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xbunnybunz · 3 years ago

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Stride of Luck (7/?) [Dave Strider X Reader X Bro Strider]

Summary:

You find an unconscious Dave Strider in a desolate street and allow him to crash at your place, only to find out that he's come all the way from Texas to find his bro, Dirk Strider.

What seems like an easy task soon evolves into something much more complicated when you finally locate Dirk, and realize three things. One, Dave is hot as fuck. Two, Dirk is also hot as fuck. Three, they have the same taste in girls.

“i warned you about the striders, bro. i told you dog!”

Genre: Romance, Humor, Angst, Slow Burn

Author's Note: moving some stuff over from AO3 to here so my readers feel more comfy interacting with me directly <3

When you get back to your apartment, you kick open the door action-movie style and flop onto the couch face down, not really caring that Dave scrambles off it like a disgruntled cat to accommodate your faceplanting.

“Woah. Who hit you with a truck?”

You grunt and drop the grocery bags on the floor, bringing your hands up to cover your face.

“Shit. Do I look like I got hit by a truck?”

“Um. No?”

The way Dave says that sounds like he’s trying really hard to hold back the truth, but you appreciate his shitty attempt to make you feel better anyways.

“You kind of always look like this.”

…Appreciated it while it lasted.

“Your apple juice.” You speak into the cushions and point at the bags without raising your head. “And your cursed puppet Applejacks.”

“Dope.”

You hear Dave pawing through the goods beside you, seeking out his sacred fruity beverage and “healthy” sugary midnight snack. You allow your mind to wander back to the memory of a tall and rippling Dirk and sigh.

Why’d you always have to act like such a buffoon whenever you found anyone attractive? It seemed like all you were good at doing was making yourself the butt of jokes. But…

You felt your face tickle with warmth recalling his hearty laughter, replaying itself like a song stuck inside your head.

You supposed a little bit of a scatterbrain was a good thing, sometimes. It helped you get into good graces with Dirk, hadn’t it? He had even told you to come see him at work, that had to count for something. You were basically engaged now, with three children and a mediocre house you’d never be able to repay the mortgage on until you were wrinkly and sixty!

Fuck. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fantasy thought? How did debt sneak into here?

You take another deep inhale to steady your increasingly pounding mind, trying to banish the thoughts of living in a cardboard box under a bridge and return to hot-man wonderland.

Unfortunately, your deep breath was a little too deep, and you realize the couch kind of smells like ass, which makes sense, because that’s literally all it ever got until an idiot decided to faceplant into it.

“Ugh, gross.”

You turn your head and eyeball Dave, who was currently analyzing the back of the cereal box with a strange amount of concentration.

“Oh shit. I didn’t realize you cared about the nutritional facts so much. I’ll get you something healthier next time.”

Dave jerks his head up, his train of thought broken.

“Huh? Nutritional facts?” He shakes the cereal box once, then twice. “Nah. I don’t care about that crap. I was just trying to find out how to get Cinna-Mon to the caramel coaster without falling into Applejack’s sweetness-snare.”

He turns the box to you and points to what you assume is the “sweetness-snare,” given it was labelled “SWEETNESS SNARE” with thirty-point comic sans font for blind nine-year olds.

“See? This puzzle is inherently flawed due to the way these paths are constructed. There’s no way any kid can solve this and enter for the Grand Prize Sweetstakes. Not cool Kellogg’s, not cool.”

Um.

You try your best to not let the “what the fuck dude?” seep out onto your facial features, but your mouth speaks faster than your blessed little heart.

“What the fuck, dude?”

You tried. Kind of.

Thankfully Dave seems unfazed, and you assume it’s because he’s completely used to your reactions to his strange comments, given he makes at least two bizarre remarks an hour.

“Yeah man. Total douchebag move by big cooperate men.”

He shakes his head in disapproval, and you realize he hadn’t understood the “what the fuck” was directed at him. You don’t really feel like correcting him, so you change the topic.

“What about the applejuice? Did big cooperate men ruin that, too?”

Dave picks up the jug and inspects it in a way that makes you wonder if big cooperate men really did ruin apple juice as well, but the way his lips pull up at the corners reassure you that your apple juice is safe from the clutches of seedy business practices, for now.

“Not at all. This is actually my favorite brand. Thanks, (y/n).”

You take note of the way he isn’t smirking like usual, and drink in how dimples form whenever he gives a heartfelt thank you. You try to burn it into your memory, but like all the other times the smile fades back into a smirk too quickly.

“Yeah, no problem.”

You ignore the twisting feeling in your stomach.

“So what else did’ya get today? You were out for a while.”

Your cheeks redden upon remembering why exactly you had taken so long and you chew on your bottom lip, not really wanting to tell Dave how you had brought the whole circus with you to the supermarket and made a spectacle of yourself.

…But then again, it’d be nice to talk to someone about how weird you got around attractive dudes. What better option than an attractive dude, himself? You’d avoid telling him that last bit, of course.

“There was… This guy.”

You rolled over and stared at the ceiling, feeling a bit squeamish facing Dave while recalling the incident. Then out of nowhere, you hear him give a shrill giggle.

“Oh. My. Gosh.” He claps his hands together and then covers his mouth, his voice taking a higher tone. “Oh my gosh, was he like, so totally hot?”

You drag your hands over your face and moan, kicking at the air.

“Holy fuck. Dave. You scared the shit out of me. Stop, you seriously sound like drunk Shawna.”

You flop back down, defeated and flustered. You swore to god this kid had a screw loose somewhere in that pretty head of his.

Dave quirked an eyebrow at your words, drawing up a knee and resting his chin on it, your sour mood putting a dampen on his perfect impression of thirsty fangirls. You can only see him out of your periphery, but the way his head is cocked still makes you swallow roughly.

Fuck. You thought you were over this.

“Okay, like you were saying?”

You sigh, folding your hands over your stomach and trying to gather your thoughts.

“I don’t really know what exactly about it is bothering me. I guess it’s that… You know…” You shrug, but it’s barely a shrug because the couch absorbs all your movement.

Dave waits for you to continue, but when you don’t he scooches closer to you. Just a bit.

“Yeeees?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes you guys are just…” You say, thinking back to the morning. How you stuttered over your words, tripped over your own two feet, right into Dirk’s strong, firm arms. His hair, his smirk, his shades.

“… So hot.”

Fuck.

You clamp your mouth shut the moment the words leave your lips, winded by your own complete idiocy, and pray to whatever god is up there that Dave missed what you said.

You dare a glance over at him and your hopes are dashed to high hell when you see that signature shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Oh?”

Just one word, and you knew exactly what he meant by it. A blush rages across your face, touching the tips of your ears and dusting your neck.

“Goddammit Dave! Not you!” You hesitate a bit as your mind revvs to life, then forces you to backtrack. “Well, I mean, yes, you. But—”

Dave gives you a bit of a look through the shades. What look, you weren’t sure, but damn it all if it wasn’t embarrassing.

“That’s not what I was trying to say! Shit, this is exactly what I mean.” You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing both Dirk and Dave out of your vision and mind, and exhale, defeated.

Suddenly, there’s a touch at your shoulder. Warm, reassuring. You open your eyes and refocus. It’s Dave, he’s next to you now. He still looks amused, but the sharp edges of his facial features are softer now, more patient.

“Hey,” He says. “I’m listening.”

You let yourself relax with his words, easing up on your mind. It was just Dave. Smug, smart, sexy Dave. Weird, lost, homeless Dave.

“I just feel so out of it sometimes.” You start, sitting up and crossing your legs. “I just get so nervous around people, I can’t act like myself. All I can do is think of what I want to do, what I want to say. Then I actually try to do it and just end up looking like a huge loser.”

You rub at your forearms, suddenly feeling a lot more self-conscious.

“It’s awkward, and uncomfortable. I’m awkward and uncomfortable. I honestly don’t even know how anyone’s even dealt with me until now. Maybe that’s why I’m here, living alone.”

Dave’s brows are pulled downwards but he says nothing.

“And today I met this guy at the supermarket. He knew what to say, too. He knew what to do, he was one step ahead of me and that made my fumbling weirdness even harder to hide. Guess I’m just one big lame-O.”

You put your fingers in the shape of an “o” up to your forehead with a halfhearted grin, but it promptly slips off when you see Dave’s slightly downturned lips. Your tense shoulders drop and you bury yourself in the couch, gaze cast out the window.

The crows are making their daily rounds outside the apartment and a few have stopped, as if eavesdropping on the drama.

“You’re not lame.” Dave says, then hesitates.

You glance at him, lips making this stupid pout that you know makes you look like a pufferfish because you’ve practiced it in the mirror as a joke, and now you can’t stop.

“I mean, shit. You want me to be honest? You totally are.” He shakes his head, his hair catching in the light passing through the window. “But so is everyone. We just show it in different ways. Egbert back at home used to ramble on and on about his personal vendetta against Betty Crocker, and Bro just mass produced ass-muppets whenever he was feeling off. All I did was hole myself in my room and draw on mspaint with a 2005 acer computer mouse.”

He seemed almost reminiscent while speaking, and it reminded you again that he had left things behind to come here, and would one day return to them.

“Sappy shit isn’t my strong suit, (y/n). But even an emotionally stunted dork like me knows that ‘lame shit’ becomes ‘dope as hell’ shit when you’re with the right people. Your friends love you, don’t they?”

He looks to you expectantly and you shy away from the question. Shawna and Tracy, whom you’ve been friends with through thick and thin? You recall the scene of them leaving the club together, leaving your apartment together, and something in you grows colder.

“Yeah.” You say before you can hesitate more, “They do.”

Dave stares at you and it’s as if he’s trying to burn a hole into your face. He stares and stares until you wonder if he, for once, doesn’t know what to say.

“Yeah.” He says, after an eternity of silence. “I know Bro does, too.”

The way he says that sticks a lump in your throat, and only now do you notice the phone he had clenched in his hand since you’ve come home.

“You’re not alone. You’ve got your friends.” He says again, now more adamantly. You watch as he brings his hand up and points at his chest. “And you’ve got me. And as a resident ‘hot guy’ and a Strider, I say you’re dope as fuck.”

The moment holds for a few seconds as you scrounge your mind for appropriate responses. You want to punch him for being so smug, want to hug him, want to make fun of him for being so damn cheesy. Even though you know part of your worries stem from something only you can settle, it feels like some of the weight has been lifted from your chest, and you can finally breathe again.

“Thank you Dave.” You say, a soft smile playing at your mouth. “And you’ve got me, too.”

Dave grins and winks at you, only noticeable from the slight pull of his cheek. “Already knew it, babe.”

Without another word, he gathers the fruits of your grocery venture and wanders into the kitchen. The crows by the window caw loudly and take off now that the show’s over. The flapping of their wings catches in the setting sun and throws shadows across your floor and table, drawing your eye to Dave’s phone, left on the table. You almost miss how he’s left it open on messages, almost miss one of his many outgoing, unrecieved texts.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timeausTestified [TT] at 5:31PM--

TG: miss u, bro. come home soon.

#stride of luck

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jupitertherevolution · 3 years ago

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its 230 but ive done tha writin check it out

“food as a love language”, johndave, 1k, slow burn but just barely the sparks

It’s 7pm on a Tuesday, and you and your boy are exhausted. Your boy being one Dave Strider, and you being one John Egbert. Though you’re not really thinking much about identity right now. In fact, the vague, nebulous concept of identity is the furthest thing from your mind right now. At the forefront of your mind right is a different vague, nebulous concept, one that has plagued humanity since the dawn of time: being fucking hungry.

Yes, you and Dave are incredibly hungry. It’s been a long day at work, you at the gas station and him at the Marshall’s, it’s storming like one sunuvabitch outside, and neither of you want to cook.

… But you will. Why? Because for one you’re the better cook out of you two, and you know that Dave wants you to cook even if he’s not saying it yet. The other reason is that if you don’t you’ll both just eat a few slices of cheese. And that’s not gonna cut it.

So while Dave sits his ass down on a barstool and leans on the counter, you consult the fridge. There’s not much in terms of raw ingredients.

“Man, we didn’t get to grab any groceries…” you complain aloud.

“We could reheat those wings?” Dave suggests from his slump on the counter. But you’re struck with an idea. You grab the wings, some shredded cheese, and a packet of tortillas. You snag some vegetable oil from the cabinet and set a frying pan onto the stove. You don’t turn on the burner just yet.

“Dude, what are you even cooking over there? The fridge is a barren-ass desert right now. A cold desert. A tundra. Gonna find a minecraft igloo with some jankass basement in there,” Dave says.

You smile as you start deboning the wings. You put the meat in a bowl and pop it in the microwave for 45 seconds. “I’m making leftovers quesadillas,” you tell him.

You turn on the burner and pour a little oil onto the pan. Just about the size of a quarter. You used to make these all the time when your dad couldn’t make it home by dinner time. You’ve got it down to a science. “They’re just quesadillas with whatever meat you have around the house.”

He snorts a bit at ‘meat you have around the house’. “Dude, you are a blessing,” he says.

You bat your hand as you swirl the oil around in the pan. “Nah, it’s easy. Besides, we gotta eat something, right?”

“No but like… you didn’t have to cook a wholeass meal.” The microwave beeps and you take the chicken out of the microwave. You lay a tortilla on the pan and it sizzles. “Cooking isn’t that hard, Dave. You just,” you start. You grab the cheese and sprinkle a generous amount. “…Add the cheese…” Next you lay a bit of chicken. “…and the chicken…” You grab a spatula and scoop under one side of the tortilla, folding it in half on itself. “…and then you just flatten it like this!”

He giggles. “Like my own personal cooking youtuber.”

“Oh, uh, whoops.” You say, a bit flushed.

“Nah, nah, it’s cool. I like it. It’s like I’m right there with you cooking, except not actually because that would be a disaster, I can’t cook for shit.”

You make a little pout as you flip the tortilla off of the pan and start making another one. “I’m sure you could cook fine if you learned to,” you say.

You can hear him smiling as he says, “Yeah but why would I need to? I’ve got you here as my personal chef!”

You laugh a bit at that. “Yeah, yeah. Anyways, can you grab some plates or some drinks? I’m almost done.”

“O-kay,” he says and makes the most demonic noise while stretching before sliding off of his seat and heading to the minifridge at the other side of the apartment. “You want a mountain dew or a pepsi?”

“Pepsi!” you answer and flip the second quesadilla off. One would think that’d be the end of it, but no! You always make two folded ones per person. Basic leftovers quesadillas rule. You put another tortilla on. “Man, I can’t believe you always buy pepsi… I want coke sometimes, man!” Dave gripes.

“Sorry Dave, but I just don’t like the hostile red. I need my soothing blues.” You’re on the verge of bursting into laughter just from saying it.

“What are you, a bull?” he says.

“Yes,” you say and hold a straight face for about a second before cracking up. It’s not that funny, but it’s become a running joke that you like pepsi better purely because of its ‘soothing blue packaging’.

You flip the third quesadilla off and get started on the last one. Tortilla, cheese, and chicken, in a nice rhythm. “Plates?” you say.

“Right, right,” Dave says and opens up the cabinet. “I’m still surprised you did all this. You didn’t have to.”

“Dave, I told you, it’s easy! Plus it tastes really good, and I didn’t really feel like eating shitty food tonight,” you say.

He sets the plates down on the counter across from you. “No but like dude, anything you cook is like, insanely good. I wake up every day and thank god I get to have a roomie who cooks like a goddamn michelin-approved restaurant chef.”

Your face warms a bit, but you flip the last quesadilla off and turn off the burner. “…Thanks Dave,” you finally manage to stammer out.

Finished with the cooking, you grab the pizza cutter and slice the quesadillas into quarters. You two grab your plates and drinks and sit next to each other. It’s as good as you thought it would be.

“Man, maybe you should teach me to cook. This is godly,” Dave says in between bites. “I’d be happy to teach you whenever you want, Dave,” you say.

The quesadillas are quickly demolished, and after putting the dishes in the dishwasher, you two are satisfied. “You down to just chill on the couch? Watch a movie?” he says.

You stand up and head to the living room corner. “Yeah, but I get to pick.” He complains as he gets up, “Nooo, you’re gonna pick something unironically shitty…”

“Hey, chef’s priveleges.”

#homestuck #johndave #davejohn #pepsicola #fanfic #slow burn #slow burn but it’s just the sparks #food cw #cw food

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notebooknebula · 3 years ago

Video

youtube

The Reality of Real Estate Investing with Dave Seymour & Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority

https://www.jayconner.com/the-reality-of-real-estate-investing-with-dave-seymour-jay-conner-the-private-money-authority/

Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority has a very special guest, Dave Seymour.

They discuss the reality of real estate investing. The nit and grit of the business. The struggles and lessons that need to be learned in order to achieve success in the real estate business.

Plus, Jay and Dave also talk about the best way how to grow capital!

All these and more in Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner.

After 16 years as a firefighter and paramedic, Dave Seymour launched his career, rapidly becoming one of the Nation’s top real estate investors. Within his first few years, Dave had transacted millions of dollars of real estate and had become one of the Nation’s leading experts in both residential and commercial transactions.

His unabridged passion for business and real estate put him on the radar of the A&E Television network as well as multiple television organizations like CBS, ABC, CNBC, Fox News, and CNN. New York Times reported that Dave Seymour’s series “Flipping Boston” posted the highest ratings ever for the A &E Network at the time of airing.

Dave has been sought after as a “tell like it is” mentor and motivator in the real estate world with a track record of unmatched success everywhere he reaches. Dave is well-known for doing business alongside investors on their very first real estate deal as well as guided some of the largest investment firms in the nation through complex transactions.

Timestamps:

0:01 – Get Ready To Be Plugged Into The Money

1:06 – Jay’s New Book: “Where To Get The Money Now” –https://www.JayConner.com/Book

2:16 – Today’s guest: Dave Seymour

4:27 – The Secret Origin of Dave Seymour

8:10 – Dave talks about when he started his real estate business.

10:10 – Early struggles and best lesson learned by Dave Seymour.

14:18 – What niche in the real estate business that you focused on?

16:49 – The best way to grow capital.

21:07 – Dave talks about his reality tv show “Flipping Boston”

24:06 – What does the law of reciprocity means to Dave Seymour?

26:54 – How does the law of reciprocity apply in real estate investing?

28:22 – Books recommended by Dave

29:04 – Dave’s parting comments: “ You don’t have to know everything. Educate don’t speculate”

30:39 – Connect with Dave Seymour – https://www.FreedomVenture.com

Private Money Academy Conference:

https://jaysliveevent.com/live/?oprid=&ref=42135

Have you read Jay’s new book: Where to Get The Money Now? It is available FREE (all you pay is the shipping and handling) at https://www.JayConner.com/Book

Free Webinar: http://bit.ly/jaymoneypodcast

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.

What is Real Estate Investing? Live Private Money Academy Conference

https://youtu.be/QyeBbDOF4wo

YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/c/RealEstateInvestingWithJayConner

iTunes:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/private-money-academy-real-estate-investing-jay-conner/id1377723034

Listen to our Podcast:

https://realestateinvestingdeals.mypodcastworld.com/11213/the-reality-of-real-estate-investing-with-dave-seymour-jay-conner-the-private-money-authority

The Reality of Real Estate Investing with Dave Seymour & Jay Conner

Jay Conner (01:44):

After 16 years as a firefighter and a paramedic, my special guest launched his career, rapidly becoming one of the nation’s top real estate investors himself. So within his first few years as a real estate investor, he had transacted millions of dollars of real estate and had become one of the nation’s leading experts in both residential and commercial transactions.

Well, his unabridged passion for business and real estate put him on the radar very, very quickly in the A&E television network, and other multiple television stations and organizations like CBS, ABC, CNBC, Fox News, and CNN. Well, the New York Times reported that my guest’s series titled, “Flipping Boston,” posted the highest ratings ever for the A&E Network at the time of airing. Well, my guest has been sought after as the tell-it-like-it-is motivator. Well folks, my guest, friend, and fellow mastermind member is Mr. Dave Seymour. So welcome to the Private Money Academy Podcast, Dave!

Dave Seymour (03:39):

My Lord, I was looking around to find the guy that you were just describing.

And then I have one of those moments, “Oh, it’s me.” Yeah. I’ve kicked some butt and taken some names in my career. God bless you, man. It’s a pleasure to be with you, dude. It really is. Thanks for having me on.

Jay Conner (03:59):

Well, I’m excited to have you on Dave. I mean, you have got quite the story. I mean, there’s not many of us guys and gals out here that have had the trip and the journey that you had. So, yes, we want to hear all about “Flipping Boston” and being on the A&E Network. But before we get to that, you got your seatbelt on? You ready to go?

Dave Seymour (04:22):

I’m ready to rock and roll, brother. I’m ready. Let’s rock and roll. You got it.

Jay Conner (04:26):

Well, tell us, how did you get started in real estate?

Dave Seymour (04:29):

Yeah. Great question. It’s always a good opener. It’s like you said, I was a firefighter and a paramedic for many years. I’m actually an immigrant to the United States of America. Don’t tell anybody. It’s a secret. I came from London, England back in 1986. I became a naturalized citizen. Absolutely loved what I was doing, but the challenge was, I wasn’t very financially literate back then, Jay, and I suffered the consequences of financial illiteracy and I got hurt pretty badly during the crash of 2008-09. I was a firefighter paramedic. I was working construction. I was working retail security. I was working about 120 hours a week and I couldn’t make ends meet. And I very quickly realized that what I was doing wasn’t working. I was following the herd as I call it, 401-Ks, et cetera, et cetera. Debt was bad.

Saved money. I mean, all of the misnomers that I was given from years of education. But anyway, I found myself in 2008 losing my primary residence, a pre-foreclosure scenario cost me a marriage, Jay, and it was a serious side to all of this stuff, relationship-wise. It wasn’t easy to be a father to my son or a husband to my wife when I was working that many hours, I was out of the house. And it’s funny, man. I look back at it today and I have a bright smile. At my lowest, lowest point, I always kind of looked north for some help and guidance and I’m screaming and shouting at my God. And I’m like, “What did I do wrong?!” I didn’t lie. I didn’t cheat. Didn’t steal.

I worked hard. I was a man among men. Worker among workers, and yet everything had turned to crap. And I’m shouting at my God and I’m like, “Help, help!” Those that seek shall find, right? And in that moment of clarity or insanity, depending on how you want to look at it, a commercial came on the radio and it was, “Teach me foreclosure.” I was in my pickup truck. “Teach me foreclosure. Free one and a half hour seminar coming to your neck of the woods. Do you want to be a real estate investor? Do you want to learn how to do transactional deals with no money down, no credit?” And I’m like, well, I got no credit. My credit score is like 2. I’ve got no money. I’m losing my house. But I believe that it worked, Jay.

That was what was important. Like I had faith that real estate was a vehicle to wealth because I’d seen it, working on the construction sites, the investors showed up. They didn’t have any dirt on their boots. They were driving nicer cars. They got shiny white teeth. They were smiling. I wasn’t. So that was how it started, man. I went to a seminar. I’m a product of real estate education and training. And I took to it like a duck to water. I had no way to go but up really, was the answer to it. And I put one foot in front of the other. Worked with my now-wife, Mary Beth, for the 3-day class, and invested $27,000 on her credit cards. She was my first private lender, go figure, right? My wife. It’s the truth. I looked at her and I said, “What do you think?” It was $27,000 for like 5 classes.

I said, “What do you think, baby?” Then she goes, “I don’t know, what do you think?” I said, “I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing. You know, the cost just keeps going up. The emotional costs, the physical costs.” She said, “Go get ’em!” She said, “I’m proud of you. I love you. I support you in anything you want to do.” And I looked at her, I said, “I’m so glad you said that. We’ve got to use your credit cards, mine are maxed out.” That was the truth and that’s how it all began. So yeah, kind of a long story, short, short story long, however you want to put it, but that was it.

Jay Conner (08:09):

So what year did you start your education and when did you go full-time real estate investing?

Dave Seymour (08:19):

Yeah, I started my first classes in late 2007 and 2008. Like the foreclosure crisis was just beginning to ramp up. And I started learning how to do short sales and distressed assets. And 18 months later, I quit the fire department and I say, “I quit.” I didn’t really quit. I retired. And the reason I retired was it got to a point where it cost me way too much money to go to work. It is as simple as that. I had made enough noise and grabbed enough attention in those 18 months that I was in the process of doing the TV show, “Flipping Boston.” I had surrounded myself with different people. I learned about internet marketers and the different ways of lead generation and attraction and execution and contracts and money. And I was like, all in man. I was like, where am I? Where has this been my whole life? You know, I’m like, I’m alive!

And that was it. That was how it started.

Jay Conner (09:22):

I experienced the same exact thing when I got into real estate investing. It was like, “My lands, where has this been all my life?” And my very first real estate investing seminar that I went to, I had already been doing this business for 6 years. My lands, don’t start out that way, get your education first. But I was cut off and lost my lines of credit in January of 2009. And that’s what triggered me to go to my first educational seminar to learn about private money. And that’s what got me going, this world of private money. So you got in there 18 months after getting your education. You retired from the firefighting and paramedic world. What were some of your early struggles when you started out and what are the lessons you learned from them?

Dave Seymour (10:18):

Yeah, that’s a great question. The biggest struggle I ever had was with my own head. Growing up a blue-collar guy now moving into a white-collar world. It was very hard for me to believe early in my career that people would sell assets to me for a discount. It was about self-worth, like I did a ton of personal development as part of my business development. Believing that I was worthy, believing that I had something of value, which was my education, which was the way that I looked at a real estate transaction. And as you do it, here’s the key. I think Jay, and I don’t know if you agree with this, I anticipate that you do, but as long as I was always in motion, in forward motion, as long as I was putting, honestly, my very best effort with one foot in front of the other.

If I was removing the negativity around me, the people who said, “You can’t.” I loved it when somebody said I can’t because I’d immediately turn it to, “I can.” And I just execute. And I just somehow succeeded. So it was about working on my mind first. A guy said to me, “Dave, there’s 6 inches of detrimental thinking that lives between your ears.” He said, “Only you can control that. Only you can. Are you wealth? Are you confidence? Are you joy? Are you value?” He said, “Because if you believe you are, then that will resonate to the people around you.” And I started looking at opportunities where I could bring massive value. And it wasn’t money-driven, Jay. It wasn’t money. Money was the by-product of service first. Helping a distressed homeowner. Looking after your contractors and treating them like equals, not like they were lesser citizens or whatever. Leaving my pride and my ego and pocket it to one side. Stepping into every relationship with everybody being at a hundred. And losing points rather be at zero.

I’d always have to gain points. You know what I mean? I bought an attitude of gratitude to everything that I did. And I just kept going, man. There’s a book out there. It says, “Six inches short of gold, or six feet short of gold.” And the idea is, is it just that one more phone call? Is it just that one more author? Is it just that one more relationship? Are you gonna quit before it’s time to succeed? And what happens is, 90% of our competition, if not higher, quit. And that’s why guys like us succeed because we stay the course. We have the tenacity, we have the drive, we have the faith, the belief. And again, surrounding myself with like-minded people who wanted to do what I was doing and that overcame any hurdle. There aren’t any hurdles. They’re just little blips along the radar. It’s as simple as that.

Jay Conner (13:13):

Well, what you just said, Dave, is one of the reasons that you and I resonate so well with each other and that is, it’s never about the money for the long-term. Making a lot of money can be a motivation for somebody in their short term. But you know, it’s been my experience over all the years of being in business. Whenever I got involved in an activity or an opportunity, and the only interest that I had in that opportunity was to make money, I never succeeded. I never succeeded. And it all comes down to what you just said, having a servant’s heart. I know you gotta love Zig Ziglar like I love Zig Ziglar, right?

Dave Seymour (13:54):

Right on my wall, right there. “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Zig Ziglar, it’s right there on my wall, brother.

Jay Conner (14:07):

That’s it, that’s it.

Dave Seymour (14:13):

Look at that, I’m getting goosebumps on my arms.

Jay Conner (14:13):

Mine are standing up on my neck. So, as far as your real estate investing journey, what have you focused on? Fix and flips? Wholesaling? What niches of real estate have you really been involved in and like, just knocked it out of the park?

Dave Seymour (14:34):

“Yes” is the answer to all of them. Yeah. Look, here’s the thing. As you become more intelligent in your industry, you see more opportunities. So, the TV show, “Flipping Boston,” pigeon-holed me as the grumpy construction guy who just got it done, which is all BS, it’s reality TV, right? But the reality of it was, I really did buy houses with my partner, we really did renovate them, fix them, sell them, and make a profit. Wholesaling is easier money. It’s just great negotiation skills, understanding the mechanics. I think the biggest disservice in the education space is that people say, if you just learn how to be a wholesaler, then you’ll make quick money. Well, that’s garbage. You gotta know how to be a rehabber so that you can be a great wholesaler, right?

If you don’t understand the mechanics, the numbers, the time, the ARVs, et cetera, et cetera. So I’ve always been in that field. Always, always will be in that field. Although it’s not my focus so much today. Along the way, buy and hold, get some cash flow coming in, get some appreciation, let the tenant go to work and pay down your debt service for you, thank you very much. Treat them like the gold that they are. Don’t be a slum landlord, give them clean, decent, affordable housing, give them a response immediately when they need you, if you can, to make sure that you build that relationship with them. They’re the most valuable asset that you have as a real estate investor, is your tenant base. And then today, we level up. It’s always a case of levelling up. I can’t sit still. It’s my A.D.D. DNA. And today we’re in the commercial real estate space. I run a $100 million private equity fund that invests in multi-family assets in the Sunbelt. And we just started our build-for-rent strategies where we’ve got 6-acreage plots in Florida, another 8-acreage plots in South Carolina and Atlanta. And now we’re going to be building houses for the folks who want to rent and not own. So there’s a trajectory, Jay, which part of that do you want to address for us?

Jay Conner (16:44):

Well, you’ve done it all and it’s just part of ascending up the ladder. Now you just mentioned that you’ve got a pretty large fund for the commercial projects. So like myself, you know a whole lot about growing capital, attracting capital. I mean, both you and I could talk a long time about that, but let’s just stop here for a moment. Tell us from your experience, what’s the best way to grow capital?

Dave Seymour (17:14):

So look, there is an absolute learning curve, right? So when I was doing single-family buy fix and flip, attracting an investor, first of all, who understood the business, was critically important. So you could do that through show and tell. This is what we paid for it. This is what we did to it. This is how much we made. And this is what our private lender made on it. Protected, secured, and insured. 8% interest. Interest only, blah, blah, blah. You know the pitch, right? And that becomes word of mouth. So, my portfolio attracted that retail investor. I’m not going to lie, Jay. I’m going to be truly transparent. It can be hard work. It could be heavy lifting sometimes with the retail investor. We use the term, “If it feels like I’m pushing a donkey up a hill, then I got to stop doing it.”

Right? So how do I get attraction? How do I get motion? Repetitive actions? It’s by being successful. The very first private loan I took was $35,000 from a lieutenant at the fire department. And I said, “So, Mike, could you give me $35,000? I’m going to put you in a third lien position on this property. But I’m going to give you your $35,000 back in 3 weeks plus an additional $5,000.” I knew I could do it because the property was on the contract. We just needed this money to squeeze roots at the finish line. So I give him his money back in 2 weeks and he’s ecstatic. And he said to me that day, “Dude, that was a great deal!” I said, “Thanks, Lt. I appreciate it.” He said, “If you ever,” magic words, “if you ever need money again, you come to me first.”

“And if I don’t have it, I know somebody who does.” And what he was referring to was his father because his father was a retired chief. So, the first one is always the toughest one. But once you’ve got traction underneath that, it becomes a system. It becomes repetitive and it creates its own motion. Today, I’m in a different sandbox altogether. Today, I attract capital through the portfolio. I attract capital through family offices, institutional capital. How would you like this for a problem, Jay? You ready? I have 18 months to put together a half a billion dollar portfolio because I’ve got an arbitrage trust company that’s ready to take it out at a full cap on the buy-side and an 8.5, 9% cash on cash return. So, there’s a guy waving a half a billion dollar check in my face and he’s like, “Go find me the real estate. Let’s go!” So, it’s interesting because the first guy that I learned commercial from was a very, very cool gentleman. His name’s Dave Lindahl. He’s in Massachusetts.

Jay Conner (20:12):

Yeah, Dave’s a good friend of mine.

Dave Seymour (20:14):

Okay. So DL said to me, “Dave, it’s just zeroes. More zeroes on the way in, more zeros on the way out. Just run the deal the same way.” And I never forgot that. So yeah, that’s how we raise money today, man.

Jay Conner (20:30):

That’s awesome. Before I get to my next question, let me ask you this first. So everybody’s dying to hear the short story summary of your television stardom of the A&E show “Flipping Boston.” So take a moment and tell us about that. Well, before you tell us about reality TV, I tell people whenever the ask me, “Jay, tell me about all these flipping shows.” And I’ll say, “The only thing real about reality TV is none of it’s real, except Dave Seymour’s Flipping Boston because he actually did have to do all that.” But anyway, take a moment and tell me and the audience about that reality TV experience.

Dave Seymour (21:12):

Look, it’s a blessing and a curse, depending on how you want to look at it. The blessing was the national exposure. I don’t know about anybody else. I didn’t get rich off of a TV show. I think it was $15,000 an episode at the end of our career there. Here’s what the benefits are. The exposure. It put me on the Today Show multiple times. It put me on the Rachel Ray show multiple times. It allowed me to be recognized as a national expert and a pundit on CNBC and CBS and other networks. So that was the caveat to it. The nitty gritty of a real estate transaction being filmed for a TV show. If it’s a half an hour TV show like these fix and flippers, these shows on HGTV, you know what I mean?

If it’s a half hour show, look, man. Paint and carpet, paint and carpet. You’re not making 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, a hundred thousand dollars on paint and carpet, okay? So stop it. Be serious. They’re creating a TV show. You know, with us up here in New England, my inventory’s some old, old ladies, man. I mean, 1890, you know, 1880. The oldest lady I ever loved was 1892, I think she was born. And she was an old school in Newburyport that we turned into a couple of high-end condominiums. But we really did rip the houses apart and put them back together again. And the thing is, I will always give kudos to my ex-partner, Pete, on this, was he ran the numbers as if there was nothing special about the exposure or anything else. Like the numbers were real. The real numbers in, the real numbers out. The profit, whether it was a skinny margin or a better margin, he stayed true to the numbers.

Look, can you flip a house in 3 weeks and make 40, 50 grand? Maybe. You can flip a contract and make 40 grand. And you can do that in 24 hours if you know what I know, right? So, reality TV had to create a story, had to create a show. And I allowed a goofball like me to have some fun. I’d break the fourth wall all the time. The fourth wall is the camera. I got to break it all the time, just not talking to the camera. You know what I mean? They’re like, “You can’t do that.” And I’d say, “Keep it in there. It’s good.” So yeah, if you’re watching those shows, watch them for the show value, do not watch them for educational value because if you’re watching for educational value, you’re going to get your butt handed to you. We’ll watch them for show value and I’ll enjoy the pretty ladies. Enjoy the drama. Oh my God, the pipes burst! Let’s go to commercials. Right? You can play all of that as silly games if you’re hunting. It’s a show, come on now.

Jay Conner (23:58):

I love it. Thanks for telling it like it is, Dave. After all, you are known as the “tell it like it is guy.” So both you and I, Dave, are big believers in the law of reciprocity. So 2 questions. Tell everybody, what’s your definition of the law of reciprocity? And how does it apply to real estate investing?

Dave Seymour (24:20):

Yeah, that’s such a good question. Look, man reciprocity, they actually did, like the intelligence psychoanalyst kind of guys and girls looked at reciprocity, and it’s part of our DNA. And our DNA says as homo sapiens, that if I do something for you that is perceived to be valuable, you in return will do something back for me. But don’t bring value to someone with an expectation of value. Just give because giving is good, right? Start there. Our rewards are coming from high up above. They’re not always coming in the paycheck. You know what I mean? So reciprocity is just going out and being of service, I believe. I know a guy, who I see as the ultimate in reciprocity. I know a guy who’s financially stable. This guy has a couple of boys. They’re now 11 and 9 years old.

And what this man does is he takes his children to Walmart the last 2 weeks before Christmas every year. And he will put down $5,000 at the layaway counter and tell the lady behind the counter, “Pay down $5,000 worth of layaways, whatever comes up on your screen until those layaways are all paid off.” And he just shows his sons that. That’s reciprocity, this man. And I’ve had many, many, many conversations with him. And he says, “Reciprocity has put me in a position to be financially free.” And the Law of Reciprocity says if I want to keep something, I have to give it away. Say that again. If you have something of value, if you’re going to keep it, then you have to give it away. Pass it on, is what we use for terminology. So that’s my definition of reciprocity. And here’s the other thing, man, when it comes to charity and giving them philanthropy, don’t do it to get recognized, do something good for somebody else and then keep your mouth shut. Because that I believe is the definition of humility, which works side by side with reciprocity. So that’s just my own philosophy on it. And it’s served me pretty well.

Jay Conner (26:37):

It reminds me of what Jesus told the Pharisees when they’re out there praying in the public square, their arms lifted up and leg Jesus said, “Go pray in your closet and shut the door,” right? I love it. How does the law of reciprocity apply in real estate investing?

Dave Seymour (27:00):

Look, through coaching. Through passing it on. Through being humble. Okay? There’s a lot of ego in our industry, Jay. Let’s just be honest about it, right? “Look at me, I’m the best. I’ve got a private jet. I’ve got a big house,” you know, all of that stuff. I don’t believe that encompasses reciprocity. Reciprocity is an opportunity to give somebody a hand up, not give somebody a handout, right? When you’re in a position to share knowledge, knowledge is only powerful if implemented, right? So that’s what I like about real estate reciprocity. And then we get to pass that along to our clients. To a homeowner in distress with whatever that situation is and the reciprocity in there works along the way of, “You know what, that person knows somebody else.” And my reputation will always walk before me. Unfortunately, bad news travels faster than good news. We all know that. And if you make loud, good news with clients and let them speak your words afterwards, then reciprocity and momentum follows afterwards. So that’s how I look at it, brother, right or wrong. It’s certainly good.

Jay Conner (28:21):

I love it. Dave, what book have you gifted to other people more than any other book?

Dave Seymour (28:28):

It’s “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. Law of attraction. And then my good friend, Jack Canfield’s “Secrets of Success.”

Jay Conner (28:38):

Oh yes. My wife, Carol Joy, and I went to see him. I’m looking at the certificate up here. We went to Jack Canfield’s first event of his, that was The Breakthrough to Success. And I got so excited. I went back and paid the big bucks and got certified to teach Jack Canfield stuff because I just love it. Dave, I have just loved having you here on the podcast as we wind down. Do you have any parting comments or final advice that you would like to share with the audience and then be sure to tell the folks how they can get hold of you.

Dave Seymour (29:13):

Yeah, for sure. It’s always interesting how you wrap up a conversation. For me, I think about the people who listened to us, Jay. What do they want? What are their needs? How can we serve them best? And I know it sounds kind of kitschy, but I always say, “To thine own self, be true.” Is what you’ve been doing working? Be honest with yourself. And if it hasn’t, it’s okay to do something different. You don’t have to know everything before you do anything. Take the first step. Educate, don’t speculate. And find the people that are doing what you want to do at the highest level possible. Do your due diligence and then step into action. A lot of fantastic people sitting on couches, wishing and wanting and dreaming. But then there’s a smaller population of guys like us who are out there actually doing it, right?

Not just teaching it, but we’re actually out there doing it as well. So step into your own greatness. And if you want to connect with us, if you want to learn anything about what we do at Freedom Venture Investments, I know Jay’s got a website that he can send you to there. I’m old school, brother. You could pick up the phone and call us at (781) 922-4418. One of my team members will pick up the phone and connect to me if that’s possible. I try to be as available as I can. So I just want to keep it moving forward, brother. I’m the opposite of stale.

#Jay Conner #Private Money Lender #Real Estate Business #Real Estate #Real Estate Investing #Real Estate Investor #Real Estate Profit #The Private Money Authority #Flip Your House

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sepublic · 4 years ago

Text

Kipo Season 2 Thoughts!

-Wolf smiles a LOT in this Season, at least moreso than usual, and I’m living for it! Maybe one day I’ll make a “Smiles I want to protect” montage, but it’s just every shot of Wolf smiling...

-I have to wonder, is Fun Gus a result of the lab experiments as well, or did he just sort of move in after the place was blown open by Song?

-Emilia though... Ugh. Not really much else to say about her. She talks big about humans having built an empire or whatever, but she also seems to conveniently forget that it was humans who also brought it down. Or, not- Maybe Mutes deliberately had an uprising, but still. I wondered if we’d have Human characters who are very pro-human, but at the cost of Mutes as a result... I guess we got them, and in the form of a genocidal jerk!

-The Rats were my favorite Mute group followed by the Umlaut Snakes, so OF COURSE the show had to mess with me by having Scarlemagne attack them! Thankfully, Brad and Amy made it out alive and good, but I’m still depressed over them! Ratland was THEIR dream- Which confirms they were in charge, but also we saw other background rats? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM??? But hey, at least Brad and Amy are okay, I just wish they got their Goat Cheese! Maybe they can make a NEW Ratland from the ruins of Aurum, that’d be fitting! Also the Umlauts are fine, although I didn’t see one of them... I think she was the one voiced by a famous celebrity? That’d explain the absence, guest voices can be hard to reprise. However...

-DANG, I did NOT expect the Mod Frogs to die like that! After Brad and Amy got away fine, I just... YIKES. I knew Scarlemagne was going to be upset at them for messing with his family, and in his own house no less, but... OOF. RIP to those frogs, they shall be missed- Really, I was just thinking about how much I enjoyed the designs and vibes of them before, y’know... Jamack really dodged a bullet there, huh? And talk about MESSED UP... The Mod Frog Boss got to choose her own place in Aurum, and that’s why she and the others were there before everyone else! That blessing by Scarlemagne led to a Butterfly’s effect of their horrific execution, I just... It’s messed up, especially knowing that their bodies are forever buried under who knows HOW many karats of gold?!

-I realized that the Goats adopted a reverence for Cheese because Goats have their milk used to make cheese (as well as other culinary purposes), but like... It didn’t really SINK IN that it was their milk until Dave asked. Brilliant way to end THAT episode, I tell you!

-Back to Wolf... WE GOT TO SEE HER SING! We saw her make Stalky! RIP Stalky... hopefully she makes a new one- Possibly from that same Death Stalker she beat, though I’m not sure if it’s still alive? Regardless, it was a TREAT to see more backstory for her, and how she learned to fight off the Death Stalkers, and then chose to attack one for its stinger! Anyhow, I need to hear her sing Heroes on Fire at least... TWELVE more times after this!

-Did NOT see that twist over the masked figures being the ones to put the collar on Song, not Scarlemagne! One might say that the show is ‘predictable’ in some ways, but in those ways that predictableness FEELS good and proper! Like how an actual story should go... At the same time, KatAoW still saves its genuine twists for what really matters!

-Love the usage of Mulholland by the way, glad to see the friendships made along the way have paid off! I wonder if he’ll be used to help Song speak to Kipo and Lio more! Also, it was weird to see some Fitness Raccoons boo Kipo and Co. while at Cappuccino’s place, but I guess the animators just needed some background variety.

-And, hey! Cappuccino has a fun design, although it feels awkward since I’ve just recently eaten shrimp... Although I HAVE recently visited some brunch places, so I can still appreciate her cafe!

-Did not expect the potential plot thread of Kipo losing control and hurting others as a Mega-Jaguar. I was legit concerned when she almost went for the kill on Gerard, and I love how Wolf, who is very much survival of the fittest, still respects and admires Kipo’s compassion to save her from doing that!

-Good for Jamack, by the way, getting the fame he also desired with those The-Otters! On a small note, I love the gag of the whole gang being unmasked, before we see one Otter, because then you remember that there was that one dude who was also in a costume! Pretty surreal seeing the gang play caricatures of themselves, in COSTUMES of themselves...!

-Zane and Greta are himbos, they’re total Kronks. Not much else to say, I just like that about them! I’ve seen TWO buff, himbo ladies working for the bad guys by Dreamworks -Scorpia and Greta- and I’m down for more!

-It was ADORABLE seeing Mandu try to mimic the tusks of those Boar-Mutes, and how they low-key were encouraging Mandu as well?

-Also, will Kipo’s community NOT LISTEN TO EMILIA SHUT UP YOU’RE THE WORST CHARACTER NOW I WAS WILLING TO GIVE SCARLEMAGNE A CHANCE BUT THEN YOU-

-Dave is apparently so immortal that he can survive being blown apart from the inside? Those Bats made a point that I’d become desensitized to, but... He really IS the weirdest character now that I think about it!

-Poor Kipo, each season ends with her thinking her journey is over, only for someone else to come in and change the current objective after the previous one was fulfilled! Give Kipo a break, dang it!

#kipo #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #kataow #spoilers #kipo spoilers #kipo season 2 #wolf #kipo oak #jamack #scarlemagne #mulholland

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deniigi · 4 years ago

Note

I WOULD LOVE A DAVE FIC !!!

Excellent. Here’s for you and @dudewhereismy-tardis

I am putting most of it under the cut because it is LONG

Dave (Daredevil copycat from Inimitable Verse) POV. Reminder that Dave is not his real name, but one given to him disdainfully by Wade in this verse.

Title: rises in the east

------------

“Dad.”

What?

“Dad.”

What time was it?

“Your phone’s ringing,” Charlie said. “It’s the boss.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Give it here,” Dave rasped, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Mom said you’re gonna hurt your back sleepin’ on the couch,” Charlie reported as she shoved his phone into his palm.

“My couch, my rules,” Dave said. He crammed the phone to his ear. “Ansel here,” he said.

Charlie wanted to stay home and if she was a year older, Dave would have let her. But alas. The last time he’d let her stay home, she’d texted her friend Jesse who had become unspeakably jealous and had appealed to her own parents for such freedoms, and now the whole block thought that Dave recklessly abandoned his daughter when he went to the goddamn grocery store.

All that for a can of Sprite, man.

This neighborhood was off the fuckin’ charts sometimes.

Case in point: Dani standing in front of him in the lobby with her hands on her hips, telling him that he needed to wear a tighter t-shirt or to start flexing because they were losing business.

“Dani, I’m an instructor,” he reminded her. “I’m hired to do classes.”

“It’s two hours,” Dani said. “Take the damn fliers.”

But he didn’t want to?

Dani blinked at him slowly from under her headband.

Charlie was having a great time and Dave was glad for that because he was not. He was being stared at by every person in the street as if they’d never seen a dude with muscles before.

It was the shirt.

He knew it was the shirt.

And possibly his nipples. Smashing the brochures high enough against his chest to cover them wasn’t going well and the highlighter teal underarmor Dani had forced upon him left very little to the imagination here.

There wasn’t anything else to do but let the poor things live their best lives.

“Dad, gimme more,” Charlie said.

She tugged at the brochures covering what was left of his dignity.

Blessed child, who hurt you?

“Where did the others go?” he asked her.

Charlie pointed across the road to a gaggle of ladies leaning out from their stoop, smiling.

Ah.

Yes.

Them.

“Let’s try for someone who looks more like a bro,” he told his offspring.

Charlie blinked up at him.

“Why?” she asked.

Oh, baby.

“Because they’re an easy mark,” he said. “Go up and say ‘my dad can take you’ and send ‘em my way, okay?”

Charlie’s face went from confused to ready to kill instantly.

This was her game face. This was her ‘I’m gonna wreck this goalee’s teeth’ face.

Dave shouldn’t have been proud of her, really; her teachers said that she was becoming argumentative and obstinate in the classroom. But there was just something there in the fact that his kid sure as shit wasn’t no sheep that made his chest feel big, wide, and full of hot air.

“I’m on it,” Charlie said.

He gave her three brochures and let her scramble off to the other side of the sidewalk and then turned to meet the eye of a family with a father with neat hair and the beginnings of triceps peeking out from under his sleeves.

“You lookin’ for a gym, sir?” he asked.

The guy looked his way and eyed him up.

He took a flier on his way past.

“Excuse me?”

“One second, man,” Dave said, doing the rock-shuffle to keep all the fliers on the table from blowing away.

“Excuse me.”

“Hey, I said just a sec,” Dave snapped.

He turned back and found himself staring into the dark eyes of a bald man with olive skin and deep wrinkles in his forehead.

And Dave knew him.

Holy shit.

Dave knew him.

Fuck.

God.

Jesus, Lord.

“I am so sorry,” he started.

“DAD.”

Ch—Charlie?

He looked down and sure enough, holding Rudolph ‘Diamond’ De Luca’s massive bearpaw was his very own daughter. De Luca made her wiry, suntanned limbs seem like unbaked pretzels.

He was so much bigger than he’d seemed on TV all those years ago.

“This your kid?” De Luca asked.

Jesus.

“She is. I’m so sorry,” Dave said, “Did she—she didn’t bite you or anything, did she?”

“Dad,” Charlie whined. “Don’t tell ‘im that.”

“I’ll pay for whatever damage—” Dave continued.

De Luca blinked at him impossibly slowly with long dark eye lashes. He turned his face slowly back down towards Charlie.

“You sure this is your old man?” he asked.

Wh—

Wait.

What the hell did that mean?

“That’s him,” Charlie moaned. “He’s just bein’ dumb. Dad. Stop bein’ dumb. This dude’s the real deal. He’ll fight you in a heartbeat.”

Dave grabbed his child before she could cause any more damage. She made a fuss, but let go of De Luca’s mitt. Dave shoved her behind him, just in case this situation got any more tense than it needed to be.

De Luca lifted an eyebrow at that and then brought his face back up to Dave’s.

“Who’s gym?” he asked.

What?

Oh.

“Spitfire,” Dave said. “We’re, uh, just about there, on the—”

“I know where you’re about,” De Luca said.

Dave didn’t know what to say. De Luca held his eye.

Oh, god.

This wasn’t going well.

“How old are you, son?” De Luca asked.

FFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffuck.

“38,” Dave said.

“And your baby girl?” De Luca asked, gesturing with his chin down at Charlie.

“I’m 12,” Charlie told him brightly.

“Hm,” De Luca said.

He shifted his weight back and wrapped a few fingers around his chin, surveying Dave’s whole body like he was the statue of David with a knee injury.

Dave became intimately aware of his nipples again.

“Not bad,” De Luca said.

Oh, thank god.

“Thank you, sir,” Dave said. “Is there, uh, somethin’ I could help you with?”

“You got an accent,” De Luca noted.

Uh?

“A good accent,” De Luca said. “Whereabouts did you grow up?”

Oh.

Well.

Dave could actually just point to it from here. The condo was still standing, despite all building codes and actual alien invasions. At this point, the only thing that was gonna take it down were the rampant, rapidly mutating, borderline feral gangs of chickens that roamed its halls.

Not that anyone spoke about them.

No, that was inviting trouble to your doorstep.

“The chicken coop?” De Luca said.

The one and only.

“Bless you, you poor fuck.”

Yeah, that tended to be the usual reaction.

De Luca laughed.

“You’re a funny guy, uh,” he squinted at Dave’s nametag, “Ansel?”

How could a word sound so wrong in someone’s mouth?

Where had Dave’s life gone wrong that his own name sounded so foreign and distant to his ears?

“Actually,” he said, swallowing, “My uh, my friends call me ‘Dave.’”

De Luca’s head snapped right up and slowly, a grin spread across his face.

“Oh, now, that’s a good name for ya,” he said. “You look like a Davy.”

Hng.

Diamond De Luca thought he looked like a ‘Davy.’

Welp.

Time to get that birth certificate changed.

“Listen, Davy,” De Luca said casually, “Your baby girl there was tellin’ me that your boss has you out here like dancin’ monkey; is that true?”

Fffffffffff.

Technically yes?

“It’s even his day off,” Charlie whispered.

Dave wrapped a hand over her face.

“It’s fine,” he said. “It happens. Folks’ve been sick lately. I don’t normally do this kinda thing.”

De Luca’s face said that that was real cute. Real, real cute, honey.

“Well,” he said, “Let’s just say it like this. Where you work don’t gotta be where you train.”

Oh.

Was he offering--?

“If you decide to drop by, tell the guy at the desk Rudy sent you,” De Luca said. “Your kid’s real sweet, Davy. She can come too, lord knows the damn place is a daycare at this point.”

“Thank? You?” Dave stuttered.

“Don’t mention it,” De Luca said.

He left. Dave watched him waltz down the block and wave at the gals collected on the stoop at the end of it and felt a little lightheaded.

“Dad?”

Not right now, champ.

“Dad? Is he famous or somethin’?”

HHHHHHHHHHNG.

Back when Dave had been 14 and scraping the tips of his fingers into callouses on the old guitar he’d found tossed into a dumpster in the Upper West Side, he’d had to compete with the sound of the couple fighting in the apartment next door and with the radio the old man downstairs always had playing on his fire-escape window.

The old man downstairs was a real hard-ass. Always slammed a broom into the ceiling, scaring the shit out of Mom and Dad and sister and auntie. Dave had never seen him not smoking, nor had he ever seen him without suspenders.

The man was a retired plumber, apparently. And while Jim Beam was his main vice, his passion was boxing.

To the tune of chords picked out of an out-of-tune guitar, Dave had listened to tinny commentators oohing and awing over match after match, until finally, when sleep wouldn’t come one night, Dave had snuck out of the room he’d shared with Flora. He’d settled down on the living room couch, next to his old man splayed out in the recliner.

Dad had lifted his eyes slowly his way and told him that he should have been in bed.

Dave had told him that he couldn’t sleep because the couple next door was makin’ up from their daily afternoon argument and Dad had just sighed.

He’d let Dave stay up with him and the TV in the living room had fuzzed and rattled away, making sounds really familiar to Dave at that point.

Boxing was a sport that he had, up until that night, left to his father. But for the lack of anything else to talk about that wouldn’t make his dad look at him with disappointment in his eyes for all that damn music-playin’ and eyeliner, he’d asked who the guy on the screen was.

And that was how he’d learned about Diamond De Luca.

About Kenny Varga. Bert ‘The Albatross’ Kleinfeld.

But there was one guy who Dad had mentioned was his favorite rookie and, now it felt both kind of silly and surreal that the name had been spoken so casually in Dave’s home growing up.

Dad had been puttin’ money on Battlin’ Jack Murdock back when Dave had been a little kid.

He told Dave, disappointedly, after a few weeks of Dave getting up at 12:30 to come out and watch boxing with him that he’d really thought that Murdock was gonna be the next big thing.

Guy was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, Dad had said, shaking his head. But wolves that got too wily got put down and Battlin’ Jack had been found in an alley, bled out in the arms of his reason for fighting.

Dad said it was a fuckin’ shame that Murdock had gone out with a slug in his head.

A fuckin’ shame, he said.

Dave didn’t remember him every saying that Murdock’s reason for fighting was a blind ten-year-old, but the thought was now merged with that memory.

That, in itself, was merged with the memory of Dave’s phone ringing one night was Addie’s name on the Caller ID. Her voice was shaking when she told Dave that the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen had just called her from an unknown number.

He had their baby.

He’d snatched her and Jesse out of the arms of two men looking for girls to be used in businesses Dave didn’t want to think about.

He’d saved them.

The devil had heard their screams when no one else had and he’d come flying out of the dark.

He’d held the girls in the light of a bodega and he’d coached Charlie through typing Addie’s number into his phone and then he’d taken it from there.

Addie was too scared to go meet the devil on her own. Mason hadn’t been around yet and so Dave had thrown on his shoes and had meet her on 46th.

The devil was on 48th, swinging his boots with both girls in his lap.

They were all singing. The devil had pretended like he didn’t know the words to Britney Spears’s ‘Toxic.’

Matt Murdock was under that mask.

Knowing that this whole time, he’d been the one dragging a stick against the fences and bricks of Hell’s Kitchen was almost impossible to digest.

And Dave had worked with him now.

He’d seen that smirk and that notorious jaw unwrapped from its red armor and that didn’t make reconciling the murdered boxer’s son with the man who’d saved his daughter any easier.

Charlie hadn’t remembered him.

She thought that Matt Murdock was a weird fuckin’ dude, and granted, he was a weird fuckin’ dude, but Dave had to say: he was grateful.

Matt Murdock not only brought home his baby, but he’d given Dave purpose in a life that had become consumed by the daily grind.

Matt Murdock had smiled in his direction, never quite into his eyes, and he’d passed along the baton with next to no fight.

Dave wasn’t him.

Dave would never be him.

Matt Murdock wasn’t just some poor murdered boxer’s blind son. He was the product of some serious poverty. Some serious violence. A whole fuckin’ cult induction, if he was to be believed. And Dave wasn’t so sure if he was always to be believed.

But he still appreciated Matt Murdock for what he’d done and what he’d made for this part of the city.

He’d made Daredevil.

And he shared that with Dave.

Dave’s own dad’s approval hadn’t felt like the honor that had come with Matt Murdock’s covered eyes and curled lip slowly relaxing as he’d lifted his face up from Dave’s knees.

He hadn’t been inspecting.

He’d been listening. Dipping his fingers into the blood in Dave’s heart and deciding if he was worth his salt.

Matt Murdock, son of Battlin’ Jack Murdock, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym in the Kitchen.

Diamond De Luca, retired heavyweight, was a product of Fogwell’s Gym.

The stars had aligned. And Dave had stood in their path.

And he wasn’t wasting the chance that they offered him.

Charlie was stoked to be allowed to come to the gym with him. She usually went to Jesse’s house, where Rubes would look after both girls for a few hours.

But De Luca had said that it was okay for her to come along, and so he figured, why not?

Fogwell’s was an institution in the Kitchen. All kids deserved to know their own history.

“I’m gonna fight Fogwell himself,” Charlie announced halfway down the block.

“You will not,” Dave told her. “Because I’m not tryin’ to get thrown out before we even get started here, alright?”

Charlie whined.

He ignored it.

This wasn’t the first time he’d been to the gym. Matt Murdock slipped in and out of it when he was in the city and he’d taken the whole team there once or twice. But it was different to be there in the presence of the daytime crew.

Dave felt very small in their presence.

The whole place was full of people pounding bags and swearing and shouting at kids who were tumbling all over the rows of benches set off to the side of the bags.

It was not what Dave had been expecting.

He told the guy at the front that ‘Rudy’ had recommended that he stop by and got a nod and a wave.

“He’s probably upstairs,” the receptionist said. “Go pick a bag, I’ll give him a buzz.”

Charlie refused to join the kids on the benches because apparently that was ‘only for babies, Dad.’ She wanted to hold the bag.

She was not, in one thousand years, holding the bag.

Dave wrapped her hands and let her go at it first to ‘soften it up’ for him.

De Luca caught him adjusting the demon-child’s thumbs before they ended up at the hospital again and laughed.

“Davy-boy, you made it,” he said.

Dave snapped up straight to attention.

“I did,” he said.

De Luca laughed again.

“Relax, kid,” he said. “Damn, you’re tight wound. Don’t worry, we won’t tell no one you’re sleepin’ with the enemy.”

Ahahahaha.

Please don’t.

These people were jacked. Dave was but a kickboxing instructor.

“Here, bub, lemme see what your pops has got,” De Luca said, shooing Charlie out of the way.

And this was the moment of truth.

De Luca seemed surprised when Dave finally laid off the bag. And Dave couldn’t read his expression for a million bucks.

“Uh?” he tried. “Not good?”

De Luca blinked himself back to earth.

“Oh, no,” he said. “It’s just uh, you fight a little like someone I know.”

Please don’t say a mobster.

“Kid used to live around here; name’s Matt Murdock,” De Luca said. “You know him?”

Did—

Did he know him?

QUICK. Answer the question.

You’re takin’ too long.

He’s gonna—

“S’alright if you don’t,” De Luca said. “I was just sayin’. Kid was like one of my own.”

He—

What?

“Yeah, boy fought like the devil like his daddy before ‘im,” De Luca said. “He’s the only one Fogwell lets call him ‘Grandpa.’ He’s about your age, actually. God, I’m old.”

AHAHAHAHAHA.

Please change the subject.

“You’re not that old,” Dave said. “I think I might have heard the name.”

Charlie looked up at him, baffled at the hedging.

He pleaded with her with his eyes not to say a damn word.

“Yeah, he’s somethin’, left here for San Francisco. Didn’t even say good-bye, the little shit,” De Luca sniffed. “Came back last year all ‘I’m gettin’ married’ and I swear to god, he’s picked up some kid. Just between you and me, pal, the old guard here have been talkin’, and we think that someone missed out on the sex ed talk, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

Oh.

Poor Sam.

He wasn’t even there to scream from the mountaintops that Red was a last resort for him at best.

“I’m just sayin’,” De Luca said with a shrug that spoke far more of supreme irritation than nonchalance, “He coulda just told us. I’m just sayin’.”

Any more ‘just sayin’s’ and Diamond De Luca was gonna go find a wall to bury them in.

“Did you, uh, have any feedback?” Dave blurted out as the guy started mumbling.

“Hm?”

“Feedback,” Dave repeated, waving a gloved hand at the bag.

“Oh. Yeah, loads, kid. You got all the muscles and not a damn lick of memory, here, lemme show you.”

Crisis averted.

Thank god.

D2: hey uh, DD?

SM: DAVE

S2: DAVEEEE

S3: DAVE

SM: what’s up man?

D2: nothing I was just trying to get ahold of DD?

BT: He’s trying to get Kirsten to give up her dreams of an indoor office pond rn. Can I help?

SM: I want an indoor office pond

S3: omg same

D2: uh yeah actually could you just tell him I met a guy named De Luca the other day and he might want to give him a call?

BT: de Luca?

D2: yeah

BT: okay sure thing

D2: thanks

BT: I’ll go see if I can get a word in edgewise.

SM: good fucking luck

S2: I hate fish

S3: leave this place and never return

S2: I HATE FISH

DD: WHAT

SM: oh shit that was quick

D2: oh. I was just saying that I met Diamond De Luca the other day?

SM: ?? Who’s that?

DD: oh no

S2: ??????????????

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): who the fuck is that?

DD: are you still with him?

D2: no?

D2: he caught me out fliering and invited me to Fogwell’s

D2: and when I got there he mentioned my stance was like yours and he uh

D2: got a little distracted

DD: what kind of distracted?

D2: He thinks Sam’s your bastard kid

BT: GODDAMNIT

DD: FOR FUCKS SAKE

BT: First Mrs. Jones, now this guy?? TEACH.

DD: These people have zero faith in me I swear to god.

DD: like come ON man. I did sex ed in the same class as Angie he knows I’m too catholic for that shit

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): I looked this man up and he looks like an Italian nate with less hair

SM: wh

DP (´｡✪ω✪｡´): okay you’re right he looks nothing like nate

SM: that

SM: that’s not even slightly helpful, wade, thanks not at all. Hey who’s angie?

DD: long story. Rudy’s daughter

S2: RED YOU FUCKED A BOXERS DAUGHTER?? That’s a million dollar baby man

DD: I

DD: what?

DD: no? Why would I fuck angie she’s like my sister?

S2: oh nvm

SM: 😬😬😬

S3: I am confused ❤

D2: you should probably call him, friend

DD: on it. thanks for the notice

DD: hey what’s your fuckin name again?

S2: f

S3: f

SM: f

D2: It’s Ansel

DD: Adams?

D2: not the photographer. Ansel West.

SM: WEST

S2: OMG

S3: guys don’t

SM: I BET YOURE A SUNSET DAVE

S2: YOU EVER FEEL CALLED TO THE PRAIRIE DAVE???

SM: YOU’RE A&W, DAVE!!

S2: ROOT BEER ROOT BEER

D2: ah yes. Middle school. I remember this feeling.

Dave laid his phone on his chest and stared back up at the ceiling.

It was never dull, this new life he’d settled into.

He said a prayer for Murdock and rolled onto his side.

It was still his goddamn couch.

#fic #inimitable verse #ficlet #team red

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creek-cryptid-deluxe · 3 years ago

Text

Oh man. So I just watched a documentary HBO released. It was fantastic but there's a TON of talk about violence & s*xual assault because it was a documentary about...

Woodstock 99.

Now when this happened I was 14. I liked a lot of those bands & thus watched it on MTV (because back then MTV still played music, although MTV2 played more music up my alley, less pop) so I watched this all happen in real time over the course of 3 days. It was bananas.

The documentary was a lot of footage from the event, interviews with attendees, music journalists, the event creators (who still somehow maintain it was a success & 'not as bad as the media made it out to be'), random staff (security & emt), and some artists.

Now, I must retract a statement made yesterday on my Queen of the Damned rant, as Jon Davis was interviewed on this doc. Jon, I apologize for & retract statements made yesterday. You have cleaned it up & it was good to see you looking healthier than I've seen you look in the better part of 2 decades. Proud of you man. Glad you're flourishing. Sorry I was an asshole yesterday.

Can't say the same for my boy Dexter Holland from The Offspring. I wouldn't have known it was him if not for the text onscreen identifying him. He legit looked like someone made a massive overly tanned balloon caricature of him. Holy shit. And this isn't just some "getting older" weight that most people get. This is like... Don Vito from Viva La Bam (rip) level shit. Like...wow.

Moby was interviewed & they showed footage of his bus coming into the venue and I gotta say... dude is still a pretentious piece of shit. I don't understand how he can have his head so far up his own ass & still be able to speak audibly for cameras. Dude wasn't even that good for his genre, much less in general!

Don't get me wrong, I grew up listening to a ton of different genres. Still do. That's what you get when your dad is a musician & your mom is schizoaffective & your stepmom is an 80s new wave/pop person who loves fucking John Hughes movies. Tons of variety. At the 'height' of his career, I was listening to The Prodigy (RIP Keith Flint♡), Chemical Brothers, Crystal Method, and Daft Punk. But jesus christ Moby was crap.

Moby: fuck you. You're a shit artist & a garbage person. If I ever meet you, you're getting a cane to the nuts just because of who you are as a person. Then probably again for assaulting the public with your crap electronic music. Wanker.

So the present day interviews did just talk about the events of the festival but also things that were happening in the world at the time because a huge part of why it became the shit show it did was that it catered to & drew in a very specific demographic: angry white dudes between 20-25. They probably weren't sure why they were angry but they absolutely fucking were.

So in talking about what was happening at the time they obviously touched on the Clinton/Lewinsky thing, the fears about y2k, and the like.

The best part of this entire documentary for me:

They talked about the napster thing & the stance Lars Urlich from Metallica took on it. There were actually a number of artists who disagreed with his stance. There was footage of a round table style interview with him & Chuck D from Public Enemy. Lars is over there looking pissy while Chuck D was saying "I think this is a great thing because it puts the music back into the hands of the people." The idea being that they can easily share it with friends & it ends up gaining them new fans. Hell, that was the entire basis for Dashboard Confessional's career. Their vocalist has openly stated that if not for sites like Napster, Limewire, & Kazaa, nobody would have ever heard their music.

Cut to an interview with present day Dave Munstaine (formerly of Metallica but has been the front for Megadeth for far longer. He may also be the reason behind my thing for redheaded dude. Hm.) Let me just say, for being a 59 year old rockstar who just survived throat cancer, that man is still fucking gorgeous. And the hair is still long & red, bless him.

Anyway, his interview is my favorite fucking part because this man said something along the lines of:

"I remember back when I was with Metallica trading mixed cassette tapes. That's how we found new music. This isn't different. Why did Lars do what he did? I mean, who knows why someone does something like that. Doesn't he have enough money? I certainly think so..."

Y'ALL. I legit had to pause it & out loud said "BROOOOOOOOO. That is the most serious but legit shade I've ever seen thrown IN MY LIFE."

Then text my dad (because Metallica is his favorite & he tries to tell me all the time how Lars was justified) & didn't quote it but told him the Dave just threw serious fucking shade at Lars for the Napster thing & that he HAS to watch this doc.

His response was: "lol yeah there's definitely no love lost between Dave & Metallica. You hear Megadeth is putting out a new album despite Dave having just recovered from throat cancer?"

(I had not known about the album or the cancer. I hope Dave is doing well. Love him.)

But yes, that was the absolute highlight of my fucking week much less the documentary.

A warning: the low point of the doc is when attendees & journalists are talking about the instances of the aforementioned assaults & they cut to one of the even organizers present day interview & he says:

"I mean, we aren't talking about thousands of instances or even hundreds. There were maybe 50 or so." (At which point I scream "THAT WERE OFFICIALLY REPORTED YOU SCUMBAG!" This was later confirmed for me by an attendee who set up an anonymous site for attendees to report if they had been assaulted at the event so they wouldn't feel alone & have there story heard. There WERE 1000s.) Then he went on to say: "All those women who were walking around topless or wearing body paint, expecting not to be touched, they are partly to blame."

EXCUSE SIR, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ON CAMERA FOR A DOCUMENTARY?!?!

Then he keeps talking about the event was an overall success & blames the artists for riling up the crowd (bruh you booked a load of bands that are angry. Korn. Dmx. Rage Against the Machine. Limp fucking Bizkit. What did you expect them to do? Come out and play fucking folk music? No. Their brand is fucking anger.) & of course the media for 'blowing it way out of proportion & scewing the narrative by only interviewing artists who were upset/angry.'

But every artist who was interviewed in present day was like "Yeah the energy of the crowd was fucking insane & hostile." Artists kept having to begin sets or stop mid-set to be like "Hey man! I'm seeing a lot of chicks getting groped while they crowd surf or out there enjoying the music. That shit is unacceptable. They deserve to enjoy themselves without getting groped. Ladies, if a dude crowd surfs by you, grab his fucking balls! Equality, right ladies?!" (This particular quote was from Dexter Holland mid-set with The Offspring. God love him.)

In short, good doc if you aren't triggered by such things, especially if you watched it in real time back in 99. Absolutely worth it for the Dave Munstaine shade. I'm still reeling about that. Fucking brilliant.

Dave, I know you're nearly my dad's age, but call me. I've loved you since i was like 6 yrs old.

(I also loved Sebastian Bach of Skid Row at the time, but let's keep that on the down low. What can I say, I love musicians with good hair.)

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aceofwhump · 4 years ago

Note

I’m going to share my thoughts about this season of tua I am sorry for the long rant ahead. Holy fuck the Diego whump this season was such a blessing I was a bit disappointed when he was fighting and stuff and seemed fine but then I remembered AHA HES BEEN STABBED also I’m mad that he didn’t even have that much of a limp after the tractor landed on him but STILL also a theme I noticed is the siblings discovering new powers when one is in danger (1/?)

Klaus discovering he can make ghosts corporal when Diego was about to be crushed Diego discovering he can control bullets when he and Five were in danger Five discovering how to go back in time a few seconds because his family got shot ALSO that scene with Vanya and Diego at the end when she puts her head on his shoulder I love his face because it looks like the face someone would make if a kitten curled up on them and you can see just how much he loves her. (2/?)

While I’m going on this aimless rant for no reason THE ELEVATOR SCENE HOT DAMN I love how Five is obviously scared because he doesn’t know anyone else will be there and then the look of surprise/confusion/relief when everyone else gets in and then he smiles and it’s not forced or sarcastic it’s a genuine smile of relief and woavwkshaodhskwbw. And Five and Diego the while season were great I loved how soft Five was to Diego when he found him. (3/?)

Another thing I appreciated was how they didn’t “fix” Harlan. I was rlly worried that with Vanya accidentally giving him some of her powers it would make his autism go away magically and “fix” him and as someone with a touch of autism myself I was so relieved when they didn’t create the message that autism is something that needs to or can be “fixed”. Anyway what did you think about the season deepest apologies for the long aimless rant 😂😂(4/4)

OMG Yes share your thoughts! I don't mind at all!! This got long as well because I have a lot of thoughts lol.

The Diego whump was SO GOOD!! Omg I loved it!! I totally plan on giffing it soon. I too wish that it was more prominent afterwards. That was disappointing. Like he just got stabbed and then he's having sex? BOY! YOU SHOULD BE HURTING! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! And his leg totally would have been hurting him after being TRAPPED UNDER A TRACTOR! But it was still nice in the moment. I just wish it was longer lasting. Sidenote: I loved watching them all protect one another throughout the season. Klaus going back for Allison during the riot, Luther hugging Klaus close during the shootout. Love it.

Ooooh I didn't think about that but you're right! They do find new powers when it involves another sibling. I freaking love that! Cause they all just love each other a lot and it was really prominent this season. I love the growth they all had as a family in season 2. Honestly the sibling interactions this season were my absolute favorite thing about the whole season. They were perfect. There were a ton of great soft family moments as well as great “you’re so stupid” type of sibling moments. And they all felt like actual sibling banter instead of malice. Like Allison, Klaus, and Vanya getting drunk and dancing around the salon, the Diego and Luther dumbass moments like Olga Foroga XD, Five seeing Diego acting crazy and going you know what? maybe i’m just gonna leave you here for a bit, “he shanked your heart”, Allison telling Diego “what are you not gonna say?”, them all piling into the car for Vanya, “$50 bucks if we leave him here” (Diego about Klaus), Klaus and Allison’s reunited hug, Vanya and Diego leaning into each other, Allison laying the blanket over a sleeping Klaus, Luther saying “if anyone makes a fat joke I’m out of here”. I could go on forever. It was just perfect. THE ELEVATOR SCENE!!!! YES!!!! I loved it!! Perfect sibling interactions! I appreciated the sibling stuff so much.

OH MY GOD real quick can I talk about the character and family developments this season!?!?! Cause everyone grew so much and they all grew so much closer and you can really see how much they love each other and it was SO WONDERFUL!!!! Especially with Vanya. In season 1 she was the outsider and they just kind of tolerated her but in season 2 they love her and include her and protect her and she feels loved and included and it’s fantastic. “You’re not alone at the table anymore”. I fucking cried at that line. But okay so Luther. I love Luther. Did in season 1 too. But Luther this season realizes that dad fucked him up and he fucked up and he feels so guilty and angry and he apologizes to Vanya and yells at Reginald and I’M SO PROUD OF HIM! And Diego!! You can tell that some of that therapy he got in the mental asylum actually sunk in cause and he just loves his sibling SO MUCH. I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT THESE IDIOTS WHO ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE SAFE

I too really liked that they didn’t “fix” Harlan. I was worried it was going that route and I would have been pissed if they did that so I’m glad that didn’t happen. I’m very curious to see what happens with him in the next season cause I feel like he’s someway involved with this Sparrow Academy that is now established and I need to know more (EMO BEN!).

OH! Another thing: Allison. Allison’s story this season was one of my favorite things. I’m so glad that they didn’t shy away from the prejudices that African Americans and LGBT people faced in the sixties. When we saw Allison arrive and be chased by those white dudes and she runs into the salon and they women all stand up and protect was so powerful. I love that she meets Ray and gets involved. She’s so fucking strong and I love Allison so much. And the things she, Klaus, and Vanya went through were hard to watch at times but I’m glad the writers included it because it’s important. Poor Klaus being punched by Dave though. That broke my heart.

There were some things that weren’t my favorite (the Swedes could have used some development/background, The Handler got annoying, the music choices were a little disappointing after the jams in season 1 but i loved the backstreet boys, not enough Hazel!) but overall the season was so good and i have so many feelings about it all. SO MANY! Honestly the relationships this season are what made it for me. They were many and they were PERFECT!

#tua spoilers #the umbrella academy spoilers #spoilers #tua season 2 spoilers #tua s2 spoilers #ask #the umbrella academy #tua season 2 #tua #tua thoughts #mod replies #mod post #let-the-whump-commence #long post #this is a queue

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nachohypno · 4 years ago

Text

Nate and Dave Ch. 10

So… I have a boyfriend now.

My first boyfriend, huh. And he’s a werewolf. And according to him, we’re each other’s soulmate.

Lucky guy I am to have found my soulmate so quickly in my life, huh? And there’s people who say that high school romances won’t last. I mean… Anything could happen but he and I are made for each other or something like that?

Dave did seem a lot more affectionate know that we’re officially dating, and that’s pretty nice. He was driving towards my house, and I thought it would be pretty nice to have him at my place tonight. Our first night together as boyfriends, huh.

Sounds nice to think about it.

The jock couldn’t help but smile each time I looked at him, and again, he took any chance he had to stop the car and look at me with loving eyes.

“What?” I asked, as we were about to arrive at my house.

“N-Nothing, it’s just that…” He stopped talking for a while to concentrate on the road, and take the last turn. “I’m just so happy to be your boyfriend, bro”

Who would think that big mean Dave is actually a piece of cake on the inside? Bah, the soulmate bond made him act like this but I’m not going to complain, he’s still an amazing guy.

He stopped in front of my house and turned the car off. “You really want me to spend the night with you? I can give you space if you want, babe. You don’t have to feel forced to anything—”

“It’s still, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I didn’t want you around” I said, trying to give him my best smile to reassure him.

Dave nodded, and we left the car. He ran around it and stopped next to me, then placed his arm around my shoulder, but this time he managed to control his strength to avoid putting extra pressure on my body.

He was getting better at controlling himself, huh!

We entered my house, and walked straight to my room. House alone again, we had to make the most of our time together.

The puppy boy followed me with a dumb grin, probably waiting for me to say something to him. He came a while ago, but I could tell by his bulge that he was horny and out for another round already.

“What do you wanna do, bruh?” Dave asked, after we entered in my room. I closed the door behind me, for safety reasons, and walked up to him. The jock was incredibly excited, and his eyes darted around with much more energy than he usually seemed to have.

This had become a habit for me by now, with Dave around a lot of the time at my room or myself going with Dave to his place and spending the night. It was a nice thing, and I felt like it wouldn’t get old soon. It would probably be easier at university…

I did have an urge to tell him to strip all his clothes and just stay there for me to admire him. It was weird, but at the same time, it wasn’t? I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like a dominant side of me just appeared lately and I was okay with it.

It’s not like an urge to mistreat Dave or hurt him, but more like use my bond with him for more… close action, if that makes sense?

I did feel a bit bad for using him like that while he declared his love for me, again. But at the time it was like something natural to do. Like it was right for me to play with my puppy boy.

“Uhm… Wanna play for a while?” I said, nervousness returning to my voice.

“Say no more” He grabbed me from the back and the legs and lifted me. Then, Dave carried me over to my bed, and softly left me on the edge. After that, the jock kneeled in front of me and held his hands like a pleading puppy, looking up at me with his tongue lolling out.

“I meant the ps4 but… this’ll work too. Just like when the day we met…” I whispered, looking down at him and softly caressing his face. He looked really cute when he was zoned out like this. “Hey boy, paw” I said, holding my hand out for him.

The jock placed his own hand on top of mine. I grabbed it and pulled him closer “Geez, you’re heavy…!” I mumbled, trying to move him to lay down with me. He seemed to hear me out, because his body suddenly started to be as easy to move as a big rag doll. “Oh… that’s better. Thanks, puppy boy”

“I really gotta have better control of my weight, babe. My mind just gets sorta fogged when we speak and I just want to be your good puppy boy, so that messes me up a bit” He managed to say, before starting to pant with his tongue out. He was really happy, that part was obvious.

“It’s okay, alpha pup. Just relax and rest for a while, alright?” I kissed his forehead before getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed “…And sleep, can you do that for me?”

He nodded with excitement, before quickly dozing off. “Anything for… youu… bruh…”

He’s amazing, I’ll give you that. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and I’m really nervous about this, but at the same time it’s not like I have any choice on the matter. He’s my soulmate, I love him and he loves me too. Yeah, he’s sort of… forced to do it via some weird supernatural thing, but it’s not a bad supernatural thing.

He enjoys it, according to him.

I sighed. ‘This is too much to think about. Werewolves? Real. Soulmates? Also real. A werewolf claiming that I’m his soulmate, and me falling in love with him some days afterwards? Triple real.

I mean, it wasn’t a real game changer. When Dave revealed his werewolf nature, it was a really unexpected thing. How can you ever expect a classmate who has been around for probably a year and a half and never talked to you to declare his love for you, multiple times, after he smells you while passing by?

I looked at Dave, who was snoring as he slept on my bed. The guy is perfect. He’s handsome, has amazing powers, every girl or gay dude would lust after his perfect frame, and a bright future ahead of him if he manages to enter the NFL.

‘I’m doing good so far’ I told myself, reassuring me that being with him was the right thing to do. I loved him, after all. And according to his Mr. Walker, if I broke Dave’s heart it could be devastating for the poor werewolf jock. I didn’t want that to happen, and god bless my head for making me fall over for the alpha puppy.

In reality, Dave was improving a lot with his studies in such a short time. If he keeps going like this, he’ll also get good chances of going to a really nice university.

My grades are good, mostly because I don’t like social reunions to spend the time at, so I either play games all day or study for fun. It’s a nice habit I’ve developed over the years, and always thought it was something nice to have.

My diverse interests in different careers proved it, I had a love for learning and I can’t get enough of it. Let it be enemy attack patterns or strategies for videogames or how to build a bird’s house for the garden, if I don’t feel lazy and have the time to do it, I’ll do it.

My friends seemed to adapt very well to the idea of me and Dave being closer these days, even after meeting less than two weeks ago.

Dave’s friends… Almost all of them, including his ex-girlfriend, seem to be pretty amazing! I still have to personally meet the football team without dying on the inside, but Leslie was a start, right?

“Hey, puppy boy?” I said, softly tapping his shoulder.

He opened his eyes, quickly. Oh, that was faster than I expected. “Yeah, bruh?” He sounded sleepy, but not zoned out at all. He wasn’t in a trance right now. I looked at my phone’s time, he’s been asleep for like 15 minutes now.

“How was that nap?” I asked, and Dave smiled at me.

“Honestly, I would’ve preferred to sleep with you. But being near you is enough for me to be happy, my love” He’s cheesy. He’s not like this normally, just for me.

But I liked it a lot. “Aww, such a cute puppy boy you are” I placed my hand near his ear, and he playfully started to move his head, probably wanting me to scratch his sweet spot again.

I did just that, and he started with that motor-like sound again. His blue eyes looked up at me with such adoration, like a dog looking at his owner. The varsity jacket around his torso made him look way cuter than he credited it.

“You’re simply amazing, bro” He said, then leaned in towards me to give me a quick smooch on the lips. “Something on your mind, or should we just cuddle like we always do?”

“Hmm… I was thinking we could play something on the ps4 but…”

“I mean; I love video games as long as I play with ya. Besides, I love beatin’ your beautiful ass in COD” He proudly interrupted me. Huh, so that’s how it’s going to be?

“But… why don’t we go take a walk instead?” I finished, getting up from the bed and walking over to the closet. I opened it and there was the dog leash, hanging beside a few belts.

After grabbing the leash, Dave got up and went to his school bag, grabbing the bowser collar and then moving over to me. “Where are we going today, babe? Oh, wait. I have to change into wolf form first, right? Gimme a sec”

But I shook my head. “I have something else in mind. It’s still quite early so… why don’t we go to the forest again?” I knew he loved the forest. I didn’t like being outside at night, but it was still sort of sunny outside so… Let’s make the most of the time, right?

The jock nodded, grabbing the leash from my hands and putting it alongside his collar inside his school bag.

I liked he wasn’t completely careless about his werewolf status and thought about hiding those things until we were completely alone at the forest. He’s smarter than he seems.

I went closer and gave him a long, nice kiss, which he seemed to enjoy a lot, before we walked outside of my room and headed to his car.

-----

The forest normally? Cold. Empty and scary. Especially now since it’s almost 6 p.m.

Dave probably loved this, and the god rays going through the leaves of the tall trees and illuminating the path was really nice to see.

I’ve never been a fan of camping, so it would probably be some time until I proposed something like spending the night at the forest with Dave. I felt safe with him though, so I really shouldn’t worry about little stuff like that?

“Arrived, should I change now?” Dave said, stopping the car near the usual spot. The nice part of the forest in fall/almost winter is that it’s actually really empty. People prefer hanging out at the cafeteria, the library or the park.

Staying at home isn’t a really bad idea neither, so it wasn’t weird to see a few of my classmates in social media posting pics while playing games or joking around with their friends.

Staying at home with Dave… It definitely was good, but we only played COD (Where he beats my ass) or cuddle and take long naps together. Not even having sex as a regular thing, since Dave still hadn’t fucked me. I also contemplated the possibility of fucking him too, but I couldn’t tell if he would like that.

At one side, he had to do everything I said without a chance of resisting, so he would be blissful about it. On the other side, Dave has stated that he’s not gay, so I’m really not absolutely sure if he really enjoys being with me, but then goes back to his old ‘I hate fags’ self.

Those little insecurities crossed through my mind multiple times a day, especially when I’m with him around. It’s definitely something I have to work on if I want this to work out for both of us.

I shook my head “Not now. I’ve got an idea, but let’s head to one of your safe spot first, puppy boy”

“A’ight, bruh” Then we left the car. He grabbed his bag, and I took a deep breath. I grew used to being here the last few days we’ve come together.

“Oh, and Dave?” Before he could turn towards me and ask me something, I finished with a “Could you turn into a werewolf?”

Just me ‘asking for it’ was enough, apparently. Dave nodded excitedly as he always does when I ask him for something, then stood still with his eyes zoned out.

I looked around, just to be sure we were alone, as Dave’s body changed drastically to his werewolf form. The snout was back, his eyes were bigger and his ears were on top of his head, like a normal wolf.

His body, now covered in fur, grew a few inches as usual. Curiously, his clothes seemed to be pushed to the limit, but he still seemed able to move freely without tearing them apart. And you could also see the shape of his abs and pecs on his shirt.

His bulge also grew a bit, and I poked it with a finger just to see if that would interrupt his transformation. Luckily, it didn’t, but Dave did let out a deep, little “Huhuhuh…” as the transformation continued.

A tail appeared on top of his butt, wiggling left and right rapidly, and his hands grew the wolf pads and nails once again.

A few seconds later, he blinked a few times, before looking at me with a caring smile that showed off a few of his fangs.

“What was that for, bro?” He asked, his voice way deeper than his usual dreamy jock voice. I liked it, but I preferred the old one, to be honest.

“Nothing important, just wanted to see you transforming again” I said, while caressing the spot now behind his wolf ears. ‘Wonder how the magic works to shift his audition system to the ears of the top after the human ears disappear’.

I would love to learn more about supernatural creatures, but I really doubt that’s a career you can follow once you join a university. It’s not like there’s a sort of Hogwarts out there for supernatural creatures, right? Would be funny if…

Hmm… Now that I think of it, it’s not really that impossible if there are actual supernatural creatures out there.

“Well, now that I’m in wolf form…” He reached out for his bag and grabbed the bowser collar. “Can we please go for a walk? It was really fun the last time!”

He broke me out of my thoughts, but it was alright. I liked last time too, although he wasn’t really in werewolf form. I wanted to see his wolf form in action, but it would

I nodded, and grabbed the collar from his hands as he straightened his neck for me to put it on him. I tried to buckle it on the usual spot so he could move freely without feeling too restrained.

After that was done, he passed me the leash from his bag and I attached it to the collar.

“Want me to carry you? I’d love to do that so you don’t get tired, bro” Aw, such a cute puppy.

“Nah, it’s alright. I should do some exercise too. Besides, I like having the leash of the situation” I said mockingly, as I lifted the hand with the hang of the leash.

The werewolf nodded “Yeah, well joke’s on you. I actually like when you have the leash”

I chuckled “Okay, puppy boy. C’mon, let’s do the walk before it gets dark and cold out here”

Dave didn’t complain, as we started walking away from the car and into the forest.

The only sound breaking the silence was our steps crushing brown leaves under our shoes, and Dave’s werewolf nose sniffing a lot, probably to recognize as many smells as he could?

We kept going like that for a good while, probably 15 minutes or so. It was relaxing, just us, together, walking in the forest like nothing mattered. Like a dog and his owner.

“Y’know, tomorrow’s the big game, bro. I know we’ve talked about this already but i’m not gonna force you to go and cheer me up.” He said, breaking the silence as he stopped walking and turned around to face me “I’d really appreciate it if you were there for me. Like, a lot, bro”

Dave grabbed my hand and moved it towards his chest, waiting for my answer while giving me puppy eyes.

“Pretty please? For me, bro? I’ll do anything you want afterwards, promise!” He insisted.

I smiled “Hey, the team is also sort of expecting me to be there, right?” He nodded “Then, if I want to help you with your plan of slowly coming out, wouldn’t it be easier if I helped you with that, as you originally planned?”

Werewolf Dave seemed mildly confused by the logic. He had a thoughtful expression and rubbed his snout a bit.

I softly pulled from the leash attached to his collar, breaking him from his train of thoughts. “Hey!” I pulled again, and he smirked “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?” Then he got in four legs, clenched his knees, and jumped towards me.

I didn’t have enough time (Nor reaction skill) to avoid him. We fell to the ground, Dave on top of me with a blissful expression on his face. I looked at him, and he took the chance to lick my face just like a few days ago. It was like a big, way stronger than me-dog was trying to give me some love.

“Uh— Dave— Not— again…!” I tried to say, as he covered me with slobber once again. I managed to reach his sweet spot and started scratching it, making him stop licking my face immediately and getting off me, rolling to the side with his arms and legs extended and his tongue lolled out.

I cleaned my face with my sleeve and sat beside him. Then, I started rubbing his belly like I would to a real dog before he could go back to licking my face. “Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy, David?” I said with a childish voice.

“I am! I am a good boy, bro!” He responded, panting. “I’m your good boy!” His leg was kicking the air as I rubbed his belly and I honestly found that adorable.

“Oh, really?” He got up and kneeled in front of me, nodding rapidly with his tongue still lolling out, and still panting. “Let’s see… roll!”

He did as I said, his tongue going back inside of his mouth as he laid down on the floor and started rolling like a dog, just like he dared me to do a few days ago. ‘Sweet revenge’ I thought, as I remembered that little moment.

“Talk!” I ordered him, and then Dave stopped rolling and got back on his knees, holding his ‘paws’ out while barking. “Good boy! Now, chase your tail!”

He got in four legs, and looked behind him. He growled at the tail behind him and started barking as he tried to catch it.

His tail, however, didn’t seem amused by Dave’s attempts to catch it. So, the puppy boy was struggling a lot with following that order. But it was alright, he was an amazing puppy boy.

“I was joking! You can stop now!” I said, before he hurt himself or anything.

Dave got back to kneeling in front of me, waiting for any other command. ‘Just one more thing won’t hurt, right?’ I thought, as I grabbed a fallen branch on the ground. I showed it to Dave, and he followed it with his eyes as he panted in excitement. “You want it, boy? Go get it!”

I threw the branch towards a nearby tree with some flowers on its base. The werewolf ran after it with a lot of determination, before stopping on his tracks in front of the tree.

Confused after he kept staring the flowers, I walked up to him and asked “What’s wrong, puppy boy?” wondering what was going on.

“Nothing, bro” He said, still very focused on the flowers. He broke out of the puppy role by now, going back to the big handsome jock. He leaned in and audibly smelled the flowers. “It’s just… Wolfsbane, can’t touch that”

Hmm… I remember hearing about it. But Dave seemed to notice my puzzled face, so he proceeded to explain it to me. “It’s a toxic plant, bro. I’ve seen it a few times, the bitch grows in a lot of places, even when internet claims it only grows in mountains”

He threw a look of hate to the plant, before covering one of his hands with the sleeve of the varsity jacket, and slowly getting closer to it. Then, he grabbed the stick I just threw and passed it to me. “Here. The smell is really bad, so let’s just move away from it and grab another stick, a’ight?”

I was mildly surprised that he found another way of fulfilling my order of ‘Go get the stick’, even when it was surrounded by dangerous plants.

I nodded, throwing the stick away before grabbing the hang of the leash again and walking with him to another part. “Are you alright?” I asked him, as we walked in complete silence. I was sort of hoping him to tell me a dark story about wolfsbane and him but apparently that wasn’t the case.

“Yeah, sorry. Got lost in thoughts there. That shit’s smell is really awful, bro. Makes me wish I didn’t have heightened smell!” He finished with a deep laugh.

“It’s alright, we can keep playing at another place. Would you like that, puppy boy?”

He looked at me, excitement coming back to him. “Yeah! Can’t wait to catch that branch this time! I love you so much for playing with me, bro!” Huh, he really takes any chance he has to tell me he loves me.

Not gonna complain though, I really loved it.

----

It was already after school of the next day, and I was nervous, as always.

Is it weird to say that I’ve never been at a football game during my whole life? I don’t think so.

High school football games aren’t mandatory (Luckily) but our professors encourage us to attend to keep our school spirit as high as possible. And honestly I’ve never noticed how many people were into this thing.

Lots of parents and families walked over to the football field, as the bus from today’s rival team parked near our school.

A bunch of “BOOOOOS” Could be heard from the people as they passed beside the bus.

“Hey nerd” Someone said behind me. I turned around, hoping to see my good playful puppy boy. But instead, I was greeted by Butch’s frown.

I looked around, searching for my knight in shining armor as Butch took a step closer to me. I was surrounded by people, he wouldn’t be so stupid to try something against me in public, right?

“Hey Butch—” I tried to say, but he interrupted me right away.

“Listen, I don’t want any of your shenanigans” What the hell was he talking about? He’s the one who approached me. “I’ve talked with my bro last night, and even if I still think you’ve made some weird fag shit to him, we’ve reached an agreement”

Huh, that was interesting. “What was it about?”

“The game” He explained, looking around and lowering his voice. “You probably have a lot of options for universities, being a nerd and all that. Wouldn’t be surprised if you even clung to that lgbt shit to get free benefits”

That was pretty rude, and I was sort of amazed how he managed to turn his attempt of an explanation to a way of insulting me. “But me and a few mates from my team know that we’ll only get an scholarship if we play like gods during this last year. So, big D and I talked yesterday and teamed up again, like things were before you showed up”

“It’s not like I really did anything, you could just try and chill out a bit” I said, getting a little fed up by his asshole behavior.

He clenched his fist and took another step closer, but then backed again and relaxed “Don’t be so cocky, I ain’t gonna hold back when my bro is done with playing around with ya”

I gulped, then nodded. “If that was all, I think you should head over to the locker room. Your team should be waiting for you” I replied, pretty coldly. He gave me a rough pat on the shoulder before beginning to walk away. “And good luck on the field!” I said, after he took a few steps away, heading to the school.

I couldn’t tell if he heard me or anything, until he gave me the middle finger without looking back. ‘Geez, what a dickhead’ I thought, as someone else patted my shoulder again.

“I hope he wasn’t too aggressive with you, bro. We’ve chatted last night and—” I turned around and found Dave, his hair was a big messier than usually and he had a gym bag. He looked nervous, but also really excited. And I wondered if he ran out of the gym before coming here.

“I know, he told me about it. He was… decent, I guess” I shrugged it off, it’s not like I care about Butch anyway. I forgot how it was being afraid of a jock, probably because of all the time I was spending with the werewolf now.

“Wish I could kiss you right now, for good luck” Dave said, scratching the back of his head. I noticed he was blushing, and looked around a lot.

I grabbed his hand, and ran towards the side of the school’s main building. No one seemed to be around here, so it was a safe place. “Anyone around, puppy boy?”

He looked around, and I noticed he seemed to be pointing his ears as he moved his head to face other parts of the building. “Nope, we’re safe here” but before I could do anything, he was the one who kissed me.

I kissed him back, happy to give him the ‘good luck kiss’ he wanted. He pulled away quickly, probably to avoid drawing attention.

“Thanks, bruh. I’ll do my best to win that game for you, don’t wanna disappoint the love of my life while you’re watching me out there” He said, blushing a bit and looking away nervously. He seemed really worried about this.

I caressed his face, then quickly reminded myself that we’re on public and then patted his shoulder. He seemed confused about this, but I decided to speak before things got more confuse.

“You should go to the locker room too. The rivals just arrived so it’s only a matter of time until the game begins”

Dave seemed a bit disappointed, but agreed with me “Yeah… I was just making time to be around you a bit more. You’re just so handsome that I couldn’t resist, bruh” He said, before looking at the field’s direction.

“It’s okay, I know you’ll do great, big alpha guy” I gave him another pat “C’mon, it’s going to start in any moment and you still don’t have your uniform on”

He nodded, before giving me a quick smooch on the cheek. “Gonna need more luck, but I’m not going to disappoint you, bro!” Then he ran off to the locker room.

I walked back to the front of the school, and noticed Sam standing near the entrance. I walked over to him, wondering if the president had a special seat or something at the bleachers.

----

The game was over, and as I suspected, we won.

The rival team played fair, I guess. I don’t really know how football works, but the local team didn’t seem too mad while they played.

Dave was as amazing as I’ve seen during the practice after we’ve first met. And being in the bleachers, barking like a crazy dog each time our team did something great felt pretty awesome. Again, I couldn’t tell when that happened so Dick had to give me a Football 101 class as the match played out.

He also noted how good my puppy boy was at the game, moving with perfect agility and trying to synchronize himself with his teammates capabilities, rather than them being able to catch up with him. “I really don’t like your friend, but hell if he’s a great player. Looks like the Messi of American football, just dumber and not really likeable”

“He’s been trying to be nicer lately. It was nice when… you know, I stopped being afraid of him. Not being worried about having your head slammed to a table is nice” I said, trying to ease him into the thought of me dating Dave. If that ever happened to come up at the chat.

“I know you and ‘im have been… closer lately. I’m not going to give ya the usual shit of ‘be careful’ and bla bla bla. Just be honest, is somethin’ happenin’ between you two?” Dick looked at me, not with a worried face but more like a curious stare. Like he was trying to figure out what was on my mind.

I nodded slowly as we both got up from our seats and started walking out of the field. “Don’t tell anybody, alright?”

He made a movement like he was zipping his mouth, and said “Your secret is safe, lil’ bruh. He’s your first… thing, right?” I nodded again “Then hell, just enjoy and have a great time. Don’t worry about other fuckers meddling in if he really chose you to explore his sexuality or whatever”

It was nice to hear that from a friend. Although he did sound sort of dismissive, and he disappeared into the crowd before I could answer. That was great though, because I had the intention of going to congratulate my boyfriend.

The football team was still on the field, doing victory dances while the more mature guys chatted with the rival team, saying stuff like ‘It was a good game, you guys rocked out here’, trying to be nice winners.

I honestly preferred Dave’s approach to winning, he was howling to the sky a lot and yelling “HELL YEAH! WE WOOOOOOOON!” but it was probably because I knew that howling was a natural thing for him. The rival team just stared at him with hatred in their eyes, while trying to stablish a chat with the members of the local team that were actually interested in not winning but having fun.

It was clear that Dave never got that lesson from Disney during his childhood.

I waited for him and the team to leave the field, hoping I could catch him before heading home, but he suddenly started sniffing the air and looked in my direction.

I blushed, and remained there. He gave me a wink before making a showing me the palm of his hand, probably telling me to stop here and wait for him.

A few minutes later, the jocks from both teams left the field. The local team went back to the locker room to get changed and shower, while the rival team went to their bus, back to their own town.

Dave approached me before heading to the locker room and quickly said “Did you watch the game, bro? How was I?!”

He probably still had a lot of adrenaline, but he did play amazingly. “Very great job out there, big guy!” I answered him, after checking out we were effectively alone. There were a few parents about to leave the scene so it was me and him all by ourselves.

He seemed proud of my answer, and held his chest out. “Hey, my team wants to go celebrate to a dinner and eat a lot of burgers but…” He placed his big hand on my cheek, softly moving his thumb around. “I’d really rather celebrate just with you, my love”

I smiled “Sure. I actually have an idea for a reward. I didn’t want to say it before, to avoid making you… you know, play harsher with your powers, hah. But why don’t we go to my room again? I think you’ll really like this idea” I whispered, just in case anyone was near enough to hear us.

Dave’s eyes showed more excitement than before, and he nodded frantically. “Give me a few minutes! Gotta return the school’s armor before heading out and I’ll drive us there!”

He waited for me to nod, before running away at an impressive speed. As I said, I waited for him and he came back with his gym bag and his varsity jacket, ready to go.

It looked like the puppy boy wanted to lift me up and run at all speed towards my house, but he tried to contain himself pretty well.

This was going to be amazing.

----

Back at my place, I knew mom would be out for at least one or two hours more.

Dave seemed like a beast doing the best he could to contain himself. He anxiously tapped the car’s wheel every time we reached a traffic light, and he ran out of the car and locked it with his key as soon as I stepped out.

He could perfectly grab me, break my house’s door with a kick, then do a long shot with me to upstairs just so save up more time, but I don’t think the big guy would do that because I could end up hurt.

Once in my room, he almost ripped off all of his clothing. Luckily, almost. I was impressed by this energy boost he was having, even more since we were about to… do the dirty a few days ago, and he didn’t seem nearly as excited as he was now.

Probably because he had an awful day back then? Today must have been a rush because of the football game. Classes were pretty vague already with most of the professors rambling and letting us free class time to do other works or just chill out before the game.

“Ready for action, bro!” He said, striking a pose in all his naked glory. His hard cock was twitching and leaking a bit of pre already.

I took my time and fully undressed in front of him. He followed every movement I did with cautious precision, like a predator looking over for his prey. If he was in werewolf form at the moment, I bet he would stick his tongue out at every moment.

I walked towards him, only separated by a few inches. He leaned in and kissed me in a sort of nice way, as he always did. A few times, he would break the kiss and breath quite heavily. “Uh… I’m really horny now, bro… Do you… do you really want it? I’m not going to force you to—“

“Yeah,” I interrupted him before he started with the usual ‘You’re the boss here’ speech. “Yeah, let’s get on with this”

He nodded, and lifted me up from the floor. The horny werewolf walked over to my bed and gently left me on top of it, facing my mattress. “Never rimmed a guy before” He said, chuckling nervously “Can’t be too different from a chick’s ass”

I let out a little sigh, trying to relax myself, as Dave pushed my butt cheeks and started licking my hole.

It felt weird.

I mean, it felt kind of good, I guess? But also knowing that his tongue was doing that… I think I would have preferred if he just spat on his hand and inserted his fingers, like I saw on some videos. Too late to back out now, right?

Dave was the expert on sex so… he knows how to make it hurt less, I assume.

After a few minutes doing that, the jock got up and walked towards his gym bag. I moved to look at him, and noticed he took out a condom from one of the bag’s pockets. “You always carry condoms around?” I asked, honestly curious.

The werewolf shrugged “I’m always up for having sex, have that in mind” He replied, with a wink.

‘I’ll do, don’t worry’ I thought, as he ripped the condom’s envelope and placed the thing around his cock.

“Now, the important part…” He started in a really serious voice, getting in position behind me. I could feel him aligning his cock to have a clear entrance to my ass “If it hurts, or you’d like to make any request, don’t hold back. I want you to enjoy this as much as I will, and you’re my priority, bro”

Dave leaned in to kiss my back, then went up and kissed my neck softly. “Understood?” He finished, as I felt his cock pressing against my hole.

“Y-Yes, let’s do this already” I answered.

He chuckled, and kept giving me little kisses, probably to distract me. His cock was already sliding in. “God, you’re so tight…” He whispered near my ear “I love it…”.

I won’t lie, it felt good so far. Barely any pain at— OH, SON OF A BITCH!

‘It’s okay! I can handle it! It just hurts at the beginning!’ I told myself, as Dave finished going all the way in, and started thrusting in and out quite slowly at first.

The pain diminished little by little as he kept fucking my ass. I was worried his cock might be too big for my virgin ass, but it was good so far. I barely felt any pleasure though, it was just like a very weird thing.

And then, Dave touched the sacred spot. I let out a moan, and Dave said “Huh, good to know that”, probably referring that he just found my prostate. After that, it felt like heaven. The werewolf’s movements were perfect, and even if he barely moaned now, I could tell he was enjoying it.

I was tempted to order him to turn into a werewolf, but if his dick grew inside of me like it did when he transformed, I would probably be in a lot more pain that I was a few moments ago. And the condom would probably break too.

After a few more minutes of Dave fucking me, he pulled his cock out. Then, he turned me around with his impressive strength, and lifted me by the butt. I surrounded him with my legs, as he positioned me again on top of his cock and slowly made me go downwards on it.

Now we were facing each other as he fucked me, and we took the chance to make out, only interrupted by our moans from time to time.

This was amazing, he was amazing, everything was amazing.

“I could last all night if you wanted me to, bro…” He whispered, in between pants. Now that he mentioned it, I could feel myself getting closer to blowing a load. “Just tell me when you want me to cum, a’ight?”

I nodded, and he kept making me go up and down on his cock. The pain was long forgotten by now, and I felt it sliding perfectly in my hole.

Then, I came on top of him, as he sat down on my bed still holding on to me.

I was extremely disappointed by how quickly I came, but Dave’s cock still felt good inside of me. But…

“Cum” I told him, and he didn’t waste a second. His eyes unfocused for a bit, as his cock exploded inside of my ass. Afterwards, we both fell on my bed, facing each other.

His cock was still inside of me, and I was sure he would get hard again if I ordered it.

But my first time had been amazing so far, so maybe this was enough for today?

Dave smiled at me, leaning in to give me a kiss. I kissed him back, wondering how could I live so far without this beefcake around. Everything was so different unlike two weeks ago, where I would look forward to senior year ending so I could stop hiding from the mean big jocks.

“I love you…” Dave whispered after the kiss was over, looking at me with adoration in his eyes. “I hope I did good during your first time”

And now, I didn’t want it to end at all. Everything was so perfect right now.

“It was, puppy boy. Thanks for it… and I love you too” I managed to say, glad that my stutter didn’t ruin the moment. And glad that I had a werewolf soulmate.

-----

Chapter 11 isn’t available yet, but feel free to check out my Patreon for the first chapter of my next story!

#nate and dave #straight to gay #mind control #gay hypnosis #hypnotized #brainwashing #brainwashed

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sedehaven · 4 years ago

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Saving Ophelia Grace’s Toe

Y’all seem to like my stories about being a witch in the Bible Belt, so here’s another one. This is a coming of age story about a young witch (me), a bunch of adults of various degrees of uselessness, and Ophelia Grace’s rotten toe.

This is not a happy story.

Names changed when necessary.

CW: Body squick, graphic injury, incompetent nurse, malevolent nurse, poisoning, bureaucratic nightmares, dark DARK shit ahead

So, in spite of the crushing poverty that I grew up in, I was given the opportunity to attend a very prestigious boarding school for Juniors and Seniors in Klan Kountry, LA. It’s a public school, so it takes kids from all over the state.

My school was run by a dude named Brother Dave.

Brother Dave was so awful that one of our senior pranks (I DID NOT DO THIS) involved a password-protected screensaver on every communal computer in the school (including, I think, Brother Dave’s office computer) of a bouncing, 3-D image of this:

Dude was NOT well-loved. It is important to know that he and I did not get along. When I was still a prospective student, he told us that our mascot was the mighty Eagle, because Eagles Flock Together.

Y’all. Someone watched himself too much Mighty Ducks.

I replied, loud enough for the whole auditorium to hear, “That’s not true, sir. Eaglettes push their smaller and weaker siblings out of the nest as soon as they can.”

He looked to the staff for support, red-faced and embarrassed by this ninety-pound child who stole his thunder.

The biology teacher (who left for greener pastures after my first year--rumored to have been forced out for being too fabulously dykey for the new administration) looked at him and stated, in her very particular and crisp fashion, “Well, she’s right.”

Safe to say, he hated me from the start. So, if you read this and you wonder, “Why didn’t this silly kid just go to the grown-up?” That’s why. He was our grown-up.

Brother Dave started at the school the year before I did. He was brought in by a local Senator, because said local Senator Fucked Up Colossally.

Senator Fuckup was running against Mr. Sketchy Businessman. Mr. Sketchy Businessman was backed by the Ku Klux Klan (a big deal in parts of the world, folks. My school was in David Duke country.)

Senator Fuckup had a fancy name--well-respected all around the state. Like, several statues of one of his relations decorate the state capital. Big name.

Problem is, Senator Fuckup is half-Black.

In Klan Kountry.

Y’all.

So he’s already at a disadvantage. As it turns out, it takes a village to start a magnet school. Senator Fuckup was one of the founding board members, and promised all kinds of benefits if they put the school in HIS district.

Their other offer was in my own hometown, the Hub City, where several of our major state highways cross with two Interstates.A place with art and history and culture. A place with one of the largest outdoor music festivals in the state--a multicultural, international music festival! With art walks and museums and Mardi Gras parades! With a three-story library, a library for French language and culture, and the second-largest university in Louisiana!

Senator Fuckup PROMISED that the school wouldn’t want for anything if they went to Klan Kountry.

So they did.

It was no great secret that this school was Senator Fuckup’s baby. At the time that I attended, the school was number one in the nation. Something to be proud of.

Except.

Except that in order to keep various forms of funding, the school was required to take in more melanin-blessed individuals than the locals liked.

Enter Mr. Sketchy Businessman, who ran a series of TV and radio ads claiming that our STATE funded school was stealing money from the local school district.

That’s right. He claimed that our school took money away from the poor Whites of Klan Kountry and gave to the diverse and metropolitan school for the gifted.

Senator Fuckup tried to deflect and dismiss, BUT did NOT rebut those claims. He didn’t believe that the school’s funding was THAT MUCH of an issue.

Any reasonable person would understand that the school was funded from the State taxes. Right?

As it turns out, Klan Kountry is not filled with reasonable people.

Senator Fuckup is a member of a particular subgroup in Klan Kounrty--a not-insignificant population of Catholic Creoles. So, after he wins his election--barely--he realizes that Something Must Be Done to help the image of the school that everybody knew as HIS baby.

Enter his old friend, Brother Dave. Brother Dave, who nearly bankrupted his previous school. His brother-in-law was a contractor who got a few really juicy contracts through him.

Protip: Nepotism only works if the person being nepotized is competent.

Spoiler: Brother Dave’s brother-in-law built schools about as well as Brother Dave ran them.

Brother Dave’s old school is attached to an order of monks who build cheap and simple caskets for people who are into that kind of thing.

They bake bread for the poor. These are good people.

Y’all, these people made it KNOWN--statewide--that they had a casket ready for ol’ Dave if he ever stepped foot in their town again.

Still, Senator Fuckup decided that THIS was the man who would lead my school into a glorious future.

Brother Dave took an aggressive stance on admissions. He wanted kids who didn’t have a lot of drama, and kids who looked (WHITE) good on the recruiting materials. He pulled hard from the local Catholic (Segregation) Academies.

Y’all.

Our Black kids were nearly White-passing mixed-race kids, one kid who was ACTUALLY from Africa, a couple of kids from Catholic schools, and one dark-skinned Baptist girl who is bombshell model-gorgeous. (For those glossy brochures.)

So as many White Catholic kids as possible.

Y’all.

I’ve competed with private school fuckwits in academic contests my whole life, up to that point. If it was something that required preparation (science fair, for example), they wiped the floor with us.

Because daddy the petroleum engineer did the project for them.

If it was a you-know-it-or-you-don’t thing (quiz bowl, for example), they lost so brutally that I might have felt bad for them. You know, if they had souls. Which they did not.

So Brother Dave populated our school with what he thought were “good kids”. White, Catholic kids.

Spoiler: My class started with 250 students. We graduated less than half of that, even after he backfilled our class with new kids between junior and senior year. The class after mine was worse.

Why is that?

White Catholic kids at segregation academies in the late 90′s basically did busy-work worksheet stuff all day. They were not ready for 10 page papers and 5 page lab reports and 100+ pages of reading and 20-50 math problems and projects, projects, projects!

Also, if all you do is worksheets and sit-down-and-shut-up, there has to be a certain...chemical element...to cope.

So, yeah. Drugs. So much drugs. And booze.

Brother Dave also hired Nurse Bitchy Fuckface. She was actually his first hire.

Nurse Bitchy was a walking disaster.

I was sixteen when I first met her, and because she didn’t smell like street drugs (I KNOW WHAT THAT SHIT IS), I missed a lot of signs.

Looking back, I think that she might have been a Prozac-and-wine kind of person. But, as the only drugs that I was familiar with came from street pharmacists, I thought she was just evil.

Hateful to the queers, pagans, Goths, and all assorted weirdos.

You know, all the kids who could actually handle the schoolwork and the pressure. *eyeroll*

I’m allergic to Sudafed. Weird, huh?

A senior at my school told me to be careful with Nurse Bitchy. She has a sensitivity to acetaminophen (Tylenol) and couldn’t have it. Nurse Bitchy had given it to her a couple of times.

It was on my senior’s medical chart. If you’re keeping score, that’s felony attempted murder.

Nurse Bitchy gave me Sudafed seventeen times (that I remember) while I was at that school. She very nearly killed me doing it. Some times I knew, and some times I did not.

“But why did you take it, if you knew?”

Well, you innocent dove, if I refused to take the medicine that the Nurse gave me, then I got written up. Enough write-ups and I got kicked out.

My home school in the Hub City? Eh...as bad as Klan Kountry was, I didn’t have someone assaulting me daily. I didn’t have a gang of girls who got away with attempting to rape me with a broom handle. I didn’t have a very big kid who was given liberties with me (BY THE STAFF) because he was special ed.

Or, as my guidance counselor liked to say (after my father was murdered and I was flunking chemistry--not because of dad’s death, but because the chemistry teacher put all the girls and Black boys in the back of the class--which had NO air conditioning on hundred-degree days--after Brother Dave’s brother-in-law “fixed” it that summer), “Stephanie, you know that you’re the poorest student here. Do you really want to go back to THAT?”

No. I did not.

Under pain of going home to poverty, rape, assault, and maybe death, I took her poison. She watched me do it. And she smiled.

I only went to Nurse Bitchy when I was forced to. This happened far more often my Junior year. The teachers would send me because I was sick (I come from a smoker’s home, and I’m an asthmatic who is allergic to tobacco. My family never quit, so I’d end up with smoker’s pneumonia most times that I went home. Thanks for the lung scars, fam.)

Eventually, when I was a Senior, my computer science teacher realized that I was unresponsive with a fever in her class. She was new that year, and didn’t know any better. So she woke me up and sent me along. Nurse Bitchy gave me the usual and sent me back to class.

Very few humans retain the ability to projectile vomit after age seven. Did you know that?

Lucky me, I did. I still can.

I hurled all over my keyboard. I hurled and hurled. My classmates screamed and ran.

My computer science teacher, an ice-cold woman of Indian descent with a very posh English accent, unplugged the vomit-soaked, ruined keyboard. She took it and me to the nurse.

She slammed the keyboard down on her desk and screamed at her to NEVER send a sick child to her class again.

Nurse Bitchy was (shocking, I know) a racist. She feared the angry Indian lady.

My computer science teacher, I believe, spread the word about Nurse Bitchy’s ineffectiveness. Teachers stopped sending students to her.

That left a vacuum. Nobody was being forced to get medical help. But medical help was still needed.

Before going to school in Klan Kountry, I was a veterinary technician. I worked under-the-table from too young. Illegal-child-labor-too-young.

But, I knew my stuff. I had a stocked medicine cabinet and a dissection kit.

I started doing everything up to and including prison surgery in my dorm room.

I could handle most anything. Which was better than worrying that the nurse was going to poison one of my friends into the ground.

I didn’t ask for money or food or anything (food was a commodity at that school because our cafeteria was infested). I worked for the goodwill of my classmates, which is the shiniest coin in the realm.

I’d gotten into witchcraft earlier that year. People trusted the witch over the nurse. That’s where my school was.

I only had one case that I really couldn’t treat.

Y’all.

It was traditional in the girls’ dorms that unless you were asleep or studying, you kept your door open. Mine was open that night. I was writing Sailor Moon fanfiction, procrastinating on one project or another. I don’t remember, it was twenty-two years ago.

Ophelia Grace (not her real name) came to my door in Doc Martens, favoring a foot. Her roommate or a suitemate or maybe another theatre kid was holding her up as she hobbled into my room.

I hadn’t heard that she’d been hurt, but apparently she had been. She was feverish and weak. Her face was bright red. She was babbling.

“I’m sorry,” she said over and over again. She apologized for coming late. She apologized for coming at all. She was shaking.

I sat her and her friend on my roommate’s bed (we’d bunked them, and I had the top bunk). My roommate was out, in the art lab working on a particularly tricky painting. Probably for the best. He was squeamish (my ex-roommate is a transman, so I’m using his preferred pronouns.)

I grabbed a large bowl and a mug, filled both with water (salted the bowl of water), and went down the hall to the microwave.

The water in Klan Kountry was filthy. It smelled bad and tasted worse. Remember Mr. Sketchy Businessman? He wanted to relax EPA regulations for himself and his sketchy business friends.

They were actively dumping into the city reservoir. But Mr. Sketchy Businessman promised to KKKeep KKKlan KKKountry Lily, so he got 49% of the votes.

Racist douche.

I boiled the water in the microwave--first the mug, then the bowl. It was a walk I’d make several times that evening.

Ophelia had a fever, holding steady at “fucking HOT” by the estimate of her friend. My thermometer pegged it at 102. Not good.

I put a teabag and two whole cloves in the cup and let it steep while I took her temperature. I asked her what happened. I don’t remember the specifics of the injury, but I believe that something got dropped on her toe. I think it happened in the theatre.

Ophelia thought she could walk it off. I remember that.

She kept apologizing. I honeyed the tea and shoved it in her hands. The tea helped. She was shivering--hard--from the wracking chills of her fever.

I remember how her febrile shivers made the bunk beds shake.

I remember thinking that I was in over my head.

I remember grabbing my oldest towels, and closing my door.

I remember praying.

And then I took her boot off.

Y’all.

I’ve smelled rot. Some people think that all rot smells the same.

It does not.

Corpse stink has its own bouquet. Blood rot has a distinct stench. Necrotic yeast infections almost smell good--like yeast rolls and something meatier.

I’d smelled Ophelia’s particular rot before.

I was fourteen. A momma dog was brought in, heavily pregnant. She’d been delivering, and the third pup got stuck. There were 11 left. The stuck pup was dead, but we managed to save 4 behind him, plus the first 2, born healthy.

The uterus had begun to rot inside, and several of the pups had been dead for some time.

The spaying that happened after the pups were removed was green and black, with the consistency of pudding. We pulled as much out as we could, but the rest had to be rinsed out.

Thankfully, I’ve smelled that smell very few times after. It smells pungent and strong. Like garlic. Like a cream of garlic stew.

I thought I’d gotten a whiff of THAT smell when Ophelia walked in, and again when she sat down. Pulling her boot off was like the first deep cut into momma dog. Garlic and blood.

The smell of something rotting in someone still alive.

She had on two socks. I peeled off the first one. There was a stain at the toe. The second sock was worse. The smell hung around.

Our windows were screwed shut. I couldn’t do anything about the smell.

Ophelia cried into her tea. She was still apologizing.

The toe was purple and black. There was a lot of yellow pus under the nail, which was leaking out on either side. Red streaks ran up her instep, tracing her veins.

The toe was swollen and needed a lance.

I had no idea how she climbed the stairs to get to me. (I was on the third floor, and she lived below. We had no elevator.)

She started to get loud (peeling those socks off HURT), so I asked her a question. I asked about her history paper. The ten-page history paper was a rite-of-passage at the school, and I knew it was coming due for her. I told her to tell me about her topic and her sources.

She did.

Thank the Lord and Lady.

I got my dissection kit and rubbing alcohol. I made things as sterile as I could.

I told her that it would probably hurt, but that I would work quickly.

Her friend left after the first cut. She didn’t stay gone long, but I heard her vomit in our suite’s toilet.

Ophelia kept talking about her paper. I led her around on that topic, asking questions and asking for clarification. Asking about the books she’d read, and offering a few that I was familiar with on the subject.

This is why doctors and dentists know so many things about so many subjects. Talking keeps the patient calm.

Meanwhile, pus and blood dripped from the slits that I made in her flesh, onto a towel that bore the stains until I donated it to the animal shelter, years later.

I soaked her toe in the bowl of water. The salt burned, but she couldn’t scream.

There was an adult who was supposed to be watching us. If she was alerted to my low-tech medical unit, she would have stopped me and sent Ophelia to the murder nurse.

I filled another bowl, salted it, and microwaved it.

Ophelia’s friend rejoined us, and watched as I squeezed the rest of the pus out of her. Her toenail slipped off in the third bowl. The toenail was cracked. Ophelia kept it.

I wonder if she still has it?

Triple antibiotic ointment and a sterile dressing later, I told her to tell the nurse that she needed a doctor. Nurse Bitchy couldn’t keep us from a doctor if we asked for one. She said that she would.

I gave her a few oral anti-inflammatory pills and some Benadryl to get a good night’s sleep.

She left, with her boot in her hand and a soft smile on her lips. I cleaned my tools, my bowls, the floor where her foot was, and had to do a load of laundry because that one rag smelled so awful.

My roommate came back in time for headcount, and asked if I’d made ramen. Said it smelled pretty good in there.

It did. Rot can do that.

It was hard to sleep that night. I cried quietly until sleep took me.

Ophelia recovered. She became a witch some time later. In college, I think. We’re still friends, in a Facebook kind of way.

Brother Dave is still alive. After working for my school, he ended up helping the Church cover up three decades of sex abuse at a diocese school. Not sure what he’s up to, but probably nothing good. He’s a garbage human.

Nurse Bitchy just retired. She lasted twenty years at that school. God knows how.

Senator Fuckup died in a car crash and the school is being renamed after him. So are the new dorms that are being built.

Klan Kountry cleaned up their water after I left. That’s really good news.

The school continues. Apparently, it got better with Brother Dave’s leavetaking. I hope that’s true.

And me?

I’m still a witch. I’m still here.

And I can still smell that rotten toe on the edge of nightmares half-remembered.

~*~

I don’t want my diploma revoked or to be sued, so disclaimer time.

This is fiction. Any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

#witchcraft #prose #proseriot #kitchen witch #healing #writing #amwriting #autobiography #true story

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world---in---my---eyes · 5 years ago

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Mark Lanegan about Dave Gahan (mxdwn.com Interview 12/08/2019)

mxdwn: Have you ever contemplated working with Soulsavers again?

ML: Well Rich Machin, who is the Soulsavers dude, is one of my best friends now. I didn’t know him at all, of course, when I was first handed the music. He’s pretty much specifically Dave Gahan’s dude now. By the way, Dave Gahan, one of the greatest singers of all time. Incredible. I’m a huge fan plus he’s a super cool guy. The last couple of records they’ve done were with Dave. I guess their 20th anniversary is coming up and one of the things that was pitched to me was that I do one of Dave’s songs and he’s doing one of my mine for a 12″ single or something. If that happened I’d be psyched. To me, he wrote the Soulsavers song. A song called ‘Presence of God.’ I would love to do that. Hopefully that will happen. <...> ...it’s always cool when somebody like Dave Gahan sings one of your songs. I’ve seen him do one of my songs before and it was like, ‘Okay, well I can die now.’

mxdwn: Depeche Mode is so fucking good.

ML: They are so fucking good and have so many great songs. We toured as Soulsavers with those guys, because Martyn LeNoble, the original Porno for Pyros bassist, he’s an amazing musician. He plays on all my records. He had played in Dave’s solo band with some off time from Depeche. Anyway, they’re good friends. That’s how we ended up opening an arena tour with those guys for two months as Soulsavers. I watched their whole show every fucking day. It’s one great song after another. I mean really great songs. I’ve seen them playing an arena, I don’t know, maybe 40 times before. Last year or maybe the year before they came to LA and did a private show for fans at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which is basically a room that’s 100, maybe 150 capacity. Tiny room. They invited me to go and I went. Dude, they’re like the most badass club band, too. I’d never seen them play on a small stage. I wondered how’s that going to be? You’re so used to seeing them play these huge 20,000 seat arenas. Dude, it was so fucking bad ass. It all comes down to Dave, because he’s an amazing front man. It doesn’t matter whether he’s playing an arena or in front of 100 people, he’s fucking the shit.

He’s one of those classic frontmen. When I first saw him I was like, ‘Fuck man.’ When I was young and I couldn’t sing and I started with the Trees, I actually did move around on stage because I didn’t have anything else to do. I couldn’t sing so I just screamed and jumped around like an idiot. But I thought, ‘Fuck, wouldn’t be great to be a real front man like Dave? I said, ‘Fuck Dave, I wish I had turned into a front man like you.’ He goes, ‘Dude, I wish the fuck I had done it like you do it so I don’t have to run around five miles every night.’ He does. It’s physical. He’s the only guy, I mean God bless the rest of those dudes, he’s their focal point. He’s out to the end of the runway and fucking all over the stage. He’s a year older than me. I’m not a fucking spring chicken. He’s in great shape and his voice is getting better with age, that’s also something that doesn’t often happen.

#post #quote #12.08 #Mark Lanegan #Dave Gahan #Soulsavers #2019 #postSpirit

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sippin-on-red-wine · 5 years ago

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No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface.

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy.

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool.

Full points.

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song.

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be”

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES. The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced.

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual*

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone” bahahahahah

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm.

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone.

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar.

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

#ed sheeran #no 6 collaborations project #album review #surprise bitches i love every song #what did you think would happen

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