#data injection attacks

[donaldtrumpsexcrimesagainst]

GAMES PROVIDED FALSE DATA VIA COMMUNICATION OR DATA INJECTION ATTACKS THAT SUGGESTS SOMEONE WAS ALREADY ON THEM OR JUST JOINED OR JUST LEFT

[zapperrr]

Securing Your Website: Best Practices for Web Developers

As the digital landscape continues to evolve, website security has become a paramount concern for businesses and individuals alike. With cyber threats becoming increasingly sophisticated, it is crucial for web developers to adopt robust security measures to safeguard their websites and the sensitive data they handle. In this article, we'll delve into the best practices that web developers can implement to enhance the security of their websites and protect against potential threats.

Introduction

In today's interconnected world, websites serve as the digital storefront for businesses, making them vulnerable targets for cyber attacks. From data breaches to malware infections, the consequences of a security breach can be severe, ranging from financial loss to damage to reputation. Therefore, prioritizing website security is essential for maintaining the trust and confidence of users.

Understanding Website Security

Before diving into best practices, it's crucial to understand the importance of website security and the common threats faced by websites. Website security encompasses measures taken to protect websites from cyber threats and unauthorized access. Common threats include malware infections, phishing attacks, SQL injection, cross-site scripting (XSS), and brute force attacks.

Best Practices for Web Developers

Keeping Software Updated

One of the most fundamental steps in website security is keeping all software, including the content management system (CMS), plugins, and server software, updated with the latest security patches and fixes. Outdated software is often targeted by attackers due to known vulnerabilities that can be exploited.

Implementing HTTPS

Implementing HTTPS (Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure) encrypts the data transmitted between the website and its users, ensuring confidentiality and integrity. HTTPS not only protects sensitive information but also boosts trust among visitors, as indicated by the padlock icon in the browser's address bar.

Using Strong Authentication Methods

Implementing strong authentication methods, such as multi-factor authentication (MFA) and CAPTCHA, adds an extra layer of security to user accounts. MFA requires users to provide multiple forms of verification, such as a password and a one-time code sent to their mobile device, reducing the risk of unauthorized access.

Securing Against SQL Injection Attacks

SQL injection attacks occur when malicious actors exploit vulnerabilities in web applications to execute arbitrary SQL commands. Web developers can prevent SQL injection attacks by using parameterized queries and input validation to sanitize user inputs effectively.

Protecting Sensitive Data

It's essential to employ encryption techniques to protect sensitive data, such as passwords, credit card information, and personal details, stored on the website's servers. Encrypting data at rest and in transit mitigates the risk of data breaches and unauthorized access.

Regular Security Audits

Conducting regular security audits helps identify vulnerabilities and weaknesses in the website's infrastructure and codebase. Penetration testing, vulnerability scanning, and code reviews enable web developers to proactively address security issues before they are exploited by attackers.

Choosing a Secure Hosting Provider

Selecting a reputable and secure hosting provider is critical for ensuring the overall security of your website. When evaluating hosting providers, consider factors such as security features, reliability, scalability, and customer support.

Evaluating Security Features

Choose a hosting provider that offers robust security features, such as firewalls, intrusion detection systems (IDS), malware scanning, and DDoS protection. These features help protect your website from various cyber threats and ensure continuous uptime.

Ensuring Regular Backups

Regularly backing up your website's data is essential for mitigating the impact of security incidents, such as data breaches or website compromises. Choose a hosting provider that offers automated backup solutions and store backups securely offsite.

Customer Support and Response to Security Incidents

Opt for a hosting provider that provides responsive customer support and has established protocols for handling security incidents. In the event of a security breach or downtime, prompt assistance from the hosting provider can minimize the impact on your website and business operations.

Implementing Firewall Protection

Firewalls act as a barrier between your website and external threats, filtering incoming and outgoing network traffic based on predefined security rules. There are several types of firewalls, including network firewalls, web application firewalls (WAF), and host-based firewalls.

Configuring and Maintaining Firewalls

Properly configuring and maintaining firewalls is crucial for effective security. Define firewall rules based on the principle of least privilege, regularly update firewall configurations to reflect changes in the website's infrastructure, and monitor firewall logs for suspicious activity.

Educating Users about Security

In addition to implementing technical measures, educating users about security best practices is essential for enhancing overall website security. Provide users with resources, such as security guidelines, tips for creating strong passwords, and information about common phishing scams.

Importance of User Awareness

Users play a significant role in maintaining website security, as they are often the targets of social engineering attacks. By raising awareness about potential threats and providing guidance on how to recognize and respond to them, web developers can empower users to stay vigilant online.

Providing Training and Resources

Offer training sessions and educational materials to help users understand the importance of security and how to protect themselves while using the website. Regularly communicate updates and reminders about security practices to reinforce good habits.

Monitoring and Responding to Security Incidents

Despite taking preventive measures, security incidents may still occur. Establishing robust monitoring systems and incident response protocols enables web developers to detect and respond to security threats in a timely manner.

Setting Up Monitoring Tools

Utilize monitoring tools, such as intrusion detection systems (IDS), security information and event management (SIEM) systems, and website monitoring services, to detect abnormal behavior and potential security breaches. Configure alerts to notify you of suspicious activity promptly.

Establishing Incident Response Protocols

Develop comprehensive incident response plans that outline roles, responsibilities, and procedures for responding to security incidents. Establish clear communication channels and escalation paths to coordinate responses effectively and minimize the impact of security breaches.

Securing your website requires a proactive approach that involves implementing a combination of technical measures, choosing a secure hosting provider, educating users about security best practices, and establishing robust monitoring and incident response protocols. By following these best practices, web developers can mitigate the risk of security breaches and safeguard their websites and the sensitive data they handle.

[jcmarchi]

Exploring the future of IoT: Challenges and opportunities - CyberTalk

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/exploring-the-future-of-iot-challenges-and-opportunities-cybertalk/

Exploring the future of IoT: Challenges and opportunities - CyberTalk

Miri Ofir is the Research and Development Director at Check Point Software.

Gili Yankovitch is a technology leader at Check Point Software, and a former founder and VP of Research and Development at Cimplify (acquired by Check Point).

With billions of connected devices that lack adequate security around them, the Internet of Things (IoT) market represents an extremely promising target in the eyes of cyber criminals. IoT manufacturers are grappling with emerging cyber security regulations and change is happening. However, concerns still abound.

In this dynamic interview, Check Point experts Miri Ofir and Gili Yankovitch discuss what you need to know as we move into 2024. Get insights into IoT exploit techniques, prevention approaches and best practices. Address IoT security issues effectively – starting now.

What does the global threat landscape look like and could you share perspectives around 2024 predictions?

The global threat landscape has been affected by the increasing number of geopolitically motivated cyber attacks. We’re referring to state-sponsored attacks.

Cyber espionage by state-sponsored actors aims to steal intellectual property, gather intelligence, or even lay the groundwork for potential sabotage. Countries like Russia, China, North Korea, and Iran have advanced state-sponsored cyber attack skills, and we can track complicated campaigns affiliated with those countries.

An example of such type of campaign is a supply chain attack. As the name implies, this involves targeting less-secure elements in an organization’s supply chain. The SolarWinds hack from 2020 is a notable example, in which attackers compromised a software update mechanism of a business to infiltrate numerous government and private sector systems across the U.S.

The Internet of Things (IoT) market is highly targeted and prone to supply chain attacks. The rapid proliferation of these devices, often in absence of robust security measures, means a vast expansion of potential vulnerabilities. Malicious actors can exploit IoT weak points to gain unauthorized access, steal data, or launch attacks.

What are IoT device manufacturers’ biggest challenges at the moment?

IoT manufacturers are facing evolving regulation in regards to cyber security obligations. The supply chain concerns and the increasing attacks (41% increase in IoT attacks during Q1 `23 compared to Q1 `22) have led governments to change policies and to better regulate device security. We see two types of programs being rolled out:

1. Mandatory regulations to help manage Software and Hardware Bill of Materials (SBOM) and to verify that products will go to the market with some basic cyber security coverage. SBOMs will help manufacturers get a better understanding of the components inside of their products and maintain them through patches and other mitigations. This will add overhead for manufacturers.

2. Excellent initiatives like the U.S. cyber trust mark and labeling program, which aims to dispel the myth of clarity about privacy and security in the product and to allow educated users to select safer products, among other considerations, like energy efficiency.

While this is an obligation and a burden, it is also a business opportunity for manufacturers. The market is changing in many respects. For example, the U.S. sanctions over China are not only financially motivated; the Americans see China as a national security concern and the new sanctions push major competitors out from the market.

In this vacuum, there is a room for new players. Manufacturers can leverage the changing landscape to gain higher market share by highlighting cyber security in their products as a key differentiator.

What are the most used exploit techniques on IoT devices?

There are several main attack vectors for IoT devices:

1. Weak credentials: Although manufacturers take credentials much more seriously these days than previously (because of knowledge, experience or on account of regulation), weak/leaked credentials still plague the IoT world. This is due to a lot of older devices that are already deployed in the field or due to still easily-cracked passwords. One such example is the famous Mirai botnet that continues to plague the internet in search of devices with known credentials.

2. Command injection: Because IoT devices are usually implemented with a lower-level language (due to performance constraints), developers sometimes take “shortcuts” implementing the devices’ software. These shortcuts are usually commands that interact with system resources such as files, services and utilities that run in parallel to the main application running on the IoT device. An unaware developer can take these shortcuts to provide functionality much faster to the device, while leaving a large security hole that allows attackers to gain complete control. These developer actions can be completed in a “safer” way, but will take longer to implement and change. Command weaknesses can be used as entry points for attackers to exploit vulnerabilities on the device.

3. Vulnerabilities in 3rd party components: Devices aren’t built from scratch by the same vendor. They usually consists of a number of 3rd party libraries, usually open-sourced, that are an integral part of the devices’ software. These software components are actively maintained and researched, therefore new vulnerabilities in them are discovered all the time. However, the rate in which vulnerabilities are discovered is much higher than that of an IoT device software update cycle. This causes devices to remain unpatched for a very long time, even for years; resulting in vulnerable devices with vulnerable components.

Why do IoT devices require prevention and not only detection security controls?

Unlike endpoints and servers, IoT devices are physical devices that can be spread across a large geographical landscape. These are usually fire-and-forget solutions that are monitored live at best or sampled once-a-period, at worst. When attention to these software components is that low, the device needs to be able to protect itself on its own, rather than wait for human interaction. Moreover, attacks on these devices are fairly technical, in contrast to things such as the ransomware that we see on endpoints. Usually, detection security controls will only allow for the operator to reboot the device at best. Instead, prevention takes care of the threat entirely from the system. This way, not only is mitigation immediate, it is also appropriate and reactive, in accordance with each threat and attack it faces.

Why is it important to check the firmware? What are the most common mistakes when it comes to firmware analysis?

The most common security mistakes we find in firmware are usually things that “technically work, so don’t touch them” and so they’ve been left alone for a while. For example, outdated libraries/packages and servers; they all start “growing” CVEs over time. They technically still function, so no one bothers to update them, but many times they’re exposed over the network to a potential attacker, and when the day comes, an outdated server can and will be the point of entry allowing for takeover the machine. A second common thing we see is private keys, exposed in firmware, that are available for download online. Private keys that are supposed to hold some cryptographically strong value – for example, proof that the entity communicating belongs to a certain company. However, they are available for anyone who anonymously downloads the firmware for free. This means they no longer hold a cryptographically strong value.

What are some best practices for automatic firmware analysis?

Best practices for automated assessment – in my opinion, the analysis process is broken into 3 clear steps: Extraction, analysis, report.

A) Extraction: Is a huge, unsolved problem, the elephant in the room. When it comes to extracting firmware, it is not a flawless process. It is important to verify the results, extract any missed items, create custom plugins for unsupported file types, remove duplicates, and to detect failed extractions.

B) Analysis: Proper software design is key. A security expert is often required to assess the risk, impact and likeliness of exploit for a discovered vulnerability. The security posture depends on the setup and working of the IoT device itself.

C) Report: After the analysis completes, you end up with a lot of actionable data. It’s critical to improve the security posture of the device based on action items in the report.

For more insights like this, please sign up for the cybertalk.org newsletter.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! If you’re not very occupied could I request a Sebastian Solace x mutated female reader (Reader was there during the lockdown and looks similar to Sebs due to her mutations)?

Sebastian crashes into reader after they both spot a black light (sebs wants it for his little store, reader wants it cuz the squiddles are annoying af), so they squabble for a bit till it ends up turning into a play fight for it but accidentally scratch each other up and break the black light so they both go empty handed full of stinging cuts and scratches, then tend to each other’s injuries.

Would love it to be fluff with a pinch of angst! Platonic or romantic is fine with me!

"That's not fair, I found it first!"

'We both found it at the same time, idiot. You know how rare it is to come by one of these?! My customers will easily fork over all their data for it!"

"Do you have any idea how many times a Squiddle has attacked me this week?! TOO MANY! I need this more."

"What you "need" to do is to learn what personal space is."

"How's it my fault when they pop up everywhere and I can't see two feet ahead of me in dark waters?? I can't even turn on my own light!"

"Well that's your problem. Learn some manners."

"I think you need to learn some, considering you just ripped it out of my hand!"

"Should I remind you who let you out of containment? I could've just swam by your cell, you know."

"....you better take that back, or else." With gnashed teeth, you scowled at Sebastian--the sea monster who had undergone mutations similar to your own--holding an item that you so dearly prized:

The blacklight.

After the blacksite went into lockdown and nearly every creature was released, you've done the best you could to survive on your own, scavenging for whatever items Sebastian neglected to scoop up.

Normally, you'd search through dim and dark rooms, as oftentimes those overlooked places contained the best kind of loot.

The only tradeoff was contending with the numerous Squiddles who were set loose. Although normally calm, they were easily enraged by any bright light shined on them...whether it was intentional or not. Even just standing near them pissed them off to the extreme.

They've attacked you quite a few times simply because your angler light was apparently too irritating for them. And by the time you managed to flick it off, they'd lunge for you, wrapping their tentacles around your arms and jabbing you with barbs.

Thankfully, they were not poisonous, but they still stung like hell.

Like those injections the guards and people in white coats used to give you.

They reminded you of..not-so-fun times, and you'd rather forget them and be able to navigate through the facility safely, and having a blacklight was the only way you could do so.

If only Sebastian wasn't so obsessed with snatching up everything he came across...

You knew he was forced to help the expendables, sure. But he had more than enough wares to sell at this point.

He's no stranger to killing customers out of annoyance, which wouldn't bother you...if not for the fact he took everything they had back instead of leaving something for you.

Yeah, you were a little petty.

But right now, you were thoroughly irritated by his greed.

"Or else what?" He sneered, daring you to finish that sentence as he switched the blacklight to his third hand.

"Or I'll...I'll." Pausing, you glanced over his shoulder, gasping dramatically. "Is that a Wall Dweller?"

"Huh? Where?" While normally smart, Sebastian was foolish enough to look behind him for one second-

Before he felt the light being snatched away, and he swung his head back, scowling upon seeing it back in your possession. "Had. Sucks to suck." You teased, holding it tightly in your two lower arms. "Try to get it from me now-"

"Oh, but I will. GIVE IT HERE!!!" Gnashing his teeth, he lunged at you with frightening speed, but you were quicker and dodged out of the way, laughing as he slammed into a locker with full force.

"Damn, I would've thought Pandemonium ran into that." You snickered, only to blink as he suddenly turned and tried again, this time having success in tackling you to the floor.

At that point, both of you were in a fierce struggle for the blacklight, leaving scratches and bites on each other's bodies and snarling angrily. You were livid, seeing him bare his sharp teeth--looking no different from those noisy Anglers that liked roaming the halls.

It sure would be a bad time for any of them to pass through.

"Now you're just pissing me off, Solace! You were never this childish before!" You tried keeping the blacklight secured, but even then it was hard using three arms to push back his own.

"Childish? You think I'm....give me a break." He growled back. "I have a business to run. I'm not the one moseying around Squiddle territory!"

"Well maybe if someone didn't release them all at once during the lockdown, I wouldn't have to worry about where they'd pop up! Now let me have this one thing!"

"If I'm gonna get us out of here, I need all the data I can get! And they'll pay a fine price for this!"

"Go find Wall Dweller chunks to sell!! Those expendables you love so much will buy ANY slop from you!"

"HELL NO!! Those are disgusting! Almost as disgusting as your attitude right now! So just..let me...HAVE IT-!!"

With one desperate and final yank, Sebastian severely underestimated how strong his pull was, as the blacklight flung out of his hands, spinning in the air.

Both of you watched in devastation as it sailed towards the closest wall, smacking right into it. You physically cringed at the sound of a loud pop, followed by tiny bits of glass shards landing on the floor and the clattering of what remained of the light.

You just sat there in silence for a few long moments, taking in what just happened and feeling...absolutely horrible.

"....well fuck. Now look what you've--ow.." As Sebastian turned back to scowl at you, he felt a stinging cut on his cheek that you accidentally left "Shit, this burns.." He grumbled, holding his face.

"I think you bit me." You muttered, looking at your hand which had several tiny teeth marks. "You broke through my skin..I'm impressed." Then you glanced at his arm, realizing you tore through his bandage, too.

Guilt washed over you like a tidal wave. "Shit..I'm sorry."

He blinked, seeing your entire mood shift from being absolutely pissed off...to tenderly concerned as you inched closer to him, frowning. "Is..it okay if I see your arm?"

It took him a few seconds to respond, but he nodded and raised the limb, allowing you to examine the injuries closer. "I don't think the wound reopened, but jeez..I'm really about this. I should've been more careful."

"Yeah..um..I probably should'a been, too.." He admitted, a little embarrassed. "We messed up each other pretty good, and for what?"

"..a flashlight that's now useless to us."

Pouting, both of you began to realize how utterly stupid and childish this whole thing was.

Now you were left without a blacklight, regret clouding your minds and achiness in your bones.

"I see a medkit over there." You decided to speak up, pointing to one of the nearby tables. "Let me patch you up as an apology."

"..sure, as long as you let me do the same." He muttered, watching as you slithered over to grab the kit, quickly bringing it back and setting it between the two of you.

For the next ten minutes or so, you sat in silence, tending to each other's wounds with disinfectant and gauze. While you had a slightly higher pain tolerance, Sebastian hissed and winced every time you needed to wipe a cut on his skin with alcohol.

The chemical smells were probably bring him back to the days he was trapped in the labs just like you. But you didn't make any comments on it, instead trying to work as quickly as you can.

You were grateful that he considered you a close friend, as he usually despised being touched by anybody. You've seen it firsthand when some expendables tried climbing onto his tail, with him swatting them off like flies, screaming for them to get off--sometimes brandishing his shotgun in case they didn't get the hint.

"Please tell me you're almost done.."

"I am now." After a few snips, you smiled as you took your hands away, looking down at the new bandage you've put around Sebastian's third arm, putting the scissors back into the kit. "Thank you for trusting me after..um..what happened earlier."

"Yeah, same...that was kinda stupid." He sighed. "I know you can't help wherever those squids show up-"

At that moment, the lights in the room began to flicker.

Not once.

But twice in quick succession.

Both of you looked at each other.

"It's Blitz."

"Blitz is coming."

Sebastian grabbed your arm and dragged you to the furthest corner of the room, out of the path of the shrieking mutated viperfish as he passed through, killing the lights before making his exit. He was like a blur of grey and black smoke, his face barely visible to either of you.

It didn't surprise you that not even Urbanshade's "advanced" CCTV equipment could capture him on film.

You huffed, uncovering your ear fins. "He's too loud sometimes."

"Pssh, I don't think he's loud enough." The other fish remarked, rolling his eyes as you both turned on your angler lights to illuminate the now pitch black room.

Not even a few moments later, you noticed the dark figure of a Squiddle appear nearby, just out of your light's radius. Neither of you were close enough to fully agitate it, but just enough to make it display a frowny face--showing its displeasure.

You looked at Sebastian. "See what I mean?"

"...alright, alright. I guess it's a little ridiculous." He finally admitted.

"A "little"? Try dealing with that on a daily basis."

"I think I'll pass. But I get your point."

[uglythug22]

if you try to look at yourself in a 3rd person perspective you ‘break the seal’ on your brain and start having signals beamed directly into your neuro pathways by computers that are 2 earths wide but have been dimensionally folded into the size of a proton. They fill the ‘dead air’ between each molecule of monosmines with endless scripts of atomically sized prayers and curses that will make the final ‘signal’ you release into the universe be a marker for reintegration into samsara. You can over ride this output like an SQL injection attack by huffing paint until there’s holes in your brain and filling those holes with extensive but deeply misunderstood religious epistemology. The safe guards will recognize you as a corrupted data and excise your soul from the cycle completely in a fate worse than death

[liviavanrouge]

Monster Fighters AU

Description: Mysterious Beings have invaded the land and now it's up to the NRC Monster Hunters to stop them and bring them in to be tested in order to figure out how to avoid the Mother Monster from making her way to their home and destroying everything, making their people the food source of the invading monsters.

~

Raven Squadron (Main Characters)

-Ollie, the Squad Captain, has no powers injected into her but is very smart and knows good tactics to defeat the monsters.

-Oz and Aura, Squad Vice-Captains, the two aid Ollie in her leadership and tend to the squad members when they return from their missions.

-Epel, Member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with the power of super strength. He alongside Deuce are the tanks of the squadron.

-Deuce, Member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with stone skin, that hardens his skin and allows him to tank any attacks coming his way. He alongside Epel are the tanks of the squadron.

-Jack, member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with shapeshifting allowing him to turn into a bear sized wolf.

-Ace, member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with the power to see his opponents movements before hand but only halfway into a fight.

-Sebek, member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with the power of Lightning, allowing him to strike his opponents from a distance.

-Livia, member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with the power of Nature, allowing her to use plants to get her friends to safety and protect them.

-Ortho, member, is one of the newbies in the Raven Squad and is the one injected with the power to turn himself into an Android and surf the web for any current data on monsters and blasts plasma balls forward.

-Grim, prisoner, a monster that the Raven Squad had captured and are currently studying since he is not part of their database of Captured Monsters.

@queen-of-twisted @yukii0nna @zexal-club @soulfungai @abyssthing198 @writing-heiress

[didanawisgi]

Attack of the Replicons

The Biopharmaceutical Complex's self-amplifying mRNA assault has already begun.

NICOLAS HULSCHER, MPH

NOV 07, 2024

By Nicolas Hulscher, MPH

The Biopharmaceutical Complex is preparing for the large-scale deployment of replicon (self-amplifying) mRNA injections. There are currently at least 33 candidatesin development.

These products behave like a synthetic virus. The replicon mRNA is designed to encode not only the target antigen but also viral replicase, enabling the mRNA to replicate itself within the target cells. This replication machinery allows for an unknown period of toxic antigen production. Concerningly, none of the clinical trials have addressed the major concern of product shedding.

The Coalition for Epidemic Preparedness Innovations (CEPI) and the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority (BARDA) are the primary funders behind this technology to combat ‘Disease X’. This is an extremely high risk ‘vaccine’ platform that should be avoided at all costs. Cellular installation of synthetic replicons requires decades of intense safety testing.

The very first replicon injection for human use received emergency use authorization (EUA) from The Office of the Drugs Controller General of India (DCGI) back in June 2022: Gennova Biopharmaceuticals’ GEMCOVAC-19. This was followed by reckless EUA approval in June 2023 for GEMCOVAC-OM, a replicon booster shot that targets the Omicron strain. 

In November 2023, Japan's Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (MHLW) fully approved CSL and Arcturus Therapeutics' replicon shot: KOSTAIVE ARCT-154. Dismissing all concerns, Japan’s MHLW approved the updated booster shot in September 2024 to target the JN.1 lineage of Omicron subvariants.

In the clinical trials for ARCT-154, 5 deaths occurred among the injected in study phase 3b. Injected participants experienced a 90% adverse event rate (74.5% systemic - 15.2% required medical attention) after the first dose in study phases 1, 2, and 3a combined. Many of the authors are full time employees of Arcturus Therapeutics, meaning their conclusions are likely biased. 

Meanwhile, the USDA quietly approved an experimental self-amplifying RNA injection for dogs developed by Merck in June 2024: Nobivac NXT Canine Flu H3N2. It appears that Merck is attempting to camouflage the fact that this product is self-amplifying. The primary product description only indicates that it uses “revolutionary RNA particle technology.” However, the novel platform works by RNA particles targeting dendritic cells, where they self-replicate and result in sustained antigen production. 

The possibility of product shedding from dogs to humans or other animals was never tested. This injection is currently widely available for online purchase and canine administration. While the Biopharmaceutical Complex struggles to get self-amplifying mRNA injections approved for humans, they seem to have no problem targeting our pets.

Deployment of this experimental platform has continued in September 2024 to target cats: Nobivac NXT FeLV. Nowhere in the product brochure does it mention the RNA self-amplification mechanism of action. They hope that unsuspecting vets won't think twice about accepting the 'new and improved' product. The so-called 'safety' data for this product is as follows: 

“Demonstrated safety under field conditions" from "Data on file. Merck Animal Health." 

In other words, no public safety data is provided. It's become abundantly clear that the pharmaceutical industry and captured regulatory agencies have zero regard for the massive safety concerns of undefined synthetic mRNA replication resulting in uncontrolled toxic antigen production. These experimental injections must not receive further regulatory approval for humans or animals if we are to prevent another public health disaster. All self-amplifying mRNA injections currently available for humans and animals should be immediately withdrawn until comprehensive, long-term safety studies are conducted.

[tragicallycrispygirl]

I'm so excited about Slayer in Strive I think I'm gonna fucking explode holy shit

I genuinely love him so much he's so fucking cool

Let's talk about why he's so awesome:

Probably the coolest part about Slayer (in Xrd at least) is the fact that he is playing a completely fucking different game mechanically from the rest of the cast. He is, I believe, the only character on the roster who has links between his moves. He has absolutely AWFUL gatlings, such as c.s only cancelling into two moves that are a guaranteed hit, and also being a move that you CANNOT gatling into, unlike most of the Xrd cast. However, because of the recovery and the frame data on Slayer's moves, you can link into them, where if you press a button with good timing (anywhere between 1-4ish frames,) you'll still get a true combo.

For example, you can do c.s>f.s>c.s>f.s, which is a true combo.

Additionally, his teleport dash is quite cool because it is completely intangible for several frames, allowing you to get out of frame traps or other positions that could be dangerous with good timing. You can also cancel the dash with a jump, and then cancel the jump with a special move to get the dash invulnerability on the move, which is fucking hard but super useful. It's also a cross-up. This sounds pretty busted, and while it is powerful, it is EXTREMELY committal, as Slayer can only cancel his dashes with a jump and not special moves or normals (you can YRC the dash, I think, but it's 25 meter and is seemingly only useful occasionally.)

Even beyond his mechanical differences, though, the way he plays feels fucking incredible. You might've heard that Slayer has insane damage, which he does absolutely have it's kind of insane. K Pilebunker (a followup from his rekka movement dash thing) does a whopping 80 damage. That's nearly 20% of a healthbar on a character with no guts and x1 defense, or an insane 104 (~25%) against Chipp's glass bones and paper skin. From one move.

This is balanced, however, by the fact that throwing it out in neutral is a pretty terrible idea, because it's -20 on block and puts you in range for a nice c.s from your opponent. This is why I think Pilebunker is so good at representing how Slayer is as a character: he's generally big risk, big reward. While, yes, he has a nasty mixup out of Under Pressure, going into Under Pressure can be difficult due to a vulnerability to 6Ps, lows, and sometimes even throws. Additionally, it's 0 on block, so some characters can mash out of a low.

This leads into my favorite thing about his mixup. While it's pretty standard 4-way guessing on a knockdown, in neutral it shifts to being a mental game. "Make the wrong guess and Slayer will have a feast," declares his entry on Xrd Dustloop, which is perfect for him. Using Dandy Step to go into Under Pressure and its numerous follow-ups can be very scary for an opponent, especially because mashing on a low can lead to a counter-hit It's Late, which is very bad to get hit by. However, in neutral, players might attempt to use a low against Under Pressure, or even attack during Dandy Step, which is where the mind games come in. If you condition an opponent to attack your Under Pressure starters, you can use Pilebunker. Which combos into itself on counter-hit. And does 80 damage. It becomes a game of "do I want to block the mixup, or should I risk a low?" For the Slayer player, it becomes a game of "do I want to risk Pilebunker being blocked for more damage, or do I want to risk being shut down with a low?" This is just. So much fucking fun.

Add onto that his short range, poor mobility, and steep requirements for his highest damage combos (not necessarily execution, but how you need to start it,) and you have a character that will shatter all of your bones if he gets the right hit off, but can struggle to actually get that hit.

Playing him is like injecting yourself with pure joy and happiness. It feels good to land a K Pile, good to take a chomp out of someone for the forced counter-hit, good to call someone out on a meaty with Burst Dead On Time for 175 damage (what the fuck were they thinking with that. That's genuinely fucking insane)

Is he for everyone? No. Is he undoubtedly one of the coolest fucking characters in the whole franchise? Yes. Absolutely.

I need him in his new form in Strive so bad. I'm gonna have a heart attack. He's too cool. Give me Ups And Downs NOW. ALSO LOOK AT NEW PILEBUNKER

[elsewhereuniversity]

Pinned to the library notice board, written in a monospaced hand:

It’s come to our attention that the Archivist recently gave out the name ‘Null’. 

Please Do Not use ‘Null’ as a safe-name; Do Not use ‘TRUE’, ‘FALSE’, or any attempt to run a code-injection attack via your safe-name.  These names are fundamentally Not Safe. 

Yes, a lot of the departmental databases are necessarily run by people without the skills or experience to recognise or deal with this type of thing.  Yes, it is possible to use your safe-name to set your grades to a pass or snag a place in whatever oversubscribed class you had your eye on.  Yes, it’s a new twist on the old joke.

People who get Taken sometimes come back.  No one has yet been saved from the Data Cleansing Wizard.

Ser get_sName, Fourth Knight of the Relational Table

[chainsawmanicure]

Psychiatrist Scarecrow Scenario

snail in my ear telling me to post on tumblr Warning: manipulation

Imagine: Jonathan crane as a psychiatrist, he’s just starting out his career as the scarecrow and testing his fear toxin on patients. He decides to test his working formula on a patient, he “prescribes” it to them, but rather than having them pick something up from the pharmacy, he insists on coming to their house to let him administer it (so he can take notes etc).

The first time he comes over to their house and does this, he administers an injection into their neck, and then monitors their symptoms for around 15 minutes before they devolve into hallucinations and paranoia, letting Jon see their worst fears. He ends up staying with them for some number of hours, monitoring their responses to various stimuli and making sure they don’t have a heart attack.

Rather than pressing charges, however, the patient believes that the toxin is working and that Dr. Crane knows what’s best for them, and continues to see him, revealing more and more about their deepest fears and secrets as more toxin sessions occur. After the second or third home injection, Jon probably orders them to come to his practice to receive the injection, just because of the fresh anxiety that would result from the subject being suddenly placed in a new environment and being made so vulnerable there.

After a certain point in their doctor-patient relationship, Dr. Crane will know absolutely everything about them, and they will rely entirely on him. Super toxic and messed up but its an interesting idea to me. Also Jon may feel indebted to them because they would be the first test subject for his toxin and gave him so much data, and he may become so interested in the inner workings of their mind that he continues to work with them until he’s found out as the scarecrow and institutionalized. Imagine how the patient would react to finding that out lol… Or maybe when they see news of a villain who uses a fear drug they will immediately know it’s Dr. Crane, and maybe since they trust him so much by that point they could become his partner in crime. I feel like einstein rn Idk if this is anything though.

Like and folow for more :3

[chaotic-jjk-fiction]

Do No Harm

Doctor Getou Suguru x reader

TW: General Yandere themes, stalking, obsession, medical setting, injections, IVs, Lying about test results, Masturbation, drugging, kidnapping, mentioned death of readers parents due to cardiac events, murder, and I can’t really sugar coat this... death of reader

A/N: I don’t really think I can call this a valentines day post, but let’s pretend it is! This is probably my darkest fic yet, so reader discretion is heavily advised. Happy late valentines day everyone! 

Word Count: 1.8k

Was it unprofessional? Undeniably. Did he care? Not one bit. How could he be expected to not fall in love with you? He knew intimate details about your body that no one else did, you confided in him, and most importantly, it was his job to care for you. On top of that, the details he was privy to as your doctor made it all too easy for him to grow even closer to you. He knew where you lived, he knew that you were single, he knew that you were an only child, and that both of your parents had died young from sudden cardiac arrest. 

After your first appointment, he knew the two of you had a connection. So what if he ordered some blood work and scheduled a follow-up appointment with you to go over the results even though it was only an intake appointment and there was no clinical indication it was necessary? The number of people who have vitamin deficiencies and don’t know it is quite high. Was it really that bad if your yearly physicals happened twice a year instead of just once? That didn’t seem evil to him, on the contrary actually, he was doing his duty as a healthcare professional and taking your well-being seriously. 

Of course, the repeat blood tests every three months might have been a little bit excessive, especially because you weren’t actually deficient in any vitamins and had no reason to be taking a supplement, but it gave him a reason to see you. Despite the fact that normal lab results were typically discussed on the phone, he couldn’t resist having you come into his office. 

Because of your family's cardiac history, the health of your heart was of great concern. Getou always made sure to perform a thorough cardiac workup at your check-ups. The way you allowed him to listen to your heart and touch the tender flesh on your chest was a delight for him. You were so trusting. Getou would expect nothing less though, he was your doctor after all. As your doctor, one of the hardest things was the uncertainty of whether you would drop dead of a heart attack the same way your parents did, or if you would have no complications at all. At first, this didn’t bother him, but as time passed he found himself obsessing over it more and more. A need for control started to well up inside of him driving him to stock your daily life. 

After one physical where you complained of new-onset chest pain, Getou couldn’t take it anymore. He knew that there was only one thing he could do to ensure his control and guarantee that you wouldn’t suffer. He had really been hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this. He loved you and he wished that you could have loved him too, but it seemed as though that was not in the cards you two had been dealt. 

Due to your chest pain, Getou ordered a two-week continuous heart monitor. The data collected from the monitor wouldn’t change his resolve, but he had another important use for it. After placing it and reminding you numerous times not to remove it or let it fall off before the two weeks mark, he let you go on with your day. Little did you know that you and Getou had not actually parted ways when you left his clinic. 

You had a terrible habit of leaving the door unlocked. Just more proof to him that your chances of living a long life were quite slim. At the same time, it was quite beneficial for him. He loved to slip into your closet and wait for the sounds of your vibrator to fill the room followed by your moans. The lewd sounds you made when you thought you were alone seemed like music to his ears. He always jotted down the date and exact time he heard the vibrator, this information would come in handy soon. 

After two weeks of wearing the heart monitor, you handed it over to Getou who told you it would take another week to analyze the data. This wasn't exactly true though. It would probably only take a few days to check for any arrhythmias, but that was not of interest to him. The data Getou sought was related to that list of dates and times he had collected earlier. By looking over the continuously recorded metrics during the times when you masturbated, he could watch the way your heart rate had spiked, the peaks when you came, and its slow return back to baseline when you had thoroughly pleasured yourself. 

His dick grew hard as he looked at the EKG readings in front of him, remembering the noises of sexual satisfaction you made. He began to rub his cock through his pants as he continued to line up your times of self-pleasure with the information from the heart monitor. Getou could feel the pre-cum leaking out of his tip wetting his trunks. Eventually, he decided to stay on the data from one of your various sessions and allow himself to finish. 

It felt below him to jerk off, but right now he didn’t care. Grabbing a box of tissues, he sat back down and allowed his erection to spring free. He spit into his hand for good measure before slowly starting to stroke his throbbing cock. Due to the prior stimulation and the level of arousal he was feeling, it didn’t take long for Getou to reach his point of climax. What helped push him over the edge, sending ropes of cum into the tissues he got, was the slight drop in heart rate after you orgasmed followed shortly by another spike as you chased that high again. As he wiped off the semen from his dick, he made a mental note to call you first thing tomorrow and schedule your follow-up appointment. 

Only a few days later you were seated in his exam room once again. His face was stern as he looked you in the eyes and lied, “your heart monitor revealed prolonged QT intervals. This is a dangerous arrhythmia that can spontaneously cause ventricular fibrillation which can be fatal.” You sat there stunned, unsure of what to say or how to react. Getou continued, “There is an injection I can give you that should help. If you would like, I can give you the first dose today.” Your brain still hadn’t processed the news you had just received, but you nodded your head before confirming, “yes, I would like to have the first dose today.” “Alright then, I will go grab it if you would like to roll up your sleeve.” 

He came back a few minutes later carrying a tray with the syringe, an alcohol pad, and a bandaid. “I just want to warn you,” Getou cautioned as he put on his gloves, “this injection can cause people to pass out sometimes, so don’t be alarmed if you start to feel dizzy, just lay down and let me know.” You nodded in understanding and tried your best not to flinch when the needle pushed its way into your arm. For the first few minutes after the injection, you felt fine. Getou was able to clean up and dispose of everything, but then the room started to spin. You laid back and your vision started to get spotty, “Doctor Getou” was all you managed to squeak out before everything went black.  

So sweet and trusting. Suguru looked at your unconscious body in the rearview mirror on his windshield, you looked so innocent laid across the backseat of his car. In a different life, he could have had the future he dreamed of with you. As your doctor, however, he was sworn to do what was best for you and to do no harm. In order to abide by these principles, Suguru needed to move you to a different facility where he could do what he deemed necessary. “Don’t worry, darling. Soon you’ll be cured.”

You awoke disoriented. Despite the fact that your eyes were closed, you could tell you weren’t in the clinic anymore. The sensation of an IV in your hand caught your attention and you wondered if you were in the hospital. You didn’t have time to question it for long when you heard Suguru’s voice, “I really don’t know if you can hear me, but I hope you can.” You tried to turn your head in the direction of his voice, but you found yourself unable to move. “The sedatives and paralytics in your IV drip are just enough to keep you from being awake and able to move, but not to the point where you need a ventilator.” You could hear him moving around the room as he continued to talk. “As your doctor, I only want what is best for you, and I know you know this. I love you dearly, but the oath I took when I graduated from medical school comes first.” Your mind was swimming, trying to understand what was happening and what Suguru was going on about.   

He paused for a minute, letting out a heavy sigh “I just want you to know that the data from your heart monitor will forever serve as a reminder of you, and every time I finish to those perfect EKG waves, I’ll be picturing your beautiful face.” You wanted to crawl out of your skin. How could he say that? Your thoughts continued to race. “I think it’s time we say goodbye now.” A feeling of terror consumed you. “I’m glad I was able to create a plan to cure you, not many doctors out there would care enough about their patients to go to the extreme lengths I am going to for you. The best part about this cure is that it is completely painless. One injection of about 30mg of morphine and everything will be better.” His voice sounded almost cheery. 

The next sensation you felt was a needle pricking your inner elbow and viscous liquid being injected slowly into your vein. “There we go, treatment administered.” After disposing of the syringe in the sharps box, he quickly returned to your side. Your skin was turning pale and the heart monitor began to beep as your heartbeat and breathing rate fell dangerously low. He muted the monitor. Nothing was going to disturb the two of you in these final moments. 

He reached for your hand, it felt cold as he held it, gently running his thumb over your knuckles in a soothing motion. You wanted to open your eyes, your mouth, ANYTHING. You wanted to scream. Your brain was becoming too foggy to even remember how screaming worked, even if it did, it wouldn't matter though and you knew that. It was almost like Getou could read your mind, and as your ears started to ring and the world crumbled away, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, softly cooing, “Shhh. Don't worry, no harm will ever come to you again.”

[liskantope]

Did I just make a half-joke in my last post about the 2010's brand of aggressive internet feminism being dead? Have I mentioned more than once in recent posts that the I consider it a happy development that the TERFish ideology seems to have siphoned away a lot of the visible "women are fragile because men are so terrifying" mentality in more mainstream feminism? Well, that was before I read the below post that is apparently making the rounds in the last few days about the "bear test" and the oh-so-nailed-it commentary on it claiming that the "bear test" illuminates exactly two fundamentally types of men:

This "bear vs. man" question is obvious to me a rhetorical sleight-of-hand playing on a convenient arrangements of cultural emotion-based ideas of what bears symbolize and how protective a man is supposed to be around his daughter having men in her life and so on. Treating it as a serious thought experiment leading to an obvious conclusion about the patriarchy or something would be annoying enough, but first post has to inject that familiar gleeful smugness about how the simple question is guaranteed trip us men up and expose our toxic mindset for all the world to see and illuminate the writer's perfect black-and-white view of gender relations. (It reminds me of the question designed to trip up atheists: "You're walking down a dark street at night and see some shadowy figures coming your way. If you were to discover that they are people who just came out of a Bible study, would that make you feel better or worse?" Except I think that old pro-religion argument, much as I've always hated it, actually rests on firmer ground.)

As for the follow-up social media post, it's nice to know that, as a man who sincerely believes probability-wise that the bear in the woods is a lot more dangerous to my hypothetical daughter than a randomly-chosen man is (an assessment supposedly no woman holds), I am now properly classified as one of those men who is more dangerous than a bear, or (to a more charitable reading) one of those men who is providing cover/excuses for / not doing his part to stop the men who are more dangerous than bears.

(I doubt very much that there's actual data around on chances of a young woman being attacked in the woods by a human man or chances of being attacked by a bear, but I'm willing to change my prediction if I learn that most species of bear ignore humans who wander into their midst like 99% of the time or something like that. Which would cast doubt on most cultural treatment of bears, of course and also kind of undermine the punchline of the "test".)

[notwiselybuttoowell]

The prospect of an even more ideologically driven Trump administration slashing budgets and mass-firing federal staff has given America’s scientific community a sort of collective anxiety attack. “We all feel like we have a target on our backs,” said one National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration scientist, who added that agency staff are already seeking to “pivot” by replacing mentions of the climate crisis with more acceptable terms such as “air quality”.

“My god, it’s so depressing,” said another federal scientist about the incoming administration. A doctoral candidate, when asked about entering the workforce under Trump, simply puffed her cheeks and groaned. “If someone offered me a departmental position now, I’d jump,” said one Nasa researcher. “It’s hard, particularly for younger people. Hopefully we will survive it all.”

Trump – through his alteration of hurricane maps with a Sharpie pen, staring with uncovered eyes at a solar eclipse and suggestion that disinfectant injections could cure Covid-19 – is seen by many here at the meeting as a catalyst of scientific contrarianism.

This has been underscored by the nomination of Robert F Kennedy, who holds an array of conspiracy theories about vaccines, wind farms and chemtrails, as the nominee for the US’s new health secretary, as well as Trump’s promise this week to cast aside environmental reviews for “any person or company investing ONE BILLION DOLLARS, OR MORE, in the United States of America”.

But scientists in the US face a broader crisis beyond the next president, amid a swirl of misinformation and declining trust in the profession among the American public. Overall trust in scientists has fallen by 10% since the pandemic, Pew polling has shown, with a growing partisan gap emerging in how science is viewed; nearly four in 10 Republicans now say they have little to no confidence in scientists acting in the public’s best interests.

“When we get that kind of polling data, it is concerning,” acknowledged Lisa Graumlich, a paleoclimatologist and the current AGU president. Gone, it seems, are the halcyon days of celebrity 19th-century scientists such as Charles Darwin and Alexander von Humboldt, or even the reception to the polio vaccine in the 1950s, which was greeted with ringing church bells, with its inventor, Jonas Salk, routinely being greeted with applause and handshakes when he was seen in public.

By contrast, Anthony Fauci, the face of the US response to the Covid pandemic, requires round-the-clock security protection due to ongoing death threats, even after his retirement. Climate scientists and meteorologists, too, have faced threats and harassment.

“The conspiracy theories are out there, the misinformation is there,” said Graumlich. “Social media engines and the algorithms can take a person that isn’t necessarily prone to a conspiracy mindset and have them end up in this rabbit hole of misinformation.”

Some researchers think scientists should adapt to this hyper-partisan environment by sticking to unadorned facts, rather than anything that could be seen as campaigning. “We have been come to be seen as just another partisan lobbying group,” said Ken Caldeira, a climate scientist.

“I want us to get back to a point where scientists are seen as the establishers of facts rather than arguing for policy. We need to get back to a situation where we have a shared set of facts.”

Others are determined to press the case for science to guide decisions, if not in the White House then with Congress, which previously thwarted major Trump-demanded cuts to the Environmental Protection Agency and Nasa’s Earth science work.

Jay Famiglietti, a hydrologist at Arizona State University who has come to AGU meetings since 1989, attended this year’s event to reveal terrifying findings about the loss of available freshwater around the world, due to the climate crisis and agricultural practices.

“People like me who are experts need to step up and say, ‘I think this should be done,’” said Famiglietti, who has tangled with a family member about Trump and has even taken to switching Fox News off from the TVs in his local gym.

“I mean I am not going to chain myself to a wellhead but I’m going to make sure the right people in Congress, in Washington, know about it,” he said. “Some people might want to jump off a bridge if they think about the next few years but I don’t think we need to go into a shell or be overly careful. We need to choose our words well, know our audience, but I’m very much in support of full speed ahead.”

[beefromanoff]

Tempting Fate Ch. 4

summary: Evie made it through her first full week, has a breakthrough, and gets to celebrate!

author's note: I love a slow burn, but I want to get to the good stuff here. anyone else?!

masterlist

tag list: tag list: @yiiiikesmish @sunflower1290 @barnescamboy @thedisc0spider @bitchy-bi-trash @kulteule @kandis-mom @i-mushi @unknown-writings

A few hours and two large coffees later, Evie sat in her usual spot in the lab, her fingers flying across the keyboard. The screen in front of her was filled with complex lines of code, diagrams, and a myriad of data points. Her mind was a whirl of thoughts and possibilities, each one adding a new layer to her evolving solution for cracking Orpheus' defenses. She’d gotten right to the cusp last night, and today she’d been able to blow this motherfucker wide open. 

The lab was quieter than usual, the other engineers having gone for their lunch break or taken Friday off altogether. All except for Chris, the one who’d infamously mistaken her for one of Tony’s one night stands on her first day. Since then, he'd been skittish around her, but they'd developed a tentative working relationship. Evie respected his skills and found his nervous energy somewhat endearing. She wasn’t one to hold grudges, nor was she one to get her feelings hurt over a misconception that––truth be told––made sense. He was the only other engineer with SHIELD security clearance, having been the main technological consultant before Evie was brought on board.

"Chris," Evie called absently, not looking up from her screen. "Get your ass over here for a second."

Chris, who had been tinkering with a circuit board at the other end of the lab, jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. He hesitated for a moment, then made his way over to her workstation.

"Uh, okay," he said, fidgeting with the screwdriver in his hands. "What’s up?"

Evie continued typing for a few more seconds before stopping and turning to face him. "I need a second pair of eyes on this. I’ve been at it all night and I might just be hallucinating, but I think I’ve found a solution to Orpheus’ defenses. Can you take a look and tell me if I'm just sleep-deprived or if this actually makes sense?"

Chris blinked, then nodded. "Of course, let’s see it."

Evie turned her laptop screen toward him and started explaining her solution in the rapid pace that only ever came out when she was excited. 

"Alright, here’s the deal," Evie began, tapping a key to bring up a detailed diagram. "Orpheus’ encryption is a hybrid adaptive cryptosystem. They’re using a combination of RSA for key exchange and AES for data encryption, but they’ve added this insane layer of polymorphic encryption to constantly change the encryption keys on the fly."

Chris frowned, leaning in closer. "Okay, so how do we counter that?"

Evie smirked. "Glad you asked. The key is to exploit the timing discrepancies during the key exchange. By using a side-channel attack, we can measure the slight variations in execution time to predict the next set of encryption keys. From there, we inject a custom-built Trojan that piggybacks on their own update mechanism."

Chris' eyes widened. "You built a Trojan for this? Overnight?"

"Yes," Evie said, waving her hand dismissively. "It's a polymorphic Trojan, meaning it changes its code every time it replicates. That way, it can evade their adaptive defenses. Once it’s inside, it creates a virtual bridge, giving us a backdoor into their system."

Chris nodded slowly. "So, we use their own system updates to slip in unnoticed?"

"Exactly," Evie said, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "But that’s not all. I’ve also designed a recursive algorithm that exploits a vulnerability in their communication protocol. Every time Orpheus sends or receives data, the algorithm intercepts and duplicates the packets, allowing us to decrypt them in real-time."

Chris stared at the screen, his mind racing to keep up with her explanation. Slowly, he began to nod. "Evie, this is... I mean, this is incredible. You've actually figured it out. This should work. This should work…perfectly."

Evie’s eyes flicked off the screen and met his. "Really? You think so?"

Chris nodded more vigorously. "Yes, absolutely. It’s brilliant."

Without thinking, Evie jumped up from her chair, a huge grin spreading across her face. "Yes!" she exclaimed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. "Hell YES! Thank you!"

Chris stood there, utterly flustered, his face turning a deep shade of red. "Uh, you’re welcome," he stammered.

Evie shoved her laptop into her bag, grabbed her coffee, and rushed out of the lab, her heart pounding with exhilaration. "You’re the man, Chris!"

As she disappeared down the hallway, Chris stood there for a moment, still processing what had just happened. Finally, he shook his head with a small, bewildered smile. "Unbelievable," he muttered to himself, before returning to his workstation.

Evie practically sprinted through the halls, her coffee sloshing in her cup. She reached Tony’s private lab upstairs and burst through the door the second her keycard turned the access pad green.

Tony looked up from his workstation, raising an eyebrow at her sudden entrance. "Well, well, if it isn't the wunderkind herself," he said dryly. "Ever heard of knocking? You might see something you don't want to see."

Evie waved off his comment, her excitement palpable. "Yeah, yeah, spare me the pleasantries, Stark. I need to show you something."

Tony leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "This better be good. It’s barely noon, the crack of dawn here."

Evie quickly set her laptop on the table and pulled up her work, launching into her explanation. "I've been working on Orpheus' encryption all night, and I think I've cracked it. Look, their system uses a hybrid adaptive cryptosystem. RSA for key exchange, AES for data encryption, and a layer of polymorphic encryption."

Tony started to pay attention, but his eyes flicked over her attire, and a smirk formed on his lips. "Hold up a second. Are you wearing Cap's sweatshirt?"

Evie glanced down at the navy blue crewneck she had on, suddenly realizing the emblem on the sleeve clearly featured the Avengers trademark “A” with the words ‘Captain Rogers’ embroidered right beneath it. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I pulled an all nighter and didn't want to show up in the same clothes from yesterday. People might make assumptions, as they already have." She raised her eyebrow impatiently.

Tony's smirk grew wider. "And you didn't think they'd make assumptions if you showed up in Captain America's sweatshirt?"

Evie shrugged. "He’s not my boss."

Tony chuckled, but his eyes were now glued to the screen. "Alright, what you do in your own time is none of my business anyways. Show me what you've got, Langston."

Evie dove back into her explanation, her fingers flying over the keys as she navigated through her code and diagrams. "Okay, so, their encryption changes the keys on the fly. To counter that, I developed a side-channel attack to measure the timing discrepancies during their key exchange. We use those discrepancies to predict the next set of encryption keys."

Tony's interest piqued, and he leaned forward. "Timing attack, huh? Not bad. But what about the polymorphic encryption?"

"Glad you asked," Evie said with a grin. "I built a polymorphic Trojan that changes its code every time it replicates. It evades their adaptive defenses and creates a virtual bridge, giving us a backdoor into their system. And there's more. I designed a recursive algorithm that intercepts and duplicates their data packets, allowing us to decrypt them in real-time."

Tony stared at the screen for a moment, then let out a low whistle. "Damn, Red. You really outdid yourself."

Evie's grin widened. "So, you think it’ll work?"

Tony nodded slowly. "Oh, it'll work. I'm just wondering how the hell you managed to put this together in one night. And then still had time to swipe Cap’s sweatshirt.”

She shrugged. "I work well under pressure. And I love a challenge." 

Tony laughed, shaking his head. "Alright, genius. Let's get this to Maria. She’s going to want to see this ASAP. Let’s go to the boardroom, I’ll conference her in."

Evie grabbed her laptop, feeling a rush. "Let's do it."

As they headed out of the lab, Tony glanced at her again, the smirk still playing on his lips. "Rogers couldn’t handle you in the first place, kid."

“All I know is he makes a killer breakfast.” 

__________

The lab was quiet, save for the soft hum of machinery and the clicking of the keyboard. Evie was hunched over her workstation, the glow of the screen illuminating her face. She meticulously reviewed her code for what felt like the hundredth time, making sure every line was perfect when Tony walked in, his footsteps echoing in the large, empty room. 

"I swear, I’m either getting very old or this is deja vu." he called out, making his way over to her.

She didn't look up from her screen. "I don’t think those two are mutually exclusive."

Tony sighed dramatically, leaning against her desk. "You know, I hired you because you’re hot. But being in the office for 30 hours straight without going home to shower is seriously ruining the mood."

Evie glanced up and flipped him off. "You're hilarious, Stark."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Seriously, what the hell are you still doing here? It’s 7pm on a Friday night. Surely you have something better to do than this.”

“I’m just going over everything again.”

“It’s perfect. We went through it ten times today. You won't make it any better by staring at it all night."

Evie leaned back in her chair, rubbing her tired eyes. "I just want to make sure. This is big."

Tony nodded, his tone turning slightly more serious. "I know. And you did an amazing job. Which is why I’ve already invited the team out to celebrate your brilliant discovery and for finishing the work before the mission deadline––which, considering they’re used to working with me––is a novel concept. Also, to celebrate your first full week of working for me."

Evie raised an eyebrow. "You’re serious?"

"Dead serious," Tony replied. "We’ll be meeting at the bar in an hour and a half. And I’ve got Happy waiting for you outside to take you to your building."

Evie blinked. "Wow, thanks, Tony. But really, I’m fine. I just need to pick up around here and then I can just head straight to the bar."

Tony shook his head. "No can do, Red. Happy has strict instructions to make sure you get into the elevator and don’t try to come back to the lab. You need to get some fresh and fix…” he gestured vaguely to her hair and outfit. “...this situation.”

Evie rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. "You’re such a control freak."

Tony shrugged. "Yes, and you’ll thank me later. Now, go. Freshen up, put on something that doesn't smell like coffee and palladium, and be ready to celebrate like I taught you."

Evie stood up, stretching her arms. "Alright, alright. I’ll go. But you’re still an ass."

Tony chuckled. "I’ve been called worse. Now get out of here before I tell FRIDAY to revoke your security clearance for the weekend."

Rolling her eyes, Evie grabbed her laptop and bag, heading towards the door. As she walked out, she glanced back at Tony. "Thanks, Tony. For everything."

Tony waved her off with a smile. "See you in a bit."

Evie made her way outside, squinting at the sun to see Happy standing next to the black SUV, waiting patiently. He gave her a nod and opened the door for her.

"Miss Langston," he greeted with a smile. "Ready to head home?"

Evie grinned. "Yessir, thanks for the lift, Happy."

"Anytime," he replied, closing the door behind her.

As they drove towards her building, Evie allowed herself a deep breath, shoulders rolling back from the hours hunched over a workstation. It had been an intense week, but she had proven herself and made a significant breakthrough. Tonight, she would celebrate with the team –– the fucking Avengers –– knowing she had earned every bit of it. 

Evie slumped against the back seat of the car, exhaustion and a sense of accomplishment washing over her as she snapped out of her single-minded work mode. She stared out the window, her mind processing the reality that was her life. This past week had been a whirlwind – a literal dream come true.

Happy glanced at her through the rearview mirror, a good-natured smile tugging at his lips. "So, how's it feel? First week at Stark Industries under your belt. Bet it's been a ride."

Evie sighed. "Oh, Happy. It's been everything. I think I slept about 10 hours the whole week, half because I was too excited and half because I couldn’t get myself to leave the lab.” She looked out the window. “It probably sounds childish, but part of me feels like if I go to sleep, I’ll wake up back in my tenth grade calculus class bored out of my mind. It’s like…it’s just a dream.”

Happy chuckled. "It doesn’t sound childish at all. I remember the first time I met you, back at the alumni gala. When Tony brought you out to the car, I thought you were…well––"

“You thought I was a cocktail waitress trying to end up on a yacht.” 

“Well, yes, something like that.” His cheeks flushed. 

“Astute observation.” Evie grinned. “I’m sure you weren’t the only one to make it.” 

“Of course, after meeting you, it was clear––” 

Evie laughed, waving him off. "Don’t worry about it, Happy, seriously. I’m sure you’re conditioned to assume that with Tony."

"You could say that," Happy replied, shaking his head with a grin. “That was a fun night. When we drove back to the city the next day, Tony couldn’t stop talking about you. He kept saying you were ‘the princess who was promised’, or something along those lines. He may have still been a little drunk, but even so, he’s not one to rave about someone’s intellect besides his own. "

“He’s been watching too much Game of Thrones.” Evie chuckled. “That’s very flattering.”

“I’m not kidding, he told me from that very first weekend that he thought you’d change the world. He wanted to convince you to drop out and go work for him that second.” 

“Believe me, he tried.” 

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you stuck it out.” Happy met her eyes in the rearview. “Especially if you’re prone to workaholism, I’m glad you got to live your life for a while.” 

“Considering my boss is the one who threw me out of the office and told me to get my ass to the bar, I don’t think that’s going to stop.” 

Happy shrugged. "Tony’s lost himself in his work before. I don’t think he wants to see that happen to you."

Evie smiled. "That’s oddly wholesome."

“Mr. Stark is an enigma.” Happy's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You know, I got kicked out of my own car that night at the gala."

Evie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"

"Tony wanted some alone time with your best friend," Happy explained with a smirk. "So, I logged some significant time playing pool with grad students in the bar until I got the all-clear. Your friend was quite the charmer, apparently."

Evie shook her head. "Yeah, that's Jade. I got far too many details about that night."

Happy shuddered. "I don’t even want to know. But hey, it worked out. You got to where you wanted to be, and Tony… well, he got what he wanted too."

As they pulled up to her building, Happy glanced at her sweatshirt, doing a double take. "Is that Cap’s sweatshirt?"

Evie smirked, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Maybe. Why?"

Happy laughed, shaking his head. "Just making sure you're not causing any trouble."

She winked at him. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Happy parked the car and got out, opening the door for her. "Alright, Miss Langston. You go get ready and do whatever it is that Tony insisted I bring you here for. I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour."

Evie stepped out, shrugging her bag onto her shoulder. "Thanks, Happy. I’ll see you soon."

He gave her a nod. "Take care, Evie. And remember, no trying to sneak back to the lab."

She laughed. "Got it. See you soon, Happy."

________

Evie walked into the bar, a surprisingly normal looking joint in a lesser known part of the city. She didn’t know what she expected, something flashier and possibly on a rooftop? Dancers in lingerie in floating cages above the crowd? That seemed much more Tony-esque than this pseudo dive bar. Not that she was complaining, it reminded her of The Bos, giving her a warm rush of nostalgia. They crossed the busy room, Evie turning heads and drawing a few catcalls as she navigated toward the back booth where Earth’s Mightiest Heroes sat. Happy gave the already drunk catcallers a stern look and a wave of his hand. "Alright, keep moving, nothing to see here," he said, holding a hand out to clear a way through the crowd.

"Thanks, Happy," Evie nodded.

Tony's voice rang out above the low roar of the bar. "There she is! The woman of the hour!" He relished in the attention of the bar as he strode over, placing his arm around Evie's shoulders and escorting her to the large corner booth where the team was waiting.

"Evie!" Wanda called out, standing up to give her a warm hug. "It’s so good to see you."

"Hey, Wanda," Evie replied, hugging her back. "It’s good to see you too."

“One week down, that’s like a lifetime with Stark.” Natasha gave her a friendly nod. "Nice work this week, Evie. Heard you’ve been killing it."

"Thanks, Nat. I’m just trying to keep up with you guys," Evie gave a humble nod, her usual borderline arrogance fading in the face of Black Widow herself. 

Sam clapped her on the back. "You’re doing more than keeping up. You’re setting the pace."

Evie grinned. "Thanks, Sam."

Before anyone else could greet her, Tony held his hand out in front of her.  “In order to make an effective toast, the toastee needs a drink. Shall we?” 

“We shall,” Evie put her hand on his, grinning. She turned back to face the team and looked at Steve, who was watching her with a small smile from his seat. "Oh, Steve, I promise I’ll return your sweatshirt. Thanks for letting me borrow it this morning."

The team erupted in a chorus of “ooh” and “Alright, Rogers” as Steve blushed, grinning down at his drink. 

Tony guided her to the bar, placing a hand on her shoulder.  “You know exactly what you’re doing, I assume.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Evie gave a wry smile.

"Come on, genius. First round’s on me."

Evie smirked. "Correction: every round is on you because you’re the one who invited me out."

Tony raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely," she replied confidently. "You dragged me out of the lab, so you get to pay for my drinks. It's only fair."

Tony laughed. "Alright, alright. You drive a hard bargain. What’ll it be?"

"I’ll start with a whiskey sour," Evie said, sliding onto a barstool.

Tony ordered their drinks and turned to her. "So, how does it feel to be the second smartest person in the room?"

Evie snorted. “You tell me."

Tony handed her the drink, a smirk on his face. "You’re insufferable. I love it. Here’s to a brilliant first week."

They clinked glasses, and Evie took a sip. "Thanks, Tony. For the drink, for this, for everything. This week has been a dream come true."

Tony nodded, his expression sincere for once. "Just keep doing what you’re doing, Evie. I’m glad to have you. Now don’t go getting all weepy on me, I’m trying to cut back on sentiment."

They returned to the booth, where the team was waiting with smiles and cheers. "Alright, everyone," Tony announced. "Here’s to Evie and her first week at Stark Industries, and our lives being in very capable hands. Let’s make this a night we wished we could remember!"

The team raised their glasses, and Evie couldn’t help but feel a surge of happiness. She was exactly where she was meant to be. As she downed another gulp of her drink, she let all thoughts of work and code and trojans and missions fade to the back of her mind.

An hour passed as the group chatted and laughed, some breaking off to play pool, some (Sam) ending up on the dance floor in the middle of a bachelorette party. Steve and Bucky found themselves in a quiet debate in the back of the booth.

"You flip," Steve suggested, holding a coin between his fingers.

Bucky shook his head. "No way, you flip. Last time, I got stuck with the tab."

Steve chuckled. "Alright, alright. Heads, I offer. Tails, you do."

As he prepared to flip the coin, Evie noticed their quiet discussion and couldn’t help but be curious. Handing Nat the cue stick, she walked over to where they were sitting.

"What's this about a coin flip?" she asked, leaning against the table and giving them a teasing look.

Both men looked up, slightly caught off guard at someone returning to the booth. Evie guessed they usually ended up the only two still sober at the end of the night due to their Super Soldier something or other.

"Just a little game we play," Bucky said coolly, rolling the coin around in his metal fingers.

Steve nodded, smiling up at her. "Deciding who buys the next round."

Evie raised an eyebrow. "How about we skip the coin flip and both of you buy me a drink?"

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance. "Deal," Steve said, standing up. "What’s your poison?"

Evie pretended to think for a moment, tapping her chin. "Surprise me. But make it something good."

As Steve headed to the bar, Evie slid into the seat next to Bucky. "So, do you always use coin flips to make decisions?"

Bucky chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "Only when we can't decide. Or when it's something important."

"Buying me a drink is important?" she asked, half a question and half a statement.

Bucky met her gaze, his blue eyes intense "You could say that."

Steve returned with two beers and a bright red drink with two cherries floating on top, setting them down on the table before sliding in on Evie’s other side. "One surprise drink, as requested."

Evie picked up her glass, examining the contents before taking a sip. "Hmm, not bad. Four stars, two enthusiastic thumbs up."

She leaned closer to them, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "So, what else do you two decide with coin flips? Who gets the best mission assignments?"

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. "No, that one's above our pay grade."

"But we do use it for simpler things," Bucky added. "Who gets to take the motorcycle, who has to run with Sam, things like that."

Evie laughed. "Sounds incredibly meticulous, very fitting of two Avengers. It must be fun, having your best friend to share all of this with."

Steve and Bucky exchanged another glance. "It has its moments," Steve said, his smile genuine.

Bucky nodded. "Yeah, it's not so bad."

“Do you share everything?” She tugged on a cherry stem, popping the fruit in her mouth.

“Not…everything.” Steve said slowly, eyes flicking down to her lips for a split second. “I’m sure the team would say we’re a package deal, but some things are still kept separate.” 

Evie took another sip of her drink, watching them. "So, tell me," she said, leaning forward, her eyes locked onto theirs. "What’s the craziest thing you’ve done lately? You can flip the coin to decide who spills first."

Steve and Bucky glanced at her, then at each other, both grinning sheepishly.

"Honestly, our lives are pretty... regimented," Steve admitted. "Missions, training, repeat."

Bucky nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we don’t get much downtime. Not that we’re complaining, but it doesn’t leave a lot of room for…crazy."

Evie laughed, shaking her head. "You guys need to get out more.”

“Coming from the one who Stark had to drag out of the lab.” Bucky sipped his beer, not breaking eye contact. 

“Forgive me for wanting to make sure the technology that’s going to keep your asses alive is foolproof.” She winked. “Besides, I have plenty of experience being out.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? How so?"

"Well, I used to bartend, so I spent a lot of time in a place just like this," she said, gesturing around the bar. 

"Doesn’t sound too crazy on your end either," Bucky said, leaning onto the table. "Unless you have another story sweetheart, you’re still talking about work."

Evie leaned onto her elbows, eyes locked on his. "I guess I just like to keep busy."

Steve looked thoughtful for a moment before a spark of an idea lit his eyes. "You know, maybe we should start doing something like that. Hold each other accountable for getting out and having fun."

Bucky shot him a curious glance, tearing his eyes from Evie’s. "What are you suggesting, Rogers?"

Steve shrugged, his smile growing. "I’m saying we make Friday nights our mandatory 'fun time.' No missions, no training, no work. Just us, going out and doing something together. If nothing else, it would get Sam to get off our case about being old and boring."

Evie raised her glass in a mock toast. "I like the sound of that. I could probably benefit from leaving the lab every now and then, wouldn’t want to turn into a mad scientist."

Bucky tilted his head, considering. "I’ve heard worse ideas."

"Great," Steve said, raising his own glass. "To Friday nights and mandatory fun."

They all clinked their glasses together, taking a long drink. 

“Wait,” Evie fished her phone out of her purse. “Let’s take a photo to commemorate this historic agreement.” She held her arm out, fighting the flutter in her stomach as both men leaned closer on either side of her, smiling at the screen. “That’s a keeper, for sure.” She grinned, zipping her phone back into her bag.

As the night wore on, they continued to talk and laugh, different members of the team coming and going from the booth. No one stopped to ask them for photos or autographs, which Evie guessed is why they liked this place. She wondered if they were regulars, giggling at the thought of the ones who save the planet from intergalactic threats being regulars anywhere.

"So, what's the first thing we do for our new Friday night tradition?" Evie asked, leaning back in the booth.

Bucky eyed her as he raised the bottle to his lips. "Something tells me you’ve got some ideas."

Evie grinned. "I’ve got a few."

Steve chuckled. "We’re at your mercy. Here’s to new traditions and great company."

They clinked their glasses once more before Sam came to steal them all for a rousing game of darts. It was short lived, seeing as Bucky hit a bullseye with every single left-handed toss. As the evening wound down, the group made their way out of the bar just before last call. Tony had blown her a kiss across the bar an hour prior, he and Sam leaving with the bachelorette party. Nat and Wanda hopped into the car with Happy, waving goodbye as they pulled away from the curb. Evie fished her phone out of her bag, preparing to call an Uber as she swayed near the curb.

“Hold up, Evie,” Steve said, stepping closer. “We can drop you off.”

She looked up, eyes wide. “You guys don’t have to do that. Besides, you’ve been drinking too.”

Bucky smirked. “Super Soldiers, remember? Alcohol doesn’t affect us the same way.”

Evie hesitated, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Steve replied, his tone leaving no room for argument.

“Well, okay then,” she said, feeling a warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with the alcohol. “Thanks.”

The drive back to her building was euphoric, the top was off in Steve’s jeep and the wind whipped through her hair. Evie leaned back in the middle of the backseat, spreading her arms wide as they drove through the night air. When they pulled up to her building, Steve put the car in park before hopping out to open her door and give her a hand down. 

“Thanks for the ride,” she said, trying not to slur her words too much as she turned to look at them both. “And for tonight. I had a lot of fun.”

Steve smiled. “So did we.”

As Steve hopped back into the driver’s seat, she leaned on the ledge of Bucky’s door. “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you guys on Monday.”

Bucky nodded, his expression softer than usual. “Looking forward to it.”

She gave them a small wave as she spun and headed into her building, feeling a strange mix of emotions. There was something about the way they’d cared for her, looked out for her, that disarmed her usual bravado and flirtation. It was a feeling she wasn’t entirely used to, but one she found herself liking.

Evie walked into her luxurious penthouse apartment, the city lights casting a soft glow through the floor-to-ceiling windows. She kicked off her heels and headed to her bedroom, the plush carpet soft under her feet. She tossed her bag on the bed and pulled out her phone, shooting the photo she’d taken earlier to Jade as she started to change into her pajamas.

Unsurprisingly, her phone buzzed only seconds later, despite it being the middle of the night. Jade was probably closing up The Bos anyways. 

J: HOT

J: why do I feel like it won’t be long before i’m not the only one who’s fucked an Avenger?

E: a lady never tells…

J: a lady might not, but you better!

E: i’ll call you in the AM, sweet dreams baby J ;)

J: dirty dirty girl. talk soon. you better have a good story for me.

[kandicon]

Slow burn where Jazz (mods georg and terrorizer of health professionals everywhere) exclusively goes to Starscream (also mods georg and technically a medic that almost no one trusts to use if they like their internals) for medical treatment that he can't do on his own- because no one else gets it- despite their vastly different ideals. There can't be a single situation they can't handle and the very thought of being unprepared drives both of them up a wall. And they both put up their fake friendly personas up to max even though they both know the other isn't falling for it.

Starscream will call up Jazz in the middle of the night (knowing damn well he wasn't asleep) and without even a hello be like: I installed an upgrade to make certain neck cables give off enough of an electric shock so anyone who touches them is forced into stasis.

"The same cables that feed power directly to the brain module?"

"Obviously."

And then Jazz is on his doorstep five minutes later with very noticeable tire trails behind him to betray his speeding.

Like Jazz only has more mods by a very small margin but Starscream has more illegal mods than Jazz (by a slightly larger but still tiny margin). Everybody thinks Jazz is just getting either two am booty calls or out of v important special ops business. He thinks he's doing the latter but instead he's acting exactly like Red Alert in a bad spiral, just being quiet about it.

Jazz is slowly falling for the giddy little face and excited wing flapping Starscream does every time he requests something like all his data ports exploding at once if someone jacks in without his permission. And Starscream thinks he's safe but the twenty minutes after surgery, with energon still on his hands, he'll go up to his trinemates and gush like "Oh Skywarp he was so cooperative he even laid on the table willingly! Even you weren't as still when I beat you unconscious for the same upgrade!" And Skywarp will be like "Wait, is THAT why I woke up in an alleyway three days ago?!"

They're fueling each other's metal issues sooooooo much. If Ratchet saw either of their insides he'd have a spark attack on the spot. Both of their codings are absolute messes only decipherable to them bc Starscream wants that extra layer of protection AND he never learned how to code right in the first place.

One of these days they're gonna get caught from Starscream dropping everything in the middle of a battle if Jazz gets hurt. He just NEEDS to see how damaged coolant lines will affect his already easily-overheated taxing systems. Shhh, shhhh yes, look, red person. Totally means I'm Ratchet, your visor is just malfunctioning. Now *rips open chassis and pulls out syringe filled with ominously glowing liquid* let's see what happens when we inject this directly into your spark chamber :)

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks to @elsie-writes here, @elizaellwrites here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, and @willtheweaver here.

Rules: rewrite a given line in your OCs' voices!

Got long, under the cut :)

"I've got a headache."

Lexi: "Oh, man I got a headache. Well, that's what ibuprofen is for. Time to go out to a crowded bowling alley!"

Maddie: "I've felt worse. I'll be fine." (Is dizzy)

Ash: "I have felt worse before. Maybe I should use those probing devices :)" (bad idea)

Gwen: (if she has nothing to do) "I should probably go lie down. I don't feel good." (If she does) "I feel terrible, but I'll push through. For [person]."

Robbie: "Pfft I'll be fiiiine don't worry about it! I have braved through more before!" (Is later seen lying down)

Akash: "No need to worry about me. I'll take some Tylenol and be okay."

Jedi: "I will be alright. We have medication for a headache." *Injects himself with some over the counter drugs*

Carmen: "Everyone BE QUIET I have a headache!"

Everyone is so healthy here (:

Prompt: Uh oh, you forgot to do something very important!

Lexi: "Oh no! I forgot!?? How??" *flips frantically through her color-coded planner* "I couldn't have forgotten to write it down.... it's not possible...it has to be here somewhere..."

Maddie: "I did? Whoops."

Ash: "Oh. Sorry. Uh, guess I'll try and remember next time."

Gwen: "Oh my gosh I am so sorry I forgot!! I've been under so much stress lately... It won't happen again. What can I do for you to help?"

Robbie: "Oh SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT--" *scrambles around trying to get it done in five seconds*

Akash: "WHAT?! Shit, there's no way I forgot... Guess I did, huh. What is wrong with me? This is why I write stuff down... Oh, um, sorry I forgot, man. Uhh hey is there any way I can make this up to you? Like now? Cause this may haunt me."

Jedi: "Oh, I am terribly sorry... It must be sleep deprivation... I apologize, I will go do that now."

Carmen: *borderline panic attack, likely kicks or punches something*

"Where are we? How did we get here?"

Perfect for TSP actually

Lexi: "Wait, what just happened? Everything just simultaneously changed. The temperature and humidity levels are different. I must be dreaming." (Anxious)

Maddie: "Woah that was super weird. Where do you think we are? (Excited and curious)

Ash: "What-- that isn't possible...but it clearly is... what happened?" (Is also genuinely curious)

Gwen: "Woah. How did we get here? It's... admittedly cool here. Beautiful even."

Robbie: "Holy shit, where are we?! Did I blackout? Or was I just walking and not paying attention so much I took a wrong turn?"

Akash: "Dude...what happened? Did we take a wrong turn? I don't think we did - I was paying attention."

Jedi: "Well... *looks around and pokes at the map on his tablet* it appears this map was not as straightforward as I assumed. I frankly have no idea how we got here. I suppose we are lost. Well, if we must be here, let us survey the area and collect data." (This is what I call the Star Trek Voyager method)

Carmen: "Who gave me wrong directions?! There is no way I possibly got lost. Who can tell me in precise detail how we got here?!"

"I don't have enough curse words for how much you pissed me off."

This one was harder than I thought because most of these guys don't get cold angry, but I'll try.

Lexi: "I have a pretty large vocabulary. I know all the synonyms for, like, every curse word. But I don't think that I know enough for you!"

Maddie: "Hm. I'm not sure I can think of enough curse words that can describe how I feel toward you. Like, none of them work."

Ash: "I would love to cuss you out, but nothing is accurately describing how mad I just got."

Gwen: "I'm not exactly one for swearing, and I'm really pissed that I can't use any cuss word in English, Spanish, or Italian because you're making me so angry."

Robbie: "Bro, I have the most creative swears I know, and even I can't think of one you deserve."

Akash: "Y'know you're pissing me off so much that I literally cannot think of a good enough swear for you."

Jedi: "I will have you know that I am not one for expletives, and I see that this is because I have never been able to find one that quite describes how I am feeling toward people like you."

Carmen: "I would love for you to see how angry I am, but unfortunately you're such an irritating idiot that I cannot find a single swear in my vocabulary that can accurately depict that fury!"

"You want me to eat that?"

Lexi: "Oh, you want me to eat this? Um, that's...fine, thank you.... Y'know I actually ate a lot earlier, and I don't think you want me to eat anything else...thanks though. Really thoughtful of you."

Maddie: "I don't want to eat that."

Ash: "No offense, but I'm not going to like this."

Gwen: "It was very sweet of you to think of me, but I don't actually like [ingredients]. Yeah...sorry. I feel bad, can I do anything for you?"

Robbie: *long exhale* "Look, man, I know you worked really hard on this. And...yeah it's awesome for you to uh....do this. But...I don't think you want me to eat that."

Akash: "That food looks interesting. Oh, you want me to eat that? Umm. Okay..."

Jedi: "It would...be my pleasure to eat this. However, I am afraid I don't quite like this meal."

Carmen: "Why would you want me to eat that? It's gross."

Alrighty that's finally done. Softly tagging @aziz-reads @atelierwriting @mysticstarlightduck @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @stesierra @rickie-the-storyteller @sam-glade @memoriethereaderandwriter-blog @ahordeofwasps @spitefulbull + anyone else who wants to

Your phrase is, "Who would leave milk on the counter?"

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites