#dat was fun let's do it again

[the-iron-orchid]

Ayyyy we had a good time being gay art nerds and we definitely have to do this again sometime! (It was supposed to be 1-2 hours, we ended up bullshitting for 3 hours lmao)

I think the next subject will be something like WATERMEDIA 101: watercolor, gouache, acrylic, knowing your pigments and how they affect paint handling, etc., then we can see who wants to learn a little Tibetan Buddhist iconography lol

[hugsqueeze]

JESSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!! 🫂🫂🫂🌈🌈🌈🌈🫂🌈🫂 A BILLION TRILLION GAZILLION HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO YOU MAN!!!!! I HOPE TODAY WAS SO ROCKIN AAAAAAAAAAHHHH EVERYONE GET UP. THIS IS A NATIONAL HOLIDAY. 💖💖💕💕🌈🌈🌈💕💖❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🌈💖🌈‼️‼️‼️‼️

WAHHHHH T___T <33333 ‼️‼️‼️ 💕💖🌎💗💕💓💓 THANK YOU THANK YOU SO SO SUPER MUCH GLOOMYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! <:DDD THAT'S SO KIND, THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME, I HOPE YOU HAD A FANTASTIC VALENTINE'S DAY TOO HEHE!!!!!!!!! 🫂🫂🫂💘💘💕💕💖💓💘💗💗💓💓💕 *SPINS WITH YOU IN A FIELD OF FLOWERS*

SORRY I'M JUST GETTING TO THIS MESSAGE NOW, I was so pooped yesterday!!!!!!!! >_< BUT I DID end up having a great birthday THANK YOUUU!!!!! THE BIRTHDAY DID, IN FACT, ROCK ☝️ LOLOL My day was truly made extra special with all the kind messages and everything!!!!! I really appreciate it more than I can say!!!!!! <:]]]] <33333 Ouuu I've been all emotional about it ever since last night!!!!! SO THANK YOU AGAIN TIMES ONE MILLION!!!!!! DID YOU GET UP TO ANYTHING FUN YESTERDAY??? :]]] LET ME KNOW‼️‼️‼️

[blindedguilt]

I need Leonard and Cain to do toxic yaoi together...the two of them deserved more interaction in general

//YOU GET IT OMG YOU F U C K I N G GET IT //It's the duality. It's the difference in background and how they deal with tragedy and how that's absolutely APPALLING to both, because Leonard, who has and is dealing with a deep sense of wanting to inflict violence on the inside, and Caim, who just wants peace and to have never dealt with any of that on the inside, SEE the other's outward actions doing just the opposite and both are reminded of JUST how much they're trying to ignore that part they see in the other inside of them and how they're trying to put that down and HERE this motherfucker is, just doing it //AND ITS THE SENSE OF SOLIDARITY THESE VERY DIFFERENT PEOPLE FROM VERY DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS GET WHEN THEY SEE THAT, BECAUSE BEYOND LOSING THEIR FAMILY TO THE EMPIRE WHICH BRANG THEM UNDER THE UNION'S CAUSE THEY'RE BOTH OLDER BROTHERS WHO KNOW DEEP DOWN WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FRET OVER AND CARE FOR YOUR YOUNGER SIBLING, OUTSIDE NUMBNESS TO THOSE FEELINGS BY OUTWARD CIRCUMSTANCES BE DAMNED. THEYRE BOTH PART OF A VERY SMALL MINORITY WHO HAVE MADE A PACT, AND EVEN SMALLER OF THE ONES WITH SOME SEMBLENCE OF A MIND LEFT AFTER DOING DO. THAT THEY BOTH CAME OUT OF THEIR TRAUMA AS THE ONLY ONES LEFT FULLY UNTOUCHED AND ARE BOTH STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THAT, AND THAT LATER ON THEY BOTH FIND SOMEONE TO CARE FOR IMMENSELY THAT THEY'RE FUNDAMENTALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH THAT GIVES THEM THEIR REAL SENSE OF WORTH AFTER THE WAR AND THE PROFOUND ISOLATION FROM BEING SO FAR DEEP IN YOUR OWN HEAD AND TRAUMA AND KNOWING THE STUPID PIDDLING WRECK OF A HERMIT OR THE NEEDLESSLY VIOLENT BLOODTHIRSTY CRACKHEAD MERCENARY NEXT TO YOU CAN SHARE IN THAT GRIEF BUT AT THE SAME TIME IS A MIRROR INTO YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU CAN BE THAT YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO SEE //ITS ABOUT THE PROJECTION. IT'S ABOUT THE DIFFERENCES THAT FORCE THEM TO LOOK INTO THEIR OWN SELF AND THEIR INABILITY TO COPE WITH THAT AND WHY THAT MAKES THEM FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER, BUT ALSO THE COMPANY AND RELATABILITY TO EACH OTHER'S POSITIONS THAT DRIVES THEM TO THAT AWKWARD STALEMATE. ITS ABOUT THE MISLED "I CAN FIX HIM"'S MEANING TWISTED BUT WELL-INTENTIONED "I CAN MAKE HIM MORE LIKE ME THE WAY I WANT SO I DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED ANYMORE" ON BOTH SIDES FROM PEOPLE WHO CAN'T EVEN FIX THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY CAN'T LET GO, AND THEN MY FAVOURITE PART

//HOW THAT RESULTS IN PSYCHICAL VIOLENCE AND/OR LOATHING AND RESENTMENT AND DISGUST. i watch this scene with SUCH yaoi-tinted glasses anon you don't even know

[uzurakis]

apologies if u find this weird but it’s been on my mind for a while.. rotting my brain if u will.. jjk men being told by the others to keep it down while they AHEM fuck bc they could hear them😓

D★MN, KEEP IT DOWN !

featuring: fushiguro megumi. itadori yuuji. gojo satoru. geto suguru. (characters are all aged up)

NSFW MDNI. explicit themes under the cut!

n. nonnie sorry this took awhile. i rlly like your request but i was contemplating whether i should make it a full on filthy smut or not lmao (i chose the latter eventually). thanku for requesting thiis, was giggling the whole time and i do not find it weird at all bb, it’s quite funny actually XD

damn, keep it down will you?

you guys are too fucking loud!

ITADORI YUUJI

“was it really that loud?” in the hopes that someone outside the room might hear you, you shouted. “sorry about that! we were just really into it!” itadori added, a hint of playfulness in his tone.

your laughter bubbled up uncontrollably, blending with the lingering excitement in the air. "really babe? 'we were just really into it?'" you quoted him, unable to contain your amusement at his witty retort.

"we are, right?" itadori exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with passion as he continued to shove it slowly in your walls. “don’t say ya don’t enjoy when i make ya like this, baby.”

you nodded, unable to control your arousal as you let out faint whimpers. "ah, definitely, yuu.”

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

your boyfriend's response was immediate, his tone tinged with irritation. "fuck off!" he retorted, frustration evident.

though you felt a twinge of embarrassment at getting caught, you couldn't help but laugh tensely at his boldness. "what?" he paused his pace and asked a question. you kept kissing him carelessly around his neck, saying, "no, don't stop," as he began to move slowly once again. "don’t be so mean, baby. focus on me."

his broad grin widened as he picked up the pace, having fun with those words. watching you act like a mess over him, megumi said, "mhmm, you don't need to say that."

"i'm totally focused on you."

GOJO SATORU

"guess we got carried away, darling,” gojo chuckled playfully. "seems like it," you agreed, feeling a rush of contentment wash over you. “i told you to keep it down, satoru.”

“hey, who’s the one moaning over my cock, baby?” he retorted, sometimes you felt like you wanted to slap that arrogant grin of his. “can’t put the blame on me like dat.”

“and who begged tremendously to let it in, huh?” you fire back a query, but he cuts you off as you feel it tearing your pussy even more deeply and forcefully.

you can't help but wail, "shit—ah, satoru," and feel his touch throughout your entire body, especially when he bit down the right spots. “keep it down? hell nah.”

“we’re just getting warmed up, darling.”

GETO SUGURU

"can't promise anything, but we'll try!" geto called back, a grin evident in his voice.

"will we though?" you inquired with a grin, as if it were impossible. geto returned your gaze, interlocking his hands once more as he bent down and kissed you on the lips. "that's why i said we can't promise anything, princess."

"but how else will the guys know we're having a good time?" he said, voice full of joyful mischief as he proceeded to work you through the sweet spot. dripping saliva as you sticked you tongue out and making a mess, unable to say anything since his cock has left your body speechless.

geto clearly understands your body, what it wants, and why it wants him.

"let me show ya how to make ya feel good, princess."

@uzurakis — rqs are open ^u^

[28ms28]

Okay lights out and away we go!

Franco Colapinto emotional radio during formation lap

Vb thanking Ferrari engine(1st time anyone has ever done that)

Max "Turn 1" verstappen going for it and channelling his inner Ferrari boy and taking Oscar out(my favourite Ferrari boy mr max verstappen)

Vb and Sergio Perez making contact and Checo retires from what could be his last race for Redbull or last race in f1 ever

Pierre Gasly is somehow 3rd on the road

and Charles is umm *checks notes* P12 SOMEHOW MAKING UP 7 POSITIONS IN HALF A LAP

yuki had a shit start some clutch problem

And *checks notes again* oh and Charles Leclerc is p8 now lap 2 is not even over yet and he's p8 now he's gained 11 places. ELEVEN

KMAG has gained 7 places. Goat behaviour

Oscar is p19 and last(oof)

Alpine fighting and winning against mercedes(what the hell, sure)

Lando timing the vsc perfectly and running away from Carlos

Oscar hitting Franco and puncturing Franco's tyres(another oof moment for Oscar)(he'll get a pen for that)

Max and Oscar and Vb all get a 10 sec penalty

"move of a wdc that one"(Oscar you funny man)

"We are p8""woohoohoo"(charles you funny man)

It's so over for Mercedes(loosing against alpine)

"G.O.O.D."(Oscar stop)

Fernando Alonso makes his own track up for a while(that was so foul from Martin lmao)

Lewis making up a heap of places not so slowly but surely

Charles Leclerc 3rd track limit strike in span of 12 laps(bro was pushing hard i applaud)(kept in under control for the rest of the race)(i applaud again)

Kmag slow pitstop ruining his race(why does this always happen with Haas)

Alex Albon and Zhou Guanyu apparently being investigated for a false start

Zhou getting a 5sec penalty. Alex is freeee.

Yukierre having beautiful w2w

Charles undercuts George and Pierre and is effectively p3 now

It's a bird it's a plane it's Charles Leclerc overtaking everybody(wtf did he have for breakfast)

Vcarb going a vcarb and forgetting how to properly bolt a tyre and messing up Liam's race(it gets way worse later)

Forget that, it gets worse NOW they get 10 sec stop go for unsafe release on track. That's like 30 seconds.(Wdym it still gets worse later wdym)

Ferrari pitting Carlos and it's a fast stop(2.2). Wonderful

Mclaren pit Lando and holy shit that's even faster(2.0).

Franco retires from the race (goodbye Franco may heaven for Williams tortured drivers welcome you with open arms)

Carlos is pushing his tyres to get closer to Lando (gee I wonder if this will have future consequences on his fight with Lando for the wcc)

Alonso not putting up much of a fight with Max but doing so with Oscar(cinema)

Bono apparently has a plan that can result in Lewis being p3 (Gaslight gatekeep girlboss Bono)(they came close to p3 I'll give him that)

"Stupid idiots" lmao Max and Oscar being their own version of aggressive on the radio lol

Oh my god Valtteri and Kmag making contact. Unfortunate for both of them. One of those contacts you can't really blame on either of the drivers but yeah sucks.

Valtteri retires from the race he had too much damage(the lesson here is don't make emotional radios on the starting grid or you have a high likelihood of not finishing the race)

Kmag sets a fastest lap with a damaged car(goat behaviour)

Both Aston Martin cars committing war crimes against Oscar piastri's race all throughout their race(lol cannot make this shit up)

Ferrari are p2-p3 and both of their tyres are hanging on by thoughts and prayers

"Dou kan do dat": Toto wolff(idk why I put this here I just like making fun of him sometimes)

Martin bringing up Fernando's dark times around the abu dhabi circuit(what did nando do to you Martin let the man be omg)

Oscar almost binned it into the wall cause yuki's car upset his own(nice save tho)

"This😭is😭the😭rhythm": Charles Leclerc(says while barely hanging on to his tyres said rhythm)

Anthony:Carlos has a potential puncture and something has flown into his cockpit apparently. Crofty: ah ok 👍(the skyf1 comms are so unserious my god)

Liam's car realizes that it doesn't want to finish the race and decides to ends itself

Lewis gets that P4 on the last possible moment making a fantastic overtake

Lando wins the race and Oscar got P10 so McLaren win the constructors!!!(They have 666 points.)(This was just in spite against their rival catholic team)

Ferrari 2-3.(Next year will be out year guys Forza Ferrari)(*Shakes violently*)(also this next year will be our year can be heard on lando radio as well lol)

Alpine finished above Haas in the constructors (which a/c to me is baffling that these two teams were even fighting for p6 considering the start of their season)(but no all 4 drivers were on it the whole season)(such a shame for Haas tho at one point it looked like it was surely going to be them)

Max verstappen somehow made it to p6 WHICH IS HIS LOWEST FINISHING POSTION THIS SEASON.I REPEAT P6 IS HIS LOWEST FINISHING POSTION P6.(Goat behaviour).

Lewis and Zhou do donuts(different locations)

Charles leclerc got dod(deserved)

Max went to apologise to Oscar after that turn 1 incident(yes max verstappen apologised)(apparently he does that to the Leclercs)

Lando and team were celebrating very nice to see and then mbs showed up and ruined it(zak brown was there so it already was kind of ruined)(and then the two evils hugged each other...astronomical amounts of evilness was achieved)(the only thing that kind of saved that frame of them hugging was that Lando was hugging his dad in the background)

Charles was sulking even after that masterclass race and then mbs showed up and ruined it even more

Also Jannik Sinner was supposed to wave the chequered flag and he looked absolutely devastated to do that(it's okay Italian boy next year will be our year come back next year)

Cooldown room was carlando+homophobic charles(charles really said RPF is not fine)

Cooldown room was also where zak brown and mbs were(who let them in man)(justice for Andrea Stella)(Andrea left Ferrari for McLaren and when McLaren win he doesn't even get to be on the podium smh)(plus he's cooler than zak brown)

Charles the absolute evil man hehe'ed at Max and Oscar spinning (the only time he smiled after during all of this btw)(lestappies rise)

Podium was nice if you were anyone other than charles leclerc. You have zak brown being borderline animalistic and overjoyus being more happy than the entire team combined lol. Also Carlos's last podium in red♥️

pray for george russell and charles leclerc nothing wrong with them they had to stand on the podium with brad pitt and act like they weren't just sulking.

You also have the Ferrari and McLaren crew hugging each other in the pitlane.(No...fight fight!)(Jk jk no but it's really nice to see those two teams not hold toxic grudges)(The season is over focus on next year if you're a Ferrari fan) (this season is over focus on next year if you're a McLaren fan but celebrate first)

Oh also nico rosberg has been saying Lewis Hamilton is his friend and also the greatest driver of all time(idk what implications this has but I don't think the goat part should surprise you he has always put lewis above others)

We saw 24 drivers this season and 5 of them have not made it past 2024 with a full time race seat. Thank you for your services Kmag, Valtteri, Zhou, Logan and Daniel. History will not forget you and we might see you some other time in f1 nobody knows how this circus works! (also checo could be a part of this club pray for him i suppose)

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Salem: Heeyyy! What's Up! It's me!

Ruby: STOP!

Salem: I don't know how to impress upon you dat physical damage done to my body does not affect me in the long term.

WBYJNOR Come rushing in

Jaune: Ruby We're here to help you! With what, I don't know but I really value our friendship!

Ozcar: oh my god look out for that son of a bitch!

Salem: It's really cute you're gonna defeat with de power of friendship or what all, but again, I am The Devil from The Bible, so, uh, I don't know how well that's going to work.

Ruby: You motherfucker, you didn't let me finish!

Salem: Okay, go ahead.

Ruby: This Power-

Salem: Eh- Dedeededede! Shutup, shutup, shutup- shutthefuckup- I'm the- I don't care, I'm the- I do not Care! You don't understand, I Came back here as a joke to have fun- This is not- This means nothing to me, you mean nothing to ME! Alright! You, and your little friends, are fucking annoying, this is why I stay in hell!

Salem: This is why I punish sinners! I am the good guy! Do you realize- I AM THE GOOD GUY HERE! I AM THE WINNER- OF- OF Everything!

Salem: God goes up there, and he plays with his friends, all like "oh Yeah, yeah, I donated to charity! Ededee~"

Ruby: Uh-

Salem: I GET TO KILL PEOPLE! I GET TO POKE THEM WITH- Hot- STICKS? ALL DAY! IT'S GREAT! *Magicking the relics over* GIVE ME THOSE! You don't get those! You've lost your stupid little privliges! Fuck you! Dipshit!

Salem: *lashes out with magic, Summoning a giant, world ending Grimm*

Salem: THIS IS NOTHING TO ME! YOU MEAN NOTHING! TO! ME! I HATE YOU! THIS IS MY BIG FUCKING THING!

Jaune: Oh my god, she's fucking losing it entirely ...

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

okay this is me bowing and apologizing profusely for probably flooding your inbox with my weird brainrot comments and thoughts but i just can't help myself 🥹 i want to gnaw at the way you write these MEN it's just so delicious....... anyways i had a slight tiny request that you do NOT have to do but......... i was wondering your headcanons on if sanji, shanks, mihawk, zoro and buggy would either be (excuse my french) ass or boob guys, you know what i mean??? i've been wondering this for soooo long though you must know you absolutely do NOT have to hc this i know how many wips you must have 😭😭 

Look here now, no bowing or apologizing, I will not permit it. Tis not allowed.

But unhinged headcanons are very very allowed.

A or B

OPLA!Sanji, Zoro, Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy x AFAB!Reader

Headcanons

Probably NSFW considering the content

But this was oh so very much fun

Sanji

Oh dear gods both absolutely both, both both both, please—

The female body is a temple and he intends to worship every inch of it.

Size and shape is no concern at all.

You're just

Absolutely beautiful

And he wants all of it.

All of it.

Respectfully, of course, but...

ALL of it.

Zoro

Ass. No question.

A little more subtle in admiring you, tilting his head to the side when you walk by to get a good view.

The curve between your waist and your hips drives him wild.

How easily his hands wrap around your waist so he can pull your ass against him.

Grind against you and murmur in your ear how much he wants you.

Shanks

Tiddies. No preference in size, just. Tiddies.

All of them.

In his face, immediately, not respectfully.

Please?

Yes, he knows your eyes are up there, and he loves them as well, they are gorgeous after all.

And he means no offense, but logically speaking, you have no further control over how beautiful your eyes are than you do your breasts, and he's quite taken with both pairs.

And, logically speaking, he can only squeeze the latter of the two without potentially injuring you.

Just let him bury his face and suffocate them between them please

LOGICALLY—

Please don't hit him.

He's quite drunk and means no offense.

Mihawk

Either or neither. He won't admit to any preference.

But he prefers a balance of both.

Whether it's an hourglass figure or a more subtly slender form.

He's more than happy running his hands over either.

He wants to ensure that you feel like a goddess either way.

As no woman worth his time could ever be anything but a goddess.

Buggy

The bigger the better, in either case.

Whether it's a massive pair of jugs or an absolutely glorious can.

The bigger, the better.......

But, oh, dat ass.

He absolutely loves a glorious ass.

One that will jiggle when he smacks it.

Even if you slap him for it.

Absolutely worth it, and he will do it again.

[austinsastrology8991]

> SUN IN THA HOUSE < and whY yoU Be like dat

Sun is our focal point, its our brightest star > you force others to look at you and look at themselves by your star quality <

Sun in the First - Everyone knows them, and they make it a fact that if you don't see them then your the one who is blind. They have a confident swagger, but arrogance to them that begs for the attention of all around them, and everyone is locked in on how or why they have such a powerful presence. Their smiles are contagious too. Also somehow always in the perfect place to say some funny ass shit and keep their style points that they been racking up over the years "You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name" - W.W 'breaking bad'

Sun in the Second - Did I stutter? Im talking about what I need not what I want. These guys are possessed by themselves and everyone loves it. So focused so self contained, they don't want nothing to do with you if you can't help them achieve their goals, and that attitude is sticky and everyone wanna be glued to em because they are destined for success. So they are constantly deciding who they want to share their gifts with, because they know they got it, what you got? "Money, money, money, money, money ain't the motive, What's your name again? Nobody knows it, Don't speak to me n***a, you not important, Im focused" - Tyler, the creator 'smuckers'

Sun in the Third - The whizz kid who didn't study, but stole the test papers and told everyone the wrong answers and kept all the right ones to himself. They are smart and they dont need you to tell them this they just want some more god damn answers. And thats what frustrates everyone, because they know so much already, why they still searching? Well thats how they got so smart dummy "That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope Searching with a fine tooth comb, it's like this rope Waiting to choke, tightening around my throat Watching me while I write this, like, "I don't like this note" - Eminem 'white america'

Sun in the Fourth - The sentimental cry baby that everyone loves to cuddle. Emotional but people find it adorable. They are the rock you can cry on if you want a rock to cry on. Nah but if you need a safe place to cry, you can cry to them, they'll protect you from the harsh waves of others emotional projections, because they get it, even when everyone else refuses to. But don't use em because that'll force them to block you out, and this decision will cause a emotional rollercoaster for the both of you and they'll blame you for it even if it was their decision "And I am done changing words, Just so my songs sound prettier, I just don't care if it hurts, 'Cause it hurts me too" - Faye Webster 'hurts me too'

Sun in the Fifth - The walking confetti explosion, always turnt up and if you trynna lower the volume then they'll oblige ya just so when the volume inevitably goes up again, they'll make it a point that its always more fun with the party up then down. Charming chameleons that are cheesin about the colours they managed to pull off. Watch em dance, watch em sing, watch em do a funny, they can do it all and laugh while doing it, the vibe is them and they are so good at inviting people in on the little big party they got going on "Man I just wanna go flex, Gold on my teeth and on my neck, And I'm stone cold with the flex, With my squad and I'm smokin' up a check" - Post Malone 'go flex'

Sun in the Sixth - Typeracer.com - nah but seriously they always working on themselves and comparing themselves just to make sure their progress is more than what they expected and way more than what others expected of them. Because they here for a reason, and they will never let a opportunity slip, because if they do, they'll stay awake over it for years, and they done wasting their good years. Basically Peggy Olsen "And when your album sales wasn't doing too good, Who's the Doctor they told you to go see? Y'all better listen up closely, All you n***s that said that I turned pop, Or The Firm flopped. Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep" - Dr Dre 'forgot about dre'

Sun in the Seventh - I gotchu what you need? true homies always putting others before them, and i know this gets a bad rap these days but if you ever get one of these friends. Do yourself a favour and stop telling them to stand up for themselves, because they still standing with the weight of everyone else on they shoulders. This way they show others the power of communication. And they still sticking it to everyone who tell em otherwise, so please tell me how they not standing up for themselves? They the loyalist, you got no idea how many people rely on em and thats their pride "Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I'll miss you), Every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah), Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you" - Diddy 'missing you'

Sun in the Eighth - Who went to hell and back? Well they went to a version of it. And they are done hearing whatever you done, because what they did beats your hell tenfold. They don't even wanna put you in your place because they don't wanna hear your attempts to disapprove of them because they've overcome more than some bullshit shit talking. Just put some respect on their name thats all they want. And if not it's easy pickens because think they worse than you, and if you done worse, they don't mind going badder, so be careful, they'll do it. They careful about not being careful so be careful "No I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died twenty years ago, And I live like a man who is dead already, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything" - Skepta 'no security'

Sun in the Ninth - I WOKE UP IN NEW BUGgATTI is how they live their lives, except miss the bugatti but keep the caps lock on. They live by a set of moral philosophies to help them get by and to find excitement/ enjoyment outta life, because they refuse to be a follower, they've seen how sad everyone else is and they just trynna make sure it don't work out that way for them. Educated idiots; making up the rules as they learn the rules to live by their own rules. They lead their own life and it rubs off on everyone on how you should live your own life > teetering the edge of danger and fortune. Also someone who'll give it to you the realest despite being the biggest clown "Black kid get shot, white man get tazed, Media spread lies, politicians get paid, Doctors wanna drug you up so you can reach an early grave, Prisons wanna lock you up so they can fill up every cage Make fifty cents an hour, they gon' work you like a slave, Government gon' play dumb but they know everythin' " - Meechy Darko 'kill us all'

Sun in the Tenth - "Who speaking about me? oh. he ain't shit" - they acting better than everyone, and its fake until it isnt. No one knows when they made it because they always acted like they did. They dont brag they let the audience speak their volumes, hum their symphonies, play their drums, tickle their balls, and they just the orchestrator of it all. Because they doin the most, and they know everyone gonna talk about it so no need to even speak on it. Classy about it too. They on the top and they don't wanna leave so they acting humble but everyone know they really feelin themselves, but hey who wouldn't "I might be too strung out on compliments, Overdosed on confidence, Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence, Drinkin' every night because we drink to my accomplishments" - Drake 'headlights'

Sun in the Eleventh - Trend setters who leave their shit stains on every social setting they enter. They got this influence about them thats hard not to notice, because they have at least three people fawning over em, and they not doing shit. Always trying to spread their influence, so if you want someone to back you its them, because their word is worth more due to their connections. And the easiest way to connect is technology and they all up in the software and getting a hard drive about it. They say some outta pocket shit, but thats where the influenza comes from I guess. They somehow everywhere and no where at the same damn time "It's ironic you talk jail time, But you ain't never seen no central booking (yeah) It's ironic you hang with a n***a that beat women And have the nerve to call yourself "Girl Pusher" Wow! You ain't real, I'm gonna show you how I really feel - JPEGMAFIA 'baby im bleeding'

Sun in the Twelfth - Lonely introspective dreamy creative types. Is what you could say if you wanna sum them up. But there is much more to them, but they are so afraid of letting anyone in because they are so sensitive. Their empathy and ability to look at things from different perspectives is what sets them apart, and they want to be set apart, because they feel alone, and don't wanna pretend they your friend if they ain't. They are extremely creative to a fault, and a lot of people would rather make fun of their works then celebrate how special it is. Until it is widely acknowledged how gifted they are, then everyone will switch up around them. But they will never forget who said what, because they above the whats; aint got time for someone who thought they were just a what "'Cause I'm out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own, I told you I was out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own,I fell down to Earth, From a hundred miles away and somehow I still make it work, But it's overrated and somehow played out" - Oliver Tree 'alien boy'

[l1v1ngd3dgrrl]

yo can u do coquette reader x daisuke pretty please

Daisuke x Coquette! Reader (SFW+NSFW)

an: hope I captured the aesthetic properly, I had to triple check that I was using the right definition.

I'm doing headcannons + mini drabbles, I hope that's ok with you anon <3

MDNI banner: cafekitsune

Cw(s): Use of the nicknames Baby/Princess/Babe/ my girl, praising (Daisuke giving!) , mild nsfw that isn't overly explicit, author is not entirely sure if they captured the coquette style properly.

SFW

How you met

First off, wow. He thinks you look like an angel.

He met you while at a thrift store. You were looking at some porcelain figures, a small rabbit with hand painted details catching your eye specifically.

The more he observed you, the more he wanted to get to know you better..but he didn't want to be a total creep about it.

He stops looking at the various shirts and makes his way over to the isle you're on, playing it cool and pretending to take interest in the various figures in front of him.

An angel with slightly chipped paint makes a light go off in his head.

"Hey uh-" he pauses and holds the angel figure in his hands and gestures it towards you. "I found your twin!' He's smiling nervously, hoping he doesn't come across as some weirdo. When you don't respond he's debating about just dropping everything and running away forever. Some pick up line, huh? When you finally crack a smile smile he relaxes. "Sorry that was cheesy. Uhm I'm Daisuke." He sets the figure down on the shelf. "Well Daisuke nice to meet you, I'm y/n." His mind blanks for a moment, unsure of what to say next. You break the silence by reaching over an picking the angel up and examining it, "So this is my twin huh?" He splutters a bit, fumbling words awkwardly agrees with you. Something along the lines of 'because you're pretty like one' finally leaving his mouth in a coherent way.

You bought the figure and exchanged contact info with him after talking a bit in the store, agreeing on an eventual date.

The first date

You two agreed to go on an official date after three months of talking, something he totally respected and was hyped about once the arrangement was made.

He wants to take you out somewhere nice, but not too up front. Something that he thinks you would enjoy doing is visiting an art exhibit and then eating dinner at this nice little bistro downtown.

When he meets you at the exhibit he's giddy with excitement, and in awe at your outfit. It was simple but still elegant.

During the art exhibit portion of the date he learns you have quite the eye for different French artists, rambling on about the meanings behind paintings and little hidden details that the untrained eye might have missed.

You have brains and beauty, what more can he ask for? (he's learned quite a bit that he never thought he would even be bothered to learn about before.)

Dinner is his treat, he's saved up money for this moment specifically.

During dinner both of you continue to talk, learning more about each other. He learns that you have always adored the 'vintage' hyper feminine style, and how it took you ages to accumulate a wardrobe full of various outfits. Thrifting being one of your common grounds made him so incredibly happy, he's 1000% taking you on a thrifting date if you let him.

(spoiler you do)

"Well, I had a lot of fun." you say as he walks you to your front door. "Thank you for dinner, I had no idea that Bistro was even there!" He chuckles and nods. "I had a lot of fun too! I've learned so much about you," he pauses carefully thinking about his words. "I would really like to take you out again sometime, I think you're a really awesome girl." Your lips curve into a smile and you press a peck on his cheek, a lipstick mark bold against his tan skin. "I'd really like that," you brush away a strand of hair from his face. "I think you're a really awesome guy." you mimic him. He practically melts then and there. "So it's settled, how does next Thursday sound?"

Dating

You two became 100% official after 3 more dates, and you two have been going steady for about 6 months now.

Nicknames he calls you include: a shortened version of your name (if possible that is), baby/babe, my girl. and he'll even whip out the mi amor if he's feeling really romantic.

(tries to) Spoil you with new additions to your wardrobe, or knicknacks. You're 1000% thankful of course, but you don't want him blowing all his money on you.

Your favorite date is when he takes you out downtown and the two of you just spend hours sightseeing and checking out different stores.

NSFW

Now, Daisuke's sex drive is pretty standard for a guy his age and he imagines yours is equally standard for a woman your age as well. He doesn't rush to get intimate with you, lets you call the shots when it comes to initiating. (but not in a submissive way, he's just trying to be a gentleman)

(Though it's not inherently sexual) the nickname princess comes out of his mouth the most in the bedroom, often praising you.

has bought you a couple of lacy bra and panty sets, but melts when you're in your 'grandma' nightgown. Just something about it drives him insane (y'all know that meme about the grandma nightgowns that 'kept her bills paid'? think of something like that.)

rolling back to him praising you, it's not the usual "oh you're taking it so good blah blah blah." WRONG he's telling you how beautiful you look, how angelic you sound, just how perfect you are and how he can't believe how lucky he is to have such a lovely girlfriend.

The headboard lightly thumps against the wall as you buck your hips against Daisuke's. He's below you, groaning and keeping those gorgeous brown eyes fixated on you. Your eyes are shut and lips parted as you moan as you bounce on him. "That's it princess, let it all out." he rumbles, a hand coming up and brushing against your cheek. "feeling good?" you nod and reposition slightly. He chuckles and lets it trail off into a moan. "I'm such a lucky guy to have such a perfect girl"

[babyhatesreality]

The Book was Better

Daddy!Stucky x little f!reader

Warnings: SFW Agere (SSC), f! reader, reader is named but name used sparingly, pet names/nicknames, fear of disappointment, a little language, fluff (I mean really do you expect anything less from me? :D)

PLEASE NOTE- THIS STORY IS AGERE AND SFW, THE REST OF MY BLOG IS NOT NECESSARILY SO. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION. DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS ONTO ANY SITE. Likes, comments, and reblogs deeply appreciated! 

A/N- for @asittwas, who just gave me the loveliest compliment and reblog. Thank you darling!! To all of you- sorry to be gone so long. Life hopefully is going to ease up for a while.

"Alright puppy, you ready?" Steve said, grinning as he finished tying your shoes.

"YES!" you screamed with joy, flinging yourself forward into his arms. He laughed and tossed you in the air, before bringing you into his chest and nuzzling your cheek lovingly. "Can we please go now pleeeeease?"

"Yup, it's go time! Let's get Daddy and head out."

You wriggled with excitement. You all were going to the zoo today! The day was finally here! They'd been hyping you up for a while over it- not that you needed the help getting excited- and you were nearly exploding for joy, hence Papa carrying you to find Daddy. If he put you down, you were likely to run roughly 9000 laps around the apartment just on adrenaline alone. And while chasing you was a good workout for the both of them, Steve and Bucky had agreed to keep your energy reserved for the zoo.

"What animals are you most excited to see today, little one?" Steve asked, bouncing you playfully as you made your way together to the bedroom. They had asked you the same question every day for the past two weeks, and you had a different answer every time.

You tapped your fingers against your lips, thinking. "Ummmm..." you mumbled as you thought hard. "Da tigers, and da sheep, and...and..." Steve pinched his lips together in amusement at this new combo and waited for you to finish your thought, "....and the DRAGONS!"

Well. That was an entirely new one.

Steve carefully cleared his throat, wanting to get ahead of this now. "Baby," he said gently, slowing down his pace a bit. You frowned and looked down at his feet, speaking before he could gather his thoughts and patting him hard on the shoulder.

"Papa, go faster!"

"Baby, listen-"

"Go faster to Daddy!! Now!!!"

"Hey," Steve said sternly, stopping immediately. You bit your lip, looking contrite. "Are you allowed to talk to me that way?"

"I sorry," you said, abashed. "I excited."

Steve smiled gently and gave you a kiss on the temple in forgiveness as he resumed his journey. "I know you're excited. But I need you to listen right now and be a good girl. Understood?"

"Okay, Papa!"

"Good girl. So...so there will be lots of fun animals at the zoo today, and we'll see them all, okay?"

"Okay!"

"But there might not be all the animals you want. Sometimes that happens."

"But dat's where dey live. In da ZOO. Dey gonna be dere."

"I know, honey," he said patiently, praying that this didn't go off the rails. They had been reading the Hobbit to you, and you had become obsessed with the characters, especially Smaug. He was the ultimate villain in all your playacting recently. Steve and Bucky tried so hard not to destroy your make believe world, but he also didn't want you to get crushed when you didn't see anything close to the dragon in your mind today. "We'll see all the animals that live at the zoo. But some animals don't live at the zoo."

"I know! Dey live all over the world and den some live at the zoo."

"Right. So the zoo doesn't have all the animals in the world. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to have lots of fun, right?"

"Right!"

"Right. So if an animal isn't there, then that's okay, right? Because we're still gonna have fun."

"Yup!"

"Okay, then!" Steve said, knowing he had laid the ground work to help you if you mentioned "dragons" again, and feeling pretty good about it. You two walked into the bedroom just as Bucky was pulling on a baseball cap. You squealed in delight, leaning forward out of Steve's arms towards Bucky. He spun around and effortlessly caught you, giving you a huge kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, Trouble, you ready?" he asked as Steve retrieved his own ballcap. "You ready to see all the animals?"

"Yeah! We gonna see DRAGONS!"

Steve's nervous gaze swung to Bucky's face. Bucky was looking at you impassively, clearly in thought. He turned and smiled gently, and Steve's heart stopped racing for a moment. Surely Bucky would help and say the right thing to you.

"Well, you never know at the zoo," Bucky said with a shrug and a grin. You cheered loudly. He chuckled at the look of astonished betrayal on his husband's face as you all headed out the door.

*******************************************************

It became clear to the both of them that the idea of dragons had taken hold of your little mind and was not letting up. The entire way there, you chatted animatedly about how when you saw the dragon, Papa and Daddy could pretend to be the knights and the kings and the elves and the hobbits from Daddy's book and save you- the beautiful princess- from certain death and then you- who also apparently wielded a convenient bow and arrow- would save all the animals in the zoo and become the Princess of New York City.

When you all went through the front gates, there was a blessed time when they thought they might be off the hook from this whole dragon thing. All the sights captured and held your attention. You were instantly mesmerized by the beautiful tigers, you laughed at the silly monkeys, you followed the paths of the birds and the peacocks being very careful not to scare them, and your eyes had taken on a wonderous look when you actually got to feed a giraffe. The petting zoo part had been a huge hit. They were almost home free, thinking about lunch as you skipped in between them down the path, holding both their hands.

"Can we see da dragons now?" you asked politely out of the blue, after about three hours of not mentioning it once. Steve shot Bucky a nervous look.

"Well, Baby, remember how I said that some animals don't live in zoos?" Steve said carefully

"Yeah, but-"

"Well, love, dragons don't do well in zoos. And this zoo doesn't have any dragons."

"Yes dey-"

"No, no they don't. But we can go see other animals and keep having fun, right?"

"Go see da dragons!"

"There's no dragons to see here, baby. We could go look at the zebras instead, how would you like that?"

You shook your head, planting your feet, which caused them both to stop. You pointed to a sign on the left, letting go of Bucky's hand.

"See? Da dragons is DERE!" you said triumphantly. "I see da word!!" They turned and looked. The sign that you were impetuously pointing to listed reptiles, tortoises, and...Komodo dragons. "See? Dragons!" You snatched Bucky's hand again, pulling them in that direction. "We gotta go!" you hollered joyfully, yanking your daddies as hard as you could to follow you.

"She must have recognized the word from looking at the book," Steve murmured to Bucky as he let you drag him towards the enclosure. "Do you think she's going to be upset when...when she sees it?"

"Only one way to find out," Bucky said, failing to suppress his grin at your stubbornness and determination, and trotting willingly with you. Steve sighed, exasperated, internally grumbling and swearing to himself that if you had a meltdown it was all going to be Bucky's fault.

Once you all got closer, you excitedly asked Bucky to pick you up in a hushed voice, knowing that dragons could hear intruders into their caves. You wanted a better view for your first time seeing a live dragon.

Steve watched your face very carefully as the three of you approached the large viewing area. He watched as your brow wrinkled in confusion. He heard you whisper to Bucky.

"Where is da treasure?"

Bucky, to his credit, answered quickly, having worked on his game plan all along. "Probably inside," he whispered back. "You know, so the other dragons and zoo people don't steal it. He's got it hidden extra extra good."

"Dat makes sense," you said, nodding wisely. You craned your neck, holding tightly onto Bucky as he tried to hold in a snicker. "How's come we see outsides and not a cave like da book?" was your next question.

"Because we don't want to go into the cave and get burned up, do we?"

"OH! No, don't want dat."

"I didn't think you did."

"But den how's he gonna come out?" You pointed to the opening in the rock. "Is too small."

Bucky was saved by a lizard in that moment. He didn't have a good answer to that one, but luckily the Komodo dragon chose to make his appearance right then. Both Steve and Bucky turned their faces to watch you as your jaw dropped in utter astonishment. The Komodo dragon took his sweet time stepping out of the enclosure, his long tongue flicking the air around him.

"What's he doing?" you asked in an awed voice.

"He's got the scent of something," Bucky whispered back, actually knowing the real answer here. "He senses and tastes something in the air and he's trying to figure out what it is."

"Ohhhhh," you breathed in wonder. Your eyes took in every inch of that Komodo dragon, your little body jolting with surprise or glee anytime the lizard moved. After about three minutes of you being nearly catatonic with joy at finally seeing a dragon, you turned to Bucky again, confusion crossing your face.

"Is bigger in da book," you commented as you tried to figure out why this dragon was so small.

Bucky couldn't help the snort of laughter at that moment, but as your little frown deepened just a bit, he passed it off as a cough then turned very seriously to you. "This must be a baby dragon," he explained in a lofty voice that was clearly supposed to be a stab at a scholarly approach. "A big dragon probably wouldn't agree to live at the zoo."

"But, den where is his daddy dragon? Is he gonna come back?" you asked anxiously.

"Oh yeah, of course," Bucky said without missing a beat. Steve suppressed a smile, knowing that NOW Bucky was mentally sweating bullets. Then, damn it all, Bucky once again dug himself out of the hole. "You know what? This is probably a distraction," Bucky whispered conspiratorially to you.

"Distra...districta...a what?"

"A distraction. The daddy dragon is guarding the real treasure, while the baby dragon makes everyone come look at him because he's so cute and sweet. No one will think to go looking for their treasure because the baby dragon distracts them!"

"Dat is so SMART!" you gasped in agreed. "Smart dragons! Like da books!!"

"Yup, exactly like the books."

You looked back at the Komodo dragon, smiling ear to ear, then turned back to both your daddies.

"Da book was better," you declared happily, then nodded sagely as if the matter was now closed. "Can we go see zebras?"

You all had a delightful rest of the day at the zoo, seeing all the animals, and that night you cheerfully went to bed without a fuss at the promise of a story with your daddies starring as the knights of New York who saved you from the dragon.

And for the rest of your lives, occasionally Steve or Bucky would turn to each other and quietly say "Eh, the book was better," making the each other laugh to the point of joyful tears.

[lisired]

keep on

pairing: johnny x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, non-idol au, fwb!johnny, alcohol consumption, mentions of addiction/alcoholicism, daddy issues, mommy issues, unprotexted sex (dont b silly wrap ur willy!)

summary: All things love and commitment are feared upon by you. You keep a tight crew and let few people in, cynical of other’s intentions and leaving a trail of broken hearts in your wake. If you break other people’s hearts first, they can’t break yours. And yet, it was all too easy falling for Johnny, digging yourself into a depthless hole of love. But he is no exception to your heartache games.

word count: 13.6k

a/n: this was a pretty quick write. inspired by keep on by kehlani, garden (say it like dat) by sza and off the table by ariana grande featuring the weeknd. have fun reading <3 feedback is appreciated!

Through the blurry lenses of your eyes, love was a synonym for heartbreak.

It happened everyday. People gave people their all and in return, they received nothing but brutal agony. You had seen it happen and experienced the heartache firsthand.

Like when your father left your mother. And thus, the baby they had brought into this world together. It stung like nothing else to watch what became of your mother, drowning her sorrows in liquor. She was never the same.

Perhaps she had passed her bad habits down to you. The apple never falls far from the tree, they say.

Irene’s house was your deemed safe haven for the night. It was Friday and you were having a girl’s night out, but given the gruesome work week everyone had, no one wanted to truly go out.

You strutted inside and collapsed against her island, dropping your purse on the surface. “Get me drunk,” you sighed, tired beyond imagination. Not to mention the text message creeping in your mind.

Yeri giggled and slid you a glass. She had already been drinking, you could tell. She got all bubbly when tipsy. She reached for a bottle, and said, “Irene’s getting the good shit. She’ll be right back.”

They got the bottles and poured the glasses. When they were empty, you didn’t hesitate to fill them up again. There was no doubt that the next morning would bring you a terrible hangover, though you wanted to drink like there was no tomorrow.

You wanted to forget everything. Forget men. Forget the way that they all hurt you. Fuck that, you didn’t even want to remember what hurt was or meant.

They were nothing but trouble.

As the hours ticked by, less and less of your sullenness was masked by your inebriety. It became evident that there was something plaguing your mind. You sat slumped on the couch, bitter.

Irene sat beside you when the coast was clear. The girls had either passed out or gone back home if they were sober enough. But you were seated on her sofa, reeking of depression.

“We can always talk about it, you know,” Irene said softly. She grabbed your hand and let you rest your head on her lap. “It might make you feel better to open up.”

You shook your head and quipped dryly, “And ruin your perfect girl’s night? I thought the point was to de-stress.”

Irene gave you a faint smile and patted your head gently. She was one of the few people who knew the extent of trauma you dealt with. Your every secret was kept under lock and key but she protected them with her whole heart. Irene cared for you, that was undeniable. All things considered, she was like a mother to you. But you depended on no one but yourself and you hated seeming weak. Even if you were.

Besides, there was a time and a place, and this was neither. Ranting about your daddy issues wasn’t the point of tonight. It was to clear your head. Nothing good came out of recalling the irreversible damage your father had inflicted upon your broken family.

I’m sorry. Let me make things right, the text you received read. It made you feel a fusion of emotion - anger, sadness, confusion, disgust. What he did, upping and leaving, was unforgivable. It was a sin.

He broke your family. There was nothing he could do or say to make things right, to mend the shattered pieces. If he wanted to leave then he should have stayed gone. He had no right to try to come and intrude years later. He didn’t get to pick and choose when he could be in your life.

Irene was firm when she told you, “I’m here for you whenever you need me. I know you like to think that you don’t need anyone, that opening up makes you vulnerable, but being vulnerable is okay. I’m not going to attack you for being human and having the feelings you push away.”

Right in the heart - that was where her words always hit you. Irene had a habit of always being right, even if the truth hurt. Even if you desperately wanted her to be wrong. And yet, she never was.

But your lips were sealed. It was too much. Irene could try and soothe you, but even she couldn’t always break you. She sighed, but had another solution.

Irene lifted your head off of her lap and stood, rummaging for her keys. You stared at her with confusion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m taking you to Johnny’s. No buts. If there’s anyone that can get you to open up, it’s him, and the very last thing that you need to be in this state is alone.”

Your eyes flickered with shock. It wouldn’t be the first time that a drunk you had been dropped off at his doorstep - and it more than likely wouldn’t be the last - but you always woke up penitent the next day.

Johnny didn’t deserve that. He deserved better than you.

“But…”

“Ah, ah, ah - I said no ‘but’s,” Irene wielded her dismissive weapon of a finger. Her motherly instincts were kicking in and it meant that her decision was final. “Let’s go.”

With no other option, you followed Irene to her car with a slight stumble in your walk. Given they lived in the same neighborhood, you were at Johnny’s place in a blink. For some reason, you felt nervous. That was how you always felt around Johnny, even if you knew deep down that you had nothing to worry about.

He keeps on taking me in, you thought somberly. He’s nice to me. Even when I don’t deserve it. And I don’t know why.

If you were sober, you might have felt more guilty. Scratch that, you would have felt like nothing short of a villain. And maybe you were. Maybe you were the bad guy, the wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing.

But that was because you couldn’t help but think everyone else was out to get you. Whatever much excuse you could bring yourself to give.

Irene walked you up to Johnny’s doorstep and rang the doorbell. It was late at night and Johnny liked his rest, but he was wide awake when he came to answer the door. And his entire expression changed when his eyes fell on you.

Johnny had seen you too many times too many in this state and just enough to know when you had spent the past few hours maintaining your friendship with alcohol. It was much more effort than you were putting into yours.

Irene squeaked in her soft voice, “Hi.”

He looked stone cold. It made your stomach twist, just a little. Although you knew Johnny was the warmest person there was. He stifled a sigh and said, “Come on, y/n.”

You shuffled right past him and through the doorway. By now it was routine, yet Johnny thought he would never get used to seeing you this way. He tried to help you, tried to get you to break out of your bad habits. And you were genuinely improving. For you to relapse out of the blue meant that you had been triggered.

When the coast was clear, Johnny shot Irene a glare, and snapped, “Why would you let this happen?”

Irene kept a straight face and took his harsh words in stride. If Johnny lashed out at her, she understood. It wasn’t easy dealing with you, loving you, and she could only imagine what it was like to be in love with you. “I know you’re stressed, but don’t antagonize me for her actions, Johnny. I can’t control what she does.”

“No, but you can enable her. And that’s exactly what you do,” Johnny barked.

“She’s one of my closest friends!” Irene shouted, tears brimming in her eyes. “I would never do anything to hurt her. All I want to do is help her. I’ve been trying. Trust me. I’ve been trying so hard, Johnny. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.”

Irene never cried. Much less in front of men. She was too busy being strong for everyone else to let herself be weak. She deserved to lash out, too. Being the calm friend, the responsible one, was hard. And she felt like she only got closer and closer to losing you everyday.

Johnny simmered down once he realized that she was right. All of this was unwarranted. He knew that doing this for you over and over again was only hurting the both of you, and everyone you loved, but he loved you too goddamn much to let you go.

It was frustrating. It made him angry - loving you. Being in love with you. Hearing his heart call out your name. And watching you use him just to dispose of him when you were done like he was some replaceable toy. What made him even more upset was that you were showing progress, and he thought that maybe something good could finally come out of it. Now he had to watch it all go down the drain.

Johnny rubbed his temple and sighed out, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Irene took a deep breath and exhaled. Johnny knew it wasn’t like her to lose her sense like that, but as long as you were hurting, so was she. “Just take care of her. Please. That’s all I ask.”

Johnny gave a nod of head and turned around. He was about to go inside and check up on you when he heard Irene call his name again.

“Please be patient with her. She’s trying.”

She loves you. Irene didn’t say it, but it was clear as day. Written all over her face, swimming in her dark eyes.

He nodded again, more reluctant this time, then pushed his door open and came inside the house. Glancing around, he didn’t spot you nearby. He called out your name, and when you responded, the sound of your voice led him upstairs to his bedroom.

You were now wearing one of his t-shirts, but it looked more like it was wearing you. Things had been like that since you were in high school. He towered over you with the skies above and yet he was filled of nothing but adoration. The memories of you wearing his clothes almost made him break into a smile. Almost.

Instead, Johnny sat down beside you and said, “Are you gonna tell me what happened now or in the morning?”

You frowned. People always wanted to talk, as if talking would make all your problems magically disappear. All you wanted to do was forget that they existed for as long as you could.

Without saying a word, you unlocked your phone, went to your messages, and handed it to him. Johnny gave you a confused glance, but read the text nonetheless. It was from an unsaved number, but the contents of the message gave away everything he needed to know. Clearly, it was from no one other than your father.

“Shit,” Johnny said, more to himself than anything else.

You pushed your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around your legs. “Yeah. Apparently he wants to make up for leaving his daughter and her mother when she was a toddler and driving the woman he used to love into substance abuse. Funny, right?”

Johnny sighed. No wonder you were beginning to sink back into your old ways. This was a trigger and you knew nothing else.

“How’d he even get your number?”

“My mother’s rash decisions or my cousin’s spite for me, who knows,” you shrugged, chuckling. Family reunions weren’t your favorite. At some point of becoming fed up with your family fiascos, you stopped attending. There was no way that you would see your evil cousin, your old-fashioned grandparents, aunts, and uncles, or even your mother. The only thing she and you shared was resent for your father, but you weren’t sure what she was capable of when drunk.

Johnny frowned. As much as it hurt to see you like this, he understood why you reacted the way you did. He was your best friend and your lover and knew you better than you knew yourself. He knew every bit of your trauma, down to the rawest detail - your childhood, all of the boys you once loved that weren’t him.

Part of him wished that you had given your heart to him first. He would have guarded it with a sword and fought off dragons for you. Instead, the boys you trusted handled it carelessly and shattered it into pieces. Now it was much harder to salvage what was left of it.

Johnny pulled you into his arms. He was angry. Angry at your father, angry at the world, even angry at you. But he wanted to be there for you, even if you took advantage of his kindness. When you felt his hands around you, you wept into his shoulder. He smoothed the palm of his hand against your back, and whispered soothingly into your ear, “It’s okay. Let it all out.”

You wept and wept, until you had no tears left to cry. God, you hated crying in front of other people. You hated being vulnerable, but it came naturally when you were with Johnny. Ever since you became friends in high school. And though Johnny never made a move to hurt you, he could have. That was the part you hated. Being vulnerable to someone meant trusting them not to hurt you the way everyone else had.

When you were done, you pulled away and noticed the damp patch on Johnny’s shirt. “Sorry,” you croaked.

“Shirts can dry,” he reminded, and lifted it above his head. “Let’s go to bed. You can talk to me in the morning when you’re sober.”

You nodded, then climbed into bed with him. To say that you hadn’t been in this position before would have been a lie, but you liked being so close to Johnny. He was your refuge from the world that liked to throw knives at you. And when you bled, he was always there to tend to your bloody scars. He made you feel safe, and that scared you more than anything.

Johnny kissed your forehead. “Goodnight.”

Heat flared in your cheeks. Safe didn’t even scratch the surface of how Johnny made you feel, but it would have to for now. You weren’t ready to unpack your feelings for Johnny. You weren’t ready to confront them.

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

Even in the dark, you saw Johnny smile. And beneath it he hid the storms of emotion induced by you that were killing him softly.

Between the pain of knowing Johnny was hurting because of you and the pain of your hangover, you couldn’t tell what hurt more.

It was a well-practiced routine. You woke up with a splitting headache, a bottle of water and Aspirin waiting for you on his bedside, and sometimes Johnny would be tucked into the sheets next to you. When he wasn’t, he was downstairs making breakfast.

And when you woke up, taking in your surroundings and realizing they were nothing like your bedroom, the regret settled in. You’re so fucking selfish, you chastised to yourself. Johnny was in love with you. That was positively the only reason he put up with your bullshit, but he deserved better.

And you were trying to give him better, to be the one that he needed. Given your habits of sleeping around to ignore the weight tugging at your chest when you thought of Johnny and drinking away your problems, you were trying to stop. Instead of drinking, you ranted to Irene or Johnny. Instead of finding someone to toy with for a night, you tried to be a good friend to Johnny.

It worked. Even the rest of your friends caught on to how much better and healthier you seemed. Then, your dad sent that stupid text and your whole world went crashing down. You didn’t know what to do. You were torn. Ripped and shredded to fucking pieces.

Maybe it was time Johnny accepted that he deserved someone better than you. For his own sake. You were a tainter that ruined everything you touched and rotted it to the core.

You popped the Aspirin and came downstairs. Johnny wasn’t there when you woke up, but judging from the delicious scent wafting through the air, he was downstairs cooking.

“Morning,” you whispered, sitting at the island.

Johnny shot you a glance over his shoulder and tended back to the stove. He was making pancakes. “If it isn’t Sleeping Beauty.”

You blushed and tried to hide it, asking coyly, “Momma’s recipe?”

“You know it.”

That made you crack a soft smile. He was right - you did know. Part of you envied the relationship Johnny had with his parents: strong and healthy. That would never be you. You didn’t remember the last time you spoke to your mother and your father was self-explanatory.

You shook your head, and hopefully the thought away. It was too early. Instead, you focused on Johnny. He was still half-naked, and you caught yourself gazing at the details of his bare back. Damn, did he look good.

Then, you watched him cook, subconsciously trailing off into your own head again. I don’t deserve him. He went above and beyond for you, from making you breakfast to even letting you inside in the first place. He held you and listened to your rants and tried his best to aid you, but you threw that all away. And yet, here he was.

When Johnny was finished cooking, he fixed you both plates and sat across from you. Apart from giving him your gratitude, the two of you ate in silence. After a while, he commented, “I thought you weren’t drinking anymore.”

You stared at your plate, refusing to look Johnny in his eyes. That would kill you - seeing the pain submerged in his eyes staring back in you. It was obvious that you didn’t want to have this conversation, preferring to leave words left unsaid. What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you.

Maybe you already knew and you were trying your hardest to ignore it.

��Old habits die hard,” you murmured, fiddling with your knife and fork.

Your relationship with alcohol was typical. Although you weren’t addicted, it was still unhealthy. For the most part, when you drank, it was to forget about the feelings and thoughts plaguing your heart and mind. Escapism was your go-to coping mechanism. You weren’t strong enough to confront your problems head-on.

“You can’t keep doing this.” We can’t keep doing this.

“I know.”

Johnny sighed. “What’s on your mind?”

You bit your lip. Of course, Johnny could tell when there was something troubling you. There was no hiding from him. He was the only one capable of coaxing you of an answer.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shown up here unannounced expecting you to take care of me.” Just like you always do.

Johnny was quick. “It wasn’t unannounced. Irene texted me.”

“That’s not the point and you know it,” you said, finally looking up at him. The expression he sported was grim. It hurt to see the way he looked at you, but you knew that you didn’t deserve his beautiful smile. 

He sighed and glanced off, almost looking offended. “Then, what is your point?”

You shook your head. You weren’t ready to have this conversation and you doubted that you ever would be. “Forget it.”

“No. Talk to me. I just hate when you freeze me out,” Johnny urged swiftly. He hated it more than anything else. All he wanted was your love, but he was quick to realize that it was hard to thaw your frozen heart out.

Eyes drifting back to your plate, you shook your head and whispered, “I didn’t know what else to do.”

Johnny softened up. For fucks sake, you were impossible, but he had too much sympathy for you. He understood why you acted the way you did, even if that didn’t ease the pain or validate your behavior. Most of all, he didn’t want you to follow your mother’s footsteps and become the person you swore you’d never be.

Last night hurt him, too. Patient was all he had ever been with you. He had been patient with you for at least ten years. He was so sick of waiting, but it was safe to say that no matter what, you would be his first and last love.

When the room got quiet, you spoke up again in a little voice, “He texted me Thursday night. I still haven’t responded. I don’t know what to do anymore, Johnny.”

“Do what you wanna do,” he told you, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s up to you. You don’t have to forgive him. You don’t even gotta respond. What he did was fucked up and he shouldn’t expect you to give in easily. But whatever you choose to do, your first priority should be letting go.”

Letting go. Easier said than done. All your life, letting go had never been your forte. Part of you was still scarred by your past lovers. Grudges ruined your life.

There were reasons why you came out this way. Of course, part of it stemmed from your childhood, though not everything and your identity was intricately layered.

In high school, you fell for Lee Jeno. He was the sweetest boy that you’d ever met - or at least you thought he was - and he almost instantly swept you off your feet. Jeno had all the girls swooning and the fact that he chose you made you feel a special type of bliss. Until you found him making out with a cheerleader in the locker room.

Then, in college, you decided to give romance a second try. It was Osaki Shotaro’s turn to break your heart. You remembered like it was yesterday and it was all so sudden. Out of the blue, Shotaro broke up with you and told you that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. He left you for another woman. You couldn’t imagine how many times he had been with her all while being with you. It made you sick to your stomach.

After that, you were scarred for life, scared shitless of love. Boys proved time and time again without fail that their only intention was to treat your fragile heart like dirt on the bottom of their shoes. They walked all over it, taking advantage of your blind love. Fed you lies and empty promises of forever.

That was why you kept your heart guarded and under lock and key. You intentionally kept your relationships short and discardable - no strings attached. You didn’t want to trust anyone else with your heart. They threw it in the middle of a busy highway and now it was in traffic.

Trust issues, they called it. Issues - that was your forte. And you had a variety. Trust issues, abandonment issues, daddy issues, commitment issues. Whatever the label slapped on them, they all controlled every moment of your life.

Johnny added, “I know that’s easier said than done, but promise me you’ll try. Will you?”

You nodded your head and fought back tears. Weak was the word you used to describe yourself in your head. It was far too easy to break you. “I’ll try, I promise. But I don’t know if I can do it.”

“I believe in you,” Johnny whispered, voice soft yet powerful. You were convinced that he had too much faith in you. Never had anyone believed in you this much. Never had anyone loved you the way that Johnny did and you didn’t know how to accept it.

Your heart was at constant war, unable to choose between two stances. Johnny wasn’t like the other men once in your life. Or maybe he was, yet hid it well. Maybe he was waiting for you to trust him to break your heart.

Both of you finished eating and changed the subject. It was a relief. Johnny hated making things awkward and you were grateful for that.

After a while, Johnny drove you back home. You hated leaving and Johnny hated watching you go, but he couldn’t say he wasn’t used to this cycle. You stood at your doorstep and said, “Thanks for breakfast.”

Johnny nodded. “Any time. When will I see you again?”

He liked seeing you. Just not after a long night of you disregarding your troubles with sex and alcohol.

“My schedule’s packed Monday through Friday, but maybe one of those nights,” you said. Often you found yourself making time for Johnny when there was none. And in return, he did the same. He showed you a good time and to your definition, that meant a night of relieving pent up stress. “If not, I’ll see you this weekend.”

“Okay,” Johnny nodded again. “Later, alligator.”

Before he could leave, you leaned on the tip of your toes and smashed your lips against his. Johnny seemed genuinely caught off-guard, but he wasted no time in kissing you back, stealing your every last breath like there was no tomorrow. You liked kissing Johnny. Apart from the warm feeling boiling in your chest whenever he pressed his lips to yours, he was just so damn good at making you feel like you were on a cloud.

You pulled back and caught your breath, smiling. “After a while, crocodile.”

Johnny grinned and walked back to his car.

You didn’t see Johnny again until the following weekend.

Not that you didn’t speak. You and Johnny were inseparable and spoke everyday if you could, via texting or phone calls when there was no chance of seeing each other in person. You told him that you needed time to yourself and he both respected and encouraged your decision.

You were busy thinking - an upside of Johnny’s influence. Most of the time you hated being in your head and avoided it at all costs. It was a dangerous place to be, but you were trying harder to not disappoint him once more.

In that time, your father sent you another message. He wanted to meet up with you and was unyielding. The ball was in your court. You could agree to hear him out or you could block his number and pretend it never happened, but it was no easy decision.

Saturday approached far too leisurely. Uneventful days of work and pondering led to the date of your friends’ betrothal party.

With a very Yuta-esque spin to it. The event was casual through and through. The dress code was loose and neither party held good relationships with their family, meaning most of the guests were close friends. It was a pool party and everyone would be in the backyard.

When you caught up to Yuta and Winwin, you didn’t hesitate to ask, “Okay, I’ll bite. Who did it? Who popped the question?”

Yuta fought a smirk and shrugged blithely. “Guess.”

“Winwin?”

Winwin shook his head. “Nope. Contrary to popular belief, Yuta’s quite the romantic. In his own way, of course. He even crouched down on one knee.”

It was somewhat believable. The Yuta from before he met Winwin wasn’t the Yuta that stood before you now. He had seen the light and became a man of all things love and cheesy.

Still, you teased, “No way. Can’t believe the main hoe of the town is settling down. What happened to being non-monogamous buddies?”

“Shit changes,” Yuta said, sighing blissfully as he wrapped an arm around Winwin. Then, he teased back, “Besides, we both know it was either me and Winwin or you and Johnny next in fate’s line.”

You blushed and spluttered, “Where’d you get that idea from?”

Both boys laughed like you had told the funniest joke. You narrowed your eyes, and Winwin answered for his future husband, “I know I’m the latest addition to the gang and all, but even I can see the sparks between you and Johnny. There’s obviously something there. I don’t know why you haven’t acted on it.”

Yuta exchanged knowing glances with you. He probably understood you the best out of everyone present. Your life’s weren’t carbon copy’s of each other, but he had lived the closest thing to your trauma. You weren’t ready. For a while, neither was he, but if he could let go and move on, maybe so you could you.

“There’s been sparks since motherfucking junior high. It’s always been a given that you two like each other and you’ll get together one day in the future. I couldn’t see it any other way,” Yuta said.

That should have made you feel happy, but all you could feel was dread and regret fused with yearning. All of your friends could see you together, but you weren’t sure if you could give him that. How selfish of you to be the one holding the two of you back.

You should have told him to move on and let you go. Instead, you avoided confrontation for as long as possible, craving every moment of his love and attention until the flame went out. You didn’t want to give him all of you yet, but you didn’t want to give him away either. Losing Johnny meant that he would never be yours. Maybe that was what it would take for you to open your eyes.

New guests caught Winwin’s eye and he tugged on his fiancé’s arm. “We’ll catch up with you later, we have to greet the other guests. Come on, Yuta.”

“You go ahead, babe. I’ll be right behind you in a minute,” Yuta dismissed. Winwin only nodded and went to greet their guests. Then, Yuta turned to you and quietly asked, “Everything okay between you and Johnny?”

“It’s your engagement party. Don’t worry about us,” you sighed, searching for the bar through the corners of your eyes.

Yuta was quick to retort, “And you’re my friends. I can worry about you whenever I want. Now, what’s up?”

You bit your lip. This wasn’t the kind of conversation you had in the middle of a betrothal party, but Yuta was adamant. You thought about the last time you had seen Johnny, how you felt when you kissed him. God, you missed the feeling of his lips on yours. Whenever Johnny was near your side you wished that you could hit pause on time. It was funny how the most beautiful moments in life were the most short-lived ones.

Your voice was small when you said, “I’m not a good person, Yuta.”

Yuta glanced at you curiously, eyes urging you on. “What you do?”

“I let Johnny down. A couple of weeks ago I told him that I’d try to break out of my habits. And I was actually doing better. I stopped resorting to drinking whenever something inconvenienced me and finding one-night stands to forget about Johnny.”

Yuta nodded along. “And then?”

“And then, my dad texted me and said he wanted to make things right between us, and I didn’t know what else to do. I got drunk last Friday night and Irene took me to Johnny’s house. I don’t remember much, but I know I winded up telling him what happened and crying on his shoulder,” you chuckled sourly. “He made me breakfast the next morning and we talked about it. And I feel bad because he doesn’t deserve none of this shit. He deserves someone better.”

He deserves someone that isn’t afraid to love him.

“Are you gonna be that person?” Yuta questioned, tone genuine.

I want to be. You exhaled. You didn’t know the answer to that.

You blinked, feeling tears threatening to fall. “I don’t know. The worst part is he has so much faith in me when I’m not even sure about myself. He should have walked away a long time ago, but he’s still here, waiting for me.”

“He’s ready when you are. But you aren’t ready yet, are you?”

Shaking your head, you frowned. You were far from.

“Be better. Do better,” Yuta said assertively. “I know that’s harder than it sounds, but you gotta try. Figure that shit out with your dad. What you choose to do is none of my business, but you have to heal and let it go so that you can be a better person for yourself and for Johnny.”

“That’s practically what Johnny said.”

“Great minds think alike,” Yuta grinned.

You snickered. “You got engaged and got all wise and shit, huh?”

“You know the tale. My dad was a drunk and treated me and my Mom like shit. It was up to me to decide if I wanted to grow into him, or if I wanted to be better,” he spoke monotonously.

But you were scared. You wanted to do things the right way, but you weren’t certain if you knew how. “What if I mess up?”

Yuta didn’t hesitate. “The point of mistakes is to learn. We all fuck up once or twice. That way, you know what not to do so you don’t fuck up the third time. It sucks, but that’s the way life works. Don’t make the same mistake thrice.”

He spoke the gospel. Where your family lacked, you were at least glad to have supportive friends. They were kind and you knew at the end of the day, they were people you could confide in. Maybe you would do it more often.

“I won’t,” you told Yuta. You sounded firm.

“Good,” he replied, and scanned the crowd for Winwin. “Now I gotta go with Winwin before he beats my ass in front of everybody. You go find Johnny, alright?”

You nodded. That you would. It had been too long since you had heard his voice and felt his touch and you were craving a taste. With that, Yuta left to join his husband-to-be and you scanned the crowd for your own lover.

In an instant your eyes landed on Johnny and you could spot him in any crowd. He was at the edge of the pool talking to Ten, who you caught casting Johnny a wink before walking away once he noticed you coming over.

When you got there, you crouched down and sat next to him. “Hi.”

“Hey,” Johnny greeted, instinctively wrapping an arm around your waist. “You look great.”

You blushed. This morning you had deliberately chosen the sexiest bikini set in your wardrobe. It raised the stakes and given how addicted Johnny was to your body, your chances at getting laid tonight. “You look the best.”

Johnny was also half-naked, obviously. And damn did he look gorgeous. You bit your lip. You were thoroughly convinced that the gods themselves had sculpted him. His body was to die for and you were offering yourself up.

Johnny joked, “I won’t argue with that.”

You snickered and nudged his side.

“How was your work week?”

Johnny groaned and you immediately knew the answer to that question. “I’m stressed and exhausted. I need an outlet for my pent up frustration.”

“Oh?” you stammered, mouth suddenly dry.

“Yeah,” Johnny said. His hand ran up and down your back and he leaned to your side, whispering, “Good thing I have you, right?”

There was a crushing weight on your chest that made it difficult to breathe. Whenever Johnny was near you, the pressure came back, and it only got more intense when he did things like that. The effect he had on you was strong and he had you tingling with lust.

“Yeah,” you murmured back, trying hard to keep your cool and avoid appearing anything other than indifferent. But he could see right through you. “Good.”

“What about you?” Johnny pressed. “How was your week?”

“I don’t wanna think about it,” you grumbled.

Johnny was so close to you that you could feel the warmth of his body radiating your skin. Given the sunny weather, you were already hot, but something about this felt internal. It was like trying to breathe on the moon. Johnny parted his lips and suggested, “Kiss me until you forget about it.”

There was no need to tell you twice. You initiated the kiss, steering his lips to yours until they met with a clash. Johnny took control, arms still wrapped around you as he took passion to another level. It wasn’t long before you were sucking on each other’s tongues. You crawled into his lap for easier access, wanting to be as close to him as humanly possible.

Heat flared from your chest to Johnny’s and vice versa, spreading from bone to bone at the skin on skin contact. Whenever you made out, it was like you were floating in air or navigating through space with no gravity. His hands clung to your body and you were on a cloud, elevating and trying your hardest to refrain from grinding down on his crotch.

Johnny deepened the kiss, holding you tightly as possible and moving his mouth against yours fiercely. His heart was thundering against and threatening to leap out of the cage of his bare, burly chest. God, there was no greater pleasure than kissing you and feeling your warm body on his. But you both were putting all of your strength into resisting each other and it was too much. The feelings were overbearing.

When you both pulled away, you exhaled little breaths, hearts racing. You looked Johnny in his lustful eyes and heaved, “I like kissing you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You taste good as hell,” you flirted.

“Mm,” Johnny hummed, nodding his head. He pulled you square to his chest, face hovering hardly inches over yours. You gulped, which undoubtedly didn’t go unnoticed. “What do I taste like?”

You pressed your palms to his naked chest, purring, “Strawberry champagne.” 

“Yeah, you missed the bottle popping,” he chuckled. God knows you would have loved that.

Faking a pout, you replied, “Bummer. I was too busy trying on different bikinis.”

“You wear this all for me?” Johnny flirted, ever the intuitive man. Unbeknownst to you, he had been eyeing you from the moment you stepped onto the scene. And the second he laid eyes on you in your bright red bikini, he knew that he had to have his way with you.

“Especially for you. I know blue’s your favorite color, but red suits me better.”

“You make short work of supermodels in anything you wear,” Johnny growled. He was looking at you from head to toe, as if he were going to swallow you whole.

“You’re just saying that because you wanna have sex with me.”

Johnny wasted no time in shutting you down. “I’m saying it because it’s true. Sex would be a nice bonus, though.”

You laughed.

“Come swim with me,” Johnny said, gently sitting you back on the edge of the pool before coming to his feet.

You hesitated. “Won’t Yuta be upset we ditched him at his engagement party?”

“That wasn’t a question,” Johnny added, lowering his voice. Which definitely did unspeakable things to you. “And trust me - Yuta doesn’t give a flying fuck as long as we join in when it’s time to gather around and shit.”

That was true. It didn’t mean Yuta had unsophisticated tastes, he simply just didn’t care for rules and formalities - untraditional by any means. Winwin was the opposite. Conventional to a fault, he was a man of decorum and the party was a clear mix of both of their personalities. Somehow, they both made it work.

Ignore the pace of your heartbeat, you muttered, “Okay,” and sunk into the pool.

Johnny followed suit with a tiny splash, swimming to your side. Being in the water felt good, all things considered. It was cold and gave your brain - and body - a quick refresh.

“You know, this reminds me of high school,” he started, pensive. “When Joy threw that pool party on the first night of summer break, and Jaehyun pushed you into the pool as a joke.”

The memory made you roll your eyes. In high school you were nothing if not a bunch of stupid teenagers. “He’s lucky I didn’t let myself drown and have my Mom sue him for everything he’s worth. Now that I think about it, I should have. Every penny to his name. Mommy and Daddy Jung would have killed him.”

Johnny chuckled. “Oh for sure. He would have been taking the city bus instead of high-end luxury cars and gotten a job at the nearest McDonald’s like the rest of us.”

“Damn nepo baby,” you shook your head and sighed. “Gotta love him, though.”

“To be born into wealth,” Johnny sighed dramatically.

You giggled.

Moments later, a thought passed your mind. A memory - the beautiful kind. You fought a smile and asked, “You know what else happened at that party?”

Johnny gave you a long, hard cook. It was practically inscrutable and noncommittal. If he had any idea what you were referring to, the only thing that gave it away was the slight smile on his face for a mere fraction of a second.

Of course, he knew. How could he forget? It was easily one of the best moments of his life, made even better because it was spent underneath the moonlight with you.

He shrugged, feigning oblivion. “What happened?”

“We made out for the first time,” you reminded, voice little. “We were each other’s first kiss.”

The memory was anything but vague. The both of you were a little drunk, and somehow found yourselves in each other’s embrace. And then, in each other’s mouths. For someone who had never made out with anyone before, then-Johnny kissed you like royalty. With every intention to conquer your mind, heart, and body.

In that sense, you guessed he had been successful. Johnny lived rent-free in your mind and had built a little home both there and in your heart, with enough room for the both of you. Not to mention your body. You were counting down the seconds until you could get him in the sheets right now. In your attempts to keep him out, you had simultaneously been giving him access to the most vulnerable parts of you.

To say nothing of himself. Johnny wished he could turn back time. Part of him wished that he could undo meeting you and falling in love with you, because he was beginning to lose faith in the two of you. The other part of him loved you too goddamn much to even begin to imagine a world without you in it. It wouldn’t be worth living.

“I remember,” Johnny assured, finally letting himself smile. He couldn’t control it. “Wanna know what you tasted like?”

You squinted. “What?”

“Guess.”

You rolled your eyes and deadpanned, “Your mother’s chocolate chip cookies.”

Johnny’s laugh was mocking. “You wish.”

Whining, you said, “Tell me! I don’t remember.”

He gave in - though because he wanted to and not because you told him to - and replied, “Tequila.”

“The cheap kind?”

“Nope. I’m sure Jaehyun stole that from Mommy and Daddy Jung’s liquor stash,” he quipped.

You snickered. It was a relief that he was good at directing conversation. For a moment, you thought that it was going south. God knows the past was a sensitive subject.

Although he said nothing, Johnny couldn’t help but think about it. For years, he had been in love with you. He remembered meeting you like it was yesterday - you were the new kid in school and Johnny was the one kind enough to be your friend. He showed you around, ate lunch with you, studied with you, and introduced you to his friend group. In no time, you were best friends.

You were his first kiss. Johnny knew he wanted you that night. When he pressed his lips to yours and felt his body elevating into the clouds above, he knew.

Eventually you became a series of each other’s firsts. First kisses, first times, first loves. You had been vulnerable to each other in ways that you hadn’t with anyone else.

And you, you were multifaceted. Johnny had seen the rawest sides of you and fell hard and deep in love with each one - the beautiful and the ugly. All of those things made you fall for Johnny, too, but you noticed it a little later than he did, once it was too late. Which hindered his progress.

By the time you realized you were in love with Johnny, you had already given your heart to the wrong people. That was why you couldn’t comprehend how someone would ever be able to offer you their love, and mean it. That was why you trusted no one.

Forget being your first. Johnny wanted to be your last and as the clock ticked, his chances felt slimmer and slimmer.

You stared at his lips, not even attempting to hide the direction your eyes were searching. “I want strawberry champagne.”

Johnny tilted his head. He had x-ray vision when it came down to your intentions, though this game he wouldn’t mind playing along with. “Do you?”

When you nodded, Johnny took the bait and leaned in to kiss you. It was like magic. Every time felt as surreal as the first one. You just couldn’t believe that you were blessed enough to have him at your fingertips.

Johnny was the same. I love her. It was old news to almost everyone, though the realization hit Johnny the same way it had that night when he first tasted you. When he realized that you were the one and only love of his life.

Sucking on Johnny’s tongue and moaning into his mouth, soaking in all his little sounds was all you wanted to do. Maybe this was why Yuta said you and Johnny would be next in fate’s line. It would be a lie to say that you hadn’t dreamt of having your daddy walk you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.

Though if there was anything that you had learned, it was that fate was an evil lady and she had it out for you.

Johnny soon backed off. He hadn’t had his fill, but you were driving him crazy. And as much as he wanted to be a good friend to Yuta, the urge to drag you away for a fuck was growing stronger. He warned in a low tone, “We’ll miss the rest of the party if you keep kissing me.”

“What’s so bad about that?” you purred, leaning closer to his face. You could feel each other’s breath on your skin. “We can have a party of our own.”

To your credit, you were dangerously skilled at tempting Johnny. It made him feel bad to think that you practically already were having a party of your own. Both of you were surrounded by people, but to him, it felt like there was no one else around you. The sound of your voice and laughter had been drowning out the sound of the presence of people.

With the last of his restraint and self-control, he said, “Mm, that’s tempting. But no. Be a good girl and be patient.”

Immediately, you frowned, but didn’t dare disobey. Johnny would give you what you wanted sooner or later because you knew that he wanted you, too. And though you had your flaws, you weren’t terrible enough to dip in the middle of your friend’s betrothal party.

“Fine,” you said exasperatedly, peeling yourself off of him. “But you better make it up to me later.”

Johnny gave you one last kiss to placate you a little, then whispered softly in your ear, “Don’t I always?”

That he did.

For the better half of the evening, both of you decided to interact with other people, including the ones being celebrated. Most of the time you and Johnny were incapable of resisting each other, and with the thoughts plaguing your minds, there was no way on earth that you would survive side to side without breaking your agreement.

You had a fun time, but you were more than relieved when Winwin announced that he and Yuta wanted some alone time. Everyone said their goodbyes and you raced to Johnny’s side.

“My place or yours?”

“Mine’s closer. Meet you there?” Johnny asked, though he already knew you would. You were practically careening to your car the moment he got the words out.

“Meet you there!”

Both of you arrived in turn, with you slightly ahead of him. You didn’t even wait for him to pull into the driveway before you were rummaging through your purse for the extra key Johnny had bestowed upon you long ago.

It was game over once he stepped out of his car and you were only alone for a split second before he entered, wasting no time in backing you against a wall and stealing a kiss. Johnny always kissed you like it was the last time he would ever get the chance. There was something eager in the way that his mouth moved against yours. It was heated, unchaste. He kissed you so hard that it was impossible to keep up with his pace.

“Someone’s desperate,” you teased through shallow breaths. Johnny nibbled at your ear and you sighed, pitching your head back against the plaster.

He ribbed, breath tickling your neck, “You’d oughta know a thing or two about being desperate. Seeing as you got to my house before me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Under any other circumstances, Johnny would have teased you and made you wait before he kissed you again. Though seeing as he had been waiting too goddamn long for this moment, all he could do was cave.

Goddamn, his lips were soft. In contrast to the rough manner he handled your body. Everything was escalating too quickly and you were being dug into the wall by the weight of his body. There was so much tension in the room that you could hardly even breathe through it.

Johnny nudged his knee between your thighs and stuck his hand down your bottoms, the other roaming your body. “You’re so wet for me.”

“Do something about it,” you whined.

Johnny sneered. Part of him was half-tempted to tease the living hell out of you and see how much you could take. The other was losing hold of his heavy load of patience much more quickly than he would have liked.

“Wanna fuck in the shower to wash off the chlorine? Kill two birds with one stone.”

“Just don’t let me fall.”

He smiled. “I would never.”

Before you knew it, he was lifting you up in his arms like you weighed nothing. You squealed when you felt yourself being hauled into the air, locking your legs around his waist and resting your head on his shoulder. It felt too right being in his hold. As if it was supposed to be this way.

Maybe it was.

Johnny carried you to his bedroom and you clung to his chest for dear life. While he went in the bathroom to run the shower, you began to quickly peel off your clothes. You were on the threshold of insanity, bursting at the seams with lust. 

When the water was hot, Johnny stepped into the shower and you followed suit. As soon as your feet hit the non-skid shower mat Johnny shoved you against the wall, and the noise you made was eaten by the force of his lips. Your palms rose to his wet chest and his mouth fell from yours to your collarbone, soft and plush against your skin.

He simply couldn’t stay away. He spread your thighs apart and slipped one of hands back between them, this time moving them inside of you. Much to your pleasure. “Johnny,” you whimpered, breathless.

The sound of your lips parting to emit his name was like music to his ears and a melody stuck in his head. Thoughts of you underneath him, crying out his name whilst taking his size kept him up late at night, wishing he could rewind time to feel you back in his arms again. Where you belonged. It took every bit of willpower he had not to beg you to stay.

“Think you’re ready for me?” Johnny asked, leering at you with the darkest gaze that made your stomach churn.

You nodded. Johnny was big, that was undeniable, but you had taken every inch of his ungodly combination of length and girth countless times before like a champ. It was almost nothing to you.

He removed his fingers from your cunt and before you got the chance to whine from the emptiness, your lips were widening to sigh at the feeling of his bare cock brushing against your folds. Every second felt like minutes and your patience was wearing more and more thin. You needed him and you needed him right now.

Then, Johnny finally pushed inside, taking his sweet time to fill you. You swallowed him in with ease, simultaneously sucking in the deepest breath you could take. His eyes fell on your chest, water trickling down the swell of your breasts as you inhaled and exhaled.

Maybe taking him wasn’t like nothing. You felt not an ounce of pain, but the pleasure of having him fill you to the uttermost was overwhelming. The stretch meant something.

The moment the head of his girth prodded your entrance Johnny had already felt you pulsing tightly around him and you only kept clenching the deeper he pushed inside. You raced to anchor yourself, clawing at his shoulders while he pushed you firmer against the wall and he caged you between his big arms.

Johnny kissed your neck, then growled, “So tight for me.”

“All for you,” you stammered through thick breaths. It was too hot to breathe. The water burned your skins and Johnny made you erupt in flames all over.

Johnny grinned smugly.

Through hooded eyes, you soaked in the sight of water cascading down his neck - where his muscles flexed - and chest. For the better half of your life, Johnny had been a presence, but you would never get used to how gorgeous he was. His beauty was so ethereal to the point that it felt forbidden to be able to touch him like this. He was sent from the heavens above, both a blessing and a curse to you and your body.

The chains of restraint that bounded him snapped and Johnny latched his mouth to your nipple, meriting an automatic sigh of pleasure from your lips. With how close he was, you wondered if he could feel the thud of your heartbeat. It was racing inside your chest, the feelings you had for him raining hail and begging for freedom. Your heart was bursting at the seams with your love for Johnny and it pleaded desperately for you to unlock its door.

“You’re so hot,” Johnny whispered, keeping himself occupied with your body. Your brain was going into autopilot.

From Johnny’s perspective, your body was a treasure, and he knew its map by heart. All of your weaknesses were on display in his mind and he could choose whichever one he wanted to use to his advantage. He knew what felt good and what felt earth-shattering, and judging from the way you throttled his cock, this was the latter.

Neither you or Johnny talked too much during sex. It was difficult to speak when you were being fucked divested of every little thought you possessed and your mouth was too busy producing other noises.

And all Johnny hoped was that his body could say everything that words could not.

He couldn’t think of anyone else when he was with you, and when you were with someone else, you were still thinking of Johnny. Given the amount of nights you had spent searching for one-night stands you were no stranger to sex, but Johnny made it feel different. The emotions were stronger and so was the yearning. The two of you fucked each other like you had never wanted anything so badly before in your lives.

Johnny struck you somewhere deep and you rasped, “Fuck, baby.”

Fuck, he felt good. Even though you were prone to running away, there was no doubt that you would find yourself coming back for more. Johnny was your home and your heart would always drag you back to him. He owned your body. Whatever he desired to do with you - to you - you would let him. At the end of the day, you were his. Whether he knew it and you accepted it or not.

It wasn’t a choice. It was a feeling.

Looking at the dazed expression on your face gave him deja vu. The first time Johnny had sex with you, he genuinely thought that his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He was nervous, but if anything, dedicated. He vowed to himself that he would learn the ways of your body and put your pleasure before his. Which he did.

It was college, months before you met your soon-to-be ex, and you were freshmen. Giving your virginity to one another was one of the most unsurprising things that you two had ever done. At least back then, you were thick as thieves and did everything together. Who better to give it to than the one you could always bet on?

He still remembered that night like it was yesterday. All of your friends were going to a party, but you snuck inside his dorm while his roommates were away. One thing led to another and soon you were writhing beneath him, calling out his name like it was the only word you knew.

His feelings for you only heightened.

Johnny could still remember how heartbroken he was when you got with another man again - and how angry he was when he broke your heart just like the last guy. The emotions were so prominent that he could still feel them now. How long would it take you to realize that the man meant for you was already right by your side?

Even if he wasn’t the perfect match for you, Johnny knew deep down that he could love you better, because he already had without even needing to be in a relationship with you. Maybe if those boys had treated you right, then he could have came to peace with the fact that fate wasn’t on his side and you weren’t meant to be. But watching you cry after other men treated you like nothing only fed his flame.

“You close, baby?” Johnny asked, aiming to take you over the edge. His number one goal was to drive you out of your mind.

You could only nod, willing yourself not to speak. The words that would have left your mouth if you did were unimaginable.

Johnny fucked you even harder, chasing relentlessly for your orgasms. And you were just as - if not more - eager. He fought a complacent simper as he admired the way you were maneuvering your hips against his, whimpering with every touch.

The look on his face made you run your tongue over your dry lips. Barely were you resisting the urge to smash your lips against his. That look alone made you want to milk him dry of everything he was worth.

As badly as you wanted to savor every last moment, you could feel it in your bones that your orgasm was approaching. Listening to the noises resounding throughout the bathroom was what finished you - the sounds of your moans and Johnny’s hips slapping into yours with every thrust drowning out that of the shower pouring down on you both. You convulsed with release, gripping Johnny’s biceps for dear life as you met your orgasm with a high-pitched cry of his name.

Johnny wasn’t too far behind you. He couldn’t even grunt at the feeling of your nails digging into his flesh - it was outweighed by that of the pleasure of you clenching tightly around him with orgasm. It triggered his own, and he held you bruisingly tight as he spilled inside you with the lowest groan he could muster.

“You okay?” Johnny asked the moment you both were in the clear to speak.

You nodded weakly. “Perfect.”

Johnny smiled.

The two of you actually showered once you had caught your breaths, occasionally interrupting the other with a kiss. When you got out of the shower and re-dressed, Johnny pinned you to his bedroom wall and enveloped your lips in the biggest kiss yet. It was noticeably different from the other kisses that you had shared as of late. They were lustful and impatient. This was slow and steady - like he wanted nothing more than to savor the very taste of you.

He pulled away and whispered adoringly, “I love you.”

Your brain immediately went into overdrive. Given that you were childhood best friends, of course you and Johnny had said that you’d loved each other before. That was indubitable and not to be questioned. But this was different. This was in the context of a post-sex I love you.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

Johnny bristled. “I do mean it. I love you.”

Sighing, you walked off to his bed. You weren’t ready to have this conversation.

He stared at you incredulously, and reminded, “I’m not them.”

It was obvious who them was. Your past lovers. The ones that had left you so heartbroken that you could no longer let anyone inside your glass heart.

You shook your head, voice small when you replied, “I don’t know that.”

Johnny was visibly offended and upset. “How can you say that?”

“I don’t want to fight, John,” you said, exhaling loudly. This had escalated far too quickly and everything was heading in the wrong direction. For as long as you could, you wanted to steer clear of this course. But deep down, you knew that it had been inevitable.

He ignored you, walking closer to you and pestering, “I need answers. Do you really think I don’t love you?”

“Johnny…”

He didn’t relent. “Answer me.”

Frustrated, you shouted, “I don’t know what to think, Johnny! I’m scared to trust people - you know this!”

“And do you think I deserve to be punished for that?” Johnny snapped, white-hot rage seeping through and his restraints falling loose. “You and I both know I’m not just ‘people.’ We’ve known each other longer than you knew them. I’ve been here with you, for you, for a goddamn eternity. When have I ever let you down, huh? Tell me!”

His tone made you flinch and you were given whiplash. Johnny rarely got upset and never did he ever yell at your face, even if you sometimes deserved it. He was patient with you. For him to finally snap meant that you had wounded him deeply.

“I’m scared,” you croaked, teary-eyed.

“Right, you’re scared,” Johnny groused, turning around and heaving a thick breath. “Forget it.”

Pain burned through your chest in flares much like the anger spreading like wildfire throughout Johnny’s. Goddamn, this hurt. Was love supposed to be so complicated? Was love supposed to ache like this?

It hurt so good to love Johnny.

You stood up and shook your head. “No,” you told him, demanding, “Get it off your chest. Everything you want to say to me - say it right damn now!”

It wasn’t for you. No, you knew that the following words to come out of his mouth were going to scar you indefinitely. It was for Johnny. You knew that he had been holding all of this back for a long time and now this was his chance to erupt his heart volcano.

Johnny stormed right back over and said, “You want me to be honest?”

You nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks. He deserved it. You deserve it. You treat him like shit.

“Fine. I’ll be honest,” he seethed. You gulped, bracing yourself for his words to come. “You wanna know something? You’re so fucking selfish. You’ve been breaking my heart just because you’re trying not to get yours broken.”

That was true. You had been sacrificing his feelings in an effort to preserve yours and it was a futile plan - Johnny had already crawled his way inside your heart, yet you were still trying to keep him out.

“You have too much pride to show people your scars and that’s why every time I get closer, you push me away. Because all you know how to do is run like a coward. That’s what you’ve resorted to your whole life because you don’t know any better. But you can’t hide.”

You bobbed your head, willing yourself not to speak. Both of you needed this.

Johnny’s voice got lower as he said, “You think you can hide, but you can’t. You can’t fucking drink all your problems away. You can’t fuck them away, either. You can’t keep running to me and using me to dry your goddamn tears every time you realize all your problems are still there!”

“Johnny…” you called out through tears. As true as his words were, they stung. And guilt was eating at you from the inside.

“No. You fucking asked for this shit,” Johnny snapped, scowling. “I’ve been nice to you and patient with you, but all you do is take me for granted. And it hurt when you said you didn’t think I loved you, because I could have stopped putting up with your bullshit and cut you off a long time ago - but I didn’t. You know why? Because I fucking love you. And walking away would hurt as much as it does to stay.”

You told him softly, “I love you, Johnny.”

“Do you love me enough to stay?”

The room got silent. Did you? You knew that you wanted to, but damn was it hard. You were just so goddamn scared of hurt and betrayal. You had been left before and it broke you. It shredded you to the tiniest of pieces. But Johnny made you feel complete and whole again.

“Answer me. So I know if it’s time we move on,” Johnny commanded, impatient. “Am I just some booty call to you?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what the hell are you saying?”

“That I need you!” you screamed, the tension getting to your head - and your heart. It was too goddamn much. “I can’t live without you, Johnny. I can’t. I won’t. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose what we have. Losing you would be like losing the other half of me.”

Johnny got in your face again, but instead of yelling at you, he smashed his lips against yours. Just like that, you were relieved of the burden of all your fears and worries. He absorbed them and kept them somewhere safe, just like he did with all of your other secrets.

He kissed you with an emotion that was unmistakable - love. So much love. Maybe you had been blind to it before, but you could see it all clearly now.

Johnny was in love with you. And you were in love with Johnny.

“You’ll never, ever lose me,” Johnny swore in your ear once he detached himself from your mouth. He wiped at your tears with his thumb. “I promise. You’ve got me for life, alright?”

With a couple nods of your head, you crashed into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you snugly, welcoming your touch. This was where you were meant to be.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized after a couple of moments. It didn’t undo the pain you had been inflicting upon him for years, but it was a starting point for something better.

Johnny held you closer and kissed your forehead, then whispered softly, “I forgive you.”

He shouldn’t have, though you were grateful that he did. If it weren’t for his tenderheartedness, you weren’t sure what you would do.

“Let me be yours,” you sang.

It was tempting. You were offering him everything he had ever wanted on a silver platter. Granted, it didn’t take much to satisfy him - all he wanted was you. But as much as he wanted you, he wanted the most authentic version of you.

“Not yet,” Johnny said. You gawked, but he finished before you could interject, “I want to be in a relationship with you, but you need to take care of yourself first. Start tackling your problems. For starters, figure out what you’re going to do about your dad. Okay?”

You exhaled a long breath, but eventually nodded. “Okay.”

Johnny fought a content smile. “I’ll support whatever decision you choose to make,” he assured, pulling you closer to his chest. Then, he glanced down and asked, “Now - are you gonna run away or are you gonna stay the night?”

“I’m going to confront my fears and stay with you,” you whispered, refusing to separate yourself from the warmth of his body. You weren’t sure how you had done it before in the past. Tonight had given you an epiphany.

“Atta girl,” Johnny praised and led you to his bed. You flopped to his side, snuggling to his chest. “I have to go to work in the morning. Promise me I’ll wake up to your pretty face for motivation.”

You giggled, your laughter ringing through his mind beautifully. “I’ll be there. I promise, baby.”

Johnny was beaming from ear to ear. God, you loved seeing him like this. Happy. And he was happy because of you.

He couldn’t wait to wake up beside you in the morning.

Given their engagement, Yuta and Winwin were to have plenty of parties and the betrothal party was only one of many. Today marked the day of the housewarming party.

Their engagement meant that their relationship had developed into something serious. With marriage rapidly approaching, they were certain that they wanted to spend every moment of their lives together. And thus, they decided to move in with each other.

Which was how their new home came to be.

Guests spread out and filled the house to its brim, most of the ones you didn’t recognize being associates of Sicheng. After a couple of hours, you got off of your feet and went to rest in the living room.

And when you saw two very familiar men approaching you, you knew that you would be doing anything but resting.

“Oh no.”

Jaehyun and Ten sang in harmony, “Oh, yes.”

Watching the two of them take seats beside you, you could only wonder what in tarnation they were up to. Jaehyun and Ten were individual wildfires all by themselves, so you weren’t sure if you were ready to face the aftermath of combining the pair. Part of you was certain something would blow up in flames.

Narrowing your eyes, you asked cautiously, “What do you two bloodthirsty leeches want?”

“Chill, babe. We just wanted to hang with our favorite friend,” Jaehyun said. Given the untamed smile on his face, you highly doubted that. Jeong Jaehyun was nothing if not sheer trouble. And his partner in crime, too.

Ten nodded his head in confirmation. “Right,” he smirked, then pointed to the cup beside you. “What’s that - Bacardi?”

“Ha, ha,” you responded, deadpan. “No, bitch. It’s water. Contrary to an oddly popular belief, I’m not an alcoholic.”

Jaehyun interjected, “Babe, I can’t tell the difference between you and an alcoholic. That’s a problem.”

“What he said. I can hear your liver screaming ‘Ten, help me. Help me. Please…’”

You snapped, “Did you guys just come over here to terrorize me or is there something meaningful you have to say?”

Jaehyun leaned and asked quietly, like he was telling you a top-notch secret, “It’s because of Johnny, right?”

You spluttered, “What?”

He smiled, adding, “Don’t worry - you can tell me. Your secret is safe with me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, enough of the bullshit. Fess up,” Ten groaned in your other ear. Meanwhile you were thinking of ways to remove yourself from the Jaehyun-Ten you were between. “Something happened between you and Johnny. Something good.”

It wasn’t a question. He was saying that something happened and he knew it - he just didn’t know what. Yet.

You bit your lip. “Why do you say that?”

“Johnny’s been doing better lately, too. He’s been smiling more and in a better mood recently,” Ten replied, a spark of something raw and tender in his voice. “I like seeing him this way. It feels like I got the old Johnny back.”

Jaehyun nodded, all of the signs of jokes and games gone from his eyes. His expression was nothing short of soulful. “Me, too. There’s clearly been a shift. And whatever happened between you two, I hope it doesn’t shift back. He’s in a good place right now and so are you.”

Johnny had been happier lately. Everywhere he went he stood like a tall beam of light, radiating energy and warmth. And you two technically weren’t even together yet.

There was no way in hell that you would mess that up again. True to your promise to Yuta, you wouldn’t make the same mistake thrice. You had learned from your wrongdoings and decided that you were going to treat Johnny’s heart the same way you wanted others to treat yours. With caution and hypervigilance.

He deserved to be loved. Every bit of him. And you loved him to pieces.

“I won’t mess it up,” you assured them, confident. You knew what you wanted. And though you were still scared to go after it, you were willing to face your fears for Johnny. “I swear.”

Ten and Jaehyun smiled contentedly and replied in sync, “Good.”

Across the house, Johnny was having a similar conversation with your friends. And you were none the wiser.

“Hey, tough guy!” Yeri called out, grabbing Johnny’s attention. If it weren’t for the fact that she had bestowed the nickname upon him ages ago and was hellbent on sticking to her guns, he would have kept walking. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Let’s talk.”

Johnny flickered his eyes between Yeri and the woman beside her - Irene - and a terrible feeling settled in his chest. Reluctantly, he admitted lightheartedly, “I feel unsafe.”

Both women responded in unison, “Good.”

He brought his plastic cup from his lips, then asked, “What’s this about?”

“You and y/n,” Irene said, eyeing him suspiciously.

Yeri wasted no time. “Are you two dating?”

On cue, Johnny’s heart seemed to boom at the mere thought of being in a relationship with you. As much as he wanted to make you his that night and as terribly as he fought against his every irrational decision, it wasn’t convenient timing. He wanted you to heal before anything.

Johnny feigned indifference, replying honestly, “No, we’re not. Why?”

Irene sat on the couch nearby, glancing off pensively. “She’s been… better again. She told us that she wouldn’t be drinking again for a while and she’s been opening up to me more and I’m proud of her. I just thought that it might’ve had something to do with you. You’re one of the biggest influences in her life, you know?”

“Yeah.” Johnny nodded. “I know.”

“And considering you haven’t given me the side eye yet, I think you’ve been happier, too.”

Johnny chuckled.

Then, Yeri cut to the chase and warned aggressively, “Take care of her, Johnny. I trust you, but you know how she can get. And if you break her heart, so help me I will…”

Irene reached for her friend’s hand and quickly interjected, “Yeri, I think they’re gonna be okay.”

Gladly, Johnny thought so, too. Things were far from perfect, though they were still going well and he was simply content to see that you were giving the two of you a try. He was tired of giving more than he was receiving and he had faith that those days were coming to an end.

“We’re gonna be okay,” Johnny repeated, assuringly. He believed it. He believed in you and him together. “But I appreciate all of your concern.”

Arms still folded and eyes still narrowed, Yeri eased up and nodded. Content, she walked off.

Irene rose from the chair and gazed up at Johnny, whispering softly, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being patient with her,” she replied, full of gratitude. Then - in an even tinier voice - she added, “And for doing what I couldn’t have done.”

Johnny said with no hesitation, “I would do anything for her.”

“I know. You’re strong.”

“So are you.”

Irene smiled. With that, she went to go meet back up with the rest of the girls.

Over the course of the following couple of weeks, you had been putting your all into becoming a better person. You kept to your word, steering clear of alcoholic beverages - more especially in mentally trying times - and you vented to your friends whenever necessary. They didn’t mind one bit. Anything was better than your typical methods of extreme self-destruction.

The passionless hook-ups came to an end, too. Johnny and you had never been exclusive, and though you weren’t yet together, it was impossible to do as much as imagine yourself with another person. Johnny’s touch was the only one that you wanted to feel on your body. You wanted to feel the way he poured his heart out to you whenever you had sex.

You wanted love. You wanted passion and fondness and intimacy.

And Johnny delivered.

After a while, you came to a decision about your father. One day, you chose to answer. In those that followed, you stalled to the best of your ability, still indecisively wavering over the option to meet him in person.

But the conversations, both through text and over the phone, swayed you. It broke you to hear his voice and vice versa. Talking to him for the first time in decades was life-changing.

That was how you ended up outside of a restaurant, fast forward some weeks later.

Johnny helped you out of his car, walking you to the front of the building. Your fingers were interwoven, and he let you clutch his hand when you felt nervous. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

You nodded. Though you were sure, you were anxious. And you were grateful that he had so much power over you, to the point that his mere touch made you feel at ease again.

“I’m sure,” you said, clinging close to him.

“Breathe, baby,” Johnny whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to your neck. “I’ll be right outside waiting for you. Okay?”

Waiting for you. What would you do without him?

Instead of replying, you whirled around and stood on your tiptoes, kissing his lips. Johnny kissed you back with fervor, holding you like you would fall if he were to let you go.

Through your heavy breaths, both nerve-induced and from the breathlessness of making out with him, you confessed gently, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Johnny replied without hesitation. It was a no-brainer. He loved you. So goddamn much. And that was exactly what you needed to hear. “Now go meet your old man.”

That was the last push you needed. You were standing on the threshold of a self-healing journey and that was what made you swing the gates open.

You approached the table your dad reserved. It must have been miles away, because when you got there, you couldn’t breathe.

Your father looked at you, face full of sincere emotion. He stared at you with so much awe, incredulous through and through. Tears threatened to fall from both of your eyes.

You croaked thickly, “Dad.”

“Princess,” he heaved back.

His arms were wide open and you raced in, desperate. The tears began to rain. You couldn’t even remember the last time that your father had held you. This is what you had been missing. During all those heartbreaking times, this is what you needed most.

Soon, he began to apologize profusely, voice bursting with shame and regret. There was absolutely no satisfactory explanation that he could offer you - you just needed to know that although he couldn’t take it back, he would do whatever it took to earn your forgiveness.

And once you reached closure, you were talking as if the past had never happened and he had always been there.

Your father looked at you and sighed - contentedly. He shook his head, all sullen when he stated, “You’re a woman now.”

You quipped, “And you’re an old man.”

Your father chuckled. He was adapting to your humor very quickly. Perhaps there was a reason why.

After a moment, he asked curiously, “That boy outside your boyfriend?”

“His name’s Johnny,” you smiled, teary-eyed, then confessed, “You should meet him some day.”

“Do you love him?”

There was not a bout of reluctance. “So much.”

“Then, I will.”

You beamed.

There was no holding you back, no reason not to say it proudly anymore. Johnny was yours and you were his. His heart would always belong to you and yours to him. That was the way it was supposed to be. Meant to be.

And some day, your Dad would be walking you down the aisle to the man of your dreams.

[sugurizz]

(SMUT/NSFW +18 - Minors DNI)

ANNOYING HIM JUST FOR FUN ✧ Feat. Toji Fushiguro

Synopsis ── You got bored and felt like the best option would be to mess around and piss him off. Just for personal amusement.

Contents ── established relationship (Gf!reader x Bf! Toji), anger, reader badmouthing/ being a brat, degradation, insults (slut, bitch etc..), rough spanking, unprotected sex.

He was laying over your shared bed on a quaint night, scrolling through his phone waiting for you to join him in to sleep just as you were used to. But to his surprise you stepped into the room, got your pillow and exited the bedroom in the most casual manner you could display.

The annoyed groan he let out as soon as you turned your back caught your ears, and you couldn't deny how prideful you felt right at that moment, a glorious smirk threatning shape your lips upwards.

'Where tha hell ya think you're goin' ?

'Sleep'. You etched a dry reply. Not even looking him in the eyes.

'Don't know what yer on about but better come back here, missy'. He rasped with a hint of menace, his glance still locked on you.

'Oopsie. Sorry but not taking orders from you tonight, old man.'

You let out with the brattiest tone, chuckling provokingly on your way out of the bedroom. Hell the the brief moment of your inner brat celebrating its victory was cut short as you felt a calloused hand pull on your arm.

He turned you around to face him, darkened eyes stearing dead down into yours .

'Oh ya do know where this kinda attitude leads ya. Dont'cha?'

You coax your arm out of his grasp, eyes still glued to the ground. And he responds by pinning you whole against the wall, tho trying his best not to break one of your bones in the process.

'Guess I need to teach ya again. Tiny lil' brain of yours got a hard time learning the rules doesn't it, huh?'

'Fuck you.'

'Say again?'

You knew you just crossed the line. And you knew you were too deep into your silly little game now. Your heart skipped a beat seeing his face suddenly go empty, eyes stoic and expressionless. Not a sound skipped his lips later, but his hand brought your chin up, starring dead into his eyes.

Your chest swelled with all kinds of merged sensations. the fear overlapped with a witty arousal that powerfully grew down your abdomen. But screw it. You weren't backing off anyway, you chose to go toe to toe with your scary beast of a boyfriend and you were about to take the consequences like a champ.

And so you did... just in the most pathetic way possible. Each smack of his palm landing over your ass ripped into that little attitude of yours, leaving your heated face smeared with your own snot and salty tears.

You'd lie if you said you didn't like your face down against the mattress and your ass up facing his wrath. But soon enough he got you breaking down to tears, babbling all kinds of ridiculous nonsense and drooling over his lap like a braindead slut.

'Fuck! W-wait! T-Toji...s-too much, AH!' You let out the loudest moans your chocked cries could allow you to, tho your throat tensed so much from the stingy pain.

'Nah. Now arch dat back properly, fucking bitch.' His other arm slithered and wrapped around your neck in a headlock, keeping you still just so that every nerve under your skin could taste his sweet furious whacks.

'Toji! Fuck...p-please...it hurts!' Your mewly sobs filled the room, the choked hiccups and endless pleas only seemed to widen the wicked grimace on his face.

'heh. Go'head. mouth off again! Dying to hear ya.' He raised an eyebrow, challenging you to live up to the untamable brat you thought you were. Yet your drunk brain could barely discern his words at that moment.

Your eyes closed shut in defeat, almost passing out on the pain your poor asschecks endured. You could'nt quite formulate a response, but your tiny sobs had him lifting you off his lap with a false pity.

'Aww would ya look at dat. Figured out woudln't last long. Ya wanted me wrecking the shit outta yer ass from the start didn't ya?'

You gave him a dizzy glance and nodded, tongue lolling out of breath.

'Aw ya nasty thing. Could'a asked respectfully like the lil slut ya are ..but here we are again. Heh.'

He flipped you over and tossed you on the bed, pulling his sweatpants off his cock and pushing the damp fabric of your thong to the side. The sticky ropes coating your pussy lips riled him up further.

'Shit, Yer so fucking wet it's gross.' He shoved his thick middle and ring inside, giving you a few pumps before his length fully barged in, with no prior warning.

'Aghh... The fuck yer so tight for? Spanking yer ass got yer cunt this damn slimy, huh?..' he groans deep, thick fingers almost piercing into your buttcheeks as he throbbed inside.

'Toji...mhhh w-wait!' You squealed out, eyes going teary from the thick untrusion bullying through your guts.

'Oh shut it.' He spat and pressed a palm into the small of your back 'Ya knew you wanted cock, princess, nice and rough as you could have it.'

He pushed a low grunt and bottomed in. flashing you the nastiest grin before he started beating into your hole merciless...

[darlingsfandom]

Hello hope you are well!! I was wondering if you'd be comfortable writing something similar to the fic you wrote about Cillian being obsessed with readers boobs but this time with it more being about how they look? Like he's just so obsessed with how they sit so pretty no matter what reader wears. Only write if you want too ofc! And this could be with Cillian or Thomas Shelby whatever makes sense too you

hi! I’m doing alright, thank you✨ hope you’re doing well!

“Baby?” You waved your hand in front of Cillians face before he finally blinked. It has been three minutes and you swore his eyes were going to fall out.

“Did ya ask me sumthin?” Cillian cleared his throat laying back against the couch with his feet up on the coffee table, his program playing in the background.

“I asked what you wanted for dinner?” You put your hands on your hips while huffing silently.

“Oh … umm I wasn’t thinkin about dat.” He kept his eyes on you and in the one spot you always felt them… your boobs. He was obsessed with them. Cillian loved when you wore low cut tops or those white tank tops after a shower because they were tight and low cut! Your nipples always poked through the fabric when you wore those and he was like a teenage boy all over again every time.

“Of course you weren’t.” You rolled your eyes playfully before walking over and swatting his feet off the coffee table. He put down his feet, readjusted his body so he could look down your shirt. It was an old shirt that was big on you but you didn’t have on a bra so your nipples poked through nicely. “My boobs can’t be that nice!”

“Excuse ya! Yer boobs are perfect!” He stood up quickly , almost tripping before he leaned in and grabbed your boobs over your shirt before massaging them slowly. You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth as he worked them over. “Such nice boobs, they fit nicely in my hands baby! Fun to play with, nice to look at, so good to suck on.” Cillian let go of your boobs with a grin on his face before pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes widen in amazement at the sight of your bare boobs just hanging there! Little bit of space between them with your pinkish nipples excited. He always looked at your boobs like it was the first time all over again.

Cillian ran his finger between your boobs before tracing the purplish bite mark he left from last night. Your boobs were perfect to him! They were soft, warm, big enough to be seen and people could notice when you weren’t wearing a bra, but that hardly happened! Cillian didn’t want others to look at your boobs, those are his! He loved to help you lotion them after a warm shower, he helped you wash them in the shower, lay his head on them when he was tired or had a bad day, those are his support boobs! And the fact they were attached to you made it much better!

“So… dinner?” You arched your eyebrow as Cillian went back to looking at your boobs with some drool hanging from the corner of his mouth.

“Let me suck on your boobs please !” He gave you the pout.

“After dinner! My boobs are not a meal.”

“Says who?”

“Says me!” You stuck your tongue out at him before squeezing his face cheeks together to plant a kiss on his lips. Cillian kissed you back before standing back up to push you away and look down at your boobs. He was beyond obsessed. You didn’t mind though, he worshiped all of you to be fair, your boobs were just his favorite part. You had hated your boobs for so long always wanting them to be more even, less saggy, bigger cup size and more round! But when you met Cillian it all changed ! He adored them just the way they are and it didn’t take long before your own opinion changed about your body.

“Baby please just pick something for dinner and then you can have my boobs all you want! Okay?” You placed your hands over his.

“Just order out! Gives me more time to play wit yer boobs before dinner.” You shook your head before grabbing your phone and sitting on the couch to place an order. Cillian laid his head on chest and played with your nipple as you had dinner being order with the flick of your finger. It was never a dull moment with him and as much as it drove you crazy how much he loved your boobs, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 22

Too much booze or too much sugar

In Dethwedding, Skwisgaar mentioned that he had to take care of a wasted Toki before so I like to imagine it's not that much of an uncommon occurrence. Just the idea that Toki is still kind of seen by the others as Skwisgaar's problem appeals to me a lot, lol.

Additionally, I think alcohol awakes contradictory feelings inside Toki. Feelings that he doesn't want to acknowledge otherwise.

Toki felt the contents of his stomach force their way out of him, his body propelling itself forwards. He retched pathetically inside the toilet, expelling whatever else he had left inside him with labored breaths.

“Just lets it go.” Skwisgaar said, holding Toki’s hair to prevent it from getting stained with vomit. Almost as if obeying him, Toki’s abdominal muscles contracted, making him throw up again. “Theres, theres…”

Unable to trust his body, Toki remained there still, looking into the dirty toilet with wet eyes. As seconds went by, he grew assured he was safe from any more vomiting. His breathing was also returning to normalcy. Toki wiped his lips and nose and sighed in relief,  burying his face into his other arm.

“Yous done?”

“Ja.” Toki said, voice muffled.

“How ams you feelingks?”

“Likes shits.” Toki chuckled, throwing his head back to gaze at Skwisgaar.

Skwisgaar furrowed his brows. “When ams you gonna learns? Every goddamns times-”

“Oh, shush, shush…” Toki silenced him and decided to settle his head in Skwisgaar’s lap. The latter groaned but didn’t do much to stop him. Skwisgaar was less reluctant to physical closeness when it was just the two of them.

And that was certainly the case right now, huddled in the toilet stall of  a restroom of some bar whose name Toki couldn’t recall right now. No way in hell the other three would come checking in on them, they were too busy partying with a bunch of strangers.

“Why ams I de ones dats gotsa takes care of yous sloppies mess…” Skwisgaar grumbled, not even looking at Toki. 

If Toki was feeling any snappy, he would’ve replied that it was because everyone knew he was a doormat. That they took advantage of him because he was incapable of refusing a task if cornered to it. But honestly, he was glad it was Skwisgaar and not anybody else’s, so he simply smiled while watching him complain about his bandmates.

Most of the time, drinking made him more feisty towards everyone and especially Skwisgaar. Other times, drinking made him feel funny in his tummy when he gazed at Skwisgaar. As if he were only capable of doing extremes, either finding Skwisgaar the most unbearable human being alive or being utterly captivated by…everything about the guitarist. 

Skwisgaar seemed to notice his eyes and he glared at him. “Whats?”

Shame was not a concept familiar to Toki when he was inebriated. He just kept staring at Skwisgaar’s features, wondering how it was possible for someone to be as attractive as he was talented. Even under the flickering and broken lights, the damp and sweaty hair sticking to the back of his neck and the pronounced eyebags from severe lack of sleep, Skwisgaar was the most beautiful thing Toki had ever seen. 

And whereas he’d normally be jealous of that, tonight he was admiring. Tonight, his ego took a backseat in the neverending spectacle that was Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

“Yous just gonna stares like a dildos de whole times?” Skwisgaar asked, the irritation seeping in his voice. 

Toki grinned lazily, stretching his arms. “I ams drunks and you cants be mads at me.”

Skwisgaar snorted. “Says who?”

“Mes.”

“Pffts.” Skwisgaar rolled his eyes. However, he was wasted too, and it was no fun to be mad while drunk. “Yous a pains in de ass, you knows dat?” He said, trying to hold back a smirk.

Toki wanted to retort that so was Skwisgaar but he felt so stupidly euphoric all of sudden, so safe and protected. With his head between Skwisgaar’s thighs and Skwisgaar gazing at him, it really was like nothing else mattered. Nothing besides them right here and right now.

And that feeling stretched to the end of his fingertips, making him reach for Skwisgaar. His hand held Skwisgaar’s, fingers tangling together and palms pressing against each other. Skwisgaar raised his eyebrow, though he said nothing about it and that only made the fuzziness inside Toki increase, as stupid as it was.

Skwisgaar’s hand was so warm, unlike the cold concrete under them. He was always warm in the most unexpected of times, Toki thought. Always confusing Toki about who he really was, about what really laid under those seemingly distant blue eyes. 

However, when he dared to take another look, he saw himself reflected. A distorted and goofy version of himself, with a ridiculous silhouette and shape. Shaky and flimsy, the polar opposite of how Skwisgaar appeared to Toki right now. Sharp, handsome and so painfully real that it was clashing with the dream-like texture of Toki’s current state.

But that was exactly how they saw each other, wasn’t it? And it was exactly why Toki refused to call the tremor in his chest for what it was, and why he had avoided doing so all these years. Why he only allowed himself to feel it when he lacked self-control like right now. 

 “What do I have to do…” Toki whispered to himself in his native language.

Skwisgaar blinked. “Whats?”

Toki giggled, gesturing at Skwisgaar to come closer. And so he did, shortening the space between them with curiosity. And it would’ve been so easy for Toki to close it himself. To stop lying to himself and take a leap of faith…

The distance between them, however, was not just physical, Toki was reminded when he saw Skwisgaar’s confused stare. 

Something inside him swelled and he shoved Skwisgaar’s dumb face away from him, laughing. “Yous looks stupids.”

Annoyed, Skwisgaar pulled away. “Yous stupid.” He said with a frown.

Toki smiled, even more amused by the fact that Skwisgaar had no idea how right he was. “I ams.”

Music blaring in the distance, Skwisgaar offered Toki a judgemental look. As if he was trying to figure out what the hell was going on through Toki’s head. Eventually, he sighed and looked away. “Idiots.” He mumbled.

The next few seconds remained in relative silence. The ecstasy was slowly washing away, replaced by the permanent inadequacy Toki was more or less used to, exponentially increased because of the alcohol.

“Skwisgaar.”

“Euh?”

Toki hesitated a little. ““If ams always an idiots…” He trailed off, unsure. “Wills you alsways takes care of old Tokis?”

Skwisgaar’s eyes returned to him, though they almost seemed accusatory this time. “I guess.” He shrugged. “I don’ts really has a choice.”

Toki bit down his bottom lip, trying really hard not to feel so relieved over such a non committal response.

It occurred to him that maybe there was nothing he could do to seize the gap. That maybe these semi-private moments were as close as he’d ever get.

And maybe that should be good enough for him, he suggested to himself, lightly squeezing Skwisgaar’s hand to reassure himself.

There was a squeeze back, though Toki could’ve hallucinated it from his intoxication and relentless hope. Just like he could’ve sworn Skwisgaar was glancing at him, but when he looked at him again, the guy was focusing on an arbitrary spot on the floor.

Yeah, maybe that had to be enough for him. 

[loremaster]

i went crazy (as i am known to do) and drew BOTH of each daily prompt for @raincodeshipweek! nothing past PG-13 here. double check the tags for ships below - or if you want to be surprised, jump in and see them all here:

Hurt/Comfort - Clockmare - I remember a while ago @pixelatedraindrops did a poll over which of the two to draw sick in bed… Halara's cat allergies won out, but I thought the opposite scenario of Fubuki needing recovery from overusing her rewind powers was cute too! This is a very cute ship that needs more love!

Healing - Kokolight - This is *THE* ship that's all about healing. (Emotional healing at least.) Yuma learns a lot from Vivia about how to embrace the uncomfortable parts of life… and Vivia learns a lot from Yuma about how not to let that diminish your spark. Plus, by the end, they understand what each other’s been through more than any other characters... almost. Also, dat height difference. Good shit.

Dancing - Aetheria trio - Similar bonding over shared grief here! But this time there's three of them! Big 3 of Cups energy. It's a shame we never really got to see much genuine interaction between Yoshiko, Waruna, and Kurane during the game's story… but sometimes the most fun parts are what we get to imagine for ourselves, hmm? Anyway, yeah. These three are bonded for life. (Too bad it wasn't a very long one...)

Domesticity - Viviakou - There's nothing funnier than two guys with opposite behaviors. Vivia wedges himself into the crack between the bed and the wall as far as he can. Yakou spreads out and takes up more room than the bed even has. Plus, he snores. Disasters, both of them. …I was going to try and come up with another ship for this prompt, since - spoilers - there'll be more Viviakou later on... but I thought of this image and laughed hard enough I couldn't not draw it!

Sun/Rain - Yakou/Amaterasu Researcher. - One of the happiest moments of Yakou's life was when his wife got him a boat for his birthday. A whole boat!!! A portable office! Never had he felt so loved before. …Never has the sun shone that brightly again. He hates the rain.

Stars - Clockbolt - Fubuki is staring out wistfully at the rain clouds, lamenting that she cannot see her star - the one her parents bought for her. But luckily - “Don't worry, Princess, I'll be your star…!” says Desuhiko. Bolder, brighter, and much, much closer than her faraway prize…Yeah, I think Fubuki would eat that up. This is a fun ship. I like that Desuhiko - against all odds - treats Fubuki like a person. And ironically I think that would make her like him more!!

Flowers - Furroughs - What else could I have drawn for 'flowers,' honestly? It's a cheap bouquet of Black-Eyed Susans! I can't see this as a healthy relationship, honestly, but that's what makes it fun! Imagining them as childhood friends who used to be really close but grew apart in adulthood strikes just the right chord of melancholy with me. Even more heartbreaking if you see them both as trans - imagine Yakou's so excited to have a friend like him, and then as soon as Seth transitions he's like "you don't know me. never speak to me again." Mmm, I do so love to put Yakou through the wringer.

Memories - Yumagami - Sometimes you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I imagine Yuma goes through phantom pains after their pact gets broken, not knowing whose laughter keeps ringing through his ears, what's up with that tingly spot on his cheek, or why he can't look at a barrel without his face feeling hot. (Though, he's probably astute enough to put together the clues...)

First Times - Viviakou - The first time Yakou heard Vivia say that catchphrase, it didn't feel very good.

Final Moments - Viviakou - ...The last time didn't feel very good either.

Swap - Vivia/Amaterasu Researcher - Okay, hear me out. If Yakou had managed to run up that hill, make a deal with Kodaka, and get him to swap their places - that is, he dies while his wife survives and becomes Chief of the Nocturnal Detective Agency - I think Vivia would think the same of Mrs. Furio that he did of Mr. Furio (that is, helplessly smitten). EXTREMELY underrated. Please ship this with me.

Alternate Universe - Zilara - My personal pet rarepair!!! Alas, our two confident creature-lovers have been kept from each other by the cruel hands of fate. So, I cope by drawing them getting fancy little drinks together. This is an homage to Boba AU, of course, but honestly, while drawing this, I was picturing them as students at the local prestigious college campus. Maybe they're members of frat Alpha Beta Omega or something.

Past/Future - Makoyuma - This one's more of a concept/pitch than a fully explored scene, but hear me out: time travel AU. What if Yuma meets a mysterious masked stranger who turns out to be a tech-savvy time traveler from a destroyed future... but then also turns out to be himself, somehow? How is there someone who looks exactly like him, 5000 years from now? What's the connection between Yuma and Makoto? And why are they so drawn to each other?

...The last prompt for the official Ship Week is a free day - so I'm going to take the day off! Though, there are a lot of other ships I lament not shouting out here - Kokobolt, Kokomare, Twimare, Fubugami, just to name a few!!! But I'm gonna give myself a break for now. Don't worry, you'll see more art from me soon - maybe even print versions of this, and some of my other Rain Code fanart. And if there's a specific ship or scenario you really can't wait to see... my commissions are open! ;D

[whatavery]

Hot and Cold (Art Trade)

My part of an art trade I did with Tucsi featuring Nicocai. Funnily enough, my first time writing that pairing, but it was fun! I tried to get Nico's dialogue down, so please do let me know how I did!

Oh and of course, this story is illustrated by Tucsi as well! Look at it, isn't it adorable?

Part II

---

---

As his grip on his own hand tightened, Mordecai's ear gave an irritable flicker from the small the unflattering sound of leather squeezing against leather. He let out a short, shuddering sigh. Even in the darkened interior of the car, he could see his breath in front of his face, a small fog that dissipated in seconds. Even clad in his thick, dark coat, the late winter cold still cut through it, chilling him to the bone.

“Aw you feelin’ cold, cher? Need me t’ warm dem hands of yours?” Mordecai didn’t even turn to face his companion in the dark, the larger, light gray cat’s silhouette clear as day despite how dark it was. The unmistakable silhouette of Nicodeme Savoy leaned in towards Mordecai as he side-eyed the Cajun cat. “My Cajun blood keeps me warm – it can warm you too…”

“Are you suggesting I use your blood for warmth?” Mordecai scoffed derisively, still side-eyeing the bigger cat. He turned his green-eyed gaze forward instead, focused on the seemingly vacant area outside. The cold night had a clear sky, the full-moon’s light beaming down, bathing everything in its pale, silvery blue light. Mordecai could see frost glistening off what little plant-life was present outside. “That’s morbid even by your standards, Mr. Savoy…”

“Lagniappe, lagniappe! Never knew you was in’trested in dat sort’a stuff, cher!” Nicodeme laughed in the dark in that deep baritone of his. Mordecai’s left ear gave an irate flicker, before it laid back against his head. He wasn't sure what was worse; being stuck in a dark, cold car at midnight, waiting for a pickup, or the fact that he had to endure Nicodeme's constant comments, his endless onslaught of jabs at him.

“Never mind,” Mordecai sighed, adjusting his glasses for a moment, carefully repositioning his them ever so slightly upon the bridge of his nose. The conversation wasn't one he thought they ought to continue. Who knew where it might take them. Given that this man’s sister had already carved one sigil into Mordecai's chest, he didn’t need to give Nicodeme a reason to think this was an experience he wished to relive.

“Always so serious,” Nicodeme grunted. When Mordecai turned his head to look towards him, he saw Nicodeme in the dark, looking at him with an exaggerated pout on his face, clearly doing his best to come across as what he either thought a serious person looked like… or he was mocking Mordecai, which he knew to be the more likely option. “Just make a bahbin, no jokes. Serious business.”

Mordecai turned the other way, ignoring his companion as he glanced out the window by the passenger seat. He squeezed his hands together tighter, trying to keep warm the best that he could, though the mercilessly cold winter night didn’t leave him with much of a chance.

Finally, Mordecai relented his fidgeting, reluctantly unbuttoning his coat, which immediately caused all the warmth the fabric had trapped between him and it to rush out. As the cold air within the car rushed in to fill the available space, Mordecai shuddered again and pulled out his pocket watch. The conductive nature of the golden metal alloy meant that even through his leather gloves, it felt as though Mordecai held a chunk of ice that somehow got colder and colder. The warmth coming from his own body could only affect the metal for so long, now that it was out in the open.

“They’re late…” Mordecai noted in the most monotonous, most irate tone he could muster. The nerve of these people… Although he knew it wouldn't do him or Marigold any good, the temptation to shoot them on sight when they eventually turned up was quite strong. But Mordecai just put the pocket watch back into his inner pocket. He shuddered again as he hurriedly closed his coat.

“C’mere.” Before Mordecai could even think to tell Nicodeme to leave him alone, he felt two, massive mittens around his own. Although Nicodeme's were barren, not covered by gloves, Mordecai was surprised to find that they were incredibly warm. Perhaps there was some level of truth to the bigger cat’s boastful claims about his Cajun blood. “Dere, ain’t dat better, cher?”

Mordecai said nothing. Although he detested sudden physical contact like this, he had to admit the bigger cat’s warmth was rather pleasant. His hands had previously felt as though they’d been dunked into a bank of snow. Despite there being no snow outside, the air was sharp and cold, and Mordecai knew the only thing worse than sitting in this dark, still vehicle was actually venturing out into he cold, dark night.

When Nicodeme let go again, Mordecai shot him a look, a look which was returned by a grin, a smirk. Mordecai let out an exasperated sigh. “What?”

“If ya’ want me to keep warmin’ you, all you gotta do is ask,” Nicodeme said with a wink of those yellow eyes. Even in the dark, the Cajun cat’s eyes practically glowed like the fireflies that would take to floating around these parts on warm summer nights.

Mordecai didn’t say a word as he squeezed his hands together again. Any minute now… They had to show up, didn’t they? How much longer could they possibly leave them waiting? When the bigger cat chuckled again, Mordecai sighed once more. “Yes? What did I do now that’s so funny?”

“Yer just so stubborn, cher – commes les vieux. It’s funny. Yer freezin’ cold and don’t want no help stayin’ warm?” Mordecai hadn't much of a clue what Nicodeme was saying when he slipped into French – he already had trouble understanding the Cajun cat when he spoke English, his thick, pronounced accent often making his words difficult to decipher. It didn’t help when he spoke fast, though mercifully he currently spoke rather slowly. “Gar ici, I’ll keep you warm.”

“What are-?” But Mordecai didn’t finish his sentence before a thick log of an arm was slipped around him. Pulled sideways, Mordecai found himself pressed up against the massive, warm body of the Cajun cat. He was surprised by just how warm he was; his body was like a furnace. It was no wonder he rarely took to wearing warm clothes, even in winter. It was strangely impressive in a way…

“Dere, isn’t dat better? Yer shiverin’, boo,” Nicodeme whispered in the dark. Mordecai gave the most feeble of squirms, a halfhearted attempt at breaking free from the already loose grip the bigger cat had on him. Nicodeme's built form was a formidable one; Mordecai knew he put great effort into staying in shape and that he was very strong; he’d witnessed Nicodeme wrestling men bigger than himself, using his brute strength to throw people around with little effort. If he truly wanted to, he could have put Mordecai in an iron grip to keep him from slipping away… but he didn’t.

Despite this, Mordecai remained in place. “You’re suffocating me…”

“I’m barely holdin’ on. I think yer startin’ t’ like me, mon cher,” Nicodeme insisted, giving yet another chuckle. Mordecai didn’t respond as he stayed put, deciding that keeping quiet was his best option; the more he spoke, the more ammo this bigger man had for teasing him, no matter what he did say. “Are ya’ feelin’ warmer?”

“… yes.” Mordecai didn’t want to admit it, but being pressed up against the bigger cat was indeed helping him stay warm, much like sitting by a fireplace. It likely came down to the bigger cat’s metabolism, Mordecai thought to himself. Or maybe he was just so cold that even the weakest source of heat would warm his bones right up.

“An’ what do dey say when a friend helps ‘em out?” Nicodeme asked in an almost sing-song kind of voice. He may as well have been waggling his finger at Mordecai, who shot him an irritated look.

“… Thank you, Mr. Savoy,” he grunted reluctantly.

“Pleasure’s all mine, cher,” Nicodeme said before Mordecai felt the bigger cat lean towards him. Having turned his head slightly to look, Mordecai's entire being tensed up the moment Nicodeme's lips made contact. He didn’t hit Mordecai's cheek, nor did he hit his lips. It was right in between, the side of Mordecai's black and white muzzle, right by the edge of where his white-fur blended into the blackness.

As if he’d been poked with a red hot iron, Mordecai felt his entire face warming up in an instant as he stared at Nicodeme in disbelief. The bigger cat looked back at him, before he roared with laughter, to which Mordecai immediately shushed him. “Not so loud…! What was that for?”

“Well, I thought it could warm ya’ up – an’ I was right, cher, yer almost glowin’,” the gray cat said, smirking at him. Nicodeme's left arm had been resting against the window on the driver’s side of the car, but now the bigger cat moved his left hand towards Mordecai. He felt that big, strong mitt of his brushing his cheek. “Don’t be shy now… I know ya’ like me, mon cher.”

Mordecai gritted his teeth, grumbling something under his breath to which Nicodeme raised both eyebrows inquisitively. Mordecai spoke up, though his voice was strangely shaky. “Highly unprofessional… You shouldn’t go giving people kisses like that – and certainly not me…”

“Not like dat? Den how? On de lips instead?” Nicodeme asked, his tone clearly feigning ignorance, as if he truly hadn't a clue what Mordecai meant. The tuxedo cat glared at him in the dark. He felt those thick, rough fingers brushing his cheek once more with a surprising level of gentleness that Mordecai wouldn't have thought this big man capable of.

“No. Please, don’t you even think about-” Mordecai was cut off almost immediately when Nicodeme put a small amount of force in to turn his head till they faced each other.

“Think about what, cher?” he asked, his gaze locked onto Mordecai's green eyes.

“Stop it…”

“Stop what?”

“Stop looking at me like that,” Mordecai almost gasped. Why did he sound so breathless all of sudden? Why did he feel breathless? His eyes widened when Nicodeme leaned closer still. “Wait…”

“Hmmm? For what, boo?” Nicodeme asked in a low, raspy whisper in the dark. His voice was so low, but it was as though he may as well be shouting at Mordecai. He heard and locked onto each and every word. “Nervous?”

“I think I hear them… They’re here,” Mordecai lied. The bigger cat’s ears perked up as he listened for a moment, his gaze turning from Mordecai to quickly scan their surroundings outside the car. Of course, there wasn't a soul to be seen in any direction.

Grinning, Nicodeme leaned closer still. “Just tell me to stop – anytime you want, cher…”

Mordecai opened his mouth, but not as much as a squeak left his lips. Nicodeme tilted his head to the side. Mordecai could feel his heart racing, as if threatening to burst right through his rib-cage. He let out one last shuddering breath before it happened.

The second Nicodeme's lips made contact with his, Mordecai felt as though he had been lit on fire, warmth coursing throughout every fiber of his being. He felt a tingling sensation down his spine all the way to the white tip of his tail.

It was a brief experience, Nicodeme mercifully deciding not to prolong it. When he pulled back, Mordecai saw that smirk he'd gotten so used to over the past few months. “Yer shakin’, boo. Do ya’ need more warmth?”

“No…” Mordecai had thought that it was Nicodeme who was shaking, but he realized that it was indeed himself. But at least he was no longer cold. “Please… Let go of me, Mr. Savoy…”

Nicodeme seemed surprised, but he gave a light chuckle, releasing Mordecai immediately, much to his relief. “I think you can start callin’ me Nico now…”

“And why is that?” Mordecai snapped once he’d sufficiently calmed down. His heart wasn't racing anymore and he wasn't feeling tingly… but the warmth had also left his body the moment he scooted back to where he’d been sitting previously.

“I s’pose I just think it’s strange t’ be formal with someone you kissed,” Nico said, warmth immediately rushing back into Mordecai’s cheeks. The bigger cat gave a soft laugh at this, Mordecai not meeting his eyes.

Without a word, Mordecai slid sideways towards the bigger cat, pushed himself up against him and kissed him on the lips. He gripped Nico’s vest as if to hold on for dear life, like the last piece of floating debris in a shipwreck that would keep his head above water. Mordecai didn’t make the kiss last for too long either, it was just a firm, but brief kiss.

Mordecai was left breathless again and Nico seemed taken by surprise, though he did smile. “Ah, what a lovely surprise…”

“Don’t you mention it to anyone… Ever… What now?” Mordecai asked, feeling annoyance boiling up inside him again when Nico started to chuckle. What had he done now that was so amusing to him? Would he ever stop-

Mordecai gave a start when he heard loud tapping upon the window behind him. Whirling around so fast his glasses nearly flew off, he looked through the passenger seat window, horrified to see that they were no longer alone. It was time to do business… But how much had they seen?

Based on the way Nico kept snickering as he exited the car, Mordecai felt his heart sinking… He was never going to hear the end of this...