#dawn helped w my makeup <3

[cimicherrychanga]

tiny top + cargo pants combo fit two days in a row, different flavors

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[prismatica-the-strange]

All I See is Your Heart

Warnings: 18+, fluff, allusions to sex

Synopsis: That's not detangler

Pairings: Forged in Hellfire

Song: In My Eyes by The Afters

"Uh, hey babe?" Eddie calls from the ensuite bathroom of her room.

"Yeah? What's up- Wh-what's going on with your hair?" Mika laughs when he comes into view, his curly hair proofed to about 3 times it's normal poofy-ness.

"I have no idea!" He whines, ring adorned fingers trying to pull and flatten it down, "I don't know what happened!"

She gets up and wraps a few locks around her finger. Her eyebrows furrow and she brings it to her nose, it smells familiar.

"Eddie?" She looks at his upset eyes, "What were you doing in there?"

"Trying to brush my hair. I used some of your detangling spray because I was having a hard time getting the brush through-"

"W-wait. What detangling spray?"

He looks at her confused, jutting his thumb towards the bathroom.

"The... the one on the counter? It's white and blue and kinda smells like... like bananas...?" He trails off when she shakes her head, "No?"

"No," she stifles another laugh, when his mouth forms a small 'o'.

"Then what did I-?"

"Sea Salt spray," she giggles, "I use it to give my hair volume and waves."

"Well shit."

She can't stop laughing when he groans, her hands fluffing his frizzy curls, "You look so cute like this!"

"Stoooop!" He whines, pressing as much of his hair down as he can.

"Aw, I'm sorry," she coos, "Maybe next time you'll read the bottle?"

"Mikaaa!" He cries, "Can you fix it?"

"Uh..." She examines his hair, "I... don't know."

"Can you try?" He looks at her with the biggest doe eyes she's ever seen.

"Yeah, come with me," she snags her finger in one of his belt loops, pulling him back into the bathroom.

She goes to lean his head over the tub but he stops her.

"Y'know, if you wanted to see me shirtless," he pulls the fabric over his head, "You could've just asked. No need to trick me with hair sprays."

"Y'know if wanted to get me wet," She shoots back playfully, motioning at the tub, "You didn't have to spray random shit in your hair."

He looks at her with wide eyes and a small smile, "If I didn't look like a god damn poodle right now, I'd make you eat those words."

"Promises, Promises," she teases, pressing her lips to his. She gets an idea and laughs, "Wait!"

"What?" He watches her rummage through a drawer before turning back to him and pointing at the toilet.

"Sit," she commands and he does, resting his elbows on his knees.

She runs into her room and comes back with a stick of eyeliner and her Polaroid.

"Uh... w-what are we doing?" He sits up nervously.

"Just hold still."

She kneels between his legs, fingers holding his chin towards her, uncapping the eyeliner with her teeth. His cheeks heat up as he watches her study his face.

She hums to herself before running the makeup across his skin.

"Uh... Mika?" He mutters after a minute, "What're you doing there?"

"Face. Still," she says, "Do you remember how I tried to convince Ellens to put on Cats?"

"Yes...?" She'd worked for hours to get the makeup right, and it dawns on him what she's doing, "Mika No!"

"I've already started!" She whines when he tries to move, "Please? Your hair looks like a pretty lion's mane and I couldn't help myself."

His cheeks go from pink to crimson and he let's her pull him back down on the toilet lid, "You're too good with that mouth."

"I'd say you have no idea," she teases, nuzzling her face into his inner thigh, close to his crotch, looking up at him through her lashes, "But I think out of all people, you do."

He groans, "Little she-devil... fine!"

She leans up and kisses him quickly before going back to his feline-esque transformation.

"Oh my god you look so cute!" She gushes, painting on the final touches.

"Yeah, sure I do," he looks anywhere but her excited eyes.

"Picture time!" She snatches the camera from the counter and points it at him, "C'mon! Look at me!"

He looks at the camera in her hands, looking completely unimpressed, eyes blinking rapidly when he's blinded by the flash.

"Are we done now?"

"No!" She pouts, shaking the freshly printed photo, "I want a good picture of you."

He glares at her for a moment before rolling his eyes, "Alright, how do you want me?"

"Tied to the bed, but for now if you could give me a little rawr?"

He chokes on spit before bursting into a laugh, frizzy curls shaking.

She takes another picture.

For the third picture he holds his hands up like claws and bares his teeth to the lenses, hair perfectly framing his face.

"I love it baby," she's a giggling mess which pulls giggles from him until they're leaning on each other for support.

"Alright," she gasps, kissing whatever skin she can reach, "Let's wash your face, and see if we can't get this crap out of your hair, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay."

He basically purrs as she works shampoo into his hair, trying to push his head closer to her hands.

"Hold still baby boy," she murmurs, scratching his scalp, "Lemme take care of you."

"I fucking love you," he groans. He feels all warm and soft as she washes his hair, "Can we do this again?"

"En-biggen your hair?" She asks, "Or do a spa day?"

She yelps and giggles when he pinches her thigh.

"Okay, okay," she laughs, "We'll schedule some more spa days.... we can do our hair and nails, maybe some face masks and makeup, listen to some girly tunes and watch some trashy reality tv."

"And cuddle?"

"And cuddle."

"And kiss?"

"You can have all the kisses you want, love."

"I dunno if you're capable of that many kisses," he teases.

"Mmm, I guess we won't know unless I try," she leans him back into the tub, running warm water through his soapy hair. When all the soap is gone, he straightens up and she kisses him, once, twice, a third time.

"More," he sighs, making her smile.

"Conditioner first," she holds up a bottle and he melts back into her hands.

By the end of his impromptu salon treatment, his hair is nearly back to its normal volume and smells like raspberry-rose.

"I like smelling like you," he hums against her neck, snuggling up to her.

Neverending Story is playing on the tv as her fingers trace one of his tattoos. They're both on the verge of dozing off.

"I like when you smell like me too."

°•°•°•°•°

Forged in Hellfire taglist: @pointlesslygay

[hopeandvolleyball]

they forget your birthday

w/ sugawara, oikawa, akaashi, 

an: since my birthday is coming up in two days I thought this would be a fitting post and how about i break all of your hearts with some angst

sugawara

being a teacher is not easy, you knew this. and being a teacher for a bunch of children was even harder.

suga came home every day utterly exhausted and drained from his students. especially since he has taken up coaching the middle school volleyball team

he was tired and you respected his boundaries and exhaustion although you missed him so much.

BUT

your birthday was coming up you were so excited to just have some time alone with him again

sugawara left that morning giving you nothing more than a good morning kiss. this made you frown but you dealt with it. you knew he had to rush to get ready for work, which was odd to begin with because he usually always took your birthday off but maybe he couldn’t get a substitute in time, but he didn’t even wish you a happy birthday. maybe he would text you later in the day? The hope of that gave you butterflies. 

so you decided to get all dolled up, doing your hair and makeup, putting on your favorite outfit, and looking at yourself in the mirror you felt giddy and, flat out beautiful. the end of suga’s work day was coming and you couldn’t help from bouncing with excitement. until your phone buzzed.

[sugarcube<3]: hey bug, i’m gonna be home late. sorry. 

your face fell. oh. okay. you texted him back that you understood and you loved him. a weight settled on your chest and you felt like you wanted to cry. no! no there wasn’t a reason to cry. you looked hot. texting your friend group, you wanted to see if any of them wanted to go out for food since you looked so good. one friend was busy but promised to pop by after work, and the other friend jumped into their car the moment the text was sent. the afternoon you spent with them was more than enough to make up for the shitty night ahead of you. still, even with the time spent with them, your mind raced with all the possibilities of what sugawara was going to do for your birthday. but the moment you walked in the door he still wasn’t home. you sighed and set your bag on the table and slumped into the couch. and you waited. and waited. and waited. 

until koshi walked in the door at around 9 pm. you beamed, even though he looked extremely exhausted. you jumped off the couch to hug him tightly. but to your surprise he pushed you off him. a frown etched deep into your features. 

“bub, not now,” sugawara huffed and walked past you to sit as his desk. you stared at him incredulously.

“but-” you started out and sugawara pinched his forehead.

“baby not now. i have so much work to get through,” he groaned. you couldn’t believe this. and then it dawned on you. he forgot. he forgot your birthday.

“baby it-”

“can’t you leave me alone when i ask?” sugawara snapped, looking at you with an intensity in his eyes. you wanted to cry, but you didn’t. instead you stared at him with wide eyes and opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. 

“fine.” you squeaked and went to your room and slammed the door. suga sighed and pinched his forehead and went back to his work. time went on and there was a knock at your door. with tired limbs sugawara stood to answer the door, surprised to see your friend there with a bouquet of flowers. 

“uh, hey?” sugawara greeted with a tilted head. your friend beamed and looked around. 

“is y/n awake? she wanted to hang out earlier but i was busy. i feel shitty that i missed her birthday so i got her these to make up for it.” your friends smile was so bright, but suga’s dark face balanced it out at the word birthday. no. no no no no. today couldn’t be? it. it didn’t. fuck. it was your birthday and he missed it. swallowing back the guilt sugawara grabbed the flowers. 

“actually she just went in for the night, but i’ll give her these in the morning, okay?” your friend nodded vigorously while suga’s brain rattled for ideas on how to make it up to you. sighing, he realized that he wasn’t gonna get any sleep this night.

you awoke the next morning with red cheeks and puffy eyes, remembering the night before. you couldn’t believe your birthday had been ruined so badly by the one you love. the smell of breakfast wafted through your nose and you blinked. huh? stumbling out of bed you walked into the kitchen of yours and sugawara’s shared apartment. you were shocked with the apartment covered in decorations, balloons and streamers. you couldn’t help but smile. what the hell was koshi up to? he walked up to you, wearing an apron and with a spatula in hand. 

“good morning bubba!” sugawara beamed and pulled you into a hug. you wanted to be so happy with that was transpiring here but you still remembered the argument that happened last night, how cold koshi was with his words. so you didn’t hug back. “lovebug i’m so sorry i forgot your birthday and i’m even more sorry for how i treated you last night. you deserve so much better and i know that might not be me but i want to try. i-i have a whole day planned for you if you’ll have it.” you pulled away, crossing your arms under your chest. “i love you so much, please. i’m so sorry. answer me quickly or the pancakes will burn.” you couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“okay suga, i’ll forgive you. on one condition.”

“anything! i’ll do anything.”

“you make today everything i’ve ever wanted and more,” you proposed and suga beamed, dropping the spatula and picking you up. he spun you around and pulled you in for a hundred kisses. you giggled and tried to wiggle out of his arms.

“of course! of course, that i can do, my love.” sugawara giggled and so did you. 

“suga the pancakes.” you reminded.

“FUCK.”

oikawa

he was always so careful. he has 10000 reminders on his phone for everything so you never dreamed oikawa would ever forget your birthday

your birthday of all days. 

and yet the entire day passed with nothing. no grand oikawa gesture nothing.

not even a ‘happy birthday i love you’ text. 

so yes. you were fuming when you got the text he was spending extra time practicing today.

and his thick skull didn’t get it.

“i don’t understand why you’re so mad at me,” oikawa scoffed as you stood in the doorway preventing him from taking a shower. your arms are crossed and you stare at your boyfriend incredulously.

“you’re joking, right?” you ask with a scoff and oikawa rolls his chocolate eyes.

“i’m serious, y/n. you knew exactly what you were getting into by being with me at this time! i can’t drop everything to be with you 24/7 and you know this,” oikawa snapped, lip curling into a slight snarl. 

“of course i did and i haven’t complained once, have i? i just want one, one, day alone with my boyfriend is that too much to ask of?” you barked, throwing your hands up in anger before they balled into fists at your side. you felt your face burning with an anger you haven’t felt before. “i dropped everything to come to argentina for you, tooru. once, just once i want you to be there for me!”

“first of all i didn’t ask you to come with me here you chose to do that. second i’m not putting my dreams on hold for you. you don’t understand how hard i have to work y/n!” oikawa growled, trying not to fiddle with his fingers. was he serious? was he genuinely serious about this?

“fuck you tooru. i came because i love you. guess that isn’t reciprocated. happy fucking birthday to me.” you rolled your eyes and pushed past oikawa. he should have been relieved but the moment the birthday bomb was dropped he froze and paled. oh no. oh no oh no oh no. he turned around and grabbed your wrist as you tried to walk away. “get off me oikawa.”

“baby i’m sorry please let me-” you tried to pull away from his grip but he was so much stronger than you. the longer he held your wrist the more you wanted to sob violently. “let me apologize i can’t believe i forgot your birthday and got in a silly argument with you. i’m so sorry my love please.” your silence spoke volumes. “i love you?” he tried again but you were still so quiet. he didn’t want to let you go but he did. he dropped your hand and you walked into your shared bedroom and sobbed into the pillow the moment you collapsed onto the bed. you can’t remember falling asleep but you did. you were woken up later by oikawa who was gently poking your shoulder. groggy, you rubbed your eyes and focused on your boyfriend who had flowers, teddy bears, and a goofy smile.

“you forgive me now?” he asked with a slight attitude. you wanted to say ‘no get the fuck out of my room’ but you looked around to see the room totally decked out with candles, flowers, decorations. 

“when did you do this?” you asked slightly breathless. he chuckled. 

“now’s not the time for silly questions, y/n! do you like it?” he asked, hand rising to cup your cheeks and run his thumb across your cheek, puffy and red eyes broke oikawa’s heart. you softly smiled. 

“i do,” you confirmed which made oikawa beam.

“i love you so much, my dearest, darling y/n! making you cry and upset was the absolute last thing i’ve ever wanted to do. especially not on your birthday. please. can you ever forgive me?” he asked, all traces of teasing and playfulness gone from his voice. you bit your lower lip. 

“of course. i love you tooru.”

akaashi

he’s been so busy lately.

a deadline had been creeping up on him and the days got longer and harder. he wouldn’t be in bed with you until around 2 am

you begged him to take a break. just one. but he couldn’t

but he finished! the day before your birthday, too! 

and you couldn’t be more excited about it.

you woke up rather early that morning. seeing akaashi’s sleeping face next to you was the best birthday present you could have asked for. watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest was hypnotic. smiling, you brushed his raven locks out of his face so you could look at his sleeping features. eyelashes resting sweetly on the apples of rosy cheeks, mouth slightly agape as little snores fell past his lips. it’s been a while since you’ve seen him sleep this well and it made your heart flutter. usually you would have liked to been pampered on your birthday, but just this once you would make breakfast. 

you were almost done with your cooking when akaashi rose from his slumber, hair messy and still looking rather exhausted. the table was set and he looked at you with a puzzled expression at the rather extravagant meal you were preparing. 

“what is all this, my dove?” he asked, a slight rasp in his voice from having been just awoke from a deep, much needed, sleep. you beamed and giggled.

“just something special for this morning,” you sing songed, kissing akaashi’s cheek before finishing your set up and pouring him a cup of coffee, little cream and two sugars just the way he liked it. he smiled and took a sip, sleepiness wanting to over come him once more. sitting across from him at the table you couldn’t help but smile. this was your first meal, day together in months. except it was rather silent. though, it usually was like that. the nostalgia wafted over you and you smiled. breakfast was over before you knew it and akaashi leaned back in his chair with a full tummy, sleepiness starting to take over his limbs.

“wanna help me clean?” you suggested with a smile. he sighed and stood up.

“i suppose so.” keiji sighed and helped you clean in silence. you puffed your cheeks in a frown. 

“i was thinking, tonight we could go out and see that new movie and get some dinner? does that sound fun?” your smile was bright, almost too bright for akaashi, who winced a little. 

“honey i’m so tired, i’d rather not go and do anything today,” he admitted, drying the dishes. you frowned deeply.

“but, ‘kaashi, I thought it would be fun to do something together. it’s been so long...” you suddenly felt meek as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“pumpkin we can do something another time,” akaashi sighed. “i really need to get some more sleep.” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and went back into the room. did he seriously forget? as you watched his figure disappear the dam broke and tears fell. you lay on the couch and took a deep breath.

akaashi woke up again with a phone call. groaning he looked at the caller id to see it was bokuto. he answered. “what bokuto-san?”

“hey hey hey!” his enthusiasm was even more upsetting over the call. he just wanted some sleep. “did y/n get the gift i sent for their birthday? i was hoping it would arrive on the actual day so i’m really hoping it is here now!” akaashi’s heart stopped. birthday? was it today? he usually remembered why didn’t he remember.

“i’m not sure we haven’t checked the mail today,” akaashi gulped, a slight crack in his voice.

“damn it,” bokuto whined. “okay well. any special plans for them today?” bokuto asked with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows that akaashi could feel over the phone. 

“a few,” he lied, brushing through his hair with his fingers working up the courage to go out and face you again. “and i have to go to enact them so i’ll speak to you later bokuto-san.” akaashi breathed and hung up the phone. he walked into the living room with pensive steps to see you laying on the couch, asleep, with a tear stained face. he knelt next to the couch and started rubbing your side to try and wake you up. “pumpkin? babygirl? dove... wake up.” his voice penetrated your dream so you awoke, rubbing your eyes.

“what is it, keiji.” you asked with a bite.

“go get ready i’m taking you out.” akaashi demanded.

“but i thought you were tired?” you asked with a roll of your eyes.

“i am. but it is your birthday. so whatever my dove wants is what we’ll do,” he pulled you into his arms as you sat up. smiling you sobbed into his chest. 

“i thought you forgot.” you admitted through tears.

“i could never.” that was extremely close, akaashi keiji. never make this mistake again.

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

[dreamties]

Slashers W/ a Soft Pastel S/O

A/n - So this one actually wasn’t requested, I just thought it would be super cute. And what I mean by “Soft Pastel”, I mean being into soft/pastel/kawaii fashion, I just didn’t know how to phrase it. Since there’s so many subcultures.

Trigger Warning: Slight Cursing (I say f*ck)

Also- these are gender neutral, but a few describe you in skirts/dresses, so if you’re not comfy with that, just skip that part or the whole thing?? :/

I might do more like this for other types of alternative fashion- like punk or something? Or a S/O who has a lot of body mods, I think it would be fun.

Characters: Billy/Stu, The Lost Boys, Helen Lyle, Daniel Robitaille/Candyman, Brahms Heelshire, and Amanda Young.

I didn’t add Michael Myers, but can do so if y’all want it. I just think he’d be very indifferent about it...didn’t think that would be very fun to read.

Billy Loomis + Stu Macher

Stu would be the most like into your outfits

Billy? Not so much. he just thinks you look cute in everything.

but if you did more guro-kawaii looks? they would both be all over that shit. 

it combines more of the grotesque in with the cute- which is just perfect for the boys. they get to see you dawned in all sorts of blood, guts/gore, bandage patterns/aesthetics.

and maybe even tying in different monster-ish elements. 

like wearing funky white or other unnatural colored contacts, really intense makeup(especially around the eyes), and fuck it, maybe you’re wearing faux demon horns.

I think they’d find it kinda hot. if we’re being perfectly honest here.

Now- would you able to get them into it as well?

Stu will ask you, with excitement reverberating throughout out his body and his voice. of course he want’s to at least try it!

so many clips in Stu’s hair. you haven’t even had that many in your hair before!

he may also wear rings sometimes. he thinks all the colors and designs are just so fun!

and on the other hand...

Billy, the guy that basically wore the same outfit for an entire movie? who’s closet only contains jeans and white t-shirts? trying out your style? i don’t think so lol

if you do- somehow- get him to try...

then you might have pressured him into it a bit? very jokingly, of course. 

“C’mon, humor me, babe. Stu’s already dressed and everything!” You try giving him puppy eyes to seal the deal.

“Fine!” Billy says, grabbing the garment and a few clips from your hands. He shuts the door too harshly behind him.

A short silence is shared, before you and Stu burst out laughing. “Do you think he’s mad at us?” You’re hardly able to get it out. Of course he was, but in his own odd way appreciated this adventure.

He comes back a moment later, his white t-shirt replaced with a pastel red one, an especially gory character printed on the front. and a red clip barely hanging on to one of the side pieces of hair in front of his face. You try to suppress a giggle at Billy’s messily put together look.

for the love of gosh- don’t actually laugh when he appears. he is very outside of his comfort zone, and he’s only doing this because he loves you and Stu, and just,, don’t add this to his list of reasons not to try new things.

whatever your reaction ends up being, you’re absolutely obligated to tell them how attractive they look in it(even Billy who looks hella dorky).

(my art)

The Lost Boys

the comparison between their dark, punk-ish style and then the sweet baby pinks and blues, and soft lavenders that adorned your form?? 

it’s just too sweet.

they are completely enamored by your style- even if certain vampires (and I’m not naming any names, but I definitely mean David) may not show his love for your look as openly

Marko- he’d get one cutesy patch for his jacket, so he has like a little piece of you everywhere he goes. also...he genuinely ended up really digging your style? but not enough to abandon his punk look completely. he is still totally dedicated to that.

the other boys will absolutely mess with him about the patch though

all in good fun!

David’s not letting you near his hair with any extra clips or accessories. 

Dwayne enjoys the quiet intimacy shared between the two of you. just sitting together, you might be styling his hair( super loose ponytail or braid- admit it, it would be so cute! and helpful so his hair isn’t always in his face!)...anyways, you’d use a colorful hair tie, and a few clips to help pin back his hair. 

he probably won’t go out with the clips in, but if it’s just the five of you at the cave? he’ll keep it in until it’s time to sleep. 

he loves seeing how happy and accomplished you look after finishing with his hair tho.

Paul is hands down the most likely to get into the whole look and go out in public with it on. 

makeup? hell yeah. it won’t be as intense as yours, and he probably only does the eyes and maybe some shine. sparkly vampire time

hair accessories? all of them

would try combining his look with yours, to have a perfect mess of it.

a light, light  blue mesh top, slightly darker blue jacket(with slight accents in pink, purple, white or black), and his usual sort of white jeans(?) would still look great with it. he’s absolutely rocking that look.

you are ecstatic to finally have someone else to share your passion with! (much harder to find similar folks when you’re a vampire,,)

Helen Lyle

she’s so used to the plain life around her, and she’d been living before you- you were such a breath of fresh air.

of course, you’re darling personality also drew her into you- but your fashion sense? it fascinated her.

she’s not trying it herself anytime soon, but she appreciates the fact that you enjoy it. 

the most she would ever try is a very natural makeup look. and a coat or two of a pastel color of her choice.

she would love watching you get ready. not so much help out though- she just likes seeing the way you approach things. how you choose to pair certain pieces with one another.

she’ll ask questions to better understand your interests! not that it’s weird or wrong that you’re into it, she’s just a very inquisitive person.

you’d wear a lot of blue though- because you know Helen likes that color.

imagine wearing coordinated looks for different events and such. so, when you go with Helen to help out with her Candyman thesis, you might wear candy-themed attire. (of course in this universe,, she wouldn’t die! so no worries of that! you get to keep you’re gf).

if you do gift her something, she keeps it on her bedside table(or dresser). so she can still admire it, and still serves a purpose. fun décor!

all around though- Helen would be very chill, but captivated, about you’re interests.

Daniel Robitaille - Candyman

 his life is so dark and gruesome, and he loves seeing you all dressed up. 

and while he’s dead- long dead- and isn’t really apart of the world in the same sense that you are- it gives him this happy sense of hope for the world.

because there’s this very small thing, that you hold close to your heart, that makes you smile.

Also!!

even if they’re apart of a super awful, traumatic, part of his past- the bees are just a part of the family now.  

so cute yellow/spring/bee themed outfits?? yes. ohh definitely, yes.

As for him dressing up? He’d feel hesitant.

he’s filled with immense joy around you, but is almost scared with someone altering part of his attire or self in any way(rooted back to, again, past stuff).

but part of loving is to take the person as a whole, bad parts, good parts- insecurities- the entire package. and trusting one another.

he has his whole faith in you not to do anything bad.

and so, it becomes a habit for the two of you to spend mornings together, chatting and getting ready. well, you’re getting ready, it’s more for the quality time together for him.

things are little different for Daniel. for many reasons. 

one, he has very short hair. so the clips don’t really work there..

two- he only has one hand, and he’s “working” a lot with the appendages he does have. rings won’t work out because they might fall off- and he’d hate to lose something of yours.

three- he’s not a big makeup fan. he’s happy enough watching you put it on.

and then for his actual attire- he needs the coat to cover his insides. it’s also, in a way, his uniform.

you’ve settled on two things.

making homemade necklaces that can easily hide under his big coat (either sweets or honey/bee themed).

and sewing little patterns on the inside of his coat. other’s wouldn’t be able to see it, but he would know it’s there.

Brahms Heelshire

imagine being super into sorta ‘sweet lolita’, pastel/soft colors, bows, the big skirts, all the sorta ruffles(?)

 and then especially if your shorter than Brahms(which is really,, not hard to do unless you’re insanely tall cause he’s,, 6 foot 3.)- and he thinks you look like such a doll? 

but like,, in a nice way. 

I think he’d get pretty excited if he got to help you set up your outfits!

especially if you praised him for picking out a good combo, or organizing correctly.

and some of Brahms movements are a bit awkward, he’s spent most of his life in the walls and the attic...but imagine turning on his music, and just dancing with him. having him twirl you in his arms a few times.

Brahms loves having your hands through his hair. and if hair accessories means he gets more of that love and attention? then yes,, yes he will wear them.

he just likes feeling taken care of, and along with your usual duties, you help him figure out the soft fashion styles, and how to make it more appealing and suitable for his own tastes.

because- as you insist- you want it to be something he enjoys just because he does, and not just for the closeness. though you can’t deny you love that aspect, too.

i can tell you one thing right here, though. you’re never getting makeup on him. he does not like taking off his mask, even if you’ve been in a relationship with him for a while, he still hides his face a lot.

you’d offered to do his makeup once, since he was staring so intently as you did yours. you’d made the mistake of reaching for his mask. you’d usually ask before doing so, but sometimes you’d slip up.

You apologize profusely, offering your arms out to him for a hug. “There, there, Brahms.” You smile, giving him a slight squeeze of affection. 

he does take your stuff sometimes. 

it’s a little annoying when you think you’ve lost your favorite accessory or dress or etc and then you just realize,, oh, it’s my favorite wall boy again. thank gosh you love him, so you’re not really upset or anything.

he just likes having little reminders of you, it gives him reassurance. upon other warm and fuzzy feelings.

if you’re able to find time in your day though, you’ll make cute little trinkets or bracelets for him. you’ll gift them or purposely leave them out for him-  so you’ll still have some of your stuff when it comes to getting ready the next day.

in short- he’d much rather look at you than partake on his own. 

Amanda Young

she’s never seen anything like this! :0

everyone she knows, herself included, tend to wear more dulled, plain clothes.

she’s immediately very intrigued by your attire...sort of want’s to try it, but is a bit self conscious and embarrassed to ask.

So!! you start out with small things, and fairly early on you both realize that she loves when you decorate her hair with accessories. 

gifting Amanda a pair of little pig clips!!

or little stud earrings- those would be fricking adorable on her!

and she’s just so happy,, wtf

you dress mostly for yourself, but the more you’re in a relationship with your gf- the more you want to dress for her as well. 

you can see this little sparkle in her eye when she sees you, and you want to keep seeing that look for as long as you can.

you slowly get her into it. your relationship and Amanda’s interest in your style just gives her so much light in an otherwise dim world.

if she did get into it, I think she’d do more creepy/cute. as a way to sort of cope with past trauma. that this sort of “bad” thing (the creepy) can still coexist with the good (the cute). she admires that quality.

just very sweet partners, who happen to love similar types of fashion 

[rainydaysofspring]

“Why are you lying to me?” - Part 2

Hi again! Here's part 2 to "Why are you lying to me?" !

Link to Part 1:  “Why are you lying to me?”

Oh, and there's a Naveen Cameo, even though it’s short, I miss him in OH3.

Words: 1.931

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsyex x Dr. Liliana Summers (OC)

Warnings: Death, Crying, Nightmares. If I forgot any, feel free to reach out!

Tag-List:  @ethandaddyramseyx @maurine07 @openheartfanfics

The following days, Ethan and Liliana spent at home, at his apartment. Ethan was concerned, to say the least. Lili barely ate. She slept only short amounts of time and sat at one spot for most of the day: The floor, near the huge windows in the living room. Her gaze was distant, not directed to anything particular. Liliana just let her eyes wander over the city so alive below her.

That night, Ethan woke up at 3 in the morning. When he reached beside him, he only felt cold bedsheets. Ethan looked up and saw the Liliana never came to bed. Her blanket was neatly folded. Ethan got out of bed, walking out of the bedroom, through the hallway, into the living area. Everything was dark and quiet. He continued to walk through the apartment, where another hallway led to more rooms. His office, the bathroom, the guest room, that was barely used.A dim light shone through a gap between the door and the wall of the bathroom. Ethan lightly knocked. "Lili, are you okay in there?" He then heard Liliana clearing her throat. "Um yeah, sure. I'm okay." Ethan didn't believe her. His guts told him something was wrong. And so far, his guts rarely failed him.

Can I come in?" "If you want to." Liliana's voice sounded monotone to him. He entered the bathroom, and his eyes scanned the room. There she was, sitting in the shower cabin, without having the shower turned on. "What's going on, Lili?" Ethan kneeled in front of his girlfriend, not sure if she tolerated his touch. "Why aren't you in bed?"" Liliana sniffled and let her head fall back to hit the wall.

"It's too soft." She watched as Ethan's brows furrowed in confusion. "I can't explain it. It's just too soft. Too comfortable. ""But you have to sleep." Ethan was concerned about her health. "I know. It's just that every time I close my eyes, I am seeing his face, and if I fall asleep, my dreams eventually turn into nightmares." Liliana's voice was hoarse from all the crying she had done.

Now, she was just staring at Ethan's eyes as he sat across her. "What are you doing?" she asked. "If you're not going to sleep, I'm not going to sleep either." With scorn Liliana let her head fall back. "You should go back to bed. Just because I feel like shit doesn't mean you have to."Liliana hoped that would convince him, but Ethan was stubborn. "So you're not okay," Ethan said quietly. Tears came up in Liliana's Eyes again, but she didn't want to cry again. The woman was sick of crying. After taking a few deep breaths, she looked Ethan in the eyes again.

"Of course I'm not okay, Ethan. My brother is dead. I'll go to his funeral in a few days. He is going to be six feet under the earth, buried..." She didn't come further, as her voice broke again, and sobs made her shoulders move up and down. Ethan quickly sat next to his girlfriend, hugging her close. He took her head and propped it against his chest, kissing it and holding her close. His girlfriend just hugged one of his arms, tights, as if it was her lifeline.After some time, Liliana just mumbled: "I just want to scream."

Ethan heard her, even though her voice was so quiet, and said back: "Then scream. Scream as loud as you want." "I can't. It's three in the night, and I'll wake up the neighbors." Ethan cupped Liliana's Face with his hands, forcing her to look at him. "Lili, you are grieving. It's okay to wake up the neighbors. It's okay." Liliana just shook her head, resorting to crying. Ethan held her as long as she wanted him to be there with her.

After a few more days, Liliana had come out of her state a millimeter more. She showered again, now opting for a place on the sofa or bed to spent the day on, eating a little more. His girlfriend still was crying a lot, sleeping little, and barely speaking. Ethan gave her the time she needed. He knew no rush would make it better. On the other hand, his girlfriend didn't get out of his apartment since they went home together the day it happened. She still told him she wanted to scream it all out but couldn't.

So, he had an idea. He knew Naveen had a cabin outside of the city, in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he could convince her to go there with him. Perhaps it would help. He called his mentor, waiting for him to answer his phone. "Ethan? I'm surprised to hear from you. I thought you were home with Liliana?" Ethan was glad he picked up. "Yes, I am. I need a favor. She said she wants to scream but can't. I don't know why exactly she can't, but maybe she doesn't want to disturb anyone in the house. At least, that's what she said last night. I thought of that cabin you own. Maybe we could go there..."

Naveen cut him off at that point. "Good thinking, maybe it'll help her. You know where I hide the spare keys. You can take as long as you need."They talked for a while before Naveen had to hang up, and Ethan planned everything. He walked into the bathroom and took Liliana's favorite shampoo, conditioner, and shower gel, putting it in the shower. Ethan then convinced her to actually take a shower. While he got himself ready, he thought about the best way to approach the next step: Getting her out of his apartment, into the car, and to Naveen's Cabin, located by a beautiful lake, with access to the water.

Liliana enjoyed her shower, taking her time and savoring the peaceful moment. When she stepped out of the shower, she looked at herself in the mirror, noticing her red, puffy eyes. Her eyes wandered over her face before she grabbed some of her makeup. Maybe looking a bit prettier and hiding the dark circles under her eyes would make her feel better somehow. Liliana put on a bit of concealer just to make her look less worn out. She then grabbed the hairdryer and made her hair look more like hers and less than Hagrids. No offense to Hagrid, but she still liked her natural waves better than the eagle's nest that she had created over the last days.

Liliana stepped out of the bathroom, walking across the hall and living area to the room she had spent several days in. Ethans Bedroom. On her side of the bed, Ethan had placed a black pair of leggings, a cardigan, and one of his plain, white shirts. "I thought you wouldn't like to wear jeans now, so I just took those. Are you up for a little trip?" At first, his voice startled her a bit, Liliana didn't hear him coming in. "Ethan, I don't know. Where to?" A smirk played around his lips. "A surprise. You'll like it there." Liliana sat down on the bed, contemplating going with him in her mind. Even though her motivation left her as soon as Ethan found her that day, she didn't know how she could say no to him.

The look in his eyes was hopeful for the first time in a few days. So, she got dressed at her own pace, but eventually, she stood in the living area, fully clothed.They both went downstairs and got in his Sedan, driving out of Boston. They left the busy streets behind them, skyscrapers turning into an open landscape. Soon enough, they rolled up to the Cottage.

Much to Ethan's surprise, another car was parked in front of the cabin, and he quickly realized that it was Naveen. He must have gotten there to check everything, he guessed. Liliana perked up from the passenger seat as the car came to a stop. She looked around and took in her surroundings. "Where are we?" she asked. Ethan pointed to the cabin, a few meters down the way.

"It's Naveens Cabin. He gave it to us, as long as we need it. You said you needed to scream but couldn't. If you want to scream here, just scream. There's not a single soul out here. Just the two of us." Liliana got out of the car and took in her surroundings. The air was cleaner as it was in the city. She heard birds chirping and felt a soft breeze blowing through her hair. It made her feel one thing, she didn't feel a lot in the last weeks. She felt alive.Liliana looked down the way as a familiar man walked up the path. Ethan and Liliana walked up to the gates, meeting the older doctor there. Liliana forced a smile when Naveen gently laid a hand on her shoulder as they talked for a bit. Naveen asked how she was feeling and if she was doing any better. "Thanks, Naveen, for letting us stay here," Ethan said as Liliana walked further down the path towards the lake. "Don't mention it, Ethan. I hope it helps Liliana." Ethan nodded while saying. "Me too, Naveen. She hasn't been herself since it happened. Most of the time, she's just staring at nothing in particular- She seems lost. Like she doesn't know how to be alive now, that her brother is gone. "

Naveen listened. He knew what his protegee was feeling for the young doctor. He knew, even before Ethan finally broke his facade. Naveen usually liked seeing him like this, caring for another human being that wasn't a patient. "She will be herself again. Maybe some time here will help. I have to get going now. The hospital waits for me." Ethan said goodbye to his mentor, walking closer to Liliana.

She was standing near the water, observing the lake and the forest behind it. The cardigan she wore was wrapped tightly around her body. Ethan wrapped his arms around Liliana, engulfing her in a big hug. "Good surprise?" Liliana took his Arms and mumbled in agreement. They spent the day mostly sitting on the front porch. Ethan went inside from time to time, mostly to cook or to make Liliana a new cup of tea.

They sat there together, observing the nature evolving around them. At dawn, they experienced a beautiful sunset before it slowly got dark. Liliana sat there, a blanket over her legs, taking in everything around her. She stood up, feeling like she needed to do something she wanted to do for days. While walking down the path towards the water, Ethan got up behind her. He was wondering what she was up to. Given her straight aiming for the lake, he suspected nothing good. She walked down the path.

"Lili?" No answer. "Liliana?" Still, she didn't answer but stopped walking. She stood at the little strip of sand that divided the meadow from the lake. Her arms fell to her sides as she breathlessly looked out at the lake. Ethan stopped a few meters behind her, observing her. Her shoulders were heaving again. He assumed tears were streaming down her face again. Then suddenly, she took a deep breath in and let it out in an agonizing scream. She screamed out all the pain she felt over the last few weeks before she collapsed to her knees. Ethan quickly paced to her form, hugging her from behind. "It's okay, Lili. It's okay."

[angrylizardjacket]

mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 3

3. i thought love was a kind of emptiness

Summary: So you’re in love with him. Not great. And you wanna tell your brother about it, but that means coming clean about everything, and you’re not gonna do that! So you’re just gonna suffer, because it’s for the greater good. And you’re not gonna make things weird. Speaking of weird though, how is this even going to end? Colson sounds kind of like a masochist when he talks about it, but there must be a way to make neither of you seem like the bad guy... When this all ends. Which it will, much to your chagrin.

A/N: watch me have no idea about american geography

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @kellysimagines @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit

----

For the record, and if anyone asks, when Colson sends you a photo of himself in full Tommy Lee makeup, your heart definitely doesn’t skip a beat. The long wig, the sharp contouring, the eyeliner, it does absolutely nothing for you. You definitely don’t spend a good five minutes contemplating how much you want his lipstick to stain your mouth. Because he’s not your real boyfriend. You’re doing this to minimize the amount of nasty messages you get online. The fact that he’s hot and funny and surprisingly kind and weirdly observant, and god, have you already said hot? Because he tends to walk around your shared hotel room in shorts and little else and it’s really not doing great things for your productivity. 

The point is, all those things are a bonus! A happy little accident, if you will, a positive side-effect of this whole arrangement. Like getting a job and realising that you’ll be working with your brother, who currently is quickly becoming very, very close with your fake boyfriend.

There’s no-one you trust more in the whole world than Douglas, but if you tell him that your relationship is fake, you’ll have to tell him why you’re in a fake relationship, and he’s not above starting an online rampage against people sending his little sister death threats. Which, by the way, you’re not getting a lot of since dating Colson, honestly you might even be getting less than before, so it’s working.

Your absolutely fake relationship with Colson Baker, whom you have no feelings for whatsoever is functioning exactly as intended. 

Except for the fact that when you’re on set, and you see him in costume, smiling, it kind of makes your day. Watching him play drums? He just looks like he’s having so much fun, and you can’t help but be endeared by it! This was outlined as low commitment, high reward, and now your feelings are ruining it for everybody. Well, just for you. Because it’s just a small crush, and he’s your friend, so you’re not going to make it weird.

Which, right now, it isn’t. He hogs the blankets, which you pretend you’re annoyed by, and sets about fifteen different alarms for himself that have you waking up at the crack of dawn so that he can go in early to get his tattoos covered, even though you don’t need to be there until much later than he is. So you grumble into the blankets, and when you get to set there’s always a hot drink waiting for you. 

He’s out most nights, not late enough that he’d need to oversleep to be functioning the next morning, but it’s not uncommon for you to be curled up on your side of the bed, usually scrolling through social media, and he’ll come in, sometimes humming something, sometimes chattering away on the phone. Sometimes he’ll shower, but he always smokes, watching the stars, right before he comes to bed.

Or you’ll join him. 

On the weekends, you’ll grab dinner together after filming, and he’s in his eyeliner, the foundation sometimes a little worse for wear, and you’ll explore the nightlife that LA has to offer, seeing live bands, or going to clubs. Of course, as a famous musician, DJs will pull Colson up into their booth, to play a song or two, and you, without fail, always managed to feel out of place. So you hang back, maybe have a dance, or maybe get a drink, or even just people-watch. You enjoy it, but you enjoy going back to the hotel more.

Tabloids, or the modern equivalent at least, get familiar with your name, and it’s not long before your image starts to change.

About six minutes into a twenty minute ‘tea spilling’ video, the host says your name.

“Now, [Y/N] Booth, DuckDuckBooth, whatever you know her as, has been all over the mainstream media lately because - shock horror - she’s in a relationship with someone with a bad reputation! Because that’s what we love here, ladies and gents; rumours and slander,” the host, a young woman with bleach blonde hair and a thick English accent rolls her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her tongue, “so a bit of a run-down for those who don’t know, [Y/N] is a lifestyle and, I don’t know, entertainment industry insider - YouTuber? She makes videos on what it’s like to work all different jobs in the industry. And her brother’s famous? I think?” She looks to a point off-screen, presumably where her laptop was sitting, letting her look him up. “He was in Jupiter Ascending, he was the weird prince-dude; Douglas Booth, and he was in a bunch of stuff that was only really released in the UK.” 

It cuts to a new shot of the host tucking her hair behind her ears.

“So [Y/N] recently started dating Machine- MG- uh, I don’t know how to say it, it sounds wrong coming from me; Machine Gun Kelly? He’s a rapper I think? He’s been in a few shows on like, streaming services? I don’t know, I don’t know him that well, but apparently he’s one for scandal - allegedly.” She emphasises, before taking a deep breath, “and now he and [Y/N] are working on the same project, and have started dating, like two adults who like each other might start doing!” It’s condescending, as if directly responding to some less than polite criticisms she’s seen online, but she shrugs it off flippantly.

“Anyways, I’ve been following [Y/N] for a while, I’ve seen her recent uploads and Instagram stories and such; they’re cute, okay? I don’t personally enjoy his music, but that’s just my tastes, you know? And I don’t understand all the negativity she’s suddenly receiving; you all know she’s an adult, right? Like not just in the UK, she’s over 21, she’s allowed to go out and drink, and be a human being. It’s not like she’s suddenly become a different person; just because she’s not acting in the way your overly-sanitized view of her should, doesn’t mean she’s a different person, or that she’s corrupted or whatever. She’s not a bad person for enjoying herself.”

“Everyone speculating about whether it’s fake or not, like they have nothing in common, well it’s almost like you don’t know them personally; if it’s fake, who even cares, that’s -” she laughs a little, “that’s Hollywood, isn’t it? I think the people hating on her, or on him, or wanting them to admit it’s fake or just break up, are jealous, honestly, because even if it’s fake, it’s a hell of a commitment.”

“Do you ever worry?” You can’t help but ask, it’s late, much later than you know you should be up, but he’s awake too, yawning, looking at his phone. Both of you tucked up in bed, he takes a moment before looking at you. There’s something about the shadow of eyeliner he hadn’t quite been able to remove that just makes him look edgy and gorgeous.

“I try not to,” he answers candidly, “but about what?”

“About people finding out about us.”

“Usually,” he cracks a half smile, “when a girl asks me that, it’s about people finding out that we are together,” and he’s smiling, but you just frown in the dark, unable to appreciate the humour. 

“What’ll they say? Of course you’ll be fine, but I-” you swallow, shaking your head, “sorry, asshole thing to say; of course I care about what they say about you, just as much me, but -”

“But you’ve got a lot further to fall than I do,” he says with a surprising honesty, and you meet his gaze in the glow of his screen light, “honestly I have no idea how this is gonna end, I thought you did.” And you feel your stomach drop. 

How were you supposed to respond to this?! There is absolutely no way you can say what you’re thinking, that you don’t want this to end because you’ve started to catch real feelings. 

“I’m winging it,” you admit softly. Something about his expression softens, but his screen goes dark before you can see it, “I know you’re a good person but-”

“Then you don’t know me that well, Ducky,” he laughs a little, though the sound is hollow, and you can hear him rustling around as he looks up at the ceiling in the dark, “kid, you don’t know me at all -”

“Don’t call me kid,” you bristle, quietly defiant, but he just seems to ignore you.

“I know I’m a bad dude, okay? And if you want this whole thing to end with everyone thinking I’ve broken your heart, then do it, I’ve been through worse. I’ve done worse; if you wanna just worry about yourself, you can.” 

“So it’s black and white; I’m red riding hood and you’re the big bad wolf? That’s how we end this?”

“You think in fairy tale analogies,” he huffs an almost disbelieving laugh, “I’m just saying that if you didn’t have to be with me, you wouldn’t be; you wanted scandalous but not a scandal, I get it, okay? I’m good at that; good at both, actually, but I guess you’re cute enough that you can pick one and not the other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You snap, feeling angry, almost betrayed by his callous words. In the dark, you can make out the shape of his silhouette against the stars.

“You’re all clean and shiny and shit, you’ve got a philanthropist big brother, and a life in the entertainment industry without the actual pressure of being an actor, and yeah, YouTube is hard, I get that, now more than anything else, watching you ‘s definitely given me a new appreciation for the effort that goes in, but -”

“But what? It’s not a real job?”

That shuts him up fast. 

Fuming in the dark, you clamber from the bed, and head onto the balcony, slamming the door behind you. The night air is cool and crisp against the warm anger bubbling just beneath your skin, and you take a few deep breaths. Why you’re out here, you’re not sure; you should have gone down the hall and stayed with Douglas, but here you were, cooling off on the balcony. 

You’re in his seat, the seat he always sits in to smoke before bed, and it feels strange, but you’re not going to give up the seat, even as he opens the door. He doesn’t look at you, instead, he leans against the railing, looking out at the ocean glittering with stars.

“I wasn’t -” he starts, before sighing, “fuck, I know it’s a real job, okay?”

But he’s met with silence.

“I was gonna say - fuck, there’s like, a quote thing someone once told me, I think it was Shakespeare or some shit - there’s more things in Heaven and Earth, you know, than are dreamed in your philosophy.” He paused, “I’m dealing with more than just your shit, you know? Every fuckin’ person wants to hate me right now; your shit is small fish, Ducky. If you’re not getting hate, then it’s worth it, okay? And after all of this, I’ll still be averaging the same amount of hate as I always get, not that I give a shit. It’s pebble in a stream stuff.” When again, he’s met with silence, he sighs gently, hanging his head, before heading back inside, though he doesn’t close the door.

On your own, for only a moment, you feel your insides twisting, frustrated at overreacting, heart warming at his words, just a little. 

“Pebble in a stream stuff?” You ask quietly, when he joins you once more, this time with a joint and his lighter.

“Immutable,” he says, voice flat as he focuses on lighting up, before taking a long drag. After a moment of holding the smoke in his lungs, he breathes out, watching it as he speaks, “like a river, if you throw a pebble in, it creates a ripple, but the current always corrects itself. No matter what you do, the river just keeps flowing in the same direction.” 

“Deep,” you muse.

“It’s from X-Men,” he responded, and there’s a beat, before the two of you break out into laughter at the absurdity of it all, of his philosophical ramblings being ripped from a comic book movie, of the idea of the two of you ever getting into this situation in the first place.

When the laughter dies down, you find yourself smiling at him, watching him while his grin is turned up to the stars.

“You say I don’t know you, even though we’ve been doing this for almost a month and a half now; I wanna know you,” you tell him as genuinely as you can manage in your tired state, and he turns to you with an unreadable expression, and you catch yourself before you act on the fluttering in your chest, “to make it more believable.” You add, and he nods, and his gaze goes back to the sky; if it was a little disappointed, you try not to think about it too hard, “so you don’t like cutesy dates like fairs, what do you like?”

Licking his lips as he thinks, he finally turns to you, eyebrow raised.

“Honestly?”

Why does his gaze right now make your pulse race?

“Honestly.” You dare not break his gaze.

“I like going to clubs with you, to see bands and shit,” he tells you, and... oh, you weren’t expecting that. There’s that soft, unreadable expression again, though he seems endeared by your genuine surprise, “but I sometimes get the feeling that you feel, uh, out of place?” He seems concerned.

“I mean, not really, it’s fun and all!” You try, but he gives a smirk.

“You don’t have to sugar coat it -”

“It’s sticky, and it feels weird with all the dudes trying to grind up on me when I’m like, meant to be with you. I always feel like someone’s about to pull out their phone, snap a photo and accuse me of cheating.” You blurt out, and Colson’s expression turned from surprised to amused.

“Stick with me then -”

“I don’t wanna be a bother; I’m not a music person, I shouldn’t be in like, a DJ booth I don’t think.”

“You’re with me, you can go wherever you want.”

The night is cool and crisp, and he’s got an early start, but the two of you sit out there, talking, laughing, actually getting to know each other. He tells you all about Cassie, about how proud he is of her, how much he misses her, and how proud she is of him in turn. You, in turn, tell him stories of yourself and Douglas from your childhood, of how he’d always been your biggest fan, and your first defender, and how you’d been to all of his premieres. At this, Colson’s eyes glaze over a little, lost in thought.

“I have no idea how this is gonna end,” he says gently, before looking to you, “but whenever you wanna call it quits, say the word.”

But you hear I’m read to cut and run at any moment, and you know it’s selfish, but it’s not what you want to hear.

“Thanks,” you respond, with a small smile instead, “same to you; don’t just stick around for my benefit,” you try to laugh, but it doesn’t quite come out right. It’s quiet after that, though it had to be said, and it’s not long before the two of you go to bed.

It’s a turning point, it’s where you start to really try to get to know each other, rather than just being around each other. Maybe it’s just hope, but it feels a little more real with each day that passes.

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve got a very special guest! And if you’ve read the title of this video, you know who it is! That’s right, my boyfriend is going to try and teach me the basics of drumming!”

The comments of the video tell you that you both look so happy, look so cute, look so in love.

“You’re a good actor,” Colson tells you, as if he believes the starry-eyed looks you give him are a carefully calculated ruse. You, on the other hand, feel like a fool only moments from being outed as being in love with your fake boyfriend, which was ridiculous; he’s the only person who needs to believe it’s a ruse after all.

Even Douglas tells you the video is good, and suddenly you’re starting to feel like an asshole for lying to him for so long.

But it’ll work out. It has to. And neither you nor Colson is gonna be the bad guy. Because he’s not, no matter what he says .

He keeps buying you hot drinks if his alarms wake you up, and he keeps you close whenever you go out, and he gives you a blanket whenever you fall asleep in his trailer during breaks, and -

“Has Duck ever told you about how she found a frog when we were little, like a live frog,” Douglas was grinning over lunch, while you were slowly becoming more embarrassed by Colson's side, your forehead pressed to his shoulder as your brother recounted one of his favourite stories, “and she named it after me, because she was always a bit of a menace, but it got free, and mum and dad almost lost their minds when she came crying about how ‘Doug was missing in the woods!’” He grinned, both fond and a bit sharp, “they only realised she was talking about the frog when I joined the search party after getting home from a friend’s house.”

You heave a sigh, but Colson gives you a gentle, reassuring pat.

“No, that’s fuckin’ adorable, but no she hadn’t told me that; but I had heard about how you made the both of you duck costumes for your school’s Halloween,” and Colson gives him a toothy grin as Douglas flushes with embarrassment, though he seems endeared by the nostalgia of it all, “primary school, was it?”

“Not Halloween, it was a book fair,” Douglas corrected, and you surfaced finally, leaning into Colson, who wrapped an arm around you, and you level a soft smile at your brother, who returns one in kind, before his gaze flicks to Colson’s, and back. A smile. A nod. A silent approval. Fuck, you hate lying to him.

But you’re not above a little white lie to the internet for some advice.

r/AmITheAsshole posted by u/idkquackythrowaway

AITA for falling for my fake boyfriend and lying to my best friend about it?

So hello, throw away account because if either of them find this, I’ll be mortified and have to run away to canada and live as a goat farmer.

So I started ““““dating”“““ my “”””boyfriend””””, let’s call him C, a few months ago, because all of our friends kept accusing us of dating, and it was easier to just go along with it than deny it - there’s a lot of extenuating circumstances here; and yes I have issues lying to my friends, but I can deal with it for the greater good. It’s better for C and me in the short-term anyways.

Anyways so my best friend, D, is someone I’ve never lied to, we’ve always been so incredibly close, but now he’s getting to be good friends with C too, and approves of the two of us, but I’m just worried he’ll be betrayed if I tell him it wasn’t real.

Also, I might have real feelings for C, which he Does Not Have for me, so I feel like I’m betraying him too, by pretending that it’s not fake. ANd I wanna tell D about this, but then I’d have to come clean about everything, which....... its a lot. 

So Am I The Asshole for catching feelings in a fake relationship, and lying to my closest friend about it?

[324 comments]

The reaction is mixed.

And mostly unhelpful.

A lot of people are calling you the asshole, which, ouch, but you had kind of already come to terms with that. A lot more people, however, are just abstaining from making judgement, considering there was definitely more to the story. You’re not sure how to deal with those comments; you want to defend yourself, or give more context, but you also know you absolutely cannot. 

Eventually you decide to come clean.

“I’m in love with Colson.”

About the wrong thing. To the wrong person.

Douglas blinks slowly at you, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

“Really?”

“Really really.” You sigh, with an air of defeat, though this has him frowning, putting his fork full of pasta down. 

“What’s wrong, did he do something?” Douglas is playing the protective older brother, just as he has done for as long as you can remember, but it’s all you can do to shake your head.

In truth, Colson’s been fucking perfect; despite his reputation, he’s a fantastic - fake - partner. Perhaps it’s that you work together, so he doesn’t have to find a distraction outside of his main focus. 

“Duckling,” Douglas says it so gentle, taking your hand over the dinner table, “I’m happy for you, as long as you’re happy.” And what can you say to that? Another lie? You feel like you’ll be ill if you let another lie pass your tongue in front of Douglas.

“I love him,” you say, weakly, and you feel your eyes misting at the implication, the reality of your words. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I-” you choke on your words, and tears start to gather, threatening to spill, “I think I love him more than he loves me.” It’s not a lie, but it’s enough for Douglas. 

“I’m sorry,” he sounds so genuine, holding your hand tight in his, finishing dinner, and taking you both back to the hotel. He does the only thing he can think of to cheer you up; put on a movie on his laptop and wrap you up in blankets like he would when you were kids. The movie’s a little outdated, but he’s trying, and that alone makes you feel a little better. 

“Hello! Hello and welcome back, ducklings! Today we’ve just got a low-effort video, it’s just a top ten comfort movies from childhood that survive a modern rewatch! As decided by me and Douglas!”

Filming is set to move locations soon, from being on-location on the Sunset Strip to a back-lot about an hour away, somehow closer to the hills, and you feel like you can hear the ticking of a clock counting down.

“When filming’s over, we can end it if you want,” you tell Colson as you’re packing up your suitcases.

“Oh,” he seems surprised.

“Oh?”

“That’s soon,” is all the clarification he gives, but he doesn’t sound happy about it, “are you sure?” 

“I mean, I don’t wanna outstay my welcome,” you try to joke, but he makes a noise that you can’t quite decipher, “what?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Just thought it would maybe go until the premiere.” He admits, and you pause, actually surprised at his words, and he clears his throat, “it would be weird seeing you there if I was with someone else, right?”

“Right,” you muse quietly, before going back to folding your clothes, “that’s a year away still, I’m pretty sure.” You tell him, and he hums, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well I’ve got a few events before then I need a date for,” he says, noncommittally, “and we’ll see each other before then; if you wanna be convincing you can crash at my place if you wanna, in The Hills, at least for a bit, if you ain’t got anything else to do sort of thing,” he actually sounds a bit hesitant, and you swallow hard, before letting yourself smile, pleased.

“I think you like having me around.” When you look at him, he’s trying to hide a smile of his own.

“'course I do.”

[teamjacobthot]

Okay I'm dying here, you have any Leah headcanons? (Please.) Also how's that fic coming along? 💛 Hope you're doing good boo

hey bby! I’m doing alright, and the Leah prequel is coming along very slowly, but it’s coming along. I think im too wrapped up in my head about making it ~perfect~ to please the fandom but im trying to get over that lmao. but it IS coming! 

and for headcanons, i honestly never deeply considered some bc I kinda projected onto Leah as a teen (as my blog title says), but here’s some off the fly! i’ll spare yall tho so i’ll add the “keep reading” thing. if you have any headcanon prompts plssssss dont hesistate to inbox me!

also these headcanons are how EYE feel she is in MY heart so yeah.....if they suck, they suck. but thats how i feel <3

her favorite color is sunflower yellow

she’s a scorpio, born in november

everyone around her knows this

in school she was an athlete of course

her favorite season is that brief lil period in washington between summer and fall, when its still sunny and not super fucking cold yet, so like.............mid september through Halloween

shes bisexual ofc

leah is stubborn as hell so when ppl give her advice that would obviously help her shes like “..........nah i’ll do my own thing” and it takes a longer time but she gets it done

shes a morning person, esp in the summertime. when shes up, shes UP

she claims to not like social media but shes got twitter fingers lmao

her instagram is full of pics of her friends and her travels, w the occasional aesthetically pleasing pic of herself. she doesnt care to be in pictures but when she is, she’ll throw up a peace sign

she can cook, but she doesn’t have the patience so she’d rather throw stuff in a crock pot and go get other shit done

horror-comedy movies are her comfort movies so she loves scream, cabin in the woods, and of course, jennifer’s body

aesthetics wise, she gives me jeans and t-shirt vibes with minimal makeup, but her hair is ALWAYS laid bc if youve seen julia jones, you would know her hair is ALWAYS laid

the pack does annoy her BUT in my headcanon they dont make fun of her or berate her for shit bc she knows they’d kill for her and she’d kill for them

paul does get on her nerves at times, but secretly, he’s her favorite (besides seth ofc)

she got a lot of her tastes from her parents and shes proud of it bc her parents are great

she likes oldies like harry did

she also likes music from female artists who can SANG bc sue would play that around the house and leah was always taking her cd’s

basically, her music taste never really got past 1999 and thats ok

she still uses cd’s

after breaking dawn, when she finally catches a break, she makes a point to travel a lot

like A LOT

i imagine she’d drive ALLLLL over the place, and whenever she goes overseas, she gets a car so she can drive around too

she wants to run away but she knows her family would miss her too much

shes a safe driver but she does have road rage, not enough to yell at somebody on the road tho but like.......scream in her car

this is a headcanon that ive seen on here but totally adopted. post bd, sometime after she stops phasing, leah goes to college and law school and eventually becomes a human rights lawyer 

she likes arguing with people anyway so why not do it for a good reason?

at some point she and rachel visit rebecca in hawaii bc they’re bffs

she goes to emily and sam’s wedding but shes not a bridesmaid bc what  the fuck is that

she still has fun though <3

[leaveharmony]

Things I’ve seen ppl who reblogged that shit RE all women who shave are willingly upholding the patriarchy & contributing to Our Oppression also criticize women for include but are not limited to: unplucked eyebrows or eyebrows not groomed to their personal aesthetic satisfaction, ‘poorly done’ nail polish, hairstyles with a centre part

I just.  Grit my teeth every time shaving discourse crosses my dash because 

1. I started to shave because of my el cheapo rainboots in seventh grade.  Idk how children’s rainboots have evolved, but at the time, I had white rubbery vinyl things that backed onto that glue-mesh stuff, and the edge of the top was just...raw, no fabric or additional strip of something softer, just a raw...awful vinyl edge w/ that grabby mesh on the inside, and they HURT.  They pulled the hair on my legs - it wasn’t a problem until it grew in, but when it did I hated wearing the fucking things until it dawned on me I could just get rid of the hair to solve the problem, which it did.  Now, I didn’t have the terms for ‘sensory issues’ at the time but that was absolutely what was going on; so I started to shave my legs for the same reason I started using nail clippers rather than biting my nails (the ragged edge would catch on fabric and it’d send my soul from my body every time it happened).  The same reason I can’t wear certain kinds of bracelets cos they catch my arm-hairs and pull them. I shave now bc I can’t stand the feeling of my legs rubbing together when they’re prickly.  No man or boy or for that matter, other girl at any point had any damned thing to do with it.

2. I remember that one post RE the reality show where the woman’s husband used his knife to help shave her legs because again, sensory issues, and everyone was like ‘Oh well that’s ok then’ as though if a woman wants to make a choice other people don’t agree with about what to do with her OWN BODY it has to be an Approved reason everyone agrees is valid

3. My sensory issues are no more valid a reason to shave than anyone else’s purely aesthetic reasons just like my disinterest in wearing makeup bc I don’t like how it feels doesn’t make me a better person or feminist than someone who does wear it, for whatever tf reason they choose to

4. Veering to the edge of my lane, I am disabled.  I was never granted the full femme privileges some ppl were born with to have the luxury of choosing to reject them.  That’s true of a lot of women.  I’d be a lot more inclined to nod along w/ a Black woman talking about using makeup to like, reclaim the experience of femininity she was never extended by society than I would be w/ some white terf arguing that she’s ignorantly buying into the idea of ~self improvements being peddled to women as a form of oppression by the patriarchy~    Think about south asian women, think about trans women.

*rubs temples*  Idk

I just get extremely tired of watching people tear each other to pieces over stupid trivial shit which ideally would be both nobody’s fucking business and accepted without the need for highlighted citations that back Their Side no matter what kind of asshole did the highlighting

[missdawnandherdusk]

Long Live

Draco X Gryffindor!Reader

Part 1    Part 2     Part 3     Part 4

Part 5     Part 6     Part 7    Part 8

Part 9    Part 10    Part 11   Part 12

Part 13

Summary: It was time to face the night and the morning. 

Archive of Our Own Link

A/n: y’all this got really cute and fluffy and I don’t know where it came from but it is so soft and precious because I feel like we all need a little break right now. So here you go, it’s soft and sweet. I love you guys so much. Always keep fighting. 

My eyes crept open to a familiar place. It was home. My home... in America. My room with en suite bathroom. I patted Draco’s shoulder and he let me down, clearly confused. My feet fell into a familiar pattern as I went to my dresser and pulled out an oversized t-shirt and fleece pants. Blinking, I pulled out another set and tossed them to Draco, who was still baffled.

Trudging to the bathroom, my makeup came off, and my hair was brushed, my dress discarded. In comfortable clothes, I headed back to Draco, whose wardrobe matched mine.

“Where are we?” He asked as I sat on the bed, rearranging the pillows into a well-known configuration. “What is this place?”

“My room. Back home,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. “Where did it come from?”

“I don’t know... a door just opened and here it was,” Draco sat beside me.

Laying my head on his shoulder I let my eyes slip closed again. His arm curled around me. 

“What a night,” I whispered.

He chuckled.

“I think that’s a bit of an understatement, darling,”

I hummed in agreement and curled up under the covers, taking a deep breath, the scent of home encasing me in comfort. The bed dipped beside me as Draco laid beside me. I rotated, until I was able to lay my head on his chest, my arm draped over him. I felt safer there than I ever had before in my life.

“Night Dray,” I slurred out.

“Goodnight love,” He whispered back. “I love you,” “I love you too,”

My dreams were odd, fading in and out. Nothing that was too concrete or worrisome. It was peaceful: my mother’s arms wrapped around me, Christmas’ past that held magic on their own,

beach days and the summer sun that offered warmth, Draco beside me in the hall or at dinner, the feeling of his hand in mine.

It was safe. It was home.

In my dreams there was no morning to worry about. No conversations, no magic, no wizards, no curses. I got to be free from it all in this room and in my dreams. I got to be muggle again, innocent to the world that hovered around me.

______________________________

Draco watched you as you slept on his chest, a little frown making its way to your face as you fell asleep, but soon smoothed itself out as you fell into a deeper sleep. A smile then appeared on your face, soft and gentle. There wasn’t worry or fear or hurt on your face when you slept. You seemed younger, happier.

Your gentle breathing and the weight of the night eventually pulled him under as well, despite his best efforts.

And for the first time in his life, he didn’t dream at all.

You shifted in your sleep, stretching your legs out and tangling them with his, causing him to wake. He blinked through the darkness and saw that the room around him had changed. It was now his room back home. He wondered why the room had changed on them as the first bits of dawn came in through the window.

Nonetheless, he looked at you, clutching at one of his pillows and the green duvet that draped his bed, and a smile found its way to his face. He never thought that he’d ever see you in his bed looking like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It was almost enough for the horrid memories of hiding in his room and spending long summers alone here with nothing more than house eves as company. You had that effect, taking what was dull and faded and bringing life and color back to it.

“What are you doing?” The question tumbled from your lips. “Go back to sleep,” Grumbling you rolled over and curled yourself into his chest again.

“It’s morning Y/n,” He chided softly.

“I’m on vacation,” You argued with a yawn.

He laughed and sat up, dislodging your position, earning him a rather disgruntled look that he couldn’t help but love as you glared at him. Recognition crossed your face as you realized the change in scenery.

“Your room then?” You mused, stretching and sitting up, letting your eyes wander.

He took a breath and nodded, pulling you into his arms.

“I really don’t want to face today,” The confession was small as you leaned against him. “I... I have no idea how I summoned that Patronus... and I don’t want to have to think about it. Then there’s the rest of the school to face and,” A groan left your lips as you pouted.

Draco pondered her words, adding a few things of his own to that list mentally: he’d have to face his father eventually, and Pansy, he was sure that your friends would never trust him again, and that the entire school wouldn’t listen to what really happened.

“We do it together then,” He whispered softly. 

________________________________

Sitting in Dumbledore’s office beside Draco again, anxiety crept into my chest, inching its way into every crevasse.

Dumbledore, with the company of Snape and McGonagall, had us recount the nights events, extracting ever little detail, questioning everything.

“And you ran,” Dumbledore clarified. “What were you thinking my dear? What thoughts were going through your head?”

I pursed my lips, clenching my fists, taking a sharp breath in.

“I’d rather not say,” I whispered.

“Do you understand how important this is Miss Lupine!?” Snape bellowed. “You preformed the most powerful spell known to wizards and you’d ‘rather not say’ what you were thinking!?”

Draco, stood, snarling at the professor, his hand reaching for his wand. McGonagall and I both stepped in the way of the two, calming them both. Draco took a few deep breaths and nodded, hovering close to me still.

I turned back to Dumbledore.

“I... have spent a long time taming my inner thoughts,” I began. “My family has a history of what muggles call depression. Thoughts that act like dementors inside the mind, sucking the soul and life from me.” My voice was even and calm. “I have had a very good handle on them this year, but when...” I trailed off and then picked back up. “They broke free, these thoughts and I fought back against them. I am stronger than them and I am worthy.”

McGonagall smiled softly at me, and Snape seemed to be in shock, as if he never would have guessed. Dumbledore remained composed, however.

“I see,” He nodded. “Well, I do believe that explains it don’t you?”

I frowned and blinked.

“Not really?”

“You said it yourself my dear, you have dementors residing in your mind at all waking hours, and when they overwhelmed you, you called on your Patronus and fought back,”

“Oh,” I gnawed on my lip and nodded. “Alright,”

“Now, I do believe that the two of you have more than deserved this holiday break,” Dumbledore smiled. “But please, stay on school grounds for your safety.”

We both nodded. There were questions in Draco’s eyes about what I had said, but I simply shrugged. I’d answer them, but at another time.

Timid, we both headed down the steps out of Dumbledore’s office and came to the door that would lead us back into the hall.

“Ready?” Draco asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” I muttered and took his hand.

He opened the door, and to my worst fear there was a swarm of students—if not the entire school—outside the door, all looking to us expectantly. Draco and I looked to each other, dumbfounded and lost to what we should do next.

“Long live the Slytherin Prince and the Gryffindor Princess!” Someone shouted who sounded a lot like George or Fred.

Applause erupted around us, students from every school and every house all clapping and cheering as they made a path for us to weave through. My face went red as we walked through the throng of people, familiar faces beaming at me, cheering me on—Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff alike.

I looked over to Draco, who was beaming beside me, his head held high. I followed suit and we walked, arms linked, together. A laugh escaped my lips as I spotted the Weasley twins who were giving me a thumbs-up, next to them Harry Ron and Hermione waving. I waved back and Hermione ran over to give me a hug. It was then that everyone broke line and swarmed us giving hugs and pats on the back. It was surreal, but I wouldn’t have traded it for the world.

We all filed into the Great Hall for one of the most bizarre lunches I had ever seen at Hogwarts. The House Table rules were thrown to the wind as the students intermingled and sat with each other, all talking of the Yule Ball, the Triwizard Cup.

Draco stayed beside me as people hovered around us, wanting to hear the story. Thankfully Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all up to the challenge of the retelling, so that Draco and I had a moment to actually eat lunch.

The excitement faded as the afternoon lulled to evening and a massive snowball fight broke out in the courtyard. Teams formed then disbanded and it was every man for himself, until someone

else created and alliance and it was a mad house of snow and screams of joy and surprise as an unsuspecting victim got pelted with snow.

I stayed on the outskirts of the fight, not engaging anyone. Wearing Mrs. Weasley’s sweater and Draco’s scarf along with my mother’s coat and gloves, I preferred to stay away from the cold powdery snow. But I grinned, watching Draco run around in the frost, throwing balls of ice and dodging them all the same.

It wasn’t until Fred missed Viktor and the flurry of snow pelted me that Draco really held any alliance. He gave me a look and a smirk, of which I returned and dove into the battle, Draco and I on mission.

Fred and George teamed up automatically, and Hermione, Ginny, and Harry joined Draco and me. Soon sides were chosen in a mix of red, blue, green, and yellow as we all screamed a battle cry and attacked the other side.

For a moment, last night was all but forgotten. Covered in melting snow, I curled into Draco’s side as the battle ended, no winner in sight, but no one walking away a loser either.

Winter break passed, and I honestly had a hard time differentiating days. Draco and I stayed together except at nights when we had to return to our dorm rooms. We spent days taking walks along the grounds in the frost that had turned the school into a wonderland of snow. Somewhere along the way I had adopted his scarf and he had mine. Some nights we would go to the Astronomy Tower to sit and talk, or to dance, or to just be together in the silence and stars.

My dark thoughts stayed chained down and tucked away, giving way to something that felt strong and pure. More than happiness, more than joy.

The feeling of content.

.

.

Part 15

Tags: @un-limiteddd @geekysimmerthings @coffee-addicti @ilikestuffproductions @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @dolphincommander @bisexualbumblebeesstuff @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @jillanaholland @shookyungsoo @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @chaotic-good-gemini @memalfoy-spidey @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @mccloudchloe @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @littlethingsinmymindla @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @mccloudchloe @braelynn-j @jiggllyy​ @honeymarvel​ @go-whovian-universe​ @darcypottah​

[werejusttouchingeachother]

NEW YORK CITY 2018 [June 18th, 8:00AM]

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 T/W: angst - mentions of depression, abuse, cursing Words: 1465

You had reread the message Manager had sent you the morning after Baekhyun left your apartment at New York almost twenty times before the words finally registered in your brain. You’d waken up and had just picked up your phone to call Baekhyun but then felt time stop as you saw the message notification:

[5:00AM] Y/N, Baekhyunie just texted me from the airport? He caught an early-morning flight back to Seoul and said he’ll reach tonight. I don’t know what happened between you two or if anything happened at all but since this is so sudden, I felt that you should know. Hope everything’s okay.

Seoyeon had driven to your apartment about three hours later after you’d finally managed to call her and uttered a few incoherent words before breaking down into loud sobs. After about an hour of calming you down and another, you had finally explained the entire shit-storm that occurred the previous night.

“Before anything else,” Seoyeon started, meeting your teary eyes with a sharp gaze of her own. “I need to ask about Yuta. What exactly happened in that room? Drunk or not, you said you wanted to kiss him. Are you falling out of love with Baek—?”

“No!” You’d protested loudly, shaking your head wildly as you sniffled. “No, no, I’m not. I love him with everything I have, Seoyeon, you know that.”

“Okay, so my assumption is right, then,” she nodded and sat down across from you, grabbing your hands that you’d held clasped tightly in front of you.

“Listen to me, Y/N,” Seoyeon said slowly, her tone sounding more serious than you’d ever heard it. “This is something I’ve always wanted to tell you but I’ve never found the right time to and now seems better than any so here goes: Have you ever considered therapy?”

You blink, completely caught off guard by the question. “I-what? Therapy?”

“Yes,” she nods. She pauses before saying, “Okay, I don’t mean this offensively but your childhood has fucked you up, Y/N.”

“Whose hasn’t?” You snorted derisively and Seoyeon shoots you a glare.

“This is exactly my point,” Seoyeon states, rolling her eyes. “You don’t see it but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You have severe trust issues that interfere with every relationship you build. Look at us, for instance. I’m your closest and only friend, Y/N. Do you remember how you were when we first met at Paris? You were an apprentice back then. You thought I was an airhead and that I was faking my interest in your designs and lying about helping you with the boutique, about wanting to give you the business mind that you lacked. You regard everyone at arm’s length and you don’t let anyone into your life or personal issues. It’s why I was so surprised when you and Baekhyun happened—the way you fell for him so hard and so fast, throwing all your caution to the wind which was so unlike you. I was praying it wouldn’t affect your relationship with him, but with his career, it only became more of a reason to trigger it.”

You were staring at her like she’d been speaking Greek and Seoyeon sighed, tightening her grip around your hands as she said, “You’re not in love with Yuta. You know that and so do I. You had your first real fight with Baekhyun, he said stuff that made you feel as if you’d fucked up—which you did—but you let it get to your head in ways that he didn’t mean it. All these demons that you keep running away from resurfaced and what you did with Yuta was a clear matter of self-sabotage. You wanted to take the easy way out because you knew deep down, Baekhyun wouldn’t up and leave you just like that. You needed to fuck up so that he would leave first while blaming you because you know that you can’t leave him.”

You can still recall the way you’d felt as you listened to Seoyeon’s words that day. She made no sense but at the same time, it was like the most dreadful realisation had dawned upon you and had numbed you all over.

“He did, though,” you muttered softly, eyes brimming with tears again as you looked at her. “He did leave. I did fuck up.”

Seoyeon shook her head, sighing. “You fucked up by believing that you’re worthless because your parents always said you were and you let that affect you. He left because he thought he was hurting you by being in a relationship that made you feel worthless, not because he thinks you are. He left because he doesn’t want to hurt you, Y/N.”

“But it’s not him.” You look up at her. “It’s… it’s my head. I’m hurting myself.”

Seoyeon hesitated, cocking her head before responding, “Well, I wouldn’t say it’s just you.”

You frown and she continues, “Look, you have shit that you need to get together, true. But he’s not wrong. You heard everything he said, with the media and the fans and that entire tragic scenario he so kindly described for you. Those are also obstacles that will be there in your relationship, if you choose to continue pursuing it. Even if you manage to not let your doubts and anxieties get the worst of you and wreck this relationship—that is something in your control. Baekhyun’s life and job aren’t. There are high possibilities you may never go public. You may end up getting married in an extremely small event with just a few people and forever living as Mrs. Byun X. Your identity when related to him may have to always be a secret, Y/N. Till the grave.”

She let go of your hands then, pulling away and leaning back in the seat to look at you. You had an expression as if hell had frozen over and she paused before saying gently, “Maybe a break is a good thing, Y/N. There’s a lot to consider and maybe now is the time to do it.”

You shake your head, pressing your fisted hands to your eyes. “I can’t let go of him, Seoyeon.”

You felt her arms wrap around you then and you reflexively leaned into her warm embrace that had been as gentle as her words, “Work on yourself. You need to stop being so harsh on yourself and thinking you’re not worthy of the love that Baekhyun and I shower upon you. You can’t go back into a relationship with the same baggage that was the exact reason for it crumbling in the first place.”

“Therapy?” You pull away and say it hesitantly, the word tasting foreign on your lips. “Am I that… fucked?”

Seoyeon shakes her head at your broken tone and hugs you tightly, her voice hoarse as she quickly reassures you, “It’s not your fault, love, oh god. Please don’t blame yourself for your parents’ mistakes. I only want you to get help because I don’t want your past relationships to wreck those in the future.”

You’re crying in her chest and she runs her hand over your head soothingly. It reminds you of Baekhyun’s habit of always kissing the top of your head which makes you cry harder.

“Does he know about your parents, Y/N?” She asks and you shake your head, pulling away and sniffling as you look up at her.

“Less than you,” you reply, making her eyes widen.

“What? But I only know that they abused you both physically and mentally.”

“Mentally,” you immediately correct her. “They only hit me those two times.”

“That is still abuse,” Seoyeon snaps, her voice and glare sharp enough to make you back down. She takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as she says, “I know a therapist who’s pretty great. If you’re ready, I can book an appointment with her tomorrow. You can’t keep running from what happened to you and lying to yourself. The first step to healing is confronting your shit and your fuck-ups. And as scary as that is, I’m going to be here for you and help you. Regardless of what happens with Baekhyun, this is something you need to do for yourself.”

“Why do you know so much about this?” You raise an eyebrow as you finally voice the question you’d been thinking the whole time. “The whole in-depth psych analysis you just did, all this about demons and past. What’s going on?”

“Everyone has demons, Y/N.” Seoyeon gives you a smile then, one that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Most just need help facing them and I’m trying to push you in that direction. Now come on, let’s get you under some water. You’re still in the dress and makeup from last night.”

[transslyblue]

Also "1-99"

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Haha, closed. I don't like seeing the dark void that I call a closet

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Yea, but you can't really see them unless you're close

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame musical, the Tavern Song

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Blue, but I also like a variety of purples and greens

(6) Relationship Status.

Single and not looking

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

69º F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yea, unless I wake up myself

(9) How Many Followers?

118, but I need to go through and block any bots. (;w;)

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Leo

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Blue/green hazel. My eyes are multi-coloured so they have blue, green, and brown with a very grey look to them.

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

I forget daily

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yup!

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

I really want to get back to reading some more Lovecraft, but i don't have much time to read

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

"Minutes before librarians ate him."

(16) Favourite Anime?

Uuuuhhhhhh, hm. I guess it'd have to be InuYasha, but I like a lot of anime

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Err,,, it was a very close friend. Idk if they'd want me to say who they are tho

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Rocks and those snowglobe musicboxes

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Yogurt and a protein bar. Ik, ik real healthy and filling

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Depends on the song, but not really

(21) Favourite Animal?

Owls and cats

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Not really, but when I do it's the diving Olympics

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

2am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I don't wear makeup. Though I have considered it

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Either. Pool is safer though

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Oof, idk if I can pick just one, so imma name a few. @ohhimarx @mirosuikaaa @masochist-incarnate they're all really friendly and nice

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Whichever is most convenient at the time

(28) What Makes You Happy?

The sound of rain, art, my friends talking to me, I have a list that I've posted, so I won't list out here

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Haha, I don't study;;;

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Cats

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

Blue-tiful lol, for real though probably bubble blue

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Does Switch/ds count?

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Idunknow

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Not really, but I won't bash on anyone who does

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Black, but is a Link being a meme

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

I save more then I spend.

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yea, it's a pink pillow of Lion from Steven Universe and a music stand from when I was in middle school

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Kirby in general

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Nope, but I have touched one before

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Yes and no. It really depends on how long I've been around them

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Omg yes! I remember a few and they were all lucid dreams! (I looked up the term from last time I answered this question)

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Never been on one

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Of Mice and Men

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Both

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Panic!At the Disco, Fallout Boy, or The Neighborhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really. There are some foods I refuse to eat, but otherwise I eat pretty much anything

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yes

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nope! I actually like thunder

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I enjoy reading. As for writing, eh. I'll write out my ideas but I'mno good at fleshing them out to be interesting

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yes. But not too loud, just enough where I don't hear everyone around me

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins! I really am bad at wrapping presents

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Hurts - Illuminated

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Spring and dying from pollen

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

Idk, something salty tbh

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

I'm a transgender male, so i use he/him pronouns.

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Both, but I like tea more

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

I'm not in school anymore soooo no

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Idk. Questioning I guess

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

No

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

I already answered this one, so I'll say a new pokemon that I love. Rowlet!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Bruh I am not a fan, but Tumblrs the one I'm on most.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

Idk. I don't have an Instagram

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Yes

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yes, and I plan to stay that way for awhile

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

I use Suave, but I also use TeaTree when I get really bad dandruff

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Depends on the place. But most likely I'd risk the motel.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

My mom yes, my biological father... It's complicated

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I don't really watch movies, so none

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

I don't have an ex

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

Be the person you needed when you were younger. I have no clue who said it, but I live by that

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

Eyes in general are great. Idk how anyone can not find something they like in any eye colour

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YesYesYesYes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Nachos

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Voez and Pokémon Go

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Yes, because no oen deserves to die. I'd do my best to help any homeless person

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Haha, not today. Yet

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Not really

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes!

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I don't wear jewlery much. But I would like to get my ears pierced properly

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed! I don't want people or my cat to walk in

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I woke up, did laundry, answered these questions

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Pajama pants and a t-shirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I've got none. Unless you want me to name what body wash i use. :/

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night person

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Phone: Voez, Pokémon Go

Switch: Legend of Zeld: Breath of the wild, Super Smash Bros Ultimate, Kirby Star Allies, Mario Kart 8, PuyoPuyo Tetris, Bayonetta 1&2, Hyrule Warriors, Just Dance 2017, Super Mario Party, Let's Go Eevee, Mario Odyssey, Undertale, Shovel Knight, Pokémon quest, Mom Hid my Game, Deemo, Sonic Mania, Detention, The Coma, Cave Story

3DS: Kirby Clash Deluxe, Kirby Triple Deluxe, Kirby's Extra Epic Yarn, Kirby Planet Robobot, Kirby Canvas Curse, Kirby Mass Attack, Kirbg Super Star Ultra, Kirby Squeak Squad, Pokémon Y, Pokémon Platinum, Pokémon Ultra Moon, Pokémon Alpha Sapphire Pokémon Heartgold, Legend of Zelda Link Between Worlds, Legend of Zelda Majoras Mask, Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time 3D, Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass, Legend of Zelda Spirit Tracks, Super Smash Bros, Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon, Wario Ware Gold, Super Princess Peach, Animal Crossing New Leaf, Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow, Cooking Mama, Cooking Mama 2, Sonic Colors

Gameboy Color: Pokemon Blue, Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening

This is over the course of many years

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I had this dream where I was flying a red paper plane. It took forever to carry it up this tapestry, but i did it. When I finally took off this group of white paper planes were chasing me so I shook them off and landed, taking shelter in this museum. This museum held other people hiding and was actually an abandoned grocery store. Then I woke up.

I don't rememebr when this was, but I wrote it down. I have a few more if you're interested.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Strawberry Ramuné

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rainstorms,

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans, since I can't wear sweatpants to work

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Uhhh, probably a slob since I've been in pajamas all day

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Stuffed animals

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

Idk. Haven't really wanted one. Maybe a connect the dots one.

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Idk. I watch Pyrocynical and Markiplier, but other than that I listen to music, watch speedpaints, and speed plays of various videogames

[anuknowha]

Afraid

Title: Afraid

Genre: Romance, Drama, Angst

Pairing: Michael Langdon x Reader 

Rating: R

Warning: Suicidal circumstances, cutting, mentions of abuse.

Word Count:  1,824

Characters: 9,457    W/o spaces: 7,653

For the longest of times, your bother was abusive, but when you find someone just like you, are you finally able to be free?

Requested by: @fuckmeupbetch

“You’ll never be good enough!!” your mom spat at you, a 6 year old baby girl. Someone who never did a wrong on purpose, but today you did one in her eyes. You had accidentally broken a vase of purple roses that your father had brought her before he left out for work this morning. She was angry at you, and it was as if the flowers were worth more than you.

“I’m sorry mama.” you said with complete sympathy in your heart. It seemed she ignored your apology and you soon found yourself on the floor with a giant red mark against your cheek. Tears started to form at your eyes and you burst out crying. You quickly got up and ran to your room.

Years past and there was nothing but abuse after abuse for nothing. It all started because when you were 6, your dad started to cheat on your mom, and therefore she started to drink, quickly falling into the world of alcoholism. She would let it get the best of her, bottle after bottle, stronger and stronger, the liquid ran down her throat everyday. As years went on, by the time you were 8, she lost her job, and by the time you were 12, she had resulted to being a prostitute just to afford more drinks. And when she wasn’t out crawling the town for the lowest of the low of men, she was there, molesting you, abusing you. You’d have to wear makeup to cover your cheeks from the dark red markings from her feet and hands. The slaps across the face for forgetting to get something from the store or even for returning home past dark. At every chance she had, she was ready to abuse you. The marks on your arms were coating almost every inch from your wrist to your shoulder. You’d go to school aching and come home crying. You had nowhere else to go. You had no real friends, all of the girls who claimed to care, were just there to step on you. You had one spit onto your face during gym and everyone laughed at you about it. The teachers never cared there, they didn’t take time to suspend anyone, unless a kid actually died. And there was a time that you almost did.

You had a crush on this guy who was with a “close friend” of yours, but you knew you couldn’t have him. When you were with him you felt happy, he gave you joy, made you feel like a better person, and you shared a lot of laughs together. But sadly, that “friend” was nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

One day she invited you out, and walked you into the alley with her, where her and her posse beat you until you went into a coma. They kicked you in your stomach, and tore at your clothes. And by the time they were done, you were left half naked. Your shirt near the exit of the alley, and blood coating your lips and hands. You had even had a black eye, and a severe concussion.

You were in a coma for over 3 months, and missed a lot of school. After you woke up you, a few more days of rest, you were sent home, back to your abusive mother, and she didn’t even let up her anger to help you.

“Look at these medical bills you dumb fuck!!” she threw the papers at you which scattered across the floor around you.

You rushed to pick them up and put them on the table. You than ran upstairs and grabbed your razor.

You are now 18.

“Why haven’t I killed myself yet…? It's been 12 years… and I have no job, and I’m still stuck here with her. I hate it here!! I hate my life!! I hate everything about this world!!” you looked down at your arms.

The bandages that were on your arms were from the school nurse, she placed them them so you would let the cuts heal completely.

Today marks the middle of the school year, and your last year of school. You were glad to be so close to getting out and yet so far from being free from your old life. The abuse and struggles seemed like they were to never stop. You walked into school today, and a crowd of people were standing around a person, seemingly someone new to the school. "You're so cute!!", "Amazing!!", "Why don't more guys have long hair like you?" Were all comments you heard as you pushed your way through the crowd, and accidentally reached the center. It was a new student, he was tall, with long blonde hair and blue eyes that could stare right through you. They were luminescent, and they were full of pride. "Hey bitch, how about you move out the way?" You felt hands against your back and a sudden force of gravity had pulled you to the floor. It was embarrassing, but you landed face first right in front of this man's feet and the crowd erupted in a laugh. He looked down at you, a face of worry and gently picks you up from the ground, dusting off your clothes. "Hmm? Are you alright?" He commented with a straight face. You stayed silent. A sigh left his throat and he started to escort you through the crowd to the nurses office. Upon your arrival you take a seat on the bed, realizing you had a bloody nose, which had been dripping onto the hallway floor as you guys were walking to the office. He went to grab a wet paper towel and returned to dab the blood from your red and slightly swollen nose. "Why are you helping me?" You you spat. "I saw them push you, and what they did was not pleasing to the eye. Do not treat someone like trash, especially, if they have done nothing wrong." His blue orbs met yours and you stared at him. "My name is Michael Langdon..." He started, "...and I've sadly been through the same type of struggle you've been through." "How could you?" You huffed. He continued to clean the blood off until it was completely gone, and it disgusted you that you even let him this close, but at this point you were too tired to fight it. You could die right here, right now, and you couldn't care less at this point. "I've been abandoned by my mother." He sighs as he sits down next to you. "She deemed me to be evil, to be maniacal, that everyone around me was better than me, even my father. But she never kicked him out... And he was the one who raped my mother. Everything in my life has been a lie, it took forever for me to grow. The constant abuse and hate that I got from the woman who took me in, it was unbearable. So I know how it feels. And I can tell by the markings that dawn your arms, that your body is giving in to this, and truly, it does hurt. Your mom was your abuser as well wasn't she?" "H-how'd you know that?" You stare at him in shock. "Oh, I come with much intelligence about everyone in this school. I can read their minds and faces, but yours is one most relatable." He leaned his head on your shoulder. You blushed, you haven't felt so comfortable around someone in a long time, and it's been a while since you let your guard down but something told you not to be afraid. His hair was draped over your shoulders and it caused you to smile for once in many years, and this one was real. It actually relaxed you to a point as you tilted your head back some to stop the blonde flow. You stroked his head gently, feeling his gorgeous long strands between your fingers and across your hand. He was innocent to you, like a puppy, and it was cute. He looked up at you and went to go get you an ice pack from the nurse. When he came back, he placed it on your forehead and held it there, watching you watch him. It was wonderful. You guys stayed at the nurses office all day, and it wasn't until the last bell that you and him left. He was to walk you home but you refused to go, so instead he took you in. Every day was better for you. He cared for you and nursed you back to health as much as possible. Some nights you'd wake up drenched in sweat because of the horrid nightmares you had about your mother. It would constantly drain you of sleep, and when it did, he would hear your cries of help and come to your side; cuddling you to sleep. Some nights you would often sit outside the door, pacing back and forth with your mind racing, thinking to look for a razor. And one night you did. It had been a month since you had last even seen your mother and she had called multiple times but you decided to ignore them all, until today. The phone rang, and fear darted through your mind as you decided to take the time to answer it. You picked it up. "Y/N... Is that you? Please come back to me. You're such a good girl and I miss you." You mom's voice sounded from the phone, almost as if it was sympathetic, but you could see right through it. "Y/N? Y/N?" She cried. You ended the call and started to cry. Her words ran through your head hungrily and you found yourself going to the bathroom and looking for a razor, the sharpest you could find. You lifted up your sleeve and dragged it up from the base of your wrist, you grunted through tears. The feeling hurt, and your vision became blurry as blood started pouring down both sides of your arm. You were losing consciousness and quickly felt yourself growing weak and falling to the floor. The crimson liquid quickly built up a puddle under your arm. Soon, you were awake to a voice calling your name. "Y/N!! Y/N!!" Michael ran his fingers through your hair as you woke up in his arms. You looked down and the cut was closed, sealed, and the blood on the floor was cleaned. Your arm was covered in a giant scar. "How...? You're not suppose to be able to fix it..." You whimper. "There's a lot you don't know about me Y/N. And its for the best, but I do want you safe, so please stay safe and stop harming yourself, it'll only make things worse." He pecks your lips softly and watches you fall into a deep slumber.

Taglist: @sexy-monster-fucker @the-captain-kidd

[lovenikkilibrary]

April 20th on Love Nikki is Trying to Kill Us All

You may have noticed that the blizzard of events/ buys/ gifts Love Nikki has casually thrown at us since my last post is actually filled with more take than give now that I look at it all. So I made this updated resource though I excluded the FB Housing Contest and Tengu Limited Quest ‘cause A) y’all don’t seem interested and B) if you’re gonna do it, it’s already done/ being done. Deadline for both is April 22nd. Tengu resource for #of diamonds to craft it here if you want one.

I also misspoke earlier about the return of some past items, but rest assured, the above resource has been checked, double checked, and contains the nitty-gritty info for tomorrow’s slew of events. Unless they add something else tomorrow last minute, pretty sure this is it, Folks. So as usual, feel free to read on for the official posts/ sources, and I hope to all that is good in this world that none of us go broke (for cash or diamonds) over this business, yo.

Double Drops for Lovely Lops + Double Starlight Coin

Drop Guide Resource (to plan your attack + Diamond Farming Tips)

Stylist Arena Tips  (w/ thekawaiibutterflygirl who just wanted to help ^^)

Crafting Tips

Deadline: April 22nd

My source: Official FB, Love Lily Dress Up Queen’s post

Wonder Museum Event

The Suit (and the makeup reveal from Lilith Kingdom)

Some Silliness from me and from others.

Check out the Gallery (under Achievements) for a peek at the fossils

Deadline: April 24th

Event Dates: April 20th-24th

Suits: Back to Prehistory

Extra Goodies: Limited parts that won’t be repeated (like dinosaur and fossil ornaments) + other goodies found in the Souvenir Shops.

Free or Paid?: Free-ish. Collect Amber Fossils on an Event Map (most likely with 3 Free attempts per day). However, Limited parts will not be repeated (so chances are we’ll be using diamonds to collect the whole suit). As always, there’s an option for those who pay-to-play to buy Amber Fossils directly from the User’s Shop.

How it works: The Event Map has styling battle and quiz stages similar to Ultimate Race. Each time you play a stage, you’ll earn “Amber Fossils.” Play those stages over and over again until you earn enough Amber Fossils to exchange for pieces of each set. NOTE: Some limited pieces of this set will NOT be repeated, so there’s a chance diamonds will also be useful during this event time for extra attempts on the Event map.

Collection Attempt Limits: There are most likely going to be 3 free attempts (per stage) per day with chances to use diamonds for extra attempts. Will update as we know more.

My Fave Suit: Honestly, is it weird that I’m not feeling this one? I do want the dinosaur in the background, but I don’t feel the need to BE the dinosaur. Ya know?

My Source: The Official FB page and myself in a way lol! 

Cat Cafe

Home Wish Court Event (pull for diamonds/ buy in the Furniture User’s Shop with Heart Tickets. Spend your fortune for lucky cats what)

Get 2 Free kitties and 60 Heart Tickets for signing in by the deadline

Deadline: April 26th

My source: Official FB, and Ms. Loki’s post

Mrs. Sylvia Suit

Get for free if you log in by the deadline! Plus 366 diamonds-- one for every day Momo tortured us! 

Deadline: April 27th

My source: Official FB and Love Lily Dress Up Queen

Dang User Shop Return Suits

You can buy these with all of your money-money in the User Shop. 

Clair’s Wish (North), Star Priest (Wasteland), Tune at Dawn (Lilith)

A Price Check Comparison courtesy of Lilith Kingdom’s Price Check tag

Deadline: May 7th

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[hesyungblud]

Wide Eyed

A/N: i hope everyone enjoys this one as much as Dusk Till Dawn and keep your eyes peeled at the end for a surprise ;) aesthetic is made by me as always so if you’re gonna steal it, at least credit ya girl please. thanks to @sensualshawn for always helping me write. i try my best to get rid of all typo’s but there are probably some still hiding in there. please bare in mind that i am british and some spellings may be different to american spelling. enjoy!

- word count: 1,887 - warnings: none, kinda smutty - blurb: shawn frustrates his new housemate with his annoying habits but end up getting a little too close during a house party

You slammed the toilet seat down for what felt like the millionth time this week. Sighing and adjusting the towel at your chest, feeling somewhat frustrated and even a little angry. You marched your way from the bathroom along the short corridor into the open plan lounge and kitchen where you set your eyes on your new housemate.

“Shawn,” You began, running a hand through your wet hair, sighing as though you wondered why you were bothering telling him off again. “For the umpteenth time, when you use the toilet - would it kill you to put the seat back down?”

He looked at you sheepishly as he scoffed a piece of toast, a mug of coffee in his hand as he brought it to his lips, sipping it quickly. The smirk behind the small ceramic piece of crockery was clearly evident.

“Sorry,” He chuckled, shrugging his shoulders with a smile as he dried his damp hair with a towel and he gave you one of those looks you’d become accustomed to over the last week.

Gross, you thought. Boys are gross.

you were also lying to yourself, you wanted to think he was gross but quite frankly - seeing him stood in the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats, his skin still damp from the shower, smirking at your the way he did, he was definitely not gross. Anything but gross.

“And next time, could you warn me if you’re going to have a shower at the same time as me? I had to cut mine short and the water went freezing cold,” You shivered, throwing Shawn an unimpressed look as you made your way back to your bedroom, feeling his eyes burning through you.

You usually wouldn’t have made a fuss, but after everything else he’d done that had pissed you off this week, you had to say something. Even if you were looking like something out of a horror movie with panda eyes because you couldn’t be bothered to take your makeup off last night.

You barely knew the guy, a week if that but he made you want to scream every time he did even the slightest thing to annoy yours. (And he also made you want to scream by how damn good looking he was). This wasn’t what you signed up for. To have the potential to start to fall for a guy who was clearly out of reach. He spent most of his life on the road, performing to his adoring fans. you weren't even looking for anything, you were happy being single and when a relationship was to arise in the future, you doubted it would be with your pop sensation housemate and his 27 thousand annoying habits.

First, he stole your favourite mug and left it in his bedroom for 3 days. Then he continued to let his crockery pile up in the sink without giving a thought to wash them. The late nights, staying up until 2, sometimes even 3 in the morning in his studio playing his guitar, piano, singing, trying to get the right words out for his new album. You wondered if he was ever going to learn, or at least spare a thought for his neighbours (and yourself) and buy a pair of headphones.

You didn’t quite grasp what you’d gotten yourself into, until yesterday when you stepped out of the new complex you were living in, to be greeted by a group of fans. They were asking after Shawn, to which you gave them a bemused look and excused yourself as you carried on with your day. You knew he was somewhat famous, but you were unaware just how famous. You’d been speaking to Shawn’s manager, Andrew since the day you saw the advert for a room to rent in a beautiful condo overlooking Toronto (not to mention, smack bang in the view of the CN Tower).

You thought this place would be perfect for you, knowing your housemate was away on tour etc throughout most of the year. You’d get the entire place to yourself the majority of your time so if you could just get through this whilst Shawn was around, you could get through anything.

You could appreciate how and why people got infatuated by him. His voice and talent improved more and more with every time that you heard him sing or heard him play the piano, the guitar. He was attractive, traditionally good looking and you could see why he had so many fans all over the globe. You should count yourself lucky, getting to live with him but in all honesty, you didn’t really understand it and you paid no mind to it, pop star or not. We’re all the same on the inside. Maybe you were too old and had outgrown those types of phases.

And if you were really being honest, if he continued to look at you the way he’d been looking at your for the past week, you knew it wasn’t going to end well.

*

“I can tell this is turning you on, you know,” You froze, the breath hitching in your throat as Shawn’s lips made their way to that damn weak spot on your neck again. Your legs were about to give way, your insides were quaking. You were turned on, there was no lie about that - but you didn’t want to give in to him this easily. It was just a house party, the two of you weren’t the only people who may have had a few too many drinks and ended up making out.

“What are you talking about?” You breathed out, barely a whisper as his lips pressed into your skin, again and again, making you arch your back. With your mouth slightly parted, you wanted to moan as loud as you could but also desperately not wanting to give in to this feeling just yet, so you sucked a breath in silently.

“Your pulse is racing, I can feel it,” He licked, sucked and grazed his teeth over the space on your skin as the blood pumped through the vein in your neck. At the same time, he ran his thumb gently across your wrist, pushing against the vein as he sort of pinned you to the window. Your mind was running away with you, wondering what else he could do with that seemingly very skilled mouth of his from what you’d experienced so far.

“I’m just cold, we are outside on the balcony in case you’d forgotten, it is night time,” You laughed, trying to make up some lame excuse to cover up the fact that yes, your pulse was racing so fast that you weren't sure if it was the alcohol that was making your dizzy or the adrenaline running through your veins.

“It’s like, 21 degrees out. How can you be cold?” Shawn muttered into your skin as his lips moved expertly to the column of your throat. If you were going to moan, now wouldn’t be the time because he could feel even the slightest little sound from vibrations as his lips grazed over your voice box. You were still trying to act coy for some unknown other reason, it almost felt like a challenge for you trying to keep quiet and you kind of liked it.  It made Shawn more determined to keep trying to get you to react to his actions and you weren’t complaining.

“You’ve got me pressed up against a window pane at night, this dress is backless, I think I have a right to be cold,” You grabbed at his chest, fisting the bunched up material of his shirt in your palm as you pulled his body closer to you, even though there was no more space between your bodies, it wasn’t enough.

“I mean, I can stop if you w-”

“No, no, don’t fucking stop,” You half moaned, half pleaded in the heat of the moment. As soon as you heard him say the word stop, your body went into overdrive not wanting to lose the contact you already had with him. He chuckled, his breath tickling your neck and you swear he’s already wrecked you. Completely ruined you.

“Alright, no need to beg me,” He teased, one of his hands threading through your hair at the back of your neck as he kissed you on the mouth hard, catching you off guard as he swallowed a moan. Finally, you thought. You’d given into him and there was no going back now.

“You’re such an asshole,” You muttered against his lips as he took your bottom lip between his lips, biting it softly as his fingers danced up your thighs to your lips, where they rested firmly.

“You love it though,” Shawn cooed, his eyes pouring into yours as he subconsciously ran his tongue over his bottom lip. It drove you crazy, it made you ache to wonder what else that tongue could do to you as you got distracted by it.

“Is it that obvious?” You almost slurred, unable to string a sentence together with the feeling of having Shawn this close to you. He threw his head back and laughed. Like an actual full-blown, throaty, cheeky giggle. You wanted to pounce on him more than anything right now but you didn’t want to seem like that kind of girl, you were probably already reeking of desperation and that was the last thing you wanted but you couldn’t help the way your new housemate made you feel.

“No, not really honey, don’t worry,” He laughed deep into his throat which made your stomach flip. “But I’m pretty sure this will tell me if you love it though,”

And with those words, all in the space of a few seconds - his fingers dragged over your dress from your hip, down to the skin on your inner thigh and further. You bit your lip, looking up at Shawn and he pretty much asked for your permission with the look in his eyes, which could talk a thousand words with how expressive he was. You nodded, wanting him to touch you and he did, he dragged his thumb over your underwear and you bit your lip hard, a little too hard as you tasted blood. You tried to hold your moan in but it didn’t work as well as you hoped.

“It’s hot when you do that, you should do it more,” Shawn cooed as he moved his thumb over you again, now knowing how completely and utterly soaked you were for him and you couldn’t play it coy anymore. He’d broken down those walls you’d built up in no time at all and you didn’t even mind.

“How did we end up here?” You mumbled against his lips as his thumb moved away from where you craved his touch the most and you almost felt a little deflated, sighing heavily as you broke off the kiss.

“I don’t know, but I need to get rid of everyone inside. I need to take you to bed, I want you,” Shawn’s voice was now somewhat hungry as he kissed you one last time before heading back inside, leaving you alone with your thoughts, wondering what the rest of the night with him would bring.

SURPRISE! THERE MAY (PROBABLY) BE A PART 2 COMING SOON WHERE THE SMUTTINESS ENSUES...

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