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#danger is a thousand prickles on my neck that tell me to run or to freeze
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Listening to my illegal downloads to get my Taylor fix w o giving her money
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theredtours · 2 years
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Need (lyrics)
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket you wore to the wrong part of town Desire is the sound of the whiskey telling me you miss me, can you come around
Passion is a passing thing it's Accidental chemistry Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire It ain't what you and I are at all
[Chorus] Oh, It's a need, it's a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go" I won't leave, it's a need
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck that tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had you were with someone else, you forgot about me
Passion is a passing thing it's Accidental chemistry Caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving This is like breathing for me [breathes]
[Chorus]
Baby it's always a new kiss every time we do this, the truth is It's essential to me that you love me more than wishing, longing
[Chorus]
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preraphaeliteknight · 2 years
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Need
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket you wore to the wrong part of town Desire is the sound of the whisky telling me you miss me “Can you come around?” Passion is a passing thing It’s accidental chemistry Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire It ain’t what you and I are at all
It’s a need, it’s a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me I won’t let you go, I won’t leave It’s a need Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck that tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had you were with someone else you forgot about me Passion is a passing thing It’s accidental chemistry Caught up in a feeling It can be deceiving This is like breathing for me It’s a need, it’s a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me I won’t let you go, I won’t leave It’s a need
Baby it’s always a new kiss every time we do this The truth is it’s essential to me that you love me More than wishing, longing OH
It’s a need, it’s a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me I won’t let you go, I won’t leave It’s a need
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raekensarcher · 2 years
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Thiam being Taylor coded
to add one more song to the never-ending list of swift songs that are so heavily thiam coded, I present to you “Need”
“Passion is a passing thing it’s accidental chemistry lust is a liar, a short-lived fire it ain’t what you and i are at all”
“oh, it’s a need, it’s a need i would go anywhere that you lead i am hopeless, breathless, burning slow touch me, hold me, tell me, “i won’t let you go” i won’t leave, it’s a need”
“danger is a thousand prickles on my neck that tell me to run or to freeze fear is the nightmare i had, you were with someone else you forgot about me”
“passion is a passing thing it’s accidental chemistry caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving this is like breathing for me”
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Want 😏 is the cigarette 🚬 smoke 💨 on a jacket 🧥
You 🫵 wore to 2️⃣ the wrong ❌ part of town 🌇
Desire 🥵 is the sound 🔊 of the whiskey 🥃
Telling 🗣️ me you 🫵 miss 😔 me, can 🥫 you 🫵come 😫 around ⚪
Passion 😏 is a passing 🚗 thing
It's accidental 😳 chemistry 🧪⚗️
Lust 🥵 is a liar 🤥 a short 📏 lit 💥 fire 🔥
It ain't 🚫 what 🤨 you 🫵 and I 👁️ are 🚫 at all 🙅
Oh 🅾️ it's a 🅰️ need 🤲 it's a need 🙏
I 👁️ would 🪵 go 🚗 anywhere 🌍 that you 🫵 lead 👭
I 👁️ am hopeless 😳 breathless 🫁 burning 🔥 slow ⌚
Touch 🤝 me 🙏 hold 🫂 me 🙏 tell 🗣️ me 🙏 I 👁️ won't 🚫 let you 🫵 go
I 👁️ won't 🚫 leave 🍂 it's a 🅰️ need 🙂‍↕️
Danger 😨 is 😳 a thousand 1️⃣0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ prickles 🥒 on my 😔 neck 🧣
That 🤔 tell 🗣️ me 🙃 to 2️⃣ run 🏃‍♀️ or ✋ to 2️⃣ freeze 🥶
Fear 😱 is the 😳 nightmare 😴 I 👁️ had 😔 you 🫵 were with 🤨 someone 🧐 else 👭
You 🫵 forgot 🧠 about me 😔
Passion 😏 is a passing 🚗 thing
It's accidental 😳 chemistry 🧪 ⚗️
Caught 🪤 up ⬆️ in a feeling 🤭 it can 🥫 be 🐝 deceiving 🧐
This 😏 is 😏 like 👍 breathing 🫁 for 4️⃣ me 😮‍💨
Oh 🅾️ it's a 🅰️ need 🤲 it's a need 🙏
I 👁️ would 🪵 go 🚗 anywhere 🌍 that you 🫵 lead 👭
I 👁️ am hopeless 😳 breathless 🫁 burning 🔥 slow ⌚
Touch 🤝 me 🙏 hold 🫂 me 🙏 tell 🗣️ me 🙏 I 👁️ won't 🚫 let you 🫵 go
I 👁️ won't 🚫 leave 🍂 it's a 🅰️ need 🙂‍↕️
Baby 👭 it's always ⌚
A 1️⃣ new 🤭 kiss 💋 every time ⏳ we 👭 do 😏 this
The ☝️ truth 🧐 is 😌
It's 😌 essential ☝️ to 2️⃣ me 🧍‍♀️
That 🫵 you 🫵 love 💖 me 🧍‍♀️ more ➕ than
Wishing 🌠 longing 📏
Oh 🅾️ it's a 🅰️ need 🤲 it's a need 🙏
I 👁️ would 🪵 go 🚗 anywhere 🌍 that you 🫵 lead 👭
I 👁️ am hopeless 😳 breathless 🫁 burning 🔥 slow ⌚
Touch 🤝 me 🙏 hold 🫂 me 🙏 tell 🗣️ me 🙏 I 👁️ won't 🚫 let you 🫵 go
I 👁️ won't 🚫 leave 🍂 it's a 🅰️ need 🙂‍↕️
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darling-aries · 1 year
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Taylor Swifts unreleased song Need 100% gives me GE Saeran and Ray vibes.
youtube
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket
You wore to the wrong part of town
Desire is the sound of the whiskey
Telling me you miss me, can you come around?
Passion is a passing thing
It's accidental chemistry
Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire
It ain't what you and I are at all
Oh, it's a need, it's a need
I would go anywhere that you lead
I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow
Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"
I won't leave, it's a need
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck
That tell me to run or to freeze
Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else
You forgot about me
Passion is a passing thing
It's accidental chemistry
Caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving
This is like breathing for me
Oh, it's a need, it's a need
I would go anywhere that you lead
I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow
Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"
I won't leave, it's a need
Baby, it's always
A new kiss every time we do this
The truth is
It's essential to me
That you love me more than
Wishing, longing
Oh, it's a need (It's a need), it's a need (Ah-ah, ah-ah)
I would go (I would go) anywhere (Anywhere) that you lead (Oh, oh)
I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow (Burning slow)
Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go"
I won't leave (I won't leave), it's a need (Oh)
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neil-jostenminyard · 1 year
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okay i DO think “Need” (one of t swift’s unreleased tracks from Lover) is very much an andreil song
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket
You wore to the wrong part of town
//
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck
That tell me to run or to freeze
//
Oh, it's a need, it's a need
I would go anywhere that you lead
I won't leave, it's a need
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hello I'm back with another taylorxwilmon lyric dissection and we're getting into unreleased tracks now bc I'm waiting for the day taylor releases need properly
@heartbreakprincewille @allthefakepeople have fun with the mutual swiftie breakdown besties <;33
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket You wore to the wrong part of town
the jacket reminds me of simon's iconic green jacket obviously, and wille's "want" for something he's not supposed to have. "the wrong part of town" feels like hillerska's attitude towards bjarstäd, especially august's little comment about it (inserting my obligatory fuck you to august <3)
Desire is the sound of the whiskey Telling me you miss me, can you come around?
wille's driven by his desire to be around simon, and this line is so s1ep4 football field call to simon. also the change from want to desire, and desire being a version of want that reflects wille's feelings from the football game to the football field scene strengthening
Passion is a passing thing It's accidental chemistry Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire It ain't what you and I are at all
WILMON CODED VERSE OF ALL TIME WHAT THE FUCK the best part of wilmon is the fact that they have an emotional connection on top of physical attraction, and something deeper than the video that could be interpreted as just a hookup (like how a lot of the forest ridger's attitudes towards simon are straight up dismissal in s2). also wille and simon both changing and becoming better for each other even when they were apart, showing that their relationship worked because they were committed to each other to a level beyond just passion
Oh, it's a need, it's a need I would go anywhere that you lead I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go" I won't leave, it's a need
simon during the valentine ball I'm sorry this is him and just the way wilmon linger and cling to each other every time they kiss like they need each other to live ;-; also simon telling wille he had to figure out what he wanted and what wille wanted was simon and now he's never letting go of them again ;-;
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck That tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else You forgot about me
I fully believe the video affected the way simon interacted with people in public much more than we're shown, and he's got a feeling of being in danger of being watched now sooo
and obviously the last two lines are wille and simon with marcus and felice respectively, but also "you forgot about me" and simon panicking when wille told him he was willing to move on at the valentine ball
Passion is a passing thing It's accidental chemistry Caught up in a feeling, it can be deceiving This is like breathing for me
this is like breathing for me !!!!!! the breathing in the s2 intro and the valentine kiss (yes I'm going to keep bringing up the valentine ball bc it's one of the best scenes in the show)!!!! and "caught up in a feeling" feels like their dynamic in s1 back when they were just getting to know each other and discovering their feelings 🥲🥲
Baby, it's always A new kiss every time we do this
ugh just wilmon kissing each other like it's the first and last time in literally every scene do I even have to say anything else
The truth is It's essential to me That you love me more than Wishing, longing
season two simon coded!!!! he wanted wille to love him and change and to give him a relationship that's both of them as a team, more than just wanting him back or telling simon what he wanted, and wille came through in the end :')
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Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck that tell me to run or to freeeeeeeze. Fear is nightmare I had you were with someone else you forgot about meeeeee.
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little-december · 1 year
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Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck
that tell me to run or to freeze
Fear is the nightmare I had,
you were with someone else
You forgot about me
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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I would go anywhere that you lead
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I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go" I won't leave, it's a need
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck That tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else You forgot about me
I don't know how she does it, but she does. Every time Taylor puts out a song I thought I would never relate to, I ended up relating to it somehow when I least expected it. Take for example the line in Hits Different, "I pictured you with other girls, in love.. then threw up on the street". I would never think that I would ever feel that way about someone, until I do. And Need is no different, even though it's an unreleased song.
I would definitely go anywhere that [my lover] lead. And I just relate to the whole,
"I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow Touch me, hold me, tell me, "I won't let you go" I won't leave, it's a need
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck That tell me to run or to freeze Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else You forgot about me"
part. For some reasons it spoke volumes to me. I want someone to tell me that they won't let me go (not in a scary way, more like they want to be with me cute way). And how I also have a fear my lover would be with someone else, which of course would be a nightmare if they eventually forgot about me.
I recently reconciled with someone from my past. So far, it's all coming back, why I left in the first place. Maybe I 'm being too harsh but I don't know if I still believed in people's ability to change. Perhaps people show us who they are and that's all that we have. Take them as they are, as they showed us. No more waiting if ever one day they might change.
It pains me to say, but as I get older (as you can tell by me coming back) and yet never wiser, at some point I learned that people treat you the way they feel about you. Stop waiting around for them and canceling plans just in case they called or came around. Start living and doing you, then the right people hopefully will walk into your life and stay. Stop being a doormat for people who only take from you and drain you. You deserve so much more than crumbs of attention and affection.
You deserve someone who chooses you everyday, someone who sees the stars in you even when you don't feel like your brightest at the moment. Like Taylor herself has said, love is not burning red (that's a red flag!), but it's golden -like Daylight. It's bright, warm, and safe. As well as having the ability to make you glow. Love is all that is right in the world. It doesn't pain nor hurt you. As I once read, someone who doesn't know how to love you right hurts you, but love never does.
Just because I would go anywhere that my lover lead, doesn't mean I would follow them blindly. When they're consistent, kind, thoughtful, gentle, and everything good -only then would I follow them and stick by their side. I know what I bring to the table and I've grown, goodbye miss gonna be alright someday (if only they treated me better). I won't follow them blindly out of fear or hope that they might change for the better or treat me better if I did everything they said. I tried that and it only ended up draining me and affecting my mental health terribly. I felt like walking on egg shells and one single misstep would end me. It's so unhealthy.
These days, no more hoping, waiting, and believing in someone's potential. Yes of course, I would still root for them to be the better version of themselves. However, I would see them as they present themselves to me. No more rose colored glasses, hoping one day they'd be a better person. Not if it's someone I'm going to be seeing exclusively.
Instead of hoping someone's a better texter or caller, I will be with someone who's already a consistent texter and caller. Someone who's excited to hear from me and I from them. Someone who's able to hold a conversation. Someone I could talk about anything and nothing with and never get bored. Instead of hoping someone will come and see me one day, I will be with someone who makes plans and follows through. Instead of hoping someone would be nicer to me, I will be with someone kind, gentle, and thoughtful. You get the idea. Instead of waiting for water to turn into ice, I will get me some ice cubes.
Just because I would go anywhere my lover would lead me, doesn't mean I would follow them blindly. Let alone if it's always on their terms and convenience, it's clearly not a partnership anyone deserves. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.
Here's hoping we will find a lover that is safe, gentle, and warm. Like Daylight.
Don't be a stranger,
soonyoullgetbetterx
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thatrandoontumbler · 16 days
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The Shadows of my Memories are Nightmares. (Part One)
Word Count: 881
This is the first time I’ve ever done something like this so it may not be the greatest. But either way I hope you enjoy. If you do, let me know if you’d like to see this continued. Have a good day!
It was blue. So clear and calm. That’s how it always started. But it never stayed that way. I remember sunlight and clouds. Laughter. Then an explosion. Trees burned, vision grew hazy. A small voice cried for her parents as she was torn away from the scene. A woman screamed out her final breaths while a man yelled out in fury and anguish. Dark black, soulless eyes sear themselves in my mind, evoking a primal fear. Then nothing. I don’t know why I remember this. 
     The sound of police sirens brings me back to the present. Everyone examines the black and white vehicles as other automobiles make way. They zoom past the block, disappearing just as fast as they came, back into the cityscape. You see cars like that all the time here. Rushing to the call of a victim somewhere in Manhattan. I won’t know the crime, or if the so called Enforcers of Justice will make it in time. I always thought New York was too big…too crowded…too dangerous. I run my thumb over the amethyst jewel around my neck for comfort. 
     I don’t quite know where I’m going, as I follow the steady stream of others trudging about with their day. I always seem to be wandering, trying to find a place people call home. But I can’t exactly seem to recall where mine is. So I keep walking. It’s been a while since this fruitless search began. Sometimes I forget what I’m looking for. I’m not the best at remembering. I rub the purple shard resting on my chest again.
     I shuffle through the sea of people, everyone pushed shoulder to shoulder except me. Everyone subconsciously makes enough room for me to walk unimpeded, indifferent and uncaring of my presence. Nothing more than an invisible woman. Just as it’s always been. For a moment I stop, the people continuing to go around me as if I don’t exist. But not everyone is ignoring me. As soon as I notice it, a slim man turns his hooded face and continues into the crowd. For a moment, I feel like I should know him. A slight burning starts to emit from where the gem of my necklace sits. My steps start up again.
     Two more sirens pass. How peculiar. A third one follows, accompanied by a fire truck. Now that I think about it, was the air a few blocks from here always that hazy? Suddenly the ground trembles, the sound of thousands of breaking panes of glass reach my ears as well as a loud boom. Everyone else hears it as well, their heads turning to the source of the noise. I pick up my pace. 
     The people on the sidewalks are getting visibly distressed and concerned as the seconds tick by. Then the panicked crowd reaches us. Hundreds of individuals flee in our direction, screaming and pushing to get out of the way of whatever has alarmed them. My power walk automatically turns into sprint, my thoughts urging me to find the epicenter of the panic. Having to dodge the frantic crowd is a bit of a hassle, but the struggle doesn’t last long. I don’t have to run far to reach the source of distress. 
     What may have once been a mighty tower is now a pillar of flames. I feel the inferno on my skin from half a block away. The surrounding buildings haven’t caught fire yet but it seems they were badly damaged from the shockwaves of the blast. The police are working on crowd control, getting people out safely. No one acknowledges I’m here. Except one. 
     A cold chill runs through my spine, making my skin prickle. Who’s watching? And then, as if I were hearing a whisper in my ear, a small part of my brain tells me I shouldn’t be here. Yet my legs remain rooted to their spot as I stare at the blaze, utterly captivated. The murmur tingling in my consciousness is now a roar, screaming for me to turn around. You shouldn’t be here! Leave!…Maybe I should go. The burning around my neck becomes more prominent than ever however, snapping me out of a stupor I wasn’t quite aware of. My attention turns toward the fire once more…this feels familiar. Something urges me to continue, a light pull tugging around my neck. I must get closer. The raging sirens and despair of the citizens around me dim to a low hum. With a steadily growing resolve I take a step toward the destruction, and in my mind nothing else matters. I will locate the source of this devastation.
     The same hooded man from earlier watches from a nearby rooftop, examining the young woman as she moves slowly but surely toward the wreckage. He sighs, rubbing his forehead. He had hoped it didn’t have to go this way. Well, not everything always goes the way you want it to, the man thinks to himself. He takes a breath and sighs again. The man debates whether or not he should tell Him. He decides against it. “She’s proceeding. Do I stop her?” A silence passes before he gets an answer through an earpiece. The voice’s response is deep, and accented in Russian. “Let her through. She has something we need.” 
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Need
Want is the cigarette smoke on a jacket
You wore to your favorite part of town
Desire is the sound of the whiskey
Telling me you miss me, can you come around?
Danger is a thousand prickles on my neck
That tell me to run or to freeze
Fear is the nightmare I had, you were with someone else
You forgot about me
Passion is a passing thing, accidental chemistry
Lust is a liar, a short-lived fire
It’s not what you and I are at all
Oh, it's a need
It’s a new kiss every time we kiss
I would go anywhere that you lead
I am hopeless, breathless, burning slow
Touch me, hold me, tell me you won’t let me go
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kayr0ss · 3 years
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Hands that Remember Chapter 2 [AO3]
[Horizon Zero Dawn, Elisabet Sobeck Lives, Found Family, Mother-Daughter Feelings, GAIA is recovering, Ereloy]
Summary: Aloy saw the recordings, felt their grief over the death of their culture - the loss of their identity. Ted Faro had blown away the light meant to guide humanity through darkness - but she was willing to risk it all to take it back. To bring APOLLO back.  It wasn't the first time that the world asked her for a miracle, but it bargained with a miracle of its own: This time - she didn't have to do it alone.
[Wherein Elisabet Sobeck returns, GAIA is recovering, Erend is done waiting around, and Aloy discovers a family she's never had before to help lift the weight of the world off her shoulders.]
Chapter 2: Re-Calibration
CHAPTER 2
--
It was such an odd thing to feel dirt again.
When was the last time she felt sediment and rock between her fingertips? A thousand years ago—quite literally. She’d forgotten the feel of it squeezing underneath the overhang of her nails, the discomfort of a pebble pressing on her heel within her shoe.
Little things. Living things.
GAIA Prime and all the other bunkers she had to oversee were exactly that: bunkers. Giant boxes of metal sealed from the world and its mounds of dust, dirt, and rock. But this disconnection wasn’t new: it’s been around since before she was locked away and working on Zero Dawn. It was there even back in Miriam, in FAS—even as far back as Stanford. So much time spent rushing towards the next breakthrough that she never had the time to stop and smell the flowers before they all burned away.
It was hard to wrap her head around the idea that flowers were back—blooming again somewhere out there. But for now she’d settle for the desert sand, riddled with weeds and other small signs of life.
She wondered what Erend might be thinking, seeing her run her fingers along the ground like a toddler. Eager to feel—to learn, no, relearn about a world she was only getting her bearings on. She caught a small blade of grass between her fingers. It’s alive, it’s all… alive again, she stared in wonder at the small miracle of live in her hand. Her return to consciousness was a violent experience. This was a nice change of pace.
The rest of the vanguard gave her and Erend privacy to talk, running errands in the nearby encampment and leaving them in the shade of an open tent. God knows she needed the space. She had questions—so many questions and while Erend tried his best to get her up to speed it seemed like there was always more. His rushed explanation was a disaster. Machines, cultists—whatever the fuck else was out there—and Aloy.
He said he’d try again and break it down slowly this time, sticking to what he knew and leaving the rest ‘to Aloy.’
‘Aloy’ sounded like a big shot. Someone important. Erend spoke about her with both familiarity and fondness—like how the other Alphas sounded when talking about one another. Whatever tangent he flew into—about what they had to fight off and how he believed it was related to herself and the other ‘Old Ones’—it always came back to Aloy. There was an unwavering faith he had in her that she could recognize: the feeling that they’ve fought together, bled together.
Endured something terrible together.
She remembered how he looked a little hurt earlier. “You’re Aloy’s mother, aren’t you?” He said it almost reverently, but unfortunately the answer was a very strong “no.” It must have been a misunderstanding—why would he think that?
“Got some boar roasting in camp.” Erend’s voice carried above the sound of his heavy footsteps. He walked closer, seating himself on a rock across her. “You feelin’ better?”
“I think so,” she admitted. “Alive. Which is better than the alternative when it comes to emerging from cryosleep if you ask me.”
“Good, good.” He crossed his arms. “Not hungry?”
Elisabet shook her head. “I don’t think I can taste anything yet.” She really hoped this side-effect was temporary.
“Well, let’s get you some soup. That’ll help.”
How she was feeling was a can of worms she didn’t want to open quite yet. Her body was on edge, the hairs along her arms standing in attention while she could feel the pace of her heart jog above average. It almost made her wince, the self-awareness of expecting a panic attack at any moment, but if her system had decided to be useful before shutting off completely later on, she was going to make the goddamn most of it.
Deep breaths.
She needed to take deep, long breaths. This was nothing but a jacked-up sympathetic nervous system stress response—there was no real danger. Just hypothetical fear. She needed to relax. She needed to think.
Orientation would be a good start—what, when, and where. And then she needed a plan. Something. Anything to do other than wander aimlessly like a fucking relic out of time. “You okay?”
It almost made her snap. He was asking if she was okay? She looked up, a smart quip loaded at the tip of her tongue but then—he looked so earnest, so concerned. An expression like that didn’t belong on a soldier.
“Not really, no.” She admitted.
“Huh.” Erend sat hunched over with his chin on one hand, looking comically close to that old statue of a thinking man if not for the wider breadth of his knees. He cleared his throat. “So…”
Despite the situation, she chuckled. “I’m glad to see that the most awkward of conversation starters evolved itself back into common use.”
The reference likely flew over his head, but he smiled while rubbing at the back of his neck almost shyly. He seemed… kinder than a hundred pounds of armor and a warhammer would seem like.
“I mean what am I even supposed to say?” He shrugged. “I uh, hit things with my hammer. You—and this predicament—are not things I’m gonna hit with my hammer.”
“That’s reassuring,” Elisabet deadpanned.
“You sure you aren’t Aloy’s mother?” Erend cracked her a lopsided grin.
Elisabet rubbed at her temple. “I think I’d know if I was. Is it wishful thinking to hope you guys have any ibuprofen?”
She had been pointedly ignoring his assertions that she was anyone’s mother. There were more pressing concerns to address, foremost of which was the distinct lack of technology. She’s only been up and about for a few hours but it was enough to notice the rudimentary tools and structures, along with the fact that Erend seemed to be the only other person with access to technology similar to hers.
“I’d check if we do, if I had any idea of what that is.”
“Where are we?”
“The furthest west I’ve ever been, honestly.” Erend shrugged. “I’m not familiar with these lands. We generally call it The Forbidden West—but there isn’t much else we know. Just more… sand, and dust. I’ve heard stories of trees that grew on sand, at the border of an endless lake. Never been there to see it myself.” He paused thoughtfully. “I uh, made a short trek back east from where I found you. About an hour or a little more.”
Elisabet stayed quiet, willing herself not to ask the question prickling at the tip of her tongue.
“Was that your home?” Erend asked quietly. “Where I found you. With the tall, pointed trees and the old stone structure.”
“Pines,” she supplied. “The trees, I meant. I thought you would know this by now.”
He grunted. “I’m a captain. Pretty good darned captain too, but no tree expert.”
“No, no.” She shook her head. “Sorry, I meant you as in people, in general. The kinds of trees and animals, our history and technology—we tried to pass that on.”
Something wasn’t right—a feeling that’s been weighing on her since her awakening.
Erend and the vanguard were outfitted with plate armor and looked to have no means of transportation other than by foot. They had waterskins instead of thermal containers and their basic camping supplies were made of fibers and tanned leather. Nevermind real-time mapping and wireless communication. ‘Battle-ready’ wasn’t exactly what came to mind, and she’d have paid to hear Herres’ take on 31st century military technology. She might have even chuckled, had the implication not been so dire. Something had definitely gone wrong.
“Is the nearby encampment allied with you?”
“It was established by the Carja military as a way station, under the Sundom’s jurisdiction.” Erend beckoned her nearer, shuffling towards the side to leave space on the large, slated rock he was sitting on. “Ever since the Battle at the Spire, the Sun King’s been allowing expeditions towards the west—Aloy’s got a hunch that something is going on over there and you could guess that most of everyone listens to her these days. Whether she likes it or not.”
Carja. Sundom. Factions and nations, most likely?
“Just a minute.” He fumbled a little with his focus, looking up and awkwardly moving his hands in thin air. His frustration was noticeable in the deep set of his brows. “Aloy’s done this before—a map, on scrolls of light. She could share it with me while it, uh, did its floaty thing.”
“Do you have the map open?” Elisabet tapped her focus, hearing the small digital beam alert her of its activity. Technology was a familiar comfort—something to ground her. She whistled lowly while running a system check on the piece of hardware, trying not to wince at the fact that the date read January 14, 3041. The 31st fucking century. Safe to say it’s still working way past warranty declarations. “I think I got it.”
“How did you—its telling me that an external device accessed my display?”
“Hacking it,” she smiled. “This is more or less my area of expertise.”
“Right,” Erend nodded. “So we’re right over here.” He pointed towards a small glowing indicator.
“Outskirts of Carson City.” She had said it so softly it surprised her. She never pegged herself as particularly sentimental but being so close to home… after everything.
“And this,” he moved to the east. “Is the Sundom, and to its eastern border is the Nora’s Sacred Lands.”
Elisabet let herself have a moment of evaluation, eyes moving around the map to absorb as much information as she could. The satellite image let her know that the area’s topography reverted to pre-Faro Plague days: desert and canyons. Forested mountains covered the range to the east, but the northern range where she recalled Yellowstone was seemed erratically cold and glacial.
Information was a valuable resource she was lacking in.
“I need to get to the most developed settlement,” she muttered to herself. “Acclimate to customs and culture before finding a means to find and access ZD bunkers.”
“Bunkers?” Erend blinked.
“I assume that camps similar to this one are interspersed between the border of the Sundom and our location? At distances accessible by foot?”
“Yes, but—”
“I have to account for hostility along the road.” She crossed her arms. “And resources for supplies. What currency do you trade with?”
“Look,” Erend’s tone was firm. “We are going to take care of hostility and resources, because we’re going with you.”
“I—”
“You need to slow down,” Erend rose to his feet. “We don’t even know for sure if you’re okay after getting thawed out a thousand years later.”
“I need to figure out what happened to Zero Dawn. Find GAIA, and then—”
“Elisabet,” his voice was softer again, big and heavy hands settling on her shoulders. “We have time.”
Time? Of course they didn’t! There were a million things left to do and only two weeks until—
“The world isn’t ending anymore.”
--
He’d finally convinced her to sit down and get something to eat and it wasn’t damn easy. Elisabet was back to the makeshift planning table even before swallowing down her last bite and by the forge it was driving Erend just a little bit crazy.
“This is where we’re headed.”
Erend marked his own map, one that was tangible and inked on parchment instead of light. More reliable, if you asked him. Didn’t flicker in and out of sight—and didn’t make him look like a total jackass in front of his vanguard, waving his fingers around something they couldn’t see.
It was nearing sundown. The vanguard packed up ahead of time; they were leaving at the break of dawn. Erend split the party in two—one was to continue the expedition towards the Western Threshold, and the other, with Erend, was to hurry back to Meridian discreetly. It was a plan forged into metal: Erend needed to talk to Avad, while Elisabet seemed particularly interested in the Spire once he mentioned it.
“Utah and Colorado,” Elisabet whispered in wonder, tapping her focus on likely projecting a light-based rendering of them map on top of his own. “The staging areas for Zero Dawn.”
Erend looked at her with curiosity. “S’that what they used to be called? Before… before the whole thing—”
“Ended?” She punctuated, sensing his discomfort. But then she gave him a slight smile—it was different from Aloy’s. Wiser and wearier. “Though that’d be wrong. We’re still here, somehow.”
He smirked. “Don’t look so surprised. Didn’t you have somethin’ to do with that?”
“I’m just one of many,” she looked back towards the map. Didn’t look ready to talk about that, it seemed. “So what have we got?”
“We’re not in a hurry. We can take the traders’ path on the way back.” He pointed along a red, snaking line etched on the surface of the parchment. It was well-lit, well-guarded, and easy to traverse with enough camps in-between to restock and rest. He tapped twice on a marker at the end of route: it was a black, soaring tower. The good ‘ol Spire.
“That’d take us too long.” Elisabet shook her head. “We could go through these passes through the ridges. Cut straight through and save both time and resources.”
“It’s dangerous.”
“And time—”
“—is something you have now.” Erend stood his ground, arms crossed. “As I keep reiterating to you.”
“I’ve noticed.” Elisabet set her jaw. Then she sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to—” she waved a hand over the map “—this.”
“You mean not being the one in charge?” Erend grinned.
“I didn’t really ask for that,” she smiled back kindly. “But old habits die hard.”
“The long way to Meridian it is, then.”
--
Sobeck Journal, 1-14-41
We did it.
Even this barren desert looks beautiful. Can’t shake the feeling that I don’t deserve to see it all though.
Not without the rest of ZD. Without the rest of you.
I’m going to forego writing about how I feel because I don’t even know where to begin digging up that can of shit. Exhaustion was always an effective sleeping pill back in the day: now that I’ve got time to think when I lay down everything is so loud. Given the state of things I doubt they’d invented melatonin pills yet either, but who am I to complain? Alive is still better than dead.
Off to sleep now. Something’s wrong with APOLLO. More things to figure out tomorrow.
After all these years, I still don’t get to rest.
--
[“—someone— … —back to see—“]
“Great timing as usual.” Aloy hissed under her breath. The strider she was on was nearly worn down. She was an hour’s ride away from the forest’s edge—right where the sands of the Barrens began. That’s what she was going to call them anyway: “the Barrens.” Those prissy cartographers up in the mesa have no idea just how large the West was. It wasn’t all sand and tumbleweed: there were forests so different from the Jewel and the Sacred Lands that she didn’t know how to begin describing them! And the lake… the biggest she’s ever seen. A body of water so large it must have cloaked the world’s entirety. She’s seen it on the spherical maps stored in her focus—a depth of blue so imposing she couldn’t even wrap her head around it. The air was different along the lake’s edge—salty and crisp. Both beautiful and foreign and so very unforgiving.
She gently stroked the side of the strider’s neck. She didn’t want to wear him down completely—best to leave enough so that he could carry on and survive another day. Herds of broadheads often wandered around the Barrens anyway, although not found as often as in Meridian and to the East.
She’s been getting scrambled messages from Erend for the better part of a day now. He sounded panicked. He hated using his focus but there was apparently something important enough for him to try. It seemed desperately urgent and the only thing she could make of his messages was that she needed to go back.
Chasing after GAIA and whatever was left of APOLLO was going to have to wait.
Her strider whinnied—Aloy hummed a small apology she hoped it could understand. If she found a charger it’d be better—she could ride through evening on a mount strong enough to discourage smaller machines from engaging them. By next evening she could rest by the ranch.
Aloy bit her lip, a soft feeling of longing at her gut. That’s what Elisabet called it in her journals anyway—Sobeck Ranch. A small speck of life, trees, and flowers on the eastern edge of the Barrens. A small place to rest before another two days’ ride to Meridian.
She remembers how freeing it felt to tell Rost about her misadventures so far. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to take a few minutes for Elisabet and do the same.
She urged the strider to run a little faster, wind whipping at her hair and the tassels of her armor. “Just a bit more, big guy. Just a little more.”
-
A/N: Thank you once again to Tototops for beta-reading this chapter!
It's been a hot minute but here we go with chapter 2!
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angelguk · 5 years
Text
→ sorry (not sorry) — a jeongguk scenario
member: jeon jeongguk
word count: 8.1k
genre: smut + umm everyone is pining on each other + jeongguk has a secret crush on oc hehe + college!au + fluff (kind of) + enemies to let’s fuck cause i like you lmaoo
warnings: oral sex (f receiving) / mutual orgasms / face sitting / fingering / jeongguk has a big dick / plot is there somewhere / this is continuation of the drabble where jeongguk broke oc’s vibrator (go read it in my masterlist if you would like but this can be read separately!) / protected sex / use of the pet name baby / a little bit of biting hehe
soundtracks: crush, cigarettes after sex + manic pixie dream, chloe lilac  
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Jeongguk knows there’s something wrong the moment you step through the door. There’s a palpable tension in the air as you strut past the living room, where he’s sitting lax on the couch bundled up in the soft grey blankets Seokjin had bought for the apartment. You don’t spare him a glance but Jeongguk’s eyes move without his permission, gaze greedily trailing after your figure. The dress clinging to your frame shimmers in the soft glow of the apartment lights, a deep claret that looks stunning against your skin tone. His throat goes dry the moment your strides bring the high slit cut along the side into existence. The sudden span of skin makes his mind go blank, tongue heavy in his mouth as he stares at you. The greeting he was about to mutter stays lost in his throat, a strange throbbing in the back of his head matching the rhythm of your heels clacking sharply against the tiles.
It wasn’t like you were going to say anything back to him, he reasons, the thud of your door slamming resounding through the quiet building. Seokjin wasn’t home for once, leaving the two of you to wallow in your mutual relationship of abhorrence - except it wasn’t a mutual relationship at all. While Jeongguk knew you hated him, he never disliked you. Yes, sometimes you irked him with your obstinacy and sharp words but you were also hilarious and unabashedly spoke your mind; traits he greatly admired. He enjoyed being your roommate for the most part. The jabs you threw at him were always handed back with a mellow grin and a muffled laugh on his side but that was shattered by the incident. Which Jeongguk has been painfully trying to forget.
He’ll admit, he was wrong for that. Digging through other people’s stuff was out of character for him but Seokjin had sworn he’d seen you using a massaging machine when Jeongguk had voiced his extreme back pain to him one afternoon. He’d waited patiently for you to come home so that he could ask to borrow it, but it was growing late and his back was aching so he decided to borrow it first and ask later. He hadn’t intended on breaking the thing. It had just given up after a few hard presses into the thick knots in his shoulders. Jeongguk had neatly tucked it back exactly where he found it, completely unaware that he had ruined the mechanics of it. He didn’t even think you would notice, but of course, you did - it was your vibrator after all.
He cringes even at that minute realization, tugging the blankets tighter around him as his eyes stare blankly at the show flashing on the television screen. There’s an essay demanding to be written on his laptop but every fibre in his being is refusing to do it, the tension in the household making his stress one thousand times worse. He didn’t even like coming home nowadays - too many awkward silences and hate-filled glares in this confining space. But he’d abused his right to sleep on Jimin’s couch and had been promptly kicked out by his best friend due to that. Being in the apartment still sucked. Massively. Because you’ve barely spoken to him. It’s been two weeks since the incident and not a peep had come out of your mouth. Seokjin had reached a point where he’d began demanding that dinner had to be eaten together, once he’d picked up on the rage radiating off you whenever you were around Jeongguk. But that just ended in you shovelling your food down your throat and leaving the table early while Seokjin just stared at the both of you and Jeongguk just stared at his food. It was beginning to become inconvenient for everyone around you - especially your joint group of friends.
But he didn’t know how to approach you anymore, the apology Namjoon and Hoseok made him rehearse sticking to the back of his throat whenever you were around. You made everything seem cold, with your clamped lips and harsh eyes. If he’s being honest with himself, he misses the small smiles he would rise out of you whenever the two of you argued. And the sound of your giggles colouring the room. And having you look at him with a gaze that didn’t scream hatred. In general, he just misses you.
But it’s not like you’re going to let him in. He must have crossed a line, broken something in the precarious relationship you had. And it makes him mad at himself.
“Jeongguk?” It’s quiet, breaking through the drone of the television and hitting his ears hard. For a split-second he thinks he’s imagined it, the sound of his name leaving your lips. But then you say it again, firmer this time. A demand for attention. “Jeongguk?”
“Huh, yeah?” He’s scrambling off the seat, nearly tumbling onto the floor due to the tight bundle he’d wrapped himself in. “Yes?”
“Could you come here for a minute?” The door is cracked open, your face peeking through the tiny opening. Even from this distance, he can tell that your mascara is smudged, dark shadows streaking down your cheeks. He moves without a compliant, tossing the blanket onto the couch as he shuffles towards your room. There’s a tight feeling in his chest, and suddenly the television seems nonexistent, a silence in his head that’s punctuated by the thumping of his heart.
You stay quiet, falling back into the room with your back turned to him. Jeongguk follows, hesitant as he steps inside your space. A stark contrast to his brazen behaviour the last time he was in here, shamelessly digging through your stuff. The heels you were wearing sit idle in the corner of your room, little black strappy things that make his skin heat up. But then his gaze travels to you, standing expectant by your bed, and suddenly the air seems like it’s stifling, closing in on him with every passing second.
The glimpse he got of your walking past when you’d stormed into the apartment is nothing compared to this. The dress is fitted, shimmery fabric flitting perfectly along every curve and line of your body. It dips dangerously in the front, soft fabric draping over your chest. He keeps his eyes on your face though, afraid to stray further down because there’s a situation rapidly forming in his pants. But the frustrated look you’re giving him puts an end to that rather quickly, his apprehension settling firmly on his shoulders.
“Yeah?” He says because you’re not saying anything, eyes distant as your stare at the wall behind him. You shake your head the moment he speaks, the little gold chain dangling around your neck swaying with the movement.
“Sorry, I’m a little bit out of it. Could you help me unzip my dress?”
Jeongguk blanches. It’s a natural response, the blood in his system already roaring. He doesn’t know what to say, mouth agape, like a fish as you look at him, gaze unwavering.
“Y-yeah, sure,” He splutters, feet moving closer. But his palms are clammy and when you turn around, displaying the zip that runs along the back of your dress, his breath hitches. Everything in him hopes you didn’t hear that.
“Thank you,” You mumble, somewhat embarrassed by your request. You have been valiantly ignoring Jeongguk for the past few weeks now, so asking him for this favour was completely out of place. But you desperately need to get out of this dress, already irritated by the audacity and rudeness of the stupid boy you’d agreed to go out on a date with. He’d said so many infuriating things that you can’t even begin to think about them or your blood pressure spikes. And with the absence of your preferred toy due to Jeongguk’s annoying curiosity, you’d also lost one of your favourite forms of stress relief that you enjoyed. The sexual frustration coupled with the horrible date you’ve just experienced had you on edge and the last thing you wanted was this dress clinging to your skin. You don’t even know why you wore it - that guy didn’t deserve to see you in it anyway.
“Were you on a date?” You nearly jump, Jeongguk’s silk voice slipping around your frame. There’s a warm hand on your back, tugging at the zip keeping this dress fastened to your body. The sudden closeness makes your skin prickle, a tingle in your gut that you chose to ignore.
“Um - yeah.” It’s the only thing you can muster up right now, brain zoning in on the graze of Jeongguk’s hand along your back as he pulls the zipper down. It’s quick, the dress falling away as he does so. You keep the front up with a tight hold against your chest, the thumping of your heart under your palm making your head swim. It doesn’t help that his hand doesn’t move despite the zipper being down, warm palm pressed against the small of your back.
“With who?” It’s not accusatory or demanding, genuine curiosity in his tone, his breath a phantom against your back.
“No one.” You refuse to even think about the guy. Mentioning his name would rekindle the anger you felt throughout the date.
“Was he a dick?” Jeongguk asks, voice gentle. He finally moves away, the absence of the warmth of his palm nearly making you step back into him, searching for that strange comfort.
“Yes,” You retort instead, turning around to find his eyes on you, something swimming in the brown of his eyes. You can’t decipher what he’s thinking.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” He mumbles, rocking on the soles of his feet. “That sucks.”
“It does,” You reply, feeling oddly exposed even though the front of your dress is pressed against your chest. Jeongguk nods, and you suddenly begin to wonder why he’s still in the room. When you open your mouth to tell him to leave, Jeongguk beats you to it, babbling out something that has your body freezing over.
“Were you going to sleep with him?” He asks, eyes glued on the floor. It rushes out his mouth, the words bleeding into each other in his hastiness. 
“How is that any of your business?” You snap back, wanting him away from you immediately. The irritation that you feel against Jeongguk that you’d allowed to subside for a moment comes violently rushing back, sending your blood pounding in your head. A small part of you still lingers on the warm print of his palm against your skin, though, reluctant to give up the emotions you felt when he was touching you just yet. 
“It’s just - you’re wearing that - that matching stuff,” He mumbles. Stuff? He’s talking like he’s twelve.
“You mean my lingerie?” Your cheeks burn when you realise that you’d accidentally given Jeongguk a front-row seat to view your undergarments when you’d asked him to unzip you.
“Yeah.”
“Well...I wasn’t opposed to sleeping with him. And then he turned out to be a dick so I left.” You hope he can dedict the lack of interest to keep this conversation going in your voice. He doesn’t.
“Oh. Bummer.”
“Yep.” You’re starting to get annoyed at him. “You can leave now.”
That does sting, a sharp little dagger settling in his heart, but Jeongguk nods away, hating how hot his face is. He doesn’t look at you as he walks away, hands balled up in a tight fist and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. It’s only at the doorway that he halts, slipper shuffling against the ground. When he glances back, mouth falling open, you can’t help but note the rouge tinge of his ears peeking out from his messy brown curly man. Or the strange determination swimming in his eyes.
“Sorry about your vibrator,” Jeongguk murmurs, tone timider than he intended. He clears his throat, gaze faltering from yours. “I really didn’t mean to break it. I can get you a new one soon. I’ve saved up enough - I think. Just tell me the make and I’ll sort out the rest,”
You nibble at the inside of your cheek, a funny feeling blooming within your chest. But your mood is still too sore to soften up to his apology just yet. There’s still a lot about Jeongguk that irks you, but this was nice of him. His genuineness draws a tiny smile onto your face.
“It’s fine, Jeongguk. You didn’t need to do that. I’ve already ordered a new one. I was just really mad at you for snooping through my stuff-”
“I’m sorry about that too,” He interrupts, slipping back into your room. He must have forgotten that you’re still half-naked. You clutch the front of your dress tightly, ignoring the odd warmth the ebbs from your core. “It was totally out of line and I understand why you were mad. I still want to get you something, though. Food, maybe? Or another toy?” The way his cheeks bloom rose makes your heart slam into your chest. “Ignore me. I’m just blabbering at this point.”
You huff out a laugh, despite being slightly irritated. “Did offer me something better.” There’s a long beat of silence that follows that. You intended it to be a joke, yet the words feel like something else entirely. It came out without a second thought, but you immediately want to snatch back the words, the silence that descends upon you suffocating. You suddenly can’t look at Jeongguk and he’s blatantly not staring at you. When you finally gained the courage to tear your eyes away from the pedicure on your feet (which was a waste really), Jeongguk’s mouth is already parting, a series of words drifting from his mouth that make your heart stop in your chest.
“My offer..still stands if you want it.” There’s instant regret on his face. He doesn’t know why he said that. Perhaps it’s the way you look in that dress that has his head feeling foggy. Or maybe it's how warm your body felt underneath his fingertips. Or maybe it's the tiny (read massive) crush that he’s been harbouring over you for the past five months turning the gears in his head. But he sees the incredulity plastered across your face he wants the press rewind button on his life so bad. So so bad. 
He chokes out a laugh swiftly. “I’m joking, don’t worry.” And then he spins on his heel and wonders how much it would cost to move to Cuba right now. Like right now. He’ll book the plane ticket the second he’s out of your room. But you stop him from leaving with a simple sentence that has his whole body lighting up in a blazing fire that threatens to consume him.
“Are you really joking, Jeongguk?”
His smile is sheepish when he slowly turns back around. “...No?” A lot is running through his head and he stumbles over the words that fall out of his mouth. “If you want to, of course. I mean - your vibrator is broken and I - I don’t know what other toys you have but I presume you’re still sexually frustrated and I don’t mind if you use me - not like that but like I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to - I don’t know how to put this but like I said before a replacement. I could be like a replacement, if you want to I would be down. I wouldn’t mind it if-”
“Jeongguk, relax. I get it.” You’re so calm and it’s making him even more anxious. He despises the loud thumping of his heart that roars in his head. But he’s so caught up in his mind, overanalyzing his actions, that he misses the blush spreading across your skin. 
“I don’t need a dick replacement,” You say. He deflates. Which he didn’t expect to happen but he literally feels how his chest sinks into itself. “I have a dildo.”
“Okay.” He forces it out, ready to leave because this situation is the most embarrassing thing he’s ever thrown himself into. “That’s fine. That’s okay.”
“No wait - I don’t really enjoy using it...So if you want...I wouldn’t be opposed to your offer.” You can feel your blood rushing into your heart, a frenetic thumping inside of your chest that hurts. There’s a warmth in your core that makes you agree to it. It doesn’t help that Jeongguk is naturally attractive; easy grin and contagious laugh that you’d gradually learnt to love during your time with him. And that’s not including the way he’s built. You’re not blind. You live with him for heaven’s sake. Jeongguk also had an affinity for walking around shirtless at ridiculous times. There were moments where you had to hole yourself up in your room because you just couldn’t stand to see his golden bare skin on displayed, firm toned muscles and broad shoulders luring you. There was a reason you avoided Jeongguk during your ovulation. Not like he noticed that anyway.
Even now, with his worn plaid pyjama pants clinging around his tapered waist and the loose sheer white shirt billowing from his body, he still looks good. Your face is warm, palms clammy at the prospect of touching him. Then he cocks his head, soft curls tumbling into his face and the corner of his petal pink lip turning upward. You abhor how your burst, like a star, the heat that erupts through you dangerous. 
“You sure?” He ruffles his head, hesitant, but he’s moving towards you with quick steps. 
“Yes.” You hope it came out firm, not shaky like it sounded in your throat. He’s incredibly close now, and you can’t help but clutch the front of your dress with taut fingers, like you don’t want him to take it off. He notes that with a quick flicker downward of his eyes, halting right in front of you.
“Are you really sure?” There’s apprehension clinging to his question.
“Yes,” You reiterate, fingers itching to slip underneath his chest. His chest is so wide. Why is his chest so wide? “Are we going to do this or not?”
“Yeah, um, yes. We’re doing this.” Jeongguk can’t believe that he’s doing this. That you’re allowing him to do this. He also doesn’t know where to begin, brain blanking with the torrent of fantasies that pour from his mind. But then his gaze slips down to your bright crimson covered lips and he naturally moves in without a second thought. He can start there right. Just a kiss, a simple kiss. If it’s so simple why does his brain feel like it’s going to explode?
You can see the thought settle in his head the moment his brown eyes settle on you. You’re so close that you can see the multitude of tones swimming in his gaze; speckles of honey and gold that hold you captive in this silence, your heart drumming fast in your chest. His tongue sneaks out to swipe at his bottom lip, pink and wet. You can’t deny the shiver that travels across your skin, descending deep inside your gut, kindling a flame that threatens to consume you. When he closes in on you, you freeze, wine coated tongue heavy in your mouth. You forget how to breathe for a moment, frazzled by the sudden enclosure. But then you feel his breath brush against you and your brain snaps back into the moment.
“Don’t kiss me.” It’s harsher than it sounded in your head. He’s wounded, evident by the long look he gives you as he pulls away, the hands that were moulding around your waist drawing back too.
“Okay.” It’s somewhat timid, uncharacteristic for Jeongguk. He seems suddenly unsure like he’s trekking on undiscovered ground and he’s afraid to act on the whims swimming in his head in case he provokes you and ends up getting hurt. You want to tell him that you don’t bite, but you're too on edge tonight to coddle him. But he still gives you that kicked puppy look, doe eyes staring at you bewildered. “No kissing.”
“No kissing,” You affirm, clutching onto your dress rather desperately. “Let’s not do more than we have to.”
“But are you even wet?” Jeongguk questions, standing rather awkwardly. You pretend not to notice the tent in his sweatpants. But he also has a point. Despite the tension in the air, you’re rather dry between your legs. He must know he’s right because there’s a glimmer of a smirk tugging at his pink lips, eyes suddenly glinting deviously. “I knew it. You’re not even wet.”
“Why would I be?” You retort, skin hot from the attention of his gaze. “You’ve barely even touched me.”
“Because you won’t even let me,” He retorts. His hands suddenly settling on your waist, drawing you closer to him. Maybe you let out a little noise that you refuse to acknowledge. Jeongguk eats it up though, firm hands trailing gently along the smooth fabric of your dress. “If you could just,” He tugs at it, rather roughly and something spikes in your belly. “Take this off, we could start.”
“I don’t recall my vibrator being able to talk and make demands,” You bite back, grasp firm on the flimsy material that’s preventing you from being butt naked in front of your least favourite roommate. Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow, his hands resting along your back, the heat of his palm against the silver of exposed skin there making your eyes flutter.
“You want me to be quiet?” The immediate answer is no. You despised it when your partners were silent. Noises were a confirmation that you were doing things right - making them feel the way you were feeling. It was also an ego boost that you desired, something that made you feel completely in control and capable for once. But you’re not sure that you want to share that intimacy with Jeongguk of all people. He was the guy who ate your leftovers without asking, left dirty socks all over the apartment and never did he’s dishes for some reason. He was also the reason you were in this predicament in the first place; because he was the one who’d dug through your stuff and broken your vibrator. You’re both infuriated and turned on, mind struggling to form a response because the pads of his fingers are grazing your skin, gently coaxing you further into his arms, a tremor echoing between your legs. You feel stupid, for being so compliant to his ministrations. But you can’t help it, already a slither of slick pooling inside your underwear from the look he’s given you coupled with the steady graze of his fingers on your back.
“I asked you a question.” There’s a sudden burst of confidence in his voice that you detect right away, most likely a consequence of the way you’re swaying in his arms. “This is about you, you know. What do you want?” That takes you off guard. You look at Jeongguk again, taking in the soft chestnut curls framing his face, brown eyes warm. There’s a funny feeling wrapping itself around your heart. You want to shake it off but it’s got claws and they dig deep until you’re left dazed.
“My neck,” You can give him that. The intimacy of having his lips on yours is not something you can handle right now. “You can kiss my neck.”
Jeongguk sighs, the soft sound floating between you as he pulls you closer. He doesn’t bother to hide the erection in his pants, his cock pressing a hard line against your stomach as he leans in, face dipping into the hollow of your neck. You jolt the moment his mouth meets your scorching skin, pushing yourself further into his sure arms, thighs instinctively pressing against each other. “Of course you’re sensitive here,” He muffles, wet tongue firm along your skin. He licks a slow stripe, coaxing another jolt from your pliant body. Your palms are splayed across his chest, the firm ropes of muscle and the erratic beating of his heart beneath your fingertips making your legs weak. And then he murmurs, tone desperate, “Take this thing off.” He moves so fast that you’re left stunned, the straps of your dress slipping down your side in his hast to get you naked. The fabric hits the floor with a soft thud, piling around your feet. He helps you out of it, gently directed you towards your bed.
The mattress sinks underneath your weight, but you barely have time to think about it because Jeongguk is caving you in, mouth back on your neck where he prints himself there. There’s a heat that surrounds your tangled bodies, sweltering in a way that makes everything heady. You cling onto him naturally, searching for a way to roll your hips into his as his mouth finds new ways to make you sigh underneath him, a steady wetness blossoming in between your legs. But Jeongguk pins you down, drawing away swiftly, his hands on your hips. 
Why the hell is his shirt on? It should be off. Right now. 
You move to yank the fabric over his head, but he halts with a soft shake of his head, pink tongue sneaking out to swipe at his bottom lip. When he sighs, gaze slowly trailing down your exposed body, something in your gut sharply tightens. His fingertips begin to wonder, pausing at the band of your black underwear. He toys with it, not seeing how your gaze is focused on the very obvious tent he’s sporting.
“You’re hard.” You can’t help but say it. The fabric of his pyjama pants is so flimsy and you can see the outline of his dick without any obstruction. You have a sneaky suspicion that he’s currently going commando.
He laughs, a low sound that fills your chest. “Yeah, I am. You’re really fucking hot.” He pulls the band of your underwear. It stings when it snaps back into your skin - but you like it. “But this is not about me,” Jeongguk continues, gaze flickering upward. His eyes lock into yours and your head spins with how intense the brown in his eyes is. His steady stare glazed over with want that you can feel. His fingers drift back to your underwear, tugging at the fabric gingerly. “What do you want?” He asks again.
“I’d like it if you fucked me,” You reply, fighting through nervousness that grips at your heart. Jeongguk blinks at that. And then he smiles, a grin that’s bright and makes your heart beat wildly. 
“You’re not wet enough,” Jeongguk returns, a playfulness in his tone that’s very foreign to you. You like it though, more than you should if you’re being honest with yourself. You don’t expect the firm press of his fingers against your clothed cunt - nor the rush of arousal that gushes out from you. He grins again, grinding his fingertips right where you need him most. There’s a warmth creeping across your face because he’s unabashed with how he touches you, something you never expected from Jeongguk. 
What were you ever expecting from Jeongguk?
“See,” He says, cutting through that weird revelation in your head. “You’re not wet enough.” His trails his fingertips upwards, gingerly flicking at your clit with a smug smile on his face.
You scowl, ignoring the way your heart thumps when he does that. He’s wrong but you refuse to tell him that you’re leaking through your underwear, there would be a damp stain if the fabric wasn’t that dark. And you can feel your sling slipping onto your thighs, walls already clenching. You refuse to give him that satisfaction though. He’d barely touched you and you were dripping. His ego would never deflate.
“Make me wet enough then,” You retort instead, a blaze building in your core when he fixes you with a heated gaze.
“Make you?” He hums, fingers suddenly slipping underneath the band of your underwear. Your breath hitches at the press of his skin against your own. “Okay. Take this off. Would you like it if I ate you out?”
His eyes hold a hope that you can’t help but give into with a shy nod. You raise your hips so he can help you shimmy out of your underwear, the air cool against your bare body. But that’s quickly replaced with a warmth that sinks into your skin when Jeongguk buries his head between your thighs, his body shuffling further down the bed, his hands swinging your legs over his shoulder. You don’t expect the first lick against your folds. Your body reacts before your mind can even register the press of his tongue against you, thighs trembling around his head. Jeongguk feeds off of that, sinking his mouth on you quickly. It’s not tentative or shy, Jeongguk’s assured in his actions, his tongue pressing flat against your cunt with no hesitation. He licks you open with a soft sigh drifting from the back of his throat, deft tongue slipping into your dripping hole when your hands settle on his head. You yank at the curls sprouting from his head, hips squirming underneath the steady assault of his tongue. From the way his tongue sinks deeper into you, you can tell that he likes it, another groan against your cunt when you claw your nails into his scalp.
“J-Jeongguk!” He doesn’t shift away from the desperate grinding of your hips, a determination in the way his mouth moves against you, lips latching around your clit firmly. He swirls his tongue around it, quick little flicks that follow leaving you breathless. You can feel your wetness spreading around his mouth, it’s obscene, how much he coaxes out from you. The heat in your core spikes when he draws away and your eyes take him in. 
His hair is ruined, dark curls tousled form your desperate grabs and tugs. And his mouth glistens with your arousal, pink tongue sneaking out to press a kitten lick along your dripping folds. You chase after it, embarrassed at the knowing look Jeongguk gives you. He doesn’t comment on your neediness though, instead planting a brief kiss against your cunt, leaving you wanting for even more when he draws away. Your mouth is open, demanding for him to slip himself between your lips. But Jeongguk beats you to it.
“Wanna sit on my face?” You don’t miss the nervousness in his eyes. Which is truly confusing to you. This boy just had his tongue deep inside of you and he’s still apprehensive enough to stare at you with those wide doe eyes of his.
“Yeah, sure why not.” You reply, trying to keep your tone casual but you positively buzz when that pretty smile of his spreads across his lips. You both move rather quickly, despite not being able to touch each other. Jeongguk slips between your legs quickly, curls splayed out underneath him like a halo. When he smiles up as you rest your hands against the headboard of your bed, you think, for a split second, that he just might be an angel. Then his hands are resting on your hips and he’s gently drawing you downwards, tongue already slipping out to meet you. You can’t help but tremor when his mouth returns to your cunt, tongue already settling against that bundle of nerves that has you heady. Your trembling is making Jeongguk lose his mind, spurring the urge in his gut that wants to see you unravel on his tongue. It doesn’t help that you sound like that, tiny little whimpers and gasps that makes his tongue drive deeper into your core. There’s an undeniable wet spot forming on his pants, cock twitching every time you grind into his, a mumbled whisper of his name floating from your lips. He thinks he could die happy like this, the taste of you on his tongue and the sound of his name on your lips. He’s so unbelievably hard right now. Harder than he’s ever been in his life, an aching in his stomach to just flip you over and fuck you senseless. But he wants to see you cum on his tongue first, taste you release and then fuck another one out of you. Even the thought of that has another burst of precum leaking from his dick. He’s going to die like this. And he’s not going to mind that at all.
“Am I not wet enough?” You whine, walls fluttering with the need to be filled. Jeongguk looks at you with those stupid glittering eyes of his and you try not to melt. But that doesn’t work because he plants another kiss against your cunt. When he laughs against your thigh, a gentle sound that has your stomach twisting, your chest blooms.
“No, not yet.” He wants to see you cum on his mouth first. Scratch that - needs to see you cum. The heaviness in his balls demands for it. 
There’s intent when his tongue returns to your core, movements fast and nimble tongue gathering your slick only to fuck it back into you with purpose. It consumes you, the fire that spreads from your belly with every lick of his tongue against your folds. Your stomach is already caving dangerously, the lap of Jeongguk’s tongue against you frying your brain. You can feel it already, in the tenseness of your thighs. And when he flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit, you snap, a broken moan tumbling from your lips. Jeongguk doesn’t let up, swallowing your release even when you try and shift away, the hands hold you down firmly.
When he finally lets you break away, your bones are tingling, a strange sensation in your knees when you roll off his face, thighs still tremoring. He watches you collapse onto the mattress with a satisfied smile, tongue licking your arousal off his lips like he’s still chasing after your taste. You observe that with heavy eyes, a warmth ebbing through your system and your nerves still buzzing as your high washes over you. The image is embedded in your memory though. You don’t know how you’re going to look at him again without thinking about his mouth coated in your wetness and a happy little smile gracing his rose tinged lips. 
You’re trying very hard not to think about the consequences of this at all.
Jeongguk doesn’t see the contemplative look in your eyes, hand already rising to fumble with the clasp of your bra. He undoes it rather quickly, something that has your eyebrow-raising. He notes that with a shy smile.
“I’ve had practise,” He shyly mumbles, propping himself onto his elbows. “You okay?” When he sees the way your gaze shifts.
Practise, of course he’s had practise. This is just a one-time thing. Jeongguk is desirable enough to have girls at his beck and call. With that lopsided grin and fluffy hair, you shouldn’t be surprised. This wasn’t a permanent arrangement. Jeongguk wasn’t yours. He was just a replacement. Nothing more. Yet, you can’t help the strange lurch in your heart when he says that. You shrug it off though, hating the questioning gaze he’s giving you.
“Huh? No, I’m okay,” You're pushing yourself upright a moment later, bra strap slipping down your shoulder. You don’t miss the way his gaze lingers on that little movement. But you’re aching to see him bare too, fingers itching to feel something solid underneath to distract yourself from the strange hollowness that sits heavy on your chest. “Why am I the only one getting naked?” You comment, quirking an eyebrow at him. Jeongguk complies without a complaint, shifting on his knees so that he put his hands over his head, grab the back of his shirt and swiftly yank it over his head in one fluid moment. Your breath is knocked from your chest in the next one, the display of his toned golden skin reigniting the fire in your gut that he’d briefly doused out. There’s so much skin you yearn to touch, the muscles in his arms flexing as he tugs his shirt off his body. He pants follow next, shucked off fast, leaving his cock exposed to the stifling air in your room. You were right, he was going commando. And you’re glad about it. His dick is incredibly pretty. There’s no other word for it, thick enough that you’ll feel him stretch you out when he fucks you, and length shimmering with his precum. You want to taste him, see his face twist with pleasure when you swallow around him
You move without thinking, mouth already parting to sink around him. But Jeongguk cups for chin before you can have him against your tongue, a gentle pause in your desires.
“I’ll cum if you do that,” He whines, and the twitch his dick gives when you send him a pleading look tells you he’s being honest. There’s already a heat pooling between your legs once again.
“You’re going to have to finger me then,” You comment, sneaking another glance at him. “You’re kind of big.”
He scoffs at that, guiding your back against the mattress once more. “Kind of? Baby, please don’t lie to yourself.” You freeze at the pet name, acutely aware of the way your walls clench, slick gushing out of you. He reads that wrong though, halting with concern colouring his gaze. “Can I call you that?” Jeongguk softly asks. “Is baby okay?” He won’t tell you but he really, really wants to call you baby. You hum a noise of acknowledgement before you can consider the implications of that, legs already drifting apart so he can find his place there. You feel the relief ebb off of him as he settles between your legs. “Baby,” He says it again and you flutter. Literally. A lightness in your system that you’ve never felt before. There’s a finger circling your entrance, teasing you open with gentle swirls. You try and buck down on it, but Jeongguk isn’t having that, the glint in his eyes devious.
“Not yet, baby.” And then he’s reach for your neglected bra. It’s tossed away, a flash of black that you barely register because Jeongguk is latching his mouth onto your nipples, tongue flicking until it pebbles in his mouth. When his teeth softly sink into the sensitive skin there, your body sparks, nerves a livewire for his pleasure. You feel one of his fingers sink in a moment later, a sting around your entrance that has the coil in your stomach tight. He groans against your chest, mouth dropping from your chest as he descends back between your legs. He peppers kisses against your skin throughout his downward journey before his breath is grazing on the apex of your cunt. One finger has turned into two, steadily fucking you open even as he shifts down your body. Jeongguk can’t help but watch how you suck his fingers in, walls desperately clinging onto him. You’re very warm around him, cunt tight and wet, and his cock is already leaking at the prospect of being deep inside of you. There’s no way he’s going to last - he knows it.
“Kind of want to eat you out again,” Jeongguk says. He hopes you’ll say yes, maybe it’ll help him calm himself down before he fucks you. But when you walls flutter around his fingers and his cock jumps dangerously, he realises there’s no use in that.
“No,” You groan, grinding down on his fingers. “I’ll die,” You reason. Which is true. You’ve never had someone fuck you open with their tongue like Jeongguk before. 
He muffles a laugh. “And that’s a bad thing because?” But you can’t answer. Your tongue is heavy in your mouth because Jeongguk is pressing in a third finger. The stretch is new but welcomed, the curl of his fingers inside of you maddening.
“I said because?” Jeongguk asks again, snapping his fingers into you hard. You sneak a glance down to find him watching you carefully, reading the shuddering of your chest well.
“I h-hate you,” You retort, squirming underneath the fast pump on his fingers into your cunt. When he laughs you want to die. Not because it’s mean or because you truly hate him. You don’t, you can’t. You want to die because you like the sound of it - it’s warm and soft and wraps itself around you and you want to hear it again and again. You know it’s bad now. There’s no coming back from this. And yet you can’t bring yourself to stop it.
When Jeongguk draws away his fingers, you chase after them, mortified at yourself but too far deep to care that his point. He just smiles at you, a tender thing that has you covering your face because this is too much and your heart is beating too fast and you don’t know how you’re ever going to look at him in the eyes again. But you pull your hands away hastily because you can’t bear to not look at him either. Your brain is committing everything to memory against your wishes, noting how your stomach twists when Jeongguk uses your arousal to pump himself twice, cock shimmering with your wetness.
“Uh? Do you have condoms?” He asks a beat later, hand still gripping his length. You’re too busy thinking about how much you want him on your tongue to answer until he taps your hip gingerly.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I do. In the drawer - that one.” 
He rises from the bed to get it, returning with the foil in hands which he rips open and slides along his length quickly. It settles in you then, core buzzing, that Jeongguk is going to fuck you. Jeon Jeongguk. The roommate that you hate. The roommate that broke your fucking vibrator. The roommate you’re currently not even meant to be talking to. He’s going to fuck you. And the worst thing is that you want him too.
“You okay?” He’s hovering over your body, the back of your thighs in his warm firm grip, an eyebrow quirked at your sudden silence. You nod because you’re too afraid to speak, but then you swallow your desire and force your mouth open.
“Yeah, I just -” He leans into your space, spreading you open underneath him. Your heart floats. “I just,” You try again, “Want you.” That’s fine. That doesn’t give away the weird emotion that is consuming you whole. But then Jeongguk looks at you hard, like he’s able to peel away the layers behind that to see the intent in your statement. It makes your heartbeat spike dangerously in your chest, blood filling your heart. But then his eyes flutter shut, his nose bumping into yours, a soft sigh wandering from his lips.
“Needy baby,” There’s a smile in his tone but you can’t even spend a moment analyzing it because the tip of Jeongguk’s dick is pressing against you. He sinks into you, a slow drag that you feel throughout your whole body, brain shutting down when his balls settle against the curve of your ass. He burrows his face into the hollow of your neck before you can even lean in for a kiss that you yearn for, still respecting the boundary you’d placed at the start of it. You regret giving that rule instantly, aching to have Jeongguk’s mouth on yours. But for now, you're satisfied with how full you feel, his large cock stretching you out in the best way possible. It’s a sting you revel in, walls fluttering along his length. You give him one shallow buck, a small gasp falling from your parted lips when he sinks in even deeper, cock curve right into a spot that has your nerves tingling. Jeongguk doesn’t move though, impossible still and his thighs tense against your own. You're about to ask why when he nips your neck sharply. You jolt, a small squeak emitting from your mouth.
“Don’t move,” Jeongguk murmurs into your sweat coated skin. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, but he can tell from the tightness in his balls that he fucks into right away he’s going to cum. There’s a curve in his stomach that makes him nervous, brain overwhelmed by how good you feel around him. It’s insane, the way your pussy flutters around his length, tight and wet and warm around him. He’s trying very, very hard not to blow his load right now.
It takes him a moment, before he forces down his orgasm, hips slowly drawing away to slam down back into you, a lewd squelch echoing in the room when you meet. You can’t help but choke out his name, hands drifting along his back when he finds a rhythm that has you both groaning into the air, your hips rising to meet his deep sure thrusts. 
Jeongguk fucks you like he’s trying to make a permanent home for himself between your legs, alternating between sharp snaps that leave you breathless, hitting that spot inside of you that makes you vision spin and deep grinds that press against your clit with intent. It’s a lot to take in, and your brain is overwhelmed, blissed out from the pleasure of Jeongguk pounding you into the bed. You don’t even realise how loud you’re being, until Jeongguk pulls his head from your neck, eyes locked on your lips with a want you feel deep inside of your gut. There’s a bead of sweat forming along his hairline, long curls loose from the exertion of his body rocking into yours. He looks glorious like this, cock deep inside your cunt, your bodies naturally moulding into each other. You say it before you’re too afraid too.
“Kiss me.” Jeongguk’s hips falter at that, stuttering against you hard.
“What?”
“Kiss me,” You say it again, firmer this time.
His mouth meets yours a heartbeat, tongue slipping against yours like he’s starving. You moan into it, pliant because his hips are still rocking into you. Harder this time, like he needs you to reach your high before he does. He might get what he wants. There’s a heat raging through you, the drag of his cock intoxicating. It doesn’t help that he still tastes of you, tongue mapping your open with desperation. You can’t help but cling onto him, body sparking when he nips at your bottom lip. His back is sturdy underneath your hands, fingertips tracing the curves of the toned muscles in his back as he drills you into the sheets, the steady drag of his cock making you feel delirious. Your brain is mush, every nerve in you focused on where you meet, the slight rocking of the bed underneath you a detail that sits in the backburner of your mind. You can’t even string together a sentence, mumbling his name when he finally parts from your mouth, eyes dark. It hits you then, a hard fast thing that has you squirming underneath him wilding. Jeongguk fucks you through, hips unforgiving and your legs wrapped around his torso. 
“That’s it baby, cum on my cock, there you go. Such a good girl. Oh, fuck-” He burrows his head into your neck a moment later, the falter in his rhythm evidence enough.
When you finally drop your legs from his waist, they barely exist, your chest rising hard as you try to catch your breath. Jeongguk’s pants colour your skin, a sweet little intimate thing that has your heart swelling. And then he rolls off, instinctively sneaking another kiss before he forces himself onto his knees to dispose of the condom.
When he returns, you’re cold. You reach for him immediately, tugging him back into the bed where you latch onto each other, mouths exploring once again because your brain is still fuzzy and kissing Jeongguk seems like the best idea in the world. When he makes a move to get up again, your clutch onto him like he’s your only lifeline.
“Stay,” You whisper. You can’t let Jeongguk go. You really can’t. You’ll die if he leaves this bed. He nods his head, curls bouncing like he doesn’t want to go either. You feel nice in his arms, you taste even better against his tongue.
“Okay, baby. Okay.”
outtakes:
group chat: flat lord jin and the two little piggies
flat lord jin (11:34 pm)
hey guys i left my key could u open the door for me?
flat lord jin (11:39 pm)
are any of you home?
flat lord jin (11:43 pm)
jeongguk?
y/n?
where the fuck are you guys?
flat lord jin (11:55 pm)
lmaoooo never mind
group chat: da boys 😎
idiot #1 (12:09 am)
boys i have an announcement to make
y/n and jk finally fucked
i am proud of them
NO MORE SEXUAL TENSION I AM FREE YERRRR
yoongi hyung (12:35 am)
how the fuck do you know that information?
idiot #1 (12:39 am)
they didn’t close the door
saw them cuddling cause i went to look for y/n
it was kinda gross lol 
idiot #2 (12:44 am)
pics or it didn’t happen
teeny tiny hyung  (12:54 am)
omg taehyung shut up
yoongi hyung  (01:34 am)
y’all are weird
idiot #2  (01:54 am)
yoongi...don’t make me pull screenshots from the other group chat
yoongi hyung  (01:57 am)
i dare u 2
idiot #1 (02:12 am)
WE ARE DIGRESSING!!!!
the point is that they fucked
WHICH IS GOOD FOR ME
i was suffocating in this house
omg but now i have to hear them fuck all the time
f’s in the chat fellas
yoongi hyung (02:24 am)
f
hobi hyung (02:25 am)
f
joonie hyung (02:27 am)
f
jeongguk please tell me you used protection
jaykay (10:12 am)
first of all
FUCK ALL OF YOU
seokjin u weirdo i hate you
YOU’RE ON WASHING DISH DUTY FOR THIS
also
yes of course the fuck i did do i look stupid
but like...
idk but she’s not talking to me now? idk what i did she just kinda told to to go when we woke up? what do i do?
idiot #1 (11:18 am)
ARE U JOKING
THIS IS NOT A KDRAMA PLEASE STOP BEING STUPID AND JUST DATE
PLEASE
FOR ME
DO IT FOR YOUR HYUNG
JK PLEASE
teeny tiny hyung (11:21 am)
translation: may be ask her out? are you just fwbs now or? what does she like? food? flowers? have you ever even had a conversation with her that wasn’t a screaming match? 
jaykay (11:32 am)
not really....
idk man i just... I DONT KNOW
i like her 
i think i do
do i?
namjoon hyung (11:39 am)
you need to talk to her
that’s the only advice we can really give you
just talk to her
3K notes · View notes
homeformyheart · 3 years
Note
hi, if you’re still taking angst prompts, how about 4. “Get out of here! Just leave!” for whichever of your twc pairings inspires you?
thank you ginger for this one! (and for suggesting adina.) this one definitely got away from me and turned into a full fic because of the scenario I wanted to write xD.
author’s note: thank you for the request, @gingerbreton! writing in present tense was definitely weird, but hopefully the vibe i was going for still works. i was definitely feeling the angst in this one – an AU (to my AU i guess) where my detective turns but their immortal spouse dies protecting them. grab some tissues, turn off that sad music, and enjoy! copyright: all characters, except the oc detective, are owned by mishka jenkins @seraphinitegames. series/pairing: the wayhaven chronicles – adam du mortain x f!detective (regina bishop) rating/warnings: 16+; major character death, grief, descriptions of physical pain and violence/fighting based on/prompt: OTP angst prompts // 4. “Get out of here! Just leave!” (in bold) and inspired partly by “dancing with your ghost” by sasha sloan word count: ~2.3k summary: an all-or-nothing stand-off between the agency against the rogues and trappers threatens regina’s turning process.
forever is just a word
it burns.
every fiber and tendon in her body overflows with hissing lava.
melting the pathways as it flows through her veins and igniting everything it touches.
veins attempting to fuse her mutated blood with searing venom.
a scream rips from her throat and reverberates against the walls.
at least, regina thinks it’s her pain echoing around her.
she can’t tell over the thundering in her eardrums and the sound of seams ripping inside her body.
everything is a foggy haze except for the tears streaming down her cheeks.
her mind wonders if she realizes she is being torn apart and burned alive.
except her skin is icy to the touch.
not that anyone is around to know that.
the fire continues to roil and spread, inching up and across her body until it molds around her heart.
and pierces it.
her fingers fly to her chest to dig her nails into the center, breaking skin and leaving red-stained crescent moons dotted below her collarbone.
and then the cold creeps in, following the path burned before it and pricking her body with thousands of icy needles.
stitching the seams and tears slowly and painfully back together.
before the pain finally recedes and all that is left is silence.
and regina opens her eyes.
the fluorescent lighting burns white-hot.
the slow beeping of a computer is shrieking in her ears.
she’s alive.
meanwhile, in the thick of the forest near the facility
adam stands at attention, hands clasped behind his back, surveying the situation with a scrutinizing eye.
ever the soldier.
except his eyes are shaking with fear, dark pupils almost edging out the green.
he knows this could be it.
their last stand.
his gaze sweeps to his right and then to his left, shoulders tensing as he counts, assesses, and runs through the odds and tactics in his head.
“just hand the detective over and no one has to get hurt,” a sinister voice rings loudly across the clearing from deep within the mass of humans and rogue supernaturals.
traitors. in every sense, philosophical and physical.
outnumbering every unit, tactical agent, and combat-ready member – supernatural or not – that the agency could pull together at the last minute.
“we know you’ve turned her. this is your last warning. hand her over, now.”
the air hums and prickles with electricity from hundreds of charged prods and batons, as the rogue supernaturals ease into their offensive stances.
a few find their way into the air and into the trees.
adam bristles but feels similar sensations vibrating in the air from his team and unit alpha on either side of him. at least he’s not alone.
he frowns briefly at the thought that regina may wake up alone, when (and he refuses to think otherwise) she survives.
“what’s going on? adam?”
he whirls around so fast he’s sure lesedi and nate heard the air around him crack. he runs over and wraps his arm around her waist to hold her steady, and she briefly closes her eyes to ease the dizziness and sudden sensitivity to everything around her.
“you survived,” he breathes, relief evident in his voice and every line in his face.
she smiles and tiptoes to kiss him softly before pulling back. “i promised i’d come back to you.”
adam brings her into his chest and buries his face in her neck, closing his eyes and trying to fill his heart with memories of her heartbeat, scent, and body against his.
“you must go,” he says hoarsely before pulling away. “this is going to be a fight unlike anything any of us have ever seen. you have to be safe.”
regina steps back and surveys the clearing, eyes widening at the stand-off. she knows everyone can see her. every eye, every weapon, every formation, is trained on and directed at her.
her gaze meets farah’s teary-eyed and relieved one, morgan’s piercing and confident one, and nate’s sympathetic and fearful one to her left before her body tenses at the determined and soft looks from unit alpha to her right.
“this is insane. we’re incredibly outnumbered, let me help,” she says once her voice seems to return to her. “adam, i’m not human anymore.”
he pulls back to meet her gaze and her breath catches at the soft green of his eyes. “you have only just turned. it is too dangerous and i will not risk losing you.”
“i’m not leaving you. i’m not leaving the team,” she argues, the intensity in her voice matching the defiant look in her eyes. “you know i can fight.”
he takes a few steps away and begins to pace, fists clenched. he knows that at any moment the rogues can attack now that regina is exposed. his muscles bulge with tension and she briefly wonders at how his shirt is still intact. adam can feel the fear clawing up his spine, across his chest, and catching in his throat before he whirls around to face her.
“you do not understand how dangerous this is. get out of here! just leave!”
he moves in real-time until he is just a hair’s breadth away, canines protruding and eyes flashing angrily. regina blinks, a little jolted by the fact that his speed is no longer too fast for her to see. he grabs her arms and starts pushing her back toward the facility.
“it will all be for nothing if they get to you!”
regina almost recoils at the volume of his voice and the tormented fear in his eyes. she twists out of his grasp and grabs his wrists, pushing them down and away from her body.
“i can’t lose you,” she yells back.
he breaks – she can see it – his eyes fold and brows scrunch in anguish and fear.
she reaches out to touch his cheek. he leans into the warmth of her touch, eyes fluttering half-closed before he pulls away.
“farah,” he says, pulling away from her touch. regina looks over and sees elidor following close behind.
“don’t do this adam. don’t leave me,” she pleads, voice cracking and tears welling in her eyes.
“i will always fight my way back to you, my love,” he murmurs, leaning down to briefly press his lips to hers. she leans in to deepen the kiss, but he’s already pulling away. “be safe. please.”
gentle hands on her arms hold her back and her eyes widen in fear. elidor wraps his arms tightly around her, holding her firmly against his chest and no amount of thrashing or kicking can loosen his hold.
“no, i can fight. i’m a vampire now, too. let me go! let me help,” her cries are desperate and loud and adam can hear every word echo in his ears.
“i am sorry, detective. it’s too dangerous, even for newly turned vampires. you don’t have control over your physical abilities yet and that makes you an easy target,” elidor says, half-dragging, half-carrying her back toward the facility with farah following closely.
“farah, please, don’t do this. you know that i need to be out there with you all,” regina begs as adam’s retreating back gets smaller.
“this is beyond you, babe. none of us want to lose you. please trust us,” farah murmurs, gently stroking regina’s cheek with her thumb.
the two vampires hold each other’s gaze, an entire conversation silently passing between them, before farah gives her a brief nod and runs back to join the team.
regina’s knees buckle and elidor lets her fall to the ground, arms still wrapped around her shoulders. she can’t shake the feeling in her gut that everything is about to go sideways.
with loud growls and roars from every direction, the rogues attack first in a wave of shimmery magic and blurring movements. grunts and shouts from the agents fill the air, but it’s clear the agency is not nearly as prepared. commanding agents across units are shouting conflicting orders to their teams and the trappers make quick work of separating agents from each other in a second wave.
even in the frenzied mess of bodies, her vampire sight zeroes in on adam, fighting back-to-back with farah against a dozen trappers. nate and morgan are barely holding their own against a horde of demons and their prod-wielding handlers. electricity thrums in the air, snapping erratically at both sides.
with every group that falls, three more seem to step into their place. regina pales as she realizes that the rogues outmatch them in every way. they move in quick, synchronized waves and aren’t holding back. her loved ones are vulnerable and the fight is quickly converting the peaceful clearing in which she spent many moments with unit bravo into a bloody battlefield.
but then she sees unit alpha and agent fuller move with ungodly speed and with a series of quick, coordinated attacks, lay waste to an entire wave of trappers and rogues. they move to aid unit bravo, easily slotting into formation as though the units always fight side-by-side.
but their opponents still outnumber them.
and the world slows to a painful crawl.
supernatural creatures of all sizes begin to corner each agent and cut them off from each other. regina holds her breath as she watches tamiko and maaka get carried away by a winged creature, tane and lesedi chasing and leaping quickly after them while fending off half a dozen trappers.
she’s lost sight of agent fuller. which means unit bravo is alone again.
a pack of werewolves growl and snap at the vampires and her stomach lurches as adam positions himself in front of his team, angling his body so he’s directly in front of farah. the wolves shift and draw themselves to their full height, easily towering over nate and morgan.
and then they attack. she can barely tell apart the team’s growls from the pack’s, the wolves outnumbering the vampires five-to-one. and given that sunlight is still filtering through the trees, she can tell they’re not healing fast enough to keep up with the barrage of teeth biting everywhere. she keeps scanning the mass of bodies while holding her breath, trying to keep tabs on the team – and then she freezes.
a group of wolves advance on farah as she steps backwards towards where nate and morgan are fending off their own group until the three of them are surrounded. and despite the worry clawing in her throat for their safety, her eyes are frantically searching for the person she gave up everything for.
he’s fighting his way through a stream of fallen bodies towards his team. blood and scorch marks mar his pale skin, and his steps are heavy as his boots crunch through flesh and fur and bone.
a scream rips its way out of her throat at the sight of supernaturals advancing towards him, accompanied by a half-dozen trappers with electric prods crackling in his direction.
“adam, behind you!”
and then she’s running – not even registering that she broke out of elidor’s grasp – and the world blurs around her as she speeds along.
fire rips through her body, but this time, the pain spurs her forward and her vision tunnels, centering around adam’s fallen form.
rage and fear intertwine in her chest and expand outward into her limbs and an unfamiliar, feral cry leaves her throat as she shoves her body through the blockade, grabbing anyone attempting to stop her and tossing their bodies aside. she screams at the electric prods digging into her stomach as arms wrap around her limbs, but she bites down with her canines until the blood-curdling screams filling the air are not her own.
she tears the flesh of her assailants apart and they fall back, howling in pain and running in fear, their weapons dropping to the ground. her own body is a blur as she attacks each of the remaining trappers, pulling their arms out of their sockets and shoving them back deep into the forest, the resulting sound of wood splintering already fading in her mind.
the remaining trappers panic and abandon their attack, tripping over strewn bodies as the rest of the units push the rogues back as well. nate and morgan are sitting on the ground, breathing heavily as their bodies begin to heal but farah is limping towards her.
regina doesn’t notice. the adrenaline is already receding, and she collapses to the ground, the smell of blood and sweat filling her nose and leaving a metallic taste in her mouth. she crawls over to adam’s still body, tears streaming down her face as she realizes he’s not breathing.
“no, no, no, no, no!”
she throws herself over his body and lays her ear to his chest and fingers against his wrist, breaking down into hysterical sobs when she can’t hear anything. and she knows she should be able to – she can still hear the damn chirping of birds in the distance and the anxious thrum of the team’s heartbeats.
“no, you gave me your word. please,” regina screams in-between sobs, pulling adam into her lap and cradling his head against her chest. “you said you’d come back to me.”
a pair of arms wrap around her waist and hold her as she cries, murmuring things she can’t register into her hair. she barely registers nate and morgan lifting adam’s lifeless body, forcing her to stand and walk alongside him. her grip around adam’s shoulders only tightens and she pulls away from farah’s attempt to hold her up.
she doesn’t see the three of them exchange sorrowful looks before they move slowly towards the facility. tears continue to stream down regina’s face onto the hand that is clutching adam’s shirt as though it might make him wake up and reprimand her for ruining another one.
“you promised me forever,” she whispers, the rest of her sobs strangling in her throat.
from these OTP angst prompts (always accepting)
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