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the-shared-brain-in-retrograde · 3 years ago

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Zodiac

Or What if Bruce Banner gave up all that science and got really into puzzles?

A joint review

It’s safe to say that our What If…? season has proven quite divisive for the Shared Brain, and Zodiac was no exception to that rule. Cass loves it, thinks it’s a masterpiece of creepy suspense that lingers unsettlingly as she goes about her business afterwards, and Becks hated it, wonders why anyone would go to the trouble to watch, or indeed even make, this movie. So this should be interesting.

We should also say, whilst this was our choice of alternate universe for dear Bruce, we do note that there are two other MCU fan favourites joining him here for a crossword or two; Tony Stark as himself (give or take a few million and a different taste in suits) and Mysterio without his helmet. We’re getting the band back together alright!

We're gonna go by character this week rather than trying to go by the plot, as we think this will hurt our brain, just like it hurt the brains of everyone else involved, and we don't want to have a breakdown [we are very close...] We really wanted to start with Dave, you know cos it’s Bruce week, but we are not going to for reasons that we will not be taking questions about at this time.

Robert Graysmith

It's safe to say Cass may have become financially troubled over little Robert at times during this film.

@cassandrafey: Look I just think he's quite cute in this film.

@becksxoxo: Yuhuh.. Is this the week where I become *better* than you?

@cassandrafey: I mean, he's cute in this but I'm not going to lose my head.

@becksxoxo: *indignantly* When have I ever lost my head?

@cassandrafey: A lot.

Anyway turns out that Cass has watched 33% of Jakey G's film back catalogue (according to Letterboxd), but not as many as Sebastian Stan [Becks here, Sebastian's films I mean, I don't know how many of Jake Gyllenhaal's films Seb has watched, perhaps I'll go message him. Hey babe, we're just writing a post, can I just check something with you. Thanks babe...] Becks is surprised it’s not Anthony Mackie, but it turns out he's been in every film ever made, so the data's a bit squiffy. [Cass here: Anthony was my most watched actor of last year according to the Jan roundup, so I’m still representing don’t worry. However, Seb is clearly looking to increase his lead in the early months of this year, by providing the sort of content I am here for. Love to see a villain phase.] Becks only watches the same 5 films on rotation, so does not have any stats to give. Anyway back to the film...

Robert Graysmith, big fan of puzzles, has very little impulse control. As soon as he heard there was the slightest whiff of a puzzle out comes the pen, all other responsibilities thrown to the wayside. Becks is a big advocate for procrastination, but even she thought he'd taken it too far.

What we will say about Robert is, that although Cass thinks he is unbearably cute, he is also unbelievably stupid so often in so many ways that could have been avoided:

You've done a lot of research into this guy, but perhaps stop broadcasting this fact to the serial killer, and putting your family at risk.

Also, don't go round a stranger's house when they're somewhat involved in a murder case.

Don't go in their house.

Do notice if they lock the door.

Try not to give all the details about the murderer to that person.

Don't follow them in a dark basement.

Also, is it true that not many people have basements in California? Any American folk that come across this can you please let us know? In our heads all American houses have basements. And nothing good happens in any of them.

Another badly thought out thing that Robert did was get the kids involved. Firstly, don't let your kid watch a TV show where a murderer is calling in after threating kids. Secondly, perhaps don't use your murderer obsession as a nice little weekend project with the kiddiewinks. Why were you getting them to check moon cycles, should we be worried that the Zodiac is a werewolf?

Would you prefer to be killed by a werewolf or vampire?

@cassandrafey: Well a vampire is neater. I think you would be mauled by a werewolf, and it would be messy and painful. And I don’t think they’re sexy are they, when they’re turned? Like before maybe, I can accept that in human form the werewolf could be hot, maybe very hot, but I don’t want to be fucked by a werewolf whilst it actually is the wolf. Not if I’m not one. I suppose if I was also a werewolf, then that would be okay, but otherwise it’s not right. But a vampire is a vampire all the time and sexy all the time, so it would have to be the vampire.

@becksxoxo: I mean, I didn’t actually ask which you would rather be fucked by…

@cassandrafey: Oh. Why was I talking about that then?! What was the question?

Anyway. Probably vampires innit?

His wife was right to take the kids away at this time. It was a date that just never ended. But everyone is fine. It’s fine.

Another tangent Becks would like to include. When were zippers invented? Hear me out, Robert wore a coat with a zipper, and this film is set in the past [which I did keep forgetting and being like why are people in flares? Why is no one just calling for help?] but I don't know when people stopped being buttoned into a thing, and instead zipped themselves up. Cass has since googled this, so we know the answer, and if you too are intrigued we suggest you also google it. We shan't help you. But it’s sort of worth it. Sort of. Do you know what we will help you, because the phrases used regarding the zip are just too good. Enjoy friends.

He was quite smart, with the puzzles and working out the library connection, but he wasn't very emotionally smart. Cass would like it reiterating again that he was very cute. Before we move on, Becks would like to say that her favourite bit of the film did involve Robert, and the extreme burn he got from the Coffee Vendor.

David Toschi

Very good hair for a man who hasn't had a full nights sleep in over a decade.

We like Dave, for the most part we're very on his side. Which we suppose you're meant to be, when the other option is a serial killer. So that’s nice.

Cass very much enjoyed watching Dave and Bill work together to get a picture of the scene, an overview of the crime and try and get into the head of the Zodiac. Becks admits that it was a good way of telling the story without telling the story.

Cass also enjoyed his role in the interrogation. His quietness adding more intimidation then any of the questions being asked. Handling that watch. Cass just thinks he does really good silent acting for much of this scene, and loves it.

She also liked his disapproving head shake at those policemen who failed at doing their jobs so spectacularly. She would not however like that disappointment to ever be turned on her.

@becksxoxo: Do you just want him to tell you you're a good girl?

@cassandrafey: Yes. *a moment of silence* but not in the way of your bloody fanfictions!

It must be so frustrating and sad not to have been able to solve the case, to have the proof you need to say it was this person and have the whole thing finished. The whole way the case played out seemed frustrating, all the procedural fuck ups, the counties and cities not working together, the whole bit where he was accused of writing one of the letters himself. We're not surprised Bill left, although Becks was very angry at him just upping and leaving. You don't do that to a friend. We wonder if he ever got his Japanese food?

He did have really good hair. And his little gun holster thing was alright. The bowties were a choice [they were so big...] and we hope he eventually got some sleep.

Becks thinks Mark did some good acting in this role. She doesn't really have much to base this on, but it’s a judgement she's made and it’s one of the nice things she has to say about this film.

Paul Avery

Poor old Paul. With his buttons and his alcohol addiction.

Paul provides a bit of levity to the film, a little light hearted fun, with his snark and his outfits, until it all goes a bit wrong. If being threatened by a serial killer could be described as a bit wrong.

Cass liked Paul and was sorry to see his life fall apart, but she can't exactly put her finger on why she liked him. He was entertaining though.

He felt very Tony-esque only without the money and weapons. Oh Tony, we miss you.

We like his and Robert's friendship, that begins as essentially bullying a little boy who is a little bit in love with you, to hanging out at gun ranges and trying to make sure you're not serial killed. Although he did seem to drift the more obsessed with the Zodiac he became.

He too did stupid things, like Robert. Going off to meet an anonymous person when an anonymous murderer has just threated you with a good bit of death. Why was Melanie the only one to point out how stupid this all was? Feeble minded men, that's why...

Speaking of feeble minded men, we shall now move on to the many possible identities of the Zodiac Killer.

The Zodiac Killer

Obviously in the film we never know for sure who the Zodiac is. They do go through a lot of very odd people, and even if they weren't the Zodiac, we're pretty sure they've probably done something. And that's why we're not in law enforcement. Apparently you can't accuse people on vibes alone.

Arthur Leigh Allen was a creepy fucker. We don’t have anything further to say about this - but he gives Cass the creeps very severely indeed, and whether he’s the killer or not we don’t want to be anywhere near him.

Bob Vaughn, also creepy. But also, don't go in possible murderers' basements, or houses in general. Cass thinks he was low key just fucking with Robert to entertain himself. Which is a dangerous game, but also a little funny.

It was weird how many people came forward claiming to be the Zodiac. You must have gone pretty wrong to claim to be a murderer when you just weren't. Gods people are weird.

Becks wants it be known that she does not want to be serial killed. If she is to be murdered it is because she is special. Take this as you will. It certainly made Cass shriek, and the words ‘so on brand’ were heard through the laughter.

Becks didn't really feel much during or after the film. There was a loud bang outside at one point, and that did make her jump, but none of the fear really lasted. Cass however really gets creeped out by this film. She had to answer the door for take away half an hour in and she didn’t like doing that at all… but she did because she’s a grown woman and didn’t want her housemate to see she was scared.

Cass here, just to add that I really do love this film. The frustration of feeling so certain that you have caught the killer and can put an end to this and keep people safe, along with the helplessness of not being able to prove it. The never quite knowing, and therefore never full unmasking the monster. The suspense and the awful tension and the way he he targets victims in pairs, making you feel a creeping dread of not being safe even when you’re with someone else and outnumbering the killer. The fact that the victims seemed totally random. Just the sense that it could happen. Awful. The first time I saw the basement scene, I nearly stopped breathing. And the interrogation scene lingers too, because it just feels like the worst game of cat and mouse - like they should be able to prove it and just can’t. Gods it gives me the creeps!

We were trying to think if there have been any serial killers during our lifetime, and we don't think there has been. Are mass shootings (which thank the gods we don't have here, but obviously we bare witness to in other countries) technically serial killers? We wonder what the definition is? We got too tied up in zippers and have not looked into this. And probably won't. It's all too gloomy as it is.

@cassandrafey: In conclusion this was a fantastic film that was not fully appreciated

@becksxoxo: *squawks* It’s just three hours I'm not getting back.

@cassandrafey: Much like his victims, you were robbed of time by the Zodiac.

@becksxoxo: Insensitive? Yes. Untrue? No

Anyway, Cabin in the Woods next week. Our final What If…? of the season. Always sad when things come to an end, when things finish. Will Becks cry? Gods imagine crying over Cabin in the fucking Woods. Also it’s going to be another Saturday night watch, with a Sunday morning review, because apparently Cass has other 'friends'.

See you next week.

love cass and becks

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