#darkest hour is just before dawn etc etc

[girlypsyop]

AHHHHH!!!!!

[tsukimefuku]

the letter ꕥ higuruma hiromi

summary: reader writes a letter for an absentee. one that she will never send.

tags: f!reader, implied past relationship, higuruma x reader, angst, break up, longing and general heartbreak.

wc: 1k

notes etc.: this is actually my original style of writing in my native language before i began writing in 2nd(?) + 3rd person pov on ao3 and tumblr this year. it’s different from what I’ve written so far, but I hope you guys enjoy it. the style translation was hard, holy shirt. song → shake it out (florence + the machine).

ꕥ collection of stories: "jujutsu partners au" → masterlist

i like to keep my issues drawn ꕥ it’s always darkest before the dawn

I was debating if I should start this with “hey, Hiromi”, “hi, Higuruma”, “dear” something, and I still haven’t arrived at an answer. The first sounds too casual for what we have become — and what are we now if not strangers? The second, however, is just too impersonal, and I don’t need such a stinging reminder of how much I’m not entitled to your first name anymore. At last, “dear” to start a letter is just tacky.

Alas, I digress.

I don’t quite know what possessed me to pick up a pen and a piece of paper (analogical, just like you’ve noted me to be) to blurt out the swirling hurts in my mind, but I guess I still had a lot to say, even if you weren’t here long enough to hear it.

Here goes nothing.

You might be wondering how I’m doing (at least I hope so), so I thought I’d let you know.

Tonight, more specifically, I’ve been for an insurmountable stretch of time — were it hours? Minutes? Days? Out of my priorities, tracking time has not been one of them — staring at the empty vacuum making its presence known by my side. It seems to mock my stare, that longs, against all odds, for a miracle — for you to simply materialize right there, out of thin air.

Seriously, you should see the mess you’ve made when you left.

You left an emptiness of shoes, black suits, wet towels on the bed, cup marks on the furniture, scratches of morning beard, warm legs under the covers — an emptiness of body that has been giving me nightmares. You came in, flipped everything upside down, blew up my walls and made so that every edge, vertex, color and smell of this heart and bones surrounding our leftover life would incessantly scream for you.

It’s like my misery extended beyond myself and resoundingly expanded against the walls of this house.

But… even though I wish you were here with every tiny part of myself, I couldn’t ask for you to stay. I know it wouldn’t be fair. You’d never ask me to betray myself, and the least I could do was to love you in the same earnest way. 

You wouldn’t be the man I loved if you didn’t go. I wouldn’t be the person you loved if I asked you not to (I apologize for the past tense, it’s one of those truthless comforts I’ve decided to give myself for the time being).

You still linger here, though. I still keep your gaze close to my chest, your face pressed against my skin, your warm voice caressing the edge of my ear and your hair stroking through my fingers, even if it’s just my soul pretending for a minute.

A long minute.

You know, it has been hell without you here. The couch cushions wrap around me like your arms, the bed always bounces by the time you used to get up, and the kitchen smells like your favorite take-out meals (because God knows we’d set fire to this building if we so much as dared turning that stove top on). The window reflects two back at me when only one is looking at it, and my hiking boots are dearly missing those black oxford shoes. My coat hanging on the edge of the closet is also dearly missing your crumpled black ties sprinkled around the room (of course you took weeks to properly wash and organize them — when you ever did).

Oh, and the bed.

The bed is just not the same without that stupid, ridiculous blotch of water your towel would always leave on it.

A huge chunk of our house is missing.

I know I can’t let my selfishness kidnap you from what you need to do — and I do know you need it. But damn, sometimes it’s hard to fight the urge of hopping on the first train your way, grabbing you by your wrist and asking you to become once again part of my wallpaper, my duvet, my pillows. Just promise me you’ll make all of this pain worthwhile, even if you ran away with ten thirds of me.

Ever since you left, though, I learned a few tricks to mask your ever so present absence. I can pull the pillows towards the middle of the bed, eat in the living room and read in the kitchen, being sure to slowly put all my pieces back in place. 

It’s harder to notice an empty chair across the table when you willingly choose to sit on the ground.

However, I didn’t want to do that. Not today. Call it insanity, clarity, or just meet me in my madness like you always so kindly did.

Today, I wanted to let you invade me, come into my house with my full permission and go on turning everything upside down once more. That way, I can almost feel you there. To me, at least for now, that’s good enough (or as good as I know it’s gonna get).

Your muted way of sharing our space could be so, so silent. That quietude brought me the deepest of peaces.

Unfortunately, I never anticipated the silence from your absence would be so loud, and not peaceful at all. It has been hammering at my breathless heart for days. 

I miss you.

I love you, too.

***

With a sigh, you put the pen down and stared at the paper sheet for a minute, your own calligraphy so foreign with a pain you hadn’t let out properly ever since Hiromi… actually, Higuruma stepped out that morning.

Considering your options, you resigned, and pulled the letter in a crinkled messy ball, tossing it in the garbage can.

No need to talk to a voluntary absentee. No need to bother him, either.

You got yourself back up and picked up two pairs of keys, the blue buttoned shirt and made your way out of the apartment, not failing to hear the rumbling echo the door made when it slammed closed.

An echo that only happens in truly empty places.

[heich0e]

i started taking a yoga class a lil while ago, which means i think about your tomura yoga au at least twice a week.

i wonder if he (like me) underestimated how fuckin hot they keep the studio — not even for hot yoga! — and when he went to his first class, ignored toshinori’s suggestion not to wear that oversized hoodie bc he’s shy and self-conscious. only to have to take it off twenty minutes in bc he’s so sweaty and miserable and maybe seeing double

fr if i hadn’t committed to 2 months of classes, i might’ve just spun on my heel the second i walked through the door bc holy fuck

HE IS SO NOT PREPARED FOR HOW HOT THE STUDIO IS.

next time he goes he tries something different. long-sleeved shirt and joggers. still too hot. toshinori is (of course) wearing luxury athletic wear head to toe, and offers to take tomura shopping to pick some up for himself by touting the various benefits the labels claim (sweat wicking, circulation boosting, aura purifying, etc., etc.) and tomura is having NONE of that. he tries his old high school gym shorts. those are a bit better, but the elastic in the waistband has sort of started to give-way and he's terrified of accidentally flashing another student. he starts wearing t-shirts, but hates how they tend to slip up his torso when he does any sort of inverted poses—it always makes him panic and throws him off his rhythm when he hastens to tug it back down.

finally he lets toshinori take him to get some (SIMPLE. NORMAL.) workout clothes. nothing elaborate, though the price at the end is enough to make him want to walk out of the store and give up materialism altogether—but thankfully toshinori swoops in to (happily) pay before his darling son has the chance to turn to buddhism.

the one issue is that tomura is so paranoid about one of his nosy roommates finding any of his yoga clothes (and thereby unearthing his deepest, darkest secret) that he starts doing his laundry in the early hours of the morning—which may as well be the middle of the night to his dirtbag roommates. spinner's none the wiser, and everything is going well, until touya comes home from a night out one day at dawn and discovers tomura putting detergent in the washing machine like a deer in the headlights... and then proceeds to tell everyone they know that tomura has chronic wet dreams.

[darkmaga-returns]

By Rajan Laad

Kamala Harris’s catastrophic billion-dollar campaign for president came to a crashing end on November 8th, 2024.

Most humans are likely to have heaved a sigh of relief that it was an end, or at least a pause, to cringe-inducing utterances of the nation’s foremost word salad chef.

Alas, those hopes were blown to smithereens yesterday when a new video with Kamala Harris was released that contained a message for her supporters following her emphatic defeat.

Usually, such messages are loaded with “inspiring” cliches.

You would think it would be ‘never stop believing in yourself’, ‘united we stand’, ‘never give up’, etc. or the favorite following a routing — ‘it's always darkest before the dawn’.

But that wasn’t the case.

The only virtue that can be conferred upon the following video is its duration: it ran for just 28 seconds.

But the good news ends there: the content of Kamala’s utterances makes these 28 seconds seem like 28 hours.

[russellius]

good morning, the darkest hour is just before the dawn, japan is the land of the rising sun, i'm on the strongest dose of copium and hopium etc etc.

[only-by-the-stars]

Fo the fanfic asks: 11, 13, 21! :3

11) What perspective do you write from most and/or least and why? (1st, 3rd limited, 3rd omniscient, deep pov, etc)

Most: 3rd limited, it's just what I feel most comfortable with and feels most natural for the way I write my stories.

Least: I haven't written in first or second person in yeaaaaaaars... I ought to give it another shot sometime now that I'm more experienced.

13) Are you a fast or slow writer?

if I'm not feeling inspired, then it goes sloooooooow. ;~; but when I'm on, I am ON, and can be disturbingly prolific. like, remember Darkest Before Dawn, the MW fic I wrote for @snail-studios 's ghost AU? that's 3,644 words, and I wrote that in something like. two and a half hours. and that's just one example. @_@

21) Writers choice - pick any of these questions that you want to answer.

OOH OKAY LET'S SEE HERE

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics?

yes!!! I use it wherever it'll fit in most naturally, like the bit from the first chapter of Winter's Moon where Mipha is thinking about her family's moves. I also use more abstract stuff, like thinking back to my own physical reactions to things and working that into how the character I'm currently writing would react to whatever is happening to them, as well as feelings I've had about certain things. as well as taking things said by a certain jerk and turning them into Gildan dialogue...

[saiilorstars]

Love, Ours | Ch.11

Gone Girl.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC

Story Summary: One-Shots/AU collection of Seren and Steve outside of their fics (Darkest Before Dawn, Alignment, etc.).

Story Masterlist ○ Seren’s Masterlist ○

Also available on Fanfic ○ Ao3 ○ Wattpad

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​ @arrthurpendragon​ @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet​ @averyhotchner@foxesandmagic @kmc1989 @caplanbuckybarnes​

[If you’d like to be a part of any OC’s works/edits, let me know!]

Steve couldn't believe his life was going to pull this on him — them. It was supposed to be an easy mission and yet somehow it all went very, very bad for all of them. He himself came back with some heavy injuries but thankfully nothing life threatening. He would just be sporting a lot of bruises for a few days. He would do it all over again to keep us teammates safe and most importantly his wife safe. But life always pulled things on him and this time it went for something big.

He was there when Seren woke up. She, along with a few other of their teammates, were rushed back to the compound straight to the medbed. She was one of the last ones to wake up but Steve was still relieved because she truly seemed okay. Yes, she did have a few cuts on her face here and there, but she was okay. Until she asked him one painful little question. Steve didn't know that a three word question could actually stop his heart.

“Who are you?”

Steve thought it was a joke at first. Seren was a funny gal, she loved to tease him. But his warm chuckle only confused her more. When he took her hand, she yanked it out. She was afraid and what's more is that she was afraid of him.

Dr. Helen Cho pulled Steve to the side after a few hours — hours in which he was not allowed to be near Seren — and explained the situation to him. “It seems like Seren is exhibiting a form of retrograde amnesia. It’s no doubt a consequence from the hit to the head she suffered on your mission.”

Steve wouldn’t pretend like the hit that Seren had taken wasn’t huge, but to get amnesia because of it? He glanced through the window of Seren’s room and saw her staring at Chloe (confused) while the latter animatedly spoke.

“Seren will be fine, eventually,” Helen said, her voice drawing Steve’s eyes back to her. “Most cases, the amnesia is temporary. Her healing is still working which means that she’ll end up remembering soon enough.”

“But when?” the words tumbled out of Steve’s mouth before he knew it. “She’s my wife and she was terrified of me.”

“I think she was scared of everything in general,” Helen said gently, wanting to ease his nerves. “Seren can’t remember things from the past which, unfortunately, include you, her friends, even her own parents…”

“So dare I even ask about Noel?”

Helen pursed her lips. “I wouldn’t…”

Steve let out a quiet sigh. “This is my fault.”

“No—”

“It’s my fault,” Steve insisted, shaking his head. “I was the one next to Seren. I was the one who couldn’t hold on and it—it hurt her. Now because of me, she can’t remember anything or anyone in her life. I’m her husband, I was supposed to protect her.”

“And you did,” Helen assured him then proceeded to point out one very important fact. “It’s better to plan how to get her memories back than to plan a funeral. It’ll be some time but she’ll remember, we’ll help her.”

Steve had no choice but to believe her.

~ 0 ~

Seren had been steadily progressing with her health while she was in the medbay. With no memories, she was no longer afraid of the medics and thus unknowingly made everyone’s lives easier trying to help her out. Nurses had drawn blood from her, Helen had come in a few times to ask her several questions about her health and what she remembered, and then came Chloe Winters.

Seren was like a true deer caught in headlights with the way her eyes seemed permanently wide. Chloe made fun of the fact just two minutes after coming into the room.

“I’m your best friend,” she reiterated when Seren still wouldn’t let her come any closer. “And to prove it, I brought the albums.” Because behind her came Bucky Barnes with a stack of photo albums.

Seren’s eyes once again grew wide at the new man. She straightened in her bed and watched him place the stack of albums on a table.

“She means I brought them,” Bucky said bitterly and sent Chloe a dirty look. “Wouldn’t kill you to do some of the heavy lifting, you know.”

“You’re the strong one here, quit complaining,” Chloe said dismissively. “We’ve got a lot of things to do.”

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes. “Whatever.” He gave a small wave at Seren who was watching him attentively and blaringly fearful. “Bucky Barnes,” he introduced himself, “I’m one of your friends here. We’re all hoping you get better soon. Some more than others…”

Seren became confused with the choice of words but Bucky chose to leave then, leaving her alone with her alleged best friend. Chloe had no problem making herself comfortable as she grabbed an album and sat with Seren on the bed. She was quick to introduce herself again and give Seren the basics of their relationship. The album definitely helped Seren believe more of what she was hearing, no matter how crazy it all was.

“I’m an alien…” she stared at her hands, “With powers…”

“Pretty much, yeah,” nodded Chloe. “But you’re technically only half. Your dad’s human.”

“And my mom’s an alien…?”

Chloe snorted. “You’ve got to stop saying it like that.”

“We’re aliens, it’s not something common!”

“Around these parts, it’s actually very common,” Chloe said and turned the page of the album. They came across pictures with Thor which Chloe used to further prove her point about aliens being more common than previously thought. “You and him get along very great. Then there’s Natasha and Clint — we’ve all known each other before the alien thing started becoming a thing. We worked for SHIELD.”

“But we don’t anymore…” Seren presumed.

“No, not anymore, not since we took it down.”

“Why?”

Chloe promised she would tell the story later on. She wanted to keep introducing the important people in Seren’s life. She beamed when a certain picture came up in the album.

“I know them,” Seren pointed at the picture, “I’ve seen them already. He said he was Sam. And he” — she pointed at the picture of Tony — “came in this morning and introduced himself. One thing, does he always call me ‘twinkle star’?”

Chloe snorted again. “Yes and you hate it, by the way. Don’t let him get away with it.”

Seren nodded firmly, making a mental note for the next time. She didn’t want anyone getting away with things just because she couldn't remember.

“Do you know him?” Chloe pointed to Steve on the right side of the same picture.

Seren took a moment to gaze at the picture. “I…I think so. He was the first person I saw…when I woke up…”

“That’s Steve and he is your husband.”

“He’s my what?” Seren practically snatched the album from Chloe’s hands, ignoring the blonde’s laugh. She looked hard at the picture, trying to make out any memory of the man but her mind kept coming up blank. “I’m seriously married?”

“Yes,” Chloe replied. “Happily so, I’ll add.”

“We’re married…?” Seren still couldn’t believe it. The man was glaringly obviously handsome but she couldn’t remember him at all. Why was he married to her? “Is he…is he human?”

“Yes,” Chloe answered.

“And he still married me?”

“Yes!”

Seren side-glanced Chloe, appearing shocked by the answer. “But I’m an alien…”

Chloe scoffed. “So? I just told you it’s not a big deal and you know what? Steve still knew about this way before it became common. Look, I know you were afraid when you first woke up and didn’t remember Steve but if there’s one thing you have to be sure about is that he loves you. Completely adores you, Seren. He basically worships the ground you walk on.”

“Me?” Seren said incredulously, sounding even less convinced with the story. Chloe was happy to confirm it all for her. Seren looked down at the picture pensively. “Could you tell me more about him?”

Chloe grinned. “With pleasure.”

~ 0 ~

Wanting to let Seren take in all her new memories, Steve did not show up to her room for several days. He was very much attentive to her progress outside the room, but he just couldn’t bear to go in and scare her again. He didn’t know that just one lost look from her was a thousand times more hurtful than getting shot at.

Finally, Helen gave the okay to let Seren leave the medbay and try to resume her life. She was going to do it without most of her memories but they were confident that it wouldn’t last forever. She had already begun to remember some of her childhood which was something that Steve was clinging to for faith that it would all work out in the end.

Though Steve suggested — behind closed doors — that Seren not know about their relationship and thus have separate rooms, Chloe informed him that it was too late.

“What do you mean you told her already!?” Steve was flabbergasted with the news. Beside him, Bucky told him he shouldn’t be that surprised.

“Shut it!” Chloe pointed at Bucky before addressing Steve again. “Knowing you, it would've been months before you told Seren and lots of things could happen so you're welcome! I locked it down for you!”

Steve shook his head at her. “You had to be more careful, Chloe. I don't want Seren to feel any kind of pressure.”

“And she won't,” Chloe assured him. “It's not like you're going to pressure her into being your wife so I really don't see the harm here. Now please go get your wife before she gets lost in the compound.”

Steve stared at her for about two minutes before deciding that he would much rather see Seren than continue with the pointless argument. Chloe gestured the way out of the room and was grinning when Steve left.

Bucky shook her head at her. “You really do have a mouth the size of a black hole.”

“Oh, quiet you. You know I'm right.”

“I didn't say you weren't but Steve's right. We shouldn't pressure Seren. It's not the best feeling knowing you're missing a lot of your memories,” Bucky said, and of course Chloe simmered down knowing he was talking about himself.

~0~

Seren was just sitting on the side of her bed, her feet dangling just a few inches from the floor when Steve walked in. The moment he did, her eyes went wide and her feet stopped swinging. A flush warmed her face the more she stared at him.

“I…I'm going to be honest, the doctor said I could go but…I don't really remember where I’m supposed to go,” she said, swallowing thickly. “My-my room, I guess…”

Steve gave her a little smile. She looked adorable, but sadly he could not say that out loud today. “Sorry. I meant to come in earlier but things got away from me. Still, anytime you're lost, always feel free to call F.R.I.D.A.Y.”

Seren's brows furrowed together. “Friday?”

Steve called the A.I. who then responded immediately, startling Seren. He chuckled. “Don't worry. FRIDAY is in charge of all our technical stuff. Anytime you need anything, you can call FRIDAY and she'll give you her best assistance.”

“Okay…” Seren nodded, though still visibly concerned with the computer for some reason. She watched Steve come up to her and felt that flush creep up her neck. He was very close to her and he was a lot more handsome in person. She really liked his eyes.

“You look like you could use some rest. Can I walk you to your room?” Steve held his hand out to her.

Seren's eyes flickered between him and his hand.

“…but if there’s one thing you have to be sure about is that he loves you. Completely adores you, Seren. He basically worships the ground you walk on.”

It had to be unhealthy to blush that much. Seren felt the accompanying heat on her skin.

“You don't have to if you don't want to,” Steve said suddenly, figuring that her silence had stemmed from hesitance.

“N-no, it's not that!” Seren exclaimed and took his hand as if to make her point. She immediately felt a new kind of heat but a way better kind. Their hands were warm together, comforting, and for the first time since Seren had awakened without her memories, she felt certain. Certain that wherever Steve was leading her to, she would be okay.

~0~

From the start, Steve made it very clear that they didn't have to share the bed. He also apologized repeatedly about Chloe's imprudence.

“I mean at one point you probably would have had to tell me the truth,” Seren said with a little smile tugging at her lips. She sat on the foot of the bed, watching Steve move things around in the room. He was making a makeshift bed for himself. “Don't want me randomly dating people, right?”

Steve unintentionally hit his head on the furniture with those words. It had been a joke, of course, but the mere thought of her even flirting with someone put him on edge.

“Are you okay?” Seren raised an eyebrow at him, gaze filled with concern.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve played dumb and rubbed his new bump. “I just meant — Chloe shouldn't have told you the way she did. You deserve to be told calmly and, most importantly, with time and space.” Although he couldn't see it, Seren was smiling softly at him, grateful and touched by his words.

She found herself staring just a bit too long at him watching him push furniture around — very easily with his strong arms — and opted for that nap.

~0~

Seren put all of her focus on remembering things. She had the hardest time accepting that she had super powers and actually trying to use them. Already she had accidentally burned her friend Clint's arrows, Natasha's staffs, and a few practice targets. Her friend Tony Stark said he would have to ‘twinkle-star-proof’ everything now, a joke that she felt was a little too close to home. She was a walking disaster, to put it nicely.

In trying to remember herself and her abilities, she'd become a hazard. She was stronger than she expected (remembered), bending spoons and breaking glasses spontaneously. She even broke off the doorknob of her room. Steve was very kind and assured her that it was no big deal; it could easily be fixed.

He was very kind about everything, actually. He slept in the same room with her, but on a couch. He told her lots of things about their past, her past with SHIELD and even the details she forgot concerning her family. He was just so lovely.

“Well duh he's nice, he's your husband!” Chloe laughed when Seren shared her thoughts.

She honestly forgot sometimes that was true. Steve never mentioned it, never even tried to do anything husband-like with her. He was her husband — the idea of it left Seren with red cheeks when she remembered the fact. The famous, handsome, charming Steve Rogers was her husband. So many women wanted him but he only wanted her. Her.

“Why me?” She asked Chloe one day and the blonde laughed at her. It wasn't a joke. He seemed perfect in every way and so far all she did was bring problems. She’d read all about him (in secret, of course) and he sounded perfect. He is perfect.

“I know you're missing like 80% of your memories but you're too much,” Chloe sighed dramatically and left Seren to finish her breakfast on her own.

Seren knew she didn't make any jokes so she was very confused why she didn't get an answer. She dragged her spoon across her cereal bowl, not really hungry anymore. The days seemed to drag on with her repeatedly failing to remember more things.

“Hey, Seren,” Bucky Barnes strode into the kitchen and gave a small wave of his hand.

Seren looked over her shoulder as he went around the island and straight to the fridge. “You guys are back,” she said, half-smiling.

She was actually relieved because it meant that Steve was back too and she wouldn’t have to sleep all alone in the room anymore. The bedroom was very big and she honestly didn’t like being in it all alone, especially in the dark. There was even a connecting door that wouldn’t open to complete the whole creepy vibe. She stayed away from it.

“Did everything go well?” Seren asked, trying to subtly find out if Steve was alright. She hadn’t heard from him since he left yesterday and it frankly wouldn’t let her rest.

Bucky turned away from the fridge with an apple in hand. He gave it a big bite and chewed. “Is that question about all of us?” He smiled as Seren very quickly ducked her head and mumbled ‘of course’. “How are the memories, then? Coming back yet?”

Seren left her spoon in her bowl with a long sigh. “I wish. Dr. Cho said it could take time but it’s getting very annoying.”

Bucky’s smile spread. “I get that.”

“You do?”

Bucky nodded. “I also had my memories wiped — on purpose.” And before Seren asked, he added: “It’s a very long story and you have enough on your plate. All you should get from this is that I truly understand what you’re going through.”

“Then you understand how pathetic I feel,” Seren said glumly. She pushed her cereal bowl away from her and looked away.

“And how lost you feel,” Bucky agreed. “But I also know that the worst feeling is neither of those things. It’s the pressure to remember things because you feel like it’s expected of you.” Seren visibly gulped, her big green eyes flickering back to him. “Especially when your husband dotes on you, right?”

If she felt bad before, she felt terrible now. “Do you usually give me pep talks?”

Bucky snorted lightly. “Not really, but I know what I’m talking about this time, trust me.” Seren still felt low, and looked the part. “Steve does not expect anything from you, Seren. He’s my best friend, I know him almost as much as you do.”

“Did, because as of right now, I don’t know him that way anymore,” Seren said quietly. “I don’t know anyone that way anymore.”

“The funny thing about memories is that even if you don’t remember something, you still feel things every now and then. You feel whether things are right or wrong. That’s what keeps you going in these situations.”

“It’s hard…” Seren said, bringing a hand over her heart. “It feels like I’m missing a big chunk of my heart and so far nothing seems to be able to fill that void.”

Bucky knew what she was talking about even if she didn’t. Unfortunately, that was something he wouldn’t be able to understand with her.

~ 0 ~

After breakfast, Seren headed back to the bedroom. She wasn’t really in the mood for anything and would much rather rot in bed. She walked in at the same time that Steve came out of the bathroom with no shirt on. Her first instinct was to turn around, and she did with a loud squeak.

“Sorry!” she cried, absolutely mortified.

Steve just smiled at her from his spot. “It’s fine, Seren. I do have pants on, you know.”

Seren brought a hand to her forehead, trying to calm her racing heart down. “I-I know, I just…I didn’t know you would be here…I…sorry.”

“I was just cleaning myself up before putting the patches on, but I can do that quickly so you don’t feel uncomfortable.” And Steve truly meant it, heading straight to the bed where he left his things.

“Wait — patches?” Seren forgot all about her embarrassment and turned to see what Steve was talking about. There was a box of wound patches on the bed that Steve was reaching for. “What-what are those?”

“It’s nothing. Helen insisted on something while I healed but I’m okay,” Steve said as he pulled one of the patches from the box.

“Nothing?” Seren walked over in a hurry and stopped him from doing anything. She peered forward and caught sight of a red mark just on the side of abdomen. “Nothing?” she said incredulously and blinked up at him. “That’s a wound, Steve! A big red — what is that, a stab wound?”

“No,” chuckled Steve, which just made her that much more angry.

“It’s a — you’re hurt! You’re hurt and you’re not downstairs with Dr. Cho! You should — let’s go!” She grabbed his arm and with her strength easily pulled him with her towards the door. “We are going to get this fixed and you are going to—”

“Seren, I’m fine!” Steve yanked her right back and she stumbled into him. Immediately, she stepped back but she was adamant that he needed to be taken care of. “I heal fast like you, alright? This is a minor injury for me. Within a few hours, I’ll be okay.”

She didn’t believe him. He could see it in her worry-filled eyes. His heart may have pinged a little. It was the first time she showed real feelings about him that weren’t confusion or reluctance.

“I’m fine, I promise,” he reiterated with a gentle voice. He brought a hand to her cheek, taking a moment to relish in being able to touch her after so long. (It had only been a week but it felt like an eternity for him.) “It’s superficial, nothing to worry about.”

But Seren still looked wary at the cut. It looked too long for her taste. “Let me help you…” she had said quietly but pleadingly.

They sat down on the bed together. Seren asked him how the hell he had gotten the cut in the first place, which led to Steve’s unfortunate story-telling about some lackey getting the jump on him. But he was proud to say that he finished the fight on top.

“With your super strength, I expect nothing less…” she said, making an effort to smile for him. She felt sick to her stomach knowing he’d been hurt on a mission while she slept. She took the patch box in her hands and pulled one of the patches out. “I should probably be wearing gloves or something…”

“You’re fine,” Steve said, “And I can really do this on my own, you know.”

“I have no doubt you have experience but I want to help where I can.” Seren ripped the package open and carefully and took out the patch. “Sit still,” she instructed him.

Steve wondered if there was a way to tell her he had absolutely no problem being still while she touched him without freaking her out. There probably wasn’t. So he just watched her silently instead. He held his breath when she inevitably got closer to her and her fingers touched his skin. Her fingers were so soft and gentle; he ached for her touch. The past week he’d spent every night watching her try to sleep just hoping that she would call him to her side.

Seren was no nurse by any means but her hands seemed to know exactly what to do. She attached the patch to Steve’s side on the first try. She started to suspect that this wasn’t the first time she patched him up and she wondered if he had done the same to her times before.

“There we go…” she straightened up and cast a proud smile at the patch that didn’t move.

Steve chuckled. “Thank you, nurse Seren.”

She flushed with his charming eyes on her. She then remembered that he was shirtless and by no means was he bad looking from any angle. It was during her long study of his body that she noticed another wound on his chest. It seemed to be healing but by the looks of it, it was too deep to be completely gone in “hours” like he had said about the other wound.

“What’s that one?” she asked him, curiously.

For some reason, the question put Steve on edge. He cleared his throat and made some excuses about having to go check in on Bucky who was also hurt.

“You’re lying,” she stopped him from trying to get up from bed. “I just saw Bucky earlier and he was fine — he was hungry but he was fine. What’s that wound from?”

“It’s not important Seren,” Steve said, but she gripped his arm before he tried standing up again.

“Were that true you wouldn’t be trying to get away from me,” she retorted. “What’s the matter? I thought you said you wouldn’t lie to me.” It was the first thing he had told her when they walked into their bedroom together. “Why are you lying now?”

Steve sighed. “I’m…I’m not trying to lie. I just don’t want you to feel bad.”

“Feel bad?” Seren said, frowning until it donned on her. “You got that because of me?”

Seeing no point in delaying the truth, Steve nodded. “It was the last time we were on a mission together…”

Seren couldn’t remember a thing of course, but a few minutes of thinking led her to the only logical answer based on the healing state of his wound. “When I lost my memories?”

“Yeah. It’s my fault this all happened,” Steve said. “We walked into a trap and the room was going to collapse. You got hurt and I was holding a part of the ceiling to keep it from falling on us. There was still someone else in the room and they fired with some strange technology. It hit me right here and I let go of the ceiling piece and…it hit you. That’s why you can’t remember anything.” He swallowed thickly with heavy guilt. Even his eyes had lowered with shame. “I let that thing fall on you and I…I’m so sorry, Seren. That’s long overdue, I know. I wasn’t brave enough to tell you. I’ve been a coward.”

“It doesn’t sound like you were a coward to me,” Seren said gently. Her hand reached under his chin and lifted his head so they could meet each other’s eyes. “It sounds like you protected me until the last possible moment.”

“But I didn’t protect you,” Steve said, frowning. “You can’t remember anything—”

“You were shot. Last time I remember, the only God around here was Thor and even he gets hurt. You did what you could in the situation.” Seren scooted closer to him, lowering her hand from his chin to his chest. “You were willing to stand in the line of fire for me and how do I repay you?” Her smile was bitter. “By not remembering you. I’m sorry.”

“Hey…” He took her hand off his chest and held it in hers, “No. It’s not on you.”

“Well, it’s definitely not on you either,” she retorted.

Steve chuckled very lightly. Even without memories, she still wouldn’t let him have one argument. “I’m going to do everything I can to get your memories back, I promise.” He pressed a small kiss on her palm.

Seren felt the kiss all the way to her heart. It was fascinating what a little gesture like that could do to her.

“The funny thing about memories is that even if you don’t remember something, you still feel things every now and then. You feel whether things are right or wrong.”

Right now, things felt very right to her.

That’s what keeps you going in these situations.”

By no means had Steve pulled her closer to him and yet she was. She felt transfixed by his charming eyes and beautiful smile. This was the first time they were ever this close to each other. Steve was still holding her hand but bless his heart he wasn't making any advances on her. He was just basking in the moment because it had been a long time since he'd been able to get one of them.

Seren wanted to try something. Before she thought about it (and inevitably talked herself out of it), she leaned forward and kissed him. It was small and Steve barely got the chance to kiss back when she had pulled away. They did, however, share the same wide-eyed shocked looks.

Seren swore that he could hear her hammering heart and was just too nice to make fun of her for it. In reality, Steve was just trying to control himself; this was the first time his wife kissed him in over a week. He was losing the battle and before he knew it, his hand had come to the back of Seren’s neck and pulled her towards him.

He heard Seren's surprised gasp just before he felt her lips against his. None of Helen's medication would ever have the same effect as his wife's touch. He'd ask for her forgiveness later — he truly would — but he just couldn't help himself.

Seren, however, never even considered the idea to move away. Once again it was like her body was remembering everything for her. His lips were warm and gentle despite having a firm hand on the back of her neck. She knew to wrap her arms around his neck and press her body against his. If someone were to ask her when she did such a thing, she wouldn’t be able to tell them. All she knew was that everything was very, very right.

She felt an irrevocable adoration for him. It was alarming in a way…to feel so strongly about someone she couldn’t really remember that much. She may not have her memories, but she was absolutely certain that she did in fact have feelings for her husband.

But she wasn't quite ready to admit that out loud.

Her hands slid down his chest, reminding her that he was currently shirtless and most importantly that he was injured. She had to have some self control!

She broke away from him, foreheads resting against one another’s. The idea to pick up where they left off was very enticing.

“You, um, should be resting…” Seren said, acting as if her whole body wasn’t on fire. “Minor injury or not, it’s still an injury so, um…”

“Wait, Seren!” Steve grabbed her hand as she began to move away from him. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that, I—”

But Seren eased him by placing her other hand over his with a soft smile on her face. “Everything’s okay,” she promised him. “You should really rest.”

Steve agreed with her idea only to make her happy. He felt absolutely fine — better than fine after that kiss.

“I could stay with you, if you want…”

The day got a lot better then. Steve could suddenly spend the whole day resting if Seren stayed with him.

~ 0 ~

Steve never thought the day would come where he would have to explain to Seren how to bake cinnamon rolls. She taught him everything there was to know about cinnamon rolls. She took him out to taste cinnamon rolls for the first time when they were still just friends. And she was the one who told him about all the variations of the pastry.

Now here he was teaching her how to bake them.

She followed his every direction and watched him do it first before replicating him. She thought they were making a big mess in the kitchen but Steve told her it was part of the process. She had to trust him.

She totally did. She liked it when he talked about the moments they shared when they were around the dessert. She could tell it made Steve incredibly happy getting to recount the days of their afternoon outings to their favorite bakery, the evenings where neither one could sleep and their solution was to get up at 2am and bake cinnamon rolls.

The things she read about Steve online were that he tended to be shy around people but right now, he seemed perfectly content. She was happy that it was with her.

Steve finally noticed that she had not said much in a few minutes and stopped talking to look at her beside him. “I’m talking your ears off, aren’t I?”

Her head was tilted, a wide sweet smile on her face. “I think you’re doing great,” she said. There was something about the way she looked at him that made Steve’s heart flutter. “Don’t stop on my account,” she then said, sealing his fate. He would talk for hours if that’s what she wanted.

When the cinnamon rolls were done, they were both excited to try them. Neither one could wait until they were properly cooled off.

“Ouch!” Seren burst into laughter at the burn on her tongue. She dropped her piece of bread on the aisle. “Yup, that’s what I get for being impatient!”

Steve chuckled and wiped the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “Not the first time this happens.”

Seren could definitely see that. “You got burned too!”

“I did,” Steve nodded, “But I expected it.”

“Oh, cause you remember and all and I don't!”

Steve playfully rolled his eyes at her. “That’s not funny.”

But Seren’s lips spread into a wide smile that threatened to become a laugh any moment now. “It's a little funny.”

The moment lasted well into the day uninterrupted.

~0~

Steve had been nervous about showing Seren some photo albums for the sake of not stressing her out more, so he never brought the subject up. She had only seen the ones about herself and her family.

But one evening Seren asked about pictures of them. He picked the right album out and gave it to her to look over. Turns out, she wanted to see them together and so there they were going through the pages of their life. It was pretty late in the evening but neither one had shown any sign of wanting to turn in for the day. Steve didn’t really want to leave Seren’s side, not when they were so comfortable sitting in bed together.

Seren went through many pages while Steve explained the photos as best as he could. She believed him when he said that they had met through “work”. What she found interesting was that she had been the first person he saw when he woke up from his 70 year sleep. It made her feel a bit special to have had that privilege.

“So that's why you asked for my help to reintegrate into our world?” she asked. “Because I was the first person you met?”

“Not exactly,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“Then why?”

“You inspired trust. And you were the only person who spoke the way I would understand. I was a soldier, and you spoke to me as one.”

Seren gazed at a few pictures of them at SHIELD. “Well, according to my own history, I was more or less one myself in this place.” It sounded like their time in SHIELD had been filled with lots of work, foremost, and secrets. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Always…”

Seren passed a few more pages in the album, looking at each picture of herself. “I look very different in all these pictures…except here…” For she had finally come to the pictures of their wedding day. “I had much shorter hair before the wedding, and ginger. And by the looks of it, I had that style for a very long time. Why did I change it? Do you know?”

“I do,” nodded Steve. “Growing up, you were always trying to hide yourself — your real self — so when you left home for the first time and moved to the city, you wanted to change.”

“Like a rebellion phase?”

Steve couldn’t help his chuckle. “I think you just wanted to break out of your small town.”

“So why did I change it again?”

“Well, you said that you finally felt comfortable being you.”

Seren side-glanced him with a furrowed brow. “Just like that?” Steve wouldn’t look at her directly which gave her the impression that he wasn’t telling her the complete truth. “Before the wedding?”

“Something like that…”

“Steve, just tell me,” she chuckled. “I won’t freak out if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Steve reluctantly met her gaze knowing that the moment he did, he would spill everything. “You told me that you finally felt like you could be you because of us. I gave you the confidence to be who you used to be — our love did. I know it sounds dumb and that I’m taking credit for something that came directly from you but I swear that’s—”

“I believe you,” Seren said softly. “You inspire comfort, you know. In these past days, you’ve given me so much support of course I’d believe something like that.” She reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I can see why I married you.”

Steve smiled at her and squeezed her hand back. Such a simple sentence had his heart pinging, even more so as Seren leaned closer to him. He started doing the same with no hesitation. Their noses brushed with one another and then they kissed. It was a small kiss but it felt like a huge step for them. It was domestic, sweet — the little things between husband and wife that made every day that much better.

“I think it’s time to get some sleep, don’t you think?” Steve asked afterwards, their noses once again brushing.

“Yeah,” Seren replied, her eyes flickering up to him, “But you don’t have to go to that ugly couch…unless you want to, of course…”

Steve chuckled. “I…I would definitely benefit from staying here…”

Seren smiled again and started setting the albums on the nightstand beside her, all the meanwhile smiling proudly to herself.

~ 0 ~

“Well, someone’s a happy camper,” Chloe remarked when Steve walked into the kitchen with a significantly wide grin on his face. She and Bucky were having breakfast on the aisle and shared smirking glances with each other.

Steve rolled his eyes at the two of them. “Knock it off.”

“Can you stop grinning already then?” Bucky said, his own smirk widening.

“You heard the man — knock it off!” Chloe elbowed Bucky on the side, ignoring his deadpanning look.

“You literally started it,” he pointed out, but she waved him off.

“So I’m guessing things are going well with my dear best friend?” she asked Steve.

“Actually, yes, they are,” he was happy to say.

“I could have told you that!” Bucky said with a roll of his eyes and flapped an arm at Steve. “Look at the goofy grin on his face!”

Chloe chuckled. “True. But if it’s any consolation, Steve, you should know that Seren wears the same one when she talks about you.”

Steve was halfway to rolling his eyes when he paused. “Wait, she talks about me?”

Bucky snorted. “It’s actually pathetic to be this kind of clueless when you’re already married.”

“This is reaching boy talk territory…” Chloe said, making a face as she got up from her stool, “Which is my cue to leave. But I’m happy you’re making progress, Steve!” She grabbed her bowl and promptly took off.

“For what it's worth, she's right,” Bucky said, “Seren seems to be getting the gist of what her life was about.”

Steve agreed. Seren seemed a lot less pressured and more easygoing with daily tasks.

“Has she remembered any specifics?” Bucky asked curiously.

“Some bits here and there,” Steve said. “Helen says it's normal so…just hoping it keeps getting better from here on out.”

“Well, I mean, it��is…isn't it?”

Steve couldn't take Bucky's teasing look. “Knock it off,” he warned lightly. “I don't want Seren to overhear anything and feel pressured again.”

Bucky raised his hands in front of him. “Alright…but it is getting better right?” His smirk was back and wide.

“And we're done,” Steve declared and went towards the fridge. He had barely opened it when his cell phone went off. Seeing the ID on the screen, he answered quickly. “Hello?”

Bucky watched the color drain from his best friend's face. He listened to Steve's very short conversation and picked up on the problem. “It's the munchkin, isn't it?” he asked when Steve hung up.

“Just when things were getting easier…” Steve mumbled, his hand gripping his phone. There was no question about what he needed to do. He just hoped that Seren wouldn't completely freak out on him.

~0~

“Okay, spill,” Chloe had plopped down on a bench to watch Seren train, her breakfast bowl still clutched in her hands. “What's going on with you and Steve lately?”

Seren, who had been about to attempt to fire star matter from her extended fists, lowered her arms and glanced at Chloe incredulously. “Good morning to you too, Chloe. I know half my memories are gone but I'm pretty sure greeting someone in the morning is still a thing.”

Chloe waved her hand dismissively and repeated her question. “And don't you dare to lie to me,” she warned beforehand. “I'm your best friend. I know when you're lying.”

Seren snorted. “Okay. I didn't know the topic of my marriage was that important to you.”

“It's gossip and it beats getting a crappy rundown from Bucky later on. I swear he only gets like 30% of what Steve tells him. It's annoying.”

Once again, Seren was about to fire when she stopped and glanced at Chloe. “Wait, Steve talks about me to Bucky?”

“Duh, they're best friends. What are we doing exactly?”

“Well I'm trying to train and you're interrupting me but—”

“Seren!”

“What?” groaned Seren, abandoning the idea of training for the moment.

“Just tell me!” Chloe exclaimed. “You know you used to tell me like everything before you lost your memories. Whatever you tell me, I will take to the grave.”

“Oh,” Seren scoffed, placing a hand on her hip, “so that means you won't be talking to Bucky about what I tell you?”

“That's different,” Chloe shrugged, but at Seren's hard look she tried again. “Okay, girl code overrides boyfriend talks.” She flashed Seren a friendly smile. “I would never share anything you don't want me to. I'm the one you confided in when you first realized you had feelings for Steve.”

Seren playfully shook her head. “It’s just progressing, that's pretty much it. I'm remembering a few things but the big picture is still pretty much foggy. Steve's just continued helping me.”

“And?” Chloe's eyes narrowed. “Because you've been acting pretty differently — well, more like you've been acting the way you used to when you first started dating him. Like a lovestruck idiot.”

“Thanks!”

“Don't worry, Steve's acting the same way.”

“This is pointless,” Seren said, deciding to pick up on her training. She turned towards the target waiting for her. She focused and felt the flow of energy heating up around her fists, urging her to release it in one big—

“You've definitely kissed, haven't you?”

The power vanished as Seren flinched. “Chloe!”

The blonde laughed. “Oh, you definitely did something!”

Seren's red face was more than proof enough.

“Did you guys, like—”

“Okay!” Seren turned towards Chloe. “The conversation’s done now! It's none—”

“Seren?” Steve's voice froze the woman in the middle of her yell. He sensed the tension from his spot by the doors.

“Steve, hey…” Seren cleared her throat, feeling an insane heat rush up to her face at the idea that he could have heard the conversation. “What are — what are you doing here?”

“We, uh, we have to talk,” Steve said earnestly, “It's kind of urgent.”

Seren could tell and instantly got nervous. She exchanged glances with Chloe, the latter seeming just as puzzled as she was. “Um, okay, yeah…”

Steve waited for her to join her at the doorway and then left together, each one anxious for very different reasons.

~0~

Seren sat on the foot of their bed, frozen like a statue. Her eyes were permanently wide after what Steve had to say. Just when she thought she had figured almost everything out in her life and then he goes and tells her that.

“I have a son…we have a son…” Saying it herself didn't make it any less overwhelming for her.

The only one who felt worse was Steve for telling her when she clearly wasn't ready for the news. “I am very sorry, Seren. I didn't — I didn't want to drop it on you until you were more ready but I got a call from your parents earlier.”

“My parents?” Seren's brows furrowed. “He's with them?”

“We dropped him off in Hudson when we went on our mission and—”

“And he's been there this whole time?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I thought it was best if we kept him there until you got better.”

Seren looked the part of a very, very guilty person. He had sacrificed his time with their 8 month old baby for her comfort? If guilt had ever been personified, it was her.

“Liana, your mother, says Noel's got a bit of a fever and given his genetics, he needs to be properly treated which only Dr. Cho can do. Not to mention she's the only doctor we trust.”

“Only one we trust?” Seren repeated, again confused.

“Noel's, uh, a bit special in terms of his biology,” Steve said, coming to sit down next to her on the bed. He took one of her hands, turning her palm over and giving it an affectionate kiss. “You are one of a kind, human and Celessian. I carry the serum in my body…”

“Oh my God,” Seren’s eyes once again widened, “We passed all that to him? He's-he's so little — is he okay!? Can he take it?”

Steve chuckled. “He is perfectly fine, I promise. He gives us a little surprise every now and then but he's absolutely wonderful.”

“What…what kind of surprises?”

“Well, he's definitely inherited some super strength and your mother swears that she’s seen his little eyes glow with Celessian power sometimes. He'll definitely inherit some of your abilities but not for a while more. We actually think the serum will make him develop his powers earlier than you did.”

“Oh-oh my god…” Seren squeezed his hand without even realizing it.

“It's okay to be overwhelmed, Seren,” Steve said, seeing her getting so worked up trying to act normal. “This is huge and, again, I'm so sorry for dropping it on you like this.”

“No, no…you said he's sick…he should be here with us,” Seren nodded to herself. She couldn't allow for that innocent little baby to go another day without his parents. “We should…we should go get him.”

“I already asked your parents to bring him over and Helen is on her way as well,” Steve said. “But listen, Seren, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I can take care of Noel fine and—”

“No, we can do it together,” Seren said, though she was clearly nervous about the idea. “I may not remember how to be his mother but that's who he needs and he's going to get it. I'll try my best, I promise.”

Steve touched her cheek and assured that he knew she would. “You'll love him like you used to, I know it.”

“I hope he's not mad he stayed away for almost a whole week…”

Steve chuckled lightly. “Oh, he's a bit smarter than the average baby — another little bonus from his genes — so he tends to have a bit of a tude sometimes.”

“Really?” Seren laughed at the idea. “He's only 8 months old though!”

“Sometimes it's like the terrible twos are already rearing in. He's just got so much personality but you know something?”

“What?”

“He adores you as much as I do.”

A blush bloomed across Seren's face. That sounded very nice…

~0~

Seren met her parents with Steve right at the entrance of the compound. She had already spoken to them through video chat days ago and she couldn't believe they had managed to keep her son hidden during that time. She heard Noel's cries long before they actually walked in.

“He's been fussy all the way here,” Liana said as she handed the baby to Steve. “It's the fever, poor thing.”

Seren watched him handle Noel with such ease, it made her even more nervous for when it would inevitably become her turn.

“Seren, honey, how are you doing?” Her father came up and gave her a warm hug.

“I'm alright, dad, thanks,” she said and hugged him back.

“How are the memories?” Liana asked.

“A few are coming back each day,” she replied. “Thank you, uh, for taking care of Noel…I didn't even know he existed, can you believe that?” She said with guilt-ridden eyes.

“It's not your fault,” Liana said, giving her a reassuring hug. “It'll all come back eventually.”

“Helen will be here soon, thank you so much for bringing him here,” Steve said, patting Noel's back as the baby continued to fuss. “And taking care of him, of course.”

“It wasn't any problem,” Brooks said, “You know we always love having our grandson around.”

“We should get him to the medbed for when Helen arrives,” Steve said. Noel began to cry more and more, prompting the goodbye to be even quicker.

When Liana and Brooks left, the couple rushed up to the med bed to get Noel ready. Seren had no idea what to do and just followed Steve’s lead.

“I need to get him some more lightweight clothes,” Steve decided at one point. Noel was crying even harder in his medical bed. “I’ll go to the nursery fast. I’ll be back!”

“Wait, nursery?” Seren made a face. “Where exactly is this nursery?” It was only a second after she asked that she remembered the sealed door in their bedroom. “That’s why you locked the door…so I wouldn’t freak out…”

“Hey, don’t feel bad about it, okay? None of this is your fault. It’ll all be okay, I promise. I’ll be back!”

Seren remained by Noel’s side whose little face was growing redder and redder from crying. She felt awful for the little guy. “Come here,” she picked him up as gently as she could. I could definitely be doing this better, she thought as she awkwardly adjusted the crying baby in her arms. “I’m sorry Noel, I’m…I used to be better at this, I know, but I’m a fast learner. I’ll get it right.” She rocked him side to side to no avail so she decided to try bringing his head to her chest and patted his back. His small hand curled into a fist around her choker’s star pendant. She started rocking him again and, to her surprise, Noel’s cries began to lessen.

Seren was very proud of herself when the cries became distant fusses here and there. “I got you, I promise…” She rubbed his back again and waited for Steve to come back, or Helen to arrive.

Steve returned first and he did so with a new change of clothes for Noel. He was pleasantly surprised with a much quieter baby in his wife’s arms. Plus, Seren seemed just as surprised as he was that whatever she was doing was working.

“He hasn’t let go of my pendant…” she remarked quietly, not wanting to interrupt Noel’s comfort.

Steve came up beside her and put the clothes on the bed. “He loves stars. He always likes playing with the pendant.”

“Maybe that’s what helped calm him down then,” Seren said and prepared to set Noel down on the bed without making him cry.

“Yeah…” Steve bobbed his head, “And maybe the fact he missed you too. He’s kind of a mama’s boy, you know.”

Seren chuckled. “He’s cute; he kind of looks like you…”

“Mm, he has your eyes, and your nose…very cute, indeed.” Steve smiled at her charmingly. She blushed and looked down at Noel in her arms. “Here, I’ll change him.” Steve reached over and took Noel from her, though he seemed to want to cling to his mother’s pendant which left Steve with no other choice but to tug him away.

Seren chuckled as the annoyance on Noel’s face became quite apparent. There was the attitude Steve talked about.

~ 0 ~

Noel’s fever gradually went down after Helen administered some low-level medicine. Both Steve and Seren were very relieved. Neither one slept that night watching Noel and making sure the fever was decreasing. The guilt that had settled on Seren’s shoulders had yet to decrease, even as the baby began to giggle and play like any ordinary baby.

By the afternoon, Noel was acting as if nothing had ever happened. He was on his parents’ bed, playing peek-a-boo. Steve would gently drop a blanket over Noel, who would then squeal and giggle as he pulled the blanket off with little to no effort. Seren was amazed at how easily Noel would rip the blanket off himself — how self aware he was at his early age. He probably had a better handle on his strength than she did right now.

Steve dropped the blanket on Noel two more times before he called it quits for a shower. “I think we finally beat the fever,” he was happy to report. He looked at Seren beside him and saw the beam on her face.

“You think so?”

“We'll still give him the medication Helen left for us but I think by tomorrow, it'll be a thing of the past. He's already looking good, don't you think?”

On cue, Noel slapped Steve's hand in an effort to get his attention back on their game. He pushed the blanket towards Steve and squealed.

Steve chuckled. “Game's over, bud. At least with me. I gotta shower.” He started getting out of bed and noticed the beam on Seren’s face had vanished and she was now looking very panicked. “What's wrong?”

“I, um, I'm not sure…” Seren began to say slowly, her eyes flickering to Noel. He was now pushing the blanket towards her to continue playing. “I haven't been alone with him…what if I do something wrong?”

“I'll only be like 15 minutes and even then, you're a smart woman. You know how to take care of your son, Seren.”

Noel had grown impatient and launched himself into Seren’s lap, laughing away as he landed on his stomach over her lap.

Steve gestured at the baby like a point had just been made. “He trusts and loves his mother; he doesn't know anything else. He doesn't need to.”

Seren’s expression softened with his words and she wished he hadn't already gotten out of bed so she could kiss him.

Steve went around the room picking up some of his things for a shower and as he headed towards the bathroom, he saw from the corner of his eyes Noel smacking his forehead against Seren’s.

“Hey!” Seren cried while Noel burst into another fit of giggles.

“Oh yeah, he does that,” Steve said and watched with amusement as she rubbed her forehead. “You can blame Natasha for teaching him that.”

“What does she do with him? Train him?” Seren muttered. She felt the middle of her forehead throbbing.

“Yes, actually. The whole team takes turns training him.”

This piece of information did not amuse Seren and little did she know that in her normal state, she had felt the same way. “He's a baby!”

Steve smirked and shrugged. “Special baby.” He then went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

He wouldn't admit it out loud but he did have a slightly shorter shower than usual. It wasn't that he didn't trust Seren, he just didn't want to pressure her into doing things she wasn't comfortable with. She was a mother, but she didn't remember and that entailed many things she couldn't remember.

He came out of the bathroom in sweatpants that were just a bit crooked — he rushed to get dressed — and damp hair with some drops of water rolling down the back of his neck. However, all the things he imagined disappeared when he saw Seren still on the bed, sitting against the headboard, with Noel in her arms. His head rested against her chest, his hands tucked underneath him.

Immediately, Seren put a finger against her lips, her eyes wide. “So many things happened in 15 minutes…” she spoke quietly. “First, he tried banging his head on mine again…and then he got angry because I wouldn’t let him bang his head on mine. Then, he tried launching himself off the bed. He also got mad because I wouldn’t let him launch himself off the bed.”

A smile had already been crossing Steve’s face but he lost it when Seren exclaimed “why does our baby like to throw himself!?”.

“That’s actually our fault,” he said, explaining his background before becoming a super soldier and their current jobs. She didn’t quite believe him when he said that she would jump out her bedroom window to practice flying when she was a teenager.

“He’s a daredevil,” Steve concluded.

“Oh dear Lord…” She breathed and looked down at Noel who was peacefully sleeping now. She rubbed a soothing hand up and down his back. “Your teenage years are going to give me gray hairs…”

Steve chuckled. “And you’ll be just as beautiful then as you are now.” He could see the faint blush across her face when he neared her bedside. “You want me to take him?”

“No…” Seren said slowly, gazing at Noel again, “I want to hold him a bit more. He fell asleep so easily even when he was so upset…”

“That’s his favorite way to take naps,” Steve said, “On you — not the being angry part.”

Seren half smiled, careful not to laugh and wake the baby up.

Steve went into Noel’s room and returned shortly with the baby’s blanket to give to Seren. “You’re doing good, you know,” he told her, watching her be gentle with their son as she draped the blanket over him. “You’ve taken care of him exactly how you always do.”

It reassured Seren in what she was doing. “Well, if you don’t mind helping me then…you want to get me an ice pack for my forehead? I don’t know if I’m imagining it but I swear I can feel a throb…”

Steve chuckled and promised her that he would be quick. He went to get her the ice pack and when he returned, he found her coming out of Noel’s room.

“I didn’t want to risk waking him with the movements,” she explained when she joined him.

“Here,” Steve tilted her head up and pressed a finger against her forehead, “I don’t feel any bump or anything…”

“It hurts…” Seren complained and with the wince she gave, Steve became suspicious that it could perhaps be more.

When he suggested calling Helen, Seren brushed it off. It didn’t hurt that bad.

“A baby hit me, that’s just embarrassing,” she joked and managed to dissuade his intentions of calling Helen. Instead, they got ready for bed themselves but as usual, they ended up getting distracted and prolonging their sleep between chats and cleaning up all they had left out of Noel’s.

In her attempt to clean up, Seren stumbled across a small notebook that, upon closer look, turned out to be a sketchbook. “You draw?” she asked Steve curiously before questioning if she was the one who drew.

“No, it’s mine,” Steve said, and she let out a long relieved breath.

“Oh, thank god! With my luck, I’m probably awful.” With a mischievous grin, she hopped on the bed and waved the sketchbook in the air. “I’m taking a peek!”

Steve rolled his eyes playfully and told her that she always knew what he drew. When she opened the sketchbook, she understood why that was. Most, if not all, the sketches were of her. There were a few of Noel as well, sometimes alone but mainly with her.

“Wow, you’re really good…” she said with flushed cheeks. There were sketches of her in just about every possible angle. Some were just of her face and with a type of beauty she knew for a fact she did not own.

“I just draw the truth,” Steve said plainly when she made the comment.

“Oh, shut up!” she said and whacked him with the sketchbook, making him laugh.

“It’s true! Look at yourself — you’re beautiful!”

Seren rolled her eyes and opened up the sketchbook again. She felt nothing less than exceptional under his gaze and across the pages of the sketchbook.

At some point, Steve tugged her to his side and they curled together in bed, going over each of the sketches he made of her until they fell asleep.

~ 0 ~

The following morning, Steve woke up to an empty bed. Maybe it was a little ridiculous of him to panic in such a short amount of time, but he panicked and it did not go away until he found his wife in the nursery.

“You look like you had a nightmare,” Seren said after he burst into the room. She sat in a rocking chair with Noel in her arms, giving him a bottle.

“I—I didn’t,” Steve said quickly, and flushed. Yes, now he felt extremely ridiculous for panicking.

Seren watched him go through a series of emotions like it was a t.v. show and then when she could no longer take it, she laughed. “You are always so worrisome, lovey.”

“Yeah, I know,” Steve sighed and nodded, “I can’t help it. It’s just a—” He stopped abruptly and looked at Seren again.

She continued feeding Noel and raised an eyebrow at Steve. “Yes?”

“You just…you called me…”

“Lovey, yes, why?”

Steve stared at her for a long moment. Seren could practically see the cogs in his head trying to push through his sleepiness to start working.

“You got your memories back,” he whispered, finally having worked it out. She nodded at him and he felt like his entire world was lighting up. He rushed forwards and grabbed Seren’s head as gently as possible while she fed their son. “You got your memories back?” He whispered breathlessly. “You remember now? You remember?”

Seren nodded at him. “I think Noel’s little bang last night was actually a ‘cognitive recalibration’...”

Steve chuckled and looked down at Noel who, under both his parents’ attention, grinned behind his bottle. “You learned well from Aunt Nat,” Steve gave him a quick kiss on his forehead.

“He got me good,” Seren said, “I woke up this morning and it was like nothing ever happened. I remembered everything.”

“Thank God!” Steve kissed her forehead. “I am so sorry, Seren! It was all my fault!” He kissed her cheeks. “I didn’t protect you, I’m sorry!”

“What are you talking about?” Seren stopped him with one of her hands.

Steve bent down in front of her chair, taking her hand in his. “I let that thing fall on us and it hurt you. I made you forget everything! I hurt you!”

“None of what you’re saying is true,” Seren said. “We agreed from the start that you and I were a 50/50 partnership. That’s parenting, that’s leading the team, protecting each other — all of it is half and half. You do what you can like always. You did what you could back there.”

“I'm sorry,” insisted Steve, unable to shake off the guilt.

“For what?” Seren smiled softly at him. “You've done nothing but help me ever since I woke up and I just know it hurt you that I couldn't remember us. It's okay. It's okay.” She cupped the side of his face and Steve put his hand over hers. “We're all together and that's what matters. Not to mention thanks to you.”

Steve smiled at her, his face filled with gratitude. All he wanted now was to hold his little family and enjoy them.

[alexandrite-dragoness]

Persona 3 HEX: Before the Dawn

*rubs hands together* Ok storytiiiiime!

Read Hex: Before the Dawn on Ao3!

Spoiler-free Q’s & A’s:

What is Persona 3 HEX? Before the Dawn??

Persona 3 HEX: Before the Dawn is a fanfiction story taking place in an alternative universe where Strega didn’t get experimented on by the Kirijo Group. Instead, they have been happily adopted by the school Chairman himself, Shuji Ikutsuki. From then on they start to have an average normal childhood with their adoptive father and be actual kids that they can be, and after awakening to their Personas naturally they join SEES as their allies.

The title ‘HEX’ was something I threw in in reference to the Dark Hour being a ‘curse’ and Strega being another word for ‘witch’. The ‘Before the Dawn’ subtitle is based on the more or less infamous phrase, “The Darkest Hour is Just Before the Dawn”, and I think it’s fitting given the whole theme of the supernatural era is literally called the Dark Hour.

I’ve also been calling this AU a “Gekkoukan!Strega AU”, due to them also attending the same school as the rest of the characters, so you may expect seeing that phrase over and over again in my other blogs too.

So what does that mean for... you know?

This will mean that the differences will happen in this story. First off, there won’t be an actual Strega group for SEES to face! Meaning Shinjiro won’t die by the hands of Takaya, and Chidori will be happier and live in pursue of her dreams and love from her family (and perhaps not die either, lol). To be fair not everyone is going to be saved in this matter. Death will still be an ongoing event (just not as much) in the story, just happening in different ways and with different characters. I’m keeping this blog spoiler free so once I start posting the chapters up... you’ll know!

And yes, I’m very well aware about Ikutsuki, and I have plans for the guy. I mean I have been changing my mind over and over with how things would unfold, first being completely angst to an actual twist of something else entirely! But I’m sure I’ll stick to one of the plans later down the line, and it’ll be a bumpy ride throughout.

Are there going to be Junpei x Chidori then? What about other ships?

Yes! I’m planning to add some Jundori in the story! Their way of meeting, interacting, confessing, etc. will be modified to fit the story better, but yes they will be together, and it’ll be a slow burn (heh, get it? burn as in... ah nvm!). Just as a heads up there will be a rarepair within this factor too: Jin and Fuuka! I’ve been head over heels over this pairing since I put them together as a crackship at one point... and then I ended liking them for real. Also there will be some ShinHam (FeMC x Shinjiro) moments here too, not as much as the others but they’ll appear here and there. Other than that, that’s about it. While I’m also a fan of ShuYuka and AkiMitsu too, I’m not planning to have them as much of a pairing?? I don’t think?? I figure with less ships in the story the less complicated it’ll be. Just my thoughts on that.

So you’re adding Hamuko/FeMC in the story too? With her Orpheus Persona?

She’ll be in the story, but with a separate Persona. Since it would be weird for two characters to have that same type of Persona, I’m giving her a different one to differentiate them. Hers will be based on a Greek Goddess known as Hestia, one who is the goddess of hearth, or ‘fireside’ if you will. Since her elements has been fire, I thought the persona works for her in that sense. However, with her and Chidori added to the party, that makes a total of four? Five fire users? Which is a lot, but I’m going to dismiss that extra thought since they’ll still have their own unique abilities. Also her name will be Kotone in this story, since I prefer that name over Hamuko.

Are Gekkou!Strega’s Personas going to remain the same? Why?

I have given some thought that they would at least maybe awaken to a different Persona due to the fact the deities based on them are children of Nyx, and play more of the antagonist roles altogether. However, my very knowledge of Greek Myth is veerrryy little and I hate the idea of choosing the wrong ‘Persona’ for each of the three characters if they were to represent them. Besides, Ken’s Persona is also a Nyx child so I don’t see this as much as a problem, and there will be those second awakenings that, yes, the three Strega ppl will have one later on in the story. So that’s something to look forward to!

What would Gekkou!Strega’s roles be then, based on their skills and abilities?

With their addition to the team at least two of the three characters will have their respective roles in the team. Instead of Mitsuru as navigator, that role will be split among Chidori and Jin, with Chidori as the main navigator and Jin being the one to pinpoint weaknesses and resistances from enemies. And while that may not sound to be the most ideal for some readers, this is my way of giving them their own moments in battle. Mitsuru in that case will be already in the team of the other Persona users early in the story.

Takaya himself will be part of the main offense team too, and his skills will be similar to his canon counterpart in consists of Megido skills. I will be adjusting other things with them regarding movesets and stats that will be mentioned in the story for them to be more... unique, to put it.

Who is this ‘OC’ character in the story? What do they do?

Ah, yes, there will be an original character in this story, but he is not my OC (if that makes sense). This character, named Izumi, is based from a Japanese Persona 3 novel known as “Shadow Cry”, and he is really just a book-exclusive character who is one of the survivors out of the hundred children from the Kirijo Group experiments (and is real good friends with Jin and Takaya, but from what I’m gathering mostly Jin). This book unfortunately never got localized or officially translated for the english readers, though I figure some would say it’s not part of the P3 canon by any means (which is understandable, but I’m taking this as such cuz the lack of Strega content saddens me personally). The first chapter, however, has been fan translated from a user called chuuni from LiveJournal, and if any of you are interested I totally recommend giving that part a read, just for you guys to get a perspective of Strega and the Izumi character a bit more!

What will we learn about Gekkou!Strega? Is there going to be some backstory about their pasts?

Yes, of course! Absolutely! Including bits with how each of them will ‘naturally’ awaken to their Personas! There will be random points in time where there will be flashbacks regarding the Strega children and how they experience with the Dark Hour, and also how they interact with the other SEES members in the dorms (I will even put the respective dates down on where those take place). Now they won’t always be in chronological order, as they may mainly appear in the story in relevance to the current event happening in the story (or maybe not, if I have the need to squeeze some flashbacks somewhere). But surely they’ll all connect to each other and hopefully they may make more sense along the way.

Are you planning to ‘replace’ Strega in terms of position of rivalry?

Hmm, yes and no. I’m not going to give too much out about it, I don’t want to give anything away too soon. But there will be some scenes where certain events of canon Strega would be replaced by something else. Not in a sort of rivalry like a gang or anything, so I’ll keep it at that. But there will be something going on here and there, that’s for sure.

Ok but— about Ikutsuki tho...

Hey, I said it’s all good, remember? There’s going to be some good dad moments between him and the adopted children throughout the story, with them in flashbacks and how they grew up together than such. But not too many though, I don’t want to make this story too long, lol.

Conclusion

I know not many people really care for Strega and how things would’ve ended differently for them (with the exception of Chidori, ofc). But when I started to getting to know them and found the book more about the group (aka Shadow Cry), I wanted to express my inner joy by writing this story up! Hopefully I keep up with it, I’m planning to post them once a month in accordance to the actual in-game months (After the Prologue the second chapter will take place in April, third chapter takes place in May, etc etc,). While this would be somewhat of a rehash to P3′s plot, expect some of the similar scenes from the games. The major differences would be Gekkou!Strega’s moments and flashbacks during those events and even in new scenes for the story. I would also be taking various scenes from the movie, game and manga for what I see fit, and even switch around some characters in those situations that have been shown before.

And as expected the story will be rated M, just like the game rating. So expect content like strong language, blood, death and such. Overall there will be family/friendship moments, romance, angst, and feels. Lots and lots of feels <3

I do hope I actually write all the chapters and post them accordingly as planned, but most of all I hope everyone else coming across this story will enjoy it just as much as I would ^-^

[gillianthecat]

scattered post-viewing thoughts on Fahlanruk episode 10 (though I actually started writing them about two thirds in)

- this is a good show to watch while the combination of caffeine and vague physical discomfort has absolutely destroyed my already limited attention span. It is not made any worse by watching in 15 to 30 second increments.

- this really is The Gossip Show. Over half the scenes are either of people gossiping about each other or digging for information so they can gossip later. Now, I like to gossip as much as the next person, but it's kind of boring to watch? At least the way this show is doing it. It means not that much actually happens, people just talk about it.

- Anna's back! Unfortunately all she does pretty much is gossip too :-/

- I love Pie's outfit and his sparkly bag. This show keeps presenting me with characters that I want to love, who seem very intriguing, but then they turn out to be gossips or creeps or both. No one on this show understands boundaries. Except Namwan, my one true love. Namwan darling, I hope you find someone equally kind and wise to love you the way you deserve. You may have to leave this university to find them though.

- I appreciate the show's commitment to keeping Fah shirtless as much as possible. (Congratulations to the actor for your impressive strength training results.) But also I felt very uncomfortable for him through the whole costume fitting scene, it seemed like everyone was trying to sexually harass him and his magically intermittent hickeys.

- Bringing all this food onto the stage and into the dressing room is making me nervous. I feel like you aren't supposed to eat so close to the sets and costumes.

- Perhaps Fah is learning to get over his jealousy around Sher's friendship with Prince? That would be healthy for everyone.

- Did Prince and Gear make up last episode and I just totally blanked on it? I cannot for the life of me recall anything about them post Prince sobbing in his living room. But he seems very calm about them this episode? Sorry guys, I just find you so very dull you don't stick in my brain.

- Oh maybe Fah is not getting over his jealousy lol.

- Oh hey it's finally this scene from the opening credits! (The shirtless photo shoot.) We still need to see Ping and Tap's tentative kiss and Sher sobbing on the floor.

- Oh my poor pining babies. That tentative non-hug. They are both so sad and awkward with each other. But also I feel like things are finally moving in the right direction with them. The darkest hour is just before dawn etc.

- I continue to think that Ping's actor is the best of the bunch. And he brings out the best work in Tap's actor. Who I think is the prettiest boy in the show. Although I do love Ping's hair. I hope I get to see them in other stuff!

- Ok I know I said I find Prince and Gear boring, but that little cheek kiss was cute!

- Oy. Yet another repetition of the same old fight between Fah and Sher. I know that's realistic to relationships but it's not that engaging to watch.

- Oh great, a return of the I'm mad at you/hurt by you so I'm going to sexually assault you trope. 🥴 (I typed tripe at first which honestly is a better word for it.)

- I feel like Fah and Sher's storyline keeps just going in circles. But I also find them fairly uninteresting and my brain becomes a sieve whenever they're on screen so it might just be that.

- My pining babies continue to be my favorite and there was not enough of them this week. But it looks like next week we get that tentative kiss!!!

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: February 28 - March 6, 2022

Void of Course Moon

Tuesday, March 1, 02:01 UT (Aquarius) - 22:53 UT (Pisces)

Thursday, March 3, 21:45 UT (Pisces) - Friday, March 4, 00:52 UT (Aries)

Sunday, March 6, 04:02 UT (Aries) - 08:00 UT (Taurus)

US followers are reminded that submitting/filing one’s income taxes during a void of course Moon, is said to prevent audits.

Lunar Phases

Wednesday, March 2, 17:35 UT - New Moon, 12:07 Pisces

The key phrase for the New lunar phase is to “set a new intention for the month.” Remember to find something you’ll be able to establish in only one month’s time. This particular New Moon has close connections to Jupiter and Uranus, giving us (to quote myself) “a prime opportunity to become more tolerant and humanitarian. But this New Moon is also conjunct the Centaur Nessus, whose reputation is scary. Cycles of abuse, obsessions, bad family karma through the generations, things like that. But at Tumblr astrolovecosmos I found some ways to help Nessus break these cycles. For ‘Nessus in Pisces,’ they write, ‘Cycles are broken by listening and following their intuition, find space to be alone and with ones self, learn healthy detachment, and seek out healers or those who have been in similar situations as them and have overcome the cycle.’” Maybe just a commitment to meditate for 10 minutes a day?

Sunday, March 6, 09:28 UT - Crescent Moon, 0:46 Taurus

The key phrase for the Crescent lunar phase is to “gather and mobilize resources.” The Sun is now exactly conjunct Jupiter, but they’re also exactly semi-square the Venus-Mars conjunction in Aquarius - and they are exactly square the Taurus Moon. We may think we already have everything we need - or maybe we’ll need to share, and we don’t want to - or maybe what we need is out of reach. We may not be seeing the situation clearly, for whatever reason of going overboard, due either to pessimism or optimism. Best to keep it as simple as possible and save ornate plans for another time.

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Saturn/Aquarius

Retrograde: nothing until April 29!

Post-retrograde shadow: Venus/Capricorn (until Wednesday), Ceres/Gemini

Transiting Venus exits her post-retrograde shadow on Wednesday, March 2, at 03:45 UT. Yay, I guess - she still has a tough road to hoe, in the immediate future. Venus’ next retrograde zone is in 2023, from June 19 to October 7, between 12:12 and 28:36 Leo.

Ingresses

Sunday, March 6, 06:23 UT - transiting Mars enters Aquarius

I’ve always liked this placement. It makes me think of electricians and engineers - Scotty! Geordi! - and is (somewhat) less selfish and competitive than Mars tends to be. Think of what we can do with a “team player” Mars!

Sunday, March 6, 06:30 UT - transiting Venus enters Aquarius

On the other hand, Venus in Aquarius has a bad reputation, mostly for being cold and unloving. Phooey. This can be a very friendly placement, and I think this will be a great time to brush up on our friendship skills. Not without challenges, of course, but without challenges life is too bland.

Et Cetera

There is one Opportunity Period this week: on Wednesday, March 2, between 17:05 UT and 18:05 UT, half an hour before and after the New Moon. “If you have something important to start around now, this is a great time to do it.”

This doesn’t promise to be a very light-hearted or fun week. We’re starting out with the very best intentions, but we’re challenged as the week continues. Definitely a time to remember “the darkest hour is just before the dawn.” Let’s focus on getting ourselves and our loved ones through the hard times with a minumum of bruising; that’s going to (have to) be enough. Take care of others as well as yourself.

[puckrph]

“BRONCO" STARTERS

taken from orville peck's new 2022 songs. feel free to change pronouns, etc.

DAYTONA SAND

' we've got major blues. ' ' i hope you brought your walking shoes, 'cause it's quite a ways, from what i understand. ' ' rack 'em up. ' ' i think i could've been your man. ' ' long hairs, slow eyes... i like your style. ' ' we both ain't got a job. ' ' nothing seems to last that long. ' ' take me home to mississippi. ' ' it's not tat i don't care, it's just hard to make a plan. ' ' i'm not mad, for what it's worth. ' ' you always take the dare. that's what i learned. ' ' i'm getting tired of this earth. ' ' they say some stones are better left unturned. ' ' is that another whispered plan? ' ' i've been around long enough to know you can't trust a man. '

THE CURSE OF THE BLACKENED EYE

‘ i’ve been hiding out. ’ ‘ darling, i can feel it coming every time. ’ ‘ i sat around last year wishing so many times that i would die. ’ ‘ it follows me around. ’ ‘ nothing to lose. ’ ‘ wouldn’t miss it, anyhow. ’ ‘ it ain’t the letting go. it’s more about the things you take with. ’ ‘ i can feel it getting closer with every kiss. ’ ‘ you gotta beat or join ‘em. ’ ‘ try to act surprised. ’ ‘ just flip a coin, because i’m too bored to lie. ’ ‘ you always said i should work on my escape. ’ ‘ have a heart too long, it’s bound to break. ’ ‘ you’re acting out the opus of your last eternal ache. ’ ‘ just sing the song, for heaven’s sake. ’

OUTTA TIME

' i'm outta time. ' ' he tells me we've got something special. ' ' some things ain't what they seem. ' ' reno never felt so slow. ' ' i'm a wednesday child with a rented ride and a head that's full of woe. ' ' drag me into the party. i guess i've got nowhere else to go. ' ' i guess i've got nowhere to go. ' ' i've got a man to my left and one on my right, and they tell me 'bout what they know. ' ' i want a little less conversation, please. ' ' let's go, baby. i'm outta time. '

LAFAYETTE

‘ i knew that i’d lose you the moment we met. ’ ‘ the bayou still sings every night in my head, though i can’t understand what it wants. ’ ‘ i love when it rains, but i hate getting wet. ’ ‘ i never thought it’d be me that you’d haunt. ’ ‘ words don’t matter. it’s what’s in your head. ’ ‘ if you don’t ask, then you’re bound to not get. ’ ‘ i still know what you said wasn’t wrong. ’ ‘ i can’t turn a corner or walk down the street without seeing your face come along. ’ ‘ i recall somebody saying there ain’t no cowboys left, but they ain’t met me. ’ ‘ they ain’t met me, and they ain’t met you. ’ ‘ the months march away. ’ ‘ it hear it takes years for the heart to reset. ’ ‘ one of these days, i’ll be done with regret. i didn’t think it would take me this long. ’ ‘ i remember how you loved this song. ’

C'MON BABY, CRY

' i can see the sadness in your eyes. ' ' you've been trying to hide what you left behind. ' ' they say it's darkest before the dawn, but you've been smiling for so long. ' ' a thousand teardrops can't be wrong. ' ' i don't want you to be afraid. ' ' let me see you cry. ' ' i got an hour or so. ' ' take my hand and let it go. c'mon, baby, cry. ' ' i can tell you're a sad boy just like me. ' ' don't deny what your poor heart needs. ' ' it's been so long since he called your name. ' ' you're on the run from a losing game. ' ' just bat your eyes, baby. ' ' let me feel the pain. ' ' three words everybody knows. ' ' must be nice where lovers go. ' ' take my hand, don't let it go. just cry. ' ' take my hand, darling. ' ' call me up anytime. '

IRIS ROSE

‘ i would’ve wanted you to watch me play, but i hear the songs there are better. ’ ‘ i’d give it all to hear you call me. �� ‘ i know that’s why we don’t say never. ’ ‘ i wish you’d stayed. ’ ‘ maybe i’d be the same. ’ ‘ get along, darling. ’ ‘ let’s sit alone together and watch the sky. ’ ‘ they tell me not to cry, so i just sigh. ’ ‘ i think about you nearly every day. ’ ‘ dream a lot, and it starts to sting. ’

KALAHARI DOWN

‘ i was born in the badlands. ’ ‘ it was a strange place for a boy to drown. ’ ‘ you’ve been gone away, and i’ve been riding around. ’ ‘ i’m writing out a song on my daddy’s guitar. ’ ‘ did you find your way? skip another town? ’ ‘ i said i couldn’t stay, but it’s different now. ’ ‘ i’m always down for hanging around. ’ ‘ baby, there ain’t a trail to follow. ’ ‘ better off alone, if you ask me. ’ ‘ maybe next time i’ll take you with me. ’ ‘ tell me not to frown. ’ ‘ what do i know? a bunch of sorrow. ’ ‘ maybe someday i’ll get to see it all. ’ ‘ i still hear the sound. ’ ‘ i left to roam on a reckless wander, raising sand on the setting sun. ’ ‘ keep an eye on that dusty highway. ’ ‘ tell my mother i’m nearly done. ’

BRONCO

‘ pack your bags, baby. ’ ‘ you gotta bolt when you see the gates are down. ’ ‘ baby, i’m on fire. ’ ‘ i’m just my daddy’s child running something on the wire. ’ ‘ who’s laughing now? ’ ‘ forget about the score. who cares anymore? ’ ‘ bad news, buddy: every dog gets its day. ’ ‘ catch the sun, let them say your name. ’ ‘ i’m sick of waiting for the hole to mend. ’ ‘ play it out like it’s all pretend. ’ ‘ it’s just another scene. ’ ‘ you’ve gotta live with what you said. ’ ‘ can’t you see the gate from here? ’ ‘ nothing holds me back at all, there’s nothing left to fear. ’ ‘ best of luck, my dear. ’

TRAMPLE OUT THE DAYS

‘ you’re awake. ’ ‘ the season’s gray. ’ ‘ you drive real fast. ’ ‘ i can tell that it’s just not your lucky day. ’ ‘ give me nothing. you’re the one i chose. ’ ‘ baby, the light stays longer when it rains. ain’t that a shame? ’ ‘ toast our mistakes. ’ ‘ i hate to say i spent it all on masquerades. ’ ‘ i’d forgotten how it goes. ’ ‘ take a seat while i trample out the days. ’ ‘ your eyes grow cold into the night, babe. you start to fade. ’ ‘ you had your reasons, but i’m telling you that seasons always change. ’ ‘ watch me waving as i go. ’ ‘ bury my heart at the rodeo. ’

BLUSH

‘ i still think of calling. ’ ‘ you met me alone in the city. ’ ‘ my dad liked to run. ’ ‘ i couldn’t picture your face, but i knew it was pretty. ’ ‘ i saw love in your eyes, but i didn’t know how to begin. ’ ‘ baby, some of us, we ain’t meant to win. ’ ‘ come and find me, waiting on the street where we met. ’ ‘ i haven’t found the time to forget. ’ ‘ funny what we lose when we bet. ’ ‘ i was holding too tight. ’ ‘ i had a dream we were fine. maybe somehow we were, in between. ’ ‘ there’s something about men that i don’t understand: they’re always leaving wherever they’ve been. ’ ‘ i don’t know much about love. ’ ‘ i don’t know much about love. still, i give it a try now and then. ’ ‘ i guess it’s been long. ’ ‘ i haven’t gone back that much to your city. nothing compares to the night we were there. ’ ‘ it’s okay. i don’t want your pity. ’ ‘ i don’t want your pity, but spare me a thought if you’ve got any heart. ’ ‘ spare me a thought if you’ve got any heart. i know you had one, deep inside. ’ ‘ i don’t miss you that much, but baby, watching you blush... ’

HEXIE MOUNTAINS

‘ young man, fill yourself with dread. ’ ‘ come home. ’ ‘ come home to begin another end. ’ ‘ it doesn’t feel right to see you, friend. ’ ‘ wouldn’t it be nice if i could sleep in my own bed? ’ ‘ what happens when the well has dried? ’ ‘ i can’t find the words. ’ ‘ i guess it’s time to move on once again down the path less tread. ’ ‘ wouldn’t it be nice if i could let the dead stay dead? ’ ‘ take me far enough to say we’re gone. ’ ‘ i haven’t been out in so long. ’ ‘ i’m not saying i’m not scared. ’ ‘ wouldn’t it be nice if i could hold it off again? ’ ‘ wouldn’t it be swell if i could get things off my chest? ’ ‘ maybe you’d learn to live with what’s inside your head. ’

LET ME DROWN

‘ i’ve been finding it hard to be kind. ’ ‘ i’ve been out there, losing my mind. ’ ‘ i still keep on searching for what i can’t find. ’ ‘ let me drown. ’ ‘ there’s nothing left but the summer rain. ’ ‘ drag me ‘round ‘til i never complain. ’ ‘ suddenly, we’re writing out the same old lie. ’ ‘ baby, i can be the one you drown tonight. ’ ‘ i had the sun in my eyes. ’ ‘ we’re no worse off than the worst of them, it’s fine. ’ ‘ i never knew where home was. ’ ‘ i spent a lifetime alone. ’ ‘ we had it one time, but it’s gone now. ’ ‘ i know with pleasure comes pain; i figured we were the same. ’ ‘ as i get older, i get more afraid. ’ ‘ i can’t be kind since i lost my mind. ’ ‘ this town just ain’t big enough for the both of us now. ’

ANY TURN

' pack it in, pick it up. ' ' i'm crying all night. ' ' dreaming about the time—but you can't now, never mind. ' ' i'm gonna find any turn. ' ' something about a horse, and a man, and a cadillac. ' ' set them up in the motel room. ' ' baby, it's all come and go. ' ' i feel down tonight. ' ' yeah? where's home tonight? ' ' set it all on someone else's bill. ' ' boredom's gonna get you. '

CITY OF GOLD

‘ i used to find hope in the wreckage. ’ ‘ all i can feel is the feeling that we’ll never say hi if ever we pass. ’ ‘ you know all good things come to an end. ’ ‘ i’m too easy on giving out chances. ’ ‘ you might think that i’m strange,  but i come with a pain. ’ ‘ some folks think about their lovers, some folks think about their goals; i’ve been thinking lately about the way you’d speak to me. ’ ‘ i’ve been thinking lately about the way you’d speak to me. ’ ‘ i think it’s time i disappear. ’ ‘ i’m feeling old. ’ ‘ just sit with me, morning and nighttime. have me on your front porch. ’ ‘ i’ll be still. i’ll be quiet. ’ ‘ i never knew why it was so hard for me to be who you want. ’ ‘ i’ve thought about finding new lovers, thought about burning the past. ’ ‘ all that i want is a kind heart to haunt. ’ ‘ my shrink says it ain’t too much to ask. ’ ‘ i’ve been told you’re fine. ’

ALL I CAN SAY

‘ lay in bed, sleep the day away. ’ ‘ think of all the things we used to see. ’ ‘ i know this time tomorrow i gotta go. ’ ‘ love doesn’t live here anymore. ’ ‘ all i can say is goodbye. ’ ‘ i sit alone anyway, every night in your arms. ’ ‘ count the lights, think of what we had. ’ ‘ i’m headed back west. ’ ‘ drive ‘til we’ve got nothing left. ’ ‘ i’m scared to death. ’ ‘ i hate springtime anyhow. ’

[nomadicauthor287]

Magic AU

I created a whole ass magic system on the fly. @eyecandyeoz helped me finetune these headcanons. Also this features the Survivor trio

There are 3 ways that magic is acquired and boosted

Knowledge

Deals

Mana boost

Knowledge

By studying different magic types the user can increase the range of types of magic the user can use

If you understand how different types of magic work you, in turn, can use it

Mana

all things contain some amount of magical powers

the objects or food near leylines have higher magical properties

consuming the food with high mana it boosts internal mana levels for 6 hours

Another way to absorb mana is to keep the object with a high mana count on your person

Deals

This is the most high-risk technique for boosting and acquiring magic

In order to do this process, you need to pick a deity and bring an offering

There are many deities to choose from: angels, demons, gods, spirits, ghosts, etc.

Once you've chosen a deity you offer up an offering and then strike a deal

By striking a deal you've agreed to become an extension of the deity

Your magic now comes from that deity and are bound by contract

The contract is very strict

Depending on what is staked in the deal it also affects the strength of the magic

If something very important is staked in the deal then the magic is strong

Ex.) Necromancy in exchange for the soul- high-level magic

Ex.) Light magic in exchange for a cheeseburger- low-level magic

Familiars

Can store and use magic/mana

can range from creatures to objects

Ex.) Sentient pocket watch

Crosshair

Portal magic

can go literary anywhere but chooses to stay with the Empire

uses his portals to shoot anywhere

Made a deal with a space entity

Contract mark: the circle on his crosshair tattoo

When he uses his magic the circle glows red

He staked his life because he wanted to be strong and dramatic

Omega

Bubble/gum

can steal mana

make explosions from the stored mana in the bubble

Either use bubblegum or soap bubbles or glass bubbles

Can store mana in bubble-like objects

made a deal with a goddess of healing

Contract mark- ring around her thumb and pointer finger

By dipping her mark in the bubble liquid and creating a bubble the mark glows white

Staked her agility

Wrecker

Fire and explosive magic

can create fire and explosives from his fists

siphons heat from objects of from peppers

can control explosions if he understands how it was created

Mainly uses his fire for cooking which boosts mana levels for 6 hours

Always on the lookout for high-level mana ingredients

Struck a deal with a fire sprite

Contract mark: scars on his hands and forearms

When he uses his magic his scarred eye glows orange with his fists

Tech

uses runes, knowledge, and alchemy

he uses runes/spell cards to fight mainly like Yu-Gi-Oh or Pokemon

Makes potion capsules for mana boosts or containing different magic

It's like ninja smoke bombs

When they visit a village or city Tech will wander off to go trade rune cards

Ditches the others to go to collectors gatherings

Struck a deal with a god of knowledge and a god of strategy

In exchange for his sight and his majestic hair

This is why his vision is shit and his hair makes him look like he's 50 years old

Contract mark: intricate tattoos on his forearms

When he uses his magic his glasses glare up and the wind blows his long robes around dramatically with a green glow around him

Echo

uses elemental magic/controls the elements around him

uses magic to create prosthetic limbs

the strongest out of the entire batch magic wise

When Rex finds Echo again he makes a deal with a demon to save him

Rex trades his ability to be surprised and Echo's fucks to give

As soon as he wakes up he uses his magic to get his melanin back

He's kinda like a bard

Go in punching, ask questions later

10/10 has and will screw a dragon

The demon who saved Echo said there was a drawback to his magic

Echo has to use 20 sided dice to keep his magic in check

That led to him making his decisions based on a dice roll

If he gets a bad roll he just bodyslams the obstacle

keeps a wide array of elements on his person at all times

Uses beskar with a high mana level for his leg prosthetics

Contract mark- scars on his amputated appendages

depending on the element his aura is that color.

Hunter

Animal instinct

his senses are enhanced

his senses and strength are enhanced depending on the animal he decides to mimic

usually uses predators to mimic

while mimicking an animal their diet becomes his

there are times when he turns feral

he made a deal with a god of animals

gave up some of his common sense

Contract mark: his skeleton tattoo on his chest

When he uses his magic the animal he chooses is what his aura is shaped as

Rex

he struck a deal with a god of patience

The god gave him everlasting peace with a side of dealing with Banthashit

he saves all the spite for later when he bitch slaps sense into the others

According to @eyecandyeoz he reserves the strongest bitch slap for the biggest dumbass Anakin, Fives, and Hardcase

He traded his natural hair color for this power

Fun fact of the day: stress can turn your hair white

Contract mark: his hands glow red along with his eyes

Wolffe

After his fight with Asajj Ventress he was left in the snow

A pack of wolves find him and offer him a deal

They would heal him

In exchange at every full moon Wolffe would join a the pack as a wolf

Contract mark: his scarred eye glows

His powers turn him into a wolf at will

Gregor

This guy made a deal with the bouncey ball that belonged to a hyena

he did this when he got drunk and wandered into a zoo

the ball gave him the power to bounce back from anything within reason

Contract mark: ass tattoo of the pixar bouncey ball

Lore

Before the fall of the Republic only the Jedi held the secrets to magic. The Jedi claimed they were the gatekeepers of magic. They taught their students by intense studying and meditation. It was thought that suppressing emotions would make their magic stronger but it wasn't true for most.

Most people knew about the jedi and thought they were myths. But they were feared by parents because they took their children away claiming that they were made for a higher purpose. If not the jedi then the other practioners of magic would sweep the children away, the Sith. The Sith mainly used the deals side of magic in order to become stronger than their light-sided counterparts. But that all came to an end with the rise of a so called "savior" and a war fought with slaves.

The savior was corrupted by the darkest wizard of them all, Sheev Palpatine. With his corruption came the end of a war and a new era dawned on the worlds.

@itsjml @dreamy-day-daze @agentmarymargaretskitz @kratosfan6632466 @eyecandyeoz @echoy-naak @zaffrefox @soundwavetherav

[paunchsalazar]

hey!! i loved your hoo playlist! can you explain more or less where which book begins and ends? or just your thought process behind picking the songs?

omg hi!! this is going to be really long I’m so sorry... I vaguely broke them up by book and sorta character/event/theme, it’s not super strict or anything but that was the logic!

I kinda imagine it playing out like a movie or tv series.. and so some of these kinda play over a scene or transition to the credits in my head? some more than others! otherwise it’s like punny titles or just songs that remind of plot points!

Lost Hero

- Goodbye Stranger - for Jason, since he has no idea what’s going on lol

- Teenage Dream - for the three of them, but mostly Piper!

You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

- Parachute - kinda Jason and Piper, I think as she realizes their relationship isn’t quite what it seems? (and just playing with his flying lol!)

- Metal Guru - Leo! 

- Pretty Girl - Piper, I was imagining this when she clashes with Drew/learns about the Aphrodite cabin

And I could be a pretty girl Shut up when you want me to And I could be a pretty girl Won't ever make you blue And I could be a pretty girl I'll lose myself in you

- The Sky’s The Limit - when the three of them take off on Festus

- Snowqueen Of Texas - this was for Khione lol

I'm on my knees, your majesty; Snowqueen, save a cold kiss for me I'm on my knees your majesty

- Sweet Talkin’ Woman - this is book-wide but it’s for Piper’s charmspeak!

- Are You Gonna Be My Girl - is sorta general but I was imagining it when Jason and Piper kinda decide to be together/give it another go

- It’s Not Unusual - I think this was sorta the entire book/wider series but I just think it’s cute and fun and a Guardians of the Galaxy type end credits song? And just them accepting their very bizarre situation 

Son of Neptune + Mark of Athena

I put these together because there wasn’t really a set bookend in my head!

- Hello Stranger - finally reuniting with Percy! (and I wanted the Percy and Jason songs to mirror each other)

Hello stranger (Ooh) It seems so good to see you back again How long has it been? (Ooh it seems like a mighty long time)

- Diamonds - Hazel 

- Don’t Go Breaking My Heart - Frank trusting Hazel with the wood, also Percy + Annabeth, everyone really

Don't go breaking my heart You take the weight off of me Oh, honey when you knock on my door Ooh, I gave you my key

- Beautiful Soul - I literally don’t know why I added this I just wanted an excuse to add a Jesse McCartney song (which feels so tonally correct to me?) but also I think it’s Frank liking Hazel in spite of her big secret and Percy loving Annabeth

- Pocketful of Rainbows - encountering Iris!

I don't worry Whenever skies are gray above Got a pocketful of rainbows Got a heart full of love

- Am I The Same Girl - Annabeth’s POV upon reunion!

Why don´t you stop And look me over Am I the same girl you used to know?

Why don´t you stop And think it over Am I the same girl who knew your soul?

- Bizarre Love Triangle - Frank, Hazel, and Leo

- Treasure - Hazel again + the literal treasure?

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling (you should be smiling) A girl like you should never look so blue (blue) You're everything I see in my dreams I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true

- The Sweet Escape - off on the Argo II

- Okay Okay - to Italy! and I just think Italian disco is so fun

- On An Evening in Roma - walking around Rome, seeing all its history

Though there's grinning and mandolining in sunny Italy The beginning has just begun when the sun goes down So please meet me in the plaza near your casa I am only one and that is one too few On an evening in Roma Don't know what the country's coming to But in Rome do as the Romans do Will you on an evening in Roma

- Stuck on the puzzle - Annabeth + the Mark of Athena

- Coca Cola - I was imagining the pirates+sacrifice to Dionysus/ his appearance

- Edge of Seventeen - I think Annabeth remarks to herself something like am I really going to die at 17? so this is for her and all the kids just on the cusp of being 17

And the days go by, like a strand in the wind In the web that is my own, I begin again Said to my friend, baby (everything stopped) Nothin' else mattered

- Landslide - when everything goes wrong and they start falling to Tartarus

Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older And I'm getting older too

House of Hades + Blood of Olympus

these are more thematic I think? but a few moments in particular

- Head Over Heels - falling down... 

I made a fire, and watching it burn Thought of your future With one foot in the past, now just how long will it last?

Something happens and I'm head over heels I never find out until I'm head over heels Something happens and I'm head over heels Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart Don't, don't, don't throw it away

- You and Me - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus

If the stars don't shine If the moon won't rise If I never see the setting sun again You won't hear me cry as I testify Please believe me boy you know I would I lie As long as there is you and me

- Don’t Worry Baby - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, on the shore of the river

Well it's been building up inside of me For oh I don't know how long I don't know why But I keep thinking Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes And makes me realize And she says "don't worry, baby"

- It’s Only A Paper Moon - the mist and Hazel starting to understand it

You smile, the bubble has a rainbow in it Say, it's only a paper moon Sailing over a cardboard sea But it wouldn't be make-believe If you believed in me

- Money, Money, Money - Hazel + Pluto

Money, money, money Must be funny In the rich man's world

- Magic - the whole story, but particularly with the presence of Hecate 

- Summer Wind - Jason harnessing the winds!

The summer wind came blowin' in from across the sea It lingered there, to touch your hair and walk with me All summer long we sang a song and then we strolled that golden sand Two sweethearts and the summer wind

- Mala Femmina - the return of Khione

- Would You? - Leo and Calypso

Well, you know she took my hand And we walked away And I can't understand why she would stay Would you like to fall in love with me?

-  Love is Like a Fire - Leo and also Frank 

- Don’t Wanna Fight - Percy and Annabeth

Take from my hand Put in your hands The fruit of all my grief Lying down ain't easy When everyone is pleasing I can't get no relief Living ain't no fun The constant dedication Keeping the water and power on There ain't nobody left Why can't I catch my breath? I'm gonna work myself to death

- Love Really Hurts With You - Leo after leaving Calypso’s island

- What Makes the Sunset - Percy and Annabeth (and by extension Bob and Damasen)

What makes the sunset? What makes the moonrise? What makes the tide remember to hide and why does it soon rise? What makes a star fall? Where does it fall to? Why does its flight make us stop in the night and wish as we all do?

- Dedicated to the One I Love - everybody, but an ode to Bob and Damasen (their goodbye made me cry!)

While I'm far away from you my baby I know it's hard for you my baby Because it's hard for me my baby And the darkest hour is just before dawn

Each night before you go to bed my baby Whisper a little prayer for me my baby And tell all the stars above This is dedicated to the one I love

- Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want - Percy and Annabeth in Tartarus, I was thinking about this post-curses and them being so done with everything

Good times for a change See, the luck I've had Can make a good man Turn bad

So please, please, please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time

- Lonely Boy - Nico 

- Fantasy - indulging all their visions... the mist, etc. 

- Stupid Cupid - Nico and Cupid (of course)

Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy (stupid Cupid) I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly (stupid Cupid) I'm in love and it's a crying shame (stupid Cupid) And I know that you're the one to blame (stupid Cupid)

Hey hey, set me free Stupid Cupid stop picking on me

- Suzanne - still Nico, looking over at the couple (sorry... all the mopey songs)

- Dream A Little Dream of Me - dreams... also Percy’s wishes of the future

Stars shining bright above you Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you" Birds singing in the sycamore tree Dream a little dream of me

- Our Day Will Come - I think Annabeth says a line almost like this? somewhere at the end of HOH, I think when they’ve just gotten out of Tartarus and are all sitting together, like haven’t they had enough? won’t their day finally come?

Our day will come If we just wait a while No tears for us Think love and wear a smile Our dreams have magic because We'll always stay In love this way

- Call Me - all of them! also Nico and Reyna, just being there for each other

Tell me and I'll be around Now don't forget me 'cause if you let me I will always stay by you You've got to trust me, that's how it must be

- Nobody - Nico... oh buddy 

Venus, planet of love Was destroyed by global warming Did its people want too much too? Did its people want too much?

And I don't want your pity I just want somebody near me Guess I'm a coward I just want to feel alright

- I’m a Believer - Jason and Piper

I thought love was only true in fairy tales Meant for someone else but not for me Love was out to get me That's the way it seemed Disappointment haunted all my dreams Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer Not a trace of doubt in my mind

- Summertime - Piper singing and it being the end of summer

- Happy Trails - more singing ( I want to include the songs actually mentioned!)

- The End of the World - the big battle!!

Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more

- Too Late To Turn Back Now - departing with Festus (I think Leo almost says this too!)

- Here Comes The Sun - day comes, the Athena Parthenos is back

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here

- Walking On Sunshine - Will Solace

- Evil Woman - Gaea fight

Evil woman, how you done me wrong But now you're tryin' to wail a different song Ha, ha, funny, how you broke me up You made the wine, now you drink a cup I came runnin' every time you cried Thought I saw love smilin' in your eyes Ha, ha, very nice to know That you ain't got no place left to go

- Seven Wonders - the seven! also traveling the world... making it this far

If I live to see the seven wonders I'll make a path to the rainbow's end I'll never live to match the beauty again The rainbow's edge

- This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - to me this is just after Annabeth and Percy’s kiss, shots of everyone back to camp, wides of people running around, new cabins under construction, the sun is shining, the camera pulls out 

Loving you is some kind of wonderful Because you showed me just how much you care You've given me the thrill of a lifetime And made me believe you've got more thrills to spare, oh!

- Love Makes the World Go Round - like the end credits! last pov with Piper, love makes it all happen

Without love flowers wouldn't grow in the spring And without spring, yeah the birdies just couldnt sing Everybody needs love to watch the twinkling stars above It makes a boy and girl, Say they feel so fine, now

[rochey1010]

Hi guys, 👋 i just wanted to make a post about something that i feel is about to happen on the show, like i am completely convinced of this now.

I'm seeing major foreshadowing going on with Elu and what will be the outcome of the spoiler movie plot.

Ok, so something i've noticed with Eliott this season is that he's kinda in his own world. Yes i know they are showing his individualism and i'm happy to see that because i think he's a beautiful and complex character and deserves so much insight.

But certain things i've noticed in scenes and certain things i've heard Eliott say is starting to make me think we are heading for Eliott having his own rock bottom moment. I'm just gonna list some things that seem to connect for me.

• The hiding and lying really been highlighted with Eliott's arc. The almost casual way too. Like it's a habit and second nature. He's done it so much in my eyes to hide his true self that it's basically become a mask now. How he justifies these things to others and how oblivious he really is to how others see it too. How outside perspective is different from Eliott perspective e g. Lola calling him out with the urbex hiding, Lucas's anger when he was blindsided with Lola being in their home.

•For the first time ever with Lucas we see him at Daphne's party monitoring himself in regards to Eliott's mental illness. He's not monitoring Eliott and i have a theory on that. Lucas is so afraid of being a Lucille that he's passive with things that may be seen as controlling. So instead he tries to be cautious and make the situation about it being Lucas's choice and not a choice made for Eliott. I don't think it's an accident at all that Arthur walks up to Lucas and Eliott and wants to share a joint and Lucas who is cuddling Eliott and playing with his hair brushes Arthur off without saying what the audience is picking up on. For the first time ever we see Eliott chafe under this and we are aware that Eliott knows what Lucas is doing. Eliott tells him in an almost biting the tongue way to go and it's ok. And Lucas says these very telling words "Can i?" And Eliott says "yes Lucas" Lucas then happy kisses Eliott on the cheek and goes off with Arthur.

• The argument Lola wakes up to where we see that Eliott impulsive, forgot to let Lucas know what he was coming home to. Now i must say i don't blame Eliott for not doing this as the night was intense. And he'd just saved a girl from attempted rape and was prob up for hours with her and got very little sleep himself. But i also see Lucas's point too. Lucas is passionate. It's not out of character. It is part of who Lucas is. That is why he is a hedgehog. He is simply prickly and reactive. We have seen this throughout the show. He initially acts in a defensive way (hedgehog quills) and then he calms and deals. But again we see Lucas thrown off guard with Eliott and his impulsivity. So they are yelling and then Lucas says "she has problems" and Eliott tells him he has problems too, and Eliott acts offended that Lucas is being judgmental. And again it's a trait with Lucas too, and highlights again the group dynamics and the reaction to outsiders. Lucas accepts Eliott's illness but found it hard to accept his mothers. His love for Eliott changed his perceptive though as we see in S3. Lucas still shows that he has prejudices. He has made comments that are ignorant and unfair throughout the show e.g. mental illness, LGBTQ+, ableism with Arthur, Panphobia stereotypes etc. He just did it again with Lola. Like i said before, i play no favourites i see these characters as complex and when they're messy or flawed they are more interesting to me. So i have no issues when they F up. They're young, insecure, and it feels true to life. But yeah i notice with Lucas (again highlighting insulation in the group v isolation in outsiders) that Lucas has a moral view. If i care and love you i will accept you warts and all. If you are unknown and alien my quills are ready to go. And this is a direct contrast to Eliott who comes in and spreads his arms ready to hug the world. Even adopts furry animals. 😍

Then again something is said that shows how Lucas views his position with Eliott and his mental health. Eliott gives a hypothetical and says to lucas if he were in trouble Lucas would want him to be helped and safe, and Lucas says back. Yeah, but Lucas himself should be that person that should handle it. Now i don't blame Lucas. He loves Eliott so much and he wants him safe but i got subtle control out of that comment and an implication that Eliott can't handle himself. And we see the direct contrast the night before when Eliott, who the last time we saw in that hoodie with the hood raised, he was at his worst and crying in La Petite Ceinture needing rescue. But now he's the one that finds his power and rescues someone else. That he is capable, individual and has 2 feet.

•The mental illness talk with Lola and us learning more of Eliott's past. I loved this because we again see Eliott speak for himself. We get the much begged for past history of Eliott and his struggles. And he gets to impart wisdom and help someone else. That there is power in this friendship with Lola. For Eliott he not only sees the mistakes of his past he can rectify but he can be strong and guide someone out of the darkness he once found himself in. I find that incredibly beautiful and amazing character insight. But again it highlights how oblivious Eliott is to his actions on the one he loves most. His Lucas. Like i could write a huge ass post on Eliott alone and why he does the things he does, but i may get kicked off the tag if i do. 😄 but 2 words come to mind with Eliott and his love with Lucas.

FEAR: The fear of the past repeating and control happening AND the fear of being real and true because it's too much and you are a burden. And it all being rooted in his mental illness.

"i don't know how to control it and it is killing me"

Eliott tells Lola that his bipolar episodes can be quite violent. That there are funny ones (choc labrador thievery) and very sad ones (3 time attempt to take your life) like i knew his past was dark. (anyone that creates a refuge to release in and cry like you're still hiding, even from yourself and uses that as a coping mechanism?) Something horrible must have happened for you to resort to that.

And i've always maintained that Eliott is one of the darkest Even's, and France have not romanticised the portrayal of his mental illness in any way shape or form. He has snapped at lucas during his crash , had episodes where lucas can only watch him helplessly and love him regardless, his insta journal has been quite heartbreaking with his mental/emotional state, he sometimes won't take his meds, he'll hide his bipolar out of fear and run, he has his personal refuge, he's tried to take his life, he needs to get away and breathe, and he still has suicide thoughts even though he has Lucas. You have got to applaud the show with how they've handled Eliott and his illness. It's very real, and you may love someone immensely but depression doesn't care what they mean to you. They will be by your side but they can't fix you and love your mind to better health. You're still gonna have negative thoughts, you're still gonna slip and regress but having the one you love hold your hand makes it easier to navigate those scary moments. 👏

But through this something dawned on me. Eliott is sabotaging his relationship in his pursuit not to. And i gotta say i find that so sad. He's creating this love bubble, actually they both are, and nothing can penetrate the love bubble. That means fears and insecurities stay outside. He's lying and hiding to protect himself, protect Lucas from himself and keep Lucas from leaving him. Lucas is too but that essay is for another time. 😄 and he says to Lola that to love someone is to accept them even with their flaws. But he's lying to Lola too because he won't let Lucas see his flaws because it means Lucas leaves. 😭 we saw Eliott once open up to Lucas in S3 Lundi and the way Maxence played that scene was beautiful, because you see just how heavy being mentally ill is on Eliott. That he believes he'll just ruin everything around him

"things will change, i don't want them to but they will and it'll be because of me"

He can't keep eye contact with Lucas and his entire demeanour is one of wobbly defeat. You have never seen Eliott more vulnerable in this moment. His shame, embarassment, and self loathing is oozing out of his pores. He doesn't even want Lucas to have to deal with it, and his expectation is that the relationship ends here. And to add to that, he shows just how much he loves Lucas by saying how he can't bear to see him hurt or in any kind of pain. Lucas fights for them and Eliott has hope. But we realise that things don't just change overnight, days, months etc. Eliott still has demons inside him that tell him hurtful and toxic things that all people who suffer with mental illness go through. And when Lucas tells him he loves him there's still a voice in Eliott that says " for how long" and "you won't when you see who i am" i'm not exaggerating here. I deal with mental illness and it destroys your self worth. It is a daily fight and you kinda can see yourself as an alien in the world. It really has the power to twist your perception of the world in the ugliest way. FYI and TMI but when i had a severe anxiety episode that had crept up over years of denial and added to a huge life stressor. It lasted weeks before i accepted i needed help. I used to do what Eliott would do, and when it was too much i would up and leave, go to a nearby park and sit on the bench alone and sad. One time i looked up at the clouds and instead of seeing the beauty of nature, i saw mockery. I actually saw clouds laughing at me. 😄 no it wasn't delusions. It was simply a twisted perception of the world where there was self loathing, failure, and the feeling of powerlessness. I don't know why i included this, sorry for the discomfort. ☺️

But back to Eliott. Lola asks if things will be ok with him and Lucas. Eliott is like yeah and just throws out:

"He's worried about me, i have bipolar disorder, do you know what that is?"

Anyone else pick up on the emphasis Eliott does there in his relationship with Lucas. Brings it back to the mental illness and the oblivious nature of other things, like miss-communication and hiding things. Like Eliott's world in this relationship is "I have bipolar disorder" like that's a huge focus for Eliott.

Then they are comparing loves. Eliott telling Lola that "And i have Lucas, I can't lose this" we are actually hearing this from his mouth, and again, the reinforcement of the root of Eliott's insecurities. I can't lose Lucas. He has made my life better and makes the bad stuff not so overwhelming and scary AKA i'm afraid he will leave. So i will use my power to stop that from happening. She's sad and tells Eliott she had a Lucas (Maya) but lost her. Eliott tells her to find her Lucas and if she loves her she'll accept her. Which is obviously going to happen with Maya and Lola. She'll tell her the past which is connected to Lola's addict issues. And like Lucas, Maya's love for Lola will help her to overcome her pain and move forward, and Lola to find her light and not be so scared of her darkness.

• Every single time Eliott is asked by someone about him keeping things from Lucas. His answer is the obsessive "i want to protect him and i don't want to stress him or worry him" We saw it with Imane in S4 and we saw it with Lola recently. We add on the inner insecurities with "It'll be too much and he won't stay" and here's Eliott folks. 😔 We know he has an arc this season. Max said Eliott has a beautiful emotional journey, and that he helps the main with his past.

But one thing that every person who goes through emotional turmoil AKA Skam season main journey. It's called the moment that is the wake up call for the character. The moment that you are at your lowest and you must face yourself. Eliott can't be main as he's blocked but we are seeing that he has a lot of focus. So far he's in the show a lot and very active too.

We know that Elu's seasons long issues are being addressed finally. We know that Eliott himself will be addressed. What's one thing that has remained the same in Eliott and Lucas's love? The hiding things from Eliott and Lucas forgiving him AKA Lucas has never left. What's one thing that could be a very scary wakeup call for Eliott? Lucas leaving.

Now i don't think those scenes are throwaway at all, and i don't think the dialogue is either. They've slowly set this arc up since S5 for Eliott and the relationship with Lucas. Little stressors that just watching S5 you play off but now paired with S6 become very serious. I've mentioned some of them in other posts. We know the spoiler movie is coming. We know how lucas reacts to Eliott being honest and we can almost say how Eliott reacts = impulsivity and rebellion.

But the fallout? And i do think the story is going there guys. Which i'm fine with tbh, along with the conflict and the relationship. Saying it's just drama or out of the blue would be a humongous lie. This has been building for seasons and it is incredibly consistent with the relationship and the characters. Now i'd agree with fans if Eliott and Lucas were eternally blissful and then suddenly boom issues. But that hasn't happened at all. It's been tiny little stressors building up to the eventual crack, or my analogy = the bubble eventually pops.

So the movie happens, and for Lucas it's the straw that breaks the camel's back. His breaking point for him to end the relationship or leave Eliott. And it's Eliott's breaking point. We have his words, we didn't need them, let's be real, but we have them. He needs Lucas and everyone knows how much he loves him. Like that is not even debatable. Eliott is deeply in love with his hedgehog. But it's the wake up call to the relationship, and it's the wakeup call to Eliott. He can't continue this self sabotage and he has to face everything. But guys, Eliott really emphasised his need for Lucas. That ultimately tells me he's put his mental health on this need too. I think Eliott is going to be triggered and spiral. Like i'm sure of it now. And i think that is when S3 main Lucas will have his talk with S6 main Lola. I think she's gonna bring them back together. And i think that's what Flavie meant in her live "she helps him too"

I just wanna say i'm not gonna be in the tag saying Eliott or Lucas is a villain. I think it's sad when stress happens we pit the characters against each other. I wish the fanbase could be compassionate and empathetic. And you may not agree with what a character does but you accept that these characters are not black and white and they make mistakes, mess up and do stupid shit. It's the journey that we all go on and as other fans have said, growth is not linear.

Finally, god these posts are getting longer. I've lurked for so long and now my thoughts are just piling up. 😄 but yeah, i noticed some fans say that this Lucas and Eliott stuff should be over, they're together a year so should have dealt with their issues. Like i just have to say to that what?? Like relationship issues happen. You don't just fix them and bam happily ever after. The same issues can crop up throughout a relationship, because you are not just dealing with you as a unit but you are dealing with you as an individual too. You have the baggage the relationship causes and your carry on's that you yourself bring to the relationship. Your own personal issues and insecurities can continue to crop up causing problems.

Stressors can expose cracks, and that is what is happening. Denying and placing to the side issues like you'll deal with them later but you never do because you're afraid of the response thinking The relationship fails or you lose each other. Like think of anxiety. It's the ultimate result of not dealing with life issues. They build and build throughout life untill they become a disorder. These 2 haven't dealt with them untill now, and that's why they are coming to a head finally. And from a show perspective the format really limits them. Focusing on one main can't explore others and their issues, because the main has to be there. The only way you can do that is breaking format and Skam is quite strict with their narrative. What's happening with Eliott is a case of 'this is the best we can do' he's blocked but they want to give this beloved character the insight the fanbase has been begging for. They don't usually do this. Usually it's the main and his/her ensemble but this time it's the main + 2 part mains in Daphne and Eliott. The ensemble is background this season. And Eliott has an arc since S3 so of course they are going to bring these seasons built relationship issues to the surface and address them. They are wrapping up the old generation and handing over to new now. All these threads are being dealt with.

So what i said about stressors exposing cracks. Well here's a stressor? moving in together. Before Eliott lived alone, with his parents checking in frequently (prob his bipolar disorder) but he could breathe and be, and hide and be alone whenever he wanted. Now he's living with Lucas. And they love each other but there are teething problems. We saw them laid beautifully in S5, and being together only a year is really nothing. Most of that would be a honeymoon period, let's be honest here. And they have such an intense and emotional love. Like they are young (17/18 and 19/20) and have found the life partner they want. Just think about that, and the issues of that responsibility as well. In reality you don't find your life partner at that age. You really don't.

And people mess up. They make mistakes and they grow but it's not a full stop there. You make other mistakes and you mess up. And environmental triggers can happen that can make more mistakes happen, and can even make you regress. You fight in life. You don't sail through it. Does anybody? So yeah, oh sweet the lovebirds moved in together but moving in together has also highlighted issues not dealt with. Couples face tests. And importantly that "minute par minute" scene is now being seen in action. That means the bad times as well as the good. This relationship started in so much fear for both and i'm sorry that level of fear doesn't just poof away. We are seeing that.

Now i'm done. I really don't blame anyone if they don't read this. Even i'm ashamed at the length. But will i still post it? Yep 😄💜

[b-lessings]

Salaam Alaykum, hope you’re good? I’m mentally low. Everyone around me seems to be advancing and progressing with their careers. Mine feels stagnant, I do creative work so I’ve spent more money than I’ve made this year and it hurts. I hate to compare and I try to remember shukr but it’s hard. It feels like Allah gives me the rejection in multiples and it just feels so painful. Just when I think I can come up for air, I get pressed into the ocean of rejection and frustration, I didn’t mean to vent, I’m just tired of everything

Wa alaykum assalamu wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu :)

Sübhanallah, that's one heavy ask.

First of all I'd like to say that I get it, I understand you, I feel for you and I am sorry this is happening, I am sorry this is how you feel.

However, I feel like you are so focused on the 'rejection' and you feel that bad things are purposefully happening to you, which I assure you is not the case. Yes, sometimes we go thru phases in our lives where nothing seems to be working our way and we feel stuck in a dark place, but always remember this phrase: “the darkest hour is just before the dawn” means that there is always a ray of hope even in the worst situations, or circumstances. That's for one. And for two, I want you to see with a wider perspective. The pandemic hit the world so hard. Thousands if not millions of people lost their jobs? (And we are not taking into consideration the ones who lost their lives or their loved ones) but what I am saying here is, I don't want you to think that you are the only one that this is happening to, you are the only one going thru a rough patch or that you are personally targeted. Because that's the vibe I got from your ask, and it's not healthy to think that way. - But I understand the frustration, I promise.

Moving on, there is a thousand stories of prophets and sahaba and good people who kept being tested by Allah swt, our islamic heritage is full of these stories and lessons and I am sure you already know them, but you could be sick of hearing about it at some point. I understand that too, that is why I won't mention them in details, I just want to say a few words: Allah swt is Ar-Razzaq. He is the provider. Whatever we get is from Him swt, money, work, health, wealth, etc. It's all rizq and it is all from Allah swt. - And what is with Allah swt, we won't obtain it only through one way: obedience/worship. So I have a question for you, how is your relationship with Allah swt? Do you pray your daily five on time? How often do you read your Quran? Do you give sadaqah? .. Allah swt says in the Quran :

وَمَا كَانَ اللَّهُ مُعَذِّبَهُمْ وَهُمْ يَسْتَغْفِرُونَ

nor will He punish them while they seek forgiveness. [8:33]

So if you feel that you are drowning in a sea of 'rejection' and punishment maybe? Try incorporating Istighfar into your day. May Allah swt accept from you, from us, and forgive our sins, ameen.

And always remember, Allah swt is the most merciful, the most graceful, He wouldn't have decreed anything bad upon us unless there is good in it. We are just incapable of see it with our limited human capacities. Most probably, Allah swt is saving you from a bigger evil that you can't see, but He swt is the best of the planners, and He has designed the plan of your life better than you can ever imagine it, so have good positive faith in Allah swt, and be a little patient. Rely on Him swt, and in shaa Allah before you know it, things will take a good turn.

May Allah swt grant you the strength and patience to keep going. May Allah swt grant you Hikmah (wisdom) to see the point out of all of this. May Allah swt ease your affairs and hasten your relief, ameen.

Stay safe. :)

[ifyouvegotthemoneyhoney]

Sunset Love ch. 8: The hour before dawn

AN: Here’s the next part in my Slaxl fic. Hope you like it! If you do, please Reblog, share, Like, etc. xx

***

Slash sucked deeply on the reefer someone had passed him, leaned back his head and blew up a long, slow stream of aromatic smoke at the sky. 

It was sometime in the darkest part of the night, before dawn. His head swirled as he surveyed the blackness above. The noise in the lot outside their rehearsal space off Sunset and Gardner - music from a ghetto blaster, voices, laughter, bottles breaking, cans crunching, grunts from people fucking - was all around him, but he felt remote from it, disconnected.

A dull pain rumbled somewhere in his gut. He couldn't identify it ... He closed his eyes. Oh yes. He remembered. He had fucked some chick and Axl was giving him the silent treatment. In fact, he hadn't seen him since they left the Whisky.

Rage swelled in Slash's throat. He had known this ... thing... between him and Axl was a bad idea. He shook his head. He had been drunk, high, lonely, let his guard down... whatever. And now look where they were: Axl breaking his balls, acting like a fucking teenage girl. 

He shoved the reefer into someone's hand and pushed his way through the crowd in the lot, looking around him. He was going to have it out with that motherfucker once and for all.

He searched all over the lot and the alley. No sign. Slash elbowed his way past some people and pushed through the half-open door to their rehearsal space. He heard a female voice moaning and looked up to the loft. In the half-light cast by a lamp on the floor, he made out Axl, his face buried in some girl's breasts, his ass humping energetically between her thighs. 

Slash stood, frozen, for a second. Axl must have heard him come in because he lifted his head. When he saw it was Slash, an expression crossed his face... what was it? Through the haze in his head, Slash realised it was... vengeful.

Slash stumbled out the door. Appalled, he felt tears pricking behind his eyeballs. What the fuck? He wasn't seriously upset? 

He went and stood at end of the alley where it opened into Gardner Street, the party roaring  behind him. He pulled a crumpled pack of Marlboros out of his back pocket, lit up with shaking hands, inhaled and closed his eyes. 

Footsteps on the ground behind him. A rough hand at his shoulder, pulling him around.

They stood facing each other. Slash sucked coolly on his cigarette. Its brief glow highlighted  Axl's face, his lips pressed together in a snarl. No fucking way am I saying anything, thought Slash. Let's see if the amazing lyricist has the balls to talk first.

Slash couldn't help smirking when Axl opened his mouth.

"Your little performance in the Whisky didn't mean shit to me, asshole."

Slash couldn't help having a little fun. He widened his eyes. 

"You didn't like my playing?"

Axl's eyes narrowed and Slash saw the muscles in his jaw tighten.

"Funny. Making eyes at that chick all night. Making sure everyone saw you going into the restrooms with her. Acting like the big fucking stud coming back out." 

Axl shoved his hands into the back pockets of his leather trousers. He was clearly trying hard to be cool but his chest was heaving.

Slash frowned.

"Are you kidding, man? That chick gave me the eye first, not the other way around. And I don't give a fuck who did or didn't see." 

Slash exhaled his last drag and ground the cigarette under his toe. He steeled himself. He was going to say it.

"What the fuck do you care, anyway? We fuck chicks, that's what we do, what we've always done. I did it tonight, you did it tonight. Who gives a fuck?"

Axl was looking at his own toes now. He rubbed a hand over his mouth and turned away. 

Slash turned away too and looked down Gardner at the intersection with Sunset Boulevard. A solitary car sped through, going west, and disappeared into the night. The low, ever-present, night-time hum resumed. There were hours to go yet before the day's din began. 

His head ached. A familiar emptiness was gnawing at the edges of his consciousness. What was he doing with his life?

"Slash." 

That voice. That deep rumble. It made his goofy nickname sound like poetry.

"I -". 

An exhale, almost like a gasp. Slash looked around. Axl's back was still turned, he was still looking at the ground. Was he actually stuck for words?

"What?" snapped Slash, a harsh tone to his voice. He wasn't going to make it easy.

Another exasperated breath.

"I - I didn't like it." Another pause before Axl continued. "You and the chick in the Whisky. It - it made me pretty fucking pissed. Okay? You happy now?"

Slash felt warmth seep through his belly. Axl was jealous and... Slash realised he liked it.

Axl's arm was cold when Slash reached out and pulled him around as Axl had done to him minutes before. He folded the other man into his arms.

"Jesus fucking Christ," hissed Axl. Slash felt himself being pushed roughly up against the wall around the corner from the alley opening. 

"D'you want someone to see us?" Axl demanded, his face close to Slash's.

For a split second he thought Axl was about to beat the shit out of him. Then he felt the other man enveloping him in his arms and burying his face in Slash's neck. 

Slash slowly circled his arms around Axl's sinewy torso and stroked the back of Axl's head, equal mixtures of relief and arousal flooding through him.

"I'm fucking pissed at you, too," he said softly into Axl's hair.

He felt Axl's ribcage contort with a chuckle. 

"That girl there?" Axl's voice came muffled against the fabric on Slash's shoulder. "I totally did that to get back at you, man."

Slash held his friend tight, drinking in his scent, a sweet blend of sex, sweat, smoke, whisky, and something else, something undefinable that was just pure Axl. His head was swimming again, but not from weed this time. Axl had shown vulnerability. 

Slash felt Axl lift his head and slowly, cautiously, touch the tip of his nose to Slash's. That cute, adorable nose. Slash gently kissed it, the soft skin around it, then moved his lips down. Their mouths met hesitantly, almost carefully, as if they were mindful not to hurt each other again. The kiss deepened slowly as they held each other even more tightly, Axl's pillowy lips so incredibly soft and yielding, Slash drinking in the taste of him. Their tongues found each other and intertwined, harder now, searching inside each other's mouths more urgently, hands grasping in each other's hair. 

Axl pulled his mouth away, his breath coming hot and fast.

"I want you, Slash," he whispered, pushing his forehead against Slash's, eyes closed.

"I want you too," said Slash.

Without another word, they made for their door in the alley, heads down, not looking at anyone. A quick glance inside showed it was empty. Axl pulled the door shut after him and fumbled for his keychain in the dim lamplight. Slash heard the grind of the lock in the metal door.

Their bodies slammed together, hands everywhere, pushing off clothes, pulling at belt buckles. Slash yanked off Axl's pants, followed by his own. He had never felt such want; he wanted all of Axl, every part of him, now. Their mouths sucked at each other greedily, teeth pierced delicate lips, the taste of blood tinged Slash's tongue and it was good, so good. 

"Loft," panted Axl.