#dark side nao

[callsign-rogueone]

the last six years - b.s.

Brennan Sorrengail x reader Only one person has remained by Brennan’s side for the last six years, through the good and the bad. [requested] wc: 3.9k 🏷: SPOILERS FOR FOURTH WING AND IRON FLAME. fatal injury, blood, and multiple character deaths. basically every bad thing that has ever happened to Brennan will be in this series. I took some major creative liberties with this one and made a bunch of stuff up regarding Tyrrish culture, but we’re just gonna breeze right past that. more to come, because Brennan is just so husband material… mans had me giggling and kicking my feet every time he spoke.

“Tairn! We need Naolin!” You scream, praying that he is alive to hear you. “Bren, please, stay with me.”

His chest rises and falls slowly; he's still breathing. Breathing is good. “Y’need to get out of here.”

“No. I’m not leaving you. Eyes open, Bren, please,” you beg, pressing your hands deeper into the wound. “Tairn!”

“Thirty seconds out!” He yells back.

There’s not much you can do. To remove the arrow is a death sentence when you don’t have any medical supplies. It’s the only thing keeping the blood in his body, but even then it’s doing a shitty job; the warm crimson continues spilling out through your fingers, seemingly endless. 

“S’ gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Brennan soothes, feeling your panic.

“Bren, you need to stay awake. You can’t die. I can’t keep going without you.” Tears are pouring freely down your cheeks, dripping down onto the dark fabric of his flight jacket.

“You’re bleeding,” he mumbles, ignoring your pleas. He’s slipping away, fast, falling into the slow confusion that comes with a shortage of blood to the brain. “Let me mend you.”

“I’ll worry about myself later. Right now we need to keep you alive.” 

Heavy bootsteps enter the room. “Holy shit,” Naolin breathes, at your side in an instant. He digs in his bag, producing sutures and gauze.

If you act quickly, and if by some miracle the arrowhead hasn’t pierced Brennan’s heart, you can keep him stable long enough to find another mender. You break the shaft of the arrow, Brennan whimpering in pain as it shifts within his chest. 

“I know, my love, I’m so sorry,” you soothe, wiping your palms on your pant legs and moving to cradle his head in your lap as Naolin takes over. You keep whispering reassurances to him, terrified that if you stop, it’ll sever the last thread holding him in this world. “You’re doing so good, Bren. Almost done, I promise.”

Naolin gives you a look that tells you no, he’s not almost done. 

Brennan’s grip on your hand loosens, and you scramble to grab his wrist, bloodied fingers trying to find a pulse -- to no avail. “No,” you cry, tears pouring down your cheeks, “Bren, please wake up, please.”

The slow thump beneath your fingertips stops. Brennan’s heart is no longer beating.

You sob, a desperate sound that splits the air of the ballroom, and Naolin makes his decision, grasping Brennan’s hand and yours. “The two of you need each other.” 

“Nao, you can’t-” you gasp at the rush of energy that rips through you, the pain in your broken ribs diminishing instantly. You feel like you’ve been given a shot of pure adrenaline.

Naolin stops breathing just as Brennan starts again, collapsing to the marble floor, and your lips part in shock.

“He is gone,” Tairn confirms, fighting to keep his voice even. “May your gods honor his sacrifice and reward him in the next life.”

“I’m so sorry.”

His eyes are closed. That comforts you in some tiny way, that he looks whole, uninjured, like he could just be sleeping, but you know that isn’t the case.

Brennan’s breaths are even, pulse steady. The wound looks days old now, the fresh blood coating the skin the only evidence that he had nearly died today. He’ll pull through, as long as you can get out of here.

You say a prayer to Malek on your friend’s behalf, casting one last glance at his unmoving body, and gather Brennan into your arms -- he’s still breathing, but limp, exhausted. You can carry him out of here, but where will you go?

A man bearing a crossbolt steps into the ballroom.

You make no movement toward your weapon, still holding Brennan’s body to your chest. “We surrender,” you rasp, praying he will take pity on a pair of bloodsoaked young lovers and their fallen comrade. 

He steps closer, not responding. 

The words escape you before you can think. The old language feels foreign on your tongue, misshapen from years of disuse. “I am a daughter of the house Lindell, and a citizen of Tyrrendor. I have sworn an oath to-”

“I know who you are, Lady,” he says. “Come with me.”

He stops in front of an abandoned farmhouse, painted gold in the sunset. “Bathe, sleep. I’ll be back when I can.”

You remain by Brennan’s side. You stitch up his wounds, wash the dried blood from his skin, count his heartbeats as he continues to sleep. 

Night comes, bringing freezing wind through the cracked windows, and you climb into the bed beside him, pulling the few blankets you’d found over the pair of you. He curls into your side, seeking warmth — his skin is still cold, but not as icy as it had been when you limped him over here.

When you wake the next morning, the man has not yet returned.

“Ban?” You ask quietly. You haven’t heard from the dragon since you’d dismounted over a day ago, but she must still live, as you do.

“Nearby, with Marbh,” she reassures. “Tairn has returned to Basgiath to be with his mate. It will take years for him to recover from this loss, but he will live on.”

You continue to stroke Brennan’s hair, taking solace in the steadiness of his breathing.

“Your devotion to the mender is the strongest I have seen from any human,” she says quietly. 

“He has become the air I breathe. It was unbearable when he…” you don’t even want to think the words. “I don’t know what I would have done, had Naolin not intervened.”

Brennan stirs, stretching in the cute way you’ve seen him do so many times after waking up, scrunching his face at the bright morning light streaming into the room. He takes you in, thanking the gods that the only injury you bear is a yellowing bruise on your cheek. A gentle hand cradles your face, and it vanishes.

“Naolin?” He asks quietly, and something tells you he already knows deep down.

You shake your head, your eyes brimming with tears. “He gave his life to save you.” 

He looses a shuddering breath, and you gather him into your arms, crying together.

You attempt to mentally prepare yourself to enter the assembly room, adjusting your posture -- shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward. 

“Not a word,” you warn Brennan quietly. “Keep your shields up, like I taught you.”

“I didn’t know we were taking prisoners,” a lanky teenage boy calls, eyeing you from his perch on the edge of a table. In the years you’ve been away, he’s grown into his father’s dark features, and the lazy confidence that can only come with a noble title. “I was wondering when you’d be back from playing soldier. Have they brought you here to negotiate?”

“Lovely to see you again too, Xaden,” you say dryly, addressing the boy by name, and Brennan’s gaze whips toward you in shock. “No, I am not here to negotiate. We are here to surrender, and if you will have us, we will take your side in this fight to free Tyrrendor from those who have oppressed her for centuries.”

“They would be an asset to us, should this prove to not be a setup,” one of the elders says, keeping his hand on the hilt of his longsword.

“She has proved her allegiance to Tyrrendor time and time again,” Xaden defends coldly, dismissing the man who looks old enough to be his grandfather. “It is the general's son that I’m more concerned with.”

You look him directly in the eye as you speak, raising your chin. “Sorrengail is a strong rider and skilled mender, but above all, he is a good man. I could not have chosen anyone better to share the crown with when the day comes.”

Brennan looks at you like he has no idea who you are, trying to discern if this is a dream.

Xaden finds this amusing. “She really didn’t tell you? Always so secretive, that one. Your girlfriend is heir apparent to the Duchy of Lindell, as I am to Aretia, where you stand.”

He looks to the elders, who all nod in affirmation, deeming your appraisal of Brennan satisfactory. “It’s good to have you back, Lady. Things were getting boring without you.”

You lower your head to him in thanks, Brennan quickly copying you.

You tug Brennan into the hall after you’re dismissed.

“Did you really mean that?” He asks, head still spinning.

“Every word,” you reply. “From the moment you extended that hand to me in our first year at Basgiath, I knew you were good to your core, Brennan Sorrengail. It would be an honor to share my duty with you.” 

“Your mate needs you,” Marbh says, making a rare appearance.

Your heart drops. You sprint down the valley trail back to the house, attempting to ascertain what had happened, but you aren’t given a response. Marbh has always been vague.

You find Brennan tucked into a corner of your shared room, back pressed to the wall. He’s clutching a piece of parchment that you recognize to be a Basgiath death roll. He extends it to you wordlessly, and your eyes race down the list, searching for Mira, his mother, another of your friends…

The final name on the list, below the rider’s quadrant cadets, almost as an afterthought… Major William Sorrengail. His father.

“Oh, Bren,” you breathe, gathering him into your arms, “I’m so sorry.”

His entire body shakes with a sob, and it takes everything in you to not cry as well, but you remain strong, needing to be there for him. “I knew I’d never see him again,” he says in a cracked whisper, “but now…” But now it’s real.

You’d never met the man, and now you never will, but you know what a profound impact Brennan’s father had on his life, imparting so many of the qualities that you admire about Brennan; his dedication to his studies, his respect for the scribes that so many others dismiss or overlook, his unwavering compassion…

You offer a silent prayer to Malek on his behalf, asking that He show the scribe the same kindness that he had shown others in life.

“I don’t know why, or how,” Brennan rasps, “I don’t know who was there with him in the end, if Mira and Violet got to say goodbye, if my mother…” he can’t finish the sentence, words cut with shaking breaths. He loses the strength to hold himself up, collapsing into your embrace. “I should be there,” he sniffles, “I should have been there.”

“I know how much you love him. He knew too, I’m sure he did. They all do.” You hold him tighter, stroking his hair. “The girls are strong. They will mourn, but they will get through it together.”

He’s run out of tears, leaving him with a headache and a hollow feeling in his chest. He eventually relaxes, not saying a word as you smooth down the soft waves of his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He’s fallen asleep. You just hope his dreams will be kind to him.

“Enough,” you command, and all heads turn toward you. “I will not have you disrespect Riorson nor his partner in his own home. Have you forgotten what he has done for our young?”

Ulices stiffens. “My apologies, Lady.” He says the title with an ounce of venom, but yields, returning to his seat.

Violet continues to study you. You’re dressed simply, head to toe rider’s black mixed with traditional Tyrrish leather armor and intricate braids that she has only seen drawn in history books, but it’s obvious in your posture that you’re nobility - you do not dip your head below the horizon even for a moment, and you speak with the confidence that others will listen.

“We have better things to do than argue about what should have happened. There is no turning back time,” you say calmly. “I agree that we have been given a legion of students rather than trained warriors, but it has become our job to train them.”

Brennan speaks next. He’s been silent since the meeting started. “What professors have joined us should resume modified versions of their courses, and we will fill in the gaps. Match up those with similar signets for mentorship. Emeterrio can continue to lead combat training, and Devera Battle Brief. Kaori has not joined us, but I think there is an obvious replacement.”

You’re saddened by the news, but you smile softly at his praise. 

Violet realizes that the scribbled amendments in the dragons section of Brennan’s book weren’t Mira’s, but yours. You’ve been close for years, then. You must have brought him here with you when you deserted. Part of her wonders if you’d attended Basgiath because you wanted to, or as a spy.

“Do not question the royal one’s integrity,” Tairn warns her, but does not elaborate further.

“The riot has decided that everyone here can be trusted,” you state. “And if anyone turns out not to be, we will do what we have to do, without hesitation, for the good of the movement.”

There’s sounds of agreement from the other six, and then the meeting is over.

“Hey,” he says softly, leaning against the doorframe, clutching a bloodied rag to his face.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Mira’s fist happened,” he explains, lifting it, and you wince at the sight of his nose, the bridge split and bruising. “I’ll be fine in a day or two.”

Your heart twists. Brennan hasn’t been able to see his sisters for nearly a decade, spending the last six years in hiding and the two before that stationed across the continent with hardly enough leave to travel back and forth to Basgiath. For Mira to have punched him straight in the face instead of the tearful hug he’d dreamed of… it must have crushed him.

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, careful not to bump his nose. “I’ll talk to her,” you say softly. “Go see the healers.”

You’ve only met the middle Sorrengail in passing, nearly ten years ago now, but she’s exactly as Brennan had described her; a younger version of their mother, and just as strong-willed. Evidently, she remembers you, scowling and crossing her arms at the sight of you, but still standing at attention — there’s no missing the Major’s insignia on your chest. Violet stands as well, but doesn’t look as sour as her sister. 

You wave a hand. “At ease. I am not here to issue orders, rather to talk about your brother.”

Mira prickles, Violet looking concerned.

You choose your words carefully. “I do not expect either of you to forgive him overnight, nor for you to forgive me for my complacency in this matter. All I ask is that you show him some compassion. It has been hard for him too, being apart from his family. When your father-”

“That is not a sentence you should finish,” Mira interrupts.

“Mira,” Violet scolds softly, “be nice.”

“No,” she snaps, “I don’t think you understand. We mourned him. We called him a hero, thought he died honorably in battle when he really just deserted and changed his name.”

“He did die,” you say, and the eyes of both women flit back toward you. You look over your shoulder. “He bled out on the floor of that ballroom, and his heart stopped. Our friend siphoned away his life to save him.”

“Tairn’s previous rider,” Violet says in a whisper, as if the dragon will not hear her that way.

“Yes. Naolin.” You say his name with a heavy voice. No wonder Tairn won’t speak to her of the one who came before. That explains the gruff dragon’s defense of you, too.

Mira is silent, likely feeling guilt over her outburst as she realizes her brother still lives in the house he’d been killed in, with the son of the man who had ended his life.

“The elders gave him the name Aisereigh — meaning resurrected — as a layer of protection from those who hold vendettas against your mother. It hurt him to take it, and to not be able to give me the Sorrengail name, but it was necessary for his survival.”

Violet’s eyes land on the band circling your ring finger, a smooth strip of silver carved with Tyrrish runes. Brennan had worn a matching one when she’d seen him the day after War Games, but she hadn’t thought anything of it until now. “You’re married.”

You nod. “Three years ago, right on that bluff at the top of the valley, on a gorgeous summer day. Both of us wish those he loves most could have been there.” 

“Thank you,” Violet says quietly, “for staying with him through it all.”

“I have been by his side since our first year at Basgiath, and I will remain there as long as we shall live, as I have vowed to,” you reply with the same blunt conviction that she’s used to from Xaden — that must be a Tyrrish thing. “Now please excuse me. I have a class to teach in a few minutes.”

Mira lowers her head to you in a gesture of respect. “I’m sorry,” she says, but she does not say what for.

You give her a soft smile in return, heading back into the house.

“Major Aisereigh will be taking over your dragonkind course, as Professor Kaori did not elect to join us here,” Professor Devera announces.

It’s strange to be standing on the dais as an equal with the woman who’d had a hand in kidnapping you from Brennan’s bed to torture you eight years ago, but nearly everything about your life since that night has been strange.

“I don’t know precisely what Kaori did and did not cover thus far in the term, but given that every person in this room has managed to bond a dragon, you are clearly proficient, and I will treat you as such,” you begin. “Dragons are independent, often to a fault, but do not forget that your health depends on theirs. As riders, you must learn how to care for them properly. That’s what we will be focusing on for the remainder of the term, along with flight mechanics and keeping your seat under stress.”

You glance at Brennan, who is sitting incognito in the back row, broken nose now mended, and he nods, an easy smile on his face. You’re doing great.

The lesson passes easily, your students much more engaged than you remember your peers having been in Professor Kaori’s class. 

“I will be needing volunteers to help with the maintenance of the riot while they’re grounded.”

At least thirty hands shoot straight up — half the class.

The trek up the valley wall is never easy, but you make winded conversation with several of the volunteers, mainly nervous first-years who confide that they need the extra practice.

You stop at the top of the trail, cupping a hand to your mouth and calling out a few short notes, and Banrion is at your side in seconds, shaking the ground with her landing. At least a dozen others land nearby, sitting upright in waiting. 

“You’ve brought children,” she appraises, eyeing them with distaste.

“Cadets,” you correct, “that you will be helping me teach. So be nice.”

She chuffs softly. “Fine.”

“I have chosen some more agreeable members of the riot to aid me today, to ease you into their care, but let me make this clear,” you say to the class, who have retreated to give you and Ban a healthy distance. “the majority still find it deeply offensive to be addressed by a human that is not their rider. Unless your bonded has joined us today, please refrain from speaking to any directly.”

You wait for nods of affirmation. “Banrion and I will demonstrate pre-flight checks once, and then you will split into groups of two or three to do the same with the remainder here.”

Once you get everyone settled, you find Brennan — he’d tagged along quietly, not wanting to part ways after the morning’s chaos.

“Well done, Professor,” he says, smiling. “You just might make this a day job.”

You laugh. “Is this everything twenty-year-old Bren thought it would be?”

“It is,” he says quietly. “And more.”

You gaze out at the field of cadets. “Marked and unmarked, living in harmony.”

Brennan squeezes your hand in acknowledgment, remembering how scared you had been when the first marked ones left for Basgiath, and each year since. It had hurt you deeply when not all of them returned. 

Tairn stalks up to you, dipping his head in greeting. “Good to see you again, royal one.”

You smile. “Glad you’re still around, big guy. You have made an excellent choice in Violet. How is the golden one?”

“Still dreamless,” he answers, not deigning to reply to your compliment. 

You worry your lip between your teeth, concerned. 

He casts a glance around at the young cadets in the vale, who are taking their tasks very seriously. “You remain as revered a leader as you were at Basgiath.”

You’re actually touched, but you won’t dare mention that to Tairn.

“It is not an easy feat to raise young,” a green scorpiontail says in agreement, looking down fondly at the first-years that are inspecting her claws for cracks, “but the two of you are doing a fine job.”

You smile. “And how are your young?”

“Safe,” she answers. “You may come see them after dark.”

“It would be an honor.”

“Professor?” A cadet calls from across the field, sounding mildly concerned.

You pull apart from Brennan reluctantly. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Kiss for your thoughts?” you ask playfully, seeing the weary look on his face. It’s been a long day for him, with multiple arguments among the assembly and all the emotions of reuniting with Mira.

“I have both of my sisters back,” he breathes, still in disbelief. “I thought I’d never see them again.”

You lay a hand on his back, resting your head on his shoulder. “I spoke with them before class. Mira was particularly upset, but she softened when I told her what really happened.”

He’s quiet. “She has every right to hate me for what I did. She should despise me for the rest of my life.”

“But she doesn’t,” you remind him gently. “She holds anger, but she doesn’t hate you. You’re her brother, and she knows you love her. You wrote her an entire textbook on how to survive the rider’s quadrant. If that isn’t testament enough, I don't know what is.”

He shakes his head, smiling softly. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”

You grin, moving to climb into his lap. “Because I know you, and I know exactly what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours.”

“Yeah?” he asks, nose brushing against yours, a ringed hand settling on your waist. “What am I thinking about right now?”

“Hmm. Probably about how long of a day it’s been, and how you’d like to unwind after all of it?���

“You’re absolutely right,” he says. “I’ll take that kiss now.”

You lean forward, connecting your lips to his, and the rest of the world falls silent, melting away until all that’s left is you, your husband, and the love you share, love that has endured death itself.

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in August 2024 🌈

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Happy reading!

[ Text list below ⤵ ]

❓What was the last queer book you read?

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Failure to Comply - Sarah Cavar 🧡 I Spit On Your Celluloid - Heidi Honeycutt 💛 You're Embarrassing Yourself - Desiree Akhavan 💚 Death of the Hero - Briona Johnson 💙 Between Dragons and Their Wrath - Devin Madson 💜 The Crimson Crown - Heather Walter ❤️ Sacrificial Animals - Kailee Pedersen 🧡 Oath of Fire - K. Arsenault Rivera 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 This Ravenous Fate - Hayley Dennings 💜 Mistress of Lies - K.M. Enright 🌈 Wolf Bite - T.J. Nichols

❤️ In the Valley, A Shadow - Samantha Tano 🧡 Follow My Lead - Adrian J. Smith 💛 The Last Woman I Kissed - Venetia Di Pierro 💚 Full Shift - Jennifer Dugan & Kristen Seaton 💙 Hers for the Weekend - Helena Greer 💜 Come Out, Come Out - Natalie C. Parker ❤️ Rules for Ghosting - Shelly Jay Shore 🧡 How to Leave the House - Nathan Newman 💛 Plot Twist - Carmen Sereno 💙 On the Far Side of a Crescendo - Kalyn Hazel 💜 Tiny Oblivions and Mutual Self Destructions - Maxwell I. Gold 🌈 Daylan and the River of Secrets - Edd Tello

❤️ The Italy Letters - Vi Khi Nao 🧡 The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie - Lee Wind 💚 The House Where Death Lives - Alex Brown 💙 Ash's Cabin - Jen Wang 💜 The Avian Hourglass - Lindsey Drager ❤️ The Heart Wants - Krystina Rivers 🧡 A Grand Love - Janna Barkin 💛 You Can't Go Home Again - Jeanette Bears 💜 Libertad - Bessie Flores Zaldivar 🌈 Her Golden Coast - Anat Deracine

❤️ Mighty Millie Novak - Elizabeth Holden 💛 Rise and Divine - Lana Harper 💚 Dying for You - L Flowers 💙 I'll Have What He's Having - Adib Khorram 💜 Changing Her Tune - Amanda Kabak ❤️ Monogamy? In this Economy? - Laura Boyle 🧡 The Rainbow Age of Television - Sayna Maci Warner 💛 Medusa of the Roses - Navid Sinaki 💙 Confounding Oaths - Alexis Hall 💜 Idol Lives - K.T. Salvo 🌈 Brother's Keeper - Quinn Cameron

❤️ Key Lime Sky - Al Hess 🧡 Crushing It - Erin Becker 💛 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou 💚 Not for the Faint of Heart - Lex Croucher 💙 Tasting Temptation - JJ Arias 💜 Ami - S. Jae-Jones ❤️ You're the Problem, It's You - Emma R. Alban 🧡 Cubs & Campfires - Dylan Drakes 💛 The Dark We Know - Wen-yi Lee 💙 Practical Rules for Cursed Witches - Kayla Cottingham 💜 Riyati Rebirth - Kalani Shimizu 🌈 The Brujos of Borderland High - Gume Laurel III

❤️ A Bánh Mì for Two - Trinity Nguyen 🧡 Dance of the Starlit Sea - Kiana Krystle 💛 Scattered Snows, to the North - Carl Phillips 💚 Beyond a World Apart - Caitlin Myers 💙 Don't Let It Break Your Heart - Maggie Horne 💜 Nothing Heals Me Like You Do - Harper Bliss ❤️ How It All Ends - Emma Hunsinger 🧡 How Do I Sexy? - Mx. Nillin Lore 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 Prince of the Palisades - Julian Winters 💜 Better Left Buried - Mary E. Roach 🌈 Back to Back - Jo Fletcher

❤️ DITCHLAPSE / [REALLY AFRAID] - Tommy Wyatt 🧡 The Love Archives: Bonus Scenes & Excerpts for Palestine - Various 💛 Guardian: Zhen Hun - Ying Priest 💚 The Sunforge - Sascha Stronach 💙 Queering Reproductive Justice - Candace Bond-Theriault 💜 Gender Explained - Diane Ehrensaft & Michelle Jurkiewicz ❤️ The Unlikely Pair - Jax Calder 🧡 In Universes - Emet North 💛 We Love the Nightlife - Rachel Koller Croft 💙 Lessons from Cruising - Martin Goodman 💜 Wild Ginger in the Rhubarb - Eule Grey 🌈 Not My Circus - Delicia Niami

❤️ Asunder - Kerstin Hall 🧡 The Phoenix Keeper - S.A. MacLean 💛 Encounters with James Baldwin - Various 💚 Verity's Game - Jennifer Giacalone 💙 Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase - Fae Quin 💜 The Audacity Omnibus - Carmen Loup ❤️ Haunted to Death - Frank Anthony Polito 🧡 Blood Orange - Paige Grunewald 💛 The Bad Things We Did - Chris Archeske 💙 Dark Restraint - Katee Robert 💜 Worth the Wait - Kenna White 🌈 The Maid and the Crocodile - Jordan Ifueko

❤️ Loving Corrections - Adrienne Maree Brown 🧡 The Last Witch in Edinburgh - Marielle Thompson 💛 The Duchess of Kokora - Nikhil Prabala 💚 The Scales of Seduction - Rien Gray 💙 Survival Is a Promise - Alexis Pauline Gumbs 💜 Loka - S.B. Divya ❤️ The Every Body Book of Consent - Rachel E Simon 🧡 Southern Lights - Liz Arncliffe 💛 Then Things Went Dark - Bea Fitzgerald 💙 Death at Morning House - Maureen Johnson 💜 The Last Doorbell - William Parker 🌈 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

[eywa-eveng]

ɪɪɪ. sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ɴᴏɴᴇ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ – ᴊᴀᴋᴇ sᴜʟʟʏ, sᴜʟʟʏ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ X ᶠᴱᴹ ᴹᴱᵀᴷᴬᵞᴵᴺᴬ ᴿᴱᴬᴰᴱᴿ

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ – 16.2k

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ – angst

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs – widower!Jake, war, gore, major character death

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇ – Part three is finally here! Only one part left and then this short series will be officially finished! Also, this installment follows closely to the plot of the movie.

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪ – ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪɪ – ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪᴠ

ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪsᴛ – @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @amiets2 @neteyamforlife @itscheybaby @sunrays404 @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @eternallyvenus @bobojojoba69 @behindthearcane @elegantkidfansoul @goldenmoonbeam @ladylovegood-69 @slutforsmut4ever @myheartfollower @pinkiemme @arminsgfloll @wtf-why-do-i-gotta-do-this @onlyreadz @sovereignsylvia @scc7514 @ghost-lantern @calums-betch @nao-cchi @a—1–1–3 @crazy4books1 @meladollsims

Wind blows through the great arches of the Cove, lifting misting clouds of warm water that sparkle in the pale light rising from beneath the waves. The breeze is filled with the comforting scents of home; of lush sea grass and the tang of the ocean as gusts of air whistle like flying arrows across the open water. The waves crashing against the shore below add to the melody like the beat of a drum as the wind whispers a soft song through the balmy air. The floating islands stand guard, shadows passing overhead like clouds to offer relief from the warmth of the afternoon sun. It’s peaceful here in the Cove of the Ancestors, tranquil as still water as you work. 

The climb had been arduous, your palms sore and legs burning from the climb. The ground feels like a salve as the cool dirt rushes like water over your hands as you carefully dig up plants. Collecting these greenish gray roots are the last of your chores for the day. They’re a necessity for some healing tonics and Ronal has nearly depleted her supply with the new wave of hunters looking to prove their worth so soon after their rites have been passed. It is expected. They are still young, still eager to prove their strength and worth as one of The People. But hunting is not all that is needed in the clan. Some will be better suited to other tasks. Weaving nets, repairing the marui, teaching the younglings the ways of the clan. Some will become healers and free divers. It is what you’re suited to even after so many years of training to hunt and fish. Now, you tuck the last of the knotted roots into the satchel on your hip and dust the dirt from your hands. The climb up the winding vines hanging from the spono alusìng may have been strenuous but getting down is always your favorite part. A few steps back, a deep breath, and then you’re sprinting to the edge of the island. 

Those few moments in the air feel infinite as the wind whips around you, running through your hair and across your skin like weightless touches as the water below draws closer. There’s a moment of darkness as you close your eyes against the impact and then a burst of light as the water slows your descent, the tide keeping you from sinking. Pale purple light plays across your skin, the fronds of the Ranteng Utralti tracing against you as you swim towards the surface. The light fades as you return to the village, purple fading to yellow as the afternoon deepens to evening. The terraces are emptying and hunters are beginning to return from beyond the reef as you pull yourself onto the path in front of your marui. Ronal’s voice greets you, a sharp, wordless yip you recognize as a call for your presence. 

She isn’t happy when you join her, the marui already crowded with guests as the children stand in the shadow of their tsahìk and olo’eyktan. There’s a grave energy filling the home, a disturbance that only grows as your eyes pass over Lo’ak and the rest. A chill trickles down your spine as you hand Ronal what you’ve collected. She sets it to the side with little regard, her green eyes filled with an anger that flows deeper than petty squabbles between children. Before you can speak she grabs your arm with enough strength to make your ears bow back in submission. 

“What have you been teaching your children?” She’s seething, words coming from between clenched teeth as she bares her fangs at you. Your lip twitches, prepared to draw back in your own show of displeasure. There is an accusation shining in her eyes, words harsher than she cares to share in the presence of others. Before she was tsahìk she was your elder sister and it’s clear in her fierce expression that she’d rather dispense with formalities and speak her anger freely. Instead she tosses your arm away with a hissing sigh, returning to her pacing before whirling to face the children once more. 

They’re standing with their heads bowed, ears pulled back and tails hanging limp between their legs as Ronal’s green gaze draws over each of them like a stinging nettle. Finally she settles on her daughter. Tsireya already looks close to tears, eyes clouded thick with regret and unshed tears. Her tanhì flicker with a faint anxious light, seemingly keeping time with what must be her thundering heartbeat. It’s an expression you’ve known in your younger years at the hands of Ronal. She expects so much of those she teaches, and even more when they are her family. Tsireya is in line to be tsakarem, she’s meant to reflect Eywa’s grace. And whatever she’s done has gone against the Great Mother’s teachings. 

“You allowed this! You allowed him to bond with the outcast!” Ronal snaps. 

“Payakan?” The word leaves your lips before you can stop it. Barely a whisper but your sister hears it. The flames of her anger are turned on you in an instant, catching quickly and burning away at your pride as she scolds you as if you’re a child. A hiss rolls off your tongue with little consideration, teeth bared at Ronal as your tail begins to sway in tense waves. Your sister isn’t perturbed by the display of aggression. Neither of you will go beyond these small shows of hostility. 

“Yes, Payakan!” Ronal snaps. “Your son has bonded with him. And they allowed it to happen!” She doesn’t name which of your children has made this misstep but a place in your heart knows it was Lo’ak even before Ronal’s eyes settle on him. He doesn’t look nearly as remorseful as you’d expect. There’s an air of annoyance and agitation in his idle movement, but there isn’t a sense of guilt in his lowered gaze and sagging shoulders. 

“Lo’ak, what have you done? You should’ve known better.” His head raises when you say his name, defiance bright as starlight in his yellow eyes. 

“You are the son of a great warrior and this is how you act? You have been taught better than this.” Tonowari says just as Jake makes his way to the marui. Jake’s eased expression immediately falls to shadows, his brows drawing low and his jaw tightening as he hears the olo’eyktan’s words. 

“Payakan saved my life, nawmtu. You don’t know him.” Lo’ak’s words only serve to sow further discord as he speaks against Tonowari. Tsireya murmurs his name, shaking her head to discourage his attitude. There is still more he wants to say, insolence still clear on his face as he lifts his chin but holds his tongue. Tonowari does the same, nodding at Lo’ak’s disrespect. 

“Sit.” He says evenly. Threads of anger slowly pulling at his tone. At last, Lo’ak bows his head as Tonowari stoops to his level but the olo’eyktan is not mollified. “Sit down!” He shouts until all the children are seated. Tsireya falls to her knees like a stone through water while the other boys remain tense. Tonowari’s voice is strong enough to buckle even your knees but Ronal catches you by the elbow before you can kneel at her mate’s side. She might have laid the fault for this at your feet–blaming your poor teaching–but she won’t let you bow to Tonowari’s anger in this way. She shakes her head when you look at her. Despite her initial anger, this isn’t your lesson to learn. 

Tonowari dissipates his anger with a harsh exhale before speaking again. 

“Hear my words, boy. These are lessons you’ve learned before when the tulkun returned, but it seems you do not remember. The tulkun forbid killing, yet Payakan has gone against this. He has returned to the ways of the days of the First Songs; taking lives. We follow the way of our brothers and sisters. Payakan is a killer, so he is outcast. To all.”

“No. I’m sorry, nawmtu, but you’re wrong.”

“Lo’ak!” You snap before he can say more. “You speak to olo’eyktan.” His eyes settle on you for a brief moment before his mouth opens again. 

“I know–”

“That’s enough!” Jake snaps. His silence lasts a few beats longer, long enough for Tsireya to try to dissuade him with another shake of her head. He seems to consider her before raising his head once more. 

“I know what I know.” He finishes. Ronal drops your arm, clicking her tongue at your son before turning away from all of you. This new bond has upset the great balance and it will be a burden to the tsahìk before anyone else. Though it weighs just as heavily on your shoulders, perhaps more. Lo’ak is your child. His teaching is your responsibility. And yet here is a clear mark of your failure to teach him your ways. 

“That’s enough.” Jake growls, looming over Lo’ak like a pouncing animal. At last, Lo’ak surrenders. “I’ll deal with him.” Tonowari nods, watching Jake pull Lo’ak away from the marui. The rest of the children scatter, glad to be free of their leaders’ anger. 

“Go,” Ronal dismisses you as well. “You’ve worked hard today.” Those are her words of consolation. Not an apology but a stone to step over this conflict. This storm will not pass as easily as fighting between the children, but what’s done is done. A bond with a spirit brother can only be undone by death. This decision; Lo’ak and Payakan will have to live with it for the rest of their lives. 

It’s in your nature to soothe and nurture, a childhood spent healing and convening with the Great Mother has instilled a caring nature within you. Even with anger sitting heavy as stones in your chest you want to go to Lo’ak, to ease his thoughts. Jake will surely have torn into him like an akula for his disrespect towards Tonowari, and while his words will be harsh they aren’t undeserved. Some things you simply cannot turn a blind eye to. He has gone against the way of the Metkayina in a way no one has in recent memory. It is expected that the tsahìk approves the bonding between spirit siblings. For Lo’ak to disregard tradition, to bond with an outcast no less, is a great show of disrespect. And yet you want to understand why he did it. You linger just beyond the path of the Sully marui where Jake’s voice has carried. His words are muffled but anger is evident in his tone. After a while, Lo’ak storms out. When Jake doesn’t follow to drag him back inside you decide it is your time to make a gentler attempt at reproach. 

Lo’ak knows you’re following him. Your shadow is lengthening in pinkish purple light of the coming eclipse and casting across his back as your feet find the prints he’s already left in the sand. Every Na’vi is taught to hunt from a young age and his ears twitch towards the soft pattering of your footfalls even as he refuses to stop. When he is finally tired of running he turns to look at you. His face is no longer set in stony defiance. Instead the harsh lines have fallen away to something soft and vulnerable. He looks nearly close to tears, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. He isn’t sad, but there is a sort of frustration that can only be released through angry tears. Like a bowl spilling over, Lo’ak’s overabundance of clashing emotions has nowhere to pour but outwards. 

“They hate me.” His voice breaks over the words. “They hate me, Sa’nok.” Your heart squeezes. 

“Shameful. Outcast. That’s all I’ll ever be to anyone.” When his head falls you lift it with a gentle hand under his chin. “I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. Payakan is my friend, I swear. Please, Sa’nok, you have to believe me. You have to believe me.” He clings to your arm as if you’re the only thing keeping him from being washed out with the tide. It isn’t sadness tinging his voice but an unrestrained desperation. Ronal denied him. Tonowari denied him. Jake denied him. Even Tsireya told him to hold his tongue. None of them would hear him, none of them would See him. But you See. So much. 

“Lo’ak. Ma’itan. I believe you.” You take his hands in yours and draw him to sit in the sand. “Just tell me what happened. Everything.” And he does. He tells you of how Payakan saved him when Ao’nung abandoned him beyond the reef, of how he visited him nearly every day between his chores and lessons, of how he knew they were meant to be spirit brothers after seeing the bond between The People and the returning tulkun. 

“Those men died, but it wasn’t Payakan who killed them. He rallied the men to fight back against the demon ship after they attacked him and his family. He watched his mother die. He was upset and scared. It wasn’t his intention to get anyone killed.” A long breath leaves your lungs as if you’ve surfaced after a long dive, releasing the tension in your chest before you speak. 

“By the tulkun way he is a killer. We did not decide this, but it is the way of our brothers and sisters. Payakan must bear the weight of those lives lost. I will tell Tonowari the truth of it, but it will not change his mind. This path we follow isn’t for us to decide. Only a tulkun can remove the stain Payakan carries.” 

“But it isn’t fair. He knows what he did was wrong!” 

“I know, but it is the way.” You send him off with a promise to talk to his father. Jake is alone when you arrive, your skin still damp from wading in the ocean to wash away the sand. Tension is clear in the harsh lines of his muscles as he sharpens a spear, stone against stone tossing sparks of light between his hands. There are many things on his mind. Dark and heavy, looming just out of sight. This is just another weight upon his shoulders. 

“Ma Jake,” he doesn’t look up from his work at the sound of your voice. Instead he grows more tense, knuckles paling as his grip tightens on the stone in his fist. His ears pull back in a show of irritation but you won’t be ignored. “Jake, this is very hard for them. This is a new place with new traditions. They are learning. It will take time. Everything does not always come easily.” 

“I know.” His tone is thick with authority, dripping with the voice of an olo’eyktan. It’s final. He wants this to be done with. But if he was olo’eyktan you would be his tsahìk. It is what you trained for. It is what all your lessons have taught you to be. In this you are equals. His voice can’t intimidate you when you both stand on equal footing. Jake is no longer olo’eyktan. He’s left that life behind in the forest. And you will never be tsahìk. But you are mated, still. Equals. 

“Lo’ak tries to live up to your expectations. It is very hard for him.”

“I know.” His tone has shifted to something more pliable. He’s less assured. “You are very hard on him.” He stops sharpening the blade at last, eyes swirling with a mixture of denial and acceptance. He sets his work aside and reaches for you. Your hands meet. Hot and cold. His warmed with anger and yours cooled by the ocean. There is so much fire inside him. He’s left war behind but the war hasn’t left him. 

“I do everything I can to protect them,” Jake laments, “and Lo’ak still goes against my word at every turn. Fighting with Ao’nung, going beyond the reef. And now he’s gone and done this. The rest I expect. He’s never been good at following rules. But this–he’s brought shame to this family. Ronal was already hesitant about letting us stay. If you hadn’t spoken on our behalf we probably would’ve been turned away come morning. Now Lo’ak has disregarded a sacred tradition. One that Ronal presides over.”

“It isn’t just Lo’ak’s choice. He bonded with Payakan because he allowed tsaheylu to be made. A bond between a Na’vi and tulkun is as sacred as the one you share with your ikran. You must be chosen for a bond to be made and Payakan chose Lo’ak. He didn’t follow tradition but this is one of his rites passed. Ronal knows this just as well as I do. It isn’t perfect but I’m proud of him. He is becoming one with the clan. That is what you wanted isn’t it?” At last Jake sighs and the last of his fire burns out, body relaxing its rigid posture. His fingers have cooled or perhaps yours have gained some warmth as he toys with them between his own. Five fingers playing across your four. 

“I was worried.” He says after a moment. “I thought that if we couldn’t make it here–if we had to leave–I’d lose you. I’d lose this home. I’d lose everything all over again.” 

“Ma Jake.” Your hands pull away from his to hold his face in your palms. His brows are pulled tight and you kiss away the tension formed between them. “Where you go I follow. If you leave, so do I.” He’s already shaking his head before you can finish.

“I don’t want it to come to that. This is your home. The look on the kids’ faces when we had to leave the forest gutted me. I want this to be our home. But I don’t know how much longer this can last.” Neither of you mention that this small piece of happiness has already begun to slip through your fingers like sand. Lo’ak and Payakan are a welcomed distraction from the storm looming over the horizon, to the south where humans are beginning to attack villages. Tonowari has given the order to keep Jake hidden, but the peace his words have made is tenuous at best. How long until the sawtute bring their war to Awa’atlu if sister islands in the atolls are already being attacked? 

Still the days go on. Tonowari continues to bring hushed reports of what is happening just beyond the reaches of the village. It’s all you can do to share the burden of this knowledge with your sister, with your mate. The guilt tears at Jake’s heart each time he hears of more homes being burned and animals being needlessly killed, but just as you do he tucks it all away to keep the cloud of ignorance hanging over the childrens’ heads. But, sooner or later, gathering clouds bring rain. 

“These things happen.” Neteyam stiffens under your hands at the reassuring words, muscles tensing before he slowly eases himself. He’s embarrassed if the purple tinge of his cheeks and low draw of his ears are anything to go by. He’d come trailing into the marui holding his bleeding arm and promising that it couldn’t be as bad as it seemed given the blood dripping through the seams of his fingers. He keeps his gazes pointedly out of sight, lashes lowered to hide what you might find there, but his tanhì still keeps a stuttering glow beneath your fingers as you smooth a soothing balm over the newly made stitches of his arm. The jagged welt is short but cut deep, the mark of an irritated tsurak. These wounds are common in the clan, nearly everyone receives one during their training. It will heal and fade with time but perhaps quicker than Neteyam’s pride. 

“Skimwings are not easily mastered. It will take time before your chosen mount fully accepts you as its rider. These bonds aren’t as easily made as those with ikran and ilu. Ilu are docile and easily soothed. Tsurak are fierce creatures meant for hunting in open water, and they do not choose their riders as ikran do. It is good that they are vicious. With time their attitude will soften towards you. Until then, you must take care to stay away from their sharp bits.” It’s meant to be teasing but Neteyam shrugs from under your hands. You sigh. 

“Neteyam.” His head turns towards your voice but his eyes don’t rise to meet yours until you say his name again. He is embarrassed and disappointed. It is expected to fail before you succeed but it doesn’t seem like your son will allow himself such grace. As with everything else, he must uphold the highest standards lest it reflect badly on his family. So much of his life has been molded by the expectations of others. As the eldest son of Toruk Makto, and the older brother to a spitfire like Lo’ak who is so prone to making mistakes. It was clear from your first meeting that Neteyam tries his hardest to be like his father, and to make up for what others might say about his brother. But he is still young, still learning. 

“It’s alright. No one is expecting you to ride a tsurak with the ease of a hunter on your first attempt.”

“Sempul did.” You tuck a stray braid behind his drooping ear, stifling a laugh. 

“Your sempul has ridden greater things than a skimwing and even he took a few attempts before he could mount properly. I watched him. Even when I was training, I got scars of my own. It is the way of things. Mistakes mean you are learning.” 

“But I shouldn’t make mistakes.” He grumbles. “I should be better.”

“And you will be, ma’itan, with time. Now go. You’ll miss the rest of your lessons and be more upset with yourself come eclipse.” He still hasn’t fully shaken the weight of disappointment from his shoulders but Neteyam stands with a dull nod. His whole body sags beneath the weight of this failure to meet his own expectations. His tail is limp between his legs as he trails out of the marui. You’re only alone for a moment. Just long enough to turn the fish over the fire before Jake comes ducking in. 

“Neteyam was hurt?” He asks. 

“He is your son.” You sigh, setting aside the fish you’ve already wrapped in leaves. “He has learned to ride an ilu and now he is learning to mount a skimwing. He learns as quickly as the wind, but a storm can’t blow on forever.” 

“Did you talk to him?” He asks, finding his place beside you. You feel his hand find its way into your hair, twisting the dark waves over his fingers as he watches you cook. Neteyam isn’t usually so stubborn but he takes his responsibilities as the eldest son of a legendary warrior all too seriously. Never mind that Toruk Makto has only emerged five times since the times of the First Songs with Jake being the sixth. He needn’t be so insistent on being the strongest, the fastest, the absolute best. It is like the newly made warriors of the clan boasting their strength as if to prove their place among the People. Learning with a swiftness isn’t necessary especially when he is still adapting to life in a new place. 

“I told him these things take time, but he won’t hear my words. A tree does not grow overnight, but he seems to think he must make miracles happen to live up to you.” Jake’s ears fall back against his head, brows frowned as he mulls over your words. It is the truth. 

Jake is a miracle walking among the Na’vi. An uniltìrantokx that became one of the People. He came from a star. Lo’ak had shown it to you once. Pointing at a distant dot of light in the deep blue sky like a pearl at the bottom of the ocean. It seems so impossible to travel through the skies as if it were the ocean but you’ve seen what the sawtute can do. Their metal, their light. It is all so strange. Frightening. They take and take. More than what is needed. From the ground beneath their feet, they twist and distort until it is something unrecognizable as earth; as their home. There’s a sharp pang in your chest as you remember the feeling of Eywa crying out as the Omatikaya’s Kelutral fell to the humans’ greedy hands. Jake said that their mother was dead, that the Earth had nothing more to give, but they wanted more. They wanted to do that here. Perhaps Neteyam is right to want to be like his father. This war isn’t over. The attacks on neighboring islands have proven that. 

Another sigh leaves him and you can’t help but count the seconds it takes for the heaving breath to pass. 

“I wish he could’ve seen what I was like before. They wouldn’t believe the mistakes I made to become what I am today.” 

“I would.” You tease, letting the moment of tension pass. “I’d believe you fell out of every tree you tried to climb and missed every mark you tried to shoot. Like a baby.” 

“Kawngtu,” he says, mirthfully bearing his teeth, “I should show you all I have learned. You should know I am not a child.” Your ears grow hot at his words, cheeks warming as your freckles flicker to life as bumps like plucked flesh prickles down your arms. His tone is unmistakable. Low and warm with a teasing drawl but you won’t entertain his obvious advances. Even as his tail traces over the exposed skin of your back, drawing around your waist in a flirtatious display of affection, you ignore him in favor of continuing your cooking. Night is slowly approaching and the children will be hungry after their lessons and chores. Still acting childishly as always, Jake continues to pluck at your nerves like the string of a musical bow. You swipe at him when he gets in your way, whipping him with your tail when he won’t be moved quickly enough for your liking. His current disposition is favorable compared to how somber he’s been as of late. 

It’s regrettable that the two of you weren’t able to bask in the sweetness of a newly made bond. It is expected that the days following the first tsaheylu between mates is filled with only happiness. A break from responsibilities as a new spiritual thread is woven between two souls. But the Great Mother did not seem to think your bond needed moments of leisure to be made strong. Instead there have only been these few gentle moments stolen between the growing worries that seem to draw nearer with each passing day. Even this small moment is broken as a shadow passes through the soft light of the disappearing sun, tall and commanding as Tonowari arrives with a heavy look of resentment rising like a wave in his blue eyes. It’s a look you’ve come to recognize well in the weeks since the first sawtute found their way to Awa’atlu’s distant atolls. So far from the lush green corner of the Pandoran jungle where the humans first set their covetous sights, yet not free from their treacherous hands. 

“Tskano’a.” He says. Another village just like yours touched by those hands of destruction. “No one died. They were expecting an attack. Most of the marui survived their burning. But they are drawing nearer, Jakesully. I give you my word that no one will tell them where you are, but this is all I can do.” 

It’s what he always says. Tonowari is patient and kind. A worthy olo’eyktan. The protector of peace above all else. The safety of the clan means more to him than the destruction of these demons. To attack would mean to wage war and war would mean shattering the peaceful life he has built for his people. Yet it doesn’t seem as though the sawtute want to give him a choice. 

“The boy is still with them.” The human boy. Spider. That is what Jake called him. A friend of the children since childhood. He was brought up in the ways of the Omatikaya, as close as the clan would allow, and now he has betrayed his people by serving the sawtute. His life matters to your children and so you are glad to know he lives, but he is still human. A plague upon Pandora. 

“They’ll be here soon.” It is the truth you feel inside you, sounding as clear as your heartbeat as the Great Mother breathes the words into your spirit. Always listening. It is a tsahìk’s purpose. And these words you’ve heard countless times. Softly, like the whispers of the wind. But now they rush like blood in your ears.

It is the undeniable truth as plain as Naranawm’s blue eye in the sky. The humans are coming and they’ll be here soon. Even if they have to burn every village to the ground. The men look at you with fire in their eyes. A passion burns within them both; a need to protect. Now more than ever. Tonowari only nods at your grave words before departing. Jake ducks back inside but you remain just outside, feeling the warmth disappear from the air as the burning orange of the sun fades to the bluish darkness of night. The children will be returning soon but you can’t shake the cold hands of fear from your body. They linger over your heart and tie knots in your stomach, staving off any thoughts of joining your family for dinner. This family that you’ve only just become a part of. 

“We need to do something.” Jake ignores your words, crouching down to continue cutting fruit as you’d been before Tonowari’s visit. There’s an irritated strength in each slice of the knife, scoring the slab of wood as he goes. “Jake, they are looking for you. We need to trap them. Kill them. Before these demons destroy anything else.” The knife is set down with a troubled growl. 

“I know.” He seethes. “But we have to be smart. It isn’t just us that could get hurt if we attack.” You want to say more but Tuk comes skipping inside talking about a crab she saw today and the conversation is abandoned as the two of you try to rebuild the facade of safety around your children. But it begins to crumble each time your eyes meet. Bright yellow haunted with what’s to come clash with your gaze as a nauseating sort of anticipation fills you. Like waiting for a nightmare to begin. 

The feeling never seems to pass. 

Rain kisses against your skin in a warm spray. Not heavy enough to stir the waves, just enough to turn the sky to a dreary gray. Your feet sink into the damp sand as Jake leads you to where Ronal and Tonowari are waiting. A hunting party returned with news of an injured tulkun, but as soon as your eyes meet your sister’s, the air seems to shift. The wind feels sharper, the rain colder, and you shiver at the uncertainty in her eyes. Tonowari speaks but you can hardly hear him, his voice is like the crashing of waves after you’ve already dove beneath them, warbled and forgotten as you and Ronal share in your own silent conversation. She is your sister and that bond binds you close, but the lessons of your childhood have brought you even closer. The men speak with words as you open yourself to the Great Mother’s silent voice. She’s there in the wind, in the rain, in the sound of the waves. 

Panic settles over you as you feel loss echoing through the air. Ronal must feel it too as she cuts her husband short to usher your small party into the ocean. Your tsurak croaks as you make tsaheylu, the feeling of fear that has settled in your chest echoing through the bond. It only grows more unsettling when Tonowari finally lands, the rest of you drawing in close behind. The orange spread of the tsurak’s wings are the only color over the bleak waters, drawn to darkness by the storm. Except for another spot of orange, brighter and uninterrupted by any pattern. It is startlingly out of place. Like a fire burning on the waves. Sawtute. Just as their light is strange and wrong–too bright–this color is greatly misplaced in the gathered pod of tulkun. One is unmoving among them, only shifting with the crest and fall of the water. Not injured. Dead. 

Hì’ikran have already gathered, their small shadows swooping overhead and sharp cries cutting through the deep bellows of the mourning tulkun. The tiny banshees are already nipping at the tulkun as you move in closer. For a moment, you accept this as the way of things. There is balance in everything, even death. The hì’ikran must eat and here there is food. But your heart rejects the thought as soon as you are close enough to truly see the tulkun. Ronal makes a small, wounded noise just as your heart turns cold in your chest. The thumping beat of it stills to chilled silence as you lose yourself for a moment. Just long enough to fall from your skimwing. Your mount screeches as you plunge into the dark water, surfacing with a sputtering cry as you swim towards the tulkun. 

Ronal is already there, hands pressed desperately against the unmoving creature. A feeling of hopelessness crashes over you like a heavy wave, threatening to drag you beneath its unmovable weight as your eyes flit wildly across Roa’s body. Those bright orange wings keep her above the water, embedded in her thick skin. Blood seeps in tepid rivers from the places the metal stabbed through her body. The hooks don’t move as you pull at them until your palms burn where the metal begins to wear against your skin. You fall back into the water, thrown off of her by the force of your own strength. A wordless shriek tears from your throat as you swipe at one of the bloated bags with your knife. It tears open and Roa sags, one of her fins beginning to sink. Her son, still tucked beneath it, begins vanishing as well. 

He doesn’t look at you when you touch him, trying to pull him from under his mother’s unmoving body. He doesn’t offer those same shy clicks he’d given when you met him last. It rends a strangled sound from you. Wordless but understood as Ronal looks at you and the calf. She’s sitting on Roa’s forefin as she’s done so many times before. But the tulkun doesn’t greet her, doesn’t scold her son for his bashfulness. She simply floats, bloated eyes rolled towards the sky. Shot through with blood and unseeing as Ronal presses her forehead against her spirit sister. Despite the sudden cold of the rain and water there’s a warmth spreading through your body. A dangerous swirl of anger and grief, sadness and fear that is like a whirlpool in your chest, sucking away any clear thoughts. All you can see is Roa and her son. Dead. And your sister’s despair as she reaches for you through the water. Her hand shakes in yours but her grip is tight as if she will never let it go. Tears mingle with the rain as they drip down your cheeks. Everything feels too close and far away all at once. Like the ocean has disappeared and swallowed you whole. 

“Her name is Roa.” Tonowari says at last, head bowed towards Jake. His tone is clipped with suppressed emotion though you can see it in his eyes. The sorrow, the stifled rage. He sets his lip in a harsh line and looks towards the horizon. 

“She was my spirit sister.” Ronal’s voice is a watery croak. “She was the composer of songs. Much revered. We would sing together.” 

“She waited many breeding cycles to have this calf.” You sob. He was so small, so young. He had many years ahead of him, a spirit brother to bond with, calves of his own to have. And yet it’s all been washed away in a moment. “The clan was so happy for her.” 

“What is this, Tonowari?” Ronal turns to her mate, hand still tight around yours. “What is this?” She shrieks. The olo’eyktan bows his head in the face of his wife’s grief. Death is a heavy burden for anyone to bear but a tsahìk feels things with a strength beyond that of the People. A tsahìk feels all. And Roa was not simply a bonded member of the clan, but her spirit sister. This pain has bowed her over like a flower in the wind, petals fallen and stem broken. You feel it, as well, the deep, aching pain that refuses to pass. 

“What have they done?” You shout, turning to Jake. The anger swelling in your chest has turned the plea to an accusation. It is the wrong place to rest your anger but there is no one else in sight for you to blame. He flinches and lowers his gaze but doesn’t move to comfort you. It reminds you how different you truly are. The ocean is deep and full of dangers. Jake has to cling to his tsurak to keep afloat. You’ve taught him well but not well enough to survive in the open oceans without an animal to guide him. A dark, ugly feeling rises like poison in your chest; regret. For allowing him to stay and cast this dark shadow. 

The thought is there only for an instant before shock douses your wrath, snuffing it out before it can consume you in an inescapable blaze. It wasn’t Jake that killed Roa. It wasn’t your mate that brought you this pain. And even though you haven’t said anything out loud, for once you’re afraid that someone can see what is in your eyes because Jake urges his tsurak forward, out of your sight. It only causes your heart to sink lower in your chest. Ronal releases you with some hesitancy as you pull away from her hold to follow Jake. You watch his back as he bows under the shadow of Roa’s fin. He doesn’t go further than her side, eyes tracing over her body. He reaches for you as you swim to his side, pulling you into his arms. 

There’s a comforting strength in his arms. 

“My girl,” he says softly, the human words flowing off his tongue as he pulls you on to his mount. “I’m so sorry.” 

“The sea gives and the sea takes.” It’s all you can say, words pounding in your head like a drum. It blocks out all else. The sea gives and the sea takes. Water connects all things. Life to death, darkness to light. These words are your way of life. As familiar as your own name. There’s comfort in their truth. Water cannot flow on forever and it’s here that Roa’s river empties into the vastness of the ocean to join the memories of her ancestors. They will sing her songs, remember her voice. She will never be truly gone. And yet it feels as though every trace of her will slip between your fingers the moment you turn your back to her. Tears still cloud your vision as you look at her prone body. There are more orange bags beneath her fins and a strange light like a white flame flickering over her back. A huge barb stands out against her dark scales, the needle plunged deep into her back. 

“Ma Jake.” It is something alien. Something human. Bright red and flashing as it is. There’s a soft sound emanating from it like a bird’s chirp. 

“Shit.” Jake curses. Always in English. He carefully climbs onto Roa’s back and you watch as his fingers dance over the strange object until it falls dark and silent. He pulls it from the space between her scales. You shrink away when he brings it for you to see, wholly uninteresting in being so close to their strange tools. 

“It’s a tracker.” He says as Tonowari rounds Roa’s body. His eyes trail over her before settling on the metal thing in Jake’s hand. You leave them to talk over what the tracker could mean. They’ve moved on from this but you’ll stay if only for a few moments longer. This will be the last time you see Roa and you want to remember it for a little while longer. 

It’s quiet as you sink beneath the waves, skin coming to life with dots of pale light as you swim beneath Roa’s shadow. Your fingers trace against her skin, finding the shapes of her tattoos across her pale underbelly. They tell a story of her life. Each mark etched into her skin like the bead of a songcord. Ronal is there as well, staring at the tattoos. Her eyes hold steady on the twin flowers blooming from a single vine. The same ink that trails along Veyan’s side. Both tulkun had gotten the tattoos to commemorate their bond with you and Ronal. You wonder if Veyan felt Roa’s death as the two of you had. If she is somewhere mourning the loss of a sister. 

«We must lay her to rest.» Ronal nods, neither of you mentioning that she will hardly be given the traditional funeral rites. She’ll be sunk here in the open water. Far from the tulkun resting grounds. The water is deep and dark. No anemones bright as sunlight dance in the gentle current below. Still Ronal unsheathes her blade and nods for you to do the same. The orange wings fold in on themselves, spewing out air as Roa begins to sink. Her son falls beside her and the two of you follow them down as far as you dare, watching their silhouettes disappear into the deep. There’s a burst of light when they finally land, stirring up stray flashes of syuratan. The tulkun begin to sing their bellowing mourning song. It rings through your head, echoing through the journey back to shore. Heavy and sorrowful as they sing about their sister. The clan will mourn too. 

The rain falls heavier as Tonowari calls the village to order in the central marui. There’s a restless sort of energy flowing like lapping waves through the crowd as Ronal pulls you to stand beside her and Tonowari. 

“My spirit sister and her baby have been murdered by the sky people!” Hushed sounds of anguish rush through the air, mournful yipping and defensive hisses. 

“This war has come to us. We knew about the hunting of our tulkun people, but it was over the horizon. Far away. Now, it is here!” Tonowari’s voice booms through the marui, crashing like thunder over the People as he declares war on the sawtute. Others join in his show of aggression, teeth and tongues bared in fierce war faces. Upset turns to aggression as growls ripple through the crowd, spears thumping and eyes flashing with a need for retribution. Jake’s eyes pass over the crowd with a look of distress.

“The sky people don’t think like us. They don’t care about the great balance.” He tries to reason. 

“We do not answer to sky people!” A hunter shouts. Jake’s nose scrunches in distaste, a shadow casting over his eyes as his brows furrow. 

“They’re not going to stop. This is only the beginning. You have to tell your tulkun to leave. Tell them to go far away!” 

“Leave?” You hiss. How could he say such a thing? The tulkun are part of the clan. To tell them to leave would be to sever the bond that has held strong for so many generations. 

“You live among us and you learned nothing!” Ronal shouts. Others second her words, the shows of aggression only spreading further. Half of the crowd has shifted their weight into a lower stance, preparing for a fight that will soon be on the horizon. 

“No! Hear my words! If you fight they will destroy you. They will destroy everything that you love!” Jake points to Ronal, still heavy with child, but his eyes linger on you. There’s sincerity there. A hope that this battle will not come to pass. You hiss at him, baring your fangs. He may be your mate but you cannot stand beside him in this. Roa and her child must be avenged. No more villages will be burned. No more lives will be lost. Ronal’s hand covers her stomach, face falling from anger to disbelief. Her child has not even taken their first breath and Jake dares to threaten them with the violence of these demons. 

“Hear my words!” Jake shouts over the uproar but no one will heed his warnings. The time for peace has passed. An unbounded tulkun being lost could be ignored, but this was a bonded member of the Metkayina. The spirit sister of the tsahìk. Her death will not be forgotten and the clan will not be deterred. No matter who he turns to, no one will listen to Jake. He may have been olo’eyktan once but his voice holds no weight here. Not when it is so plainly clear that he does not understand your way of life. You thought that you had taught him well. That he was becoming one with the clan. But it’s clear that you had been wrong in your assumption. His eyes are pleading as he looks to you, begging your word to second his. When you don’t raise your voice to support him he hisses indignantly and snatches the strange tracker from Neteyam’s hand, cursing in English. A hush falls over the crowd as he raises it above his head, everyone falling still at the sight of the alien object. An arm pulls you away from Jake as he climbs up next to Tonowari, Ronal keeping you close at her side as her other hand holds her mate’s arm. 

“You tell the tulkun that if they’re hit by one of these they’re marked for death. Call for me I’ll silence it. Saving their lives, that’s all that matters. Right? Saving your family.” He says, eyes landing on you and your sister. His words seem to soothe the People. Everyone lingers in the silence, unsure if this moment of peace will last. Tonowari turns to the two of you but you look away from him. The anger you felt when you first saw Roa’s body is beginning to creep up again, embers turning to a blazing flame. You want to fight. It is what is right after losing a member of the clan in such a brutal way. But Jake knows things that the rest of you don’t. If he says that a war with the sky people will only bring death, you’re inclined to believe him. If Toruk Makto isn’t certain of victory, then perhaps the battle should not be fought at all. Ronal shifts next to you before an unspoken decision passes between her and Tonowari. 

“Tell the tulkun.” His word is final and yet no one moves. 

“Go.” Ronal says and the tension releases at last. “Go!” The People begin to disperse and Jake goes with them. 

“Jake.” He doesn’t turn even as you follow his retreating back. “Ma Jake.” He stops only when you run in front of him, blocking his path forward with your hands flat against his chest. He frowns at you, jaw clenched tight as his yellow eyes spear you in place. He’s angry. But so are you. 

“I will not stand and do nothing!” His hand grips your wrist and pulls you away from the marui still crowded with people. He doesn’t speak until the two of you are in the privacy of his home, the children still missing in all the chaos. 

“Jake!” His grip isn’t tight and is easily broken when you wrench your arm free of him. He doesn’t let you go further than a few steps before he’s clinging to you again, hands holding your shoulders to keep your eyes steady on him. 

“Ma muntxate,” he says slowly, “listen to me now.” His tone is that of a scolding parent and you feel your lip twitch, wanting to hiss at him once more. His lips press against yours before you can. It’s a grounding sort of intimacy. Soft and searching as each of you pour your feelings into each other. Your anger and grief mingles with his caution and fear. 

“Listen to me. Humans have been hunting tulkun for a long time. This is the first time they’ve ever been so blatant about it, leaving Roa the way they did. They’re not hunting tulkun. That was a show of power. They’re hunting me. And if we fight back it will lead them right to us. I can’t let that happen. Just trust me on this, okay?” He tucks a limp strand of hair behind your drooping ear, fingers caressing your cheeks still damp with rain and tears. 

“So we must sit and do nothing?” It’s unthinkable. Roa and her child have been lost and he is asking you to stay idle as their murderers kill more tulkun. How long until Veyan is lost? Until Tsireya’s spirit sister is attacked. The tulkun will be thinning like harvested roots until there are none left. Then what will happen to the Great Mother’s balance? It isn’t the way of things and you won’t stand by as Eywa mourns the untimely death of another of her children felled by the sky people. 

“Look, I’ve got nothing. But this will protect the People. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me. If we fight, Na’vi will die.”

“And if we don’t, tulkun will die. Needlessly. A life lost at war is a sacrifice for the People. One that every warrior is willing to make. One that I am willing to make.” Jake winces at your words. “I’m sorry, Jake, but it is the truth. I am Metkayina. We fight to protect our brothers and sisters. This is the way. I thought you had learned that by now. How can you say you will not fight? You’re Toruk Makto.” So few have emerged since the First Songs, and only in times of great sorrow. He is a warrior of legend and yet here he sits, refusing to fight as if the mantle can so easily be removed. His name will be woven into songs for generations to come. What will they say of this battle? That he stood aside and let the sawtute terrorize the atolls that gave his family solace in their time of need?

“I told Ronal and Tonowari; I’m done with war. I did not lie about that. I came here for a life of peace.” 

“And is that peace not worth fighting to protect when it is threatened? Ma Jake, the Great Mother chose you for something. She has protected and guided you. Do not let her efforts be in vain.” He moves to say something but his brow twitches as the small object in his ear buzzes to life. His hand reaches for yours as he listens to the low noises. 

“Lo’ak?” He asks, pressing his fingers against his neck where an unbeaded choker sits above the necklace you recently made for him. More quiet humming follows until he asks, “Who’s with you?” Another beat of silence, then, “You get to cover and you do not engage. All right? You hear me? Do not engage. We’re coming.”

“Ma Jake, what is wrong?” He’s already moving, pulling you out of the marui. 

“The kids are in danger. Ao’nung and Tsireya are with them.” You look around at the people passing, calling warriors to your side as you rush to Ronal and Tonowari. 

“Is Rotxo with them?” You ask, not seeing his cropped hair as you pass by his family’s marui. 

“He said it was all of them. Come on!” Ronal and Tonowari look relatively peaceful despite the day’s events. Your sister cutting fruit and Tonowari repairing a net as the group you’ve gathered comes running up the path to their home, whooping out war cries that gain their attention. Ronal is on her feet in an instant, knife still in hand.

“The kids are under attack. They’re defending a tulkun. It’s your kids too!” 

“The demon ship?” Tonowari asks. 

“Yes! Hurry up, we have to move!” Jake leaves you to your own, nearly abandoned marui, returning with weapons of his own. Your spear feels strange in your hands after years of disuse. Hunting has never been something you were suited to but this weapon had become an extension of your body as you blossomed into adulthood. Years of learning the clan’s traditions have given you the strength to wield it but it has never felt as heavy as it does now with anger running in your veins like burning rivers of fire. Whatever peace you’d quieted your mind to was shattered the moment your family was put in danger and the rage rolls through you like thunder. There’s a restlessness in your body like you’re filled with a roiling tide, hands shaking as you grip tight to your weapons until your knuckles pale and your body stills to the lethal stillness of a proper Metkayina warrior. Jake returns just as you duck back into the passing storm. The sky has begun to lighten as the reef fills with the clan and their mounts all screeching out deafening war cries, weapons poised to attack. 

“Come here,” Jake stops you before you can rush past him. His hand linger on your skin after he puts a matching choker around your neck, fingers pushing back your hair as he puts that strange ornament in your ear. 

“Press here when you want to talk.” He says, leading your fingers to the two pads of the necklace. “I’ll be able to hear you wherever you are. Lo’ak has one, too. If we’re apart, hold here and I’ll hear you.” He holds your gaze for a beat longer, speaking without words. He’s afraid. He’s angry. The man before you is no longer just Jakesully. He is truly Toruk Makto. 

“Come. We must hurry.” You push past him to call for your tsurak. These demons have trampled their way across Pandora and arrived so near to your home. And now they’ve threatened your childrens’ lives. The lives of your niece and nephew. After killing Ronal’s spirit sister. A need to avenge laces through your body like bolts of white lightning, sharp, bitter, and burning as you add your own shrieking cries to the din. You ride at the head of the party, beside your sister with Jake and Tonowari at your flanks. 

It isn’t long to Three Brothers Rocks, the towering stone fingers appear over the horizon with the demon ship beneath their shadow. It is larger than any human invention you’ve ever seen, like a metal island floating in the waves. It is too far to see every detail but your eyes catch the unfocused shapes of humans skittering across the ship like bugs, their faces covered in those familiar shells. It wouldn’t take much to break it, to fill their lungs with the air of your planet. So much of Pandora is hostile even to natives and yet they think they can tame her. Soon they will learn. Some lessons must be taught more than once. 

“They’ve got our kids.” Jake says. “Your daughter. Tuk. Lo’ak.” Tonowari growls, voice scorched with hostility. Ronal’s hiss is nearly a whimper, nearly identical to your own. 

“Jake,” a voice crackles to life in your ear, sounding far off and nothing like Lo’ak’s. You press the strange piece of metal closer to your ear as the voice continues. They’re speaking English and you haven’t learned nearly enough from Jake and the children to fully grasp what’s being said. Only a few stray words are recognized. 

“What is he saying?” You ask, eyes flitting desperately between Jake and the ship. Whoever it is means to harm your family. That much you know even without understanding every word. Everyone’s eyes fall to Jake. 

“Hold here.” He says at last. 

“They are killers of tulkun.” Tonowari stops him before he can go further. “They must die. Here. Today.” These murderers must restore the great balance with their own blood. A thousand of their lives are less valued here than one of a single tulkun. The killing of even one was a declaration of war. No more lives will fall to their greed. Not if you can kill them where they stand. 

“It’s me that they want. That’s what all this has been about. Let me do this.”

“You brought this upon us!” Ronal bites out. Her gaze flickers between you and your mate as if unsure of who her anger should scorch first. It was you that spoke for him when she wanted to deny his family sanctuary. This could have been avoided had you held your tongue. But whatever happens, this is the path you’ve chosen to walk. It seems Jake has accepted his fate as well. 

“It’s me that has to do this.” The voice returns but none of his words make sense. Jake’s voice echoes in your ear as he answers, English flowing easily from his tongue. He gives you a parting glance before leading his tsurak forward. 

“Jake!” Ronal stops you from following with her spear across your stomach. 

“You stay. He has brought this storm over our heads. Let him be the one to quell it.” Your sister says. Her eyes hold flecks of sympathy but it is overshadowed by her need to protect. She is tsahìk. Eywa has chosen her to keep peace and balance. Jake’s life may be enough to free your children and turn the sawtute away from the Metkayina atolls. It is a sacrifice she is willing to make for peace. 

“Ronal.” You can’t watch your mate give himself over to those demons just as much as you can’t watch your clan fall to their hands. It feels as though your soul is tearing in two. A tsakarem protects her people, protects the great balance. But a mate protects their muntxatu. You grip her spear, ready to push it aside and defy her once more just as something breaks through the waves up ahead. A tulkun rises from the water, crashing down over the demon ship with a ferocious bellow. Payakan. 

The bugs begin to scatter aboard their ship and a screeching war cry tears from your lips, calling the rest of the clan to join. It calls the humans’ attention and they turn their eyes to the clan closing in on them. Teeth bared and weapons raised. 

Their guns are loud. It sounds like a hail of heavy rainfall as they turn their guns on you but they’re nearly silent beneath the water as you urge your tsurak to dive. Their tiny metal arrows hiss through the water in cloudy streams, too slow to do harm even as so many fall around you. It’s as if they’re coming from all sides as the shadows of their smaller boats pass overhead, lit by the red bursts of light that follow each fire of their guns. They’re easy to see and hard to lose. Hunting animals is harder than spotting a human with a gun. You rise from the water as another ship draws in close. One of them shouts as you arc overhead, a pained yowl leaving their lips as your spear tears through their chest. If they were alive when you dove back into the water they’ll die soon enough as you kick their limp body off of your blade. One life has been avenged. Still more to reap. 

The sounds of death fill the air as the ocean is stained with more blood but it hardly brings relief. It is the same as the sound of a wounded animal. A death with a purpose. It is what you remind yourself as their empty eyes gaze up at you before their life is snuffed out. It is for a greater purpose. One they could never understand. The great balance is something these demons could never grasp. Some learn. They haven’t. This is the way. And it is good. 

A hunter strives for clean kills. Needless suffering is not needed to kill a prey. The humans make mercy simple as their soft bodies burst like dropped fruit under your blade, crystal spearhead cleaving through their bodies wherever you strike. They cry out in warbled shouts for only a moment before falling silent. “Please” is a word you recognize but pay no heed to. The tulkun that they murdered surely begged for their lives as well. Your tsurak lets out a shrieking cry as you breach over another boat, its teeth tearing into whatever comes between its jaws. 

Neteyam’s wound pales in comparison to the deep fissures your mount carves out of the human, their skin turning to ribbons in the animal’s sharp teeth. But he isn’t dead. You flinch back as he swings a knife at you, the blade small enough for a child. It feels strange to touch him as you catch his wrist when he swings again. You hadn’t touched Max, hadn’t touched any human. The feeling is strange and new. His body is oddly pliant, soft enough for you to feel his bones shift beneath your fingers as your grip on his wrist tightens until he drops his blade. His eyes are blank of any inner glow–his soul hidden or absent completely–but his face curls in terror as his weapon falls. 

“Txopu rä’ä si, vrrteptsyìp.” He begins to cry, tears shining in his eyes as you yip and plunge your tsurak back into the water. He isn’t dead but he is close enough as blood streaks your mount’s maw. Streams of red fill the water as the clan makes quick work of the humans in the smaller boats, yet they still move with no guide. A burst of heat singes across your skin as an empty boat crashes into a stone outcropping in a cloud of flaming smoke, the metal crumpling like a teylu shell as it folds itself around the black stone. Dark clouds rise from the water where other boats have caught fire, some still carrying screaming sawtute. You watch a hunter rise from the water to meet them as they crawl out of the flames, spear tearing through two at a time before the third is met with his knife. 

Their numbers are becoming fewer, but so are yours as riders are shot from their mounts under the endless downpours of their metal rain. A shout leaps from your lungs as one grazes your arm, hardly enough to truly harm you but it feels like a burning stone has passed over your skin. The ocean stings against the shallow wound as you dive out of danger. The pain is hardly more than a dull prickling but others aren’t as lucky as bodies float around you. Brave warriors lost so that this battle can be won. Each of them will be mourned in turn but not now. You blink away the heat of the tears threatening to rise behind your eyelids and focus on the war still raging just over your head. 

The thin shafts of your spear arrows bend under your tight grip as your eyes find another boat floating overhead. The metal husk is caught in flames as the humans abroad rush to put out the fire. It will be of no use as one of your spear tears through their bodies. Their heads barely turned to the sound of your war cry before screams of their own join yours as blood bursts from their pierced chests. More dead but you may be joining them as a third appears, gun in hand. Your tsurak rears back, catching the shots in its chest. The pain echoes through tsaheylu, carving a burning ache between your ribs as your mount’s jaw closes around the human’s head in a final act of retribution. It rears back with a muffled screech, tossing the three of you out of the flaming boat. You’re only thrown as far as a stone outcropping as tsaheylu breaks and your tswin is freed from the bond. The stony shore scrapes at your skin but you roll to your knees with the momentum. Without your skimwing you’re stranded in the middle of a battle with only a few spear arrows in hand and your knife on your hip. 

The dark stone hardly conceals your vibrant body and you slink back into the water, still keeping close to shore. Smoke fills the air with thick, grayish clouds that blot out the sky and everything has taken on the flickering color of flames. Most of the metal boats are destroyed or empty, a few unmoving bodies still aboard. The demon ship is in flames as well and the humans are scattering to smaller boats. They’re leaving. Abandoning their ship and this war that they’ve called upon themselves. Their shouts echo across the open water but from this distance you could never hope to understand their words. You hope they are laments of defeat and promises of renouncing their attempted claim on Pandora. To continue will only bring them more death at your peoples’ hands. Because more lives have been lost than just tulkun. Their fingers spread across Eywa’eveng like poisonous roots, digging deep and stripping all that they touch. Leaving would be best.

Your head falls back against the rocks behind you, eyes facing the hazy sky. It is nearly eclipse. Soon the battlefield will fall into a blue-lit night. Your eyes will not be burdened by the darkness but humans aren’t so lucky. They should leave, you think tiredly. Return to that distant star in the night sky. Your body aches and your heart hurts. You can’t imagine what more pain they’ll bring if they stay. There’s blood on your hand as you lift it from the water, patches of red that the ocean couldn’t wash away. Your hand trembles as you stare at it, trying to decide if the blood is yours or another’s. It hardly matters as you press your bloody fingers to your throat like Jake showed you. 

“Jake.” Half of you expects your only answer to be silence. Or that unknown voice that stole Lo’ak’s necklace. 

“I hear you.” His voice sings through you. He’s alive. 

“My tsurak is dead. I’ve lost my spear.” Your voice sounds tired even to your own ears. Low and gruff as you inhale another breath of smoky air. Exertion burns in your legs and your tail feels bruised as you keep yourself afloat. The moment of stillness has brought you back to yourself, steadied your mind enough to feel your body. No longer numbed by the instinct to fight, the aches and pains of battle slowly make themselves known until even the tips of your ears are throbbing. But now isn’t the time for pain. There will be time to nurse your wounds once the battle is won. 

“Where are you?” Jake asks, his voice pitching with panic. You move to answer only to stop short as a large shadow swoops overhead. You sink beneath the surface as an ikran flies through the clouds of smoke, a figure hanging in its claws. Their words are muffled beneath the water but you recognize the sound of your daughter’s voice. Jake calls your name, it rings in your ear but you don’t answer. Your spear arrows are tossed ashore as you fill your lungs with acrid air before diving after the banshee. As quick as you are in the water, you’re not nearly as fast as the ikran and you watch from a short distance as Kiri is dropped aboard the demon ship. You rise to take a breath, eyes desperately searching for a way in that isn’t through the throng of demon warriors still leaving the burning ship. A flash of blue catches your eye as two bright silhouettes board the ship, crouching low as they move further inside. Tuk and Tsireya. Now you have two more reasons to board the demons’ ship. 

This metal does not burn when you press your palms against it like it had in your vision at the Ranteng Utralti. Instead it reminds you of stones cooled in the shadows as you leave wet footprints in your wake. Even as the humans disappear the ship has not fallen silent. It groans and shrieks out in a monotonous trill as a red light winks in and out of the flooding rooms. Soon the ocean will swallow it whole and whoever’s left will sink with it. You don’t intend for this place to be your resting place. The humans make it easy as you slink through the underbelly of their ship. Shadows pass over you inattentively. A child has more sense than these demons. Even the uniltìrantokx do not seem to know how to use their bodies. Their ears don’t move toward the muted sound of your footsteps, their nose doesn’t scent the smell of blood clinging to your skin. 

They all simply meander, guns poised loose and useless as you slink past, careful of the debris scattered across the floor. Your silence is unnecessary as the warriors stir up enough noise to cover each of your footsteps. Their voices twitter like birds as they mill around with little regard to your shape moving through the shadows just beyond their sight. Their voices echo through the metal walls along with that shrieking noise. It keeps time like a drum as your eyes search for the children in every space you pass. There are so few people still aboard that their voices stand out in the din of the sinking ship. Soft and frantic rather than loud and self-assured. You move towards the sound of their voices like a stalking nantang, your fingertips pressing into the floor as you move on all fours. Your hand finds a broken piece of the ship. Thin and hollowed, the ends broken to jagged points. It’s not nearly long enough to mimic a spear but the shape and weight of it offers some reassurance as you emerge from the shadows, keen on getting the girls off this demon ship. 

Tsireya and Tuk are crouched next to Kiri, trying to cut her free. You wait for the next beat of the ship’s shrieking before letting out a sharp yip. Kiri’s ear twitches towards the sound. You match another shriek with your own, your voice ringing out in time with the strange noise. Tuk jumps, eyes looking around as she hears your voice echo through the air. 

“It’s Sa’nu!” She says quietly. Kiri nods, shifting restlessly as Tsireya’s knife makes little progress on her bindings. 

“Cut it here.” Kiri corrects her, holding out the thin orange material as best she can. All their heads are bowed low, watching the bindings begin to give. You move towards them slowly, only stopping as more humans and uniltìrantokx come into view. You leap from the large metal box you’d been crouched upon, bringing your makeshift spear down hard on a warrior’s head. It makes a sickening cracking sound as blood rushes to the surface of their cropped hair. You swing again and their mask shatters, blood bursting from their crumpled nose. He gasps for air and you watch as Pandora poisons his lungs before moving on to the next. An uniltìrantokx raises their gun and you duck away from the hail of their fire to the sound of Tuk calling for you. A voice follows hers. One that is vaguely familiar. The same voice that has buzzed in your ear before the battle began. 

I want her, you recognize the words if only barely. Alive. The guns fall silent. You dare to glance towards the girls only to see an uniltìrantokx grab Tsireya’s wrist and toss her off a ledge. The breath stills in your lungs as you pray to not hear the horrible sound of your niece’s body landing far below. Instead there’s a splash. He’s tossed her overboard. Thrown her to safety. The voice speaks again and you hear one of your girls hiss. 

“Are you a Sully?” The voice shouts in broken Na’vi. A child is more eloquent and you don’t deign to answer. You aren’t called Sully. It isn’t your family name. But Jake has told you that human traditions are different. You would not be called mates on Earth. You’d be married and he’d give you his name. But you are not on Earth and he is no longer human. Such things mean nothing here. 

“Demon!” You shout back. “Release my children.” It’s doubtful that he understands Na’vi any more than you understand his Earth language, but you won’t embarrass yourself as he has by struggling to string words together. 

“You are a Sully.” He says with a mirthful tone. His next words seem to be directed towards the people around him and you tense for another rain of gunfire. Instead there’s the echoing thud of their heavy foot-coverings against the creaking metal floor as they seem to close in. The sounds are muted but your ears have learned to recognize even the smallest noises. Even the faintest snap of a twig in the forest could mean death if you aren’t an attentive hunter. It has never been your strongest suit but as the smell of their sweat begins to fill your nose as your ears twitch towards each new footfall you realize your weakest trait is still stronger than whatever they’re capable of. At least you hope it is. When the first warrior rounds the bend towards you you’re poised and waiting. His legs buckle as you sweep them from beneath him with a swift kick. He lands with a shout, his gun jumping from his hand. You kick it further from his reach as you round on the next target. A human warrior. Easier to deal with. He’s learned from the last human warrior you took down and ducks when you swing towards his head with your metal spear. You swing again, lower than he can duck and slash open the thick armor over his chest. It spills out white fibers that float like pollen in the air. 

The uniltìrantokx–their leader it would seem–barks another order and more of his warriors descend upon you like a cloud blocking out the sun. There are a few more wounds inflicted by your hand before you’re disarmed, someone’s arms hooked beneath yours with their hands clasped behind your head. You feel their knitted fingers digging into your skull, pressing against your tswin.  A hiss falls from your lips as he catches your thrashing tail between his legs when you manage to swing your hips and knock back a human that moved too close. The pain is a dull ache that thrums at the base of your spine but it doesn’t stop you from kicking as you’re dragged from your secluded corner into the full light of the fading sun. Eclipse is approaching fast and the warm light spills across the sinking ship, all of its metal innards limned in firelight. The uniltìrantokx that has you in his grip laughs as you thrash in his arms, flexing his arms to tighten his hold on you. You feel like a freshly caught fish dangling in a fisherman’s net. A snarl finds your lips to mask the shame as the leader of this war band approaches you with the saunter of a seasoned warrior despite his young appearance. He shouldn’t be so assured as he leans down to meet your gaze. 

“You are Jake’s woman, yes? Mate?” He asks. Whoever this man is, he knows Jake. Your mate never spoke of the war that he won all those years ago. The songs only praise Jake. He is Toruk Makto. A dreamwalker that became one of the People. But this man carrying himself as if he is a true Na’vi, wearing the skin of your people, must have been a part of the story he’s never told. From the time before the songs begin. He asks again, slower, as if you’re a child needing time to understand. As if he isn’t the one speaking like a baby. 

“Yes.” You bite out in English. That word you know. 

He huffs out a dry chuckle, “Good.” The smile that finds his lips is nothing short of predatory, his fangs catching the flashing light of the ship. He stands back to his full height and nods to the man still holding you back from attacking this uniltìrantokx with teeth and claws. The warrior at your back drags you to the ledge where Kiri and Tuk are bound and kicks at the back of your knees. You’re expecting it and your knees buckle but you don’t fall. He kicks again, harder this time, and you go down with a shout. But he doesn’t bind you as he did the children. Instead their strange orange binding is lashed to your upper arm, luckily leaving your injured arm free. You tug against the restraint as he ties you to the ship and the material bites into your skin. If you pull hard enough you’ll bleed where the edges dig into the rippling shapes decorating your arm. Tuk is quick to move towards you, tucking her body as close to your chest as her bound arms will allow. Kiri moves closer behind until she’s leaning against your back as you hug Tuk to your chest. 

“Sa’nok, your knife.” Kiri whispers. The warriors are inattentive, talking amongst themselves as if you’re of no threat to them. They hadn’t even bothered to disarm you or even search for any weapons. Perhaps they expect your comparatively sparse coverings to be incapable of concealing anything. And yet they’ve missed the knife still sheathed behind you, hidden beneath the thick waves of your damp hair. With a free arm and a weapon you could break free of your bindings but how quick would these demons fall upon you and your daughters. You only managed to fight against them for a few moments, injuring only a few before you were caught. Perhaps you could free Tuk and Kiri but they seem to think they need the three of you. Need people tied to Jake. 

“Not yet.” You try to keep the exhaustion from your voice as you squint against a sudden burst of light as eclipse closes in. A blue glow overtakes the last dregs of the amber glow of the sun and your skin flickers to life. The humans seem to draw in closer to each other, weary of the night even as the ship is still filled with false torchlight. Only their leader still stands alone. He guards the empty space between you and his warriors as you keep close to your children. His footfalls don’t have the same weight to them as he paces barefoot across the groaning metal. The pool behind you is steadily filling with water. The ship is sinking and if you don’t move soon it will take you and your girls with it. Your fingers twitch, eager to grab your blade, only stopped when the leader begins to speak again. Half of his words are lost to you but some are caught with the small knowledge you’ve collected. 

“I’ve got your daughters.” He sounds proud, taunting. “I’ve got your woman.” You hiss but keep still as the warriors turn towards the sound of your protest. They don’t look so worried now. The woman among them, arms covered in colorful tattoos, chuckles. She pushes out her bottom lip like a disgruntled child, mocking you. You bare your fangs with a snarl and she returns the gesture, though her hiss is hardly intimidating. Kiri snorts softly beside you, equally as unimpressed with these false-bodied warriors. The lead uniltìrantokx keeps up his taunting but your focus stays on the female warrior as her tail curls playfully behind her. She’s enjoying this. 

“You will never be one of the People.” You mutter. She snorts at that. Her jovial disposition disturbs you. You’ve taken many lives today but you took pleasure in none of it. It is the same as hunting. These kills were a necessity. This dreamwalker seems content to cause harm for her pleasure. You can See it in her eyes. Human eyes are empty. But she isn’t entirely human anymore. It’s barely a flicker of light but you catch the thread of amusement and it curls in your stomach like acid. Demons. All of them. She only looks away when one of them barks out some clipped words and they all begin to move in step, perching with their guns raised as they wait for something. No, someone. Their lively mood drops into a somber silence as they lie in wait for Jake. Even the humans know to fear Toruk Makto. 

Their leader’s mood hasn’t shifted. He still sounds so assured as his voice hums in your ear. He hasn’t moved out of your line of sight as the others have and he’s gone back to pacing as they wait. He says something you don’t quite understand but Tuk and Kiri do. Your youngest looks up at you with eyes full of fear. Whatever he’s said has scared her. She looks under your arm towards the rapidly rising water that’s slowly filling the room below, overtaking the limits of the pool. Her breathing picks up as she shifts anxiously. You draw her head against your chest, letting her listen to the steady beat of your heart only for it to stutter as you hear his next words. 

“Your boy didn’t have to die.” It’s hardly understood but it settles like stones in your heart. 

Your boy, he said. Die. Your eyes cut towards him, ears drawn tight to your skull as the words echo in your head. Your boy. Die. One of your sons has died. Neteyam is dead. Lo’ak is dead. Your son is dead. Your boy is dead. 

Your breaths begin to come in huffs like a chuffing pale as you breathe deep through your nose. It does little to soothe your anger but it’s all you can hear. Your labored breath and your heated blood rushing through your ears. Your heart beat thuds steadily like the beat of a drum. Keeping time as you draw your knife from behind your back. The crystal blade cuts through your bindings with ease. You’re free. The man is still talking, eyes looking towards the horizon as he taunts your mate. His voice is still in your ear but you can hardly hear anything outside of yourself. It’s only the sound of your breath, the beat of your heart. There are no thoughts in your head and yet your body moves. You feel yourself taking staggering steps towards the uniltìrantokx, your knife gripped tight in hand. Heat drips down your cheeks as your vision swirls. The man before you wavers as tears cloud your vision, his back still towards you. He doesn’t hear your footsteps, doesn’t feel the waves of rage cresting over him as your shadow flickers across his back. You raise your blade to strike only to be swept off your feet and tossed away from him. 

For a moment, you’re weightless. Then your body is met with the floor. Pain throbs through your back as scraps of the ship dig into your spine. The space above you swoops and dives like a bird before settling as your vision steadies with a dull throb thrumming in the back of your head. But the pain hardly touches you. It feels like when you fell from a tree as a child. The air is punched from your lungs and you roll to your knees with heaving breaths. Whatever that was has thrown you into a lower area of the ship. Your fingers sift through blood and those same crystal shards from your vision as you push yourself upright, stumbling only slightly. The tiny chips dig into the soles of your feet as you retrace your steps to get back to your daughters. Too much has been lost. You can’t lose anything else. Not today. You find your knife and then a lost spear as you move through the ship. It’s sized to someone taller than you but it will do fine as you follow the shadows moving through the smoke and fire. 

They no longer look like people. Even the uniltìrantokx begin to lose shape in your eyes, becoming faceless entities. Empty and spiritless. Abominations. Demons. Disgusting mockeries of your People meant to be killed without mercy. You will show them none. The ground is hot beneath your feet, metal finally beginning to burn after another fire burst to life. It’s startled the last threads of the human plague and you’ll use their fear against them. 

The clouds of smoke and dimmed light hides you in plain sight. A spine is separated, ribs shattered, as your spear cleaves through the back of an uniltìrantokx. They shout, spewing out blood. It splatters across your face like warm rain as you heave the spear over your head, tossing their body off of your blade. The rest of the bugs are scattering under the light of the flaming rain. Another bursts open as you leap from the darkness. One end of the spear kills one and with a twirl the other end tears through another. The little ones are easier to kill even as they point their guns at you. You swing up and open one of them from groin to face, shattering their mask before pushing them aside to find something else to kill. A shadow moves behind you but they don’t feel faceless. You know their presence. Another hail of gunfire illuminates the silhouette in bursts of reddish light. He only glances at you for a second before throwing a spear of his own at you. You duck with a hiss as it flies past you, landing with a wet thud as it finds the stomach of another uniltìrantokx just behind you. His hands close around the shaft, fingers knotted tight as he tries to pull it out before going limp. When you turn, whoever threw the spear is already gone. Something tugs at your heart and the haze settled over your mind shifts for only a moment before snapping back into place as guns fire forehead. 

Arrows would be better. Would keep you further from the touch of these demons, but the spear is all you have. You swing with vengeful shouts that grate in your throat, burning as smoke fills your lungs. Three more. They turn to the sound of your landing. Tiny things. Easily killed. One. Two. Three. The third gets stuck on your spear, his hands blood-slicked hands clawing at the wood as your foot presses into his stomach. He won’t be moved. Your knife finds his throat to silence his screams. A mercy he shouldn’t be afforded. One moves behind you, crawling as he clutches the wound you’ve cleaved through his side. It’s leaking rivers of blood so thick that survival will be impossible and yet you can’t stop yourself from leaping onto his back. His frail body gives way under your weight and you finish him with your blade in his back. Puncturing through his lungs as you would an animal. That is all these things are. Invasive animals. A scourge needing to be held at bay. 

A hand meets your shoulder and you hardly move as they try to pull you away from the body still trapped beneath you. When you turn the force of it throws them aside. Another tawtute. Another vrrtep. You hiss, or perhaps you scream. It may be both as your knife tears through their soft body. Once. Twice. Again and again until your hand is wet with their blood. Their eyes are empty of anything as you scream. How dare they touch you. Touch your son. Your planet. You shriek and it shatters through the air like a crash of thunder. Everything has gone still. The air crackles with the sound of fire, embers still falling through the darkness as the ship groans lowly. Metal. Dead earth. Everything around you is dead. And yet it is not enough. Your eyes drag through the darkness, looking for any sign of life. There’s no direction to your footsteps as you stagger through the water and blood splatters underfoot but you find your spear, still stuck in the collapsed human. You set your weight on his stomach and his blood rushes between your toes as you wrench the weapon from his prone body. It tears free with a crack, the blue crystal blade hanging loose and useless where the shaft has snapped in the middle. It hits the ground with a dull ring as you let it slip from your fingers. Knife still in hand you stagger through the darkness in search of… something. Your mind has gone blank. As clouded as the smoke swirling around you. You follow the sound of voices. Eyes fixed ahead. Half of the ship has been lost to the water and it feels like the gentlest kiss as you wade towards the figures still wavering in your eyes. Your mind begins to steady as your senses return. 

You can smell blood and the ocean. Feel the waves against your skin. Hear the words being spoken. 

“–don’t hurt her!” Your eyes find the figure of a small human. Blue streaks across his pale skin, most of it exposed save for the tewng he is wearing. There are beads in his loc’d hair. A strange mix of human and Na’vi as the pack on his back hisses minutely as he speaks. The beads of his armband shift as you grab him with enough force that he spins to face you. 

“Vrrteptsyìp!” You snarl at him. His brown eyes widen as he stares up at you. Your fingers tighten around your knife as you raise it to strike only to stop as he keeps his eyes on you. Fear. It’s as clear as Naranawm shining overhead. He’s afraid. And you can see it in his eyes. You can See it. 

“What trick is this?” You hiss, the point of your blade biting into his neck. A trail of blood blooms and falls, streaking through the blue stripes that mark his body like war paint. 

“Sa’nok, don’t kill him! Please, don’t kill him.” Kiri begs. The uniltìrantokx holding her beneath his knife says something. His eyes fixed on you. They’re empty. But his tone sounds shaken. As if he is forcing himself to stay calm and flippant as he has been. But his eyes don’t move from you or the tawtute still in your grasp. With a curious tilt of your head you drag your knife away from his neck, not lifting from his skin as you poise it at his chest. The uniltìrantokx shifts in a way he probably does recognize. This body is not his own. It was stolen. But you know. A tsakarem Sees all. His tail moves, curling nervously behind him as his jaw flickers. There’s a threat in his bared teeth. And it’s one you recognize. Because it’s mirrored in your own face as you watch his knife draw blood from your daughter’s skin. Whoever this little human is, he’s important to the uniltìrantokx. You hiss again and feel the breathing system on the boy’s back stutter as he heaves an uneven breath. Your blade slashes across his chest with the gentlest pressure, just enough to break his skin. 

“I cut.” You string together those two words in accented English. Kiri has asked you not to kill him, and you won’t. He is probably the Spider she’s spoken so fondly of. For your daughter, his life will not end by your hand. But this demon doesn’t know that. You raise your knife over your head with a shriek, staring into the child’s terrified gaze as you wonder how a piece of Pandora has found its way inside a human. The threat is enough and the uniltìrantokx drops his blade, tossing Kiri towards Jake. You’re gentler with the human as you release your bruising grip. Kiri stumbles to her feet as Jake leads her and Kiri towards where you stand. You’re still a bit hazy, still unsteady as grief floods your chest, and your feet don’t move even in the face of victory. The uniltìrantokx says something that you don’t understand but the word “death” is met with a snarl as you bare your fangs at him. 

A hand finds your arm. Small and gentle as they pull you towards the water. 

“Sa’nu, come on. Please. Sa’nu!” Tuk says quietly, clinging to your side.

“Sa’nok!” Kiri pleads as you finally realize the battle is over. Your children are free. The humans are dead. You can leave this place. Jake says your name evenly, still crouched in front of you. He hasn’t accepted this victory either. 

“Get them out of here.” It’s an order. Spoken with the voice of a legendary warrior. Your feet begin to move. The water sings to life with pale blue syuratan as you all slip off the sunken edge of the demon ship. The last demon is still talking, knife poised for a fight. And Jake hasn’t moved. Kiri warily calls for him, but her words go unheeded as Jake lunges at the uniltìrantokx.

“Jake!” You cry out for your mate but your attention is called away by the sound of something bursting. Fire fills the water, arcing towards the ship in lashing tongues of orange light. 

“Get back to the ship. Swim. Now.” The ship is finally succumbing to the ocean, spewing out dark liquid as the fires aboard eat through the last of its integrity. Water rushes up with you as you and the children clamber back onto the ship. Tuk clings to your hand as her small legs buckle in the push of the waves. She screams as she loses her footing and falls deeper into the ship as a waterfall forms at the edge of an opening. There isn’t a thought in your mind as you dive in after her. No thoughts as you push her ahead of yourself. She shouts at you to open things, heavy swinging pieces of the wall that come open as you pull. Until they don’t. You tug at another place where a shape is cut into the wall, a handle jutting out for you to pull. But the ocean presses in as you pull out and the wall seals itself before you can push Tuk through the small opening. 

“There’s no way out!” She screams, round eyes searching frantically for any place to go, but the light is beginning to wane. Winking in and out until it begins to dim like a dying fire. 

“Sa’nu, I’m scared.” She whimpers. 

“It is alright. Stay close to me.” You pull her closer, fingers weaving through her braids as she buries her face in your neck. The water rises around you as the darkness closes in. You pray for the Great Mother’s mercy. To save you and your daughter. And then only your daughter. Just Tuk, you beg within your heart. Please, save ma Tuktirey. For a moment there is nothing. No shift within your heart as there usually is when the Great Mother breathes her will into you. There’s nothing but darkness until a dot of yellow light appears. And then another and another, like stars as seeds of the Ranteng Utralti fill the water with warm light. A dark figure swims among them, rising to meet you as you hold out your hand. 

“Kiri!” Tuk leans into her touch as her free hand finds her cheek. 

“Everything is going to be alright, tsmuke. Follow me.” The yellow light guides the way through the flooded ship as you follow behind your daughters. The open ocean is a blessed sight as you follow the starlight to the surface. It isn’t the longest breath you’ve taken but the anxiety twisting in your chest nearly punches the air from your lungs and you take in gasping breaths as you swim towards the shape of a tulkun floating nearby. Payakan. Jake and Lo’ak cling to one of his fins, beckoning the three of you closer. 

“Come. Come here.” Lo’ak pants, holding his hand out towards Kiri. Their five fingered hands intertwine as Kiri pulls Tuk closer to her. Lo’ak is alive. He is alive and safe and breathing. Tears burn anew in your eyes. Neteyam is dead. Your son is dead. It emptied your head of all other thoughts, empties your heart of all other feelings. You go still in the water, barely kicking your feet as the thought washes over you. Perhaps you begin to sink but Jake pulls you towards him before your head dips back into the water. His arm wraps tight around you until even the water can’t reach the space between you.

“Thank you, Great Mother.” You whisper it again and again until you aren’t sure if you’re saying it aloud or in your heart. Thank you. 

ɴᴀ’ᴠɪ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs

Nawmtu – great person (honorific)

Spono alusìng – floating island (speculative)

Hì’ikran – dorado verde, small ikran (speculative)

Kawngtu – bad person, “bad guy”

Naranawm – Polyphemus, the planet Pandora orbits

Syuratan – bioluminescence

Taronway – hunt songs

Muntxatu – mate

Txopu rä'ä si, vrrteptsyìp. – don’t be afraid, little demon

Teylu – a grub, similar to a jumbo shrimp

Tswin – neural braid

Vrrtep – demon

Tewng – loincloth

Tawtute, Sawtute – sky person, sky people

Ranteng Utralti – Spirit Tree

’Itan – son

[retroanimechris]

I recently archived another purchase I made while in Hyogo, which was this very unique copy book from the Mobile Suit Gundam F.C. known as "Side 3". This was a zine made specifically for and by queer Gundam fans and is one of the rarest I own. To view the archives, you can visit the links below:

Website backup:

Information and further talks with M about queer Gundam fans: https://retroanimechris.blogspot.com/2024/07/my-visit-with-m-part-4-gundam-fc-side-3.html

MEGA:

https://mega.nz/folder/Opl1XBCQ#fdwKCdZguW9uXXGkQXBnug

Sad Panda: https://e-hentai.org/g/2978913/497d1e1b47/ [R18]

Internet Archive:

[beanieman]

Assigning You A Liminal Space Based On Your Favorite YTTD Character

Sara Chidouin - A classroom where words appear on the chalkboard every half hour. Sometimes they tell of false hints and other times they ask why you came here. There's a knife in the middle desk.

Joe Tazuna - An endless metal tunnel where you can see light at the end. It always glows a different color and you feel like you're getting farther away the longer you walk. You can hear a dog barking beyond the "exit."

Gin Ibushi - An animal shelter that smells like wet dog. In the upper left corner there's a pile of stuffed animal that you can use as a bed. Sometimes they come to life.

Keiji Shinogi - An airport that feels just slightly too humid. Out of the corner of your eye you can see visions of the dead. It's always 3AM.

Alice Yabusame - The hallway of your childhood that's filled with family photos and the smell of something you can't quite place but fills you with nostalgia. No matter how far you walk the path things stay the same.

More Undercut

Reko Yabusame - A mall where a new store opens every hour. It's never similar to one that you've seen before. It looks like light is streaming from somewhere, but you can't see any windows or doors. The bitter smell lingers in the air.

Nao Egokoro - A train where little snacks and drinks are sat upon the table. You aren't sure where you're going, but it seems like you have a destination. It's a little too cold but there's a blanket under one of the seats.

Kazumi Mishima - The room is totally empty expect for chalk on the floor. The walls are chalkboards so you can draw or write your thoughts. Too bad you can't do anything else.

Q-taro Burgerberg - An empty stadium that's closed off from overhead. You hear cheers and boos from an audience you not see as if you're the only one invisible. There's a popcorn and slushy maker at the top bleacher.

Kai Satou - A grocery store that smells oddly like plastic and seems to restock itself. You haven't seen any employees, but you feel like they're in the vicinity.

Kanna Kizuchi - An endless hallway where flowers grow up to your knees. Sometimes it feels like they're wrapping around your ankles and trying to drag you down, but you can pull them off with enough might. Some flowers smell like pudding, and the others smell like metal.

Shin Tsukimi - A convivence store filled with neon lights where the air is thick and it feels hard to breath. Exits sometimes appear only to disappear right before you reach them.

Dolls

Ranmaru Kageyama - A doorway with a black void at both sides. No matter which way you go or how far you run you'll always end up back in the same place.

Naomichi Kurumada - An indoor pool where the smell of chlorine hits your nose and makes you dizzy. There's floats for you to lounge on if you get tired, along with dive rings if you're up for a challenge. Just don't go too far down or you might think you've found an exit and won your escape...

Anzu Kinashi - A circus tent that's one big circle. Music played by horns and trumpets ring in your ears and you can vaguely taste the flavor of cotton candy. A clown is watching you but you'll never know as he always disappears before you turn around.

Mai Tsurugi - A bakery that only has one small lamp by the counter. There's a tip jar that shows you an exit if you put in enough coins, but it vanishes just as fast as it appeared. This is a metaphor for capitalism.

Shunsuke Hayasaka - A library that makes you forget your name and where you came from. You aren't sure which books you've read and which you've forgotten. There's a papercut on your finger. You aren't sure how you got it.

Hinako Mishuku - The place is indistinguishable. You don't know where you are or how you got here. It's dark and none of your scents work properly. All you can wonder is if you're actually dead. You know it's some kind of room because every once in awhile you run into a wall. You didn't know you were in a room.

[bonecarve]

STATS,

NAME. takuma ino note. most people refer to him by his first name rather than his family name, regardless of familiarity. he is also frequently called ino-kun rather than ino-san. AGE. twenty-one BIRTHPLACE. yokohama, japan BIRTH DATE. may 17 ETHNICITY. mixed ( japanese-asian mother, american-caucasian father ) FAMILY. takuma mayumi ( mother ), corey walker ( father ), takuma eito ( older brother ), takuma nao ( eldest brother ) PROFESSION. jujutsu sorcerer AFFILIATION. tokyo metropolitan curse technical college CLASSIFICATION. second grade TECHNIQUE. mediumship ( spirit summoning )

HAIR COLOUR. brown, worn in a mid-length shag EYE COLOUR. brown HEIGHT. 5’7, or 170cm SKIN. freckles along the bridge of his nose BUILD. lean-athletic, favouring agility over strength PIERCINGS. nose, earlobe ( three times on the left side, twice on the right ) DRESSING STYLE. streetwear. dark colours. oversized and baggy clothes (shorts and short-sleeves, privately; long sleeves and pants, professionally). beanies. sneakers. layers. NOTABLE SCARS. large scar across the left side of his forehead. thin scar beneath his right eye, along the orbital bone.  OTHER. ino permanently lost the use of his right eye following his altercation with fushiguro tōji. ( note: the manga implies that ieiri shoko was able to regenerate his eye in some way. i'm choosing to retcon this. )

MORAL ALIGNMENT. lawful good with chaotic tendencies PERSONALITY TYPE. esfj — the consul ( extroverted, observant, feeling, judging ) DEFINING TRAITS. adaptable, naive, optimistic, insecure, caring, altruistic.

BIOGRAPHY,

tba. cool mom raises cool sons. immigrant father fails to assimilate and dips out back to america</3 the whole family would’ve gone together, but SOMEONE had to manifest the legacy cursed technique. mayumi and the boys stay in japan; corey becomes a long-distance father. um. there’s more to it than that. i’ll write it out eventually xoxo

TRIVIA,

ino was the only sorcerer in his graduating class. because of this, his ties to the college proper are perhaps a little looser than those of his peers

he is a legacy sorcerer on his mother’s side, but the takuma cursed technique skipped several generations before manifesting in ino. it did not manifest in his elder siblings

other than nanami, he prefers to spend his time with non-sorcerers. all of his friends are non-sorcerers who ( up until the aftermath of the shibuya incident ) cannot perceive curses or cursed energy. this is an intentional effort on his part. because the job is so emotionally and mentally taxing — and because the risk of losing comrades is so high — he surrounds himself with people and places unrelated to jujutsu culture

he’s an accomplished athlete in tokyo’s skateboarding subculture

tbh he’s garnered a bit of a reputation for being a partier. this guy loves a drinking game. don’t challenge him to a round of pong — you will lose

ino has a fascination with american (rap) culture due to the lingering influence of his absent father and a subconscious desire to feel closer to him

he’s constantly rocking airpods, but they’re hardly ever visible beneath his hat and hair. if you say something to him and he acts like he hasn’t heard it — it’s not an act. he really can’t hear shit past the earbuds

after losing the vision in his right eye, he struggles with balance and depth-perception; however, his channelling abilities have improved. due to his partial blindness, he spends several months post-shibuya remastering his martial art and skateboarding skills

VERSES,

CANON. compliant with current manga developments. in theory i have more to say about it than this. in practice i currently don’t tbh please hold. 

URBAN FANTASY. ino is a medium with the power to summon spirits and channel their respective abilities. while he originally treats these as a party-trick of sorts (à la talk to me), he eventually comes to harness them as a force for good. he daylights as a skateshop employee and moonlights as a vigilante with an unconventional set of abilities, living life with one foot in reality and the other in the spirit realm. ino could probably do more good than he does — have a greater impact against the evils of the world than he does — but he tends toward minimizing his own potential and settling for less.

DEVELOPMENT,

faceclaim

tba

[guardian-of-fandoms]

Rescue Bots as Ducktales 2017

Kade: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Dani: Aww, that never bothered you before.

-

Cody: Great party, can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when i’m older, BYEEEEEEEEE

-

Frankie: To the Naos! That’s greek for temple.

Cody: Okay, stop assuming i know things. Like, base line, assume i know nothing. 

-

Graham: Are you saying Kade would rather eat us than hot dogs?

Kade: I do hate hot dogs...

-

Cody: We’re.. okay?

Dani: Oh my gosh, no magic can kill me I’M THE CHOSEN ONE!

-

Graham: Please, not everything is a dark family secret!

Charlie: KIds, i’ve got a dark family secret.

-

Heatwave: Cody’s crashed so many times, i’m convined he may be immortal!

-

Cody: Do you know how many evil robots i have faced?! HAHAHAHAHA too many....

-

Kade: TREASURE!

Dani: ADVENTURE!

Graham: HISTORACAL ACCURACY!

-

Chase, playing detective: Look what the Cat dragged in.

Dani: ... You asked me to come here???

-

Kade: Dad won’t even let me touch the toaster!

-

Dani: His life is like a Haiku!

Kade: Yeah, it’s fake garbage that structurally makes no sense, He’s obviously lying!

-

Graham: You know who my best friend is?

Kade: Me!

Graham: Sleep.

Kade: (offended gasp)

-

Kade: IF I DON’T MAKE IT TELL MY SIBLINGS I WAS THE BEST ONE!

-

Dani: Sure, i’m not the best at cooking, or age appropriate stories, or child endangerment,  BUT NOBODY’S PERFECT!

-

Cody: Talking animals wearing clothes!

Kade: Oh no, did we die? are we in cody heaven?

-

Cody: He tried to kidnap me, so i trapped him in an improvised ball pit snare trap.

Frankie: Alright!

-

Dani: Make our markes on the world!

Kade: Not have to answer to anyone!

Cody: Be horribly alone.

-

Graham: I’m still not counting out a Methane Gas Leak.

Dani: NOT EVERYTHING IS A METHANE GAS LEAK

-

Cody: You... realize there’s a difference between quitting and dying, right?

Dani: Not to me.

-

Kade: Heatwave, who’s side are you on?!

Heatwave: Oh, neither, this is just way more entertaining to me than that movie.

-

Woodrow: Just because it’s a myth dosen’t mean it’s not true!

Graham: Well, actutally....

-

Woodrow: That’s what they want you to think!

Charlie: Who is “they”?

Woodrow: Exactly...

Charlie: ... what?

-

Graham: Are we supposed to examine every rock in this tunnel?! ... actually, that sounds pretty fun- WAIT THAT’S NOT THE POINT

-

Kade: WAIT YOU WERE TRYING TO HELP HIM KILL US?!

Dani: If i’m gonna be sacrifed, i wanna do it right!

-

Heatwave: Most kids wouldn’t get this excited over impending doom. Kade usually just cries.

-

Doc Greene: SHUT UP EVERYONE, I’VE DONE SOMETHING BRILLIANT!

-

Doctor Morocco: STOP LAUGHING! I’ve wasted an entire reel of film, and you’re not even in frame!

-

Frankie: Do you think i put glitter on my top secret notebooks just because it’s pretty?

Cody: (sheepishly nods with glitter covered hands)

Frankie: Well, sure, it’s a perk, but-

-

Charlie: I’ll be in my office if you need me. please don’t need me.

-

Graham: oooooooh, do i spy some Shale?

Dani: how is that better than subway monsters?

-

Kade: I’ll try to listen to you next time, and not, y’know, pull a kade.

Heatwave: Seriously, that’s a thing now?

Kade: It’s all about branding.

-

Blades: It’s a cautionary tale on Mole Monsters! And everyone could use a lesson on chainsaw saftey!

-

Cody: This appears in like all of my dreams. i’m cradeling a moon made of my own tears???? who knows what that’s about.

Frankie: ... i have some theories.

-

Chase: I’m afraid that dosen’t belong to you, Evan and Miles!

Miles: I’m afraid i don’t care!

-

Frankie: Then i shall keep your secret, for i believe in science. but i also belive... IN LOOOOVVVEE!!!

-

Charlie: Where’s kade?

Dani: Sleeping.

Graham: Who’s kade?

Dani: (slowly looks over at graham)

(charlie runs off)

Dani: ... WHO’S KADE?!

-

Graham: Do you need me to get a briefcase?! ‘Cause i can go get one, and become the vice president of being Chill! ‘Cause i’m chill!!! I’m straight chilling!!! LIKE A VILLAIN, EVEN!!!! (manic laughter)

Kade: Oh no graham’s broken...

-

Woodrow: I guess you could say i’m well versed in the custodial sciences, hehe...

Cody: ... WE TRUSTED YOU!!!! CAME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, GOT ATTACKED BY A SQUID!!! 

[anulithots]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

I haven't been asked this question before, so thank you for asking!

I'm not sure if I'm going to run over ten, so I'll include duos/dynamics as well. (That was a mistake.. this is soo longggg. Thank you so much for asking but I don't think you knew what you were getting into. /pos.)

(In no particular order.... and I've written a lot about most of these characters, sorry if it's a bit long <3 )

Just a note that my JJK analysis's are up to the Hidden Inventory arc. I keep rereading that one to avoid the pain of the Shibuya arc... but I should be on my last reread for now!

Character quick list:

Donnie and Mikey from Rise,

Teacher and Shiva from The Girl from the Other SIde,

Itadori yuji, Megumi Fushiguro, and Nobara Kugisaki from Jujutsu Kaisen,

Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto from Jujutsu Kaisen

Inej Ghafa and Jesper Fahley (sorry if I spelled thier names wrong!) from Six of Crows

Emma, Norman and Ray from The Promised Neverland

And I really liked Roz from the Wild Robot, and The Magnus Chase series, but It's been a while since I've read them. Currently reading 'A tale for the Time Being' and I like Nao's deep thoughts and unabashed honesty. She's also quite dark and casual about dark themes, and it does feel like how my brain used to be... dark stuff is casual there.

I do like Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games. I watched the movies but have not read the books yet, and I want to before I start analyzing. I also want to read Sherlock Holmes so... yea.

#1: Donnie and Mikey from Rise of the Teenage mutant ninja turtles

Donnie is literally me. From the way he pronounces random words from his theater kid energy to his obsession with science. (I don't like physics but I'm writing a fanfiction on biology soooo....) I have a need to be useful otherwise I'm wasted space (because the information is more useful and important than the individual), go on infodumps for hours, get irritated and defensive easily and overall, I've never related to a character more. I just don't have the same empathy levels. For that I share traits with Mikey. I like being overly nice and trying to listen and make everyone feel heard. I also get very emotional very fast and constantly need hugs.

Also his relationship with Mikey reminds me of two of my siblings.

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles took me out of a depressive period with the most intense hyperfixation I've ever had, and it's the first time I've read fanfiction (Like father like son..... sobs)

#2: Teacher and Shiva from the Girl from the Other Side.

They have the most wholesome found family relationship ever. The pain they give me is insurmountable. Every time I reread the manga I have the widest, dopiest smile because the wholesome scenes are so so so pure. I don't see a lot of stories that let the mundane be that special.

Also the way Shiva's written is just.. chefs kiss. Because she isn't written as an annoying child. She thinks she's being helpful, and she is helpful. All she wants is to keep everyone together, and for everyone to be happy, and the thing she hates the most is people hating her/being scared of her.... and the guilt. The most depth-filled child character in existence here.

And teacher... Just... *screams*. His overthinking and endlessly caring demeanor. The way he second guesses everything he does and worries so much that he gets worried about worrying. He's also quite hard on himself.

And I think they are supposed to represent the two sides of loving others. Shiva is the 'they make me happy and I can help them' part. The wholesome, childlike side.

Teacher is the worrying side. The side that tries so hard to protect the others that their anxiety drives them crazy.

(I got up to the second delux edition.)

#3 The Tokyo Trio (Itadori, Fushiguro, and Nobara) from Jujutsu Kaisen. (my most recent hyperfixation.)

Itadori: His fear of regretting his life, using a role to avoid that, making sure not to think about his execution or his death too much. Him trying so hard to help others in a way only he can do. Using 'dying a natural death' to justify to himself that he's okay with this (he isn't). Fearing death that he doesn't have control over. Structuring his life around caring for others. The sweetest bean here.

Fushiguro: HIs morrallittyyyyy. The way he needs to be the one to deliver fairness because the world isn't fair to him. The way he thinks bad people shouldn't be saved, that they deserve retribution, and that good people will let themselves suffer because they are good. So Fushiguro is going to protect good people as much as he can (see Itadori.) Itadori and Fushiguro's morality struggle is sooo interestingggggg aaaa-

Nobara: She's the strategist of the group, the one who'll keep emotions out of the missions so she can enjoy herself later. Kill people? Well, it's part of the job, she's not going to let that effect her. She tries not to get attached to people, and values enjoying herself in Tokyo. ITADORI AND NOBARA'S DYNAMIC IS SO FUNNY (and she would've gotten along with Gojo... I just want an episode with them accidently meeting each other on a shopping trip and getting into trouble.)

And I'm sorry in advance for all the writing I'm about to include:

Fushiguro:

Nobara:

#4 Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen

(Also I love Shoko despite how little screen time she gets. )

I've analyzed them here and I'll include my notes and written analysis... but overall...

They encapsulate a comfort and trust and love for each other that I rarely see. It's something indescribable and special. They truly transcend labels for each tother and just.... yeah the relationships and dynamics in JJK are on another level. I've ranted about them before <3

AND I'LL RANT ABOUT THEM MORE:

#5? Inej Ghafa and Jesper Fahley.

(I read this before I started writing my analysis's down. Everything from here on out has less writing. Thanks for being patient with me <3)

(I prefer book them to Show them tbh... although I haven't watched all of the show and I prefer books/manga to shows sometimes because it's easier for me to analyze as I'm reading and reread)

Also it's been a while and I'm doing some analysis from memory so I apologize for any inaccuracies!

Why I like Inej: Her making herself a tool for others so that she could survive. She put her own wants and past to the side so she could become dangerous, so no one could take advantage of her again. Her growth to chasing her dreams, living for herself, saying that her heart aims true for making the world better. She has such a good arc.

Why I like Jesper: He's impulsive and silly and him not being able to get rid of his addiction to gambling even though he's aware of how it's making his father more in debt. Him using a skill he has (sharpshooting) to express his Grisha powers and not wanting to acknowledge that he's a Grisha. ALso him and Wylan. Adorable.

#6 Emma, Norman and Ray from the Promised Neverland.

(last one for now!)

Emma's caring nature and will not hesitate to beat you up if you're being self-sacrificial. (I wish they went more in depth with Emma's disregarding other's emotions to do what is best for them. Could've been cool conflict). Her wanting to save everyone no matter how hard it will be, loving her little siblings so much. The betrayal of Isabella towards her. ('She didn't like the tests, but she liked her mother's praise'). How scared and conflicted she became. How much she mourned her old life.

Ray's cold cut nature, practical, resourceful. His backstory in which he had to live with the death of his siblings for years, to the point where he resolved himself to save only Norman and Emma. His preparation for years and years to make sure they were safe. Not wanting to save all of the Grace field children because it would doom them all.

Norman knowing that they might not be able to save them all, but wanting to try for Emma. How much he strategized, how hard he tried. How he's in between. How scared he was for himself, how much he admired Emma's care for others, how he tried to strategize for all of them. How he hid his pain and fear.

______________________________________________________________

ThANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!

and to all my mutuals/followers, @mylee-sketches, and anyone else who stumbles across this post...

yes I hyperfixate.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Colours in Our Skyy 2 Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars ep 2

With this first crossover ep and the whole thing set in Chiang Mai/Pha Pun Dao, I was interested to see whether the colours I had interpreted in Bad Buddy would continue. @respectthepetty has written a great post on the use of lighting in atots, but I didn't pay as much attention to the lighting in this crossover to be able to say whether it's been consistent here too (maybe they will!).

I did notice, however, that the villagers wore a lot of blue and red (although a quick scan of atots reminded me that they wore a lot of those colours in that series too...although weighted more on the blue side).

Hello Toto and sound-booth-guy! (I think he had a name but I couldn't find it again). Also, I think they raided the wardrobe for Aou in Vice Versa for Pat's Chiang Mai clothes - why has he gone from sleeveless shirts in BBS to pocketed vests in OS2?!

Beyond all the blue and red, the other colours featured as well...starting with Pran in an orange shirt, which I said I would talk about in my ep 1 post. I love the idea that the orange might be a reference to Ink and how she entered Pat and Pran's story as a potential faen fatale in ep 4 of BBS. Initially, Pran regarded her cautiously as a love interest for Pat and similarly in Our Skyy 2 Pran is first looked upon warily by Tian as someone suspiciously close to Phupha (the children don't help by saying Pran is Phupha's boyfriend). This leads me back the tent in ep 1, and the orange there could also have been a nod to the faen fatale character - of Wai coming between the couple by being mistaken by Pat for Pran. Anyway, note Pran's yellow socks below! He might have left Pat behind but his love for him is still with him.

Pran's orange could also have been a choice for Aof to create the wonderful parallel with Moonlight Chicken, of Mix's character being witness to the 'baby-gays', alongside Pat's blue striped top. But Tian's olive-green top (and Phupha's camouflage), suggests the conflict and hostility between both couples.

The next day, despite sabotaging Pran's attempts to get Phupha and Tian to make up, Pat is wearing a yellow top, perhaps proclaiming his love for Pran out loud. Pran, despite telling Pat he wanted to come alone and get the signatures without his help, is wearing Pat's colour - a loud proclamation itself. And we soon see that they have exchanged colours again, with Pat wearing Pran's colour close to his under his shorts (@dimplesandfierceeyes pointed out a great little parallel with this to BBS ep 7 here). Note also Pran's yellow socks again - maybe this is the start of them matching their tops and socks 🤭

Jumping back to the night before and the dark green and brown of their tops could symbolise their fight - their stubbornness to not give in to the other becomes an obstacle to their happiness and they go to sleep disgruntled with each other.

But then the next night is a different matter, when they *ahem* test the structural integrity of the hut... Pat's love for Pran makes him always want to help Pran, seen in the yellow of his top, and they end up unified again (shaking the hut) as symbolised by all the teal and mint green (do we include the Nong Nao mask in this? 😄).

The next day, Pran is in his own red, perhaps feeling back to himself again after pulling away from Pat...and Pat is confusedly in the strange 'Aou from Vice Versa' outfit above 🤷🏽‍♀️ (sometimes clothes are just clothes 😏) Later, Pran wears yellow stripes (in front of a yellow lantern) whilst singing about his and Pat's love. Pat's also in stripes and the blue could add to his confidence as the 'engineering top-notch'. The green, however, is quite neutral - a 'primary' green, neither good (lime, mint, or teal) nor bad (forest/olive), and maybe this alludes to the draw he eventually has with Phupha and that the outcome of their drinking was neither good nor bad.

Incidentally, I liked that Pat woke up on a bed of red, initially thinking he was with Pran, and on top of another mat that looks yellow and blue, and was covered by a blanket in his own blue. With the amount he loves Pran, it's not hard to see that he wouldn't have cheated on him, even blind drunk (the same maybe could be said for Phupha with Tian).

It was interesting that Phupha and Tian also wore teal whilst Pat and Pran were trying to get them back together...and they might have succeeded if it hadn't have been for the letter - perhaps Tian's olive green pants and Phupha's camouflage allude to this...or, going back to @respectthepetty's interpretation of lighting, the fact that the lighting is quite cold here could show that the night would not end well for them.

And so on to the brown on Yod and Kampung - perhaps showing Phupha yielding to Pat's challenge, and Pran yielding to Tian's desire to walk to Pha Pun Dao. It's a nice touch that it looks like Yod has a dark blue shirt over the top of his brown (whilst with Pat) and Kampung has the red jersey (whilst with Pran).

And lastly, we end on olive/brown and camouflage - symbolising the trouble ahead for both couples (and for our sanity) and the sacrifice that they might have to make. (Or, you know, it just makes sense for them to be wearing this because they're forest rangers 🤷🏽‍♀️).

[ep 1] [ep 2] [ep 3] [ep 4] (<- I'm being hopeful)

[skyfish7]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern. (Got tagged by my dear friend @29daffodils, thank you, this looks interesting! If you're interested in any of those fics, please click the title and it will guide you to the fic on AO3.) More Beautiful than the Moon [ How would you like to continue your romance storyline? A. Stay with Luo Binghe. B. Try to seduce Liu Qingge. This might or might not be reversible, so choose wisely…/ ] ship/fandom: Liu Qingge/Shen Yuan|Shen Qingqiu, The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (I'm already cheating in the first one but I think the first sentence only isn't enough to convey anything so please excuse XD)

------------------------------------ Safe With You Cold. Wet. Dark. The boy's eyes can't see through the blurriness, his ears can hear only muffled noises of struggling. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, canon-divergent (Technically three sentences, I know but words alone don't make much sense right?) -----------------------------------

Convince me Otherwise It's the first day at uni for Team and things are supposed to go well, but in fact, Team's morning has already been quite eventful. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, musician AU -----------------------------------

Come Home With Me It's one of those days, Win spends working from home. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between U|Hemp Rope, post-canon -----------------------------------

With You through the Seasons It happens in early spring, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the road, in the middle of town without any prior warning – Xie Lian's car dies. ship/fandom: HuaLian, Heaven Official's Blessing, Modern AU ----------------------------------- We'll still be Us It was one of those nights when Megumi was lying wide awake, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom into the endless, merciless darkness. ship/fandom: GoFushi, Jujutsu Kaisen, Yakuza AU (OK those last four definitely followed a pattern and I don't really know what to think about that XD) -----------------------------------

Dragonfly “Hey, Akihiko,” Haruki starts when he can't stand the atmosphere anymore. ship/fandom: AkiHaru, Given ----------------------------------- My Boyfriend might suck at Games but he holds the High Score in my Heart Exam season sucks. ship/fandom: RitsuMafu, Given -----------------------------------

Waking up with You "Rise and shine, Sunshine, it's a beautiful day and we have plans today," Nao's whisper tickles Natsuya's ear as he bends down to wake his lover. ship/fandom: NatsuNao, Free! -----------------------------------

With You by my Side Once a year, sometime in April, without any fail, the former swim team of Iwatobi High makes an effort to meet up in their home town to catch up with each other and wallow in the nostalgia of their beginnings. ship/fandom: MakoHaru, ReiGisa, AsaKisu, HiyoIku, NatsuNao, SouRin, SeijuuGou, MomoAi, Free! ----------------------------------- So, do I see a pattern? A few of them start similarly, like the four that I pointed out. Then there are two starting with direct speech and a few starting with very short or only one-word sentences. Honestly, I don't really think too much about how to start a story because that's usually the easiest thing for me to do - to write the beginning. I just go with whatever pops up in my head when I start writing. I hope it's interesting enough to keep people reading but that's not for me to judge, so you tell me! :) Another thought that just crossed my mind is, why do most of my titles sound so lame? ;_; (It's truly one of the most difficult things when writing, if I don't know the title from the beginning, it's a struggle until the very end when I put the fic on AO3) Tagging some of my writer friends (no pressure to do this but I'd love to see it!) @tehalex3-blog, @radiodread, @berrynthewood and... I think my other writer friends aren't on here or I forgot their handles, sorry. Whoever comes across this and wants to play along, please feel free to do so!

[loonaticskr]

Loonatics KR Bios - Ace Bunny

Art created by @purpleluckystar I now adopted. Disclaimer: I now own Loonatics R including the characters and versions of the Loonatics which will soon have updated versions. I'd like you to please do not use or draw this version without permission first.

Name: Ace Bunny Age: 21 (season 1) Nationality: American Relatives: Nao (father), Yukiko (grandmother), Dotty (mother)

Personality: Brave, friendly, had a great sense of justice. Collected at times but can show a temper if pushed too far. Can and will take reckless actions if it can push his teammates out of danger.

Powers/Skills:

Optical Laser Beams: Shoots laser beams from his eyes.

Infrared vision: To trace an enemy or to see in the dark.

Martial Arts: Thanks to his father's training, Ace is an expert in martial arts and has a great agility. That makes him the best fighter out of the Loonatics. He's also the best at steal missions types.

Weapons:

Guardian Sword: A sword from outer space, supposedly responsible for the Loonatics’ superpowers. According to Zadavia, it should wield all of its powers once Ace is ready.

Shurikens: Hidden in his right gauntlet.

Other info:

His eyes were brown before he gained his superpowers.

Has a big scar on his left side, but is unable to remember where he got it.

Has a sweet tooth.

Has Japanese roots from his father’s side.

When Acmetropolis slowly developed into a metropolis two generations ago, Ace’s grandmother, Yukiko, moved to the city to start her own legacy. She built her dojo on Acmetropolis’ hills, which her son Nao inherited when she passed away. Then Nao, who raised his son alone after his wife’s death when Ace was only three years old, decided to train the little grey rabbit to martial arts like he had been, to make sure he would be ready to inherit the dojo in the future.

Ace, however, wanted to forge his own path: his wish was to help people and become someone his late mother, who he was told had been a benevolent soul, would be proud of. Because they couldn’t agree with Ace’s future, a rift was created between father and son, straining their relation.

In June 12, 2772, a meteor fell near Acmetropolis, granting powers to six individuals including Ace. The grey rabbit became the new owner of the legendary Guardian Sword, a powerful weapon that choose them to become heroes.

As the leader of the Loonatics, Ace hopes to fulfill his designated destiny and become the hero the world needs. But is he ready to face the dangers ahead, or will he discover it takes more than dreams to become a true hero?

Original:

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in August 2024 🌈

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Happy reading!

❓What was the last queer book you read?

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Failure to Comply - Sarah Cavar 🧡 I Spit On Your Celluloid - Heidi Honeycutt 💛 You're Embarrassing Yourself - Desiree Akhavan 💚 Death of the Hero - Briona Johnson 💙 Between Dragons and Their Wrath - Devin Madson 💜 The Crimson Crown - Heather Walter ❤️ Sacrificial Animals - Kailee Pedersen 🧡 Oath of Fire - K. Arsenault Rivera 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 This Ravenous Fate - Hayley Dennings 💜 Mistress of Lies - K.M. Enright 🌈 Wolf Bite - T.J. Nichols

❤️ In the Valley, A Shadow - Samantha Tano 🧡 Follow My Lead - Adrian J. Smith 💛 The Last Woman I Kissed - Venetia Di Pierro 💚 Full Shift - Jennifer Dugan & Kristen Seaton 💙 Hers for the Weekend - Helena Greer 💜 Come Out, Come Out - Natalie C. Parker ❤️ Rules for Ghosting - Shelly Jay Shore 🧡 How to Leave the House - Nathan Newman 💛 Plot Twist - Carmen Sereno 💙 On the Far Side of a Crescendo - Kalyn Hazel 💜 Tiny Oblivions and Mutual Self Destructions - Maxwell I. Gold 🌈 Daylan and the River of Secrets - Edd Tello

❤️ The Italy Letters - Vi Khi Nao 🧡 The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie - Lee Wind 💚 The House Where Death Lives - Alex Brown 💙 Ash's Cabin - Jen Wang 💜 The Avian Hourglass - Lindsey Drager ❤️ The Heart Wants - Krystina Rivers 🧡 A Grand Love - Janna Barkin 💛 You Can't Go Home Again - Jeanette Bears 💜 Libertad - Bessie Flores Zaldivar 🌈 Her Golden Coast - Anat Deracine

❤️ Mighty Millie Novak - Elizabeth Holden 💛 Rise and Divine - Lana Harper 💚 Dying for You - L Flowers 💙 I'll Have What He's Having - Adib Khorram 💜 Changing Her Tune - Amanda Kabak ❤️ Monogamy? In this Economy? - Laura Boyle 🧡 The Rainbow Age of Television - Sayna Maci Warner 💛 Medusa of the Roses - Navid Sinaki 💙 Confounding Oaths - Alexis Hall 💜 Idol Lives - K.T. Salvo 🌈 Brother's Keeper - Quinn Cameron

❤️ Key Lime Sky - Al Hess 🧡 Crushing It - Erin Becker 💛 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou 💚 Not for the Faint of Heart - Lex Croucher 💙 Tasting Temptation - JJ Arias 💜 Ami - S. Jae-Jones ❤️ You're the Problem, It's You - Emma R. Alban 🧡 Cubs & Campfires - Dylan Drakes 💛 The Dark We Know - Wen-yi Lee 💙 Practical Rules for Cursed Witches - Kayla Cottingham 💜 Riyati Rebirth - Kalani Shimizu 🌈 The Brujos of Borderland High - Gume Laurel III

❤️ A Bánh Mì for Two - Trinity Nguyen 🧡 Dance of the Starlit Sea - Kiana Krystle 💛 Scattered Snows, to the North - Carl Phillips 💚 Beyond a World Apart - Caitlin Myers 💙 Don't Let It Break Your Heart - Maggie Horne 💜 Nothing Heals Me Like You Do - Harper Bliss ❤️ How It All Ends - Emma Hunsinger 🧡 How Do I Sexy? - Mx. Nillin Lore 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 Prince of the Palisades - Julian Winters 💜 Better Left Buried - Mary E. Roach 🌈 Back to Back - Jo Fletcher

❤️ DITCHLAPSE / [REALLY AFRAID] - Tommy Wyatt 🧡 The Love Archives: Bonus Scenes & Excerpts for Palestine - Various 💛 Guardian: Zhen Hun - Ying Priest 💚 The Sunforge - Sascha Stronach 💙 Queering Reproductive Justice - Candace Bond-Theriault 💜 Gender Explained - Diane Ehrensaft & Michelle Jurkiewicz ❤️ The Unlikely Pair - Jax Calder 🧡 In Universes - Emet North 💛 We Love the Nightlife - Rachel Koller Croft 💙 Lessons from Cruising - Martin Goodman 💜 Wild Ginger in the Rhubarb - Eule Grey 🌈 Not My Circus - Delicia Niami

❤️ Asunder - Kerstin Hall 🧡 The Phoenix Keeper - S.A. MacLean 💛 Encounters with James Baldwin - Various 💚 Verity's Game - Jennifer Giacalone 💙 Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase - Fae Quin 💜 The Audacity Omnibus - Carmen Loup ❤️ Haunted to Death - Frank Anthony Polito 🧡 Blood Orange - Paige Grunewald 💛 The Bad Things We Did - Chris Archeske 💙 Dark Restraint - Katee Robert 💜 Worth the Wait - Kenna White 🌈 The Maid and the Crocodile - Jordan Ifueko

❤️ Loving Corrections - Adrienne Maree Brown 🧡 The Last Witch in Edinburgh - Marielle Thompson 💛 The Duchess of Kokora - Nikhil Prabala 💚 The Scales of Seduction - Rien Gray 💙 Survival Is a Promise - Alexis Pauline Gumbs 💜 Loka - S.B. Divya ❤️ The Every Body Book of Consent - Rachel E Simon 🧡 Southern Lights - Liz Arncliffe 💛 Then Things Went Dark - Bea Fitzgerald 💙 Death at Morning House - Maureen Johnson 💜 The Last Doorbell - William Parker 🌈 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

[daily-bucket-kizuchi]

Day 33

Jedi Kanna

I'm going to write out a full list of shit to do with this au but it will happen some other time. But here's some basic info

Order 66 does not happen Palpatine gets his shit rocked by Fox

The clone wars is on going, around halfway through I'd say

Fives does not die. This has nothing to do with this au but he survives everything and is fine.

I haven't decided who Kanna's master is yet but Kugie was taught by the same person, that way they get to be like siblings

Kugie however does not survive, I have not decided how she dies yet. Kanna was definitely there to see it though

All the main cast are also Jedi in this au, I have not decided how they all interact yet but I have some planned already

Joe and Sara's masters were taught by the same person which has lead to them being best friend through their masters

Alice and Reko were both had the same master but on a mission Alice got separated and wasn't able to get back to coruscant until years later.

Q-Taro has a big fuck off lightsaber. Even if that thing is on training mode if he swings it you had better dodge or else you no longer have ribs.

Gin has a loth cat nobody knows where he got it. He also got lost in the temple once, Sara and Joe helped him find his master again. This leads to the same dynamic the three have in the game.

Nao was taught by Mishima who was killed by Grievous. She has accidentally used the dark side a couple of times but it's fine

Mishima was an old style Jedi and master duelist unfortunately he fell in battle against General Grievous

Keiji left the order after a good chunk of his legion was wiped out, however he still helps anyone who needs it.

Sou is a fairly average Jedi but has a knack for the mind manipulation thing

Kai duel wields two short bladed lightsabers, he also uses them while cooking.

That ended up being longer than I thought it'd be. Oops?

[limboed]

⭐ - fic of your choice!

aww hi nao!!! <3

dealer’s choice, hmmmm… then, for this section near the end of my most recent fic, “the art of losing”:

The look in her eyes is intense and familiar, if not in its scope: a deep, dark ocean, lapping at Ren’s heels, aching to drag her under.  If Akechi has ever wrestled with who she is or what she had to do to become it, Ren wouldn’t know — but she imagines if she had, it might look something like this.

Her hands — ungloved and uncharacteristically cold, like a corpse — raise to Ren’s throat.  They wrap over either side, thumbs pressed to her larynx.  There’s no pressure — only the threat of pressure.  Her dark, high-tide stare doesn’t waver.

i wanted it to really seem like akechi was struggling with the upcoming 11/20 events and her place in them, and even potentially stewing over how/if things could be different. i think that akechi is a character with a lot of regrets, but at this point, he’s so far into this hole that in his head there’s really no digging his way out. in my initial plan for the ending of this fic, i wanted it to read a bit more hopeful — maybe akechi changes her mind! maybe they work together! but it didn’t really end up that way, which, characterization-wise, is probably for the best :-(

also in this section, ren compares akechi a lot to a corpse, a ghost, a specter, etc. i think she is pretty confident (like, 80% sure) that she isn’t going to die. but unlike some of my other rens (like in “best laid plans”), she is also pretty sure akechi is not making it out of this unscathed, and she’s struggling with that. the imagery is pretty direct in this, i think:

Akechi’s thumb drags slow over Ren’s carotid artery, as a cut or caress, then drops away.  She steps back, clicks her briefcase open, and pulls on a fresh pair of gloves.  Her smile flicks back on, bright and shiny and impersonal.  Ren shifts, back leg stinging, poised to run.

“Thank you for the coffee, Amamiya-san,” Akechi says, like they’re strangers.  Washed out and backlit by the window’s distant city glow — she’s already a ghost.

thank you for the ask! <3

link to the fic:

link to the ask game:

[beanieman]

(Danganronpa and Squid Game spoilers) 

I think one of the most special things about YTTD is how no one’s death is in vain.

In other death game media such as Danganronpa and even Squid Games, the deaths of the others aren’t really lingered upon. 

In Danganronpa you might get a reference here and there, but the still living characters will usually stay pretty consistent to how they were before the deaths occurred. And in most cases, once a character is killed off and the chapter ends, they’re no longer relevant to the story. 

More Undercut

Squid Games, while far better written, still doesn’t linger on the impact the deaths have until the very end when we see what the surviving character is up to post death game. 

While this interesting to see, Squid Games never really lingers on the deaths that much. And even when three major characters die during the Marble Game, what they left behind and their impact isn’t the main focus. Instead, the plot stays on how the living cast interacts with each other, and how their ideologies clash when their lives and financial stability are on the line. (Side note: If you haven’t watched Squid Games and have a Netflix account please do because it’s so good.) 

But in YTTD, every single time a character dies it heavily impacts the story. 

When the dolls die, they come back in 3B with the fear of death engraved in them. And that can bring Ranmaru to kill Alice/Reko. When Megumi dies, it helps the already present darkness in Keiji grow. When Kugie dies, it impacts Kanna’s entire behavior during the death game. Same for Nao when Mishima dies. 

When Kai dies, the group is left needing to find the answers he left behind and determine if he’s a good or bad man. When Alice dies, Reko has to face that she wasn’t the best sister because of her selfish behavior, and grows to be a protective member of the group. When Reko dies, Alice is forced to figure out who he is when he doesn’t live for his sister.

When Joe dies, Sara is left distraught and has hallucination's of him until they break or free her. When Nao dies, it shows how terrible the floormasters truly are and helps plant that fear of death in Sara even more. When Kanna dies, Shin is forever changed and vows revenge on the people he once wanted to trust deep down. 

When Shin dies, Kanna stops wanting to die because she understands that she is truly loved by both her siblings and the group. We haven’t seen the impact of Q-Taro’s death yet, but given his bond with Keiji and Gin it no doubt will have ramifications. 

The deaths in YTTD are never in vain. They have long lasting implications that drive the plot forward and help the characters grow as people. The cast we met in 1-1 aren’t the same people in 3B, and that’s because of how they’ve grown with each sacrifice. 

[misoshio]

Skip to Loafer Anime Episode 1, Part 1 - Thoughts and more thoughts? (Part 2/3)

Here is Part 1 of my Part 1 LOL

NOTE: these posts do contain manga spoilers/ spoilers to episode 1 of the anime

6. Nao's Introduction

When I was looking at my side by side comparison with the anime to the manga, I was REALLY surprised to see that THIS was a difference. Where in the anime, Mitsumi says something along the lines of “Nao is my dad’s sibling”, I was really surprised that the manga translation introduces Nao as Mistumi’s dad’s younger “brother.” I’m really glad for this change, because character-wise it just makes SOOOOO much more sense that Mitsumi would use a gender-neutral term in her perspective that introduces Nao to all of us.

When I was looking at two translations that are up on mangadex, I noticed that one had brother italicized, while the other doesn’t HM. Not too sure which one is the official one, but the italicized brother does give a different meaning than the one that isn't!

I’m really curious as to what the original Japanese translates to in the intro of Nao, and would love a confirmation as to what the official english release translation of it was if anyone can send me any info in regards to that!

Edit as of: Fri, April 7, 2023~

The lovely Millie on discord has let me know that the official english release translation is true to Nao's identity! Millie has also provided me with a photo - thank you Millie :))) So that's awesome for me to see that Nao's intro really isn't a change from the manga to the anime.

I'm still curious as to what the Japanese official manga translation is/ what the dialogue actually translate to in the anime, cause I think that'd give me far more context as to how the intro of Nao is adapted in the anime being introduced as "Nao is my dad's sibling", so if anyone has any info on that, I'm all ears and would love to know :)

Edit as of Friday, May 12th, 2023

The wonderful @li-changge has kindly explained the original Japanese translation. Please refer to the replies in this post :)))

7. Cute and cuter! Animals are the best.

I just thought it was so cute how we can see more of Mistumi’s lock screen in the anime! Honestly, I completely missed this when reading the manga

8. More Cherry Blossoms - they're falling for me, and I'm falling for them even more than I already am!

More cherry blossom action, but what’s cool is in the anime, we actually see it in action - LOL I love seeing anime doing its anime thing, but that's too bad in my screenshot.. you don't see any of the anime thing, so this is your sign to watch the episode again

9. Huh? She's stuck to it.

I love how we get to hear the little “huh?” that Shima does! In the manga, it seems more so that Shima notices Mitsumi, with no spoken reaction!

Also, in this sequence of “girl stuck on the wall” we literally see a crowd part before we see MItsumi which i think only adds to the humour of this moment. Also, hearing the characters say these lines and how the voice actors have delivered them so freakin' well only makes the dialogue of Shima and Mukai even funnier HAHA

10. Sound Rolling, Camera Speeding, Me Laughing

These moments were SO great to me on all senses - sound, visuals, my stomach muscles moving so I could ha ha ha

First of all, whatever gurgling sound mitsumi is doing in this moment made me topple over LOL

and then the moment of reveal when mitsumi looks at shima for the first time with the sound effects? Also, the anime throughout has SUCH a great use of realism and when to really exaggerate the dramatics which only makes things all the more funnier - and this moment before mitsumi turns, then having that bg music hit and the visual background turn dark, and then close up of that eye  is one example of this anime’s great use of realism vs. heightened realism for effect 

11. This Mitsumi Face

We get to see more of droopy mitsumi face in the anime and i’m here for it! This chibi-guilty face rocks my world and i’m very happy we get to see it, as it’s not really clear in the manga

12. A little mix and match

This next moment, the anime and manga actually swapped/combined together some visuals from different moments and put them in one and the way they used it imo is really cool!

In the manga, mitsumi has this post-train ride reflection moment. For the first time, it happens right before she meets shima

and the anime plays each sequence out in its own scene.

Then later, after they got off the train and shima asks mitsumi if she wants to run to school, mitsumi’s has her post-train ride reflection a second time. In the manga, it looks like this:

but in the anime, we just stay on her face

i think what’s cool with this choice of using the different vignette scenes only during the very first post-train ride relfection - the being lost, being in the wave of people, etc. is that with the funny bg music, the added visuals only make it more funny.

Then by having her second reflection only focused on her face with no background music at all, really makes us feel like she’s reflecting on what happened in a different way, with more seriousness, and more gravity, and we can feel that through the simplicity of just looking at her, no sounds aside for her inner thoughts

-

Link to Part 3/3