#day to day it doesn’t bother me I use them constantly and I don’t think about it

[platypusisnotonfire]

I’m annoyed by irrational numbers

I know they’re real numbers

They exist

But they are infinite? But not. They are decidedly NOT infinity. But they are….infinitely repeating

It’s like infinity into atoms compared to infinity into the universe but like

They’re also REAL FREAKING NUMBERS that can define finite objects (circles for instance)

I’m not happy about them

[munson-blurbs]

Headcanon: Eddie is a boob man. Best friend Eddie would one day notice your boobs (maybe in a bathing suit or a low cut top or something) and they become his new obsession hehe

Us? Projecting? Never.

Warnings: smut (18+ only, minors DNI), unwanted boners, semi-public masturbation (m), Eddie's a perv but he's not thrilled about it, Reader has boobs but no size is given (Eddie loves all boobs, let's be real)

WC: 1.3k

Divider credit to @saradika

Stupid D20. 

Stupid Dustin for tossing it so far across the table. 

Stupid low-cut shirt that exposes your chest when you lean over to collect the die, giving Eddie a stupid boner in the middle of Hellfire Club. 

“Hey, Ed!” Gareth calls out impatiently, snapping his fingers in front of the Dungeon Master’s face. “You wanna tell us if we defeated the demogorgon, or are you just gonna stare off into space?”

Eddie clears his throat. “Sorry. Right.” He tries his best to proceed with the campaign as usual, but all he can think about are your boobs and how grateful he is to be sitting down right now. 

When he adjourns the meeting, he’s still too hard to stand without someone noticing. “I’m just gonna, uh, hang back and brainstorm for a few,” he lies as smoothly as he can. 

“Can’t wait to see what sadistic shit you come up with,” Mike says. The rest of the guys slap him five in agreement as they clamor out the door. 

The only people left in the room are you and Eddie. 

Of course. 

“You don’t have to stick around, Sweetheart.” He tries not to sound too dismissive, plastering a smile on his face. 

“You’re my ride.”

Shit. “Oh. Right.” He hedges a nervous laugh. “I’ll be ready in five.”

You nod. “No worries. I’ll run to the girls’ room while I wait.” Before reaching the door, you notice that Lucas’s character sheet has fluttered to the ground. You reach down and scoop it up, revealing the tops of your bra-covered breasts. 

“Sinclair owes me,” you chirp, placing the paper back on the table, remaining utterly oblivious to the way Eddie is straining against his zipper once again. 

To Eddie’s credit, he tries to stop thinking about them. He really, truly does. 

You’re his best friend. He doesn’t want to constantly think about your boobs, or the way they’d feel pressed against his bare chest, or whether your nipples would harden if he sucked on them, or—

“Mr. Munson!” Ms. O’Donnell’s shrill screech snaps him out of his breast-induced stupor. “Is there a reason why you can’t be bothered to listen while I’m trying to teach?”

“N-No, ma’am.”

She huffs out an irritated sigh. “Since you must know everything already, why don’t you come up and solve the problem for us?” She taps the piece of chalk against the blackboard, leaving tiny white dots in its wake. 

Eddie shakes his head, feeling his cheeks burn red. Humiliating himself when he can’t figure out the value of x will be bad enough, but to fail while his sail is at half-mast? He’ll never recover. 

Fortunately, the old bird relents and turns back to the board to continue her lesson. 

Crisis averted. 

Except…is it?

Because the only thing—things, rather—on Eddie’s mind are your tits. And he isn’t supposed to be imagining himself caressing them while you’re bouncing on his cock, moaning his name, saying that only he can make you feel that good…

He’s racing out of his seat the moment the bell rings, making a mad dash for the Hellfire room, relieved to see that it’s unoccupied. The door barely closes behind him before he’s ambling towards his DM throne and frantically tugging down his jeans and boxers. 

“Fucking Christ,” he whispers, inhaling sharply as his cock is free of its denim restraint. He wraps his hand around it and squeezes in his desperation for an ounce of relief. Pre-cum already leaks from his red, angry tip, and he knows from experience that this is not going away without some…intervention. 

Eddie reluctantly lets go of himself and spits into his open palm. He bites his lower lip to stifle a burgeoning moan as he slowly works his shaft, fingers tightening to simulate what he imagines to be the way you’d feel. 

“Thassit, mmmf, feels s’good.” He closes his eyes and rests the back of his head on his chair. He needs you underneath him so he can watch your breasts jiggle with each snap of his hips. 

“Bet you want my cum, huh? Where do you want it?” Eddie keeps his voice low, barely loud enough for him to hear. “Want it on those pretty tits of yours? Yeah, you fuckin’ do.”

His fist flies over his hardness, choked whimpers escaping his lips. He feels pleasure begin to build and moans your name to bring himself over the edge. 

“Yeah?”

Eddie’s head snaps forward, taking a moment to let reality seep in. He’s not buried deep within you; he’s jerking off in a dark room where he plays Dungeons & Dragons, and you’re standing in the doorway. 

“Eds? You okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. ‘M fine,” he lies, silently brainstorming ways to tuck himself back into his pants without you noticing. 

You arch a disbelieving brow. “You sure? Lucas said he saw you running down the hallway—”

“I’m fine!” He insists louder this time. Shaking his head, he bites his lip and attempts to collect himself. 

The two of you have been friends for too long; you know that he’s far from fine when he raises his voice. You walk to him, determined to figure out what’s wrong. 

And then you see it. 

Eddie says nothing, fully focused on covering himself as best he can and avoiding eye contact. 

It doesn’t take long for you to put the pieces together: semi-hard cock in his hand, sweat beading on his forehead, the pleading mentions of your name. 

“Eddie.” You let your fingertips brush against his shoulder. “Did I interrupt?”

He only nods in response. 

“What were you thinking about?”

Eddie exhales a long breath before answering. “You,” he finally answers. “And th-that shirt you wore yesterday.” His cock twitches at the mere reminder of it. 

You grin knowingly. You’d bought it at the mall specifically because of its low-cut neckline, hoping it would catch Eddie’s attention. 

Apparently, it very much had. 

“You liked it?” 

“Loved it.” He starts stroking himself again, almost unaware of his own movements. “Want you to wear it every damn day,” he adds with a hoarse chuckle. 

Swiping your tongue over your lower lip, you lean in and whisper in his ear, “What if I didn’t wear one at all?”

With that, you lift your shirt over your head and unhook your bra, letting them both fall to the ground unceremoniously. Eddie’s eyes widen, gazing at your exposed chest. 

“Oh, baby,” he breathes, his free hand reaching out to touch them. His thumb grazes one nipple and he gives your breast a gentle squeeze. “Baby, they’re perfect.”

You smile, using your hip to nudge the table away and get on your knees in front of him. “Keep going, Eds.”

He nods again, shifting forward a bit so you’re between his legs. “Gonna…gonna cum all over these perfect tits,” he grunts. “Please. Please, I gotta…”

“You can cum on them, Eds.”

And, fuck, does he. Thick ropes spill out of his cock, painting your chest in a sticky film. He’s crying out your name as he does it, milking every last drop. 

He floats down from the high, staring at your chest and admiring the way he’s claimed you. “That…wow,” he manages, laughing nervously. “Let me clean you up.” He reaches for the tissues, wiping whatever is still leaking out of him before sopping up the mess on your breasts. 

“I don’t know where we go from here,” he admits sheepishly, wadding up the Kleenex and tossing it into the trash. “Like, do I take you on a date? Bend you over the table?” He says the second option teasingly, but you have a feeling he wouldn’t turn you down if you agreed to it. 

You re-clasp your bra and shrug on your shirt. “We could try a date,” you say as casually as you can. 

“Dinner and a movie?”

“I’ll wear that shirt.”

--

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 THAT GIRL (she’s delicious) kim chaewon x reader

↳ warnings: idol au, 6th member reader, pt 2 of rich girl yn drives chaewon even more crazy

THERE IS NOBODY THAT CHAEWON hates more than yn right now, how can one human being have such and ego? how can she be so sure of her self?

ever since yn has come up with the ridiculous idea that chaewon has a crush on her, which she doesn’t. she hasn’t let it go.

all she does is constantly tease the leader and become a royal pain in the ass, more than she usually is, everything she does has been getting on chaewon’s nerves.

like right now.

chaewon clenched her fists at yn’s irritating giggle as she leaned against kazuha interlocking her hands with the japanese girl who quietly listened to the girl rant about completely unimportant things with a small smile on her face.

she doesn’t understand how kazuha could deal with her and for some reason it bothered her how close the two were.

it always felt like there was something more, sakura told her that she was being dramatic and even if there was something going on why does it matter.

“it matters because I don’t want anyone I care about dating that demon.” is what chaewon had said to the older girl who rolled her eyes in response muttering a “yeah right.” clearly not believing chaewon’s reason. “what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked the older girl who just ignored her, “that girl is evil.”

chaewon scrunched her face in disgust watching the duo, she walked over to them with determination, “why are you guys fooling around, we’re supposed to be practicing.”

kazuha flinches at the leaders tone while yn just flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at her nails, her hands still interlocked with kazuha’s.

chaewon narrowed her eyes at their hands, getting a weird feeling in her chest, which was definitely not jealousy and was concern for kazuha.

“why are you so pissy?” yn asked, chaewon opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by yn, “how does my nose look?” she asks turns her head to side to show her side profile, “I think a nose job is the way to go right now.”

chaewon squinted at the girls antics, while kazuha shakes her head, “your nose is perfect.” she says.

“oh my gosh really?” yn asks leaning her face closer to kazuha’s with a smile on her face, “are you just saying that?”

kazuha was about to respond but was cut short by a very irritated leader, “who cares!? and I am not pissy.”

“you so are.” yn says holding her hand out towards the leader who looks at it in confusion, “pull me up.”

chaewon rolls her eyes and pulls the girl up from the floor a little too harsh which caused yn to lean into her extra close.

“and I know exactly why.” she whispers and chaewon’s eyes widened at their close proximity.

yn then leans away from her and turns to kazuha who got up as well, “well, let’s practice.”

chaewon watched as they walk towards eunchae and groans, what does she mean “she knows why”? how cocky can that girl be?

this going to be a long practice.

practice was long over and chaewon laid her bed staring at the ceiling while the simpsoms played in the background on her laptop.

she has to set the record straight with yn, the more days go on the more yn keeps dragging this crush thing.

she lets out a sigh and gets up from her bed and walks over to yn’s room she rolled her eyes at the gold door knocker on the girls door, she’s so extra.

chaewon reluctantly uses the door knocker and opens the door when she hears a soft “come in.”

when she walks into the room genie by snsd fills her ears as it plays from yn’s sparkly cd player.

it felt like walking into a new world, she’s never been in yn’s room before and it looks like sharpay evans barfed all over it.

she slowly walked into yn’s room and glanced at the floor looking at yn’s cat who slept on her crown shaped bed.

she turned to look at yn stood at her dancing and singing along to the song.

“did you know I actually have an exact replica of the outfit they wear for this song you know the white one with the fur?” yn says not even glancing at chaewon, still looking through her closet.

“daddy’s money?” chaewon asks leaning against yn’s dresser.

“tiffany unnie actually, she gave me the one she actually wore like a year ago, best moment ever, she’s like the older sister I never had now.”

chaewon raises her eyes brows in surprise but doesn’t let her voice show it, “oh yeah, you only have brothers right?”

“yep.” yn says before finally turning around to face chaewon, “now, why are you here? finally confessing your love?”

chaewon rolls her eyes as she watches yn laugh at her own words and sat on her fluffy bed, “that’s definitely it right?”

“no.”

“I’m actually here to talk about that.” chaewon says and yn raises a brow intrigued.

“I don’t have a crush on you.” chaewon says firmly and yn tilts her head to the side, “really?”

“yep.” chaewon says mocking the girls words, “no love here.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“what?!”

“just look at how you were acting at practice today.” yn says, chaewon thought the girl was looking her but she was actually looking at herself in the mirror behind her, “you’re obsessed with me, look at how acted over me just being close with zuha who is my best friend.”

“best friend.” chaewon mutters, “yeah right.”

“see, you’re so jealous.”

“I am not!”

“you so are.”

chaewon groans and throws her head back, how can she convince yn she doesn’t have a crush on her, maybe reverse psychology…

chaewon curses herself for what she’s about to do and tries to clam herself down from the feeling of fluster she already feels because she knows it’s gonna skyrocket after she does this.

she marches over to yn who looks at her with a taunting smile on her face, she grabs both sides of the girls face and smashes her lips onto yn’s, a surprised yelp escaping from the girl.

for a millisecond she feels yn kiss back but she immediately pulls away, chaewon can’t help but smile at the shock on the girls face.

she’s been waiting for the day that yn would become speechless and it seems like today is the day.

“would someone who has a crush on you do that? she asks with a smug smile.

yn is silent for a second before a smile slowly makes its way to her face and chaewon’s slowly disappears.

“yes, yes they would.”

[celestial-grls]

Midnight Snack - Kate Martin x reader

-Summary: Fluffiest blurb ever about Kate waking you up because she's hungry and wants company...like how could you resist her?

Tonight, you and Kate seemed to have exchanged roles. Usually, you’re the one who’s up way past your bedtime, reading or giving your rapt attention to a video essay you found. Kate usually is the one gently asking you to come to bed, and she never needs more than five minutes before she’s dozing off and completely snoring. Tonight, you got some shut-eye, nestled into the warmth of her neck with your legs tangled together under the covers. There’s a few days before she has to leave for a tournament, so you’re taking as much time as you can to be with her knowing that once everything starts up again, there’ll be a stretch of time before you two can really be together like this. It’s dark, yours and Kate’s dog is asleep at the foot of the bed peacefully snoring. 

“Y/N,” Kate turns over to lightly touch your face, whispering and trying to wake you up as nicely as she can. The small inkling of guilt settles as her eyes adjust to your sleepy face, how the top of your head fits right into her neck. 

“Y/N…baby,” Kate whispers again. This time you stir a bit. 

Through a slight frown you mumble, “Hm?”

Kate starts shuffling to trace some lines into your palm, another strategy for waking you up nicely. 

Her tracing the lines inside your palm feel so familiar, her automatic little habit to feel closer to you. She presses feather-light kisses to them too, waiting patiently for you to open your eyes. She’s so relieved when you finally do. 

“Kate,” you rub at your eyes, still half-asleep and gooey at how sweet Kate is trying to be while waking you. “What time is it, baby?” 

“It’s late. Like 12:30 I think?” Kate and you are fully facing each other, slowly blinking.. 

“Do you have to be up early tomorrow? Or can we sleep in a little?” You ask her through a yawn, you start to blink at her when she yawns back at you.

Kate couldn’t adore you more than she does right now, as you reach for your glasses from the bedside table so you can see her better and check the time. The strap of your tank top slid off one shoulder when you sat up in bed and she instinctively went to kiss your shoulder. 

“No, I don’t have to be up too early,” She doesn’t stop slowly blinking at you or tracing the side of your arm with her finger, constantly touching you to remind herself you’re real. 

You push your glasses up the bridge of your nose and lean down to peck a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “Good. You couldn’t sleep?” You worry about her, and you’re almost certain she knows that. 

Kate closes her eyes when your hair falls over her face, receiving your little kisses and breathing in the lotion you put on before bed. She’s going to miss it when she’s away in a few days. “Not really. Will you come have a snack with me?” 

She gives you this pleading look, her eyes big pools of warmth. You tell her, “I’ll do you one better…I’ll make us a snack,”

She automatically protests, “No, baby, you don’t have to. I feel bad enough waking you up.” 

“I’d feel worse if you had one without me,” then you get out from your side of the bed and wait for her to join you, “C’mon, no objections please.” 

Kate’s already tried to offer to help, but you refused. “You don’t think I can cut an apple or something, big shot?” 

“‘Course not. I know you can. Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything?” She’s lingering next to you as you chop the apple into slices and slide them onto a plate. You look up at her with her sleep mussed hair tucked behind her ears and her blue baggy boxer shorts rolled around her hip and her socked feet and can’t imagine wanting her to do anything but sit down and look as pretty as she does right now. 

“I’m sure. Now sit,” you’re doing your best to be stern. The truth is, you’re not the least bit bothered to be slicing an apple and warming up some peanut butter for you both to munch on right now. Any moment you get to share like this feels like suspending time, pausing to try and make it stretch. 

Kate does as you say and sits across from you on the island. It’s almost too much, the warmth of the kitchen light, you pushing your glasses up, the sound of your slippers padding across the floor as you look for chocolate chips. She’s watching you with her chin the the palm of her hand, feeling dazed from the sleepiness and quietly delighted by the way you assemble the slices and spread peanut butter on each one. 

You make a big show of sprinkling chocolate chips on a few because you know she loves them. “Ta-da. Midnight snack for Martin.” 

“Thank you, baby. My talented little chef,” Kate stretches a little bit before she starts chewing. Making an equal show of closing her eyes and nodding in approval at the snack. 

You lean closer into her from across the kitchen island and take a slice from the plate. There’s only the low hum of the refrigerator and Kate quietly giggling between bites before she says, “Think I made the right call, waking you up,” 

There’s about an inch of space between you two now, you close it to kiss her sweetly before telling her, “One time only offer. Don’t do it again, baby.”

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 15 | Unspoken Words

“A pathetic what? Loser? Nerd? All bullshit labels you and your friends love throwing around?”

summary: it’s pouring rain outside and you’re in a heated argument with the so-called ‘loser skater boy’ of the school, Chris about your popular friend group constantly picking on him but you don’t know what you could possibly do about it, in the heat of the moment you accidentally confess your love for him that you’ve been bottling inside of you for ages now, how will Chris react to the sudden confession?

warnings: ANGST, heavy language, pouring rain, arguing, angry love confession, kissing, mentions of bullying & possibly more!

authors note: bro this is coming out so late I’m so sorry I seriously am having trouble keeping up with posting fics everyday I might just change the schedule for every two days so I have time to write the fic so from now on I’ll post NNN fics every two days and I’ll try to make them better too, luv y’all sm and hope y’all enjoy this one

The rain was relentless, pouring down in heavy falls as I stood at the edge of the high school parking lot, glaring at him. Chris, the loser skater dude sat leaned against the slick metal of his beat-up board as water streamed down from his dark hair. It was a pathetic sight, really, the way he was looking at me through the downpour like he truly believed I’d stand there and listen to him whine while my friends were making his life miserable just a few feet away. “Chris, it’s not my fault they’re dicks! Just stand up for yourself!” I yelled, the wind whipping my words back into my face. I could see him flinch at the sharpness in my tone, but honestly? He was pissing me the fuck off right now.

“Easy for you to say,” he spat back, his voice rising above the rain. “You think I want to get into it with them? They’ve made my life hell since middle school. And here you are, acting like you’re above it all.” “Whatever, Chris! You could actually do something about it, but instead, you stand there like a pathetic—” before I could finish my sentence, he cut right into the middle of it. “A pathetic what? Loser? Nerd? All bullshit labels you and your friends love throwing around?” My heart raced as the fight quickly escalated, frustration spilling out of me like the rain pouring down but hee wasn’t wrong, I could feel my friends laughing as they made comments, snickering at his expense as they walked past us.

I was too stubborn to admit that it bothered me, to admit that I felt trapped between two worlds — my friends who I felt loyal to, and Chris, whose passion for skating and the freedom he radiated off him drew me in. “Why don’t you just tell them to stop?” I snapped, fists clenched at my sides. “Oh, right!” he emphasized each word through gritted teeth, “Because you know they’d listen to me. ‘Oh, look at the loser! What a joke!’” He was pacing now, waves of frustration beaming from him as he glared at me. I could tell he was hurt and that made it worse for me. This wasn’t the first time we’d had this conversation, it seemed every time we met, our discussions turned into a bickering fight.

“Why can’t you just grow a backbone for once?” I found myself shouting, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Chris was the one person I didn’t want to keep fighting with. There was something inside me that pricked me at the thought of him being hurt—something that made me want to shield him from the world, even if I was part of the problem. “I get it, you’re popular, you have to keep up your perfect appearance.” His voice was cold and I hated that I could see right through it. “But that doesn’t mean you need to stand by while they bully someone who hasn’t done anything to you.”

The weight of his words hung between us, and for a moment, we both bathed in the silence, thunder rumbling in the background and threatening to strike. My breaths came ragged, and I could feel the frustration boiling over, a fierce mix of feelings I’d contained far too long. “Do you even care about them?” I shot back, suddenly feeling more bold, “I mean, seriously, do you care that I’m their friend? Or is it just about you being the victim here?” “Maybe if you gave them less attention, they’d stop. Ever think about that?” he shot back with a knife that cut deeper than any of my friends’ insults.

I took a step closer as rain soaked through my clothes, breath hitching as the heat between us crackled. “You think I’m just some heartless bitch, don’t you? You think I enjoy having these petty losers as friends? You know nothing about me,” I spat. He stepped forward, our faces inches apart as the storm raged around us. “So what’s stopping you from saying something? You’re the one with the power in this situation, right?” And just like that, the last strings broke inside me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shake him and make him understand. “You don’t get it at all, Chris! Maybe I don’t always know what the fuck to do! Maybe—” My voice trembled and before I could think about the honesty I’m about to spill, I continued, “Maybe I just didn’t know how to tell you I liked you!”

His eyes widened, surprise sparkling in them and my heart tripped over itself at my confession. My cheeks burned and beneath the rain, I could feel the silence swallow us whole. The storm around us was like background noise as everything I pooled inside of me far too long, unraveling and honest. My breath caught as he closed the distance, moving so smoothly it caught me off guard. “What are you do—” Before I could finish, he tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine. The kiss was sudden as if he was attempting to drown out all the noise in my head, all the rambling I would never stop. It felt electric, warmth pulsing through my veins that made the rain fade into nothing.

When he finally pulled away, my pulse immediately started to race. I blinked up at him, confusion swirling inside of me. “Wait… Did you just really kiss me to shut me up?” He smirked, a shimmer of playfulness in his blue eyes. “Maybe,” he replied and I couldn’t help but laugh, the tension slowly dissolving into something lighter, something filled with hope. “So, popular girl, what now?” I hesitated but with a new fire building inside of me I grinned and said, “We show those little bastard who not to mess with.” And as the rain poured and drenching us both, I realized that maybe, just maybe, we’d figure it out together.

@hearts4werka |

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[eamour]

living a life in sin.

most of the times, we live a life in sin without really noticing it. we wait for our desires, we wait for something to change in the 3D, we wait for something to fulfill us. what we don’t realise is that by doing so, we neglect the feeling of our desires, the purpose of our imagination and most importantly, ourselves.

to live in sin.

to sin means to live a life of unfulfillment. to sin means to deny yourself of the experiences you would want to have. it means to lock yourself away from the feeling of satisfaction that comes along with the inner fulfillment of your desires. to sin is also an act of robbery; you rob yourself (GOD) the moment you choose to live a life that isn’t meant for you. you steal and take away feelings of happiness and contentment and therefore commit an act of sin.

living in desire.

the fact that you are desiring tells me a lot about your state. if you aim for the end but you catch yourself are desiring your manifestation, that should tell you that you are not truly living in the end. if you had your desire, you wouldn’t constantly think about when it’s going to manifest, if it’s going to appear on time or how you're going to attain it. you wouldn’t bother about the ways it'll come to you, you wouldn’t try to put in physical effort and you most definitely wouldn’t constantly check the 3D for validation. because remember, the 3D can only be what your 4D is.

stop sinning.

stop sinning. stop robbing yourself. stop rejecting your desires. stop running away from them. stop denying yourself desirable feelings. stop pushing them away from you. stop wasting your time accepting questionable convictions of yourself and give yourself permission to BE who you want to be and to HAVE what you want to have. only you can determine who you are and how much you have within.

in imagination, it's yours.

you can’t have what you still desire. it’s quite ironic that we get the things we desire by not desiring anymore and by gifting them to us instead of waiting for the world to serve us on its own. but your imagination IS your saviour. in imagination, you can BE and HAVE anything you'd like. so why not grant yourself all of your desires? who is stopping you? no one's going to take away your desires in a place that is only accessible to you and you ONLY.

desire, until you don’t.

now, to no longer desire your desire doesn’t only happen when you stop wanting it. it also naturally happens when you no longer NEED to desire it — as you're already in possession of it. once you claim to have your desire in your mind, you will eventually get to a point of not desiring it anymore. it can look like this: "i know i have my desire now. in imagination, i have accepted that it’s mine. i am it now!" this is actually a very good sign. it’s like the highest level on the manifestation pyramid (if you will). it’s called ACCEPTANCE.

give yourself your desire.

"so i no longer want to be it, i am it!" — neville goddard.

whenever you want something, whenever you crave to have something "physically", let yourself experience it in your 4D. give it to yourself in imagination. do not wait, do not tell yourself that you'll do it later, once you are home or before you fall asleep. do it THEN and THERE. do not condition your desire and do not let yourself spend any day longer living in desire. you will see how your state will change quite immediately and you will feel easy about it. you will feel fulfilled. you will HAVE it or BE it because that’s what you have just decided. you will feel your imagination to be real, realer than anything undesirable in the 3D and you will start to become comfortable in imagination. eventually, you won’t care about ANYTHING but experiencing. eventually, you won’t care about having it in the 3D.

with love, ella.

[miley1442111]

thank god for dr. spencer reid

a/n: this was written with a fem!reader in mind but imagine what you want, reader has a period (same girl) :) spencer us such a cutie in this :)))))))

summary: your shitty family is in town and spencer is away, what will you do?

pairing: spencerreid x reader

warnings: heavy family issues, mentions of stress and sickness, very brief mention of abuse (litch not talked about just referenced dw), kinda cursing (just realised i've never warned this before... opps) and i might've missed some!

My eyes are glued to the screen with a perpetual frown playing on my lips. It’s hard to try to care about my job when I have this looming feeling of dread hanging over me like a cloud. Spencer has been MIA for days now. He left in a hurry on Monday night for a case. It’s Saturday now and he hasn’t been responding to my calls. On top of that, I have dinner with my mother and father. Both of them make it abundantly clear that they’re disappointed in my career choice, which is ridiculous because I’m a lawyer. Not the right kind of lawyer they constantly say. I’m an environmental lawyer and I make good money. The only way to satiate their insufferable whining is with Spencer. They love him. They probably love him more than me at this point. Alas, I will just have to deal with them alone tonight. And today has already been one hell of a day. First, Morgan called me,asking where Spencer was, telling me that they finished and that they should be home soon. He had not come home yet. Secondly, I feel like shit, an allergic reaction, my period and some random nausea all add up to making me feel itchy, gross, and practically vile all over. Thirdly, a huge pimple has decided to pop up on my face and  just know my mother will comment on it. My mother is one of those women who look effortlessly put-together 24/7. I am not one of those women. She does not like women who don’t look effortlessly put together. Aka, she barely tolerates me. 

I sigh and close my laptop screen, unable to reread the same few sentences again and again, hoping that they would get into my brain. I’m defending a client, one of my firm's biggest clients, in court next week. They were accused of illegal dumping (dumping they did not commit) and now they’re being sued for 2 million dollars. I slump out of my desk chair and out of my home office, locking it behind me for the weekend ahead. If I have court next week and Spencer is coming home after a difficult case, then we’ll need a day or rest and relaxation together. That is, if he even bothers to come home. I busy myself with getting ready and try to push those thoughts out of my head. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last hour of my life has been 60 minutes of absolute misery. Why did I ever accept this invite? My mother excuses herself to the bathroom and my father excuses himself for a cigarette, I nod along. Then it hits me… my dad doesn’t smoke anymore. I stare at the door and before I can stop myself my face contorts into a frown once again. Amelia, my sister. The sister that I haven't seen in years. The sister that bullied and abused me throughout our teenage years. Fuck. 

“Amelia?” I question, looking at the blonde woman who looks… different. She’s obviously older than I remember, and a bit more… I don’t know how to put it. Her blonde hair surpasses her waist and she seems to be pregnant? Her blue eyes seem dull and lack a certain vividness they used to sparkle with. She’s the typical peaking in high-school mean girl who became a nurse girl. I honestly can’t believe I used to look up to her. 

“It’s so good to see you!” She smiles, one of her fake-bitchy smiles and I grimace as she tries to hug me. “I just wanted to know how you’re doing, especially with the baby on the way, I’ll need all the help I can get!”

My heart drops. “Oh!” Is all I can manage. She sits in the seat beside me and I instinctively move further away. Just as I think this stupid dinner can’t get any worse, her pervy fiancé, Johnny, walks in.

“No Spencer?” He smirks. “What? Did you two break up? He was always too vanilla for you, you need a real man-” 

“No, sorry. I was just late. I had to come straight from the jet,” Spencer smiles from behind him. My parents' eyes light up, as Amelia and Johnny’s faces fall. I smile appreciatively at him as he hands the flowers he brought over to my parents and sits beside me, a comforting hand on my thigh. 

“How’s work, Spencer?” My father asks, his undivided attention on Spencer.

“It’s good, strenuous but good. Our cases recently haven’t been too difficult- though there was one that had a puzzle I thought you might enjoy…”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walk inside our house behind him, a million thoughts at once flowing through my head. We walk to the kitchen, he sits me down and takes off my shoes for me, a true gentleman. 

He presses a kiss to my cheek and smiles. “You look beautiful.”

I just nod back, a small smile on my lips. 

“Is everything alright?” He asks, turning to me, his hands resting on my waist. 

“Fine,” I tiredly smile. “Just… you know, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“You know, saying that makes me worry more, right?:” He smiles softly, though we both know he’s serious. 

“I just… I can’t believe she just showed up, like 7 years  of not seeing her and she just shows up? Like it’s casual? And then asks for our help with her baby? Like she did nothing to me? Like she-” I stop myself, determined not to cry right now. 

“Angel, it’s ok, let it out,” he soothes, a hand on my back, rubbing comforting circles. 

“I don’t want to cry though, they’re not worth crying over.”

“Then how about we get ready for bed, yeah angel?” He offers, a tired look in his eyes. I nod and press a soft to his perfect lips. He smiles against my mouth, his hands finding the sides of my face. I run a hand through his hair. He pulls away softly, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I smile. “Thank you for coming, my knight in shining armour.” 

“I enjoyed it. Watching your father fail to solve a simple puzzle was amusing.” He smirks, a mischievous glint in his eye as I roll my eyes. 

“We’re not all geniuses,” I remind him. 

“You are.”

“And how am I a genius?” I chuckle.

“You’re dating me, you clearly have superior taste and intelligence,” he says matter-of-factly. I gigle at his antics and kiss him again. He pulls away and grabs my hand, leading me into our room. We both opt out of brushing our teeth and washing our faces, a makeup wipe sufficing for removing my makeup. He pulls me into bed with him, and finally, after a long week, I finally lie down in bed with him, his arms around me in a bear-hug of sorts. This is heaven. He’s my knight in shining armour. Thank God for Dr. Spencer Reid. 

[4doras]

BUZZ LOVE ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆

OR when boynextdoor like you so much, they can’t focus on anything else ⊹♡

boynextdoor x gn!reader

genre. fluff (lowercase intended)

wc. 1.6k | 200+ per member except taesan and leehan (300+)

a/n. i had so much fun writing this omg. i think i might get into writing in this format so if u guys like this i’ll probably make more!! (if you have any ideas or requests please leave an ask!! ^^)

౨ৎ SUNGHO

when sungho has a crush on you, he would definitely be caught staring at you by the others. he’d be busy staring at you for the nth time when jaehyun waves his hand in front of him saying something silly. he’d SO get teased by the others, especially since he’s the oldest.

“hello, earth to sungho?” jaehyun asked, waving his hand in front of sungho’s face, trying to gain his attention.

sungho had been staring into space for the past ten minutes, except the “space” was you. he was completely smitten with you.

“ooh, sungho! you like y/n, don’t you?” riwoo said, a small smirk on his face.

“huh? i like y/n?” sungho stammered.

“i mean, who doesn’t know that already?” taesan asked.

“the they themself, l/n y/n.” leehan giggled, eyeing sungho.

“be quiet! they’re gonna hear you guys.” sungho pouted, resting his elbows on the table as he continued his staring session.

you caught his stare, the way his lips were slightly pouting, his eyes, glazed with love. you smiled and gave him a wave, making his come back to his senses, and wave back. this would never leave his mind until the next small interaction you two would have.

he’d probably recall all your interactions from the day at night and fall asleep thinking about them. i feel like he’d be so cute but sulky and vulnerable with the members when he likes someone. (can you tell i see sungho as a big baby)

more under the cut!

౨ৎ RIWOO

when riwoo likes someone, i think he’d get snacks and desserts for them and share food with them!! the others would catch on easily too, with the way riwoo would look at his crush with such heart filled eyes. the members would tease him about it, asking him for some of his food or asking him to get them snacks like he does for you, but you don’t have to ask because you’re y/n.

“y/n! i got you some desserts.” he smiled at you, passing you the box that was adorned with hearts.

“awh, thank you, ri!” you thanked him, looking at him with genuine thankfulness.

“well, i’ve gotta go, the guys wanted to hangout… text me when you get back, okay?” he asked, his bright eyes lingering on you for too long. why did it make you feel so loved?

“of course, ri. i’ll see you tomorrow.” you got up from your seat, holding him in your embrace. when you let go of him, his face was a tint of red.

when riwoo got to his friends place, he found out that they had been watching him since he was with you, acting out the whole interaction you two had, teasing him about how hard he was blushing.

i just think he’d be so cute and happy all the time, especially with you.

౨ৎ JAEHYUN

when jaehyun has a crush on someone, he’d be so flirtatious towards them. he’s such a clingy and loves-personal-touch sort of person and would pout at them whenever something he didn’t like happens. jaehyun’s someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, i think his feelings are easily read through his expressions and that the members would definitely be able to tell when he likes someone! ><

you and jaehyun decided to go to the library to do a catch up study session, but, it seems like jaehyun couldn’t keep studying, his brain constantly drifting to the thought of somehow bothering you.

“jaehyun, don’t distract me! i’m trying to study.” you sulked.

“but i’m bored… can’t you study any other day?” jaehyun whined back.

you put your pen down, looking him in the eye. putting your pen down clearly was not working, because by the next second you gave in, immediately scooting closer to him to watch videos together. he coerced you into doing fun yet simple activities with him, using his puppy eyes all the time, you really couldn’t resist his puppy-like charisma.

what you didn't know was that jaehyun's friends were watching you two behind a bookshelf, eavesdropping on every single conversation and move.

i think he would love texting you or anything to do with you. he’s the type of guy who would be tired all day then see you and have a burst of energy, or just hug you all of a sudden and say that he needed a recharge. he just gives off such puppy energy!!

౨ৎ TAESAN

he’d love writing music for/about them and playing music for them ESPECIALLY when they can’t sleep. i think his personality would change to a cuter, clingy version, and DEFINITELY a speaking mess. in the start, he’d try to deny his feelings but after talking to the others he would realize that he really does like you. the members would tease him about his crush, even more than if it were the others since taesan is a more nonchalant person.

“tasean, look who’s over there!” jaehyun nudged taesans arm.

“shut up! i don’t want them to know i like them.” taesan said before going back to writing.

“look! you can’t even stop thinking about y/n. here you are, writing a song about them, but you don’t want to talk to them?” jaehyun sighed.

“you seem so sad, taesan. go talk to them already.” riwoo shook taesans shoulders to express his urge.

“fine!” taesan closed his book and walked to you.

“hi, y/n.” taesan smiled, sitting down next to you.

“oh, hi taesan! what’s up?” you looked up at him, putting on a soft smile.

“nothing much, actually. i just kinda missed you.” his eyes lingering on you for what seemed like forever.

the small confession made you tilt your head in question. he missed you?

“t-talking to you, i mean.” he said, sheepishly.

“i wouldn’t have minded it either way.” you joked.

“then i guess both are true.” finally regaining his confidence.

“since you miss me so much, wanna go out? if you’re free of course.” you boldly asked.

“yes!” taesan had said, way louder than you expected. “yes, i’d love to.” he followed the loud chant with a soft tone.

“well, it's a date, then.” you extended your hand, waiting for his to fall in yours, and walked together, hand in hand.

he’d, like jaehyun, love anything that has to do with you and in my opinion, would become the baby of the relationship. i lowkey got ahead of myself and wrote a bunch…

౨ৎ LEEHAN

he would talk about his silly interests with you and get you a bunch of little trinkets and keychains of all sorts. he’d somehow relate everything to you and name a fish after you. he would find a picture of two aliens and say that it’s you and him and crack goofy jokes with you. i don’t think the members would know until he straight up tells them like it’s something they should’ve known.

“leehan, you’re kinda… zoning out? what’re you even looking at…” taesan asked, looking around to find anything out of the ordinary.

“y/n, i’m looking at y/n,” he smiled just at the sound of your name. “i like y/n, didn’t you guys know?”

“you like y/n? like l/n y/n?” jaehyun stood still, mouth wide open.

“mhm, how did you all not notice? i thought it was obvious.” he said, while getting up to talk to you.

“and there he goes, so easily.” sungho sighed.

“hi, pretty.” leehan giggled.

“me?” you smiled, watching as leehan nodded. “hi, handsome.” you chuckled back.

“you think i’m handsome?”

“you think i’m pretty?”

“yeah. i really like you, i’m serious.” he said with a straight face.

“what? actually, leehan?”

“i’ll text you later, pretty.” he got up, not leaving before he left a matching alien keychain, your being pink and his being green, then walking back to his original table.

you could hear his friends asking what that was about, probably based on your shocked reaction.

“i just told her i like her.” he said as if it was something simple.

he’d treat his crush on you like it’s nothing but he’d do small little acts that would really warm your heart. i think he’d send you a bunch of videos and memes that he thinks resembles you or you and him. he’s my little alien i love him so much

౨ৎ WOONHAK

he’s a mix of jaehyun and sungho. his cute, clingy and baby attitude would come out when he has a crush on someone. he would love going on little dates and getting cute matching items and couple items even though you two aren’t together. i think he’d especially like getting couple jewelry for you two. the members would tease him like it’s the end of the world, like sungho, because of his age. i could see them saying something like “our baby is growing up so quickly.” if they haven’t already.

“y/n, hurry! i wanna go buy matching keychains.” he said, being dragged as he held your hand.

“hak, we have so many matching keychains! basically all the keychains on my bag are the ones we bought together.” you resisted his need to buy another keychain.

“please? i saw one of two bears with a heart on their cheek, it’s just like us.” he pouted.

“woonhak…” the barrier of resistance slowly falling down.

“just one more!” he rubbed his hands together, begging you like a puppy begging for a treat.

“fine! but it’s on you.” you jokingly rolled your eyes.

“if i pay, you give me a kiss.” he grinned.

“i’d do it for free.” you smiled, moving your face closer to his, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. which left him frozen, mouth slightly open in shock.

he’s the type of guy to want a kiss or a hug and then get shocked when he gets it. again, more puppy energy.

[mamayan]

Hi! Can you do a yandere hawks please?

My first request for Hawks~ Of course Nonnie~♡

Yandere Keigo Takami x GN! Darling

For Your Safety

cw: NSFW • Obsessive/Possessive Themes • Abuse of power • Gaslighting • Stalking/Breaking & Entering • Noncon/Forced relationship • Pet names • Delusional Themes • Sub! Reader

You shouldn’t have answered the door.

You opened it without even checking through the peephole, to find no one else but the infamous pro-hero Hawks standing on your door step.

“Hello~ Ya know, sorry to bother you so late but…,” he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, eyes closed in a harmless sign as he raises his free hand up sheepishly, “I got a call for a health and wellness check for you.”

Those sharp yellow orbs were like a predators as he opened his eyes.

“You wouldn’t be in any danger…would you?” His voice drops an octave, and you immediately feel the danger you’re in the second pieces of a puzzle begin falling together.

The feathers you’d find in your home. The feeling of being watched constantly. The strange and delusional love letters.

You weren’t anything special. So why was this happening to you?

“N-no… I’m okay, th-thank you though—,” you can’t close the door, his foot wedged between the little opening.

“You sure? You seem a little nervous~ you wouldn’t mind if I came in and just checked around right?” That smile is anything but harmless, lips angled up in a grin that doesn’t reach his hard and calculating eyes.

Boxes of unfinished packing rests in your nearly empty living room. The last moving truck gone for the day, back tomorrow morning for the last few loads to your new apartment in a different city.

“I’m fine, really, I don’t think—,” then you’re on your ass and the door is opening. He’s not a big man, in fact, his stature is average at best, but the complete lack of strength used by Hawks proves he’s more than meets the eye.

“I really wasn’t asking chickadee~” then your door is closing and the deadbolt locking in place.

He appreciates the view you’re offering him, sat on your butt on the floor and looking up at him with tears brimming in your depths.

“Aww~ don’t worry baby, I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.” He coos at your fear, even placing his hands on his knees and bending down like one might to a toddler. “See, I just got worried when I saw you were making such a big move, all by yourself, you know?” He’s following you as you shuffle back on your hands, hands in his pockets casually and he looks at all the quick work you’d put in to getting out of town as quickly as possible.

“Really hurts my feelings, ya know? Man, it’s a pain too, calling up the moving company and having them change addresses. They overcharge these days.” Not that money was even a problem for him, he just enjoyed the terrified realization dawning on you. He loves the attention, the focus you give him now, as if a bomb could go off but you wouldn’t notice with how centered you were on him.

“It’s okay baby, I know change can make us do stupid things, it seems scary now, huh?” He’s got you backed against a wall, crouching down to your level on his haunches as he gives you what seems like a reassuring smile. “I’m a forgiving guy, so I won’t hold this time against you.”

“Why…?” His head tilts in amusement as you ask the one question driving you crazy.

“Why what, chickadee? You’ll need to be more specific for me.”

“Why this… why me…?” He’s smiling genuinely this time, cheeks flushed and pupils dilated. Then he’s closing in on you, cool thin lips pressed against your warm tear soaked cheeks as he speaks lowly.

“You’re just so pathetic, how can I leave you alone? Always so clumsy, never paying attention to your surroundings, so weak. You’d be dead without my supervision. I like you though, even if you’re incapable of existing without me, so sweet and cute.” It doesn’t matter that you’re sobbing, he’s merely hushing you and dragging you to your bedroom, mattress on the floor without your bed frame.

“It’s okay, chickadee~ you’re good for something at least!” He chirps happily, tossing you on the bed with a smile as he goes for his pants. “I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful mate, staying home and safely inside is the best for you anyway.” He’s crazy, truly delusional as he strips shamelessly before you, stroking his hard cock with a wild gleam in his eyes.

Red feathers dust the ground as he grabs you before you can escape, easily tearing off your clothing as you beg and sob for this to stop.

“Shh, it’s okay now, I’ve got you, you don’t need to scared anymore~♡” Not even for a second considering what you fear is him.

Even as he tears multiple orgasms from you, fingering your hole and licking you wet and sloppy, you still cry.

“Look at this chickadee, look how full you are!” He’s elated when he stuffs his thick cock inside you, stretching your poor hole out around his girth while he moans above you. All you can do is muffle your own pleasured moans into the sheet, shame washing you as your body so easily gives in to his touch despite your begging for him to stop.

“Please, Hawks, no more—!” Your pleas only spur him on, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy as you clamp down tight on his cock. “Just like that baby, gonna fill you up, make you mine.” He’s fucking you hard and fast, going as deeply as possible each thrust like he’s trying to imprint the shape of it inside you.

He laughs at your tears, huffing against your pudgy swollen cheeks and licking a strip up your face to taste the salty bitter liquid. “You need to cum again baby? That what you need?” He doesn’t notice or doesn’t care when you shake your head, shifting to sandwich his hand between you and working you over into another harsh orgasm that makes you see white.

“Fuck—that’s it chickadee, milk my cock, so fucking tight—,” his balls slap against your ass as he feels his orgasm approach, sticky with your cum and fluids as he finally settles deep and releases thick spurts of cum inside you.

“No!” You whine, trying to pull away.

“Yes!” He hisses, panting and sweating as his wings spread wide and cover your form like a protective blanket as he collapses on you, pinning you down.

He’s happy to kiss and fuck any lingering tears away until you’re pliant and doughy. Easily movable as he works to get you dressed again for the trip to your new home. He sleeps good that night knowing you’re tucked safe in his nest.

Dividers by the lovely @benkeibear

[anzulvr]

What do you think Karma would be like with a calm/chill reader who's easygoing and effortlessly charming personality sometimes turns completely 180 when they feel strong emotions? Like they can go from sweetly comforting Nagisa to yelling oddly detailed threats at Terasaka while chasing him with a metal bottle for eating her food. (Maybe mix in some passive aggressive sarcastic sass when Korosensei's being annoying?)

Karma x Chill(..but actually really passive aggressive) reader 🤗🤗 Ty for the request!! (Sorry took long)

— You don’t argue often and you are also very good at listening to everyones perspective and ideas even if they’re different from you. People view you as very understanding so seeing you actually getting into a heated fight it’s surprising at first.

— Karma is so surprised when he sees you angry for the first time like he didn’t know you had it in you to say the things you did.

— He TRIES to get you pissed off just to see you react, since you know he’s kidding and dating him gives you a soft spot for him it’s basically just him failing to annoy you.

— This one time Karma scribbled over your paper to bother you and all you did was frown for a second and erase / re do anything he messed up. (He felt bad and helped you when he realized you weren’t going to fight 😭)

— then in a group project with Yoshida (also Isogai and Rinka) Yoshida scribbled a little bit on your notes (not nearly as much damage as Karma made) but it pissed you off so badly you grabbed a marker and started scribbling on his face

“I’ve been working on those notes for days you actual dumbass”

“Hey- I’m sorry!! I’ll rewrite them— get off me your using permanent marker it’ll be hard to take off!!”

“GOOD.”

— “Damn [name] that mad?” When you hear Karma mention how you reacted you stop so fast

“I wasn’t actually mad. We we’re just playing right Yoshida?”

Only out of fear he agrees “Right..”

— You’re tolerance for everything is way higher for Karma because you like him too much to get mad, that doesn’t mean you never get mad at him it just takes a little more to.

— Some of the things you respond with are shady in the way people expect Karma and it’s just so confusing cause it feels so out of character for you.

— but it’s definitely one of the things Karma likes the most about you because 1. It’s funny 2. Hes glad to see you stand up for yourself once in a while because he’s usually the one telling people off for you.

— passive aggressiveness would come whenever Korosensei or really E class is too pushy about certain topics.

For example before Karma confessed to you theyd push you to do it first and come up with crazy plans to make things happen.

— they full on locked you in a room together and instead of waiting it out you found a way to break the doorknob (together #romanceisreal)

Angry you and happy Karma is a mix end class fears because he’ll be constantly hyping it up😭

Like you’ll be be hitting Terasaka with a notebook because he said something stupid and Karma will go:

“[Name] wait— Use this one it’s way thicker!!”

(took inspo for ur original request lollol)

Karma will support anything you try and honestly rile you up more to see what you do

Angry you and Angry Karma is definitely the worst mix of all

hell on earth

! but it hardly happens since you usually reel each other in

Just tell him to chill tf out😭

Having strong emotions isn’t all bad, you’re empathetic, kind and care for everyone in class— even Terasaka no matter how much of a pain he can be.

mom friend-ish?? (Awe yeah Mom friend definitely)

They don’t actually mind it and are grateful for the times you stand up for them bc they know you love them

Especially Karma even though you’re prone to getting into arguments like all couples do it’ll work out fine because you both care to much about eachother.

If you’re the type to remind people you love them after arguing it’s another thing he loves about you, since he himself has trouble saying he’s wrong first it’s helped him swallow his pride and apologize faster.

(Literally so cute my fave relationship dynamic)

[soldiersslut]

GHOST OF YOU — SOLDIER BOY "CHAPTER TWO"

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Female!Reader

Warnings: Language, herogasm, canon violence, Soldier Boy being himself and a smartass

Word Count: 3,649

Author's Note: I am so happy to see this story receiving so much love already. It really helps and pushes me further to continue with the story. There is so much I have planned, but all in due time. Thank you so much again!

IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED PLEASE LET ME KNOW. DON'T FORGET TO FOLLOW, HEART, AND REPOST. THANK YOU AGAIN!

It was obvious you were exhausted, it was so bad to the point you did not hear everyone else wake up and talk about the plan for the day. Eventually, Butcher left to find food. Hughie was left in charge to control Soldier Boy and his radiation level. The less angry, the better. Soldier Boy remained on his side of the bed and watched TV. From time to time he would look down at you.

“Is she always a heavy sleeper?” he asked. Hughie looked up from his phone and observed.

“Yesterday was a hard day so I don’t blame her for sleeping in.”

Soldier Boy nodded and still stared. “I remember when I first met her, man, she was a firecracker. Nothing could get past her. It’s surprising to see her sleeping so peacefully like this.”

Hughie furrowed his eyebrows together. “I’m sorry, you two know each other?” That made no sense to Hughie. Last time Soldier Boy had awaken was back in the 70s. You weren’t even born yet.

“Are you stupid or fucking stupid? Of course I have. We served—” and on cue, Butcher entered with food. Hughie looked down at the radiation reader and realized it had gone up once again. Maybe it was best if Hughie doesn’t bring it up again. Though he will mention it to Butcher when they are alone.

Butcher dropped the food on the table and shook you to wake up. “Morning sunshine, get up and eat. I am going to head back out again in a bit to find the twins’ location.”

You opened your eyes and rubbed them. The sun was hitting your face and it was bothering you.

“I need a shower first,” you said. Quickly, you strode to the bathroom and locked the door. You stared at yourself in the mirror expecting to see bruises but there was nothing. The water pressure was not as strong as you would like it to be, so it took a bit longer than the normal shower time to finish. You were able to overhear everything and constantly rolled your eyes at Soldier Boy’s arrogant voice.

Soldier Boy was already becoming a headache, and you have yet to hold an actual conversation with him. The few moments you have heard him speak has been cruel and perverted.

He’s also suffered betrayal.

You sighed and wondered what else did Soldier Boy have inside his pandora box. He is unpredictable, and that made him dangerous. When the water began to run cold you knew it was time to get out. You dried off and put on the same clothes from yesterday.

Butcher had announced he had a contact who will be able to get him the TNT twins location.

“I am going with you.”

The more you avoided Soldier Boy the better. Last night’s words were still at the forefront of your mind and as much as you would like to ask him right now he is short-tempered and your attitude from last night hasn’t helped.

“Why the fuck can she go, but I cannot?” Soldier Boy demanded to know. You beat Butcher to the punch and rebutted back.

“Because you are Soldier Boy and at any moment anyone can recognize you. The last thing we need is you blowing up again and taking us down with us. So shut up, eat your food, and let us get to work.”

Soldier Boy’s jaw clenched. “You got a lot of fucking nerve talking to me that way. Last time I remember the men used to put women in their place. When the hell did society go wrong.”

Your jaw dropped slightly. Soldier Boy was a lot of things and maybe it should not be shocking he is being a misogynistic prick, but the fact he still thinks society has not moved on from that. “And you still wonder why you aren’t coming with us?”

That was the last thing you said before marching out of the room. Butcher wanted to ease the tension in the room, “might be that time of the month.” He left and followed you to the car. You were already inside with your arms cross.

“Don’t even think about making me apologize to him,” you warned.

Butcher let out a groan, “I won’t make you apologize but you need to butter it up with him. At the rate you are going he is going to bloody blast you. Do not let him get to you.”

You went on a rant after that.

“How do you expect me to not say anything to him? I am not going to worship the ground he walks on. If he wants respect then he needs to give it back.” Butcher agrees, but they need to be prioritizing the bigger picture and that is Homelander’s death in the hands of Soldier Boy.

Bucher decided to switch topics and discuss who was his contact. It is a C-list Supe who was friends with the twins before they were apart of Payback. The drive was over within an hour. “Let me do the talking, last thing we need is for you to make another enemy.”

If that was Butcher’s way to humor, he sucked. The Supe had no problem in giving away the location of the twins. On the drive back you decided to voice your concerns.

“Did I tell you what Crimson Countess said before her death?”

Butcher shook her head. You explained what happened inside the trailer and shared your concern with the way Soldier Boy acts around you. Granted, he is a dick but he allows you to talk to him the way you do. If it was anyone else he was quick to get offensive.

“Countess probably confused you with someone else. When you know you are at death’s door you are desperate to say anything, and with what you are telling me she was just trying to get under his skin,” he shrugged.

It still wasn’t convincing enough, “then why stare so fucking much?”

Butcher let out a chuckle. “Be serious, he’s been asleep since the 80s. He probably wants to pull his wanker and let one out at the thought of you.” You looked at him terrified.

He began to laugh just looking at your reaction. In the end you were convinced that it was all in your head and the answers were right in front of you. Upon returning Butcher informed Soldier Boy and Hughie that we will be heading out to Vermont.

Most of the conversation happened between Butcher and Hughie. You were sitting in the back with Soldier Boy and just like before, your knee touched his. Only difference this time is his hand was resting on his knee and his pinky reached out to touch your knee.

The car was parked a good distance away to avoid detection. The rest was walked on foot. “So, what is happening here?” you asked. Hughie looked through the binoculars and to both of your surprise this was herogasm.

Soldier Boy took pride in admitting that he founded it, and Liberty helped him with it. Your scrunched up face was obvious and he took notice. He smirked for a second and focused back the task at hand.

“Just give me three minutes,” Hughie suggested.

“I can go with him to cover more ground,” you offered yourself.

Soldier Boy shook his head. “Absolutely not. You are going to sit this one out.”

For a moment it felt like a vein popped on your temple. “The hell you mean I am staying here? I am not some damsel in distress. I can take care of myself and the sooner we finish this the better.”

Soldier Boy’s jaw clenched again and he got closer. He towered over you. “Trust me, sweetheart, with the way you are speaking to me I wouldn’t want to save you. Honestly, where the fuck did this attitude come from?” he snapped.

“Has it ever crossed your mind that you are the problem?”

Hughie interrupted, “I’m just gonna go.” In seconds, he was gone and without his clothes.

You were too angry to argue with Soldier Boy, let alone look at him. Those three minutes felt too long. After time has passed, Butcher and Soldier Boy left to infiltrate.

“Stay,” Soldier Boy ordered and pointed his finger. The binoculars were handed it to you. You faked a smile and watched them leave. Like hell you were going to stay. As soon as they walked through the doors to the house you were on the move. Instead of entering through the front door you went through the pool door. You have seen a lot of things, but never in your mind would you have ever imagined a Supe orgy.

You did your best to avoid everything and everyone. The last thing you needed is to give someone the wrong impression, and anger Soldier Boy.

It was surprising to see one area of the house empty.

“MM,” you said, shocked to see him here. He was also shocked, but he knew that meant one thing. He called out to you demanding to know where Soldier Boy was. You explained the plan and noticed his eyes diverted behind you.

“One simple fucking order, you cannot even handle that?!”

You could recognize that voice anywhere at this point. Slowly, you turned and noticed just how angry Soldier Boy appeared. Though, between him and MM you weren’t sure who was angrier. Without wasting a second MM threw the halothane glass and Soldier Boy inhaled it in as if it were a Marlboro cigarette.

“MM, no!” you yelled, and tried to push him back but he was determined to fight Soldier Boy.

Butcher had to come in and stop Soldier Boy from proceeding further. He gave Soldier Boy the information he wanted.

“You are coming with me,” he ordered and yanked your arm; dragging you with him.

“Let go of me!” you yelled and started hitting him, but he was not budging. Both of you came to a stop in one of the living rooms and noticed the horribly aged TNT twins. Why is he so keen in taking you everywhere.

Crimson Countess was able to remain cool and calm partially, but these twins screamed guilty based on their reaction and stuttering. It was obvious how they tensed up almost to the point they froze on the spot.

“Holy shit, mimicry! You’re alive!” Tessa spoke up, sounding a little too excited. She opened her arms expecting some hug from you and she even dared to move closer. Soldier Boy stood in front of you.

“Don’t you dare come near her or I will rip those fucking arms off of you” he threatened.

Tessa backed up right away.

“What is she talking about? Who is Mimicry?” you asked. You placed your hand on Soldier Boy’s shoulder; trying to get him to move out of the way. Soldier Boy looked at your hand placement and then looked at you. This was his moment to test out his theory and ask once again who exactly are you.

“You’re Mimicry,” Tommy answered and let out a light but nervous laugh as if it was the most obvious thing.

“Mimi, please help us. Tell Ben that all of this was a mistake and we didn’t mean any of it.”

At this point the twins might as well get on their knees and beg. You could feel Soldier Boy tense up under your touch. You looked at him and noticed his behavior was completely off. He was no longer portraying a confident soldier. This time, you can see a man attempting to fight off his demons.

“The hell is wrong with you?” you asked. You stood in front of him and tried to make him snap out of it. The twins saw an opportunity and aimed for your back. Soldier Boy noticed and pushed you out of the way. You hit the wall and went unconscious.

When you woke up you had the biggest headache, and your back was sore. You remembered what happened before and quickly got up from the floor. People were crying, screaming, and there was lots of bodies everywhere. You let out a sentence full of profanities and walked around. Soldier Boy was nowhere seen, neither was anyone else.

You called out to Butcher, Hughie, and MM. Shit, you even called out to Soldier Boy. From a distance you could hear fists connecting to bones, bodies hitting the walls, buzzing sounds, and just a lot of fighting. You didn’t even have to say anything to see who was fighting. Your eyes went wide at the sight of the familiar United States cape fighting against Butcher and Soldier Boy.

Soldier Boy was thrown to the ground while Homelander choked Butcher. He raised him up from the ground.

“Hey!” you yelled, without giving it a second thought. You pulled out your gun from its holster and started shooting at Homelander. It was expected the bullets were not going to hurt Homelander but it is a big enough distraction he didn’t choke Butcher to death. Just as you predicted, Homelander dropped Butcher to the ground and turned to look at you.

Homelander burst out laughing, “and what exactly can a human do against me?” Without a second thought his eyes glowed red and aimed at you. It was instinctual to try and use your arms to block off the lasers, but they were not going to do shit against him. You had closed your eyes expecting the worse but nothing came your way. You opened your eyes and they went wide to see Soldier Boy in front of you, and holding off the laser with his shield.

“Not a damsel in distress, huh?!” he asked. Of course he had to be a smartass. “Listen to me for once and hide!”

You knew better now than to get in the way. This time you did listen to him and ran out. You were out of breath by the time you got outside. Annie called out to you. “We need you, there’s a lot of people hurt!”

This was the best thing to do. This is what you were good at. Without a second thought you began to help people as much as you can all until ambulances showed up and took over. Loud, shattered glass can be heard above and you looked up to see Homelander leaving in a rush. A wave of relief washed over you. Soldier Boy, Butcher, and Hughie walked out. Soldier Boy was looking through the crowd until he saw you.

You knew there was no fighting him in staying. You looked at Annie and MM. They were both frustrated at the thought of you leaving.

“I’m sorry,” you said and walked towards the other group. Soldier Boy was satisfied and all four of you left. They explained what happened with Homelander.

“I’m still waiting on the thank you.”

This was unavoidable, and it was tempting to roll your eyes but now was not the appropriate time.

“You will get your thank you when I feel like it,” you mumbled knowing he heard you.

Soldier Boy scoffed and shook his head. “Fuck! Nothing I do satisfies you!”

“Will you two give it a rest?! It has been a very long day” Butcher protested, obviously irritated.

“You want a thank you, fine! Thank you, Soldier Boy. Thank you for actually being a hero and saving someone. What would we ever do without you?” you sarcastically spoke.

Soldier Boy’s jaw clenched, “you know what, fuck you and I hope your pussy dries up every time some guy wants to screw you.”

“And I hope you get STDs.”

The car ride fell into a tensed silence. You nor Soldier Boy could say anything without provoking each other. Hughie asked Butcher where they will be going for the night, and there is only one place Butcher could think of.

The Legend.

It was approximately a five to six hour car ride. You were trying hard to not fall asleep but it was inevitable. Now that you were not on a fight or flight mode your body began to ache, and it demanded rest. By the time they arrived to Legend’s home you were in deep sleep. Hughie tried to wake you up.

“Let her sleep. She sounds better like this” Soldier Boy said.

He didn’t wait for Butcher or Hughie to say anything. He put the shield on his back and walked around the car to open your door. He opened it and caught you in his arms. You were so deep asleep you didn’t realize Soldier Boy had lifted you in his arms and carried you inside as if your the weight of paper.

Butcher knocked hard on the door. It was the middle of the night and they needed a place to rest. Legend was more asleep than awake when he heard the knock. He was ready to yell at whomever was waking him up at this hour but seeing Soldier Boy carry you in his arms, it was like deja vu.

“It has been a very long, and shitty day. Where can I put her down?” Soldier Boy asked. Legend was too shocked to say anything. It’s impossible for you to be alive. Butcher snapped Legend out of it and pointed to where the bedrooms are located. When Butcher, Hughie, and MM came to visit you weren’t with them.

“I need a drink,” Legend said.

“At this hour?” Hughie asked, sounding concerned.

Legend nodded and poured himself a drink all the way to the top. Soldier Boy walked out of the room where he placed you down, and marched towards Legend with purpose.

“Wait—” Soldier Boy did not give Legend a chance to speak. He grabbed him and lifted him up from the ground, slamming him against a wall. Butcher and Hughie rushed to get Soldier Boy off of Legend.

“I swear to you, Mimicry is dead! That isn’t Mimicry! It’s impossible!” Legend explained, fear can be heard in his tone.

“You’re lying! How is she here then?!”

Soldier Boy was angry, he was practically seeing red. Flashes of Mimicry’s body appeared in his mind. She died in his arms and yet, she is here.

“Because that isn’t her! I don’t know how it is possible but Vought retrieved Mimicry’s body from Russia. There was an open casket ceremony! I went and she got buried with her suit! I saw when they put her on the ground!”

Finally, Soldier Boy put Legend down.

“Can someone explain what the bloody hell is going on?!” Butcher was angry. Something was going on and everyone appears to be afraid to say something.

“You will not understand because Vought deleted everything about Mimicry, but she was a member of Payback for the longest time. She was Soldier Boy’s right hand and possibly the most loyal one to him. She died trying to break this one out of Russia. The Russians told Vought what happened and Vought believed the safest thing to do was to make everyone forget about her. Nowadays, no one knows she ever existed.”

The Legend moved to one of the drawers. He opened it and looked through it until he found what he was looking for. He handed it to Butcher.

“Holy shit,” said Hughie. Butcher and Hughie were speechless. It was you and Soldier Boy. His hand was around your waist, holding you close, and your arm was on his waist. The cameraman caught the perfect moment of the both of you staring into each other’s eyes. There was a smile on your face. It was the definition of a woman in love.

Legend continued to speak, “the person in the room is not Mimicry, unless she has demonstrated any superpower. That is not her.”

For Soldier Boy it felt like someone ripped through his chest and held a tight grip on his heart. The more Legend spoke, the more it got twisted.

“What were Mimicry’s powers?” Butcher asked.

“She was able to get any Supe’s power with a touch. Including my own,” Soldier Boy answered. This time he poured himself a drink.

“It still doesn’t make any sense. She is human, and obviously Mimicry isn’t. We have seen pictures of her growing up and having a normal life. She has never shown any powers” Hughie explained.

“The woman in the room isn’t Mimicry.” Soldier Boy had been in denial of it but he remembered your hand on his shoulder back at herogasm, and yet there was no display of power.

“If this isn’t Mimicry, how is it she looks exactly like her? Did Vought clone her?” Hughie and Butcher had so many questions.

Legend shook his head, “if they were going to start cloning Supes I would have heard something by now. Truthfully, there is no explanation. Almost as if God and heaven, or even the devil, wanted to give Mimicry another chance at life. She always dreamed of a family, sadly it was taken away from her. She had a baby and that baby lived, and so on. What I can guarantee is that she is from Mimicry’s lineage.”

Soldier Boy stared out the window with the cup on his hand. Once again he felt himself lied to. He was being given something back, and now it feels like it got taken from him.

Your entire existence is a sick and twisted lie, and he despises you for carrying her face. He is reminded every time he has to look at you.

“This has never happened before with any Supes ever. Word is barely spreading that Supes can have babies when Mimicry was the first to ever have one a long time ago. If Vought finds out about her existence,” Legend warned and pointed to the room where you continued to sleep, “they will come for her.”

Next Chapter: Chapter Three

Author's Note: Phew! A lot got unpacked and I hope it is making sense! We will be speeding through the end of season three (with a few changes) in one or two chapters, and afterwards it will be my take of season four and further on. Thank you so much again for all the love and support!

Tagged List: @seven709 @sadpods @mayafatimakhan @deans-spinster-witch @justiceforquentin @ultracarpediemfan @bitchykittenconnoisseur @spacecowgirl126

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

iv. you and me would be a big conversation

— the one where both of you have big reputations.

warnings: this one got a little long sorry, bashing towards charles and y/n (i love them ok), taylor swift references,2.6k words.

masterlist ✢ next

FROM DATF1GURL ON TIKTOK: "IS Y/N Y/LN AFTER CHARLES LECLERC NOW?"

[female voiceover]: ❝(...) while it is true she has a contract with Elix the new MAJOR sponsor for Ferrari—horrible drink by the way—rumor has it y/n's actual goal is to get the monegasque driver to spare a glance her way... Like, okay girl, but you left a 3-year relationship five minutes ago, chill.❞

IN pure Taylor Swift fashion, y/n y/ln has found her own ‘Getaway Car’ in none other than the 25-year-old Monegasque Formula 1 pilot, Charles Leclerc.

While nothing’s been confirmed, (come on now, what celebrity will just confirm rumors of their own free will in this day and age? Screw you, PR agents) the actress has been seen at two Grand Prix and the Elix contract gives her good camouflage for being constantly photographed with her new beau.

No matter how much sex-appeal these two exude, let’s not forget that we have a victim here: Aidan Kim. How can you leave a three year relationship with the man that gave you everything and not even two months later you’re already with someone else?

Is it a rebound or are we looking at something serious? In your humble writer’s opinion it’s most likely the former. And let’s not forget what Taylor Swift, in her infinite wisdom, said: “Nothing good starts in a getaway car”, it doesn’t matter if it’s a Ferrari.

SEE ALSO:

→ Aidan Kim buys new home in Sherman Oaks.

→ Every celebrity present at the Miami Grand Prix.

→ Is y/n y/ln really done with RomComs?

May 13th, Los Angeles, California.

“ARE you sure this is who you want as your rebound, babe?” Victoria places the magazine down and turns her head to look at you, using the precise force and tilt for her sunglasses to slide down to the tip of her nose.

“Stop reading that garbage,” you warn, not bothering to change your position in the chaise-longue, you don’t even look away from the script in your hands.

The day started pretty well, sunny Los Angeles made you feel hopeful for the first time in a while as you opened the script Mildred sent you when you got back from Miami. A drama about a young widow. You can work with that.

“I just mean—” Vic shifts her whole body in your direction, “—You have options, what about Timothée? I’m pretty sure the Kylie thing is fake. And he wouldn’t say no to you.”

“Stop that, Vic,” this time you do look her way for emphasis, you mean it. “I’m not looking for a rebound, or anything else for that matter. I want a job.”

“Fine,” Vic makes a show of capturing her lip between her teeth to pronounce the “F” and lies back in the chair. “I’m just saying…”

You’re glad to be wearing sunglasses, so she can’t see the way your eyes rollback. To be fair, you’re at Vic’s house so she has every right to occupy the same space as you at any given minute. Which is all the time.

After the breakup you ran to Vic’s Los Angeles home and left the SoHo apartment to Aidan. Vic's house is amazing, with eight rooms, five bathrooms, a black granite kitchen and of course, the pool. But you miss New York, even if you can fit your own room two times in one of Vic's. At least, according to rumors, Aidan is moving out of the apartment so you might be able to return to it soon.

“I think it’s bullshit that they see me breathing near a guy and suddenly we’re dating,” you drop the stack of papers on your legs, startling Vic with the sound. “Bullshit.”

“It’s just tabloids, babe.” Vic goes quiet, knowing she’s annoyed you and now you feel guilty about that too.

“I know,” you sigh, picking the script back up. Suddenly you don’t like it that much anymore.

Of course you know it’s just tabloids. People talk shit just for fun, but you’ve been their main target for a few weeks now and you cannot wait for them to move on. Which seems unlikely.

You've never been more glad about turning down a Yankees game invite.

Following Ferrari’s disappointing Sunday and the respective mandatory Elix pictures, you hung around the Suite a little longer in aims of gathering your thoughts and the will to leave to meet Vic at another after-party.

“Hola y/n! I thought you’d left,” Carlos carried his bag in one hand as he struggled to put his sunglasses with the other.

“I’m about to,” you smiled at him, locking your phone. “You too?”

“Yep, going straight to the airport. See you in Italy?” he asked, running his now free hand through his black hair, all set.

“See you there, Carlos.” you waved him goodbye before leaning back on the couch.

Vic had apologized for the shenanigans she'd pulled the previous night, saying she knew she should have asked you instead of just running with things. So you were looking forward to the after-party, it would be fun to hang out with your best friend after making up.

It wasn’t even five minutes before Charles came out too, hanging up a call in his half-destroyed iPhone.

“Oh hey!” He greeted cheerfully, the bad aftertaste from the race wasn't evident in his demeanor anymore. They had their debrief and Charles was willing to let go of the negativity momentarily.

“Hi Charles,” your not-as-cheerful tone didn’t bother him one bit. “Are you flying back today too?”

You couldn’t picture yourself in an eight hour flight after everything they’d done today, but they’re not really regular humans.

“We’re driving to New York, actually,” his hand hovered over the refreshment table, until he picked one of the leftover Elix. Charles examined the black can he chose before speaking again, “We’re going to a Yankees game tomorrow.”

“That’s very nice, Charles.”

He hates Elix as much as the next person so you can't help but wonder why he drinks them even when the cameras are off. Carlos and you never do.

“Would you like to join us?” He offered, the last word deafened by the click of the can as he opened it.

You took a few seconds to process the question, long enough for Charles to down about half the can in one gulp.

“Thank you, but I’m flying back to L.A. tomorrow.”

Charles' mouth went down in one corner and you were uncertain whether it was your answer or the taste that caused it. He tilted the can making the remaining liquid dance.

“Maybe another time,” he added, downing the rest of the blueberry flavored Elix. “Don’t worry.”

“Thanks for asking me, though,” you smiled, grabbing your purse from the couch. You had recovered enough energy already, and you didn't want to miss the DJ set at the party. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“Thanks y/n,” his mouth was still frozen in that slight wince and you shook your head gently at the sight of the empty Elix. “I'll see you in Italy, right?”

“I’ll be there.” you assured, although you hoped not. But a week didn’t seem like enough time to secure a gig.

YOU land in Italy the day the Grand Prix gets canceled. Which is very much just your luck. It’s for the better, though, safety must always come first.

It makes no sense to run back to America when you have nothing else to do, so you resolve to stay in Rome and catch up with a few friends you have around. Matilde Bassi being the best among them, and she would rather die than let you stay in a hotel instead of her house.

"I said no," she repeats, and her accent—although barely even there— reminds you of Charles for a split second, before your brain lets go of the image. "I've told you a million times to come visit, I won't let you stay in a hotel."

You give up after that because you don't want to annoy her. Matilde has quite the strong character, which is the reason she got to Broadway in the first place. After years of being in New York, where you met her, she decided to move back to Italy. Mati, still pursuing her passion, is currently the European public's favorite Juliet.

The fact that all of this goes down in a phone call gives you time to pick up what little stuff you've gotten out of your suitcase and check-out of the hotel before Matilde gets there to take you to her house.

─────────

"So, how are you doing?" she asks, refilling your wine before moving back to the stove, where she's cooking your favorite Italian meal.

"I'm fine, I've told you," you chuckle, sipping the drink. Her house is beautiful too, and spacious, but it feels homey compared to Vic's. "Taking it easy."

One thing you tend to forget about Matilde is how she is able to see right through your bullshit, and that's exactly what she's doing now.

"You never take it easy, y/n. And I mean how are you really? How do you feel? A lot has changed for you lately." she flips her head back to remove a stray curl of hair out of her eyes, "You can be honest."

"I'm fine, seriously, Mati," you know drinking so fast will make the wine go straight to your head but you'll do anything to avoid really talking about this. Which is unfair, Matilde is being genuine.

"You moved from one coast to the opposite and you're fine? What are you working on right now?"

You sigh, managing to smell your own alcoholic breath. "I'm with Victoria, and I've lived in Los Angeles before, while filming, it's not a big deal. As for work... I'm just– picking some stuff out, seeing the best options."

Matilde nods and turns around to grab two plates from the sky blue cupboards behind her. "Are you planning on going back to New York?"

"Yeah, hopefully," you get up to help her and she gestures for you to take a seat again. "My name was on the lease and Aidan is moving out of the apartment, according to People Magazine, anyway so..."

"Your apartment was amazing," Matilde smiles, reminiscing the girls' nights you spent together while she worked in New York, it was always so much fun to be with Mati. "I hope you can go back. If that makes you happy, that is."

She manages to carry both steaming plates and the bottle of wine to the table, and finally sits down. "Well, enjoy!"

"Thank you, Mati, this smells amazing," you missed Mati's cooking so much because no matter how many Italian restaurants you visit, nothing compares to hers, and you're also glad to have something on your stomach that will make the effects of the wine go away.

Or that's what you hoped for anyway, because you're halfway through another cup of wine, almost done with your food, when you drop the grenade you've left unpinned in your brain for 2 months.

"I don't miss him," you whisper, resting the fork gently on the edge of the plate, between two of the yellow flowers painted on it. "Am I a horrible person because I don't miss him?"

You gave it a lot of thought ever since you took the plane from New York to L.A. the night you said no. You thought—still think—there's something wrong with you because the feeling that something was ripped out of your life and the hole that it left would never be filled never even appeared. There was no hole, it was a scar already, and you picked at it trying to make it bleed. But nothing happened. Nothing ever happens.

"You're not a horrible person, y/n don't say that."

You're glad Mati doesn't let silence fall between you, it would have made you regret everything that left your mouth, but she's already reaching for your hand and you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Mourning the idea of someone is worse than mourning their absence. And you had missed Aidan for a long time, even when he was with you.

"I just feel awful for leaving and not wanting to go back, I hate myself for being okay."

The rejected proposal is something you keep close to you still. You love Mati, and you trust her, but you cannot bring yourself to touch that subject.

Mati squeezes your hand, her food forgotten as well. "I'm glad you're okay. I liked Aidan, too. But you're my friend, and I love you and all I want is for you to be better than okay."

"Thank you Mati," it's her words that actually get the tears flowing, and you wipe them quickly with your free hand. "Sorry for dumping this on you so suddenly." you give a choked laugh before clearing your throat.

"I did tell you you could be honest," she laughs, giving your hand a last squeeze before letting it go. "How about we just go straight to dessert?"

You nod, grateful that she leaves to get the tiramisu you bought on the way home from the fridge so you can pull yourself together.

MONACO welcomes you the Sunday before the Grand Prix. Which you are excited about, for the first time in a while.

Matilde proves to be the best company once again, knowing her way around Monaco like it's her own home. You're glad she's attending the Grand Prix too and you were able to get her into the Ferrari Suite with you, unlike your failed attempt at Miami with Vic.

One thing you find out about Monaco pretty soon, is that they're obsessed with Charles Leclerc. He's in buses and billboards and you can see people waiting to catch a glimpse of him outside grocery stores. It warms you up inside that he's so loved in his own country, not many people can relate.

You don't love, however, that the articles online have brought attention to your presence in Monaco too. And although it’s far less than the one Charles gets for obvious reasons, the heat that comes from it is closer to ire than affection.

Still, you take photos with those who ask on your way back from dinner with Mati and ignore the “you’re here for your boyfriend, huh?” Questions that come from people with their cameras millimeters away from your face. Saying “it’s not like that” isn’t worth the effort because it won’t work.

May 23rd Montecarlo, Monaco.

Mati is introducing you to other celebrities that attended the All-Stars game, when Charles comes back from signing autographs to the part of the stadium where you are. He's messy, dirty and all dimples—again— which you start to find annoying. Although it's mildly sweet how he always smiles at you when your eyes meet, you cannot allow yourself to think of that too often. He's a nice guy, he's being nice.

"Hi y/n, I thought I'd see you until the weekend," he greets you, still drying off the sweat from the back of his neck.

You shrug, making way for a couple of guys who give Charles a bro hug, joke about the several mistakes he made during the match and then leave, acknowledging you in the form of a quick scan.

"Good game," you can't help the small laugh that follows the compliment, but Charles only smiles wider.

"I'm a natural," he replies, but takes his hand to the place he hit when he face planted. "Don't you think?"

"Definitely," you laugh again, raising both eyebrows. "I'm just glad you stick to racing."

"Me too," it's his turn to shrug, and run a hand through his damp hair.

“How was New York?” You look over your shoulder to Mati, who’s holding her own conversation a few steps away. “Did you have fun?”

“It was really fun, noisy, big. It’s a shame you couldn’t come.”

“Thank you again for inviting me. I do miss New York, but i had things to do.” You let the air out of your lungs hoping, albeit stupidly, he can’t see in your face that the things you did was read stuff on the internet about the two of you together.

“Oh you live in New York? That’s wonderful, so you know your way around. Lorenzo and I got lost.”

You chuckle gently. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Ready to go?” Mati puts an arm around you, smiling. “Hello, Charles.”

So it is true everyone knows each other in these circles.

“Hello Matilde,” Charles smiles back at her, “I won’t keep you any longer, y/n.”

“No worries, it was nice seeing you.”

“I’ll see you soon, maybe I can show you a place or two in Monaco.” Charles is very casual, but his eyes don’t leave yours for a heartbeat.

Matilde tilts her head and her ponytail falls into your shoulder, the small hairs tickling your ear.

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks Charles.” You shake your head away from Mati’s and wave Charles goodbye as he walks by you.

“My advice,” Mati is still holding you by the shoulder. “If I may be nosy… You don’t want to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Charles Leclerc. You don’t wanna do that, y/n.”

You roll your eyes but Mati is unbothered by the gesture. “I’m not doing anything, Mati. He’s being nice, we see each other every weekend.”

“He is a homie hopper, trust me, run don’t walk.”

You tsk, making her shake her head this time. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not doing that, never, ever.”

And although you intend to keep your promise, the first thing you do once your phone is hooked to the hotel’s wifi, is google Charles and his reputation.

Even if you know better than anyone that the internet is full of lies.

─── team principal radio: ❝hello! i really enjoyed creating this chapter, especially the fake media so i hope you've enjoyed it too. thanks for reading!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @majx00

[desperate-gay]

The Look of Love

Ali Krieger x fem!reader

summary: fake dating one of your best friends turns out to be one of the best lies of your life

“-It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Says you! It’s going to be so embarrassing for me.”

Ali turns her head and sees you and Kelley bickering back and forth. She can’t help but notice the cute pout on your face as you playfully stump your foot and huff at the defender.

“Now what are you two arguing about?” Alex asks, giving the both of you a pointed look.

“Our friend here has been invited to her brother’s wedding, but she doesn’t have a plus one,” Kelley informs while resting her hands on your shoulders, making you roll your eyes and head over to your locker.

“It’s not how it sounds. My family constantly pesters me about how my siblings are either engaged, married, or even having a kid. I don’t even have a girlfriend! I just don’t want to deal with people asking me where my plus one is on my brother’s special day.” You sigh, shaking your head and pulling your sweaty training jersey over your head.

You only have two siblings; one brother and one sister. Your sister has been married for around two years and is now pregnant with her second child, and now your brother is getting married. A little over a year ago, you were dating a girl you thought would be your endgame until you caught her kissing some other girl at a coffee shop. At the time when invitations were sent, you expected to have someone attending with you, but now you don’t.

“So why don’t you bring a fake date?” Christen shrugs as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, so when she turns around, she notices everyone staring at her. “What?”

“That’s genius! Y/n/n you’ve got to do it.”

Everyone begins to agree with Kelley and Christen while you stay quiet with a hesitant look on your face. Ali also remains silent, observing your reactions to see what your thoughts are about it.

“Guys I- I don’t even know where I would begin to look for someone willing to do something like this, yet learn everything about them within two days.”

“Then one of us can help you!” Kelley says, expanding her arms, gesturing around the whole locker room. “C’mon, it will be a win-win. No family bothering you about your love life and your brother gets his day.”

Thinking of all the pros and cons, you eventually agree to the plan.

“Well, who’s gonna be my girlfriend for a day?” You ask, sighing at how stupid it sounds.

“I can’t because I have plans with Sam in Australia-“

“-me neither, I have to be out of state but the end of tomorrow.”

A bunch of the girls start spitting out excuses and their plans for the week. You just roll your eyes and continue packing your kit bag up.

“I’ll do it.”

Your head immediately snaps up along with everyone else’s. Silence overcomes the room, but you continue to stare at the person who volunteered.

“Wha- wait, seriously?” You stammer with your eyes slightly wider than usual.

“I don’t see why not. I don’t have any plans and I can help you out.” Ali shrugs nonchalantly while the rest of the room remains quiet, silently watching the interaction between you two.

“Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you!” Ali laughs when you bring her into a bear hug and bounce up and down before pulling away slightly, causing your moves to slow.

“It is an open bar, right?” She looks down at you with a teasing smile. You smack her shoulder and begin to pull away before she pulls you back in, laughing at your reaction.

Christen and Alex give each other a knowing look and go back to changing.

—

“Okay, let’s go over this one last time.” You say, scared that if people start asking questions about your relationship you’re not gonna have the same answers. Your rushing mind is stopped by Ali reaching out and grabbing your hand from across the table.

“Y/n/n, it’s going to be okay. We’ve known each other for years, so all we have to do is say how our first date was and maybe a few other details.” She starts gesturing her breathing by raising her hand up and down and pursing her lips for you to follow her lead.

Once your heart rate goes down to its normal level, you both head into the separate rooms of your apartment to get dressed. The wedding starts in about 2 hours, so you’re both just on time. When you step out of the room and into the living room, you notice Ali staring at you with her eyes widened and mouth slightly slacked.

“What? Does it look bad? Oh god, I cannot deal with the comments of-“ You ramble on while twisting and turning to see if there is something wrong with the dress.

“N-no, no, you just look…stunning.” The tall girl words breathlessly, admiring your loose lilac-colored dress that matches amazingly with your light face of makeup.

You blush and take in her outfit. She stands in a cream-colored suit that compliments your dress perfectly. “You also look great.”

After a minute of just looking at each other, Ali clears her throat and says, “We better get going if we don’t want to be late. M’lady?”

She holds out her arm with an opening between her forearm and bicep for you to slot your own in. You giggle, accepting her gesture while walking to her car. Being the gentlewoman she is, she opens the passenger door for you and offers you a hand so you don’t trip in your heels.

“Here we go.” You mumble before Ali starts driving.

—

You and Ali walk into the venue hand in hand while scanning over the crowded room.

“Darling!” Looking up you see your mother walking over to you with open arms.

“Hey, mom.” You accept her hug before introducing her to your girlfriend. Ali shakes her hand and makes a small conversation as if it’s the easiest thing on the planet. You begin to space out but a laugh and a hand on your lower back interrupt your thoughts.

“You okay, my love?” The girl next to you asks once her laughter dies down. The name gives you butterflies but you choose to ignore it, knowing that all of this is fake.

The reason you got into your past relationship was because of Ali. You have basically followed her to each and every one of her clubs your whole career. You met in 2013 when you both were signed to Washington Spirit, and you have been attached to each other’s hips since that day. You quickly found yourself blushing and swooning at everything the brunette did after a few months of knowing her and you carried those feelings all these years. The only people who know are Alex and Christen.

Instead of confronting your love for the defender, you tried everything to try and vanish them. Eventually, you got into a relationship with your ex when you finally started to feel something for someone else, but that ended up in the dumper.

Now you’re afraid that all your feelings are going to flood and resurface. Sure you never stopped loving her, but it didn’t feel as strong. The fact she is your fake girlfriend for the day is going to make it 10x harder to ignore the constant butterflies in your stomach and the blood rushing to your face with every word she speaks to you.

“Yeah, I’m alright. Don’t worry baby, you might get wrinkles.” You tease while wiping your thumb over her cheeks, causing the talker girl to squat your hand away with a laugh.

“I am not that old.”

You have a 6-year age gap, but you both never think of it because you’re so connected in ways that most people who are the same age are.

“Keep telling yourself that, granny.”

Your mother watches the interaction between you two with a soft smile before excusing herself to go talk to other members of your family. Your mom has always been supportive of you and always stood by your side through the tough times, so seeing you look so happy makes her heart squeeze.

—

After the vows and rings are exchanged, everyone heads over to the room where the reception is going to be held. Ali’s hand never leaving the small of your back, guides you to the room with music blaring out from it.

Most people go out onto the dance floor and sway to the music while you both find a table to sit at. She pulls out the chair for you to take a seat and places a kiss on your cheek, making your face turn all red.

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks, I’ll be right back.”

Once she’s out of sight, your mom pops a squat across from you and gives you an unreadable expression.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You ask warily, scared of what might come out of her mouth.

“She’s not your girlfriend.”

You’re taken aback by the sudden admission and start to stumble over your words. “Wha- what do you mean?”

“Oh please, you can’t lie without me figuring it out. I have mom instincts.” She states matter of factly while sipping on her champagne.

You take a look around to see if anyone is near you and lean in so she can hear you clearly without having to shout. “Okay, we’re not dating but no one can know.”

“Why did you even lie in the first place?”

“Because I can’t deal with Aunt Mary or Uncle John constantly asking when I’m going to settle down and why I haven’t yet. At least not on my brother’s and sister-in-law’s night.” You sigh, looking down at your fingers as you fiddle with the tablecloth.

Your mother reaches across the table and grasps your hand before going on to say, “I know that you love her. She’s the girl you were so hung over on before you got with she devil, isn’t she?”

You snort at the nickname your siblings and mother have given your ex. They all thought she was no good from the beginning and knew you could do better, and so did Ali but she never let you know that.

“Yeah, she is.” You nod and look over, noticing the girl you’re speaking about approaching you. Your mom also sees so she quickly says something that leaves you stunned.

“From the way she looks at you, she feels the same, even when you’re not looking she can’t keep her eyes off of you. She looks at you like you’ve hung all the stars in the sky. She loves you, sweetie.” With that, she stands up and greets Ali with a smile before heading over to the newlyweds. You continue looking shocked not noticing your plus-one setting down your glasses.

“You still there?” Ali waves her hand in front of your face, grinning once your eyes meet hers.

“Sorry, did you say something before?” You ask with a soft smile to which the older girl responds with a nod.

“I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me with a dance?” She holds out her hand, hoping you’ll take it and you do.

“I would love to.”

Right when your feet hit the dance floor, a slow song turns on making you feel as sheepish as if you were at your first middle school dance. Without hesitation, Ali intertwines one of her hands with yours and rests her other on your waist. You place your other hand right where her neck meets her shoulder before you both begin to sway. The side of your forehead presses against her cheek, keeping you close together.

Subconsciously, you inhale her perfume and sigh at the smell, and what you don’t know is Ali is doing the same thing to your hair, smelling your coconut shampoo. When you open your eyes, you look over her shoulder and notice your mom smiling at the two of you. She nods her head, signaling for you to finally confess your true feelings.

You let out a shaky breath before pulling away slightly so you can see Ali’s face. She smiles at you with her eyes remaining on yours. The crinkles on the side of her eyes make you swoon and lose your thoughts.

“Do you want to know what my mom said to me while you went to get us drinks?”

“What?” She cocks her head to the side slightly, showing you she’s pretty curious as to what was said.

“Well, first, she told me she knows that we’re not dating, and second, she insists that you love me.” You whisper the last part, hoping she doesn’t catch it but she does.

She chuckles and looks up at the ceiling before returning her gaze to you and says, “Is it that obvious?”

Your head snaps up at her statement and you look at her with a puzzled look.

“You…love me?” You ask, pointing at yourself to make sure she is indeed talking about you.

“It’s impossible not to. That doesn’t scare you, does it?” Now it’s her turn to look sheepish and scared while waiting for your response.

“No, it actually makes me extremely happy. I have been in love with you since 2013.” Your confession makes the defender smile widely which you return, both of you in your own little circle. Her eyes switch between each of yours and down to your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I will hit you if you don’t.”

Her fingers curl under your chin and pull you in, allowing your lips to finally touch. It feels like the movies where the girl kisses her one true love and her foot pops up in the middle of it. The butterflies in your stomach swarm like never before. Once you both pull back, your smiles never leave your faces. The comfortable silence between you two is interrupted by the newlyweds and your mother clapping and wooing.

You laugh into Ali’s neck while she chuckles and hugs your smaller form. She pecks your forehead and asks, “You wanna know what took me so long to get the drinks?”

“What?”

“The new bride and groom had a stern talk with me. They also knew about us not being a couple. Your family must be spies.”

Looking over her shoulder, you see the three wiggling their eyebrows and giving you a thumbs up, making you roll your eyes.

“Thanks to them, I can do this whenever I want now.”

You smash your lips against hers and hug your arms around her neck. Ali dips you down, causing you to squeal against her lips and her smile into it. She lifts you back up and hugs you.

“Can I take you on a date tomorrow?”

“You better.”

[im-so-normal-iswear]

Hi!! I love your writing!! Would it be possible for your thoughts on Ford/stan with a girlfriend who is a therapist or psychiatrist? (I’m studying psychology so this is a totally self indulgent ask!) thank you!! 🫶🏼

A/n: Ok! I'm sorry these took long

Stan/Ford pines x therapist!reader

Ford Pines:

Ford is instantly intrigued by your profession. He’s always been interested in how the human brain works, and having a girlfriend who understands the mind on such a deep level excites his curiosity.

He loves asking you questions about psychology, sometimes treating your discussions like he’s learning from a textbook.

“So, if someone were to experience prolonged exposure to isolation, how do you think that would affect their psyche?”

Ford absolutely loves to hear your insights on everything from mental health to obscure psychological theories, often adding his own knowledge of psychology.

Ford greatly values your calming presence. As someone who has gone through trauma from his interdimensional travels, Ford finds comfort in how you can guide him through his anxieties and ground him during his moments of overthinking. It’s not that he’s asking for therapy, but the way you talk and listen to him brings him a lot of peace.

Sometimes Ford gets lost in his head, overanalyzing everything or diving too deep into his research, and you’re the one who pulls him back. You know just how to approach his worries without invalidating them, and he’s beyond grateful for that.

“You always know exactly what to say to bring me back to reality. How do you do it?”

He’s particularly interested in your take on the psychological impact of interdimensional travel or exposure to anomalous phenomena.

He’ll often turn to you for discussions about the mind’s adaptability and resilience. You’ve become his go-to person for talking about the human condition in the context of the strange.

Ford is also incredibly supportive of your career and education. If you’re studying or need quiet time to work, he’ll make sure you have the perfect environment to focus. He’s always ready to offer encouragement when you’re feeling stressed.

“I know it’s a lot, but if anyone can do this, it’s you. I’ve never seen someone so dedicated to understanding the complexities of the mind.”

Ford loves sharing intellectual moments with you, like reading papers or discussing recent psychological studies. Sometimes, he even helps you with your work by giving you unique perspectives from his travels, and in turn, you help him manage the more stressful parts of his past.

Stan Pines:

Stan doesn’t fully get what a therapist or psychiatrist does at first (he’s used to handling things by “toughing it out”) but he quickly comes to appreciate how insightful you are.

“So, you talk to people about their problems? Gotta hand it to ya, you’ve got a lot of patience. I can barely deal with the customers.”

Stan is amazed at how you can listen to other people’s issues all day and still come home well. He’s constantly in awe of how much you care for others and how you help people through their darkest moments.

“You’ve gotta be some kinda saint to listen to people’s problems all day and not go crazy yourself.”

He loves that you don’t push him to talk, but when he does, you listen attentively. You’ve taught him that it’s okay to share his feelings without making him feel weak. Sometimes he’s caught off guard by how much better he feels after talking to you.

“Huh, I guess it’s not so bad… all this feelings stuff. You really know how to make a guy feel better.”

Stan appreciates your ability to see through his tough-guy act. You can read him like a book, and while it’s a little intimidating, it’s also a relief. You pick up on the small things, like when he’s more stressed than usual or when something’s bothering him.

“How do you always know what’s goin’ on in my head? It’s like you’re a mind reader or somethin’. Say how bout we put that to use in the shack? I'm joking, unless you want to.”

He loves to brag about your career, even if he doesn’t always understand it.

“Yeah, my girl’s a therapist. Helps people sort out their problems. She’s smart as hell. I dunno how she does it, but it’s pretty impressive.”

If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed by your work, Stan is the first to encourage you to take a break. He might not know all the details of your job, but he knows how important it is for you to recharge. He’ll pull you away from your books or laptop and suggest watching a movie or doing something fun together.

“You’ve been workin’ hard all day. Come on, let’s kick back and relax. You deserve it.”

He’s a little protective of you, especially if you’ve had a rough day. If you come home stressed after dealing with a difficult client, Stan will be there to comfort you in his own way, whether that’s making you laugh, cooking a simple meal, or just sitting beside you.

Stan will occasionally ask for advice, though he’ll frame it casually. “So, let’s say someone I know has a lotta stuff from their past they don’t like talkin’ about. What’d you say to help ‘em out?” He trusts you more than he’ll admit and values your wisdom, even if he’s not always ready to face his own feelings head-on.

A/n: you give them therapy they need, the end ^^

[justalia]

persistence

this is probably gonna be my last post before i retreat into a serious break because i have things outside this manifesting world i need to sort through (i’m extra happy don’t worry about me, nothing happened!) i always say i go on break but i never actually do or it lasts just a few days but i’m for real this time!

i wanted to leave before but i felt the urge to post this cause i feel there’s a lot of doubt and confusion around this topic.

many of you still view persisting as a chore, as something you HAVE TO do or else.. something you must do or else..

many of you still view persisting as a job, tiring annoying and something you don’t necessarily wanna do if it wasn’t because you are manifesting.

this stems from a complete lack of understanding of the law.

what is persistence?

now i want you to pay particular attention to the second definition:

“the continued or prolonged existence of something.”

to persist within the law of assumption is to continue being.

nothing more nothing less, it is to just continue being who you decided that you are.

i’m sooo sure that all of you that are just approaching the law and are reading this post are having these specific thoughts right now:

“but i can’t live in my imagination forever”

“oh but i can’t imagine all the time, i have a life”

“yeah i persist but it’s tiring, i don’t wanna do all that”

“i have to persist so it manifests but i don’t have the time or the will to imagine all the time”

“i fulfill myself and persist but it doesn’t work”

or even..

“i get it! i wanna imagine all the time i don’t wanna do my daily tasks cause i just wanna live in imagination”

news flash:

YOU DON’T PERSIST IN THE IMAGINAL ACT. YOU PERSIST IN THE IMPLICATION THE IMAGINAL ACT MAKES ABOUT YOU.

no shit you find it tiring and see it as a job if you think you have to constantly visualize/affirm to persist in being.

whatever your imaginal act may be: IT IMPLICATES SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. IT CHANGES SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.

now i’m gonna take visualization as an example because i am a visualizer and this was exactly the mistake i kept falling into during my early days applying the law.

i thought i had to visualize my desire as much as i could, i saw imagination = visualization (for me) so to persist i must visualize all the time.

“i enjoy it, what’s wrong about it?”

look at yourself, look at your intentions: why are you doing this?

why are you constantly affirming/visualizing?

okay you like it, but why?

my assumption is that you are using imagination as an escape from what you deem reality. you still see your 3D as reality instead of a mere reflection of your state in imagination and use imagination as an escape from what you decided is reality.

you see this world of shadows, you don’t like it you think: i can visualize this!

which isn’t inherently wrong in itself but LOOK at your intentions. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’RE IMPLYING WITH YOUR ACTIONS/DECISIONS.

if that’s what your doing this means you don’t understand the law. you don’t understand that imagination is reality and you don’t understand what persisting actually is.

you’re always persisting in being

“i can’t live in imagination all the time, i want my desire in front of me!!”

well boo, hate to break it to you but when you come to me and tell me these things i genuinely think your dumb and i’m not even gonna bother replying to your question to try and help you.

why? because first of all it’s clear you haven’t even taken the time out of your day to read my posts, if not the source at least read the posts of the person you wanna ask a question to.

second of all.

WHAT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THE SENTENCE “IMAGINATION IS REALITY”?

imagination IS reality because YOU ARE ALREADY LIVING INSIDE IMAGINATION.

how?

YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE ALL THE DAMN TIME.

what’s wrong about these assumptions is that you create them based on this world of shadows that is inherently reflecting you instead of actually allowing yourself to be and have whoever the fuck you want in this world BECAUSE YOU ARE GOD.

YOU PERSIST IN BEING SOMEONE ALL THE DAMN TIME.

RIGHT NOW YOU’RE PERSISTING IN BEING UNLOVED, UNCHOSEN, UNWANTED, POOR, BROKE, UNSUCCESSFUL BASED ON WHAT???

YOUR ASSUMPTIONS!!!!!

you look at this world of shadows that is reflecting YOU and think “YEP that is the end! that is who i am i can’t do anything about it! that’s my identity forever!”

YOU ASSUME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!!!

and you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you’re unloved and unwanted, are you?

you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you are poor and broke, are you?

you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you are unsuccessful and insecure, are you?

RIGHT!!!!

you’re just assuming that you are..

YEAH.. shocker right?

do you or do you not understand that imagination IS reality?

did you or did you not wake up to who you actually are?

if God is within you, if YOU ARE A FIGMENT OF GOD, if you truly realized that we were put on this earth to realize our power and put it to the extreme tests to live this lovely human life to the fullest, if you ACTUALLY realized this… do you understand that you can BE AND HAVE whatever the fuck you want?

if you UNDERSTAND FULLY that this life is simply a reflection of your wonderful imagination.. do you understand that ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IS IMAGINATION?

THE SCRIPT HAS BEEN FLIPPED! YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT. YOU CAN HAVE AND BE WHOEVER YOU WANT AND IT’LL BE REFLECTED.

you can actually create a new identity for yourself inside of imagination and stick with it because that’s who you truly are!!!

remember this:

YOU DON’T PERSIST IN THE IMAGINAL ACT. YOU PERSIST IN THE IMPLICATION OF THE IMAGINAL ACT.

let’s say you want your person back, how would i properly go about it?

if i wanted to use a method: i would imagine a scene that implies we are together, enjoy it fully, leaving the world outside of myself and feeling what i TRULY want to feel. i would internalize that there are infinite realities and i am just choosing the reality i would like to experience right now, i leave the outer world alone because right now it is showing me something i don’t want. i recognize it is another reality i previously created and whatever i see is LOCKED to that state, i’m not CHANGING THAT STATE, i’m choosing another one to experience that already exists or else i wouldn’t even want it. when i open my eyes i know that i am what my imaginal scene implied. i know i am that which i want to be despite the opposition of the senses because I KNOW imagination IS THE ONLY reality. this is when persistence comes in: what am i persisting in? I’M PERSISTING IN THE KNOWING THAT I AM WHAT MY IMAGINAL ACT IMPLIED. i actually am in the relationship of my dreams and i persist because that’s the only truth.

if i didn’t want to use a method: i decide/choose i already am who i want to be because i can see it with my mind’s eye, i imagine i already am who i want to be without needing to close my eyes and see it in a scene. i know i am who i want to be in imagination, it’s undeniable cause the moment i assume something about myself i instantly see it in imagination. now who did i decide to be? i decided to be in the relationship of my dreams with my person. what do i persist in? i persist in knowing that’s who i actually am now.

DONE! FINITO.

notice how i didn’t talk about the 3D expression. not even once.

i know that imagination is the only reality and i know that this life is SIMPLY imagination reflected, so when i put on some clothes do i go and check the mirror to see if i’m actually dressed or naked? I KNOW I’M CLOTHED, i don’t need the mirror to check if i’m naked or not.

ask me again “how do i believe imagination is the only reality?” and i’m gonna slap you across the face.

YOU JUST BELIEVE IT. YOU JUST ACCEPT IT.

TEST HOW THIS WORKS.

not IF IT WORKS. TEST HOW.

imagine something and assume that your imaginal act is FACT and not the act going on on the outside.

and when the old man tries to come back what do you do?

BE INDIFFERENT.

THAT’S NOT WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE. ACCEPT A NEW IDENTITY IN ITS PLACE.

you already experienced all that you could experience in that state, so accept a new identity NOW.

the 3D is not your enemy. it cannot do anything on its own.

it follows your state and it adapts to you without you needing to adapt to it.

[cameronspecial]

Loving the Zach stuff so far!!!

Could you maybe do something where yn hates his guts, but he is like in love with her and all her sass?? Then they're forced to go on some school trip together or something, and she realizes she likes him and a cute angry love confession, perhaps???

Danke 🫶🏼💐

Thank You, History Class

Pairing: Zach MacLaren x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 1.2K

Masterlist

Y/N and Zach have been running in the same friend group since Freshman year, but it doesn’t mean they necessarily get along. Well, it doesn’t mean that she likes him. His sarcasm and puppy dog vibe annoys her cool and distant personality. He’s always asking her how her day is going and trying to make her laugh with his stupid jokes. Zach, on the other hand, fell for her grumpy soul the moment he set eyes on her. Unlike most people, who don’t bother looking deeper into her personality, Zach could see the soft side that she held within and never let anyone see. He would always catch how she would stand up from her bus seat when she saw an elderly person. She wouldn’t let people around her know it was the reason, but she always did. He saw the little bowl of milk she left outside her house for a cat mother and her kittens. Finally, he saw how sweet she was to children whenever they were around her. 

Zach didn’t want to take a history class and he certainly didn’t feel like going on a field trip to a museum. It all felt very high school to him. The only upside about it: Y/N is also taking the same class. When he saw that he needed a history credit to graduate, he definitely didn’t go looking for what classes she was taking this semester to try and be in the same one. The cost was giving Jason access to his bathroom whenever he wanted, but it was worth it. He knows the field trip isn’t mandatory for any marks, yet he knows Y/N is going to be there. As he heads toward the Victorian house, he finds Y/N out front waiting for the professor to show up. Her clothing consists of black and brown colours as usual. Her hair was held back by a shiny black claw clip. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grins, coming to stand beside her. She gives him a side eye, “Could you be more cliche? Try something more original, would ya? I still can’t believe you are taking this class.” He doesn’t let her sour mood dampen his energy. “Come on, you know you like having me with you in this class. The only other people in this class are girls who have a romanticized view of the era, or guys, who have a history stick so far up their ass that they think a history degree will take them far in life,” he notes, turning to look at her. She looks him dead in the eyes, “I’m a history major. And I am neither of those things.” “I know, that’s because you are so much better than them. You are far too smart for them,” he flatters. She shakes her head, turning her attention to the professor who has just arrived, “Flattery won’t get you anywhere.” The professor leads them into the museum and begins his lecture. After ten minutes of listening to the man speak, both Y/N and Zach realized that coming was a big waste of time. He doesn’t know what he is talking about and Zach can hear Y/N constantly correcting the older man under her breath. 

He leans toward her, making sure his lips are close to her ear. “Wanna go on our own little tour? This man is getting half of this stuff wrong.” She thinks she has lost her mind because this must be the first thing Zach has said that she thought was a good idea. “That actually sounds kind of fun. They have a Victorian fashion exhibit I want to see, but I don’t think Professor Robo over there is going to take us to,” she whispers back. Her hand finds his and she hates to admit she likes the warmth of his in hers. They round the stairs to the exhibit. She looks delighted when she spots the first mannequin with clothes. Her feet find their way beside a girl about six years old, already looking at the dress. The child’s eyes find Y/N’s face and they smile at each other. “You know, this is an 1843 Evening dress. The bodice, the thing around the chest, is low off the shoulders. And they have lots of other skirts underneath to make it poofy,” Y/N softly explains to the little girl. 

They spent around thirty minutes in the small room. Y/N walks around with Willow and Zach, explaining each outfit to them. She is surprised that Zach seemed honestly engaged with what she was saying and would ask thoughtful questions. Eventually, Willow’s mother, an employee, came looking for her and took the girl to lunch. “Do you want to head to lunch?” she asks. He shakes his head, “Actually, I was hoping we could look at the Victorian sports exhibit. I brought some snacks, so if you are hungry, we can share.” He pulls out a bag of cucumbers shaped like hearts. She has to giggle at the sight because big jock Zach MacLaren likes to have his vegetable cut into shapes. 

“What?” he questions in fake offence, holding out the Ziploc to her. She shakes her head with a chuckle, “Nothing, just surprised your cucumbers look like an inaccurate depiction of a human organ.” “They make them taste better. Try,” he says with a shrug. He hands her a slice and listens to the sweet crunch of her biting into the vegetable. “Okay… I must admit it is more fun to eat it like a heart. I can pretend I’m a witch eating people’s hearts,” she agrees. He doesn’t look disturbed by her macabre comments, instead, he pretends to be ripping out his heart as he hands her another slice. She enjoys him playing with her deadly thoughts.

They spent about an hour looking at the different displays, eating his snacks and taking turns reading the display’s blurbs to each other. As they stand on the steps of the museum, Y/N towers over him from the step above. He looks up at her like she hangs the stars in the sky. “I hate to admit that you made this day pretty fun,” she confides. Her hands find their way behind her back, biting her lip as she looks into his eyes. His mouth turns into a crescent moon, “I’m really glad I did. I like spending time with you.” She takes a moment to think and moves her head away in frustration. Not at him, but at the turmoil inside her mind. Why is his charming smile suddenly getting to her? Why does she want to step into his warmth and let his arms bring her in? “Ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m falling for you, MacLaren. So… would you want to go to dinner? Like on a date,” she confesses with a hint of annoyance in her tone that is just normally there. She is disgusted by the excitement that crosses his face. He gets off the steps, running around the green grass in front of the building. He jumps every so often with a little whoop let out as he does so. 

He rushes back to her, grabbing her around her waist and spinning her around. She finds the sound of her giggles odd but enjoys it nonetheless. “Way to keep a poker face,” she sasses, looking down at him. He doesn’t care though all he wants is a chance to be with her.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia