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cobaltperun · 1 month ago

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Eternal Flame (7) - Natural

Jenna Ortega x Female Reader

Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.

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Word Count: 10.9k

-Natural, a beating heart of stone, you gotta be so cold, to make it in this world-

Nights were always the most difficult part of the day for you. The all-consuming darkness surrounding you, the way to silence engulfed the world, the way it felt like the time just came to a halt, the way that illusion played with your senses and reminded you of that night. It kept your mind running a hundred miles per hour, spread thin in every direction all at the same time and with your thoughts scattered all over the place.

The vicious circle seemed like it would never end.

And worse than anything, all of this fighting just allowed those feelings to further consume you. The guilt, the remorse, the knowledge that you were hurting everyone who still loved you and that you would hurt them again because you just found it impossible to stop. You couldn’t stop, you didn’t know how to when every time you were reminded of your parents in any way you had that urge to just go and fight.

The survivor’s guilt, your therapist said before you stormed out of her office at seventeen, never to go back there again. Now you could admit she was right, but back then you were a mess. Now you could recognize that you sought out this pain for more than one reason, but that one of those reasons was as simple as you surviving without a single scratch. They were in so much pain and you couldn’t do anything, so some broken part of you figured out this would even things out a bit.

No one proved you wrong.

No one could prove you wrong when no one knew what thoughts ran through your mind at times like these.

The car rides to the fights were always silent, and they gave you a moment to think, something you despised doing before them, and each time these same thoughts plagued your mind. That you failed them, that you let them die, that you should have been with them, that you should have done more.

Davis was silent, as he usually was, his job was simple. Help organize these fights, help bring in people that would pay to watch and bet on the fighters, and most importantly he recruited a good number of the fighters mostly from his gyms. He had no intention of providing you with anything. Not with the reassurance that you weren't doing the wrong thing or the words that might push you away from the fighting.

He didn't care.

You were another one of the fighters bringing in the money, and that’s all he cared about.

The bag on the backseat called out to you but you just leaned your head back and looked outside. You just looked, not really focusing on anything, vacantly staring at the passing buildings, at the people walking by as Davis stopped at the traffic light. Deep down you wondered how you would have felt if your positions were switched. If Hugh or Barbara were the ones fighting or doing something self-destructive, and you knew how you would have felt. You would have done everything in your power to stop them but knowing that didn't stop you from doing this.

You found it funny how often knowing how you would react if someone did something to you didn’t stop you from doing that same thing. And it wasn’t just you, many people were like that. Like your dad who cheated but was then furious when your mom did the same thing to him. Maybe if their marriage ended right then and there they would still be alive. So many what ifs…

Finally, you reached back and grabbed the bag on the backseat. The sound of the zipper being pulled open sounded more like an explosion going off right next to you in your mind, but you ignored it, and pulled out a mask. It was a usual boxing helmet only equipped with a cover for the face to keep your identity hidden and each and every fighter received one. Yours was light grey and you could almost see to hint of your reflection on the material of the face mask glaring back at you and you glanced down at the sharp painted teeth where the mouth was supposed to be.

The mask was the shield. A way to make sure once the fight was over it would stay in the ring. Fighters didn’t know each other by names, only by codenames, Orca, Lone Wolf, Mad Dog, Mammoth. It assured that even if you came across someone you fought against you wouldn’t know it was them. It ensured that, if any fighter wanted to quit, all they had to do was never put the mask on. As the miles passed by you just stopped thinking and when Davis arrived at the building the fights would be held in you put the mask on, everything else was already ready. A binding would hide your breasts, and the baggy clothes would further hide your body. Not a single person would be able to figure out that you weren't a man, and with how you fought you figured they wouldn't even question it.

“Your fight is the second one, get ready,” Davis told you as you unbuckled the seat belt and opened the doors. “And just so you know, Orca is going to retire tonight, if you want to stay and watch.”

You nodded, not replying in any way as you went to the locker room to put the gloves and the boots on.

You would stay back to watch. Though that wasn’t really a habit you had. Still, Orca was fighting his last fight, and you’d stay for that. Orca was the only current fighter that was part of these fights before you joined, and from what he’s told you, he’s been fighting here for thirteen years now. It was telling how quickly people gave up on fighting here, finding this to be too painful to be worth the money. Right now, Orca was the oldest member at thirteen years, followed by you with four years, and then Mammoth with a bit over a year, other fighters barely lasted half a year.

Why did he keep fighting for so long? You never asked, you never would. That’s how this all worked.

~X~

There were days when work was nothing but hell, and whoever figured out a night shift was a necessary part of the economy, was the enemy to all of humankind and especially an enemy to her. Barbara just got back from working in a pet store her parents owned. Seriously? Her own parents had her working a night shift. To build character, she supposed, or so they told her, frankly her character was already built, there was no changing it.

Oh well, at least the animals were adorable.

Was she whining when she had a fairly chill life? Yeah, she was.

Somewhere along the line she figured whining about little things helped her release the stress she had. If someone seriously asked her, then no, she wouldn’t be complaining, but she was complaining either to you or when she was just by herself, and in her mind, there was no harm in that.

At least she could reach your apartment fairly quick from her workplace and then she could bother you and annoy you and get you to make her a very late dinner that she would eat so eagerly it would look like she was having her last meal. That thought brought a smile to her face.

And like usual she just barged into your apartment. No knocking, no announcing herself, well, at least she didn’t slam them open, she just opened the doors and close them behind her, because her name was Barbara not barbaric. “Babe, I'm home!” she announced only to be met with an empty apartment, and the sinking feeling that something was seriously wrong found its home in her heart.

“Y/N!” She called out your name, but there was no answer. She dared to believe you would come back any moment now, that you left to go for a walk or a late night run or went to get some last minute shopping done. She pulled out her phone to call you but just as she was about to do it she saw your phone on the table and she knew.

“God, please, not again,” she crumbled onto the sofa and covered her eyes as tears began falling down her cheeks. The only time you ever left your place without your phone was when you were going to the fights.

Perhaps for the very first time she felt what you were probably feeling. She’s been on her own in your apartment before, but each and every time there was an explanation for it. You were filming, you were out buying groceries, you were working at the gym. You would come back safe and sound and that was all she needed to know. All those times your apartment felt warm and welcoming, because she knew everything was fine. Yet, here she was, for the first time feeling just how cold and lifeless it really was. Barren, just functional, lacking pretty much any personal detail, there weren't even the photos of you and your family hanging on the walls. There was nothing. It was freezing cold, and you must have felt that cold deep within you, all the way down to your bones, in every single moment you were all alone, knowing no one would come any time soon.

Barbara never knew that feeling, she lived with her parents, and if she was tired of living there she could come here and be with you, and if you weren’t available she could go and visit one of her siblings. She was never on her own.

You were.

All those moments when there was no one with you in any way, no one to text or talk to, or be with, all of that loneliness and isolation, despite everything she was doing as your friend, you must have felt like you are slowly going insane. That must have been how you felt because this place all of a sudden just felt suffocating, because deep down she knew that right now, right in this very moment, you were in a fight. Barbara didn't know why you kept fighting, though her mind went in hundreds of different directions, each one worse than the previous, and the fact that she didn't know why you were still fighting haunted her. It haunted her because as much as you loved her and as much as she loved you, you didn't feel free enough to just tell her why you couldn't stop.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” she apologized though no one could hear her.

~X~

The release.

That's what this was.

The release and pure madness.

You let the fist slam into your side, knocking the air from your lungs and you knew you’d be feeling that punch for days. And yet behind the mask you smirked, countering with a punch just as ferocious, aimed right at the opponents liver and he coughed, gasping for air as he took a few steps back and hunched forward. The fight has been going on for over ten minutes now, and he was reaching his limits, his legs were shaking as you went forward and hit him with a simple one-two combo, your punches landing on his chest as he tried to put his guard up. Just as he raised his hands you went and landed an uppercut on his guts, making him drop to his knees.

The crowd around you cheered and you knew the practice in this ring. You weren’t supposed to stop, you were supposed to keep hitting him while he was down, to do as much damage and end the fight, giving all these people the violence they came to see. In the worst case scenario you should have just gotten him in a hold and made him give up, but you did neither of those things. You backed away, keeping the fight going, giving him the chance to either give up on his own or keep fighting. Any smart fighter would have ended it right there, you didn’t though.

You wouldn’t attack while someone was down, and it wasn’t just some honor keeping you from doing that. You wanted the fight to last, you wanted to get as exhausted as you possibly could, and if that meant more pain and potentially being defeated, then that was fine by you as well.

This was a sickness, a disease infiltrating every part of your life and you almost relished in it. He got up, and you couldn’t see his eyes, you couldn’t gauge his will to keep fighting. The same went for him, but you guessed an image of a fighter just standing there, guard down, after knocking you down to the ground must have been intimidating, as he took a step back.

As sick as it was this was what you needed. The guilt before the fight and the guilt you would feel after the fight didn’t matter right now. In this moment you felt none of that guilt. The pain you felt was no longer something abstract, it had the source you could point at, it had the cause, it was physical and no longer driven and caused by emotions. You were in control, you knew exactly how much you could take, and you could stop it at any moment.

You were in control.

You knew exactly what you were doing. Every time the pain became too much to handle, when the weight of loss and all the emotions surrounding that tragedy became too much, the only thing you could do to temporarily fix it was to trade that pain for this one. All you could hope for was that this pain would numb every other pain.

And it worked. Damn it all, it worked every single time, without fail.

So, why stop when it works?

You dodged a flurry of punches, almost dancing around your opponent, your hits never losing power and landing at precise spots. He wouldn’t last much longer.

It was working this time as well. The pain was numbed, and that heavy feeling was pushed to the back of your mind, at least for a bit. Once more you traded blows with the masked man in front of you. You would feel guilty over this the moment the fight ended. You would feel the immense guilt over their deaths, you would feel like the worst piece of shit you could possibly ever be. You would feel like you are betraying everything, all the memories of your parents you still had, all the people who loved you and yourself. You will feel all of that and yet, sooner rather than later, you will still come back to do all of this all over again.

The next blow you evaded and instead just slammed your fist into your opponent’s guts or sink him down on his knees and then he said it, the one word that would end the battle.

“Stop,” he gasped, invoking one of the two ways the battle could end in these events. One was what he just did, saying stop. The other was losing consciousness. You turned around, away from him, and raised your fist toward the cheering crowd, once more you have given them a fairly good show.

“Mad Dog wins again!” the referee yelled the moment the fight was over, the cheers and booing of the crowd faded away, much like you expected it would, and guilt took you over.

~X~

The pain made your every step difficult as you dragged your body up the stairs. The fight took its toll on you, and you knew you'd be in pain for several days at the very least. At least it was late, already two in the morning, so you didn't have to worry about your neighbors hearing you.

You pulled your key out of your pocket and pushed it into the keyhole, only to realize the doors were unlocked. "Barbara," you whispered, cursing your luck. This was the last thing she needed, seeing you like this. You've always done your best to keep her away for the first couple of days, and this time you failed. You failed miserably.

You came in as quietly as you possibly could and luckily saw her sleeping on the sofa. Curled up, clearly too tired of waiting, and even in the dim light you could see her cheeks were still wet.

Crying.

You made your best friend cry.

'Fucking asshole,' you cursed yourself. This was your fault. This was the effect of your actions. You pulled a blanket over her, thankful that she didn't wake up, and then you went to turn the heat up, Barbara always hated cold.

You looked at her, silently apologizing. You wished you could tell her this wouldn't happen again, but you had no idea how to stop. You tried, fuck you tried so hard, several times, both for her and Hugh, but you never skipped more than one fight unless you weren’t in Denver in the first place.

You went to the bathroom to tend to the bruises, but the physical pain seemed dull compared to how you felt right now. The water washed away the sweat and blood off your body, and yet you still felt dirty, you still felt unworthy of Barbara's tears. How many people did you lose over these fights?

As you leaned back against the wall and the water washed your body your mind was struck by memories. The sound of tires screeching, horn blaring and the glass shattering. And the screams, the shouting, the painful cries still haunting you. The sight of it all, the truck that drove through a restaurant, glass and wood everywhere, and blood on the bumper. You closed your eyes, but the image remained, only to be replaced by the one haunting you even more, your parents comatose, with no hopes of surviving, of waking up and yet you tried. You tried and tried, yet all the money in the world wouldn't help you, but you kept trying and it didn't matter, you still had to pull the plug. You had to let them go.

You lost them and still stuck in the past you were now losing everyone else.

You bit back a groan of pain as you applied a cooling balm to your bruises and then put clean clothes on. You just stood there in the bathroom slightly hunched over in front of the mirror and you saw your reflection. You face was clean from any injury, yet your body was exhausted and despite the clothes you could point exactly where the bruises were forming. The doors opened and you glanced to your left to see Barbara standing there, you thought she would just criticize you, give you a well-deserved scolding, yet she just flung her arms around you and pulled you in for a hug.

“You're such an asshole,” she was crying once more and you couldn't agree more, you really were an asshole.

“I know, I'm sorry,” you whispered hugging her back, because despite the hug, despite everything you still felt cold. You still felt something was missing.

~X~

Rain drizzled from the sky, giving the neighborhood a beautiful, yet somber, look as Barbara walked through the streets. While she liked rain, she always hated cold. She grew up in a big family as the youngest child pampered by everyone, after all she was ten years younger than her older brother, the second youngest child in the family. When Barbara thought of her childhood, she thought of the protection her older siblings gave her, or the love of her parents, or how she always got all the attention she wanted. For her that was the normal childhood experience. Having a loving family and friends she could always play with. Having a warm home to come to every single day.

So, Barbara despised cold, she hated feeling lonely, she didn't want to ever be alone, and she had enough of letting you feel that way. Clearly you weren't going to stop on your own, so she stood there, her umbrella hanging from her hand, closed as the rain fell on her, dampening her blonde hair. “Come on, you can do this,” she whispered to herself, hyping herself up as she walked through the front door of the gym.

“We’re closed, come back later,” the man that said that was easy to recognize, this was the guy that pulled you into all of this mess, he was the one responsible for your fighting. This was Davis.

“I need to talk to you,” she still approached him, a bit unsteady on her feet, but doing her best to appear calm and confident.

He looked up from his table and seemed to study her for a moment before taking his glasses off. “Listen lady, we are closed. Come back when we open.”

His tone was intimidating, and Barbara could tell that he was strong, and it scared her nearly enough to back away and come back later, but she couldn't do it. “I know you organize underground fights,” that absolutely got his attention, and he stood up, walking around the table as Barbara stood there, swallowing hard because she wasn't sure what would happen next.

“Do you, now?” he seemed intrigued for a moment as he tossed the glasses onto the table without care if they would break or not. “And what do you want? What's it to you?”

He was seeing through her, she knew that, he could tell she was frightened. “Let my friend quit,” because surely, he had something keeping you coming back. You kept coming back again and again even after you no longer needed that money, four thousand for a win wasn’t worth the pain, and she honestly feared that there was some kind of blackmail going on.

“Let your friend quit? I don't know what you think lady, but I'm not forcing anyone into anything and I don't know which friend you're talking about,” he stopped right in front of her and looked down into her eyes she wasn't sure how she didn't step back from him.

“Y/N,” Barbara looked up, glaring at him as she spoke your name, and his eyes widened. Good, so he knew just from your first name who she was talking about. “How do you keep her coming back? If she owes you anything give me some time and I'll pay it back, just stop making her fight,” she demanded, ready to do anything as long as it would help you stop fighting.

Yet Davis just laughed, making her step back in surprise. This was the last reaction she expected. “This is rich!” he clutched his stomach, hunching over because of how hard he was laughing. “No one is making her come to those fights she does it herself.”

“That's not true,” Barbara shook her head. That couldn't be true, that wasn't what you were doing. Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you intentionally go and do something that would only end up with you being hurt and you hurting other people if there wasn't some debt or blackmail involved?

He looked more amused than anything as he went and sat back down on his table at his table, and he pointed toward the chair in front of it. “Go ahead and sit,” he offered and reluctantly Barbara did sit down. “I can tell you don't really trust me so I won't offer any drinks,” it was that obvious, wasn't it? He must have noticed her panic and fear right from the start. Sometime she forgot how bad she was at hiding those.

“I can't trust you,” she shook her head, still in denial. “You must be lying, Y/N wouldn't-“ she tried to reason with herself more than anything.

“Well, she does. Look I don't ask questions, I just recruit fighters. You need to ask your friend why she keeps coming back. I have never borrowed her money, I don't hold a debt over her head, I have nothing to blackmail her with,” he sounded like he was just stating facts, like it was nothing to him that the people he recruited to fight all went back home bruised and hurting. “Hell, if anyone could blackmail anyone, it would be her because I am the one letting a woman fight all of those guys. And damn, she does it amazingly well!” he laughed. He actually laughed, as if he found it funny. “She keeps kicking their asses! Either way, the truth is she keeps coming back on her own.”

It didn’t make sense, none of it made sense. Why would you do this? That question kept repeating itself in her mind.

“Can you forbid her from coming? Do something? She keeps coming back home all bruised up and I can't watch it anymore? Please, if it’s money you want I’ll pay as much as you want,” she pleaded hoping to bring out some sympathy in him make him reconsider what all of this meant. How it affected you and everyone around you. And if sympathy wouldn’t work, money surely would, right?

Davis studied her and for a moment Barbara thought that she could reach some agreement with him. “Look,” but that one word change, the impression entirely, because no one started the sentence with ‘look’ and ended it the way she wanted it to end. “I could be the asshole and ask for your money, promise to try and actually forbid her from coming to fights I organize,” maybe this time things would be different, maybe the sentence would end in her favor. “It wouldn’t accomplish anything, she knows how this works. If she tried, she could find this kind of club anywhere in the world. I can tell her not to come back here and she'll just find another place,” all of her hopes vanished in an instant. “I can tell you this much, she isn't doing this for the money. She's fighting for the sake of fighting and why she does that I don't know, I don’t care, but if you're looking for a villain in this story it's whatever made her fight in the first place. Not me, and not her, your friend,” he paused and looked her dead in the eyes. “Something broke inside of her and she keeps coming back like she deserves all of the pain she gets in that ring.”

His words echoed in Barbara’s mind as he stood up and began picking up his things. “You can sit there for a few minutes and then you should leave. I'm closing this place soon.”

And he left her like that, not even giving her a moment to collect her thoughts on everything he said and respond.

What was there to say? He didn't know the story, but she did, he just gave her the exact words she needed. Something broke inside of you and she knew exactly what and exactly when. She just couldn't repair it, and she doubted that anyone could.

~X~

You lay on your bed with all the lights off, with no sounds or light anywhere around you, your windows closed, the door locked. It was like you just isolated the entire apartment from the rest of the world, not even the sound of rain penetrated through the thick walls. You just lay there, unconscious of the time passing as your body ached.

All you could think of were Barbara’s tears as she pleaded for you to stop fighting. How long would it be until she gives up on you as well. Until her family talks her into cutting contact. The moment they found out you fought they turned away from you, fearing you would drag Barbara into something much worse, that you would get violent with their daughter around. You would never let something like that happen, you fought, sure, but you would never resort to violence outside of an arranged fight unless you had to in order to keep someone safe. Yet, you didn’t blame them, Barbara was their daughter, it was natural for them to worry.

Your phone rang and you reluctantly pulled it out of your pocket and despite everything a smile reached your face when you saw it was Jenna.

“Lottery ticket validation, how may I help you?” you joked as you answered the phone and immediately you were rewarded by a soft sound of Jenna laughing.

“Oh my God, I finally reached you! You see, I had this ticket from like a month ago and I was wondering if you could check if it was still valid?” and she played right into the joke without skipping a beat.

“A month you say? Well, ma'am it really isn't our policy to validate tickets that are that out of date, but you sound like a beautiful woman, so sure. Give me your numbers and I'll see what I can do,” you were talking nonsense, but it felt so good to hear her voice.

“I sound like a beautiful woman? I sound like a kid!” she did sound a bit younger than she was, but whatever.

“Because you are a kid,” you chuckled. “Who else would play along with this joke?” your could tell she missed this too, even though you talked nearly every day. Still you haven't talked in three days so maybe she did have time to start missing this.

“Right,” you just knew she was rolling her eyes. “You're coming tomorrow, right?” she got to the point, and you could hear the excitement in her tone, but your smile fell from your lips. You wanted so desperately to see her, to hug her and spend time with her but the bruises from last night were still painful and you doubted it would get better by tomorrow.

But you would push through the pain because seeing her was more important than pretty much anything right now. Besides, you had the promise to keep, and you would be damned if you broke it. “Of course, Jen. I'll be there at around ten in the morning,” you told her, and you could imagine the grin on her face

“Great! I'll let you sleep now, rest well because I have plenty of things planned for tomorrow!” Jenna told you and you were tempted to ask her how well she slept. She was right though, you had to rest, so you would have to leave that for tomorrow.

“Sleep well, Jen,” you told her. “I'll see you tomorrow,” and with the simple ‘bye’ she hung up and you managed to pull yourself out of the stupor you were in just enough to turn the lights on and start getting ready for bed.

~X~

Jenna put her phone down on the night stand next to her bed, the smile on her face capable of illuminating the entire room.

“Someone looks happy,” Aliyah's teasing voice came from the bed above her, and Jenna rolled her eyes. “That was your crush wasn't it? That girl you worked with on Scream?” Jenna hated how right Aliyah was, but she wouldn't admit it. This satisfied tone of Aliyah’s voice was already a torture on its own and her younger sister did not need a confidence boost in that way.

“It was Y/N, but she is not my crush,” She wasn’t in denial, she really, well technically, wasn't lying. You really weren't her crush, you were more than a crush, she was pretty much in love and occasionally daydreaming about reuniting with you. She missed you, she missed eating breakfast with you, missed having you around at all times, missed snuggling up to you during the night as the two of you shared her bed. Her family was never going to find that part out, no matter what happened between the two of you.

“Really?” Aliyah leaned over her bed and smirked down at Jenna. “So how come you invited her over? You didn't do it with Maddie or with your other co-stars, I don't think you ever brought anyone from work here,” she pointed out that's one little annoying fact.

It really was true, she never brought anyone from work home, aside from her agent and Enrique, and some other people when they spent a while on her team, but her co-stars were never invited directly to her home. Sure her parents and some of her siblings would sometimes meet the people she filmed with, especially in her Disney days, but other than that this was definitely a first. She could still feel the blood rushing to her face making her blush so damn hard when she finally plucked up the courage to tell her parents you were coming over. In fact, the first one she told that was Enrique, and he teased the hell out of her, much like Aliyah was doing right now.

“She's just, I don't know, I feel deeper connection with her,” she tried to justify it, to explain why you were different without actually saying the words and admitting that she did in fact like you as more than a friend.

Aliyah studied her for a brief moment and for that brief period of time Jenna foolishly believed she would be left alone, that she could just turn around and try to fall asleep even though she was still very much struggling with her insomnia. It's gotten a lot worse since the two of you parted ways and she knew she would lay there awake for at least a few more hours. “You know you are going to confuse the hell out of that girl, don't you?” Aliyah suddenly said and Jenna nearly missed it.

“I'm sorry, what?” she didn't get what her sister was implying with that. She really wasn't aware of how she could possibly confuse you.

“Your book, dumbass,” and then it clicked, every single time she spoke of being in love with someone she didn't even leave it ambiguous, she wrote it as being in love with a guy, being with a guy. Back then that was actually more or less true, while she was writing her book she was still figuring everything out.

Granted, a lot of the final figuring shit out came with acknowledging how you made her feel, how much she wanted to be close to you and kiss you and feel your touch.

“Shit,” Jenna cursed under her breath. Aliyah laughed and only then did Jenna realize what she just implied.

“See? You like her!” there was nothing she could do to convince Aliyah she didn't. Deep down she thought that maybe she shouldn't, because it suddenly felt wrong to deny just how strong her feelings for you were.

“Fine, but you're wrong,” Jenna felt the blush engulfing her entire face as Aliyah raised an eyebrow, confused by the admission and what was in her mind probably a denial at the same time. “I don't have a crush on her, I actually think I’m in love,” she admitted and the grin on Aliyah’s face told her the confession was worth it. Her younger sister was completely fine with this.

Aliyah remained silent for a couple of minutes and Jenna thought she fell asleep, and then she went and said it. “Tell me if you need the room for yourself, okay?”

“Aliyah!” Jenna threw her pillow at the bottom of Aliyah’s bed, only for her sister to laugh and if she wasn’t already warm and comfortable Jenna would have seriously considered climbing up to Aliyah’s bed and smacking her. She did not need those thoughts making it even harder to fall asleep.

~X~

Several states away you actually dropped your phone on the floor. The pain in your body being almost too much to bear as you scrambled to open the bottle of painkillers. You downed two pills at once and swallowed them without even a drop of water before dropping the barely closed battle of pills next to you on the bed. You had to see Jenna tomorrow and yet you were still in so much pain, still so bruised and exhausted.

Jenna couldn't know. She couldn't notice anything, you wouldn't let her. If there was one thing you would absolutely make sure happened, it would be Jenna being spared from all of this. From your trauma, from your unhealthy habits, the fights and everything that came along with them, including the bruises and the pain. She was too gentle for all of this.

And you did not deserve it, yet you craved that gentleness and love radiating from her, and every time the guilt almost wrecked you for that need you just told yourself that you would stay far enough. That you would keep that distance and wouldn't cross the line and get involved with her more than you already were.

Come hell or high water Jenna would never know two things, that you were involved in the fights and how you felt about her.

~X~

It was relatively early when you came to Coachella Valley. You still felt some pain from the fight but you could hide it fairly well. No one could tell you were in pain by looking at how you walked or moved, as long as you didn’t do any physically demanding things, you would be fine. Jenna was perceptive though, so you wouldn't put it past her to figure out something was wrong. Luckily she was also about as far from pushy as one could get so while she might get suspicious she wouldn't push you into telling her what actually happened.

You managed to find a coffee shop Jenna told you about. And quite easily actually, you just walked up to a local and asked for directions and here you were. If everything was right, and you followed the directions correctly, you would just turn the corner and see the coffee shop. And you just stopped right there on the street. You would see Jenna very soon, maybe immediately after turning the corner.

There was a nasty voice inside of your head saying this wasn't fair to her, that if she knew what you did, she wouldn't want to have anything to do with you. That you were letting her put time and effort into a friendship that could very easily fall apart and turn into dust the moment the truth came out.

Yet you selfishly wished to see her, you wished to hold her and if it would be the very last time then so be it. You desperately clung to her, to this new bond you created with her, and you desperately hoped it wouldn't fade away. While simultaneously promising to yourself that if she at any point decided, for any reason, to cut contact with you that you would not blame her for one single second. With that in mind you turned the corner ready to face her.

The plan for today was simple, you and Jenna would meet up, hang out, maybe go for a walk so she could show you the place she grew up in, and then you’d go with her to her parents’ house for lunch. And depending on how things went and how much time you had left you would watch Logan with her.

You saw her waiting near the entrance, wearing a nice blue sweater and jeans, her hair was a bit wavy and of course she had her headphones around her neck. “Jen!” you called out to her and her face immediately lit up when she saw you. That same voice that was telling you you did not deserve this kind of reaction from her was getting more quiet by the second, silenced by how good it felt to see her once more. She met you in the middle of the street and immediately jumped into your arms, hugging you tightly and it felt so good to hold her again, even if your muscles protested when you lifted her up for a moment. You lowered her back to the ground and felt her tightening her hold on you as she got on her toes and kissed your cheek and that voice was silenced completely, at least for now.

You made wrong life choices, but you still deserved something good, right? Surely you haven't fallen that far down that you didn't deserve to be happy for one day without feeling guilty.

“It’s so good to see you, again,” she muttered, neither of you in a rush to end the hug just yet.

“You can say that again,” your voice came out in a shaky whisper, betraying your anxiety, but it could be written off as you just being overcome with happiness at seeing her again. Eventually though you had to let her go, you did have to keep in mind that someone might recognize Jenna if you stayed on the street for too long and so the two of you separated.

“Come on,” she still took your hand as you walked into the coffee shop and ordered your drinks.

Jenna picked out a secluded corner of the coffee shop so the two of you could talk in peace. You pulled a chair out for Jenna and bowed a bit, motioning toward it with a goofy grin on your face. Jenna rolled her eyes, used to some of your antics. She still sat down and let you push her chair closer to the table before sitting down. “How do you like Coachella so far?” she asked as she leaned forward a bit, her focus was solely on you, and you felt the intensity of her gaze.

“Verdict to be decided, but so far so good,” you told her as you damn near mirrored her posture, you definitely leaned closer to her.

“I’ll have to show you all the good places,” she made it clear that this wouldn’t be the only time she expected to have you visit her. And you were willing to bet she wanted you to spend more than half a day with her as well. Maybe book a hotel room and stay a few days, that would probably work.

Maybe you could actually do that. “I’ll be counting on you. So, any new projects?” you knew she couldn’t talk much about them, just clarify if she would be busy.

For some reason she was blushing and maybe it was due to the project she would do in the near future. “Yes, actually. I have a movie in New Zealand next year, probably around February, and some voice acting as well,” she didn’t say much, she couldn’t, but she did give you a bit of a timeline. Enough to know where she would be. “You?”

“Well, there is that psychological thriller in Italy. That's confirmed and if everything goes as planned that should be in January,” Jenna hummed when you said that, clearly supportive of the idea. You were much more relaxed about things you talked about. You certainly knew when to shut up, but this was Jenna, and you trusted her. Well, regardless of that, there really wasn’t anything about the plot revealed in what you said.

“I can’t wait to see you in that role,” she told you, genuinely happy for you. “It’s based on a book, right? Who is the author?”

“Donato Carrisi, wrote a bunch of books, including The House of Voices that the movie will be based on, though very loosely,” you told her and abruptly stopped talking as you noticed the girl working in the coffee shop bringing you your drinks.

You and Jenna thanked the girl, and you quickly paid before Jenna could even get the chance.

“Come on,” she rolled her eyes as she put away her wallet. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Some other time,” you winked at her and chuckled when she immediately looked down, she was so fun and easy to tease at times like these.

She cleared her throat. “Is there anything else you are looking into?”

You hesitated for a moment, but then figured, what the hell. “Hugh wants to do a movie together, and this script is kind of hitting close to home. I think that's intentional on his part, I auditioned for it, but we’ll see how it goes,” you might have said too much, not about the movie or the role, but about how close to home it hit

And, of course, Jenna picked up on it. “Close to home how?” she asked, she could see the slight hesitation and it probably worried her.

“Just,” you paused for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Mirrors my own relationship with Hugh quite a bit,” yeah, that will do. It wasn't a lie, it really did mirror that particular bond you had. “It's kind of complicated,” and then your eyes widened because it didn't sound right, in fact it sounded really wrong. “It's not like that!” you quickly sat up straight and raised your hand before Jenna could overthink things.

She looked startled by your sudden reaction, but she just tilted her head to the side, silently urging you to explain yourself.

Fuck, you should have paid more attention to what you were saying. “Look, whatever you're thinking, it's not a bad thing. It's just personal,” she relaxed at that and you could feel yourself calming down as well. “Hugh was there for me during a tough period of my life, and he's still a huge support for me, and the movie kind of has that kind of similar relationship between our characters. It just feels personal,” you tried to explain to the best of your ability without actually talking about what happened.

You just weren’t ready for that conversation, and this wasn’t the place for it either.

You could see a relief washing over Jenna when you said that and she sank back into her seat, as if all of the tension within her just fading away with those words. “OK, I was getting worried there for a second,” Jenna chuckled a bit, but you could tell it was still an uneasy chuckle, so you stood up and went to hug her from behind.

She immediately relaxed into the hug, and you found yourself cursing the chair for putting a barrier between you. “I'm OK, Jen, I'm fine,” you assured her, resting your chin on her shoulder and she turned slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Yeah?” she whispered, and you nodded not trusting your voice to say the words she wanted to hear.

Jenna hugged you back one of her hands reaching up around your neck while the other she placed on top of your hand. Neither of you noticed a phone pointed towards the two of you before you separated, and you went back to your seat.

“So, tell me about this place?” you suggested, and it got Jenna talking. Before you knew it, you were walking all around the place, seeing all the best spots as Jenna led you anywhere she thought you’d like. Which of course eventually led you to a park similar to the one you ended up hanging out in when you first met up to get to know each other better.

“Now this is kinda nostalgic,” you laughed as the two of you sat on a bench, and just looked at the sky. Well this time it wasn't the night sky and you couldn't see the stars, but the cloudy sky above you was fairly nice to look at as well. It looked a bit depressing, but at least it wasn’t raining.

“Yeah, I remember how much my mom panicked when I spent so much time with you the first time around,” Jenna blurted out and blushed as she remembered that night.

You just hummed and leaned your head back. “That actually sounds nice, embarrassing, but nice,” you said earning the light elbow to your side which nearly made you hunch over because she hit the bruise right in the center. You somehow managed to hide your pain by making the wince sound like fake. You were an actress, after all.

“Yeah sure, that hurt so much! Do you see any muscles on my arms?” Jenna teased and actually went and flexed her biceps, and well, she wasn’t joking.

The two of you laughed and then Jenna just leaned her head on your shoulder. “I really-“ she began but your phone suddenly rang and she paused waiting for you to pick it up.

You didn’t really feel like picking up, you were content like this. “It's fine, what were you about to say?” you encouraged her to keep talking, but she just pointed at your pocket silently telling you to pick up your phone. “Fine, fine,” you pulled your phone out and saw it was Barbara calling you.

You didn’t notice Jenna frowning a bit when she saw Barbara’s name on the screen.

“Yes? What is it?” you faked being annoyed though the smile on your face gave you away.

“Asshole says what?” oh, she was playing that game. You guessed you could humor her this once. You actually deserved it for everything.

“What?” you rolled your eyes.

Barbara’s laugh sounded hollow, and you made a mental note to talk to her and see what was wrong. “Ah, just forget about that. Where are you?” she asked and for a moment that guilt came back. Since the fight Barbara's been extra worried about you, even more so than usual, and you knew she probably just forgot that you were meeting up with Jenna today.

“I'm with Jenna in Coachella,” you told her and moved your phone away from your ear before pointing at the speaker and raising an eyebrow. Jenna nodded, giving you the permission to put Barbara on the speaker.

“She's with me, I'm Jenna, by the way,” Jenna confirmed, and you both heard a sigh of relief from the other side. And then you heard Barbara snickering. She was worried about you, which didn’t mean she could not tease you.

“Well now, that's-“ you knew where this was going and you had to stop it. You would not survive Barbara’s teasing right now.

“I am busy! Talk to you later! Bye! Do not call me again, I'll call you back!” you hastily hung up before she could reply, and Jenna just stared at you in utter disbelief. “Remember what Enrique did to you when we last met?” she nodded, blushing at the memory of all the times you and Enrique made her blush. “Barbara is much, much worse, trust me this was for the best,” the amount of teasing Barbara could dish out when she wanted was horrifying.

Jenna looked a bit disappointed. “I actually wanted to see that, it would be fun to see you flustered,” yeah, you figured that would be fair after all the teasing she endured. She’d likely get to see it, eventually, but not today. “Barbara is your best friend, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah, she is actually kind of like a sister to me. Barbara's family is a bit smaller than yours, but all of her siblings are a decade or more older than her, so she spent most of her time playing with me and not them,” you explained, thinking back to your childhood. It was almost a perfect match, you being an only child and Barbara’s siblings being that much older.

“And she's the one that was in your apartment when you came back from filming Scream?” Jenna asked a bit cautiously and you weren't sure why. The audio message was fairly clear. At least you believed it was.

“Yeah, she is that menace. The trespasser,” you replied, snickering as you remembered just how many times Barbara barged into your place. “I swear they were meant to name her barbaric, but someone mixed up the letters,” you noticed Jenna mood dropping and turned to see a frown on her face. You raised an eyebrow, genuinely confused. “What's wrong?” you asked gently.

“It's nothing, forget about it,” she dismissed it and even took it a step further and forced a smile. It didn’t suit her. In your mind Jenna should never have to force a smile.

“Please, let me fix what I did,” you leaned in closer and placed your hand on hers. “I said or did something to upset you.”

Jenna looked down and just pulled out her phone and the messages with you, and she scrolled up for a while which only made you more worried, until she reached the familiar photo you sent her and the audio message. Surprisingly she hit play.

“And this is the nuisance I found at home. Can you believe my luck? I wouldn't be surprised if she actually spent the two months at my apartment because that's just the way she is,” you cringed at the sound of your voice but then you looked at the message and saw it still had a long way to go until the end and your jaw dropped.

“Lies! All lies! Y/N loves having me around,” Barbara's voice came next, and that wasn’t how things were supposed to be! You could have sword you sent the message right after you finished talking. But there was no denying it, the message continued.

“You do know having someone around also means being there with them, and not in another state while you crash as their apartment, right?” and that wasn't the end yet and you cursed yourself for not paying attention back when you sent it. Still nothing either of you said was something worth getting worried about, especially for Jenna

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say babe,” oh… There it was.

“Fuck my life. God, that actually- this is the worst,” you buried your face in your hands and groaned out of frustration. “That's just a stupid inside joke. It doesn't mean anything, I swear it's just a stupid habit we picked up because I hated being called like that, and Barbara was being an annoying shit, and then it turned into an inside joke,” you tried to explain, fumbling slightly and overexplaining yourself, while at the same time missing Jenna smiling even brighter with every word of explanation you were giving her. And then it hit you.

Why were you explain yourself like Jenna was your girlfriend?

“You know we are just friends, right? You don't need to explain yourself to me,” Jenna pointed out and you desperately wanted the ground to open up underneath you and swallow you because that was right. You and Jenna were just friends!

And that meant…

You sat up straight an looked at her in disbelief, and she just burst out laughing. She got you good, the actress. “Unbelievable,” you shook your head, now more amused than anything that you fell for Jenna’s trick.

“Still, your best friend is beautiful, maybe I should get you to give me her number or something,” she did not just ask that of you.

And you did not suddenly feel jealous. Not in the slightest.

“Tough luck Ortega, Barbara is so straight you could use her as a spirit level,” you spoke dryly sending Jenna into another burst of laughter. “In fact, she is so straight she is like a black hole of straightness. She sucks straightness out of other people and becomes even straighter. It's a known fact and her constant struggle in love life stems from that. One day, when you meet her, she will confirm this story, there were so many examples of this,” it was funny the first several times, now it was just sad.

“Oh my God, you are such a goofball,” Jenna slapped your knee, and she looked at you, gasping for air as tears filled her eye from how hard she’s been laughing. “I really missed you,” she said and you pulled her in for an one-armed hug.

“I missed you too, more than you can imagine,” you told her.

~X~

One of the most nerve-wracking things about being a parent of a celebrity was just how many different people that child would meet and interact with. Sure, some of them were great and amazing, lovable people, but Natalie also got to know plenty of people who were the exact opposite. She was well-aware of just how many people weren’t actually on Jenna’s side, or even neutral. And she knew there was no way she knew everything, she knew Jenna was hiding things. From something as difficult to hide as her struggles with insomnia, to who knows what. Natalie didn’t dare to imagine. Jenna had grown to be very careful about who she let in, and this has never happened before. She has never invited a co-star to her home to meet all of them.

And now it was even raining. It wasn't that bad, but she knew Jenna didn't bring an umbrella along, so she just hoped the two of you stopped by somewhere and decided to wait it out.

So, understandably, she was nervous, fidgeting with the sleeves of her blouse. She met you briefly back when you and Jenna had the chemistry test and you seemed like a good kid, and from what Jenna told her, you were incredibly supportive throughout the filming of Scream.

“Jenna will be fine mom, you should have seen her this morning. She was panicking and going through her closet like crazy,” Aliyah, assured her but those words only brought even more worry to Natalie’s mind.

It was clear by now that Jenna didn't see you as a friend. That what her daughter felt were romantic feelings, and that scared her even more. Her baby had just turned eighteen mere months ago. And she knew how some people still were, she was worried that relationship with a woman would cause problems for Jenna.

And then a sound she didn't expect to hear echoed through the house. Jenna and someone else, clearly you, laughing. The laughter was unrestrained and free from the usual forced sounds Jenna made. Natalie got up, exchanging surprised glance with her husband just as Jenna and you walked into the living room with Jenna holding your hand as both of you still laughed. You were only wearing T-shirt, which wasn’t appropriate for this time of the year. A simple, plain dark green T-shirt that was now wet from the rain wouldn’t be enough to shield you from the cold, but one glance at Jenna explained everything. Jenna had a black and red jacket on, and it definitely wasn't her jacket. It was too big for Jenna, easily engulfing her smaller frame, so it was clearly your jacket.

“OK, that was unexpected,” you laughed and then as if being out of the rain bursts some bubble the two of you were in, you completely froze and looked around like a deer caught in the headlights. “Uh, hi,” you greeted them kind of awkwardly and Jenna lightly elbowed you on the side. “Right, sorry that was awkward,” you apologized, smiling at them. “It's nice meeting you all, I'm Y/N L/N,” you greeted them properly this time and it finally made her family get over the initial surprise and the first impression of you.

“I'm just going to drag her to my room and let her borrow one of dad's shirt,” Jenna grinned and took your hand, pulling you up the stairs before any of them could react properly.

“Jenna likes her,” Markus commented, and Aliyah snorted at that.

“You guys have no idea,” her youngest daughter said and the worst part about it was that Natalie believed her. After all, she was the one sharing bedroom with Jenna when Jenna came home, so if anyone would know, it would be Aliyah.

~X~

Jenna pulled you along to her bedroom, well her childhood bedroom to be precise, not realizing the disaster that was about to happen. All the excitement and emotions she was feeling right now made her forget the mess she left behind when she left this morning, so she opened the doors and froze, causing you to bump slightly into her. The room was a mess, it looked like a tornado went through it, her bed was covered by different articles of clothing different shirts and tops and skirts and jeans and everything else and her chair wasn't doing any better. The pile on top of it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her entire closet was messily arranged all over every surface she could have used.

You could not be allowed to see this, but then she realized you were right behind her and curse you, you were much taller than her. So, there was no going back right now, she hung her head in shame and pulled you in. “It's not like this all the time, I swear. I was just nervous this morning,” she tried to save face and she was telling the truth! Just last night the room was perfectly clean, but this amount of mess really wasn’t making her look good. “Fuck, what are you going to think about me now?” she buried her face in her hands in frustration and shame and then felt your hands around her waist pulling her back into you.

“You're good, it's kind of endearing actually,” you whispered in her ear. “Just breathe,” she barely even recognized the early signs of a panic attack though this definitely would have caused one. Yet you caught on to them immediately and she felt herself calming down bit by bit. “I'm flattered,” you admitted as she leaned her head back on your shoulder. She’s been missing this ever since you both went home. This feeling when you were close to her, holding her, she took a deep breath, calming down.

“I swear, you are too calm sometimes,” she put her hands over your hands and leaned back, looking up so she could look you in the eyes. There it was, that gentle, loving look, and she could almost see herself getting up to her toes and kissing you. She restrained that urge and reluctantly pulled away from you to take off the jacket you gave her, you really were a lifesaver, as this sweater would be a pain in the ass to dry. She cleared out some space on her chair and hung the jacket over it. You insisted on giving her your jacket even though it probably would have been more fair if she was the one who had to change clothes now. As it was, she was perfectly dry since your jacket had the hood on it and you were wet from the rain. “You need anything else aside from shirt?” Jenna asked and you looked yourself over.

“No, it's all good just a shirt and then I'll go and dry my hair if you don't mind,” your hair wasn't all that wet it was mostly just damp from the rain so there was some luck. At least you wouldn’t get sick and she wouldn’t have to kick herself for not paying more attention to the weather forecast last night.

“Right, I could have just taken you to the bathroom right away, but no you had to see this mess,” she lamented and went to her parents room to grab her dad's shirt and a towel for you.

“Hush you, I just made the worst first impression in the history of first impressions,” she could tell you believed that, but you actually did the opposite. Their first impression of you was her laughing, their first impression of you was you in a T-shirt with Jenna wearing your jacket. That wasn't a bad first impression, that was anything but that in one simple moment you proved to her family that Jenna could be comfortable with you, and that you put her needs above your own. So what if you went and greeted them a bit awkwardly?

“Sure, keep telling yourself that. They are going to love you,” she told you as she handed you the shirt and the towel and pointed at the bathroom “Now I’ll go and clean up my room a bit and you can bring the shirt to my room,” she had a mischievous smile on her face as she poked you. “And I'm keeping it, just so you know. Both the shirt and the jacket, so you have an excuse to come over again,” she winked at you, and you just shook your head.

“Like I need an excuse to come and visit you,” the smile on your face told her everything and before her emotions could get the better of her and she acted on certain urges she occasionally had throughout the day, she pushed you into the bathroom and rushed back to her room to start folding all of the clothes she left lying around.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @freakshow2501 @osnapitzmel1 @belatrixdragon @ijustlovemaths

@niqmandu @justspance @mirage018

Masterlist / First Part / Previous part / Next part

A/N: Guess who did some brief research and found out that underground street fight clubs aren’t always illegal? 🤣🤣 That’s right! Me! Anyway, to be perfectly honest, I planned on posting two chapters at once tonight, but then I figured that was ridiculous, so here, a slightly longer chapter for you all. (Chapter 8 was supposed to be Jenna and Reader hanging out, so original chapter 7 would have felt a lot angstier without that half)

#jenna ortega x female reader #jenna ortega x reader #x reader #x female reader

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concreteangel92 · 3 months ago

Text

Thou Shalt Not Kill - Chapter 10

Pairing: AU - Noah Sebastian x female detective reader

18+

Summery: Reader is a detective and is assigned to a murder case which she soon connects with previous killings and figures out the religious affiliation, proving there is a new serial killer within the city. Reader soon becomes obsessed with the killers mind and methods and won’t rest until she figures out who the killer is. All while she gets used to working with her new partner on the case, detective Noah Davis.

Warnings: talks of death, talks of murder/killings, use of religion, stockholm syndrome, smut, PiV, choking, fingering, dom/sub relationship, bad language (I think that’s it!)

Right here we go, after 5 weeks I’ve finally finished this chapter, it’s a fairly long one but I hope it’s worth the wait!! As always I’d love to hear your thoughts and I hope you all enjoy and I promise it won’t be as long of a wait for chapter 11 🖤

Tags: @Ima1986 @hayleylatour @thatchickwiththecamera @calleyx13 @english-fucker @malerieee @ithoughtbynowidfeelbetter @softvgold @lilhobgobbler @glccmreid @badomensls @madomens @loeytuan98 @iluvmewwwww75 @rosebushjhj @livingdeceasedgirl @lilrubles @samanthasgone @blackveilomens @hellayeahsworld @lookwhatitcost @doomhands-jr @nojoyontheburn @poisongirl616 @bakanerd @sacredthefran @flowery-mess

If you want to be added to the tag list then let me know!

Chapter Index Here

Masterlist Here

Noah didn’t return until the next day after the kiss you’d shared.

When he came through the door that morning carrying a tray with your breakfast on it, you felt as though you were an awkward teenager seeing their crush again after an embarrassing blunder. It was stupid, it shouldn’t have happened, it was wrong…wasn’t it?

“He’s been nothing but the perfect gentleman to me, maybe he does genuinely care? Maybe we can find a way out of this”

Your thoughts were all over the place, your mind was racing a thousand miles per hour. Why do you care?

“I don’t care…Noah is a criminal and it’s my job to catch the bad guys…but…is he really the bad guy or just a victim himself?”

You ran your fingers through your hair, untangling some of the knots that had formed in your sleep, you chewed on your lip in an anxious attempt to make sense of everything.

“You still with us detective?”

You glanced up and saw the amused smirk he wore on his face as he set the tray down on the bed next to you before he sat himself on the edge of the mattress.

“Deep in thought are we?”

Your cheeks flushed pink as you looked away from him, clearly being caught with your inner turmoil.

“No”

Your abrupt response pulling a low chuckle from his chest.

“Sure? Then why do you resemble a blushing school girl right now?”

Noah had leant his body towards yours, his smirk only growing bigger as he looked down at you.

“I’m not!”

“Is this about last night? No need to be embarrassed about that”

You shook your head, your cheeks feeling even warmer than before as you avoided his gaze.

“That was a mistake”

“Was it?”

You looked back at Noah while nodding your head.

“Yes, it shouldn’t have happened”

You could see the amusement in his eyes.

“Really? If I recall you didn’t pull away detective, you actually initiated the first move”

“He’s not wrong, I was touching his neck tattoo, who does that?”

“I think you’re just afraid”

You sat up straight and glared at him.

“I’m not frightened of you!”

Noah chuckled, his whole body language signalling he was relaxed and at ease.

“Frightened of your feelings for me detective. Why? What is it that’s so difficult for you to come to terms with?”

His eyes softened, like he was genuinely curious for your answer, like he actually cared.

“You’re a sadistic murderer, what more needs to be said?”

Noah shrugged in jest. “I prefer the term…artistic killer. Besides, those people had it coming, the world will lose no sleep over them”

A shiver ran down your spine, he truly has no remorse for his actions, he was proud of what he’s accomplished.

“My point”

“But you are attracted to me, you can’t deny that. I understand you detective, more than anyone else ever could, I see so much potential in you, would letting yourself go really be so terrible?”

You felt your brows knit together in confusion at his wording.

“Let go to what?”

Noah leant in closer, you could feel his warm breath ghosting your face as he spoke.

“Letting go to me, to this, to who you are meant to be. You have something special within you, I can see it and I can help you reach your full potential that everyone else has been holding you back from”

His words washed over you like tidal wave, the passion in his voice was evident.

“I…I don’t understand”

Noah’s lips hovered over yours, his eyes becoming half lidded as he scanned your face.

“You will angel, I promise”

Almost against your will, you felt yourself leaning forward….for Noah to pull back leaving the air cold around you and he got up and walked out of the room, the locks echoing in your ears.

••••••

The next few days went in its normal routine, Noah would bring you food and your clean clothes, he’d disappear during the day which you assumed was him going to work. He’d then return in the early evening to sit with you and talk over dinner, he’d even started reading some chapters of the book you were reading with you.

It was a strange dynamic, in these moments it was easy to see him as the friend and the source of comfort he had become. He gave you stimulation when you thought you were going insane and the companionship when you felt lonely.

This routine was something you were getting very used to, so you noticed straight away when he started to act different.

Noah would start to turn up a bit later than normal or he wouldn’t stay long once you’d eaten, claiming he had work to do but never elaborating on what.

This new behaviour had been going on for 3 days now, you wracked your brain to try and figure out what he was up to but you really had nothing to go on.

Today however you decided you were going to ask him.

You were both sitting on the bed as normal and Noah had been reading from your book aloud until you interrupted him.

“What have you been doing each night?”

Noah stopped reading and turned his attention to you.

“You’ll have to be a bit more specific angel, what am I doing here? What am I doing when I’m alone?”

You didn’t miss the innuendo on the latter which you chose to ignore.

“No. Why do you leave early or not turn up until later? Is it something to do with work?”

Noah closed the book and placed it on the table before he turned his body towards you.

“It’s nothing to do with the station if that’s what you were thinking. I’m just….sorting out something very…special”

“What do you mean special?”

You leant forward, his words intriguing your curiosity.

“Well that would be telling now wouldn’t it?” Noah lifted his hand slightly and ran his fingers across the back of yours, your skin tingling under his touch. “But I can say that it’s something very special for you”

“For me?”

He nodded and the same hand that had been tracing patterns on yours, came up and made its way into your hair, tucking it behind your ear.

“It’s something I’ve had planned for you for a while angel, and the time is nearly right for you to have it”

Confusion wracked your mind as you tried to think of what it could be.

“Like a gift?”

“Yes like a gift. Something that I know you deserve and I’m just waiting for the right moment”

The feeling of his hand in your hair was almost soothing, he’d definitely picked up on the fact that it relaxed you and he’d started doing it every so often, normally if you were reading together or when you were discussing something and it was almost like he done it automatically now, like it brought him the same comfort.

“Why can’t you tell me now? Why are you getting me a gift?”

Noah simply smiled. “Because you deserve it angel”

•••••

The sound of his boots coming down the stairs perked you up, sitting yourself up and moving over to swing your legs off the bed, you waited.

Time had gone out of the window these days, you could only guess based on the light, or lack of, coming through the small window above. It was dark out at the moment, Noah was extremely late tonight and that was very unusual for him so you were very curious as to where he had been.

You heard the locks turning and the door swung open to reveal Noah stood there, what you wasn’t expecting was his face being covered by his black ski mask and gloves on his hands.

“Noah?”

Noah seemed to ignore your shock and almost appeared to skip into the room, if a man of his size was capable of doing that in such a way, clearly very pleased with himself this evening as he pulled the mask from his head, his hair falling straight back into place.

“I have good news angel, I’ll be able to give you your gift very soon”

The smile he wore was similar to a kid at Christmas, whatever he was planning, he was obviously excited about.

“And do I get any clues as to what this gift may be?”

Noah came and sat down beside you, taking his gloves off as he did and you felt the movement bouncing you up slightly.

“And ruin the surprise, no. But I have everything I need to get it for you”

“I’m not really a fan of surprises”

Your hands fiddled with the hem of your shirt, the thought of Noah being this excited had you nervous.

“What is going to happen to me Noah? You can’t keep me locked down here forever right?”

Noah’s hand reached into yours and laced your fingers together.

“I don’t intend to. I told you, I have plans for you”

“And what are these plans? I’ve been down here for god knows how long and nothing! What is it that you want from me?!”

Once again, Noah brought his hand up and he caressed your cheek.

“I know it’s been hard. Believe me, I take no pleasure in seeing you distressed, but I’m here for you, have I not been very kind to you under the circumstances?”

You thought about everything he had done for you, bringing you food and water, bringing you clean clothes and even items from your flat to keep your mind occupied. You thought about all the evenings he’s sat with you and you’ve chatted, probably more than what you should have. Over the weeks you’d told him about most of your life, the highs and lows, he knew your likes and dislikes and your goals for the future. In return he’d opened up to you, at least as much as he was willing to tell.

In some ways he’d been the perfect gentleman, a good friend even.

“You have….I just don’t understand what it is that you want?”

“You. Just you angel, that’s all I want”

You felt tears form in your eyes, you couldn’t deny that you had feelings for him, you’d had them for a while now, long before you were stuck down here and hearing his words made your heart feel heavy.

“And all I wanted was you”

The hand on your cheek slipped behind your head and onto your neck as he brought his head forward.

“Then you can have me”

Noah pressed his lips onto yours softy, almost like he was worried he’d frighten you off, you didn’t pull away, instead you leaned into him more.

Noah detached his lips briefly and rested his forehead against yours.

“Tell me that this is what you want angel”

You stared into eyes and only saw your friend, your partner looking back at you and in that moment, you decided to let yourself go.

“I want you Noah”

The words came out as barely a whisper but that was all Noah needed to hear before he kissed you again, this time moving his body over to yours and holding your head in his hands.

The kiss soon started to become more dominant on his part as he started to deepen it, his tongue slipping into your mouth to run it along yours as his hands started to undress you.

You knew it was wrong, every fibre of your being knew that this was wrong, but as each article of clothing was removed and you felt his hands causing a fire to ignite over your skin, you simply didn’t care, you wanted to be his.

Before you knew it, you had been stripped bare and was straddling his legs, pressing yourself down onto his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck as you continued to kiss him.

You pulled back and lifted his shirt away from his body and rolled your hips over his, causing your eyes to close as the beautiful friction it created. Noah certainly enjoying the view.

“Feeling a bit needy are we?”

His arrogant smirk he wore only turning you on more, he was so cocky, so confident within himself and you couldn’t help but want to submit to him.

You nodded your head, your voice lost, all you could think about was how your pussy was aching for him.

“Want me to help you baby?”

You nodded again and went to kiss him again but he put a finger to your lips and stopped you, you felt that same hand go down and he wrapped it around your throat, squeezing just enough to start blocking your airway.

This should have frightened you, he’d killed so many people with these hands, but that thought only made your pussy clench more for him.

Noah reached his other hand down and ran his fingers across your outer lips, very carefully circling around where you wanted him the most before he slid one of his fingers in, the feeling of your walls finally being able to grip onto something had you crying out.

“Look at me, eyes on me”

You looked into his dark eyes, they were completely blown out as he stared at you, studying every expression on your face as he started to move his finger inside you.

“You’re so wet angel, does it turn you on knowing what these hands have done? What I could do to you?”

Every part of you wanted to respond with a sassy comeback but hearing his deep voice whispering those words, your body answered for you as your walls clenched down on him harder causing Noah to have a wicked grin.

“Oh that’s definitely a yes, that’s my dirty girl”

Your hips started to move with his hand and you gripped onto his arm for support as he tightened his hold on your throat, the lack of air was making your head spin deliciously.

“Who do you belong to?”

Noah slipped a second finger inside and his pace quickened, your stomach started to twist and contract as your high started to build.

“Yo..you, fuck I belong to you!”

You choked out the words, you felt the need to close your eyes as you felt your thighs start to shake involuntarily.

“I said, eye on me!”

Your eyes snapped back open, your grip on his arms was no doubt leaving nail marks in his skin.

“You do belong to me, every part of you is mine”

You could feel your orgasm approaching, you couldn’t stop the moans as your body felt like it was wound so tight, you just needed something more, something Noah knew as he reached his thumb up and started to run circles over your clit as his fingers still kept their pace.

“Come on beautiful, make a mess over me”

And you did, it wracked through your body as your orgasm washed over you in waves, Noah’s hand not leaving your throat completely but he loosened his grip to allow you to breathe again as you shook in his arms.

Once you started to come down, you pushed his hand away from your core as you felt how sensitive you’d become.

Noah simply slipped his fingers out and brought them to your mouth.

“Open”

You immediately opened your mouth as he made you clean yourself off his fingers as you sucked on them.

You relaxed into his lap and could feel how hard he was underneath you, that feeling only making you needy for him.

“You look heavenly when you cum angel, I don’t know how I’m got so lucky”

You blushed but didn’t miss the irony of his words, a small smile forming on your lips as you leant forward to kiss him.

Noah returned it before he started to manoeuvre your body back onto the bed.

“Now be a good girl and get on your hands and knees, ass up for me”

You let your body fall to the mattress as you lifted your hips into the air, making sure to arch your back, hearing his groan of approval as you heard him strip himself of the rest of his clothes.

“Mine. You’re all mine”

You nodded your head as you pressed your cheek into the mattress as you felt his hands on your hip and the head of his cock line up with your entrance, he moved his hand up and spread your cheeks apart as he slid himself in.

The feeling of how full you felt was mind numbing, he was so big and you could feel every inch of him in this position, you gripped the sheets as you moaned loudly, matching Noah who’s fingers had dug themselves into the flesh of your ass.

“Shit….you were fucking made for me”

Noah wasted no time in pulling his hips back and slamming them into yours, his thrusts were hard and deep, his hands pulling your hips up even higher.

It was hard and fast but it felt absolutely incredible, Noah wasn’t shy about letting himself be heard, he was gripping you so hard you knew you’d have bruises the next day but you loved it.

The sound of skin on skin and your own wetness filled the room, you cried out his name as you silently asked him for more.

“Touch yourself for me, make yourself cum”

You knew you wouldn’t last long, you could feel your orgasm approaching, so you reached your own hand down and started to stimulate your over sensitive clit, the added pressure, along with his unrelenting pace was enough to have you screaming as you felt your second orgasm hit you, your eyes squeezed shut and your toes curled as you allowed yourself to fall.

Noah’s thrusts became more erratic as he let out an animalistic growl as you felt hot ropes of cum paint your walls.

Your body went limp on the mattress as Noah held his weight off of you but still fell onto your back, his breath warm on your shoulder.

He kissed the skin under him before he slipped himself out, the empty feeling almost making you feel cold as he collapsed next to you.

As you rolled over to face him, he looked so relaxed, like all the tension had left his body and in that moment, it was so easy to forget who he truly was.

Noah opened his eyes and looked over to you as he reached his arm out to pull you closer and gave you a very gentle kiss on your forehead.

You knew you were truly a goner, you knew you were his.

Chapter 11

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens band #bad omens cult #noah sebastian davis #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfiction #thou shalt not kill #noah bad omens #noah sebastian imagine #noah sebastian smut #concreteangel92

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tikosblogg · 5 months ago

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My Brothers Best Friend..

Summary: Noah is your brother’s best friend, that you happen to have a huge crush on.

Warning: smut….thats all, with some plot tho.

A/N: Bestfriend Noah is my number one trope, but gotta love brothers Bestfriend too😅❤️ this is the hair I imagine Noah with in this.

As people shuffled from one table to the next I sat at our usual spot, at our favorite lunch spot in town, my heart racing as I glimpsed at the love of my life, Noah Sebastian Davis striding over with effortless confidence, his inked arms moving in rhythm with his laughter. His hair falling around his dark eyes, and every time he flashed that charming smile, it left me breathless.

“Hey, Kitty” he called out, his voice teasing, as he ruffled my hair. I rolled my eyes, trying to mask the fluttering in my stomach. To everyone else, it might seem like just a nickname. But to me, it felt like a secret between us, a small bond forged in the teasing that had become routine.

“Don’t call me that,” I whined, patting down my hair trying to keep my tone flat, but I could feel the corners of my mouth betraying me, threatening to break into a smile.

“Aw, come on!” Noah leaned against the table, his tattoos on display like a gallery of artistry. “It’s cute.”

“Not cute. Annoying,” I shot back, although I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I didn’t know how to explain to him that every time he called me “Kitty,” my heart raced, my panties dampened and I felt everything shift into a different dimension.

My twin brother Tyler, seated across from me, smirked knowingly. “He’s just messing with you, Katy. You know how he is.”

“Yeah, well tell him to pick on someone his own size!” I snapped, though my tone was lighthearted.

Noah laughed, a rich, deep sound that made the corners of my stomach flutter. “But you’re the funnest target!” He poked a fork into my plate playfully, stealing a piece of my lunch. “And admit it, you love the attention.”

“Ha yeah..,” I muttered, more to myself than to him. The truth was, I loved this attention too much. It was infuriating and intoxicating all at once. I watched as Noah leaned over the table, a mischievous glint in his eyes, clearly enjoying our playful banter.

“See?” he said, a triumphant gleam in his eyes. “Admitting it is the first step. Next, we’ll work on accepting it.”

Before I could retort, he waggled his eyebrows in that infuriatingly adorable way of his, and I felt heat bloom in my cheeks again. I couldn’t help it – he was beautiful, all sharp angles and easy laughter, covered in stories told through ink.

Tyler asked for the check, signaling that he’s ready to get the hell out of here, Noah stood up and shared a knowing glance with me. “we’re rehearsing tomorrow at my place, you should come with Ty. I’ll show you some new songs we’ve been working on, I need more opinions.”

My heart did a little jump. I had been to his rehearsals with Tyler before, where the music pulsed through me, and the electric energy of the band’s passion radiating off him. I loved watching him lose himself in the music, his eyes lighting up as he sang.

“Yeah, maybe,” I said noncommittally, though the flutter in my chest made me want to say yes immediately.

Noah looked at me long enough that I felt my heart race again. “Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“Fine!” I threw my hands up, relenting. “I’ll come, but only if you promise not to call me ‘Kitty’ the entire time.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “Not happening, kitty.”

As he walked over to the front counter with Tyler, I couldn’t shake the hopeful feeling blooming inside me. Noah was my brother’s best friend, and there were boundaries I probably shouldn’t cross, yet this connection between us felt electric and alive.

I reclined on my bed, scrolling aimlessly through my phone It was a quiet, typical evening at home for me. The sunlight poured through the half-closed curtains, casting a gentle glow on the pale pink walls of my room. The day had been uneventful, and I found myself daydreaming much more than scrolling through social media posts.

Suddenly, I heard two deep, familiar voices yelling from downstairs, their laughter piercing through the tranquility of my sanctuary. Curiosity turned my laziness into movement; I dropped my phone down to my chest, my heartbeat quickening. What on earth was happening? Before I had the chance to investigate, my bedroom door swung open, swinging nearly off its hinges. I let out a startled shriek.

Standing in the doorway were Tyler and Noah, the two most chaotic forces in my life. Tyler’s expressive face was full of mischief, and Noah—gorgeous, tattooed Noah—grinned widely, the corners of his lips curling up as if he had a secret that only I could unveil.

“Surprise!” They yelled, almost in unison.

In a flash, Noah leaped onto my bed, landing right on top of me. I was engulfed in a storm of laughter and confusion as I was instantly pinned down by Noah’s hands, his fingers darting into my sides, tickling me mercilessly. I squirmed beneath him, half-giggling, half-screaming, my laughter echoing in the confines of my room.

“Tyler, help!” I gasped between bursts of laughter.

But Tyler merely bounced up and down on the edge of my bed, brandishing a pillow like a sword, and began swatting at me with it. “You can’t escape! This is what you get for being moody towards us all day!”

Amidst the chaos, I felt the familiar fluttering in my stomach when Noah’s fingers brushed my skin, an electric warmth that set my cheeks ablaze. There was nothing more maddening than feeling trapped under Noah while knowing the reason behind my blushing cheeks had nothing to do with the tickling. As he caught my gaze, there was a moment—just a moment—where I thought he might be having the same thoughts. But then I was thrown back into the whirlwind of laughter as they finally relented and let me sit upright, gasping for breath.

"Okay, okay! What do you want?” I managed to ask, still catching my breath.

“We’re ordering pizza and picking up some beers to watch the UFC fight tonight, and we obviously need someone to help us make fun of the guys getting punched in the face,” Tyler announced, a cheeky grin plastered across his face. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

I raised an eyebrow, pretending to contemplate. “Pizza and UFC?”

“Uh-huh,” Tyler chimed in, nudging Noah with his elbow, earning an exaggerated eye roll from him.

“Join us, Kitty,” Noah said, his voice low and inviting, making my heart pitter-patter against my ribcage.

Finally, I nodded, unable to resist their playful enthusiasm. “Alright, I’m in.”

The boys whooped and hollered, and it was as if my protestations didn’t matter at all. They bounded out of my room like the glimmering stars out of my reach, leaving me with the heady blend of embarrassment and giddiness.

Once they departed, I leaned back against my bed, taking a moment to collect my jumbled thoughts. I couldn't remember a time when Noah’s presence didn’t invoke butterflies in my stomach. He was everything I admired—incredibly talented, with his music echoing through our quiet neighborhood from the garage two houses down from our home. Sometimes I’d eavesdrop on their band practicing, losing myself in his raspy yet melodic voice. Those moments felt like brief glimpses into the life I wished I could share more intimately.

The playful bickering between Tyler and Noah brought a smile to my face as I dressed quickly, donning my favorite band tee and a pair of comfy jeans. I didn’t want to look too made-up — I just wanted to be comfortable around them. The anticipation of spending the evening with Noah and my brother filled my head with daydreams of laughter and joy. It also brought the slightest hints of anxiety; what if Noah tried to talk to me while Tyler was distracted? What if I accidentally blurted out how I felt?

“Do you ever stop thinking?” I muttered to myself as I ran a brush through my hair. Perhaps that was my problem—overthinking everything.

I skipped down the stairs, joining the boys just as they returned with a stack of cheese pizzas and a case of beer. Noah looked up and caught my eye, flashing that breathtaking smile that could light up the darkest corners of my worries.

“Look who decided to join us! Katy finally freed herself from her phone.” Tyler teased, shooting me a playful wink.

“Yup, I’m here for the pizza,” I said, smirking.

“Good, because I’m starving!” Noah replied, plopping down on the couch. I settled into the space beside him, my stomach flipping nervously, but my heart raced with a euphoric thrill.

As evening wore on, laughter filled the room, intertwining with the excitement of the fight on the screen. There was a playful dynamic between Tyler and Noah that pulled me into their world, and I loved every second of it — especially being so close to Noah.

It wasn’t until he leaned towards me, sharing popcorn and a honeyed comment about a knockout punch, that I felt my heart race again. His arm brushed against mine, sending shockwaves through me, and I glanced sideways, catching a glimpse of him studying me for a split second. The moment felt suspended in the air, fragile yet electric. A thrill surged through me, whispering that maybe, just maybe, the butterflies I felt weren't one-sided..

My brother was the life of any party, but tonight he was immobilized in the recliner, a sixth beer consuming him like a heavy blanket. I couldn’t suppress the chuckle that escaped my lips as I watched him and the way he was sprawled out, snoring softly, blissfully unaware of the world spinning around him.

The living room was engulfed in darkness, save for the flickering light of the television, the only witness to the silence that enveloped the house. My heart raced as I shifted my gaze to Noah, who was sitting beside me. His tattooed hands rested casually on his thighs, the dim light showcasing the intricate designs that danced along his skin. I often wondered what stories each tattoo told, but my own story was simpler. I watched Noah, admiring the way he simply existed.

Awkwardness washed over me. My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my shirt as I glanced over at him, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. Should I say something? Do something? With Tyler out for the count, my usual social safety net was gone, leaving me feeling exposed, vulnerable. Maybe the best course of action was to get up and distract myself; I stood up abruptly, shaking off the nerves that crept up on me.

“I’m gonna clean up,” I announced, more to fill the silence than anything else. I walked toward the kitchen, my heartbeat thudding loudly in my ears. I wasn’t afraid of the dark, but with only the glow of the TV behind me, the shadows felt alive, wrapping around me like a second skin. I focused on the trash can, tossing in the empty beer cans and the remnants of our late-night snacks, but my mind wasn’t on that. It was racing somewhere else.

Suddenly, I heard shuffling behind me. Startled, I spun around, half-expecting an intruder. Instead, it was Noah, slipping into the kitchen like a shadow. I huffed out a laugh, hand clutching my chest as I felt the adrenaline course through me.

“You scared me,” I said, mustering a teasing tone, though the truth was my heart raced for entirely different reasons. He gave a small, sheepish smile that sent flutters racing through my stomach.

“Sorry,” he replied quietly, his voice low and soothing. My cheeks heated as he reached up, brushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. The simple act sent electrifying shivers down my spine, and I nearly forgot how to breathe.

His gaze bore into me, filled with an intensity that made the world around us fade away. He stepped closer, invading my personal space in a way that made my throat dry. I looked up at him, suddenly feeling small and fragile under the weight of his presence.

“What’s wrong, kitty?” His voice dropped to a whisper, and that simple nickname for me danced like a feather against my skin. I found myself frozen in place, staring at him, at those dark eyes that held unsaid promises and secrets. Butterflies erupted in my stomach, the kind I had only ever read about in stories.

“I—uh…” My words stuttered out, falling flat as I felt a rush of heat wash over me. In that moment, I could barely think straight. My heart pounded, thrumming against my ribcage as I stood there, caught in a moment that felt suspended in time.

Noah shifted slightly, the warmth radiating off him pulling me in like a moth to a flame. His fingers danced along my lips, tracing a path that set my nerves ablaze. “Fuck, you’re so pretty,” he breathed, the words wrapping around me like a warm embrace.

His voice, low and husky, ignited something deep within me, something I had kept hidden beneath layers of shyness and uncertainty. I whimpered, both in surprise and in longing. I wanted to reach out and pull him closer, to bridge the divide that felt both exhilarating and terrifying, but instead, I stood still, swept away by the gravity of the moment.

Then, just as quickly as it had begun, he pulled back, that boyish grin blooming on his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he winked, that familiar spark in his eyes still illuminated by our connection. And with that, he vanished back into the living room, leaving me behind in the dark kitchen, breathless.

When I took a moment to collect myself, I leaned against the cold countertop, my heart still racing. The encounter played over and over in my mind, each detail electrifying me like a surge of caffeine. Noah had chosen to reach out, to bridge the gap between us, and my shyness suddenly felt like a hurdle I was desperate to overcome.

What had just happened? Did he really mean what he said? The thought sent my mind reeling. I could only hope that he did, that behind those tattoos and carefree laughter, he felt the same pull toward me that I had felt toward him.

The soft glow of the setting sun filtering through my curtains cast a warm golden hue across the room. Everything felt surreal—my thoughts tangled like the fairy lights draped around my bedside. I had spent the entire afternoon consumed with worry, anxiety pulsing through me like a restless current. I decided not to go to Noah’s band practice with Tyler today. After what had happened between us last night, I could hardly bear the thought of being around him.

I flung myself onto my bed, a flurry of sheets and pillows engulfing me. The warmth of the memory rushed back: how his deep voice had murmured in my ears, “what’s wrong Kitty?,” and how his gaze had felt like fire, igniting something within me that I had desperately tried to keep contained. All night, I had replayed the fantasy of his lips against mine, imagining the taste of him, the softness contrasted with the rough edges of his skin. I buried my face in my pillow, smothering a small whimper. This was torture.

The clock on my wall read 6 PM. I knew their practice should be over soon, but it felt like a lifetime ago that I decided to skip out. Anxiety coiled in my stomach, squeezing tightly. With no other options in sight, I padded into the bathroom. The shower washed away the weight of my thoughts, leaving only the comforting sound of water cascading around me.

After a thoroughly long soak, I wrapped a towel around myself and stepped into my room, feeling slightly lighter—a moment of respite, perhaps, but short-lived. My heart nearly stopped when I saw him: Noah, sitting on the edge of my bed, clad in his usual black hoodie that hugged his powerful form, the tattoos peeking out like art pieces on a stark canvas on his throat. He had an annoyed look on his face, and I couldn’t help but let out a small shriek of alarm, hand flying to my chest.

“You have to stop scaring me like that!” I huffed, heart racing as I registered his intense scrutiny. He didn’t respond. Instead, his gaze lingered on me, and I felt a flush creep up my cheeks. I awkwardly stood at the edge of the bathroom door, half embarrassed, half entirely captivated.

“Why didn’t you come with Tyler?” he asked, his deep voice rumbling through the space, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine.

“I… I was tired,” I managed to stutter, avoiding his gaze. But I felt him watching me, studying me—all of me. There was something almost predatory in the way he was looking at me, like I had become the only thing he could see in the world. I could feel a knot of tension tightening in the air, and it was thick enough to cut with a knife. Noah didn’t seem convinced.

“Really?” His brow raised in disbelief, and he motioned me towards him with his fingers, a simple yet commanding gesture. I walked cautiously, my heart racing and instinct screaming to turn back. As I approached, he grabbed my hips, pulling me to stand between his thighs. There was something intoxicating about the closeness, something electrifying as our bodies aligned and we nearly became face to face.

“I’ll ask you one more time.” he murmured, his hands sliding up under the towel, brushing against the bare skin of my hips. Time seemed to hold its breath.

The reality of the situation hit me, ambushing all my reasoning. “Noah…,” I whispered, but I didn’t know what I was trying to say. He was so close, my skin tingling as I realized how dangerously little space there was between us. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to kiss him, to feel the soft warmth of his lips against mine.

“Why didn’t you come?” he repeated, his tone more insistent now, tinged with an awareness of the game we were playing. His hands paused on my hips, the tension coiling tighter, as he searched my eyes for an answer.

I weighed my options. I could tell him the truth—that I was terrified of my feelings, the longing that turned into a burning urge whenever he was near. Or I could gather my courage…and show him.

In a sudden rush of bravery, I leaned forward and pulled him into a heated kiss, our lips crashing together with a passionate urgency that had been building for far too long. It was as if a dam had broken, and the secret yearning that I had held within was finally free.

He responded immediately, his hands tightening around my waist as he deepened the kiss. I melted into him, feeling his warmth envelop me, and my heart raced even faster. It was chaotic and beautiful, every nerve in my body alight with electricity. I could taste the ink and warmth of his skin, both sweet and forbidden.

We pulled apart, breathless and eyes wide. Noah’s dark eyes searched mine, a mix of surprise and desire flickering across his face. He slowly dragged my towel off of me, letting it fall at our feet. I gasped, my cheeks flaring with heat, but he pulled me down onto him, straddling his lap, as he pulled me into another kiss that felt frantic, but also exhilaratingly perfect.

I melted into him, kissing him back with a fervor that surprised even me. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped my lips as he ran his hands down my back, gripping my ass. He ground my core into his hardening length, as he grunted in pleasure.

His lips left mine, trailing gentle kisses down my jaw and to my throat. I moaned his name, gripping his hair in my fingers, the overwhelming sensation washing over me like a tide.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long, Kitty,” he murmured against my skin, his breath sending shivers cascading down my spine. “Me too.” I whispered, not believing that this was finally happening.

Before I could think anything else, he twisted us around tossing me onto my back. He pulled off his hoodie, before crawling up the bed between my legs. His big hands gripped the insides of my thighs, pushing them apart as far as they’d go.

“Fuck kitty, your pussy is fucking perfect.” I whined at his vulgar words, silently begging him to touch me. He leaned down, biting the inside of my thigh his cheek lightly brushing my swollen clit. “Fuck Noah please.”

He smiled up at me, settling onto his stomach. “I’ve got you baby.” without another word, his tongue met my clit, as he softly flicked it over and over. I moaned, softly bucking my hips against his face. He pulled back, one of his hands slid up, gripping my hip, as his other softly rubbed down my slit.

He rubbed two of his fingers around my dripping hole, before slowly sliding them deep inside of me. I gasped at the stretch, his long fingers hitting the perfect spot. “Fuck noahhh….please.” I begged, already missing his mouth. He leaned back down, sucking my clit softly.

My fingers flew back into his hair tugging on it hard, as he groaned against me. “You gonna cum for me kitty?” I nodded, crying out as he pumped his fingers harder. “Oh fuck yes yes yes..” I babbled like an idiot, fully riding his face and fingers at this point.

Before I knew my orgasm was flooding my body. I whined his name, as my thighs tensed around him. “Ohhh fuck good girl…..just like that.” He groaned, as he continued fucking me through it. He slowly pulled out of me, before sucking my release off his fingers.

He hovered back over me, kissing me. Our tongues gliding across each other. A loud ringing interrupted us, as we pulled away. Noah pulled his phone from his pocket, as he stayed hovering over me. He answered with a smirk on his face. “What’s up Ty?”

My heart stopped, as I tried pushing Noah off of me, as if Tyler could somehow see us through the phone. Noah smiled before gripping my throat, and pinning me to the bed. I fought to keep my mouth closed, trying not to moan out loud.

“Yeah she’s just drying her hair right now, we’ll be there soon.” His eyes never left mine, as he smiled down at me. I softly whimpered, as his fingers tightened slowing down the blood flow to my brain making it fuzzy. I could feel myself getting wet all over again.

“Yeah she’s fine, just said she’s tired. She definitely looks exhausted.” He chuckled down at me. “Don’t worry she finished, we’re on our way.” He hung up the phone, putting it back in his pocket, releasing my throat, as he placed a gentle kiss to my lips.

“We have to go meet the guys, they wanna go get dinner. They sent me here to get you.” I couldn’t help the slight pout on my lips, from not getting to feel him inside of me fucking my brains out. He stood up laughing down at me. “Go get dressed, we’ll finish this later.”

He left my room, as I sat there dumbfounded. Noah Sebastian….the guy I’ve been in love with for two years….my brother’s best friend…just ate me out…..and said we aren’t finished. I couldn’t help the excitement that filled my body. I can’t fucking wait.

#noah sebastian #bad omens #badomensimagines #noah sabastian smut #noahsebastiancult #bad omens cult #imagines #bad omens band #bad omens smut #nick folio #joakim jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo

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dsireland86 · 2 months ago

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Hello! I have a dad!Noah request that i cant stop thinking about!!

Can you please do something where bad omens is playing a show and its Noah’s daughters 1 year birthday, his daughter and wife are up in the balcony of the venue watching the show and Noah points them out to the crowd and does something special for his daughters first birthday? 🤍

This has been a long time coming! Thank you to the Anon, who requested this and has waited so respectfully and patiently for me to get it out. 🤗🤗🤗

1st Birthday

Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @fadingintothegrey @an0mallly @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12@sister-sebastian

The birth of his baby girl was the proudest day of Noah's life, next to marrying you. Even though the birth plan didn't go as expected and there was a close call, everything turned out just fine in the end. His daughter was the most perfect thing in the world to him, next to you, of course. She looked like you, except she had a full head of dark hair like Noah's and his brown eyes, instead of your green.

As Baby Davis grew, she became the apple of her Daddy's eye. Noah spoiled her rotten, not just with things, but with his love, too. When she cried in the middle of the night for whatever reason, Noah got up with you, and unless she fell asleep on you, he was the one to get her back to sleep. Middle of the night cuddles were some of Noah's favorites.

Now, it was her 1st birthday, and unfortunately, Noah and the guys were on the road. Noah hated it, grumbled, and complained the whole day because he should've been home, celebrating his baby girl's 1st birthday. Already having a plan in motion, you kindly told him you understood that the date couldn't be changed because of availability and that there would be plenty more birthdays to celebrate. Your love, patience, and understanding were things Noah never took for granted. Brushing tears away, he hung up the phone, completely oblivious to the smiles on his bandmates' faces.

The show that night had begun. Noah tried to give it all, suppressing the feelings of sadness for not being with you and his daughter, but it just didn't work. What was worse was that Noah hadn't heard from you since early this morning, sending his head reeling with the worst thoughts. His heart was hurting a little too much tonight, and it was starting to show.

As the smoke cleared and the clear lights came on, Jolly stepped out on the stage first, strumming the soft chords of the band's most popular song. Noah teared up again, not sure if he could go out and just pretend he was fine when he wasn't. But he looked out and saw all the many, many faces of the people who came to see him and his bandmates and realized he owed it to them.

When his tear-filled eyes scanned the balcony, they stopped quickly, paralyzing Noah where he stood. The faces staring down at him were a blur at first, but after clearing his eyes, he saw them standing there beyond all the noise and lights. You were standing directly in the middle of the balcony, holding your daughter, who was nothing but a bouncing bundle of happiness. You waved to him smiling and blowing him a kiss, making him smile in return as he pretended to catch your kiss.

Noah was in shock as questions ran through his mind, questions like how you managed to get here so fast, did any of the guys have a hand in this, and why would you go through all of this trouble? Whatever the answers were, he didn't care at the moment. All he wanted to do was go out there and perform his best for the fans who paid money to come see his band play.

Noah gripped the microphone stand, holding it as if it was the very thing keeping him up at the moment. He looked over at Jolly, unable to hide the tears glistening in his eyes. He smiled at his friend who grinned back at him, making Noah huff a light laugh. When the bridge came, Noah looked up and waved to his family, laughing when you took your daughter's hand and waved back at you. The little girl giggled and bounced in her mama's arms, making Noah's heart well with pride and joy.

"I want everyone to do me a favor. Pull out your phones, lighters, whatever you have, and hold them up in the air as high as you can get them. Good, good, very nice, good job. Now, if you would look toward the balcony, directly in the middle and wave to my sweet family, who've flown all the way out here to see us perform tonight." The crowd did as Noah asked, making you feel completely embarrassed. Noah smiled, laughing as you glared at him with your dark green eyes. "Hold on, love I'm not finished," he said to you, and the place erupted with light laughter. "Tonight is the most special night of this band's history, you wanna know why? Because that precious little girl up there, being held by her mama, my wife, is turning a year old today." The entire venue filled with applauses, whistles and shouts of happy birthday

By this time, Nick, Jolly, and Folio had paused the song, waiting for what was coming next, already having a pretty good idea. "I need y'all to help me sing "Happy Birthday" to my baby girl. Her daddy had to be here tonight and it really hurt me to be away from her on such a momentous occasion. But lucky for me, I married a woman who is the kindest, most caring, most loving and of course, the most beautiful person I know. She made it possible for me to celebrate the life of my daughter tonight with my family. So, please help me sing.

The crowd came to life, louder than they had that night as Matt embarrassed you even more by putting a spotlight on the two of you. Noah watched how you focused your attention on Baby Davis, watching the beautiful glow of your aura shine brightly. He suddenly needed to be near you.

Jumping from the stage and making his way through the crowd, Noah climbed the staircase to the balcony, thankful to the people who parted and made a way for him to get straight to the two of you. He gathered both of you up in his arms and kissed you hard yet so full of passion and it took your breath away. "I love you, so fucking much," he laughed, laying his forehead on yours. He took his daughter from you, kissing her sweet little cheeks and hugging her tightly. The audience cheered, making Noah's heart flutter with happiness and making this the best show Bad Omens had ever played.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fan fiction #noah sebastian fan fic #bad omens fan fiction #bad omens cult #bad omens

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extremelyblackandwhite · 1 year ago

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pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: sorry for the delay folks xx

masterlist

now i wish we’d never met ‘cause you’re too hard to forget while i’m cleaning up your mess i know he’s taking off your dress and i know that you don’t but if i ask you if you love me i hope you lie to me

Bucky Barnes was a great many things, a paradox in a single man, many opposite things to different people. For some he was an angel, charity driven and ready to sacrifice himself for everything and everyone. For others, he was a demon, someone who was power driven, filled with the need for success and stepping on anyone he needed to be the first and the best. No matter what both thought, all agreed on one thing - Bucky Barnes was one hell of a charmer. He’d gotten that from his mother - old high class British charm, his father used to say. That combined with his looks made him irresistible to most people. Everyone flocked to him, everyone except for Y/N. She’d vanished from his side a bit later into the night and he hadn’t seen her since. Each time he thought to look for her, someone would need him or catch his attention.

Even with all that, he couldn’t find her. Y/N was an eye catching woman, she was beautiful and if she were anywhere near he would’ve found her. Instead, she was nowhere to be found and he was starting to get annoyed. He wanted to spend the evening with her, or at least he had intended to spend the evening with her, introducing her to the right people who could help her. He continued listening to whoever was talking to him right now - truth was, he wasn’t even sure who that person was. He just usually smiled and kept up simple talks, that was what was required of him so he would gladly keep doing it as long as it yielded results.

As for Y/N, she had almost forgotten who she was here with. Christopher Davis was someone who she always could picture herself with. He was smart, well spoken, well mannered and seemed to have an interest on her. Besides, he had gone through the same thing as her back at Columbia.

- I’m just saying Professor Williams is a pain. - Chris laughed as Y/N explained what her supervisor had said. - If Professor Anderson likes you then you must be a bright student.

- Or maybe I’m just really daft.

- I don’t think so. - he smiled. - Sergeant Barnes doesn’t employ someone who doesn’t have promise.

- Except I don’t work for him ... I mean, not like you work for him, I’m just an au pair. I reckon the only criteria was are you a threat and are you good with children.

- How is it working with Sergeant Barnes if you don’t mind me asking?

Chris looked at her and then back at James whom he didn’t notice had been staring them down until now. He sighed, putting on his best smile, after all, he was trying to impress this girl.

- He’s uptight and a bit controlling but I guess you have to be if you want things to run smoothly. Specially when you work in advertising.

- That’s most CEOs isn’t it?

- Yes but James Barnes is .. different. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like a disgruntled employee.

- That is fine. Sergeant Barnes has got me on my nerves every once and again?

- Is that so? - Y/N felt the blood drain from her face as she turned around to face her boss. She wasn’t afraid of him per say, but she also knew, she just knew he would probably be pissy for the rest of the evening. - Good evening Y/N, Mr. Davis.

- I will see you tomorrow, Y/N. - Chris smiled at the au pair.

To say Y/N was over the moon was a massive understatement. He liked her, at least she thought he liked her enough to invite her out. She didn’t think she still had it within her, she was usually busy looking over Sadie or with her postgraduate studies - that didn’t give her enough time to think about her sex and love life. That being said, maybe that explained why she was having the weird dreams and fantasies about James; familiarity. Right? It had to be that.

Bucky on the other hand felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. Chris was ... well, he didn’t know that much about Chris other than he came from money yet he couldn’t even blame him from that since he had come from money as well. He was just boring, Bucky found him boring. He didn’t take risks, at least not enough risks for someone who worked at advertising. He played it safe. It worked, but it wasn’t revolutionary. Still, Bucky didn’t like him. He definitely didn’t like him for Y/N either. Y/N was smart, innovative, caring and another bunch of positive adjectives which were too long to list. Chris was just boring.

- So how’s that lady? - Y/N broke the silence between the two of them, a bit tipsy on the champagne which she wasn’t used to drinking.

- What lady?

- Delilah? - she looked up through her dizzy, tipsy mind, before snapping her fingers. - Delia. Yeah, that’s her name. How is Delia?

- You would know if you weren’t busy flirting with my employees.

- Oh so you can flirt but I can’t?

- Not when you’re with me. You’re embarrassing yourself and humiliating me.

- But I’m not here with you, am I, sergeant? I am not your date, am I?

- No. - he smiled forcefully. - However if I were going to flirt with someone I would pick someone less boring.

- You work in advertising, Sergeant. Everyone is boring.

(...)

Bucky had never spent a whole night alone with Sadie, not when she was awake. Yet, here he was, left behind by his au pair so she could go and date boring Chris while he had to deal with a very hyper Sadie who was running around as if it wasn’t 8 o’clock yet. He usually had a babysitter or he had Y/N, or Steve yet right now he was by his lonesome. He thought she would’ve settled down if he played princesses, yet, she did not. Instead Bucky now had knotted hair, glitter on his face and probably some on his eye and permanent marker on his neck. He had finally given up and done the worse thing in the eyes of every parenting book - he’d given her a tablet loaded with all the Bluey seasons. Meanwhile he’d taken to watching re-runs of Mad Men.

- Bed? - he asked the curly haired ginger who looked up at him, her hair in front of her face. - I’ll give you 10 dollars?

- No. - she replied before looking back at her tablet. Bucky sighed, looking up at the ceiling. Soon the terrible twos would be done and he’d have the terrifying threes.

- 20 dollars? - he said once again but she ignored him. He sighed, how come Y/N managed to do this? - Sadie, you can either go to bed or you can be tired tomorrow and not go to the park with Y/N. Choose.

She looked at him with the death stare which she had inherited from him, but eventually got up, grabbing his hand. Bucky smiled, picking her up and walking to her bedroom. He pushed the sheets from her bed, carefully rolling her to her mattress before tucking her in, handing her a Bingo plushie.

- You want a story, babe? - he asked her, brushing her curls away from her forehead. - No?

- Light?

- I’ll turn your little moonlight on. - he kissed her forehead. - I love you, Sisi bug.

She smiled at him and it was enough for him to know she meant she loved him too. He tucked her once more before turning off the main light, leaving the room softly lit by the nightlight. Slowly and softly he went up the stairs, grabbing a wick basket and started collecting toys onto it. She had too many toys, still he wouldn’t stop buying them. As he finished it, Bucky sat back down on the couch. He was annoyed. Why did she even go out with that prick? The only thing they had in common was an alma matter and god knows Chris was a legacy student so it wasn’t like he tried as hard to get into university like Y/N had. God, he hated him. Hated how bland and boring he was.

He toyed around with the remote, trying to find something that would get his head out of the idea of goddamn Christopher Davis trying to get her out of the practically translucent dress she had been wearing. Bucky could swear she did it on purpose, just to show off to him in those strap heels and short sheer black dress like a temptress. He changed channels once more, hoping he’d find something ... maybe a pay per view porn channel or something. Yet nothing took his mind of his au pair, his employee who he should have some professionalism with, and that stupid lacy bra he could make out under that dress. Dressing up like that for goddamn Davis.

He stared at his phone, watching as hours passed yet nothing fulfilled. Eventually, Bucky made a mistake, a huge, massive mistake. A mistake which fulfilled itself as he opened the door to show Delia. He handled things badly but right now he needed his fill.

His lips attacked hers as they stumbled towards the bedroom, Bucky locking the door behind him. This was a bad habit, a terrible habit but her lips felt good, her taste was tempting and Bucky wasn’t the one to have good habits. However, today, things were ... different. Her lips leaving lipstick marks on his neck didn’t feel the same. Maybe this was a mistake. He shouldn’t really have a woman in the house when his daughter was asleep upstairs.

- Are you alright? - Delia pulled away from him.

Bucky blinked, he had to be going ... stir crazy. Maybe he’d drank a bit too much whiskey but her features morphed and he could swear that in place of the woman he usually called whenever he needed release, stood the woman he wanted to be here now. The sheer dress a vivid memory in the back of his mind. He ignored her question, moving to kiss her neck and putting his hand over her mouth. His fantasies took full front stage as his mind drew a different reality.

All he could see was her, red lips open wide with soft, high pitched moaned as he kissed down her body, doing away with her dress and her underwear. He wanted to mark her, he wanted to mark this vision of a woman he craved. His hands found the top of his joggers, pushing it down as if he were a horny mess. His cock was painfully hard, slapping against his stomach as he stood over her, this vision of Y/N. All he could think of were all the times she saw her, the outline of her breasts, her collarbones. He didn't pace himself, instead lining up with the woman's entrance before he gripped her hips and slide himself in, without much a second of though. The feeling made him grown, he was insane he reckoned, insane because he knew this wasn't her but all he could see is her. The soft moans, the contracted muscles. He fucked her hard and rough until he felt his release approach. Once he did, he slide himself off, jerking off and coming on her stomach, rolling to the side of the bed. He stared at the ceiling fan of the guest bedroom, his mind lulling him back to reality ... all he could think when that moment was once simple thing - Fuck Chris Davis.

(...)

Y/N didn’t spend the night. He noticed that in the morning as he was getting prepared from work and saw her walk in, with her dress crimped and hair barely brushed. His blood bubbled. If she wanted to fuck old money, she could’ve fucked him.

- Had your release? - he knew he was being mean now, just looking to stir the pot. - Fun night?

- Why? Need some new jerking off material? - she crossed her arms, speaking in a manner and language that almost made him spit his coffee. - Who’s taking Sadie to school?

- Well, if you can still walk I’d say he did a pretty shit job, huh?

- I guess I’m taking Sadie to school. - she rolled her eyes. - And it’s none of your business.

- Well my employee is fucking another one of my employees. Maybe you should go to HR.

- Maybe I should and tell them that the boss is acting like an ass. Are you seriously still upset at me that I flirted with someone at your weird benefit? I’m single, I’m allowed to flirt!

- Not with Chris Davis. Seriously, Y/N, get a better taste in men.

- Because you have such a great taste in women. - she poured herself a cup of coffee. - Since you’re dressed, maybe you should take Sadie to school and see your favourite ego boosting group the PTA mums.

- Maybe I will.

- Picking Sadie up from school or do you want me to?

- Steve’s picking her up.

- Steve?

Steve.

////////////////////////////////////

taglist : @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82 @winters1917 @vladsgirlxx

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan imagine #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky/reader #bucky x reader #bucky/you #bucky x you #bucky/y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky smut

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hiromicota · 2 years ago

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(“Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)” comes on)

Most people: Oh, yeah! This is a banger.

Me (smashing through a wall): Imma tell you a tale about fatphobia & misogynoir in the music industry!

The gospel singer Martha Wash sang the main vocals for “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now).” However, she didn’t appear in the music video; instead Zelma Davis, the thinner singer who sang on other tracks on that album, lip-synched to Mrs. Wash’s vocals. Not only did Mrs. Wash not get featured in the video, her vocals were uncredited, and she received no royalties until she sued Sony & the titular C+C of C+C Music Factory: David Cole and Robert Clivillés. The case dragged on for ~3 years.

It’s messed up that Martha Wash didn’t get her due; she deserves more recognition. It’s also messed up that C+C hung Zelma Davis out to dry, leaving her to face bad press and fan outrage on her own. Like, Sony and C+C screwed two Black women. All four musicians made up afterwards (at least enough to work together again.) I’m still gonna be salty about the misogynoir, though.

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the-lean-buddha · 6 months ago

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My thoughts on the news about The Long Walk's film adaption

I have very little faith that The Long Walk will be a good adaption but maybe I'll be wrong! I can dream, and I've been wrong before. Here are my thoughts on the casting announcements and set pictures.

Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson are the leads, according to Deadline, which means they're presumably Garraty and McVries. Jonsson seems like a good actor but an awful fit for either character, and with Hoffman (presumably Garraty) it comes down to how good an actor he is, I guess, because I can see it working if I squint but I haven't seen anything from Hoffman to suggest he can do Garraty. And I reaaaaally doubt he could do McVries. McVries has a bite to him.

Joshua Odjick is Native American so he's presumably Joe or Mike (not to say that a different character couldn't theoretically be Native American in the adaption, but it's key to Joe and Mike that none of the other Walkers understand their culture at all, and only Baker defends their parents). It's odd that either of those two would have a prominent enough role to be cast already, so I wonder if either one of their roles is beefed up, or if Mike and Scramm will be a composite character and Joe won't feature at all. Alternatively, Odjick isn't playing a Native American character (or he is but Mike and Joe are adapted out), in which case I'd guess Parker.

Roman Griffin Davis is someone I've only ever seen in Jojo Rabbit so I don't know how much range he has. I think he'd fit best as Barkovitch but I wouldn't be surprised if he's been cast as Baker or Olson.

Charlie Plummer is Stebbins. I say this almost entirely because he's a long-haired blonde. If McVries is black then book descriptions (and characterizations, let's be honest, you can't make McVries a black kid in the 70s and keep his character the same) are thrown out the door already, but google Charlie Plummer and tell me he's not been cast as Stebbins. Also, take a look at this.

Ben Wang is Asian American and there are no explicitly Asian American characters, so we've gotta guess this one purely on Vibes (Olson and Barkovitch could both be canonically Asian American, but Barkovitch is openly racist, so). From Wang's YouTube channel and some clips of Chinese Born American I found, he's a nice and playful guy (hmu Ben let's get a lemonade, also tell me who you're playing), so I'd assume Baker or Olson or Abraham because they fit that the closest, I guess? But this is unfortunately a flawed way of guessing because actors playing lunatics are sometimes normal people in real life, walking among us, going almost undetected.

Tut Nyuot's a young, sweet-looking kid. I'd assume Percy? Again, weird to cast Percy already because he doesn't even have any lines in the book, but I can't imagine Nyuout playing a character who's supposed to be the same age as Charlie Plummer's character. Maybe he's unexpectedly good at playing deranged assholes like Barkovitch? We'll see.

For Garrett Wareing I'd say Olson, looking through clips and interviews.

Jordan Gonzalez gives me no strong impression. Sorry, Jordan. Feel free to give me a stronger one over lemonade (and tell me who you're playing). If I'm held at gunpoint then I'll say Abraham.

Mark Hamill is presumably playing the Major. He's absolutely not who I would have picked because he overflows with character and I always pictured the Major as a stoic, empty Big Brother type figure, whose moments of charisma and friendliness were obviously just an act. And I guess Hamill could play that, but I think the Major will more likely have a lot more personality and vim and vigor in the movie, if Hamill was cast - he's easily the biggest draw in the cast. Not necessarily a bad way to portray the Major, but easier to mess up. We'll wait and see.

Judy Greer as presumably Mrs. Garraty will presumably be fine.

Set photos look promising, aesthetically. No half-track, though. And there's a tank. Why is there a tank?

There's a Deadline article suggesting that there are only 50 kids and the pace limit is 3mph. But there's also an article suggesting it's still 100 kids so it might be a mistake? If it's 50 kids then that's presumably done for practicality but it's a bad change, the number will either get too low too fast or it'll drop too slowly (and also no 47 and 61 which would be weird but that's not significant). 3mph isn't necessarily bad, it's more feasible, but it does mean the "first into Massachusetts in seventeen years" can't happen. Maybe they'll make New Hampshire the record instead.

i want lemonade

Reblog with your thoughts! We've got news, people, and I'm sure someone somewhere is more excited about that than I am. Let's get some discussion going on in here.

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princeescaluswords · 7 months ago

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Hello, sorry to bother. I just wanted to thank you for your continuous passion for TW and especially Scott. I've recently rewatched the show for the first time in 10 years, and he's always been my favourite, but I kept my distance from the fandom because of how bad it was towards him – and ended up pulling away entirely for a while. It's sad to see it's still not much better, but your blog is a delight to me because I finally see someone who gets it. Have a good day 🐺

Your words are very kind. While I find the effort rewarding, I am most certainly tilting at windmills. The fandom will only be able to change through attrition; the appreciation of Scott McCall as a character as he deserves will only fully happen when there's no one left to notice.

I'm sorry for being a bit of a downer, but there was a very interesting post by @liplessthomas14 where they mourned the lack of "Bad Friend Scott" stories that actually address the problems in Scott and Stiles's friendship. They're absolutely correct. While I would never see the need for that tag, there could have been an entire genre of Teen Wolf fanfiction and fandom content which analyzed the flaws in a powerful friendship. But there isn't, and there won't be now. It's too late. The damage is done. We have 2218 works on AO3 labelled as such, and I would generously estimate ten times that many which simply taken the idea that Scott was a bad friend to Stiles for granted. That's one out of seven stories published and very, very few of them aren't simplistic one-dimensional hit jobs.

Instead of understanding the role of Scott and Allison's relationship in the story, 95% of the fandom believes that Scott was obsessed with her and in doing so, left Stiles behind. Of course, they have to ignore the more-than-half-dozen times that Scott risked his relationship with Allison for Derek or Stiles, including the fact that Season 2 was entirely about Scott putting saving lives of people who didn't like him above his relationship with Allison. They have to ignore that there was never a scene where Scott left Stiles behind for Allison or popularity, for that matter. They have to ignore that Allison was Scott's anchor and that this was important, including ignoring this blatantly lampshading scene from Party Guessed (2x09):

Isaac: Then how do you control it? Derek: Find an anchor. Something meaningful to you. Bind yourself to it. Keep the human side in control.

The show came out and said "In order for Scott to exert control over his lycanthropy so he can save others rather than be a danger to them, he needed to bind himself to Allison, a girl with which he fell in love." and the fandom has spent the last 13 years pretending that the show didn't have repeated scenes demonstrating this very need. We can all accuse Jeff Davis of being unsubtle, but he seemed to have known that he simply could not be unsubtle enough.

Instead of understanding the purpose of Stiles (and Derek) as a foil(s) for Scott, I would estimate that 95% of the fandom believes that the show, as one person put it, undermined Stiles or Derek's story for Scott's benefit, an idea put forward again and again with no basis in storytelling. Stiles had two whole seasons dedicated to his story and the only time he wasn't an important character in the other seasons was when the actor didn't want to be there. Scott, on the other hand, spent the first 36 episodes of the show cleaning up the Hale family mess on their behalf and then accepted being given their role of protecting the town. Of course, the fandom has taught itself that, contrary to the actual writing, it was Derek and Stiles's right to be the focus of the show.

Think of it this way, after all the emotionally resonant "Stilinski family feels" which the fandom loves so much (and they were meant to) and then couple that with the fact that Stiles had more scenes, more screen time, and received more on-screen comfort from Scott's parents than Scott did. I'll never get over the fact that we had an entire season of everyone talking about how much they love Stiles and how important Stiles was to them, and it wasn't until the final season (when Stiles was gone) that someone told Scott she was worried about him. As I like to point out, imagine Stiles being kidnapped and taken to a foreign country or badly injured and the Sheriff not being involved. His parents being absent during crises happened to Scott three times, and the majority of the fandom never noticed.

Instead of taking the time to explore the motivations of every character and not just their favorites, 95% of the fandom indulge in racist tropes that allow them to ignore huge plot points and then complain about plot holes. Deaton is sinister, cryptic and/or unhelpful, when scene after scene depicts Deaton offering good advice and help for which he receives no reward. Scott is stubborn, angry, and simplistically moral (black-and-white thinking) towards white male characters who should be in charge, when there are repeated scenes showing him willing to work with Derek and Chris Argent, Theo and even Peter for pity's sake.

That's why the fight in Lies of Omission (5x09) is one of the most fundamentally misconstrued scenes in television history. Instead of seeing that Theo cleverly used the flaws in Scott's and Stiles's relationship to drive them apart so he can isolate and neutralize Scott, the fandom reduces it to Scott casually and immediately tossing Stiles out of the pack for killing someone in self-defense on the word of an utter stranger. Gone is the knowledge that Stiles has a history of lies and deception so deep it's become a running gag and a history of extreme violence in defense of his father; gone is the awareness that Theo had carefully cultivated Scott's overwhelming sense of responsibility as well as saved every single member of the pack, thus earning Scott's trust (the way Derek saving Scott's life in Season 2 was supposed to earn Scott's immediate obedience). Stiles, as a white male character, is entitled to hurt and deceive other people and receive understanding; Scott, as a non-white character, is expected to ask the right questions and get to the bottom of things even as Stiles yells in his face.

In conclusion, the fandom is poisonous because of the established core belief that Scott is unworthy to be lead protagonist and that Stiles (or Derek or Theo or even Peter) would have been a better one. This belief is so widespread and so strong and so in conflict with the story itself that it's hard to participate in the fandom unless you adopt it, and it's why there is always a struggle to think about the characters in nuanced terms. I'll keep trying, though.

#scott mccall #scott mccall defense squad #stiles stilinski #derek hale #isaac lahey #alan deaton #allison argent #fandom problems #fandom racism #teen wolf fandom problems

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visionthefox · 7 months ago

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I wonder if all this arc with Moon being the bad guy- and being off is maybe a way davis wants to share a messge? maybe a critic? maybe as to point out a detail or a thing in the fans?

this is not the first time Moon as a character did a horrible thing- do I need to bring back the Bunker scene? when Moon punched him and talked down to him?

"that all you are good for, cleaning up my mistakes" was something he said on his near madness state

after that, sure he said sorry but it never felt like he trully felt bad, if anything he felt like he now had to put himself in more stress and hide it better- when KC happened never fully explained it to Sun..why he wasnt all right- why Sun needed to stay away from his stuffs (like ok. Sun often had this moment were he could get too curious and mess up, that was somethiing we all knew, despite it all it wasnt in malice, just ignorance),he nearly Killed him once more in a mad state due to the Kill Code activated again..

but ya know what? fans eventually loved him back. sure we had a close eye on him- but I do recall ppl often baby Sun and critic Moon but soon they learned to love him again.. so did Sun..

his death made sure ppl cried for him, people worried for him and wanted him back..

now step into this arc- same idea- Moon does bananas, and does bad stuffs at those who loved him, fans are sure eating him alive in the comments im sure, many are trying to find a reason why, is this a new KillCode variant? mind control? virus?

whatever is the case, is a tale old as the show itself- Moons be bad guys, fans get angry, but then is given a reason, people pity Moon, his family justify him ((coffcoffLunarcoffcoff)) or simply accepts him and move on

tho sure is different now, as Sun can finally see he was abused and Earth may have hard time to forgive him- I can only imagine thats the goal for this arc.. maybe simply point out a fact? maybe is not so deep

maybe is a "copy the old homework but change it a bit so no one will see is the same" - is not a bad thing, they cant simply come up with arcs out of the blue, and so far seems like this one is giving them views, so works

yet I see many wonder "why would they do this?" is simple, it worked once!

#tsams #sams #the sun and moon show #thats my idea at least- how I see it #mind you im not even TOUCHING this arc with a stick -feels like KC arc -so dull and nothing #I can see why ppl is losingtheirs minds tho- if I didnt knew better I would also be soo deep #I kinda hate that I dont care like why i cant just be curious like all? feels im in this room and everyone is having agreat time and im her

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androgynealienfemme · 2 years ago

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"If we assume that camp humor is based on juxtaposing incongruous extremes, it should flourish in the lesbian community as well as in the male homosexual community. But talking to these old-time butches, one is not struck by their campy sense of humor as one is when listening to or reading about old-time queens. Rather it seems to us that butches were unquestionably smart and quick, but their strategy for survival was assertion, and sometimes aggression, whereas queens based their strategy on wit, verbal agility, and a sense of theater. Gay men took care of and healed people through their words. Judy Grahn remembers one evening in the late fifties when two policemen came over to the table where she was sitting with a friend. They shone a flashlight in their faces and required them to say their first and last names out loud: Sweat poured down my ribs as I obeyed. After they left, my friend and I sat with our heads lowered, too ashamed of our weakeness to look around or even to look each other in the face. We had no internal defense from the self-loathing our helplessness inspired and no analysis that would help us perceive oppression as oppression and not as a personal taint of character. Only the queens with their raucous sly tongues helped us get over these kinds of incidents. They called the policeman "Alice Blue Gowns," insulting them behind their backs. "Alice Blue Gown tried to sit on my nightstick but I said No. You dirty boy! I know you're menthrating!" one plump faggot in a cashmere sweater would begin and soon we would be laughing and feeling strong again."

-The Persistent Desire, ""They was no one to mess with" The Construction of the butch role in the lesbian community of the 1940s and 1950s", Elizabeth Lapovsky Kennedy & Madeline Davis (1992)

#history #lgbt #lgbtq+#lgbt history #lesbians #butch #femme #butch femme #cultures #lesbian history #gay history #writing #recs #gay #the persistent desire

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magickalsapphic · 4 months ago

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We were both young (when I first saw you)

A Victorian Romeo and Juliet Snowbaz AU ❀ Chapter 1 Posted (2351 words) ❀ horseback riding, farmerboy!Simon, aristocrat!Baz, Davy sucks, gay people 🙏 ❀ pls read it & rb, i will post the other chapters asap fr

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59023879

It was already unfortunate for Lord Basilton to find out his most agreeable suitor was being accompanied by his family rival's long lost heir. But realizing Lord Simon Snow Salisbury is the same boy he's obsessed over for years is something he could've never have anticipated. aka a Victorian Romeo and Juliet Snowbaz AU inspired by Love Story by Taylor Swift. Where neither the Victorian era, the Romeo and Juliet references OR the Love Story references are accurate. Hope you enjoy:)

Chapter 1: Horseshit and Ball

BAZ

“Baz, Baz, Baz,...” I hear a small, high-pitched voice behind my door exclaim. I’m not ready for this day to start, but it doesn’t seem to want to wait any longer. I stretch my arms above my bed frame and then move the silk bed sheets aside. The sun comes in harder through the large window and makes me doubt the true nature of this fateful day. I walk to my door barefoot knowing my seven-year-old sister is on the other side.

“Mordelia, I’ve told you you don’t need to yell, you can just knock.”

She opens the heavy door in a swift motion and starts visibly judging my surroundings as usual. It is the second largest room in the house, with long carpentry to match the burgundy walls and enough space to walk to the balcony. Mordelia always complains that the art easels cover the fountain’s view from outside and are uninviting to visitors. She stops at my tulips work in progress and I immediately know what she thinks.

“You should draw horsies instead of the same dull plants all the bloody time.”

“I’ll have you informed I enjoy painting this just fine,” I say while quickly picking up a small pillow from the floor and throwing it at her. She catches it, which is embarrassing, to say the least.

“Whatever. Father asked me to remind you of your extra duties today,” she says, referring to the activities he’s specifically made to keep me from running off today. “So thank you for… feeding the horses,” she says with a smirk.

“I’m not cleaning your horses’ shit, Mordelia.”

“You said it, not me.”

She leaves my room as my aunt Fiona enters, messing her hair as she walks past her. I try to ignore her presence by picking up the pillow I threw on the floor.

“Quit being rude, boy. I’m here with good news about tonight,” Fiona says.

I turn to her confused but she’s still resting her back on the door and crossing her arms.

“I’m helpless. What could you possibly have to say?”

“Well, a little bird told me you have a special girl coming to the ball tonight,”

I give her a look. I can’t possibly care who she’s referring to, I’m still not going to be attracted to her. It’s the same thing.

“Talking about Lady Agatha Wellbelove, of course.”

“And why ever is she so special?” I say turning my back on her again.

“Because she’s a nice girl. And extremely wealthy.”

“ We are extremely wealthy,” I say as if it wasn’t evident.

“Her father owns the West Watford slot.” Now this gets my attention. The Old families have been in a silent property rivalry for ages.

It started over a three hundred years ago when the Salisbury’s came from the north and bought two-thirds of the Watford main fields. This ended up messing with the entire economy and social status on my family’s, the Pitches, side, which used to be the richest in the area. My ancestors tried to settle this by dividing the terrains more and not letting one family get more than the other. I don’t know who had such high hopes that rich old men would settle something logically. Instead, the Pitches tried to buy the land from them and get them a nice place out of town. To which the Salisbury’s declined, and tried to buy the last free slot. Aware of the fighting of the two most powerful families in the city, the mayor decided it was for the best that the lot stayed part of the State, meaning that both the Pitches and the Salisbury’s kept owning about the same amount of terrain.

So, of course, over the years and different generations, we’ve kept this rivalry between us and have tried over and over to get the most land. Even though everyday workers and families living in them care just the same.

Agatha Wellbelove’s father, however, comes from a more nobel family, that has historically taken a bigger part in politics, which I assume explain their possession of the infamous West Watford slot.

“You’re saying that if I marry her, we would finally, officially be the most powerful family in this town.”

“Bingo. Your father won’t ask anything of you again. Pretty confident he wouldn’t even ask for heirs.”

No children. I don’t mind children that much but this does mean I wouldn’t have to have any means of an actual relationship with her. I guess… if I offer some kind of yearly sum and a lot of horses, Wellbelove is known to be fond of those, maybe we could make that work. It’s the least painful option. For me at least.

“That does sound appealing… Why are you telling me this?” Her eyes soften and she approaches me slowly, bringing her palm to my cheek.

“I couldn’t watch you walk into complete unhappiness and not do anything kiddo. Not what Natasha would’ve wanted.”

———

I realised I didn’t possess an attraction to girls and instead to boys when I was 13 years old. Though, from a young age I never thought I was like the other boys around me, always so heavily… unhygienic, and interested in the most atrocious activities. Like wrestling or getting into unnecessary trouble. I enjoyed picking out flowers with my mother. The best ones surrounded our pond, she used to say, we were lucky to have this astounding beauty all around us. This wasn’t the only activity I enjoyed with her, though. She encouraged me to devour all the books in our library by accompanying me and explaining concepts I didn’t understand or simply talking about them with me.

My father has been too busy with taking care of the farmlands and ordering people around ever since I remember. My mother would take care of financial issues with him, she would say, but when I came about… She stopped caring about the money. She stopped caring about anything other than me. And I think–I know–my father resents me for that. I was “too needy” and “too emotional”, but it was never a problem for her. She stayed with me through everything. She was my best friend. I don’t regret a thing. The best memories I have are until the age of 12 for a reason.

I don’t remember much from her funeral. I spent a lot of time to myself then and the months after. My father let me be and I let him be as well. I rarely even spoke to my cousin Dev or my friend Niall, even though they tried plenty of times. After a while, I started to go out with them but didn’t speak unless it was essential.

However, on the first anniversary of her death, I was vocal once again. Father wanted us to not make it a big deal but agreed we would go and leave her flowers. All I wanted was to give her her favourite flowers, lilies. We were already in my mother’s old home in Surrey, and when my father stepped out of the carriage, our servant handed him a bouquet of daisies. My father knew it had to be lilies and I didn’t care to hear why he couldn’t manage them this time. There was no excuse for this and I told him so. I didn’t set a foot in the door, instead ran past the servants, past the carriages, past the gates. Unknown destination. I just needed the flowers. I didn’t have any money with me so I went past the village as well. I didn’t want to be so far away from her, but I didn’t want to be near anyone. Anything.

All I could hear was quick cobblestone. Then grass and grass. I finally stepped into a beautiful field, where soft orange tinted primroses, foxgloves, red tulips, wheat and corn, a dozen goats, and… this boy.

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes and the flashback starts

He was kneeling down beside a bush, picking up orchids. He had a cloud of bronze hair, blue eyes, and a frustrated look on his face. I might’ve stared a bit too long, as he said without looking away from his work, “Are you lost?”

When I didn’t reply he looked up and his eyes softened. “Are you okay?”, he asked. He must have noticed my puffy eyes.

“My… my mother loved lilies,” is all I managed before he went around the field and left me standing there.

He came back a few moments later with a handful of them, even set in a beautiful way and tied in the middle with a small red bow. The sun was setting and his hair was catching fire. His eyes, his freckles. I barely mumbled a thank you before he was back at his work and I was on my way back to my mother. I didn’t bother finding my father and went straight to her grave. I gasped as I saw the tearful eyes of my father kneeling in front of the tombstone, daisies scrunched up between his hands and the ground. In silence, I joined him.

He might have forgotten many things in the following years, but he never forgot lillies on that day again. And I never forgot the face of the boy who made things okay. Even for a moment.

And I mean that. I thought about him constantly for months after that incident. I turned to painting to try to salvage those curls and those eyes. I never crossed paths with him again, I couldn’t remember which way I went that day. Part of me is thankful for that since I wouldn’t have known what to do. What he did make me sure of was that I liked boys. I liked boys and only boys. And I would never be able to say that out loud.

———

I conclude my unfortunate responsibilities of the day rather early, but with the new motivation for tonight, I am glad to have enough time to get properly ready before the party. The Watford Ball is a yearly dance hosted by the Bunces in celebration of the Summer Solstice, also the most popular dance for courtship. Most families take this opportunity to passively-aggressively show each other who has the most power, usually showing off their heirs and silently betting on who will be oh so lucky to marry someone part of the most powerful families—those being mine, and the Salisbury’s, but there is no heir in that family. While gossip over the years has changed what happened over and over, from my understanding of these internal family feuds, Lady Salisbury’s daughter left her husband and the family at a young age. And while many presume it was adultery, I’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt. Her husband was no other than Sir Davy Cadwallader. Sir James, Lady Salisbury’s son, never married, so they have counted days of their fortune if something doesn’t change. Cadwallader, however, has taken use of every centimetre to his missing wife's name, and he makes it known.

Vera, one of our servants, finishes buttoning my brown floral waistcoat. I slick back my hair and adjust the earth green bow. I stare in the mirror and curse myself for actually trying to look presentable. I simply can’t shake the thought of a mildly admissible future, and I won’t lose my chance.

As I walk down the stairs, my father calls to me.

“Basilton,” he stares at me and nods.

I nod back, “Father.”

“Thank you for making an effort. I’m positive you will find a lovely young lady that will catch your eye.” He walks away.

I really, truly hate that this is happening. No matter the promising possibilities. I close my eyes and wish for a miracle. A golden one.

At the party, I escort my aunt Fiona due to my lack of a partner. We walk down an overwhelmingly decorated set of stairs. A herald stopping us and naming every title we each have, before taking our final steps. I have always found these introductions quite silly, but they do make me feel seen. As seen as is possible.

The room is wide and I notice clusters of hats and thin waists, men and women hand in hand dancing, and a sharp smell of tobacco and bergamot. I wait near the orchestra for the sight of Wellbelove, watching as more and more young people fill the room. I take a glass of white wine from a table and sip on it slowly. I wait for my singular goal tonight. Enchant a girl. It can’t be so difficult, can it? I glance at my aunt from the other side of the room, where she’s talking with the Bunces. She mouths patience, Basil, as she notices me. I am being patient. I am just shit at waiting.

Too much time passes and I feel my lungs close off from the number of people that have arrived now. Everyone is talking and talking. I lean back against the wall and I still feel crowded. Wellbelove doesn’t seem to be getting here any time soon. I should start talking to other people, other girls. But every time someone approaches me I make the conversation as short as politely possible. I really am not in the mood for a party.

It’s way too late now. I notice all the Wellbelove’s are here except for Agatha. I walk over to them to ask where she bloody is, but I stop in the middle of my journey as I hear the herald speak loud and clear. “Lady Agatha Wellbelove, and her partner Lord Simon Snow Salisbury.”

I curse under my breath and I can’t believe my luck. I whip my head towards the entrance and every thought or action in my body disappears.

Blue eyes. Bronze curls.

“ Simon Snow ,” I mumble under my breath or lack thereof.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns

See you make your way through the crowd