#dare i put this in the aro tags. i think i might be too shy today

[ilovedthestars]

something just crystallized for me and i had to draw some pictures about it.

for context: I'm kind of uncomfortable with the concept of QPRs, or the way I see them being talked about. I don't wanna ramble on about my very complicated feelings on this that i've been struggling to articulate even to myself, i'll just say that i'm not judging anyone in a QPR or anyone who likes the concept, i am just incredibly ambivalent about the idea in relation to myself. part of that is probably internalized nonsense, and part of it might be something about my preferences in relationships, and working out which feelings are which is the hard part.

anyway, i think i realized part of what makes the idea not sit right with me. most people in my very aro corner of tumblr are familiar with the amatonormative model of relationships that looks approximately like this:

the aro community has pretty firmly agreed that that's inaccurate. romance does not have a monopoly on high intimacy, it's not "more than" friendship, etc

but i think sometimes the alternate model feels like this:

and i don't like that either.

again, i don't know how much of that is stuff i'm actually getting from conversations about qprs, and how much of it is my own internalized associations, or whatever. i'm not trying to suggest this is what everyone else means when they say qpr, at all (and of course there is no one thing that qpr means). but it just hit me that that was what the uncomfortable part of the idea feels like, to me. like qprs have just replaced romance as "ultimate form of intimacy beyond regular friendship."

and it's useful to realize that, because it ultimately helps me recognize that i want a model that looks more like this:

i want friendships that span the full scale of intimacy. i don't want to feel like some kind of formalized "partnership," be it romantic or platonic or whatever, is required to unlock that highest spot.

so that's one more thing i know about myself, and hopefully it will be useful for untangling the rest of the complicated feelings.

[lokigodofaces]

Marvel Pride

So, I plan on doing this myself, and I thought I'd let others see it so they could do it too if they so choose (you should tag me if you do it because it would be fun to see other people's responses). If you really want me to tag you in these for some reason, let me know! So here's what I'm gonna do every day of the month!

1: What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what is your gender and pronouns? This is a fun way to start because this can be connected to other questions! If you aren't comfortable answering this, please don't! As a back up question, what are your plans for pride this year?

2: Who are your favorite canon queer characters? Not many are confirmed in the MCU, and those that are aren't confirmed in the movies, but the comics have plenty of queer people!

3: Which characters do you headcanon as queer?

4: Who are your favorite queer characters? Confirmed? Headcanoned?

5: What line(s) have special meaning to you because of your queerness?

6: What are your favorite ships with at least one queer or headcanoned queer character? Not necessarily a "homosexual" relationship because bi/pan/omni/ply/ace/aro/abro/trans people can be in a straight passing relationship but they are still queer, and I want to be inclusive of those ships.

7: If you ship any queerplatonic relationships, what are they?

8: Which character that you headcanon is queer do you want Marvel to confirm the most?

9: Do you have romantic/sexual/queerplatonic/etc crushes on any of the characters? If so, who? Bonus question to honor Loki's release: if you headcanon Loki as queer, what sexuality/romanticism/gender do you specifically headcanon him as? Or did, if he is confirmed queer this first episode (I doubt it, but you never know).

10: Were any of the Marvel characters your sexual awakening? Who?

11: What is a queer headcanon you don't actually headcanon but would be funny?

12: Do you have any fun ways of celebrating pride that relate to Marvel? What are they? Show us pictures if you'd like!

13: What storylines/arcs do you relate to because of your queerness?

14: Do you ever feel like you project your sexuality on a character and question if you actually headcanon it or are just desperate for representation? If so, who? And, well, you might be projecting, but there's nothing wrong with that. Go ahead, make your favorite character the same as you. No one's gonna stop you! Have fun!

15: Has there ever been a character(s) that you adored for a long time, and then you realized you were queer, and you realized that was why you liked that character so much? If so, which character(s)?

16: What do you think the characters that are confirmed queer or you interpret as queer would do for pride?

17: If you could come out to any Marvel character, who would you come out to?

18: Lots of characters wear colorful things! Put some Marvel characters together to make some pride flags for yourself! You can either show us fanart, copy and paste pictures/gifs of them in that order, or just tell us the order and the costume.

19: Which Marvel character would be the best cishet ally?

20: If there were a group chat of all the queer Marvel characters (including those you headcanon as queer), who would constantly spam with quality queer memes?

21: Which characters do you think would come out and be overtly queer, and which ones do you think would be more shy about it or stay entirely in the closet?

22: What is the biggest pet peeve you have in relation to the Marvel fandom(s) and the LGBTQ+ community? (Things like being annoyed by fetishization of queers or complete denial of queerness or heteronormativity or allonormativity or a compulsion to make things romantic or discrimination you've face, stuff like that).

23: If Marvel were to confirm a character as queer, what would be your biggest fear? Your biggest hope?

24: Who is your comfort character(s) in regards to queerness?

25: What sort of pride apparel do you think the characters would wear/have, if any?

26: If you were scared because you were in an area hostile to queers, which character would you want to be at your side to wreck anyone that dared touch you?

27: What harmless stereotypes do the queer characters fall into? Things like wearing flannels or sitting oddly, that sort of stuff.

28: Do you have any queer jokes relating to Marvel? If so, please share.

29: Do something artistic in relation to Marvel and the LGBTQ+ community. Drawing, painting, ceramics, jewelry, calligraphy, photo editing, music, whatever you'd like! Share with us what you did!

30: Did you have a good, fun, safe pride month? Did you enjoy this fun little thing? As for Marvel, what sort of representation would you like to see someday? And, if Loki does end up being confirmed as queer by now, what did you think?

I hope anyone that does this has fun! If you are interested in seeing what I do with this, I will be titling all of mine "Michelle, Marvel, and Pride." And I can tag you if you so desire. But tag me if you want to do this if that's alright with you, I'd love to see other people's thoughts. And if any queerphobes take this as an opportunity to spread hate, you will be blocked.

Link to my posts.