#day 20: roller coaster | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scuttling · 2 years ago

Text

Flicker in the Dark - Jacob Black/Reader

Fandom: Twilight Saga Pairings: Jacob Black/Female Reader Word Count: 12,598 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Pining, Unprotected sex, Slightly aged up (Jacob is 20), Fix it fic Summary: My take on New Moon, if all of the characters were a bit more mature and Jacob got his girl. A/N: This is a third-person story that pairs Jacob with a girl who isn't Bella but who fills her role in the story; Bella doesn't exist in this universe because I find she's not as interesting to write as an original character, for me personally. The character has no name and no physical description, so treat her as an OC or a "reader," your choice there. :)

Keep reading below or link to AO3!

Bringing the idea of fixing the bikes to Jacob was the best thing she’s ever done: the best, and one of the dumbest, by far.

They both have adult obligations now—she has class, and a part-time job, which are thankfully both online, and Jake works full time—so when the stars align and they’re free at the same time, they spend every moment in his garage like a couple of bored kids. They listen to music on his dad’s old radio, eat pizza and tacos standing up much more often than they should; Jacob isn’t twenty-one just yet, but they’re on the rez, so they sip beers sometimes, especially on the rare warm days where the sun shines into the garage and sweat prickles at their hairlines.

He’s taller at twenty than he was when he was younger, broader and more filled out, like he’d said back on her birthday; she notices, sometimes, things like the tightness of his t-shirts stretched across his back, the way his jeans fit just, extraordinarily well. Those kinds of things you can’t help but notice, even if you’re emotionally, physically, and mentally unavailable, the way she is.

He pokes fun at her age—forever a sore spot, especially when Edward is and will be twenty-two forever—but she catches him noticing her, too, sometimes, so she’s not a total embarrassment at least.

It doesn’t happen right away, like magic or anything, but hanging out in his garage does make her feel better; he makes her feel better, if she’s being honest with herself. He quiets the chatter in her brain, the anxiety, the self-doubt, and she smiles more when she’s with him, laughs more, gets out of her own head. She’s happier when she’s with him, too, bikes or no bikes—though the roar of the restored motorcycle engine certainly doesn’t hurt—and he’s good for her, there’s no denying that.

She remembers her dad’s advice, even more meaningful now that she’s moved out of his house and living on her own—sometimes, you gotta learn to love what’s good for you—and she even thinks she could, some days.

That’s easy enough to say to herself, but so, so much harder in practice. She can tell Jacob is… interested, when they go to the movies, with the way he lays his hand on the armrest, palm up, in case she wants to hold it. Part of her wants to, really wants to; part just thinks about Edward and she clams up, can’t do it. She feels guilty, like she’s doing something wrong, even though he left her and not the other way around.

She still loves him, will always love him, but Edward made his choice; she just wishes she felt free enough to make her own.

She feels guilty when they ride, too, because the one thing he’d asked of her was not to be reckless, and now she goes out of her way to find a rush wherever she can. Anything legal, be it motorcycles, rock climbing, running, skydiving, really, really big roller coasters—you name it, she’s done it, and though none of it ever worked as well as she’d hoped it would, she never stops trying.

She knows better than to give herself over to things like drugs or binge drinking or meaningless one-night stands, but aside from that the limits to what she will try are almost non-existent. She loves the thrill of it all, loves feeling brave, feeling strong; In the end, she may wind up with a few cuts and bruises, but as long as she’s hurting no one but herself, she doesn’t feel too bad.

When she hurts Jacob, she feels awful, terrible, and she does hurt him—he’s so hurt for a while that he doesn’t want to see her, doesn’t even return her calls. She feels weak for the first time in a long time, like if she’d just been able to be what he wanted, to hold his hand, to kiss him, to get over herself, they both would have been happier. Now she just feels sad, and selfish, hurting the one person who has always been there for her, who’s always eased her pain.

She wants to respect his space, can’t bear the thought of hurting him more than she already has, but her anxiety gets the better of her; no amount of kickboxing or rock climbing has been able to take her mind off of him since that night at the movies, when he left in such a hurry. Even Edward has shifted to the back of her mind, though she has no idea when exactly that happened.

So she goes to him. Against his wishes. In the pouring rain.

She’s so, so stupid.

He’s so, so shredded, even more so than usual; it’s the first thing she notices only because he’s soaking wet and shirtless and that makes it pretty obvious. The second thing she notices is his hair, no longer long and pulled back with a cord of leather, but cropped short, though inky black as always. The third thing she notices is the tattoo, a large, tribal design on his shoulder that looks well-healed even though she saw him less than a week ago.

She catalogs all of that, and then she remembers he’s avoiding her and that she’s here to ask for forgiveness (she’s willing to beg, but it’s sort of a last resort.)

She calls his name, but he doesn’t turn around at first, not until she’s right in front of him, fists balled angrily at her sides.

“Jacob, I’m sorry… I’m sorry about the movie. Can we talk about it?” He huffs an unamused laugh, takes half a step closer; that kind of thing used to be playful, but now it seems almost menacing, between the muscles and the tattoo and the deepening frown on his face.

“This isn’t about that. You–you need to leave. Now.” The tone of his voice leaves no room for argument… but then again, that’s never stopped her before. She steps closer too, more of a challenge than anything.

“Well if it’s not about that, what is it? What happened?” He turns away as if to leave and she reaches for him, fingers latching onto his wrist. She knows right away that when she tugs, and he turns, it’s because he let it happen; there’s no way anyone could force him to do anything now, not with how big he is, how strong, how solid beneath her hand. “Is it Sam? Did he get to you too?”

“I was wrong about Sam. He’s helping me through it—just like he helped the others,” he says, but it sounds odd to her ears. If something was wrong, if he’d needed help, he would have come to her… right? “I can’t do this right now—you have to go. Please go.”

Before, he was stern, but this time he’s pleading for her to leave, and that’s just not Jacob—they’d hash it out before he cut her off without so much as a word, instead of ghosting her and making his father lie for him and keeping secrets with Sam Uley.

“Jake,” she pleads too, but instead of tightening her grip on his wrist she brings her hand up to the nape of his neck, to brush through the short hair that lays there, drenched in rainwater. “Please don’t do this to me.”

He closes his eyes like it pains him, and it very well might; she knows the similarities to the night Edward left are becoming almost too much for her to bear.

Maybe that’s why she came here, after all, because she could, because at least she still knew where she could find him. Because even if he didn’t want to talk to her, at least she’d know he was okay.

“I’m not doing this to you, I’m doing it for you. I’m not who you thought I was, I’m not good for you. You can’t be around me anymore.”

Fuck that, she thinks immediately, because she is so absolutely tired of people telling her what she can and can’t do, what she’s strong enough for, what’s safe.

She doesn’t want safe. All she wants is Jacob.

“I decide what’s good for me; I decide,” she says, voice raised and rough, jabbing a finger in his direction, and he grabs both of her forearms and holds them between them. He looks like he wants to shake her, he’s so frustrated, but his grip isn’t tight. “You think you’re going to hurt me, or something? Because look at us, Jake.” Her gaze moves to his hands on her, holding her still but doing it gently, carefully. “It’s okay. You won’t hurt me, I know it.”

He drops her arms like she’s burned him, like he didn’t even realize he was holding them, and takes two steps back, away from her.

“You’re right, I won’t—because you can’t ever come here again.”

He turns and runs to Sam and the other guys, leaving her standing in the rain, soaked and alone, her stomach in knots. The chatter is back, the self-doubt, louder than ever now; if they could both do this, both leave her so easily, would she ever be enough for anyone?

She’s not sitting around her house moping about this, not again. She did that with Edward and it got her absolutely nowhere, so this time she resolves to just skip to the front of the line. She packs a bag for the trail and goes hiking, plans to take a long path deep into the woods, away from the bear attacks or whatever’s going on out there. Her dad would have her head if she walked headfirst into danger, and she knows better, anyway, isn’t going to actually risk her life just to get Rocky Mountain high.

She hadn’t planned on risking her life, anyway, but how was she to know the formerly peaceful Laurent was back in Forks, red eyes and all, and that he was working with Victoria? That wasn’t on her supernatural drama bingo card, that’s for damn sure.

She listens to him do the villain rambling for a moment, but irritation wins out over fear and she loses her temper, slips up and says that Edward is gone and he’s not coming back, and if he wants to kill her, well no one’s stopping him!

He looks amused by her outburst, but the smile melts off of his face when an enormous black wolf steps out of the trees, followed by several others of all shades, shapes, sizes. She doesn’t get a chance to count them, just runs like hell in the other direction, but when she risks a look back they are going after Laurent with a precision she wouldn’t expect from wild animals just looking for dinner.

She tells no one about the wolves—who would believe her anyway?—just runs back to her truck until she’s breathless, goes home and takes a steaming hot shower to rinse away the cold clamminess of his touch. She makes a cup of tea and changes into a t-shirt, a pair of shorts, then parks herself on the couch with her laptop for the rest of the night.

Until the knock at the door that comes around 1 AM.

It’s Jacob, and she’s so happy to see him that she forgets all about her day up until that point and wraps her arms around him, hugs him where he stands in the doorway. He hugs back, thank god, his embrace tight and warm and comforting, and then she ushers him in, offers to make more tea while they talk.

“About the other day,” she begins, filling the electric kettle with water and plugging it in, but he cuts her off, panicked.

“I wish I could explain,” he says, and he’s almost got those puppy dog eyes that always get him his way; he doesn’t even do it on purpose, just looks like that, and it’s incredibly hard to resist. “But I literally can’t.”

“No, I know, I… I mean, I think I know.” She has a box of tea in her hand and she’s gesturing a bit wildly with it, so she sets it on the counter, walks closer to him, so there’s about a foot of space between them. “First rule of fight club is you can’t talk about fight club—wait, it’s not an actual fight club, right? Because you’d dominate.”

He laughs, a real one, with his head thrown back, and she all but grins. There he is. Her Jacob.

“No, it’s not a fight club, but you’re right. I can’t talk about it, I can’t tell you anything.” His tone of voice hurts her, because it’s clear this is something he wants, needs to share; she moves closer, eyes on his.

“And what if I guess? Is that against the rules?” He shakes his head fervently, rests his palm on the counter beside him.

“No, no—in fact, that’s exactly what I need you to do. Sam can’t stop you, and I know you, you’re smart, won’t stop until you figure it out.” He reaches out with his other hand, tentatively, and links their fingers together like he did at the movies; when he brings their hands up to his chest, this time, she doesn’t pull away. “It would be so much easier if you knew.”

His face is so soft but so serious, his brow furrowed, and she squeezes his hand.

“I’m going to feel really silly if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am. I’ve been working on it all night.” With her free hand, she pulls her phone out of her pocket, shows him the same screen she has up on her laptop in the other room. It’s a list of all the facts she has, her own speculation, and finally, in size 42 font, one very important eight-letter word. “You said before that Sam was collecting disciples—a pack of them, Jacob, right?”

“Yes. Fuck,” he breathes, and though she’s heard him say it in the garage many times, this one is special because it means she’s right. He slides down to a seat on the tile floor, looks so relieved it makes her chest feel tight, and she kneels in front of him, hands on his bare shoulders.

“You’re a werewolf, Jake, just like the legend—your tribe is descended from wolves. Tell me I’m wrong.”

He doesn’t say a word, and at first she’s afraid she is incorrect, but then he reaches out and pulls her close, crushes her to his body. He breathes hard into her hair, holds her tightly, and she can’t help it, she cries, hot tears leaving tracks down her cheeks.

He brings his hands there after a moment, wipes the tears away with his thumbs, then holds her face like she’s something precious, lips turning up into a half-smile.

“Thank you. I knew you could do it.” He tips forward, presses their foreheads together, moves his hands to her waist. “You don’t know how badly I wanted you to know.”

“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry—I should have caught on faster. It’s obvious, when you put everything together, when you… You know. When you’ve seen what I’ve seen.” He nods his head and swallows, presses his fingertips into her side. She shifts closer, or he does, maybe they both do, so their breath mixes between them, soft and warm.

“It’s okay, you’re here now. You’re here, it's okay,” he repeats, and she pushes fingers through his hair, softer now that it’s dry.

“I’m here, and I don’t have to stay away.”

They don’t quite kiss, because she’s still nervous, maybe even more so now—they were so close to being separated, and now that he’s back in her life, in her house, she doesn’t want to risk breaking this delicate, fragile thing between them. His mouth just brushes over hers, more a swipe than a press of lips, and she turns her head so the rest of it catches her cheek instead.

He sighs, but he’s not upset, and he lifts a hand to smooth through her hair before dropping it altogether.

“I should go,” he says, but she can’t bear the thought of losing him again already. She stands when he does, takes his hand the way he did before.

“Can you stay the night? Please?” She squeezes his fingers, tries her hand at her own version of those sad puppy eyes. “I understand if you can’t, but I’d feel… I want you to,” she’s clear to say, and eventually, he nods.

She makes up a bed for him on the sofa, intends to head upstairs when he’s comfortable; she doesn’t know what stops her, but she stretches out on the other end of the couch instead and they put on a movie, something black and white, volume low. She couldn’t say for sure who’s the first to fall asleep.

She’s the first to wake up, so she takes a quick shower, does some work, brews some coffee. He’ll probably head out the moment his feet hit the floor, so she prepares herself for that—she just hopes that the rest of his pack knows he’s there, that they aren’t worried, or frantically searching the preserve for signs of him like she would be.

She asks him that when he pads into the kitchen an hour later, eyes sleepy, bedhead evident, and he pours a cup of coffee and sits across from her at the table.

“Nah, they knew I was coming,” he assures with a sip. “They know by now that if they can’t find me, I’m probably here with you.” That makes her smile, though she looks down into her mug and tries not to show it. He takes a few more quick gulps despite the temperature and sets down his empty cup with a smack of his lips. “Speaking of the pack, I think you should meet them. We gather at Emily’s—that’s Sam’s fiancee—sometimes, and they’ll be there today.”

“Will they be angry that I figured it out?” she asks, genuinely curious. She wants to meet them, wants to know more about the group of guys Jacob is now supernaturally entangled with, but she’s not so sure a house of angry werewolves is somewhere she’s ready to be so soon after her last brush with death. He breathes a laugh and shakes his head.

“They won’t be angry. They’ll probably be irritated with me, because I couldn’t just let you go…” Their eyes meet, and she thinks of reaching out to touch his hand across the table, though she doesn’t in the end. “But as for you, they’ll probably just be impressed.”

The pack is both impressed by her and slightly irritated with Jacob, but stern glances and eye rolls quickly turn to laughter and playful shoving, as they pile into Emily’s small but cozy kitchen and make introductions around a batch of fresh muffins.

She gets official confirmation on things she’d only read about—like their ability to hear each other’s thoughts when shifted, the accelerated healing, their speed, their power—right from the wolves' mouths, and they learn from her too, everything she knows about vampires like Laurent and Victoria. She doesn’t talk much about the Cullens, mostly because their secrets are not hers to tell, but she can see Jacob’s brain working as she mentions Victoria’s vendetta, as she shows the group the pale, silvery bite mark on her arm.

“If she’s here, she’s here for me,” she tells them, and Jake tenses, his jaw tight, veins visible, shoots Sam a look that conveys they have a lot to talk about when she’s not around.

Later, she suggests to Jacob that he take a walk with her, because she can tell how all of those stories have put him on edge. Together they amble slowly toward the beach, close but not touching, and this time she does take his hand, leans in so their forearms brush.

“It’ll be okay,” she murmurs, tilting her head to look up at him. “You guys are strong, fast. You took down Laurent—I have no doubts you’ll get her too.”

“Before she hurts you?” he says, staring ahead, voice rough because he’s been mostly silent all day, listening closely to her and taking everything in. “Because if she does…”

“She won’t. The others are watching her,” she says, hoping like hell that’s still true, “and even if she finds me… I trust you to protect me.” He stops there, on the wet sand, and she turns toward him so she can see his expression, to get a better idea of what’s on his mind.

“If they come back, I’m not allowed to fight on their land—I’d be breaking the treaty,” he says with a pained look. She understands the words he’s not saying: if they come back, I wouldn’t be able to protect you in your own home.

“They’re not coming back,” she whispers, because she can’t say the words any louder than that, even though they’re true. “He made his choice, and that’s—that’s okay.”

“Is it?” Jacob asks, leaning in, and she gets it, gets why; she hasn’t exactly been positive about Edward’s departure, how his choice affected her, took his family away from her too, and now suddenly she’s okay with it?

It isn’t sudden, though, not really. It’s been a gradual acceptance, something she’s been coming to terms with since the day he left. She knows Edward’s decision wasn’t made easily; she knows he didn’t leave because he didn’t love her, but because he loved her so much he put aside his feelings for her and did what he thought was right.

He went about it all the wrong way, removing every trace of himself from her life, banning his family from communicating with her, taking her choices away, but in the end his heart was in the right place, and she’s found a way to respect that, despite everything.

Maybe it’s just Jacob. He brought her out of her post-breakup shell, made her smile again, laugh again, feel important and wanted and cared for. Maybe he filled in the cracks of her broken heart so she could use it again, without the need for exhilaration and adrenaline to cover up the pain of what she’s lost; maybe it’s just Jacob, bright like the sun they so seldom see, special and rare and wild.

“It’s okay,” she assures him, voice steady with her conviction. She raises their conjoined hands and presses her lips to his knuckles, just briefly, before dropping them back to her side.

Jake nods, accepts her answer, and they walk further along the beach until the sun goes down in a hazy blend of blue and orange and red.

He offers to drive her home, and even though it’s impractical, and she’d usually put up a fight, she wants that extra time with him. Wants to be that close to him. She sits in the middle of the bench seat, neither up against him nor really on the passenger’s side, but close enough for Jake to throw an arm across her shoulders, and they listen to the radio and talk about his pack while cruising down the road.

“I better go,” he murmurs before she can even unlock her front door, and she tries not to let her face fall; she’d been hoping he’d stay over again, or come inside for a little bit, at least.

She must fail at controlling her expression, because Jacob smiles softly, like he’s pleased with himself, and leans in, brushing his fingers over the line of her jaw.

“We’re patrolling tonight—got a vampire to kill. But I’ll call you tomorrow?”

She nods beneath his touch, and he pulls back and turns to leave, jogging down the street and toward the forest that’ll lead him back to La Push.

He does call the next day, but it’s brief; Victoria’s back, just as Sam expected, so they’re running all night, all day, trying to catch her off guard, taking breaks only to eat and sleep when they absolutely have to. Jacob promises to check in when he can, but after three days with no contact—and a voicemail from her father about locals spotting wolves in the woods—she’s on edge again, less concerned for her own safety, more worried about Jake’s.

She’s an absolute idiot for doing it—going to the beach, to the tall cliffs that loom over it—but she needs the rush again, doesn’t feel right when it’s just her own troubled voice in her head. She needs to hear the purr of an engine, the hum of a plane, the crashing of pure, white water against rocks… or maybe Jacob’s heartbeat. But the cliffs are the simple option at the moment, and all she can think about until she’s actually there, looking out over the ocean, the gritty scents of sand and salt in her nose.

She takes several deep, long breaths. That’s the key to these things that bring her so much excitement—using all of her senses, so she’s not just herself but everything around her too. She needs to see the sun on the horizon, taste the spray of seawater and clean, crisp air. She needs to smell the damp earth, touch the frothy bubbles that lap at the shore, hear…

She hears a wolf, actually, howling solemnly in the distance, but doesn’t register the sound until after she’s already jumped.

The waves are choppier than they’d appeared when she was looking down at them, and it knocks the breath out of her lungs when they crash into her body, pulling her down into the dark vastness of the icy sea. Her arms and legs move instinctively, fighting to bring her back to the surface, but the water is deep and heavy and she’s already so tired of trying.

She’s so cold all she can feel is cold, her teeth chattering, so even when she hits her head on a boulder and it starts to bleed, she doesn’t realize what’s happened until everything turns black.

She’s warmer, suddenly, that’s all she knows, though the ground beneath her back is rocky and wet, uncomfortable. She thinks maybe it’s a blanket that feels so warm, but quickly realizes it’s Jacob above her, soaked to his bones, a sigh of relief passing his lips.

“Oh thank god. Can you hear me?” He cradles the back of her head in his palm and helps her sit up, then presses his fingers tenderly to the sore bump beneath her hair. “Your head’s not that bad, but I bet it hurts.”

“Hmm. Hurts,” she mumbles, her throat raw, temples throbbing. She’s cold and tired and thirsty, but ashamed above all else; maybe she really does need someone making the decisions for her, if this is the kind of stupidity she gets up to when she’s alone. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he answers quickly, and he runs his hands over her arms and legs, her neck, her face, checking for further injury. “I’m just glad you’re alright. The waves are bad today; you could have been swept away.”

“I didn’t realize that until it was too late,” she admits sheepishly, and when he brings her closer she rests her cheek against his chest, feels tears stinging her already tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Jacob.”

“It’s okay, I’m here. It’s okay.” His voice is as soft as his hands as they curve around her, holding her against him, and they sit like that for a couple minutes, until Sam runs over and tells him to get her home.

He drives again, but this time she’s even more grateful, because there’s no way she could have done it herself. She feels so much at once—dumb and scared and childish, but also brave and calm, while somehow her mind races with thoughts of the wolves howling and Jacob’s hands in her hair. Her focus is shot, and even though she’s wrapped in one of Jake’s thick, fleece lined hoodies, she trembles, heavy and cold, as she peers out the passenger side window, watching the trees go by.

“Hundred and eight degrees over here,” Jacob says eventually, with a half smile, and she blinks for a moment before giving in; with a sigh, she scoots closer, wraps an arm around his waist. She can feel the heat of his body even through the layers they wear, and she shivers involuntarily at the pleasant but abrupt change in temperature.

“You still want me this close? Not afraid the bad decisions will rub off onto you?” It’s a joke, a self-deprecating one, and an apology all bundled together. “What I did was stupid, I know. I could have gotten really hurt, and you should have been out there with the pack, with Harry, not saving me.”

He tilts his head, leans closer so his cheek rests against her hair.

“Well it wasn’t smart, but we all have our moments. And you couldn’t have known about Harry—don’t be too hard on yourself.” A long beat of silence passes, and she turns toward him, pressing her icy nose to his neck with another sigh.

“Mmm. You’re so warm. It must be nice, never getting cold.”

“It’s a wolf thing,” he says with a shrug, but it’s not, not really, and she can’t let that stand.

“Maybe, but trust me, it’s a Jacob thing too. You’ve always been warm.” She just sits there, breathes him in, lets him warm her hands and nose, so content she almost doesn’t notice when he pulls up in front of her house.

“This is better. Now that you know about me,” he says, tipping his face down, after he turns off the truck. She pulls back just enough to look into his eyes, to try to gauge his intent.

“But?” He swallows hard, looks away for a moment before returning to her face.

“You saw what happened to Emily. Sam got angry, lost it for a split second, and Em was standing too close. He’ll never be able to take that back.” He shakes his head, as if imagining the two of them in the same situation. What he could do to her. What she would think of him. “What if I get mad and I hurt you?”

“You’re new to this—even if you are a natural,” she says, remembering a comment Embry had made when they’d last spoken. “You’ll learn how to control it, how to read the warning signs, and you’ll either stop yourself from turning or get somewhere safe. We’ll be okay,” she promises, resting her hand soothingly against his neck, and he sighs softly.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m gonna disappear. Like one day it will be all wolf and no Jake.” He leans in, close enough that their noses just barely brush, and the way he looks down at her is something like…

Yearning, she thinks to herself after a beat. It’s a powerful emotion, but she’s never seen it look quite so beautiful before.

“You’re not going to lose yourself. I won’t let that happen.”

“How?” he asks, bringing a hand up to cover hers, and she wets her lips, shakes her head to clear it; it’s swimming again, in this small space, so very close to him—especially when he’s looking at her like that.

“I’ll tell you all the time… how special you are to me.” She looks up, feels like she’s showing her soul to him, like this incident has stripped her down to bare bones and she’s letting him see her, once and for all. He stares into her eyes for a long moment, then leans in slowly, tentatively, and this time she doesn’t stop herself from meeting him in the middle, from pressing her mouth to his.

She can actually feel the relief wash over him when she doesn’t reject his kiss, like he’s been tightly coiled and tense and can finally relax because she wants the same things, feels the same way.

She expects his lips to be warm, soft, but he is scorching against her skin, even more so when he moves his hand to her cheek in a gentle caress. With the palm against his hip, she pushes up his t-shirt, gets her fingers on his body, and they both gasp softly into the kiss, deepen it.

“Jacob,” she sighs when they part for air; he seems okay, if a little shaky, but she feels flushed, eager, almost vibrating with the need to keep kissing him. She wants more, even though her throat burns like the last time his lips touched hers, when he forced the water out of her lungs and saved her life.

That’s what he does best, her Jacob—like a flicker in the dark, he always pulls her away from the dangers of her own making and brings her back into the light.

“Is this real?” he asks, his breath a ghost on her lips; his other hand, on her lower back, pulls her closer to his body, and she turns her head and kisses the palm resting on her cheek.

They kiss again, hands a bit less careful, hers sliding up his back, his weaving into her hair to control the tilt of her head. She gives in to it all, lets him set the pace, gripping him like a life preserver and letting his heat warm her from the inside out. She feels like she can’t get possibly close enough, wants to be pressed skin to skin, but she settles for sliding into his lap, ducking her head so she doesn’t hit it on the metal roof of the truck.

He groans as she twists fingers into his hair, as she pulls him into her and feels the long, hard line of his body against hers. She kisses faster, harder, and he matches her fervor, wraps an arm around her waist and catches her chin with tight fingers.

They kiss for a long time, and the cabin heats, windows fogging up as they share breath and saliva, as they murmur each other’s names like prayer. Her lips are red and raw when she finally needs to pause, and she rests her head against his chest and listens to the thunderous, wild beating of his heart.

“Will you stay the night? Please?” she asks, voice a little broken—rough with need, and soreness from nearly drowning, and breathlessness caused by the most intense kiss of her entire life.

Jacob nods, and he sets her carefully back on the seat, removes the keys from the ignition and climbs out of the truck. She slides out behind him, and he closes the door, takes her hand in his just like she did on the beach.

He locks the front door behind them when they’re finally inside—as if that will stop anyone we need to worry about, she teases with a soft laugh—and she takes the lead, walks up the stairs toward her bedroom with Jacob trailing behind.

Despite his surreal body heat and the thick, warm sweatshirt he’d given her to wear, she’s still cold down to her bones, and wet like a drowned rat, so she pulls off her shoes and socks and sets them down by the radiator. Jacob watches her every move from a couple steps away, eyes lingering as she shrugs out of his hoodie, then pulls her damp sweater over her head.

There’s nothing sexy or seductive about it, it’s not a striptease by any means, but he doesn’t look away when she’s down to her bra, and she doesn’t want him to. He bends down to take off his boots, to line them up next to hers, then bridges the distance between them and leans in for a deep, slow kiss.

It’s not long before they both sink down onto the bed, and her fingers slip open the button of her jeans, then hesitate, wait at the button of his. She looks up at him, and the confirmation is all but written there, in the darkness of his eyes, the swipe of his tongue over his lips, but she needs to be sure.

“I want you, all of you,” she murmurs, and then she brushes a hand through his hair, leans in to just rest her mouth against his. It’s delicate like the first time, but full of meaning, and he presses up into her kiss. “Do you want this?”

“I want this. You. All—all of you.” He nods, licks his lips again, eyes softer but no less hungry, and she flicks open the button and kisses him like she did in the truck: hands on his body, in his hair, her breath all his.

They don’t part, not really, just fall back against the pillows and tug at clothing, pressing kisses to throats and palms. His t-shirt drops to the bedroom floor, then her jeans and underwear, his, and the room is quiet except for the sounds of eager, wet kisses and soft, needy moans.

She sits up, reaches back to unclasp her bra, and Jacob drags the strap down her shoulder, helps her take it off, leaving it somewhere in the bed; his mouth moves to hers, then down her neck, over her collarbone, and finally caresses each nipple with a gentle reverence that makes her ache all over.

“You’re still sure?” he asks when she is shaking beneath his touch, strong arms wrapped around her back, and she nods and shifts up into his lap.

When their lips meet, the kiss is hard, and she curls an arm around his shoulders, weaving a hand into his hair. They’re both panting when she leans up, guides him inside her, and when she sinks down it’s like a flash of tingling heat takes over her entire body.

Jacob groans, holding her securely, thrusting up as she works her thighs above him. They kiss, deep and messy, graceless but passionate, her fingers tugging, his pressing hard into her skin.

It’s not at all how she’d expected her first time to be; she’d imagined it would be with Edward, of course, and slow, but she can’t get enough of Jacob and it seems like he can’t get enough of her either. She’d imagined a cool, pale body above her, but it’s Jacob’s deep, rich, hot skin she presses her lips to, her fingernails against. She’d expected Edward’s hard, marble arms around her, and while Jacob is strong and firm he’s still soft, skin slick with sweat as they move together.

“Jake,” she murmurs, the taste of him on her lips, his scent in her nose, woodsy, clean. “Jacob.” Her body trembles and he holds her tighter, presses his face into her neck.

“I’ve got you.” She sighs happily at that, grabs his hair more roughly, rides him faster.

“You’ve got me. You’ve always got me.”

Jacob looks up at her, eyes fiery, liquid, then pulls her in with a hand on the back of her neck and kisses her like the first time—soft, nervous, sweet. The juxtaposition of that gentle kiss and his possessive grip makes her dizzy, and when he pulls back his face is all she can see, all she wants to see, all she needs.

“I’ve always got you,” he promises, his gaze tender, unflinching. “Always.”

He’s got her when he comes, holding her tightly with one thick forearm and dragging his free hand over her breasts, then lower, to rub her clit as she bounces herself to climax in his grasp. “Oh, god,” she breathes, voice like a shiver, and her fingernails dig half-moons into his biceps as they both slow, slow, slow, then stop altogether.

He eases them both down against the bed, arms around her, their legs entwined, and they catch their breath, just look at each other until the exhaustion of the day catches up to her. Her eyes flutter closed, and pressed so close to him, so warm, all she can do is sleep.

When she wakes, it’s still mostly dark, and she desperately needs to clean up in the bathroom and get a glass of water. Jacob’s t-shirt is the first piece of clothing she sees—or the first she wants to see—and she pulls it over her head and pads to the bathroom for a human moment—a very human moment indeed.

She pauses, while washing her hands, to look over her reflection in the mirror. Rationally, she knows nothing has really changed, but at the same time everything has.

The bathroom water is never cold enough to drink, so she treads down the stairs, across the kitchen, turns on the tap and lets it run until the water is icy and crisp. She fills a glass, takes a couple of sips, then almost drops it when a cool hand is suddenly pressed to her shoulder.

It’s Alice, and she uses her other hand to catch the glass before it can hit the floor and shatter.

“Relax. It’s just me.” Her eyes are soft, and it’s clear she is happy to see her, but there’s something else in her expression, something inquisitive. “You’re alright.”

“I’m fine. I’m… good, actually.” She shrugs, which bares her shoulder, in the large t-shirt she wears, that she’d forgotten she was wearing. She freezes—she knows how she must smell to Alice, like Jacob and like… Jacob—but her friend just shakes her head.

“I couldn’t see you; well, I saw you jump off a cliff, and then you were gone. I thought you died.”

“Alive and well,” she says with a tone that’s hoping for lighthearted, but…

She has no regrets about being with Jacob, not one—she just hadn’t expected to be confronted with a vampire she once considered a sister almost immediately after. She doesn’t know what to say right now, how to act. Who to be.

“I was cliff jumping, recreationally. It was fun... for a minute.” Alice rolls her eyes, but it’s clear she’s happy she’s unharmed—though perhaps irritated by her tendency toward life-threatening idiocy.

“That doesn’t explain why I couldn’t see you, why your whole future went black.” Her golden eyes stare seriously, unblinking for a moment, and then she looks away. “Though maybe I owe that to the wolf in your bed.”

Of all the nights for Alice to come back to Forks, she thinks, a suddenly uncomfortable pit in her stomach. Then she hears footsteps on the stairs.

“Not in her bed anymore,” Jacob says, voice low, from the doorway to the kitchen; he takes half a step forward, an aborted move, like he wants to put himself in between them.

“This is Alice, Edward’s sister. Alice, this is Jacob,” she explains, trying not to focus on his shirtless torso, or the pained expression on his face. She blows out a deep breath. “It’s okay. She won’t hurt me.”

“She’s hurt you before,” he counters, no doubt remembering every heartbroken, aching expression she’d worn in the months prior. He takes a step closer, so he is next to her, his forearm grazing hers, and Alice takes a step back. “I’d like to stick around, if it’s all the same to you.”

He’s posturing, that much is clear, but she can't find it in herself to be irritated, because at least he’s giving her the option, letting her choose.

“I thought you couldn’t protect me here,” she says, turning her face up to look at him, and Jacob’s response makes heat pool low in her belly, just like the night before.

��There is nowhere in this world I won’t protect you—treaty or no treaty.”

She wants so badly to kiss him, but Alice is there, Alice, right in front of her after all this time, and she’s conflicted. Torn. He can tell, she knows, but he doesn’t take it personally, just reaches up to scratch his head, sighs.

“So are more of you coming? Is–is he…?”

“I came alone. And no,” Alice replies after a moment, but she’s looking at her instead, probably knows that he’s just saying what she’s too worried to ask. “He only calls in once every few months. Says he wants to be alone.” Jacob scoffs.

“Great. He wants to be alone, so you all leave her behind, unprotected? That red headed vampire is after her because of him.”

That gets a reaction out of Alice, whose eyes darken protectively.

“Who, Victoria? I haven’t seen her.” She stares off into the distance, like she’s searching for memories, visions, sifting through what she’s seen and trying to piece together what she hasn’t. “Just like I didn’t see you get pulled out of the water. There’s a lot I haven’t seen, apparently,” she adds under her breath, and the other girl presses her lips together, sighs.

Not the time or place for this discussion, and they both know it, but that doesn’t mean it’s avoidable for long.

“So you can’t see around Jacob. The wolves,” she guesses. “I’ve been with them a lot lately.”

“With him a lot lately,” Alice corrects. Jacob huffs, but it’s not untrue, so she lets her think what she wants. Her silence must speak volumes, because Alice takes a deep, wholly unnecessary breath, and gestures toward the door. “Should I go?”

“Please don’t,” she says quickly, nearly begging. It’s the first she’s seen of Alice in almost a year and she cannot let her leave as abruptly as she’d shown up. “If you could just give us a minute…”

“Take two,” the vampire says, and it’s with a half-smile that turns into a smirk. “I’ll go Febreze the living room while I wait: it smells like wet dog.” She turns to leave, a bounce in her step that the other girl can’t help laughing at, shaking her head.

She sobers up when Jacob turns toward her, takes a step that moves the both of them, so her back is pressed up against the kitchen counter. He looks so serious, and her heart beats for him everywhere.

“Do you believe her? When she says she came alone?” he asks, and she tilts her head, nods softly.

“Of course I believe her. She just had to make sure I was okay, that’s all. There’s… there’s nothing for them here.”

Even as she says the words, she hopes they’re not true—hopes that, even if they really aren’t meant to be together, that she and Edward, she and the Cullens, can still be… Friends isn’t really a strong enough word, but she wants them in her life, potential bloody accidents be damned.

“So if he came back,” Jacob says, leaning in closer, his lips hovering over hers, “you wouldn’t go to him?” His tone is light, but she understands the weight of his question, takes a moment to find the right words to answer it.

“If he came back, I’d want to see him. Just like I want to see Alice.” She reaches out to touch him, his warm, bare skin, places her palm over his thumping heart. “But I wouldn’t go to him. Not like this.”

It’s true, and she wants to say more, to promise him, reassure him, but just after she says it, the landline rings. Jacob sighs, his breath on her cheek, and reaches out a hand to answer it. “Hello?” The person on the other end speaks in a low tone she can’t make out, but she can see the tick in Jacob’s jaw, a hard set to his eyes. “He isn’t here right now, but that’s not who you really want, is it?”

There’s another moment of conversation she can’t hear, and Alice walks into the room looking stunned; Jacob hands the other girl the receiver, and she looks from him to Alice and then speaks into the phone. “Hello?”

“You’re alright.”

It’s Edward, his voice cool and smooth but thick with emotion. It makes butterflies flutter around in her stomach, just like it used to.

“I’m alright.” She doesn’t give him more than he asks for, doesn’t take more than he offers. She’s aware of two sets of eyes on her, feels more nervous than before, in her oversized t-shirt and sleep-mussed hair.

She’s glad he can’t see her and wonders exactly what that means.

“Good. Rosalie said Alice had a vision…” He trails off, but they both know what he’s not saying: everyone thought she’d given up and killed herself. She crosses her arms.

“The vision was incomplete. I’m fine. Stupid, but fine.” Edward huffs a laugh down the line, and she can imagine the exact cant of his mouth, the glimmer in his eye that always seemed to be reserved for her.

“You are many things, but stupid is not one of them.” There’s more he wants to say, she can tell; as a man of few words, many of their conversations were punctuated with heavy, meaningful silence. Part of her wishes she could see his face, at least. That always helped. “Who answered the phone? Jacob?”

She looks up at him involuntarily, notes the tightness of his mouth, his arms folded in front of his bare chest.

“Yes, Jacob. He’s the one who pulled me out of the water, the one Alice didn’t see.”

“Hmm. He still doesn’t seem to like me much.” Her lips turn up at that—understatement of the century—and she wonders if Jake can hear him too. Based on the stoic expression he wears, he either can’t, or he’s not paying attention.

“No he does not.” A beat passes, then two. “You should call your family more often, go see them. They miss you.”

“It’s difficult,” he says, swallowing, and she nods at no one.

“I know, but don’t punish them. Please.” She knows how it feels, to be totally cut off from people she loves, to constantly wonder, always fear the worst; she doesn’t say it because she knows he knows.

“I’ll consider it, if you don’t go jumping off those cliffs any time soon.” She laughs softly, surprised at his humor; this was not how she would have ever anticipated a call like this to go, but she likes it. Likes them, like this.

“Deal. Alice is looking at me like she’s going to steal the phone any moment,” she warns, which is putting it mildly. “So I’m going to put her on. You can call when it’s not life or death, you know,” she adds quietly. “It would be nice to hear from you. If you ever want to talk.”

She doesn’t know if he responds, because Alice takes the receiver, winds the cord around her arm, and scolds her brother with love in the way only a sister can manage.

While they talk, she walks toward Jacob, then past him, toward the staircase, but she takes hold of his hand as she goes, and he follows just like the night before. This time, he closes the bedroom door behind them.

“I’m sorry this happened like this,” she says, sitting down on the bed, one leg beneath her and the other hanging over the edge. “I’m not sorry Alice is here, but I’m sorry that’s what you woke up to. If you were… worried.” Jacob takes the space next to her atop the rumpled duvet.

“I was worried when I smelled a bloodsu- vampire,” he corrects quickly, “and you weren’t beside me.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again, this time leaning closer. “But thank you for giving me the phone, letting me talk to him. I’m sure that wasn’t easy.” He shrugs, like it was no big deal, even though she remembers how angry he’d looked at the sound of Edward’s voice.

“I almost didn’t. I mean, technically, he didn’t ask for you.” She rolls her eyes—definitely guy logic—then stands up, scoops his jeans off the floor and hands them over to him. Her face heats at the memory of removing them in the first place, but she snaps out of that for her own sake and grabs fresh clothes, steps into the bathroom to make herself presentable.

When she’s done, she heads back to her bedroom, where Jacob is now clad in jeans and boots, sitting shirtless on her bed. She deposits the borrowed t-shirt onto his lap, and when he thinks she’s not looking he brings it to his nose, inhales long and slow, before pulling it over his head.

That action does things to her, and she wishes for a moment that she had his senses, so she could smell the two of them the same way he does, their scents deeply saturated and blended together.

They head downstairs when they’re both dressed, and while he rummages in the refrigerator for something to make them for breakfast, she treads into the living room and sits down next to Alice on the couch.

“So,” Alice says, and then she gestures to a cup of tea. The other girl picks up the mug and thanks her, brings it to her lips. “How long has that been going on?”

She feels her cheeks heat, and she hides behind another sip of tea.

“Really? I haven’t seen you in almost a year and that’s what you want to talk about?”

“Oh, forgive me for being curious about what it’s like to date a werewolf when last I saw you were grieving the loss of my brother.” Alice’s tone is more playful than it would seem, and her eyes smile even if her lips don’t.

She always knew that Edward wasn’t telling the truth when he said he didn’t want her. He just couldn’t bear it, knowing that being with him put her in so much danger, caused her so much pain. She knew it was worth it, but if he didn’t… there’s nothing she could have done to change his mind, she knows that now. She can’t feel guilty for moving on when it’s exactly what he’d wanted her to do in the first place.

“Okay, you’re right. Let’s talk about how I’m going to comb the woods, find Victoria, and rip her into confetti for threatening to hurt you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jacob says, walking into the room with… a cup of tea. He looks over at the mug in her hand, then sets the one he brought her down on the table without a word. “The pack’s got it covered.”

“All due respect, but if the pack had it covered, she wouldn’t be a threat anymore, would she?” Alice tosses over her shoulder. The other girl sets her tea down and sighs.

“Alright, can we not do this? The age-old vampires versus werewolves thing? Especially if I’m in the middle of it. Maybe you guys could work together for a change; Alice can’t protect this part of the territory all by herself.” She picks up her drink—a drink, the one Jacob made, this time—and takes a long sip, looks up at them over the rim of the mug.

“The pack could help, if you give us the authority to amend the treaty,” Jacob says to Alice, though he’s kind of looking at the ceiling, his arms crossed. “But wherever she is, I’ll be.”

“You can’t be with her every second,” Alice counters, and her exasperation makes it sound like an argument she’s had before. “It’s not good for either of you and could put her in danger; if Victoria picks up on it, she’ll be able to use your scent to track her anywhere. Trust me, yours is a lot stronger than hers is, and it’s all over her.”

She thinks Jacob makes some kind of noise, like a low growl in the very back of his throat, but it’s hard to hear. Alice raises her eyebrows like she’s trying not to roll her eyes.

The three of them discuss potential ways to coordinate with the pack, and Alice mentions calling in Emmett and Jasper to see if they could help with the search; the sooner Victoria is gone, the better, is the general consensus, and Jacob thinks he can get Sam on board with that as well, even if it means more Cullens coming back to town.

She finishes both cups of tea, then a plate of eggs and toast Jacob put together from the bare-bones contents of her kitchen—she reminds herself to make a shopping list, then absently wonders if she’ll have a grand escort to Trader Joe’s.

“I’ll make some calls while you’re gone,” Alice says as she is taking her last bite; she looks up from her plate, confused, and Alice waves a hand. “I saw a glimpse of you at the grocery store, but then it went dark; I assume that means he’s going with you.”

“I thought about it for a split second, as a joke,” she clarifies with a huff of laughter. “I don’t think I need a bodyguard in the produce aisle at eight AM.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Alice and Jacob say, at the same time, and her lips twitch in amusement.

Looks like they’re not so different, in the end.

She gives in and allows Jacob to drive her to the supermarket, though not without a long look from Alice as he walks her to the truck with his hand on the small of her back.

They breeze through the store thanks to the list in her head—she buys a little more than she usually would, because it seems like Jacob plans to be around. She likes the thought of that even more than she’d expected, likes choosing things solely because she knows he’ll enjoy them.

“I think we should talk about last night,” Jacob says, voice low, when they’re nearly back to her house. She cringes internally, because that’s never a sentence a girl wants to hear after a night like that, and he clears his throat. “I know cliff jumping ended up being kind of traumatic for you, and it didn’t feel like it last night, but if I took advantage…”

He looks over at her, his expression pained, and she shifts closer and wraps her hand around his forearm.

“God, no, Jake—that’s not what happened.” He brings the truck to a stop in her driveway, puts it in park, and she presses her palm to his cheek so he’ll focus on her instead of fixing his gaze out the window. “I wanted everything, every moment. I still want it,” she murmurs, and he looks over her face like he’s still not quite sure he believes it.

“You do? Even after… after you spoke to him, and everything?” It’s a fair question, and again, one she answers very carefully.

“I think we needed to talk, he and I, but it didn’t change anything. You’re the one who changed everything,” she admits softly, tentatively, wetting her lips. She hopes her eyes convey the certainty her voice can’t seem to. “Do you want to kiss me?” she breathes, leaning closer, her fingers winding a path through his hair, and he nods his head and presses his mouth to hers.

She gets up on her knees so she can be closer to him, but she doesn’t climb into his lap like before—she does have some self-restraint, despite what it may seem. She curls one arm around the muscles of his back, pulls him in for more contact with the hand in his hair, and it’s a few minutes later when she remembers they’ve got bags of perishable groceries in the back and a vampire with excellent acoustic abilities just inside her home.

She pulls back, smiles a little at the soft, unfocused look on his face, then runs her hand down his chest before lifting it away entirely.

“I know we’re kind of at DEFCON 1 right now, but more of that a little later would be nice.”

“Hmm. Very nice,” he agrees with a nod, his voice slightly rough, and he turns off the ignition and carries all of her groceries into the kitchen with one strong arm.

Emmett and Jasper do come back, with Rosalie and Esme, to her delight and Jacob’s discomfort. Between the pack, who comes to get the vampires’ scents so there’s no friendly fire, and the family, who split time between her house and the one they left behind, the place is a revolving door of the supernatural for the next few days.

All of them take turns watching over her house at night, while the others patrol the woods. She catches up with everyone she’s been separated from—even Jasper gives her a crushing hug, so at least the time away was good for something—and it’s wonderful, but it means there’s not much time to be with Jacob aside from planning sessions and the occasional quick check in. The most time she spends with him is when they attend Harry’s funeral, something somber and intimate, with ethereal music and a glowing campfire and endless stories about the Clearwater line.

She is introduced to Leah and Seth, Harry’s children, and while Seth seems welcoming and friendly his sister is cold, standoffish—though not without reason, she soon learns from the pack.

“She’s not always like that… mostly just when she’s around Sam,” Embry says where they stand on the edge of the forest, away from the thick smoke that burns her very human eyes. She looks over at the pack leader at the mention of his name. “Now that she’s part of the pack, we have to live the Leah/Sam/Emily painfest all over again.”

She turns back to him, to Quil, who’s standing beside him, and tilts her head, curious.

“I don’t think I follow—Sam left Leah for Emily?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s not what you think. He hates himself for hurting her, but he couldn’t help it. Emily was ‘the one.’” Quil says it almost sarcastically, with air quotes for emphasis, and she frowns.

“The one?” She doesn’t mean to sound skeptical, but these days she’s not as big a fan of providence and destiny as she used to be.

“Sam imprinted on Emily. It’s kind of like… soulmates, but bigger. Cosmic. They were literally meant to be together.”

“Like fate,” she says, filling in that blank, and then a large, warm hand is splayed across her back, fingertips pressing into the fabric of her dress.

“We make our own fate around here,” Jacob says tightly, and she looks up, regards him curiously. He’s not just upset about Harry, or Victoria… there’s got to be something else making his jaw tense, his eyes hard. “And I think that’s more than enough of the pack soap opera for tonight. Are you ready to go home?”

He turns his gaze to her, and it softens, for which she is grateful; he is her guardian on duty tonight, and despite the solemn evening—or maybe because of it—she wants to spend the night as close to him as she possibly can.

She nods, and after they say their goodbyes he walks her to the truck, opens the door for her, closing it carefully when she’s safely inside. He takes the spot behind the driver’s seat—his usual, now—but doesn’t drive straight to her house like she expects.

“Ice cream?” she asks when he turns off the engine outside of a mom and pop shop selling sundaes, cones, and shakes. She exits the car at his indication, and the two of them walk hand in hand up to the illuminated window that says Order Here. An older couple is ahead of them, pointing at the chalk menu board, and Jacob leans in to speak in a hushed tone.

“This place was Harry’s favorite. You like chocolate, right?”

“Has anyone ever answered ‘no’ to that question?” she asks softly, playfully, and it works as intended, lightens the mood just enough to bring a brilliant smile to his painfully beautiful face. “I think this is a wonderful way to remember him, Jake.” She wraps a comforting arm around his, and Jacob nods, lips pressed together, eyes sad.

“Just kind of feels right.”

He orders for them when it’s their turn, two waffle cones with two scoops of chocolate ice cream each, and they sit at a picnic table on the side of the building, eating their tributes with heavy hearts and looking up at the stars.

The ride home is quiet, contemplative, at least for her; by the time they arrive she has been running through thoughts of mortality, finality, how short life is and how very precious.

These are all normal thoughts for a person to have, and certainly after a celebration of life like the one on the reservation tonight, but she thinks seriously for the first time about Jacob and his desperate need to protect her, the way he puts himself in danger—stupidly, recklessly, completely—every day to keep her safe.

When they’ve made it inside, she exhales deeply, looks up into earnest, curious eyes, and wraps her arms around him, presses close so she can bury her nose in his clothing.

She breathes him in long and slow, his usual scent of crisp air and rain and oak dulled by the smoke of the bonfire, and then his hands are in her hair, tipping her face up for a decadent, passionate kiss.

God, how is he so good at this? she thinks as he sips at her lips, glides his own down the tender line of her throat. She sighs and grabs for his arms, something to ground her as her desire threatens to take over, to leave her a whimpering, begging mess beneath his hands.

Jacob turns them so she’s got her back to the kitchen table, sets her on top of it, and she parts her knees for him, pulls him closer. Her fingers itch with the need to touch his skin, so she tugs at the hem of his shirt and gets her hands beneath it, skims them over the taut muscles of his bare back.

“I can take it off,” he murmurs against her neck, and she nods breathlessly and helps him pull it over his head. His hands bracket her hips, palms flat on the table, and her arms curve up around his back, bringing him closer; she kisses him eagerly anywhere she can reach—his throat, shoulders, face, everywhere.

She whispers his name into his own skin, presses her lips to his biceps, scrapes her teeth over the lobe of his ear, and he shudders at her touch, tilts his head to look up at her, his eyes dark and almost… dangerous.

What does it say about her, that she finds that look so goddamn attractive?

“I’m sorry, I—I need a minute,” he says, panting through gritted teeth, and she lets her hands fall away, leaning back a little to give him space to breathe.

“Take all the time you need,” she assures him calmly, patiently. It’s the first time she’s ever seen his wolf so close to the surface, and she’s completely unafraid, would hold him and help him ride out the tension in his body if she thought he would let her. “It’s just us, Jake, just me and you.”

“Just us,” he repeats, his fists clenching and unclenching, taking a long breath with his eyes closed. She breathes with him, has always found that helpful when she herself is overwhelmed, and after a few moments he presses closer and she runs a soothing hand over his chest. “I’m okay,” he says eventually, leaning in slowly for a kiss as though he’s afraid it will be rejected. She brings her hands to his face, deepens it, so it’s still soft and easy but with enough meaning behind it to convey her thoughts.

“I know,” she murmurs, just to be certain he believes her. “You did so good; so good, Jake.” He nods, pulls back a little so he can look into her eyes.

“It’s not that I can’t control it, I can, but…” He looks away for a moment, swipes his tongue over his lips. “The instincts are so strong and I don’t always want to fight them. Sometimes when I’m with you, I want to let the wolf win.” He says it like he’s ashamed, and she puts her arm around his shoulders and brings him down for another kiss, this one just a gentle press of mouths.

“I understand that more than you think I do.” His breath on her lips makes her crave more of his heat, but she knows it has to be slow now, or he’ll get too in his head and never let himself enjoy their night together. “I may not be supernaturally inclined, but sometimes making decisions with my body is all I want to do. Especially with you,” she adds, just a sigh between them, then touches their foreheads together.

They stay like that for a moment, embracing in their own way, until he initiates a kiss that is so thorough it makes her toes curl. She brings her hands to his waist, guides him closer, and he rests a broad palm at the base of her throat and kisses her, again, and again, and again.

Her arms curl around his body the second they separate for air, and he lifts her from the table, carries her up the stairs with an ease that makes her long for more frequent displays of his strength.

Getting his clothes off is quick enough, since he’s already shirtless, and his hands are tender and gentle as he sweeps her hair away from her neck, pulls down the zipper of her dress, slides it off her bare shoulders.

Neither of them bother to pull back the covers, simply lay back on the bed, her knees apart again, Jacob hovering between them and letting his eyes move over her like he’s committing her body to memory. It makes a wave of heat rush through her, and since tonight is less hurried she does the same, lingers over every curve of muscle, every sharp line of bone. He leans in, lays an arm behind her head, glides his lips over her jaw, her cheek, her mouth.

“I was right, before,” she says after another satisfying kiss, letting her fingers press into the flesh of his hips. He looks into her eyes, tilts his head curiously, and she smiles a little, can’t help herself. “You really are beautiful.”

Jake breathes a laugh, even blushes a little, then kisses her until they’re both panting; her fingertips press harder when he pushes inside, then glide up his back to keep him close while the two of them move together.

Jacob feels so different this way, is so much deeper, filling her in a way that makes it so she really can’t tell where she ends and he begins. He is heavy on top of her, but not uncomfortably so, and when her body shifts up the bed with every thrust it’s thrilling, incredible—she’s never felt so much in her life.

His face is serious, eyes focused, and she weaves her fingers into his hair and catches his lips in a kiss, moans into the end of it when he finds a spot inside of her that takes her breath away.

“Oh, god, Jake.” He leans in for another kiss, deep and wet, nods against her lips.

“You’re perfect—so perfect,” he huffs, breathless; he moves his hand to her hip, runs it over her stomach, then presses his palms to the bed and repeats his previous motion, over and over, her body coiling tight with pleasure. “Can’t believe I get this.”

“We get this,” she corrects in a whisper, won’t let him think for one second that she’s not as completely in awe of him as he seems to be of her. She skims her nails over his lower back, his ass, tightens her thighs on either side of him and tips her head back just as he makes her come. “Don’t stop, Jake, please,” she whines, shaking, holding him so tightly with her entire body—she never wants it to end, never wants to be separated from him again, and he agrees, if the way his body presses down on hers is any indication.

“Can’t stop… need you,” he groans, pushing her leg up further, so he feels almost impossibly thick and deep. Her arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer, holding him there as he ruts into her, scorching flesh pressed against flesh.

“Yes, oh—”

Before she knows it she’s quaking again, gasping when he brings his teeth to her throat, scrapes them over her throbbing pulse. He growls in her ear, a deep, low, animalistic rumble she can feel in her stomach, then comes inside, claiming her with a broken, raspy, “mine.”

He lays half on top of her, half on the bed, after, their skin soft and damp with cooling sweat. She can’t stop looking at his face, his dark eyes, sharp jaw, and he cups her cheek with a gentle palm and gazes just as intently at her.

“Come here,” she murmurs, a soft smile on her lips, and he kisses her slowly, makes her sigh with a pleasure so complete—mentally, physically, spiritually—it feels like she’ll never be the same.

He gets up after a moment, comes back with a glass of water and a towel, and helps her clean up well enough to hold her over until she’s ready to get out of bed. She pulls the covers back while he’s gone, slides in between the cool sheets, and he follows her lead, pressing close to her beneath them.

“Are you upset you didn’t imprint on me?” she asks carefully, propping herself up on her elbow and using the other hand to run fingers through his hair. “I noticed that when the guys were talking about it, you got kind of tense.” He shrugs slightly before shaking his head.

“No, not upset… I was just so sure you were meant for me; I really thought it would happen sooner or later.” She understands that, can picture him wishing and waiting for something that would never come to pass. So patient, her Jacob.

“Do you wish it had? Do you think it would make this more real?” Her hand moves from his hair to his collarbone, down his chest, over his stomach, so very low. “Because when I’m touching you like this… nothing has ever felt so real.”

He presses her against the bed, hovers over her, kisses her breathless, and it goes without saying that he agrees with every word she says. She softens beneath him, tired and pleased, and he shifts into a more comfortable position, laying behind her, that she knows means sleep for the both of them. He drapes an arm over her, and she draws circles into his skin with her fingertips, feels his warm breath on her neck, closes her eyes and revels in the weight of him at her back.

“Anyway,” she whispers, one last thought on her mind before she succumbs to sleep, “I almost think it’s better like this, that we have to fight for each other. No help from fate—just your will and mine.”

A/N: I got my start in fandom spaces by writing Twilight fanfic fifteen years ago, but I never posted it because it was... bad. Last week was a crummy week for me, so I found comfort in watching New Moon, and I literally couldn't help myself from re-writing it in Jacob's favor. There's no Edward hate here, and he'll play a bigger role in the next part I have planned, but Jake took hold of me in this one and didn't let go.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight saga: new moon #twilight fanfic #jacob black #jacob black fanfic #jacob black x reader #jacob black x female reader #jacob black x original female character

872 notes · View notes

a-supernatural-writer · 1 year ago

Text

Rusted Orange Leaves

Poly Lost Boys x gender neutral reader

It's been awhile! I am so sorry for being gone so long. Ever since graduating life has been sort of a roller coaster. Working full time along with trying to figure out student loans has been tough.

I wanted to start writing again and get back into The Lost Boys with a bit of a self indulgent fic. For context I recently lost my Nana (grandmother) a couple weeks ago and its been tough to say the very least. She was not only my grandmother but she was another mother to me and in this fic there is a lot of things that are actual things that my Nana and I would do together. Not only that but this is also a fic for anyone who might've lost there own grandmother or even a grandparent in general who you had a very close connection with.

Happy fall to all of you and I am very excited to write for one of my favorite seasons of the year. Get ready for some spooky, Halloween fun and in general fall themed fluff.

Word Count: 1,840

The smell of pumpkin and cinnamon filled David’s noise as he walked into a place that he called a second home. Music that he remembered coming out during the time of the 1910’s and 20’s played at a reasonable volume. Being loud enough for anyone to enjoy but just low enough that people could talk comfortably to each other without raising their voice.

He smiled softly as he walked deeper into the house and caught sight of you doing your thing around the kitchen.

You were making your grandmother’s infamous great pumpkin cookies that she made every year around the fall holidays. You smiled a little though that smile didn’t quite reach your eyes as you mixed in the chocolate morsels that went in the cookies.

But now these cookies were to be made by you and other members of your family since your grandmother unfortunately passed away not even a month ago in September, just before the leaves started to turn.

A part of you was sentimental; making her baked goods and other recipes she taught you ever since you were little. You and your mother were really the only two who she taught her recipes to, leaving it to the both of you to teach the rest of the family.

You had her cookies on your list along with her pumpkin and apple pie and the traditional fall soups she made from scratch. You also had some of your own recipes you’ve been wanting to make.

With it being the beginning of October, the leaves turning their beautiful vibrant colors, you turned on the music that your grandparents played and had been going at it in the kitchen since the early hours of the morning.

You were so engrossed in your activity that you didn’t notice your boyfriend David walk into your home. You had given him a key a while ago, turning your home into his home as well… along with your other three boyfriends; Dwayne, Marko and Paul.

David had gotten there before any of the boys could. He knew that you were dealing with your grief in your own way. You had been having your days where certain sounds, images and even scents sent you into a crying mess. Hell, even before your grandmother passed away, you got so upset because a candle you bought smelt like her.

You wanted to bask in her scent forever. Her smell gave you comfort and it scared you that you could never live in it again so you haven’t even lit it since her passing. Afraid to lose it and never smell it again.

David knew that your grandparents weren’t just that, they were another set of parents; a mother and father to you. David knew how much your grandmother loved you. He and the boys got to spend some time with her and she talked about you so much and always wanted to make sure that you were taken care of. You were her first grandchild and she loved you like you were her own.

Your grandmother even had them tear up, making them promise her that they would love you and make sure that you would always be happy and live your life. And they promised that.

You eyed the amount of batter in your mixing bowl, finally noticing David when he walked into the kitchen, “Hey.” You said quietly, not fully trusting your feelings in that moment. You wanted to cry, but at the same time, you were feeling the most comfortable since her passing.

David smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist and placing a soft kiss on your temple, “Hey. I can see you’ve been busy.”

You nodded, leaning into him, “I made some apple turnovers for the first time. I think they came out really good. I have another batch in the oven and pumpkin soup is simmering on the stove… think it’s too much?”

David shook his head, “Nope. I think it’s perfect. Do you need any help?” David didn’t think it was too much. If anything with how much the four of them loved your food, it could never be enough. And who was he to stop you from cooking and baking, this was your way of coping, he didn’t want to stop you from healing.

You felt warm and fuzzy when he offered to help. Cooking with David was always wonderful. It surprised you just how much he enjoyed doing the activity with you. It warmed your heart even more at the idea that you were gonna teach him your grandmother’s recipes.

“Yeah, I can teach you her pumpkin pie and I wanted to make her chicken pot pie to go with the soup.” You could help but get excited as you explained what you wanted to make.

David just smiled, taking off his coat and gloves, grabbing a basic brown waist apron that was hanging on a hook in your kitchen, matching your own. You got one for him after he complained a little by getting flour and food particles on his pants one night.

He tied it around his waist and grabbed the kitchenware he needed and the ingredients that he needed. He followed your instructions as you did your own thing, chopping whatever vegetables and poultry needed for the chicken pot pie.

Of course, during the longest part of cooking, prep work, did the others file into your home.

Paul came in smiling at the scene before him. He never in his life thought he would see David doing such a domestic thing in his life, but then again, he didn’t think that for himself either. “Do we have to kiss the cooks?” Paul teased before giving you a kiss on the lips, tasting pumpkin and chocolate on your tongue as he gave you a stomach fluttering deep kiss that held nothing but love with no lust behind it. Just pure love.

David rolled his eyes when Paul gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek to tease the bleach blonde. “Smells great in here.”

Paul honestly loved it when the home smelled like this. Your home for him was a place of comfort. A place for him to unwind and just relax. That’s what made you very similar to your grandmother. Both of you made your homes feel like a home.

He always thought your grandmother was the definition of a grandmother. A woman with a heart of gold and a pure soul. Always making sure everyone was taken care of. The day she passed was a sad one.

He was frozen in fear the moment the news settled in for you. He had never seen someone feel so much pain that wasn’t physical. He’d seen you sob your heart out before. But seeing your face turn into anguish and cry out so loudly and so heart broken, truly shook him to his core.

Since then he’s been treating you much more softly. It wasn’t per your request, but something in him changed and he wanted to show you just how much he cherished you. It’s not like he didn’t already, he just had a much more lustful and hornier way of going about it.

Marko was next to walk in, carrying a small brown bag in his hand and smiled once he saw you spreading out the cookie batter on the pan, “Are those the pumpkin cookies you were talking about?”

Marko softly grabbed your chin and placed a short kiss on each of your cheeks before placing one on your lips.

You giggled as Marko gently nipped at your lip, “Yes. I’m gonna bake them once the rest of the apple turnovers are done… what did you get?”

Marko smiled as he carefully pulled out two tea cups with saucers attached to them. One design to be like fall colored leaves and the other in the shape of a pumpkin with leaves. You cooed at the teacups, wanting to hold them but didn’t want to dirty them with the batter on your hands.

“Oh, Marko. They’re so cute.” You cooed softly. Marko felt his chest swell with pride as he got you a gift that made your eyes sparkle. And he knew that tone in your voice. You only talk that way when you truly love something.

“I’ll go put them with the rest of your collection.” He took the teacups and placed them in a wooden cupboard with glass that you used as a display case for your teacups that you pulled out in rotation to use. You had an addition to mugs and teacups and you had an ever growing collection that weren’t just sitting on a shelf but were used for different times throughout the year.

Marko grinned to himself. He had been trying his best to make you smile recently. Little gifts and outings have been his way to do just that. Even though you’ve told him multiple times that he didn’t need to buy you any gifts, he wanted to. He loved seeing your eyes shine with happiness and he wanted to treat you. You’ve been going through your emotions and even your thoughts for the most part alone.

You didn’t want to talk to your family much about how you were feeling, afraid of judgment on some weird level. You were afraid that your family wasn’t going to understand how you felt and the way you were going through your grieving process.

After placing the teacups in the case, he took one of the apple turnovers you already made and took a bite of it, groaning at how good they were. “These are banging.” He comments. Paul joined in and grabbed one of his own, enjoying the freshly baked dessert.

Dwayne was the last to walk in. Seeing you doing something that you love and glowing, his heart, if it could, would’ve fluttered. Without a word, Dwayne came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaned down placing a kiss on your forehead. “You’re not pushing yourself, are you?”

You shook your head, done with placing the batter on the pans, “No. I’ve been taking breaks here and there throughout the day.”

Dwayne hummed, squeezing your waist a little, “Good.”

He didn’t want you overworking yourself too much, even if it was doing something you loved. Sometimes, Dwayne would just make sure that you took time to rest and relax. He knew how hard the past couple weeks have been for you. If the nights of you crying in his arms didn’t tip him off, then you being extra clinging to them lately did.

You moved to go wash your hands, Dwayne still having a grip on you and moving with you, not wanting to let go yet.

You chuckled, and after you dried off your hands, you reached up and tangled your fingers through his hair. Feeling the utmost content in this moment.

Out of all the days that have gone by in the past couple weeks, for once you felt at ease.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #poly lost boys #poly lost boys x reader #gender neutral reader #david x reader #paul x reader #marko x reader #dwayne x reader

288 notes · View notes

lonely-ey3s · 25 days ago

Text

With All My Love : Chapter 5 | say a little prayer for me

Chapter 5: Say A Little Prayer For Me

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader, no outbreak

Word count : 13.6k

Chapter Summary: After rescuing Commander Williams and sending Maria back to Delta 27, you and Jack go back to Delta 30 to find and rescue Z and Reggie. Joel has a hard time with your absence, feeling himself fall apart. He can't imagine what life will be like if you don't come back.

Chapter warnings: fluff, flirting, mutual pining, language, mentions of combat and war, blood, violence, hand-to-hand combat, mentions of guns and a knife, anxiety, panic attacks, use of Y/N, smut (MDNI 18+), descriptions of injuries, ANGST, switched POV's.

A/N: all imma say is this one is a roller-coaster... enjoy 🖤

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

Joel’s POV

It’s only been 24 hours since your last message. Joel was going crazy, checking his phone every five minutes, had the news on constantly, and he even got so desperate and called the army at one point to ask the status of you. They hung up on him telling him that it was confidential information and that your location could not be disclosed.

Tommy would call or check on him every few hours to see if he had heard anything. Both the Miller brothers were on edge, and couldn’t focus on anything but their girls.

Over the next 3 days Joel would message your chat when he felt overwhelmed, missed you, or felt anxious he blew up your chat log with about 20+ messages.

‘Baby, please come back to me. I need you…’

‘You are everything I want and more. I need you to come back to me.’

‘I hate that I can’t take your place and it can’t be me out in harm's way.’

‘I love you darlin’, but I need to say that to you with my arms around you, lips to yours. I need you here with me.’

‘Please come back to me and Sarah. We need you in our lives. Now that you’re here, we aren’t, I’m not letting you go.’

‘I want to spend the rest of my days with you, taking care of you, protecting you, loving you… please, I can’t lose you.’

‘I want to write poems on your skin with my lips.’

‘I will never forget the moment I realized I loved you.’

‘You changed my world darlin’. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.’

‘One day, I’m gonna marry you. Spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you make me.’

‘I got your letter today… Let’s do that barbeque when you get home. I’ll invite everyone for you to meet, we’ll make it a big deal, I’ll have Sarah decorate the yard and house, you and I, we’ll cook all day together, then we’ll host the best damn barbeque you’ve seen. And I’m taking you dancin’, we’ll get all dressed up, and I’ll get you your own hat and boots. We’ll dance the night away. I’ll hold you so close and sing to you how much I love you. I’d sing it from the rooftops, my love.’

‘You asked for my ideas, I wanna take you out to this place in the city, I already have our name down, since theirs a waitlist. I wanna get you dressed up, take you shoppin’ for anything you want, then take you out and worship the ground you walk on. You deserve only the best, my love’

‘I wanna take you and Sarah to a concert to that artist ya’ll like, Taylor Swift? I’ve been listenin’ to her music, learnin’ the words, so I can sing along with you both. The second you get home for good, I’m bookin' tickets.’

‘I wanna take you up in my truck to this lookout a few miles away from here, we can get pillows and blankets and deck the damn truck out with those fairy lights if you want to, then we can star gaze and I can wrap you in my arms and hold you while you watch the universe above us, while I hold mine.’

Joel came home the second day to Sarah looking at his computer, he hadn’t told her what was going on, he didn’t want her to worry, she looked at him with tears in her eyes, “Is Y/N going to die?” she asked.

He set his things down and grabbed her into a hug, “No, no baby girl. She’s not gonna die…” he held her and kissed her head.

“Then why are you sayin’ all those things? Why did she say those things? Dad, what’s going on?” she held onto him, tears slowly coming down her face.

He held her in his arms and told her as much as he knew, told her that you and Maria were assigned to rescue someone really important because you two were really good at what you did and that the assignment was 3 days and that you would be pulled out by the 3rd day which would be tomorrow.

She asked why he didn’t tell her, she knew he had been stressed the last couple of days but just thought it was work.

He told her he didn’t want to burden her with things that were so uncertain, he was trying to protect her, not hide anything.

The two of them watched a movie together that night and ordered some pizza. The next morning when she asked to stay home from school to be home when news came in, Joel didn’t hesitate to say yes.

Tommy came over early the next morning and the three of them anxiously waited by their phones and computers. Hoping, praying, and wishing to hear from you or Maria with good news of your safety.

When Tommy’s laptop dinged that afternoon, they all froze, not knowing what they would now learn was the outcome of the two women they loved.

Reader’s POV

Jack followed you as you went through the building, the both of you watching for threats and clearing every space you went through.

You knew you needed to get Reggie and Z out safely. Still, something in you tugged to get all of your belongings from Joel, at least all your letters and pictures from him, and if you could, grab your laptop as that could prove to be helpful for communication if the radio went down, but also when you had a moment to let Joel know you were ok.

You first wanted to find Z, he was your priority. He was probably terrified and you hoped with everything he was safe.

When you left for your first field assignment and saw how many children were dead in the street, out in the open, you told yourself that wouldn’t happen to Z. When you got back, you told Z that the second he heard anything that would signal it is a combat zone he needed to get inside somewhere and suggested he go to either your bunkhouse or Reggie and Terrence’s. You prayed he would be in one of them, make it easy to grab him and get out.

You looked back at Jack as you stopped at the end of the stairs, “How far of a walk is it to Delta 27?”

“If we can find a car, that would be better but it's about a 10-mile walk… maybe more.”

You nodded, one more thing to do, find a car.

“Ok, once we find Reggie and Z, we need to find a car and then get to 27.” you said thinking, and then took a breath, “Jack I need you to promise me if anything happens to me you’ll get Z out safely…” you looked at him, trying to hold it together.

Jack looked at you, putting a hand on your shoulder, “I know we just met but for right now, you and I are partners, we are getting out of here. Even if I have to make a deal with the devil, I’m getting us out of here, alive.”

You nodded and let out a puff of air, “I know, I trust you.”

Your leg was killing you, you glanced down and then opened up your medic pouch and pulled out a syringe and bottle of lidocaine, you drew up a small amount and then injected it around the wound, to provide you temporary numbness to the area. You also swallowed two pain relievers with some of the water you had and then looked at Jack as you zipped your pouch back up.

“Ok, if we are where I think we are, we need to head up north, if he listened to me, he’s in one of our two bunk houses… Reggie could be actively triaging in the med tent but I have no idea. We will get Z and then look for him, sound good?” you said as you made sure your ammo was full and everything was in working order.

Jack nodded, “Got it.”

You pulled your necklace out again and kissed it, “Say a little prayer for me cowboy…” you said and then took a breath and opened the door, you and Jack making your way up the road.

Maria’s POV

Maria made it to 27 and saw within minutes that Reggie had made it there too, he must have been evacuated before things got bad.

“Oh thank god you’re ok!” Reggie came over and started working on Maria when he looked around for you, “Wait, where’s Y/N?” he asked, then looked down at her, worried.

“She went back into 30 to look for you and Z!” she said, wincing just as he started treating her shoulder wound. “Reggie, I need your radio… I need to get in contact with her. She’ll go on a wild goose chase looking for you.” she looked up at him.

Reggie looked at Maria and nodded, he looked at another medic, “Hey, get me the radio!” the other medic nodded and then left to grab it.

Reggie started pulling away the packing gauze you had done on Maria’s abdomen when she looked at him with hope in her eyes, “Reggie, you wouldn’t happen to have grabbed your laptop before leaving, did you?”

Reggie nodded concentrating on working on the wound, “Yeah, why?”

“I need it, I need to alert someone about our safety back at home. Can I use it when you’re done? Please?” Maria pleaded.

Reggie nodded, “Of course… you just need to let me do my job before you ask for all these amenities, damn.” he chuckled and began sewing up her wound, “You’re lucky, this wasn’t too bad of a hit, almost hit your spleen but missed it by a hair. You’ll be fine there, but your shoulder is done, you’ll be released to go back home on medical discharge.” he said as he worked, “You lucky bastard. You and Terrence getting shot, getting to go back home. Why can’t I get shot?” he jokingly said.

“Oh shut up, it’s not all that glamorous, it hurts like a bitch.” Maria groaned as he continued with his sutures.

The other medic came over with the radio, Maria switched to the channel that you had been on last, “Delta 30, this is Maria in 27, do you copy?” she said softly.

She waited a few moments before repeating herself.

More static came through and then Jack’s voice came through, “Delta 27 this is Jack in Delta 30, we copy.”

Maria smiled and whispered, “Thank god.” to herself before hitting the button again, “Jack, are you still with Y/N? Over…”

“Maria? Is that you? Over.” she heard your voice come through.

“Yes, and I have Reggie here too. He made it out. You’re only looking for Z, got it? Over.” she said.

“Roger that. We are heading to his potential location now. Will keep you posted. Over.” you said and then there was a loud explosion in the background.

Maria’s heart sank, “Y/N? Jack? Are you still there? Over?”

There was static for a few moments and then Jack came through, “We are still here, but we need to go so we can get out of here. Over.”

“Roger that. Stay safe and we will see you soon. Over and out.” Maria said before handing the radio back to Reggie who then set it on the table next to her bedside.

Reggie had also gone and got his laptop, “Here, do you need some help sitting up?” he asked softly.

Maria nodded and he helped her sit up gently and slowly.

Maria logged into her Skype account and messaged Tommy who she saw was already online, her hands were shaky from all the adrenaline and pain, and she figured typing out an update would take twice as long.

‘Hey babe, can you talk?’ she messaged.

Instantly Tommy initiated a call, and Maria answered.

“Oh thank god. Where are you? Are you back at base camp?” Tommy asked with a sigh of relief.

She heard in the background Joel’s voice, they must’ve been both panicking waiting for you both to contact them. “Maria?” Joel said coming to come look at the screen.

He looked like a wreck, his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying, Tommy had the same look. Both of them with looks of worry and concern written all over their faces.

“Where’s Y/N? Is she ok? I haven’t heard from her, but you’re calling, where is she?” Joel said in a panic, eyes tearing up thinking the worst had happened.

“Joel, I need you to take a deep breath for me. Y/N is fine.” Maria said softly.

“Then where is she?” he said voice cracking.

“Long story short, I got hurt in the field as we were leaving… Y/N literally walked into open gunfire and pulled me out to safety. She then carried me up 13 flights of stairs to where we were taken away via aircraft rescue.” she said softly. “On our way back the pilot was told that Delta 30, which is our home base, was under attack and was an active combat zone. She and Jack convinced the pilot to drop them off as they would need reinforcements and wanted to get Reggie and Z out.”

Joel put his head in his hands, ‘Of course, you did that… you wouldn’t leave Z behind’ he thought to himself.

“When was this? Who’s Jack?” he said quietly, trying to gather everything you told him and process it. Tommy sighed and put his hand on Joel's back to comfort him.

“We dropped them off about an hour ago, however, I just radioed her and Jack, I let them know that Reggie was here, that they just needed to get Z out…” Maria explained, seeing how stressed Joel was. “Joel, she’s going to be ok… Jack is a Special Forces para-rescuer, he’s one of the best, she’s safe with him.”

He nodded, hearing about Jack’s qualifications then processed what she said before, “Wait you radioed? Did you make contact? Is she ok?” he looked up at Maria from his hands, hopeful, wanting to know the most up-to-date status on your safeness. If he were a cricket and sat on your shoulder while you did all this, that would be his dream, but all he could do was sit and hope for your safety.

Maria nodded, “She confirmed she was ok and they were on their way to gather Z. After our last assignment, we told him where to hide in these situations- so it should be a pretty fast rescue, and then depending if they can get air support or find a vehicle, depends how quickly they can get here. It’s about an 11-mile distance from here to there.”

Joel nodded, “Was she hurt at all? Knowing her she’d go in hurt or not.” he chuckled softly, tears streaming down his face, he knew your stubbornness knew no bounds when it came to Z.

Maria nodded, “She has a cut on her arm from an attack we had earlier today, but I patched her up in the field, she should be fine… and then as she was loading into the aircraft when we were leaving Delta 42, she was shot on her leg, but it was barely a graze wound. Hell, she treated it in the aircraft and just had a small limp. Both aren’t too serious, and she’s so damn stubborn she wouldn’t let that stop her.” Maria said with a small chuckle.

Joel and Tommy both chuckled, nodding in unison, “She’s so damn stubborn, it’ll be the death of me.” Joel said smiling softly then pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, holding away a headache he was getting from crying the last few hours.

“Oh Joel, she also told me to tell you: ‘I meant my last message with everything in me and I’ll keep my promise, it’s just taking me longer, but I’ll make it back’...” Maria said softly.

Joel knew exactly what you meant, it was exactly what he needed to hear.

“Thank you, Maria, I needed to hear that.” he smiled softly and some sadness behind it.

The radio went off with a whistle and then an explosion before a voice came through, your voice, “Delta 27 this is Delta 30, Maria, you still there?! Over.”

Joel instantly perked up and moved closer to the laptop, on the edge of his seat, hands up to his face like he was praying.

Maria hurried and grabbed the radio holding a finger up to the boys on the screen to stay quiet and to hold on, “Delta 30, this is Delta 27… this is Maria, what’s going on?”

“Maria I’m in our bunkhouse, I… it's bad over here…” another whistle and explosion went off, “Shit… uh… things will get lost, what do you need me to grab for you from Regin- fuck, I mean Tommy? Over.”

Joel heard the explosions and chaos in the background, his heart sank thinking you were close to danger. Tears started streaming down his face. His legs were bouncing with anxiety.

“Fuck, you idiot, get out of there, leave it, your safety is more important than some letters! Over!” she shouted and then looked at Tommy, “Sorry Tommy, I-...”

Tommy chuckled, “No need to apologize, baby, I agree with you. Just means I’ll need to write ya more letters.” he winked.

You came back through, chuckling, “Cool, so everything, got it! Over!”

Maria huffed frustrated with your lack of urgency or lack of awareness of your current situation, “Y/N so help me, if you don’t leave my shit and get out of there, I’ll order an air strike on you myself… get out of there now! Over.”

No answer, static.

Maria pushed the button again, “Delta 30, do you copy?”

Static.

Then after everyone held their breath for what seemed like minutes, you came through out of breath, “I’m here! I dropped the radio, sorry. We got everything, we are headed to Reggie’s bunkhouse now. I will keep you posted. Over and out!”

“Wait! Maria, can I tell her something?” Joel asked with tears falling down his face.

Maria nodded and then called out over the radio, “Delta 30, this is Delta 27. I have Joel for you, do you copy?”

Almost immediately, he heard you out of breath, “Joel? Jo-” whistle and then an explosion closer than he heard before, “Shit, Joel? Can you hear me? Over.”

Joel grabbed his chest hearing the explosion and smiled hearing your voice say his name, he started to sob softly and then asked, “I can hear you, baby, can you hear me? Over.”

He could hear you crying, “I can hear you cowboy. Thank god… I needed to hear your voice.” there was a pause with some static, “I’m almost done, I promise. I’ll make it back. Over.”

“I know, I know you will sweetheart, I just need you to stay safe, ok? Get Z and then get out. Don’t stay and try to help, come help where Reggie is. Come back to me. Over.” he said through tears.

“I will. I love you.” there was a pause and static, “Joel, I love you. Over.”

He smiled and chuckled, tears continuing to stream down his face, “I love you too, b-but you don’t get to say that again until you’re back here safe with me. Ok? You don’t get to say that as ‘in case you’re going to die I love you’. Over.” he pleaded.

He could hear your soft laugh, “You have yourself a deal cowboy. I’ll see you soon. Over and out.”

Then there was nothing but static.

Maria looked at Joel and Tommy, “She’s in good hands, Jack and her are good together, they had great instincts in Delta 42. They’ll be ok.” she tried to help ease so much anxiety she knew Joel was feeling.

Joel nodded and then sat back in his seat and started doing something he had been doing over and over in the last few days, praying, for you.

Reader’s POV

You had cleared your bunkhouse, but Z wasn’t there. Instead, you grabbed everything of yours and Maria’s, including your laptop. You didn’t care what Maria said, you knew these letters meant the same amount to her as they did to you from Joel. You grabbed all of the photos in your desk drawer that he had sent you and the candle he sent and booked it out of there as explosions kept shaking the place and if you didn’t get out, you could be trapped in.

After you got around a huge debris sight and took some back roads, Jack and you were headed to Reggie’s bunkhouse when he held out a fist for you to stop walking. The road was covered with dust, visibility was low, and something seemed off.

You swallowed and tried to control your breathing, you looked at Jack for direction, and he looked at you, “Is there another way? This seems too risky…”

You shook your head, “No, it's this or nothing…” However, you agreed, that it was risky. “We couldn’t go up the main road, it’s blocked, this is the only side road…” you said scanning the area with your eyes.

“Ok. Then we go in, back to back, walking sideways. There is a very high possibility of an ambush…” Jack said, pulling out his knife as well and holding it in his hand while he aimed his rifle up.

You nodded and let out a breath, “The bunk house is no more than 50 yards straight ahead, then if Z is there, we can keep moving back up the north road to look for a vehicle. The north gate should be an easy exit point.” you said looking over at him while he gathered himself and turned around to go back to back with you.

“Got it. Let’s take this slow and steady, shoot anything that moves, ok?” he looked back at you.

“Got it.” you nodded and then put your eye to your scope.

You and Jack made it up the road with only two hiccups, one being you almost got killed but your hat saved your life, and the second was that Jack got shot in the upper arm, but it was a graze wound like your leg, something that could be assessed when you were in somewhere safe. You got to the bunkhouse and started to clear it out, scanning the area, you whispered, “Z?!” you heard a sound to the right of you and pointed your rifle straight at it, finger ready to pull the trigger.

The flashlight shined, showing Z, hiding under the bunk bed, you moved your rifle so he could see your face, putting your safety on, “Z!” you said and knelt, holding out your arms.

He immediately climbed out, limping, “Khahar!” he ran as best he could and hugged you, “I did what you told me, I hid and made no sounds, I was good.” he said crying into your embrace.

You hugged him tightly, “Yes, you did so good. I’m so proud of you, you’re so brave.”

He looked back at you and smiled, tears streaming down his face, “I couldn’t find Reggie, I looked, is he ok?”

You nodded and wiped his tears with your gloves, softly laughing, “He’s ok. He was able to get out. He’s with Maria at another camp, she got hurt, but going to be ok. We are going to meet them there, yeah?”

He nodded, and you looked down at his leg, “Z, are you hurt?”

He nodded, “I got hit in the ankle with something heavy when I ran in here. It hurts really bad.” he cried in obvious pain.

You nodded and put his face in your hands to comfort him, “Can I look at it? See if I can help?” you asked, looking into his eyes, softly smiling.

He nodded and sniffled.

“Ok, can you sit down for me?” you asked softly.

He sat down on the ground in front of you and you pulled out a flashlight, sticking it between your teeth. The room had little to no light, something must have affected its power in an explosion.

You looked it over and determined that he had a broken ankle, nothing you could do now for him except manage his pain.

You took the flashlight out of your mouth and looked at Jack, “Can you hold this for me?” you asked him, handing him the flashlight, he knelt and nodded.

You unzipped your pouch and started drawing up some morphine, “I need to give you a shot Z, it’s going to help with your pain, can you be a brave boy and let me do that for you?” you asked softly, looking up at him.

He took a few deep breaths and then nodded.

You gave him the shot in his inner arm through a vein and then wrapped it with a gauze pad and some stretchy tape.

You looked at Jack, “Let me take a look at your arm…” you said taking the flashlight to look at his arm.

“I’m fine, I’ll be fine.” he went to stand when you pulled him back down by his sleeve.

“Yeah I’m not askin’, that was a statement Mr. Tough Guy.” you teased, looking over his arm.

You pulled out your water tin and poured some water on it and then patted it dry with some gauze as it had gotten some debris in it. “You want a Hello Kitty or Disney Princess bandaid?” you asked as you sprayed some anti-bacterial spray on it.

“You have those options?” Jack questioned, not catching on that you were joking around.

You chuckled, “Jack, I’m an army medic, do you really think I have those options with me?” you said as you put some clean gauze over the wound and then began wrapping it with some CoFlex bandage tape. Z giggled at Jack's face as he stuck his tongue out at you.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled, “No… but for the record always Disney Princesses, and it better be Cinderella.” he stood when you finished.

You chuckled, “Doesn’t surprise me you’re a Cinderella guy…” you teased.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he said, offended.

You laughed and looked up at him, “I don’t know… you just have this, energy, not a bad thing, just sayin’...” you winked and looked down at your pouch, putting things back in.

“Mmhm, sure.” Jack shook his head and chuckled.

You zipped back up your pouch and looked back up at Jack, “Ok, so, he can’t walk, I need to carry him. Can you cover us?”

He nodded, “Yeah, if you can guide me, I can do that.”

You nodded and scooped Z up in your arms, and kissed the top of his head gently, “Z, this is my friend Jack, he’s going to help get us out of here, ok?”

He smiled at Jack, “Hello Mr. Jack.”

Jack smiled and shook his hand through Z’s hair to make him giggle, “Hello Z…”

Z giggled and then nuzzled into your neck, you looked at him and smiled, “Can you put your arms around my neck and hold on tight to me?” you asked.

He nodded and did so, but then lifted his head a little and said, “I love you khahar, thank you for coming back for me.”

Tears welled in your eyes, “I would burn the world for you Z… and I love you too kiddo.” you kissed his head again and then looked at Jack and took a breath, “We need to keep heading north, there should be a humvee about 20 to 30 yards from here, it’s the Captain's quarters and knowing the protocol, he got out via air support so his vehicle should still be here.”

Z nodded, “It is, I saw it when I was running, it’s there!”

Jack smiled towards Z, “This kid I’m sure comes in handy…”

You nodded and chuckled, “He’s my right-hand man, aren’t you Z?”

Z nodded proudly.

Jack chuckled and then opened the door and stepped out, clearing the area in front of you before you stepped out with Z.

You held his head down with one hand and whispered, “Head down, stay quiet. I got you.” he nodded and kept his head down.

You and Jack walked slowly and carefully through the area, making it to where you could see the abandoned vehicle within your view.

You and Jack walked slower than usual after seeing it, careful not to make too much noise as it was eerily quiet.

You made it to the Humvee and set Z down in the back seat, “Ok let’s get you buckled in little man.” you started to buckle him in. He smiled at you “Are we going to see Maria?” he asked as you buckled the belt.

You nodded, “Yeah, just a short car ride, easy and painless.” you moved back and smiled at him, feeling some relief this was close to being over, that you were able to get him to safety.

You stepped back a little and acted like a roller coaster operator, “Thank you for choosing to ride with us today, here at Delta 30 we ask that you please keep your hands and feet inside the cabin at all times!” you did the little gesture they all do to when they explain this at theme parks, then you did a cheesy smile “Thank you again for choosing us, and please enjoy the ride…” you said in a silly voice, making him giggle, you smiled brightly hearing his laugh.

Jack chuckled at your performance and hopped in the driver's seat and pulled down the sunshade, “Shit. No keys…” he looked back at you, wondering what to do.

You looked at him, “Inside, they’ve got to be inside, he has them hanging on the wall in his office… I’ll go grab them, stay with Z.” you grabbed your rifle around your front again and stepped into the building, your heart racing, breathing sharp and fast, anxiety through the roof.

Lights were buzzing on and off, and rubble was everywhere, you walked slowly and cleared every blind spot. You slowly made it through the first floor, clearing the rooms, and walking up the first flight of stairs carefully. You walked down the hall and held your breath, careful to be quick but quiet.

You finally made it to the office and saw the keys, you reached and grabbed them “Bingo!” you started heading out of the office when you heard ‘pop, pop, pop’, gunshots.

You ran out as quick as you could, gun pointed forward, breathing fast and hard. You came out to Jack wrestling with two men, another on the ground, dead. You went to shoot at one of them to help Jack when you felt someone's arms around your throat from behind you, pulling you back, putting you in a chokehold.

You gasped for air, but then let go of your rifle to hang around your neck and reached to your side holster to grab your knife as quickly as you could, fighting to stay standing as the person was trying to take you to the ground. You finally grabbed it from your holster and you reached back and stabbed your assailant in the side of the leg and then headbutted him in the face, pulling the knife out in the process of trying to get away. He screamed in pain and let go of you to grab his leg. You turned and went to stab him again but he was faster and punched you in the jaw, knocking you off balance backwards.

You heard two more gunshots behind you.

“Z! Get down!” you shouted, not seeing where he was but did so out of instinct.

You regain your balance and put your fists up, holding the knife in your dominant hand to use as well. Your attacker stands up straight and pulls a knife out as well from a holster behind his back and grins sinisterly.

You readjust your knife for hand-to-hand combat. You let out a breath to calm yourself down roll your shoulders backward and your head side to side. You then square up your fists and take a step forward, he does the same and swings his fist toward you. You duck backward and to the side to dodge, and then take a swing yourself to his face, hitting him across the face, leaving a good slice across his cheek as your knife makes contact with your fist.

He recklessly swings again toward you with just his fist and you block it by putting your arm up and then grabbing that arm and twisting it outward, and landing a hard hit to his most likely already broken nose. He yells in pain and then goes to stab you in the side but you block that by moving your knife to block it, which goes through his wrist. You then grab his wrist with your knife still in his arm, bring his arms together to incapacitate him, and then step back and kick him in the chest away from you.

He stumbled back and then yelled loudly as he was mad he was being bested. He looked at you and spat in your direction, calling you a bitch in Dari, and then moved forward to kick you, you grabbed his foot and held him there grinned back at him, calling him ‘Khar Kuss’, which meant donkey fucker.

He looked at you shocked which distracted him enough to take your knife from his wrist that was holding his leg to get away from you, stab him in his kneecap, and twist the knife. You then pulled him in quickly towards you, aiming the knife at his chest. He gasped and you whispered in his ear, “Bay pathar” (bastard) and pulled the knife out, letting him fall to the ground.

You were panting, adrenaline high, making you buzz.

You turned back hearing grunting to find Jack still wrestling with someone, being pinned to the ground, the knife being pushed to his throat, him pushing against it.

You pulled up your rifle and shot the person in the head, making him fall to the side of Jack. You were both of our breath and on edge, Jack sat up on his elbows and looked your way, “Took ya long enough!” he held his throat.

You chuckled manically, “Sorry, I was dealing with my own battle with death, princess!” you pointed to the dead body near you.

You shook your head and chuckled at him rolling his eyes at you.

You came over and held out your hand to help him up. He grabbed your hand and laughed finally as he stood.

You both took a second and calmed your breathing, you leaned over with your hands on your knees. That’s when you heard coughing and gasping from behind you, you could swear your heart stopped for a moment realizing it was Z.

You quickly turned around and found him in the back of the vehicle bleeding from his chest and stomach, holding his stomach and slumped in his seat.

“No, no, no.. no! Fuck!” you ran and unbuckled him, eyes wide, there was so much blood.

You quickly grabbed him and he fought against you in pain, “It’s ok, it’s ok, Z, it’s me… I know it hurts, please… I need to help you sweetheart.” you quickly grabbed him and laid him on the ground flat, he started shaking and gasping softly.

“Jack? Jack help me!” you frantically took off your gloves and started to put your hands over his stomach to put pressure on the bleeding.

Jack looked at Z’s body, defeated, he knew this wasn’t something you could stop, “Y/N he… he’s lost too much blood, he’s not going to make it.”

“No… No!” you shouted, pulling gauze out of your pouch with one hand while the other stayed on his stomach. You were angry because you knew deep down he was right, “Fuck you! You said the same about Maria, and she was fine!” you began to sob, packing, trying to stop the bleeding but it just kept coming, Z put his hands on yours like he was telling you to stop.

You looked at Z’s face, his breathing was sharp and fast, and he had tears stained on his cheeks. Blood was starting to come from his mouth most likely his chest wound. Then he started closing his eyes, “No.. no Z don’t close your eyes, Z look at me, keep your eyes on me.” you moved closer to him and touched his face gently, hands shaking, “Z eyes open…” and then brought him into your lap and sobbed, “Z, look at me, eyes on me baby boy… please…” you hold on to his head, pleading with him to wake up.

He opened his eyes and swallowed softly, “I’ll be ok khahar… I’m going to my papa and mama up in the clouds...” he said in between breaths with a small smile, tears falling down the sides of his face, looking up at you.

You shook your head and tears streamed down your face, and your lips quivered, you held him close and rocked him back and forth keeping a hand on his cheek, keeping your eyes on him, “Z, you’re ok, stay with me… please...” you then brought him into your embrace and hugged him so lovingly, one arm around his tiny body, one hand holding the back of his head, gripped onto him, humming that song you and Maria did for him when you met him, continuing to rock back and forth, trying comfort him, you felt his body go limp after a couple minutes.

You pulled him back from your embrace and looked at him, tears falling onto him, your voice breaking, “Z…?” you looked for any reaction, eyes searching, scanning every part of his for movement.

His eyes were looking up to the heavens, you put your hand on his cheek, it was cold, then you put your finger on his pulse point, and you felt nothing.

You bowed your head to touch his forehead softly sobbing and then cried out a heartbreaking moan.

You started rocking him back and forth, holding his lifeless body in your arms, shaking as you sobbed, frantically trying to hold him tighter to you.

Jack put a hand on your shoulder, to comfort you, letting you have a moment to grieve.

You sobbed and whispered to him, “I’m so sorry Z… I’m so so sorry…” over and over again into his hair, closing your eyes, kissing his head over and over again, cradling him as you continued to sob.

A few moments went by and Jack heard some gunshots nearby and knelt beside you, “We need to go… Y/N, you need to let him go.” he started to pry your arms off of Z.

“Jack… stop please…please…” you pushed him away, tears running down your face as you clung to him, wanting more time.

He was gentle but kept persisting, slowly prying you off Z, “Y/N he’s gone. We need to go, we are in danger. We need to go home…” He paused to gather himself, “Z… he’s with his family now… you need to let go… come with me.” he started to get teared up seeing your heartbreak, “Y/N… come with me, let’s go to Maria… to Joel…” he said softly trying to say anything to help you let go.

You heard two more gunshots and knew it was time. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes one last time, and whispered into his skin, “Doostetaan daaram (I love you) Azzami. I promise I will see you again Z.” then you kissed Z’s forehead softly.

You reluctantly let go of Z’s body and Jack dragged you away from his body, as you sobbed uncontrollably as he walked you to the car, gently saying, “I know… shh shh… I know… it’s hard… I know. He’s safe now, he’s at peace.” he hugged you tightly, you gripped onto him for dear life, sobbing into his vest.

He put you into the car and shut the door. You looked at him one last time from your seat. “Wait, his eyes, close his eyes!” you said, voice breaking.

Jack went over to his body and knelt by him, closing his eyes with his hand, and then stroked his head gently before standing and coming around to the driver’s side, starting the vehicle up.

No matter how hard you tried, Z still died in the middle of the street. Just like the other children that you attempted so hard to evade becoming his fate.

Once you and Jack got out of the north gate, Jack turned to you, you were looking down at your hands, they were covered in Z’s blood, your mind was going through everything that happened the last 10 minutes, where you went wrong to make this happen.

“You wanna radio Maria? Let her know we are on our way?” he tried pulling from where he knew your mind was.

You looked at him and then back at your hands, “I…Jack, I don’t know what I’m going to tell her. We… Z, he… we were all family, how do I say he’s dead?” you swallowed a lump in your throat.

He looked at the road, “You don’t do it over the radio. You do when you are together and can grieve together. Just… just say you’re on your way. We should be there in less than 10 minutes.” he said, softly and trying to suggest something that might help you with what you’re battling with internally.

You didn’t say anything, you just kept staring at your hands.

“It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault. It just happened and there wasn’t anything we could do. We did everything we could to protect him. They… those men came out of nowhere, even I didn’t see them until they grabbed me.” He sighed. “If you’re blaming yourself, don’t. You couldn’t have stopped his fate.” he said and put a hand on yours, trying to offer comfort.

You looked at him and gripped his hand, “I just… I feel so numb.”

“It will go away. You’ll move on, and instead, hold him in your heart.” he said then swallowed, “I lost my partner in no man's land the first time I went. He… he was my Z. Like a little brother to me.” he gripped the steering wheel, tears welling up, “I found him with a hole in his chest, there was nothing anyone could do… so I just sat there and held his hand, told him I’d watch over his wife and son, and that they’d be ok.” he cleared his throat as tears fell down his cheeks. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him.” he pulled out some dog tags from under his vest, “I carry him everywhere I go, and it helps…” he looked over at you, “I saw you both had those bracelets on… keep yours, wear it every day. It’ll be your part of him.”

You looked at your wrist and touched the bracelet you had on your wrist, let out a shaky breath, and then nodded. “Thanks for that Jack… I needed that.” you looked over at him and sadly smiled. “What was his name?” you nodded to his tags.

“Ironically, his name was Zachary.” he chuckled sadly.

You smiled sadly, “Our Z’s” You squeezed his hand again.

You both looked at each other and nodded together before you continued driving.

Maria’s POV

It had been over 2 hours since she had heard from you. Joel and Tommy stayed on the Skype call with her, Reggie knew the importance and found a way to plug in the power cord somewhere nearby.

She got to know Joel and Sarah more. The four of them found comfort in each other while they waited together.

“I can’t believe she took those pictures! I look like a troll in that one!” Maria laughed as Joel showed her some of the photos that were developed from your disposable camera.

“I think you look like a cute troll…” Tommy took the photo from Joel and smiled at it.

“I don’t know if I should be offended or not by that…” Maria chuckled.

Tommy, Joel, and Sarah all chuckled together at that comment.

“Delta 27, this is Delta 30, do you copy?” you came on the radio but it was going in and out.

Maria grabbed it off the table and fiddled with it then called back, “This is Delta 27, is this Delta 30? Over.”

There was static for a few seconds then you came on again, much clearer, “This is Delta 30, be advised we are 5 minutes out from location. Over and out.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Joel chuckled with tears in his eyes, and Sarah hugged his side, tearing up too.

“Delta 30, this is Delta 27, do you have Z? Can I talk to him? Over.” Maria asked, tears streaming down her face, smiling.

Static.

“Delta 30, do you copy?” Maria asked.

Static.

She looked at the radio and then looked at one of the soldiers next to her, “Hey, do you guys have a bad radio connection between Delta 27 and 30?”

He looked at her, “Depends on what road, if it's off-road, it can cause issues.” he shrugged.

Maria nodded, her face showing concern.

Tommy saw and softly spoke up, “Maybe it’s just a bad area? Their first response came in spotty, I bet they are ok…” he smiled softly.

Maria nodded and took a breath. She put the radio down and then kept her eyes on the entrance gate.

Less than 5 minutes later she saw Jack come through the gate and then you, you were covered in blood, but no Z.

“Where’s Z?” she questioned, not connecting the dots yet then it hit her, realizing who’s blood that was.

Her face fell and tears welled up, she shook her head in disbelief.

“Maria, what’s going on? What’s happening?” Tommy asked seeing her face.

“Jack! Y/N! Over here!” she shouted and started waving her hand to signal you over.

You turned her way stopped in your tracks and caught her eyes. She mouthed ‘Z?’ to which you sadly shook your head.

She put the laptop on the table next to her and held her stomach as she sobbed, “No… please no!” she cried.

Reggie heard and came over, “Maria? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“No! Not Z!” she shouted and held her hand over her mouth.

Tommy instantly put it together, he looked at Joel and shook his head, “Z did make it…”

Joel knew this would crush you, this wasn’t just some random person, this was your Z. If he hadn’t known, you could have been a mother to him with how you took care of him.

You and Jack began running over to her area. You had no idea Tommy, Joel, or Sarah were on the laptop, listening or watching.

You took off your helmet and rifle near the bed and came up to her bedside, then pulled her into your embrace, hugging her so tightly.

Joel saw you partially in the camera’s view. Relief flooded every atom in him, you were truly ok, you were safe.

Sarah, Tommy, and Joel all stayed quiet, they knew you both were going to be crushed by this.

You cradled her head with your hand and tears fell down your face as she sobbed, “I’m so sorry… Maria, I’m sorry.” you held onto her until she slowed down her breathing.

You then pulled back, knelt by her bed, and swallowed down the emotion that was threatening up and out. You took her hand, took a deep breath, and looked up at her and Reggie who sat beside her, you started slow and spoke softly, “It was an ambush. Z had an injured ankle. He was in Reggie’s bunkhouse. He couldn’t even get away if he tried…” you sighed and looked down at the ground for a moment, “We went to go get Captain’s car, Z said it had been left behind. So when we got there… I buckled him in.. made sure he was safe and ready to go…” your voice cracked. You let out a breath before continuing, looking back up at them. “I went in to get keys for the Humvee but heard 3 gunshots on my way out.” your hand started to shake remembering details, Maria held your hand tighter.

Your breathing became shaky and quick, “I came out, two men were on Jack, one was already on the ground dead, but then before I could get to Z…” you looked at Maria and her only, “I… someone came behind me and put me in a chokehold…” you sighed and looked down ashamed, “I heard two more gunshots, I… I told Z to get down… but I was at knifepoint… I… I couldn’t get to him…” You looked up at her and Reggie, they both realized that was most likely the moment he got shot and put their heads down to quietly cry. You took a breath and then clenched your jaw, trying to hold it together, your tone changed, and there was slight anger in your tone, “I… I took care of my attacker, and then turned and saw someone was on Jack… so I shot them too. I…I have no idea how long Z was down.” you explained, and looked down and let tears fall on the ground, feeling ashamed and responsible deep down.

Jack piped in as he stepped forward, “I was pulled out of the vehicle by the first man who was dead on the ground, then the other two were on me like flies on shit. I couldn’t see Z for a long time. I don’t know if the first three got him or the last two that got ‘em. I… we… we did everything… Y/N did everything the second we saw him.” he said as he looked down at you and then back up at Maria and Reggie, wiping a tear from his cheek.

You nodded and looked at her and swallowed the lump in your throat, “He had chest and abdominal wound, he bled out… I…” you looked down and choked up, “I tried everything, but it was too late… there was so much… blood… he…” you cleared your throat and looked up at her, tears falling, “He died in my arms… I uhm… hummed that song we sang to him when we first met him… so he uh…” you chuckled through a sob. “He died knowing we loved him.”

Maria chuckled with you and smiled at the comfort that would have brought him in that final moment, “Oh Z…”

“He told me he was going to be with his mom and dad in the clouds…” you sadly said as you looked down starting to breathe faster, a sob starting to escalate, the emotions that you had shoved down erupting, “Fuck…” you chuckled and looked back at her, “He had no fear. He wasn’t scared. He…” Your knee began bouncing, and you could feel it all pushing to burst, so you stood and turned around to regain composure and had your fists clenched at your sides, your leg shaking to ground you, “Fuck… Fuck…” You looked to the sky and then closed your eyes and took a breath, opening your eyes back up, but then looked down and saw your hands, bloodied and shaking.

“Y/N… take a second…” Jack said, softly reaching for you. You reacted when he touched you and shoved him away, “No… I don’t…” you pointed at him, and then let out a shaky breath, angry at yourself, you felt overwhelmed, and overstimulated, everything became too much. So you looked around for anything to take your emotions out on. You saw a table next to you with medical instruments on it. You pushed it over angrily, and then winced and grabbed your hand, “God damn it!” you saw your cut your hand on something sharp, blood pouring out of your palm, you were huffing angrily when then as you saw the blood pour it melted into a sob. You dropped to your knees and cradled your hand to your chest.

Reggie immediately ran over and knelt to hug you, he held onto you tightly, “Hey, let’s get you cleaned up, yeah? Get that stitched up and those hands washed.” he pulled away and tried to look at you, touching your cheek, but your eyes were not with him all the way, you started to disassociate and you stared into the distance with tears rushing down your face.

He looked at Maria behind you, worry sketched across his face, Joel saw and unmuted the mic, and he spoke up softly, “Baby, can you hear me?”

You sprang to stand up and turned around and for a second you thought he was there, you began frantically looking around, “Joel?”

Maria pulled the laptop over into her lap and reached over to gently touch your arm, “Hey… right here…”

You looked down and instantly knelt back by Maria and touched the computer screen, “Joel…” you looked and saw Sarah, you chuckled, “Sarah… I’m so happy to see you.” you smiled as tears streamed down your face. You looked and laughed softly, “Hey Tommy!” you needed this, you needed them.

“Hey hey, you got it right this time!” Tommy teased.

You smiled softly, and then looked at Maria, “Have you…” you looked back down at the computer, “Have you all been waiting online?”

Joel smiled softly and nodded, “Of course darlin’… we’ve all been prayin’ for you to make it back.” he wiped some tears on the back of his hand, “I’m so sorry to hear about Z… what can I do?” he asked sincerely.

“Unless you can discharge me, and send me home to you guys…” you chuckled sadly, “Just be here, stay here.”

He nodded and smiled lovingly, “I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Reggie, knelt by you, “I need to take care of your hand… can I just pull you away for 5 minutes?” he said softly with the most sincere intent.

You looked at your hand and then Joel and the group, “I’ll uh… I’ll be right back, I promise.” you chuckled to yourself as you walked away.

Joel and Tommy let out a chuckle and nodded, “Good one!” Tommy shouted.

You stood and followed Reggie. He took you to wash Z’s blood off your hands and then gently took care of your hand, stitching it up and then wrapping it.

He looked at you as you sat in front of him, eyes going through everything you’d been through and seen these last few days, he softly spoke up, “I know you couldn’t have done anything to save Z… but you did a lot more than you’ll give yourself credit for… you gave him comfort and that’s all anyone can ask for in their final moments.” he softly smiled and then hugged you tightly when you made eye contact with him. “I’m glad you’re safe, and thank you for coming to get me...” he said as he hugged you.

You pulled back and smiled softly at him, “I would have turned every stone in that camp to find you, Reggie.”

He nodded and tears fell down his cheeks, “I know you would have. You are someone who doesn’t give up on family. That’s why I think of you like a big sister. You’ve always been the one to protect us, and take care of everyone...” he took your hand gently, “I don’t have family back home, you and Maria and…Z… you are my family.”

You nodded, put your forehead against his, and looked at him, “I love ya, Reggie.”

He chuckled and put his hand on your shoulder, “I love ya too…”

—

After you got done with Reggie you sat with Maria and talked with Joel, Sarah, and Tommy for about an hour, slowly opening back up.

You saw Maria yawn and then Joel and Tommy as well. Sarah had already passed out on the couch nearby. You looked at the time and then smiled, “Alright, I think we all could use some rest. Plus it’s past your bedtime boys…” you chuckled standing up and stretching.

Joel shook his head, “I’m ok baby, I want to talk to you longer…” he looked at you with those big brown eyes, “Please?”

You huffed as you released your stretch and chuckled, “No, no… you don’t get to use those now mister brown eyes.”

“5 more minutes?” he asked kindly.

Maria looked at you and smiled tiredly, “You can take the laptop… I’m gonna get some sleep, I’ve been dozing off for the last 20 minutes…” She chuckled.

Tommy smiled and yawned, “Me too, I’m gonna go get some rest in the guest room. I’ll talk to you later babe.” he smiled at Maria.

She smiled and nodded, dozing off pretty quickly.

You took the laptop and carried it with you to a little area away from all the commotion, down a quiet alleyway “Can you still hear me?”

Joel had taken the laptop upstairs to his room as well while you were walking, “Yeah, I can hear you darlin’…”

You smiled and then sat down and sat the laptop down on the floor in front of you, “I need to take this off, sorry, one sec.” you started taking off the heavy vest you had on and your jacket, feeling overstimulated by it, leaving you in a dark green tank top.

Joel saw your arm and winced seeing the blood that had seeped through, “Oh baby, is that from when you and Maria were attacked earlier?” he looked at the screen a little closer.

You looked at it and nodded, “Yeah… at some point, I need to get this and my leg looked at...” You looked at your pouch and pulled out some tape, “I’m just gonna tape it up, that way I can get a nap in, and then I can worry about it later...” you smiled at him, “Hey uh… I wanted to apologize for stressin’ you out the last few days. I know it has been hard and I just, I know I don’t have anything to apologize for, but still…” as you spoke you taped your arm up and then pouted your bottom lip out to concentrate while you finished as it was a weird angle.

“You know it’s real hard to listen to a word you’re sayin’ when you're doin’ that lip pout thing…” he lovingly looked at you like you hung the moon and stars.

“What lip pout thing?” you looked at him confused.

“You know, the thing you do when you’re concentratin’, you know, this?” he mimicked it.

You giggled softly, “You’re kidding me, I do not do that!”

He grinned, “Darlin’, you do and when you’re thinkin’ real hard you do this nose scrunch thing too…” he chuckled.

You pursed your lips and shook your head, trying not to smile, “Nope, I don’t believe it.”

Joel bit his lip, and shook his head, looking at you adoringly.

“What? What are you looking at and shaking your head about there handsome…” you smiled at him, teasing him.

“I’m just thinkin’ how I can’t wait for the day where I don’t have to wait to kiss you when you do something that reminds me of why I love you…” he said like he was committing a vow to you. He meant every word.

You blushed madly and looked down, smiling widely, speechless.

“For example, if I was with you, I’d gently grab your chin and pull you up to look at me with that big beautiful smile I know you’re wearin’ right now…” he wets his bottom lip, “I’d then cradle your cheeks with my hands and look into your eyes. I’d memorize every hugh of color in them, look over every detail of your breathtaking face, every freckle, dimple, scar. I’d make the world stop for you.” he stopped and you looked up at him with so much love and adoration in your smile.

He smiled right back at you, “Then I’d bring you to my lips slowly, and kiss you with every fiber of my being…” he shyly looked down for a second, “Then I’d hold you close to me, while the world belonged to just you and I for that time.” he looked back up into your eyes.

You teared up and couldn’t help the smile on your face, but you didn’t shy away from him, you just stayed in that moment where the two of you just felt utter devotion and love for each other.

“Where have you been all my life, cowboy?” you said softly, shyly pulling your knees up to your chest and putting your face in your arms to look at him.

“Waiting right here, it’s always been you…” he said smiling softly, eyes dancing around your features.

You smiled behind your arms brightly, “As it’s always been you for me...”

Joel sighed contently and then a yawn betrayed him, and your eyes widened, and you gasped, pointing at him, “Ah ha! You are tired!” you teased.

Joel raised an eyebrow and chuckled, covering his mouth, “How are you not? How long have you been up?”

You looked at your watch and then did the math in your head, your nose doing that scrunchy thing he referred to earlier, “That! You do that!” he shouted, pointing at you.

You giggled and looked at him, “What? I do what?”

“The thing with your nose, you just did it!” he laughed softly.

“Cowboy I think you’re a little tired.. you’re seein’ things…” you teased.

He chuckled lowly and smirked, “Oh that’s not fair, no… baby I know what I saw…”

You shrugged and nodded slowly, “Ok honey, you saw it.” you mocked him, biting your lip, loving getting a rise out of him.

He bit his lip, devilish thoughts clouded his mind of what he wanted to do with you at this moment with how you were teasing him, he smirked at you.

You bit your lip and cocked your head, watching him, “And now you’re thinkin’ of some not-so-family-friendly thoughts cowboy… you naughty boy.” you grinned and tsked him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” he licked his bottom lip, and pumped his hips up, his cock starting to get hard by the banter.

You leaned in closer and said lowly, “I’d sure as hell like to be shown…”

He let a shaky breath out and swallowed hard, his cock now hard and pressing against his boxers painfully.

You bit your lip again and looked down, “Now, I’m no fortune teller, but judgin’ by your lack of speech, I’m gonna just go ahead and assume that if I was there, you and that cock of yours would like to show me a thing or two right now with how I’m actin’, isn’t that right cowboy?” then looked back up and met his gaze, smirking.

Joel's throat went dry and he just slowly grinned. He liked this side of you, it was sexy as hell.

He swallowed and cleared his throat, and sat up a bit, cocking his head to the side and tilting it up a little to challenge you back. He said lowly, stretching out every word with his drawl, every syllable, bewitching you, “Oh baby, you have no idea of the things I wanna do to you… passionately… slowly… taking every… little… moan from your lips and drinkin’ it down like whiskey…” he looked you up and down with his eyes, and then bit his lip and continued to grin, “I wanna get drunk off you and that pretty little pussy you have.”

You ran your tongue against the back of your top molars, thinking, grinning, raising an eyebrow at him, blushing brightly, feeling bold, knowing this was hurting him more than you, knowing you were being a tease, “You’d like that wouldn’t you, hearing me moan and fall apart on that cock of yours, cowboy? Beggin’... pleadin’... calling your name into your ear, as you’d claim me with each thrust…”

His breathing became quick and uneven, he reached down to palm himself through his boxers.

“Mmm, I think we’re past our five minutes cowboy…” you teased.

“Baby, please…” he groaned, looking at you with those big brown eyes, pleading.

You looked up and saw you were in a pretty public area still, you pulled out your headphones from your bag and plugged them in, then looked at him, biting your lip, “You’ve got 3 minutes baby, tell me what you’d need if I was in that lap of yours right now…”

He reached a hand inside his boxers and grunted, his head falling back against the bedframe, eyes fluttering as he let out a groan as he began to stroke himself, “Fuck, baby…” he looked back at you, eyes full of lust, “If you were in my lap… I’d have you wrap your legs around me, while we sat on the bed, and I’d support your back with my arm while tilting you ba-” he whined and tilted his head back again, “Oh fuck…”

You grinned, biting your lip, you couldn’t touch yourself where you were but you’d be using these sweet sounds he has using later to your advantage. “Baby, tell me more…” you purposely made yourself sound breathy, in an attempt to fuel his fire.

“I’d tilt you back just a tad darlin’... just to get that sweet spot I know will make you see stars… gripping my free hand into your soft and delicious hip to hold you where I want ya…” he grinned, speaking in a lower-toned voice, “I’d feed you my cock nice and slow at first, dragging it in and out, swallowing every moan you’d pleasure me with.” he tightened his jaw and swallowed a moan down, “Oh fuck, you’d feel so good around me, god I want you so bad baby…” he preached, stroking himself a bit faster.

You enjoyed watching him fall apart, crumbling just thinking about you on top of him a little too much. You could feel how drenched your panties were and the pressure they were creating against your clit was starting to become unbearable.

“I want you so much cowboy, come for me. Tell me how you’d come, baby…” you pleaded, asking softly.

He leaned his head back again and shut his eyes, imagining you instead of his hand, panting quickly and excited, “Oh god, I’d make you cum at least once, more if I could hold on long enough…” he grinned, “I… I’d put my hand between our bodies and rub lazy circles on your clit while I fucked up into your sweet, tight pussy… I… ohhh… f-fuck…” he groaned loudly. “I’d pull an orgasm from you and tell you how good you’re taking me, how you’re such a good girl for taking my cock… I’d want to suck love bites into your skin, whispering love poems as I trailed my lips along your body…. and I’d… I….” he swallowed and tried to hold on, “I’d tell you that I love you and that I worship you and that I’m yours, fully, every part of me is yours baby… that….” his breathing became quicker as he rambled, “I… fu-fuck…” he stuttered as he felt the pull of a climax approaching.

You interrupted and said slowly and softly, “I’d tell you that I’m yours and that I love you more than you know… I’d drag my fingers through your hair while saying prayers of pleasure as my lips kissed against your neck, jaw, and earlobe, worshipping how you feel deep inside me…” you said starting to sound excited and breathy truly now yourself, “I’d want your lips on mine as you came in me, whispering to each other sweet nothings as we both came down from our highs, intoxicated by each other.” you said and saw him flex his jaw and keep his head back, eyes shut, and then moan your name as he came, out of breath, beginning to chuckle, he lifted his head and looked at you, grinning drunkenly.

You giggled, biting your lip shyly.

He swallowed and sat up to look at you better, “Just for the record, this will be the only time that I cum before you’ve had the chance to, you understand baby?” he panted, looking at you with eyes of lust, drunk on you and the thought of having you that way.

You nodded and grinned shyly, “Yes sir…”

He swallowed hard and shook his head before he bit his lip, “No baby, you can’t do that to me, you’ll get me goin’ again…” he chuckled, still out of breath.

You cocked your head, now curious, “Can’t do what…sir?” you bit your lip, smirking.

He pushed his hair back and tried to slow down his breathing, “Darlin’…” he smirked at you, “Please… not there… you do that when you’re here… when I can…” he shyly looked down a little, “when I can show you what that actually does to me… and can show you how good I can make you feel.” he looked at you and grinned before biting his bottom lip. You could tell he was thinking of what he’d do to you just by the way his eyes danced over yours.

You blushed a new shade of red and nodded, looking down shyly.

“Good. I uh… I’ll be right back baby, I need to clean up.” he went to get up but you stopped him. “As much I am thoroughly enjoying this, I need to get some rest, and so do you. Can I call you sometime tomorrow, I promise not to run off on some stupid dangerous assignment again.” you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

He smiled softly at you and nodded, “Yes. Let’s do that darlin’, just message me when you wake up, yeah?”

You nodded and let out a yawn.

“There we go!” he exclaimed.

You giggled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “I love you, cowboy…”

He smiled and looked at you for a few seconds, taking you in, “I love you darlin’...”

You charged your laptop when you were given a bunkhouse to share with Reggie, and saw all the messages Joel had sent you when you were away. You read them all over and over, smiling and completely losing your mind over a select few:

‘I love you darlin’, but I need to say that to you with my arms around you, lips to yours. I need you here with me.’’

You would never get tired of hearing he loves you, and you would never tire of saying it to him. You couldn’t wait to be with him, you hated this distance now that you both confessed your feelings.

‘I want to spend the rest of my days with you, taking care of you, protecting you, loving you… please, I can’t lose you.’

You couldn’t wait for this either, you were hoping the days of being away from him were getting less and less. You didn’t know what the future held for you with Delta 30 falling just a couple of days ago but you secretly hoped it would send you home, even just for a short time.

‘One day, I’m gonna marry you. Spend the rest of my days trying to make you as happy as you make me.’

‘He’s going to marry me. I’m going to marry him. God, he wants to be my husband, and I get to be his wife.’ you told yourself as you beamed, kicking your feet in your bed as you read that one over and over maybe 100 times.

These things, where he wanted to include you in his life, with Sarah, made your heart swell and made you fall deeper for him. The way he described every detail of what he wanted with you, you knew you found the one.

You couldn’t help but imagine what you’d wear… hell what he’d wear and how you’d both have the hardest time keeping your hands off each other all night. You thought about this scenario often, especially late at night when you’d moan his name into the darkness.

He remembered you liked Taylor Swift after a mention of you saying you liked one of her songs weeks ago, which led to you saying you’d love to go to one of her concerts, but you felt they were so expensive and never had the time or money to do that for yourself. He remembered, and not only that, he was actively learning and engaging so that when he would go with you, he would enjoy it with you both too.

‘...we can star gaze and I can wrap you in my arms and hold you while you watch the universe above us, while I hold mine.’ You wanted that tattooed on your forehead. The poetry of that last line made you want to jump and dance for joy. For which you did… to ‘Mine’ and ‘Love Story’ by Taylor Swift on repeat for the next two days.

—

You kept your promise and you and Joel Skype called the next day for 4 hours, you both fell asleep with the laptops in each other's beds, Joel fell asleep due to it being nighttime for him, and you fell asleep due to exhaustion.

When you woke up a few hours later you saw him fast asleep, peacefully asleep, you just laid there, pretending for just a few moments you were next to him, able to touch his cheek, gently stroke your fingers through his hair, and whisper to him how much you love him and you are so grateful for him while he rested.

You kept the video chat on for as long as one of your batteries allowed, and when you woke up again a few more hours later your laptop was dead but for a short little while it felt real, being next to him while you both slept.

5 days later

You helped around the med tent as much as they allowed you to. Since coming back from no man’s land, they were very insistent that you rested and took things easy but sitting still was hard for you when you saw work to be done.

You were helping resuscitate a young man when your commanding officer came over and looked at you, “Y/N, when you are finished here, will you come to my office and have a word with me?”

You looked up at him and nodded, “Yes sir.” you continued to do some CPR for a few more minutes before declaring there was too much time his brain had been without oxygen and called it a time of death.

You cleaned your hands up and then went over to Maria’s bunk quickly, “Hey, Sarge just called me into his office, do you know what for?” you asked, anxious by the out-of-pocket request.

Maria shrugged and shook her head, “No… I mean… maybe because I’m leaving tomorrow he’s letting you know your reassignment? I’m not sure… but I’m sure everything will be ok.” she softly smiled up at you.

You nodded and began walking the way to his office.

‘There’s no way they are sending me out again on a field assignment, I have no partner, and I’m still recovering.’ you anxiously told yourself, trying to convince yourself this was just a check-in, he had to just be checking in, right? They wouldn’t be that cruel to send you back out… right?

You opened the door to the building his office was in and instantly your heart began to race, anxiety building.

You walked up to his office door and took a deep breath and then lightly knocked on his door. “Sir? It’s Specialist Y/N…” you said softly, swallowing down your nerves.

“Ah yes, please come in Specialist…” he said with a bellowing voice.

You twisted the knob and then came in, and shut the door behind you then stood to attention, saluting him.

“At ease…” he said standing up from his desk. “Please, sit…”

You let out a shaky breath and quickly moved to sit down, you looked at him with your hands in your lap, “Thank you, sir.”

He smiled tightly, “I wanted to talk to you about your future here.” he began.

You instantly began picking at your cuticles, nervous about what lay ahead for you.

“I know your partner Specialist Maria Atkinson will be leaving tomorrow and before her, your other teammate Specialist Terrence Johanson left us… all because of your sacrifice.”

You looked at him, confused, “Sir? I-I’m sorry?”

“Well, both are alive because of you and a sacrifice you made when their lives were in danger.” he stood from his chair, “You went into active combat zones, shots firing at you, putting your life on the line to pull them to safety. Specialist, without you, they would most likely be having their families mourning their deaths…” he said as he rounded his desk and sat on the end of it, keeping eye contact with you the whole time.

“Sir, I was only doing my job.” you straightened up a little, “My job is to save lives, I didn’t… I didn’t do anything special. I… sir, I did what I did because they were lives needin’ to be saved, they were in danger, hurt, and needed help.” you said with tears in your eyes, “I… mean, yes, I made promises to each to get them and their families… to get them back home safely…” you shrugged, “I’d like to believe I’m a man of my word, but I didn’t do anythin’... heroic?” you said honestly.

He nodded and folded his arms, “I have also been told by Agent Coleman that you were an integral part in getting Captain Williams out of Delta 42 safely, in fact, he said that without your quick thinking and planning, the group wouldn’t have made it out.” he looked down at you.

You swallowed, and your foot started to anxiously tap, “Sir, again, I was just doing my job. Our assignment was to get him out, that’s what I did.” you looked at him, confused as to why he was bringing all this up.

“Specialist, did you also not put yourself back in harm's way to go back into Delta 30 to pull out your fellow medic Specialist Reginald Mackey and the child we knew as Z?” he asked.

You stiffened up at the mention of Z, tears formed in your eyes, and you looked away from him and at a statue on his desk to focus on something, not on the loss of Z, you swallowed the lump in your throat, “Yes sir I did.”

He nodded and stood up from sitting on the desk, “I’ve been told that as you were getting into the plane as you were leaving Delta 42… you were struck by enemy fire in your leg, affecting your ability to walk, is that true?”

You looked up at him, confused by the line of questioning, “Yes sir but it-”

He cut you off, “Thank you for the confirmation Specialist.”

You looked at him and was so fucking confused, what the hell is happening.

“Please stand Specialist Y/N.” he turned around to grab something on his desk.

You stood from your chair and kept your hands to your side, letting out an anxious breath, eyes front.

He turned around and took your specialist patches off your uniform, “On behalf of the United States of America and the United States Army, we thank you for your service and sacrifice. You are hereby promoted and shall be given the respect and command of Sargent.” he replaces it with Sargent patches on your shoulder and chest. “Due to your acts of service and sacrifice in the rescue and retrieval of Specialist Atkinson and Specialist Johanson, attempted rescue of Specialist Mackey which put your life on the line when it wasn’t a command or assignment- as well as in the rescue mission of Army Commander Williams from Delta 42, resulting in medical injury, you are hereby medically discharged and will return home to North Carolina in three days at 0900 hours.” he handed held out an envelope for you to take with one hand and his hand to shake with the other.

You stood there in shock. “Sir?”

He smiled gently and grabbed your right hand, shaking it, and putting the other hand on your shoulder, “You’re going home, soldier.”

Previous chapter - Next chapter

Taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen

A/N: i sobbed writing this one, uncontrollably at one point, and was also kicking my feet, giggling and squealing... i hope you enjoy it as much as i loved writing it 🖤

#joel miller fanfiction #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller series #pedro pascal #joel miller smut #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal joel miller #pedrohub #the last of us hbo #the last of us #joel tlou #tlou hbo #with all my love

47 notes · View notes

7ndipity · 1 year ago

Text

First Date at The Carnival

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: Headcannons of what a first date with them at the carnival would be like

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon for requesting this! This is such a cute idea for a first date, I really love it!

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I think this type of date would match his vibe really well, it makes it easy for him to show off both his silly and sweet sides.

Screams his head off on the rides, even the slow, non-scary ones, just to make you laugh.

Would have so much fun trying all the different snacks and foods with you.

He would be hell-bent on winning you a plushie before y’all leave tho.

Yoongi:

He would be so cute on the first date, He’d be such a shy baby at first.

Until he wins one of the ball toss or shooting games on like the first go, and then his cockey side comes out.

I feel like y’all would get over-competitive at some of the games as a result, betting that the loser has to buy the next round of snacks.

He refuses to actually let you pay for anything tho, calls it a reward for being a good sport.

Hobi:

Oh my goodness, he would be soo cute on a date like this!

Because it’s the first date, he would be so easily flustered if you compliment him, but would still try to be cute and hold your hand or smth.

Not the best with most of the rides, but y’all would have so much fun playing games.

His favorite part tho would be just getting to know you, playing smth like 20 questions as you wander around.

Namjoon:

I would love to see him on a date like this; no worries, just him being light and goofy and having a good time with you.

Y’all would for sure get lost in the funhouse/hall of mirrors.

Would hold onto you in some way most the night, tho he claims it's to keep y’all from getting separated.

Just has so much fun just wandering around and eating junk food with you.

Jimin:

This kind of date is right up his alley, like remember when he and Jk went to Disneyland Tokyo?

Lets you pick nearly all the rides y’all go on, very much wants to match your comfort level for those things.

He does insist that y’all get the classic snacks tho, like funnel cakes and cotton candy.

Argues with himself half the night on if he should kiss you on the ferris wheel or if it’s too soon.

Taehyung:

He would be so cute, playing up the gentleman role. Brings you flowers, holds the doors for you(even on the rides) lets you have the first taste of all the food.

He has the habit of making everyone feel super comfortable, so even if it's technically a first date, it quickly feels like you’ve done this half a dozen times before.

Wants to go on the roller coasters or smth, but then hangs onto you for dear life the whole ride.

Would win y’all matching plushies or something as a memento of the day.

Jungkook:

Omg, He would be so fun on a date like this, you guys would spend ages playing games, seeing who can get the highest score.

It truly feels like you’re just hanging out with one of your best friends

If you’re cool with it, y’all would go on almost every single ride. The only thing stopping him is if there’s a size limit for little kids or if you’re scared of any of the rides.

Y’all end up staying till the park closes.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

191 notes · View notes

st0rmyskies · 8 months ago

Text

I spent the day sweating my ass off at a smaller hometown theme park, so here's a list of how the boys enjoy their day trip to a fun park.

Twilight - He’ll go on any ride with anyone no matter how fast or scary, nor how slow or mundane. Although the teacups and other rides that spin you a lot tend to make him dizzy, and he's not a big fan of the haunted house. But our big soft-hearted country boy is partial to the antique carousel and needs to go on it just once. Come on, guys, anybody…? (Spoiler: They all go on it with him.)

Wild - It’s a wonder he’s going to survive any of the rides because this boy is all about the food. Funnel cake? Candy floss?? Potato pancakes??? Fudge????? Dippin’ Dots!!????!?!? He has his hands full of treats while they’re waiting in every line, and on any ride he can sneak them on to successfully, too. His favorite ride is the music-coaster-thing, and he’ll sing along at the top of his voice to every damn song.

Champion - Not too thrilled by rides, but he will go on them to be a sport. Except those rides with a sheer drop, tower-of-terror style. NO fucking thanks. Where he really slays, though, are the shooting games, with special bonus points if one of the other boys challenges him to a round. You bet your ass Champion is casually lugging around a stuffed Wolfie half the size of his body for most of the day.

Legend - He’ll get on some of the coasters and the crazier rides, but not all of them. He’s not a big fan of screaming his head off all day long, gives him a headache. He gets uppity with the fortune telling machine giving him the same negative reading over and over again no matter how many quarters he jams in the damn thing. And his fortune ends up coming true, too: he gets banned from the bumper cars after a vulgar road-rage incident.

Hyrule - Goes on one, maybe two coasters, and promptly pukes. He’s then the designated Bag Handler for the rest of the day. Which actually works out well, all up until the mid-afternoon when he wanders off to find himself some coffee and promptly gets lost, necessitating a rather embarrassing announcement over the PA system.

Warriors - He stressed out about his outfit for two weeks beforehand and STILL managed to choose the wrong thing to wear. Yes, those linen pants with the front crease are supposed to be breezy, Wars, but they’re meant for something like a wedding, not a fucking amusement park. He gets cranky when he’s too fucking hot and his hair is damp against the back of his neck. Eventually, one of the other boys — probably Legend or Sky — has to shoo him away from the group for a bit. When they turn up 20 minutes later Wars has an icy drink, a pair of novelty swim trunks from the souvenir shop, a headband for his hair, and a brand new “fuck it, we ball” attitude.

Sky - Loves all the roller coasters, LOVES THEM, and gets sad if he doesn’t get to sit in the front seat on every single one. He wants to go on the biggest, tallest, fastest, most OSHA-violating coaster no less than three times, and he’ll hop off of it just to turn around and get right back in line. Least likely to remember to hydrate and reapply sunscreen. You know he’s passed the fuck out that entire drive home.

Four - He quite enjoys observing the inner workings of the mechanics that go along with the rides, then makes ominous comments about the engineering to his seat-mate as they’re being hauled up the incline for that first drop of a coaster. He also spends an inordinate amount of time in the air conditioned arcade winning as many tickets as he can to obtain some silly prize like an obscure toy from the 80’s or something similar. May not be tall enough to ride every ride.

Wind - Water rides are his JAM. His hair and clothes and shoes are soaked through well before halfway through their day, and he gets the cutest waves in his hair because of it. Although he also smells like chlorine all day, then. Also has way too much ice cream and cold treats during the day, so he’s nursing a hell of a stomach ache on the drive home.

Time - Bet you thought he wouldn’t be in attendance or would wait in the car or some shit, didn’t you? Time allows the boys to cajole him onto every coaster, every water ride, the carousel, into the haunted house, you name it. He’ll sit in the first row of the rides that take your photo, too, and he just. Deadpans it. Zero facial reaction, no screaming on coasters, ALL day. Flawless commitment to the bit. He does secretly enjoy all of this; Time didn’t get to do this sort of stuff when he was their age, so better late than never.

#stormy talks #hsh #townhouse au #rank the boys

52 notes · View notes

iliveinyourfridge67 · 5 months ago

Text

Talia after the cyclone fanfic

its really bad lol

It was a hot summer day, Monday, September 14. Talia woke up, excited, she was so happy. Why was talia so happy? Well! Her online boyfriend, Mischa, had just told her that he finally gathered enough money to come to ukraine and visit her! Talia needed to clean fast before he came in a few days. Her house was a mess, Talia walked through all the clutter on the messy bedroom floor, stepping on needles, stepping on CD’s stepping on toys, Talia tip toed her way through.

I need my headphones

Talia thought, she scrambled through all her mess and finally found it, she took out her phone and as soon as she picked it up she found 248 unopened messages from him.

My bad egg:

Hey baby

Hey babe

Im going to sing at the fall fair

You know i being in this

Chorus

Its okay baby, i hope you have fun

Love you, wanna rolepla-

They texted on and on for hours, as Talia listened to, This Song is Awesome by the bad egg.

Talia cooked herself breakfast and imagined her and mischa, on her deck with 3 of his babies, ah, how she wants him so bad. Hes such a bad boy she giggled to herself.

My bad egg:

Hey babe, im here at the park,

Its so boring

Lol baby your so funny

They texted on for hours

Going on a roller coaster, the cyclone

Ok baby have fun

Its so boring

Well what did you do fun today?

Read: 2 minutes ago

Read:20 minutes ago

Read:9 hours ago

Read: 10 days ago

She was so tired of him ghosting her, what did she even do to him

Each day went by as she thought of all the things she could have done to stop her from ghosting him.

Talia threw away her headphones, and deleted all their messages, she was so angry about what he had done to him.

. . .

Suddenly she heard a call

She picked up the phone to hear the faint words of her boyfriend

“I cant get no-”

Suddenly it cut out, she sat there, knowing he was either pranking her, or butt dialing her, but whatever, she didn’t care anyways

3 months later

Talia watched TV, she had completely forgotten about what happened with her online, troll, boyfriend.

She saw on the channel was news from Uranium city

The cyclone incident bodies have finally been identified

Ocean o connel rosenberg…

“This is so boring”

Just as Tali

a was about to turn the TV off

Mischa…

A photo of her online boyfriend painted on the screen

Then she realized..

#ocean rtc #jane doe rtc #rtc #ride the cyclone musical #mischa rtc #rtc musical

28 notes · View notes

amongusmpreg · 4 months ago

Note

Why are you so cheesy pilled

ok, well honestly this is something i’ve been meaning to get off my chest.

1. Meeting your soulmate

2. Going to your friend's weddings

3. Stargazing

4. Food

5. Going to every country

6. Nice smelling candles

7. Music

8. Concerts

9. The people that love you.

10. Snowball fights

11. Going to the beach

12. Sunsets

13. Sunrises

14. Hiking in Forests

15. Dogs and Cats and Pets

16. New movies

17. Old movies

18. Going to the drive in theatre

19. Walking through local markets

20. Your favorite artists next song

21. Drawing

22. Sculpting your own pots

23. Birthdays

24. Inside jokes with your friends

25. That special persons laugh

26. Warm houses on cold days

27. Bonfires with smores

28. Reconnecting with old friends

29. Smelling flowers

30. Soft plushies

31. The smell of fresh baked cookies

32. Kareoke

33. Sleepovers

34. Your favorite videogame

35. Learning a new language

36. Long walks on the beach

37. Seeing every ocean

38. Squishy bunnies

39. Going to the store to smell perfumes

40. Long hot showers

41. Tea/ coffee

42. Seeing rainbows

43. Helping wounded animals

44. Bath bombs

45. Cleaning the Earth

46. Getting married

47. Going to see brodway shows

48. The sound of rain

49. Long car rides

50. Going on a train

51. Memes

52. Going to the zoo

53. Looking at funny art

54. The smell of old books

55. Butterflies

56. Collecting shells

57. Color

58. Sending letters

59. Surprise parties

60. Warm sheets

61. Reading

62. Swimming in the pool at night

63. Going to diners with friends

64. Early morning runs

65. Looking at old photos

66. Going to a museum

67. Soft sweaters

68. Glitter

69. Going to the aquarium

70. Hugs

71. Making snow angels

72. Holidays

73. Home cooked meals

74. Roller coasters

75. Decorating for parties

76. Playing pranks on friends

77. Dancing

78. Singing in the shower

79. Seeing your favorite animal in person

80. Meeting your hero

81. Bubble wrap

82. Ice water on hot days

83. Poetry

84. Trying on funny clothes

85. Hanging out with friends

86. City skylines

87. Wearing your favorite color

88. Beautiful wildlife

89. Collecting stickers

90. Making some ones day

91. Laughing so hard you can't breath

92. Warm blankets fresh from the dryer

93. Sewing

94. Seeing the future

95. Late night convos

96. Rewatching your favorite show

97. Blowing Bubblegum

98. Boardgames

99. Sitting out in the rain

100. Bubbles

101. Cooking new thing

102. Bob Ross tutorials

103. Picnics

104. Tire swings

105. Old architecture

106. Reading books

107. Growing your own food

108. Clear skies

109. Baking things you love

110. Finding new hobbies

Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.

25 notes · View notes

alzys · 1 month ago

Text

We have survived 2024.

This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions and new things for everyone in one way or another, good and bad things has happened equally all this past 12 months, but we have reached this point

I just wanna wish all my friends and those who get to see this, a happy new beginning of the year, i am truly a lucky one to be the one to say this.

Happy new year! For more to come!

[Cut bellow of me rambling a little bit]

For me, i have gotten the opportunity to meet new and wonderful people that i would never imagine to meet, seriously, i don't know where to start, everyone of you has brain worms

Every single one of you has more arstistic talent that what i could do in an entire lifetime, i almost envy that, seriously. I have been here for half a year or so and without you guys i wouldn’t have gotten so far into brainworms

[Tags]

@amimuu @ditzyclown

@canadianno @bvnny-skvllzlz

@sock-kaleidoscope @wolsalwastaken

[The section where i love you all]

Ami:

La Vaca Lola! No but seriously, i have found myself sometimes looking at your gay blog to see your art, i just love it, also i have discovered you were the one who did the first cotl comic that dragged me here, soooo thanks?

Ditzy:

Mexican Menace, i will put you under a vase and shake it, i would see their art all day if i was able to, love them lots, now i will figure out the way i can explode you with my mind

Copper:

The first person and blog i meeted via being the funny anon guy, love them lots, would eat their art any day of the week

Bunny:

I haven't really had the time to tell you but i am IN LOVE with your world, characters and art, 20/10 i would put every single art you have made into a collection

Sock:

Absolute silly, would poke you with a stick and study them to detail, the DM of the DND campaing, i love them lots, if something happens to Sock i will kill everyone in this room and then myself. (One day i will finish the last EX round i swear)

Wolsal:

The edgiest silly i have meet (/pos) i would put your art in my wall and stare at it, they are technicality the one to blame for me getting into DMAU, i gotta study you one day

I am so grateful to have meet all of you through this last few months, it has somehow felt shorter and longer that just that, love you guys

This is the most i can do to convey my feelings for you all i just hope i didn't went with way too much text

What i am talking about i have seen Sal do alot more text with one post, i really just love this stupid skeleton image (/lh) (/pos)

By the way i know its still not New Year still but the worms won the battle

Besides i wanted you to see this before new year

#anyways #i gotta plan my gobal domination #see ya around!#talkin to the wall #happy new year

16 notes · View notes

pennysperfectpolls · 3 months ago

Text

Penny Poll round 1 match 1

Penny Lamb/Jane doe (Ride the cyclone/legoland)

Penny Luckstone (Dimension 20)

Propaganda under the cut

Penny Lamb/ Jane Doe (Ride the cyclone/legoland) Propaganda

girlfailure to end all girlfailures. shes Not Like Other Girls and also literally built different (survives decapitation). she sells drugs and horribly maims a pop star and gets away w it. probably a lesbian but if you call her that she will bite you. love her.

———

Penny Lamb is very joyous and whimsical!!! There's a BUNCH of different interpretations of her in the fandom, and they're all so unique... Also she faked seizures in Walmart with her canonically neurodivergent brother VOTE PENNY LAMB!!!

——

PENNY IS SOOOOOSILY AND I LOVE HER AND I LOVE JANE BUT HSHSHSHSHS VOTE PENNY LAMB!!!

——

she doesn't have a head anymore. died in a rollercoaster accident and came back to life because she was chosen by one of her classmates as being the most worthy to live. something clearly wrong with her

——

SHE IS SO INCREDIBLY SILLY???????????? WE LOVE AND CHERISH HER IN THIS HOSUE OKAY

——

This propaganda is only for her appearance in Ride The Cyclone musical but if someone else wants to submit lore from Legoland (which is the sort of prequel to Ride The Cyclone) please do so! Penny Lamb is hidden name of the girl who was beheaded in the St. Cassian Choir Cyclone Roller Coaster Incident. Because she lost her head, she had no memories of her name or family, so she assumed the name Jane Doe and uses a doll's head as a replacement for her own decapitated head. She sings The Ballad of Jane Doe which is so sad and haunting that she is chosen to come back to life as Penny Lamb. Super cool concept for a character and very neat song!

——

She's pretty neat 👍 also her design is cool

Penny Luckstone (Dimension 20) Propaganda

Imagine a perky type a sweet girl whom is the oldest of a mountain of siblings and just takes care of people on reflex and is overall just the nicest girl in the world.

Now imagine she's the deadliest member of her fantasy adventuring party. As a halfling rogue one would think she'd fall into a stereotype easily, but Penny spends most of her time on screen trying to pick between her career as a rogue and her place with her friends and family.

She didn't like that the rogues guild was going to make her choose between he friends/family and her career so she ousted them to the world so they had no choice but to let everyone get in contact with their families again, she also convinced a guy to give her a foot rub and then did the do with him within the same day what a legend

#penny poll #tournament poll #penny lamb #jane doe #legoland #ride the cyclone #penny luckstone #dimension 20

20 notes · View notes

cerysjonesdarling · 2 years ago

Text

can you tell me what’s wrong?

Mike Wheeler x fem!reader smut

Warnings: Talks about painful sex, insecurity, reader is sad/frustrated at the start.

MINORS DNI

Smut warnings: Painful sex, unprotected p in v, breeding kink, daddy kink, mommy kink, cockwarming, light somno, creampie, wet and messy, vague nod to virginity kink? Dirty talk, soft dom Mike, light humiliation.

Description: Mike’s girlfriend is struggling with sex being painful and is very insecure about it, spiralling internally because she really struggles to voice her feelings. Mike Wheeler just wants to take care of people.

**MIKE IS 20 HERE**

This is some self-serving bullshit fr

She had been so fucking difficult for him all day. She was clearly in a mood of some sort, and he couldn’t quite tell what it was about, and it was starting to really upset him. She always had roller coaster emotions, but it was evidently clear that she couldn’t seem to stay on ‘happy’ or ‘content’ for very long at all, sticking more around the area of looking grumpy, frustrated, or sometimes devastated.

He tried being nice about it, he put every ounce that he had into being patient and gentle and sweet, but his soft words and rubbing her back were met with a faraway and glassy-eyed look, his girl shrinking in on herself and almost holding back tears. And in the end, he’d never been very patient as a person.

That being said, he was enjoying getting to play this side of the board for once. It was in her nature to be nurturing, to look after him, to make him feel safe and happy and warm. Mike rarely ever got to do the same. Mike got called daddy because she liked to say it, and because it’s nice to hear. But he very rarely got to act in such a way that would be considered just purely being a caretaker for her, and he liked it quite a bit.

Well, he liked it when she wasn’t being a fucking brat about it. The tears and the pouting made his heart ache, but they were always quickly preceded or followed by frowning, snapping, fighting. He liked those things when he knew she wasn’t upset, but this time she clearly was. And for some reason, that didn’t stop his body reacting how it usually did when she made some scathing comment towards him.

It didn’t help that in between outwardly sour moods she was actively teasing him. He was trying to keep himself in line based on how her moods were changing, how fucking sad she seemed to be, but he was so fucking horny. His cock was rock hard and leaking in his jeans and she was sucking on his neck while they tried to watch a movie, and he was only a man.

He angled himself towards her a little more, playing with her hair with the arm he had around her while the other teasing at the flesh of her thigh. It seems to spur her on, which spur him on, until both were moaning into the other's mouth, palming each other through their clothes.

“Want you,” he breathed into her mouth, receiving only a whimpered cry in response as she straddled him. She was rocking against him helplessly, tears in her eyes and her face red. He cupped her face, making her look at him properly. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, baby?”

She shook her head petulantly, diving down to kiss him but he dodged. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong, princess?”

He only ever used princess genuinely, in a situation so genuinely vulnerable that he could only mean it with his whole heart. It was never meant to be cruel, unlike some of the others, just to let her know he adored her more than anything else in the world, usually when she was having a bad day.

“Don’t….don’t wanna.” She whispered. “Hard to talk about.” And she wasn’t lying either. The words felt stuck in her throat, stuck behind all the intrusive thoughts that were causing her tears, stuck behind fear and insecurity. “I just….can I try to talk about it later? It’s just hard to get to, and I….need this right now.”

And really, that was scary enough for her to do as it was. His chest filled with warmth and pride, smiling up at her and nodding as he pulled her back down to him. “Sweet girl, telling me what she needs. I appreciate your honesty, babygirl, I know it’s hard for you.”

He was at a crossroads here, though. Usually, if she’d acted this way, he’d be taking her down. Verbally, physically, he’d be trying to turn the tide of her behaviour through any punishment or humiliation necessary. But he didn’t think punishment would do any good this time, and he could tell she was humiliated enough as it was, so he had to carefully reconsider how he’d go about it before proceeding.

“You needy, baby?” He asked gently, pushing her shirt up her stomach and over her head, exposing her breasts to the bedroom that had seen them so many times before. He grazed his fingertips over them, carefully brushing over her nipples, trying to ease her into some state of complete submission. “You’ve been a bit bratty all day because you’re desperate for me, is that it?”

He was soft, rather than condescending as he spoke. She needed to be kept humiliated enough to stay at his mercy while not so much that she’d talk back. Plus, she liked it when he degraded her lightly, lovingly. She liked being forced to pout and nod and avoid looking him in the eye, humiliated and aroused and humiliated again.

Her underwear was damp already under his fingertips, and he made a sympathetic sound as he rubbed her over them. “So wet for me already, and I’ve barely touched you, love. It’s ok, you can’t help it. Look at you, all pretty and ruining your panties for me. So good for me, baby. Making me so hard.”

She whimpered again, pushing her hips against his hand and his cock. He moved his hand away, pulling her down to kiss her again, slotting their lips together and dipping his tongue into her pliant mouth, relishing how soft and needy and submissive her mouth was to him. He moved her from his lap and onto her back on the couch, situating himself between her legs and continuing his exploration of her mouth while he ground his hips into hers.

“You want my cock, baby?” He asked, grinding hard and slow against her. She didn’t answer, only grinding back. “Honey….” he pushed, dipping to suck at her breasts. “I would like an answer please.”

She continued her refusal, pouting a little when he drew back to look at her. He sighed, kissing her cheek and her temple and her nose, stopping with his nose pressed to hers and his eyes on hers.

“Wanna be really nice to you, princess, and all I’m asking is for you to tell me you want my cock.” He spoke gently, still slightly sad that she had looked so upset all day. “‘m not going to punish you. You were so brave telling me you need this earlier, but now I’m asking you to tell me what you need before I give it to you.”

She bit into her lower lip, looking somewhat frightened at having to say it out loud. She blinked up at him, trying to find the right words.

“Could you help?” She asked timidly, playing with her fingers and looking far too adorable for someone almost naked and spread out beneath him.

“I’m tryna help, honey, just want you to say-“

“No, I mean…. wanna say it, wanna tell you what I need, but need your help. Please. Just this once.”

This was another big thing for her to admit. It seemed intriguing to say the least that she was more willing to ask for help than to just tell him she wanted him inside her, but that was her contrarian nature. He nodded, pressing another kiss to her lips before snaking his hand down between them.

“So wet, baby, gonna make such a mess on the couch. Love it when you’re messy for me, darlin’,” he smiled to himself, rubbing on her drenched panties before pulling them aside lightly to touch her properly. “Fuck, baby, Jesus Christ,” he moaned, pushing his hips against her thigh as his fingers met her core. “So needy for me, so good, so fucking good.”

She was pushing her hips shakily against him, unsatisfied by how he refused to push into her, refusing to touch her to a rhythm. “Please, Mike.”

“Please what, babygirl?” He asked, eyes lust-blown and smouldering as they searched her face. “Are you ready to ask for what you need?”

She blinked a little, shaking her head. “‘m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry, baby, don’t be sorry…” she whimpered when he removed his hand, sitting up on his knees and pulling her underwear down her thighs. “You’re ok, baby, you’re alright. Promise I’ll take care of you. Gonna get you to say what you need and then ‘m gonna give it to you, ok my good girl?”

Honestly, it was a bit of a blessing to have to tease this out of her. She’d been struggling so much recently with sex, being unable to relax properly and feeling pain when she put anything inside her little hole, so he would relish this chance to get her nice and ready before filling her with his cock. He stroked along her folds, feeling a rush of arousal at how wet she was, before working a finger inside her. She clenched around him, and he heard her gasp lightly.

“Did that hurt?” He whispered, easing himself down beside her. She nodded.

“Yeah…. not a lot, but a little bit. Just at the very start.”

“Ok, baby, I’ll be super careful.” He used his thumb on her clit, working her over gently and paying attention to how she clenched and unclenched on his finger in intervals. He chanced a second finger and was met without resistance or reaction. “Was that ok?”

She nodded, giving a small smile. “Yeah, Mikey, thank you for being gentle with me.”

“That’s alright, princess, anything for you…”

He worked slowly, carefully bringing her to a comfortable place, stretching her out by scissoring with his two fingers before adding a third. She was squirming lightly, wishing for more focused attention, wishing to be allowed to cum. “Please, Mike, want it-“

“What do you want, baby?”

She faltered, looking up at him pleadingly. “More.”

He smiled, adding a fourth finger and pumping into her carefully, allowing her to feel good for a moment. “Gonna give you everything you ask for, beautiful, promise.”

He was putting more care into her than he would if she were a virgin, which she hadn’t even been when they’d met. “Do you ever wish our first times had been together?”

He’d asked quite calmly for someone who had half his hand inside this whimpering mess of a girl who was moaning into his shoulder. “Mhm. Wish you were the first in my body, Mikey.”

He could tell she was close to relenting enough to answer his question as she was calling him Mikey. That was always a funny turn of events.

“I could be, baby. Just gotta tell me what you want. What you need.”

The thought of treating her like a needy little virgin had him throbbing again. He hoped she said it soon so he could play with her how he wanted to.

“Need you, Mikey. Need you inside me….need your cock, daddy.”

He was beyond relieved. He kissed her sweetly, affectionately, before whispering: “Thank you, princess.”

He fucked her as nicely as he could manage, working tirelessly to ensure it didn’t hurt her like it had before. They really did make a mess, his cum leaking out of her and adding to the pool of her arousal on the blanket that covered the couch cushions for this exact reason.

They remained entangled, Mike not even bothering to pull out of her as they settled into a state of dreamy relaxation together. She seemed more present, more stable now, so he chanced asking his initial question once more.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong, honey?” He planted kisses on her face and her jaw and her shoulder, trying to make her feel as safe as possible while she considered what she had to say.

“I’ve been….in my head. About how it hurts to have sex. It’s been making me self-conscious, insecure kind of. Sometimes it spirals and I can’t…I can’t remember that you want me, and I think I’m broken, and that you can’t possibly want me anymore.”

He looked at her, unable to mask his devastation. “No…that’s not…that’s not true, baby, please don’t think that.”

They stayed there, talking about it until they both drifted off to sleep.

***

It can’t have been more than half an hour later when Mike blinked back awake, hot and hard from the dream he’d been having about….well, exactly this, actually. She was still asleep, and his cock was buried deep in her cunt, ready to use her again greedily and fill her up again.

He kissed her lightly, over her eyelids, forehead, cheeks, until she was blinking awake and wiggling beneath him. His breath turned ragged, his eyes fluttering closed and his mouth dropping open as she clenched around him.

“Hi, baby…” she whispered, voice husky with sleep. She lifted her hand to cup his jaw, bringing him down to kiss her again. “Like waking up like this.”

“Me too,” he rasped, kissing her deeper. He rolled his hips into her, groaning quietly. “‘s it hurt?”

She shook her head, pushing into him sleepily. “Feels good. Gonna fuck me again, daddy? Gonna breed me, breed my needy little cunt?”

Yeah, this is a lot like that dream.

His thrusts picked up speed, and she picked up in volume, spitting all sorts of filthy words at him while he got himself off in her again.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna knock you up this time, baby, gonna leave so much of my seed in you that you’ll have no choice but to have my baby. Fu-uck, mommy, so good around me. Can feel you’re close - you getting off on me breeding you? So filthy, baby, wanting to be a mommy for me just because you like my cock so much.”

He could feel her pulsing around him, a tell-tale sign that she was about to cum around him again, and he’d be a goner when she did. She was moaning, still sleepy but so relaxed and content being at his mercy, feeling her orgasm build and not having to do a thing to push for it. It was going to be intense, and she was powerless to stop it.

“Mikey, ‘m gonna cum, gonna make a mess, can’t help it, ‘m sorry-“

“Don’t be sorry, baby, I’m desperate for it. Wanna see my good girl come apart on my cock for me, oh fuck, just like that - let go, honey, that’s it-“

She arched up into him, moaning sinfully as she spilled onto him, coating his cock and their thighs in her, soaking the blanket beneath them. She was still cumming in waves, gripping onto his arm while he fucked her through it, filling her with his release before she’d had the chance to come down.

“Oh my God,” he panted, feeling the rolling ecstasy slowly abate. “Oh my God.”

He pulled out of her carefully, sitting back on his heels and marvelling at the image before him. “Why is it that the hottest visuals always come after it’s over? I don’t wanna wait a few hours to get off over this.”

She giggled dazedly, shifting slightly before he stopped her with a hand on both her knees, holding her thighs apart. “What is it?”

“Can I take a picture of you?” He asked, brain somewhere else entirely. Her eyes widened, and she nodded slowly.

“Don’t want my face in it, please,” she whispered, leaving her legs open while he got his phone. He snapped the photo before reaching a hand down to help her up.

“Messy girl needs to take a shower.” he teased, tickling her sides as he pushed her towards the door, laughing at the face she made.

“Please don’t, there is so much cum in me.” She grimaced as it leaked out of her.

“Good.”

#mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler #mike wheeler x you #mike wheeler x y/n #mike wheeler smut #mike wheeler smutfic #mike wheeler fic #mike wheeler fanfiction

449 notes · View notes