#damnit Amazon

[sarahhudgins]

The BS going on over at Kindle Unlimited has me completely rethinking my publishing plan (aka being a hybrid author) just as I settled into writing with the goal of doing it full time.

[frankenbolt]

Ghoulboys, Ghoulboys, whatcha gonna do~

I tellya what, nothing quite like taking a man, removing the skin and nose and giving him trauma, guilt, a drug problem and a sassy little hat.

-kicks feet in the air- Love that for them. Gosh, would certainly love being in the middle there. Golly. -twirls hair-

Even better if they had to meet and team up for a mission that involves say, a vaultie who used to regularly go see one of them in movies once upon a time~ I just think that'd be swell!

[dyrewrites]

Is it wrong to want Amazon to email me when someone buys one of my stories?

Itchio emails me and I love it, I get to go look and giggle and assume someone here is responsible and come tell whoever you are that I am grateful.

But Amazon doesn't tell me anything. Not sales, not reviews, nothing. I have to go check and then I feel like I care too much. >.<

--

Anyway, whoever bought 'The Portrait' last week, I love you. Thank you for that. I hope you enjoy it.

[desperatepleasures]

had a dream they released an affordable laptop where the plastic was translucent and galaxy print. unfortunately it was amazon branded. absolute saw trap situation

[kyliafanfiction]

I do like that they're showing that the Brotherhood is just, full on insane, with the Branding and the weird ritualism.

[nosyrobin]

What if the superson trio swapped bodys like superman, batman and stargirl did in justice league action?

“Swapped bodies”

Summary: swapping bodies was the worst thing ever to happen to the future trinity of heroes.

Pair: Superson trio

“Ugh! Catch him Robin!” Wonderboy yells, flying with superboy who trying to reach Mr Mxyzptlk who keeps swerving in the air. Robin clicks his tongue in distaste at the impatient Amazon. “What do you think I’m doing you brute.” Robin sasses as he keeps his eyes on the imp. He was on a roof, readying his grapple before Y/N spotted him. Y/N picked Robin up who “tt” at the male. Mr Mxyzptlk sticks his tongue out at the ten year olds. Superboy frowns, “Hey. That’s not nice dude.” Mr Mxyzptlk smirks. “If you think that’s not nice, then get a load of this!”

The imp randomly has a bender in front of the children, the flying boys stop. You still held Robin in your arms who was ready to aim his grapple right there. But sadly the imp had already put his action into phase as the souls of you and the supersons got sucked in the blender. Mr Mxyzptlk laughed his head off, seeing the ten year old boys scream and get their souls swapped. As the imp poofs away, laughing. The souls enter their not rightful place.

Y/N opened his eyes to see he was still flying, but turned his head to see that his body was holding Damian. Or was it Damian? “What the?!” Jon yells looking at the Amazon male. They had swapped bodies. And Damian doesn’t know how to fly, making him fall with a yell with Jon still in his arms. “Damnit!” Y/N yells, he immediately swooped down and held the two boys by their waist. “I hate this.” “Me too Prince.”

At the bat cave, Y/N were in Jon’s body, Jon was in Damian’s body, and Damian was in his body. Y/N immediately grabbed onto his body. Shaking the boy, “get out of my body Damian!” Y/N yelled. He was angry, confused, and annoyed. His eyes turned red, indicating heat vision that’s about to burst. Damian quickly pushed your head aside, the laser shooting off and damaging something. Jon awkwardly stood there, he felt happy he couldn’t hear things far away or even see through things accidentally. But still, he couldn’t do anything at the moment as the two super strong boys argue.

“If you were a little bit more patient, we would’ve succeeded in this mission!” Damian yells in Y/N’s body. Y/N gritted his teeth, pushing Damian from him. “Right, but you took your sweet time didn’t you Damian!” Y/N yells. Damian flew across the cave, before immediately tackling Y/N. Jon’s eyes widen, he tried to move towards the two angry boys. But with how they both were pulling hair and using their excessive strength. Jon said “nope, fuck this” and went to find the adults.

As y/n and Damian were tumbling around and wrestling. Jon came back with Batman and Superman. “Holy!—” Clark immediately tears the boys apart from each other. Y/N was still feral along with Damian. Trying to claw at each other. “Boys!” Superman yells out. The two stopped, looking at the kryptonian. “What is going on?” Jon, aka who’s in Damian’s body start to explain the situation that had happened.

“We sneaked out to do our own mission for this patrol but we caught this weird little goblin looking dude, can I say he was rude because he stuck his tongue at me and—”

“JON! Get on with it man!” Y/N yelled out impatiently.

“Oh right! Okay but like then he popped this blender out and switched our souls so now I’m in Damian’s body, damian’s is in Y/N’s body and Y/N is in mine and they started to fight so I got you guys here to se if yall can fix this.” Jon says, finishing in one blow. Clark and Bruce looked at each other and sigh.

What will they do with these three.

Time passed with the trio as Bruce went to contact someone. Firestorm soon walked in, smiling as he held Mr Mxyzptlk like a stray cat. The imp was nervously chuckling. “Ah Pooh, guess my fun is over.” Batman leaned his face at the imp. “Fix them.” Batman points to Jon who stands there with Superman holding two angry boys. Glaring at the imp, eyes filled with rage and distaste. Firestorm smirked, “or else professor would like a little talk with you.” Mr Mxyzptlk shudders again the thought of the professor in his head. “Fine! Here kids.”

“Kltpzyxm” the imp poofs away, not wanting to deal with the professor like last time. The souls of the boys went back to place. Jon smiled seeing his hands, Damian scoffed meanwhile Y/N rolled his eyes but smiled. “Awesome, we’re back to our bodies. You can put me down man.” Clark frowned. “Can’t do that sport.” The boys raised a brow as Jon looked at his father. Batman walked up to the trio. “You snuck out to do your own mission. You failed and got yourself in trouble. You are all grounded,” Brufe then points to the Amazon boy. “And I’ll be contacting your mother Y/N.” Y/N’s eyes widened, Jon frowns. And Damian scoffs.

“AH WHAT?!”

[swedebeast]

god FUCKING damnit

[aikoiya]

Jason Todd's All-Blades

"A pair of mystical blades used by the All-Caste, made out of copper designed to kill magic-based threats, such as the Untitled or Amazons, but cannot harm anything else.

They can only be summoned in the presence of absolute evil. The blades are powered by the soul of the wielder, and can be powered by spilling the wielder's own blood.

Jason once believed that the blades were indestructible, until Essence broke them.

However, once Jason truly mastered the All-Caste's teachings, he gained access to the real All-Blades, being capable of summoning them to his hands by will." - https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/All-Blade

How absolutely badass is that??

Seriously, why is this not featured in fanfics more!?!?

I literally only found out about these things recently!!

Like, look at this:

HOW COOL IS THAT SHIT!?!?

I DEMAND (said jokingly, fondly even) to see this feature used more, damnit!!

I'd make one change to them, though.

They don't only appear in the presence of pure evil & also work on paranormal beings. They are, however, only deadly to those who are evil. They can hurt those who aren't, but can't kill them.

This gives them more versatility.

Random Fandom Masterlist

[ilikemymusic]

Casually listening to the “my mix” on Amazon music and hearing a song by a band called “The Left Rights” and thinking it sounds good, and it kinda reminds me of MSI, then getting a bit too suspicious, I checked the members and look who I see Jimmy Euringer, damnit guys

No but there’s one album with like 43 songs and they’re so fly guys 🙏

[moongothic]

Yeah no I can't stop thinking about this. I need to get this extremely cursed theory out of my system. Let's just go.

Could Rayleigh and Shakky be Crocodile's parents?

So the thing is, I was gonna post about this like ages ago, but then I canned my original post. Because I realized that based on the timeline we have, for this theory to be true Shakky would've had to become pregnant at age 17 and given birth at 18 while Rayleigh was like 31. And needless to say, that's gross as hell. So yeah, I cancelled that original theory post because of that.

But then I realized that between Oda repeatedly treating 17 year olds as """not children""" in OP (see: Dragon literally saying Luffy isn't a child anymore at age 17), and other shit like how 16 year old Pudding was almost married to 21 year old Sanji

Like shit's creepy as hell. But alas, because Oda is Oda, it would actually fit in-universe. Like the theory is still fucking viable. Because fucking Oda, man.

And god fucking damnit the thought just keeps on haunting me. Because I am unironically curious whether or not this could be a genuine, viable theory. So yeah. I just need to get this theory out of my system. Let's just get it done with, alright

So what kind of started off this theory in my mind was remembering Buggy's off-hand comment/joke about Rayleigh being Luffy's uncle

Because that got me also thinking about some other, vaguely related theories, and like... Like we all know these theories, right;

that Luffy's mom is a Kuja (people speculate that's why Kuma sent him to Amazon Lily, that Luffy had a connection to the island)

that Crocodile has Kuja heritage (the Missing Empress is pretty much debunked but it is a popular, related and vaguely relevant theory too)

that Crocodile is Luffy's other dad

And I could not help but to wonder if these theories could somehow be combined together into one Giga Theory

And the funny thing is, we know that Rayleigh did marry a Kuja Empress, Shakky. Which actually does mean that the four theories could be mashed together. Like sure the other three theories could already be combo'd together but Buggy's theory would somehow really complement the other theories and bring them all together???

Of course, if Crocodad is real and Rayleigh turned out to be Crocodile's dad, then Buggy's comment wouldn't be fully accurate, since Rayleigh would be Luffy's other grandfather, not uncle. But it'd still be funny as hell in its own right, since the two would turn out to be blood-relatives. Like how the fuck was Buggy onto something there. Not to mention, as of now, two of Buggy's predictions in the Summit War Saga have already turned true (him becoming a Shichibukai and then a Yonkou, the only one that hasn't come true yet is him becoming Pirate King)

But indeed, if Shakky and Rayleigh were Crocodile's parents, then that would mean Crocodile would have Kuja heritage, it would mean Luffy's birthing parent was (technically) a Kuja, Buggy's joke would be kind of true and, yeah, Crocodad Real. That would be insane. We got a full fucken bingo over here

But then we have all these details to considder;

We know Shakky quit being the Kuja Empress and a pirate 42 years ago, when she moved to Sabaody and opened her bar. We don't know why she did this move, especially because at this point Rayleigh should've still been adventuring with Roger's crew

At that point, Crocodile would've been 4 years old

Based on Baby Croc's art, he isn't wearing Kuja clothes. If he had been raised in Amazon Lily then surely he would've been wearing their clothes*, but if he moved to Sabaody with Shakky and was raised there, then his get-up would fit in just fine

The trivia books claim Crocodile is a Grand Line native; regardless of if he was raised in Amazon Lily or Sabaody, both would add up

*(To be fair, if Oda had drawn Baby Croc in Kuja Clothes, that would've been a MASSIVE SPOILER to drop in an SBS. And Film Z did go out of its way to NOT include Baby Croc in the credits when all the other Baby Shichibukai were, so like, Baby Croc's art isn't Absolute Lore or anything, it is subject to change)

Indeed, if Shakky had decided to move out of Amazon Lily and went to Sabaody specifically knowing that if Roger's crew ever passed by then that would make sense, since it would mean she'd have an increased chance at seeing her husband again (if only briefly). It would also make sense if she moved out with her child and/or because she had a child, since it'd make it easier for her to ensure her child and the father could maybe get to meet and spend time together, as staying on Amazon Lily would've meant Rayleigh wouldn't have been able to enter the town even if he DID swam all the way there. (Also her options would've been to either leave her child behind or bring the child with her, and if she didn't want the kid to grow up in Amazon Lily for whatever reason then this would've been the perfect opportunity to remove that child from the island)

If Crocodile grew up in Sabaody then it could explain things like Baby Croc's serious expression and how he has a gun; there are dangerous people in Sabaody, the kid would've had to learn to defend himself from a young age (and I'm sure Shakky would've been happy to teach her child how to fight, since the Kuja are fierce warriors and being powerful is beautiful etc). It would also explain Crocodile's racism towards Jinbei, since anti-Fishman racism is a common issue in Sabaody. He would also have grown up in a place where slavery and other shit is a commonly known and seen thing, as well as the crimes of the Tenryuubito. This would explain a lot about his general attitude towards the World Government

Also, if both of Crocodile's parents were pirates, and his dad also happened to literally be on the ship of the Pirate King... Yeah it would explain his career choises. And why he had gone to Roger's execution too, since that would've been not just the Greatest Pirate In The World, but also his father's captain

And if these two were Croc's parents, it could explain his title; he could be "Sir" Crocodile because he is the son of an empress, or it could be a fucked up abbreviation from Silvers (note: it doesn't work like that in Japanese, since "sir" is like "saa" while "silvers" is "shirubaasu", but that's why I said "fucked up abbreviation")

Either way, his fullname would then be Sir Silvers Crocodile

A fitting name for a silver medalist, is it not

I just. I hate how much sense this would make

Also I'll throw this out there; don't want to put too much money on the whole "they look similar" thing due to Oda's same face syndrome, but there is an argument to be made about Oda's fem!Croc looking quite similar to Shakky, while if you squint your eyes, a younger Rayleigh could kinda look a bit like regular Croc (they even have the same haircut, awe), though it's hard to judge since we have so little art of young Rayleigh and old Rayleigh is, well, visibly much older than Crocodile

Really the only things I can think of that COULD debunk the idea are that Crocodile is MUCH TALLER than either Rayleigh or Shakky, and his bloodtype doesn't match (the two are A/AB while Croc is O). And my normal instinct would be like "if they were related then surely these details would add up because Oda is insane", but also. They are minor details. IDK man

Also, Crocodile aside. Shakky and Rayleigh have known each other for a long ass time, and Rayleigh's tendency to sleep around, it is entirely possible the two could have had a child at some point. And that really would explain why Shakky quit being an Empress. Like it doesn't even have to be Crocodile, it would just make sense if they had a kid and if that kid became the reason to Shakky quitting. The question is, who could that child then be?? And what happened to them??

[mango-ti]

All the amazing deals that Americans are getting on mh dolls right now on black week on Amazon make me so fucking jealous, like y'all are getting like 50% off on so many dolls, meanwhile the only thing with a discount in Poland is the Clawdeen bedroom playset god fucking damnit

[aniimoni]

the zipper sheep plush is on amazon!

DAMNIT i was hoping it was from an independent artist 💔

but thank you esper, you’re a real one

[boxingcleverrr]

So with the mind-boggling hilarity of people feeling the need to defend taking care of their skin, I wanted to do an update of my original skincare post. That I of course can't find, presently, as the search function on this site is still useless!

First of all, come to terms with the fact that you are walking around with a giant organ on the outside of your body (ahurhurhur).

Yes, preventing skin cancer is priority one when it comes to your dermis. Sunscreen isn't the only defense, having skin with a healthy moisture barrier is part of that prevention as well. ALSO, one thing a lot of those posts desperately yelping "It'S nOt BeAuTy StAnDaRdS!" leave out is, uh, the scary shit that can happen to your skin when you're elderly. Your skin WILL get thinner, that's just aging. Taking care of it now (keeping it stretchy and moisturized) gives it a better chance of not being paper-thin, to the point that the person taking care of you has to be mindful not to freaking tear it off of you just helping you get dressed.

If you have a strong stomach, go ahead and read some stories from hospice and other types of elder care workers. There's a whole contraption for lowering people down slowly if they're about to fall, all to prevent skin splitting or sloughing off.

Age spots are beautiful. Care-worn wrinkles and laugh lines are beautiful. Your arm skin sloughing off like a glove is not.

Fucking moisturize.

Is a side effect of that care often fewer of those lines? Sure, MAYBE, sometimes. It also doesn't at ALL require 18 expensive steps. Even before I left my job I was mainly using the best I could find for the least amount of money. Almost everything listed I've been using for over a year at least! Aldi-brand skincare is amazingly quality, as you'll see.

Washing:

Lacura Foaming Gel Cleanser: Super gentle and nice for a daily face wash. When I want to use it as a makeup-remover, I'll pump it into a super-soft sea sponge so I can scrub a bit more, albeit gently.

I don't get big breakouts much at this point (regular cleansing and moisturizing will usually chill your skin out eventually re: feeling the need to over-produce oil). But I do keep some Neutrogena Face Wash around for when I get breakouts anywhere, maybe a handful of times a month.

I don't know how much benefit I REALLY see from toner, as far as my pores. They seem fine! Mostly I just loooove the feeling of swiping it on fresh from the fridge, and the coolness does calm down the skin and sooth any puffiness. I still make my own Rosewater Toner with wilting discount grocery store roses and a few drops of lavender oil.

Goops:

Lacura Day And/Or Night Creams: These are SO AFFORDABLE (I'm using Amazon links for ease of reference, they are WAY cheaper directly from Aldi) and make your skin feel like butter. After washing and toning one or the other is what I glop on next, and a little goes a long way. Night cream is important because the skin under your eyes especially is so super thin, it needs that protection as we get older. But eye creams tend to be STUPID EXPENSIVE. Lacura is around $4 at Aldi and I legit see very little difference between it and the unsustainably expensive ones I've tried in the past.

Ponds Dry Skin Cream: The old reliable. I have used it since I was 19 and Oprah said it was good, lol. If you use nothing else on your face, use this (but also sunscreeen, dear gods). After Day or Night cream, this comes next.

A good rule of thumb for all moisturizers is that you don't want it to disappear into your skin immediately OR stay too greasy. As I've gotten older, this one sits on my skin longer, so I tend to only use it at night in the summer. Once it gets cold and dry out, though, morning and night baby.

Vaseline Cocoa Radiant: For the all-over-rest-of-me, you really can't beat it. After every shower or bath, all over everything, damnit. LUBE YOUR DERM.

Oil:

Olive Oil Squalane: My last step of the night is topping my face with a good Squalane before bed. My old job discontinued the one I swear by, pictured above, which, I have no idea why? It feels soooo nice and I saw such good results in the winter especially. I bought up a bunch of bottles from work before it disappeared, haha but there are soooo many options out there for a lot of different prices. Basically you want the main ingredients to be Olive Oil & Herbs, usually Rosemary.

Treat Yourself Tier:

Innersense Harmonic Treatment Oil: I was given a gift card to them for my birthday last year, and yeah they're reeeeeally wom-wom and a little insufferable in their marketing, and they're expensive. HOWEVER, this stuff is infuriatingly great? Nothing was helping my dry scalp until this. I use it instead of the Squalane maybe once a week on my face as well, and it definitely clears up any redness or irritation right away. How dare it be good and also $25 an ounce. But if you can treat yourself, why not!

Dead Sea Mud Masks: Masks are FUN, damnit. If you can ignore all the annoying "detoxing" claims and blah blah, it is a fact that mud masks can really flush out those pores. And they feel nice!

General Habits:

Wash Your Pillowcases: They're full of your face goo, skin cells, and slobber. Not only good for your skin, but just nice. Wash your sheets/bedding more regularly in general, if you're like me then I know you're not doing it enough. Make the change to fragrance-free detergent now if you haven't already, that shit could start bothering your skin at ANY time. My mother never had a problem with good ol' Tide, until she turned 60 and suddenly ANY fragranced soaps made her skin explode.

Wash Your Makeup Tools: Same as above, I regularly gross myself out watching all the GUNK that's stored in the pretty pink makeup brushes.

Wash Hats, Headbands, Etc: Hopefully the pattern is sinking in. If it touches your skin regularly? It should be washed regularly. It's easy to remember that your clothes do, of course, but there's so many other things as well that are fulla your skin cells, various products, pollution, and sebum. Scientists could probably clone you with access to the inner band of your favorite hat alone.

SUN SCREEN: EVERY TIME YOU GO OUT IN VIEW OF THE FIRE ORB. Sensitive face/skin? Baby sunscreen. I know texture is a big thing for people, but there are lots of different brands out there that have lots of different textures, ingredients, scents, etc. Don't give up on it just because Coppertone makes you break out, you owe it to yourself to find the thing that works for you. Skin cancer is a bitch that spares no one, not even Hugh Nicest Man Ever Jackman.

Drink Water: You know it, I know it, same as above, find the way to get regular hydration in that works for you. I personally like making my own fruity flavored syrups to dash in things. Hydrated skin begins from within, blah blah blah.

Vitamins: Take a multi-vitamin, get your vitamin D. The sun is not BEAMING VITAMINS INTO YOUR PORES, it synthesis it. A quick google will tell you that 8-10 minutes in the sun A DAY is all you need. So don't let anyone tell you BUT YOUR VITAMIN D!!!!!!! when you're layering on your sun screen. Take your vitamins, get a teaspoon of sun regularly, and then GOOP UP.

I'm no expert, just someone with a mother & grandmother who greatly regret/regretted their lack of skin care as younger women. My mom is 75 and she has lines and spots, and she's beautiful! But her skin can tear after a clumsy trip into a door frame. She's listening to her dermatologist now to the letter, and I too would like to avoid that as much as possible! We all deserve to like how our spongy flesh prisons feel.

[probablyevilrpgideas]

I am incredibly disappointed that, after killing Gortash and Karlach begins to doom spiral, "pull her into a tight hug and refuse to let go, even as her engine heats up" was not an option for response.

The manic doomed amazon girl needs hugs and the knowledge that at least one person will not abandon her if they can help it. Let me hug her and weather her engine heat until she understands I'm sticking around, damnit!

Oh, also I'm on a Dark Urge playthrough so "we'll just have to be doomed together" should also be an option.

[madmanwonder]

Prompt

Crossover au

My hero academia x dc

Cheetah x Izuku midoriya x hippolyta

Meme: marry me dammit.

Izuku runs into an alley, and there he sees hippolyta and barbara in wedding dresses. He hears a bunch of stumps behind him, and there, blocking his exit, sees a familiar group of villainesses and amazons in wedding dresses. He has to choose between marriage with the women in front of him, or behind him... there's no in-between.

Izuku was running down the damp, dirty alleyway to escape from his pursuers who chase after him with amorous intent that left him pale in fear and horror.

He felt a small dose of hope...which was dash when he reach the end of the alleyway and he saw Hippolyta and Cheetah, both dressed in beautiful wedding dresses, holding a huge bouquet of flowers in thier flowers.

Hippolyta/Cheetah: MARRY US DAMNIT!

The Ninth Holder of One for All hears a bunch of stumps behind him, and there, blocking his exit, sees a familiar group of villainesses and amazons in wedding dresses. He has to choose between marriage with the women in front of him, or behind him… there's no in-between.

[nosyrobin]

“Mission accomplished.”

||Pair: Supersons x Wonderboy!reader||

Genre: Fluff, Drabble

Wonderboy!reader trying to fly alone for a patrol, he’s flying with his hair flowing in the wind as he looks down to the ground. “Damnit..I swear there was a sighting here..” reader clicks his tongue in distaste, stopping his flying to just float in the air. As the Amazon male goes to turn around, he pauses seeing a certain boy wonder and kryptonian. Reader groans annoyed as Damian crosses his arms in his Robin costume. “Prince.” “Damian.” Reader says back. “Y/N…” Jon frowns with a sadden look while holding up Damian.

“Can I at least try and fly solo?” Reader says rhetorically, he crosses his arms over the W on his armored chest. “No.” “I wasn’t asking Damian.” The Amazon starts to take flight, Damian narrowed his eyes while Jon flys towards the Amazon male. “Hey..can’t we just go relax? Maybe rest?” Jon tries to suggest. “There’s nothing to bust, no goons, no villains. Nothing.”

“….bro. I don’t care.” Reader says before still flying away. Jon looks down at the boy wonder in his arms. “You leave me no choice Prince.” Damian says with a serious tone. Reader looks at Damian with a raised brow, pausing his flying to stay in the air. “Oh?”

Reader smirks, a face that clearly says “try me.” Jon then throws Damian like a cat at the Amazon male. Damian had a crazy grin as reader screams and immediately catches Damian. Damian snaked his arms around the Amazon’s neck, his legs wrapping around the waist of reader. “What the fuck?! That was dumb, what if I didn’t catch you?!” Jon smiled while Damian still had that crazy grin on his face.

“You caught me, didn’t you Prince?” Reader rolled his eyes and floated towards Jon, Jon held his arms out for Damian, only for the male to not unwrap his limbs around the muscular Amazon. Jon drops his arms only for reader to grab Jon’s arm. “Let’s go home.” Reader says, already tired of these two shenanigans.

Jon smiles along with Damian having a batsmirk on his face.

Mission get Wonderboy to come back home: accomplish.