#dave is taking in Karkats shoutiness
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grimstrawberry · 2 years ago
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good night to aradia's dimples only
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divineerdrick · 6 months ago
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Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for March 8, 2024
Alright! Not expecting this to be as hard hitting as last time, but who knows what the gang has planned.
First, we've got a news post from James saying they're playing around a bit with the upd8 schedule this month. I'm glad they're not doing a page a day, though there were times when that happened during the old upd8 culture. As he says, the big thing was that we never knew when one would drop, or how big of an upd8 it would be. But at the end of the day, that required a ton of output that only a madman, or someone in the deep throws of their creative passion (same thing really) can produce. This team is taking a much more thought out route to their outcome than Andrew did, planning things out with outlines and storyboards well ahead of time. Not a lot of room for pages to drop multiple times in a day with that kind work involved.
This won't exactly have me mashing my f5 key until the next upd8, but my ear will definitely be to the ground.
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Of course Meenah is the Big Kahuna. But the BIGGEST KAHUNA? I'm going to be so glad to see our favorite shouty boy again.
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Damn! This art! That is most definitely no longer a shouty "boy". Karkat has been through some shit!
And yes! You did keep us waiting!
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He's been called so much worse. I honestly love this exchange.
LOBsTErs? Why do I feel like I don't want to know, even though I'm very much about to know.
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Now that's the kind of seizure inducing, artifact filled GIF we've all come to know and love!
Despite the all caps, this is a very different Karkat. This is the kind of moment where the Karkat we watched grow up would have gone on some kind of epic rant. If this is him "PRETTY FUCKING STRESSED!" now, he's definitely gotten a hell of a lot more steady keel.
But then, he probably had to even more so than when he was trying to wrangle two bloodthirsty teams together.
Oh wow . . . We're talking about Dave and Jade. This is definitely more of a rant, though still kind of tame. I mean, god! I can't even imagine what this would be like, though I probably have friends who know this pain. Civilization was literally sliding into fascism, and when it was go time Dave couldn't commit. Even with the whole Candy "will they/won't they" they were still best bros. And yet Dave dragged his heels on helping Karkat when he needed it.
And from Karkat's perspective, they had no sooner gotten past all that, including the awkward apologies, and Dave just mysteriously dies. I wonder if anyone has figured out why Dave died?
Actually, this might be why we haven't heard about it from Jade yet. From the perspective of the war, this appears to be old news. It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but things happen fast in a conflict like this. And you don't really get time to truly process and move on until it's all over.
And yet, when it comes to Sollux!
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Alright the players are taking the stage. Things are about to get into motion. And we end our upd8 on . . .
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This glorious piece of crap!
By the Goddess . . . just look at it . . .
I'm no poet like Dave is. I can't elaborate on how gloriously shitty this incredible tour de force is. So I'm just going to leave it here for you to drink it all in.
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davekat-sucks · 7 months ago
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Since we’re talking Kanaya, the fandom forgets how much she was Jade’s counterpart to the Sgrub session. Her house literally was built to look like a moon tower of prospit/derse, like Jade. She takes gardening, like Jade, and she lives right next to a frog temple, like Jade! She does diverge from Jade taking an interest in hunting the undead and rainbowdrinker romance novels, which the fandom seems to forget because much of Kanaya’s story gets tied to romance! She was the last landdwelling troll introduced in Act 5 Act 1 and she starts of as the “meddling fussyfangs” as described by Vriska!
Her character introduction is losing her flushed interest with Vriska but still pining for her so she vacillates Eridan and Vriska’s kismesitude after Vriska mind-controlled Tavros to kiss her and Eridan broke his moirailigence with Feferi. Her only interaction in Act 4 is talking with Rose (and mistakenly one time with John who was on Rose’s computer) and that settled the dust, Kanaya bounces from one romance to another until she landed on Rose, and she had enough superficial traits and prose to her serious-straightforward-clear-intentions attitude that was flanderized in the progressing acts.
Fans still forget Kanaya’s “impromptutations” quip she gave to Karkat, in fact people forget how much Karkat worked out her love issues at the end of Act 5 Act 1 and some of Act 5 Act 2.
I don’t ship Karkat/Kanaya as flushed, but there is appeal to the dynamic since Karkat is the one person who, despite being all shouty, doesn’t ask of anything from Kanaya, and listens to her issues. It also correlates that Karkat’s refusal to engage with Rose’s troubling behavior and alcoholism that damages her flushed pairing with Kanaya and Terezi’s pitch romp with Gamzee after (possibly) dating Dave for a short period of time. It goes to show even after Karkat’s shipping concerns and fear of inter-species connections was overblown, he is a crux to hold the meteor together.
Back to Karkat’s shipping, we know he drew Jade with Dave and Rose with John, but didn’t account Rose being into women. As it turned out Rise may have had a subconscious Freudian bullshit crush on Jade, since Rose hooks up with Sgrub’s version of Jade Harley, and when Jade needs to surrogate a child. In secret. With a married woman… Rose doesn’t seem to refuse. Maybe, just maybe it’s because Rose does still want that smart, cheery, independent girl she knew all those years.
To summarize, if Kanaya is to be a good character with depth and realism, keep her close to Karkat. If you want Rose to stay monogamous (in the specific way she isn’t seeing a secret lover) keep her FAR AWAY FROM JADE HARLEY and if you want Rosemary to work as a ship, KEEP KARKAT AS CLOSE TO KANAYA AT ALL TIMES.
Don't forget that John had to remind Karkat about them being made in ectobiology and that incest was a taboo in human standards, much to Karkat's annoyance since incest is fine on Alternia. He had considered shipping DaveRose and JohnJade. Karkat and Kanaya are also close also parallels to The Dolorosa and The Signless relationship. The Dolorosa raised The Signless/Sufferer, but sadly had to watch him be executed and be sold off as a slave. Only to die later by Dualscar's jealousy. Karkat being able to save Kanaya from grief and pain would give a good closure for their ancestry.
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karkatbug · 1 year ago
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🦀⛽️🕶️
They've rented a cottage for the long weekend. It's a bunch of them, they're college kids so they lie about the number of guests, of course, but it is the only way they can afford the place. There was plenty of room if people didn't mind sharing beds. Dave wasn't that close with most of the trolls joining them, but he's chill about it. He'd stick with his friends and give whoever looked in his direction an aloof nod of acknowledgment or whatever the fuck. The occasional awkward interaction was to be expected.
What he doesn't expect is one of the few trolls he did know well to pester the group chat and ask for help. The dumbass apparently slept in. He was also supposed to drive Terezi and Sollux, both of which found last-minute rides when he didn't answer them in the morning. He was on his way on his lonesome, which, fine. Glad Shouty McGee was going to make it to lunch with zero complaints, surely, but whatever. What catches Dave off guard is the fact that he's on his phone. Karkat was pretty fucking anal about texting while driving.
Apparently, he's stuck in the middle of the highway. Out of gas? Seriously? How unprepared could a guy be for a trip he had personally put so much effort into planning! That was like forgetting to attend your own birthday party. We're all here with our silly hats, Karkat. Get it together, man.
Dave is voluntold by his friends to buy some gas at the stop they're currently stretching their legs at and make the arduous trip to wherever the hell Karkat was stranded. That's what being physically fit got you, apparently. He eyes the Buc-ee's begrudgingly, wondering how much brisket it would take to forfeit him from his role.
No amount of gas station beef would ever be worth the sacrifice of his bowels, he concludes.
It takes him a bit of illegal jogging along the side of the highway, a few cases of being honked at and resisting the urge to flip them off, and a lot of time (an hour and twenty-four minutes to be precise), for him to make it to Karkat sitting on the roof of his car dejectedly.
He is uncharacteristically silent when he and Dave fill his tank. He thanks him and they're off to the rest stop they planned to meet at.
"What's up? You definitely crapped the bed at about every turn you made today, but you usually don't let that shit stop you from verbally assaulting my hear ducts."
"Just say ears," Karkat mumbles. His bags are darker than usual. Hair messier, frown deeper, brows furrowed and grip on the steering wheel turning his gray skin translucent. Dave eyes the veins on the back of his hands curiously.
"Are you okay, dude?"
Karkat quickly glances at Dave then back to the road, eyes momentarily widened by, what, surprise? "Like you give a shit, Dave. Let's just try to remain civil until the fucking cottage and then we can fuck off to our sides of the forest like some bad re-enactment of... of—"
"Oh fuck you can't even come up with an indiscernibly pathetic excuse of an analogy. I'll find us the nearest hospital."
"Fuck off, Strider! I'm just tired."
"Yeah, no shit. You like, never sleep in. You never sleep period."
Karkat hums. The sound has Dave putting down his phone and observing the other carefully. This is probably the first time he's sat alone with the other. This is definitely the first time he's given him his undivided attention. Something aches in him when he looks at Karkat.
They make it to the rest stop and find out that their friends had met up and left together to accept the key from the Airbnb owner at their previously agreed time. It's not ideal for Dave. Part of the trip he most looked forward to was being on the road with his friends, not fucking Karkat Vantas, but he was out of options and he wasn't about to be a wet blanket about it. They get some human slash troll fuel in the form of sandwiches and coffee, and head back to the car to fill the tank. Dave leans against the side of the trunk while eating his breakfast and simultaneously talking Karkat's ear off about the things he learned that morning, sensing that the other needed a distraction.
Jade's TA broke his tailbone and canceled lab on the day of the exam review, and may or may not have given his students the test bank as an apology, which Karkat is going to appreciate during the next semester when he takes the course. Karkat definitely perks up at that, which is good. A first sign of life behind those defeated eyes!
Dave also tells him Rose keeps talking about Kanaya's thesis which Karkat grumbles Jesus, same here, with the suffering being in reverse. He gets some grade-A Karkat complaints out of that one, which is fan-fucking-tasking. We're almost back to normal.
Finally, Dave drops a bomb. Turns out John dropped out of school? Like, a month ago?
"What?!"
"Yeah, fucking join the club, dude. We're still trying to figure out what the fuck happened there."
"Why? He wasn't failing out or anything! He always had his shit together too. He was doing better off than most of us fuckheads."
"You're preaching to the choir, man. I'm thinking we give him some pure vodka and speedrun getting an answer out of him this weekend."
"I'll hold him down while you funnel it in his mouth," Karkat answers seriously. They snort in unison. It's not that serious. It's sad, yeah. There's that silent understanding that John wasn't okay at all, but Christ what can you do in these kinds of situations but cope with a little humor? Karkat returns the pump and takes the sandwich Dave offers him without a word. They move the car to the parking lot and eat in silence for a moment. It's surprisingly nice. The sky is blue, the morning chill is still there since Karkat has his windows down, and they can hear excited chatter among chirping birds in the background. It was still the road trip experience Dave sought. It was nice. Even if it was with Karkat. Dave looks over to him, and can't get that aching feeling out of his heart.
"How are you doing with school?" he asks.
Karkat glares down at his sandwich. Dave thinks he's not going to get a response, but the fight seems to leave Karkat with the exasperate sigh he lets out. "I'm okay. I'm not about to drop out or anything. Just tired."
"Yeah, I feel you."
"It's a lot to fucking juggle."
Dave nods. They eat the last of their sandwiches and sip their coffees. The smell of diesel fills the air, but it's easy to ignore now that they've sat in it for so long.
"I just wish I was doing it better."
"It?"
"Everything! Academically, socially, fuck, romantically. I thought I'd be doing it all so differently."
"Your romcoms have poisoned your brain, Karkat. Elle Woods isn't real, dude. She can't hurt you."
"She'd never hurt me."
"You'll never be her, either."
"Fuck you! Now I want to watch Legally Blonde but I have to sit with you for another hour and stare at nothing but concrete and play is it garbage or roadkill?"
"Okay, first of all, it's always roadkill."
"Eugh."
"Secondly, I can reenact the movie from memory on our way to the lakehouse if you want. I'll even do different voices."
"That sounds awful," Karkat says with a smile. Dave catches himself grinning too. The ache has settled when they take one last bathroom break and stretch their legs. Dave sees Karkat's exhaustion for what it is, a tired nineteen-year-old who needs to catch a break, and insists on driving them the rest of the way. Karkat, for as good as he thinks he is at debating with others to get his way, stands no chance to Dave snatching his keys out of his hand and holding them out of reach above his head. Take that, you petite little idiot. You absolute fucking fool.
Dave takes his rightful seat behind the wheel and waits for Karkat to begrudgingly join him.
"Before we go, I have two rules," Dave mentions casually when the other puts on his seatbelt.
"Tell them both to go fuck themse—"
"Rule number one. You gotta try to catch some Z's man. It's fucking freaky when you're all quiet and despondent. Nobody's gonna sit with Mr. Doom and Gloom at the bonfire."
Karkat doesn't have a rebuttal, which only proves Dave's point. "Jesus, at least pretend to be offended that I dare have the audacity to claim that you aren't going to be the life of the party."
"I'm fucking not, why would I pretend I am? I'll be lucky if my friends remember that I'm there."
Oh. The ache is back. Karkat's wobbling voice certainly doesn't help. Dave places a hand on Karkat's shoulder and squeezes, hoping to get his attention. He's stubbornly turned away from Dave, looking out the window.
"They don't actually care if I'm there. I slept in and no one thought to come to check on me. Or to drag me out of my respiteblock! They all readjusted so fast. I think they were hoping I'd turn back. I probably should have—"
"Hey. They love you. I don't know where this shit is coming from but all your friends ever do is talk about you. Like. Fondly. Fuck, even my friends got the Vantas infection. I can't go two minutes without someone bringing up how something I said reminded them of you."
More silence. Well, and a sniffle.
"Damnit, Karkat." Dave reaches over and cups the other's cheeks, forcing him to turn and meet his gaze. "Your sleep-deprived pan is playing some cruel tricks on you. Trust me, I'm the king of having Mean Brain Syndrome and silent breakdowns."
"Really?" He sounds so small. He looks small. Wide, watery eyes, flushed cheeks and messy locks of jet-black hair accentuating his youthful features. "I can't imagine you of all people..." he trails off, piercing gaze seemingly looking through Dave's shades and straight into his soul.
Dave releases Karkat's cheeks a little too fast, but the other doesn't notice as he sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve.
"Yeah, dude. Of course. It's not all smooth raps and sick beats up in here." Karkat scoffs. Dave gently punches his arm. "I'm just saying, man. None of us got our shit together. We all have stuff going on and sometimes we get so tunnel-visioned we don't see the people around us."
Karkat sniffles again.
"Terezi went with Vriska."
"Ugh. That explains it."
"And Sollux somehow decided the fun van with Fef, Aradia and Eridan was the play."
Karkat laughs. It seems that understanding dawns on him as he nods at Dave. He punches him in the arm as well, none too gently mind you, the prick, but he's smiling again, which is good. Fucking day saved by the Dave-meister, master of unflipping shit and returning life to the way it was supposed to be: with an angry little troll and his volume control issues.
"So yeah, time to abide by rule number one."
"Fine, but—" Karkat pulls Dave into a hug that neither expect judging by how stiff Karkat is at first, which is hilariously ironic. Karkat was a hugger. Dave, not so much. Karkat hugging Dave was fucking absurd, but hey. Maybe they could blame this weird turn of events on the gasoline fumes they've been inhaling for the past half hour.
Dave melts into the embrace. He gets why everyone tackles Karkat for these. He's warm and sorta just... slots perfectly into your arms.
"Thanks, Dave," he says quietly enough that Dave almost misses it. "Seriously."
"No probs, dude. I know we aren't that close but fuck me if we can't trauma bond through the bullshit that is undergrad."
Karkat huffs a small laugh. Dave pats his back. They're about to pull away when Karkat quickly adds, "You're really nice."
"Yeah, the nicest. So about that going to sleep so that I don't have to hear you talk rule, hm?"
"No," Karkat says, jostling Dave for emphasis. He then squeezes him tightly. "You can't dry-humor your way out of this sincere one-to-one with me, Strider. You're kind-hearted and I need to make sure you know that."
Now that's funny. Dave is a lot of things. He's lucky most do think of him as cool. His closest friends call him a dork, but hey, that's fine too. But kind-hearted? His Bro would have laughed in his face if he heard that. He'd then proceed to beat the shit out of him for making him hear something so fucking atrocious. Dave pulls away from the hug with a crooked grin. He has nothing to say to something so absurd. Instead, he turns his attention to twisting the key in the ignition and pressing his foot down on the brake as he puts the car in reverse.
Kind-hearted.
Yeah, okay dude. Sure. Fuck. His chest tightens. He hopes the other doesn't notice the little spiral he's having. He focuses on his breathing, and on his exhale; he's good. All he needed was to breathe out and he was back to normal. Easy peasy.
"Ready to go?"
"Yeah, fuck. I'm going to try to sleep. Wake me up when we get there. Or if I talk in my sleep."
"No way dude, that sounds like some prime fucking entertainment."
Dave checks behind him to make sure no one is walking by. He slowly releases the brake just as Karkat asks "What was the second rule?"
"Oh yeah. We need some tunes," Dave says as he presses what he thinks is the radio button. Music plays, but turns out it's from whatever playlist Karkat had been listening to on his way here.
Dave slams on the brake.
"Dave, what the fuck! O—oh. Um."
It's from Dave's mixtape. He has a collection of his music that he sometimes drops in the big group chat. He never expects anyone to listen to it more than once, let alone at all. Some of their mutual friends were so polite with their responses. "It's so good, Dave!" was always appreciated. He knows how hard it was to get someone to listen to a song recommendation, let alone a song you put out, period, so he takes those kind comments with the utmost grace.
But knowing someone liked his music enough to listen to it again, on repeat, on a long drive out of town. To have his music chosen as the dedicated theme song to a long road trip, something people tend to argue over, debating over which songs should be played, something that he personally takes pretty fucking seriously, breaks something in him. The ache he thought he felt for Karkat comes back tenfold. He realizes it's a pain he's only ever harbored for himself, but kept deep within the pits of his chest, that comes bursting out of him.
"What the fuck?" Dave laughs. His voice cracks as he says it. His eyes sting, for some reason. Why was this like a punch in the gut to him? He should be flattered, and he is, but this turn of events is so unexpected he can only feel emotional.
"What? It's good! Fucking sue me for unironically liking something my friend made."
Dave laughs again. Fuck! He wipes his tears with his sleeve, bumping his shades out of the way as he does. Friend? He's only ever been flippant to Karkat's entire existence! He's only ever complained about his raucous laughter and teased him about his sleep-deprived fits. He's only ever poked fun at his abhorrent tastes in movies and dismissed his multiple attempts at pulling some form of sincerity out of Dave. Kind-hearted? Dave was the opposite. Those words should be used to describe Karkat, if anything.
"Uh oh. I broke you too. Great! I knew I was cursed."
Dave laughs again, teetering on the edge of hysteria as his song's beat changes, transitioning to an uptick of those snares he loves so much.
"Fuck. No, I'm good. I'm fine," Dave says as he wipes the last of his tears. "You have awful taste, dude. In movies and music and friends."
"Fuck you. Everything you just listed is something I can confidently say I have superior taste in. Your primitive human puzzle sponge couldn't absorb a fine understanding of the arts and friendship the way I do even if you lobotomized yourself trying!"
"Lobotomizing myself sounds like the exact thing I'd need to do to get to your level."
They banter some more. It seems Karkat is choosing to help Dave get over his brief emotional meltdown by acting like he never noticed it to begin with. Their teasing arguments eventually transition to pleasant conversation, then nothing at all. Karkat falls asleep, head resting against the window, his hood tucked between his ear and the hard surface acting as a cushion. Dave can admit, in the deepest recesses of his mind, that Karkat looks cute like this.
He also thinks he's safe from those thoughts and whatever the fuck is going on in his stomach (sword-fighting moths, he concludes) when they make it to the cottage. He parks the car next to John's and looks out at the lake. A few of their friends were on the deck, already unpacked and settled in. Dave turns to Karkat's sleeping figure and gently shakes his shoulder. The other only groans in response, which, fuck. Okay. He's cute is a thought that apparently refuses to go back into those mind recesses they came from. They've had enough of running around on the field and going down the stainless steel slides that burn your skin in the unbearable Texas heat. Those intrusive Karkat is cute thoughts want to stay at the forefront of his brain, ever the studious student working toward a 4.0 GPA.
Dave looks at Karkat, and again at their friends, who haven't noticed their arrival.
"Hey," he says quietly. He shakes him again, but Karkat is stubbornly refusing to open his eyes. Fine by him. Dave unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over. "Hey, Karkat," he repeats. No response. Dave squeezes his shoulder and experiences the most pathetic attempt at someone wriggling away from his grasp ever. A fucking toddler could fight him off better.
Karkat frowns as he's gently jostled from his slumber. His pouting lips are a little dry from the air conditioning, but his cheeks are plump and rosy from his hour-long slumber. Dave finds he can't stop himself from trying to find out what it feels like. He uses the back of his index finger to caress the skin and confirms with some degree of glee that it's exactly what he thought it'd be. Smooth and warm and inviting. Without a second thought, he leans over and presses his lips to Karkat's cheek.
Eyes fly open. Long lashes flutter and incoherent sounds of confusion escape dry lips, but Dave isn't processing any of it. He couldn't if he tried. His heart is hammering so loudly in his chest that it feels like his brain produced white noise just to protect his eardrums from it. He's out of the car in an instant, telling Karkat that they made it and he'd see him around before shutting the door behind him and rushing inside to meet with his friends.
Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck.
"Hey! You made it in one piece!" John laughs.
Dave jumps and whips around to the voice.
"Yeah, more or less," Dave nods, trying his damnest to seem nonchalant. His friends are in the kitchen, distracted with lunch preparations. He hovers for a bit, catching them up to speed on the ride: totally boring and uneventful, by the way, (I didn't just kiss Karkat and run away), and tries to offer his assistance wherever possible. He's only met with polite rejection and a mean smack to the back of his hand for trying to snack on some of the appetizers. Eventually, he is dismissed to collect his belongings from the living room since the couches are claimed by two. He's instructed to put his overnight bag in the one bedroom they have left, a single Twin XL bed.
"Hey, sorry I tried to save you a spot with us but everyone sort of first come first served the place," John says with an apologetic shrug. "You and Karkat are gonna have to share."
Fuck.
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euclydya · 3 months ago
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!! [slides in excitedly] hello i hope i am not bothering you all (please feel free to take your time/ignore i won't mind hkjhg <22) i saw that yall got classpects and wanted to help explain!!!!!!! :]
i do not know what Form implies since it is noncanonical, but Doom is about endings, destruction, and the necessity of acceptance! there can be depression or apathy, but endings aren't always bad things. the ending of a tortuous time loop, the satisfying conclusion to a game, the grand finale of an album. leaving awful situations, the end of bad times, sunsets of brutally hot days, the cooling reprieve of night. if things don't end, when will you finally get to rest and process things? the Death card in tarot, essentially: the transition after major upheaval. resting in that dark space after a big change before you begin life again. letting things be as they may, knowing endings must happen, a real "it be like that sometimes" aspect. Memento mori, remember death, and let that make life worthwhile!!
(Life is its opposite aspect, of beginnings, energy, and growth.)
Knights are literally my favorite class (<- this is probably not surprising!! but also i posit there is no bad knight in homestuck, that being Dave, Karkat and Latula.) Knights of Doom can protect doom, allowing people or yourselves to grieve without needing to push straight into the healing process, to rest after a long ordeal. Or to protect using doom, guarding against toxic positivity with needed pragmatism, and allowing things to end as they need to. Or, y'know. Protector using Doom for real, i.e. "You want me to kill that guy for you?"
Knights also often hide behind a facade, sometimes having to do with their aspect. Karkat, for example, hides behind his "ANGRY SHOUTY FUCKASS I HATE EVERYONE" persona, when he actually really cares about his team and friends (<- Knight of Blood). Knights of Doom might put on a facade of some kind to hide the feelings of doom inside.
if yall are Mages, we can be mages together!! :D Mages do NOT get much explanation, but i have personal speculation :3 if yall are Mages of Doom that makes yall Sollux's classpect! Mages gain and keep knowledge of their aspect through experience of/"suffering through" their aspect personally. If yall experienced depression, destruction, and/or upheaval in your lives, this would be fitting. Mages often keep their experiences to themselves, as opposed to their counter class, Seers, who often share this information. (Seers are like teachers sharing knowledge, Mages are like students taking knowledge in!)
They also carry the need to balance between too much and too little of their aspect, using their experiences to know when to shift balance. Mages of Doom would experience too much doom at some points in their lives, and very little doom during others. the cycle of life, doom, then rebirth, and knowing this balancing act intrinsically.
(Personally as a Mage myself, I have to balance between my aspect of Breath [distance, isolation, freedom] and its opposite, Blood [relationships, connections, dependency]. however, im not always the healthiest about these things and can often veer too far into either one!) if yall are Mages, yall might also strive to find balance between Doom (endings, destruction, acceptance) and Life (beginnings, growth, change)! the hibernation of winter to prepare for the new spring, to grow and wither and grow back stronger, to live and die and live again.
TL;DR: [Protector of/Protector using] OR [Knower of/Balancer of] [Apocalypse, Endings, Death, Acceptance, Rest]
sorry i know you all did not ask for this, this is just an old hyperfixation of mine :'] this is all speculation and personal interpretation, thank you for reading any of it if yall did <222
As soon as we finished taking that test actually we WANTED to ask you for your explanation on our classpect, so thank you so much!!! We just. Didn't wanna be a botherUEHFJDJDJF we try to not send you too many asks at once we don't wanna overwhelm you ahaha
Reading your explanation I'm not sure which fits us best tbh we might just Be Both cuz by the end of the day things like Classpects and similar concepts are Boxes people intentionally put emselves in for funsies yeah? And sometimes people just don't fit into one box entirely. (aka Both Fit Us Really Well. Fuck. HFJDJSNFFB)
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selamat-linting · 2 years ago
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parts 2 of my previous homestuck post, now on to the things i find silly!
-yaoi tournament will live free forever in my head. so as the horse cock. this is the worst thing hussie has ever done. i legit did not know it was an actual horse cock like i think it was just a giant blue dildo 😭😭😭😭
-the dancestors are really lame people like oh my god. beforus kids are giant dorks i cant believe their alternia counterparts are so badass like, take aranea and mindfang. just look at the contrast. first one is a nerd who would pay people for attention and the other is a girlboss who doesnt give a shit.
-one thing i do like from kankri is that he gave us plenty if funny karkat suffers joke. i love how this loser makes karkat do the walter white face lmaoooo he just cant get a break is he?
-and penis ouija!!! god why is he like that? everytime karkat is on screen i feel secondhand embarrassment like. i cant believe i shared classpects with this guy. why are you biting dave's cape are you in kindergarten? worst of all i think i've done something similarly embarrassing in school. thats it im changing my classpect im a knight of light from now on fuck off.
-still, thats not as horrible as rose's fuckup with her date. oh my god somebody gives her a chill pill she is going to lick herself bald like a stressed kitten. which is really funny because she and kanaya seems so... not nervous when talking to each other. you'd think their date would be a normal casual discussion between two awesome self assured girls. No its not. theyre both have gotten good at looking like theyre not close to exploding. but we all know none of them are Hinged.
-And oh, tavris they are doing you both dirty. like, its an improvement that vriska actually says something positive to him and that tavros did speak up against her at some points. but the narrative doesnt really want them to grow as a person. i think hussie has gotten too attached to vriska the unapologetic thief of light to the point that its reflecting badly on her and other's character development. okay fine i did say i wont take it seriously, but im a writer too. ofc i will notice the issues.
- this might be an unpopular opinion but i like the elevatorstuck music. gamzee is like, getting close to be my scrunkly like i know he does atrocities but he is really funny when doing it.
-the lands for the alpha kids are really fascinating. its less lively than the beta kids but im glad i actually get to experience the puzzles they have to solve on quests and its relations with the players' classpect. i want to see jane fulfilling her planets wish to be green and fertile. she gets too much shit talk from caliborn so i want to see her get a win yknow? and she's so goofy like her beta counterpart i want to see her happy and silly like egbert too.
-speaking of egbert, im kinda worried for him. can you believe it? he doesnt like con air anymore. i've been in his phase of starting to lose all joy in things i used to like and feeling lonely even with people around me and its not pretty. i know he went through a lot. i hope the experience with the dream bubble would make him happier even if just for a bit
-and another beta kids i want to be sad about: davesprite! he's so alone. all of his friends from the timeline is gone, he's not the main dave anymore and john keeps treating him like a replacement. its like he's relegated to a nobody who happens to have a recognizable face. poor guy.
-and to be sad again, i know i made fun of karkat a lot, but i have the biggest parental instinct for him. aside from terezi. he's the biggest crier out of the group. he's shouty and annoying but thats very much the kind of annoying shit that children do yknow? at first i dont like him because of his attitude to jade, but slowly i did warm up to him. he never really hated anybody and most of his tantrums are generally harmless to other people. in fact, he blames himself a lot about things that are out of his control. he's the one with the least body count from the rest of the trolls and he literally had to grew up hunted and unwanted by society. i want to give him a hug, i truly do.
-okay back to fanboying. roxy!!!! shit. man i adore that she has an aura that makes any surveillance camera blackout nearby. yes, girl, BECOME UNGOVERNABLE.
-and i cant believe im saying this, but i miss sollux. at first i was just joking about finding him interesting because he has my star sign and is good at coding but yeah. i do miss the guy. where is he really?
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pesterloglog · 11 months ago
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John Egbert
Act 6, page 7211-7219
JOHN: whoa, it worked!
JOHN: ha ha, i remember this!
JOHN: oh man, this is great.
JOHN: hey guys!
JOHN: hey me!!
JOHN: you're looking almost as handsome as the other me i just saw.
JOHN: don't ask, it's a long story. all you need to know is we are both looking great, as usual.
JOHN: dang, this was such a cool moment!
JOHN: hard to believe it was only...
JOHN: hours ago?
JOHN: days ago?
JOHN: these zappy shenanigans are making me lose track of time.
JOHN: whatever, it was just a really nice surprise when you all randomly appeared on my birthday and fell on the grass!
JOHN: i would love to have this sweet reunion all over again with you guys...
JOHN: we had some great conversations here on this lonely stone henge planet. i really wouldn't mind listening to everything we said again word for word!
JOHN: but i can't.
JOHN: i don't know if this makes sense...
JOHN: but when we all came together like this out of the blue, and had our long awaited reunion...
JOHN: i'm not sure if we really earned it yet?
JOHN: we didn't realize it at the time, but there were still a bunch of problems waiting to happen.
JOHN: like, some lingering issues that were going to pull us all apart again, and make us fight to get back together once and for all.
JOHN: but don't worry, i'm working to overcome all those problems right now.
JOHN: that's why i'm here!
JOHN: it's also why i can't hang around all day babbling like a fool. i really need to quit yapping and hit the road.
JOHN: see you karkat!
JOHN: i hope your pals don't take it personally, but you were always my favorite troll.
JOHN: the shouty tirades you are going to have on this hilly planet are going to be epic and hilarious. i will never forget them.
JOHN: kanaya, take good care of him for me, ok? thanks.
JOHN: dave! see you in a different reality, buddy.
JOHN: be sure to take care of mr. mayor too.
JOHN: your beautiful friendship with a cute chess man is an inspiration to us all.
JOHN: i hope and firmly believe it will transcend the boundaries of even the most ludicrous retcon shenanigans.
JOHN: (heheheh.)
JOHN: goodbye, rose. it makes me happy to see you alive and well, even if only for a minute.
JOHN: i'm going to make sure i never have to watch you die again.
JOHN: sorry if that sounds morbid and confusing, but... yeah.
JOHN: and if you see her around, say hello to roxy for me!
JOHN: haha, oh yeah. hey terezi.
JOHN: i feel like this is some big joke you are in on too.
JOHN: but you probably don't have the slightest clue what's going on, do you?
JOHN: maybe it's better that way, heh.
JOHN: anyway, the plan is going perfectly so far. ;)
JOHN: (i just winked.)
JOHN: so yeah, time to go get that ring.
JOHN: i don't know what's going to happen to you all once i change stuff...
JOHN: maybe you'll stop existing? i don't have a damn clue, to be honest.
JOHN: but just so you know, you will always keep existing in my heart.
JOHN: bye!
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knights-unwelcommentary · 3 years ago
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Karkat: We can’t even fault you for not realizing how much everyone here hates your pathetic little comic because to have that smidge of awareness you’d need to be anything other than a self-congratulatory, talentless schmuck!!!!
Dave: B|
Dave, starts to leave:
Karkat: Fuck, wait. I’m sorry! I got carried away!
Dave: Man, I’m not down to clown with you right now. This whole song and dance’s getting old really fucking fast
Dave: Also, apologizing is for pussies fyi. Stop embarrassing yourself
Karkat: What even is--? Shit, forget I asked that. What I’m trying to say is
Karkat: You’re not Sollux’s replacement and I’m sorry I keep acting like you are. Fuck, we’re practically strangers, you didn’t sign up for my abhorrent company, much less my--
Dave: Okay. Now I’m offended
Dave: Are you really comparing me with the dude that ditched you not even ten minutes after you cried like a little bitch over his dead corpse? Bro, that’s nasty as fuck
Karkat: Not that it’s your business in any way but I’m sure he wouldn’t have left under normal circumstances. We were all going through a lot, and I know you probably forgot again so I’m saying it *again*, because we just went through a fucking three way murder spree
Dave: Or maybe the guy just sucks and was always going to fuck off as soon as shit hit the fan
Karkat: He’s my best friend, alright?! I could forgive the clown, Sollux is relatively blameless in front of that
Dave: What I’m taking away from this is that you totally had some weird enemies-but-not-really thing going on. I guess? Knowing that, then all the animosity debris you’ve been leaf blowing on my lawn like a petty neighbor is your weirdass shouty way of being friendly...
Karkat: Friendly gets you killed where I come from
Dave: I’m not hearing a no
Karkat: And what do you think that means?
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worstgirleva · 5 years ago
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This thread will explore the character design and visual cues for easy identification of characters in homestuck. Go in detail about design choices for specific characters and how they work well in differentiating the characters
It has already been explored how her long jacket makes her look smaller, but it’s an interesting addition to her design and balances all the indigo she wears otherwise she would be wearing more indigo than her actual color. When looking at the base sprites for characters in homestuck it’s interesting how they’re both at the same time 1: very simple, following the same base and lacking various characteristics (like noses and ears) and 2: extremely easy to differentiate from each other. 
Even arguably the two characters most alike to each other, June and Jake who have the exact same face and only differentiate from each other by their hair and outfit are easy to tell apart even when ignoring their bodies and looking only to their faces.
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And of course we should mention the use of different glasses for easy identification of the characters. In a comic where characters are so simple it begs the question: how to make characters easily identifiable? The answer? A lot of glasses.
Jake and June again are the only ones who share a pair of glasses, all the others have one completely unique to them. Jade has round ones, Jane has oval ones, and we absolutely can’t ignore the iconic Strider shades.
Dave and Dirk’s shades have not only become something to easily identify the character, but almost a platonical symbolic representation of their characters. Dirk’s glasses specifically considering how unique they are and how they associate him with anime protagonists
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This makes the few characters like Rose and Roxy that don’t use glasses almost unique in their own ways. When six out eight kids wear glasses being the only ones who don’t becomes a novelty (not even mentioning Meat Roxy’s heart shades).
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Other subtle details in each character like how their hair is build, mostly using basic shapes that don’t even look like hair and more like a symbolic representation of hair. Like Dirk and Dave's hair are literally birds turned 90 degrees.
Other details like Rose’s headband, the Prospit kid’s buck teeth in contrast with the Lalonde’s lipstick and between their eyes with Jade and Jane’s while June and Jake only have dots for eyes.
Their symbols on their chests and the main detail of their outfit is also a huge signifier of who you’re looking to and part of their personality. Also the only hint of color in their initial outfit designs.
Their bottoms are all also simple and minimalist representation of their clothes. Jade has a long skirt that slightly sits on top of her shoes: You can either read that as just a normal part of her long skirt, or that she’s too small for her skirt.
And now we get into how their designs are so abstract that you can easily have different interpretations of visual things. Some things are just shapes and colors in a way different people will interpret it in different ways.
Maybe Roxy’s hair just looks like that or maybe it’s meant to represent the beehive haircut that was popular in the 60’s linking to Mom Lalonde’s vintage housewife aesthetics.
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So let’s skip to act 5 and take a look at the trolls: The first one to have their appearance shown is Karkat. You can consider him the default troll that all others are defined by how they’re different from him.
He has no glasses, little bags under his eyes and what I like to think is the equivalent of buck teeth connecting him with June. They also help his face look less blank. Adding fangs and teeth to trolls is another easy way to make their designs unique.
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His hair is very wild which fits into being an literal alien and presents how other trolls will also be wild and have more different designs. His shirt is black, a clear juxtaposing to the kid’s white outfits as the trolls have mostly black clothes.
Creating a clear distinction between kids and trolls and a shared motif between each group. Karkat also has a symbol on his shirt, but a astrological sign one in contrast with the kids having mostly symbols that don’t properly make a pattern.
And of course: he has horns. Giving each character unique horn designs fitting their zodiac motif and personality is another great way of differentiating between them. Each one has a distinct pair of horns that can be easily used to differentiate them.
The next to be introduced is Gamzee: His expression reflects his personality. His hair is even more wild and barely even looks like hair. It's just a lot of shapes together conveying the idea of very wild and unkempt hair.
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His horns are much longer and his teeth looks like proper fangs and his facial paint and pants details reinforce his clown aesthetic. He also wears his blood color on his shoes presenting the pattern.
Why is Gamzee often considered the tallest troll? All characters in homestuck have no clear size distinctions. In this image we see Nepeta and Equius (who fanon wise often have very different body types) having the exact same height and body type.
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And while Karkat is shouty, he is also harmless, making it common the body type of a very angry little marshmallow. Kanaya on the other hand is composed and refined, making it easy to view her as tall, but in a very different way that Gamzee is tall.
Terezi, has a much more kempt hair and a simple design. Her horns are small, just a little more sharp than Karkat’s, but she is also the first one to have glasses, bright red ones like her shoes which connects her design to Vriska.
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Her glasses are another point of iconicity. Where you could only draw a piece that is enterily composed of her glasses and the viewer will know that it’s about Terezi Pyrope.
Her smile and her sharp teeth is another point that brings her personality out. She is sharp and although she is smiling it’s not a friendly and welcoming smile. It’s a smile that invokes fear as she is not scared of violence.
Sollux is another one that comes with iconic glasses. They’re not only useful as a visual signifier, but it fits his duality theme and the two universes. They’re perfectly round in contrast of Terezi’s sharp glasses following shape theory
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Rounder shapes are whole and friendly in contrast with triangles that are more dynamic, volatile and aggresive. Sollux might not show it, but he is also harmless and one of the trolls with the largest common sense among the twelve and highly caring for the others.
He also has 4 horns. They’re all very simple, but the fact he has the double amount than all the others not only also fits his themes, but also helps to easily differentiate him from the others. His hair is short, simple and somewhat kempt.
Unsure over the intent of his “bangs”. Are they just short? His hairline? There is a joke about him cutting his hair with funny scissors. Interpretation. And for last his shoes also fit his theme of duality. A small detail, but helps to build his character with few cues.
Tavros has a mohawk (or side cuts, interpretation) and very large bull horns. He wears sandals on the color of his blood and a jacket in contrast to all the others that wears only shirts (something he shares with Vriska)
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We will be mostly focusing on Aradia’s dead form because she just changes forms too much in a period of time too small. First: her eyes are completely blank a very clear visual signifier if you ask me!
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Her ram horns reinforces her motif and red lipstick and lashes makes her face that would be otherwise quite bland more unique. Her skirt reflects how she is dead and i like the implication that her shirt is button up one.
Another on the list of “things that are implied, but not actually confirmed so its open to you on how you want to draw them”. Her hair is long and fluffy, like a sheep’s fur! Another fitting into her motif.
Next we have Nepeta. She is the first one to have clothes of the blood color of someone important to her. Directly connecting her design to her moirallegiance to Equius. Her mouth and horns fit into her cat motif and her wild hair reflects how unkept she is.
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It has already been explored how her long jacket makes her look smaller, but it’s an interesting addition to her design and balances all the indigo she wears otherwise she would be wearing more indigo than her actual color.
And how long can we talk about homestuck without her eventual appearance? That’s right, the next one to introduced is Vriska Serket. Part of the iconic glasses gang her half shades aviator and eightfold eyes makes not only for an easy signifier that “yes, this is Vriska”
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But fun fact! the reason i started reading homestuck in the first place was because i saw an image of vriska and i wanted to know what was the deal with her eye.
Her horns reflect the hook and and arrow in her symbol, but also there’s meta about how it represents the sun and the moon. Much to think about. It also connects her with Kanaya as they share one horn since both of their signs are “M”s.
Her jacket is something she shares with tavros and her red shoes she shares with Terezi. Her large hair has a small bit that reminds me Jade which I like to think links to how they’re almost opposites, but I might be just making this up (interpretations!)
Also her eye patch and metal arm links her to captain hook, but I already wrote a very long meta on that too. https://tinyurl.com/qooc5el
Next is Equius. His horn is broken which explores how trolls *can* break their horns over physical trauma. It fits into his symbol and also phallic metaphors. He also wears iconic glasses: square shattered ones with eye bags underneath.
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His default mouth brings in to the fact he constantly breaks his teeth and he is one of the only characters with straight hair. And for last: while Nepeta wore indigo all over her her body, Equius doesn’t wear a single piece of green clothing.
Kanaya somewhat follows Terezi and Vriska’s of bright red pieces. Her hair is short and very sharp with few details. Her visible fangs make her mouth more unique. Her long skirt connects her with Jade as they’re both space players.
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Her design is clean and conveys very well the idea of how refined and consistent she is. She cares about her appearance and also her T-shirt long sleeve shirt combo also helps to make her more unique
Eridan and Feferi are awfully more detailed than the others like the more far from Karkat we get the unique designs do (which also reflects on how detailed the dancestors are). But anyway.
Eridan is the only one to have dyed hair. His face doesn’t need that many details as he also has those big square glasses and seadweller fins. He wears a lot of Vriska’s color showing how he didn’t moved on from their break up and golden rings to show royalty.
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Feferi is almost the only one with no bangs which already makes her design unique. Her golden tiara and goggle make her face unique and simple to signify. her outfit is awfully detailed compared to others with golden jewelry and whatever that skirt was.
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All the unique glasses help to frame all the character’s faces and make clear who they are even with the lack of noses, ears or different facial shapes. All the different types of tooth and color of lipstick help to easily differentiate their mouths
It ends up creating designs that could be hyper simplified and still be recognizable. Reducing a character to it’s bare essentials, but it’s already presented on it’s bare essentials so you only elaborate on that.
Not only that but they're reduced to platonical symbols that can easily be subverted so a character can be so many different things.
And here’s hyper fast doodles of each character I did to prove how simple it is to convey an image that can easily be related to each character.
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A few more bits on other characters: The midnight crew all have unique body shapes as they lack hair and have very simple designs. They also have unique hats for each one.
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Doc Scratch’s head is a white circle. You really can’t go more unique than that. You see a large white circle, that’s doc scratch. It's hyper simple, but also not meant to be interpreted. It *is* a circle and that's it.
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The Felt has very unique body shapes since there is way too many of them and they need to be clearly different from each other. They also have unique mouths and and hats, not only in color, but also in shape, to elaborate on that.
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The cherubs, well they’re green so it’s easy to distinguish them from other characters and it's interesting how they're so similar to each other, but also so easily differentiated: eyes, cheeks, mouth expression and outfit is all you need to see the clear distinction.
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thank you for reading
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me-and-my-gaster · 5 years ago
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since I know u love them, DaveKat bb :>c ❤❤
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DaveKat
nope | meh | dunno | ok | good | YEEEESSSS!!! | TAKE MY HEART!!! |  MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, I love them very much!
Two dumb boys. One angery soft, the other aloof dork. There’s a lot of things I love in this ship and I spent quite a lot scouring AO3 for fanfics with them as the main ship. But lemme just pick those bits I love seeing
the way Dave keeps his sunglasses on unless it’s Real Time or Smooch Time with Karkat
the way Karkat loses his shit about Dave’s eyes
the way Dave angers the shouty boy because he looks cute when angery
the way Karkat is such a sucker for romance but at the same time sucks in romance big time
the way Dave knows Karkat is a sucker for romance and Tries To Do Romance for him
protecc!!!!!
the way one is God Tier and the other not and the angst from that is amaze
the way one is God Tier and shenanigans occur because time and flying
the way Karkat gets protectively angery about Dave’s life
the way Dave gets protectively angery about Karkat’s life
the way they work through their traumas/issues together because ye
the way Karkat is angry at Dave’s text color
the way Dave bullshits his way into some gay pickup lines and backpedals and only digs himself deeper (he’s his own shovel)
all the miscommunication that makes them look like idiots
they are idiots
DICK OUIJA
the way they care about people but also hide it under coolness/anger
the way Karkat likes Dave’s music and is eager to learn how to mix
the way Dave likes how Karkat is all over the place when watching troll romcoms and other romance movies
the way Dave likes to annoy Karkat by watching some abhorrent human movies with him 
Karkles
Karkitty
Karkitten
KitKat
I just love them ok????
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davekat-sucks · 2 years ago
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Why do you think people like davekat? What seems to be the appeal?
Before it was the sort of aesthetic kind. Like how both are red dudes and both are Knights. The two are polar opposites. One is a cool dude while another is a shouty angry guy. Both have a habit to go on a long ass tangent once their mouth is open. And both are boys that are popular among the fandom among their character group. They have their badass moments here and there in the comic, but once they get through those kind of deeper moments, it turns to typical stuff that you see from fujoshi in any fandom that has a high character rate of men over girls. Boys Love series being the most obvious. Aside from that, the reasons behind it vary from what I've seen. Like both are these sad boys and could be the comfort to one another, but that seems to be a bit of co-dependency. Doesn't help that Dave still has his human friends around while Karkat doesn't have much. Yes, people like Terezi, Kanaya, Gamzee, and Vriska are there. But 3/4 of those people are not as great in terms of personality, actions they have done, and Kanaya is already married off and focused on her own duties. Karkat isn't doing much outside of it. Like aside from living peacefully under a new kingdom and shitting on Wayward Vagabond's grave of democracy? Does he have a job? Does he go out to other places? Teach stuff about what his home was like to other younger trolls and show that this new life was for the better since the hemospectrum is gone? What else besides living a peaceful life just sitting on his fatass all day watching shitty romcoms? To me, this whole thing with Davekat just has now been reduced to playing troll Barbie and Ken dolls in their dollhouse. You can say they do things like go to a job or work on something, but the main focus is just those two being in love and that's it. Nothing too deep. Sure it can apply to other ships, but I can argue that I see some at least could have moments they go farther due to events and history of the series that they had to go through and play around with those kinds of ideas. Like lets say Vriska ropes in John to be a pirate with her and sail out to seas on this new Earth. I can see the two getting closer together and maybe some shenanigans happen because of how open the possibility is. Like seeing a new creature that could be similar to lusii or finding lost buildings that had sank into the ocean. Eridan and Roxy could have do a historical reenactment towards the kids, with Eridan being on the losing and Roxy on the winning. Roxy having more knowledge of how these old weapons work while Eridan explains the origins behind these events. Roxy happy not only being a mother for her kid, but a teacher as well like she had with taking care of the Carapacians. Eridan is at least liked a little bit by his peers. Sure they would still tease and bully him to get a reaction for times he acts arrogant, but the violetblood can at least be humble at times to not act rudely towards other blood colors. Could imply that he is also an environmental activist and sees both land and sea as important, so it is helpful to make sure the Earth can be lived easily for both humans, trolls, carapacians, and animals. Roxy helps him in her lab to find cleaner resources and methods to improve everyone's lives. Dave and Jade could travel around the world to see many things they wish to go to and do things they had always wanted to do upon reaching there. Be it seeing the northern lights in the night sky, find artifacts in a hidden area for archaeological research, or enjoy going to other quiet places to get away from the paparazzi since Dave became a famous film maker for his Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff movies. I don't see much that Dave and Karkat can do together that's not the bullshit that we see in Epilogues or Homestuck 2. Sure banter each other is nice, but what else outside of it?
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cookiefonster666 · 6 years ago
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Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues (Tumblr Edition)
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I predicted the future!
Might as well adapt this Blogspot post I made about a week ago into Tumblr form, why not. With a few minor changes. I don’t like using Tumblr but I figure it’s a good additional platform to share my surprisingly positive views on the Homestuck Epilogues.
The epilogues have a lot of controversial content, most of which I avoid talking about here.
BRIEF SUMMARY
4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good
4/20, started Candy: what the fuck
4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything
4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now
4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK
BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY
Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go "OH FUCK", continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, "oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending". I was in for quite the nasty surprise.
I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn't take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the "bad ending". I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by "clear your whole week": this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.
Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn't take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don't use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.
DETECTIVE PONY AND METAFICTION
Before I move on and talk about the CHARACTERS, I'm going to discuss the meat epilogue's resemblance to sonnetstuck's Detective Pony. I love everything about Detective Pony, more than almost anything else in existence. My abnormal love for that godlike fanwork probably skewed my perception of Meat a bit. Starting from page 17, Dirk takes over the narration then fights over it with god tier Calliope; both do rather questionable deeds and Dirk was hit hard by fans as a result. Seeing other fans react towards that character with such hostility gave me a very distinct feeling of "what, am I missing something?" Dirk's takeover felt like a lengthy work of comedy to me; a story that never strips away from the fact that it's fiction, in a vein near identical to that of Detective Pony. I like to think I am in the right for perceiving that arc this way, because I think everyone who has read Homestuck should read Detective Pony. One of the epilogue authors read Detective Pony after writing the epilogues and was struck by it; I take this accidental mirroring of (post-)canon as proof that sonnetstuck understands Hussie's ways through and through. I like to think I have a solid understanding of Hussie's ways by now, but this guy is on a whole new level.
That said, the meat epilogue gets a bit carried away with metafiction to the point of making me think, "god when will things go back to normal". Towards the end of Detective Pony, Dirk goes through an existential crisis followed by a powerful revelation, and then resolves to do whatever it takes to erase his abominable creation. But the meat epilogue ends with (both figurative and literal) crashing and burning; no ultimate redemption for our poor Strider. Homestuck doesn't usually have much of a problem with getting carried away with stupid nonsense; maybe a few rare occasions in cases like Hussie's self-insert scenes. But getting carried away is a major criticism I have with cool and new web comic. I love that comic to death, but the parts that take a long time to dwell on the cool and new characters being creepy or weird are a chore to go through. o (the author of CaNWC) seems to have improved in that regard; the cool and new trolls' arc is much more to-the-point with such nonsense.
Meat getting carried away with metafiction is a major cause of my initial burnout shortly after starting Candy. I was sick of this mass dump of metafiction and expected Candy to be a refreshing change of pace. Haha, if only. My fault for reading Meat first. At night I sometimes ponder in envy of the parallel universe me that started with Candy. Actually I don't do that, I just thought it was a funny thing to say. Though I have on more than a few occasions sat in bed fantasizing about how awesome my life probably is in some parallel universe. What point was I making again? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter. I guess I should write a similar overview of Candy's narrative nature. Here goes:
LUCK OF THE FRYRISH AND SADSTUCK
Sad things are sad.
^ There, that's my candy overview. How hard was that?
With the two summaries out of the way, I figure the best way to dump out my residual thoughts on the epilogues is going character by character. I won't do every character, mostly just the ones who played large roles and were already characters in Homestuck proper. I'm sorting these characters in tiers of how well I think the epilogues handle them, mostly from worst to best.
N-TIER
N is not the lowest tier; it's the tier that cannot be ranked. N stands for two things here: "Not Applicable" and "Narrators". Naturally enough, two characters fit into that tier.
Dirk Strider: I've already talked about this guy quite a bit. I have a fondness for Dirk's character and I think his dialogue and narration in meat do a good job portraying some ascended, ultimate version of his character without straying from his voice, the tone that makes him Dirk. That said, I'm a bit peeved that "normal Dirk", the one iteration of Dirk Strider that isn't total bonkers and just wants his friends to be happy, doesn't exist in this story. In Candy, Rose suddenly loses the memories of her alternate selves, but for some reason Dirk keeps those memories and soon after commits suicide; he's left out of the picture until Candy's postscript, which I guess is a reasonable balance considering his indulgence throughout Meat. But why is only one of the succulently verbose Strilondes let off the hook? Some readers imagine Dave as the comic's protagonist and Dirk as the antagonist; I've toyed with that idea myself and can see it symbolized, but it just feels so wrong to me. Maybe the authors did too good a job writing Dirk for me to be complacent with such a shift in role. His conversations with Rose were just as delightful as I had hoped and they aren't weighed down too much in light of his shift in role, at least not for me.
Alt Calliope: The narrative rival to Dirk, as I mentioned previously. I'm not totally sure what to say about her, other than that one could see her as a counterpart to let's say Anna Harley; a necessary piece in the Detective Pony analogy. Alt Calliope's narrative arguments with Dirk were hilarious and that's all there is to say on the matter.
G-TIER
I'm lucky Gamzee's name starts with a G, because this means I can give him a tier of his own worse than F. As an individual arc that is; he'd get a much higher rating when taken as part of a whole.
Gamzee Makara: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I despised reading every word that came out of this guy's mouth as soon as his """redemption arc""" started. But I can clearly tell that was the point and that the suffering that is reading his words has a much greater purpose. Before you deem me a masochist or the kind that insists everything is "bad on purpose", know that I am neither of those things but really do mean what I say here. Gamzee's role in Candy draws tension between individuality and the whole. Reading this guy's hogwash is suffering in and of itself, but ultimately it serves a role of showing us how fucked up the world of Candy is and helps the reader experience John's existential crisis with him.
F-TIER
As before, these tiers are strictly about character arcs in isolation and not the big picture. This tier is home to none other than the legendary...
Jane Crocker: Boy did I predict the future on that one. A bit like Dirk, I would've liked it more if in only one epilogue did sweet innocent little Jane become such a monster. No way in hell am I going to run through the asshole things she does; it's a load of sensitive topics I'm not comfortable discussing in any capacity. Instead, I'll say that if I had to choose only one epilogue where Jane ran through her crazy presidential campaign it would be Candy; as with Gamzee's arc, this campaign serves well as a part of John's existential crisis. What's weird here is that in Candy she originally cancelled all this, but later ended up basically doing it anyway with Dirk gone. I can imagine Jane going back to normal in Meat, maybe? Or in the hypothetical "true ending" I discussed prior.
D-TIER
Better known as "meh" tier. Mostly the characters that don't do much and I wished did more.
Meenah Peixes: Needed more screen time, god damn it. She survives the Furthest Ring apocalypse, nabs the Ring of Life, then makes her way to Candy Earth and joins Karkat in the rebellion. Maybe it makes sense that her and Karkat teaming up in war is relegated to the background, to show how far the shouty guy has come in comparison to everyone else. I'll come back to this point when I talked about Karkat.
Roxy Lalonde: Doesn't do too much in either side, but does go through some touchy topics I'm not sure what to think about; I'm most certainly not ready to talk about those topics now. And regardless, Roxy's role in the epilogues is better discussed when I talk about John and Terezi a few tiers up.
Calliope: Doesn't do all that much either, full circle to being the exposition alien with mysterious morality. I'm actually pretty OK with that. Certainly beats out the slog of endless "ur pretty" conversations. Calliope pretty much fades into the background on both sides, which is sad but fitting.
(About pronouns: I'll keep referring to Roxy and Calliope as "she" unless I find reason to talk about the little those two do in Meat. I just avoided using pronouns in those paragraphs above.)
C-TIER
Better known as "meh" tier, but with a more positive "meh" than before. It's the "meh" that indicates lukewarm satisfaction rather than annoyance at mediocrity.
Jade Harley: Really should be on a lower tier, because she did dick squat other than being horny and painfully oblivious to all the nonsense going on. But I'm a sucker for Jade being "Jade" and was happy to see even a trace of that early in Meat. As before, I'll avoid the controversial topics surrounding Jade in the epilogues, aside from pointing out that this post reads very different now.
Karkat Vantas: This guy's a bit of an odd spot. His leadership role is addressed in the absolute last way I expected. Could've gotten more attention from the story I suppose, but damn if his character arc didn't get the most triumphant return imaginable.
Kanaya Maryam: I touched upon Rose and Kanaya's relationship when I discussed the "buddy system" in my first epilogues post and I still stand by what I said there. Her strong attachment to Rose is integrated well into Meat without seeming like fluff or defining her entire character, because she actually does other things there too. In Candy they remain a stable happy relationship and I guess I'm cool with that.
Aradia Megido: Role is the same as ever and I'm fine with that. Death fangirl who works for predestination and has ambiguous morality. Her arc with alt Calliope ends with a cliffhanger that is easily the biggest reason to hope for a follow-up to the epilogues; if such a follow-up were to happen, I really look forward to hearing more from Aradia.
Sollux Captor: Sollux is by nature the other guy, that's an immutable fact of life. He doesn't do much other than snarking at whoever's nearby and I can't imagine it any other way.
Jake English: If not for a scene near the end of Candy, I'd put Jake at D-tier. Through all of Meat and most of Candy, Jake's role is one of the oddest spots of all and it's pretty hard to pinpoint what the authors were going for, lest I dabble in controversial topics some more. But Jake's scene with John near the end of Candy is uniquely touching and makes the most out of his role as a second John. He moves in with John, bringing his son Tavros with him, and encourages John to reconcile with his former wife and make amends of sorts, ultimately giving a small portion of the cast a pseudo-happy ending. That whole part of Candy made me tear up.
Talking about the really GOOD parts is a perfect point for me to move on to...
B-TIER
Stuff that didn't make it into A-Tier, which I've reserved for what struck me HARD.
Dave Strider: In both epilogues, Dave's behavior generally seems based on how he acted in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, which is actually a LOT better than it sounds and hell if I know why that is. Dave's rants about politics and sexuality now have a charm I can't quite describe. His absurd fixation specifically on the economy matches shockingly well with the nature of Homestuck. The three-way romance between him, Karkat, and Jade goes in very different directions on either side, which I'll discuss a bit later. The epilogues even made Dave x Karkat an actually decent ship, how crazy is that??? The writers deserve a big badge of honor for doing that. Not sure what to say about specific things, but Dave was really well-written in an unexpected way.
Rose Lalonde: Again not sure what to say about anything in specific. Just really enjoyed reading Rose on both sides of the story. Shoutout to the heartwarming moment with John near the end.
A-TIER
Oh boy. Oh boy. Time for the big guns.
Vriska Serket: My mind hurts to process just how good Vriska's appearance in Candy was, after leaving the Furthest Ring and landing on Earth. First she talks with John rather aggravated, then she brutally murders Gamzee, then she sits down and has an honest talk with her ectobiological clone raised by Rose and Kanaya, and in the end gets in touch with Terezi which leads to a cliffhanger. The story somehow created the PERFECT balance of sincere reflections and typical Vriska flavor, which was deeply lacking in A6A6I5 with its horrific polar opposite versions of Vriska. Two Vriskas converse once again late in Candy and this time it's incredibly endearing and almost feels like an apology for the controversial Vriska/Vriska encounter back then. I accept the apology with open arms. Why is everything always so wonderful?
John Egbert: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3. WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SO WONDERFUL? John gets a deep meaningful existential crisis arc in both epilogues; both cases I easily latched onto and found a bit of myself in. I absolutely loved seeing him and Terezi interact as a duo of people with some perception of canonicity; I'll get back to that point soon enough. John's marriage to Roxy not working out is a testament to both his issues with canon and Roxy's issues dealing with harsh situations. Roxy latches onto John and their son as a huge carefree pushover and he doesn't like that at all. And that's actually cool with me because John x Terezi is better in every way, as the epilogues made me realize. If that wasn't enough, the end of Candy spoils our little hearts by having John reconcile with Roxy anyway and give hope for a better future. Though a part of me does want to see a true happy ending where John and Roxy date with their delightful dynamic from their first interactions, I'm beyond pleased with the epilogues' handling of John either way. Swaying deep into some rather sad territory while remaining 100% faithful to his character that I've always loved so much.
Terezi Pyrope: FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES. Every scene with Terezi in the epilogues was so goddamn awesome. Her interactions with John were such a blast to read, with exactly the mix of humor and touching aspects that make both of the big John/girl ships what they are. How did the authors pull it off, making deeply emotional scenes without ever sacrificing that goofy Terezi flavor???
S-TIER
S in rating systems these days is way misused in my eyes. Normally A is meant to be the highest rating and S is used for the very rare absolutely exceptional case A doesn't do justice. But now you see shit like SS, SSS, SSSS everywhere like one S isn't the ultimate badge of honor? S is a rating I'd gladly give Detective Pony and may or may not give cool and new web comic. Same goes for my very favorite Futurama episodes. I'd give a few of Neil Cicierega's works that rating if I'm feeling up to it. In this post, I've reserved the S rating for:
Barack Obama: THE BEST PART OF THE EPILOGUES, HANDS DOWN. His conversation with Dave near the end of Candy is perfect in every way, it really transcends words. Humor, emotional touching, plot revelations, and straight up "Homestuck feel" are blended into the most delicious melting pot imaginable. When Dave confesses that he might be gay and explains troubles in his three-way romance, Obama responds with a truly inspiring speech about identity that raises an excellent point about the differences between the epilogues involving aspects of people that may seem immutable to some. I think Obama's speech leaves a powerful message I never expected Homestuck of all things to convey so well. I hope readers take that speech's message into account, though I know many will probably be a bit naive about it.
If you refuse to read the epilogues at all costs, then I implore you to read Dave and Obama's conversation anyway. You won't be disappointed.
CONCLUSION
epilogues good
that’s all there is to say on the matter
though if you don’t like them that’s also fine
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ao3feed-rosekan · 5 years ago
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Off The Handle
read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HCd2AU
by spaced_out1113
In Which The Shouty Troll Acts Strange For A Certain Period Of Time, Prompting The Human Rap Master and Knight of Time To Question Him And Feelings Ensue. Excessive and Ridiculous Pining Follows, Leading To More Talks and More Feelings
Or one of the many stories in which Dave and Karkat grow closer on the three-year meteor journey they and their companions take. This one in particular focuses on a reality where, as stated above, Karkat has been avoiding Dave for several days and Dave is determined to figure out why.
Words: 17095, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Homestuck
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Terezi Pyrope, Vriska Serket, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam (minor), Terezi Pyrope & Vriska Serket (minor), Dave Strider & Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde & Dave Strider
Additional Tags: Meteorstuck, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Mild Blood, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Light Angst, Minor Violence, only for one section, Friends to Lovers
read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2HCd2AU
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birriabirria · 3 years ago
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when bro hears about an heir being sent to earth and he has to take care of them, he’s expecting the worst. bro’s expecting a brat that demands that they wait on them hand and foot while making unreasonable demands. bro gets karkat. karkat’s angry and shouty and foulmouthed but he’s still not as horrible as bro imagined him to be. karkat mostly keeps to himself and demands to be left alone. he only asks for movies and trips around earth. bro’s surprised to find himself tolerating karkat
karkat meets dave, dirk and davide. he’s abrasive as always but he seemed to strike up some sort of friendship with them??? bro’s wary of karkat and he doesn’t karkat’s sort of friendship with his family but as long karkat isn’t hurting them then he can tolerate him for his and their sake
kankri finally comes to earth just to see karkat and the crockers greet him of course. bro spends a full hour in his presence and goes …this heir is worse than karkat. how is that even possible. kankri talks to karkat and the crockers breath a sigh of relief. karkat manages to keep kankri occupied for his whole stay and bro finds himself liking karkat! jfkkkfkfkfkf His Imperious Sufferance visits earth to see karkat and it’s the first visit in decades. everybody is panicking, everybody. the crockers, the harleys, the striders, the lalondes, the whole damn Court. the only thing going though their minds is: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. it’s going through karkat’s mind too! the Court manages to get themselves together and greet His Imperious Sufferance and everybody’s fucking nervous. karkat greets His Imperious Sufferance as well and he manages to keep His Imperious Sufferance’s attention the whole time. the whole Court sighs in relief. bro really starts to like karkat! bro, hearing about karkat: oh man this is gonna fucking suck bro, meeting karkat: he’s annoying but i can deal with it bro, meeting kankri: he’s really, truly, actually annoying bro, looking at kankri: …i miss karkat bro, hears about His Imperious Sufferance: oh shit oh shit oh shit i’m fucked we’re all fuck bro, meeting His Imperious Sufferance: don’t fucking panic bro, looking at His Imperious Sufferance: i fucking miss karkat right now! where is he?! bro, looking at karkat: holy shit he’s here, we’re fucking saved! bro, looking at karkat: bro, looking at karkat: he looks cute today
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rainscribe · 3 years ago
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RP Drabble: Letters to Derek
<blockquote><p><b>characters</b>: John Egbert (Jade’s universe, Homestuck), Various other characters<br><b>relationship</b>: John/Derek<br><b>words</b>: 7,491<br><b>location</b>: Monster-au-stuck<br><b>rating</b>: Mature<br><b>warnings</b>: mentions of <i>sexual content/desire</i>, some <i>violence</i> mentions, but not delved into, mentions of an <i>age-difference</i> relationship. rough draft, un-betad<br><b>summary</b>: John goes on a trip to find all the trolls (except 2), and figure out what the hell he’s doing with his life through writing letters to the person his life has centered on for the past months.&nbsp;</p></blockquote>[[MORE]]<blockquote><p><b>june 17</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> so. </p><p> jade said i should write you letters while you were gone and at first i &nbsp;thought that was really dumb? but then a part of me was like, fuck yeah! i’ve never written a letter before. there was no need to, right? yet i always wanted to! even in middle and high school i would try really hard to get pen pals because that was the only way i could write letters. </p><p> those never panned out. /:</p><p> anyway, so i guess i’m just going to tell you how my trips are going! </p><p> </p><p> first of all, i haven’t actually traveled out of state yet? i’m on a bus right now heading out, but jade and dave kind of thought i already left to go to far off places. so i told them! hah. (dave kissed me goodbye. it was terrible. you should kiss me when you get back so i remember what good kisses are like.) </p><p> i get distracted way too much. point is! i met some of the local trolls in this area. and a guy who kind of reminded me of you? but a looooooot younger and clearly has not gone through the same shit as you. and also a guy who was kind of shy but seemed cool. </p><p> then there was this DOUCHEBAG of a SLEEZE. like seriously he was hitting on me the whoooooollllle time i was at latula’s auto repair shop. she was really cool! she knew karkat, this really funny, shouty troll that’s basically married to ava (you didn’t hear this from me, though!) </p><p> wait. do you even know about trolls? like this is not the magical supernatural kind of troll. this is the alien kind of troll with candy corn horns and gray skin. eh, i’ll probably inform you about them before you even get this! if i give it to you. i probably should. the mail should always be delivered to its recipient! </p><p> alright but so there was the douchebag whose name was cronus and he had an unlit cigarette in his mouth? he’s so weird. and he has scars like harry potter but he is such a fraud. i could kick his ass. i would have too! but this guy named horuss (another troll! 0: ) stopped me. and latula. </p><p> there were like these three trolls around the area of the mechanic shop. </p><p> and you know how much of a douchebag cronus was? well, he did kind of introduce me to meenah and porrim who are pretty radical people in their own right! </p><p> he was like, ‘hey john, i bet you want to meet some a grade ladies.’ </p><p> i kind of rolled my eyes, and reminded him that i was taken! </p><p> he was just like, ‘that’s ok, that’s ok. these are trolls. i know how all about trolls you are.’ </p><p> then he takes me out. like to dinner. he literally did. but i couldn’t say no? because he <i>was</i> going to take me to meet some troll ladies. i made sure of that. also, the restaurant he took me to was high grade shit. i feasted that night. and maybe got a little tipsy off of some really bubbly champagne? it was so light, my tongue <i>danced</i>. damn. i really need to remember what it was called? because i want you to try it! </p><p> afterwards, his friends stumbled upon us, singing and laughing on the street towards their establishment. meenah was mad at me for some reason? i can’t remember but she still let me sleep on her couch. she’s very prickly towards me and then she stuffs my face full of pancakes. it’s hilarious. porrim is a bit more mature? but then she kicks everyone’s ass at mario kart. even latula! it was hilarious. </p><p> then she and latula
got in a cuddle pile while meenah and cronus hooted before getting kicked out. it was kind of awkward to stick around after that! so i grabbed this bus, and i’m taking it down to las vegas. B) </p><p> ill tell you all about it! im really more interested about the magic shows than the gambling, although, i’m curious to try my luck. o:</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>note: i wonder how good rose would be at gambling? </p><p>note 2: the champagne was called ca’del bosco cuvee prestige brut, franciacorta for future reference! </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 19</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> heh i almost wrote deer. deer derek. that would be the exact opposite of what you are. so cute i’d eat you all up. and out. in a sexual innuendo-y way? </p><p> damn. vegas is... not the best place to go alone? it basically throws it in your face that you’re a loser and alone. there’s strippers in pretty much every gambling house, and it’s like yeah ok that’s nice and all, but my boyfriend is so much hotter and i’d rather see him stripping? not that i stayed and watched. it was... awkward. uh. yeah... </p><p> the magic shows were really cool, though! although... most of them weren’t reeealyl magic. but that’s the cool thing! theyre pretendin g to be magicians through sligth of hand and like foolin everyone. it’s ridicuoulously funny! i hahaha m laughi n too much. everything is hilarioius. hilarious. hiclarious. </p><p> shit im too durnk to finsh this. looooovvev you</p><p> wow that was embarrassing. i actually fell asleep on this letter. i’m so glad i’m not handing this over. this is amazingly embarrassing. las vegas is cool but bring a friend. moral of the story. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 21</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i met kanaya. </p><p> i feel like that should be a sentence in and of itself. its importance is there on the table for you to take it up, or just let it stay. </p><p> in this case you’re going to pick it up because kanaya? is so amazing. like you’re amazing, but then kanaya is Amazing. she uses a fucking <i>chainsaw</i> to do like tree designs? she is a lumberjack in disguise as the classiest sith in existence? i feel like rose would have fun trying to figure out how <i>that</i> happened. </p><p> speaking of rose she’s the one who told me to go meet her? as a favor for jade who knew karkat who is a worry wart. literal worry wart. he is a wart. </p><p> but kanaya fed me and made me tea and was very nice in general even when i trolled her and she had nooooo clue! i pranked her.</p><p> i know it was wrong. it’s bad manners to prank someone in their own house! but she was asking for it, derek! she was so... so... like okay she is sassy. the SASSIEST. but then she like stands so upright and makes you feel like you’re wearing a potato sack. which i would look amazing in. kanaya is just jealous that i can make a potato sack look good! &gt;:) </p><p> i just HAD to prank her. and when the bucket landed on her head... she blushed SO HARD. i took a picture. i sent it to karkat. his reaction was JUST AS HILARIOUS. like look at this shit:</p><p> Karkat: JOHN. I’M GOING TO POLITELY ASK YOU TO FUCKING BLOCK ME FROM YOUR PHONE. FOREVER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. </p><p> he actually blocked me! i can’t believe it!! rude!!! </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 23</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i’m in texas!! </p><p> i feel like i had to write you a special letter from this special state that you were in for like... twenty years? nineteen? i’m not even sure how long you were here for. </p><p> anyway, so karkat finally unblocked me. long enough to school me in why it was rude to send bucket pictures of someone he regards as a friend (and maybe more?? he didn’t make it very clear.) to him. i guess it threw him in such a good yelling spree that ava says i’m banned from their house. :( </p><p> i’m waiting at the airport right now. my flight should be here in a bit. i’m going to florida because that’s where the zombie apocalypse is going to start and i need to know the layout of the land, but
it’s kind of boring here.</p><p> annnnd i may be in a grumpy mood because all of these people meeting and hugging is making me irritated. maybe it’s because i know i probably won’t get a similar greeting from you? that’s gross, i know. ew, john, pda. besides, jade and dave will greet me. </p><p> maybe i’ll kiss dave. show him how a kiss should really be!</p><p> not in front of willow, though. the poor child. we must protect her from the pda.</p><p> my flight isn’t for another hour, and i’m so bored. i don’t even have anything interesting to write about except that i’m in texas. maybe i’ll draw you something? </p><p> [insert badly drawn art of a wolf]</p><p> hahaha that fucking sucks. sweet bro and hella woof. </p><p> [new drawing of sweet bro on a hella jeff wolf]</p><p> look at this fucking amazing drawing. it should be in l’ouvre. right? right? </p><p> ... </p><p> what... </p><p> the fuck... </p><p> WHAT THE FUCK, DEREK. HOW DID DAVE’S SHITTY WEBCOMIC TURN INTO A MOVIE. I WAS JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THIS, AND I LOOK UP AND THERE’S SHITTY JPEG PIXELATION OF SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF ON A BILLBOARD. </p><p> how did his webcomic make it to this world??? IS YOUR LIL BRO RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SHIT?? what the hell. what has come over the world that they would pay twenty bucks to see his webcomic come to life. holy shit. </p><p> oh. well... that was an interesting way of wasting an hour. i’ll talk to you later.</p><p>love you, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 24</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE AND AMAZING ALL AT ONCE. </p><p> seriously, though? fuck florida. i’m pretty sure everyone i met is secretly a crocodile. especially this toothy detective i stumbled upon. quite literally. </p><p> i was just minding my own business being a tourist and she comes over like you just committed a crime! and i said what? because i’m pretty sure i wasn’t even JAYWALKING. </p><p> and she said that she was pretty sure loitering around like a bumbling dunce was a crime in her jurisdiction and i said well if that’s the case then you should arrest yourself! (ooooooo!)</p><p> she laughed. swallowed her donut. (whole! the whole fucking thing. i am not even lying. you can see it in action yourself!) then went to her police car, which was actually being driven by someone else. she’s blind, you see! which makes no sense on how she would know i was loitering!</p><p> here i was hoping florida would be nice. :( but i guess it’s true. all floridians are secretly crocodiles. </p><p>love, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 25</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> terezi pyrope is terrible. utterly. terrible. </p><p> you know what the first thing she said to me was? like after the whole loitering business in the previous letter. she said, “ew, smells like dog.” and then she pinched her nose. </p><p> like seriously? how rude! i mean, at that point she kind of knew i was a werewolf. </p><p> see. she, well, she... alright! she fucking caught me naked, and was like that’s illegal and profane, get in the car. cause i guess she’s a cop detective. whatever. see what happened was... i didn’t have a hotel to sleep in? and i was like no big deal! i can live in the great outdoors in fucking florida and be fine! that was SUCH a stupid idea, derek, you have NO idea. first off, let me repeat myself. FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE. there’s CROCODILES, and SNAKES, and all sorts of evil things. why i thought it would fun sleeping outside instead of in a hotel, i don’t know, but i won’t make THAT mistake again. </p><p> and you know what i did that was even worse than that? i shifted. i took off my clothes and shifted. when i woke up in the morning, i was butt naked and terezi fucking pyrope had my clothes held hostage. she was in jogging clothes then so i guess she was taking a morning hike in the park, and she spied me. then she waited until i woke up, and made the comment about how i smelled like dog, and that i was violating public decency laws!!! </p><p> she almost threw me in jail. :( </p><p> your boyfriend is a criminal, i am so sorry,
derek. </p><p> but i got her back! for the smell comment, i mean. </p><p> i was like well you smell like a bug so that must mean you’re a troll! </p><p> she laughed, and took me to out to eat after giving me back my clothes. i got her up to date on what happened with karkat, and she asked about the guy whose glamour i had? i couldn’t really tell her much about that, though. just that karkat gave it to me, and that had her frowning. like she was concerned or something. beats me!</p><p> she made some unnecessary rude faces at me, too. but i eventually convinced her to move to seattle because i’m awesome. and she told me that there was a troll up in canada that i should find? (i’m on a plane heading up there now!) she chuckled evilly, so i’m not sure if i trust her or what. </p><p> also i’m actually not sure what bugs smell like? but that’s what trolls smell like. why does your universe have so many bug humanoids? even my alt is part bug. which is kind of weird! because i can’t imagine myself being a fairy. although, the fact that he’s a lightning bug is pretty cool. they’re charming bugs. if i had to pick a bug, i’d pick that. but it’s still weird!</p><p> and i kind of wonder what dave’s bro was like in my universe! if i would have liked him like i love you. but from what dave has said, he kind of sounds like a total dick, and in the worst of ways, despite the way dave tries to make it SOUND positive. like i understand that he doesn’t want his guardian to sound terrible, and wants to treasure the memory, but he kind of is terrible! and abusive. and manipulative. (i don’t think i could love that kind of person.)</p><p> but your dave said that he was getting some memories from my dave, so i wonder if you’re getting memories from his bro? i hope not. you’re supposed to be going through therapy to help you with your control. not needing more therapy to help sort out any fucked up memories that might have you confusing your own experiences. especially with dave. because i know that argument really had you questioning how you treated him! but i trust that you aren’t as bad as his bro. i <i>know</i> you’re not. </p><p> honestly, though, sometimes i wonder why my dad lived while Rose, Jade, and Dave all lost their guardians and had to go through some sort of social services. like! i know i was adopted, too, but it happened when i was really young so i barely remember anything. when rose’s mom died, rose lived by herself, and actually did well maintaining the lie that her mom hadn’t died really well until she came to school drunk once. </p><p> they found out everything then, and forced her to stay in social services until they found a good family (impossible when she was fifteen and no one wanted to adopt a kid that old), or until she was eighteen, and they couldn’t keep her. </p><p> then you have dave who went through a couple of terrible people, and decided, fuck it, and escaped. of course, he ended up in a gang. </p><p> jade said she ended up getting emancipated from the system. but that was after going through a couple of people, and being able to live off her inheritance. </p><p> huh, rose received an inheritance, too. i wonder why dave didn’t? </p><p> anyway. this letter has gotten kind of long and rambly, so i guess i’m going to cut it off here. the plane is landing soon in new york too. after that i will be in the country of the ‘eh!’ also, maple syrup. i should buy some and mail it to the house! yeah! </p><p> we’ll make pancakes when we’re both home! see you later!</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 28</b></p><p>dear derek, </p></blockquote><p> man! new york is so cool! i went and saw the statue of liberty, and went up in the empire state building. it’s <i>amazing</i>! i was so high up!! i wish i could fly. it would be sooo cool. why aren’t there any <i>flying</i> werewolves? </p><p> even dave can fucking levitate, but you don’t see him doing it that often! it’s a waste of being able to levitate! :( </p><p> but!! i did see a magic show, and people did some moves through the air. they were attached to a
cord, i think?? (unless they were supernatural! O: ) and yeah they did some neat things. i want to do neat things like that. like fake flying. fake magic. i wouldn’t mind any of it at all. although <i>real</i> flying would be better than fake flying. </p><p> oh, and there were a couple of other places i stopped by?? i actually decided to take a bus from new york to canada because i wanted to see niagra falls! it was being advertised as one of the biggest falls in the u.s.? even though it’s really not that big. they’re just long! but it was really cool. i even got to go behind the falls and got a rinky dink yellow rain jacket for my time. </p><p> there were a lot of people getting married there, too. or proposing. i guess it’s a really attractive place to proclaim your love to someone? huge ass waterfalls in the background and a diamond ring to tell you i will love you for as long as the waterfalls remain. </p><p> i wonder what would happen if the falls collapsed. would their love vanish? would their hearts break? this is why you can’t rely on physical things for love. not even the stars last forever. jupiter might, though. didn’t shakespeare do a sonnet about love? do i compare thee to a evening something or other. shakespeare died but his sonnets (and plays) will last forever.</p><p> i don’t think i’ll be able to write something so powerfully gay to you, so i won’t. because i can’t write. i’ll leave that up to rose.</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. don’t ask rose a general question like, did shakespeare write sonnets because she will chew your head off and read all of his sonnets to you.</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>june 30</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i don’t... </p><p> canada... </p><p> ... </p><p> i... words are escaping me. </p><p> like tavros. TAVROS. is just as bad as terezi. he is terribad. but in this nerdy way that drives me up the wall. no wonder terezi was smiling evilly!! between her and tavros i’m at my wits end with these trolls!!! </p><p> at least terezi was willing to move to washington. tavros was like ...hahaha... that sounds interesting but if you’re gathering up all the trolls, then i think not. and he goes back to playing the troll equivalent of poKEMON!!! </p><p> and when i said that humans came up with pokemon first, he was all, trolls have been around longer than you have, so i’m pretty sure we came up with it first. </p><p> i just can’t believe him!</p><p> i’m so fucking glad i’m leaving canada!! </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 2</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i stopped by... well. your house as i was passing through on my way to hawaii! well technically, i’m on my way to japan. but i’m going to hawaii first! it’s going to be awesome! </p><p> but i saw jade, dave, and willow on my way through, and it looks like they’re all doing fine! willow already has a tooth cut through and she’s looking really adorable. she has a lot more hair now. and her eyes have set on taking after dave’s. it’s about time some features of his started showing through. the harleybert genes are strong. B) </p><p> i missed being there surprisingly! your bed still smelled like you. it is pretty big. hard to get all of your manly smell out of it no matter how hard i rolled around in it and tried to cover it up with <i>my</i> manly smells. :) </p><p> it was actually difficult to leave! for like a day. then rose was like, john you must be in japan at this certain spot when the aligns to meet the next trolls, and i was like ok, cool! japan seems awesome. this seemed important! </p><p> see, what i’ve kind of been doing with this trip is getting an idea of where all the trolls are at. they don’t necessarily have to move to washington (and if they do decide to do that, we’re having them live with mom!), but we’d kind of like to know a more specific location on where they’re all at. and maybe get updated contact information, lol. </p><p> i think rose is even creating a group facebook so we can all keep in contact! which is a pretty fucking good idea. oh, and jim john is also working on it, too. so is
the other rose? they’re all very good at the whole predict-y thing. i don’t even know sometimes. they just tell me where to go, and i go. that’s all. </p><p> not too much excitement going on right now, though! so i’ll talk to you later. after hawaii B)</p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. i’ll make sure i take a hot picture for you! B) </p><hr><blockquote><p>[Postcard with the Hawaiian islands on the side. Attached with a paperclip is a picture of john in regular clothes by a volcano. fireworks are going off in the background.]</p><p><b>july 4</b></p><p>derek! </p></blockquote><p>hawaii is fantastic! wish you were here! i hope you enjoy the super hot pic! xoxoxo</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 9</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey! i’m in japan right now! i am extremely sadden that there’s no anime japan. i was seriously thinking i’d see totoro here!! i’m so disappointed. </p><p> heh, just kidding. but japan sure is different than what i expected. i dunno. i guess it’s just the language barrier that got to me? that oh i really am out of my country feel. it’s a good thing we didn’t go here first, or you would have worst off. cars are backwards AND a different language you can barely understand? it would have been bad, pfff. </p><p> it’s still really amazing, though! i went to tokyo tower, and saw some of the sights. i ate ramen in a ramen booth and felt like naruto for a minute. that’s where i met rufioh! he’s a pretty chill dude. doesn’t seem to have much backbone, but i liked him. and damara! i liked her, too. she seemed pretty nice despite the illegal amounts of weed she smoked. is weed illegal in japan? </p><p> i don’t know. but yeah she DEFINITELY did not want to come back. when i even suggested it, she gave me the vilest look, and if it weren’t for rufioh, she’d have... well. done really bad things to me! </p><p> there was a summer festival going on, and i didn’t have a kimono, but i got to join in. damara looked really pretty in a kimono! she took it off shortly after it started and i think some people were kind of scandalized. not because she was naked, but i guess you’re supposed to look kind of nice for these festivals? and she was definitely wearing a very short school girl outfit with her midriff showing. she seemed pretty happy, though. i kind of feel really sympathetic towards her? for some reason? </p><p> anyway, they let me stay for a little while, and showed me some of the other neat things about tokyo. it was nice. i liked learning about the tokyo you don’t often see about in anime. i feel like you would enjoy japan if you became more comfortable with traveling? i even bought you a shitty samurai sword, and shipped it back home. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><p>p.s. don’t tell my dad, but i tried the weed.</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 12</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey! i’m going to be doing a lot of traveling between here (tibet) to maybe europe? yeah. there’s just a lot of take-offs and landings that’ll be happening and shit gets boring, y’know? i have a long flight from here to california, though, so i’m hunkering in for a nice little ride. </p><p> i hadn’t even considered that i could have been asking for first class tickets. sometimes it startles me that jade has SO much money that we could just... not even pay attention to what we’re buying and just buy a fuckton of stuff that’s like hundreds of thousands of dollars, or more! we could buy a fucking island and we wouldn’t even notice that it took a nice skim off the bulk of her money. </p><p> one thing jade told me was that even for as much money they have, we’re still accumulating money, too? from the investments and stocks that were purchased, too. like her grandpa had a really good mind to money! </p><p> also i think she’s taking an interest in checking on what companies we have stocks in, and seeing what we can do to change those companies for the better. she’s always thinking about the future and about what can be done better. it’s amazing. sometimes i wish i had about a sixth of the motivation she has. i haven’t really felt
like there was anything for me to do. i feel like i’ve been so GROUNDED that i don’t have any room to go forward or that there was anything i wanted to do. </p><p> i guess... i feel like i’m stagnating. i’m not flowing or moving or learning or... growing? as a person. as a werewolf? i’m just growing duller and more inactive everyday and it’s driving me up the wall! </p><p> it’s funny because i have been traveling, but the more i’ve been traveling, the more i feel like i’m not getting anywhere. </p><p> ... </p><p> i saw kankri yesterday? i guess he’s related to karkat in some way, but i don’t know. he’s definitely not how i pictured a relative of karkat’s acting? other than the never shutting up part. </p><p> he turned down the whole move to washington thing, but told me that i should go to niger. so that’s where i’m going now. </p><p> i’m tired. </p><p>goodnight,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 18</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> hey. </p><p> sorry i haven’t been writing. like i said... there were a lot of planes to change, and i mostly slept on my flights. i saw terezi again for a little while. crashed on her couch between a flight from california and a flight to morocco. she said she hoped i liked nepeta and that she’d chew my head off, hopefully. </p><p> she was packing up, too, and showed me some younger pictures of glamoured, and unglamoured karkat. it was cute. </p><p> i sent the pictures to ava who was more than happy to receive them, but karkat banned me from the house, so i’ve officially been banned by both members of that household. i feel sort of accomplished with that. </p><p> after terezi’s, i went to morocco, which is absolutely gorgeous. the architecture and colors are divine. the market is really fun. i haggled with a couple of vendors, and manage to get some souvenirs shipped back, too. i make really good investments!</p><p> nepeta was as cute and dangerous as terezi deemed her to be. she’s a werelion? but she only shifts when leo is in the sky. she can’t shift during any other time frame. she had fun hunting me down. i thought i was being fucking stalked by a literal lion, not a fake shifter lion (don’t tell her i said that, she’ll chew my head off). you’ll get to meet her. she said she was interested, and after i gave her some money for an airplane, she decided to head that way. </p><p> then i went to egypt. i saw the pyramids, and didn’t get too taken advantage of. (who am i kidding. they took complete advantage. i can’t hide the fact that i’m an american tourist no matter how dark my skin is. i honestly don’t even mind that much, although i’m pretty sure they thought i was as dull as a rock.) they really like tea in egypt, too? which is kind of surprising, but it shouldn’t be. like basically anything non-western is all over tea, and westerners are all over coffee. pretty funny, considering how tea is supposed to be better for you anyway. </p><p> egypt is hooooooooot, too. not hot like texas hot which is also kind of a wet and humid hot that makes you feel like you’re suffocating, but a heat that’s just really hot. which... is really weird to say. it doesn’t make you sticky, just sweat a lot. i can kind of understand why they wear a lot of clothes now! the clothes contain the coolness of your body in the heat, and also keep the sun off you. which is really good! but i didn’t stay in egypt for too long. i went to greece next, because nepeta asked me to check in on someone very impurrtant to her. </p><p> he worked at a museum in greece which, yknow, showcased the greek statues and shit. at first, he didn’t seem all that interested, especially when i didn’t show proper respect to the relics of the ancient world. (which is funny because under his breath he’d mutter about how even what we considered to be great achievements for humans, they had very little on alternian achievements, especially in the fine arts.) yet, the moment i mentioned nepeta’s name he fucking clams up, and is like oh great master egbert what can i do for you? if only you’ll tell me where she’s at. </p><p> so i told
him she was in washington, and i saw him run off to his work office to put in his two weeks, or tell them he was quitting or something. i don’t know. i kind of didn’t care at that point? i was just glad that it was taken care of. </p><p> so that’s what i was up to until now, basically. it’s all been rather boring despite the sites. i’ve taken to couch hopping, and whenever someone tells me i should go somewhere, i just go? because what else am i going to do? </p><p> i haven’t really heard anything from home, so i guess this will work for now. </p><p> there’s a beer festival or something happening in germany tomorrow. i’m in austria right now, but i think i’ll stop by and see if anything catches my interest. </p><p>love,</p><p>john </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 20</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> heheheeeee i’mmmmm drunk agian. i met thsi girl trlol named vriask and we haad a fight! but with abeet bert. beer. tryin ta out do each other ykonw? </p><p> and now i’m crasshed at her uh </p><p> place? </p><p> car? </p><p> i dunno what it is. too big ta be a car??? i’m so confusde. anway dont matter. what mATTERS is the iMPORTANT things in lief. and how much i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vv vv ve ya. is that enogh v? i think so. </p><p> viraks was tellin me abutt how she lovd the tavroos guy. idk why he sucKS but like shhe did? idk toot drunk to make out waht shes talkin’ about but it was funny. i think? i think everything is funny right now. </p><p> except how fukcing turned on i am and how ur not here. i mayb cry bc your not here to help my bonr. but not really. just cry cause im lonely which is wierd. casue brskira is here yknow? </p><p> id kiss you allllllllll over and jsut touch. idonteven want ta get off. nah thats a lie i toets do.hahaha vriska just belched gdo shes hialarioous. </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 28, 4pm</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> it feels weird not writing to you for so long! i’ve kind of been busy. and vriska won’t let me write to you when i’m drunk! (thank goodness, to be honest.) </p><p> i thought i was going to be so bored in europe, but i’m like the exact opposite! it’s great. and a lot of that has to do with vriska.</p><p> she has all these irons in the fire, and she asks for my input too, but i’ve kind of been traveling with her. she’s been helping me out a lot, too! she said i looked utterly pitiable and that i should be lucky that she’s going out of her way to help me. </p><p> i know that sounds kind of mean, but vriska has such a personality that it’s hard for her to be nice to anyone if it doesn’t look like she’s gaining something out of it. it’s funny how hard she tries to make it look like she doesn’t care. </p><p> we’ve been to so many places, derek, it’s hard to believe. europe is pretty. it’s done a lot of recovery since world war ii but you can see where it’s still affected some areas. we mostly avoided those areas. vriska said they were lame. </p><p> so! we went and visited a lot of neat places. mostly breweries. vriska really likes beer for some reason? even in italy she just wanted to go to the wine houses! which was fine because while she was at the wine houses, i went to venice. i <i>really</i> wish you could see venice some day. it’s beautiful. there’s canals everywhere, and statues of different beings. </p><p> i would have thought with it being such a magical looking place, there would be a lot of supes there? but it felt... static... of any magic. there was nothing really supernatural about it. i guess that’s because when people go there, they’re ready to believe anything. even if it doesn’t fit in with their world. </p><p> we watched a bunch of wrestlers in rome. vriska gambled on a bunch of different teams, and won us a lot of loot. she didn’t seem happy when she learned that i was only bumming it around because i was bored, and not that i was actually broke. she got mad? like the money she made wasn’t important i guess. but i told her any money was good money, and that it technically wasn’t my money, and she got over it. she’s a prideful troll! </p><p> oddly
enough, she’s been helping me with the whole stagnated feeling, though? keeping her in check is a lot more interesting! but i get the feeling that i’m just passing on the whole complete focus thing from you to someone else. (not like <i>that</i>, though. i don’t find vriska attractive in those regards!)</p><p> but like in paris, we went shopping, and we splurged a little (sorry, jade!), then i went and did a little magic show to these kids outside with vriska and it was just?? really great?! i missed doing slight of hand. i made so many kids smile, even adults! it was unreal. </p><p> then we went out and got some balloons and just aired up hundreds of them with helium before letting them go.</p><p> i think france kind of hates us, now! they didn’t really like what we did. afterwards, we went out into the country where they were doing an air ballon show, and we actually got to ride in them! it was really great. </p><p> right now, we’re heading to spain. she says she wants to take some pictures of bulls for tavros, and i’m pretty sure i understand where she’s going with <i>that</i>. (tavros has bull horns.)</p><p> it’s pretty mean, but he’s also a douche so i can’t help wanting to do it, too. i think vriska was more than a douche to tavros, though, so i’ll let her take the pics, then delete the images when she gets drunk off her victory later. </p><p> rose called and told me i need to go to england soon! so i’ll probably do that, but when i told vriska that, she made a face. she has absolutely no interest in leaving the continental europe, so i don’t know if i’ll see her in washington or not!</p><p> i hope so. i really like hanging out with her. there’s only a few more trolls to get information from, though, so i’ll hopefully be home soon! i miss you, and i can’t wait to see you when i get back. although, i’m thinking i’m going to have to find more to do than just... </p><p> did i ever tell you why i started traveling? </p><p> shit! can’t tell you right now. tell you later. </p><hr><blockquote><p><b>july 28, 11pm</b></p></blockquote><p> sorry about that! our ride was about to leave, and we just got to our dinky hotel room. it’s so small! there’s two single sized beds, and like barely a closet of a bathroom. vriska chooses the <i>worst</i> places to stay. i think she either goes to the richest, most luxurious place she can find, or the scummiest. there is no in-between with her. but! we’re really close to the bull ring, and that’s a bonus.</p><p> anyway, so. why i even did this thing. hell, you might learn before i even hand this wad of papers over. (still debating on that! especially the drunk ones. man, i don’t know if i was just lonely, or if i wanted to write some thirteen year olds smut fantasy... but... yeah. if i were writing smut, i’d probably mention something about your <i>rippling</i> abs. c; ) </p><p> wow. i really don’t want to tell you this. </p><p> so i’m going to do it, anyway. </p><p> what happened, was that in my boredom, i found out some rumors that this one house outside the city was haunted, and so i decided to go to see if i could find anything. with jade. honestly, i’m starting to feel really bad about this because it was the night dave proposed and everything. like they had <i>sex</i> in the <i>living room</i>. with fancy cushions and marshmallow creme... i... don’t even want to know where they put the creme at holy shit. (we should do that...) </p><p> so jade and i went out to investigate the haunted house and some kids were there, too. i think they were about fifteen or sixteen? maybe older, and well. when the paranormal stuff <i>really</i> started happening, i.. tried to scare them out, so <i>i</i> could face the ghost. by myself. or with jade. i just wanted to do. </p><p> so the ghost got pissed off at <i>me</i>. because that was its job. not mine. and i ended up channeling some werewolf hunting instinct. jade had to cover for me, and thank goodness for the ghost because it stopped me from doing anything really bad. </p><p> i know, i know, you’re going to berate and get onto me, and shit. DAVE
already did that, though, so you’re covered. please don’t berate me. the age thing will just make it weird. i wish it wouldn’t, but that’s... really the worst thing about the differences in our age! sometimes it feels like you’re lecturing me like i’m a naughty child when... i’m supposed to be your partner. /: </p><p> i try not to let it get to me cause i know you don’t want it to come off this way! i can only hope the older i get the less weird it seems, but i don’t know if that’s going to be possible? i love you, either way, you massive nerd. </p><p> anyway, vriska is nagging at me, and saying that it’s time for bed so we can go and take... blackmail? pics tomorrow. i don’t know how it’s blackmail when the content has nothing to do with the person, but instead in degrading way? i think she has that wrong, but she’s getting in her i don’t care, mr. grammar. excuse you, it’s not mr. grammar, but ms. grammar, and that’s rose! d: </p><p>love, </p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>august 2</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> holy shit is vriska’s... relative... annoying. she’s like kankri, but at least some of what she has to say is informative? she kind of explained how the aliens got here, anyway. all like, our world was destroyed, and a massive amount of trolls had no where to go, our empire was dying, so our empress found this happy little earth planet, and decided to move in. </p><p> if you can’t tell, i’m writing this as she’s talking. she thinks i’m taking notes. sike! i’m writing to my boyfriend under the teacher’s nose. :P </p><p> it was actually interesting until she started talking about romance? i guess trolls have like four different kinds of romance. and i’m just like, oh yeah, that’s great. somehow it’s supposed to be better than ours, but i don’t really think it is. or maybe it’s just like people who want labels for everything? a better way to describe what it is you’re feeling? </p><p> i don’t think i’m very interested in labeling what i am. i love and am attracted to you, but i also find ladies lovely and attractive, so i guess that technically makes me bi, but i’d rather just be john, and not have a bunch of labels stuck to me. i guess i can understand how other’s find them useful. some people like taking all sorts of online quizzes to put themselves in these little boxes! </p><p> but i’d rather just go with the flow and be whoever i want to be instead of trying to pin it down to one thing! except if i were to ever be labeled as a wizard. i would OWN that. </p><p> dammit. i better pay attention and find a spot where i can escape at so that aranea doesn’t keep me here for a month. i’m going to scotland, then ireland! last stop is iceland. 8) </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p><hr><blockquote><p><b>august 6</b></p><p>dear derek,</p></blockquote><p> i think this will be my last letter! i’m on a plane heading home, thank goodness. i think vriska would have liked scotland and ireland more than me. i wonder why she was so anxious to not go with me the rest of the way? maybe she didn’t want to meet her relative? </p><p> yeah, i’m like 99% sure that was definitely the case. </p><p> hehehe i got in a brawl with a scottish dude at the pub, and afterwards we exchanged numbers and addresses when i told him that i had been writing letters during the trip. (he’s a werewolf <i>too</i>! it was SO cool. i wish i had gotten up to scotland sooner cause then we could have gone out on the full moon together, but he said it was probably for the best! he might have gotten too territorial to notice that i was a friendly werewolf. </p><p> ... i’m trying to pull thoughts together, but i’m really tired. hold on...</p><p> annnnd back. i just needed a nap. :) </p><p> so scotland was a ton of fun! as was ireland! i got on a bus tour kind of thing? and basically, wow. ireland is like those covers you see on older romance novels (i saw them at karkat’s house!) where it was historical and shit, and there are lovely irish lasses who are taken in by i... don’t know. guys. dudes. (dudes with <i>rippling</i> abs. (; ) just to note, karkat may
have read one of them out loud to me. i may not have been listening in the entirety. </p><p> then there was iceland, which was so relaxing. i went to one of the hot springs. i felt so clean and rejuvenated after that when i met nepeta’s relative, i wasn’t even weirded out by how she somehow managed to use her phone to gif at me as part of her sign language. i think i understood the hand motions better than what the gifs were supposed to represent? she asked about my love life, and was really bummed when i told her i was taken. and then she somehow was under the impression that i still needed other people? </p><p> that was when the whole four romance thing clicked, and i was like <i>shit</i>. she’s going to try and get me hooked up in the other romances. i managed to get her side tracked by asking about her favorite ships, and her tumblr, and yoinked a phone number. i think it’ll be easier communicating to her on tumblr, to be honest. </p><p> she and aranea didn’t seem all that interested in coming along, though, which is <i>fine by me</i>. the more those two plus kankri stay away, the happier everyone except maybe rose will be. </p><p> i’m really excited just to come home! i can’t wait to lay in bed, and just... sleep for a couple of days. maybe you’ll be there? i kind of hope not in a way, i think i need to sleep for forty-eight hours at home in order to feel ready to talk to you. i’m acting like something happened between us? but i guess nothing really did. maybe i’m just still bummed that you left without saying goodbye? although, i get why you did it. </p><p> either way, it’ll be good to be home, and i hope therapy is helping you out. </p><p>love,</p><p>john</p>
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sombytaco · 7 years ago
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Why DaveKat is Narratively Important
Let’s talk about DaveKat because I have nothing better to do!! So, whether or not you personally ship or agree with davekat, this is just going to be about how, from a narrative standpoint, it is 100% vital to both Dave’s and Karkat’s storylines and personal character arcs, let’s start with:
Knight Class- So, bit of class/aspect analysis because the fact they both Dave and Karkat are both Knights is absolutely VITAL to their character development and their connection to each other. Something Kanaya said, that classpects are not necessarily chosen to suit the strengths of each player but rather to challenge them in a way that is most beneficial to their personal growth? That is completely correct, Dave and Karkat being some of the best examples in the comic. The aspects are the elements which the game, and therefore the universe(s) are made of - literally. Like, these are the constructs out of which the world exists, the building blocks so to speak. However, they also represent more metaphorical concepts, Life=Optimism, Hope=Belief, Heart=Soul, so on and so forth etc. So paired with the Knight class, the active pairing of Maid class, we have to examine how exactly the aspect *applies*. Obviously, being active, the Knight class is self serving (more on active vs passive or knight vs maid specifically if y'all hmu with some asks I’d be happy to explain more in depth), there’s also a metric shitload of symbolism involved in the name. I’ve been reading this comic for almost five years and the sheer amount of symbolism never ceases to amaze me, but the absolutely loaded amount of metaphorical value behind this class has to be in my top 5. The classic “knight” iteration, sword and shield type of deal, is instrumental in the interpretation of how Dave and Karkat wield their abilities and grow as characters. The weapon is obviously the way in which they wield their aspects, but the shield is so much more interesting: it’s their PERSONA. Part of the blatant parallels between Dave and Karkat’s story arcs is how they allow others to perceive them in regard to their own internal struggles, they both put up a persona to protect themselves. For Dave it’s his “coolkid” facade, he doesn’t let others see his emotions, feelings, or motivations because he’s so wrapped up in this delusion of irony and toxic masculinity that he feels it would be a weakness to show himself for what he is, one that could very possibly (at the hands of Bro) get him severely injured at best, dead at worst if he fears for his life which is a distinct possibility. Karkat suffers in a similar way, his persona is this image of the overly aggressive, “shouty/angry” guy, he’s loud and obnoxious because he’s trying to keep people at arms length, similar to how Dave doesn’t let anyone in. Karkat also has similar motivations behind this persona, because of his blood color he knows he will be in immediate danger if people get too close, look to closely, care too much, so if he can shout and seem just as bloodthirsty and aggressive as other trolls, he can both keep them away and keep himself free of suspicion. So, they have their shields, their personas, this is how they protect themselves from the world. Let’s talk about their weapons.
Aspects- As I mentioned above, aspects are the literal elements that make up the world, but also have a more metaphorical meaning. In the same way that Heart=Soul, Dave’s aspect Time is not only literally representative of time, but metaphorically representative of PROGRESSION. Karkat’s aspect of blood is therefore, while literally blood (possibly a reference to his mutation), also more symbolically representative of UNITY. Now, let’s see how those apply to each players personal struggle, because remember that’s the key here, how their classpects tie in to their character arcs. Dave is troubled by his aspect at multiple points throughout the storyline, severely disturbed by dead Dave’s and essentially haunted by the multiple loops he has running, in what is a single day to his fellow beta players likely feels like *weeks* for him, he’s not progressing in the game, he’s running all these loops and doing so much and yet he’s not really going anywhere. He’s like a broken record, if you will. Dave doesn’t see himself as a hero, broken sword symbolism aside because I cannot get into that rn lmao that’s way too loaded and this is long enough, Dave *can’t* see himself as a hero because in his mind, Bro was a hero, and he will never live up to it, so why bother. Easier to just run his loops and do whatever Terezi says because she’s probably right and anyways it’s just easier to do something menial and meaningless that doesn’t move anything forward because he would probably fuck it up anyways, right? Dave is so stuck in the past, haunted by his loops, haunted by the legacy of his Bro, haunted by dead Daves, he is terrified (whether consciously or subconsciously) of moving forward, of Progression. Alternatively, Karkat’s aspect of Blood, or UNITY trips him up in similar ways. Karkat’s relationships are…complicated. It’s been *headcanoned* that he comes across as pale towards most of his friends, because despite how hard he tries to act loud and aggressive, he’s a big softie who cares way too goddamn much about everything. Terezi also represents his biggest struggle with Unity and relationships, he “wanted her in every quadrant like a desperate fool”, and she played along for a while to see if he would settle in any one quadrant, but when he never did she moved on. This is a huge blow to Karkat’s self-esteem, he thought he was being so suave and smooth just like his romance novels and movies, but really he was pushing her away either knowingly or unknowingly. On the topic of his romance novels, his obsession with relationships also shows him trying to compensate (more on this in a sec) for his lack of capability in the area, as if he’s studying them to get a better understanding of how relationships should work because he really has no idea. In his very first conversation with Sollux that we see, he ends by affirming that he hasn’t gone too far right? They’re still friends? Because underneath his loud, obnoxious persona, he’s just acting the way he thinks he’s supposed to in this hyper-aggressive society. Sound familiar? It’s because Dave is doing the same thing. They’re both using their personas to survive, to appear the way they think they should to other people, because when it comes to their aspects, they’re fucking terrified and don’t have a clue as to what they’re really doing.
Storyline Parallels- So, I’ve seen a lot of good analysis of this and I doubt any of what I’m saying will be news to any of you, but I’m gonna put it in my own words as best I can bc this shit is imperative to understanding why DaveKat works so perfectly in the narrative. Dave is obviously working an uphill battle the entire story to overcome the hyper-masculinity (see also: toxic) that his Bro has ingrained in his psyche for 13 years. Not the least of which is some deeply rooted homophobia. Dave fronts constantly, accusing others of being gay, accusing *Karkat* of being gay pretty amusingly. Obviously he pokes at this in other people because he’s so insecure about it in himself, he struggles heavily with his sexuality the way so many pre-teens do, only he’s fighting against a decades worth of anti-gay propaganda basically so there’s no room for him to search within himself too deeply without feeling deeply uncomfortable because obviously that’s Wrong and Bad and that’s not how society works in his world. Similarly, Karkat struggles with the quadrants which is practically unheard of on Alternia. It’s such a clear parallel to human homophobia that like. I’m left speechless when I think about it honestly. Their struggles are so overwhelmingly similar and parallel to each other sometimes I just have to stop and appreciate it. But back on topic, his whole life, Karkat has grown up with this over idealized concept of romance, the quadrants, and he obviously knows something is wrong with himself from an early age. Karkat’s obsession with romance novels is no coincidence, he’s clearly always felt off when it comes to that and so he most likely reached out to these novels and movies to get a better grasp of the quadrants, consuming what was essentially romantic propaganda to overcompensate. The problem is, in studying these works, he latched onto the wrong thing which is so funny to me. He’s reading these trying to understand, to make himself fit into this system because that’s what society is like *cough* heteronormativity *cough* and yet he latched onto quadrant vacillation like it’s the holy fucking grail of romance. Like oh, okay, this is normal? Obviously people do this, as long as they switch within the bounds of the system it���s Okay™ and even romantic in some occasions. Only, this is fiction he’s reading and if you try to apply the logic of romance novels to real life…well, we all know what happened with Terezi. He was constantly pushing the boundaries of vacillation, he was red for her, he wanted to act black on occasion, he cares so much about everyone it’s impossible for him not to be pale, and we see him (though I doubt he realizes he’s doing it) trying to auspistice for her and Gamzee in the pre-retcon timeline by staging a sort of intervention. He “wanted her in every quadrant like a desperate fool” and I don’t understand how people put Karkat into the quadrant system!!! That line is so IMPORTANT, not even taking into account that we know his dancestor, who shared his blood mutation which may have had something to do with his irregularities, loved the Disciple “beyond the quadrants”. It’s. So. Obvious. Karkat is overcoming the stigma of wanting to love beyond the quadrants in the same way that Dave is struggling to overcome the loaded idea behind being Not Straight. They’re both overcoming these extremely similar prospects and it’s an absolutely stunning feat of narrative that as an English major it makes me fucking weak in the goddamn knees like Hussie is a lot of things but this? This is fucking genius. I’ve never seen two characters written together in such an in depth and parallel way before.
Opposites Attract- So we’ve talked about their similarities, let’s talk about their differences and how those differences are also actually poorly disguised similarities. Karkat is obviously a Loud Boy, thats his coping mechanism. He keeps people out and away by being loud and aggressive. Dave needs to cope for similar reasons, to protect himself he needs to keep people out and away but he does it in just the opposite way, he gets quiet. He doesn’t talk about his shit. Sure, he’ll go on the rambling metaphor when the occasion calls, but although he’s always talking he’s never really saying anything. Karkat is an almost compulsive over sharer, like, the boy (bless his heart) has zero filter. Dave will talk your ear off just as well, but I’ll be fuckin damned if he says anything worthwhile outright (his many, many Freudian slips aside). It’s also interesting to note that while I’ve seen people talk about how part of the reason Karkat doesn’t fit into Alternian society is that he’s so human, as its stated in the narrative that after seeing this soft species, that shares his blood color and stupid, stupid compassion, even *Vriska* admits that Karkat seems to fit in better with them than he ever did with trolls, we don’t see the same for Dave? I’ve rarely, if ever, seen the situation flipped, in that Dave was more suited for Alternian society the same way Karkat was more human than troll or at least had severely human aspects. Obviously Dave’s romance is still very human in that he’s a big ol’ fan of monogamy (he and Karkat both faced problems in their relationships with Terezi romantically when she became involved in other quadrants, these boys love monogamy I’ll fight), but his upbringing? Yikes. Lusii are supposed to, while still protecting their trolls, prepare them for the harsh and violent world. Whether they had to kill other trolls and Lusii to feed them, or learn how to fight to fend off other trolls on their own, there was a shit ton of fighting in their pre-pubescent years. Trolls are a hyper aggressive, violent species that learn to fight basically as soon as they can walk, which is exactly what Bro did to Dave. Dave could fight practically from the second he crawled off the meteor, I doubt a day went by without a sword in his hand for some reason and god knows he suffered through enough strifes. Both boys were brought up just thoroughly *wrong* for their societies in a way that ensured they would never feel like they truly fit in.
Finally, Romance- In the final culmination of all this, let’s actually talk about how they work together as a couple. So, they have this overwhelmingly similar upbringing and life experience, what happens when they finally meet up? Dave thinks it’s hilarious that Karkat is always yelling, “get a load of this guy I was telling you about, Rose”, and while I have no doubt he thought Karkat’s shitfits were the funniest thing since Colonel Sassacre, there had to be a part of him that was just in awe of how someone could be so free with their emotions. Like, he’s angry? And you know it the second he walks into a room?? This is an entirely new concept to Dave, my son, who grew up with an insanely passive-aggressive psychopath who would sneak up on him and fight him with a crazy fucking puppet like what the fuck?? Dave has always had to be on edge at home, Bro was quiet so you never knew when he was upset and you never knew when he was coming for you. With Karkat, that’s such a non-issue it’s like the issue dined and dashed, no bill and no tip, vanished into the wind. You can hear Karkat stomping down the hall five minutes before he even gets into the room, and once he gets there oh boy he will Let You Know What The Problem Is. Why is Dave always provoking Karkat? Literally just to hear him yell because it’s so goddamn refreshing to know exactly with 100% certainty what someone is thinking, no irony, no bullshit, just genuine fucking refreshing annoyance. And for Karkat, well here’s the guy he’s always wanted to be, right? Cool and suave, the romcom hero who could smooth talk the paint off a wall. Only, Dave isn’t actually cool in the way he pretends to be, he’s not this smooth suave hero, he’s not even just a hero. He can’t be. He’s just…a kid. A kid like Karkat who has issues like Karkat and talks just as much when he’s nervous as Karkat and he’s relatable even though he’s trying not to be. He’s trying so hard to be what society wants from him he wants to be the tough guy with the sword but he’s just so not and that’s so refreshing! Karkat realizes he’s not the only one who’s trying to live up to some buttfuck impossiblestandards and he realizes…that’s okay. He doesn’t have to be anything he’s not. And they figure that out together.
So pardon me if I don’t understand how you can put Dave with John, or Jade, because they don’t fit. The narrative literally doesn’t benefit in any way for them to fit, and if it’s your personal preference then by all means go for it who am I to stop you, but there is no benefit to them being together. They will not grow from it, John is explicitly someone who doesn’t seem to focus or care much about romance even? And Jade has no concept of anything Dave has gone through, she couldn’t even begin to understand. Same with Terezi and Karkat, or Gamzee and Karkat or John and Karkat or whatever, Terezi likes quadrants. They make sense to her and she enjoys them, Karkat cannot bring himself to deal with with that and they’re so much happier as just friends. I’m not even getting into Gamzee, I’m not even gonna dip my toe into that discourse because everyone likes different characters for different reasons and I won’t begrudge you of that so I’m just gonna stay away. So again, if you ship those then that’s fine! Go for it! This is just an analysis of why the narrative, in my personal perspective, supports DaveKat and why I personally think they are good and healthy for each other and help each other grow as people.
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