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strideofpride · 1 year ago

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How do you feel about the Rufus-Dan parent-child relationship, particularly as it evolved throughout the show? I know there have been a lot of discussions about Rufus and Jenny, which makes sense given how overtly fucked that relationship became, but Rufus and Dan are equally fascinating to me in the way they start out with probably the strongest of parental bonds on the show, yet end up where they are post-Inside. At some point it feels like the show writers started writing the Dan-Rufus relationship as if they were friends or peers more than father and son, and the in-universe implications of that are really interesting I think.

Yeah! I think it's complicated by a lot of different things.

1) Rufus and Alison were clearly very young parents when they had kids, like early to mid 20s young. I personally have always headcanoned that they got married because Alison was pregnant with Dan and Rufus pretty much says at one point that he gave up his music career to be a dad. So I think the fact that the age difference between Dan & Rufus is pretty slim is definitely a contributing factor to how that dynamic operates.

2) I personally headcanon, and I think there's enough to go off in canon to support it, that Dan was closer to Alison than Rufus before she left. And I think Alison leaving put Dan into the mother role for Jenny, which makes Dan and Rufus almost seem like partners parenting Jenny rather than father & son. I think Dan taking on a more parental role towards Jenny after Alison left was entirely his choice, maybe one he didn't even consciously make, but Rufus certainly doesn't seem to do anything about it, and goes on treating Dan like a co-parent when issues with Jenny come up rather than treating him like he's her brother (how Breeland coded of them).

3) I think another big change in Dan & Rufus' dynamic occurs when Dan starts dating Serena, and Rufus starts reliving his past with Lily through Dan. Like I personally think Dan is more like Alison and Jenny takes after Rufus, but with this, Dan is now acting like Rufus (in Rufus' eyes at least).

Anyway all of that contributes to where they are in season 1. Throughout season 1, Rufus constantly gives Dan advice about Serena, but a lot of it feels less like father/son advice and more like advice from a peer. In the Thanksgiving episode, Dan makes a comment to Rufus about how finding out that he and Lily used to date has probably set Dan back months from having sex with Serena for the first time and it's so...It's just such a weird thing to say to your father. Like that feels like a comment Dan would make to Nate. So the fact that he feels comfortable being so blunt about his sex life like that with his own father is very telling of how their relationship is more like two friends.

Honestly, I feel like Rufus almost forgets he still needs to parent Dan until all the Rachel Carr stuff in s2. And the way the show handles that is uh, bad. And it paints Rufus as irrationally angry for being upset that his son is sleeping with a grown woman when he's really being the only sane one. (linking this fic now for reasons)

That might be the first moment when their relationship really starts to turn, because I think Rufus kinda has been going along like "Dan's gonna be fine, Dan's a good kid with no serious issues, the worst thing that ever happens to him is he's not popular at school, I don't need to worry about Dan" and then the Carr stuff happens and he realizes Dan is Not Fine, but at this point Dan is 18 and about to be off to college and Rufus is Too Late (he's not but you know...that's certainly how the show acts sometimes, that these kids don't need to be parented anymore once they're off at college).

And then all the Inside stuff...I think a lot of tension between Dan & Rufus, and also Jenny & Rufus, comes from the fact that Dan & Jenny grew up in a home where their parents' artistic dreams remained unfulfilled. Both Rufus and Alison gave up their dreams/careers to focus on being parents. And I think Jenny and Dan are both very conscious of that and while they love their parents, they both have big dreams and lots of ambition and don't want to see that squandered like their parents.

But while Rufus maybe isn't creatively fulfilled, I think he doesn't regret his decision of choosing being a dad over music. (I think his only real regret in life is not fighting for Lily back then) But when Dan implies in his book that all Rufus has amounted to is being Lily's house husband, I think he's rightfully insulted. He gave up his music career to be Dan's dad. He sold his art gallery to fund Dan's college tuition. He finally got to marry the love of his life, the one thing he's probably done that's entirely for him and not his kids in 20 years, and now Dan's publicly giving him shit for that? Fuck that.

And of course, Dan doesn't really see any of that. He might be ungenerous in his reading of his father, but he's not wrong either, that all Rufus is doing is being a house husband now (minus the whole brief thing with Panic, but the writers were entirely uninterested in exploring that anyway). To Dan, this is a cautionary tale. To Rufus, this is just how life goes sometimes.

Neither of them is wrong. But they're not on the same page anymore.

#the less said about dan's s6 villain era the better #and rufus & ivy dating ugh #but rufus is right to be mad at dan for being gg yet gets painted as irrationally angry once again #dan x rufus #gossip girl #dan humphrey #rufus humphrey #alison humphrey #jenny humphrey #gg meta #anonymous #strideofprideanswers

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mot-hesbian · 7 months ago

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I'm back on my Lily bs, especially with my headcanons

Ttpd is so Lily, Blair, and Jenny coded (some Serena but I feel like she's Evernights in a way I can't explain)

Here is my list from The Anthology

Fortnight- it's Dair, I have literally nothing else to say

The Tortured Poets Department- this is either post breakup derena or maybe dair

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: controversial take: this isn't 🪑. The vibes are wrong, it's Lily and William during their marriage (if you've read my fics you know what I mean by that. I have many feelings about them.)

Down Bad: Rufly??? Dair??? Serenate vibes??? 🪑???? Jagnes??? Who knows? It fits them all so well

So Long, London: it's 🪑. That's it. She tried so hard to hold on but he kept drifting away.

"You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it, my white knuckle dying grip holding onto your quiet resentment. And my friends say it isn't right to be scared, everyday of a live affair, every breath feels like rarest air, and you're not sure if he wants to be there"

"You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"

"you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the alter waiting for the proof"

But Daddy I Love Him: Rufly, pure and simple.

"I'm running with my dress unbuttoned, screaming but Daddy I love him"

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to I've more second of all this bitching and moaning"

"I'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace"

"there's a lot of people in town that I bestow upon my fastest smile, scandal does funny things to pride but brings Lovers closer"

"now I'm dancing in my dress in the sun... I'm his lady, and oh my God you should see your faces. Time, doesn't it give some perspective? And no, you can't come to the wedding."

Fresh Out The Slammer: the 🪑 and Louis to Dair pipeline. She knows who her first call will be to. And so do we.

Florida: I saw someone say this song is Ivy and Lola, and yeah, that's them if they had a decent storyline. Also, Jagnes. Jenny and Lily. Serena. Blair would never go near Florida outside of spring break.

Guilty As Sin?: I saw an edit of Rufly to this song and now all I can think of when I listen to it is them is season 1 (pre hook up) and season 2 (pre relationship). Lily and Serena's talk in season 1, the Thanksgiving episodes, the winter dance episode, the whole PI bs, everything with Allison tbh

"what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind"

"without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin?"

Who's Afraid Of Little Old Me?: It's Jenny.

"I am what I am cuz you trained me"

"you caged me then called me crazy" "I'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?"

"I was tame, I was gentle til the circus life made me mean, don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth"

"I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, crash your party like a record scratch as I shriek "who's afraid of little old me?" You should be"

"At all costs keep your good name" "Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke"

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): 🪑

"the smoke cloud billowed out his mouth like a freight train through a small town. The jokes he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud."

"Your good Lord doesn't need to lift a finger, I can fix him. No, really, I can. And only I can."

Loml: Season 1 and 2 Derena

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: Lily, Jenny, Blair, and a hint of Serena.

"All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting "more". I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks, cuz I can do it with a broken heart."

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit. They said "babe, you gotta fake it til you make" and I did."

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Lily and William. I'm obsessed with them and the psychological ramifications his existence alone has on her, your honor. Like, I hate him, I hate them, but I'm fascinated by how horrible their relationship is. Also, Eric and William to a degree. Serena never seems to reach this point.

"Was any of it true? Gazing at me starry-eyed in your Jehovah's Witness suit. Who the fuck was that guy?"

"And I don't even want you back, I just want to know, if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

"you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins. In public, showed me off"

"you didn't measure up, in any measure of a man"

"And you'll confess why you did it, and I'll say "good riddance," cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden. I would've died for your sins, instead I just died inside. And you deserve prison but you won't get time"

"You kicked out the stage lights but your still performing"

"and in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I'll forget you but I'll never forgive"

The Alchemy: Lily and Blair in gen tbh, but specifically with Rufus and Dan.

"cuz the sign on your heart says it still belongs to me"

"he jokes that it's heroin but this time with an 'e'"

"what if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map. I haven't come around in so long, but I'm coming back so strong/to where I belong"

"so when I touch down, call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team. Ditch the clowns, take the crown, cause I'm the one to beat."

Clara Bow: it's the Cece (Clara) to Lily (Stevie) to Blair (Taylor) to Jenny (the new gen) pipeline for me. I can't explain how Cece fits, but she does. (Serena being told all the fresh air bs her entire life can be applied here as well)

"This town is fake, but you're the real thing. Breath of fresh air through the smoke rings. Take the glory, give everything. Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like Clara Bow in this light, remarkable. All your life did you know? You'd be picked like a rose."

"You look like Stevie Nicks in '75, the hair and lips. The crowd goes wild at her fingertips, half moonshine, a full eclipse."

"You look like Taylor Swift in this light, we're loving it. You've got edge she never did, the future's bright. Dazzling"

"the crown is stained, but you're the real queen, flesh and blood amongst war machines. You're the new god we're worshipping. Promise to be... Dazzling"

"Beauty is a beast that roars, down on all fours demanding "more." Only when your girlish glow flickers just so do they let you know, it's hell on earth to be heavenly. Them's the breaks, they don't come gently."

The Black Dog: Lily and William

"and so I watch as you walk into some bar called The Black Dog and pierce new holes in my heart"

"And it hits me, I just don't understand, how you don't miss me. In The Black Dog, when someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up, but she's too young to know this song that was intertwined with the magic fabric of our dreaming. Old habits die screaming."

"And I may never open up the way I did for you. And those best laid plans. You said I needed a brave man and proceeded to play him until I believed it too."

"now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes. And hire a priest to exorcize my demons, even if I die screaming"

"Six weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke"

"I hope it's shitty, in The Black Dog"

imgonnagetyouback: Lily and William and 🪑, Serena during her one-sided pining for Dan era.

"even if it's handcuffed I'm leaving here with you"

The Albatross: help, it's so Lily coded I can't

"Wise men once said, "Wild winds are death to the messenger," a rose by any other name is a scandal. Cautions issued, he stood shooting the messengers. They tried warning him about her."

"wise men once said "one bad seed kills the garden" "one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen". Locked me up in towers, but I'd still visit in your dreams, and they tried to warn you about me."

"devils that you know, raise worse hell than a stranger. She's the death you chose, you're in terrible danger."

"cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you. She's the Albatross, she is here to destroy you"

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: Serenate or platonic Eric and Jenny works too

"if you want to break my cold, cold heart, just say "I loved you, the way that you were"

"I changed into goddesses, villains and fools, changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules all to outrun my desertion of you and you just watched it."

"could it be enough to just float in your orbit?can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses? Cooler in theory but not if you force it to be, it just didn't happen"

How Did It End?: Blair and Louis, more specifically Blair after the accident

"guess who we ran into at the shop, walking in circles like she was lost"

So High School: Rufly and Eleanor x Cyrus, I will not accept criticism

"I feel so high school when I look at you, cuz look at you"

"and in the blink of a crinkling eye, I'm sinking, our fingers entwined. Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights, tell me 'bout the the first time you saw me. I'll drink what you think, and I'm high from smoking your jokes all damn night, the brink of a wrinkle in time."

I Hate It Here: Lily and Jenny, they chose this life, regardless of how that choice was made, and it made them feel worthless. They both need to escape, they disappear into their different vices to help them cope.

"tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize"

"if comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck, now I know what's what. I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind, people need a key to get to, the only one is mine"

"I will go to lunar valleys in my mind, when they find a better planet only the gentil survived. I dreamt about it in the dark, the night I felt like I might die"

"I'm lonely, but I'm good. I'm bitter, but I swear I'm fine. I'm save all my romanticism for my inner life, and I'll get lost in purpose. This place made me feel worthless."

thanK you aIMee: Jenny and Blair in high school

"all that time you were throwing punches, I was building something. And I can't forgive the way you made me feel. Screamed "fuck you, Aimee" to the night sky as the blood was gushing. But I can't forget the way you made me heal."

"I built a legacy you can't undo, but when I count the scars there's a moment of truth. That there wouldn't be this, if there wasn't you."

I Look In People's Windows: it's Bart era rufly

"what if your eyes looked up and meet mine one last time"

The Prophecy: Jenny and Blair

Cassandra: I cannot explain it but this is Lily

Peter: Carter and Serena?????? Is that you???? She's Peter

"are you still a mind reader? A natural scene stealer? I've heard great things Peter"

"the goddess of timing, once found us beguiling, Peter was she lying? My ribs say she did"

"lost in the lost boys chapter of your life"

The Bolter: Oh look, new Lily song just dropped. And Serena. To quote @strideofpride it always comes back to mothers and daughters

"with a quite bewitching face. Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, excellent fun til you get to know her."

"then she runs like it's a race, behind her back her best mates laughed and they nicknamed her "the Bolter""

"she's been many places with men of many faces, first their off to the races and she's laughing drawing aces but none of it is changing that the chariot is waiting. Hearts are hers for the breaking, there's escape in escaping."

"all her fucking lives flashed before her eyes, it feels like the time she fell through the ice, then came out alive"

"and at first blush this is fate. When it's all roses, portrait poses, central park lake row boats... That's when she sees the littlest leaks and just knows, she must bolt."

"ended with the slam of a door, then he'll call her a whore, wish he wouldn't be sore but if she was leaving it felt like breathing."

Robin: Eric, this is legit Lily and Serena when literally anything involves Eric

I can't even draw up lines, it's the whole song

The Manuscript: any relationship involving Blair

"all that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I reread the manuscript, but the story isn't mine anymore."

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