#dan aykroyd imagines

[faithiegirl01]

Y’all know what I wanna read? I wanna read a Ray Stantz hanahaki disease fic…

Like could you imagine it. No one thought it was a real thing, but reader (or maybe Ray could work either way…) come down with it. In fear of what the weird disease is they go to Egon for a little help in understanding it, but when he tells them it’s an unrequited love disease they panic.

Egon then continues to tell them that they can talk to the person and maybe just maybe it’s not one sided… but reader shakes their head not really believing that could be a possibility. Egon asks if he can know who it is to hopefully help more, but the person refuses to answer not wanting anyone to find out about and asks if there’s any other options. Of course Egon tells them the only other option is the surgery that would make them forget the person all together. The reader (or Ray…) immediately deflates and doesn’t know how what decision to make so slowly they start to distance themselves.

They weirdly start to feel better for a bit and so they do Egon about it, but he just shrugs and tells them it can be very unpredictable each person could go through it completely different. Then all of a sudden they again start feeling bad and it slowly gets worse so reader stays distanced. Bonus points if the reader is Peter’s little sister and so that could make her like another best friend to Ray. Like they could literally all be so close. Like could you just imagine the angst of it all?

My goodness it’d be so heartbreaking yet so beautiful to read especially if they end up together in the end. Like the angst and fluff vibes that could be added to it all.

I myself would write it, but like I have way to many WIPs in progress and can’t, but it’d definitely be a good read. Especially because technically in the Gohstbuster world that wouldn’t really be a real disease, but like it totally could just be like just something they just didn’t know was a thing.

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,062

Gif NOT mine.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 5 minutes

I've been playing a bunch of the Ghostbusters game, and it honestly drives me crazy how messy it is at the firehouse. So this imagine way born from that pet peeve of mine. Enjoy. :)

Walking up to the second floor of the firehouse, (Y/n) sat down her bag, looking around the large room she sighed softly. The place was a mess, as always. She understood perfectly well why the place wasn't always clean, they guys were busy, always busy. Especially after Peck shut down the containment unit, and released all the ghosts they had captured over the past few months. Walking into the kitchen and dining area, she began picking up loose trash and tossing it into the nearby trashcan. The trash was nearly half full to begin with, and after a few minutes of working, it was totally full. She pulled the bag out of the bin, tied it up, and sat it aside.

As she was putting a new bag into the bin, the boys came wandering up the stairs. Funny she hadn't even heard them pull in downstairs. They all greeted her tiredly as they passed by, going straight to their quarters. (Y/n) continued to clean up the littered trash, and the expired food from the fridge. A short while later, Ray come back into the common room. His hair still dripping from his shower. The others having showered and gone straight to bed. "You know you don't have to do all of this (Y/n)." Ray said as he assisted in gathering up the dirty dishes. "Well I am an assistant, and I assist where I'm needed." She smiled softly at her favorite ghostbuster.

"Yeah I guess, but this is our mess." He shrugged, smiling bashfully. "I'm happy to help Ray, besides you guys have your hands full as it is. Speaking of which, go to bed, I've got this covered." She insisted as she took the dishes from his hands, placing them beside the sink, and then preparing the water. "No I'm alright, let me help." He argued, standing beside her stacking the dishes accordingly. "Ray you've been working all day, and you're exhausted. Go get some rest." She smiled at him, playfully bumping her shoulder into his. "I'm not going anywhere." He stated in a playfully serious tone. "You're stubborn, you know that?" She smiled at him, but stopped arguing over the matter any further.

"People usually say that about Peter." Ray joked, effectively making (Y/n) snort with laughter. "Yeah and he definitely is, but apparently so are you." She mused, making him smile. "I wash and rinse, you dry and put them away?" (Y/n) offered as she set to work on scrubbing the dishes. "I think I can manage that." Ray hummed as he retrieved a clean dishtowel. "Well I sure hope so, we've got plenty to do here." She teased as she began rinsing the first sink of dishes. Once the dishes were finished, they picked up the last bits of trash, swept the floor, and then began hauling the trash bags out to the dumpster out back. "I'll get some groceries tomorrow morning." (Y/n) stated as they hauled out the last two bags.

"I'll go with you." Ray added as he tossed his bag in the dumpster, he then took (Y/n)'s and threw it out as well. "You don't have to do that, I can manage alright." She blushed lightly as Ray held open the door open for her. "I know... But I want to." Ray smiled bashfully, following her back upstairs. "Well in that case, I'd love the company." She mused as they stood at the top of the stairs. "Now you should go to bed, you need some sleep." She stated as she grabbed her bag. "I'd rather spend some more time with you." Ray admitted, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "And do what Dr. Stantz?" (Y/n) asked as she peered at him, their chests nearly touching from how close she'd moved towards him.

"M-maybe get some dinner? I-I haven't actually eaten since lunch." Ray stammered a little, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Home cooked, or takeout?" She asked. "Considering how late it is, how about takeout?" He asked, trying to sound relaxed, but looking anything but. "Sounds like a date, come on you can stay with me tonight, wouldn't want to disturb the guys." She smiled as his blush depend. "A d-date?" Ray stammered again, following her back downstairs. "If you want it to be." (Y/n) turned to him on the landing of the stairs. "I-I." He cleared his throat. "Do you want it to be?" He asked, again trying to act casual. "I'd love nothing more." She admitted, blushing a bit herself.

"Really!?" Ray beamed in visible excitement, again clearing his throat and trying to play it cool. "I mean... Then it's a date." He smiled charmingly, making (Y/n) giggle softly. "Good." She mused, leaning towards his face to kiss his cheek. Ray blushed deeper, following after her like a lovesick puppy. "Do you think..." Ray trailed off as they walked to (Y/n)'s car. "What is it Ray?" She asked curiously. "Would you maybe want to go on an actual date sometime? Like to a restaurant." He asked. "How about a picnic in the park? Restaurants are always so busy, and a picnic is more intimate." (Y/n) countered. "A picnic... Yeah that sounds really nice." Ray smiled at the thought. "Saturday maybe?" She offered, making Ray beam at her again. "It's a date." He hummed happily.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

[remerg]

What if u could just lift up Jake as if he were some kind of cat- (prob only Elwood can actually do that)

Merely based of an image of Dany kinda lifting John up (said image under the cut)

This one is so funny to me bc

Look at their faces oh my god these fucking idiots/pos

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: swearing, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), dom/sub relationship

My hand roamed through rays hair as he pressed his face into my neck from behind. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist. Dana and the rest of the orchestra were under the gazebo, playing as Winston danced with his spouse. We gently swayed as the music played, a small smile grew on my face as I felt ray kiss my neck.

“enjoying yourself?” I whispered. Ray nodded. “Words Raymond.” He chuckled and kissed my neck again.

“Yeah. This is nice.” He whispered back. “Reminds me of our wedding day.” A bigger smile tugged at my lips as I remembered the moment he was talking about.

“yeah. It does.” I agreed. Ray lifted his head to kiss me. “Makes me think about our wedding night.” Ray blushed, squeezing my waist slightly.

“a repeat of that night wouldn’t be terrible.” He said softly, eyes roaming over my face. I smiled at him and nodded.

“it wouldn’t.” I agreed. The music ended and the dj took over. “Do you think Winston would be pissed if we left early?” I turned in rays arms and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I think he’d be more pissed if we snuck out. Or worse ended up in the bathroom.” Ray chuckled, swaying to the music. He moved his hands over my hips, pulling me closer against him. “One dance and we’re gone. How’s that?” I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder.

“funny that he had them play our song.” I said, running my fingers through rays hair. I twirled the ends around my finger, glad that it had grown out some since he’d had to cut it to get all the marshmallow out. Ray hummed, smiling softly at me before pressing a kiss to my head. “You dog!” I laughed, pulling away to look at him. I gently shoved his chest as I laughed. “How did you convince him?”

“I didn’t. Peter made a bet with egon that he’d leave before any of us did.” Ray shrugged. “Winston heard and well let’s just say we’re all tired of Peter winning all the time.” We both glanced over to where Dana was talking with the other musicians. Peter was fidgeting next to her, glancing at his watch every so often. I shook my head.

“let’s head out.” I said softly, pressing a kiss just below rays ear. “The song sure helps but I think the look on Peter’s face when you go to the firehouse tomorrow is worth it.” Ray grabbed my hand and we hurried over to Winston. He smiled at us and shook his head.

“and here I thought egon was going to leave first.” Winston laughed. He shook rays hand as his spouse looked on in amusement. “Alright. Just don’t be too smug about it tomorrow when egon splits the winnings. Have fun you two.” Winston winked at us before hugging me. Ray and I blushed and headed out hand in hand. I looked back over my shoulder once to see Peter’s pissed off face. I laughed and turned back towards ray when he looked over at me.

“you should have seen the look on venkmans face.” I said as we got into the car. Ray held my hand the whole drive home and eagerly pulled me up the stairs, fumbling slightly with the keys when we reached the door. “Take a breath ray. We have all night.” Ray slumped against the door slightly.

“that does not help.” He sighed, glancing at me. When he finally got the door open and had entered, I spun him around and pushed him against it. Ray gulped as the door slammed closed behind him. “You missed the door knob this time.” He breathed out, eyes blown wide and cheeks adorably flushed.

“good.” I muttered before using his lapels to pull him into a kiss. “The height on that thing is shit.” Ray chuckled as he dipped his head to kiss along my jaw.

“you’re telling me.” He said, smiling as he nipped along the skin. “Bottom or top tonight?” I was walking backwards, pulling him by his lapels, to our bedroom.

“I want you on top of me.” I breathed out, putting one hand on his cheek to draw his lips back to mine. I reached for rays tie and tugged it off, watching his hair bounce back into place. Ray gave me a goofy grin as he started to undress me. I pulled him back for a kiss as I started to unbutton his shirt, slowly moving my tongue into his mouth when his jaw dropped with a moan.

“fuck.” Ray whimpered as I pulled away. I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his chest hair. “I need you.”

“you have me baby.” I whispered. Ray shook his head, dropping to bury his head in my neck. “What do you need sweetheart? You need to tell me.”

“you.” Ray breathed out as I reached down to palm him through his dress pants. “I need you.” I squeezed him gently and ray moaned. “I need to fuck you. Feel you.” He moaned again, breaking off as I pushed down his pants and underwear. Ray mouthed at my neck, grazing his teeth against my collarbone.

“that’s it baby.” I moaned. “Tell me what you need. Tell me how to make you feel good.” I pushed my fingers through rays hair, pressing him closer to me as he took my pants off blindly.

“need to fuck you.” Ray said, pulling away. His mismatched eyes locked onto mine, wide and loving. “Need to come.” I cupped his cheeks and brought him down for a sweet kiss. Ray hummed as his hands started to roam, hovering over my body.

“touch me ray.” I breathed out. His hands made contact with my hips, fingers flexing against my skin. I breathed out through my nose harshly as ray started to slowly map my body. “Raymond. Please.” I sighed as he started to kiss along my jaw. “Fuck me baby.” Ray pulled back slightly and looked at me, love drunk and needy. I nodded at him and he lined himself up, eyes only flicking down for a second before he locked eyes with me again. My fingers were still tangled in his hair and I tugged gently as he entered me. We both moaned at the feeling as ray bottomed out.

“Jesus.” Ray breathed out. Moving my hands down to his shoulders, I pushed him down. Ray hesitated for a second while I encouraged him to settle more of his weight on me.

“I’ve told you before ray, it’s ok. I like your weight on me.” I said softly, scratching his scalp lightly. Ray nodded and laid down some, settling his weight on his forearms next to my head. As I pulled him in for another kiss, ray started to slowly rock into me. I moaned against his lips. Ray groaned as I titled my hips up to meet his. One of my hands trailed out of his hair and settled on his back, my nails occasionally digging into his skin as he picked up speed.

“(Y/N). Fuck.” Ray whimpered. My hand trailed lower and I squeezed his ass cheek as he thrust into me fully. Ray moaned, his head falling back at the feeling.

“feel so good baby.” I murmured, unable to take my eyes off him. “Almost there. You can do it. Fucking me so well.” I kissed his cheek as ray tried to duck his head again. “Make me come baby.” Rays breath hitched as he lost his rhythm, rutting into me with abandon. We both tumbled over the edge together, each of us moaning the others name. Ray collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his waist while my hand went to his hair. My other arm was wrapped around his shoulders tightly. Ray made a noise and kissed my neck.

“you ok?” He asked softly. I nodded, pressing a kiss to his head.

“yeah. Never better.” I said softly. “You ok?”

“never better.” Ray said, lifting his head and smiled at me. I smiled back as I ran my fingers through his hair again. “Love you.”

“love you too.” I said as I pulled him down for a kiss. “So much.”

[tboyswag]

Dan Aykroyd at least to me as a trans man has Tboy vibes but not sure if you agree

hey guys remember when dan aykroyd said that aliens aren't going to visit earth because of 9/11

"(It's) because we are a violent species. They don't want anything to do with us. They watch us.

"There were two white orbs over (New) Jersey when the second tower went down on 9/11. They were on CNN for about two minutes... They never showed it again.

"Can you imagine what was going through their advanced minds when they saw what happened on 9/11?

“These humans crashing our highest evolution in aviation into our highest evolution in architecture and metallurgy, like kids wrecking toys in the sandbox.

“They are disgusted with us. And rightly so. Because we are a depraved, disgusting species."

[tawneybel]

Note: Disgusting monster porn. And one-sided romantic rivalry.

Imagine Eddie witnessing you have psychic sex with Vecna.

Your glazed eyes weren’t the result of anything he gave you. The only non-organic thing Eddie wanted in you was a condom. If you were high, he’d have to wait till you came down. 

Even with your head in the red clouds, you were on cloud nine. 

Henry stood before you. The “real” Henry. The pre-Upside Down one. Both forms were pleasing, though. Which you admitted. He knew that, even without probing your mind. It was the first time you looked flustered. Before, you were intrigued by his appearance; now you were going to be obsessed. That too was obvious. Both of you, alone. Or so he thought. For all his psychic power, Vecna’s love was stronger. Well, mostly er0s at that moment. It was strong enough to keep him fixated on you. 

Biting your lip, you promptly unzipped your sly. Before your thumbs could hook into themselves your panties, tentacles shot out. No longer half-lidded, your gaze latched onto Henry, who’d allowed his facade to slip a little as a tentacle smacked your backside. More of a love pat, really. 

Message received, you shot back, about to step out your panties. Instead, two tendrils swathed your calves, lifting you off the ground. The undergarments have to go, ordered Vecna. Impatient for the first time. He slipped them clean off, making sure they didn’t snag on your shoes. 

Leave those on.  

You were only upended for a few moments as his “limbs” encased and caressed your limbs. Elevated (and compliant), it was like being a marionette. What was that song Eddie liked? “Master of Puppets.” 

“Obey your master,” rasped Vecna. A wet appendage pushed past your unwary lips. 

The gaped mouth was due to shock. Yeah, that’s it, Eddie thought. Thigh massaging against thigh was hard to ignore. There’s no way she’s into this. That scene from Ghostbusters where the ghost lady blew Dan Aykroyd’s character sprang to mind. Something was pressing your tongue down. 

This was a wet dream.

 He smiled. Of course he’d have one about cute ______ ______ sooner or later. Tongue squirming against an invisible cock. Eddie just wished he was the one getting deep-throated.

As soon you thought about your friend, the Upside Down’s lord knew it wouldn’t be enough to just slither into your holes. Claiming them permanently for himself and himself only. He needed to worm inside your brain. The telepathy had up to now been mostly nonintrusive. Now he would need to keep you occupied. Just him and your mutual interests. So far he hadn’t let you put two and two together. You didn’t know Henry created the Mind Flayer.  

And you and him could have had so much fun with Flaying. Sometimes he fantasized about letting humanoid or posthuman minions couple with you. A Flayed horde encircling you. Nervous, dutifully parting your legs and lips for his pleasure anyway. Two of his infested melding together… Maybe like that newspaper editor and his underling had. 

Your face engulfed by an amorous Demogorgon’s petals. The razor-teeth leaving you unmarred, because your countenance was graced by a thick coat of eldritch emission-

Facial.

Henry shrugged. That was one way of putting it. His love was enjoying the wet daydreams he was pumping into her head. While simultaneously pumping his member-

A member, you corrected. the metalhead far from your joint minds.  

[snl-imagine-this]

imagine kissing dan aykroyd and then he tells you all about ufos and then you watch nothing but trouble in silence

Thank you anon!!!!👽🛸💞

[amalthea9]

Here are some pictures of Dan Aykroyd that made me think of you (I could envision imagining Ray wearing those clothes)

EEEEEW!!! oh my lord he is so handsome 😭💖😍 and yes! Ray would absolutely wear those clothes! I especially love that first outfit! Thank you for sharing these with me dear!

[inevitablemoment]

Can you tell us more about the OC Martha, that you made for Ray Stantz?

Oh, yes! Very much so!

Now, she kinda popped into my head and she wasn't initially apart of my plans for the Cathleen Lives 'verse, but as I started putting together ideas and outlining the series, the

First, her full name is Martha Genevieve Ryan.

She is first introduced as the nurse at the school that Tiyah was substitute teaching at.

She was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, but she spent most of her childhood in San Francisco. She moved to New York for college, and lived there for ten years before she met Ray and the guys.

Her faceclaim is Donna Dixon (not just because she and Dan Aykroyd were married, but because I couldn't imagine anyone else as Martha)

No joke, this is how Ray sees her when they first meet.

She wanted to be a doctor, but her father-- whose approval she grew up needing-- convinced her to get a degree in nursing instead. She couldn't find any open nursing jobs in New York hospitals, so she took an open position as a school nurse.

But, in 1983, she made the decision to begin saving to attend medical school with plans on going into internal medicine.

Her medical expertise comes in handy for the Ghostbusters, and she is offered a position as an unofficial medic, occasionally helping with research as well.

She and Ray begin dating shortly after her hiring, and Ray falls head over heels for her.

However, he senses some hesitancy in her when it comes to their relationship.

She confesses to him that she was previously engaged during her college days, but her fiancee died in a car crash when she was taking him to meet her parents. She also confesses that, as she was the one driving the car that day, she feels personally responsible.

Ray is very understanding of her trepidation, and tries his best not to make her feel as if they're moving too quickly for her liking.

After Ray, Egon, Peter, and Winston are taken by the Collectors, Martha becomes an official Ghostbuster along with Janine, Dana, and Tiyah, under Cathleen's leadership.

During those three months, Martha begins being plagued with nightmares, and starts to hear this voice goading her.

She also takes on her new responsibility as a Ghostbuster with a soldier-like attitude. She becomes short with the others, and she shoots her proton stream when a ghost has a civilian hostage.

She is relieved when she is reunited with Ray, but she continues to have nightmares and hear that voice.

She is Ray's date to Winston and Tiyah's wedding in the spring of 1987, but she declines Tiyah's request for her to be a bridesmaid.

During the reception, she has a vision of blood raining down outside.

About a year later, the visions have persisted.

She soon learns that Tiamat has selected her as an emissary/warrior for her.

Under Tiamat's control, she poisons Dana and Egon-- Dana is forced to relive the experience of being possessed by Zuul, and Egon is trapped in a dream world in which Cathleen never lost their first baby.

Martha is able to free herself from Tiamat, but she can't stop her from erasing all but Winston's memories of his marriage to Tiyah.

During her recovery, Martha tells Ray that she has applied to a medical school in Paris, and that she accepted.

She tells him that she knows that everyone-- even him-- will never look at her the same after what she's done and after she kept the visions from him, and that she was wrong to try to rush into a relationship when she obviously hadn't fully grieved her fiancee's death.

They make the decision to break up, and she leaves for Paris as soon as she can.

Ray reveals to Cathleen that he had bought an engagement ring and was planning to propose to Martha, but throws the ring into the Hudson River out of anger.

His break-up with Martha is a cause of depression for Ray for a while, compounded by the fact that all of the lawsuits finally caught up with the Ghostbusters and the business was shut down soon afterward.

It also keeps him from wanting to date-- whether casually or to look for a long-term commitment-- despite his longing to get married and start a family.

Soon after the defeat of Vigo the Carpathian, Cathleen introduces him to Willow Olson.

Ray and Willow marry on Halloween 1990 after a whirlwind courtship.

Martha and Cathleen sporadically communicate, but they eventually fall out of touch.

The last concrete mention of Martha is when she sends a postcard congratulating Cathleen and Egon on the birth of their second daughter, Marie Rae.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@amalthea9 @bixiebeet @professorlehnsherr-almashy @janeb984 @angelixgutz @thealmightyemprex

In the 2009 Ghostbusters videogame, there was the introduction of the character Bryan Welsh, nicknamed the Rookie, who basically was the character you played as the new team member who would learn how to handle the equipment for hunting Ghosts while having the original four Ghostbusters as your mentors.

He was a well received character by fans, so when the IDW licensed Ghostbusters Comics tooked charge of continuing the Team's adventures after the storyline of the videogame, Rookie appeared, now leading the Chicago Division of the Ghostbusters.

I started to imagine who I would have cast if Rookie had appeared as a character in the 1980s live action movies.

After watching the 1983 movie Doctor Detroit, staring Dan Aykroyd, I tought that T.K Carter, who played the protagonist's friend Diavolo in that film, would play a great Rookie (who says a new team member needs to be another generic white guy?):

In his performance, he could play the bravery, the curiosity, the quick learning and the vulnerability of a character who enters this new job of fighting the supernatural because he admires what the original four did for the city and wants to be a hero like them (even tough their heroism was accidental).

At first he can feel insecure for being younger and unexperienced, but slowly he comes to grasp his potential as someone who also has valuable contributions to the work of being a Ghostbuster.

[docgold13]

Apparently the TNBA crew did joke about doing an episode of Killer Moth where they wanted Dan Aykroyd to play him, they just never thought of a good plot.

Now I'm just imagining Killer Moth shilling Crystal Skull Vodka.

That would have made for a great episode!

I read about some of the ideas Timm, Dini and the gang had for episodes of BTAS that never got off the ground. The Nocturna one sounded especially cool.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #674

Top Ten Movie Insults

You fight like a dairy farmer!

Sadly that’s not from a film, otherwise – of course – it would be number one. But cinema has long had a fascination with invective; words as weapons, wielded to wound. Basically, people insulting each other is pretty funny, and it’s been used a lot in all sorts of fiction.

Despite the world being, well, the world (gestures at everything), it wasn’t current affairs that prompted this particular listicle. It’s actually been gestating for a few months, after I rewatched a particular film and was reminded of how much I loved this one particular insult. Yes, it’s on the list, and it features quite highly. You’ll see for yourself before too long. Anyway, that got me thinking about my favourite cinematic insults. Because some of them are belters.

Some of them, also, are very rude. I’ve tried to avoid incessant swearing. But sometimes it can’t be avoided. As a result, this is probably the filthiest list I’ve ever done. It shall be hidden under the fold, as it were; placed in a metaphorical brown paper bag like a naughty magazine or a copy of the Daily Star. Those of a nervous disposition are directed to one of my other Top Tens, like this delightful one about the Muppets that’s still probably the closest this stupid blog has ever come to going viral.

And that’s about it, really. There follows a list of some people being mean to each other and calling each other naughty names. There are probably some big ones missing – I never got round to watching Blade: Trinity, because everyone said it was shit, so Ryan Reynolds’ famous line does not make this list on technical grounds. But there are definitely some classics here, from the sublime to the ridiculous to, well, ones that just blow the bloody doors off. There is, I think you’ll find, an insult for every occasion; all of them from the movies.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

No disrespect, but you’re a cunt. (Brendan Gleeson, In Bruges, 2008): straight in with the filth. But it’s not the no-no words that make this funny; it’s the repetition, the sheer weight of cursing that Brendan Gleeson inflicts upon Ralph Fiennes. And more than that it’s the matter-of-fact delivery, which Fiennes takes with quiet, simmering anger. There's a sadness and a banality to it which speaks to the tone of the film as a whole, and it’s a beautiful, sensitive performance from Gleeson.

Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick. (Bill Murray, Ghostbusters, 1984): really a punchline to a wonderful setup from Dan Aykroyd (“dickless here shut off the power.” “Is this true?”) but it’s a terrific punchline; a playground insult delivered at the best (worst?) possible time. Even funnier is that in the melee that follows, when William Atherton lunges at Murray, you hear the latter try to defend himself with “well that’s what I heard!”.

I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. (R. Lee Emmry, Full Metal Jacket, 1987): to be honest, Emmry’s entire speech to his squad of recruits is fantastic and full of outrageously offensive insults. On the one hand, this is such over-the-top invective as to be utterly hilarious; on the other, it speaks to his characters horrendous and overbearing nature that (spoiler alert) leads to two deaths. This incredible, evocative, imaginative insult is the icing on the whole filthy cake.

You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! (Mike Myers, Shrek, 2001): this was, in fact, the insult that inspired me to write this whole list. It's such a benign, slight thing really; it washes off Donkey’s back when Shrek spits it at him. But the structure of it, the layering of adjectives, and the use of “beast of burden”, makes it both funny and memorable. My favourite line in the film.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! (John Cleese, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975): a line that was quoted ad nauseum when I was at school and every third boy suddenly discovered Python. The group was successful with humour both highbrow and old school, and this was positively playground; Cleese’s French knight is so supremely childish as to be hilarious. “I fart in your general direction”; legitimately classic.

It was nothing like that, penis-breath! (Henry Thomas, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, 1982): Spielberg and writer Melissa Mathison really had a handle on the performance and language of the kids in this film, and Elliott’s frustration and anger and not being believed, and being patronised by his big brother, boils over in supremely realistic fashion. It's the sort of thing a kid would say, spat out almost nonsensically, and Dee Wallace’s reaction – spontaneous laughter followed by telling him off – is spot-on.

You stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder! (Carrie Fisher, The Empire Strikes Back, 1980): this is partly the script – the escalating series of increasingly-silly adjectives – but mostly Carrie Fisher’s expert performance; searching for the most cutting and incisive insult possible, trying to maintain composure despite obvious fury. The way she spits “nerf-herder”! what even is a nerf-herder? And, of course, it’s capped by Harrison Ford’s wounded “who’s scruffy-lookin’?”

Look up “idiot” in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find? (Val Kilmer, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, 2005): a film made up almost entirely of fantastic one-liners, hilarious dialogue, and cutting insults; this one is simple but also ingenious. A furious Val Kilmer barks the question at a pathetic Robert Downey Jr, who knows how the joke ends – “a picture of me?” – only for Kilmer to give it an inventive and, well, really bloody funny little twist.

That fake old tough guy! (Joe Pesci, Goodfellas, 1990): this one might be less popular, although the scene is certainly iconic. Pesci’s Tommy DeVito is belittled by Frank Vincent’s Billy Batts, and turns homicidal. Pesci’s performance throughout the film is a livewire one, at turns boisterously comedic and terrifyingly vicious; here, though, clearly rankled, there’s none of the menace or charisma, just a primal rage. Tommy is almost reduced to a childhood tantrum, and as such his insult is pathetic, small, but darkly funny.

This is my bargain, you mewling quim! (Tom Hiddleston, The Avengers, 2012): a line so famous that it very briefly became something of an unofficial catchphrase for Hiddleston. On one level it’s just a biting, sneery insult, reeking of misogyny, spat by a rage-filled Loki at Black Widow; but then there’s the fact that, well, how on Earth did they get the word “quim” by Disney? I can only assume that a lot of people didn’t know what the word meant. It’s fitting, really, to circle back to gynaecology here at the end of the list; a somewhat more palatable version of the insult from In Bruges. And yes, I instantly regret the use of the word palatable in this context.

EDITED TO ADD!!! As a rule I don't edit my lists after publication, so this ranking will stand. But I've only just remembered one of my favourite - and simplest! - movie insults: Withnail to Uncle Monty. You know the one. In fact, I'm shocked and ashamed that I forgot Withnail altogether: "A coward you are, Withnail! An expert on bulls you are not!" is also great. Sorry everyone!

[monstermaster13]

TFs where it's just one character turning someone into a clone of themselves, looking at you tiger dancer tfs and that one time the dragon villain from Ring Fit Adventure got a lot of TF attention. Look I have no problem with these, but these are just arrogant to me. And this is coming from someone who does Dan Aykroyd character tfs. At least my were-aykroyds aren't obvious nazi wannabes unlike the tiger dancer ones.

'Zoinking'. Oh sure, you act like Zoinking is original but it's just a less horrifying way of saying 'brainwashed', it's just MC only it is the x-rated cut. 'you don't like zonking, get zonked idiot', more like get dum dumed because if those one of those people went up to me and tried to do it i'd turn them into a dum dum were-aykroyd to teach them how a happy transformation can be done without brainwashing.

'Balding'. As a general rule unless you are becoming a character who is naturally bald or a species that does not have any hair/fur in general you shouldn't be doing any balding/hair loss in transformations. I am sorry but if you have a kink for hair-loss you might have some serious problems and deserve to be thrown in an institution. I personally never got hair-loss in animal transformations and the same goes for teeth loss.

Hivemind transformations that don't make sense. For pete's sake, stop trying to enforce negative stereotypes of wolves by making them mindless hive-minded biggots who only exist to assimilate others into being their ilk, it is not cool, and as someone with more than one were-OC I am offended by this negative stereotype.

Jingoism based ones. I am sorry but Americans are typically overweight as they are, they don't need a weight gain fetish stapled into the mix, I am not into half-naked overly hairy nationalist anthro beast-men who think that everything great comes from America. Nationalism of any country is not something to be fetishized. I don't go around shoving Canadian stereotypes into my were-aykroyd stuff do I? Of course I don't.

Clothing TF. Imagine you are me and you are looking at a tf caption or photomanip of let's say Phoebe Cates in Fast Times At Ridgemont High, you immediately think 'awesome, somebody did a TG caption of someone into Phoebe Cates's character from that movie and recreated the iconic scene' only to find it's about someone turning into Phoebe Cates's swimsuit from that movie. 'Aaaaw come on, it's a stupid clothing TF? Why the hell did you just bait me using the image of sexy Phoebe Cates in that scene hoping I would think it's about someone becoming her only to pull this on me?'

British 'chav' type transformations. Yes, because all English/British people swear and smoke and act like soccer hooligans and that totally isn't a stereotype at all. Even if the author is from England themselves they should know better not to portray their own country like that.

Weight gain where it's all 'he got aroused by how fat he was growing', yes author or writer we know you have a fat fetish, stop shoving this crap in my face, I am not turned on by this, yes I liked weight gain in stories, but that was a phase I went through and I only like it if it's willing and happy and they can move and aren't a slob. Heck, my dum dum were-aykroyds are PARODIES of this exact type of weight gain, and they are better written than these because at least they are considered a 'joke' species in the main universe of my character.

Clown tfs where it just a just stereotypical clown. How is it that these unoriginal pieces of crap get a lot of attention and praise while my Spirit Halloween and Joker and Pennywise related works get nothing? Come on, I have almost done all of the Killer Klowns in TF form including Klownzilla and Krusty, I think that should be worth something. If you are just going to go to do a plain old stereotypical clown, screw you. Seriously? That's all it is, just a generic clown design? Booooring. Come back to me once you have done a Joker or Spirit Halloween clown tf.

Fat nerd stereotypes. Oh sure, all anime fans are overweight and are bad at sex, all nerds are bad at sex and have bad hygiene, that is totally not an untrue stereotype at all.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

prompts from @creativepromptsforwriting

prompts used:

“Can you be my girlfriend?” “I already am.” “Oh lucky me!” 

“You look almost as pretty as this moon.” “That’s a street lamp.” “And you’re almost as pretty.” 

“Oh, I think we haven’t met before.” “We have been in a relationship for five years now.” 

“Let’s get you home.” “Oh, mine or yours?” “Ours.” “Oh, wow!” 

“How many drinks did you have?” “Yes, yes I am.” 

warnings: swearing, drunk ray

AN: yeah that’s a lot of prompts. But u can’t tell me ray wouldn’t be the cutest cinnamon roll when drunk.

I laughed to myself as I headed into the firehouse. Egon had called me and practically demanded I come get ray. The entire first floor was covered in beer cans and streamers. The evidence of whatever party they had thrown lay all over the floor and the ecto. There was a noise from upstairs and I shook my head as I started to climb the stairs.

“come on. Just one more.” Peter was trying to get someone to give him something and I nearly gagged before seeing Peter trying to grab a beer can from egon.

“Peter, I cut you off ten minutes ago. You need to sober up some before I let you have this.” Egon said, holding the can above his head. I let out a surprised laugh as I saw ray climb onto the table to grab the beer can. Both egon and Peter turned to look at me as ray grabbed the can and jumped off the table with a triumphant grin even as he nearly fell to the floor. He started laughing as he cracked it open and started drinking.

“What the fuck did I walk into?” I asked, walking over to ray to help him up. He took my hand and stared at me as he slowly stood up. His eyes were wide and I recognized the look on his face. I blushed when he made an ‘o’ with his mouth.

”oh, uh, I don’t…I think we haven’t met before.” Ray said, eyes scanning my face. I smiled softly at him.

“Ray, sweetheart,” I giggled. “We’ve been in a relationship for five years now.” He started pouting, the look on his face making it clear he didn’t get it.

“Oh.” He said. “Can you be my girlfriend? If…if things don’t work out…” I looked down and squeezed his hand.

“Raymond, I already am.” I said, kissing his cheek to drive my point home. Rays eyes went comically wide, making Peter laugh behind us.

“Oh! Lucky me!” Ray squeaked out. I smiled at him. I shook my head as I turned back towards egon. He shook his head at the two of us as Peter collapsed on the couch with laughter.

“How many drinks did you have?” I asked. Ray gave me a dopey smile.

“Yes,” he said, grin growing. “Yes I am.” I sighed and shook my head at him.

“ray.” I sighed as I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair. Ray moved so he was standing behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder. I hummed as he pressed closer to. “Egon?” The man in question raised his eyebrow at me. “How much as this one had to drink?”

“half a case.” I sighed and nodded. “His last beer was an hour ago though. Well before the theft of Peter’s.”

“it’s going to be a long night.” I breathed out as ray tightened his hold on me.

“I think you’re right.” egon agreed. “I’m not sending him home to Dana like this. But you’re more than welcome to take ray home.”

“thanks for the vote of confidence egon.” I laughed. He rolled his eyes at me.

“I just mean that ray is going to be the lovey dovey boyfriend times ten and you’re more than capable of dealing with that.” Egon tried to explain himself. “Peter on the other hand…” he trailed off as we watched Peter try to come on to a pillow. “I do not want to subject Dana to that at all.”

“agreed.” I laughed as I gently pried ray off me. “Night egon. Peter.” I took ray by the hand and started to lead him downstairs.

“Where are we going.?” Ray asked.

“let’s get you home.” I said softly.

“Oh,” ray muttered. He took a second to step through the door before I tightened my grip on him, making sure he wasn’t about to fall over before heading towards our apartment. “Mine or yours?”

“ours.” I chuckled. Rays eyes went wide again.

“oh wow.” He breathed out. “I get a long term girlfriend and an apartment in one night.” He mused, casting his eyes to the sky. I looped my arm through his to better help him walk and squeezed his bicep.

“yeah. Lucky you.” I laughed. Ray smiled up at the sky as we walked. When he nearly walked into a lamp post, I stopped him and cupped his cheeks to make him look at me. “Hey ray sweetheart. You need to watch where you’re going ok? I can guide you but you still need to help alright?” He nodded before looking back up. I chuckled as his dopey grin came back.

“You look almost as pretty as this moon.” He said, looking back at me. I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“ray, that’s a street lamp.” I said, running my fingers through his hair. He nodded, humming as he looked back up.

“yeah.” He said, looking at me again. “And you’re almost as pretty.” I shook my head with a smile before guiding him down into a kiss. Ray hummed happily as he kissed me back. “I feel like I keep lucking out tonight.” He breathed out as he leaned his head against mine.

“I keep thinking I’m the lucky one.” I said, gently scratching the back of his neck. Ray chuckled as a shiver when down his body.

“I think I’m sobering up some.” He said.

“well we can’t have that!” I laughed as he offered me his arm. We started walking back to the apartment again.

“yeah we can.” Ray said, leaning into me. “Sober is good.”

“you’re not wrong.” I said, leaning into him. “While I love drunk ray, I absolutely adore sober ray.” He smiled at me as we climbed up the stairs and headed towards our door.

[ecsundance]

Greatest Night in Pop Film Review

How do you get fifty of the world’s greatest performing pop artists together at the same time to record one song to raise funds and awareness for the poor in Africa? Would you be up for the challenge? Could you imagine simultaneously managing this, writing the song with someone you have never worked with (Michael Jackson), and preparing to host the American Music Awards (AMA) to be held immediately prior to the recording? Would you do it if you knew it would take eight hours to complete and that is after attending the AMAs? Oh, and by the way, do you think you could pull it all together in three weeks without the benefit of cell phones, texting, or even email, using only a landline and a Rolodex?

These are the questions the film answers with the assistance of those who were actually there. With the help of the AMA host Lionel Ritchie, Bruce Springsteen, Cindy Lauper, Sheila E., Kenny Loggins, and Huey Lewis, Director Bao Nguyen was able to capture the emotion, drive, and the planning that went into the making of the “We are the World” recording in 1985.

I got much more than I expected from this movie. I was expecting a documentary like the ones I have seen on PBS. That is interviews of different experts who may or may not have actually been there with backup footage of what was happening in the film with a commentator voice over. It was much more than that and much more insightful as well. The only people interviewed were those with firsthand knowledge who were there.  Bao captures the emotions they were experiencing at the time. The feelings of the artists are captured as the interviews are held in the actual A&M studio where the recording was made. For most, they had never been back to that room since the 1985 recording. This was evident in multiple examples. Whether it was Sheila E. realizing she was a pawn in an attempt to get Prince to perform or the nervousness of Huey Lewis being told at the last minute he would be taking Prince’s place and so had to rework a portion of the song.

The admiration the artists showed for each other was displayed in all of them wanting autographs from each other the night of the recording. The humor displayed in getting through the all nighter included Stevie Wonder telling Ray Charles he would show him the way to the bathroom as well as when Paul Simon reportedly joked, “If a bomb lands on this place, John Denver’s back on top.”

Before the premiere of the Greatest Night in Pop at the Eccles, everyone was very excited to see the film. There was a lot of good buzz leading up to it and it did not disappoint. Afterwards there was a Q&A session that included the director, Bao Nguyen, producer, Julia Nottingham, as well as Lionel Ritchie. It was cool. One of the questions asked was how Dan Aykroyd qualified to be in the group. You just have to remember he was one of the Blues Brothers. 

This film did a great job in capturing the stress that went into the making of the song, as well as how much was unknown going into the night of making the song. It showed the seriousness of the process, and also the comedy that lightened the mood, which had the whole crowd laughing throughout the film. It was crazy to me that this was all planned on such short notice. Overall, it was a heartwarming film that brought laughter and joy to the entire audience!

The impact of the song was enormous. It generated over sixty-four million dollars to aid in African relief and is still generating money for the effort to this day.

OK. In full disclosure the production was easier than that. There were only forty-six recording artists not fifty. Does that help?

Ryan McCormick

[twunny20fission]

Books of 2023

Here are the books I read in 2023, with some thoughts on each

"Westside Lights" by WM Akers. A very good book, and a bittersweet ending to a trilogy I loved.

"Mighty Nein Origins: Fjord Stone" by Burke, Wyatt, Critical Role. A somewhat hollow, but fine entry in the series. Non-fans would get nothing from it, I imagine.

"Mighty Nein Origins: Nott the Brave" by Maggs, Critical Role. One of the best, if not the best, in the series. Pretty and well-constructed.

"The Light Fantastic" by Terry Pratchett. Loving all the Discworld books. This had strengths and weaknesses...not disappointing, but didn't blow me away compared to what I now know is ahead.

"Critical Role: Vox Machina Origins, Vol 3" by Mercer, Houser. Honestly, I don't really remember what happened in this book. The show and the books and the other show all seems to politely ignore each other. It can be maddening.

"Sandman Book 4" by Neil Gaiman. This one seemed to wander until it didn't. A satisfying entry in the story. Not the highest highs of Sandman, but still exemplary.

"The Adventure Zone: 11th Hour" by Clint, Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy and Carey Pietsch. Not my favorite arc, and adapting it must have been a beast. It was mostly successful. Art is always outstanding, the writing was...I'll say C+/B-?

"Cruel Shoes" by Steve Martin. I love Steve Martin's writing. His plays, novellas, and his book "Born Standing Up" are among the best things I've ever read. "Pure Drivel" is another thing I've read, somewhere middling. But Cruel Shoes (published when Steve Martin was a world famous comedian and entertainer, and therefore probably didn't have A. much free time and B. many people telling him 'no') - to put it mildly - sucks.

"Wild and Crazy Guys: How the Comedy Mavericks of the '80s Changed Hollywood Forever" by Nick de Semlyen. I wanted it to go deeper on certain things. But in retrospect, I think it did a great job at what it set out to do. Solid book, and a great thing to check out for those interested in Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray... and to a disappointing degree, John Candy and Rick Moranis.

"Ghost Light Dark Ghost" by R K Johnson. My dad wrote a book! Actually, this is the second one he's had published. It has...issues with the editing. He's one of the smartest people I've ever met, and has written and communicated thousands of pieces over the course of the last 40+ years...but he needed an editor. Some of the typos or fragments are just jarring. Still, I'm very proud. And it's a great story with outstanding characters.

"The Night Marchers & Other Oceanian Stories" by McDonald, et al. I kickstarted a thing that tells folk tales as anthologies of graphic tales. They are middling at best. This was one of the better collections.

"Vision: The Complete Collection" by King, Walta, Bellaire. I'd wanted to read this for a while, and I was not disappointed. Vision (of the Avengers) creates a wife, son, daughter (and eventually dog.) Things go haywire. Things get dark. Things get thought-provoking. Very cool, and I liked it a lot.

"Straight Lady: The Life & Times of Margaret Dumont, the 'Fifth Marx Brother'" by Chris Enss & Howard Kazanjian. I really wanted this to be better. Once it got into her career, the overwhelming weight of the Marx Brothers broke the momentum of talking about anything else. It spent more ink on the movies they made without her than it did on the movies she made without them. There are other books about them. I love them. This book was supposed to be about HER.

"Tamamo the Fox Maiden and Other Asian Stories" by Various authors and artists. This was in the same series as the other "cautionary fables" books. It was fine. Pretty good, but rarely great.

"Equal Rites" by Terry Pratchett. It took a while to get going. There were a lot of things happening, but no stakes or real conflict until about 2/3 of the way through the book. Then everything was rushed. Still smart and funny, but it could have been better.

"Danger and Other Unknown Risks" by Ryan North and Erica Henderson. I will praise both these creators to the moon & back. This book was creative, fun, smart, weird, and exciting.

"The Secret Lives of Color" by Kassia St. Clair. A cool book of featurettes on color: pigments, ideas, histories, etc. Extremely cool. One of those books I think I'll enjoy going back to. It's whimsical, yet grounded in facts.

"The Book of General Ignorance" by John Lloyd. A book to accompany "QI." There is a strong possibility that some of these things have since been disproven (book published in 2006.) But it was fun.

"Mighty Nein Origins: Mollymauk Tealeaf" by Jody Houser, Taliesin Jaffe, and more. This is the best in the 'Mighty Nein' series BY FAR.

"This is How You Lose the Time War" by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone. It is considered standard practice to spoil as little of this book as possible when discussing it. This was a lovely, exciting, engaging, and beautiful book. No more to say right now.

"Nixie of the Mill-Pond & Other European Stories" by McDonald & Ashwin. This is the curse of the completist: even when you are no longer enjoying yourself, but press on. The sunk cost fallacy had be with this series. I kickstarted one, added-on the others, and by godorwhatever, I was going TO READ THEM. The writers didn't have to DO anything! The stories existed. Just tell them well. And almost every time, they BLEW IT.

"Camera Man: Buster Keaton, the Dawn of Cinema, and the Invention of the Twentieth Century" by Dana Stevens. Well-researched, well-written, and fun. Not a perfect book, but worthwhile.

"Stardust" by Neil Gaiman. Fun, smart, and a quick read. Don't think I'll ever need to revisit.

"The Woman in the Woods and Other North American Stories" by Various Creators. I had to finish. This one was probably the best? I would recommend none of them.

"Usagi Yojimbo Book 5: Lone Goat and Kid" by Stan Sakai. At one point early in the year I thought "I'm going to re-read some good-uns this year. Maybe over the summer." It didn't happen. Maybe next year. This is the only thing I read this year that I'd read previously. Usagi Yojimbo is extraordinary. This is not the best in the series, but it's still better than almost everything else out there.

"Mort" by Terry Pratchett. Not my favorite, but still great.

"Parasocial" by Alex de Campi & Erica Henderson. According to my self-reported ratings-at-the-time system, this was the highest-rated book of the year. I think that holds up to rating-now scrutiny. It is relentless, beautiful, important, and unlike anything else out there.

"Captain Carter: Woman Out of Time" by Mckelvie, Cresta, Milla, Arciniega. It was good. Could have been better. This is a comic that I think wanted to be a movie. I'd pay to see it.

"Illustrated Al" by "Weird" Al Yankovic, et al. I wanted it to be good. The fact is, most of the songs don't work as comics. It's fan art. Some of it is okay, most of it is mediocre, and one of them was truly great.

"Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty, Vol. 1" by Kelly, Carnero, Lanzing, Erofeeva. It was clunky but entertaining.

"Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty, Vol 2" by Kelly, Carnero, Lanzing, Erofeeva. Better than the first volume. Engaging, even. But didn't truly grab me.

"The City We Became" by NK Jemison. I don't know that it was a "masterpiece." Maybe the concept + hype set my expectations too high. It has a lot of great factors, but elements of it didn't slide into place perfectly. I'll check out the next one when I can, so it didn't fail.

"The Yiddish Policeman's Union" by Michael Chabon. This was a book a lot of people were talking about ~15 years ago. I never really knew what it was about. Briefly, it's a detective story (I'll say more in the hard-boiled tradition than the noir) in an alternate world where displaced Jewish people settled in Alaska during and after WWII. But the story itself is in the 2000-2010s. The majority of this book is describing people and places. The story itself doesn't take long, but it feels like it does. It has a pulp-detective feel that I enjoyed. The slang was a hurdle. But once I got used to it, I was able to feel very plugged in. The last 100 pages or so felt problematic (no spoilers) and a little rushed. It suffered from that phenomenon I see a lot: it's like the author only has so many pieces of paper left and begins racing to make sure they get things wrapped up before they have to go buy another ream. That's the best way I can explain it.

Moon Knight: the Complete Collection (2011) by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev. Very cool story, with elements of Moon Knight (and Echo) I was not aware of. There were some weird layout choices and trip-up dialogue moments that made it more confusing than it needed to be. But it was fun, smart, emotional, and cool.

Metrics!

Total books: 34

Total (non-graphic novel) pages: 4374

Total pages: 8105

Highest-rated: Parasocial

Lowest-rated: Cruel Shoes

Very Glad I Read It Award: This is How You Lose the Time War

Honorable Mention: The Secret Lives of Color

Glad It's Over Award: (four-way tie) Nixie of the Mill Pond, Night Marchers, Tamamo the Fox Maiden, Woman in the Woods

Disappointment of the Year: Cruel Shoes