#dan aykroyd imagines

[faithiegirl01]

Y’all know what I wanna read? I wanna read a Ray Stantz hanahaki disease fic…

Like could you imagine it. No one thought it was a real thing, but reader (or maybe Ray could work either way…) come down with it. In fear of what the weird disease is they go to Egon for a little help in understanding it, but when he tells them it’s an unrequited love disease they panic.

Egon then continues to tell them that they can talk to the person and maybe just maybe it’s not one sided… but reader shakes their head not really believing that could be a possibility. Egon asks if he can know who it is to hopefully help more, but the person refuses to answer not wanting anyone to find out about and asks if there’s any other options. Of course Egon tells them the only other option is the surgery that would make them forget the person all together. The reader (or Ray…) immediately deflates and doesn’t know how what decision to make so slowly they start to distance themselves.

They weirdly start to feel better for a bit and so they do Egon about it, but he just shrugs and tells them it can be very unpredictable each person could go through it completely different. Then all of a sudden they again start feeling bad and it slowly gets worse so reader stays distanced. Bonus points if the reader is Peter’s little sister and so that could make her like another best friend to Ray. Like they could literally all be so close. Like could you just imagine the angst of it all?

My goodness it’d be so heartbreaking yet so beautiful to read especially if they end up together in the end. Like the angst and fluff vibes that could be added to it all.

I myself would write it, but like I have way to many WIPs in progress and can’t, but it’d definitely be a good read. Especially because technically in the Gohstbuster world that wouldn’t really be a real disease, but like it totally could just be like just something they just didn’t know was a thing.

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Imagine # 1,062

Gif NOT mine.

Year posted - 2024

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 5 minutes

I've been playing a bunch of the Ghostbusters game, and it honestly drives me crazy how messy it is at the firehouse. So this imagine way born from that pet peeve of mine. Enjoy. :)

Walking up to the second floor of the firehouse, (Y/n) sat down her bag, looking around the large room she sighed softly. The place was a mess, as always. She understood perfectly well why the place wasn't always clean, they guys were busy, always busy. Especially after Peck shut down the containment unit, and released all the ghosts they had captured over the past few months. Walking into the kitchen and dining area, she began picking up loose trash and tossing it into the nearby trashcan. The trash was nearly half full to begin with, and after a few minutes of working, it was totally full. She pulled the bag out of the bin, tied it up, and sat it aside.

As she was putting a new bag into the bin, the boys came wandering up the stairs. Funny she hadn't even heard them pull in downstairs. They all greeted her tiredly as they passed by, going straight to their quarters. (Y/n) continued to clean up the littered trash, and the expired food from the fridge. A short while later, Ray come back into the common room. His hair still dripping from his shower. The others having showered and gone straight to bed. "You know you don't have to do all of this (Y/n)." Ray said as he assisted in gathering up the dirty dishes. "Well I am an assistant, and I assist where I'm needed." She smiled softly at her favorite ghostbuster.

"Yeah I guess, but this is our mess." He shrugged, smiling bashfully. "I'm happy to help Ray, besides you guys have your hands full as it is. Speaking of which, go to bed, I've got this covered." She insisted as she took the dishes from his hands, placing them beside the sink, and then preparing the water. "No I'm alright, let me help." He argued, standing beside her stacking the dishes accordingly. "Ray you've been working all day, and you're exhausted. Go get some rest." She smiled at him, playfully bumping her shoulder into his. "I'm not going anywhere." He stated in a playfully serious tone. "You're stubborn, you know that?" She smiled at him, but stopped arguing over the matter any further.

"People usually say that about Peter." Ray joked, effectively making (Y/n) snort with laughter. "Yeah and he definitely is, but apparently so are you." She mused, making him smile. "I wash and rinse, you dry and put them away?" (Y/n) offered as she set to work on scrubbing the dishes. "I think I can manage that." Ray hummed as he retrieved a clean dishtowel. "Well I sure hope so, we've got plenty to do here." She teased as she began rinsing the first sink of dishes. Once the dishes were finished, they picked up the last bits of trash, swept the floor, and then began hauling the trash bags out to the dumpster out back. "I'll get some groceries tomorrow morning." (Y/n) stated as they hauled out the last two bags.

"I'll go with you." Ray added as he tossed his bag in the dumpster, he then took (Y/n)'s and threw it out as well. "You don't have to do that, I can manage alright." She blushed lightly as Ray held open the door open for her. "I know... But I want to." Ray smiled bashfully, following her back upstairs. "Well in that case, I'd love the company." She mused as they stood at the top of the stairs. "Now you should go to bed, you need some sleep." She stated as she grabbed her bag. "I'd rather spend some more time with you." Ray admitted, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink. "And do what Dr. Stantz?" (Y/n) asked as she peered at him, their chests nearly touching from how close she'd moved towards him.

"M-maybe get some dinner? I-I haven't actually eaten since lunch." Ray stammered a little, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Home cooked, or takeout?" She asked. "Considering how late it is, how about takeout?" He asked, trying to sound relaxed, but looking anything but. "Sounds like a date, come on you can stay with me tonight, wouldn't want to disturb the guys." She smiled as his blush depend. "A d-date?" Ray stammered again, following her back downstairs. "If you want it to be." (Y/n) turned to him on the landing of the stairs. "I-I." He cleared his throat. "Do you want it to be?" He asked, again trying to act casual. "I'd love nothing more." She admitted, blushing a bit herself.

"Really!?" Ray beamed in visible excitement, again clearing his throat and trying to play it cool. "I mean... Then it's a date." He smiled charmingly, making (Y/n) giggle softly. "Good." She mused, leaning towards his face to kiss his cheek. Ray blushed deeper, following after her like a lovesick puppy. "Do you think..." Ray trailed off as they walked to (Y/n)'s car. "What is it Ray?" She asked curiously. "Would you maybe want to go on an actual date sometime? Like to a restaurant." He asked. "How about a picnic in the park? Restaurants are always so busy, and a picnic is more intimate." (Y/n) countered. "A picnic... Yeah that sounds really nice." Ray smiled at the thought. "Saturday maybe?" She offered, making Ray beam at her again. "It's a date." He hummed happily.

Buy me a coffee sometime? ☕️

(Click the coffee for my Kofi link, IT'S NOT NECESSARY BTW.)

[remerg]

What if u could just lift up Jake as if he were some kind of cat- (prob only Elwood can actually do that)

Merely based of an image of Dany kinda lifting John up (said image under the cut)

This one is so funny to me bc

Look at their faces oh my god these fucking idiots/pos

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery

warnings: swearing, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), dom/sub relationship

My hand roamed through rays hair as he pressed his face into my neck from behind. His arms were wrapped tightly around my waist. Dana and the rest of the orchestra were under the gazebo, playing as Winston danced with his spouse. We gently swayed as the music played, a small smile grew on my face as I felt ray kiss my neck.

“enjoying yourself?” I whispered. Ray nodded. “Words Raymond.” He chuckled and kissed my neck again.

“Yeah. This is nice.” He whispered back. “Reminds me of our wedding day.” A bigger smile tugged at my lips as I remembered the moment he was talking about.

“yeah. It does.” I agreed. Ray lifted his head to kiss me. “Makes me think about our wedding night.” Ray blushed, squeezing my waist slightly.

“a repeat of that night wouldn’t be terrible.” He said softly, eyes roaming over my face. I smiled at him and nodded.

“it wouldn’t.” I agreed. The music ended and the dj took over. “Do you think Winston would be pissed if we left early?” I turned in rays arms and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“I think he’d be more pissed if we snuck out. Or worse ended up in the bathroom.” Ray chuckled, swaying to the music. He moved his hands over my hips, pulling me closer against him. “One dance and we’re gone. How’s that?” I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder.

“funny that he had them play our song.” I said, running my fingers through rays hair. I twirled the ends around my finger, glad that it had grown out some since he’d had to cut it to get all the marshmallow out. Ray hummed, smiling softly at me before pressing a kiss to my head. “You dog!” I laughed, pulling away to look at him. I gently shoved his chest as I laughed. “How did you convince him?”

“I didn’t. Peter made a bet with egon that he’d leave before any of us did.” Ray shrugged. “Winston heard and well let’s just say we’re all tired of Peter winning all the time.” We both glanced over to where Dana was talking with the other musicians. Peter was fidgeting next to her, glancing at his watch every so often. I shook my head.

“let’s head out.” I said softly, pressing a kiss just below rays ear. “The song sure helps but I think the look on Peter’s face when you go to the firehouse tomorrow is worth it.” Ray grabbed my hand and we hurried over to Winston. He smiled at us and shook his head.

“and here I thought egon was going to leave first.” Winston laughed. He shook rays hand as his spouse looked on in amusement. “Alright. Just don’t be too smug about it tomorrow when egon splits the winnings. Have fun you two.” Winston winked at us before hugging me. Ray and I blushed and headed out hand in hand. I looked back over my shoulder once to see Peter’s pissed off face. I laughed and turned back towards ray when he looked over at me.

“you should have seen the look on venkmans face.” I said as we got into the car. Ray held my hand the whole drive home and eagerly pulled me up the stairs, fumbling slightly with the keys when we reached the door. “Take a breath ray. We have all night.” Ray slumped against the door slightly.

“that does not help.” He sighed, glancing at me. When he finally got the door open and had entered, I spun him around and pushed him against it. Ray gulped as the door slammed closed behind him. “You missed the door knob this time.” He breathed out, eyes blown wide and cheeks adorably flushed.

“good.” I muttered before using his lapels to pull him into a kiss. “The height on that thing is shit.” Ray chuckled as he dipped his head to kiss along my jaw.

“you’re telling me.” He said, smiling as he nipped along the skin. “Bottom or top tonight?” I was walking backwards, pulling him by his lapels, to our bedroom.

“I want you on top of me.” I breathed out, putting one hand on his cheek to draw his lips back to mine. I reached for rays tie and tugged it off, watching his hair bounce back into place. Ray gave me a goofy grin as he started to undress me. I pulled him back for a kiss as I started to unbutton his shirt, slowly moving my tongue into his mouth when his jaw dropped with a moan.

“fuck.” Ray whimpered as I pulled away. I smiled at him and ran my fingers through his chest hair. “I need you.”

“you have me baby.” I whispered. Ray shook his head, dropping to bury his head in my neck. “What do you need sweetheart? You need to tell me.”

“you.” Ray breathed out as I reached down to palm him through his dress pants. “I need you.” I squeezed him gently and ray moaned. “I need to fuck you. Feel you.” He moaned again, breaking off as I pushed down his pants and underwear. Ray mouthed at my neck, grazing his teeth against my collarbone.

“that’s it baby.” I moaned. “Tell me what you need. Tell me how to make you feel good.” I pushed my fingers through rays hair, pressing him closer to me as he took my pants off blindly.

“need to fuck you.” Ray said, pulling away. His mismatched eyes locked onto mine, wide and loving. “Need to come.” I cupped his cheeks and brought him down for a sweet kiss. Ray hummed as his hands started to roam, hovering over my body.

“touch me ray.” I breathed out. His hands made contact with my hips, fingers flexing against my skin. I breathed out through my nose harshly as ray started to slowly map my body. “Raymond. Please.” I sighed as he started to kiss along my jaw. “Fuck me baby.” Ray pulled back slightly and looked at me, love drunk and needy. I nodded at him and he lined himself up, eyes only flicking down for a second before he locked eyes with me again. My fingers were still tangled in his hair and I tugged gently as he entered me. We both moaned at the feeling as ray bottomed out.

“Jesus.” Ray breathed out. Moving my hands down to his shoulders, I pushed him down. Ray hesitated for a second while I encouraged him to settle more of his weight on me.

“I’ve told you before ray, it’s ok. I like your weight on me.” I said softly, scratching his scalp lightly. Ray nodded and laid down some, settling his weight on his forearms next to my head. As I pulled him in for another kiss, ray started to slowly rock into me. I moaned against his lips. Ray groaned as I titled my hips up to meet his. One of my hands trailed out of his hair and settled on his back, my nails occasionally digging into his skin as he picked up speed.

“(Y/N). Fuck.” Ray whimpered. My hand trailed lower and I squeezed his ass cheek as he thrust into me fully. Ray moaned, his head falling back at the feeling.

“feel so good baby.” I murmured, unable to take my eyes off him. “Almost there. You can do it. Fucking me so well.” I kissed his cheek as ray tried to duck his head again. “Make me come baby.” Rays breath hitched as he lost his rhythm, rutting into me with abandon. We both tumbled over the edge together, each of us moaning the others name. Ray collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his waist while my hand went to his hair. My other arm was wrapped around his shoulders tightly. Ray made a noise and kissed my neck.

“you ok?” He asked softly. I nodded, pressing a kiss to his head.

“yeah. Never better.” I said softly. “You ok?”

“never better.” Ray said, lifting his head and smiled at me. I smiled back as I ran my fingers through his hair again. “Love you.”

“love you too.” I said as I pulled him down for a kiss. “So much.”

[coeurdeverre82]

[tboyswag]

Dan Aykroyd at least to me as a trans man has Tboy vibes but not sure if you agree

hey guys remember when dan aykroyd said that aliens aren't going to visit earth because of 9/11

"(It's) because we are a violent species. They don't want anything to do with us. They watch us.

"There were two white orbs over (New) Jersey when the second tower went down on 9/11. They were on CNN for about two minutes... They never showed it again.

"Can you imagine what was going through their advanced minds when they saw what happened on 9/11?

“These humans crashing our highest evolution in aviation into our highest evolution in architecture and metallurgy, like kids wrecking toys in the sandbox.

“They are disgusted with us. And rightly so. Because we are a depraved, disgusting species."

[snl-imagine-this]

imagine encountering a ao3 rpf fanfic in which dan aykroyd and john belushi gave female y/a a icepick lobotomy. months later its gone with no proof it ever existed. but you know. you'll always know.

Thank you for your submission!

[tawneybel]

Note: Disgusting monster porn. And one-sided romantic rivalry.

Imagine Eddie witnessing you have psychic sex with Vecna.

Your glazed eyes weren’t the result of anything he gave you. The only non-organic thing Eddie wanted in you was a condom. If you were high, he’d have to wait till you came down. 

Even with your head in the red clouds, you were on cloud nine. 

Henry stood before you. The “real” Henry. The pre-Upside Down one. Both forms were pleasing, though. Which you admitted. He knew that, even without probing your mind. It was the first time you looked flustered. Before, you were intrigued by his appearance; now you were going to be obsessed. That too was obvious. Both of you, alone. Or so he thought. For all his psychic power, Vecna’s love was stronger. Well, mostly er0s at that moment. It was strong enough to keep him fixated on you. 

Biting your lip, you promptly unzipped your sly. Before your thumbs could hook into themselves your panties, tentacles shot out. No longer half-lidded, your gaze latched onto Henry, who’d allowed his facade to slip a little as a tentacle smacked your backside. More of a love pat, really. 

Message received, you shot back, about to step out your panties. Instead, two tendrils swathed your calves, lifting you off the ground. The undergarments have to go, ordered Vecna. Impatient for the first time. He slipped them clean off, making sure they didn’t snag on your shoes. 

Leave those on.  

You were only upended for a few moments as his “limbs” encased and caressed your limbs. Elevated (and compliant), it was like being a marionette. What was that song Eddie liked? “Master of Puppets.” 

“Obey your master,” rasped Vecna. A wet appendage pushed past your unwary lips. 

The gaped mouth was due to shock. Yeah, that’s it, Eddie thought. Thigh massaging against thigh was hard to ignore. There’s no way she’s into this. That scene from Ghostbusters where the ghost lady blew Dan Aykroyd’s character sprang to mind. Something was pressing your tongue down. 

This was a wet dream.

 He smiled. Of course he’d have one about cute ______ ______ sooner or later. Tongue squirming against an invisible cock. Eddie just wished he was the one getting deep-throated.

As soon you thought about your friend, the Upside Down’s lord knew it wouldn’t be enough to just slither into your holes. Claiming them permanently for himself and himself only. He needed to worm inside your brain. The telepathy had up to now been mostly nonintrusive. Now he would need to keep you occupied. Just him and your mutual interests. So far he hadn’t let you put two and two together. You didn’t know Henry created the Mind Flayer.  

And you and him could have had so much fun with Flaying. Sometimes he fantasized about letting humanoid or posthuman minions couple with you. A Flayed horde encircling you. Nervous, dutifully parting your legs and lips for his pleasure anyway. Two of his infested melding together… Maybe like that newspaper editor and his underling had. 

Your face engulfed by an amorous Demogorgon’s petals. The razor-teeth leaving you unmarred, because your countenance was graced by a thick coat of eldritch emission-

Facial.

Henry shrugged. That was one way of putting it. His love was enjoying the wet daydreams he was pumping into her head. While simultaneously pumping his member-

A member, you corrected. the metalhead far from your joint minds.  

[kinkmanor-too]

It’s true. I lived a vanilla life for decades. I have always been horny and loved nudity but sex was vanilla. Then I discovered kink and BDSM and my world expanded.

I’ve been asked how I came up with the idea for Kink Manor. Besides my extremely high libido and vivid imagination I can think of a few influences.

1) I remember seeing a porn movie back in the 70s or 80s about the Plato’s Retreat sex club. The unrestricted hedonism was intoxicating.

2) Speaking of Hedonism, the Hedonism resorts are a huge influence on the development of Kink Manor.

3) There was a movie adaptation of Anne Rice’s “Exit to Eden”. The BDSM aspect of the resort in that movie is a huge influence. And Dana Delaney as the Mistress of the resort and her creation of the sexual dynamics is so erotic. The movie with Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O’Donnell is dreadful. But Dana and Paul Mercurio are 🔥🔥

4) I worked for several years in the luxury hospitality industry. It was just a natural progression to take my horniness, my growing interest in Kink, and my knowledge of hotels & resorts and merger them.

Thus Kink Manor was born and grows.

Please avail yourself of all the delights and fantasies here. Shed your inhibitions and your clothes, stay as long as you want, and enjoy my world where anything is possible. 😈🔥🔥

[amalthea9]

Here are some pictures of Dan Aykroyd that made me think of you (I could envision imagining Ray wearing those clothes)

EEEEEW!!! oh my lord he is so handsome 😭💖😍 and yes! Ray would absolutely wear those clothes! I especially love that first outfit! Thank you for sharing these with me dear!

[inevitablemoment]

Can you tell us more about the OC Martha, that you made for Ray Stantz?

Oh, yes! Very much so!

Now, she kinda popped into my head and she wasn't initially apart of my plans for the Cathleen Lives 'verse, but as I started putting together ideas and outlining the series, the

First, her full name is Martha Genevieve Ryan.

She is first introduced as the nurse at the school that Tiyah was substitute teaching at.

She was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, but she spent most of her childhood in San Francisco. She moved to New York for college, and lived there for ten years before she met Ray and the guys.

Her faceclaim is Donna Dixon (not just because she and Dan Aykroyd were married, but because I couldn't imagine anyone else as Martha)

No joke, this is how Ray sees her when they first meet.

She wanted to be a doctor, but her father-- whose approval she grew up needing-- convinced her to get a degree in nursing instead. She couldn't find any open nursing jobs in New York hospitals, so she took an open position as a school nurse.

But, in 1983, she made the decision to begin saving to attend medical school with plans on going into internal medicine.

Her medical expertise comes in handy for the Ghostbusters, and she is offered a position as an unofficial medic, occasionally helping with research as well.

She and Ray begin dating shortly after her hiring, and Ray falls head over heels for her.

However, he senses some hesitancy in her when it comes to their relationship.

She confesses to him that she was previously engaged during her college days, but her fiancee died in a car crash when she was taking him to meet her parents. She also confesses that, as she was the one driving the car that day, she feels personally responsible.

Ray is very understanding of her trepidation, and tries his best not to make her feel as if they're moving too quickly for her liking.

After Ray, Egon, Peter, and Winston are taken by the Collectors, Martha becomes an official Ghostbuster along with Janine, Dana, and Tiyah, under Cathleen's leadership.

During those three months, Martha begins being plagued with nightmares, and starts to hear this voice goading her.

She also takes on her new responsibility as a Ghostbuster with a soldier-like attitude. She becomes short with the others, and she shoots her proton stream when a ghost has a civilian hostage.

She is relieved when she is reunited with Ray, but she continues to have nightmares and hear that voice.

She is Ray's date to Winston and Tiyah's wedding in the spring of 1987, but she declines Tiyah's request for her to be a bridesmaid.

During the reception, she has a vision of blood raining down outside.

About a year later, the visions have persisted.

She soon learns that Tiamat has selected her as an emissary/warrior for her.

Under Tiamat's control, she poisons Dana and Egon-- Dana is forced to relive the experience of being possessed by Zuul, and Egon is trapped in a dream world in which Cathleen never lost their first baby.

Martha is able to free herself from Tiamat, but she can't stop her from erasing all but Winston's memories of his marriage to Tiyah.

During her recovery, Martha tells Ray that she has applied to a medical school in Paris, and that she accepted.

She tells him that she knows that everyone-- even him-- will never look at her the same after what she's done and after she kept the visions from him, and that she was wrong to try to rush into a relationship when she obviously hadn't fully grieved her fiancee's death.

They make the decision to break up, and she leaves for Paris as soon as she can.

Ray reveals to Cathleen that he had bought an engagement ring and was planning to propose to Martha, but throws the ring into the Hudson River out of anger.

His break-up with Martha is a cause of depression for Ray for a while, compounded by the fact that all of the lawsuits finally caught up with the Ghostbusters and the business was shut down soon afterward.

It also keeps him from wanting to date-- whether casually or to look for a long-term commitment-- despite his longing to get married and start a family.

Soon after the defeat of Vigo the Carpathian, Cathleen introduces him to Willow Olson.

Ray and Willow marry on Halloween 1990 after a whirlwind courtship.

Martha and Cathleen sporadically communicate, but they eventually fall out of touch.

The last concrete mention of Martha is when she sends a postcard congratulating Cathleen and Egon on the birth of their second daughter, Marie Rae.

[ariel-seagull-wings]

@amalthea9 @bixiebeet @professorlehnsherr-almashy @janeb984 @angelixgutz @thealmightyemprex

In the 2009 Ghostbusters videogame, there was the introduction of the character Bryan Welsh, nicknamed the Rookie, who basically was the character you played as the new team member who would learn how to handle the equipment for hunting Ghosts while having the original four Ghostbusters as your mentors.

He was a well received character by fans, so when the IDW licensed Ghostbusters Comics tooked charge of continuing the Team's adventures after the storyline of the videogame, Rookie appeared, now leading the Chicago Division of the Ghostbusters.

I started to imagine who I would have cast if Rookie had appeared as a character in the 1980s live action movies.

After watching the 1983 movie Doctor Detroit, staring Dan Aykroyd, I tought that T.K Carter, who played the protagonist's friend Diavolo in that film, would play a great Rookie (who says a new team member needs to be another generic white guy?):

In his performance, he could play the bravery, the curiosity, the quick learning and the vulnerability of a character who enters this new job of fighting the supernatural because he admires what the original four did for the city and wants to be a hero like them (even tough their heroism was accidental).

At first he can feel insecure for being younger and unexperienced, but slowly he comes to grasp his potential as someone who also has valuable contributions to the work of being a Ghostbuster.

[docgold13]

Apparently the TNBA crew did joke about doing an episode of Killer Moth where they wanted Dan Aykroyd to play him, they just never thought of a good plot.

Now I'm just imagining Killer Moth shilling Crystal Skull Vodka.

That would have made for a great episode!

I read about some of the ideas Timm, Dini and the gang had for episodes of BTAS that never got off the ground. The Nocturna one sounded especially cool.

[myveryownfanfiction]

18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

tags: @illiana-mystery, @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @lulusplaycorner, @psychokinetic-ectoplasm, @theselfshippingwitch

warnings: swearing, mentioned cheating (but not really)

I turned to look at ray who nodded at me. Smiling brightly, I rounded the corner to see all the little kids sitting at their parents feet. Callie was perched on egons lap while Oscar sat besides Dana.

“who’s ready for Santa?” I called, subtly holding out my hand to tell ray to wait. All the kids yelled and I waved him in. “Here he is! Santa’s here!” I quickly moved to the side by Peter before I got mobbed by kids.

“How he can stand to be in that stuffy suit surrounded by a bunch of crotch goblins I’ll never know.” Peter mumbled. I elbowed him, earning a pleased look from Dana.

“one of those crotch goblins is yours peter. I hope you know that.” I pointed out. The kids circled ray as he tried to make his way to the only free chair in the room. They all talked over each other yet ray was somehow able to hear what they were saying and respond to each one.

“Alright. Hold on everyone. Let’s form a line and everyone will get a chance to talk to Santa.” Ray said, voice deepened to try to hide the fact it was him. The only one eyeing him suspiciously was Winston’s son, William. Winston was holding him by the shoulders, whispering in his ear as the younger kids pushed their way into a line. Ray swung Callie up onto his knee. I smiled fondly at him as she erupted into giggles. Egon tensed for a second before making an exit towards the kitchen, his wife trailing after him.

“he’s still overprotective.” Peter whispered, catching my gaze. “Thinks something like that is going to hurt her. He’s getting better but…” he shrugged. “You remember how egon was.” I nodded.

“it’s still strange to see him with a kid. But you have to admit, he’s a great father.” I said. Peter smirked and nudged me.

“speaking of fathers, how’s ray doing?” He asked. I laughed.

“couldn’t be better. I’m waiting til he picks her up as Santa. I’m curious to see how that one goes.” I said. “Winston and I have a bet. I say she’s gonna recognize him no matter what. Winston says she’s too young to know the difference.” Peter raised an eyebrow.

“put me down for she knows.” He whispered. “That why she’s going last?” I nodded.

“why ruin it for the others? They’ll know she knows who it is. Especially if she grabs onto his shirt the way she does. Kind of hard to hide it then.” I said. Peter chuckled.

“sounds like someone else I know when ray gets his hands on them.” He said. “Wonder where she learned that from?”

“shut up Pete.” I said, shoving him as William walked away from ray. “Ready Santa?” I asked, leaning over the bassinet as the kids were troped upstairs to bed.

“ready.” Ray said, holding out his arms for his daughter. I set her in his arms and smiled as ray looked down at her. She wiggled in his arms, waking up. Blinking at him, she grabbed the beard and tugged. I smirked as she pulled the beard down.

“Dada.” She said, my smirk turning into a smile. “Dada.” Ray looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

“Shit. guess dressing as Santa for her is out of the question.” He joked, voice cracking. “Too smart for her own good.” He laughed, rubbing his finger over her cheek and resigning to the fact he was wrapped around her finger as she grabbed onto it. “Well shit.” Ray sniffed, laughing as he tried to blink back tears. “I didn’t know id be so emotional hearing her say that.” I hugged him, wrapping an arm around her as I kissed his cheek.

“yeah well. She’s a daddy’s girl. Of course it was going to be her first word.” I teased him. Ray smiled at me before getting up to put her back down as everyone came back down. “Alright. Pay up. She knew. And she said her first word.” Ray turned slightly red, making Winston and Dana groan.

“shit.” Winston muttered. “How does she know ray? How the hell does she know?” Ray shrugged as he watched me get paid.

“She’s just smart I guess.” He said, glancing up stairs.

“Everyone in bed?” Winston asked. Everyone nodded and ray went to his locker to grab the bag of presents. “Good. Let’s get started.” The tree in Peter’s office was still lit from earlier in the night and we started sectioning off the presents for each of the kids. Ray would occasionally pause to look over at me as I put out some presents for Oscar or our baby, moving closer to him as I worked. Suddenly, Ray grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a kiss.

"Aw great. We lost them." Peter groaned. "Everyone carry on. Egon get the hose." Egon rolled his eyes as he patted Peter's shoulder.

"Leave them alone Peter. They don't get much time alone right now." Egon whispered as Ray deepened the kiss. I held onto the belt of the costume as Ray cupped my cheek. He broke away with a smile.

"Mistletoe." He whispered, glancing up for a second. I followed his gaze before smiling softly at him with a shake of my head. "Venkman's idea."

"Oh I know it was." I murmured before gently tugging on his shirt to kiss him again.

"Break it up lovebirds. Time for the adults to go to sleep." Winston joked as he patted Ray on the shoulder. Ray broke away with a smile, lips slightly swollen from being kissed. I bit my lip as he nodded before leaving me completely to get our daughter.

"Come on sweetheart. Time to sleep. And then tomorrow morning you get all the presents." Ray whispered to her as she yawned and stretched. "Yeah I know. It's been a long day." Holding tight to her, Ray slipped his arm over my shoulder as we headed to our room in the Firehouse. "You know, if it weren't for her..." I laughed as I wrapped my arm around Ray's waist.

"And your back." I laughed. "We'd be sleeping in the Ecto. I know. You forget we've been doing this a few years now Ray." His cheeks tinted pink as we reached our room. He set our baby down in the crib before going to change out of the suit.

"Do you think any of the kids know?" Ray asked as he got into bed, arm around my waist as we laid face to face.

"William might. And Oscar seems to be starting to question it a little. Mostly wondering where you are when Santa shows up." I said. "But I also trust them to keep their mouths shut." Ray nodded before kissing me softly. We fell asleep not long after. The sound of feet running down the staircase woke us up. Ray kissed my cheek before getting a robe. He picked up our daughter and headed into the kitchen to get her a bottle while he waited on coffee. I entered the lobby to see Ray holding his coffee cup in the air with a bottle in his robe pocket, surrounded by kids.

"Ray. Ray. (Y/N) kissed Santa last night!" Callie said, looking up at Ray with big eyes. Egon shared a look with his wife, slight concern etched on his face. "How could (Y/N) kiss Santa? Do they not love you?"

"(Y/N) loves me very much." Ray assured her, ruffling her hair with his free hand. "I'm sure they had very good reason to kiss Santa last night." He looked up at me, trying very hard to keep himself from laughing.

"But Ray!" Oscar exclaimed. "You don't understand. (Y/N) KISSED Santa. Under the mistletoe. While everyone else put out the presents!" Peter walked over to me after leaning over the bassinet and tickling the baby.

"So what do you think?" he whispered. "Think they've realized Ray is Santa yet?" I shook my head.

"Nope. Not if they are this worked up over it." I whispered back. Peter nodded, watching Ray make his way over to the couch and sit down. Ray continued to try to explain why he wasn't upset by this news without giving anything away or laughing. I finally turned towards Peter and covered my mouth while laughing. "I cannot believe we didn't know they snuck down."

"Well, I will say you two were pretty distracted. But then again so were we." Peter said. I nodded and made my way over to ray.

“hey guys! Don’t you want to see what Santa brought you?” I called, making my way to the couch before sitting down next to ray. The kids took off and I giggled as ray sighed. He relaxed against the couch before handing Dana the bottle, smiling thankfully up at her. “So they’re pretty upset.” I teased. Ray rolled his eyes.

“yeah well…” he said before kissing me softly. “Someone did see you kissing Santa Claus last night.” We both chuckled as egon sat next to us.

“what are two going to do when she’s old enough to sneak down and catches you?” He asked, looking at us with a knowing smile.

“well she’ll just know it’s ray anyway.” I shrugged. “Last night proved it. Besides, I think she’ll have a sixth sense about it.” Egon looked at me confused.

“sixth sense?” He looked between ray and me.

“she’s gonna know how much we love each other that it couldn’t be anyone but me.” Ray said, smiling before kissing me again. The kids broke our kiss apart as they raced back over with their presents. Ray smiled at me before taking a sip of coffee and watching the festivities start.

[hardworkandguts]

Magilumiere Co. Ltd.

株式会社マジルミエ

(Anime)

Techbro Magical Girls by Sekka Iwata, Yu Aoki

Era: 2020s

Rating: C

Plot: IN A WORLD where Japan has a problem with strange creatures called Kaii, being a magical girl is a well paid and respected career. Kana Sakuragi, fresh out of college and finding it difficult to get a job by chance runs into a big kaii problem during a job interview, and thanks to her photographic memory helps Hitomi Koshigaya, one such magical girl, to deal with it. As it happens, Magilumiere, the start-up company Hitomi works at, is looking to add a second magical girl to their roster.

Length: 12 episodes (second season confirmed)

Thoughts: Well, I said on the mid-season recap it was going to be tough arranging my thoughts on this and since then nothing changed my mind. Do I rate it for what it is and ignore my most uncharitable view this is about doing pest control in magical girl cosplay at a tech company? Starting with the good, it's quite a looker, and seeing magical girls who don't need to be thinking about schoolwork is admittedly fresh; overall the characters are interesting, and it does convey the sense each of the featured companies does something different - one thing I won't accuse the show of is having poor world building, in that aspect it is very well crafted and well imagined.

On the other hand, I really don't like the path the premise took. The tech company angle makes it feel more like assembling a RPG party or what if Harold Ramis and Dan Aykroyd had been heavily into Majokko Megu-chan while writing Ghostbusters for some bizarre reason. There were ways better of exploring the concept of professional magical girls without doing tech lanyards and a guy pushing OTA updates. There was a point I was really considering if I was really being too unkind with my very uncharitable views, and then tech expo show dropped. No, I was right, that was a mix of CES for pest control professionals who must work while cosplaying.

So, what should I do? Honestly, I feel this one just wasn't for me (or anyone tired of the tech industry) and should have dropped after the first couple of episodes. For anyone intrigued by the concept of mixing up tech startups and magical girls, it might just we'll be your next favourite show. My whole deal is "you should check out shows if my ramblings intrigue you", not "you should avoid anything I don't particularly like", so, you know. It's getting a second season to expand on the world it created, which is always great news in the current state of the industry, but very likely this might be it for me.

Recommended to: looking for a radically different approach to magical girls?

Plus:

I do like the characters, and the animation generally does it's job without a hitch.

Regardless of how I feel about the premise, it is a well crafted world.

Minus:

Once again, and this is pretty much on me, I wasn't sold on the concept.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #674

Top Ten Movie Insults

You fight like a dairy farmer!

Sadly that’s not from a film, otherwise – of course – it would be number one. But cinema has long had a fascination with invective; words as weapons, wielded to wound. Basically, people insulting each other is pretty funny, and it’s been used a lot in all sorts of fiction.

Despite the world being, well, the world (gestures at everything), it wasn’t current affairs that prompted this particular listicle. It’s actually been gestating for a few months, after I rewatched a particular film and was reminded of how much I loved this one particular insult. Yes, it’s on the list, and it features quite highly. You’ll see for yourself before too long. Anyway, that got me thinking about my favourite cinematic insults. Because some of them are belters.

Some of them, also, are very rude. I’ve tried to avoid incessant swearing. But sometimes it can’t be avoided. As a result, this is probably the filthiest list I’ve ever done. It shall be hidden under the fold, as it were; placed in a metaphorical brown paper bag like a naughty magazine or a copy of the Daily Star. Those of a nervous disposition are directed to one of my other Top Tens, like this delightful one about the Muppets that’s still probably the closest this stupid blog has ever come to going viral.

And that’s about it, really. There follows a list of some people being mean to each other and calling each other naughty names. There are probably some big ones missing – I never got round to watching Blade: Trinity, because everyone said it was shit, so Ryan Reynolds’ famous line does not make this list on technical grounds. But there are definitely some classics here, from the sublime to the ridiculous to, well, ones that just blow the bloody doors off. There is, I think you’ll find, an insult for every occasion; all of them from the movies.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

No disrespect, but you’re a cunt. (Brendan Gleeson, In Bruges, 2008): straight in with the filth. But it’s not the no-no words that make this funny; it’s the repetition, the sheer weight of cursing that Brendan Gleeson inflicts upon Ralph Fiennes. And more than that it’s the matter-of-fact delivery, which Fiennes takes with quiet, simmering anger. There's a sadness and a banality to it which speaks to the tone of the film as a whole, and it’s a beautiful, sensitive performance from Gleeson.

Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick. (Bill Murray, Ghostbusters, 1984): really a punchline to a wonderful setup from Dan Aykroyd (“dickless here shut off the power.” “Is this true?”) but it’s a terrific punchline; a playground insult delivered at the best (worst?) possible time. Even funnier is that in the melee that follows, when William Atherton lunges at Murray, you hear the latter try to defend himself with “well that’s what I heard!”.

I bet you’re the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. (R. Lee Emmry, Full Metal Jacket, 1987): to be honest, Emmry’s entire speech to his squad of recruits is fantastic and full of outrageously offensive insults. On the one hand, this is such over-the-top invective as to be utterly hilarious; on the other, it speaks to his characters horrendous and overbearing nature that (spoiler alert) leads to two deaths. This incredible, evocative, imaginative insult is the icing on the whole filthy cake.

You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! (Mike Myers, Shrek, 2001): this was, in fact, the insult that inspired me to write this whole list. It's such a benign, slight thing really; it washes off Donkey’s back when Shrek spits it at him. But the structure of it, the layering of adjectives, and the use of “beast of burden”, makes it both funny and memorable. My favourite line in the film.

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries! (John Cleese, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975): a line that was quoted ad nauseum when I was at school and every third boy suddenly discovered Python. The group was successful with humour both highbrow and old school, and this was positively playground; Cleese’s French knight is so supremely childish as to be hilarious. “I fart in your general direction”; legitimately classic.

It was nothing like that, penis-breath! (Henry Thomas, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, 1982): Spielberg and writer Melissa Mathison really had a handle on the performance and language of the kids in this film, and Elliott’s frustration and anger and not being believed, and being patronised by his big brother, boils over in supremely realistic fashion. It's the sort of thing a kid would say, spat out almost nonsensically, and Dee Wallace’s reaction – spontaneous laughter followed by telling him off – is spot-on.

You stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder! (Carrie Fisher, The Empire Strikes Back, 1980): this is partly the script – the escalating series of increasingly-silly adjectives – but mostly Carrie Fisher’s expert performance; searching for the most cutting and incisive insult possible, trying to maintain composure despite obvious fury. The way she spits “nerf-herder”! what even is a nerf-herder? And, of course, it’s capped by Harrison Ford’s wounded “who’s scruffy-lookin’?”

Look up “idiot” in the dictionary, you know what you’ll find? (Val Kilmer, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, 2005): a film made up almost entirely of fantastic one-liners, hilarious dialogue, and cutting insults; this one is simple but also ingenious. A furious Val Kilmer barks the question at a pathetic Robert Downey Jr, who knows how the joke ends – “a picture of me?” – only for Kilmer to give it an inventive and, well, really bloody funny little twist.

That fake old tough guy! (Joe Pesci, Goodfellas, 1990): this one might be less popular, although the scene is certainly iconic. Pesci’s Tommy DeVito is belittled by Frank Vincent’s Billy Batts, and turns homicidal. Pesci’s performance throughout the film is a livewire one, at turns boisterously comedic and terrifyingly vicious; here, though, clearly rankled, there’s none of the menace or charisma, just a primal rage. Tommy is almost reduced to a childhood tantrum, and as such his insult is pathetic, small, but darkly funny.

This is my bargain, you mewling quim! (Tom Hiddleston, The Avengers, 2012): a line so famous that it very briefly became something of an unofficial catchphrase for Hiddleston. On one level it’s just a biting, sneery insult, reeking of misogyny, spat by a rage-filled Loki at Black Widow; but then there’s the fact that, well, how on Earth did they get the word “quim” by Disney? I can only assume that a lot of people didn’t know what the word meant. It’s fitting, really, to circle back to gynaecology here at the end of the list; a somewhat more palatable version of the insult from In Bruges. And yes, I instantly regret the use of the word palatable in this context.

EDITED TO ADD!!! As a rule I don't edit my lists after publication, so this ranking will stand. But I've only just remembered one of my favourite - and simplest! - movie insults: Withnail to Uncle Monty. You know the one. In fact, I'm shocked and ashamed that I forgot Withnail altogether: "A coward you are, Withnail! An expert on bulls you are not!" is also great. Sorry everyone!