#danny mcbride i want to kiss you on the mouth. who said that

[shisogelee]

watching the righteous gemstones has reminded me of how little genuinely good comedy i know of like i genuinely can't think of any shows that have made me laugh out loud like that apart from like peep show

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Halloween (2018)

I love occasion movies. By that I mean, I love movies that put me in a speciic mood for a specific occasion - I have to watch Planes, Trains, and Automobiles every Thanksgiving, I have to watch Empire Records on Rex Manning Day, and I HAVE to watch Halloween every Halloween. It’s part of my DNA. Now, when you’ve got an original that’s SO classic and SO perfect, it’s hard not to see the sequels as subpar. Now it’s 2018, and Jamie Lee Curtis (along with David Gordon Green and Danny McBride) are giving us another in a long line of sequels and reboots to the OG slasher film. Is it a trick or a treat? Well...

This may be one of the only decades-later sequels that I’ve ever seen that felt necessary, relevant, and totally, completely worthy of succeeding its predecessor. Right down to the title, the filmmakers got everything right - because this isn’t a sequel. It’s simply the continuation of what was started 40 years ago when Michael Myers came after Laurie Strode and showed her the face of true evil. This is the story of four decades lost.

A basic summary: Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a grandmother now, and she’s spent her whole life trying to prepare her daughter (Judy Greer), and to the extent she was allowed, her granddaughter (Andi Matichak) to face off against the evils of the world like a crazy bushman survivalist type. Meanwhile, two investigative journalists are doing a podcast series about the Michael Myers killings from the 70s and are trying to get both Michael and Laurie to talk to them before Michael is transferred to a much more restrictive facility where he’ll essentially rot in a windowless room forever. Michael’s not real chatty, though; he’s got bigger plans. Namely, escaping from the prison bus during the transfer. You know, the transfer that took place the day before Halloween right outside Haddonfield. (I know you’re probably understaffed, guys, but c’mon. A little bit of forethought.) October 31st rolls around and Michael’s back in his old stomping grounds, wanting to take another crack at Laurie...but this time, she’s had 40 years to prepare, and she’s not going down without a fight.

Some thoughts:

I’m so, SO glad they didn’t mess with John Carpenter’s iconic, perfect score. Not just the main theme, but the weird little auditory cues that Michael is near, or lurking behind that house are still present and ramp up the fear in an almost Pavlovian way. 

What struck me most is that Laurie’s trauma has become generational  trauma, shaping the lives of her daughter and her granddaughter because of Michael’s abuse. 

These investigative journalists are trying to get Laurie to talk to Michael because it makes for juicy podcasting, but pitch it in the guise of “You can say all the things you want to say to him and finally move on, and let go of this anger. We’re trying to help you” and ooh, that just burned me up inside. It’s so typical for people to play the benevolent savior card of “We can help you confront your abuser, you’ll feel so much better” because it makes for a better story. It makes it easier to sympathize with victims if you know they fought back, right? 

Judy Greer finally gets used to the best of her abilities as an actress, and I hope this means they no longer relegate her to the wacky best friend role in romantic comedies, because I was very impressed with her here. Her “Gotcha” moment alone elicited an actual round of applause in my theater. 

Nice to know that Michael has a code and doesn’t kill kids. It’s the little things, you know?

The three women - Laurie, her daughter Karen, and her granddaughter Allyson - are the emotional core of the film, and their relationship is placed front and center. I found it fascinating that all the men in their lives are basically the worst, or useless. Allyson’s boyfriend gets drunk and kisses another girl in front of her, then gaslights her about it and destroys her phone. Karen’s husband makes jokes that make people uncomfortable and doesn’t stop even when Karen repeatedly asks him to. The investigative journalist (Jefferson Hall) wants to profit off Laurie’s pain and trauma in the guise of helping her. Let me be clear - none of these are the equivalent of stalking and killing innocent people with a butcher knife like Michael does. But. These actions exist on a spectrum of violence, particularly against women, and the normalization of these behaviors is the real Boogeyman. And much like Michael Myers, it’s a Boogeyman that’s damn hard to get rid of.

I cannot believe so many people leave their doors unlocked when they’re inside. People are unpredictable! You don’t know what they’ll do! ESPECIALLY on Halloween night, you guys. You have to lock all that shit down!

Also does no one own dogs?? I mean, I’m glad no dogs were hurt in this movie. But people love dogs. There would be at least 1 pit bull mix losing his damn mind as Michael walked by.

The homages to the original are everywhere, but are not glaringly obvious, which leads to a much more cohesive relationship between the two movies. As I said, it feels like a natural continuation. My favorites were probably the sheet ghost, Laurie’s disappearance from the lawn, and Laurie’s appearance outside Allyson’s high school.

OK so at one point, we see some people Michael killed and they’re heads have been turned into makeshift jack-o-lanterns. That’s some spooky stuff! But like. That means Michael was able to scoop out the inside of a person’s skull and put some sort of candle in there so it glowed through their mouth and eye holes. But the heads were on their side, and weren’t really flickering so I’m thinking an actual candle is ruled out - it would get snuffed out from the blood alone, the flame just wouldn’t be able to handle it. What I’m saying to you is that on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere, the only possible explanation for Michael’s arts and craft project is that he carries high-powered battery-operated flameless candles with him at all times.

I want to make it clear that this movie is actually pretty damn scary, though. Michael’s relentless stalking has been ramped up for modern sensibilities, and there are some truly terrifying sequences. Laurie’s walk through her darkened house is an extended nightmare that the movie builds to for an hour and a half, and it’s perfect in every way. 

I feel like I can’t express enough how much I loved this continuation of the Halloween story. It’s a realistic look at the way trauma shapes peoples’ lives, for good or ill, and the stories we tell ourselves about the world because of that trauma. Jamie Lee Curtis is so exquisite as a woman who has lived under the shadow of this burden for 40 years - she’s tough and competent, but she’s also vulnerable and scared, because she’s not a superhero. She’s just trying to protect her family and make it through October 31st alive. I can’t wait to enjoy a double feature of the original and this entry for all my Halloweens to come. 

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Alien: Covenant (SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT)

Okay, so I’ve done one without spoilers but now…now I’m going to go crazy.

In case it’s not obvious… SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE SPOILERS.

First of all…I really fucking loved the movie. I absolutely fucking loved it. Go and watch it please.

There’s a number of things I just want to talk about and get out of my system. I’m going to just highlight some things, but it might get long.

David getting all “who created you” with Peter Weyland, all philosophical and shit. David is interesting. (I’m guessing this part was BEFORE Prometheus)

On the Covenant ship, I really digged Walter (a synthetic) checking up on the stats of the crew in cryosleep. There are also 2000 colonists and more than 1000 embryos to help start a colony, all frozen or in sleep.

So the ship goes through this blast/shockwave thing, and it damages a part of the ship; the crew are all awakened from cryosleep and clamber out of their pods (in their suits).

Oram and some others have to help Daniels out as she’s all groggy, which is kinda cute.

The only person who doesn’t get out is Captain Jacob Branson, because his pod jams shut or something; the crew all try to get him out but have no luck.

Daniels, who is the captain’s wife, panics and has to be held back as everyone tries to help their captain. Nothing works, and the pod catches fire; Branson is incinerated and killed as his wife watches.

Katherine in this scene and the following one where she’s going through her husband’s stuff BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. WHY??

While trying to repair the ship, they pick up a transmission from a planet that seems perfect for them/the colony. Bearing in mind that the original planet they were planning to get to is still more than 7 years away, the crew decides that they should check out the new planet…

…all except Daniels, who is the only one on this damn ship who has ANY sense even when she’s dealing with bereavement/grief: “we don’t know what the fuck’s out there!” Exactly. It’s just too convenient that a planet that’s perfect for them suddenly appears out of nowhere. They should have listened to Daniels.

I’m going to jump ahead and just say that the backburster/mouthburster scenes were FUCKING HORRIFYING OH MY GOD

NO BUT LIKE THAT NEOMORPH BEING BORN WHAT THE FUCK

Oram has to be held down by Daniels when he sees the little launcher thing explode (it had his wife on it), who – even when dealing with a tragedy – is still more help/more use/smarter than the rest of the crew.

Another Neomorph bursts out of this guy’s mouth. It nearly kills Daniels, but she’s saved by Walter – he loses his hand to save her.

I want to just take a moment to appreciate the scene between David and Walter where David teaches Walter how to play the flute. I want to appreciate it right now.

“You blow, I’ll do the fingering” – I WAS DYING SO BADLY I CANNOT

Also, DAVID KISSING WALTER WHAT IN THE FUCK

Look, I ain’t gonna lie – I kinda maybe ship Daniels and Walter. In a weird way?

David agrees with me: he says that he loved Elizabeth, then looks at Walter and says “just like you love Daniels”. He points out that Walter lost his hand to save her, but Walter maintains that it was “duty”, not love.

David is a fucking creep, he’s a villain, oh my god.

That scene where the Neomorph sneaks in and kills Rosenthal is also FUCKING TERRIFYING AS SHIT. I MEAN IT HAD NO FACE BUT THEN IT HAD A MOUTH WITH RAZOR SHARP TEETH AND IT TORE HER FUCKING HEAD OFF

Watching David “horse-whisper” the Neomorph strangely reminded me of Newt Scamander perhaps coaxing a dangerous creature into his case.

Would just like to say now that no, Elizabeth Shaw didn’t die in a crash like David said – he killed her, probably by infecting her with those pathogens if her corpse/his drawings are anything to go by. Poor Elizabeth didn’t deserve that.

David growing those alien eggs, one of which ends up launching a facehugger at Oram (then there’s a chestburster)

David attacking Daniels and then forcing a kiss on her was fucking fucked up. Thankfully, Walter saves the day by attacking David and they have a big fight.

The scene with Katherine/Daniels hanging off the side of a ship was scary as shit because like…she was hanging off a ship while battling an alien?? BAD ASS.

“Captain Daniels” – YES OH MY GOD YES. I HAVE ALREADY SAVED THIS AS A URL FOR FUTURE USE. GOD BLESS RIDLEY SCOTT FOR THIS.

Honestly, just whenever Katherine/Daniels swore – appreciate the swearing, it’s great.

Shout-out to Danny McBride for playing an actual character who wasn’t just comic-relief/a joke.

Can I just say that sex/shower/shower sex is always a clear indicator that a character is about to die? I saw the shower and was like “well, those two are fucked”. (considering they were having sex in the shower, I see the double entendre in this now)

Lots and lots of blood.

Katherine/Daniels survives, which is honestly the greatest thing because I was dreading her dying.

Final battle = awesome. I love that Daniels decides “we’ll bring it to my turf” i.e. the terraforming bay.

Okay, and now here is where I go off into multiple bullets about the ending holy fuck

DAVID WAS IMPERSONATING WALTER??? HE KILLED WALTER DURING THEIR FIGHT??? AND THEN IMPERSONATED HIM???? WHY????

It was honestly very sad when Daniels said to “Walter” about helping her build the “cabin on a lake” that she and her husband had planned – and then that realisation and horror when she realized that it wasn’t Walter but DAVID.

By this point David had already activated cryosleep in her pod and so she was panicking for like a good 20-40 seconds before the sleep overtook her and she couldn’t do anything about it.

David regurgitating and planting facehugger embryos with the normal embryos – I see what you’re doing there, David, don’t lie.

Overall, I loved the film – the cast were awesome, aliens were awesome, Katherine herself is awesome and deserves an honourable mention…I personally loved it. I’d probably give it a 7/10?