matter if they lay in grimy sheets, tired and dehydrated; he had to see those pretty eyes to put his mind at ease. 
So, he waited, and waited..until fifteen minutes had passed, never once moving or leaving his place by her side. 
"D--doofus?" A croaky voice creaked as its owner sank into the land of the living again, feeling like she'd been hit by a bus. 
(y/n) woke with a thudding in her core, heart, and head, yet for all her heaviness and exhaustion, she felt strangely...complete. Like an emptiness had been filled, soothing any complaint she had, and that's when it came flooding back to her. Rough fingers, deep growls, a pleasurable fullness as a brief torrent ravaged her thighs - a mythical sensation. 
"(y/n)?" Ray gasped, eyes darting up from where he'd been re-memorising every bump, freckle, dimple, stretch mark, and inch of cellulite on her body. To his delight, he saw a crinkled smile staring back, warming his heart when he realised that his precious wife had woken up - exhausted and delirious, but she was awake. At long last. 
He leapt onto his elbow, pulling the comforter entirely off her body, so he could check for injuries or some shit--like he'd just lay there and let her hurt. She was fine, reaching up to stroke her fingers through his bed-head, her arm aching like all hell. 
"You know I don't like it when you call me that... Sounds weird," the woman joked, nose wrinkling at how serious he sounded, unlike the carefree, lovable idiot she'd married. She didn't know what had happened, but she was sure it didn't warrant her yucky given name; she was too used to all those sickly pet names. 
"Shit, sorry, sweet girl, but you scared me."
"How?" She frowned, leaving his hair alone to thread her fingers through his, holding his hand since he clearly needed it. They were together in their bedroom, wrapped up in a post-orgasmic glow, so to see him trembling and on the verge of tears nearly made her cry in sympathy. Her poor doofus - he looked like a kicked puppy...
"Passing out on me like that. Thought I'd...broken my wife," he confessed quietly, pulling her wrist to his mouth so he could smooch her pulse point loudly--just glad that it still thrummed under his lips. 
He'd genuinely been afraid for a second, hearing her heartbeat but seeing no other signs of life, meaning those fifteen minutes were the longest of his life. What would he do without her? Knowing that he'd hurt her, even in the throes of passion, killed him and cut into his soul a little bit, but as he subconsciously drifted away, (y/n) pulled him back in. 
She pressed their bodies together, enjoying his bare skin on hers as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a long, slow, passionate kiss. While a little timid at first, Ray soon groaned into her mouth, submitting himself for her pleasure as she ran her tongue along the seam of his lips. Now, this felt good...
"What happened? I remember having the best damn orgasm of my life, and then everything went black." She glanced away briefly, hearing nothing but their ragged breaths once they pulled away, tentative but as intimate as always. 
"You ever squirted before, darlin'?" He asked quietly, smoothing his hand over her curves as her eyebrows knitted together. 
It almost made her recoil, putting something like that down to the job of a...night flower or someone similar. Of course, she'd read about it, but then again, it was confined to the trashy women's magazines, something her limited previous partners never had the talent or interest to achieve. 
"No..."
"Well, it's fucking hot." His boyish grin said everything, and her mouth dropped open, much like he had done, when she felt the wetness between her thighs, under her ass, seeped into the sheets. 
Fuck, she'd have to put them in with the next laundry load, but under his proud gaze, there was no room to be ashamed. It felt like an accomplishment, especially when she caught the slight sheen on his chin and chest, which certainly wasn't sweat. So, that would explain the peculiar but not unwelcome taste she'd found when kissing him. 
"Safe to say I won't need coffee after drinking from you this morning."
"That's...oddly sweet," the woman giggled, tilting her head back when her husband kissed her cheek and jaw, utterly besotted with the walking pin-up he'd scored. Of all the girls he'd loved before, and there'd been many, no one compared to her, not when she held him in her arms like he was born to be there. 
"Not half as sweet as you."
"Someone's trying to get lucky..." she teased, holding his face to her neck, enjoying the ticklish sensation when it dawned on her. She'd cum five times, but Ray? He'd not cum once, and that seemed highly unfair. 
"I can't feel my legs, but I'll suck your cock, doofus. Let you cum down my throat..."
"Um...that's okay." 
Four-Oh-Four, (y/n) not found. She blinked in surprise when her doofus, the world's horniest man, the man who seduced her and had her in his bed on their second day of dating, the man who fucked her every morning without fail, the man who'd just fingered her unconscious...had refused a blowjob. It just didn't make sense. 
He lived to see her on her knees. He'd die to have his tongue wrapped around his cock while he lied back and guided her movements. If he couldn't fill her pussy, she could be damn sure he'd drink every last drop. 
He just wasn't the type of guy to decline her eager affection, and it made her mad? Concerned? Offended? Disappointed? Maybe a mix of all four. 
"Okay, are you broken?" She blinked, gently pulling back on his hair until she saw his bashful expression. "'Cause I just offered to suck you off, and you turned it down. Are you even my doofus?"
"Yeah...I'm yours," Ray quickly nodded, strangely too shy to meet her eye. Still, he revelled in her love, not embarrassed to rub his cheek against her shoulder affectionately as he cast his gaze downward. "But, I, uh...took care of it."
(y/n) followed his stare, going down their bodies as he shuffled back a bit, revealing a distinct wet patch on the bed, and this time, it wasn't from her. 
She knew what she saw: a thick, pearly, sticky liquid clinging to the fitted sheet, right where he'd been jerking his cock to her quivering and moaning. His cock was flaccid, untouched yet fulfilled, with the slightest smear of cum on his inner thigh, but really, his pinks ears and cheeks gave it away. 
"Oh." Was all she said, blankly meeting his eyes again as her face warmed too, although hers was more from the power surge. Pride bloomed in her chest, feeling like she should shout from the rooftops that she'd made the great Captain Man cum early without touching his dick - the guy who could fuck for hours and still hold his nerve. Talk about pussy power - hers was fucking magical.
"Yeah," the man shrugged, slightly embarrassed when she chuckled, but it was worth it when she returned to dotting kisses over his face, placing a final one on the tip of his nose. 
If anything, she was flattered, knowing they had two mattress protectors underneath them for a reason. It was so he could flex his coupons all he wanted, and her honeymoon plan had worked; that had to be one of the steamiest sessions of their lives. 
"Guess it was hot, huh?" She smiled, closing her eyes when his head fell to the crook of her neck. They'd rest for a bit longer, just until their alarm clocks rang, and then some more. 
"Sweet girl...you have no idea."
~Swellview Academy for the Gifted~
It was another school day. A new morning, new lessons, and more wisdom for Ray and his sweet girl to impart to their young and impressionable pupils. 
To start things off nicely, (y/n) had planned a test for Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa - nothing huge, just a few notes to ensure they remembered the curriculum. It should've been easy, but nothing was ever straightforward in SWAG, which she and her doofus quickly learned when they gathered around in the classroom, ready to explain what the kids had to do. 
The couple stood at the front of the classroom, waiting for their students to settle down, but that was easier said than done. They watched tiredly, pacing slightly whilst Ray tapped a baseball bat against his palm as the kids rolled around on gym balls. It was funny seeing how they boinged around on their butts and tummies. Still, it was also pathetic, given that four soon-to-be professional heroes were currently being bested by some big bouncy balls. 
"Doofus?"
"Yeah, darlin'?" Ray hummed as he frowned at the ridiculous sight of pupils, turning to wrap an arm around her shoulders and brush his lips against her forehead. 
"You look handsome today..." (y/n) cooed as she raked a hand down his front, feeling his stiff muscles under her fingers. 
He smiled at that, feeling his core clench at her touch and flirty tone, glad he had something to make him happy since his team was failing so miserably. Her eyes couldn't leave his body, thinking he looked unbelievably hot in his tight T-shirt, a simple thing, yet it made her thirsty like they hadn't...all week. For some reason, she felt extra touchy today, making even his grumpiness seem hot. 
"I don't look handsome every day?" He flirted back, trailing his hand down her arm as she gave him what Henry always called her "goo-goo eyes". God, how many times he had to leave the room because he saw that look...
"Of course, but..." she trailed off, not-so-subtly glancing from his lips to his belt buckle as Ray pushed his chest out. Admittedly, they'd gotten out of bed a little earlier than morning to set up this test, so affection was few and far between, but, usually, he was the flirtatious one, not that he was complaining. 
"Are we doing anything after this class?"
"I don't think so..." he grinned, catching her drift when she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, even as the kids flailed and groaned. She was unusually needy, knowing it had been a long few weeks, with opportunities for alone time few and far between. It wasn't easy for lie-ins when four kids were pounding on the door at eight-thirty every morning. 
"Why do you wanna f--"
"Ah!" His lips, curled in a smirk at first, twisted into a frown when a familiarly scarlet bolt of electricity zipped past (y/n)'s body, narrowly missing her arm if it wasn't for the pearlescent glow in her eyes. 
Sensing danger before it hit, she bowed her back and arched into her husband to avoid getting hurt. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her pressed against his rugged chest as he glared at Chapa, who obviously didn't mean to fry her teacher. Still, she couldn't control a little current escaping her fingers as she stretched over the squishy ball. 
Retirement didn't sound so bad right now - what did a man have to do to get a moment's peace to flirt with his wife?
"All right, that's enough!" Ray growled, turning off a digital timer on the board since the test was now useless. Everything was ruined, and hearing (y/n)'s little gasp when she dodged the jolt was the last straw. He really was Mr. Grumpy Pants today...
"How'd we do?" Bose asked breathlessly as they stopped wriggling around, although Chapa flopped onto the floor with a grunt. The couple looked at them with a cringing disdain, wondering where they went so wrong because this was just the beginning - so very simple. 
"Poorly!" the hero replied gruffly, which wasn't the best thing for poor Mike to hear. She wasn't one to fail tests, something (y/n) related to, and instantly felt uncomfortable knowing they'd fail because she needed academic success as personal validation.
"Can we practice tonight and retake this test tomorrow?" She begged, appealing to the heroine's kindness and mercy since she knew that if anyone could master the art of bouncy-ball-sitting, it was her. Smashing the competition was what she did. 
"This wasn't even the test! We just thought it would be fun if you guys sat bouncing for a while!" (y/n) sighed and scrubbed her face with an open palm, feeling her lust fade away, wondering where her instructions went so wrong. Of course, she'd planned something much more complicated to test their heroic abilities - what would bouncy balls do?
"Why don't you sit bouncing if you think it's so easy?" Chapa sneered, feeling humiliated that she'd bellyflopped the floor after floundering like a fish. And all because they wanted to have fun? She laughed at that, giving the adults her usual sulky pout. 
But Ray -shockingly- didn't rise to her challenge, scrunching his nose before pulling the remote control from his pocket. He blasted each gym ball, turning them to ash and cinder so the kids fell against the tiles again now that the fun was over. He was such a killjoy but didn't dwell on their failure, waltzing to the lectern to begin his lecture, yet not realising how his wife watched his every move with catlike eyes. 
"The real test is about to begin..." he revealed, and they quickly got to their feet, eager to please if he gave them the chance. 
"Okay, who can tell us the easiest crime to commit?" (y/n) asked, rubbing elbows with her doofus, the slightest touch making her tummy flutter. She wasn't usually so needy, but there was something about him today... But she had to focus on her teaching, giving the children one of her bright, warm smiles to show them that she didn't care if they got it wrong - she just wanted their best. 
"Jaywalking!" 
"Jay-dancing!" Mike and Bose suggested with rapid-fire enthusiasm. Chapa, however, wasn't so chirpy, standing there with her arms crossed as Miles took his time--like always. 
"Stealing my phone!"
"White-collar crime. Rarely prosecuted," the boy retorted, knowing a strange amount of real-world issues for someone so young. His voice was so dry, but he was confident, knowing he was correct even if they weren't expecting it. 
"You're all wrong--except for Miles," (y/n) grinned, feeling like she was genuinely imparting her knowledge, and the boy nodded smugly. 
"No, we're talking about a crime that's so easy, it's like taking candy from a baby--" Ray grinned sneakily, a strange glint in his eye as he teased the group, refusing to tell them what he had planned. While his sweet girl covered the learning side, he liked to make things fun, often roping his faithful handyman into his schemes since he'd never do anything humiliating himself. So, right on cue...
"SCHWOZ!" He yelled, looking at the room at the back of the classroom, where someone could take the stairs to the Man's Nest if they wanted to. The genius skipped into the room with a moody expression gracing his face as he briskly passed the children, looking like he was regretting his life choices. 
And why wouldn't he? Per his boss' instructions, he wore a ridiculously garish onesie instead of his overalls, looking stupid with the puppy-print fabric tucked into his work boots and a giant rainbow lollipop in his fist. He felt silly, hearing the giggles around the room as he twirled before standing still, acting like an infant just because Ray threatened to fire him if he didn't comply. It wasn't fair, but he needed this job...
"I am Baby. I loves me lolly, and I hope no one takes from me..." he said bitterly, glaring at the couple across the room--at Ray because he forced him to do this, and (y/n) because she tried and failed to hide her laughs. She chuckled into her hand, thinking he was the fuzziest, cutest, yet weirdest baby she'd ever seen, and he wasn't impressed.
"So, you want us to stop you from taking candy from a baby?" Mika asked, understanding what Ray meant now that she saw Schwoz, and (y/n) nodded. 
"Oh, not us! My sweet girl would never hurt a baby, and I'm far too good a person for that," the man replied innocently, making his wife roll her eyes because she knew of his lesson plan. It was strange and wacky but totally Ray, and whilst schwoz wasn't happy with being roped into his schemes, he couldn't wait to impart his knowledge. 
"You're stopping..." he paused, turning away from the kids and bending over, swiftly rubbing his fingers through his hair and pressing something sticky on his upper lip before turning around again.
"ROY!" The man declared, spinning around to glare at the puzzled team with a crazed look in his eye, looking deranged with his hair all mused and a fake moustache plastered under his nose. Ray--or Roy as he called himself--sneered at the kids, who didn't understand what he was playing at when he crept around the mini-stage, much to his sweet girl's exasperation. Most schools weren't like this...
"Roy?" Miles frowned with his eyebrows knitted together.
"It's Ray but evil..." (y/n) explained tiredly, nudging her doofus in the ribs when he tried to stick his face near hers, grunting like a weirdo as he acted as this...character. 
"And I hope he no takes me lolly!" Schwoz whimpered fakely, pretending to be scared as he wiggled the candy in his slightly sticky hand. Honestly, he wasn't paid enough for this. 
"Oh, Roy's takin' that lolly...unless somebody...stops me," Ray growled in his adenoidal voice before creeping forward like some kind of Scooby Doo character--all exaggerated with his crooked fingers and giant steps. The kids didn't need to be told twice, readying themselves for the mentor's bizarre challenge. Chapa stepped up first, sliding in front of Ray, determined to prove herself after so many weeks of failing with her electricity. 
"Get zapped!" She hissed, immediately thrusting her arms forward to release some sparks, but still, her aim was terrible. Whilst she could conjure her power, when it burst forth from her fingertips, it whizzed past Ray's body, going wide and forcing (y/n) to hop the sidelines with a yelp. The man smirked smugly, standing like a statue as the girl desperately tried to hit him. Still, he didn't even need to try and protect himself - she couldn't even hit a stationary target. 
"No!"
"Okay, maybe not--maybe this one!" Chapa grunted, trying again with her other hand, releasing a small fork of lightning that barely brushed his ear. Even if she aimed correctly, it wasn't exactly a bolt from the heavens, just a tickle to sting the skin and make someone jump. 
"Miss!"
"This one! Stop--stop dodging!" Her open palm shot a bolt toward the ceiling, and the more she tried to zap that smirk off his face, the more Chapa grew frustrated. Her aim grew worse, blasting everything but Ray as he chuckled, so she swore he was cheating, swaying out of her range before her electricity could land. 
"Didn't even have to dodge. Roy don't dodge!" Ray retorted, loudly whispering to the kids and winking at his sweet girl like it was a secret. (y/n) suppressed her smile as Mika, Bose, and Miles rolled their eyes, rooting for their friends more than their cocky teacher.  
Even though it was a little mean to taunt her, he wasn't wrong, standing in the same old spot as she kept sparking, only to release a bolt that ricocheted off the smartboard and zipped back toward her body. It shot past her head and hit poor Schwoz in the eye, making Baby whine as he clutched his face, wondering what he did to deserve such rough treatment. 
"Dang it!" Chapa growled, scolding herself for failing the test since she obviously had. She wasn't an expert at this rescue thing yet, but she was pretty confident that shooting the vulnerable victim wasn't heroic. 
"You failed to stop Roy--next!" Ray announced with a tiny dab, thinking he was so hip and down with the kids with the dance moves he'd seen on Twitflash. After Chapa sulkily returned to the lineup, Bose skipped into the middle, not knowing what was happening. Still, he'd give it his best shot--and all with his usual innocently sweet smile. 
"Did it get a little cloudy in here? 'Cause I think a Brainstorm's a-brewing!" He quipped, proud of himself for thinking of something so witty since Ray liked it when they said cool things before attacking. As much as he wanted them to be swift and efficient, he loved a little flare, appreciating the clever wordplay from a kid typically so dense. 
"Ooh, sick entrance line. Roy approves! Let's see how you do with the execyoosh!" Ray cackled, sneaking back onto the lecturing stage as Bose prepared himself. 
Like always, he pressed two fingers against his temples and outstretched the other hand, aiming to lift Ray's baseball bat with his telekinesis. For something made of light yet durable aluminium, the boy made it look impossible, grunting and straining as his curled hand attempted to raise what felt more like a boulder than a bat. It moved a little, sliding across the floor limply as Ray stared at it blankly, knowing the boy's plan would be too obvious if he was a villain. 
"How is that supposed to stop Roy?" He asked thickly, throwing the kid a bored expression when the baseball bat floated horizontally, shaking terribly as Bose struggled to concentrate. 
"Whack him, Bose!" Mika encouraged him excitedly, hoping he'd manage to hit the hero and end his smugness. 
He groaned again, feeling like his brain was about to explode as he crooked a finger, commanding the bat to move slightly, picturing a cartoonish image of a crook getting beaten over the head with a bat. However, his wasn't precisely a damning blow--more like a gentle pat as it lightly tapped Ray's perky butt, making (y/n) giggle as it jiggled like jelly. Bose dropped the metal bat with a deep sigh, feeling exhausted despite the gentle exercise. 
"Sorry, guys..." he panted at his friends, his chest rapidly rising and falling as Ray rolled his eyes, easily distracted by the pretty girl at the lectern. 
"One more grunt, and I'd have to change my pants again today."
"Thanks for the weapon, kid. Roy played baseball in high school. Four hundred RBIs--could've gone pro if it wasn't for Roy's dang knee..." Ray said wistfully, going into a surprising amount of detail as he pouted at his injured leg like he'd genuinely lived this other life--all in the third person, apparently. It gained him a few weird looks from the kids and his wife, who wanted to know how long he'd been picturing Roy and his evil life after they'd planned this lesson. 
"How deep is Roy's backstory?" She asked, looking amused as Ray turned to her with an enamoured smile. He didn't look the same with that moustache like he was amidst a midlife crisis. However, she still saw her doofus, giving him an alluring gaze when he sauntered to her side, smirking. 
"Deeper than the seas, pretty girl, where Roy is a certified scuba instructor..." he crooned, thinking something like that would be hot and attractive to his wife as she giggled. Loving her bright smile, he stepped forward and cupped her cheek, hoping to satisfy his craving for something sweet by leaning in for a small kiss...only for (y/n) to put her fingers betwixt them. 
"Hey! I want a kiss..."
"Sorry, Roy. I only kiss my husband, Ray," the woman teased him, watching as a kaleidoscope of emotions whirled across his face in a split second - from confusion to sadness to anger to resilience. 
He pecked her open palm instead, accepting her refusal with dignity and grace since he saw the game in her eyes. As if the ring on his finger didn't match hers, but he shrugged it off, knowing he'd have her once they caught a moment alone and resumed the exercise. 
"Next!" Mika walked into the middle of the room with a confident face, eager than most to impress Ray. She'd wipe that disappointed, lovesick, puppy-like expression off his mug, having practised her super-scream every night for the past week to try and strengthen her vocal cords. 
"Get ready to be...blown away!" She exclaimed, as eager as Bose with her witty entrance line, although it wasn't quite so creative. And it didn't help how she twitched her fingers to highlight the pun, making her quip seem clunky and forced, unlike her friend's smoother delivery. 
"Unnecessary air quotes--B minus!" The hero retorted, making the dark-haired girl grit her teeth and curse. She wasn't used to failure, being the kid who always earned gold stars at school, but it wasn't all bad, not when she'd caught Ray in a particularly tetchy mood after (y/n) teased him like that. 
So, she didn't let the lowered grade deflate her enthusiasm, shaking her limbs loose as she dipped into concentration. Her hands opened next to her head, stretched open as she screamed, attempting to flex her throat in the unique way that made it super. It worked, vibrating slightly to create airwaves that tickled Ray's face and ruffled his hair a little, chocolate locks flapping gently in the breeze. 
He didn't look very impressed, and she guessed if this was real, Baby wouldn't have his candy anymore. 
"Take that!"
"Took it. Bored! Next!" Ray snapped and dabbed, quickly burning through his protégées and their pathetic powers. 
At long last, it was Miles' turn as his sister returned to the sidelines, grumbling, but he didn't see as...hurried as the others. He strolled calmly in front of Ray, looking rather bored with the situation--almost as if it didn't bother him. Flashing Ray a sickly sweet smile, he shoved his hands in his pockets, clearly making no attempt to teleport, attack, or pull any other manoeuvre to save Schwoz, much to the adults' confusion. 
"On the contrary, there will not be a next time," he declared confidently as Mika facepalmed, exasperated by his stubbornness.  
"What?" Ray frowned, wondering if he'd heard the kid correctly. He set the rules here and expected all the children to participate in his lessons, even if they were strange since they'd help them learn. What was Miles' deal?
"I refused to be tested, Roy," the kid replied, giving his boss a sceptically harsh glance as he refused to use his superpower. "I won't play your game. And besides, the solution will reveal itself.
"So...you're just gonna let Baby die?" Ray asked incredulously in his silly, evil voice, which made everyone ponder his words because he didn't say that before they started. They didn't think the exercise was so...critical and anguished, especially Schwoz, who looked up from picking his fingernails with a pale, panicked face. 
"Wait, what?"
"I thought you were just gonna take his candy!" Chapa gasped, thinking that if she knew the supposedly delicate and dangerous situation, she and the others would've tried harder. (y/n) observed quietly, folding her arms as she watched her husband dither, aware that he'd diverted from his plan and now had to think of an excuse. God, his arms looked really good in that shirt...
"What you don't know is that...the lollipop contains the very medicine that keeps Baby alive," Ray explained, making everything up as he went along. Still, they nodded, going along with whatever he said since this was his charade, despite Schwoz's bored grimace. 
"Miles, you have to fight him! You can't just wait for every problem to solve itself," Mika told her brother sternly, ignoring his impudent shrug. He always did this, believing more in his hippy, karmic nonsense than reason or science, and often refused to work because of it. He thought the universe would pay him back for being a good person, and whilst that was somewhat true, it frustrated everyone to see him standing idly by. 
However, the universe must've loved that boy. By some mystic intervention or Lady Luck's grace, Miles' problem was solved by a sudden and unexpected interruption as the school's security system kicked in, warning its occupants that someone was wandering too close for comfort. 
"Stranger approaching. School mode activated." The automated voice spoke robotically as the lights flashed red, meaning the test would have to resume another time before this wanderer saw something they shouldn't. 
"All right, test over!"
Ray and (y/n) were the first to jump into action, highly protective of their secrets as Schwoz took off running and screaming, knowing there was little he could do but hide - a weirdo like him wasn't exactly fit for public view dressed in a onesie. Ditching his moustache and shoving their flirting aside for now, the couple quickly instructed the kids to look normal as the classroom cleverly hid its superhero gear and replaced it with pens, pencils and coloured paper. 
"See? The problem solved itself. Feels good to be right!" Miles grinned as his friends dashed about, hugging the walls as the desks popped out of the floor and the chairs came down from the ceiling. 
"You're still gonna do that test!" (y/n) told him firmly, wanting to add to her notes about the boy's progress, and she couldn't do that if he didn't complete it. Still, she left the discussion there, hoping her warning sunk in as she and Ray slipped into their dapper blazers, rolling their shoulders to get used to the stiff material - looking so formal wasn't their usual style. 
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As the board changed to some random, boring schoolwork, the kids hastily took their seats, settling into what appeared to be an ordinary lecture whilst the teachers hurried to the door. 
"Hello?" They could hear someone shouting from the other side of the thick oak, a scratchy, whiny, vaguely familiar voice before they took a deep breath and twisted the golden knob. Just act normal and pretend like it was a real school...
Ray opened the door to a Fuschia-wearing monster leaning on the frame, and he felt a shiver roll down his spine as he met its eyes. And he knew them all too well. He and (y/n) thought they'd seen the last of Sharona Shapen, an old acquaintance from Henry's school days and someone he'd not only had the misfortune of taking on a date once but kissing too. 
The thought made him want to puke, but first, he wanted to know why the garishly hideous woman was standing in his front porch light.
"Oh, hey, handsome!" Sharona greeted Ray smoothly as she waltzed into the building without so much as an invitation, ignoring the pretty woman by his side. The hero shivered at the so-called compliment, not wanting her or anybody else to flirt with him while he loved his wife--so now until forever. 
"Uh, can we help you?" (y/n) asked awkwardly, knowing she'd just been ignored like a doormat. Yet she held her ground as her husband closed the door, peering at the gangly woman as she analysed the classroom, looking ridiculous in her bright pink suit. Sharona had never been what one would call a fashionista. 
"Depends. Do you know any good-looking guys with low standards?" The blonde asked humorously, clearly the same sad, lonely woman she'd been when Henry Hart was still her pupil. Her personality didn't help, having a penchant for being awkward and weird, as well as her tacky dress sense. 
But the heroine didn't feel any sympathy for her, not when she always wooed her doofus like she wasn't in the room, so she chose to stick to his side, ensuring her gleaming wedding ring was on display. She wouldn't let her anywhere near her lover without hosing him down afterwards. 
"No, I'm married. I don't need to look for guys anymore," she replied with a polite yet strained smile, threading her arm through Ray's as he smiled. He still wasn't used to hearing it, beaming with pride that the woman on his arm was his wife, not that it phased Miss Shapen. She wasn't picky, not at all, and that's when it hit Mika. 
"Wait, aren't you a teacher at Swellview Junior High?" She asked, knowing she'd seen the woman before when she attended regular school. But she'd never been one of her pupils because she left before she was old enough for those classes. 
"I was, but Swellview Junior High and I both decided it was time to part ways."
"So you got fired," Chapa retorted dryly, knowing she was sugarcoating the truth because schools didn't let teachers go without a good reason. And with Sharona Shapen, (y/n) could believe it, having heard all about her bizarre exploits and low expectations when her old babies used to visit the Man Cave after school. Good times...
"Bingo! Anyway, I work for the city now. Sharona Shapen, school inspector, see?" The woman announced, showing them all the official identity papers she pulled from her back pocket and the couple wished she'd shown them when she first walked in. 
But that was part of her plan, smirking slightly when she saw how they gulped at the revelation. Before, she was just another overworked, underpaid teacher doing the nine-to-five. Still, now, she was in a position of power--and it definitely went to her head, making (y/n) pray that she went easy on them. 
"Gotta make sure every school in Swellview has a license, and, according to my records, you ain't got one!" 
"Well, can we get one?" Ray asked quietly, audibly swallowing the lump in his throat as his sweet girl's tummy fluttered with nerves. She hadn't thought about that - a license, assuming that high on Mount Swellview, no one would care if they opened a school, given how they were tucked away, minded their own business, and mostly kept to themselves. 
Neither she nor Ray thought about regulations or inspections; they just wanted to teach four kids to be superheroes, but the city officials had apparently noticed. 
"Maybe..." Sharona replied curtly, enjoying watching the handsome man and his timid wife squirm as she tucked her clipboard under her arm, 
"But you gotta pass my test!"
"I can pass your test! Anything! Give me your test, and I'll pass it! You got this..." Mika exclaimed, mumbling words of encouragement as her competitive streak flared upon hearing that word - test. She loved them, making her a little crazy, but she was good at them, studying harder and longer than most to prove that she was better than the rest. 
"Not you, smarty pants!" Sharona, however, wasn't so impressed, wondering where the try-hard popped up from and why she thought she could pass anything. 
"Thank you! I like yours too..." Mika grinned shyly, weirdly thinking the woman's curt tone was a compliment, but at least it seemed to smooth over her foul mood. 
"I bet you do...They're Bucci!" Miss Shapen replied smugly, turning around and wiggling her butt to the disgusted team to show them the disaster label. She had no shame, parading around with Bucci--some hideous, gaudy fashion designer--emblazoned on her ass in sparkling diamantes, both on the jacket and her pants. 
The suit must've cost thousands, yet for all that money, she still looked like a fire-damaged Barbie doll...
"This whole school needs to pass my test. You kids, the water supply, your hot teacher, his little wife..." She explained, and whilst Ray appreciated the small compliment, (y/n) couldn't help but growl. What did she need to do to make this woman back off?
She hugged his arm to her chest, glaring at Sharona for flirting with her husband, especially when she recognised their marriage and still disregarded it. Of course, he was hot, achingly so, but only she got to point it out...and see him naked. 
But she brushed it off, wanting to hear more about this test as the children wriggled in their chairs, uncomfortable with a stranger in their classroom. 
"I need to conduct a thorough investigation of this school right now, or I'm shuttin' it down!" The inspector declared, acting a little too dramatic for everyone's taste. Still, they said nothing, not wanting to upset the Fushica overlord before she handed the license over, even if that couldn't be today. They weren't ready...
"We can't take your test today because we're going on a field trip!" Mika lied nervously, and luckily, Sharona wasn't too bright. She was still suspicious, eyeing the kids and apparent teachers as they smiled sweetly--perhaps too sweetly. 
"Where to?"
"A field," (y/n) said instantly, not missing a beat as she stood a little closer to her doofus, her face stern and severe like a firm, merciless teacher, much like Sharon's used to be. It sounded absurd, but a field trip was a field trip, no matter where they went, and the woman could hardly argue with that if one of the headteachers said so. 
"Can I come?" Sharona asked, wanting to know what they were teaching in the field, but the heroine had an answer, too. 
"Did you bring your parents' signature?"
"No, my parents are ashamed of me," the weird woman replied, staring at the floor as everyone coughed awkwardly. They could believe that, observing the inspector and thinking she wasn't exactly a superstar in her eye-wateringly bright outfit. But this was good, and they had to fight the smiles itching to get onto their faces as they lured her away from snooping around the school. 
"All right then. Well, have a nice day!" Ray told her with a quick smile, reaching out to take her by the shoulders and guide her toward the door--to whichever hell hole she came from. The sooner she was gone, the better, and luckily, she didn't protest, shuffling toward the exit with nothing but a mildly confused countenance.  
"Well, I'll be back tomorrow!"
"Can't wait for that..." (y/n) hummed, standing by the door, ready to pull it open so she could throw Sharona out on her ear. She'd undoubtedly return to flirt with her doofus, darkening the heroine's mood, but at least they'd be rid of her for a short while. 
"And I better see some teaching. And some learning! Some Phys Ed, some Driver's Ed--I wanna see all the Eds! And if I don't...I'm shuttin' it down!" The loudmouth woman decreed as she paused in the doorway, glaring at the meek couple, who gulped at her furious tone. 
They didn't doubt her word, not liking the thought of being shut down by Sharona Shapen, of all people, and if SWAG was to go, they could say goodbye to Danger Force. The kids needed the school to fool their parents and learn to control their powers. So, when (y/n) finally closed the door behind her, bolting it to stop the beast from reentering, she and Ray faced the kids with worried frowns. 
"We better find some Eds..." the man announced to the sombre room, blowing his cheeks out as (y/n) held his hand tightly, watching the children exchange concerned glances. 
Okay, she'd take that kiss now. Anything to soothe her frazzled nerves...
~The next day~
True to her, Sharona showed up at SWAG the very next day. 
She strolled up to the front door like a woman on a mission, determined to prove her authority and power with the mere clipboard in her hand, wearing another hideous outfit – this one a grotesque prune colour, complete with a frilly, flowery blouse. This time, she hoped to catch the handsome teacher and his stupid wife off their guard, knowing they wouldn't have two field trips in one week, so she eagerly pressed the doorbell, ready to wreak some chaos. 
But Ray and (y/n) hadn't been idle. Despite only having a few hours to prepare, they and the kids devised a curriculum for her test, organising many fake lessons to please any city inspector. Everything had to be perfect, from the classroom layout to the kids' behaviour to the teachable content to the teachers. And the couple certainly brought their A-game. 
"--And now you know everything Albert Einstein knew..." Ray told the room as he answered the door to the walking grape, grimacing when he noticed how she leaned on the doorframe again - apparently her seductive pose.
"Oh, hello! Whatever brings you to our modest and totally real school?" The hero asked politely as he smiled, knowing he risked a slap from his sweet girl if he dared to sneer at the woman. 
He was dressed to the nines, turning his business casual style from yesterday into an outfit fit for the gentry. Instead of his usual comfy, unbelievably hot t-shirt, he wore a proper button-down under his perfectly ironed blazer. He even tucked a regal silk cravat between the loosened collar, hating how warm it made his neck, but (y/n) said it was fetching. 
She didn't quite agree with his knee-high riding boots. His tan trousers were tucked into them, giving him an air of nobility, although she still preferred her silly doofus. 
"Cool your boots, fancy toots. And you, Little Miss Muffet, out of my way!" Sharona scoffed at their excellent manners, showing her lack thereof as she pushed her way into the building, rudely barging past (y/n) as she did. 
If it wasn't for her façade of politeness and gentility, (y/n) would've given her a couple of fives right up her hooter. But she relented, staying true to her mission as she brushed the invisible dust off her uniform and carried on calmly. 
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She'd also swapped her casual jeans and t-shirt, wearing a tight but not too revealing pencil skirt, which matched her femininely cut jacket. And whilst she preferred sneakers for when she was lecturing, her simple, black heels made her legs look long and elegant, so, prettied up with the diamond earrings from their anniversary and her hair all pinned up, she looked like an actual headmistress. 
That, and Ray thought she looked hot. 
"It ain't real until I says it's real." The couple rolled their eyes as Ray closed the door, wondering when they sunk so low to take orders from Sharona Shapen, but they bit their tongues. It was just for one morning...
"Now, let's blast some school inspection music and get this done!" They couldn't argue with that, not if they wanted to receive a notice of closure, so they let the woman do what she wanted. 
As the music played an upbeat, hip-hop pop song, they began to show her what SWAG had to offer. Like sound, diligent students, the kids gathered around with exaggerated awe, listening intently as Mr and Mrs. Manchester talked through what the lessons were today - all while they sipped from their his and hers mugs. At least Ray looked calm, playing with his charm and devilish good looks to soften Sharona up, even if it made (y/n) break a pencil or two. 
First, they started with science, allowing them to introduce the inspector to Professor Schwoz - the part-time science teacher. He knew the plan to make it seem like the children were learning as he swirled a few potions and lotions to impress Sharona--and it worked, even if Bose tried to drink hydrochloric acid like it was lemonade. 
She didn't know what half those chemicals, powders, and doohickeys did, but it looked...learn-y, which she quickly noted on her report. 
Next, Ray took gym class - the only thing (y/n) could see him instructing successfully, other than hero stuff. Of course, they didn't have anything suitable to show a civilian, nothing that didn't include blasters and super-suits, so he opted for the big bouncy balls again, getting them to bounce around like it was good exercise. 
Well, it seemed enough to please Miss Shapen, who enjoyed seeing the children boinging on the lively things...but she liked seeing Headmaster Manchester in his gym clothes much more. 
Then, (y/n) took math class, expertly guiding the children through quadratic equations and the Pythagorean theorem as if it were child's play. Her plan was to baffle Sharona with numbers, spouting some mumbo-jumbo about Xs and parentheses as Mika, Miles, Chapa, and Bose nodded like they understood the scrawlings on the board. 
"The square of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle is equal to the sum of the square of the other two sides." She made it sound simple: quickly find C after jotting down a few numbers. 
It wasn't tough since she loved math. She breathed math. She'd die for math. But it was enough to impress the snooty, violet-wearing woman observing her lecture, who'd learned something or two while she noted everything down. 
Finally, the final lesson rolled around, and this was the big one. The grand finale. The class about the learning of things that had already happened. History. The adults went all out, giving each kid a period costume and a prop to carry as they reenacted the Battle of Swellview, marching past Sharona with their antique swords, scrolls and ginormous flag. 
They claimed the land - or stage - for their new city, gathering around with their dramatic poses and extravagant costumes as the inspector watched with tears in her eyes, full of pride for the founding story of her city. 
Ray couldn't help but feel smug, swirling the last trickle of coffee in his mug since his precious wife drank half of it, saying his had just enough sweetness for her liking - much more than hers. But he couldn't be mad, half-cocked and drooling as she watched her lecturing the class as if it was her destiny, swanning around in that pencil skirt like his teenage pin-up. 
His wife was hot, and everyone knew he turned into a lust-addled zombie when she talked numbers. So, when Sharona finally concluded her test, he was barely listening. 
"Well, that's it. You all failed!--" She announced, pausing the catchy song as the group stared at her in disbelief, baffled as to where they'd gone wrong. They thought it was perfect...
"What?! How?" (y/n) gasped, breaking her doofus out of his daydream about seeing that skirt on the floor as she squeezed his hand. Was this it? Was her ridiculous, itchy dress and mob cap all for nothing? She didn't want to lose the school, not so soon after opening it, and her heart was in her mouth until...Sharona smiled, pulling the biggest UNO reverse card ever. 
"--Failed to do anything wrong! You passed!" She declared, much to their immense relief and delight. 
The children and Schwoz cheered and high-fived each other as Ray and (y/n) embraced and shared a quick kiss, stopping short of swallowing each other's faces after a tense night of very little passion. He looked surprisingly in his sailor's hat and period-style shirt - Mr Darcy, who?
"Swellview Academy for the Gifted is an officially licensed school..." Miss Shapen told them as she passed Ray a freshly signed certificate, which decreed that the city recognised their right to educate its youngest and most impressionable students. It would look great on their wall, all framed and displayed for all to see and admire. 
"Nice!" Ray grinned as he eagerly showed it to his precious wife with a peck to her temple. He squeezed her tightly as she took it from his hands and squealed, believing their worries to be over...
"You'll get your two new students tomorrow." But, of course, nothing was ever simple. Their joy and merriments died after the moody woman added the baffling news, making them stare at her with deeply concerned frowns. Hoping they misheard her, they gasped, not liking what they heard because it sounded like she said new students, but surely not...
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...Take that and rewind it back!"
"What new students?" (y/n) questioned furiously as she and Ray stepped away from the horrified children and faced her, but Sharona didn't bat an eyelash. She didn't care about their arguments or discomfort; she had a job, so it wasn't personal, even if she'd like to get a little personal with a certain someone...
"Oh, well, there's a shortage of available space at gifted schools. I got two kids who have been learnin' at a bus station for the last month," she explained, making the Danger Force team scowl, suddenly feeling grateful for the clean and proper facilities provided for them. 
But, as much as the sob story made (y/n)'s heart hurt, she refused to take on more students. She exchanged a worried look with her husband, who was on the same page as her, thinking their superhero duties would move to the back burner with two randomers snooping around the school and possibly the Man's Nest. Ray wouldn't have his sweet girl looking so nervous, boldly stepping toward Sharona again with a defiant frown. 
"I'm moving them here tomorrow."
"Well, what if we don't take them?" He asked, turning his nose up at the thought of more children running rampant in his home, rapidly becoming a goddamn daycare. 
"Well, then, I'm shuttin' ya down!" The woman replied haughtily with what was rapidly becoming her catchphrase. She pulled a small removed from her pocket, glaring at the rebellious couple as she pressed a button to summon...police officers?
They stormed in as a shrill siren sounded, entering the building with stern faces, alarmingly short shorts and sleeves shirts. And it wasn't even that hot outside. The chief, some tall, intimidating dude, stomped in with his beefy guns out, harsh gaze flickering from the puzzled kids, horrified couple, and to one very smug inspector. 
"You shuttin' this place down, Sharona?"
"I don't know... Are we?" She asked, coldly looking at Ray and (y/n) as they sighed, knowing their hands were tied. This was her way of flexing some muscle, scaring them into compliance, no matter how much they resented the thought of two bus shelter charity cases. As much as they wanted to shout, kick, and scream, neither wanted to get into a fight with the police, so with a defeated shrug from his sweet girl, Ray growled and deflated. 
"Fine--we'll take 'em!" He conceded, but he wasn't happy about it. However, Sharona appeared delighted, turning to her muscular enforcers with a mischievous smirk - (y/n) was just glad it wasn't aimed at her doofus. 
"Then, carry me out, buster!" She exclaimed before, in a bizarre, almost concerning feat, leaping across the room and into the chief's arms so he could carry her out bridal style. Her gangly frame looked unsteady in his embrace despite the man's apparent strength. But, unfortunately, the other policemen closed the door before the team could see if she fell flat on her face. What a shame...
"See you tomorrow!"
"We're screwed..." (y/n) noted once they were alone with nothing other than the revelation that SWAG was getting two new students in the morning. The certificate in her hand felt obsolete now, the joy draining from their bodies at the thought of babysitting two kids while fighting crime. 
The thought was impossible, making her give her doofus a worried glance as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. They needed a plan--and quick. 
~The Man's Nest~
After that sobering warning from Miss Shapen, the Danger Force team gathered upstairs to lick their wounds and formulate a plan - anything to save their secret operation. 
Each person was tasked with researching their own idea of how to get rid of these two new kids, thinking, tapping, or, in Bose's case, nibbling as they went. There had to be a way of getting rid of them, preferably without too much mess - looking at Chapa there - the only trouble was nailing it. 
Mika was particularly tenacious, on the ball as always, but what was new there? As she sat at the mini-supercomputer, the others listened intently, even though whatever she'd thought of wasn't what they'd had in mind - more like blood, murder, and pitchforks. 
"So, we find these kids' personal information, and then, we fill out an application to--"
"Boring!" Ray interrupted the poor girl as he sat on the back of the couch, looking far more fetching now that he and his sweet girl had changed out of their fancy clothes. His muscles in that bold-pattern shirt looked good enough to eat, but (y/n) frowned at his rudeness, knowing Mika was onto something. 
Of course, she was. She was the one who told her where to look and what to look for in the first place. 
"Raymond!" The heroine scolded him, and Ray stood up from where he'd been perched on the back of the couch. He gave her a slight pout but didn't apologise, believing he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, he merely kissed her forehead and brushed past, thinking he held the solution to all their problems - being the thinker he was. 
"Schwoz, go get the Memory-Wiper! The new kids show up, we erase their memories, badaboom bada--" he smirked, much to the kids' frustration. They'd been over this a million times, but no matter how much they explained it to him, the doofus wouldn't get it past his thick skull. Not even if (y/n) smushed his cheeks together and made him listen. 
"Do you ever listen?!" Mika shouted dramatically as Schwoz rubbed his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. 
"I told you ten times!" The genius told Ray, looking thoroughly exasperated since it was like trying to talk to a brick wall, especially when he took an interest in the new jeans (y/n) was wearing. 
"The Memory-Wiper got destroyed when you, Miss Danger, and Kid Danger fought Drex! It's not going to conveniently get us out of things anymore..."
"Nice try, doof..." (y/n) hummed, walking over to pat his chest and give her husband a quick smooch as he groaned. He really thought he was onto something, but they'd have to be more creative than that. Schwoz could make another Wiper, but that would take too long, and it was old tech anyway. He wasn't the type to look back - it distracts from the now. 
"I know how we can get rid of these kids..." Chapa remarked as she looked up from her tablets, and all her friends turned to stare at her, including the kissing couple. This would be interesting...
"We get a chainsaw, and a ceiling fan, and a--"
"Chapa, no! No violence, no blood, no murdering, and certainly, no chainsaws!" (y/n) told her sharply, pinching her eyes for the hundredth time because all of the girl's ideas had been like that. Dark, demonic, and highly illegal, decidedly not in line with Captain Man's heroic values. 
She scowled at that, slumping in her chair as the man crouched down to her eye level, wondering who he'd pissed off to deserve such a troublesome pupil. 
"What's your deal? Why are you so scary?" He asked, but that seemed to infuriate her more as she leaned closer to his face with bared teeth and blazing eyes. 
"A boy stole my cell phone!"
"So, buy another one!" Ray snapped, unphased by her thunderous voice because it was the same old rhetoric. 
He and his sweet girl had discussed this many times, but neither understood the kid's obsession with some crappy, outdated PearPhone, and it was getting old. Anyone else would've simply moved on, bitter but free from the burden of a grudge, but not Chapa. She took things much more seriously, like the theft was a black mark against her ancestors or something. 
"No! If you're best friend got stolen, would you just buy another one?" She asked furiously, and it wasn't the first time the Man's Nest had seen such an argument. She never backed down nor gave up, stubborn to a fault, but unfortunately, so was Ray, and he didn't shy away from a fight either. 
"Yes! I fell in love with my first best friend, so I hired a new one!" The man replied instantly, causing (y/n)'s ears to superheat since she wasn't expecting him to put it so bluntly. As she scratched the back of her head and giggled nervously - a clear sign to the kids that Ray was talking about her - the hero took a moment to spare himself the heartache. 
The reality of it all was hard to acknowledge out loud. 
"Then, he moved to Dystopia, so I bought four new ones!" He exclaimed, and honestly, that made them melt a little. Whilst they knew Kid Danger was special to Captain Man, always had been and always would be, it was nice to see that they filled the Henry-sized hole in his heart. Sort of. 
"Aww...love you, man," Bose cooed, reaching to bump fists with his mentor as he and (y/n) tried not to get mopey. The kids were good, but really, they didn't replace anyone...
"We'll get there," Ray let him down gently, briefly tapping his knuckles since he wouldn't call any of them his best friends. His wife would always be his first and greatest relationship, but he'd learned that with time, his love grew - not shared or halved, but it grew. Very slowly. 
"Anyway, doofus, I've been doing some research, and, according to The Big Book Of Swellview Laws, if these new kids agree to leave the school on their own--" (y/n) quickly moved on, tapping the spine of a heaven-sent, hazy hardback copy of the city's craziest laws. They still had work to do, but it was a start, and Ray couldn't help but beam at his wife's brilliance - she was so hot when she was being clever. 
"Then, Miss Shapen and her sleeveless goons can't shut us down! Nice work, sweet girl!" He chimed, blindly tossing the book over his shoulder when he plucked it from her hands, too eager to sweep her into a whirlwind of a kiss to care if it nearly hit Bose. Which it did--and Miles, who glared at the hero for almost killing him. 
Exactly! And no throwing things inside, Raymond. What have I told?" She nodded, slightly breathless from the passionate assault on her lips. Still, she remained firm, glimpsing at the boys apologetically as her guilty lover shuffled to retrieve the book like a good boy. 
"So, we just make life as miserable as possible for these new kids, and they agree to leave on their own," Chapa supposed, much to Ray's delight.
"Good plan, Chapa!" He nodded, clapping his hands together as (y/n) rolled her eyes. She'd basically come up with the plan; the girl merely read between the lines, but she let it go, too distracted by the large, warm hands that suddenly appeared on her waist. 
"And shockingly, not violent," Mika added, thinking her friend had refrained from her usual murderous ideas for a change, and it was lovely. She still didn't like the sound of torturing the new students on their first day, but where Chapa was concerned, it wasn't half bad. 
"...You didn't let me finish." Or not. The Latina rose from her chair with a cunning smirk, picturing scenes of horror and gore that would drive out any pathetic and unwelcome children from their school. 
"We find out who they love the most, and then, in the middle of the night, we--"
"Oh, come on!"
"Chapa, please!"
"You were doing so good!" Her friends groaned, not wanting to know what horror-film outing she'd planned since they knew it would lead to no good. As they cursed her for being abnormal, Chapa shrugged, wondering what all the fuss and nonsense was about--just because she saw things a little...differently. Blood-soaked with curdling screams of pain and anguish. 
In her mind, it worked - removing the problem perhaps a little messily, but so what? You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, and if these new kids had to be the eggs?... Well, so be it. 
~The next day~
Bright early, everyone arrived in SWAG the next day, ready to give the new students hell. 
Perhaps it was a little unfair - it wasn't their fault that Sharona Shapen chose the only secret superhero school in the city to be theirs, but that didn't matter. Ray wanted them gone, and what he said went. Some of the plans were ridiculous, especially the giant high-striker Schwoz had installed at the front of the classroom. No one had any idea what the boss wanted to do with it. 
It was big, brash, and blue--kinda like Ray in that sense, and he chuckled to himself as he strapped his handyman into the device's little chair. His feet were already aching in his stiff riding boots, feeling like he had two lumps of cement on his feet, but it would be worth the pain of tricking the new brats into leaving. 
And he'd never complain about seeing his sweet girl in that pencil skirt, his eyes constantly glued to her ankles like an enchanted Victorian gentleman. (y/n) was a little flustered and jittery, pacing the room while biting her fingernails. Still, she powered through, turning a blind eye to every misdeed her friends committed - all for the greater good, apparently. Although, she swore there had to be a simpler way...
"Doofus, what are you doing? (y/n) asked her lover as he fiddled with the belt buckle on Schwoz's chair, and from where she was standing, it sounded like he was torturing the guy. He groaned and moaned, lolling his head from side to side, quietened only by Ray's occasional sharp warning. 
"You'll see, darlin'. All in good time..." Ray grinned, hoping she'd see his intelligence genius in the same way. But then, he glanced at his watch and paled at the time, knowing that the devil and her sproglets would soon be upon them--and he'd hardly created a classroom of chaos yet. 
"Hurry up! They're coming!" He shouted to the children, who'd been sent off on various tasks to try and find things to make their guests feel extra welcome. He didn't care what it was as long as it made them utterly miserable, although Schwoz didn't make it easy when he slapped his fingers for messing with his buckle. It was like he didn't want to help, no matter the cost...
"Ray, (y/n)! I found this broken chair in the basement!" Bose announced as he dashed into the room, wheeling an antique wicker wheelchair in front of him. 
It looked like it was at least a hundred years old, making (y/n) turn her nose up at the musty smell, and she assumed that it was something the previous owners must've left. She'd never keep something decrepit, and Ray wouldn't be seen dead in a wheelchair. Ever. 
And that wasn't all; in the chair's lap, he'd turned a rickety old stool upside to carry that too, and on closer inspection, it looked worse than the chair. Full of woodworm and rusty nails, the heroine was sure she'd need a tetanus shot if she sat on it - and that was coming from someone with super-regeneration. 
"Love it! Explain..." Ray nodded appreciatively, staring at the antiques with much more love than his wife could muster as they huddled together to hear Bose's plan. 
"We'll make one of the new kids sit in this rusty, busted-up thing, and we'll make the other sit on this termite stool," the boy smirked, knowing that his plan would cause pure despair for the students, even if it was a little mean. 
"What's a termite stool?" Mika asked from her desk, where she'd been feverishly researching something (y/n/n) told her to look into. She'd told her to work smarter, not harder, but when she heard something so stupid, she couldn't help but be distracted. 
"Stool full'a termites! Give it a sit!"
"No..." she quickly declined, returning to her work as Bose shrugged. He didn't care when the torture device was meant for someone else. Still, Mika didn't like the idea of using little insects to bite the unsuspecting kids, which was why she'd been working on something much kinder--and more straightforward, quicker, cheaper. Nothing could go wrong. 
"So, I was thinking--"
"Not finished!" But the long-haired boy had other ideas. Surprisingly, for one so dense, he'd been exceptionally proactive, coming up with not one but two mischievous ideas, even if the latter wasn't as strong as the other. 
"When the new kids get here, I'm also gonna use my powers to make stuff float. And I'm gonna use my throat to make ghost noises like, souuuuuuup!'"
"Soup?" (y/n) frowned, wondering why he thought a ghost would say that. Maybe it sounded a little spooky, but she couldn't take him seriously, not when she could sense Ray's jerking shoulders next to her. He thought it was funny, muffling his chuckles against her cheek when he hid his face from the boy. 
"Ghosts love soup. They tell me all the time."
"That's not concerning at all..." the woman mumbled to her husband, who could honestly say his eyebrows were through the roof. As if they didn't think Bose was bizarre enough, but now he was a medium, too. Fabulous. Either that, or he was hearing voices, and everyone knows what happens to people who listen to the voices in their heads...
"Good enough... Hey, where's Scary Bradshaw?" Ray asked, quickly moving on before they had to have the kid sectioned. And speaking of disturbing children, he'd noticed a dip in the negativity in the room, and that's when it hit him. Chapa hadn't said one rude, mean, or borderline psychotic thing in at least ten minutes - how long she'd been out of the room. 
"Chapa is hiding in the closet with a chainsaw. When we give her the cue, she's gonna jump out and scare the new kids!" Bose explained, having passed the girl after finding his chairs. It was like something out of a horror film with her sitting in there, waiting to pounce on whichever sucker walked in, despite being warned not to meddle with dangerous stuff. 
"Hey, I thought I said no more chains--"
"Hey, sweet girl, it's okay. Like it, love it, I want more of it!" Ray grinned, dismissing his wife's concerns since he saw no harm. Chapa was a competent and resourceful girl, and he'd seen a lot of thrillers - chainsaws got terrified kids running like nothing else. 
"What you got?"
"I plan on living with an open heart and a strong mind. And I'll remain like that until the solution presents itself," Miles replied when the teachers turned to him, still sitting on his holier-than-thou high horse since he was about his karma and all that mystic bullshit. The hero's proud smile quickly fell, unable to believe what he heard; would the kid ever do some work?
"Who made you this way?" the man asked tiredly, regretting all his choices at that moment. Open a school, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Train four kids at once, they said...
"The system!" Miles hissed, ready to go on a marching warpath since no one ever took his concerns seriously, being the warrior of social justice that he was. 
"I miss Henry--I miss Henry--I miss Henry..."
"It's okay, doof. Just...think nice thoughts. Go to your happy place!" (y/n) soothed her husband as he ran a frustrated hand through his floppy hair, longing for the days when he only had one sidekick - a funny, intelligent, obedient, capable boy who idolised him. And he was never like this. 
She sympathised with him; whilst she wasn't Miss Danger initially, she knew Henry took to the hero's life much more quickly than Danger Force ever did. They'd worked together for so long that everything felt natural and easy. Ray struggled to remember the early days when Henry spilt his secrets, disobeyed a few rules, and used his sidekick status for his games. 
"My happy place..." Ray hummed, smiling softly when he took a minute to tilt his head back and close his eyes, instantly knowing where he wanted to go. An island in the Polynesian Pacific, no kids, no cellphones, no villains turning the place to shit, just him and a very sweet girl strolling the ocean's side - maybe a few kids running in front of them. 
That made him happy--enough to calm his temper for the next kid.
"Mika!" he called out, looking at the girl, who'd barely said a word all morning. She'd just tap-tapped away on her PearPad, ignoring the world around her for whatever was so momentous on the screen.
"Okay, don't be mad, but--"
"Yeah, but see, that always makes me mad..." Ray replied anxiously, wondering if she'd done anything to help and none of that so-called scheming she liked to do. He wanted action, not a namby-pamby cleverness because no one liked a know-it-all except when his darling wife was all hot and smart. 
"Let's just hear what she has to say, Raymond. Go on, Mika..." (y/n) told him gently, tangling her fingers with his as the girl nodded at her reassuring smile, glad someone could control the man-child. 
"Well, actually, it's one of your ideas, but once I've learned these kids' names, I'm gonna enter their personal information into--" she tried to explain after digging and finding that the woman's suspicion was correct. She could get the kids to leave without leaving her seat, doing more damage on her tablet than Ray could do with a million blasters in the field, but he didn't see it that way. 
"A supercomputer that will eat them?!" He proposed, making his precious wife sigh and smack her forehead. Why did he have to be so impatient?
"No!"
"Then, I don't care. Next!" The hero told her rudely, earning himself a whack on the arm from (y/n), who frowned at how he dismissed poor Mika so swiftly. She barely got a chance to explain, but the girl wouldn't be defeated when she had Miss Danger on her side - thank God that man married someone with a brain cell. 
"Just keep doing that, Mika, 'Kay?" She told the kid quietly as Ray rubbed the rapidly fading sore spot on his bicep, whining over annoying his sweet girl. He didn't want to upset her, longing for a bit of intimacy since it felt like forever since he'd had her all to himself. Still, he couldn't think like that, not even when she strolled around in that goddamn skirt. 
"What are you gonna do, doof?"
"Well, I'm glad you finally asked, sweet girl..." he grinned, eager to please and impress as he gestured to the high-striker ensnaring Schwoz. Although she'd already asked about it and watched him fiddle with the gizmo, she still listened intently, feeling like she was watching a little boy on Christmas morning as he showed off his weird toy. 
"It's a test of strength. Just like any other test of strength you'd see at a normal school," Ray presented to the class, earning a few confused stares since that wasn't exactly true. 
Still, (y/n) wouldn't stand for mockery of her beloved doofus, aware that he barely remembered school after finishing the third grade. That was the price of being the world's greatest superhero, making her smile sadly as he obliviously twirled the giant hammer in his strong hands. She'd do anything to keep him so playful and childish...
"You use this hammer to make Schwoz go all the way up there to ring that bell!"
"Hello..." the small man awkwardly waved at the kids, looking confused, irritated, and tired. He was just doing as he was told, despite not knowing entirely what he'd signed up for when Ray said all the way to the top. That sounded...painful. 
"How is this gonna make the new kids want to leave?" Mika questioned, interrupting the happy couple as (y/n) curled an arm around her lover's neck to gently kiss his lips. She couldn't help it if she found him utterly adorable above all his flaws, and those lips were too soft and delicious to ignore when they called to her like that...
"Ha-ha! You'll see!" Ray giggled, pulling away to rest his chin on his wife's head, looking a little too excited for a guy who'd merely installed a high-striker. 
"Please tell me nothing bad will happen," (y/n) begged him, hating the idea of cleaning up another implosion, spillage, or riot. She didn't like it when he tried to be mysterious; often, it was better for him to run things by her first - less chance of death, fire, murder, rampaging, pillaging, or plundering that way. 
"Just wait and see, pretty girl..." But the hero would reveal nothing, leaning down to find her honeyed lips again and smother her pout. While he couldn't promise something entirely harmless and clean, it would still be fun, hopefully enough to drive the new kids away. 
But the moment didn't last. Before he could hold her face to his, keeping the sweetness' source still for him to drink from, the school's security system kicked in. It was an absolute cockblock, ruining his fun before he could do anything else, so poor Ray had to settle for a mere peck. He was getting more and more frustrated every minute...
"Stranger approaching."
"Okay, that's them," he told the kids, ignoring their scrunched-up expressions as he licked the saccharine remnants from his lips and separated from his beloved wife. It was showtime. 
"Now, remember! Whatever happens, we gotta be really mean to these new kids!"
"I don't know, doofus. I'm not very good at the whole mean thing. It makes me feel...mean," (y/n) said quietly, loosely rolling her shoulders as she followed her husband to the door, knowing Sharona Shapen and her bus station brats were behind it. It wasn't in her nature to be spiteful or a bully - God knows she knew what it was like to be on the receiving end, but Ray just gave her a reassuring smile and placed his hand on her shoulder. 
"S'okay, darlin'. I don't want you to lose any of that sweetness, so try your best, okay?" He advised her gently, squeezing her tense flesh with the other hand resting on the doorknob as she nodded weakly. Miles and Bose giggled at how he could switch so effortlessly, going from Mr. Grumpy Pants one second to a lovable teddy bear the next--and all over a girl. 
With one final check of their suit and the outlay of the room, the headmaster opened his doors, a tight yet beaming smile on his face. Instantly, he was greeted with Sharona's ugly, unimpressed mug, something he never wanted to see in the morning, but there were two kids in front of her two. And strangely...they didn't look like monsters. Or brats. Or like they'd be any trouble at all. 
Admittedly, they were filthy, covered in dirt after studying rough for the last month, but if they looked past the stink, they were lovely. The boy, slightly smaller than the other and wearing an old, battered jacket and flat cap, gasped when he saw the room, lopping his arm with the girl's as she, too, seemed in awe at their new school. 
She kept her unwashed hair out of her face with a white handkerchief, looking like a child from a Dickens novel in her ill-fitting green dress and moth-eaten brown jumper. Her boots needed resoling, and her mother - if she had one - needed to give her a good bath since her face was stained with dirt. Yet, despite their abysmal, pitiable condition, they seemed happy, perfectly polite, and grateful to a fault. 
*I'd like to state for the record that English people don't speak like this. we don't live in Oliver Twist, okay?*
"Why, Percy! It's our new school! I'm sure we will love it so!" The girl remarked with tears in her eyes, speaking in a flawlessly clear English accent. And not like she was some Cockney peasant, but like she was one of the landed gentry - eloquent and refined in every syllable. 
"Oh, we shall, Miriam!" The boy, Percy, agreed, giving her a cheeky smile as they admired the sparkling facilities--a remarkable improvement on their old classroom. 
"We shall finally be happy here in our new school!"
"And it smells ever so much better than the bus station!" Miriam remarked as Ray and (y/n) stared at them, wondering where the brats were supposed to be because these were angles. Perfect, little British angels with their excellent manners and elegance. 
"That's because there's a bathroom here, sweetie," Miss Shapen told them, tearing delighted gasps from the children since they weren't used to such luxuries. Life hadn't been kind to them, not that anyone would guess, given their mildly irritating optimism. 
"Anyway, I gotta go. It's Hump Day, so there's free sushi at the gas station, and there's nothing like eating sushi in head to toe--Bucci!" Miss Shapen laughed at her little joke - the only person in the room to do so. She was a strange, strange woman, and luckily made her goodbyes quickly, leaving Ray and (y/n) with their new 'lil English crumpets. 
"Deuces!"
"Uh, hello, we're your new teachers. I'm (y/n), and this is my husband, Ray--" The heroine turned to the keen children with a watery smile, slightly discomforted by their unexpected politeness. She and her doofus were so used to the abrasiveness of Chapa's tongue or Miles' sassy remarks that to be respected was weird. And the Brits didn't stop there. 
"But you can't be our instructors! You're far too young and handsome!" Percy said warmly, looking at a blushing Ray as the man buttoned his lip and smirked at the compliment. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't hate anyone who stroked his ego, making him awkwardly look at (y/n) as she giggled awkwardly. 
"And this fine young lady is your spouse? Good heavens, you are the luckiest man in the world, good sir!" His attention turned to her, eyes twinkling with good intentions from under that flat cap, and the woman couldn't help but clench Ray's arm. 
His head was in danger of exploding, growing bigger with every praise because hell yeah, he knew he'd married the best girl in the world, and knowing that he had the honour of being her husband made him preen like a peacock. Even if they were annoyingly kind and courteous, they were nothing like he'd expected - twice as nice as the brats he had to teach. 
"And your generous spirits are as clear as the kindness in your eyes..." Miriam sighed, getting a little too kiss-assy, but she meant well. Perhaps a little too well, and given their unrelenting goodwill, (y/n) knew she'd never find it in herself to be mean. 
"Oh, uh...thank you! Would you please excuse us for one minute?" She said with a breathy laugh, dragging her doofus by the arm toward the kids and the door. The newcomers didn't mind, talking with pleasant smiles as they ushered Mika, Miles, and Bose into the closet, leaving Schwoz alone since they knew they needed an urgent change of plans. 
However, once they were inside, it was like a scene from Saw - providing some haunting noises for the children waiting patiently outside. Ray, his sweet girl, and the kids screamed in terror as a masked figure jumped out at them, ripping a chainsaw to life as it threatened to chop them to pieces. 
The hero instantly shielded his wife, fists clenched and ready to pummel the mystery slasher for trying to hurt her, but on closer inspection, they were a little short for a bloodthirsty killer. It was Chapa - of course, it was - who'd been waiting for the opportune moment to frighten the shit out of the new students, should they walk in. Only, she ended up giving (y/n) a heart attack and all her friends nightmares. 
"Sorry, I thought you were those gunchy new kids," she apologised, removing her faceless mask and putting the chainsaw down before she could slice anyone. Ray's arms loosened around (y/n)'s body, who dared to peek out from his chest when she realised the end hadn't come, although it was still nice to snuggle against his toned torso. 
"Turns out they're not gunchy at all! They're sweet as--my sweet girl!" Ray exclaimed, petting his wife's precious head as she smiled, shy from the compliment. She'd never claim to be as charming as those hard-done English kids, but she knew he'd argue otherwise, so she stayed silent. 
"I don't know if I can soup ghost them!" Bose pouted, knowing he'd been given a job, but like (y/n), being a bully wasn't in his nature. He was just unassuming, nice-guy Bose. 
"Their last school didn't have a bathroom..."
"If you could even call it a school. I don't think they've had comfortable lives at all," (y/n) noted as Miles frowned, a million questions racing through his mind about how bad their old school must've been. It only made them feel sorry for Miriam and Percy, and indeed, if anyone didn't deserve such terror, it was those sweet peas. 
"They've been through so much. Plus, Percy winked at me, and it melted my heart!" Mika sighed softly, and Ray nodded. He knew how that felt, utterly bewitched by the children and their kind hearts, which was saying something since he wasn't overly fond of children and their tendency to sublet in his home. 
"And Miriam complimented me and my sweet girl!"
"Seriously, I mean...no bathroom! Where have they been goin'?!" Miles pondered, eyebrows trenched in deep thought, although he didn't want to think about the alternatives to having no toilet. He couldn't imagine the squalid conditions they were forced to learn in, and suddenly, he and the others felt a little more grateful for their pristine classroom and facilities, nodding appreciatively. Well, save for Chapa...
"Hey!" She hissed, trying to get them to remember their objective. 
"I mean, I am very young-looking, and my wife is incredibly hot, so the compliments make sense, but--"
"HEY!" She snapped again, but this time, she chose violence. What was new? (y/n) cringed and shrank away in fear as the girl slapped her teacher brutally hard, silencing his pathetic, conceited ramblings about Miriam's apparent compliments. Ray's face was a picture of agony, all scrunched up and red as he clutched his battered face, glad he was indestructible since the kid had a lot of rage in that striped shirt of hers. 
And she didn't stop there. Chapa backhanded him several times, slapping the hero silly to ensure he was listening. She knew what he was like when he started thinking about his pretty little wife and how he'd never stop daydreaming if someone didn't intervene. His skin stung from the vicious assault, dazing Ray until he gathered his thoughts enough to push her away, wondering what he did to deserve such punishment. 
"Ow! Stop slapping me! I'm listening!" He whined, scurrying away into the safety of his wife's arms, where (y/n) cooed and soothingly ran the back of her fingers down his warm flesh. A kiss on the cheek and the pain fleeted, leaving his face rosy and flushed for another reason. 
"We are crime fighters! We can't have a couple a' bus station biscuits sniffin' around here, or we can't respond to emergency calls!" Chapa told everyone sharply, her glare so fierce that even the couple shrank under it, pausing their affection - for now. 
"That's true, I guess..." (y/n) shrugged, knowing she was right. Percy and Miriam were lovely, but it would be difficult to explain why they all had to head out so abruptly and often; it would undoubtedly lead to exposure, something they couldn't risk. 
"I don't care how many fake compliments they give us," the fiery girl continued, eying the man beside her, who gasped and clutched at his breastbone at such an insinuation - he didn't care what anyone said; his wife was hot. 
"How dare you..."
"Or how many fake winks we get!" She hissed, looking at Mika this time, who whimpered at the thought of her wink, eying for show. She knew Percy wasn't like that--that Chapa was just being her usual, callous self, but deep down, she couldn't argue. 
"They were real!"
"She's so mean..." Ray grumbled, forgetting who he was talking about and that she was beside him. Chapa raised her hand at him aggressively, threatening him with another round of happy slaps before (y/n) intervened, flashing everyone her cheery, disarming smile. Maybe what the English kids said about her was true, but all that other stuff...
"Hey, don't you hit my doofus," she warned the girl, prodding her pal until Chapa relented. She'd let the guy off the hook...for now, allowing (y/n) to continue as her husband patted her hip in thanks. 
"Okay, so Mika and I have a non-violent plan that only includes a little paperwork. Easy-peasy, squeeze the lemon, so--"
"AYYYYE!" A strange voice came from above, interrupting the woman as she shrieked and ducked out of the way. She sought shelter in Ray's embrace, gasping as a figure hit the floor and stared at them all with big, round eyes, whitish skin, an alien-like head--oh, it was just Schwoz.
The stupid little coconut-head was hiding in the rafters like a goddamn bat, listening to the conversation since he had some critical news--although he couldn't just use the door like ordinary people. As they all recovered from their mini-heart attacks, he shook off the landing, surprisingly agile for a cooped-up nerd. 
"We've already missed three emergency calls since those kids got here!" The genius announced, skipping the pleasantries and baffled questions as to where he'd dropped from. The bleak news pulled groans from everyone, knowing that once the emergencies piled up, it was almost impossible to fix them without some serious work. 
"See? Swellview needs us! So, get out there, be mean to those new kids, and send them back to the bus station! Who's with me?" Chapa growled, having little sympathy for the brats when they'd already caused so much trouble. And her friends agreed, feeling terrible for what they had to do, but it was necessary. 
Yet no one, except for Schwoz, put their hand up, anxious to do wrong to do right, so the girl got a little creative. One warning of her palm in the air, and they jumped to it, agreeing keenly since no one wanted a beating like Ray's, seeing how it seared his skin and sprung tears in his eyes. 
"Did they use a bucket?" Miles murmured, still hung up on the bus station toilet debacle. Still, his sister pulled him out of the room before anyone could answer. 
Miriam and Percy were beginning to get lonely and confused, wondering where everyone went, so they filed out, leaving the happy couple with Chapa as Ray glared at her. His face still ached, tender and scarlet from her angry fists. For someone who was used to being the boss, she didn't relish his authority very much, but they'd soon see about that--
"Hey, listen. I let those slaps go last time, but next time--Ahhh!" The hero tried to confront her, but she was having none of it. Before he could give her the scolding she deserved, her wrist flicked out again, striking his cheek painfully and drying up his words. 
"Chapa!" (y/n) warned sharply as her lover gritted his teeth and tried not to show weakness. If only she was that good with criminals, he'd be out of a job...
However, she didn't seem apologetic or remorseful, wearing her typical glare, even as her favoured teacher gave her a stern look. Whilst she respected Miss Danger more than Captain Man, she still hated being dictated to, and Chapa turned on her heel before they could have a chance to punish her. What were they gonna do? Send her back to regular school where her powers could be exposed? Yeah, right...
"I'll see you guys out there..." And with that, she stomped away, taking her mask and chainsaw with her and leaving the spouses alone. She was ready to wreak havoc, slipping back into the classroom without much fuss, and even though time was of the essence, the couple couldn't help but relish the brief glimpse of peace. 
*Spicy from here. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.*
Realising they were alone - or as alone they could be in a school full of rioting children - they fell together, (y/n)'s hand on his cheek to soothe Chapa's assault. The kids were merely behind the brick wall, chattering away amongst themselves as the hero gripped his wife's waist and pulled her close, feeling like melting into her embrace and saying to hell with the world. 
He nosed her hair, sighing deeply as she stroked his warm skin, tittering how she could sense the sting underneath her palm. But honestly, Ray could barely feel it, leaving the mild injury to his indestructibility to deal with since he had everything he needed in his arms, drained from the last few days of constant disarray and relentless voices clamouring for their attention. 
Although they hadn't been teaching very long - three weeks max - the couple quickly learned the price of solitude, learning that the essence of silence was golden. 
No screams, no arguments, no insults or snappy comebacks. Just holding each other and appreciating the stillness - a moment of grounding for the both of them. 
"This is nice..." Ray muttered, pressing his lips to her neck as she exhaled - a long, heavy breath carrying the world's weight. He knew she was stressed, seeing how her shoulders slumped and her head fell forward, knocking his shoulder as he curled his arms around her delicate figure. Like a leaf shaking in the wind. 
"We're hugging in a broom cupboard with a class full of children who want to kill each other," (y/n) replied dryly, voice muffled in his jacket's lapel. Still, despite her monotone response, she didn't let go, clutching at his body and nuzzling into his chest, secretly loving how he'd dabbed a little cologne on his cravat before haphazardly tying and stuffing it down his shirt. 
She couldn't help but feel sarcastic and snappy, tired from days of constant pressure and problems. Her clothes were too stuffy and restrictive, her toes longing to wriggle free from her heels, but they had to soldier on to save the school. A miserable, lamentable thought. 
"You want me to stop?" Ray hummed, but he didn't let go. Never. He knew her answer, stroking her hair as she whined and snuggled closer. 
"No..." she sounded pathetic, arms loosely curled around his torso as he chuckled. 
"I can hear you worrying..." the man whispered, beginning to sway slightly when a deafening shriek vibrated through the brickwork. It sounded girlish and shrill - possibly Mika or Miriam - and was almost certainly the work of Chapa and her creepy Halloween mask. 
They ignored it, pretending there was cotton wool in their ears whilst the bedlam reigned next door, anything for a second longer to themselves. Ray's lips found her cheek and temple, lips chirping like songbirds as he smooched against her skin, the ticklish sensation making (y/n)'s nose wrinkle and mouth twitch upwards. 
"I wouldn't say it's worrying...more stewing."
"So, Bose is obsessed with soup, and you like stew?" He was a doofus, making his wife roll her eyes and limply thwack his shoulder. Yet a smile was growing on her face because it was such a Ray thing to say. It was stupid, and his voice held that forever confused lilt like everything was a puzzle to him, but it was cute and endearing. She pulled her head up to look at him like he was adorable, not stupid.
"No, silly doofus..." (y/n) giggled, pecking his lips briefly when he smiled proudly, simply because he made her happy. 
"I'm just...we've barely spent any time together this week."
"Sure, we have. We're together all the time." Ray frowned, knowing he'd be fuming if he'd been denied his sweet girl all week. They'd eaten together, slept next to each other, woken up to each other, shared breakfast, co-taught classes, sorted through the bills--just done the usual married couple stuff. 
It was tedious and stressful, balancing work and home life in one building, but they were okay - together like always. 
"With children around us. Screaming. Fighting. Telling us we're wrong while they know everything." (y/n), however, begged to differ. She wasn't stupid, but perhaps just a little paranoid. 
This was the road to a loveless marriage, all work and no play, which terrified her. Her fingers squeezed his shoulders, deeply worried at the thought of drifting apart, and it had only been a handful of days of little affection. Of course, the kids meant well, but they were the anti-romantics. They had to find secret clinches in cupboards when the Man Cave was their territory--their place to rendezvous. 
"I just want one evening where it's me and you, no interruptions, just...us stuff."
"Okay, then, how about we watch a movie tonight? Rom-com? You pick?" Ray suggested softly, hands sliding down to grip her waist, thumbs rubbing above her hipbones. She laughed breathily, glancing at her feet before finding those blue eyes again, spinning a lock of his hair around her finger - she was hunting. 
"I was thinking something else..." she countered, sounding sultry and soft like butter.
"Okay, how about I run you a bubble bath? I'll use the fancy soap..." The hero countered, the invitation flying over his head and into the wall, making his wife's eyebrows twitch. Pursing her lips, she tried again, eager to have him to herself, although she didn't usually have to work for it. 
"Maybe something we could do together?" She proposed, tongue darting out to moisten her lips, tummy fluttering when his eyes watched the motion. 
The pinkish glimpse of her inner bottom lip teased him as she whined and draped her arms around his neck, chest pressed against his so he could feel her lace undergarment poking through. 
"How about Twister? We haven't played it since Henry fell on top of Charlotte, and they almost--" But, for one so smooth when in action, Ray was dense--like the plank of wood they carved his brain out of. 
(y/n) groaned at his innocent stare, desperately wishing she'd see two blackened eyes hungrily gazing back. She knew why she felt so run down now, flipping through the calendar in her brain to mark the last time she got dicked down. It had been days ago, practically a lifetime, for someone with an incubus at her fingertips, and it frustrated her. 
Just an hour was all it would take, but that was few and far between when her husband thought more of bubble baths and board games than a night between the sheets. He withered at her displeasure, wondering where he went wrong, but (y/n) supposed she'd have to spell it out for him. 
"Sex, Raymond. I want to have sex!" She exclaimed, holding his pink cheeks and boring into his eyes as his lips parted in surprise. Typically, he was the forward one, plodding in like an elephant when he craved her pleasure. But this made him think, cogs ticking for a moment before he raised an eyebrow--as confused and doofy as always. 
"...With me?"
"No, I was thinking with some other floppy-haired doofus who wears cute t-shirts," his sweet girl retorted dryly, rolling her eyes because that was the first thing he said. Rizzmaster Ray was back, the smoothest operator in Swellview. 
"Of course, I meant you."
"Oh!... You think I'm cute?" He grinned cheekily, practically buzzing with enamouring, boyish charm as he basked in her love. It made him feel special, every moment like the first when he realised that she wanted to do grown-up things...with him! He still got butterflies, and they blocked out the arguing in the next room as they giggled. 
"I think you're adorable, but that's beside the point," (y/n) noted, casting her mind back to when he had her in their bed, waking her up the right way. "Y'know, we were a little rushed the other day..."
"Don't even get me started..." Ray groaned, closing his eyes and seeing her gorgeous body painted on his eyelids. Her thighs muffling his world, eyes closed, mouth open, her body in the morning light - he'd never been more thankful for windows, wondering what he'd missed in their old home's artificial glare. 
"And you didn't even get a chance to fuck me...You know I was walking funny for an hour after. Made me cum so hard, Captain..." Her mouth was hot against his ear, dipping low - barely above a whisper - and gentle as her fingers ran down his throat and chest, igniting fire where they touched. It was like a secret between them, navels pushed together as he inhaled sharply, one hand resting on her ass warningly. 
"Tell me why I shouldn't get you on your knees right now..." he growled, kneading whatever flesh he could reach as her lips ghosted his, barely brushing together. He didn't care if time was precious; so was she, and she could handle the problem she caused. 
"You could..." the woman hummed, fingertips dangerously dancing down the line of buttons on his shirt, passing his belly button. 
"Think you deserve a little attention. I could just drop right now and suck you off. Wrap my lips around your cock until you're cumming down my throat--wouldn't take long. Know why?"
"Fuck---why?" Ray asked thickly, choking when she cupped him through his suit pants, grinning like a vixen when she felt his turgid length. She wasn't the only one feeling a little...pent-up after missing her body the past few days. 
"'Cause you haven't taken your eyes off my ass in this skirt once. Don't think I haven't seen you drooling over it..." she teased, gently stroking against his length, smirking when he grew beneath her touch until he strained against the stiff, navy material. 
"Makes me so fucking hard..." He didn't need to confess; she knew it--saw it in the way he tilted his head back and spoke in feeble groans, swallowing with a dry mouth as she ran kisses down his neck. They stumbled around the room, bumping into the old chalkboard until a suspicious, ass-shaped smudge ran across it, not that they cared. 
Ray was desperate to find a surface--any surface where he could bend her over and take his fill. Pots clattered on the floor as they jostled, more taken with wandering hands and rough kisses than watching where they were going. Yet he couldn't find purchase and settled for holding her figure against his, debating if the floor would be any good as she squeezed his outline. 
"Wanna suck your cock so bad, doofus." She purred, throaty and wet, as he gasped, sweat dappling on his brow from the desperation. Three days was too long when he was so used to having her daily. 
"Get on your knees, then."
"Of course, Captain--tonight," (y/n) promised, smirking wickedly as she wrenched her hands away and stepped back, fighting the urge to do as he said. Submitting would be too easy, and she still hadn't forgotten how he'd left her legless and delirious that morning, boasting about his new record. 
This was his just reward, standing there with an obvious tenting in his riding trousers, even though it felt like punishment for her, too. An ache settled between her thighs, calling for her husband to do his husbandly duties. Still, she refrained, glancing at her elegant watch and baulking at the time. Goodness! The children! The scandal!
"What?--Sweet girl, w-what? Come back!" Ray yelped, feeling like he could collapse. His eyes almost fell out of his head when the electricity between them vanished - burning passion turning frigid as she backed off. 
He stared after her, lightheaded and dazed as his cock throbbed, but she made no move to seduce him any further. He hoped, begged, and prayed that she was stripping that blouse and skirt off, but she merely straightened the wrinkled suit, smoothing the arms and patting down her ruffled hair before turning on her heel. And it was like a punch to the butterflies in his gut. 
It was like nothing had happened at all, his wife looking like the respectable lady she always was as she glanced at the door to the classroom. Her eyes settled on his rapidly rising and falling chest before drifting to the apex of his thighs, and he swore she licked her lips, but it must've been a mind trick. After all, he stood in shambles as she grinned wickedly, proud of the mess she'd made. 
"We have a class to teach, Raymond. The children are expecting us, so I'll see you out there," (y/n) told him curtly as she rested a hand on the doorknob, knowing he'd need a second to sort himself out. Perhaps it was a little evil, and her lusting heart cursed her for ruining its fun before it started, but she promised it would be worth it. 
Tonight, when they fell into bed with all their worries over, he'd pin her down and... That would be worth the wait. 
"Wha--hey! (y/n)! Fuck!" Although she could've told him that. Ray cursed and nearly tripped over his feet as he watched his wife slink out of the room, surrounding herself with children to ensure he couldn't hunt her down and bend her over a desk. 
It was the world's best defence, yet he found himself defenceless, knowing it would look suspicious if she began teaching without him. He had a few minutes at most, staring longingly at the door she disappeared through and feeling her lips on his again. 
Tonight can't come soon enough, Ray thought, sliding down the wall with a hand pressed against his forehead. He wouldn't find release now; even though he wanted to, he'd wait for the opportune moment, turning his thoughts elsewhere, banishing those of his precious wife next door, flaunting herself in that skirt. 
That goddamn skirt. 
Out in the classroom, the kids bickered amongst themselves but were thankfully sat at their desks as (y/n) sauntered in. 
There was a cocky swing to her hips, a spring in her step, and a bright smile as she faced her pupils, although four were slightly confused at Ray's disappearance. Percy and Miriam sat on the rickety, old health hazards Bose had found, the boy in the wheelchair and the girl on the termite stool. They looked uncomfortable but didn't show it, beaming back pleasantly, eager to learn as the heroine thought about what they could do. 
The plan was to make them want to leave - the thought alone was enough to make her tummy feel queasy - and whilst (y/n) didn't like the idea of being mean, she didn't let it show, except for rubbing her sweaty palms. 
"Where's Ray?" Mika asked, blinking innocently as her teacher paused beside her desk, pursing her lips and thinking rapidly. She froze, stuttering as Danger Force looked at her strangely - some more clued in than others. 
"Um...he's tying his shoelaces," the woman replied dumbly, but it was all she could think of on her feet. The newcomers seemed to buy it, bobbing and nodding gently as they tried to get comfy on their chairs. Chapa didn't believe it, still looking creepy in her Halloween mask. 
"He was wearing boots..." she remarked dryly, and her friends followed suit. As confident as that skirt suit made her, she was acting weird. Miles craned his head around her body to try and peek into the cupboard, wondering where the hero had disappeared. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, jumping into his view before he could spot anything, chuckling nervously as she looked for a distraction. 
"Boots can have laces..." she said anxiously before spotting a mini whiteboard tucked into a corner. A small smile spread across her cheeks as she pulled it out in the middle of the room, gesturing for the kids to nudge their desks around to face it. 
"No, they don't."
"Where's Teacher?" Miriam asked sweetly, peering up at the lovely lady with her round, hazel eyes, making her stumble a little. How could one lie to a face like that? But (y/n) had to try, gulping the lump in her throat as Mika followed her every move, sensing that Ray was...up to something. 
"Uh, he's coming. A problem...came up."
"A problem?" Bose asked, eyelashes fluttering as his desk span around, forming a neat little circle with the others as the woman set up everything in the centre for her and Ray to teach. 
She adjusted the board, found some dry-erase markers, and dragged one of her husband's beloved bouncy ball chairs for him to bounce on. The day's lesson was supposed to be math, not her doofus' strongest subject, but she loved it, practically buzzing at the thought of numbers and such. Scribbling the word on the board, she hoped he wouldn't be too long, knowing she wasn't good at this lying thing. 
"Yeah, I guess..."
"Is it a big problem, Miss?" Percy inquired, worried that his instructor was having difficulties. If anything was wrong, he'd be the first to volunteer, although his frown deepened when Mrs Manchester snorted and coughed, a wobbly smile struggling to stay off her face. What was wrong with her now?
"You could say that..." (y/n) giggled to herself quietly, picturing her grumpy lover and his problem. She had no idea how he was dealing with it, but her tummy fluttered at what her brain conjured up. While she was squealing like a schoolgirl, the kids exchanged some bored and mildly disgusted glances, putting two and two together and then stopping. They didn't dare imagine what she was grinning about. 
"Do we even want to know?"
"No--it's nothing. We--I mean, he--I mean...nothing. Oh look, it's Professor Manchester, everybody," the heroine stammered before catching a glimpse of her husband. He strolled out of the cupboard like nothing was wrong, crossing his jacket across his chest and clearing his throat - nothing out of the ordinary, save for his dark eyes. 
They landed on his sweet girl, or so he deemed her, shooting her a knowing look as he approached to give her a chaste kiss and fleeting embrace, ready to educate. His hands squeezed her hips as he greeted the children, pretending nothing was wrong when they chatted and squirmed in their seats excitedly. 
"The minute we're alone, sweet girl..." he whispered hotly, mouth beside her ear so the kids couldn't hear him. A shiver ran through her body as she looked up at him and nodded weakly, pupils dilating and heart racing. 
"Okay, everybody, settle down. It's learning time..." (y/n) called to the kids, clapping her hands to mask how she fanned her warm cheeks. That man would be the death of her, never once straying from behind her as she beamed at the group. Together again, she lit up the room with her doofus, knowing he'd probably had to coach himself into calming down - dull thoughts of taxes, golf, and politicians. 
"Right, you are, pretty girl," Ray sighed, still all soft and gooey-eyed for his wife, even if she liked to tease him in closets like that.
"Now, children, what is math? Can you touch it? Can you hold it in your hand? If you shake it, would it rattle?"
"I don't think I've ever shaken math, doofus," his wife retorted with a bemused smile, lightly gripping his arm. He was adorable, pretending like he knew anything about the subject as she felt his biceps. Luckily, the kids followed anything he said, ignoring the lesson yet eager to trick Percy and Miriam into leaving, even if they were ever so lovely. 
"Over the next forty-five minutes, we're gonna find out together the answer to all these questions and more... And I think, along the way, we're gonna have a little bit of fun," the man told the children dreamily, booping his darling wife's nose, making her wrinkle it like a bunny. 
Meanwhile, as he talked nonsense, Chapa sneakily reached across to the keenly listening Brits, handing her hands behind the desk as she lightly zapped both with a small burst of lightning. Percy and Miriam jumped, freezing in their painful seats as all their hairs stood on end, shocked by what had just mysteriously happened. 
"Ahh!"
"Good heavens! My termite bench just gave me quite a shock!" Miriam gasped, her brother too stunned to speak for a minute. 
"Bet it hurt, right?" Chapa questioned darkly, peering at the polite children behind her creepy, babyish mask. But they didn't appear too troubled, annoyingly refusing to stand up from the infested wood since that would be terribly rude and discourteous to their generous hosts. 
"Indeed, it did," Percy nodded, only for his ginger sister to stop him, a gentle look coming over her. 
"But you know, Percy, that brief pain made me grateful for all the time I'm not in pain!" She sighed, practically angelic in everything she did and said, as her fellow students smacked their foreheads and internally groaned. What kind of kid thought like that? She had to be hiding a saint under that headscarf, fluttering her eyelashes innocently as her rosy, freckled cheeks twitched into a smile - almost heaven-sent. 
"Quite so! It seems like the lessons at this school go beyond what can be learned from books alone."
"What?" (y/n) murmured dryly, quirking an eyebrow at the boy and his Gospel-like ridiculous words. She placed her hands on Ray's shoulders as he plopped onto the bouncy chair, leaning his arms on the backrest while he, too, gave the orphans a bored glance. She almost felt bad for them, wondering what they'd endured to be grateful for the absence of pain. Still, Percy was just annoying - kissing ass with his smarmy ideas. 
"May I also say I love your festive mask!" Miriam told Chapa kindly, the disguise's creepiness barely affecting her as she beamed like sunshine. It was sickening to the cold, callous girl, who growled as they tried another trick. 
"Yeah, I love yours, too..." She sassed, much to the English girl's confusion, but she quickly saw what Bose was trying to do, spotting a pencil high above their heads. Something more menacing would've been better, but the boy could barely lift the graphite, so she laid the acting on thick.
"Look! A floating pencil!"
"Oh no, this place is haunted!..." Ray remarked tiredly, barely using a tenth of Chapa's excitement since he was too entranced by his wife's light massage, her fingers expertly kneading the knots in his shoulders. He needed it more than he realised, practically purring putty in her hands as Percy and Miriam gawped at the hovering pencil, wondering which spirit was haunting them. And surprisingly, they were superstitious, buying the deception without a doubt, more like a reverent trust. 
"Souuuuup!" Bose groaned quietly, hoping the new students didn't notice his twitching hands or ghostly noises. Still, thankfully, they were too bewitched to notice or care. To them, this was a sign from the dead, and who were they to ignore such a command?
"Spirits? Can you hear us? Tell Princess Diana that our country misses her so!" Miriam begged the floating pencil, sounding utterly ridiculous but sweet with her innocence. 
"Seriously? Lady Diana?" (y/n) scoffed, her hands settling on Ray's shoulders at the sight of--was that tears in their eyes? She didn't know why they'd want to cry over a woman dead for nearly thirty or why such a royal lady would haunt a pencil. Still, no one could tell them anything - a painful view for her and Mika, the Smarties. 
"And we hope she's having all the soup her heart desires!" That was the final straw. Bose released the pencil with a huff, slumping in his seat like Chapa when Percy faced the soup ghost head-on rather than fleeing, obviously not frightened. It was frustrating, yet...
"I'm sorry. I can't get over this..." Miles spoke before turning to the kids as if he couldn't cope with their relentless good manners. "When you were at the bus station, where did you go to the bathroom?!"
"Seriously? That's the bit you're still focusing on?" Miss Danger asked him flatly, fingertips dancing around Ray's freshly shaven throat and jaw. The boy couldn't let it go, pleading with a baffled Miriam and Percy to tell him where they...went, even though it was obvious. 
And amongst the termite stool, soup ghost, and Diana, Princess of Goddamn Wales, he still wanted to know which was Ray's last straw. 
"All right, that's it! Test of strength!" He declared, abruptly standing from his bouncy chair, despite how it felt to be under his wife's touch. The longer he sat and listened to them spouting their accented gibberish, the longer he had to wait until he could throw her on their mattress, so he took action, stomping over to the high striker. 
Bose helped Mika push her desk out of the way, creating more room for whichever unfortunate soul the headmaster chose to use his contraption. (y/n) closely behind, standing in front of a highly bored Schwoz and wondering what her lover had planned - whatever it was, it wouldn't be good. 
"You, Benedict Cumberbutt! Get up here!" He ordered Percy curtly, but the short boy didn't grumble like any polite person. He rose from the antique wheelchair and quickly hobbled over to his teacher, ready and willing to do whatever was instructed. 
"Take this hammer. Hit that, and try to get Professor Schwoz to ring the bell."
"Hello!" Schwoz waved at the puzzled children, who'd seen many strange things in their brief yet tumultuous lives, but the fuzzy little weirdo had to be one of the most peculiar. Still, Percy didn't argue, taking an old, woodworm-riddled hammer from Ray, which he had to use all his might to lift high above his head. 
"I shall try my level my best!"
"Um, doofus, are you sure this is safe? Will it even make them leave?" (y/n) hissed worriedly as he urged her to move back, ensuring he was in front of her for when the boy whacked the target. She glanced at how Percy strained to raise the hammer, looking like he was about to topple over, and she didn't want to know what would happen to Schwoz, aware of Ray's favourite tricks. 
Yet he gathered her in his arms once she and the other kids were far enough away, kissing her gently as he enjoyed her body against his. Perhaps it was a little mean, but he was sure it would drive them out, and Schwoz would survive. Probably. 
"See the head on that hammer?" He whispered in her ear before pecking the inch of skin below it. 
"I swapped it out with a Bolivian Boom Stone."
"Please, tell me you didn't..." (y/n) sighed, hiding behind her hands, although she couldn't help but peek through her fingers as her husband giggled impishly into her neck. No wonder he looked so excited, nearly trembling as he squeezed her waist and smooched her throat before eyeing Percy, who was ready to hit the target. 
"Shhhh! Here we go!" He squealed, curling around her protectively as the clueless children watched closely. 
"For the Princess!" Percy cried, hitching the hammer over his shoulder before he slammed it down with a mighty swing. The second it hit the high striker, the head exploded in a powerful, blue fireball, sending sparks, smoke, and dust through the air - him, too. The poor kid was blasted through the roof, coming down and landing on the cold, hard floor with a dull thud as Miriam gasped in horror. 
(y/n) doubted that Lady Di would be impressed with that performance. 
"My brother!" The young girl shrieked, running over to Percy's side with a wretched expression. 
"My knitting!" Schwoz whimpered, too, although he wasn't cooked like the boy was - just a little smoky. Percy was toast, though, lying on the tiles, moaning and groaning, covered in soot. He was dazed and confused, swearing he couldn't see, think, or hear correctly, yet he clambered to his feet, hunched over a desk for support as his sister tittered and fussed. 
They had no idea what had happened, but they always grinned and bore the pain with good humour and a sweet smile. 
"It's okay! I've always wanted to fly!" He exclaimed happily, a slight groan in his voice, but he was irritatingly resilient, making the Danger Force team groan and curse the day he was born. Even if Miriam was delighted that he was okay, they were devastated, barely holding back their grumbles since nothing they did could make them leave. 
The school day was nearly over, and they'd have to try again tomorrow, but not before dealing with the dozens of emergencies that came through while entertaining Little Miss Muffet and her brother. Ray's wishes for a quiet moment wouldn't come true so soon...
~Early the following day ~
In all her days as a superhero, (y/n) had never experienced such a rough night. 
Percy and Miriam didn't budge from their respective stool or chairs. They listened intently to whatever the Danger Force team threw their way until the final bell rang to signal school was out. Walking out the doors with bright smiles and cheery waves, they promised to return tomorrow, which Ray couldn't wait for, especially since he had to go into the city to fight crime. 
His special night turned into a disaster when they saw the mountain of emergency calls on the supercomputer, waiting for whichever hero to respond. There were dozens of voicemails, more than he'd ever left hanging. He had no choice but to apologise to his precious wife before sending her and the kids on missions. 
Intimacy was forgotten, and so was that moment alone, and whilst (y/n) didn't complain, taking Chapa to go and save a hippie in a tree, she was disappointed. And that made him mad, meaning that by the time the sun crept over the hills, he was beyond pissed - borderline insane. 
An agonising twelve hours later, the crew trudged into the Man's Nest, where Schwoz had napped, waiting for their return. It was nice that someone could sleep - poor Mika could barely keep her eyes open as she arrived in the tubes, every inch of her body hurting. 
"Kill me. Kill me now..." (y/n) grumbled as they hobbled down the steps, barely functioning after back-to-back missions and zero sleep. She tried to power-nap during the brief intermissions between rescues but never switched off, so she cried out for her bed, even if it wasn't how she and Ray had hoped. 
The kids grunted in agreement as they shuffled onto the floor, their Captain clumsily following behind them with his eyes barely open. He'd been uncharacteristically silent during the trip back, slumping on his wife's shoulder as she navigated the route home. Still, everyone was too tired to notice his maddened ramblings and bizarre behaviour. 
"I'm so tired..." Mika groaned before yawning, so sleepy that she accidentally activated her super-scream. A small shockwave rumbled through the air, hitting Schwoz where he napped - upside from a pole across the ceiling, looking like a goddamn bat. It couldn't be comfortable, sleeping with all the blood rushing to his brain, but it was just another weird Schwoz habit, even if no one could get used to it. 
"Sorry..." She told him tiredly when he hit the floor with a squeak, wondering what had hit him as he scrambled to his feet, clad in thick, navy blue plaid pyjamas. 
But it wasn't entirely her fault; even Miles was affected, stretching as he yawned, and when he raised his arm, he accidentally teleported, spooking his sister when he appeared beside her in a flash of light and slumped on the couch. 
"Where have you beens all night?" Schwoz asked, having fallen asleep waiting for them, and it hadn't been a restful period. 
"Fighting crime..." Bose replied, and if any of them felt any better, they would've been ecstatic to tell the genius all about it. The adults couldn't do it single-handedly, so for once, Ray and (y/n) relented, allowing them to deal with minor emergencies. At the same time, they took the big stuff like robberies, villains, and murders, which really affected the guy. 
Ray muttered gibberish as he mushed his face into his sweet girl's shoulder and collapsed over the couch, scrubbing his gloved hand over his face. (y/n) absentmindedly petted his ruffled hair, head jerking when she nearly nodded off, standing up. Yet she refused to fall asleep when everyone else still worked, no matter if she was a walking vegetable. 
"We had to take care of all the emergencies we missed during the day when Percy and Miriam were here," Chapa explained, ignoring how weird her mentor was acting, assuming that he was just snuggling with (y/n/n) like he always did--and they'd all learned to look over that. 
"Well, ten more emergencies came in while you were gone," Schwoz revealed, much to their horror. It was only a tiny amount, but they had nothing to give, feeling ready to collapse since it took the rest of their energy reserves to keep talking. 
But, while they all groaned, something weird happened. Ray flinched upward, standing oddly straight as he growled at no one as if he were having an argument with thin air. His lips moved, but no words came out; it sounded like a conversation as he clumsily pawed at his wife before bumbling across the room toward the front door. 
"What's wrong with Ray?" Bose asked, wondering where the hero was going in such a hurry when he'd worked himself half to death. 
"Oh no..." Schwoz gulped worriedly, staring after the man as he grumpily pushed through the glass doors, seemingly looking for something. 
He glanced at (y/n), who'd not even noticed his disappearance as she bent over at a ninety-degree angle onto the couch, dozing with her arms resting on the squishy backrest. She just wanted to close her eyes for a second, humming contently as sleep crept into her mushy mess of a brain.
"Is that a good oh no?"
"Oh, no, no! It's a bad one! (y/n/n), did you not put Ray down for a nap last night?" The small man panicked as he dashed over to the woman's side, poking her in the ribs to try and keep her awake. 
She grumbled throatily, swatting at his hand as she tried to resume her mini-nap; she deserved one. While he'd had a peaceful night, she'd been walking - in heels - for nine hours straight, had been puked on by a drunk man, choked by a wannabe supervillain, and had fought with a sumo wrestler over a turkey sandwich. She deserved that nap. 
But Schwoz wouldn't let up, grabbing her by the forearms and roughly shaking some consciousness into her because they had a different kind of emergency on their hands. Everyone assumed that Ray just liked getting his wife into bed, often seen dozing with her whenever they had a free moment, whether it be on the couch or in their room, but he needed that sleep. His superpower took a lot out of him, and bad things happened when he couldn't hold her in his arms...
"(y/n), wake up! Did you and Ray have a nap last night?!"
"Does it look like I had a nap last night? Now...Ray--Ray--Ray--Ray-Ray...My hubby, Ray..." She hummed, looking utterly stupid with that dopey grin, grumpy about not sleeping, but talking about her lover made her so silly, smiling like an idiot as she tried to think.
"Um...He likes sleeping. Sleeps on the right side of the bed. Doesn't like pyjamas. Uses..." she yawned loudly and abruptly, "peppermint toothpaste. Likes the room freezing cold 'cause he's this big...warm...doo--doofus."
"Yes, but did he have a nap?!" Schwoz asked exasperatedly, patting her cheek to try and make her focus. He didn't care if she knew his nighttime routine like the back of her hand, only that it was usually her job to ensure he got enough sleep. God knows that man would run around all day if no one was there to tempt him into the bedroom. 
"Um...no?" She offered awkwardly, suddenly feeling a little soberer as her skin stung, and a terrible realisation dawned on her. "Oh, shit... I completely forgot about his nap! We were just so busy, and he seemed fine... This is bad."
"Why?" Miles asked quietly, frowning when he watched the woman rake her shaky fingers through her tussled hair, eyes bloodshot and wide. She was panicking, hugging her body, when her bottom lip wobbled like she'd done something terrible. She looked guilty and scared as she craned toward the doors, hoping to spot her husband before he went berserk. 
"If Ray doesn't get enough sleep, he turns bad until he can sleep again! And believe me, he gets real grumpy if (y/n) isn't with him!" 
"Like a good bad?" Mika asked meekly, making Schwoz look at her dryly. They didn't understand how bad this was, going beyond a quick cuddle on the couch. His dark glare made the kids shrink back, sensing the girl was clutching at straws, hoping against hope that it was a happy sneer. 
"Remember Roy, who wanted to take candy from that handsome baby?" 
"I remember Roy..." Chapa remarked when Schwoz smirked and wiggled his eyebrows, smoothing his ego when they should've been worrying about Ray. He was poking around the front porch, digging through his wife's pretty flowerbeds like a dog searching for a buried bone. It made her glance at him worriedly when he growled some indecipherable curse. 
"Yeah, he was like Ray, but evil," Miles noted, knowing he'd never forget the man's weird performance, especially that moustache. But, despite how funny he was and primarily unthreatening, the idea of an evil Captain Man terrified the children because it wouldn't be make-believe. He'd try to hurt people and behave cruelly - the anti-doofus - making them shudder at the thought. 
"That's what happens to Ray if he doesn't get enough sleep," (y/n) sighed, holding her clammy cheeks as she shook her head sadly, scolding herself for not seeing the signs because she was merely exhausted. 
And, speaking of the devil, Ray burst through the door, stumbling down the steps like a drunkard, heading for the group with a vicious snarl. He said something, sounding like he was talking to Chapa. Still, no one could work out what he was saying, slurring his words until her name and laughing sounded like gibberish - either way, he looked furiously determined. 
"Schwoz! Do you still keep your flesh-eating bacteria in this old mayonnaise jar?" He asked through a yawn, knocking into his sweet girl as she stared at him in alarm, terrified that he even wanted to hold that much in his hand. It was one of the genius' more revolting experiments, and she didn't like to mess with it, having watched the lethal gunge strip melt the meat off a chicken drumstick in ten seconds flat. 
"No, doofus, don't touch that!" She ordered him, tentatively reaching out to take it off him before he did himself mischief, but Ray refused. He whined at her defiantly, sounding like a moody child as he pulled the jar out of her reach and unscrewed the lid. Everyone jumped back in terror when the bacteria breathed fresh air, quietly hissing and fizzing like they whispered for flesh, and no one fancied being its dinner. 
"Answered my own question. I'mma go throw it on those kids." Ray sniffed casually, spinning clumsily on his heel as if he was going to hunt down Percy and Miriam, wherever they lived, and coat them in that goop... 
As annoying as they were, no one deserved that, making his friends cringe and scream when he tried to walk away. 
"No, Roy--I mean, Ray, you shouldn't do that!" (y/n) told him, reaching out to catch his arm before he could stomp away. Luckily, the man couldn't ignore his precious girl, even in his drained state, turning around to meet her eye with a dumb expression. He looked rough, hair all unkempt and fluffy - so unlike his usual groomed mane - and his skin looked dull and blotchy, but he tried his best to focus on his wife when his heart pulled toward her. 
"Why not, darlin'?" He pouted, behaving only because she was watching. 
"Um...it might get on you, and I don't want to ruin this handsome face!" She laughed nervously, cupping his cheeks whilst edging away from the putrid jar, which she swore hissed at her. He sighed at her touch, head lolling forward like he could go to sleep right then and there, but he refused, shaking his body to snap out of it - although laying down with her for a little while didn't sound so bad. 
"I'm indestructible...and so tired!" He yawned, moving to kiss her forehead, but it was more of a headbutt, making (y/n) yelp. As she rubbed her sore skull, the doofus plodded away, swearing he didn't need to sleep because he had a job to get rid of those British kids if it was the last thing he did. 
"But it still might eat off all of your hair!" Schwoz called after him, matching the heroine's worry when the man headed toward the door again. 
"No! Not the floppy floof!" (y/n) whimpered childishly, stamping her foot as her exhaustion made her stroppy. She pouted and crossed her arms, looking like a scolded toddler at the thought of losing one of her favourite doofy features. But Ray wasn't listening, even as the bacteria hungered for sustenance. 
"Shut up, bacteria! Leave me alone! My wife says I'm so...handsome!" He rambled, pushing the door open with a limp arm as he cradled the mayo jar to his chest. 
His sweet girl longed to go after him, feeling weepy and tired that she had jelly legs, so it was up to Schwoz to chase after him while the kids rallied around her. 
"Okay, new problem. We can't let Ray throw that flesh-eating bacteria on Percy and Miriam," Mika sighed, patting the woman soothingly on the back as her friends agreed, even Chapa. She was mean and ruthless, but she only wanted to scare them away, not melt them like butter, so, as much as it played against her morals, she knew they had to stop the man. 
And that wouldn't be easy after staying up all night. 
"Step one--we stay awake. If we fall asleep, we can't protect Percy and Miriam." She nodded, steeling herself and ignoring her desperate wish to curl up in a ball and sleep. It was okay; she'd pulled all-nighters before, although it wasn't on a school night. 
"You sure? You guys haven't stopped since yesterday afternoon," (y/n) fretted, noticing the bags under their eyes and how droopy Mika looked. And, when she tucked her fingers under Chapa's chin, analysing her worriedly, the girl didn't even jerk away with blushing cheeks, holding her eyelids shut for a long second. 
"We're fine, (y/n/n). School starts in ten minutes," Miles assured her, ignoring how his eyes couldn't focus on anything for more than ten seconds. 
"Good. We can make it ten minutes."
"Yeah! I'm not tired at all!" Bose smiled cockily, reclining against the couch to try and convince their only sane teacher. They had no idea how the lesson would go if Ray was off his rocker, but one thing was for sure - sleep was their enemy, and they were on their guard. 
Nope, they wouldn't drop off. They were superheroes, and sleep was for the weak. Definitely. Nothing would get past them, no matter if they just closed their eyes for a quick second...counting sheep...dreaming of bedtime...pillows and cotton wool. So...very...sleepy.
~
Or not. The second the kids sat down at their desks, bones aching after so much hard work, a wave of sleepiness washed over them. 
The class had barely begun, yet their heads dipped, resting on their open books and tables as Percy and Miriam stood silently in the doorway. They were baffled to see their fellow students snoring away with the lovely Mrs Manchester swaying on the stage with bleary eyes and dull reflexes. She greeted them quietly, waving weakly as she rubbed her eyes, looking dreadful without a touch of concealer and blush for her pesky complexion. 
"Hello, P-Piriam and Mercy...welcome to your s-second day," (y/n) spoke softly, bumbling over those tricky syllables as the children frowned in concern. They'd never comment on her appearance - they were far too polite to tell her that her blouse wasn't buttoned up correctly and her jacket looked dirty - but she was acting weird and looked worse. 
"Miss...are you all right? Miriam asked kindly, wondering why the woman who seemed so sharp yesterday was swaying from side to side as she waited for her crazed husband. 
"Yes, thank you. I am exquisite! Would you be so kind as to join your fellow academics of the scholarly arts?" She asked, gesturing to their rickety seats as she mimicked their accents, unable to help herself. Nothing made sense; she smiled dreamily at the confused girl as she nearly tripped over her feet since the world felt fuzzy. 
"Um...hello, schoolmates?" Percy called out tentatively, scared to sit down as they slumbered silently on their desks, sniffling and snuffling in their sleep but not replying. 
"Oh, Percy! What's wrong with them?--"
"I'm awake!" The siblings peered at the superhero kids, alarmed at how Mika suddenly shot up with wide eyes and stiff limbs, screaming to the heavens. She swore she'd only closed her eyes briefly, waking her friends up simultaneously, so they all saw that they'd been napping for fifteen minutes or more. (y/n) was too nice to wake them up, hoping they could catch a few winks before Ray turned up, wherever he was. 
"Is there something wrong?" The polite boy asked warmly, and the kids all turned to stare at them, thankfully noticing the lack of mayo. How long had they been standing there?
"Yes! You guys gotta get out of here!" Mika told them urgently, fearing what her boss would do when he found them. Sweet girl or no sweet girl, she felt that, at this point, Ray was too tired to listen to anyone. 
"We would never abandon you in a time of need!"
"No, SWAG for life, I say!"
"And so say I!" Miriam and Percy declared, refusing to flee when there was danger. Whilst it was noble and valiant of them, especially how they thumped their clenched fists against their chests like some kind of oath, it made their new friends groan in frustration. They couldn't help but be nice, even though it was for their own good--and it was becoming grating. 
"(y/n), have you seen Ray?" Suddenly, Schwoz burst into the room from the cupboard, looking frantic and nervous as his eyes scoured the room for the fatigued hero. 
"If I had, we'd be sleeping by now," the heroine replied, only to pause her temple massage when a thought hit her, "Wait, I thought he was with you!"
"Yah...he's not."
"Schwoz!" (y/n) facepalmed, gaze flickering to Miriam and Percy as they smiled and waved pleasantly. Bless them - they didn't understand what was happening, although she wasn't sure if they'd run away screaming if they knew the anti-doofus was hunting them with murderous bacteria. They'd probably through it a tea party, not that they'd let Ray near them. 
Her poor doofus was probably scared, alone, and confused, blinded by his exhaustion, which made her heart throb and long to guide him to their room. They'd nap for ten hours at least, then some more until he forgot about the mayonnaise and became his silly, lovable self again. She hated the thought of everyone fearing him - it wasn't his fault. 
"Okay, out the door! Let's go--Let's go--s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go, s'go!" Mika shouted, taking charge of the situation as the adults bickered, the heroine scolding Schwoz for somehow losing a six-foot bumbling man. 
But there was no time for arguing as they ushered the orphans outside, pulling the big, heavy, wooden doors open--only to see Roy waiting menacingly on the porch. He looked worse than before, barely having the strength to don his dandy attire, so his shirt and jacket were rumpled, cravat pulled loose down his front, and his pants didn't look ironed. He hadn't had a wash or bothered to brush his hair since that took more effort than he had, yet the mayonnaise jar was still tightly in his palm. 
His wife whimpered at how...awful he looked, glaring at poor Percy and Miriam as they cowered in the doorway, terrified of the insane glint in his eye. That wasn't the doofus she married, all red-faced and crazy, with eyes for nothing but murder. 
"Cheerio, kiddies! Who's hungry for mayonnaise?!" Ray cackled evilly, brandishing the jar in the horrified kids' faces, and even Danger Force was scared. They shrieked in terror, Bose trembling and hiding in (y/n)'s arms, as Chapa and Miles pushed him back a few paces and attempted to close the doors--anything to keep him out. Meanwhile, Mika pulled Percy and Miriam further into the classroom, knowing they'd have to defend them from there. 
"Into the closet, Canadians!" Bose instructed them, meaning well, even if he was a little confused. 
"Is there something wrong with Teacher?" Percy snivelled at (y/n) as she guided him and his sister into the back room, praying they'd be safe there. It broke her heart to hear his question, not knowing how to explain to the doe-eyed boy that her husband wanted to watch the flesh melt off their bones, so she just smiled and shoved him behind the door. 
"Yes! Everything's fine--just don't come out until we tell you!" She laughed nervously as if her frenzied actions didn't shout the opposite. They slammed the door shut, lamenting that there was a lock, but they stood fast, Mika and Bose working to block the door while the heroine protected them. 
Her husband finally shouldered in the door, unable to direct his sausage-like fingers to use the handle. Still, he made it, delirious and determined to hunt down those kids. But (y/n) wouldn't let him, knowing that while it broke her heart, she'd whack him if she had to, resolved to keep her babies safe, no matter what. 
And she supposed that, even if it was for a little while, and even if they were annoyingly mannerly, Percy and Miriam fell into that category. Her duty was to keep them safe, especially from the thing haunting her husband. 
"Where are those, Brits, (y/n)? I gotta get rid of those kids!" Ray - or Roy - asked gruffly, staring at his trembling with uncommonly dark and harsh eyes, unlike the innocent blue she was used to. 
She tried not to take it to heart as she faced him, arms crossed across her chest to shield her love from his malice - telling herself that her doofus would never use her real name in such a casual fashion. Her husband only called her by the sweetest words, saying them with love and affection, and he'd never sneer at his students like that. 
"Doofus, you need to sleep! Why don't we just go lie down? Hmmm?" She offered gently, resting her flat palms on his chest as she fluttered her eyelashes to entice him, which worked briefly. The man laid his hands on her hips, gaze softening at her touch and sweet proposal, and it sounded heavenly, almost enough to tempt him into dropping the jar, but he shook his head and growled. 
"Which I'll never get as long as they're here! We'll sleep when they're gone!"
"Okay, Raymond, if you act like a child, I will treat you like a child," (y/n) growled, clutching his untucked shirt as she frowned and dug her heels into the floor.
"You've got two options, mister. Come to bed with me right now, or I'll drag your ass there myself, and you'll sleep alone." She huffed, folding her arms to show she meant business. No one else dared to meet Roy's glare, but she bravely blocked him with her body as he pouted, something deep down in his heart telling his sleepy brain that its match wasn't happy. The aching in his chest didn't cease, but he ignored it, even if her sad stare made it worse. 
"...Third option--spin move!" He snapped rebelliously and, much to her shock, dashed to dodge past her. She was expecting some trick, moving in time with the hulking hero, but for someone so bulky, he was agile, wriggling past her defences to charge at the kids - the last line of defence. 
With Miss Danger tripping over herself, Chapa stepped up, conjuring a mighty jolt of electricity to shock Ray in the chest. It stunned him briefly, making him gasp and shudder as he scowled and took a moment to recover. Miles tucked himself under his arm while frozen, making (y/n) sniffle at how roughly they had to treat him. 
"Next stop--the Man's Nest!" The boy quipped, ensuring his teacher was securely in his grasp before thrusting his arm in the air, teleporting them out of the room. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief...for about five seconds. Unfortunately, Miles' inability to land correctly meant that he and Ray reappeared less than a metre away, incoherent and confused from the short trip. 
"Oh, come on! Not even out of the room?!" And no one was more upset than Miles, who frowned and stamped his foot when he noticed how miserably he'd done, perhaps even only succeeded in edging the sleepy man closer to their wards. 
"Lemme at those kids!" Ray screeched, holding the jar of flesh-eating bacteria high above his head, ready to toss it at whichever Brit came his way. Chapa pressed herself against the door, blocking him from reaching the door handle as Percy and Miriam cowered in the closet, hearing nothing but raised voices and arguing. 
"You know we can't let you do that, Raymond!" (y/n) growled, her mean glare distracting him long enough for Bose to sneak in with his telekineses. 
The hero couldn't help but feel bad as his precious girl hissed at him, allowing the kid to carefully lift the jar out of his hand and harm's way until it floated high above Ray's head. He swatted the air for it, growling for the mayo to return to him, but even he wasn't tall enough to jump and grab it. Thankfully, it wasn't too heavy for Bose to use his power, keeping him bouncing to reach it, giving his heavy-hearted wife quick peeks at his toned tummy when his shirt rose. 
Mika went next, activating his super-scream to try and knock the hero over now that he was unarmed. Yet, unfortunately, she didn't aim very well. She accidentally hit Bose, too, toppling the kid over and shattering his concentration on the jar, making it fall through the air. 
Whilst he fell to the floor, Ray stayed on his feet, confused and oblivious, until it crashed on his head, sending glass shards and thick, gloopy bacteria all over his beautiful hair. And those nasty critters were hungry. Instantly, it began to burn, chomping through his silken locks with a voracious hunger, making Ray grasp at his head in terror. 
He yelled in horror, hands coated in the goo and clumps of his hair, extra terrified in his tired state. As the hero panicked and screamed in pain, his wife rushed to his side, nervous about getting anything on her since she wasn't quite indestructible but couldn't bear to see him in pain. He raced past her, running for the front door like the outdoors could save him from the itching, creepy-crawly tingling on his scalp, much to her concern. 
"Raymond! His hair--his beautiful hair!" (y/n) blubbered, torn between chasing after him to try and wash it off and staying to keep watch. The damage was already done, and whilst she assumed Schwoz's science would fix the mess his bacteria caused, there was no helping him while he ran riot. 
"Friends!" A joyous voice called out, and the group froze. They knew that chirpy tone and polite accent anywhere. "We can stay idle no longer!"
"Are you okay?" Miriam questioned kindly as she and Percy emerged from the closet, troubled by the bizarre and horrifying noises they heard through the door. They didn't mean to drop any eaves, but...it would be rude to not offer any assistance. 
"Um...well..." (y/n) giggled nervously, scratching her head as she tried to explain everything. But how do you tell two children that your sleep-deprived husband went on a murderous rampage, and now bacteria were eating his hair? God, she wanted a nap, but at least things couldn't get much worse. 
"Hello?! What's going on in there?" She spoke too soon. The headmistress felt her heart plummet into her tummy, alive with nerves at the sound of that shrill voice. And there was only one woman it belonged to - the one with the nose she liked to stick in unwanted places. Sharona Shapen and her impeccable timing. 
She stomped into the classroom in another hideous suit: grey check with a flouncy lilac scarf, matching blouse, a little flower pin on her lapel, and a deep frown on her meerkat-like face. The kids froze upon seeing her, looking to (y/n) for help since she was supposed to be the teacher--the ringleader in their den of chaos. 
"Normal school stuff?" She said anxiously, wiping her moist palms on her jacket as she subtly straightened herself out, patting down her skirt and tucking her hair behind her ears. The heroine refused to look subpar to that clown of a woman. Still, Sharona didn't spare her a glance, finding Percy and Miriam and grinning her toothy smile when she saw them standing together - fortunately, still in one piece. 
"Ah-ha! There's my little British Bake-Offs! You're coming with me," she told them firmly in a weirdly happy voice. 
The siblings peered at her strangely, wondering why the inspector had returned so quickly when they'd barely settled into their new school. But she insisted, not taking their confusion or no for an answer. 
"What's this?"
"Whatever for?" They inquired, utterly puzzled they'd sworn their oath of allegiance or whatever, refusing to leave their friends simply because she said so. 
"I got a new school for ya!"
"We will never leave our friends," Percy replied sharply, standing shoulder to shoulder with his sister as she readily agreed. Although their time had been short and weird, they felt a strange sense of loyalty. Still, perhaps that was simply their nobility and honour shining through, making Chapa wrinkle her nose in disgust. 
"SWAG forever, I say!"
"And so say I!"
"Yeah, you're going to forget about these dopes in, like, two seconds when the horse-drawn carriage gets here," Sharona shrugged, having mysteriously found somewhere much more suitable for the orphans than the shitshow ran by that mousy woman and her handsome yet husband. 
And speaking of that smoke show, Ray rolled in, screaming and shouting like a raving lunatic as he descended from the steps to the Man's Nest. (y/n) felt her mouth go dry and her intestines clench when she saw how he clutched at his smooth, shiny, bald head, completely stripped free of hair - even a stubble. The bacteria had left nothing behind, and for a guy so caught up in his appearance, the loss, combined with his exhaustion, was devastating. 
"My hair! My beautiful hair!"
"Oh, doofus..." she mumbled, pressing a trembling hand against her cheek as he barrelled toward the group. He looked crazy in his sleek, rumpled, gunge-covered clothes, but she knew she still loved him, even if he looked like an egg. She wasn't so shallow as to focus on his lack of chocolate locks, even if she silently mourned its loss. 
"Ah, it burns! Oh, God, it burns!" He shrieked, collapsing into the antique chair that Percy had been sitting in as it rolled out the door. Seeing a bald man with superpowers wheeling himself around his school for gifted children was a strange sight, shouting and screaming to God. Miss Shapen wondered what she'd walked into, and she was glad to return to save those poor orphans from the madness. 
"What's his problem?"
"He just needs a nap--now, what's this about a horse-drawn carriage?" Chapa asked curiously, knowing her friend would get her doofus into bed once the strangers were gone, but she wanted to know where they were going. And in such luxury, at that. 
"Some billionaire in Bordertown runs a school for poor, gifted English kids," Sharona explained excitedly, eager to whisk Percy and Miriam away from the cesspit of a school so she could go and enjoy the billionaire's company--and hopefully a few of his millions. 
"Oh, does he?" Mika gasped incredulously, twirling a lock of her dark hair around her finger as she smirked at the odd woman--looking as if she knew something her friends didn't. It took a minute for (y/n) to figure it out, her brain not what it usually was when she was so tired, but then, it hit her. She didn't...did she?
"Yeah, it's a lot of paperwork to apply. I don't know how you did it!" The inspector remarked to Percy and Miriam, who looked just as flabbergasted as she did, not knowing what she was talking about. But Mika had it covered, silently smug that she'd tapped away on her computer as per her teacher's advice whilst they all doubted her. 
"Me neither! It's almost like someone else filled out their applications for them!"
"Yeah, whatever! Anyway, each kid gets a million bucks and a banger of an education. Much better than this dump!" Miss Shapen cackled, much to (y/n)'s offence, who folded her arms and glared, looking slightly meaner than usual with her dark under-eyes and doofus-less status. 
"Hey! I'll have you know my husband and I put our life savings into this place!" She retorted indignantly, highly protective of her beautiful school's windows and gardens. She left out the part where the good old taxpayer funded half of it, not that the odd woman needed to know that- they were obliged to Captain Man and Miss Danger for guarding them. 
"Your husband?!" Sharona laughed cruelly, gesturing to where Ray rolled away, wailing hysterically. "What kind of gifted school is run by an old bald guy in a wheelchair?"
"I'll have you know, Sharona--"
"I am not old!" Ray snapped rudely, abruptly rolling into the room with a scowl, butting in when his sweet girl went to defend him. She sighed at the sorry sight he made, knowing it had been a trying few days for him, casting back to that promise she had made. Would they even have time for that now?
His head shined under the bright lights, looking particularly spherical and slick, exasperated by his kooky clothes. Yet despite everything, he was offended by the insinuation that he was old - his classic sore spot. 
"Pipe down, Mr Clean!" Sharona hissed, scrunching her face in disgust at his unkempt, bohemian appearance. Before (y/n) could say something - or punch her in the teeth - the inspector stormed forward and kicked Ray's wheelchair, sending his back onto the porch as he clutched his sore, chilly scalp. How cruel - she picked on him at his most vulnerable. 
"My doofus!" The heroine exclaimed in horror, cringing when she heard her lover whimper and crash into something. 
"Listen here, Sharona," she snarled defensively, "what's your game? What do you want?"
"Your school can keep its license, Mrs Manchester, but I'm never sending any other students here again," the gaudy woman announced, much to Miriam and Percy's disappointment, their bottom lips wobbling. They didn't want to leave, but their friends couldn't help but secretly celebrate the news; they'd never have to worry about unwanted visitors again. They had Ray and his spectacular performance to thank for that.
"Now, come on, beans and toast. Time to Brexit!" Miss Shapen whistled to the orphans, ignoring their kicked-puppy expressions since she was on a roll with her British puns. She waltzed out of the classroom, expecting them to follow her, and the kids had no choice but to take their leave, but not before bidding their friends and instructor goodbye. 
"We will never forget you! Thank you so much, Miss (y/n)!" Percy smiled and sniffed, blinking back tears as he suddenly wrapped his arms around (y/n)'s waist. The poor kid was so short, barely reaching past her tummy as his sister hugged her other side, snuggling into her body like they were leaving their mother or a dear friend. Despite the surprise, it warmed the woman's heart, and she couldn't leave them hanging. 
"It was my pleasure to...teach you," she told them gently, awkwardly patting their headscarf and flat cap since she wouldn't assume they learned anything from their hurried and bizarre lessons. But, if anything, the children were a delight in the school and, as always, so very polite.
"SWAG forever, I say!"
"And so say I!" They swore stalwartly, ignoring the sadness to tap their fists against their chests. It was a final goodbye that moved even the stoniest of hearts--namely Chapa's, who nodded solemnly as the others tried not to cry. They were so strong, especially Miles, who repeated their gestures as the brother and sister emotionlessly marched away without another word - not looking back once. 
And then, they were alone again as Percy and Miriam left for a life of ease and luxury--it was almost convincing enough to make them follow. But they didn't, seeing Ray parked outside and knowing they had their own oath to fulfil, starting with getting him in bed with his sweet girl and a wig. 
"Can't believe Miles was right..." Bose sighed as they gathered together, feeling empty now that their little crumpets had gone on to better things, but Mika couldn't help but frown...
"About what?" (y/n) asked curiously, knowing that the first thing she wanted to do was sleep, snuggled up to her husband on their emperor-sized bed. 
"The solution revealed itself!"
"What?" Mika frowned at this long-haired boy's words, refusing to believe that he thought her brother and his mystic bullshit were the answer to their problems. They ignored how she worked her butt off to get Miriam and Percy into that fancy school. Still, they laughed and congratulated Miles for his efforts--like they left by chance. It was amusing for (y/n) to watch, chuckling to herself when she practically saw steam coming out of the girl's ears. 
"Hey, yeah. It did!" Chapa agreed, clueless to the furious girl by her elbow. 
"The universe will provide..." Miles stated calmly and smugly, infuriating his sister even more. He lapped up all the attention his friends gave him, feeling like he was one with the spirits--although he'd meet them sooner than later if Mika got ahold of him. 
"Mika provides! I filled out their applications like (y/n) told me to while everyone else wasn't paying any attention to me!" She exclaimed frustratedly, wildly gesturing to herself as she ranted about how she'd saved the day - it was funny to watch.
But her friends weren't in the mood for one of her holier-than-thou lectures, glancing at each other tiredly before simply walking away, heading for the closet so they could go to the Man's Nest and nap. They deserved a little relaxation, their heads throbbing too much to listen to Mika's incessant ramblings. 
"Hello?! Hello?! I exist! (y/n/n), tell them!" She wailed, looking at the older girl pleadingly to get her support, but she just laughed kindly. 
"You did good, Mika. Well done for helping us out," (y/n) praised her happily, rubbing her head like she was rewarding a puppy, but Mika lapped it up. She practically glowed at the compliment, beaming with pride, even if she tried to appear modest and humble. 
"Aw, shucks..."
"So, go and rest with the others. You must be exhausted," the heroine told her, ushering the sleepy girl toward where her friends had disappeared when she yawned suddenly. Too tired to argue, Mika nodded weakly, rolling her shoulders now the adrenaline had worn off, and she turned to the door, fingers brushing the golden handle when she noticed that her friend wouldn't follow. 
"What about you? Aren't you gonna go to bed?"
"Of course! My feet feel like they'll drop off if I wear these heels for a minute longer," she replied with a tired laugh, shifting from one foot to the other since she couldn't feel her toes. They'd been squashed in heels - boots or otherwise - for over twelve hours, and she was drained, hearing her bed calling out to her. She'd listen, knowing the route even with her eyes closed, but first, there was something she needed to do...
"But first, I need to go get His Grumpiness."
"Oh, come on. Ray will be fine if you nap for an hour or two!" Mika exclaimed, slowly pushing the door open, hoping it would tempt the woman into tagging along. She hated the bags under her eyes, but no matter what she said, she still edged toward the front door, where Ray still sulked on the porch in his wheelchair, determined to go to bed with him. 
"I guess, but he's my husband, and I love him, even if he's all eggy now," (y/n) shrugged, gently refusing the girl's subtle offer when she jerked her head to the back room, setting her sights on the grumbling doofus throwing a tantrum amongst the potted plants. 
It would be nightmarish and nearly impossible to convince him to go with her, considering how he was screeching and scratching at his hairless head, but she'd manage it. No matter if it took another hour, she'd drag him there, strip his stupid riding boots off, and tuck them under the comforter - they'd solve his smooth noggin problem later. 
"Can't sleep without him..."
"Do you think he'll be bald forever?" The girl asked curiously, wondering if it was something they'd have to get used to, but she didn't look too worried. As much as she adored his brown floof, (y/n) didn't cry or frown, unlike when she first saw his kooky new look, seeming oddly relaxed and happy as she hovered in front of the door. 
"Nah... Schwoz will throw some hair juice on his head or something, and I'll have my handsome doofus back in no time!" She exclaimed, practically bouncing with joy at the thought of being in her lover's embrace again, where she could hear his rational thoughts and sweet words. She needed it after a long day, shivering at the thought of finally resting with him. 
In her happiness, she didn't feel the smile creeping onto her face, too wrapped up to see Mika giggling at that dreamy-eyed expression. 
"You really love him, don't you?" She remarked softly, half-disappearing behind her door as (y/n) went in the opposite direction on her mission. Her cheeks grew warm, yet she quickly nodded, never denying it - her purest form was when she revelled in her deep adoration for that man, who took all other love she might have had for anyone else to give her room to grow. 
"More than anything..." she replied softly, enough for Mika. The girl didn't argue any more, seeing that nothing she said would convince her otherwise. She passed into the other room, leaving the heroine with weariness and endless love as everything finally fell silent. 
The classroom needed a good tidy, and she wanted to check on the kids before she slept since it had been their longest shift yet. There was a lot to do, more than she could bear to think about when her body ached, begging to restore itself, but it was nice to stand and appreciate...nothing. No problems, no children, nothing that could go wrong...
She was frozen, seeing the sunlight holding the dust in its beams before it settled on her surfaces, readying for cleaning. Maybe in a few hours, but she could hear Ray crying on the front porch, calling her name in a needy, pitchy voice as his fists thumped the chair. He had to be her priority, worrying for others before herself. 
She sighed and closed her eyes, knowing the silence never lasted long, but that was okay. She fixed her jacket, rubbed her face, and studied the messy classroom, calling out that she was on her way, fighting through the exhaustion. 
Off she went again, head held high as the school doors closed until the next crazy adventure.
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minaa-munch · 14 days
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Hi CI! I read your headcanons and I gotta ask why you think Minato should be yamanaka and not senju. Wouldn't him being senju make more sense?
To be blatant with you, dear anon, I thought Minato being part Yamanaka made sense due to two reasons: his sensory abilities and his blond hairs. I blame the manga for not having enough blond individuals around.
Another, more selfish reason is that it really peeves me off with how OP certain clans are over the others. The manga doesn't do justice to the other clans that make up the village - I mean, if the Uchiha and Senju were that powerful, they wouldn't need the others. Each clan has its own significance and tracing Minato's routes to the Yamanaka is kinda like...a tribute to that idea. I wanted a Hokage to be from the fringes; to show that you don't need a kekkei genkai to simply be 'it' ya know?
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^ an illustration of my valiant attempt at diversifying the pool. I have a lot of lore in my notes and I'll publish it soon. Thanks for the ask, anon.
P.s. A part of me really likes the idea that someone from a non-dazzly-clan broke the system, albeit for a little while. Lol he dies in a year.
A. Year.
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lavenderrosiefan · 2 months
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qilinkisser · 25 days
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pulling an all nighter. This Roku tv has rainbow rocks. I am about to get Sillay about my dazzlies <333
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