#dan howell 2022 tour

[moonlight-breeze-44]

The Best Night Ever.

Tonight I went to see Dan Howell on tour in Kansas City. It was everything I had hoped for and more. I won't share the details of it, as Dan asked that we refrain from spoilers online, but I couldn't say nothing at all, so I'll say this: It was the best experience of my entire life. I've had the best night ever.

The first half was so much fun -- I laughed so hard that I cried, and next to me my mother was laughing, too, even though she didn't understand all of the jokes and references. Every part of the show as perfect. Looking back on tonight, I can't think of a single moment I don't want to remember for the rest of my life. It made me so happy, and so goddamn entertained that I feel like I'll never come down from the high of the amount of fun I had. In the second half, which was a little more serious, I found inspiration and hope like I've never been inspired before. I left the show feeling so fucking good, on top of the clouds, even. What Dan said and shared with us made me feel so fucking seen. His experiences, what he chooses to share with us -- it's incredible. He is an incredible person. I've never watched or listened to someone so much like me before. Someone who has had the same experiences, and is here now being this amazing influencer that makes us all realize how important we are. Dan Howell has made an impact on my life tonight. I will never forget this. I will never forget the hope that this show gave me.

Going into the theatre, I remember thinking that I'd never seen so many people in one place that looked like me before. We all had dyed hair, black shirts and eyeliner. It was great. The person that sat next to me was having just as much fun as I was, and I could feel the energy and the love throughout the theater. We love Dan Howell. We loved his stage show. We love everything about tonight. I've been to concerts, charity benefits, and family functions and I've gone to water parks and the Rocky Mountains and the most beautiful stretch of ocean there is. None of it compares to the time I had tonight. Dan said, multiple times in his show, that his goal here (for both himself and his audience) is to have one good night.

Dan, if you ever read this: You succeeded.

I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we had an amazing night. We had the best night. We had a night that we will never forget. This night was everything to me, and seeing you on stage speaking about the topics that you shared with us about gave me so much hope for the future. You gave me so much hope. I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story, for entertaining us and making everyone in that entire goddamn audience have so much fun. Thank you for making us smile and laugh until it physically hurt. Thank you for being open and honest with us, and thank you for making us feel like we aren't alone. Thank you for giving me not only one good night, but the best night of my life. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being you. Thank you for having the courage to exist.

If you're considering going to this show -- I don't even know if tickets are still on sale -- all I can say is, do it. I promise you it's worth it. This experience was the best of my entire life, and I don't regret a single bit of it. This was everything for me. Thank you for reading, and if you're out there struggling, thank you for choosing to continue. You're strong, you're brave, and you're fucking worth this. You are worth everything.

Thank you to Dan Howell, especially for overcoming what he has to end up here, on stage with us, and thank you to everyone else in that theatre tonight who loved the show as much as I did. Thank you.

~ Em's Final Thoughts (I loved this stage show with my entire goddamn heart)

[danandphilupdates]

dan titkok

1/11/22

[doctorsiren]

Day 22 of Sirentober / Doctober (i’m a day early, I know, but I was so excited to post this because I just drew it haha)

Constellation / Tower

The We’re All Doomed tour show in SLC last night was absolutely PHENOMENAL and so of course I had to incorporate it into an art prompt for this month!

[cowboysandpilots]

So I just met @danielhowell ??? It’s really crazy to finally meet someone you’ve been staring at through your computer screen for the last 10 years of your life and of course he was nice and friendly and funny while I was an awkward fucking weirdo so thanks for putting up with me I guess 😂 Dan, you and your content mean a lot to me. From the time I was 14 you’ve given me somewhere to belong and friends even when I didn’t have either of those things. I love you. Thanks for all that you do and please never stop being you. ❤️

[friendlyneighborhood-therapist]

I'm so proud of the man that Dan had become, even though in my head I'll always see him as the 18/19 year old I started following religiously after seeing his sporadic vids for a year. So many things i could say to this man and I would love to, but the only thing that matters is that he has come so far, I'm so proud of him and I love him. And he's a fucking icon who reserves the right to let Harry Styles get that bussy. Thank you @danielhowell for a wonderful night and thank you for getting up everyday and doing what you do 🖤🧡 Somewhere, somehow we all came a long way from cat whiskers, lions and llamas to curly hair, coming outs and acceptance

[8verity8]

Waiting for the show to start while my eyeballs get randomly accosted by strobe lights...

The pre-show music playlist played Stray Kids Maniac and I damn near lost my shit.

My child is laughing and mocking me now...

[notsosaucystuff]

Some important phannie vocabulary and phrases (in alphabetical order):

Words:

Babuse

Bub/Bubby

Bob

Capital£ester

Crafties

Craft/Crafting

Dab

Dad

Dalien

Danosaur

Delia Smith

Doot

Eliza

Emo

Erica

Evan

Fetus

Glabella

Gloryhole

Glue

Gnu

Hiatus

Lad/Lads

Ladydoor

Lesbian

Lexicon

Lion

Literally

Llama

Maltesers

Melapples

Microwave

Muse

Nuki

Onomatopoeia

Pancakes

Phan

Phandom

Phass

Phivorce

Phol

Phouse

Placenta

Protip

Ranch

Ribena

Sim/Sims

Slit

Soulmates

Susan

Tabitha

Tit

Tour

Twink

Twunk

Uma Thurman

Whisk

Whiskers

Yap/Yapping

Yee

Phrases:

All or nothing

Art is important

Breaking the sound barrier

Companions through life

Dip and Pip

Don't cry, craft

Do you know what a genre is?

Editing tips

"Embrace the void and have the courage to exist"

Forever home/Phorever home

Girl in Prague

Glory hole

Heart eyes Howell

Hello, my name is [Dan]

Help me Dad

Hey buddy, you in London?

Hobbit hair

It hits different

Love eyes Lester

Lying makes you go to hell

Mirror Butt

Passenger Princess

Phil trash #1

Ranch metaphor

Reasons why Dan's a fail (yay)

Red Hot Phil

Right in the Florida

"Open wide for Captain Lester!"

Soft and neat

Something something night changes

Square hair

The builders

"This guy"

"This is the most fun I've ever had"

Tops only bar

Try new things

Twink Death

Twunk Birth

We're here, we're queer, and we're filled with existential fear

"What can I say?"

Inserts:

Get the [Insert noun] out for the lads

"Here's the thing about [Insert noun]"

I'm at the cluuuuub, I need [Insert noun], but in a sexy way

Ph-[Insert almost anything]

The [Insert noun] fic

You will get through this [Insert noun]

[Insert literally anything]-ussy

We saw you from across the [insert noun] and liked your vibe

Other:

2009

2012

2019

2022

2023

🧡 (orange heart emoji)

Please leave additional words and/or phrases in the notes or tags and I will have them to the list! <3

Last updated: July 18, 2024

[stillarchivingdnp]

Youtuber Tour Data

i spent a month researching over 100 youtuber tours to see if dan and phil out-did everyone else (spoiler: they did all three times)

here are the top 5 tours based on attendance:

Interactive Introverts - Dan & Phil (2018) - 239,704

The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire - Dan & Phil (2015- 2016) - 208,800

We're All Doomed - Daniel Howell (2022- 2024) - 169,760

DanTDM On Tour (2017) - 137,350

Kurtis Conner Live! (2022- 2023) - 131,170

See my full spreadsheet HERE

FUN FACTS! Venues a part of all three of Dan & Phil's tours !!

Santander Performing Arts Center - Reading, PA

Brighton Dome - Brighton, England

Orpheum Theatre - Minneapolis, MN

Symphony Hall - Birmingham, England

Au-Rene Theater - Ft Lauderdale, FL

Waterfront Hall - Belfast, Ireland

[natigail]

"I think, as you may have clocked in the show, from a period of time when I was feeling a certain way. It was towards the end of 2021, early 2022, where I was a bit, like, I need to do something. I have been on this hiatus, there has been a literal pandemic, the vibes are not amazing, and so I very much was like, I want to... Look. With Basically I'm Gay, I wrote myself out of the closet. Right? I used the hell that my career has trapped me in as an obligatory way to force my hand to rip the plaster off and confront my sexuality. Which was a good thing! Without all of you, without the internet, who knows? I might be in the closet, being a sad lawyer right now. Legitimately. And it was kind of the same thing here. I was, like, I want to just start creating a piece of entertainment and then maybe I'll entertain myself out of a hole. And if I go on a tour, then I'll get to touch grass. I'll get to smell the fresh air of Chicago, Illinois and wherever the fuck. I guess Helsinki had fresh air. Shout out to Europe. Ehm, and yeah. It was literally like a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? It was like writing the show and doing the show was the thing that I needed and here we are!" - Dan Howell, post-live premiere of we’re all doomed, 25th of February 2024

BIG and WAD are both such incredible things and I am emotional about the fact that he can sort out something so complex and private through sharing it with his audience.

Quotes from Dan (150/?)

[ashleyeveerson]

✨ THE DAN AND PHIL LORE pt. 3✨

CHECK OUT PART 2: https://www.tumblr.com/ashleyeveerson/760707933651746816?source=share

Phil ALSO comes out! (yeah no i'm not crying what? not them feeling comfortable enough to be themselves yeah). 2019 also brings us the adoption of a fish named Norman (a cutie) AND they also post pictures about their recent trip to Japan [the photo of Phil looking up to Dan behind the camera? yeah i am so normal about it, i swear]. There is hope in the horizon still for a Dan and Phil comeback...

BAM! A certain virus runs wild and forces everyone to stay at home. Phil continues to upload solo videos which distracted so many of us during these dark times. Dan, however is AWOL and the only pic we have of him is a shitty screenshot of him in glasses and a mask helping Phil rescue an injured pigeon (lockdown was WILD).

Also, my boy Dan post a cryptic tweet that leads to the announcement of a self-help book named YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS NIGHT (because you will <3). Nah but I can't count how many times I've sobbed reading it, just him trying to help out others who have also struggled with mental health... istg i love this man

Hey so THEY BUY THEIR FOREVER PHOUSE TOGETHER they're gonna kill me one day istg. "Dan and Phil just decided to pay a mortgage together", top 10 sentences that would kill a 2016 phan. They are slaying, they are glowing... also rip Norman the fish you will not be forgotten

So during 2014 the fates (aka a random youtuber) foretold that Dan and Phil would be married in 2022. Since that clearly didn't happen the meme PHIVORCE united the phandom once more. ALSO Dan is out there shitting on youtube (as he should) and going on his solo tour WE'RE ALL DOOMED! Which i love with all my heart and also Phil being there for him every step of the way... AHHHHHHHH

Anyways a certain video called Dan and Phil finally tell the truth hits the internet and let's just say GOD DAMN. This also starts a wonderful trend amongst Dan and Phil in which they make fun of their audience (we deserve it ngl) and absolutley SHOCK US with new information about bonkers shit from their past [apparently they were offered a threesome MULTIPLE TIMES???]

It's the end. They've decided to give up their channel "Dan and Phil Games" forever... let's take a moment and silent and mourn with a compilation of Heart eyes Howell

...

SIKE! We're back baby and we're better than ever!!! The goodbye video turned out the be an ANNOUNCEMENT of their comeback. They are back, Dil Howlter is here and Phil confesses to having dyed everything green in the house when Dan went on tour bc he missed him (OH GOD). Also, the Halloween baking video introduced us to the icon that is.... *drumroll please*

SISTER DANIEL, the queen of making everyone reconsider their sexuality... she is the moment, she is an icon and she is serving astronomical levels of cunt at all time [jokes aside, Dan being comfortable enough to do drag in public, fuck they've come so far i'm so proud of them <3].

And here we are in the future, it's present day and they are queerer and happier than ever. THE PICTURES I CAN'T ISTG. Also Dan's Birthday stream is beyond iconic. First of all my unproblematic kings make it a charity stream to donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund (using their public influence for good hell yeah)... And how did they raise the money you ask? WELL BY HITTING IS WHERE WE'RE WEAKEST. Sister Daniel makes a spectacular comeback, FATHER PHIL is introduced and Dan even dyes his hair red to be more Good Omens coded... which timeline are we living in again? like how is any of this real?

Also them drawing the PINOF whiskers on their faces again... they're literally growing old together I'm gonna go sob in a corner. Also the fake apology video bc they have no fashion sense in the Sims 4 is hilarious as fuck. HOW CAN THEY POSSIBLY BE SO MUCH HOTTER ON THEIR THIRTIES EXPLAIN??

anyways the phandom is still speculating wether they're erasing "i love you's" at the end of their text when they show them on videos... guess some things never change. Nah but the vibes are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NOW, they are more open than they've ever been and participate on the phan culture FULLY to the point that they're the ones terrorizing us now.

QUICK DETOUR TO TALK ABOUT PHIL'S FAMOUS BAD LUCK (and then they wonder why he's always dying in the fanfics). Nah but my poor man has had his fair share of medical problems, the most recent being...

OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU ANNOUNCE SOMETHING LIKE THAT THIS WAY?? nah like using humor as a coping mechanism and all but do they wanna gives a heart attack?! iconic i fear however

So yeah the video where they talk about it is WILD (funniest shit about the whole ordeal is that a nurse mistook Dan as Phil's son). Also I saw a tweet speculating about Phil having a hickey like... first of all what is it? 2009? Second of all IT'S MOST LIKELY A POPPED VESSEL FROM LOSING ALL THAT BLOOD YOU KNOW

They still were able to go on their vacation (aka the rodent boy summer) which gifted us with this iconic pics... ALSO they dropped a new Dan and Phil beats for summer go check out the names of the tracks istg they wanna kill their fans.

Nothing is sacred anymore, they've infiltrated twtphan, they're actively reposting memes and writing fanfiction about themselves. It's the wild west, everytime you get a notification is like playing Russian Rulet. Cringe is dead and Dan and Phil ARE COMING NEAR YOUR CITY on a tour named "Terrible Influence" where Phil's spent 300€ on silicone. It's a wonderful time to be a phan.

OKAY SO here's some stuff that didn't make the cut but that i find too hilarious to not mention. In no apparent order: DAN DRESSING UP AS A CATBOY, Dan and Phil playing technicians 1 and 2 on Big Hero 6 and two brothers on the Lion King (wtf was that also they gave the gorilas matching fringes), Dan dressing up as a golden pig (my boy has RANGE) and finally Dan being too embarassed to admit he stalked Phil and telling a reporter he was only asking for "editing tips" if you know what i mean

Also a short compilation of Dan and Phil losing the idgaf war against eachother THEY ARE SO THOUGHTFUL ABOUT EVERYTHING. Special mention to Daniel's 🧡 when Phil praised "We're all doomed!" and Dan's ranch metaphor to describe their relationship (just go watch the mukkbang video OH LORD)

SO, in conclusion... Dan and Phil's refusal to belittle their past and instead embrace it as part of their story while actively moving into the future alongside the phandom YEAH THAT SHIT MEANS SOMETHING. They're simultaneously healing our inner child while embracing us as the adults we've become i have many feelings about them

So what are they?

They're just Dan and Phil.

[obv10usly]

Have you seen that clip of great British actors on the same stage reciting “to be or not to be, that is the question,” while emphasising different words and giving completely different meaning to the line?

That’s what I feel about dan’s “Trying to Live My Truth.” Let me explain…

When the video was out, the response was overwhelmingly positive. Of course it was. We missed dan. It was his first video in 3 months. We were so proud though clearly we didn’t know what that truth was. He alluded to things, quite explicitly at times, but never really spelled it out.

At the time I thought,

“okay. It doesn’t matter. It takes guts already to admit to yourself this much. And he doesn’t owe his truth to anyone, least of all us. He’s TRYING at least, and he’s openly admitting it in a really good and inspiring video too. It’s great he’s on the right path.”

Then June 2019 came and we finally knew the TRUTH he was alluding to in the video. TTLMT is now full of comments made in 2019 saying how it hit different. It did and we’re beyond proud. But I couldn’t help wondering often what was on his mind at that point in time.

Then! In 2022 we finally got an answer for that. Dan wasn’t doing well at all in 2018. II tour almost didn’t happen as he didn’t think he could’ve gone through with it without coming out first.

He felt he wasn’t living HIS truth. He would spend the whole year pondering this.

Thinking about this today while watching old DanAndPhilGames videos (as you do) it suddenly hit me like a brick in the face that TTLMT was published 2 days after “Can Dan and Phil Survive Fortnite?!” You know, the one where these happened:

"We can make a life together up there."

"I will find you in any world phil"

Maybe the emphasis was on the word in TTLMT that I didn’t think was significant in that way after all.

Dan was trying to LIVE his truth. He wasn’t trying to announce it. He was actively, decidedly /living/ it in front of us.

Many called 2018 their “glass closet” era and that’s just it. I just feel blessed to have been there to witness everything I just talked about here as it happened.

And yeah, that’s how I ended up comparing dan howell to shakespeare on twitter. (Yeah I posted this to twitter first lol) Didn’t see that coming, did ya?

[danandphilupdates]

forgive me father for i have sinned

dan insta post

2/11/22

[lesbianphan]

im sorry about your shift :( if its not too much, would you care to share what fic(s) you're reading? ive been meaning to jump back into phanfic but its been so long, idk where to look

Sup anon! Sorry for taking a bit to reply to this, BUT in my defense I peruse the @phanfictioncatalogue like it's the newspaper whenever I have free time, so I read so much fic (kinda stopped reading books whoops bad). Anyway, here are some fics I read recently and really recommend!

Easy for you to say by phantasticworks - Phil tries to convince Dan to throw away the grey shirt. Dan can’t do it.

And the days after that by cityofphanchester - He can hear Dan’s voice coming down the hall, laughing with someone from the crew, and it makes his breath stop in his chest. (doomed tour usa, autumn 2022)

Your love is my drug by @antiadvil - Phil wakes up with a migraine.

Kissing gif by @calvinahobbes - Meeting Dan is the luckiest he’s ever been. Having him here, on his bed, is a dream come true whether it looks like a sexy Internet gif or not. (A pinof tag about expectations and reality.)

I know you, hands under my sweatshirt by midorijpg - something something about having bad days and growing up and realizing you don't (completely) fit in couches anymore.

Collision by TortiTabby - A day full of arguing and disagreements on tour gets turned on it's head when an incident puts things in perspective.

Some more recs that come with TWs please be careful:

(TW) Filling the void by Merrydith - For Dan Howell, it was almost too easy. Once in a while became every week, which became every few days. And now, this was the fourth person he’d brought home that week and it was only Friday. What happens when Phil suggests Dan takes it easy?

(TW) In eternity I choose you by lovestillaround - Dan starts having unusual dreams, and they all seem to have a common denominator (my god pls more people read this one, it made me INSANE I wish it was a full book it's so interesting)

(TW) Sacrifice painted in red from our hearts) by lesbianphan (yep reccing myself) - a.k.a the dark and raw 'DanandPhilCRAFTS - Slime' fic I was always meant to write.

[dnpbeats]

hi this might be a really weird ask but i was just looking through dnps company’s on the gov.uk website bcs they’re all archived there and dan has 6 and phil has 4, they share a dissolved company for tatinof and are both also listed as directors for irl ltd and dan and phil productions ltd. they both also own companies, ones just called daniel howell Ltd for dans yt, and the other is amazingphil ltd for Phil’s YouTube. Dan then has 2 more, one for something called ‘embrace the void Ltd’ (either im being completely stupid but i can’t actually think of what this could be?? Help) and then one for wad touring. there’s no separate company for ii so i think they listed it with the tatinof company when doing taxes and stuff, however the tatinof company was liquidated in august last year 😭 do u think this proves that there’s not gonna be a tour or do u think they’ll just make another company for it?

hi!! so funny story… I’ve looked at those too! So no not a weird ask dw 💀 yes i’m assuming they just used the tatinof company for ii. i don’t think it being dissolved disproves a tour bc they filed for dissolution during covid lol (and more importantly before their comeback). dan’s WAD touring company was created may 16th 2022 which was ten days after he announced WAD, so if they are touring again and making another company they probs just haven’t done it yet (also, idk if they could just use the WAD one and add phil as an officer if they need to, idk how that all works 😭)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Dan’s Tour/We’re All Doomed! (2) Masterlist

part one

A Birthday Reunion (Welcome Home Dan) (ao3) - beepsnbops

Summary: Dan’s been on tour for a bit, but he would never let exhaustion and a busy schedule keep him from seeing Phil on such an important day of the year.

another day (ao3) - wearealldoomed

Summary: “It’s another day in the forever house. It’s been a day since uploading ‘We’re All Doomed’ to the channel that started it all. Dan Howell gets to live another day.”

Codependent? Maybe Just A Little (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Dan leaves to go on tour and Phil’s a little bit of a mess.

Continents Apartment (ao3) - floweretfairies

Summary: Dan’s stroking his cock, reaching for his phone. He needed his man, but they were continents apart.

dangender (ao3) - classichysteria

Summary: it’s late at night and dan just wants to talk about what’s on his their mind

falling into lava (for a second, forever) (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan did a thing and Phil's so proud of him.

Flying home to you (ao3) - harrysbabyboo

Summary: I just found out Dan flew back from the Australian leg of his ‘we’re all doomed’ tour for Phil’s birthday and I am DEVASTATED.

Home Is Wherever I’m With You (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: “You being here is the best birthday present I could ever ask for,” Phil murmurs.

Or, Dan flies home from his tour to come celebrate Phil’s birthday.

I missed you so much I dyed the towels green (ao3) - chuuyaswife

Summary: A few of Dan’s shows get cancelled while he’s on the WAD tour so he decides to surprise his boyfriend back home for a few days. Fluffy reunion ensues.

It's only you. (ao3) - KirstieVic

Summary: Dan is away on tour for WAD and he and Phil have an agreement.

loud heart (ao3) - phiclets

Summary: "Phil has quoted Dan's original announcement tweet, so the endorsement sits on top of Dan's name, glowing with pride. A few things happen at once in Dan then. First, there's the impulse to snort at the nickname danny, which is Phil being silly (and succeeding at it, as he always does). Then there's the warmth that suffuses his entire chest from Phil Lester openly expressing his emotions for Dan's sake on a public platform, an occurrence so rare it still shocks (and essentially assaults) Dan whenever it happens. Then, from that warmth, comes the immediate, overwhelming, not so inexplicable urge to sob his lungs out."

The orange heart reply was a cultural moment; this is my vision of what might have led up to Dan posting it.

one & only (ao3) - daliddl

Summary: Dan just finished his very last We‘re All Doomed show in London and a certain unexpected guest is waiting for him in the dressing room.

[orange heart emoji] (ao3) - natigail

Summary: WE'RE ALL DOOMED finds its home on YouTube and Dan breaks the whole phandom with one single emoji. It's okay. If Phil can be earnest, then so can Dan.

so you don't have to be brave (ao3) - Jamez

Summary: Dan is having trouble sleeping on tour. Phil helps.

The Habit of Confidence (ao3) - howell_slide

Summary: The first time he saw Sister Daniel, Phil had to say a little prayer.

Or, how Phil really feels about Sister Daniel.

“This is a lot, even for you.” (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil should’ve known Dan was going to pull a worried move like calling PJ. Phil had shown Dan the result of his latest dying adventure. A ficlet about surviving and thriving.

This Love (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: Dan cannot wait until he's reunited with Phil in LA after two months apart, but the reunion doesn't go as he planned.

well, you gotta do something (ao3) - lagoonlarry

Summary: how i envisioned dan's WAD tour conception, and those conversations with phil

WE'RE ALL DOOMED! (ao3) - idkspookystuff

Summary: it's 2022, the sun is about to explode, and dan and phil go to the woods to reflect on the end

we’re (not) all doomed (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: It's Dan's last-ever performance of We're All Doomed! and he's feeling emotional.

[sinninghowlter]

His World

Rating: T+ Ship: phan Contains: Daniel Howell: We're All Doomed! Tour 2022, Romance, coming home, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, slight language Words: 1440 Summary: Dan opens the door and before him stands his world. He's finally home.

Read it below or on AO3

This work is the first fic that I have written for the phandom since 2016, hopefully, you love it!

This work is unbeta'd all mistakes are my own

The cab pulls to a stop outside their house, and it's just like he left it. Some sick part of Dan expected to wake up somewhere between the airport and home and realize this entire thing was a fever dream. He waited for the moment Phil shook his arm and told him breakfast was on the table at two in the afternoon and that they had a production meeting to get to for Radio One. He expected the entirety of touring the USA with his team of friends and the slutty nun costume in his suitcase to just cease to exist. That the memories of hugging thousands and thousands of fans and ripping his jumpsuit on stage in front of a packed theater wouldn't be real. Something of a sick joke only his brain could conjure up.

The last three years have been everything to him, something chaotic and beautiful for which they had worked their asses off. From building his and Phil's forever home, to writing and premiering this tour, to writing a book and creating a full-length coming-out video, his entire life was falling together. 

He smiles to himself, a personal secret only he knows as he opens the cab door and collects his luggage. He's gotten surprisingly good at packing lightly, but the number of treasures he'd picked up around the country had begun to pile. He went from a couple of backpacks and a suitcase to an entirely separate piece of luggage that TSA was sure to think was drugs.

He wonders if Phil's home, but quickly corrects the thought, feeling his phone buzz in his jacket pocket with a text from Phil asking where he is. He hadn't told Phil when he'd be coming home, only what day the plane was set to arrive. 

And now here he was. Home at last. He touches his hand to the doorknob, chipped black nail polish glinting in the porch light. The sun was due to go down soon, fucking winter. He racks his brain to decide what time it is, his body still 7 hours behind London time. He pushes open the door, hearing the beeping of the security system, alerting their phones that the door has opened. He's greeted by the black entryway and the smell of candles. All at once, the safety washes over him. He stumbles in, setting his laptop bag and luggage down, fussing over the tangle of straps and zippers. What was he thinking designing a jacket with a belt and so many zippers? Of course, they'd get hung! He pulls his AirPods out of his ears, drops them into the case, slipping them back into the pocket alongside his phone, not bothering to pause Perfume Genius. 

When he finally looks up, there, before him, is home. Phil's standing in a sweater Dan's never seen before and he's got a smile on his face that surely matches the one on his own. Dan's shoulders drop as Phil steps off the last step, his mind so flooded with emotions that he doesn't even comment on the chaotic stepping habits of the older.

He's home. Phil had opened his arms to catch Dan before he even realized he was falling, arms wrapping around the older's shoulders. The hug shoots them both back to 2009, one where months and years of quiet longing, the sobbing and screaming of their hearts almost becoming painful. The visceral need to be with their other half, the want and need to be whole again. 

He's whole again. 

"Welcome home, Bear," Phil whispers from his place nuzzled into the crook of Dan's neck. The tears in Dan's eyes fall then, brown eyes turning a bit glassy with the emotions and the love he has for the other. Phil chuckles, pressing a kiss to Dan's temple. "Are you crying?"

Dan nods, hiding his face against the green jumper, Phil invading his senses. The touch of the older, how he doesn't pull away, as though he's scared as well that this is a dream. The way Phil has somehow gotten more handsome since he left, how the memories and the facetime photos weren't doing him justice. The way his voice rumbles from his chest when he laughs softly at the tears on Dan's cheeks. His smell of warmth and the candles he'd lit in attempts to make the house homier. 

"Didn't miss me, did you?" Dan jokes, smiling through his tears, pulling back just far enough to meet the older's greeny-yellow-blue eyes. 

"Nope. Not at all."Phil smiles, and that's when Dan sees the tears in his eyes. "I got the entire bed to myself and cuddled your Haru pillow. It was great."

"Mhm... Whelp, now you got your bed-hog back. Speaking of hogs, you didn't buy any more golden animals, did you?"

"No, I didn't, actually, not at all." Phil laughs, hugging Dan again, "I'm glad you're home safe." He finally draws back and grabs the folded front of Dan's leather jacket, pulling him in for a kiss. "I didn't realize how quiet this house gets when you're not here."

"Gee, thanks. Sayin' I'm loud, are you?" Dan smirks, not needing a reply as he closes the gap between them again. Phil shakes his head, laughing softly. "Mind giving me a hand getting these upstairs?"

"Sure, which ones should I grab? I can get the suitcase?" Phil reaches over after Dan nods, and picks the suitcase up, slinging a backpack over his shoulder. "You could have told me you were here! I would have helped you out of the cab! I didn't know you had so much! I thought you only left with a suitcase and a backpack?"

"I did, but our fans are very generous people, babe. There are so many letters, artworks and gifts that I still need to go through. I read a few letters on the bus when I had a moment alone but not all of them. I love hearing their stories." They drop the luggage onto the bed, and before Phil can wrap his arms around him again, Dan mumbles something about wanting comfy clothes. 

The older nods, watching as he opens the double doors to his closet, the sea of blacks and grays stare back as he picks out his comfiest pajamas. "Why are you staring at me, Phil?" Dan murmurs, not needing to look back at his partner. 

"I just can't believe you're home again, finally," Phil whispers, barely loud enough for him to hear, knowing nothing matters but right now. "I really have missed you, Bear."

"I know you have, you spork, you told me all the time when I called you." Dan walks back to the bed, dropping his Game of Thrones Pj pants and NASA cats t-shirt on the duvet. Phil sits at the side, watching quietly. His eyes follow Dan's hands as they remove his airport clothing, and as they pull the new clothes onto his body. He's changed slightly since he left. He's fitter than he used to be, and there's a glow about him that Phil only knows to be true happiness. Phil's eyes sparkle slightly from behind his black frames, as he waits for the next step on Dan's internal to-do list. "You know you don't have to follow me, right?" Dan jests, catching his reflection in the moon mirror, and ruffling his curls. "I won't disappear." The last part of his sentence comes out like a whisper as he approaches the older, hands cupping Phil's cheeks. "I'm really home. I promise I'm not going anywhere for a while." Phil nods, feeling the familiar burn in his throat that comes from crying, and he knows his face deceives him. "How many times are you going to cry?" Dan jokes, feeling another tear slip from his eye. Phil shrugs, sweater brushing the backs of his hands and Dan can't help but lean in again for another slow kiss. 

"Fuck I have missed this," Phil whispers between kisses, breaths coming out clipped and quick.

"You have, have you?" Dan smirks against his mouth, hands tangling in the hair on the back of Phil's neck. It's gotten longer since he'd left. 

"You have no idea." Phil's hands come to rest on Dan's hips pulling him in again, "You and your old lady pajamas," he laughs, tongue poking between his teeth, head falling back slightly. 

"You're actually an asshole, y’know that right?"

"I know, but I'm your asshole." 

Dan was home, finally. And he feels their little world begin to heal. The universe takes a breath, and he feels the safety wash over him. Finally, he's back where he belongs.