#date of publication: April 12 2010

[classicasongoficeandfire]

The Blackfish by Christine Griffin

[foxes-that-run]

MH cried on stage about haylor?? I need to see this give me link

The TLDR is that the meltdown video: ramps up at 3:49, there is also this tumblr post by someone who was there about it and this news about it.

Maylor/Haylor storytime with too much info

Matty Healy's villain origin story is that he’s a nepo baby “Artiste” that was passed by the major labels. Meanwhile Harry grew up nearby and was signed for £20m by a major label off a TV show. MH has been low key obsessed with Harry, eventually dated his girlfriend, dumped her and she said she had temporary insanity. He said they never dated in 2014, doing so would be emasculating and he released a HS diss track at the time. In 2024 he said TTPD does not reflect the relationship they had.

MHs parents are actors Tim Healy and Denise Welch, overseas 1D fans may know his mum from this Loose Women interview with 1D. His parents had a messy public divorce covered in Tabloids.

1999 - When his mum was featured on This is Your Life, in this clip, 10 year old Matty said he wanted to be "a popstar and top class musician" with his mum looking tense.

2002 - the 1975 was formed with school friends in Manchester, it will be 10 years before they have success.

2009 - 1975 met and was unsigned by every major label. Their manager formed an independent label and signed them for £20.

2010 - One Direction is formed on X-Factor with Harry, 5 years younger also from Cheshire, 30 minutes drive from Mattys hometown of Wilmslow, both near Manchester. 1D becomes a national sensation and sign a £1m record deal with a major label.

2011 - One Direction continues to grow with the X-Factor tour, records Up All Night and starts their own tour.

2012 - What Makes You Beautiful is #1 in 16 countries including the UK and US. Harry starts dating Taylor Swift and the world loses it's mind over them and the band.

2012 - December - Halsey posts "That Haylor Song" on Tumblr which went viral, it mocks I Knew You Were Trouble

2013

2013, February - 1975 get their first top 20 song, Chocolate that reaches #19 (Teenage Kicks was on #6 in the same chart, on it's way down from #1).

2013, September 3 - Harry tweeted that he downloaded the self-titled 1975 album. Matty Healy told an interviewer that he went from 4k followers to 15k followers in 10 minutes. Matty said they became mates, he texted Harry to thank him. The 1975 covered What Makes You Beautiful:

2013, December 28 - Halsey posted to Tumblr photos with Matty Healy and in a hotel room with him, saying "Matty and I got close this year which was amazing"

All fab, or so it seems.

2014

2014 - January - Halsey starts writing about Matty Healy, later in 2014 she said she went to a concert and met him

2014, February - Taylor finishes 1989, Harry and Taylor start dating again and seem to for the rest of the year.

2014, March 20, fallout boy shares this photo of Matty Healy, fallout boy and 1d minus Harry to instagram captioned “London hangs.” I don’t know when the photo with Harry is from, the jacket is St Laurent 2014 and it first appeared on live journal June 2014. Harry wore the coat again in September.

2014, March - MH plays call or delete with Harry's BFF Nick Grimshaw and calls Niall and Harry, he says he has Niall’s number because he is writing a song for one direction and that he had never spoken to Harry before (but had his number and Harry recognised his voice and/or just would know Nick had the show on and who was on it.) MH asks to borrow £5k and Harry agrees. Harry probably knew he was on Nick Grimshaw.

2014, April - his mum says MH is writing a song for 1D and talks about Anne.

2014, April 24 - Halsey covered a 1975 song.

2014, May - Halsey writes about her hand in Matty's curls.

2014, May 8 - One Direction record Change Your Ticket in Fasano Hotel, the TV Special includes footage (2:12) of Julien and Niall figuring out the lyrics and melody in Rio De Janeiro. The band then toured

2014, May 24 - One Direction and the 1975 both play the Glasgow Big Weekend, though 1D fly in for just their show they are then in London.

2014, July - Anne tweets Denise with a throwback photo

At some point they play Change Your Ticket for Matty who Later said:

“They got me in and they said, ‘We really like your band. Would you write a song for us?’,” Matt revealed to Spin. “[But] they didn’t seem to be actually that interested. They just wanted to play me this song that they said was really, really inspired by us.", “Listen guys, fill your boots, the song doesn’t sound that much like ‘Girls’. But the guitar and the whole vibe of it is a complete lift, So take the guitars off and we’re good." “It would have been a bad 1975 song.”

2014 - October 27 - 1989 released. On the same day Halsey's debut 93, about Matty Healy also is released.

Taylor says to Rolling Stone that her publicist has said a relationship is not a good idea:

‘How long do we have on the clock — before something comes along and puts a wrench in it, or your publicist calls and says this isn’t a good idea?'” (bless you @cntfightmydemonsthyknowhowtoswim)

2014 - October 29 - Halsey gives an interview on the All Things Go podcast where she says she had met Matty. She talked about her debut single 93 and Matty Healy, she has posted to Tumblr indicating they were dating.

2014 - November 8 - Matty Healy wears a 1989 T-Shirt, Taylor likes a Tumblr post about it.

2014 - November 17 - FOUR comes out with Change Your Ticket including the 1975-esq guitar. In the Four Hangout Harry says "well done Tyler" (32:25) and Niall adds "your Boyfriends back", Liam adds "Your gonna get in trouble" Tyler is Taylor's name I n the Man video, the 1D band had rhyming or celebrity code names for themselves that they used in interviews (Harry = Susan Boyle, Zayn = Wayne)

2014 - November 19 - Harry, Taylor & Selena go to a 1975 concert together. This is often cited as the Maylor starting point, Harry was there and called her boyfriend by Niall 2 days before. Taylor posts a video of her, Selena and Harry is briefly seen. Video of Taylor and MH backstage.

2014 - November 28 - unverified rumour that Taylor was seen in an SUV at Chattanooga near the 1975 concert. She was in London 30th

2014 - December 2 - Harry and Taylor at Victoria's Secret After party and leave together in London. First time Style performed.

2014 - December 4 - Taylor at a 1975 concert in NYC, last till 2023. 1D in London, appeared on Graham Norton. Rumours Taylor dating Matty. he tweets they got his name wrong.

2014 - December 6 - Taylor has laryngitis at Jingle Bell Ball. Matty Healy does this on stage in Boston, crying and yelling at the audience:

8 December - Blind "The B- list celebrity offspring of two of the worst celebrity parents ever has been hooking up the past few weeks with the lead singer of the band that Taylor Swift loves. Apparently they sent Taylor a pic of themselves naked in bed together." (Ali Lohan (Dina and Michael)/Matty Healy “The 1975″)

2014 - December 9, after Twitter ran with the meltdown, coupled with Matty being linked to Taylor who the band knew to be with Harry. They go on more Four promo. One Direction was not getting on, Harry had broached the topic of the Hiatus a few weeks earlier. They appear on RTL in the Netherlands. Liam seems drunk and makes a beard joke at Harry.

24 December - Tabloid media about Ali Lohan/MH

And that's the end of the 2014, interaction, between Matty appearing in the 1989 t-shirt and the meltdown was 1 month, and Harry and Taylor were seen together in that time. Taylor did go to one 1975 concert without Harry, 2 days before Matty melted down.

13 December Taylor tweets asking the media to stop accusing her of dating her friends (kk & MH)

In this time Matty was also smoking heroin, from the New Yorker in May 2023:

In 2014, amid the early rush of fame and steady touring, Healy began smoking heroin, the only substance he found that could pull him down from the stratosphere. It was a secret, for a while; then the band staged an intervention. Healy resisted: he was the star, and the rest of them would have to get on board.

2015, November - Matty said to the Guardian:

On 6 December, onstage in Boston. “There was girl stuff,” he says. “There was family stuff. There was financial stuff. There was drug stuff. I remember hearing the crowd and having an identity crisis. I thought: ‘If you want to see a show, I’ll give you a fucking show. If you’ve come to see the jester drink himself into a slumber, I’ll give it to you.’ I felt like I’d become an idea as opposed to being a person.” At one point, a fan shouted, “I love you, Matty!” He’s ashamed of his response. “What did I say to the poor fucking girl? ‘You don’t have the right to love me. You don’t know me. I love you but you don’t get to love me.’ Jesus. Can you imagine your favourite band shouting that at you? What a dickhead. What a horrible thing to say to a kid who fucking does love me.”

2015

2015 - January - Matty also does this interview where he says it was all fake that he dated Taylor and there is noone in the world he knows less than Harry Styles

2015 - February 26 - Taylor pictured hugging Nick Grimshaw, Harry’s BFF, next to Matty Healy at the 2015 Brit awards after party. Harry was in Australia, he and Taylor had broken Up and this is the night she met and seemed to immediately start dating Calvin Harris’s until June 2016

2015 - April - Matty Healy and sources close gives a lot of interviews saying he is angry about Change Your Ticket and that One Direction stole the 1975's sound.

19 July 2015 - Matty Healy dates Halsey after she goes to a 1975 concert who shares the above instagram photo

2015- Matty starts dating model Gabriella Brooks, who he dates until 20 February 2019

Love Me

2015 - October - 1975 Love Me came out which is a rather direct Harry diss:

the lyrics reference Blank Space "Rumors Fly": "You've been reading about yourself on a plane".

"caught up in fashion, Karcrashian panache" a style reference and a diss to Kendall

music video where Matty makes out with the cardboard cutout of a 17 year old Harry Styles.

on stage he copies Harry's dancing in this song.

In the BTS Matty says "I just wanted to make a video that was about some kind of sexually confused rockstar type that who buys into his own nonsense really"

he also wore Chelsea looking boots and pointed them out in the BTS

Matty said he got permission from the celebrities, but also added that he did not plan to make out with Harry's. Meaning Harry did not give permission for how his cut out was used.

2016

2016, March to Q Magazine, (and widely reported) Matty said:

“I feel like I’m not very good at relationships,” he’d said, and I wondered why. Healy explained the jumble of reasons – insecurity, self-obsession, a fear of misrepresentation. Was it also, I asked, a fear of losing himself? He nodded. “Absolutely. And the reason I mention that is because if I had [properly] gone out with Taylor Swift the first thing I would’ve [thought was] ‘Fucking hell I am NOT being Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.’ You know, FUCK. THAT.” Then he had added an afterthought: “That’s also a man thing, a de-masculinating, emasculating thing.”

In 2016 Matty was dating Gabby and they posted to instagram a lot, like this photo of them at Coachella together in 2016. They seem happy and committed, they dated for another 3 years. He toured the whole year, (dates) South East Asia January, UK/Europe March - April. Coachella 24 April (they were in Canada on the 29th) then US & Canada until July. Back to SE Asia & UK in August, South America in September, US again in October with shows every other night.

12 November 2016 - to the Guardian Matty again mocks Haylor, with a reference to Hobama, also confirming they didn't even kiss:

"Did he have any relationship with her, I ask in my best Ken Starr voice. “No.” Sex? “No.” Did you kiss? “No.” So why the huge hoo-ha? “She came to a show and we hung out. We fancied each other, but then we couldn’t have it go any further, because it would be like going out with Barack Obama.” He says there was nothing misogynistic about his comments, he was simply being honest: he didn’t like the prospect of two giant egos clashing and him coming off second best."

2017

They continued touring constantly, (dates) Uk/europe January, February. South America March, April. US/Canada April - July.

2017 - November - Matty went to Rehab, they didn't tour till 2019. Matty was still dating Gabby.

I'm skipping ahead a few years, Matty brings Taylor and Harry up alot, like in random interviews with Zane Lowe, Nick Grimshaw etc. But the vibe is often separating him from success. I wonder if he is also reminding others he knows them.

12 April Harry maybe shades Matty in his Rolling Stone Interview:

 I had a really nice upbringing. I feel very lucky. I had a great family and always felt loved. There’s nothing worse than an inauthentic tortured person. ‘They took my allowance away, so I did heroin.’ It’s like – that’s not how it works. I don’t even remember what the question was.”

In May Taylor and Joe went public, dated till 2023.

September- Harry posted that he liked it when the 1975 covered What Makes you Beautiful. Matty responds saying "you. are. peng"

2019

2019 - February 19 Matty breaks up with Gabriella Brooks, who he dated since 2015.

3 January - MH asks to produce Harry's next album… via twitter…. and says Harry has blocked him.

4 October - Matty Healy interview where he says he wants to produce Taylors record (said about Harry earlier the year) and went on to say 'that taylor swift song about supporting gay people, when it came out we already knew that."

2020

2020, January 20 - Matty starts dating FKA Twigs, they dated until 2022

2020, February Taylor, Joe and Matty are at the NME Awards:

Healy said: “I went over to her. I was like, ‘Taylor, we need to make the record.’ No, I didn’t. She said hello to every single person. Obviously it’s Taylor Swift so everyone was saying hello. “She was just stood behind me. I mean, I haven’t seen Taylor in years so it was actually a really nice room. But it, unfortunately, wasn’t the time for me to pitch my post-rock Joni Mitchell project to [her].”

2022

2022, June 7 - Matty breaks up with FKA Twigs who he dated since 2020

Collaboration with Jack Antonoff

2022 - 5 January - 14 February - he works with Jack Antonoff. The band did not work with Jack before 5 January 2022. On 5 January they were in Real World Studios (i.e. not Electric Lady with Jack) and the record was complete by 14 February 2022. It is an album made to be played live and Jack did not write lyrics, under 6 weeks is about right. There are rumours of a collab which Matty both says it is fake news he worked on Midnights and then that he did but it wasn't used. Taylor never acknowledged.

2022 - 27 March DM Story Jack had an argument with FKA Twigs who was dating Matty after the Oscars.

2022 - midnights comes out, no 1975 collab.

2022, December - Matty starts dating model Charlotte Bliar D'Alessio. they had been dating 'for weeks' and date until the end of March.

2023

2023 - 12 January - Taylor performs anti-hero and The City at 1975 concert, multiple rumors Harry was also there: x, x, x

2023 - 15 January - MH invites HS to perform, H declines. MH makes inappropriate comments accusing Harry of Queerbaiting.

2023 - 11 February blind item:

2023 - March - Reps for Matty Healy's girlfriend Meredith says

“She did not see this coming at all. All the time Matty was in the studio with Taylor, she thought nothing of it. He’d spend the day in the studio and then come home to her. “Things were going well until around March 29 then, out of the blue, he stopped replying to messages and calls. “He just ghosted her and that was it. Then, four weeks later, he went public with Taylor.

2023 - March/April/May/June - Taylor touring the US. The 1975 touring Latin America in March, Asia and Australia in April and May, Europe in June. The only times they would have seen each other are the handful of times they were photographed.

2023 - 14 March - MH spotted with Dasha, said he was bad in bed and TS thing ended.

2023 - 10 April - Taylor and Joe's separation press release. MH delete socials said:

"everything happens in eras. The 1975 is a very eras band. The era of me being a f***ing a***hole is coming to an end. […] I can’t perform off the stage any more.”

2023 April 14 - MH cries on stage in I always wanna die, and puts his head in his hands during Love it if we make it in Sydney. Saying “You changed all the words on my set list to rude words,” he says, pointing off-stage, before admitting the culprit is “trying to cheer me up because I’ve been going through a bit”. Covered in news

2023 April 24 - MH introduces 'She's American' in Tokyo with: "When I picture it, there's like three places I picture people listening to it, there's Manchester, Pennsylvania, that’s a whole other thing don’t worry about that and Tokyo” 1975 was formed in Manchester. Matty and Harry are from nearby Wilmslow or Cheshire respectively.

2023 - May 3 - TS & MH mouth "this is about you, you know who you are. I love you" on stage. Before cardigan, a song Taylor wrote for Harry referencing Falling.

2023 5 May - MH at Eras tour, Sparks Fly and Teardrops on my guitar. He joined Phoebe Bridges on stage.

2023 6 May - OOTW/Fifteen. MH attends again

2023 11 May - MH and Taylor hold hands in NY

2023 12 May - Gold Rush & CBBH, Philli. MH on stage at Eras in skeleton costume. MH and Taylor at group dinner hold hands.

2023 13 May - TS This Love, no intro/Forever and Always (Philli) MH attends eras and seen with Scott Swift.

2023 15 May - Taylor leaving Electric Lady with MH

2023 16 and 18 May - Matty carries a bag to and from Taylor’s NY apartment, she’s seen at electric lady earlier in the day.

May - blinds about MH saying something shocking about Beyonce, shocking porn habits after podcast, hooking up with underaged girls, calling Andrea names, abuse of violent porn stars he watched. (referring to these comments in Adam Friedland podcast - DM link.) double down on racist comments because T doesn't care.

2023 24 May - People reports Taylor kissed MH at Zero bond, no photos of them arriving, no photos allowed in club. Last time reported to be seen together. 50 days since his ex said they were good.

2023 27 May - during the Radio 1 Big Weekend at Glasglow, a broadcast event, Matty Healy acted unusually and said "Try romanticising your life for a job, see how you like it". This section is cut from the BBC's official video of About You. Harry was also in Scotland in Edinburgh. Matty opened the show (wearing a lab coat he took off) with an apparent acknowledgement that the relationship wasn't sincere:

“Is it all a bit? Is it sincere? Will he ever address it?” he asked. “All of these questions and more will be ignored in the next hour. Ladies and gentleman, this is The 1975.”

2023 June 5 - MH break up reported by TMZ later confirmed no longer speaking. People:

"She had fun with him, but it was always casual," a source confirmed to PEOPLE on Monday. "They are no longer romantically involved." "They were never boyfriend-girlfriend or exclusive and were always just having fun," another insider tells PEOPLE. "There is no drama, and who knows what could happen again. It was a good time and ran its course."

2023 August 16 - MH back with the girl he dumped in March for …. That.

2023 September - Matty starts dating Gabby who he is still with.

I have no idea what happened in 2023, but I think the blind about him hating H is correct.

2024 February 15 - MH said on stage “Do not come for me. Trust me. You know who I’m talking to. Honestly, you know who you are. I’m as mental as I seem. I have the receipts. Don’t f**k with me. Trust me.”

2024 6 June to us weekly

“He loves the attention it’s brought to him, [but] he also thinks it’s hilarious because at no time [were they] ever serious,” the friend claims. Healy’s pal adds that the musician was “completely blindsided” by TTPD’s “lyrical content,” especially Swift’s allusions to her and a love interest discussing marriage and children. “For her to be saying things about baby carriages … and living together — he says it had never even come up,” the friend says.

2024 October 23 - Matty Healy on Doomscroll podcast likens Taylor to the Marvel of music because self-referential and implies it is not good. Says relationship was casual and will not write about her on the next album... after spending 2 hours complaining.

[jennyboom21]

Before Taylor Swift was sparking headlines about "squad goals" or attracting throngs of Hollywood stars to The Eras Tour, she and Dianna Agron were nearly inseparable.

The "Style" singer and "Glee" star became close in 2012 and were quickly identified in the media as "blonde BFFs." However, the following year, Swift and Agron suddenly seemed to lose touch. They haven't been spotted together since 2014.

Keep scrolling to see everything we know about the once-close pair.

They became friends while Swift was working on 'Red'

It's unclear how and when Swift and Agron met. In 2010 and 2011, Swift became friendly with "Glee" stars like Cory Monteith and Chord Overstreet, so it's possible the women were introduced by Agron's castmates. They both attended the 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar Party, but there's no evidence they interacted.

Swift and Agron were spotted in public for the first time on September 4, 2011 at a flea market in Los Angeles. Swift was between shows on the Speak Now World Tour, while Agron had recently wrapped a series of Glee Live! concerts.

By this time, we know that Swift was in the process of creating her fourth album because she had already written "All Too Well."

According to her diary excerpts (released alongside "Lover" in 2019), the beloved song was conceived in February 2011. She decided to name the album "Red" in September 2011.

Dianna Agron and Taylor Swift in 2012.

January 7, 2012: Agron tweeted that Swift looked 'beautiful' on the cover of Vogue

Swift was photographed by Mario Testino for the February 2012 issue of Vogue, for which she was given retro-style bangs. According to a behind-the-scenes video, the photoshoot took place on the eve of her 22nd birthday.

"Taylor looks all kinds of 70's beautiful....and love a hat! Great job," Agron wrote on Twitter, tagging both Vogue and Swift.

March 25, 2012: Swift and Agron went to see 'The Hunger Games' together

A group of fans snapped a photo with Swift and Agron at the theater during the movie's opening weekend.

April 12, 2012: Agron shut down rumors that she was in a 'love triangle' with Swift and Tim Tebow

For some reason, in early 2012, tabloids ran wild with a theory that Agron was dating NFL quarterback Tim Tebow while Swift was harboring a "puppy dog" crush on him.

During an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," Agron quashed the rumors. She clarified that she had a "10-minute chat" with Tebow and hadn't seen him since.

Kimmel also asked her to address her relationship with Swift: "Are you dating her? That would be great."

"Wouldn't that be juicy?" Agron replied, blowing a kiss to the camera and adding, "Hi Taylor."

April 24, 2012: They wore vintage gowns and flower crowns to celebrate Shirley MacLaine's birthday

Swift, who costarred with MacLaine in the 2010 film "Valentine's Day," played dress-up with Agron and two more friends in honor of the actor's 78th birthday. The small group shared photos of the occasion on social media, though most have since been deleted.

"We dressed up full-time fancy and went out in celebration of Shirley MacLaine's birthday," Swift wrote on Twitter, per E! News.

"Had a long day & don't know what to celebrate later…? Because you need a moment to be young? Find your moments," Agron added in her own tweet.

April 28, 2012: Swift celebrated Agron's 26th birthday

Swift wore a tiger costume for Agron's circus-themed birthday party, which she called "the most magical night" on Twitter.

"The blonde BFFs have been spending a lot of time together as of late," E! News wrote.

May 15, 2012: They dined together in Los Angeles

Paparazzi caught Swift and Agron leaving Dominick's, an Italian restaurant in West Hollywood, after a Tuesday night dinner.

July 4, 2012: Swift and Agron spent the holiday in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts

Swift was spotted in the famous East Coast town during Fourth of July weekend, mostly hanging out at the Kennedy compound. She was accompanied by Agron and their friend Claire Kislinger (neé Winter), according to the Boston Herald and Us Weekly.

Kerry Townsend, the granddaughter of Ethel Kennedy, tweeted at the time: "Arrived at my Grandma's house to find her chilling with Taylor Swift and Dianna Agron. I hope I'm this cool when I'm 83!"

October 22, 2012: Swift released 'Red,' which includes a dedication to Agron

Swift is known for leaving coded messages for fans in the liner notes of her album. The secret message for "22" was four names: "Ashley Dianna Claire Selena."

In addition to Agron and Kislinger, these most likely refer to stylist Ashley Avignone and Selena Gomez. The song is about spending a carefree night with friends, though hints of ill-advised romance are sprinkled in: "You look like bad news / I gotta have you."

There could be another reference to Agron in the liner notes for "Everything Has Changed." The song's secret message is "Hyannis Port," where Swift spent some time with green-eyed Conor Kennedy that summer. ("All I've seen since 18 hours ago / Is green eyes and freckles and your smile," Swift sings.)

However, many fans have noticed that "Hyannis Port" is actually misspelled in the liner notes as "Hyiannis Port," which mirrors the spelling of Dianna (who also has green eyes).

The day that "Red" was released, Agron congratulated Swift on Twitter with a screenshot of her phone playing "Everything Has Changed."

December 3, 2012: Swift and Agron both attended the Ripple of Hope gala

Swift and Conor Kennedy reportedly split in October 2012 after a few months of dating. However, later that year, Swift was still honored with the Ripple of Hope Award from the Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice & Human Rights.

The annual gala was held at the Mariott Marquis in New York City. According to E! News, Swift had Agron "by her side" throughout the event. She also performed "Starlight," a song from "Red" that was inspired by Ethel and Bobby Kennedy.

"Was a beautiful night last night. The RFK foundation provides help to so many truly deserving," Agron tweeted. "Plus @taylorswift13 was truly lovely."

April 2013: A fake artice, which claimed Swift and Agron were dating, went semi-viral

Shortly after Swift embarked on the Red Tour, a doctored screenshot from a fake tabloid began circulating on Twitter. The headline from Stars Daily, which does not exist, said "Taylor Swift is in a new relationship...but it's not what you expected."

"Country pop singer Taylor Swift has confirmed being in a relationship with Glee star Dianna Agron," the fake article continued. "Lesbi-honest! Right after the rumors were confirmed, the two were spotted out on a dinner date." (The attached photo was from Swift and Agron's dinner at Dominick's in 2012.)

On April 23, 2013, "Skins" actor Dakota Blue Richards tweeted about the rumor: "So apparently Taylor Swift and Dianna Agron are dating. Sorry Brangelina, you just got taken over as the worlds hottest couple."

Neither Swift nor Agron publicly responded to the rumor. But Richards' reaction seemed to increase its virality, and the following day, Agron deleted her Tumblr.

"Thank you friends for following the journey," she wrote in her final post. "But as an old chapter closes, a new chapter begins."

September 4, 2013: Swift, Agron, and other friends went to a Fun. concert

"Modern Family" star Sarah Hyland shared a video from backstage at the Fun. concert, which took place at the Greek in Los Angeles. Swift is featured in the short clip, while Agron is briefly shown standing off to the side.

"Watching @OurNameIsFun live tonight at the Greek was unforgettable," Swift wrote on Twitter, per Taste of Country. "Such incredible musicians and showmen. It was just SO good."

Two days later, Agron also tweeted an inside joke about the concert, tagging Swift.

This seemed to be the last time they intentionally hung out (at least in public).

October 27, 2014: Swift released the deluxe version of '1989,' which includes a breakup song called 'Wonderland'

The lyrics of "Wonderland" clearly reference "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," the 1865 novel by Lewis Carroll. When Swift performed the "1989" deluxe track as a surprise song on The Eras Tour, she said it was a "twisted" take on the fairy tale.

In the song, Swift describes her muse as having green eyes and a "Cheshire Cat smile." She says they "fell down the rabbit hole" and got lost in Wonderland, all without considering the consequences.

"Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?" she sings in the pre-chorus, a reference to Alice's observation that "curiosity often leads to trouble."

Swift concludes in the bridge: "In the end, in Wonderland / We both went mad."

Some fans have drawn a connection between "Wonderland" and Agron, who has repeatedly tweeted about her love for Alice.

"I love 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'The Hobbit,'" Agron said in a 2011 interview with Elle. "Those books got me into reading and storytelling — I could escape to a different world."

Indeed, Agron reportedly had a Tumblr, deleted in 2013, that was called "felldowntherabbithole."

She also had a reference to "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" tattooed on her ribcage: "We're all mad here," which is a quote from the Cheshire Cat. Fans noticed that Agron was in the process of removing her tattoo in 2017.

November 23, 2014: They had a brief interaction at the 2014 American Music Awards

Although she spent most of the evening with Karlie Kloss, photographers did catch Swift having a moment with Agron at the 2014 AMAs, where she also performed her single "Blank Space."

This was the last time Swift and Agron were seen together in public. Notably, Agron did not appear among Swift's many celebrity friends in the 2015 "Bad Blood" music video, which seemed to confirm they were no longer close.

October 5, 2019: Agron went to 'SNL' when Swift was the musical guest

Agron was photographed leaving 30 Rock after "Saturday Night Live" finished filming. Swift was that night's musical guest — she performed "False God" and the title track from "Lover" — but there's no evidence she interacted with Agron inside.

May 7, 2023: Agron was asked about rumors that she and Swift were 'in a relationship'

During an interview with Rolling Stone, Agron was asked about her influence on Swift's music, specifically "22."

"Me? Oh, if only! That's more because of a friendship than being the inspiration for the song," she replied. "But I would not be the person to ask about that. I cannot claim that!"

The reporter also asked how Agron felt about being "shipped" with Swift, which he explained as, "You two were made out by the media and some fans to be in a relationship."

In response, Agron described the speculation as "so interesting."

"I… I mean, there have been many stories about my dating life that are so wildly untrue. That's funny," she said.

[theroyalsofcorrilea]

Anastasia (Anastasia Caroline Louise Marie; Born 13 February 1980) is Queen of the Kingdom of Corrilea and the Corrilean Dominions, having ascended the throne following her mother’s abdication in 2010.

Anastasia was born at St Mary’s Children’s Hospital, as the first child of the then Crown Princess Catherine and Prince William, being born 15 minutes before her twin brother, Prince Edward. In 1989 at the age of nine, Anastasia become heir apparent to the throne upon the abdication of her grandfather and subsequent accession of her mother. The young princess was educated at home until the age of 12 by tutors under the supervision of her grandmother, Elizabeth of Schleswig-Wolfenbüttel-Kassel. Afterwards she went to Easton Creek Academy, before attending King’s College.

In 1999, she married Alexander Snow in a public ceremony at the Cathedral of St John the Holy. A year later, the couple had a set of twins, Princess Isabella and Prince Theodore. In 2006, the couple announced their divorce amidst domestic abuse rumours against Alexander. Following the divorce, the then Crown Princess filed for sole custody of the children and won six months later, after the Supreme Council Judge Mark Ferguson ruled in her favour.

As Crown Princess Anastasia held thousands of patronages and was widely celebrated in by the media. In 2007, she meet her second partner Lady Beverly Coture. The pair dated for several years, before tying the knot in 2009, in a private ceremony at the Royce.

On the 15 April 2010, she ascended the throne after her mother, Catherine I abdicated due to health concerns. She is the 31st monarch of Corrilea and the fourth female sovereign.

[mykpoplovers]

South Korean pop rock band CNBLUE returning to Malaysia after nearly 10 years

KUALA LUMPUR, Feb 21 — South Korean pop rock band CNBLUE is returning to Malaysia.

After nearly 10 years since their last show here, the three-piece band will be rocking the stage at Mega Star Arena KL in conjunction with their CNBLUENTITY Asia Tour which will be happening from March until April.

Other Asian countries that are currently on their list include Singapore, Thailand and China.

The band debuted in South Korea back in 2010 under FNC Entertainment with three members including lead vocalist and guitarist Yongwha, bassist Jungshin and drummer Minhyuk.

Throughout their career, CNBLUE has recorded songs in Korean, Japanese, English and other  languages with a discography that spans 11 studio albums, 14 extended plays (EPs), 33 singles  and three compilation albums. The band has received numerous awards such as the Golden Disc Awards, Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA) and Melon Music Awards. 

Music aside, the three members have also taken up acting, appearing in recent K-dramas – Yonghwa played the lead in the comedy drama Brain Works (2023), Minhyuk starred in the hit drama “Celebrity” (2023), while Jungshin played a leading role in the romance comedy “Shooting Stars” (2022). 

The details to CNBLUE ‘CNBLUENTITY’ Live in Malaysia are as follows:

Date: 20th April 2024 (Saturday)

Time: 8pm

Venue: Mega Star Arena, Sungei Wang

Ticketing: RM398- RM798

Website: www.ticketingtix.com

Standing • BOICE Zone – RM798 (Fan Benefits: Soundcheck for 900 fans, Goodbye Session for 900 fans, Signed Poster for 200 fans, Limited Laminated Lanyard during pre-sale.) Seated • THEN Zone – RM698 (Fan Benefits: Soundcheck for 100 fans, Goodbye Session for 100 fans, Signed Poster for 60 fans, Limited Laminated Lanyard during pre-sale.) • NOW Zone – RM598 (Fan Benefits: Signed Poster for 40 fans, Limited Laminated Lanyard during pre-sale.)

• FOREVER Zone – RM398 (Fan Benefit: Limited Laminated Lanyard during pre-sale.)

Before the public general sale, an online pre-sale for the show will be available for fans to pre register at https://bit.ly/3UzKfCZ with limited capacity, starting from 23rd February for three days only. Successful registrants will be able to access ticket pre-sale on 28th February at 12 noon and receive a limited laminated lanyard with their ticket purchase. 

Successful registrants will be able to access ticket pre-sales on February 28 at 12pm and receive a limited edition laminated lanyard with their ticket purchase.

For more information and the latest updates, follow Lo-Fi Entertainment on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lofi.entertainmentkl) and Instagram (www.instagram.com/lofi.entertainment)

[usafphantom2]

FAB about to complete retirement of the AH-2 Sabre attack helicopter

Diego Alves By Diego Alves 08/05/202022 - 09:32 AM in Brazilian Air Force, Helicopters, Military

Historic moment for FAB. Photo by Alex Pelicer.

The Brazilian Air Force (FAB) is "retiring" the AH-2 Sabre attack helicopter (Mil Mi-35M Hind), export version of the legendary Mi-24. The 12 helicopters received by the Poti Squadron were delivered in four batches with three aircraft each and currently accumulate more than 8,000 flight hours.

The vector represented a huge operational gain for the Poti Squadron, which began to fly a genuinely attack aircraft, filling an operational gap that existed in the FAB before its arrival.

Twelve years ago, on April 17, 2010, the official ceremony for the incorporation of Mi-35M helicopters into the Brazilian Air Force (FAB) took place at Porto Velho Air Base (RO).

Arrival of the Mi-35 in Rondônia, aboard an An-124. FAB photo.

Acquired as part of a compensation that the Brazilian government made at the time, after Russia lifted the import embargoes of meat produced in Brazil. At that time, the vector was very welcome, despite criticism that it should be used by the Brazilian Army and not by the Air Force.

Developed from the Russian Mi-24 helicopter, the Mi-35M incorporates several technological innovations, maintaining the main characteristics of its predecessor, which are firepower, armor and robustness.

The use of weapons in the "Sabre" was carried out with the help of the Giro-stabilized electronic and optical system GOES-342, which allows the detection and identification of targets by means of TV or thermal image. FAB photo.

The Brazilian Air Force (FAB) highly estimated the flight characteristics of Russian Mi-35M transport/attack helicopters, according to the Russian Federal Service.

"The command and pilots of the Brazilian Air Forces highly estimate the combat characteristics, reliability and easy maintenance of the Mi-35M in the extremely difficult conditions of the Amazonian tropics," said Valeria Reshetnikova, spokesman for the Military Technical Cooperation of the Russian Federal Service and released by the Russian agency TASS.

The training with 10 AH-2 Sabre helicopters was carried out at Porto Velho Air Base. (Photo: Air Force Agency)

Also in 2021, as previously reported by Russian Helicopters, the company would repair the Mi-35M combat helicopters of the Brazilian Air Force. The corresponding contracts were signed by Russian Helicopters Holding (part of Rostec State Corporation) in November-December 2020 with the Brazilian company Aviation and Service Industry (IAS), an authorized company of the Brazilian Air Force.

AH-2 Sabre engages two A-29s during simulated combat. (Photo: 2°/8° GAV)

However, Russia's invasion of Ukraine eventually made it difficult to carry out the maintenance and modernization processes. Although Brasilia maintains a reasonable relationship with Moscow, the order to deactivate the aircraft was given.

Also in 2021, the respected Brazilian military affairs portal DefesaNet published that AH-2 Sabre (Mi-35) helicopters could be being sold to Libya in a triangular operation with the United Arab Emirates.

DefesaNet cited the French publication Intelligence Online as the source. According to the following, in a report dated February 12, a triangular operation is under negotiation so that the forces of General Khalifa Haftar (Libyan National Army) receive an unspecified number of the Russian Mi-35 helicopters (AH-2 Sabre), operated by the Brazilian Air Force - FAB.

Obviously, the Air Force Command denied such negotiation. As we have already observed in another article, the Mi-35 was a point out of the curve within the Brazilian Air Force. Because they are so few specimens (12 units), form only one squadron and have a totally different maintenance and logistics from the doctrine, the AH-2 despite being formidable, perhaps it was not a necessary vector.

AH-2 Sabre in its final passage through Campo Grande. Credit in the image.

AH-2 Sabre in São José do Rio Preto/SP. Photo by Alex Pelicer

AH-2 Sabres in São José do Rio Preto/SP. Photo by Alex Pelicer

FAB8960 in SJP. Photo by Alex Pelicer

FAB8961 in SJP. Photo by Alex Pelicer

The purchase of the Mi-35 by the Brazilian Air Force (FAB) in 2008 took the entire specialized press by surprise. He took it by surprise because no one expected it. Not even the FAB itself. It was a political purchase, an imposition of the Kremlin to suspend the embargo on Brazilian meat. This embargo was also political, not sanitary. It turns out that the trade balance was leaning towards Brazil and the Russian government ordered a balance, forcing Brasilia to purchase Russian products.

The initial information is that the FAB will stock up on most of the vectors.

Tags: Poti SquadronFAB - Brazilian Air ForceHelicoptersMi-35

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[mercuryonparklane]

I seriously debated keeping this one in the drafts...

Okay, I felt compelled to analyze the timeline of all of Taylor’s rumored/alleged boyfriends (barring any that she supposedly dated pre-fame) and why I believe they could have been fake/pr setups...

Disclaimer: this is all speculative and is just my opinion. No one has to agree... we don’t all have to agree because really the only people who know the truth are Taylor and those she has shared it with. I do have a very skeptical view of the entertainment industry and pr, so that is a bias I will own up to. I especially think Taylor, for a very long time, was willing to play along with the pr side of things, but eventually reached a breaking point (as any normal human under that amount of pressure and scrutiny likely would). Whether that means she has faked all of her public relationships or some of them or just aspects of them... I can’t really, truly know that. So, just keep in mind that this is one little, insignificant person’s view of Taylor’s public relationships and that I do not personally know any of the people involved...

Don’t take this too seriously, peeps... I’ll even tag it as crack theory...

Joe J.: June/July-September/October 2008

If nothing else this feels like a typical pr setup of two young stars. He had Camp Rock, a Jonas Bros’ album and a tour and concert film to promote. Camp Rock came out on 6/20/2008. The Jonas Bros’ third album, A Little Bit Longer, was released on 8/12/2008. In August, Taylor joined the band on stage during the filming for a concert movie that would be released in February 2009. 

Taylor had an album that was released just weeks after their alleged breakup. An album which contained a few songs that would be attributed to Joe J. due to the publicity surrounding their relationship. Hmm... what a great way to drum up interest in an album that includes quite a few heartbreak songs. Not saying I know that is the case, but they both had a lot to promote between June and November 2008.

Lucas T.: March-April/May 2009

He was in the Hannah Montana movie, which was released 4/10/2009. Taylor had a cameo in that movie and also wrote a song for the soundtrack. Lucas also played Taylor’s love interest in the mv for YBWM, which premiered 5/2/2009 on CMT. He was in one of her Myspace vlogs in April 2009. IMO, this was a setup to promote the Hannah Montana movie and the YBWM mv, but it didn’t really take off. Lucas later said they dated briefly, but he realized that he just saw her as a friend...

Taylor L.: August-December 2009

 They played a couple in Valentine’s Day. In September, just days after the VMAs where KW interrupted Taylor on stage as Taylor L. stood a few feet away, Taylor went to an Owl City concert at the Bowery Ballroom where she met the man who would supposedly inspire “Enchanted”. Umm... “please don’t be in love with someone else”... even though I am currently dating Taylor L. and he is my forever crush, but like, I am totally crushing on you actually. I have no clue if any Swifties have ever picked up on that discrepancy.  

Oh, and Taylor L. also “dated” Selena in early 2009 and I doubt Taylor would go there, even if they ended on good terms. I mean, it’s possible, but idk it seems unlikely to me. 

John M.: December 2009-February 2010

I think Taylor admired him as a musician (this seems to have been mutual with John praising her talent multiple times) and she may have seen him as a mentor at first. I do not believe that anything happened between them beyond that. I think he was so thrown off by “Dear John” because of that. He was already tweeting in the spring of 2009, hinting at wanting to collaborate with Taylor. The album their duet was on came out in November 2009, right before they started “dating”. Although it wasn’t released as a single until June 2010.

Besides, Liz (friend or otherwise) has remained a fan of John and even went to his concert a few years back. So, either she didn’t care that he screwed one of her supposed good friends over or it didn’t go down how people were led to believe it did.

Jake G.: October 2010-December/January 2011

Unless this relationship started much earlier than everyone has been led to believe, it is very unlikely that ATW is about him. It certainly seems to have been written prior to the maple latte/scarf/sister’s house articles that were abundant after that pap walk. Either Taylor used him as a scapegoat for a song that wasn’t about him or he was a willing participant in a pr scheme to make sure people thought the song was about him. 

He couldn’t have been setup with his costar, Anne H., because she was already in a long term, committed relationship. At the time Taylor was still good pr since she was still known as a kind of girl next door, all American type with genuine talent. 

I’m not saying I know for a fact it was fake. I’m saying there are plenty of reasons why I think it was. Everyone has different perspectives... mine is that this was purely a pr setup.

Will A.: sometime in 2010 and/or mid or fall 2011-January 2012 or May (?) 2012

They were likely just friends, but people did think they were dating back then. The songs that people think he wrote about Taylor (”White Dress” and “Kiss Me Slowly”) were recorded in 2010. So, if she started dating him in September 2011, which people think because the dress she wore to his May 2012 birthday party was the one she is wearing on the “Begin Again” cover art, then those songs aren’t about her. About the party dress...  Sarah B., who took the picture, was also friends with the Parchute guys, so maybe the photoshoot that the picture on that cover art came from happened earlier that day. 

He was friends with Liz’s ex Jason and one of his best friends is still to this day very close friends with Liz, so that’s probably how he met Taylor. I think Taylor hung out with that crew a bit back then. AND those times Will and Taylor were seen hanging out in late fall/early winter 2011, Jason and/or the other friend were there. Yes, I am saying that Taylor was hanging out with Jason in November/December 2011, just a few months after he and Liz supposedly broke up. She was also still hanging out with Liz a lot at that time and after, though, so I think it was all good.

Conor K.: July 2012-September/October 2012

This was Taylor’s worst pr. If it was a real relationship... it is borderline predatory. If it is fake... still a big yikes... I don’t have much to say about this one. I think it was fake and an attempt at making him the muse for “Starlight” (how cute, this song she wrote about his grandparents sort of became about them), “Begin Again” (nevermind that the copyright record say the song was written in 2011), and EHC (nevermind that the song was written in May 2012). It would have been great pr, though, if he was a couple years older. Taylor should have fired Paula after this one... (because the public should have never known about it, real or fake).

Harry S.: November 2012-January 2013

Similar to all the others before (and after), there were “random” sightings, including a birthday trip to “the lakes” and blatant pr (go on and wear that fox sweater and paper airplane necklace, Taylor...). That NYE kiss, though...

Calvin: February 2015-May/June 2016

Taylor finally dropped her old publicist and brought on Tree. First step, was to erase the “boy crazy”/“man eater” label (and possibly the “professional beard” label) and become an independent woman who just wants to have fun with her gal pals. It got a bit gayer than expected (whether Kaylor was really a thing to some degree or not is irrelevant to the point). The gay rumors were actually catching on even faster and people were like “oh, that’s why she couldn’t keep a man” (sexist/homophobic as all of this is/was, ofc). 

Enter Calvin... a playboy DJ who some might deem “tall and handsome as hell” (peeps, I am not really the best judge of a man’s attractiveness, so this is just how I think people see him). He seems sooo straight. I don’t know how else to say it. All of her other supposed boyfriends had gay rumors, whether or not those rumors were just people gossiping or had some basis in reality... I think he is the only one that doesn’t have them, that I know of anyway. 

I know a lot of people think they were really together, but I think this was an attempt to have her in a more serious, long term relationship to counteract both the gay rumors (not necessarily as a cover for a woman because I don’t think all of the guys have been or need to have been covers for a secret relationship with a woman, it’s about appearing straight) and the “can’t keep a man” narrative that had followed her around. Even if they were in some sort of situationship (not what I think, just theorizing here), it wouldn’t have been a steady thing and they seemed to not like each other very much when all was said and done.

I still laugh that he said Taylor was the opposite of his type (and specified that he likes brunettes) in November 2014 and then he allegedly dated her for almost a year and a half, starting literally a few months after he made that comment. If that was a real relationship, he was either playing it cool when he said that or he misjudged her or Taylor was determined to date him because it was a challenge.

Either way, it seems like her team controlled the public narrative and maybe Calvin was okay with that at first, but over time it seemed like he wasn’t a big fan of that. Maybe that visit to the strip mall massage parlor was a bit of a rebellion... 

At least they both got some royalties out of it...

Joe A.: September 2016-Present

Taylor’s team absolutely has control of the public narrative and he seems okay with that. He is a literal mirrorball. He is whatever Taylor supposedly says he is in her songs/whatever Swifties want him to be.

He likes to drop fun facts like how his family jumps into a freezing pond at Christmas or that he worked at a yogurt shop as a teenager. Whether they are real or not... he seems to be playing into the pr. Dropping little bits of information that will tie him to her songs... it is very “maple latte”/“paper airplane necklace”/dark jeans and Nikes... OR Taylor is just taking the few facts people know about him and using it to pin songs on him.

If he is a beard (which imo he likely is), I think he gets along with Taylor and doesn’t mind the minimal pr of it all.

I don’t think he is WB, either way...

Again this is just my view of things. This has no bearing on which women Taylor may have dated. I could do a separate post on what I think that timeline might look like.

One point I will reiterate is that I do not think that a beard would always be a cover for a secret relationship with a woman. I think it sometimes is, but it can be more of a general cover for someone who is gay. So many people think Taylor is the straightest person who has ever lived simply because of her public dating record. I mean, heteronormativity and homophobia also play a big part in that...

Edit: I completely skipped Tom lol. I just don’t buy that one either. Maybe he thought it would be good publicity or maybe he was led on to think it was more real than it was or maybe he was just having fun. Idk. All kinds of articles written about them at the time included some caveat about how they seemed fake or were maybe filming something...

[foxes-that-run]

2011 Haylor Timeline

Timeline Tag

We don’t know the whole story

Although Harry and Taylor have never said when they met or started dating, often assumed to have met At the March 2012 Kids Choice Awards, because it was the first time we saw them together. 2 weeks after the awards Justin Bieber said a superstar liked Harry, but didn't name Taylor or say they met at the awards. I have a post about the Kids Choice awards/IKYWT Secret message and Harry's Jacket here.

A source close to Taylor later said to Vanity Fair he had chased her for a year, before the started dating, which was also before he kissed Emily Ostily on the 21 April 2012 and Taylor posted about infidelities to Instagram on 23 April 2012 (which doesn't make sense if they met 24 days earlier).

That would indicate they had met by March 2011. Which is likely as they were in the same city and locations throughout 2011. In 2014 Taylor told Rolling Stone:

"People think they know the whole narrative of my life, I think maybe that line is there to remind people that there are really big things they don’t know about."

As Taylor said to Time Magazine in 2023 and Harry said to Howard Stern in 2019 it's not in their interests for a new relationship to be public before they are solid.  In Harry's words 'it's never benefited me' for a relationship to be public. In 2011 people were sent death threats for having dinner with him. It's no wonder they were hidden for most of that time.  Special thanks to @cntfightmydemonsthyknowhowtoswim for help with this. You are the best.

2010

31 January - Fearless won AOY & CA Grammy

27 March - Harry styles auditions for xfactor

23 July - One direction formed on X factor.

23 October - Taylor first seen with Jake at snl taping, sung monologue song

25 October - Speak Now released.

12 December - X factor semi final, 1D third, Syco signed One Direction for £2 million, each boy was only paid an initial £8,000. Maybe signed on the 13th.

13 December - Jake not at Taylor’s birthday, in January announce broke up in December. It was 7 weeks.

2011

4 January - Taylor seen in LA on the 5th January then not again for a month.

25-30 January 1D fly to Los Angeles. The Sun reported they were in US meeting writers and producers to start recording. It's likely they first met here.

5 February - Taylor seen for first time in a month, in LA, wearing the Key necklace in LA. It later appeared in the I knew you were trouble music video (4:45) and was sold as merchandise, there was a key for Fearless too, but it stopped after this.

19 February - 9 April; X-Factor live tour. TS tour break 20 & 21, 20th was X Factor O2 show.

1 March - Harry left Manchester hotel and arrived Sheffield

3 March - Harry pokemon white/black

7, 9 March - Harry Liverpool

10, 11, 12, 13 March - Harry in Manchester

17 - 30 March - Speak Now in Europe. Taylor wrote ATW

15 March - one direction Birmingham show, fans see boys leaving on the 16th then have 4 day weekend where he is not seen.

16 March - Taylor's Lover Journal talks about Paris, seeing castles, 4th grade and career anxiety over the Mean video. She talks about visiting having visited Neuschwanstein Castle that later appears in Bejewelled MV.

16 - 19 march Taylor seen in Paris

17 March - Taylor plays speak now in Paris at Zénith de Paris, in park bordered by Canal Saint-Denis, (technically) outside Saint-Denis.  Holy ground's secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” later the film clips for Begin Again, EHC, Falling and LOT tour images all reference canals in Paris. Taylor plays Soul Sister / Fearless mash-up for the first time that show. Soul Sister was Harry's first X-Factor Audition song. She plays the mash-up on/off for the rest of the tour and on the DVD.

21 March - Taylor in London Recording Studio wearing a rose dress key from IKYWT video. Taylor wore a Rose ring and Rose Dress the day before too.

22 March - Taylor shopping at Portobello Market and photographed at Alice in Wonderland themed store (Wonderland)

23 March - a Wednesday, Taylor wore white dress (Begin again cover) in London, Harry also in London before Nottingham show. Vanity Fair article later says they'd known each other for a year by March 2012. Harry return to hotel after performing at O2

30 and 31 March - One Direction Tour Break, Speak Now at O2

4 April - 1D iTV Studios (filming a year in making)

6, 8, 9 April - Harry Cardiff

30 April - 1D Recording Studio

2 May - 1D outside hotel London

10 May - 1D recording studio Kent

23 May - 1D left Britney Spears Concert LA Staples Centre

27 May - November 22 - Speak now in US, arm lyrics start.

2 June - 1D LA recording studio

3 June - 1D meet fans London

11 June - “In Detroit, Swift seemed somewhat melancholy. Once in a while, I had the feeling that she was on the verge of bursting into tears. She said that she had recently decided that life is “about achieving contentment… . You’re not always going to be ridiculously happy.” She had written about ten songs so far for her next album. Asked to characterize them, she said, “They’re sad? If I’m being honest.” The most recent one, she said, “is about moving on.” (x)

6-12 June - 1D in Sweden, likely record What makes you Beautiful.

13-20 June - 1D has a break, Harry unseen, not active on social and reappears in LA on the 20th. Taylor also free 13 - 16 other than the 15th:

15 June - Taylor arm lyrics "“A moment, a love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss, a cry, our rights, our wrongs.” – The Temper Trap, Sweet Disposition. Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, Minnesota. Exactly one year later Harry got the lyrics from this song tattoo'ed.

17 June - Lover Journal Taylor wrote in her journal on way to Nashville “Something so unexpected and amazing happened recently... I’ve become blissfully happy with my life. Like, actually grateful for every second of the day. I've notice this onset for a while, but it's really hit me in the last week and especially since I wrote those 2 new songs. I'm happy I get to meet so many people on the road who make me feel like my music really matters to them.” One song may be State of Grace.

20-27 June - 1D in LA. Speak now break 23 & 24 June.

20 June Harry reappeared in LA at Britney concert

21 June - Harry at Staples centre LA

26 June - Harry Heathrow

27 June - Taylor in Teen Vogue with photos like Babe video

2 - 10 July - Speak Now dates rescheduled due to Bronchitis. Taylor in LA and does magazine shoots.

8-15 July - 1D in LA. What makes you beautiful shot at Sycamore Cove Beach in  Malibu 14-15. 15 July - arrived back at Heathrow

27 July - 1D iTV London (shot A year in the making where H cried)

16 August - 1D Key 103 Manchester

24 August - Arm Lyrics “But my heart cried out for you, California.” – Joni Mitchell, California. Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

31 August - Harry wearing paper plane necklace in heat photo shoot (1:55)

6 September - One Direction at GQ Men of the Year Awards 2011 - London. It gets mentioned in a few interviews after.

7 September - Taylor plays Tacoma -arm lyrics: “You are the ever-living ghost of what once was.” – Band of Horses, No One’s Gonna Love You. In her Lover Journal she went to Nashville rather than LA and writes Red on the plane.

10 September - WMYB on Red or Black, Harry is anxious in his solo and his hand shake. Arm lyrics “There was always something that meant more to you than me” - Jessica Andrews, “There’s More To Me Than You”

11 September - What makes you beautiful debut #1. 21st - Up all night. 1D helicopter to Manchester, shown in A Year in the Making

13 September - 1D Real Radio Manchester

14 September - asked who was most confident with girls LT says "Definitely without a question say Harry, like Harry, no matter how long is known her, or who she is he will go up to her, like if it's a celebrity, like at the GQ Awards, [Niall adds "Like Pixie Lott] he will go up and sing their song and dance. It's like 100% Harold Styles." Harry then changes the conversation to silly names, Louis brings up GQ again and Harry mouths "Stop going' on about it" (9:50).

16 September - 1D Harper Collins London

18 September - Harry at G.A.Y. perform WMYB

21 September - Harry at GQ end of FW party

18 - 30 September - 1D in New York, filmed Gotta be You in Lake Placid NY 29 and SUNY 29 September. Speak now break 18, 21 - 23 September, shows other days. The film clip included scenes on a train, the SBT message is "when you were on the train", she wrote it sometime on a bus. Speak Now dates in Colorado, Utah and Georgia. However, 28 September is possibly an anniversary and in the Four hang out (31-33) Harry said gotta be you was his favourite 1D song of all, which Niall clapped and said “well done Taylor your boyfriends back”. Harry met Emily Ostilly.

30 September - 1D at Heathrow

4 October - At Bring 1D to me Munich, when asked about ‘Celebrity Dreamgirls’ Louis says "Celebrity dreamgirls um,  yeah like there's a lot of people I suppose that we think is HOT, like... Harry?" the look Zayn, Niall and Liam's expressions, and Louis this is not flirting, he is 'ribbing' Harry for making out with a famous person and sharing his secrets. Harry says his crush is Emma Watson, who the interviewer says has a crush on him,  H blushes and, not willing to let it go, Louis points out a love bite. Arm Lyrics “It’s easy saying nothing when there’s nothing to say” - KT Tunstall, “Fade Like A Shadow”

5 October - Taylor tweets “Leaving Little Rock, headed to New Orleans. Writing a song on a moving bus” in the album video (8:20) Taylor said she wrote sad beautiful tragic on a bus.

17 October - Harry goes to Ed Sheeran concert with Louis at Eleanor's university then not seen till rehearsals 2 weeks later.

19 October - Harry did a 10 min phone interview alone with Grimmy and said he was passing through Birmingham. There are voices in the background at the end.

20 October - Taylor played San Diego. Harry was not seen. He posted "Finally set the correct time on my Microwave..I feel like a new man." on Twitter.

24 October- Harry is coughing in an interview and looks and sounds unwell. At 16:20 the interviewer asks about their break, Harry purses his lips for age thinking then says he is tried when he comes back to work because he spends his break rushing around to see everyone. Zayn looks to Louis who gives a loud “Hmmm” which is a tell of his for knowing more than is said.

30 October - Taylor writes in lover journal she (also) has a chest infection!

31 October - Taylor adopted Meredith!

2 November - One Direction Tour rehearsals Harry back in London for month

9 November - Harry Shepperton Studios

13 November - Harry Fontain Studios, Xfactor also

15, 17 November - Harry London. filmed One Thing Hyde park 17th

17 November - Louis quoted in media  "Harry's found 'The One' now." and doesn't name Caroline. Harry and Caroline never say more than friends, Eleanor seen with Louis often. Harry in London

18 November - Up all night released. In listening party says “more than this” is his favorite, it’s a deep one. Harry in London,  has dinner with Caroline Flack. On 27 November on chatty man Harry clarifies there were other people there and again says just friends. Articles and Caroline tweets about death threats for having dinner with Harry. (Like WTF would anyone date him publicly?).

19 November - Harry Dublin

22 November - Harry Alan Carr. Taylor posts photo of London shop for preppie rugby menswear (!) and posts a photo to instagram with "Superior Style and Quality Fit" 👀 written on the window. This is a latergram, she had a show in Madison Square Garden. On October 3 Harry had said Rugby shirts look better on girls.

24 November Sugarscope asks if they have an eye on anyone in the US and mention Taylor Swift, all 5 are actually quiet for the first time, Liam’s face changes to serious (0:34), Harry and Zayn look at Louis, maybe because of Oct 4. Niall offers Demi Lovato and all the boys start saying Hollywood in a silly voice. The same interviewer asks about romantic Christmas plans, Louis looks at Harry again, Harry answers truthfully “Christmas at home with family” seems the interviewer and band know what’s not being said, they ask Harry twice

6 December - H Caroline's house

8 December - Caroline and Harry photo, see Caroline post from another blog

10 December - Harry london nightclub,

13 December - Taylor's birthday party inside her Nashville apartment. posted a photo in a recording studio, so assumed that Begin again was recorded on on her birthday. Taylor not seen again that year other than Snow on the Beach Photos. Harry seen in London on the 13th. One direction in tour rehearsals till tour begins 18 December in England (12 & 13)

15 December - Harry posted that he went skinny dipping, as in no shorts to avoid doubt. Taylor still MIA. Paper Rings vibes.

16 December - it snowed in Liverpool, including the "Snow on the beach" 50 minutes from Harry's house in Holmes Chapel.

I8 December - 1 July - Up all night tour, Europe till us in February

22 December - in 1D you tube the band chose a fan question “from Taylor, if you were a girl who would you date” and Zayn laughs and says Harry.

24 December - One Direction Holiday till 3 January. Taylor MIA.

28 December - Taylor posts three photos from a beach one with her face on the beach "Childhood beach memories revisited" and one with snow on the beach behind her "Nothing quite like a freezing cold, wintery beach." some have assumed this was in New Jersey, but the shadows look like an afternoon on an western coast and there was no snow in NJ, nor Taylor seen near there. It had snowed at the beach in Liverpool which is west.

29 December - Taylor posted a seashell with Safe and Sound Lyrics written (it had just been released) with the caption "Saying goodbye to the shore, writing on a seashell."

30 December - Harry got his drivers licence, on 28 June 2012 on Bert show (11 mins) said “the first thing I did was my …….. someone brought the car to me and I dropped them off at the pub” Harry was in Manchester. Louis posted he was in Paris Disneyland with Eleanor. Apart from the winter/snow on the beach photos Taylor hadn't been seen for a week, she then posted a goodbye and Harry's first drive was to drop someone secret somewhere. 👀 

31 December - Harry goes back to London flat for new years party, in same interview Harry said they spent Christmas at home

3 January - Caroline Break up announcement. Harry later tweets, he 'didn't dump' her, he never said they were more than friends. Caroline also said "95% of what was reported was false". 

Continue to 2012

[mashmaiden]

I calculate Deeks has been with LAPD for 13 years. You have to remember that he went to law school first and spent time as a lawyer. My cousin graduated from law school at 23, so I figure that's when Deeks graduated.

Because its me, I had to turn this into a full research project. Sorry not sorry! Pulling some of this from old research but here’s what I have that we know about Deeks’s career path. 

We know he went to law school and was a lawyer, but we don’t know how long he was actually in the profession. Could have been as short as 3 months for all we know! We know he went to LAPD Academy, and he presumably had to be an officer for an indeterminate period of time before being promoted to Detective. In Black Widow he mentioned spending 2 years in the LAPD Robbery Division. 

So I wrote a speculative timeline - 

Deeks was born Jan 8, 1979.

Since we haven’t heard anything about super genius tendencies or skipping grades (not that he wouldn’t hide that and surprise us with that fact down the road, it’s doubtful, so I'm getting off track), I will presume that he graduated high school at age 18 in 1997. 

There are some Accelerated law school programs that get you through your Bachelor’s degree and your JD in 6 years. If Deeks signed up for this straight out of high school, he’d have finished in 2003 at age 24 (maybe a semester early at 23 if took extra classes during summers/etc to get ahead - but as it’s already an accelerated program that would probably be difficult). 

Now, maybe (and this is a hypothetical) he decided in his last year of law school that this was not going to be a career he could stick with, but being this close, is going to at least finish the degree. Maybe he applied for the police academy before he was finished with school, trying to get in sooner rather than later, but taking the Bar Exam and then a public defender job while awaiting selection/training start. That COULD put him at LAPD as early as right around his 25th birthday (2004). [He’s 42 next month, so that’d be 17 years at LAPD as the maximum] 

The next few pieces of info come from here

LAPD Academy is 6 months long. 

After Academy is a further 12 month probationary period (it’s a total of 18 months, but starts from the Academy Start Date)

He would have had a Training Officer for this “one-year field training” (Is this where he worked with Boyle?)

After this period, the officer becomes a Police Officer II. Types of Police Officer II assignments include - 

After 3 years as a Police Officer II, an officer advances to PO III. This opens up additional areas an officer can work in (maybe where Deeks worked with the Robbery Division?) (this list below is only about half of the examples given)

He also may have begun Undercover work at this time? No mention of UC work specifically, but I guess possible

“Police Officers are eligible to compete in the Police Sergeant or Police Detective examinations after four years of service” per the career ladder site.

This would line up with the timeframes given for PO I and II, but skips PO III, but maybe with the right approval it’s possible? [Site didn’t make this clear on first glance]

If he began undercover work as a PO II or III, that should give him enough experience to be the skilled operator Deeks is known for being. 

On the other end of the speculation scale, if he took the Detective Exam/job right before he scooped up by Hetty (April 2010), and he had just hit the 4 years of service mark, that would mean he joined the LAPD in 2006. 

Also to note  - 

According to this screenshot from Pro Se (10x5)- Tiffany Williams was born in 1991 (oh, her bday was yesterday, happy birthday Tiffany!), and she said in Internal Affairs that she was 17 when the incident with Boyle happened. That gives us a solid timeframe of the last 2 weeks of 2008 through 2009 in which we know for a fact Deeks was a cop, but we already know he had at least that much experience than that before becoming NCIS’s liaison.

TL;DR - Known facts suggest Deeks started at LAPD between 2004 and 2006.

[aublog581]

Tap Forms 5.1.3

In April of 2014, the Indiana State Board of Education approved the adoption of new standards for English/Language Arts and Mathematics. These new standards are the result of a process designed to identify, evaluate, synthesize, and create high-quality, rigorous standards for Indiana students. They have been validated as college and career ready by the Indiana Education Roundtable, the Indiana Commission for Higher Education, the Indiana Department of Education, the Indiana State Board of Education, and the Indiana Center for Education and Career Innovation. This means that students who successfully master these objectives for what they should know and be able to do in Math and English/Language Arts disciplines by the time they graduate from high school will be ready to go directly into the workplace or a postsecondary educational opportunity without the need of remediation.

Acknowledgments This is the fourth edition of the Water System Design Manual.Many Department of Health (DOH) employees provided valuable insights and suggestions to this publication. UN and UNR thread forms - Standard series of UNC, UNF, UNEF, UN-4, UN-6, UN-8, UN-12, UN-16, UN-20, UN-28 and UN-32. Tolerance classes of 1A, 2A and 3A for bolts and 1B, 2B and 3B for nuts - Thread size from 0.0600 inch to 2 inches Tolerance class 2A and class 2B are selected classes for commercial external and internal threads per ASME B1.

For questions regarding Indiana standards, please email us at jjensen@doe.in.gov

Tap Forms 5.1.3 Instructions

The most up-to-date standards and resources for all subjects, including the new 2014 standards for English/Language Arts, Mathematics, Social Studies, World Languages, and WIDA, can be accessed via the links below:

Indiana Academic Standards and Resources

English/Language Arts (2020)

Mathematics (2020)

Science & Computer Science (2016) (2010)

Social Studies (2020)

CTE: Trade and Industry (T&I)

Fine Arts: Dance, Music, Theatre, Visual Arts (2017)

Health and Wellness (2017)

Physical Education (2017)

World Languages and International Education (2019)

WIDA English Language Development (ELD) Standards for English Learners (2013)

Tap Forms 5.1.3 Extension

Additional Resources

[hasanprincblog]

The Fascinating History of Netflix

Netflix is a giant of the internet today, but how did it start and who founded it?

By SM Khaled Hasan Prince

Stock Catalog/Flickr

For millions, Netflix is the de-facto place to go for movie and TV streaming. According to sites like fortune.com, its services alone constitute about 15% of all the world's internet bandwidth!

Not bad for a company that started by posting DVDs by snail mail. Here we explore the origins of the company and track some of the important milestones in history. 

RELATED: HOW EXACTLY DOES NETFLIX RECOMMEND MOVIES TO YOU?

Who started Netflix?

Netflix was first founded in August of 1997 by two serial entrepreneurs, Marc Randolph and Reed Hastings. The company began out in Scotts Valley, California, and has grown to become one of the world's leading internet entertainment platforms.

When it first opened, Netflix was purely a movie rental service. Users ordered movies on the Netflix website, and received DVDs in the post. When they were finished with them, they would simply post them back to Netflix in the envelopes provided. At the time, this was seen as a boon to those who did not have a video rental store nearby (remember those?).

Today, Netflix streams movies and has more than 151 million paid subscribers in over 190 countries around the world. It offers a wide range of TV series, documentaries, and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages, including original productions

Reed Hastings helped cofound Netflix back in the 90s

Source: Guety/Wikimedia Commons

Reed Hastings co-founded Netflix in 1997. He was an entrepreneur who in 1991 had founded Pure Software, which made tools for software developers. After a 1995 IPO and several acquisitions, Pure was acquired by Rational Software in 1997.

Hastings received a BA from Bowdoin College in 1983 and an MSCS in artificial intelligence from Stanford University in 1988. Between Bowdoin and Stanford, he served in the Peace Corps as a high school math teacher in Swaziland. Today, he is an active educational philanthropist, having served on the California State Board of Education and on the board of several educational organizations.

Marc Randolph is the other chap behind Netflix

Source: marcrandolph.com

Marc Randolph is a veteran Silicon Valley entrepreneur, advisor, and investor. As co-founder and founding CEO of Netflix, he laid much of the groundwork for a service that’s grown to 150 million subscribers and fundamentally altered how the world experiences media.

He also served on the Netflix board of directors until retiring from the company in 2003." - marcrandolph.com. 

Randolph graduated from university with a degree in Geology and would go on to found and run various mail-order and direct-to-customer companies before Netflix. 

Throughout Randolph's career, he founded no fewer than six successful startups, including the magazine Macworld, and has mentored hundreds of early-stage entrepreneurs

When and where was Netflix founded?

As previously mentioned, Netflix was founded in 1997 in Scotts Valley, California. It was originally a rent-by-mail DVD service that used a pay-per-rental model.

Users would browse and order the films they wanted on their website, put in an order, and Netflix would post them to your door. After renters had finished with the DVDs, they would simply post them back.

Rentals cost around $4 each, plus a $2 postage charge. After significant growth, Netflix switched to a subscriber-based model. 

With this model, users could keep the DVDs for as long as they liked, but could only rent a new movie after returning their existing one. 

Source: Matthew Keys/Flickr

Netflix's mail-order rental model would directly challenge the market dominance of bricks-and-mortar rental giants like Blockbuster. In fact, Blockbuster could ultimately not compete with the move to online streaming and rentals and filed for bankruptcy in 2010.  

But this never needed to happen. Years earlier, Blockbuster had the opportunity to partner with Netflix, or even buy the company out.

"In 2000, Netflix CEO and co-founder Reed Hastings approached Blockbuster about a partnership. Unfortunately for Blockbuster, their CEO just smiled and laughed at him.

In fact, Blockbuster even had a chance to purchase Netflix for $50 million. Netflix currently has a Market Cap of [$209.74B] (July 2020) and a share price of  $476.89, while Blockbuster is out of business." - rewindandcapture.com. 

Why is Netflix called Netflix?

You could probably work this one out for yourself. But in case you are still stumped, the name Netflix is a combination of "Net" (as in the abbreviation for "internet" and "Flix" (a variation of "flick", the common abbreviation for a movie or film).

Pretty straight forward really. 

Source: Facebook

How was Netflix founded?

At the time Netflix was founded, Randolph was working as a marketing director for Hasting's company Pure Atria. He was also the co-founder of MicroWarehouse (a computer mail-order company).

Hasting would later sell Pure Atria to the Rational Software Corporation in 1997 for $700 million. 

By all accounts, the pair came up with the idea for Netflix during a commute between their homes in Santa Cruz and Pure Atria's HQ in Sunnyvale. 

Hastings would supply the seed capital, and invested $2.5 million into the startup in cash. Inspired by Amazon's e-commerce model, the pair explored various portable items they could use to sell over the internet in a similar fashion.

After initially considering and rejecting VHS cassettes, they settled on DVDs as the perfect product. They tested their idea by posting a DVD to their homes in Santa Cruz, and when it arrived in perfect condition, they decided the time was right to break into the market with their revolutionary model.

Netflix launched in April of 1998 as one of the world's first online DVD rental companies. They had only a few staff, and just under 1000 titles at the time. 

Source: stockcam/iStock

Some of the key milestones in Netflix's history

Here is a brief timeline of some of the critical milestones in the company's history (courtesy, in part, of Netflix.com):-

It all kicks off 1997

Reed Hastings and software executive Marc Randolph co-found Netflix to offer online movie rentals. 

Netflix launches its DVD rental and sales service in 1998

Netflix launches the first DVD rental and sales site, Netflix.com

Their subscriber-based business model launches in 1999

Netflix debuts a subscription service, offering unlimited DVD rentals for one low monthly price.

Source: Tero Vesalainen/iStock

2000 unveils subscriber personalization

Netflix introduces a personalized movie recommendation system, which uses members’ ratings to predict choices for all Netflix members.

Netflix goes public in 2002

With a membership count at 600,000 in the US, Netflix makes its initial public offering (on the Nasdaq, under the ticker “NFLX”). The stock is initially offered for $15 a share, with an initial offering of 5,500,000 shares. 

The company ends the year with around 857,000 registered Netflix accounts. 

Since then, Netflix has consistently been one of the best-performing stocks in the S&P 500.

The company celebrates 1 million accounts in 2003

This year, Netflix hits a new record for the number of members, with more than 1 million. The company also issues a patent with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for its subscription rental service, with some other extensions. 

Co-founder Marc Randolph steps down as a member of the board and leaves Netflix in 2003.

Source: Dominic Smith/Flickr

2004 sees a doubling in the number of Netflix accounts

This year, Netflix's member base surpasses 2 million. At the same time, Netflix also faces one of its first encounters with the legal system when they are sued for false advertising in relation to claims of "unlimited rentals" with "one-day delivery". 

The claimant accused Netflix of failing to deliver on these two marketing promises in the San Fransisco Superior Court, claiming that the company's 3 at-a-time plan precluded unlimited rentals, and there was no way to ensure the one-day delivery using "snail mail". 

Netflix denied any wrongdoing, and both parties eventually agreed on a settlement. 

By 2005, Netflix has doubled its subscriber base again

The number of Netflix members rises to 4.2 million.

Netflix accounts hit a record 5 million in 2006

Netflix sees huge growth in member numbers, reaching 6,3 million subscribers by years' end. The company also launches its "Netflix Prize", promising a whopping $1 million to the first person, or team, who can achieve a set accuracy goal in recommending movies based on personal preferences.

Netflix also released around 100 million anonymous movie ratings, using a system that rates films from one to five stars. This is the largest set of such data released to date. 

Video streaming is introduced in 2007

Netflix introduced a streaming service, called "Watch Now", which allows members to instantly watch television shows and movies on their personal computers. This was a huge shift in the company's business model. Initially, the service launched with just 1,000 titles and only worked on PCs and Internet Explorer. It also offered a limit on the number of hours of free streaming (with a maximum of 18 free hours a month), based on the users' subscription plan.

Netflix was also careful to say that they felt DVDs would be around for a long time. Despite these limitations, it was soon clear that streaming was the future of entertainment.

By the end of 2007, Netflix had 7.5 million registered subscribers -- up almost 20% on the previous year.

Source: Stock Catalog/Flickr

Netflix teams up with various consumer electronics companies in 2008

Netflix partners with consumer electronics companies to allow streaming on the Xbox 360, Blu-ray disc players, and TV set-top boxes.The year ends with around 9.4 million subscribers

Netflix is added to Playstation and smart-TVs in 2009

Netflix partners with yet more consumer electronics companies to allow streaming on PS3, Internet-connected TVs, and other Internet-connected devices. Its member base also expands to an amazing 12 million accounts by the end of the year. 

The "Netflix Prize" also finds a winner this year. "Bellkor's Pragmatic Chaos" team, consisting of seven researchers from four countries. Running for over three years, the contest had attracted tens of thousands of contestants from more than 180 countries worldwide

Netflix connects to Apple devices and expands into Canada in 2010

Netflix is available on the Apple iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch, the Nintendo Wii, and other Internet-connected devices at this point. Netflix launches its service in Canada.

The year ends with more than 20 million subscribers on the books. This year also marked the point where the number of customers who were primarily streaming shows, outpaced those who were renting, leading Hasting to declare in an October earnings call that, "By every measure, we are now primarily a streaming company that also offers DVD-by-mail."

Source: Stock Catalog/Flickr

The Qwikster debacle of 2011

[pittarchives]

His Old Tribulations, Our Current Struggle: Remembering Garner in the Current Call to Reform Cannabis Laws

This post was written by Warner Sabio Sr., Graduate Student, Jazz Studies, University of Pittsburgh.

Recently, on April 7th, Virginia’s legislature passed a bill legalizing the possession of small amounts of marijuana, making it the 16th state to do so. Under Virginia’s law, adults can possess an ounce or less of marijuana beginning July 1. Several weeks before, New York passed the Marijuana Regulation and Taxation Act, legalizing the recreational use of marijuana in the state. New York’s legislation also expunges the records of people convicted on marijuana-related charges that are no longer criminalized. These two drug-policy reforms concerning marijuana are a few of the many looking to respond to the disproportionate and often tragic impact previous legislation has had on communities of color.

For Erroll Garner, the drug policies regarding marijuana and the enforcement of those laws affected him personally and professionally. On January 26, 1946, Garner was arrested in Los Angeles and charged with violating section 11500 of the California Health and Safety Code—a felony at the time. The State accused Garner of possessing “flowering tops and leaves of Indian Hemp (Cannabis Sativa)” and set bail at $500. According to dollartimes.com, adjusted for inflation, $500 in 1946 is equal to $7,156 in 2021. An excessive amount, it seems, for the non-violent crime he was accused of committing. Nevertheless, on April 10, 1946, Garner pled guilty to the charge and was sentenced to 90 days in the county jail. This incident would mark Garner as a felon and a “dope addict,” in the problematic wording of the language that circulated in press accounts. The distinction would continue to cast its shadow and haunt the pianist for at least another decade, if not the rest of his life.  

(Above) Page 1, (Below) Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, and Page 11 from folder “Erroll Garner Personal,” Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, AIS.2015.09, Box 3, Folder 18,  Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System. 

Six years later, after a performance at Mack’s Tavern in Atlantic City on September 12, 1952, the pianist was again arrested and brought up on charges surrounding a marijuana-related drug bust. According to The Baltimore Afro-American, Garner was held “for failure to register as a convicted addict under the state’s narcotics registration law and not for being an actual user of narcotics.”[1] The conviction referred to by New Jersey law-enforcement authorities was based on Garner’s 1946 Los Angeles arrest, which he reportedly informed authorities of at the time. Interestingly, Garner, convicted of possessing marijuana in the initial Los Angeles case, was now branded a “dope addict” in press coverage revolving around the Atlantic City incident.

(Above) Image of the article from The Baltimore Afro-American, Sept. 13, 1952.

The headline on the front page of September 13, 1952, Pittsburgh Courier read: “ARREST ERROLL GARNER FOR DOPE.” The subhead for the article noted that Garner was “Part of Big-Time Roundup.” The lede stated:

ATLANTIC CITY – Erroll Garner, Pittsburgh’s significant gift to jazz and dexterous piano-playing, was nabbed here in a post-Labor Day roundup of alleged dope addicts and suspects.”[2]

(Above) The Pittsburgh Courier, Sept. 13, 1952.

The Courier also reported that forty-one other suspects were also arrested. One of those arrested included Garner’s roommate and valet, Frank (Tons) Randolph, who was accused of “being a dope peddler.” The Afro-American reported Randolph “was placed under $25,000 bail after two witnesses testified in Municipal Court on Monday that they bought marihuana in $10 and $20 lots from him.” According to dollartimes.com, adjusted for inflation, $25,000 in 1952 is equal to $245,730 in 2021. From the reports, it does not appear that authorities found any weed on Garner or Randolph. Nevertheless, it seems the testimony was enough to warrant the arrests.

It is also interesting to note that the Courier report hinted at a possible ulterior motive for the arrest.  Perhaps stemming from the practice of racial profiling of Black men driving nice cars, the paper reported, “police are alleged to have stated that Garner has been driving around Atlantic City in a 1952 Cadillac and a woman, described by some as his wife has been driving a Chrysler.”

In a follow-up story on September 20, The Afro-American interviewed Garner about the arrest. The headline read: “GARNER SHRUGS OFF DOPE COUNT ARREST: ‘Just One Of Those Things,’ Pianist Says of Shore Incident.”[3] Garner discusses the Los Angeles case in the piece, affirming his conviction (saying it took place in 1943) and stating he was “sentenced to 45 days to an honor farm.” Garner elaborated:

“It was all a ‘frame.’ I was turned in by a fellow whose job I took in a night club in which I was playing. The guy was salty and squealed. But I am not complaining because it did happen. At the time, I was a youngster and went around with a bunch of wild guys.”

(Above) Headline from The Baltimore Afro-American, Sept. 20, 1952.

As for the Atlantic City incident, Garner was quoted as saying he “was through with that kind of stuff now” and had “too much to lose.” However, he was critical of the publicity, stating, “the only thing is that I was the least involved and got most of the publicity. This is one time that I wished I was digging ditches.”

Almost a month after the Atlantic City arrest, on October 11, 1952, The Afro-American reported that Garner was fined $50 for failure to register as a dope addict.[4] The case was thereafter dismissed, and Garner “filed the necessary registration forms in compliance with the local ordinance. According to the paper, the incident had left Garner feeling “disturbed” and “embarrassed.” Garner was forced to cancel several weeks of bookings “in order to permit him to rest” because he was “suffering from nervous exhaustion.” As for Randolph and the others arrested that night, my limited search came up empty as to how they fared.

On Jan.17, 1953, the Courier reported that a case involving Garner’s arrest in St. Louis on New Year’s Eve was tossed. Garner was charged with possession of narcotics.[5] The paper said, “Garner’s case was thrown out of court because the officers did not have a warrant when the arrest was made.” Garner’s attorney, however, clarified that the basis of the arrest was “a crank telephoned St. Louis police that the pianist had carried narcotics from New York to St. Louis in his automobile. It was revealed that Garner had arrived in this city by plane.”

For Pittsburgh-born Garner, professional success could not shield him from the insatiable appetite to punish that has driven much of the nation’s drug policies for decades. Major players in the formation of these early policies are uniquely linked to Garner geographically. Harry J. Anslinger, who served as the first commissioner of the U.S. Treasury Department’s Federal Bureau of Narcotics, was an Altoona, PA native. Pittsburgh’s-own Andrew Mellon, the uncle of Anslinger’s wife, appointed him to the post. Mellon, at the time of Anslinger’s appointment, was the Treasury Secretary.

According to The Economist:

“The drafters of the Harrison Act of 1914, the first federal ban on non-medical narcotics, played on fears of ‘drug-crazed, sex-mad negroes.’ And the 1930s campaign against marijuana was coloured by the fact that Harry Anslinger, the first drug tsar, was appointed by Andrew Mellon, his wife’s uncle. Mellon, the Treasury Secretary, was banker to DuPont, and sales of hemp threatened that firm’s efforts to build a market for synthetic fibers. Spreading scare stories about cannabis was a way to give hemp a bad name. Moral outrage is always more effective if backed by a few vested interests.”[6]

According to law professor Michael Vitello, “while the Harrison Act did not include a prohibition against marijuana, its framework would become the model for Congress’s first efforts to criminalize marijuana.”[7]

(Above) Harry J. Anslinger served as the first commissioner of Treasury Department’s Federal Bureau of Narcotics. Image from the Associated Press. 

Driven by stereotypes, some framers of early U.S. drug policies linked the usage of both marijuana and cocaine to marginalized communities and racialized “fringe groups like pimps, prostitutes, and day laborers” and “uppity Southern blacks and race-mixing drug parties.”[8]  Concerning Anslinger’s beliefs, Vitello states:

“Finding racist quotations attributed to Anslinger is easy and a reminder of how ingrained racist language was in this country. Here are a few choice quotations: “Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men”; “Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men’s shadows and look at a white woman twice”; and “There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the U.S., and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers and any others.”[9]

These antiquated and racist beliefs would vibrantly pulsate through the heart of drug laws for generations. Unfortunately, Garner’s experience was not isolated or rare. For Garner, the arrests and court cases must have been taxing. His experience speaks for many people caught up in the web of draconian drug laws pervading the justice system. The growing frustration has led to calls for change.

As previously mentioned, recent efforts have yielded changes to drug policy concerning marijuana across the United States. To date, sixteen states, two territories, and the District of Columbia have legalized small amounts of marijuana for adult recreational use. Twenty-seven states have decriminalized weed, meaning, “small, personal-consumption amounts are a civil or local infraction, not a state crime (or are a lowest misdemeanor with no possibility of jail time).”[10] However, more needs to be done to undo the gross injustice that lopsided enforcement has produced. It is a flawed system of policies and laws that impacted Garner then and thousands today. We must resolve the discordant tones struck by the framers of foundational drug war policies, the effects of which still resonate and impact civil society today.

Works Cited

Erroll Garner Archive, 1942-2010, AIS.2015.09, Archives & Special Collections, University of Pittsburgh Library System.

“Arrest Erroll Garner For Dope: Pianist Part of Big-Time Roundup.” Pittsburgh Courier (Pittsburgh, Pa.), September 13, 1952: 1.

Bender, Steven W. “Joint Reform? The Interplay of State, Federal, and Hemispheric Regulation of Recreational Marijuana and Failed War on Drugs.” Albany Law Environmental Outlook 6, no. 2 (2013): 359–.

“Errol Garner Case Thrown Out of Court.” Pittsburgh Courier (Pittsburgh, Pa.), January 17, 1953: 1.

“Errol Garner Pays $50 Fine: Failed To Register As Dope Addict.” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), October 11, 1952: 9

“Garner Shrugs Off Dope Count Arrest: ‘Just One Of Those Things,’ Pianist Says Of Shore Incident.” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), September 20, 1952: 3

Gootenberg, Paul. Andean Cocaine: The Making of a Global Drug. Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press, 2008.

“‘How did we get here?’ A Survey of Illegal Drugs.” Economist, July 28, 2001, p. 4. The Economist Historical Archive, 1843-2015 (accessed April 13, 2021). https://link-gale-com.pitt.idm.oclc.org/apps/doc/GP4100323851/ECON?u=upitt_main&sid=ECON&xid=779492d4.

“Pianist Under Bail For Not Registering As Addict; Shore’s Raids Called Biggest.” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), September 13, 1952: 1

National Conference of State Legislatures website, https://www.ncsl.org/research/civil-and-criminal-justice/marijuana-overview.aspx

Vitiello, Michael.  “Marijuana Legalization, Racial Disparity, and the Hope for Reform.” Lewis & Clark Law Review 23, no. 3 (2019): 789-822.

[1] “Pianist Under Bail For Not Registering As Addict; Shore’s Raids Called Biggest,” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), September 13, 1952.

[2] “Arrest Erroll Garner For Dope: Pianist Part of Big-Time Roundup,” Pittsburgh Courier (Pittsburgh, Pa.), September 13, 1952.

[3] “Garner Shrugs Off Dope Count Arrest: ‘Just One Of Those Things,’ Pianist Says Of Shore Incident,” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), September 20, 1952.

[4] “Errol Garner Pays $50 Fine: Failed To Register As Dope Addict.” Baltimore Afro-American (Baltimore, Md), October 11, 1952.

[5] “Errol Garner Case Thrown Out of Court.” Pittsburgh Courier (Pittsburgh, Pa.), January 17, 1953: 1.

[6] “‘How did we get here?’ A Survey of Illegal Drugs,” Economist, July 28, 2001.

[7] Michael Vitiello,  “Marijuana Legalization, Racial Disparity, and the Hope for Reform,” Lewis & Clark Law Review 23, no. 3 (2019), 794.

[8] Paul Gootenberg, Andean Cocaine: The Making of a Global Drug, Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press, 2008, 193.

[9] Vitiello,  “Marijuana Legalization,” 799.

[10] National Conference of State Legislatures website, https://www.ncsl.org/research/civil-and-criminal-justice/marijuana-overview.aspx

[witchywinchester99]

Chris Evans Masterlist

One Shots

(Smut = *)

I Told You So - Chris has a thing for saying he told you so to you, he has a thing for. Between their close friendship, working together, and other relationships all standing in the way, pining after each other without realizing becomes commonplace.

For Your Safety - Chris always pushes you away because he doesn’t want you to have to be in the public eye and doesn’t want to hide a relationship.

Just Stop - Chris gets jealous of your relationship with Sebastian.

Sick - Chris takes care of you after having a heat stroke on set.

Fou d’amour - Chris takes you out in the middle of the night to finally get some alone time together.

Sunrise - You and Chris watch the sunrise at the beach after a twelve hour day of filming .

Mature - you guys have a 12 year age gap and overhears him saying stuff about their relationship and her

Faster Than You Can Fall Asleep - Chris and the you Skype while he’s away filming since they miss each other so much, but little does she know she won’t be missing him for long.

Just Wait - Chris returning home from wrapping filming on Avengers: Endgame.

Sleepy - You can’t sleep until Chris cuddles with you.

Hanging Around - Mornings spent watching John Mulaney on Netflix and afternoons making out on the couch are always fun, right?

A Weekend Away - Chris comes home to you who had a really rough day and suggests a long weekend away might do them some good.

“You Fell Asleep on my Shoulder” - During a plane ride Chris accidentally falls asleep on your shoulder but you don’t mind.

You Make Me Crazy - Chris gets jealous which leads to a fight.

Lost Without You - Chris is there for you after a bad day.

My Girl - Chris gets jealous when someone flirts with his girlfriend whose younger than him.

Before the Oscars - Fighting before attending the Oscars and not making up until afterwards.

Meeting Captain America - A day at Disneyland with Chris and his family. Only his nephew Miles gets excited to meet “Captain America”

Distance - You try to break up with Chris when the distance gets between you guys.

Early Mornings - Your to tired to care when pictures of you and Chris are taken at 6am on your way to Avengers: Endgame Press junket.

Red Lace* - Wearing red lace and Chris takes your virginity.

Headshot - You and Chris are moving in together. As you place the photo albums into a box, one of the photos falls out and you can’t help but tease Chris about it.

Comments - Chris’s gf posts a pic of her at the beach and guys are blowing up her comments & Chris gets irritated/mad

C’mere - Chris calms you down after a bad day.

Hangover - After coming back from a party in the middle of the night your hungover the next morning. He starts teasing you before having se, telling her that it’s the best way for hangover.

I’m Yours* - You get jealous and insecure after Chris shoots an intimate scene with his ex-girlfriend.

Too Tired - Chris and the you have a door-slamming, voice-raising, tear-filled kind of fight which ends with sleeping in separate rooms. Well, trying to until he realizes he can’t sleep without you.

The Kiss* - Making up after an argument

Phone Call - Chris gets a call in the middle of the night after you get in a car accident.

Leave Me Alone - Chris forgets your first anniversary together

My Mistake - You guys have a fight the night Chris planned to propose–but he’s been acting distant. You think he was cheating or falling out of love with you. You were very wrong.

“I can’t do this anymore” - You want to spend more time with Chris but when arguing he gets defensive and says he wants a break instead.

Perfect Night - Chris proposes while on a trip to Paris together

Change Your Ticket - Your boyfriend, Chris doesn’t want you to leave. So he’ll make sure you never have to leave again.

You - Telling Chris your pregnant after a rough patch in your relationship.

Happy Birthday - Telling Chris your ready to have a baby on his birthday.

Interviews and Special News - Chris and you are married and going through a round of press interviews, although the movie isn’t the only thing your worried about spoiling.

Lazy Day - A lazy day while your pregnant with Chris.

Pregnancy and Dogs - Dodger is protective of you when your pregnant

Baby Talk - Talking to your nine month old son like he’s on adult

Vaccine - Your daughter needs to get a vaccine shot and thankfully Chris is there to make it all better

Birthday Cake - It’s your daughter’s first birthday, and you wanted to make her first birthday cake.

Catwoman vs Captain America - You are married to Chris Evans, who is known for his role as Captain America from the Marvel Universe. You are an actress and landed the role of Catwoman from the DC universe. Of course a bit of rivalry will occur.

Not in Front of the Children - Chris and you spend the morning with your lovely little family. Between making breakfast, longing embraces, and sharing cute anecdotes of their daughter.

Series

Daddy Hair Care

Prologue - waking the morning after not knowing what happened after you went home with Chris

Surrender to Me

Prologue - You see Chris as more than a friend.

Headcanons

From friends to lovers

Being Younger & Dating Chris Evans.....

Dating Chris Evans Would Include.....

Taking your virginity

Being afraid that Chris won’t like you anymore because you’ve gained a little weight

Preferences

When You Like to Sleep in Inappropriate Positions and Places

Aesthetic

The Evans Family

Quotes

Talking about Brie Larson being Captain Marvel

Gif Sets

Interviews

Talking about his mom

“Being Good is in our nature”

Talking about Skydiving on Ellen

The Hollywood Reporter Photoshoot

Favorite drink - Men’s Journal

Chris + Plaid (2015/2019)

Award Shows

Presenting at the Oscars with Henry Cavill

On Set Captain America: The First Avenger (2010)

Pre Serum Steve mid transformation (pic)

Before We Go

“Thank You for not saying stupid”

On set of Gifted (2015)

Bts with McKenna Grace

On Set Of Avengers: Endgame (2017)

Bts of the funeral via Tom Holland

Avengers: Endgame Press Junket (April 2019)

With Chris Hemsworth at Shanghai Fan Event

Film Roles

2000 vs 2014

Not Another Teen Movie (2001)

The movie cellular (2004)

The Movie The Pefect Score (2004)

Puncture (2011)

Captain America: Civil War (2016) Gag Reel

Chris in Lobby Hero (March 2018)

Human Torch vs Captain America parallel

[mrssnider13]

Jason’s 40th Birthday

Jason and I have known each other since 1997-1998.

We dated on and off for several years and for several reasons.

In 2002 we both got involved with other people and we both ended up being parents in 2003 to Jason to Jason Jr and me to my son, Brison.

Jason and I reconnect on and off again over the next two years.

In Jan of 2007 I moved to KY and got married. I thought about Jason all the time. It never failed that every time I would come home to Ohio I would run into him at Walmart or the gas station. My 1st marriage was rough and we eventually separated in 2010 and in August of 2011 I moved back home to Ohio. It was that November that Jason got out of rehab and we connected on messenger. I was getting moved into my new apt and I asked Jason to help me move.... He moved in with me very soon after.

The first three years of our relationship were HARD to say the least! Jason worked so hard on his program and recovery, and working a job with anyone that would take him on, meetings, service/volunteer work, probation, court dates, license classes, restitution,  court and probation fees and so much more.

Were we ready to be in a relationship? NO! But God knew we had what it would take and we knew we couldn’t do it without God. God’s plans were so much bigger than ours!

In 2012 while pregnant with Olivia we almost called it quits. But thankfully we had family and friends that believed in us and encouraged us to persevere.

We have been tested beyond comprehension. On February 14th 2012 Jason went to probation and received a failed drug test. Our hearts sank but our spirits stood strong! We knew better and we prayed that God would reveal the truth. And a few LONG days later He did! After sending the test off to the lab they confirmed it was a clean test.

In March of 2013 we got married and 3 days later we had Olivia. Just a month later in April of 2013 God blessed Jason with his contracted job through P&G. This was HUGE for us! It was an affirmation from God. We were amazed.

In March of 2014 we were faced with another pregnancy. I was so scared and I didn’t want to be pregnant. We were in no financial situation to support a larger family and we lived in a 600 sq. ft. apartment. 12 weeks later I started bleeding and went to the doctor. It was then that we found out that we were pregnant with twins. Speaking for myself (and I’m sure Jason as well) I was terrified. I feared that I wouldn’t even carry them to term let alone deliver them and be able to provide for them.

We immediately starting looking for a bigger place to live but were faced with the limitations of finances. We prayed and searched and God again opened another door for us. We were blessed to find a 3 bedroom home to rent south of Hillsboro. We moved in November 1st 2014 and on Dec 26th we had the twins a month early. Happy, healthy and beautiful. Then we came home to our water being turn off. That was fun. But it was just a misunderstanding and things were fixed the next day.

Life was a challenge at this point. Money, sanity, sleep, faith, endurance, trust. Definitly one day at a time.

May 5th 2015 we were faced again with another test of faith. In a freak accident Jason severely injured, Izabelle, our 4 month old twin. She was air cared to Children’s hospital with a fractured skull and bleeding on her brain. CPS met us that the ICU waiting room. Jason was beside him self, worried sick about his baby girl and not caring about what was about to happen to him. The interrogation was intense and all I wanted to do was be with my daughter at the moment. CPS just wanted the truth and the truth sounded far fetched. By the grace of God Izzy spent 3 days in ICU and was moved to a regular room for 2 days and got to come home. Jason on the other hand faced the judge. I thank God every day that the truth was again revealed and Jason only received 12 weeks of anger management. It could have been so much worse. But what was so incredibly hard was that for 12 weeks Jason couldn’t live with us and he could only see us in public or supervised visitations. That was a LONG 3 months!!! Thankfully we had family and friends to help me with the girls but I would have much rather had my husband. God knew what Jason needed and we trusted that. We were SO GLAD to have him home!

Life seemed good for awhile. Then in the summer of 2016 we faced another trial that turned our world upside down. All we could do is trust God and be still. Pray and trust and only move when God lead us to. We recovered the best we could and somewhat moved on.

Then the tides started to change a little. We were blessed in 2016 with the opportunity to buy the home we were renting. We bought our first home yall!   4-5 years prior..... that seemed unimaginable, let alone possible.

Once again life settled for a minute and after 2 years of Jason begging and much needed prayer on my end we decided to try for another baby. Jason hoped for a boy. I hoped for just one LOL. In Sept 2017 I got pregnant with our 6th. In Nov (just two months later) God revealed to us yet more affirmation! He had blessed Jason with a position at P&G as a P&G employee and not just a contracted worker. Once again we were elated and blessed beyond what we deserved. Then in May 2018 we were blessed again with ONE chubby baby GIRL!

We have had our ups and downs like everyone but for the most part life was GREAT! We worked hard, played hard and lived well. For about a year... Then the trails came 3 at a time. In 2019 I lost my mamaw in April, Jason lost one of his best friends in May and then we all lost Jason’s mom in June. Why God, crossed my mind multiple times a day. To say that I was worried about Jason in the midst of my own heartache would be an understatement. I had to let go and let God have him and I knew it. There was nothing I could but be there. Jason was so strong! He gave the eulogy at both my mamaw and his mom’s funeral. Neither one could have been done any better or anymore heart felt and passionate.

Jason inherited his mom’s place and we picked up our kiddos and moved. There was a lot of transitions, change and adjusting for all of us. The girls had a very hard time with all the grief and loss but received group counseling that changed their lives for the better. It wasn’t until a year later that our other home sold. As much as it hurt, so much of all of it is a blur. 

And yet, here we are today....... It’s hard for me to even wrap my mind around all that we’ve been through and all that God has helped us overcome.

I told you all some of our story to tell you this.....

Yes, we have suffered, but there is no one else that I would have rather suffered with than my husband, Jason. Yes, we have lost much. Yes, we have failed ourselves, failed each other and others. Yes, we have been hurt and lost....... but....... here we stand, still together and even stronger and closer than before. ONLY by the grace of God. We suffer for the glory of God, for the deepening of our faith in Him and for the testimony to share God’s love and hope with others.

I thank God for Jason. He’s a great man of God, he has a servant’s heart, he’s a hard worker and he provides for his family - not only what we need but then some. He loves his kids in a way I can’t even describe. His love is unconditional and intentional for sure. He leaves me with no doubts that he loves me faithfully. On this earth he is my rock and my refuge. He is a gift from God sent just for me. I love and cherish him with everything I have and I often wish I could be and give more to him.  

But before I get too mushy I just want to say Thank you to everyone in our lives that have helped sustain us through the bad times and celebrated with us in the good times.

Jason, I hope you feel all the love being given to you this day. You deserve it and so much more. I love you! Happy Birthday!

[detroit-become-human-analyze]

Detroit: Become Human - Chronology and timeline of events... (CANON)

The chronology and timeline of events ( https://detroit-become-human.fandom.com/wiki/Chronology ) in the world of Detroit: Become Human.

pre-1960

1915: Birth of Arnold Brook.

1917: Zlatko Andronikov's family flees the revolution in Russia.

1960s

1963: Birth of Carl Manfred (July 13).

1970s

1978: Birth of Michael Brinkley (January 24), Amanda Stern (May 14).

1980s

1980: Birth of Gordon Penwick (June 10).

1982: Birth of Dennis Ward (June 11), Jeffrey Fowler (August 8).

1983: Birth of Christopher Gray (June 18).

1985: Birth of Hank Anderson (September 6), Cristina Warren (September 15).

1987: Birth of Jonah Graham (December 9).

1988: Birth of Joseph Sheldon (August 14), Gary Kayes (December 3).

1989: Birth of Derek Myers (May 7), Ben Collins (September 12).

1990s

1991: Birth of Zlatko Andronikov (September 21).

1992: Birth of Douglas Mitchell (August 10).

1993: Birth of Rose Chapman (March 31).

1994: Birth of Captain Allen (December 2).

1995: Birth of Edward Dempsey (February 8), Richard Perkins (July 13), Todd Williams (September 21).

1998:

1999: Birth of  Isaac Falone (March 10), Elizabeth Wilson (March 25), John Phillips (October 11).

Death of Arnold Brook.[1]

Birth of Chris Roberts (May 16).

2000s

2000: Birth of Michael Webb (September 9).

2001: Birth of Jimmy Peterson (February 1), Caroline Phillips (May 23).

2002: Birth of Elijah Kamski (July 17), Gavin Reed (October 7).

2005: Birth of Pedro Aabdar (January 25), Rosanna Cartland (December 12).

2008: Birth of Carlos Ortiz (October 27).

2009: Birth of Nathan Clark (August 18), Chris Miller (September 30).

2010s

2010: Birth of Leo Manfred (March 21), Joss Douglas (October 24).

2012: Birth of Samuel McCray (April 10).

2013: Birth of Adam Chapman (August 5).

2018: Elijah Kamski founds CyberLife, creates first androids.

2020s

2021: Release of RT600 "Chloe".

2022: RT600 Chloe first android to pass the Turing test.

2024:

2027: CyberLife sells 1 millionth android.

2028:

2028or 2029: United States pass the Android Act.

2029: Hank Anderson promoted to the rank of lieutenant (reported on August 22).

Release of ST200 "Chloe", first industrially produced android.

CyberLife leased a disused warehouse. (Extras Gallery)

CyberLife starts the commercial production of androids.

KNC's interview with Chloe (April 25).

Release of JB100 OR Andy (12-2027).

Death of Amanda Stern (February 23).

Elijah Kamski named Century magazine's "Man of the Century". Later, Kamski resigns as CEO and leaves CyberLife.

Red Ice Task Force dismantles a Red Ice network (reported on February 3).

Birth of Emma Phillips (September 2).

Release of EM400 (2028), Jerry (06-2028).

Birth of Cole Anderson (September 23).

Release of PC200 and PM700.

2030s

2030:

2031:

2032: Release of AX400, Kara (04-2032).

2033:

2034:

2035:

2036:

2037: Rose Chapman starts helping deviants.

2038: the year Detroit: Become Human takes place.

CyberLife reaches market valuation of $850bn.

Release of TR400 OR Luther (01-2030), HK400 OR Carlos' Android (05-2031), URS12 Android Bear (10-2030).

Androids introduced into the United States military and Michigan law enforcement. Red Ice Task Force seizes boat with nearly 1t Red Ice (reported on November 23).

Release of Ralph (/WR600?) and PJ500 (2031), Josh (11-2031).

Birth of Sumo (April 2031).

Release of JB300 336 445 581 (/JB300?) (05-2033), YK500, Alice (07-2033).

Carlos Ortiz spent several stays in a psychiatric hospital in 2033.

Release of PL600 (2034), Simon (02-2034).

April 2034 Season Finals Detroit's Champions Take An Early Lead (Basketball Magazine poster around Hank's Desk)

Release of "Traci"s WR400 and HR400 (2035), North (10-2035).

Death of Cole Anderson (October 11)[8].

Detroit Gears basketball Playoffs (Seen at Hank's desk)

Cristina Warren elected President of the United States.

Carlos Ortiz spent several stays in a psychiatric hospital in 2036.

Release of KL900 OR Lucy, Rupert (possibly plus WB200?).

Reported missing: Simon (February 16), Rupert (October 11).

Death of Rose Chapman's husband (estimated, "died 2 years ago" in 2038[9]).

2038

The year 2038 is the temporal setting of Detroit: Become Human.

global population 10 billion.[10]

January-July

Edit

January

February

The first DPD case file about deviants ("dates back nine months")[11]

March

April

May

June

July

August

RK800 "Connor" released (08-2038).

Birth of Damian Miller ("three months ago" in November).

Aug 15th: Chapter "The Hostage".

around 7:30 PM: Daniel takes Emma Phillips hostage.

Death of John Phillips (estimated 07:29 PM), Officer Antony Deckart (estimated 08:03 PM), and another officer (found dead in the pool). Officer M. Wilson is wounded by Daniel, death optional.

CyberLife sends RK800 Connor as a hostage negotiator. ITM televises the hostage situation.

08:29 PM: Chapter "The Hostage" begins. Connor arrives at the Phillips apartment.

08:30 PM: DPD reports that a deviant android is involved. (ITM report)

September

09/14: An android waiter (AV500 #234 777 821) in Fast Coney Dogs attacks Charles Bell and escapes.

October

10/04: Gordon Lopez's AL series android disappears. North deviates at a customer's home and escapes.

10/05: Eden Club manager Floyd Mills reports to the police that North is missing.

10/06: North arrives in Jericho (North has been in Jericho "4 weeks, 3 days, 11 hours" on Nov 6 after 5 PM).

around 10/17: Carlos Ortiz killed by Carlos' Android. (Based on his body being dead for 19 days on Nov 5th)

10/22: An android (AP700 #480 913 802) attacks her owner Sarah Cornwal, the house, and escapes.

November

Friday Nov 5th: Chapters: Shades of Color, The Opening, A New Home, The Painter, Partners, Stormy Night, Broken, Fugitives

CyberLife zoo opens in Detroit.

Several Russian warships have taken position in the Barents Sea since Saturday October 30th. (CTN news)

09:38 AM: Chapter "Shades of Color" begins. Markus arrives in Greektown to pick up Carl's paint from Bellini Paints.

09:58 AM: Chapter "The Painter" begins. Markus arrives back at Carl Manfred's House.

03:24 PM: Chapter "The Opening" begins. Todd Williams picks up Kara at Android Zone.

04:53 PM: Chapter "A New Home" begins. Todd and Kara arrive at Todd Williams' house.

"around 8" (PM or AM): Landlord calls police because he found Carlos Ortiz's corpse.

09:14 PM: Chapter "Stormy Night" begins. Dinner in the Williams house.

09:42 PM: Chapter "Broken" begins. Markus and Carl arrive home from the opening of Carl Manfred's retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art.

10:58 PM: Chapter "Fugitives" begins. Kara and Alice to get off the bus in Camden.

11:21 PM: Chapter "Partners" begins. Connor arrives at Jimmy's Bar to pick up Hank Anderson.

Saturday Nov 6th: Chapters:

The Interrogation, From the Dead, Waiting for Hank..., On the Run, Jericho, The Nest, Time to Decide, Zlatko, Russian Roulette, Spare Parts, The Eden Club

During the night: Russian carrier and American patrol boat reported to have exchanged warning shots in Arctic, no casualties. (~CTN news[11])

KNC reports on the first artificial intelligence to write a book.

CTN reports that a CyberLife prototype detective android is assisting the DPD. (~CTN news[11][15])

President Cristina Warren makes speech to Congress, demanding that Russian troops withdraw from the Arctic region. (~CTN news[8])

N/A: Severe hurricanes blight Mid-West, dozens killed. (seen under the scrolling header during Waiting for Hank.)   (~CTN news[8])

12:41 AM: Chapter "The Interrogation" begins. Hank interrogates Carlos' Android.

03:34 AM: Chapter "From the Dead" begins. Markus reboots in Solid Waste Landfill.

08:42 AM: Todd Williams' dead body is found by a friend and reported to the police. (If killed by Alice or Kara)

09:56 AM: Chapter "Waiting for Hank..." begins. Connor talks to Amanda. Then arrives at DPD Central Station.

10:25 AM: Chapter "On the Run" begins. Kara wakes in Camden.

03:02 PM: Chapter "The Nest" begins. Hank eats at Chicken Feed.

04:30 PM: Chapter "Jericho" begins. Markus travels to Ferndale Station.

06:24 PM (estimated[16]): Death of Michael Graham at Eden Club.

05:13 PM: Chapter "Time to Decide" begins. Markus meets Jericho androids.

07:45 PM: Chapter "Zlatko" begins. Kara and Alice arrive at Zlatko Andronikov's House.

07:51 PM: Chapter "Russian Roulette" begins. Connor talks to Amanda. Then visits Hank Anderson's home.

08:01 PM: Chapter "Spare Parts" begins. Jericho androids raid CyberLife Warehouse and Docks.

08:17 PM: Chapter "The Eden Club" begins. Connor and Hank arrive at the Eden Club.

Sunday Nov 7th:

Chapters: The Pirates' Cove, The Bridge, The Stratford Tower

01:02 AM: Chapter "The Pirates' Cove" begins. Kara's group travels by car.

01:19 AM: Chapter "The Bridge" begins. Connor and Hank in Riverside Park.

09:24 AM: Chapter "The Stratford Tower" begins. Markus sits on a street bench and gets an idea.

Monday Nov 8th:

Chapters: The Stratford Tower cont., Public Enemy, Midnight Train

01:30 PM: Chapter "The Stratford Tower" cont. Markus infiltrates the Stratford Tower.

01:59 PM: Markus is recording the message in Stratford Tower (Connor' "Pupil Reflection" scan is timestamped "13:59:54").

04:06 PM: Chapter "Public Enemy" begins. Connor talks to Amanda. Then Connor and Hank arrive at Stratford Tower Floor 79.

05:10 PM: Chapter "Midnight Train" begins. Kara's group arrives at Rose's Farm.

Tuesday Nov 9th:

Chapters: Capitol Park, Meet Kamski, Freedom March, Last Chance, Connor, Crossroads

01:51 AM: Chapter "Capitol Park" begins. Jericho androids discuss Stratford broadcast.

02:00 AM: Jericho android teams attack the five CyberLife stores in Detroit simultaneously. Markus and North arrive at Capitol Park 10 minutes previous.

11:17 AM: Chapter "Meet Kamski" begins. Hank (+/- Connor) arrives at Elijah Kamski's house.

12:04 PM: Chapter "Freedom March" begins. Markus on roof, reflecting.

04:13 PM: Chapter "Last Chance, Connor" begins. Connor talks to Amanda. At DPD, Connor has to find Jericho.

N/A: Military androids removed from service(~CTN news), resulting in armed forces losing 2/3 of effective personnel. Androids are ordered to be turned over to the authorities, to be delivered to the nearest police station or army barracks, to be put in camps. The lack of androids shuts down services and utilities such as hospitals, schools, water, electricity, networks. (~KNC news[19]) Detroit is under curfew.

09:34 PM: Chapter "Crossroads" begins. Kara's group is driving to find Jericho.

10:45 PM: FBI and military raid on Jericho (~Warren press announcement)

Wednesday Nov 10th:

Chapters: Night of the Soul

06:00 AM: national curfew declared (~Warren press announcement)

Chapter "Night of the Soul" begins.

04:17 PM: Markus visits Carl's grave. (Pay Respects)

07:31 PM: Markus visits Carl's house. (Welcome Home) Then Markus in church (Markus on Sacred Ground). OR Jericho androids in church without Markus. (Connor/North on Sacred Ground)

07:31 PM or N/A: Connor speaks to Amanda (Thin Ice), visits Hank (Hank's House).

N/A: Android leader gives speech in undiscovered Jericho. (Markus/North Among the People)

09:24 PM: President Cristina Warren press announcement on Jericho raid, curfew etc. (Battle for Detroit)

Thursday Nov 11th:

Chapters: Battle for Detroit (events from multiple paths)

N/A: The U.S. Army has set up temporary camps in most major cities (Los Angeles, Chicago, Houston, Boston, San Francisco) to gather and destroy androids. (KNC News report, which is heard in Kamski's house if everyone died)

"at/since dawn": Androids take to the streets, either in peaceful demonstration (Markus Demonstration) OR fighting to liberate camps (Markus Revolution).

10:48 PM: Connor arrives at CyberLife Tower. (Connor at the CyberLife Tower)

10:51 PM: Kara's group in West Side Industrial on the way to Bus Terminal. (Kara Leaving Detroit)

10:56 PM: Androids march down Woodward Avenue onto Hart Plaza (Markus Demonstration/Revolution/North)

11:01 PM:

11:02 PM: Kara's group reaches Bus Terminal. (Kara Leaving Detroit, Risky Checkpoint)

11:06 PM: Kara's group enters Enclosure. (Kara Captured)

11:07 PM:

11:08 PM:

11:15 PM: Kara's group reaches Bus Terminal. (Kara Leaving Detroit, Safer Detour)

11:15-30 PM: Last bus from Detroit Bus Terminal departs to Canada Border. Cross-border bus service is suspended afterwards.

11:16 PM: Hart Plaza barricade is attacked. (Markus Demonstration)

11:26 PM:

11:30 PM: Kara's group arrives at US-Canada Border. (Kara Leaving Detroit)

11:36 PM: Kara's group enters Canada. (Kara Leaving Detroit)

11:57 PM: Kara's group arrives at banks of Detroit River, Canada. (Kara Leaving Detroit)

presumably before midnight: President Cristina Warren gives speech (Battle for Detroit).

Connor arrives at Floor -49. (Connor at the CyberLife Tower) OR Connor on Hart Plaza rooftop. (Connor's Last Mission)

Androids at Hart Plaza launch attack. (Revolution)

Connor vs Connor-60. (Connor at the CyberLife Tower)

Hart Plaza final assault, Markus vs Connor, vs tank. (Revolution)

Androids in Hart Plaza barricade. Perkins offers deal. (Markus Demonstration)

Kara's group facing destruction in Hart Plaza camp. (Kara Captured)

Hart Plaza androids arrested, Markus killed (Markus Demonstration, surrender)

Kara's group arrives at banks of Detroit River, Delray. (Kara Leaving Detroit)

Friday Nov 12th:

Chapters: Battle for Detroit cont.

12:01 AM: Hart Plaza and CyberLife Tower android groups meet. Android leader gives speech. OR Machine Connor checks on Markus's corpse, after the latter's surrender to Perkins.

07:37 AM: Kara's group wakes in Solid Waste Landfill. (Kara Captured)

[thepausedsforzando]

III. The Paused Sforzando

Part I. The End To The Remaining Effort

*******Introduction*******

   It’s been 5 years. 5 years and a month just about. This post looks weird in public because it’s first one. It’s also marked as III. On October 8th, 2019 I nuked my entire Tumblr. Actually, I nuked all 3: hunkee, digitalclothingofhunkee and thepsychologyofdarthvader. That was a heavy day. This series has been shotty and inconsistent, in that gaps have become bigger and the details have lessened. This could likely be due to the feedback and problems I’ve had with people in my posts when I would talk about personal things that were not only private for me but for them. Primarily, these inconsistencies and gaps are because I’ve slowly descended into more of a void of a human being than I ever thought I could be when my life was right. January 6th, 2016. That’s where we last left off. “We” now means, and has always meant, current Matthew, as well as the one who will be reading this. If any Where are we now? Corny, I know, but you wanted to type it.

   I have always dreamed of having a Tumblr where I had literally 0 holdbacks. If it was disturbing or could easily be misunderstood, I’d post it anyway. But coming from a Christian background where the Christian homeschool choirs I was in had its dark pockets of judgement, it, or more than just it, made me severely self-conscious. But that is tied deeper to why I care about what others think, and how their attention makes or breaks me as a human being. But I’m getting head of myself. On purpose.

   hunkee, and it’s other 2 sisters were that of restriction. No more. So many have lost touched, forgotten and abandoned me, so who fucking cares now. I may still care. I’m showing it right now, but I’ll contradict that.

   One thing I will hold back on is the private information of loved ones who never got a voice to choose whether or not to have their private lives posted here. I am transparent and honest to an extreme, and it’s gotten me in trouble more than I ever thought or wanted to. Therefore, what you will be seeing is the second draft, edited to filter out private events out of love and/or respect to those who didn’t get a voice. They will be edited with summaries and I may even redact names or change said names. Those people deserve it. And I should have known back then. But you can’t know everything. I could have learned faster, but respect is being shown nonetheless.

   Alot has happened from January 6th, 2016 to February 5th, 2021. What I choose to be here will be here, and other installments will follow. Where we last left off was- well before I say it, let me show you the progression:

- 2009: The end of my childhood and innocence - 2010: a solid year of happiness in the first chapter of adulthood - 2011: not bad - 2012: The beginning of the dark renaissance; the start of it all - 2013: The Darkness: The darkest point, the breakdown, the intervention and the beginning of me stopping any care and any effort. Laziness became my life. - 2014: The Void: Through trying with little effort, the numbness grew - 2015: I literally forgot most of 2015. The Void at its highest - 2016: The End: The year that I gave up, after 5 years of trying through abandonment. - 2017: Committing to my abandonment. - 2018: Rebirth: The slow growth of the tiniest voice within me. - 2019: Pause #1: Amber - 2020: ugh: - 2021: ugh:

Let’s just begin.

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   As per usual, let’s recap from the 16th. My name is Matthew. I’m 24 and a half years old. I work at Patsco Windshield Repair and had for about a month. I have been living back at my parents now for 2 years and about 4 months. I’d been single for 1 year and 2 months. I still had my Roth IRA and likely got rid of my savings account due to poor management of my money. I had suppressed my love for Amber again, and it wouldn’t be the last time. I was emotionally void after raging and depressing for years. My life had no meaning, nor did I really have many friends or any social interactions. I had a car. I can’t remember what bills I dealt with, but it was likely phone, insurance, health insurance and idk.

   Life at Patsco was pretty lame. I would drive to the corner of a parking lot on a busy road, hold up a sign for a while and repair people’s windshields. Calling insurance companies and cleaning headlights. Great for a high schooler; pathetic that I was there in life at 24. The pay was $12/hr. I forgot if the hours were good. But the best thing that happened then was I read Dante Alighieri’s Inferno. I fell in love with that book. Standing on the grass next to cars at the red light of whatever intersection I was assigned that day. Immersed in the world and loving the darkness. I found beauty in dark things and gravitated towards hateful content. Who would have figured.

   Patsco didn’t last very long. Maybe I got fired, I think I did. My memory has deteriorated so much over the past x amount of years. As has my attention span. And effort. Anyway, it usually takes me 1-3 months to find work, and on April whenever, I became a delivery driver for Jimmy John’s. Yet again, a low end, dead end job. I lasted just about 2 years. I asked Asia to let me stay long enough to make it an even two years, but she couldn’t stand me and it didn’t go that long.

   Amber had either come back or was always there. For private reasons, someone in her life had jealously forbade me to come over and witness the birth of her first child. That didn't fucking happen with her second. I was there. More on that later.

   Remembering 2015, 2016 and 2017 is hard. I'm having to pull up my resume, previous entries of this series and go back to where I was then. By the time Jimmy John’s rolled around, I’d been back home for over 2 and a half years. Being numb and unmotivated, I was also an asshole to live with. I treated my mother horribly. There is much to get into about what I have learned about her over the years and why we clash, but I always handled it wrong and I still do. Too lazy to confront her. She saw me at my worst. Whatever I could do out loud, she mostly saw and had to be the victim of it. She didn’t deserve it.

   What I write about tends to focus on home, mom and dad, work, cars and not much else. I’ve neglected to mention Eva but once. I feel bad that in a forgetful and numb phase, I forgot when I met Eva. I met her on MeetMe, a social app for meeting people that too many guys used as a dating site. It was really, really pathetic. But I was open to meeting a significant other too I bet. There goes the hypocrisy. Take note. I just didn’t advertise it and let whatever unfolded, unfold.  Before I mention Eva, what happened on MeetMe is notable. I just didn’t advertise it and I'd let whatever unfolded unfold. This is where I was at: I met someone who lived across the road from me named Evie. I put what I wanted onto her and god fucking dammit I was creepy. We were barely just talking and I was gushing over her. She was pretty and I wanted to be with someone.

   My obsession with women had always been a tame problem that sprouted when it got to be intense. In 2011, when the neglect started, my creepiness, lack of social interactions and desire to have a girlfriend got weirder. Every girl that was remotely attractive, or not even that attractive was ‘so right for me’ and I’d pursue. Ashley, Andrea, Christa, Amy. I can’t even remember them all. It was every. fucking. woman. that came to Josh's and I's house. Someone I hadn’t been vibing with or talking to in the first place. That’s the key, you get to know someone and if they move that way WITH you, then it’s something. I always bash guys for pursuing if THEY want it, whether they’ve talked to them much or not. In my own way, I did that. I just didn’t assert myself as hard because in this context, it would have been awkward.

   Evie casually told me where she worked. We were barely acquaintances and had never met or even had each others’ numbers. And when I saw she was getting off work one night, I bought her the candy she said she loved and walked over to her in front of the store at night, basically a total stranger, and gave her the Reese’s after clarifying who I was. She was extremely quiet. I bet she didn’t eat those candies because she thought the psycho who I guess you could say stalked her poisoned them and is going to kidnap her. Fuck me that was stupid. But that’s where I was at. My desire got stronger and more obsessive over these 4 years. This might have happened in 2015. Either way, I was doing things that were not Matthew. Using a woman for sex, stalking one, and Naomi....Poor Naomi.

   We were talking as friends. She was beautiful. I wanted someone. She did NOT want to find a significant other. When she was reaching out for someone to talk to, it was a friend to confide in. And she made that clear. I lowkey pursued her romantically. We’d meet down the street of her house and park in a parking lot close by. We’d talk deeply, about her hard life. And I would be there for her. Once I told her my intentions, we stopped talking. She was upset, and had every right to be. When I was pursuing Amber 3 years prior, I was putting her newborn to sleep and said ‘can you say “daddy?”’...............................it’s hard for me to bring that up because as wrong as it was and I probably knew at the time, now I can’t....I can’t even explain the awkwardness and shame I feel for saying that. Like I devolved from already clingy/kinda obsessive/maybe on occasion creepy to.....that. To a newborn whose mother....I can’t remember if she liked me at that time. I think she did. ReGARDLESS.

   The last time I wasn’t like this was Ana. in late 2011/early2012. I was never perfect as I’ve said like 3 times with regards to my intense emotions towards girlfriends. Hell, I wasn’t bad at all to Nicole. But this loneliness, that was a combination of my fault and other things that made me do things I regret. I had my first one night stand years ago. Attaining friends was through the screen of my phone. I couldn’t make friends. I lost my ability to be social. I became more socially awkward. Pursuing women wasn’t successful, and my desire had gone out of control.

   Here I am, miles away from the original point: Eva. She was a female and I was looking for a relationship. Desiring love, affection and to get fucking laid. It came in the form of many creepy endeavors. I wasn’t as terrible with Eva. I liked her because I liked every female that came in contact with me. So it wasn’t even genuine when I told her. But we got past that. Wasn’t trying to get in her pants or anything heinous. But as that small phase passed, for the first time in years, I gained a friend. I made a new friend........it’s not that it’s hard, but was for me. I can’t think of the last time I made a new friend. But I hit the jackpot. No one is more loyal than Eva.

   She was an actual friend. She listened to me. I listened to her. We cared for each other. She invited me to her house and to outings with her friends. She cared about me. Someone finally did. It was nothing to her. Like it should be nothing to anyone else: you have friends and you spend time with them. But it was the universe and all its stars to me. I made a big deal out of it for reasons you already know. She was the true friend I needed, but got so late. I felt included, I felt cared about and I felt wanted. I think she’d even text me first! That doesn’t exist anymore! She became a bright spot, but it didn’t change what was coming.

   I got mad at Jimmy John’s. Aggressive driving, maybe dealing with the occasional dick ‘cause I was in an upper middle class (some would say rich) area of town. Having been void for so long, I felt I was at a dead end. I think I was friends with Eva by then. I had only been at Jimmy John’s for a month, not even. 2 days before Mother’s Day was when it finally happened.

   Despite the angel that had come into my life, I was still lazy and numb, but I feel I was more angry at this point. Regardless, on May 6th, 2016, I officially gave up. From neglect to anger to depression to laziness, it had all culminated to this. It came in waves: neglect, anger, depression, suicidal ideation, hopelessness, self-attack, breakdown, intervention, self-abandonment, extreme sloth, numbness beyond the realm of textual representation, sick of my state, denying help, anger and then release. Release of it all. When I say ‘I gave up’, that seems so small in text, but defined ‘the rest of my life’. This had been culminating for 4 years and I finally just gave up. Career? never. Healthy diet? never. Friends? They already all left me so nothing’s gonna change ‘cause it hasn’t. Love? either I said I can’t ‘cause of my mental state or idk. Being happy? it hasn’t been possible.

    I adopted a new phrase: Until death. It kept repeating in my head. I had a new set of goals and motivation in my life. My goal was to avoid being happy. It was to never seek love or really get anything serious, idk. My goal was never to get a better paying job, but get enough just to live on my own. Push everyone away, not get lied to by people’s flakiness. Be in a shitty apartment and watch my 30′s, 40′s, 50′s and maybe even 60′s alone. Eat junk food and clog my arteries as no one cares and everyone has forgotten me. What’s the use. I tried. I FUCKING TRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I couldn’t do it. After 4 years, I was alone, I had no social life, I couldn’t score a woman and I was too creepy to even get close to the first step, I had eaten junk food most of my life and it was affecting my mental and physical health, I couldn’t hold a job, I couldn’t advance because I couldn’t stay long enough, my mental health was blocking my success rate before I started telling people it was blocking my success rate, I was at odds with my parents, Missy was in Chicago, no matter what I did I just couldn’t progress. It wasn’t worth it. I just let it go. My life and my desire to be happy. And that was a commitment. Hard as it would be for my family to have to endure that, I didn’t do it for them. And they didn’t have to suffer. But they did.

   Missy graduated the year we're talking about now. To preface that, the whole family had vacationed to New Orleans sometime.....2014? idk, but my mental state and circumstances had made me a recluse. My family was outgoing, talking with Uber drivers and the person kind enough to let us use their house instead of a hotel. They experienced New Orleans and were having fun. But not me. I was not fully there. I was withholding myself from participating. I was quiet. if you knew me when I was myself, I was the opposite of quiet and shy. But the darkness had just become me. I was barely participating, sitting away from people and not saying a word, focusing on rooting my phone and occasionally talking about it, not talking to humans outside of my family and not speaking with a sad, distant, vacant expression.

    I learned something through my silence. Usually, if there were family problems, I’d be overly involved and not able to think straight ‘cause I’m thinking of all the perspectives and dividing my attention up multifold. I wasn’t like this in New Orleans. When I said nothing, I got to listen more; I got to see what I hadn’t seen all this time. Or at least what I didn’t bring into focus all my life. And that was more true sides of my family through their interactions. The fighting over nothing and people from different perspectives. The escalations and how my family just doesn’t understand each other. If anyone else is reading this but me, you can learn more than you can possibly imagine when you say little to nothing, sit back and let the conversation you normally are involved in happen in front of you. Don’t interact, just let it happen. Watch what you don’t pick up. Our compassion is valid; we can also get carried away and not notice what’s fully going on right in front of our faces.

    Much changed from that much as I used to. Optimism is ideal in moderation, as is everything else. My father was so aperspective shift. I learned more about where we are as a family and I didn’t brush it under the rug as ngry that my standout silence and being a weird, burdensome stick in the mud of a family vacation was affecting everyone and our time together. Not to mention my sister moved out...........2013? I forget. She had been in Chicago so we don’t see her everyday. Things had changed. I had moved back, but for a small amount of time, mom and dad had the place to themselves. That part of your kids growing up and leaving. He confronted me angrily and I learned something else by what he said. You would think he would say something based on how I’ve prefaced this, but instead what uttered from is angry face was:

“Do you have any idea how much money I’ve spent?!”

    Sometimes, maybe many times, the way you say something or the first thing you say reflects where your focus is at. I disagree this is always the case. But in that moment, I believe as a man whose life revolved around providing for his family for 20 years, became focused on that primarily. The man can love. The man loves him family incomprehensibly. Never doubt that. But I learned not only of his perspective but how men (traditionally and mostly) make their life’s purpose of providing....larger than love, communication and interaction. All of that is still there in my father at this point, but when it wasn’t, I learned why.

    Back to the point, Missy was graduating. I had been at Jimmy John’s a bit and even though New Orleans was a while ago, I only got worse for vacations. And going to Chicago was..........terrible. My sister had always been a social butterfly and extravertive. Our personalities were now white and black. I didn’t know how to talk to people. I didn’t know how to socialize. I didn’t want to. I’d been burned so much that I forgot how to be a human being, and also tried not to be. The silence and seclusion as people were in my sister’s living room, talking, was bizarre. People would kindly ask me about me and raise small talk and I don’t remember how much I’d say if I said anything. I think I’d straight up ignore people. It was extremely awkward. I was introvertive, shy, quiet, ignoring and reserved like I was an extreme trauma victim or a mute (no offence meant to either an victim of a crippling trauma or mutes). My sister was in love and trying with this man that turned out to be an asshole. But at the time, my sister was showing me her life and a very important man in her life and I was just letting it pass me by. Was it as simple as just getting over it? Faking it and putting on a face? That, is the opposite of who I am, and I couldn’t just shake this off. I was alone for 4 years and upset about it. It changed me so much that you don’t just pull out of that. Who Matthew IS. PERIOD. at this point. IS. too far gone from who he really is and so deeply warped and shaped by his depression that who he IS is hopeless and functionless.

    Her boyfriend got me a present. I practically said nothing. I watched my sister graduate. I don’t remember it. This is trauma. This has affected my caring, my memory and my attention span. I’m not myself or a functioning human. PSA: it is possible to get out of the habit of many things you don’t think you could get out of the habit of. Like social interaction, how to talk to people, react to things. It wasn’t the darkest point, but such a troublesome time. I was 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% darkness and 00.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% myself. There has always been a voice inside that never wanted this. That disagreed with the (verbal) self harm I’d convince myself. After a while, if you tell yourself the same thing, whether it’s good or destructive, you’ll believe it. You’ll trick you mind. Same thing with your environment. You become affected and accustomed to your environment to some extent. When you don’t realize it.

But this was never me. Me just got smaller. The darkness took over. The darkness was my Caretaker, which leads me to...