#damn u will never guess who ill draw next!!!

[imlostinmy20s]

hey tf2 tumblr, how are u feeling today?

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: epilogue Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, heavy mentions of abortion, and brief mentions of trauma

notes:

we’ve finally reached it guys! the end :”> this story has been one of the things i’m very much proud of. From this chapter onwards, it’s all just fluff and well Atsumu and Y/N content. thank you for sticking around despite the slow burns and see you on the side stories and the drabbles. ill be accepting eight drabbles for this story and it’ll be open after all the side stories are complete, uwu.

previous    masterlist  [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]

“...I wonder how you put them to bed.”

“They usually sleep immediately after I give them a glass of milk.” You blinked, looking up from your paperwork, “Did they give you a hard time again?”

“They chunked a pillow at me and that started a pillow fight.”

Soft laughter filled the room and Atsumu felt his heart soften at the sound of that, such a beautiful laugh you had. 

It’s been a year since that confrontation but it feels so surreal whenever he wakes up to see you lying next to him, snuggled on his chest or the kids suddenly barging into the room to catapult themselves to bed with you two.

Him, you, children. 

A family.

“Are you not going to sleep yet?”

“No,” You breathed, shifting through paper works,“I have to finish this if I want to watch your game next week.”

“Can I lay on your lap then?”

“We have a very big bed.” You deadpanned, you were still stoic and blank as ever but comparing to before, you were more open to him with your emotions and thoughts. Albeit, he didn’t know much about why you ran away -  Daiki says to give you some time -  or what happened with your family, he doesn’t mind because he promised he’d wait and be patient with you. 

Atsumu even suggests that if you can’t talk to him about it, he’d willingly look for good psychiatrists around the area to help with your trauma. The sessions seem to be going well so far, albeit it was slow, you were finally taking the proper steps to heal.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Atsumu grinned childishly and situated himself on your lap. Unknowingly, you’d start playing with his hair. He suddenly feels like he’s about to doze off by the domestic gesture and the familiar sound of your breathing but he is immediately awoken by the small voice of yours.

“Do you want to know why I never introduced you to my family?” you suddenly asked, his eyes slowly turned towards you yet you continue to play with his hair nonchalantly as if you weren’t talking about a heavy topic, “Our situation was a lot like my parents. I was born when my okaasan was in the middle of studying medicine and my otosan was a law student.”

Atsumu remains quiet as he listens to your story.

“They were both from very rich families with promising futures, they dated, they were happy until I happened…” You paused, continuing to play with his hair, “Okaasan wasn’t able to finish her course and she got depressed because of that, her family had turned her back on her. So she begged otosan to marry her even if he didn’t want to so that she could finish her degree and return to her family.”

You continue your story; telling him everything about how your father fell out of love with your mother, how scared you were of your mother growing up, how she quit being a doctor because she was an alcoholic and almost sued for drinking on the job, and how you came to the realization that you weren’t supposed to be born when you were only eight years old, “...that night we met at the frat party was the day of my otosan’s wedding to his mistress, they had called out how the previous wedding and me was a mistake as a joke but it still kind of stinged.” You confessed, “I didn’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t met you that night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, comforting even and it made you smile because despite his rather loud attitude, he understood you very well and was very patient with you.

He’s empathetic and it makes you wonder why you even ran away in the first place, maybe Daiki was right that night seven years ago, maybe you should’ve told him and stayed with him.

“Whenever I was with you back then, you didn’t make me feel that way so I didn’t want to spoil it or destroy that feeling. I didn’t want you to see me in that light.” You divulged, recalling the memories you had with him, “I felt like I was supposed to be there with you. You were a reminder that it was alright to be alive. That I wasn’t a mistake.”

Comfortable silence fills the air as he takes it all in.

Atsumu takes a hold of your hand that’s playing with his hair and gives it a comforting peck, “Was that also why you couldn’t tell me back then that you were pregnant?”

“You were being scouted for the jackals that time and I was scared we’d end up like my parents because I disrupted your dreams.” You ran your hands through his hair again, playing with the blonde strands, “I didn’t want the kids yet at the same time I couldn’t abort them because they were yours.It was very confusing.” 

“Would you...Would you have pushed through with it? With the abortion?”

“Probably.” you blinked, recalling that moment you were at the clinic,you recalled the feeling of nervousness as you waited for them to call your name,  “With the past I had, I doubt I would’ve made a good mother. Would you have hated me if I had done it?”

“No. I don’t think I would.I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love those brats, I love this family but at the end of the day, it would’ve been your choice.” He replies softly, drawing small circles on your hands, “It would’ve been better if you went up to me and told me though, at least I would’ve been there.”

“Well, in the end, I didn’t push through. I couldn’t do it. They were yours as much as they were mine and I couldn’t let that go after breaking off with you.” you paused, “I also told myself that they’d never feel that way, that they’d never feel as if they were born out of a mistake.”

“And you did a damn good job at it.” He complimented, “You placed your own okaasan to shame.” 

“You placed my otosan to shame too…” You smiled softly, suddenly a question popped in your head, you might as well ask it now since the timing seemed to be better than ever, “Would you like to get married?”

Atsumu’s eyes immediately widen at what you said and he sits up, “What the hell, Y/N? I should be the one asking that!” He loudly exclaims and you cover his mouth to muffle his voice.

“The kids are asleep.” You choke back a laughter, shushing him, “And I think it should be me the one who should ask for your hand, after all the shit I put you through-”

The blonde setter takes your hands off his mouth and cuts you off, “First of all, that was my choice. Second of all, how many times do I have to tell you that we were both at fault there? We’re doing a damn good job now. Mind you,” he immediately scrambles out of the bed right after before you could say anything else and looks through his sock dresser, he takes out a small box and your eyes widen, is that what you thought it was?

“I was supposed to give it to you when I officially got in the jackals back then.” Atsumu sheepishly confessed, “I couldn’t throw it away after you left, it was the little hope I guess that you’d come back. I mean, I’ll get you a new one now since i got-”

“I didn’t think you were the sappy type.” You glazed, cutting him off, completely enamored by the gesture, “You’re very cheesy.”

“Only to you.”

You scrunch your nose, faking a disgusted look but Atsumu knows better than that and just crawls back in your arms and gives you a chaste kiss on the lips that you reciprocate almost immediately. It’s slow, languid, and passionate. Something people wouldn’t expect from someone like him.

“Don’t bother buying a new one, I think I like this one better.” You smiled, pulling away as you hold out your hand in which he happily puts on the simple band. He looks into your eyes again, the eyes he loved looking at since he was nineteen. The eyes that were filled with so much emotion that it always contrasted your face that was void of emotions. The same eyes that he dreamed his kids (and they did) to have when he asked you that one night if you wanted to have a family.

“I’m in love with you.” you break the silence.

You never said those words out loud before to him but hearing it now, after all that you’ve both been through. It’s worth it.

He’d do it all again just to be in this moment.

“I’m very much in love with you too.” He grins, leaning back in for another kiss.

Finally…

Finally he was able to catch up with you.

taglist [officially closed, if you guys want to be removed for the side stories, feel free to tell me hehe ilyasm and thank you once again, coward wouldn’t be possible without all you people + other readers]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ;  @svtbitch  ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff  ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046  ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft ; @tspice283 ; @ohshirabu ; @syzygymai ; @volleybloop ; @oikaw-ugh​ ; @pockytokyo ;  @differentballooncollection​ ;  @keniloveshaikyuu ; @turquoiselace​ ; @playboygeniusphilanthropist​ ;   @keijislut​​ ; 

@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @allysasteaparty   @mikaashi  @brownie0food @ph10xy  @Chocolaterumble [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

what’s the issue with elisop? is it just bc you hc aesop as ace? im so concerned by seeing ppl adamantly opposed to mlm/wlw ships but im also genuinely curious about why you dislike it and other lgbt ships so much lol

hmm. that is a strong accusation, n i find it just a bit odd. are you new here? or perhaps you are taking personal offense at my dislike towards a favourite ship of yours and using the lgbt argument as moral high ground?

whatever the case may be, i thank you for asking. if u r truly looking for an answer, its below the cut n it is very very long. mind u these are all my personal opinions n i am in no way policing how others enjoy ships. just in case this wasnt clear; i dont wish to start discourse on this blog, especially since my takes are probably... unpopular.

firstly i would like to address the “disliking lgbt ships” bit, because this has very strong implications in itself. i have nothing against lgbt ships. i enjoy them, even. if the two characters have chemistry between each other, i ship it. however, the moment characterization is broken for the sake of romance, i lose interest. this is generally my stance on ships in general, n this applies for both straight n lgbt ships. 

the ships themselves are fine. however, i do have issues with the ship dynamics, so ill let u in on that.

i want to touch on mlm ships in particular; i believe u are familiar with the top/bottom dynamic that is rampant in these kinds of ships? (i wont deny that this dynamic can be found in other types of ships, but for arguments sake i will be focusing on gay ships because i feel that this occurs more commonly here) its such a popular dynamic that is prone to stripping the personality from one if not both characters, only for them to be reduced to being dominant/submissive. for a character to be pigeonholed into a stereotypical category based on... preferred sexual positions? its just downright insulting, never mind the larger more problematic implications of it. top/bottom is not indicative of someones personality, by the way. flattening multi dimensional characters into these stereotypes is so so so insulting.

unfortunately this is The Most Popular portrayal of just about any gay ship around. ive seen it being used everywhere in so many fandoms n it just about becomes apparent to me that ppl come to stories looking for a Ship. not the stories, nor the characters, just a ship. while id like to say theres nothing wrong with that, keep in mind not everyone is just looking for 2 characters that look pretty next to each other. if i ship something, i see interesting n meaningful interactions between 2 characters, which is so often not the case once u bring in the top/bottom dynamic. why is it so popular? because somehow this is what ppl like from a gay ship n hence it sells. ppl want the drama, characterizations be damned. ppl want to see the big kiss that happens in the end, n maybe the sexy parts that come after. characterizations be damned.

so u can say im a little wary of gay ships when they cross my feed. hell, as a joseph aesop shipper i see this trope everywhere n im pretty disappointed as well. small tangent but i feel like this is the reason why zh0ngli n ch1lde is so popular in g3nshin. i try to see the appeal, i really do, but after a long while of analyzing their respective characters i dont think they have as much chemistry as ppl think they do. dont even get me started on how incredibly ooc they make either of these very interesting n unique characters in ship portrayals. all because of the top/bottom dynamic that ppl want to see. i say this for that particular ship, but this is pretty much the case for a lot of ships out there, n the latter part is painfully true even when the 2 characters do have potential between each other. ill say it again im disgusted by the blatant disrespect to the characterizations if all ppl ever want is 2 pretty puppets to mush lips together. cos thats what theyre essentially reduced to this way.

n its so obvious to see when an artist subscribes to this rhetoric, because u can so clearly see it in the way they draw their characters. the “top” generally has sharper features to go with their “dominating personality”, while the “bottom” has disturbingly softer, feminine, dare i say sometimes child like features “to submit”. n thats where the uwu soft gay trope comes from, i believe. which, in case u still dont know, i hate with a burning passion.

so again for ppl with impaired reading comprehension, im fine with ships, including lgbt ones, but the moment u break characterization for the sake of the ship, im not that okay with it. u want to do it for a short crack comic? fine. but if thats the only way ur portraying the 2 characters then im immediately wary of ur content. ill still look at it cos usually the art is really good, but im very very wary. so im not “adamantly opposed”, just very critical of how the ships are being portrayed. if other ppl want to enjoy their ships like that, sure. just dont expect me to join in on something i dont agree on.

.

now id like to address not shipping “because i hc aesop as ace”. for ppl who are new to the blog (hello there), im an ace in a romantic relationship, so thats definitely not the reason i dont ship elisop. its more of being in a relationship has largely shaped my views towards romance as a whole. even before i met my boyfriend, i hated the romance genre in stories n media. most of it comes off as incredibly forced, especially those love triangles they seem to love putting into teen novels. thats one reason why i stopped reading when i was younger, but i digress.

did i partake in shipping when i was younger? i did. for a gay ship too (if anyone really wants to know, its kurotsukki from haikyuu. at least this was one that i can remember, i was mostly working on my 20 odd ocs for the longest time). i also used to write little short romance ficlets that i never posted anywhere cos i hated (n still do hate) my writing. but writing romance when u dont have experience was really just a way of projecting n probably a way of coping for myself, not that i knew at that time. but after i actually started a relationship with my boyfriend (whom i love n cherish a lot thank u very much), i began to see how much all these have skewed my views towards romance n have actually done some harm to our relationship. the bullshit that the general media feeds u constantly doesnt help in the slightest either.

quick topic shift to elisop in particular (about time, right?). i already stated that i only ship characters if i sense chemistry between the two personalities, n if u have seen the part where i dont ship elisop then u must have seen how agonized i am over not being able to have a concrete personality for eli. that is the main problem i have with elisop: eli does not feel like a solid character to me. n that is a huge problem, because if he doesnt have any defining characteristics besides being mild n nice, then he can be whoever i want him to be. (i have done this in my exorcist comics, i will admit this. n the fact that i can just do that... it really does not sit well with me personally.)

n that is dangerous.

back to young me doing lil ship things. i think its also pretty safe to say when u really do ship 2 characters, chances are u kinda really relate very very hard to at least one of them. that very quickly can turn into projecting, n shipping therefore is not “exploring the relationship between 2 characters” n it becomes “my preferred dating simulator 101″. of course this isnt always the case, but at least it was for me, n subconsciously it might be for lots of ppl too. n since this is ur mental playground, u call the shots, n there is no consequences if u slightly (or even entirely) alter one or both personalities to fit ur desired narrative. n u wouldnt even notice or know, cos ur blind to ur own biasness.

we bring our perceived notions into real life, im sure u know that. so when ur partner does not become that perfect knight in shining armour, or when they get upset at things that u do (which is a very normal thing by the way), n u think (very subconsciously), That isnt what my otp would do, something is wrong here (nothing is wrong, actually its just ur skewed perception of a stable romantic relationship). why wouldnt ur otp do this? because u are both halves of ur otps, there is no hidden secrets between them (apart from the pining part but thats irrelevant), n again they have been altered to fit ur preferred narrative. 

a real relationship requires a lot of communication between parties, because newsflash, liking someone doesnt mean that u have to like every single thing they do, they will make mistakes n it will hurt u, n guess what, the reverse is also true. if u do go with absoutely anything that they would do with 0 objections whatsoever, ur not crushing on someone, ur idolizing them, n that power imbalance is detrimental to a relationship. these things are not obvious to ppl, especially when the whole climate is hell bent on getting into romantic relationships by a certain age or some bullshit. communication is key n is pretty much the only way to solve relationship issues, because the other person has a lot that u r not seeing n vice versa. as similar as 2 ppl can be, i doubt u can have 100% the same thoughts on all things. i dont make the rules.

so in ur mental playground u focus on the fluffy parts, maybe there is communication, but rarely is there any meaningful conflict. thats unrealistic, n if u bring that mindset to an actual relationship, thats not going to end well. i say meaningful conflict, because yes, generally u shouldnt have conflicts with ur significant other. but inevitably when ur with each other for long enough, u will realize that there are habits that u must change in order to be with the other person. habits that are harmful to the other person directly, or harmful habits towards yourself that indirectly harm the other person. these are meaningful in a sense that if left alone, it will manifest into larger problems that will harm u, the other person n the relationship as a whole. its meaningful to the relationship.

all these is made even worse if ur neurodivergent. maladaptive coping practices, self sabotaging behaviours, inherent disabilities. all these must be adjusted n addressed. im so incredibly thankful for my boyfriend for being incredibly patient with me when working all these out, n it has not been easy for me to work on myself n all my problems, n im still not done working on them. this aspect is often not explored in romance in general (or properly), n there is a very good chance i would have still been stuck in the unhealthy mindset of “this isnt like my otp, maybe we’re not meant to be”. because loving someone is a choice. no one is made for each other, it is a conscious choice made between 2 ppl to make things work. this is how arranged marriages work, i am told, n i do see the appeal, not that it actually does appeal to me culturally.

special mention to the kurotsukki ship, cos from there i found a very, very good fic that explored their relationship before n after getting together, n it actually showed aspects of this problem in the incredibly slow burn of (at that time) 20+ chapters. it was just one fic (n a very good one at that, i believe it was called Leviticus), but it had a lesson i never thought i needed to learn, n learn it i did, with a lot of help from my dear. 

this is also probably the reason why i dont really want to delve too much into romance now. i know its a lot of work, n everything (mostly) that the media feeds u is really false advertising, but ppl eat that shit up n so it remains one of the most popular genres to date. im just very wary that if i do start on a romantic story, i want to be able to show it in a way like that fic did, the truths of relationships, because i dont want to make something that sells, i want to make something that meaningful to me, if a little indulgent. n that also includes being very careful in how the respective characterizations will change in a relationship. almost too careful now that i think about it, but its not something that i mind. i was never one for romance from the start, n now im very careful about shipping because of what happened to me persoanlly.

okay enough about me, lets talk about aesop. in any au u put the character in, the essence of the character must remain despite the change in environment. so lets say we have ur typical modern au. dead mom, check. shitty mentor doing illegal stuff? also check. autistic boy with social anxiety? we’re good to go. all these have implications on aesop as a character, n while ppl are aware of this, again the way they go about portraying it can go, in my personal opinion, very wrong. ppl who immediately woobify aesop completely because he has autism annoy me. ppl who reduce him to uwu soft boi cos he has social anxiety do not know how the disorder really works n as someone who has that i hate it to the core. ppl who do all these for the sake of ship have lost my respect. its insulting.

remember the top/bottom dynamic? not that elisop is completely free from that (even if i dont know much about eli, to put him in either one of those stereotypes feels very insulting to his character. i wont even say anything about doing it to aesop its so upsetting), but its not entirely made up of either. but now i want to introduce another trope i am very wary of, which is “i can fix him”. im sure u guys have seen the meme going around poking fun at this trope (for those who havent, its along the lines of “u can fix him? well i can be his worst nightmare”) n no doubt yall would have seen it n gotten sick of it in some forced hetero romantic bullshit. we have one damsel in distress with a saviour that solves all their problems just by existing n being romo with each other.

remember “my preferred dating simulator 101″? this is not mutually exclusive n from my point of view this is dangerously close to this trope. lets be real, if it was actually a thing that all ur deep rooted trauma magically disappears if someone were to waltz into ur life, we would want it. definitely. no painfully dissecting ur own problems n constantly facing them head on. real life states that this is not the case, but it will not stop us from dreaming. n so this trope is born n lives n will go on.

(finally) pulling aesop n eli into this, at least in my mind, u have one severely traumatized boy with lots of issues n u have this. nice mild guy who can be anything u want him to be. i hope u can see where im going with this, n thats the direction i see some elisop heading towards (i dont read a lot of elisop to be fair). if u came from my eli character talk, i mentioned that it is incredibly one sided. this is exactly what im talking about.

putting it all together in case u havent already, aesop is the damsel in distress, whose problems magically disappear because of elis godly kindness n little to no work on improving himself, n they lived happily n gayly ever after.

can u tell how much that does not appeal to me. 

never mind the butchering of character that inevitably happens somewhere somehow, the unrealistically perfect themes n implications of this trope makes me so viscerally uncomfortable. this is, of course, due to personal reasons, n i definitely see the appeal of this dynamic because i would probably have been interested in this once upon a time as well. but as i am now, with everything i have explained up there n everything i have been through, i would politely rather not.

n its difficult to think of another dynamic, because of how little i know about eli apart from him being this saint, which easily makes him a candidate for being aesops trauma panacea. never mind aesop rarely, if ever, does anything for eli as a character in return, n its so damaging to buy into this rhetoric, where a person like this who would solve all ur issues no strings attached exists somewhere in the world. they really dont. a relationship has to be mutually benefitting, or it will be draining n disastrous. maybe u say, Oh its nice to imagine it once in a while. n yeah, i agree, except once in a while is a little difficult to keep track of n that is sort of what happened to me. id rather stay as far away as possible from this kind of unrealistic fantasy, i just got this shit sorted out with myself n my boyfriend.

i have some other reasons, but theyre more personally problematic, so i wont go into them here. but this is mostly n generally why i do not ship elisop romantically. if u do, u do u, and have fun, but again dont expect me to join u. thank u for coming to my ted talk, this took a lot longer than expected.

[anestheticrage]

Be me: Japanese honor student🎓, 15, with half a brain and even less of a plan. Hunting bitches by day and witches by night. Livin that dank only child✌️ life while mom n dad yeet all over the globe, leavin me plenty of time to forget not to make 2 lunches for myself #quirky 😜

no time for socialization or basic electronics skills ???📱??? when your best friends are an alien demon rabbit🐰���� and the inexplicable Hole ™ in your brain. lmao, btw did i mention im ✨M✨A✨G✨I✨C✨A✨L✨

dreamin bout my 2D waifus again when familiar pink haired cancer patient dances through my brain passin out fliers: Kamihama Meguca Dating Service: Sponsored by Cult of the Magius. 250 stones per session 🤔

seems legit, Mr. Moneybags. wasn't spending my unwieldy sack of gemstones on anything else anyway. lets pull 💎💎💎

first up we have Redhead Radagast and her plethora of plants. 🌿☺️🦎

anndd, nearly dies immediately. 

well not off to a great start but i guess shes pretty cute at lea- oh FUCK its her girlfriend, Tsundere Poseidon😒🔱💦, and their exasperated, straight and single Sword Mom 😔🗡️🔥. fml gonna have to save up for the next pull. might as well play a few rounds with what i got tho. 

get in some good girl talk about things like school, color coded hair styles, body count, permanent soul damage, and our personal demon pacts. ya know, the usual 😚 . realize my dark backstory seems to be missing, so the girls take me to Ketchup Queen Sappho 🍅🥧 (wtf?) to molest my glowy egg stone. whatevs, more action than ive had since Kuroe 🖤 got added to the story anyway

the gang agrees it's time to hunt down the cutest rabbit pimp 🕶️🐇💵 in the city. >> say 🎵mukyuuu🎵 one more time and ill hug you so hard my backstory will pop right out, you adorable fluffy bastard. plz be my new best friend 💕

Form brand new friendship pact with Kyubae, and remember that my lil Sis 🐥 was always the best wingman for pickin up magic chicks, and kept her side of the room so spotless i forgot she existed. whoops 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ Maybe if I find her i can stop paying these exorbitant pull fees.📵💎

speaking of which: hot damn this week's featured bachelorette is a 19 year old model and magical detective🔎 with massive levels of PTSD and self loathing 🥵💙💦 more likely to stab you or dramatically jump off a rooftoop than utter a single positive comment. wow, maybe i really COULD find true love…

... if i had MORE THAN A 1% FUCKING DRAW CHANCE. 😡 smh

hard to make much progress finding sis or winning the broken heart of a hard boiled detective amidst the never ending lover's quarrel of the Trident Vine Lesbians. 💔 Sword Mom tells them if they don't behave a monster will take them away. LOL classic mom 🤣

>>>HOLY FUCK IT DID

declare all-out war on urban legends, starting with staircases ⚔️ to reunite the dysfunctional trio, and hope that I net a way better lineup with the next 10x pull. at least sad sleuth lady came to help out. they say combat is the best way to bond wi-   and there she goes off the rooftop again 🙄 fml

alright that got way off track, we need a fresh start, away from all the loli drama. how bout a little B&E🔓🔨🤷🏻‍♀️ at the local house of worship to clear my head. ahh nothing like the unanswered prayers of the masses to get you in the mood for another wasted pull, and the 🔥 MIGHTIEST 🔥 headache you could ask for with a side of Double Cooked Pork 🐖🍜 (meh 5/10🧾)

venture forth into the spiritual unknown with your new human flamethrower🔥🌻🧡 and ask your favorite private eye to please, for the love of Eve, trade Meguca accounts with me~~~ Head through the eastern spirit portal to meet up with hologram propaganda sis and detective crush's evil ex, who joined a dating-app cult (#fuck) and also turned into the moon?🌕?(that's rough buddy)

get ambushed by Acid Horse on Wheels 🌈🐴 and vomit up my soul so hard that its time for a crossover episode. T U R F F F   W A R R R *que operatic harmonies* 💛 Blondie with the hair drills and enough attitude and guns to fill up a noble phantasm tries to ban my account permanently, but PI heartthrob denies her admin privileges. aww babe i didn't know you cared. 😭♥️

get kidnapped by my new true love and go back to her place 😏  defs enough empty rooms to house five emotionally traumatized girls and at least two ghosts hehehe👻 XD 💚🃏💜🎸 decide to form the anti-gossip brigade and recruit my blazing sunflower after getting ambushed by the witch living in my fruit loops🥣

❌outvoted 2:1 that cults are bad. mf. fiinneee one last pull to round out the team and then I'll delete the app. cmonnn Karin 🎃~

OH HELL YEAH TWO FOR ONE.

Always wanted a daughter 💜🔨🐄 with a penchant for pissing off the local Martial Arts & Books Club and drinking suspicious liquids offered by total strangers. Well if it's good enough for her AND the sexy mayadere with enough game to seduce a mermaid, might as well get in on that myself. 

#curseddrank 🤢 0/24 would not recommend to a friend, 'cept maybe Ria

win alot of cash 🤑, blow up a fountain, meet the pied piper²🎶🖕, moon cult, monochrome feathers, something about liberation✊🏻; adopt temper tantrum cow girl. aces 💜🥩

Next up!!! skydiving with DJ Hammer! Jump to apparently-not-certain death after suicidal A.I. 💚💾🗼 tells you to rescue her hostage before they run out of Radiohead albums and have to move on to Thom Yorke's solo discography. save the invisible shield kitten 💚👑😿 from happiness and get chased through the internet by the sexiest homicidal Paint Pallette 💚🎨😈 since Caravaggio. (apparently green is the color of the digital apocalypse. i’m deleting Kako from my friend's list)

that’s it, fuck this app. 250 stones 💎 per-life-threatening-experience is more than i’m willing to deal with 😓 don’t wanna mess with the perfect nuclear family anyway. we've already got: 

✔️the two emotionally traumatized moms with memory and commitment issues

✔️the adhd daughter with anger management problems and a giant hammer

✔️the psychologically abused scizophrenic cat

✔️and the eccentric aunt with crippling anxiety

#squadgoals

now that were done hoarding bitches, its time to hunt the witches. and the bitches makin the witches. btw did i mention the witches ARE the bitches! AND WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!? 📽️⁉️💀 wait fuck lets back up a second

This is Nemo📕 and Token🧪 and they have all the answers but prefer if you only ask vague questions in exchange for vague responses so they can fill in the rest by discussing their superior intellect 🧠 at length. not to mention they built that dating app, so of course everyone in my harem decides to be a FUCKING. TRAITOR.🤬

cept waifu prime ofc 🥰💙. [PTSD > brainwashing] 'yOu CaN bE tHe LeAdEr NoW'. i have been from the very beginning you traumatized Hinedere nightmare. maybe if you weren't so caught up collecting surrogate daughters you would've noticed IM👏THE👏ONLY👏 ONE👏PROGRESSING👏THE FUCKING👏PLOT✨

rescue the rest of dysfunctional found-family™ from selves before my adorable firebender burns down Disnihama🎡🔥😱 during her weekly anxiety attack. (love the makeover T B H) 

CHAPTER 8: Magical Girl Massacre🩸🗡️

   - everyone has like, the shittiest day ever

   - the new Pope really needs to be extradited from the church

   - make friends with a really pretty tree 🌺🌲✨

i swear, if i don't finish this god damn story in time to get that free pull im gonna beat the shit out of every mirror i find in that giant mansion that i haven't even had any time to even mention yet. 🖕🏚️ let alone EVERYTHING happening with the prequel [fuck you, I'm the star] girls 💗💜💙💛❤️️ and their multidimensional melodrama. We don't need that many repetitive af episodes to emphasize that Homo-ra is a shitty person. we've all seen Rebellion. 🙄

NO, I DONT CARE IF YOU WANT SAPPHO'S BACKSTORY, I ONLY HAVE 79 STONES LEFT AND IF YACHAN FINDS OUT I HAVEN'T DELETED THE APP YET IM GONNA HAVE TO GO SLEEP IN WITH SANA 😭💎💸😠

uhhhggggg where were we… Topple a cult and burn down Hotel Denoument only to realize that Sis was fused with the dating app servers this entire madokafuckin time (told ya she was the best wingman 😊). 

Dilemma: Sis =🥚, Triumvirate of Trouble want 🐣. What do? vote now:

Help Hatch - IIIIIII

Not Do That - IIIII

What The Actual Fuck Is Going On - IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Lets just fight everyone until something good happens.

🔥🔫🔥🗡️🔥😱🔥🌆🔥😱🔥🛡️🔥💣🔥

Kill (???) the artist-in-chief of the italian reindeer murder police after teaching her the true meaning of Christmas 🎄 hatch 🐣lil Sis and realize she WAS your wingman all along🐰 MUKYUUUU! we're just gonna ignore how much trouble it would have saved if you'd just mentioned that. "yOu DiDnT aSk..." 

FUCK YOU SPACE BITCH. ONCE AN INCUBATOR ALWAYS AN INCUBATOR 🖕🐇🔪

anywho, somewhere along the lines we of course summoned the Antichrist ⚙️ because why not raise the stakes to max and still not kill off a single character. Madofuckinkami, can we PLEASE wrap this up. 😩💤

feathers (not the culty kind, tfm) rain from the sky, and the power of friendship and not having the Urobutcher 🔪🩸as a lead writer saves our peacefully sectioned off alternate reality 😇

TL:DR fuck cults, real life waifus DO exist, don't sell your soul to space rabbits, or your stones to megacorporations. Enjoy arc 2 on the JP server with your shitty translation patch you filthy fuckin weebs 

Yours Truly, 

- Thirsty Weeb Eroha 💗💎😘 

[catharrington]

12 and 128 with billy and Steve?

Y’all really really do be trying me with this domestic stuff. I’m so sorry but I just don’t write mpreg so I’m changing it up a little. I was playing around with tags on this post and @thinger-strang asked where’s the meat?? Here it is bae!! Dedicated to U ;)

***

12- “I’m pregnant.” && 128- “Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.”

Steve has never been to a gym before, really never wanted to. He has always played sports. Outside! In the sunlight and fresh air, not inside a stuffy box crammed with sweating dude bros who didn’t seem to like using the showers for their functions. He’s here, at Robin’s request, with an overpriced membership to Planet Fitness Gym, only because he’s a good friend.

“Okay! I am so, so done,” Robin huffs out as she throws the exercise ball she was using, it bounces against the mirrored wall and almost comes crashing back into her. She turns to Steve with a grimace. “I’m going to use the last bit of time just running. You coming?”

And of course Steve was joining her, she’s the only reason he’s suffering in this place. “Sounds fantastic.”

So Steve slips back on his loose hanging tank top while Robin cleans up their area. Then she’s leading out to a slightly raised running track that winds around the whole gym floor. It takes the runner past each area and room then loops back around to make a lap. Robin’s pushing her headphones on her fluffed up hair, the grimace still on her face.

“How much longer, exactly?” Steve asks innocently, but she’s already started off without him.

Steve has to run to catch up then settles into a soft jog next to her. He didn’t bring his headphones, why didn’t he bring his headphones. He could be zoning out as much as Robin is now. Instead he’s submitted himself to the entertainment of the gym around him.

And sure, it’s interesting. Lots of girls with ill fitting training bras bouncing, lots of tshirts with funny inspirational sayings. Lots of people struggling through their workouts with even funnier faces.

It’s especially interesting when they get to the weight lifting area. The equipment set up around the clean white floors and walls look like torture devices, Steve couldn’t bring himself to image how they worked. Jogging past he noticed one that you moved like wings and one that you kicked out, all with wires and huge metal weights, all with jacked out super serious people working them.

One guy is slinging two lengths ropes up and down, then stops to take his shirt off to wipe his forehead. An oh, Steve doesn’t mind that so much.

Then he jogs past to the last room before a curve and it’s a simple one, Mostly empty, except for a few standard lifting benches. And there’s only one guy occupying it. He’s looking at himself in the mirror and God, Steve is looking at him too.

This guy could be Adonis turned rock star, with his long curled blond hair pushed back with a folded bandana in replacement of a sweatband. He’s shirtless with only the smallest of small cotton shorts on and he’s flexing in long languid sweeps of his arms. Poses, moves, poses, Steve’s glued.

Then the guy flexes one bicep, just the one closest to Steve of course, and happens to turn over his shoulder to admire himself. And their eyes meet. And Steve’s still glued, still looking, his mouth must be hanging open he’s so embarrassingly staring.

And this guy, this Greek god, a total babe, keeps his eyes locked with Steve while he leans down to plant a wet, open mouthed kiss on his taught, sun-kissed muscles.

Steve’s heart stops, full stops, but his feet do not. They twist and collide one after the other like a car crash, and he sends himself tumbling to the ground with a squeak.

In a weak attempt to stop, Steve stretches out his arms. But he only manages to grip the back of Robin’s baggy shirt and bring her down with him.

“You are a complete dingus!” She screeches as she shoves Steve’s lanky limbs off her.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpers softly, scrambling to his knees. He pushes his hands through his sweaty hair. And yeah, he can feel how flushed his skin is. He knows he is blushing tomato red. Steve doesn’t, he can’t, look back over at the guy who caused all this by being so amazingly distracting.

“I’m sorry,” Steve mutters again. Robin throws her hands up. Then she’s stomping off towards the ladies’ locker room. Steve has nothing to do but trudge off towards the men’s locker room, his tail between his legs.

By some grace Steve is saved meeting eyes with anyone else, and the locker room is empty. He rips into his locker to collect his towel. Steve pushes his sweaty face into the material and just screams.

“So smooth, so smooth you idiot!” He scolds himself.

There’s no way that guy is going to see Steve as anything other than a joke, a weirdo who tripped over his own feet. Maybe Steve will even have to quit the gym membership after only one day. Maybe he’ll just tuck himself in bed and never come back out.

Sitting on the benches, Steve’s hanging his head in defeat. His towel around his neck and hair in a messy curtain over his face.

He doesn’t see the door to the locker room open up. “Hey,” some guy calls.

Steve is seized with fear, yeah he’s really about to get kicked out of this gym for being a bisexual disaster. He brings his head up slowly.

“Oh,” he gapes as he sees the same Adonis as before, now standing only feet in front of him. Still shirtless, Steve notices. He’s even better looking up close.

“Wanted to say sorry about that,” the guy is smiling and Steve wants to die, “I didn’t mean to distract you or make you fall down. I was just being an asshole.”

“Nah it’s okay,” Steve stutters out. Then he notices how this guy has thick eyebrows; just as thick as his thighs glistening on display. His brows have a cut down one. And the other is currently raised a little in question.

“Oh- oh no! I don’t mean you being an asshole is okay! It’s just ah,” Steve feels his face flush red again. “I’m just a clutz naturally, I likely would have eaten shit on that track with or without a seriously hot guy with great muscles- oh. I didn’t mean to say that. Shit.” Steve has to stop talking too fast. He sounds so dumb sometimes, he scolds himself more as he buries his face back into his towel.

“It’s okay,” the guy is laughing now, laughing at him. But he keeps talking. “You were really... cute.”

That has Steve lifting his face from his towel. Scoffing a little chuckle himself, he pushes his hair back out of his face and sits up straighter. “How rude of me,” he stands up to hold out a hand, “I’m Steve Harrington.”

“Billy,” the guy, Billy, slides forward easy to take his hand in his. It’s big, warm, rough in lots of spots, and his fingers are thick just like every other damn thing on him.

“Hello Billy,” Steve says. The shake is quick, don’t make it awkward, but Steve misses his hand as soon as it’s gone.

“Sorry, again, I made you take a tumble back there, Bambi.” Billy stops Steve’s heart for a second time, but the wide hungry grin he’s wearing starts it right back up. Shocks Steve to his core with the electric power he has.

Steve doesn’t want to look away from Billy’s bright blue eyes crinkling in the corners with the force of his smile, his smile for Steve, oh wow. But he does glance down when Billy sips a piece of paper out of his shorts pocket to offer him.

“If you want those pretty doe legs worked out a bit, I’d be happy to help with some tips in exchange.”

What Steve wants is to scream. Wants to spin in a circle. Instead, he casually takes the paper. Glances it over. Nods. Internally faints. It’s a folded paper with information printed out for a beginners lifting class, ‘any size & any age’ it reads. And under the slogan, in the margin between room number and time, is a hand drawn cartoon of Billy lifting a barbell with one arm. His bicep curvy and huge, and one of his cute little cartoon eyes closed in a wink.

Under the drawing is a hastily scribbled phone number. Billy’s phone number. Steve is shaking with effort.

“Give me a call, Bambi. I’ll reserve a spot for you,” Billy calls over his shoulder as he walks back out of the locker room.

Steve has to close his eyes to remember to breath after Billy walks out. He goes to spin around to his locker again, already dreaming about all the nicknames and emojis he’s going to put next to Billy’s contact name, when his shin cracks against the wood of the bench. He goes crashing to the floor. Second time in one day. At least Billy isn’t here to see it this time.

After Steve showered and nursed his bruised ego enough, he slips out of the locker room. Phone in hand as he looks fondly down at his new contact.

Billy God of Hot Bod 👅💦💪🏻

“Robin, guess what?”

“Don’t touch me. We’re fighting.” Robin shoves off his thin finger jabbing into her side.

He shrugs. “Oh so you don’t want to know?”

She shoots him a hateful glare over her shoulder. They walk out to the parking lot and stop at Steve’s car, standing flush up on the doors and talking over the roof. “Know what?” She finally bites.

“The good news?” He wiggles his phone for her to see.

Robin furrows her brows as she tries to read the phone. “Good news?” She mimics.

“I’m pregnant.”

Robin almost screams at his terrible joke. She slams the door as she climbs in the car and orders Steve to take her home now. While they drove Steve might have talked the whole time about how Billy’s fingers felt, but who could blame him.

[kyber-kisses]

Attacked ( Dean x Reader )

Summary: When Dean and the reader leave to go on a supply run things don’t go exactly as planned when a few unfriendly faces decide to show up...

Warnings: Violence ( just the normal spn level stuff)

A/N: I literally just had a dream about this and I woke up and realized it would make a perfect Drabble. I hope you guys like it! ( also I had to write this on mobile so I’m sorry if it looks a bit odd)

One of the very last things you ever expected to be doing on a Friday night was going on a supply run for the bunker. If there were no cases Friday nights were strictly reserved for movie nights. Yet here you were, sliding into the next to Dean, surrounded by what could only be a few dozen grocery bags.

“ so why did you drag me along with you to go get groceries?” You questioned, fiddling with the unopened can of Pringle’s you had just bought.

“ Because y/n it’s my job to make you miserable.” A light smirk crosses his face as he stuck the key into the ignition.

“Haha very funny. . . You know if you had just- I don’t know, not lost at Rock Paper Scissors we would both be back at the bunker right now watching spy movies.” You shrugged, popping a Pringle into your mouth before handing the can over to Dean.

“ How does paper beat rock? How?” He grumbled as the two of you rolled out of the parking lot.

Beyond the tree line the sun was sinking below the horizon, and the last rays of sunlight leaked through the trees, lining them with a border of gold. The sky was already darkening to the east as the first few stars peaked out. The windows were rolled down, letting in the scent of warm summer air.

From the view outside the window you shifted your eyes to look over at the green eyed driver. The street lights flickered across his features and you could see he had a relaxed smile resting on his face. How could you possibly tell Dean Winchester you had feelings for him? The two of you had known each other since you were sixteen. You didn’t want to ruin a friendship like that.

“ what are you looking at?” Dean questioned, shifting his eyes from the road to you, even if it only was for a second.

Shit. He caught you.

“ Oh, just the mass amount of crumbs you have all over your face.” You reached forward to fiddle with the volume.

“Wha-“ you watched as dean quickly reached for the rear view mirror, turning it towards his face.

“Y/n there’s nothing on my face.” He turned to look at you, a hint of annoyance on his features.

“Oh, then it must just have been your freckles.” You shrugged. A smile spread across your face as you heard Dean let out an exasperated gasp.

“You are a savage!”

“ oh but that’s why you love me.” You teased, tilting your head to look at the hunter. What you didn’t expect to see was a light red creeping up his cheeks. Was- was Dean Winchester blushing?

“ We should uh- probably stop and get gas before heading back.” You nodded. Dean peeked down at the gas gauge nodding in agreement.

“Probably wouldn’t hurt.”

The moment you pulled into the gas station you felt something was off. It was an old gas station, sitting on the corner of an empty intersection. You couldn’t see any other buildings near by except the station. You would be caught here dead if you were alone, but Dean was here and that was good enough. The two of you slid out of the impala.

“Here.” You looked over the roof of the impala to see Dean toss you his wallet. “ if you go pay, I’ll fill up.”

You threw a thumbs up before crossing the pavement and entering the convenience store. Knowing it would take a few minutes to fill up, you chose to walk down the isles of crappy junk food. Seeing a bag of gummy bears you snatched it up. They were one of Deans favorites, maybe you could pass it off as an I’m sorry gift for the joke you made in the car. As you turned to head back towards the register you ran right into someone.

“ I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you the-“ you fell short when the person turned around to reveal black eyes. You were caught so off guard you didn’t even have time to defend yourself before a fist came flying into your nose, knocking you back onto the tile floor. The punch was strong enough to jumble your senses and make you fall back into unconsciousness.

Dean leaned back against the side of the impala, breathing in the warm summer night air, and tapping his fingers to the beat of the song playing out of the radio. His mind wandering back to y/n. Y/n with her big y/e/c eyes and crazy sense of humor, not to mention her give em hell attitude. Dean was never one to really speak his feelings, but he would admit ( at least in his head ) that he was completly and totally in love with you.

After another minute or two, Deans eyebrows knitted together. You still hadn’t come out yet. It should have only taken a minute. He turned to look across the parking lot, and at that same moment the windows of the conscience store shattered. Glass scattering across the pavement. That was all that was need to send Dean practically vaulting over the hood of the impala and into a sprint towards the doors. Before he could even reach his hand out for the door, he was slammed onto the ground by not one, but two very burley men who shared the same lifeless black eyes.

“Winchester.” One of the growled. Before Dean could reach for the blade tucked into his belt he was being dragged by the collar through the broken glass and into the store. His eyes frantically scanning for you to make sure you were okay. His heart dropped to his stomachs the moment the third demon rounded one of the isles.

There you were, being dragged across the linoleum tiles by your hair. You were clawing frantically at your attacker’s wrists. You already had a busted lip and your nose was bleeding heavily. Beyond that you had scatches across your arms and legs and the beginnings of a black eye were showing up.

You locked eyes with Dean and froze. For the first time in a long while Dean looked rightfully and properly scared, but why you didn’t understand. Dean wasn’t afraid of demons, he’ll he’d faced the devil himself. So why was he looking at you with such fear?

“ Well, looks like I finally caught me a Winchester, along with his precious little damsel.” The demon gripping your hair chuckled. “ Now if I time this right you’ll get to watch this precious little thing here die choking on her own blood, and then once that’s over I’ll slit your throat and go after sweet little Sammy. How does that sound?”

“You sure do a lot of talking.” You mumbled. You weren’t expecting to get a rule out of any of the demons but once the words left your mouth one of them left Deans side to take another swing at you as the one holding you yanked your hair again.

Dean took his chance and snapped his head back, slamming it into the face of the demon holding him down, who in turn stumbles backwards letting him go. Yanking the blade from his belt he rushed forward, plunging it into the chest of one holding you. In turn he swung his arm back burying it into the others neck. Before he could get to the final one black sample was crawling across the floor and seeping through one of the vents.

“Damn it!” He screamed, kicking a soda van across the floor.

“Dean, it’s fine. It’s gone.” You coughed, attempting to push yourself up from your spot on the floor. Your voice drawing Dean back.

“Y/n!” The hunter rushed forward,kneeling down in front of you. “Are you okay?”

“Ill live. I’ve been through worse.” You breathed. Dean reached up, cupping your cheek in his palm.

“ you scared the hell out of me.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He pulled back eyes scanning your face and assessing your injuries.

“Let’s get you back to the bunker so I can patch you up.” Hoisting you onto your feet you let out a yelp as you put weight onto your right ankle.

“I think I might have a sprained ankle as well.” You groaned, falling against Deans shoulder.

“ well I guess the only thing I can do is this.” Before you could question him Dean was sweeping you up into his arms, and carrying you out of the convenience store bridal style.

Maybe there was more than just meets the eye.

(A/n: this took awhile to write and I wasn’t sure how to end it but tell me if u guys want a part 2)

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty movie 1

sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla

me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME

i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection 

overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently 

this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao 

we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :( 

regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy 

ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!

jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh

also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie? 

also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool

leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf

also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die

and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok 

ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag

it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious 

ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]

hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh

of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao 

it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn

the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao 

ohhh shit its uvo

OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!

machi is so cooooool

aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!

also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious

and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit

also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo 

ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true 

ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!

seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure 

kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf 

pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well 

also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left 

also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die 

and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough 

tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market 

like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing 

also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!

i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals 

anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them

n e ways back to the non flashback stuff

i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg 

im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....

aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua

ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof 

gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh

also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao 

cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks 

and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID 

but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!

it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well 

i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao 

and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight 

i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad

all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro 

kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof 

and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time

kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in! 

meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends 

but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real 

hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable 

me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo 

ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore 

hisoka: [fights doll chrollo] 

me: oh shit u right 

kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE- 

and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH

but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide

killua: [takes notes]

the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it 

then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU. 

dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho 

when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO

but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH 

Gays Win 

then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo

and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)

we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol 

and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME 

general thots:

so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon

it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude 

this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself 

but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good

the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be 

overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically

so thats it...later! 

[crafiet]

1-50 of the writers ask thingy, tell me everything :D

D:

1 : What age-group do you write?adult! ive always written characters my age or a few years older

2 : What genre do you write?sff, mostly fantasy

3 : Do you outline according to big ideas or small details?hmmm, i guess small details? when i get an idea, i get an idea for single scenes or pieces of dialogue or a certain character, so i piece together an outline from that. but i have trouble with a overarching plot lol

4 : Which do you prefer–line-editing or plot-revisions?line-editing, i love editing. revisions suck bc it takes me 10,000 yrs to come up with an idea and now i have to replace it with another??? blasphemous

5 : Do you write better with or without deadlines?ive written my whole life without deadlines except for when i tried nano last year and failed. so without i guess, but then i dont have anything to convince me to write more lmao

6 : What would be the biggest compliment you could hope to receive on your current WIP?idk probably that its someones favourite book, or to see fanart *.*

7 : How long is your current WIP?26,305 words, its a rewrite heh

8 : What author would you be most excited to be compared to?hummmmmm,,,idk when people call new fantasy books “the next game of thrones” it sounds so fake lol but idk who my favourite author is...

9 : What do you struggle most with as a writer?writing

10 : Do you brain-storm story ideas alone or with others?mostly alone but YOU, ASH, help sometimes. its good to get an objective ear

11 : Do you base your characters off of real people?nah lol, im not good at characters

12 : Is your writing space clean or cluttered?clean

13 : Do you write character-driven or plot-driven stories?plot-driven. my writing is extremely fast paced, and i dont tend to like reading character-driven works

14 : Do you have a favorite writing-related quote?ive answered this in previous ask. the 'drunk on writing’ one by ray bradbury

15 : If you transport your original characters into another author’s world, which world would you choose?everyone else’s worlds are so harsh lol maybe id put them in atla so they can fuck around w bending

16 : Would your story work better as a movie or tv show? Why?miniseries ﾟ*｡(･∀･)ﾟ*｡ but it would lend itself to a movie yeah

17 : Do you make soundtracks for each story?nah, lazy ass

18 : If you could assign your story one song, what would it be?unbecoming by starset

19 : Would you rather live in your characters’ world, or have your characters come live in our world?honestly? i wanna escape capitalism and wield a sword

20 : What book would you love to see adapted for the big or small screen?zero world by jason m hough!!!! its a pretty big book i think a movie duology or a tv show would work!

21 : Do you finish most of the stories you start?no

22 : Has your own writing ever made you cry?no lol 

23 : Are you proud or anxious to show off your writing?anxious cz im bad

24 : When did you start considering yourself a writer?i meannnnnnnn do i even now thoooooo

25 : What books are must-reads in your genre?sff is so broad, read whatever tf u want

26 : What would you like to see more of in your genre?diversity, not just in race gender sexuality but in fucking plots like damn give me something w a twist

27 : Where do you get inspiration from?real life, books, movies

28 : On a scale of 1-10, how much do you stress about choosing character names?about a 2, i just search on a generator until i find one i like im not a stickler for names nd i dont usually have placeholder names or anything

29 : Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?chronic underwriter hence the only 20k words

30 : Does writing calm you down or stress you out?calm me down, i have no control over my own life so its good to have complete control over my oc’s lives. i dont tend to have the ‘characters run away from me’ thing, but probably bc i dont see it like that lol

31 : What trope do you actually like?ride-or-die, charas who are knowledgeable and badass from the beginning, i hate following the character learning to do something lmao im impatient

32 : Do you give your side-characters extensive backstories?depends on the side character, every character is fleshed out to an extent but i dont do a massive family tree or anything

33 : Do you flesh-out characters before you write, or let their personalities develop over time?i tend to create characters before plot so i would say i know them pretty well before starting but i do let them develop naturally within the story without forcing them into any box

34 : Describe your old writing in one word.tryhard

35 : Is it more fun to write villains or heroes?mmm both have their merits, i went through a phase where i loved villains but a warped heroes journey or a morally grey/anti-hero can be super good too

36 : Do you write with a black and white sense of morality?nah, murky

37 : What’s one piece of advice you would give to new writers?try anything. anything it doesnt matter if ur nervous or you ‘dont write in that genre’ or you dont even like that genre. its good to train yourself and go out of your comfort zone, makes u a better writer imo. also dont read this and think ‘im not writing an entire historical romance novel bc i hate it’ i mean just one shots. a paragraph or two. try out writing prompts, it really flexes ur skillsalso dont feel like everything u have to write will be published, thats what i mean by try out little paragraphs or prompts. let go of this idea that any of this work will see the light of day [unless u rly want it to] and just have fun, go wild, go crazy, go stupid

38 : What’s one piece of writing advice you try–but fail–to follow?its mostly those ones that help u have cleaner, more beautiful writing. i write really beige-like and its hard to be poetic or flowery

39 : How important is positive reinforcement to you as a writer?probably super important

40 : What would you ask your favorite author if given one question?when ur next book out

41 : Do you find it distracting to read while you’re writing a first draft?nah

42 : Do critiques motivate or discourage you?ive never really had many, so i would say discourage bc i dont have a thick skin with my writing

43 : Do you tend to write protagonists like yourself or unlike yourself?unlike myself, i like to write bold, confident characters and im not that lol escapism much

44 : How do you decide what story idea to work on?whichever interests me the most at the moment, i can jump between projects easily so i dont have a problem 

45 : Do you find it harder or easier to write when you’re stressed out?harder, i cant look at my writing if im stressed else ill absolutely hate it and might do something drastic like delete it all lol

46 : What Hogwarts house would your protagonist(s) be in?ary is slytherincyri is ravenclawash is gryffindorcaena is slytherin [i dont know how to spell the house names]

47 : Where do you see yourself as a writer in five years?still writing id hope

48 : Would you ever co-write?nah

49 : Are you a fast and rushed writer or a slow and deliberate writer?i used to be fast and rushed bc i was so impatient i just wanted to see the end product but i realised that i really love being in the world of my wips as long as possible so i draw it out and really mull everything over

50 : Would you rather be remembered for your fantastic world-building or your lifelike characters?both lol? i do love worldbuilding but i think characters make a greater impact

[tumblunni]

Man i really should like... Meticulously go through every single thing i ever watched as a kid and try and find out if there are any other faves i forgot about. It could be fun to draw an ensemble piece of all the science villains in my bigass loving heart! I think warpnik would probably be the most obscure of those tho.

OH wait maybe i just abruptly remembered him cos Maddiman kinda vaguely reminds me of him, sorta? Both got the same weird not-white-guy-pink-but-literal-pink skintone, goofy hair, nasally voice, being strangely adorable, etc.

OH MAN i even remember the plot of his damn episode now! He was robotnik's non evil cousin that he banished to an alternate dimension that ended up turning him mad so he ended up a villain too. SO THATS WHERE MY SQUISKER AND MCKRAKEN HEADCANONS MUST HAVE COME FROM!

And i cant remember anything else about the episode except that even as a kid i found it annoying and rude how they made fun of his speech impediment. Like do you ever hate those voices? Voices where its clearly a badly done parody of some actual voice of some demographic they look down on, and its hard to articulate that you hate the voice but not the real thing its based on, and you also hate the fact theyre mentally associating this intentionally annoying voice with that demographic and reinforcing the idea that their normal voices are also inherantly horrible and funny? I felt that way about this dude and his lisp cos i also have a lisp, but its more often done with the 'cartoon simpleton voice' aka downs syndrome/other disability stereotype, and of course the 'sassy independant black woman who aint need no man' and the 'scary deep voiced black man thug' and the 'ching chong high pitched generic all asian cultures at the same time' goddamn thing. Why was this treated like the height of humor in the 90s and why is it still around today??

Oh also i remember that this dude stuck in my memory so much cos even though he was an antagonist he wasnt really the bad guy. Like he had a very legit reason to hate robotnik and it was just 'whoops sonic and co got caught in the crossfire'. Made me kinda sad that in the end they never set him free from that warp prison dimension place, but he still kinda 'wins' the episode and that was very memorable to me as a kid. Sonic manages to escape while leaving robotnik trapped, and warpnik is like "HELL YEAH REVENGE TIME" and thats just where it ends. So its not really ACTUALLY a proper sympathetic villain plot or anything but it was like baby me's first introduction to the concept of sympathetic villains? I was always used to my fave characters being bad and hated, but this time the guy kinda got a mildly happy ending sorta. Vaguely. Robotnik is just back with no explanation in the next episode cos that show kinda didnt care about sequential storytelling. But hey that leaves room open for me to headcanon that warpnik also managed to escape and he's off somewhere now being like "oh my god i missed the grass and the stars" and yeah maybe he's still kinda 'warped' from the experience but he has a chance of recovery now. Cos seriously even as a seven year old i could see that this dude was a stereotype of mental illness. Like just.. EVERY mental illness. Man, 'comic book crazy' is another trope that i never understood why it was funny and im glad its died.

OH maybe i relate to mad scientists cos i guess the way theyre treated by other characters felt similar to how adults treated us autistic kids???

I dunno man. Maybe theres no reason and i just wish i had a cool science dad/uncle/grandpa cos thats Objectively The Greatest Thing. YOU COULD HAVE SO MANY ADVENTURES TOGETHER!!! and heal his broken heart from traumatic backstory appearances cos WHY DO I KEEP TAKING MINOR FUNNYMANS AND MAKING THEM SAD oh yeah cos Yokai Watch(tm) validated me with that actually being canon for once EVERYONE GO PLAY YOKAI WATCH OK

Dr maddiman best

Dr warpnik almost as best

Its like that 'X walked so Y could run' meme

U gots to wotch the shows of not be screentime to they science gramps tp someday find the thing that do!!!

Man im fuckin hyper

[stonemedusa]

Unwanted attention- Chapter 4

Pairing: Izuna Uchiha X Sakura Haruno X Madara Uchiha

Rating: M

Word count: 1323

Summary: (Time travel) Stuck between a war, a clan full of suspicious sharingan users and two very interested Uchiha, can our pinkette find a way to get home without drawing unneeded attention? -MadaSakuIzu-

Previous chapter  Next chapter

--

Sakura came to in much less pain and discomfort than last time, her lethargic body resting comfortably on a rather soft bed, her head propped up on a nice smelling pillow. With a slight groan, she slowly opened her eyes and looked around, her head turning this way and that as she surveyed her surroundings subtly, an odd weight pressing down on her arms as she moved to sit up.

A dim room surrounded her, rather plain in decoration, but by the very familiar smell of antiseptic in the air- it was for medical reasons.

The less there was in the room of an ill or injured person, the less you had to worry about cleaning or spreading germs to.

She was in a recovery room then…

Slowly but surely the pinkette pulled herself up, almost immediately noting the ropes binding her wrists to the sides of her bed, an obvious attempt to keep her in place…

But they weren’t chakra resistant.

Her plan had worked…possibly.

It was never good to assume.

Slowly coming to her senses, Sakura rushed to fall into the role she’d been forced to play, blinking slowly as she lightly tried to pull her arms from their position. It wouldn’t do to have anyone see her looking…unconcerned at her current situation.

Apparently luck was on her side today, because not moments after she began her act, the doorway to her left pulled open quietly, her wide and accusing eyes locking with those of a middle aged man who looked rather surprised to see her up.

“Y-You’re awake? But didn’t they just give you a sedative…?” He mumbled, looking at her curiously before paling and turning away abruptly, his voice soft yet sheepish. “I-I’m sorry, I forgot that you…I’ll go get the female medic for you. Sorry!”

Sakura didn’t even have a chance to speak before he hightailed it out of the room, her soft confused mumble following him down the hallway.

‘What the hell?’

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S AWAKE?! AND YOU JUST BARGED IN THERE?! YOU PROBABLY SCARED THE POOR GIRL TO DEATH KOUJI!” An enraged shriek suddenly sounded, angry footsteps storming towards her as Sakura sat there, pretending to be in a daze.

“W-…where am I?...” She drawled, purposely irritating her throat so she sounded much worse than she actually was.

She was a little thirsty though…damn.

“Oh you poor thing, I’m so sorry for that idiot! You’re safe now, he couldn’t hurt a damn fly.” A young dark haired woman exclaimed softly, cooing slightly as she caught sight of Sakura’s faked terror. “Oh, Oh no, you poor thing. They were right, weren’t they? Just what did those monsters do to you?!”

“W-what?” The pinkette rasped, flinching away from the woman’s comforting hands out of instinct, trying her hardest to keep from lashing out. “Who are you?!”

“It’s okay, you’re safe…here, let me get you out of those. I don’t even know what they were thinking, tying up a torture victim! I’m so sorry!” The woman immediately went to work, delicately untying the supposed ‘torture victim’ as said woman did her best to process the new information quickly, her mind in a tizzy as she tried to modify her plan on the go.

Victim it was.

Widening her eyes and forcing them to water up a little, Sakura bit her bottom lip, looking away from the dark eyed woman as she hunched up, rubbing her slightly raw wrists.

“How…how did you know that?...I never…I never-”

“Oh sweetie…” Sakura flinched away as the woman went to hug her, pressing her back against the wall as she put as much distance between them as she could without falling from the bed. “Shit, I’m sorry! Sweetie, can you tell me your name?”

“…Sakura…” Said pinkette mumbled after a few moments of silence, plastering a wary look on her face as the other woman moved away to give her some space.

“Sakura, that’s a pretty name. What’s your last name? I bet it’s just as lovely!”

‘Does she think I’m an idiot?’ Sakura didn’t answer her this time, remembering all the patients she’d treated that’d had…similar…experiences. They didn’t go sharing information easily, especially if they’d gotten away without letting anything slip in the first place.

“Alright, that’s okay, I understand. Now Sakura, can you tell me what happened? Hana mentioned something about-”

“-My brothers!” Sakura exclaimed, her eyes wide as she scrambled from the bed, trying to clumsily get around the woman and towards the door.

Trying, because she was actively letting the other woman block her path as she put on an exhausted and weak act, the dark haired medic’s hands easily pushing the ‘desperate’ young woman back onto her bed despite her protests.

“Sakura-”

“I need to find them! Please, they need me I have to-”

“A thorough search of the area showed no signs of them being in distress Miss, please calm down. All we could find in that area was your trail coming directly from Senju territory.” Slowly turning to look at the man, Sakura felt a faint sense of familiarity, his dark eyes and hair pulling at her memories…

“Izuna-sama, I wasn’t expecting you! Welcome!” The woman chirped, hastily bowing once Sakura proceeded to huddle up on her bed again.

“Shiemi-san. How is she?” Yes, his voice was definitely familiar…

“Miss Sakura here is doing quite well, gave us a right fright actually! Apparently her body’s rather used to sedatives…” a hidden meaning seemed to be conveyed with that statement, because the man- ‘Izuna’- looked at her with something close to pity then, a silent nod being passed to the dark haired female.

Wait…Izuna? Wasn’t that…?

“Saved me…” Sakura whispered, the man’s eyes zeroing in on her lips as she did so, obviously trying to pick up what she was saying. “You’re the one that…that saved me?”

“It was Miss Hana that found you, but yes, I was there to bring you back to the compound.” He seemed a little confused as she spoke, the thankfulness and awe she was desperately trying to convey obviously shining through.

“Thank you…Thank you for saving me Izuna.”

“Sakura, you need to call Izuna-sama by-”

“No. No, it’s fine Shiemi-san, leave her be.” His impassive face remained unreadable, but his eyes were a different story, confusion and a strange softness filling them as he cast Sakura a small nod before turning and leaving the room in silence.

…Now…who did he remind her of? It was at the tip of her tongue damn it!...

“Wow, it sure was nice of Izuna-sama to come check on you. I heard he’s been by a few times, bugging Hanami for updates on your condition.” ‘Shiemi’ giggled out once his footsteps faded away, turning to Sakura with an exaggerated look of jealousy, obviously trying to play light of the man’s sudden visit.

Sakura had done the same thing many a time, trying to ease a patient back into a social setting with light jokes and-

“I wish I had an Uchiha like that worrying over my wellbeing. But nooo, all I get is Kouji…pffft.”

And a soft smile-

Wait what?!

“U-Uchiha?!” Her confusion wasn’t faked this time, nor was her floored reaction as Shiemi seemed to just nod, her smile never fading as she let out a light laugh.

“Yep! I probably should have told you earlier, right? Well, Izuna-sama brought you back two days ago, and Madara-sama was kind enough to let you stay while they send someone to look for your brothers! So I guess a welcome is in order.”

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say i-

“Welcome to the Uchiha compound, we’ll keep those nasty Senju away from you. And if you can’t trust my word for it, Madara-sama would never let them hurt you, he hates them more than anyone I know.”

Fuck.

…

Madara Uchiha?

Senju?

Uchiha?

Just what the hell was going on?!

[freckledbabysbf-blog]

11 Questions Tag!!

(or more like i’ve been tagged 7 times and im just gonna answer all of them)

Basically, you have to answer these 11 questions, create 11 new ones and then tag 11 people to answer your questions!

thank you neha for tagging me! @3rachaa

1) which stray kids member would you want as your best friend?

honestly?? probably either felix, seungmin or changbin. i think felix would probably bring out good sides of me, seungmin and i could be soft together and changbin and i are just lowkey the same person so

2) who’s your ult bias and why?

i dont even know at this point, i have like 5 tbh. its ncts mark, because he got me back into kpop because idk i just thought hes really inspirational and shit. then theres seventeens the8 because honestly he just snatched me and damn im lowkey in love with him ngl and hes so talented and god damn beautiful i just cant. then theres ma boy v, aka kim taehyung aka the guy that has had me smitten since 2014 and i just love him because damn his voice and hes so adorable and just damn. also im a hoe its also suga because ngl hes like exactly my type and hes so damn admirable and just i dont even know how could i not love him? And last but not least our boy felix somehow did it and im not sure how but he did it and im still confused

3) how’s your day been?

im really sick but except that today was a chill day, i had a 5hour nap and basically couldnt talk all day so

4) what’s something that you’re excited about?

honestly? my best friend and i have a tradition of staying on my step dads farm in between christmas and new year every year and this year my other best friend is joining us and im super exited for that

5) how’d you discover stray kids? what was your initial impression of them?

i saw the teaser of the hellevator mv and was like, damn jyp u got a new group ready to snatch me?

6) ice cream or cake?

questionable because i dont eat either bc it most of the time isnt vegan but probably ice cream

7) what’s your fave food?

i have no favorite food tbh

8) favorite ice cream flavor?

idk proably hazelnut ig

9) what’s your ult group? why do you love them?

the same as with ub, its in between nct, seventeen, bts and now also stray kids and right now id say my main focus is stray kids? i just love them

10) what’s your role in the fandom? (ex. parent, the baby, etc.)

im that one gay cousin who just dissapears from time to time

11) rant about anything ;)

honestly felix eyes are so beautiful and dont let me start about his damn freckles man this guy is a whole 20/10 like damn bro chill ur already basically everything i want as a boyfriend stop being perfect hard working and lovable 

thanks mari pt 1 @jiggyjisung

1. whats your fav cold drink?

does water count?

2. chocolate chip cookies or oreos?

both are not vegan but if they would be probably chocolate chip i dont like oreos

3. are you still in school?

sadly yes i am and its stressing me

4. do you have a job or volunteer work?

not really i sometimes do errands for my moms cinema tho

5. Do you have any pets?

pets that are actually mine? at the moment not but im getting kittens soon

6. am i gonna finish this without making stupid questions?

no

7. trick question all these questions are pretty stupid

i am aware

8. do you like anime (wow such weeb)

i might like anime, youll never find out tho (yes)

9. do you like video games (wow such nerd)

i mean im totally not obsessed with little nightmares or anything

10. what temperature is it where u are?

well outside its like 0° C inside idk

11. whats ur level of weird

changbin

mari pt2

1. Whats good fam?

bye

2. Did you eat yet

its midnight, yes i ate a small dinner

3. What time is it?

00:09

4. are you tired?

nope

5. Still in school or nah?

yyes

6. are you a keyboard, cuz you’re my type *wink wonk*

thanks ur not (jk ily ur cool)

7. did you like that ^^

i love me some shitty pck up lines

8. So whatcha doin rn (besides this)

texting and listening to music

9. chocolate chip cookies or oreos

chocolate chip

10. do u got any pets

nope still not

11. mac n cheese or lasagna

both not vegan but probably lasanga

thanks my dear ela ily @incorrectfelix

if you could magically learn any language, real or fictional, which one would it be?

probably korean tbh

Do weekdays have a colour for you?

not really

If so, which ones?

nah

Sweet or savoury?

savoury

If you could do anything right now, what would it be?

having a movie night with all of my close friends i miss them a lot

What‘s your favourite haircolour?

black and brown probably, but ill also never say no to some good looking dyed hair thats lowkey washed out

Favourite kpop quote?

“My current boyfriend is Shownu and my next boyfriend will be Wonho” - I.M

Favourite type of weather?

snow and rain im all in for that cold wheather

What got you into KPop?

my friend back in 2014 and then mark lee

Do you have any ships? Which ones?

to many tbh, i love taegi? like sign me the fuck up. celara (thats the shipname of my siter and her girlfriend and i support it) , changlix, poly evryone and idk man i ship a lot of people

Describe a memory, any memory.

hi im about to share one of my favourite memories from this year with you, like it was a quite warm saturday evening and i was out with my friends and maybe a little drunk but we all were and we were just talking and honestly that was the moment i realised i love my friend so much i could never let go of them ( i like talking about memories so if anyone wanna know some of my fevourite memories im open to share them)

Favourite names?

i really like charlie, noah,nico, lee (yes i like my own names fight me) , finn, michael and lucas

thanks for tagging me @dabkingfelix

1: Do you prefer tea to coffee??

tea all the way coffee is way to bitter for me

2: When was the last time you laughed so hard that it hurt??

just now, bc my throat is sick but my friend send me a joke

3: List 3 things can be found in your room on a daily basis??

pens, clothes and pacifiers

4: What’s your favourite season??

fall and winter

5: If you were reborn, would you change your gender??

well i mean i am transgender so yea i guess i would

6: Who is your favourite fictional character??

probably lee jordan and fred and george

7: What was your dream job when you were a kid??

i always wanted to be an artist

8: What’s your favourite scent??

vanilla and cinnamon 

9: Name 3 personality traits you seek in other people??

honestly, loyality and creativity i guess??

10: Do you lick or bite ice cream??

god i dont know

11: Do you believe in horoscopes?

nope not really

thanks @thestraykidsfreak

1. Milk or cereal?

cereal

2. The group that got you into Kpop?

bts (and lowkey vixx) in 2014

3. Who’s your Stray Kids bias?

felix and changbin

4. A thing you really like about yourself? (appearance, character trait, whatever)

that i can draw well and that i get quite freckly in summer

5. Do you get along with your family?

i guess

6. Fave band that isn’t Kpop?

one ok rock lol (or pierce the veil, sue my emo ass)

7. Have you ever considered learning Korean?

yes im lowkey learning it but its on hold bc of school rn

8. What’s the last compliment you gave someone?

i like your eyes, they look as dead as u  (to my best friend. she might've hit me)

9. Have you ever changed your bias? And if, how often?

the only group where i actually changed my bias is seventeen where i went from jeonghan to woozi to the8

10. Do you have any nervous habits?

i scratch open my skin, i pick at my skin and i fidget

11. What made you get a tumblr account?

well this one the cereal debatte my actual first one? idk anymore tbh

thanks emma ur cool @straykidshizzle

1. What do you like most about your physique?

i like my nose and eyes

2. What is your biggest talent?

drawing probably

3. When do you feel the happiest?

when im with my friends

4. What is your favorite memory?

this year the moment i was outside with my friends where i thought wow im really glad i got all of you, in general a night between christmas and new year on my stepdads farm laying on my bed at night with my best friend listening to teneriffea sea by ed sheeran

5. What is your current homescreen background?

for my phone, felix for my laptop some random hot guys collarbones

6. If you got a free plane ticket to anywhere, where would you go?

probably korea, thats the place i wanna go most right now

7. What did you want to be when you were young(er)?

artist

8. How would you describe yourself?

im really bad at that but a highkey socially akward small shy boy that just wants to get accepted and doesnt know how to handle social situations

9. What’s the best thing that happened to you this week?

its monday night so i guess its my friend saying shell visit me tomorrow because im sick and my other friend who i thought didnt like me anyymore asking me to meet up on wednesday

10. Who is someone you really admire? (and why?)

lowkey my sister because she just does whatever she wants and my best friend because she does what she wants but shes still on top of her class and just wow i just really admire all of my friends (thats lowkey shitty tho bc that lowkey fucks with my mental state)

11. Who was the last person you hugged?

well, probably my mom or dad and except them lotte, a girl whos on my team that i drove home with together

thanks for all the tags man

my questions are:

1. whats your hogwarts house ? (slytherin im a snek)

2. cats or dogs ? (cats)

3. favorite star constellation ? (cygnus and the summer triangle)

4. kakao talk or line ? (kakao)

5. a stargazing date or a library date? (stargazing)

6. natrual or dyed hair (both but natural ig)

7. sexual orientation? (gay)

8. haikyuu or kuroko no basket or free (?yes im a whole weeb rip)

9. produce 101 season 1 or 2 ? (2)

10. girl groups or boy groups? (bg)

11. kermit or pepe? (kermit)

i tag : @fehlix,   @leader-chan, @dani-edgy, @ultiz; @jisxngie ; @f3lix-lee; @koalachris; @jenaipaidemots (what an url), @squishywoojin , @jeongn @felixsfreckles

if you dont want to or have already done it dont worry!

[clevernewdimension]

Inhumans Part Nine

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Genre: A/U, Angst, Violence, Fluff, Romance, more in the future.

Pairing: Yixing x Reader

Word Count: 4.1K

Through the chaos. Jongin was bringing the freed Inhumans one or two at a time. He informed us that the police arrived earlier than expected. I was leading the newly teleported people into a room where we had some fairly decent sized cots, pillow and blankets. I told them to stay here and I’ll come back and see them once everyone is taken here.

After escorting two more, I feel a small hand grab mine. I look down, seeing a young girl with dark skin. She looked like she was one of the Inhumans taken from another country far away from here, she was terrified. She look about ten years old. In her right hand she was holding a knife, her hand shaking.

I lean down, “It’ll be ok. Do you understand me?”

She shakes her head no, eyes filled with tears. I put my hand over hers, the one with the knife, “You are safe,” I said in English. I learned ages ago, though it was very rusty.

“Are you sure,” She asks, her accent sounding like she’s from England.

I nod, “They do not know we are here,” I say, carefully taking the knife. “We will get you home. To parents. Safe.”

She nods, wiping tears from her eyes. I give her a small hug, walking back to the entrance, the knife now in my hand. I escort a few more Inhumans, hearing gunshots and fighting over the ear piece. Worry set itself in. Jongin teleports once again, and I see the neon haired woman from before, though her hair was now a mix of blue and purple. She was holding a cut on her hand, cursing.

“All the information is taken care of,” She says, her voice softer than I thought it would be. She was a few inches taller than I was. Her hair was up in a ponytail, out of her face. Her eyes were a bright glowing orange as she stood next to Jongin. Her accent when she spoke was different. I’d guess she wasn’t born here, but brought here like many others. She wore an oversize grey tee that had a few rips, jeans with holes and a pair of black boots. “Just get them out of there!”

Jongin nods, before motioning to me, “This is Y/N, she can help your cut or you can wait for Yixing!”

“Just get them,” She says, the glowing dying in her eyes as they return to a light blue.

He was gone in a flash, Baekhyun runs out of his office, looking at her and giving her a hug. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” He says, looking at her.

“I’m so pissed,” She says, growling. “How did they find me! They never have before!”

Baekhyun lets go of her, looking at me, “Are they alright?”

I nod, “They’re all fine and safe. A few have some minor scratches, but other than that they’re just scared.”

Neon’s eyes finally look over at me, looking me up and down before hardening her stare. “I didn’t know you fellas got someone new,” Her voice a bit tense.

“She’s Nayeon’s daughter, Y/N,” Baekhyun explains. “She’s a doctor, since… well.”

“Since Xing can’t heal himself,” She finishes for him, looking at her cut. “No offense, but I’d rather just have this healed. Stitches itch too damn bad.”

I nod, “None taken.” I look at the knife in my hands, “Um, a small girl had this. Is it yours?”

Neon smiles, “It is. Can you hold it for a bit, at least until I get this healed?” She hold us her arm, as a drop of blood falls to the floor.

I nod, about to open my mouth to say something only to see people return before us in a flash. A few cuts and scrapes, but that wasn’t worrying. What was worrying is that holding onto Yixing’s arm with a gun pointed to his head was an armed man. Another armed man was holding onto Jongdae, a gun in his hands, though pointing at many of them. Minseok lets go of Yixing’s other arm, glaring at the man. Their backs turned to us. Chanyeol’s hands light in flames as he glares at him. Jongin moves back, clutching his head as he puts one hand on the wall, trying to regain balance.

“Stop or I will shoot him,” The first man yells. I watch as they all hold their hands up slowly, watching carefully as the second moves his gun from one person to the other after Jongdae shoved him away.

“It’s ok,” Yixing says, looking at the other members before him nodding.

“Shut up,” The man says, kicking the back of Yixing’s legs, making him fall to his knees. Yixing yelled as he landed, keeping his arms raised, not daring to move them.

My heart felt as if it was in my throat. It was beating so loud, it was almost deafening. It was like time was moving slowly as I watch the man hold it close to the back of his head. The fear on everyone’s face was a terrifying sight, because I was so use to them being powerful and completely in control.

“You don’t have to do this,” Junmyeon starts, trying to reason with the man. Sehun was glaring daggers at the man, his hands shaking. Everyone was on their toes, getting ready to fight.

“Shut up,” The second man yells. He turns his gun to Junmyeon as his ally pushes the barrel of the gun completely against Yixing’s head, making me feel like I was being ripped apart.

“I won’t be able to take you all,” He yells, looking ahead of him at Yixing. “You’re all disgusting, you freaks deserve death and if I can die taking one of you out, then I’ve done my job!” The man looks down at Yixing, “Do you have any last words?”

“Minseok,” I hear a shaking voice say. It was tiny, small, and full of fear. It was the voice I’ve some to adore as he was on his knees, looking up at the eldest man. His body language completely still, reserved. “Tell Y/N I’m sorry,” He says, his voice cracking a bit.

Minseok eyes doesn’t leave his, “Yixing, don’t-”

The second man turns his gun onto him after he took a step forward, “Don’t move!”

I see Yixing’s shoulders shake, “Just let me, ok? There’s… there’s no way out of this. If you all attack, he’ll kill me and the other will kill one of you. You don’t, he’ll kill me, but then you’ll have a chance to save everyone else.. Just… let me speak.” None of those who teleported notice me, Baekhyun or Neon as we stood behind them. I see Baekhyun and Neon both frozen in fear. They didn’t know what to do or what to say.

“Tell her it’s not her fault, because she will find away to blame herself,” I hear the struggle in his voice trying to control his emotions. “And tell her than these past few months with her have been the best in my life and that I wouldn’t trade them, ever. Make sure she knows that I love her more than anything in the world.” My heart hurts hearing him say it, because he was saying it like he was never going to see me again.

“Cute,” The man replies bitterly, as he looks ready to pull the trigger.

I run forward before I knew what I was doing, running into him as the gun goes off. We fall to the ground, before he’s on top of me. I hear a torrent of flames as the other man who was there was engulfed in fire. His scream was terrible and painful, but it sounded distant as if it was just a whisper. I see everyone else in shock as his hands circle my throat, cutting off my air. I try to breathe, glancing around. I see Yixing hold his thigh where the bullet grazed him, blood coming from it before he looks at me. Shocked at the sight, tears running down his face. I see Neon’s knife to my right where I dropped it when I hit him. I reach, seeing people coming to run forward before my hand grabs the hilt.

My body was on autopilot as I slammed the knife into the side of his body. The bullet proof vest covered the front and back, but the sides were exposed. His grip on my throat loosened as I draw the knife out and stab him again, blood coming from him and getting all over my hand and side. I panic and twist the knife, watching as he’s suddenly pulled back, Kyungsoo throwing him across the room.

I blink back tears, taking in huge gasps of air, trying to calm down. The smell of the burning body hitting me full force. My breaths were faster and faster as I sat up, looking at the blood on me. I wipe at it with my other hand, dropping the knife. It felt hot and sticky, making me feel ill. I felt dizzy, the world around me felt like it was moving slowly. My head pounded as I wipe at the blood, seeing it all over me. I felt like I was going to throw up.

I feel someone grab my face and soon all I could see is Sehun as he held me, looking in my eyes, “Y/N, just breathe… it’s ok.”

“Yixing,” I say, my voice strained as it hurt to speak. It sounded as if I haven’t spoken in days. “He’s hurt! I have to go,” I say, my hands shaking as I try to get up.

“Baekhyun will do it,” Sehun says, “You can’t. You can’t do it when you’re like this. You taught him how, just breathe.”

I feel my throat hurt as I start to cough, tears coming to my eyes from the pain. “It hurts,” I said between coughs, my breathing still erratic.

“Panic attack,” I hear Neon say, her voice even softer than before. “She needs to get calm somehow.”

“Minseok,” I hear someone say, the world around me becoming a blur as my eyes felt heavy. I look at Sehun, trying to keep my eyes open. He was trying to be calm as everything in my vision was going fuzzy. “Y/N, stay with me,” Sehun says, trying to remain calm. Before I could understand, my eyes were closing, and all I could see was darkness.

When I open my eyes, I see my room was dark. The string lights were on, but there were swirls of color in the air on the ceiling. I laid there, watching them, letting my mind stay blank. My eyes still heavy, my body almost too tired to move. I close them, but I hear movement. I open my eyes again, seeing the swirls change color slowly, from yellow to green to blue and so on as it shifted to every color of the rainbow. The swirls reminded me of a painting that I can’t remember the name of, though I always thought it was beautiful.

I vaguely hear people talking, making me sit up, trying to regain control. My vision returning sharper and my hearing becoming clearer as I look over to see Neon and Baekhyun.

Baekhyun looks at me, “Y/N?”

“Everything feels off,” I mutter, feeling my throat on fire. I reach my hand up to it. I hear Neon start to tell me not to, but it was too late as my fingers make contact. It hurt so bad as I yank my hand away.

Baekhyun grabs the glass of water on my bedside table, handing it to me, “It’s going to hurt really bad, but you need water.”

“But Yixing, is he alright? Is everyone alright? How are the others? Did you get everyone here safely? Baekhyun, you have to take me to Yixing, I have to-”

“You have to drink this first,” He says, his voice as hard as steel. I lean away, shocked. I’ve never heard Baekhyun talk to me like that before. I was use to the joking and funny Baekhyun. The serious one terrifies me a bit.

Neon walks over to the light switch and turns it on. She looked worried, but now I could see Baekhyun was paler than usual, dark circles under his eyes. “You’ve been unconscious for two days, Y/N. Drink this water, please,” He begs, “Then we’ll take you to Yixing.”

Neon smiles sadly, “He’s not allowed to walk, so he’s been cooped up going crazy wanting to make sure you’re ok.”

Baekhyun smiles a bit as I take the glass from him. “He’s only staying because I told him if you knew he was walking around after that you’d be furious.”

“I would be,” I say, my voice raspy and quiet. I take a sip, my eyes watering in pain. “Ow,” I whisper, before taking a few more.

“Take it easy,” Baekhyun says, “You don’t have to drink it all in one go!”

I don’t stop, giving him a look through the pain as I empty the glass. I set it on the table, standing, bracing myself on him for a moment. “Let’s go,” I mutter, my legs feeling like jelly. I take a few steps, slowly, before Baekhyun puts his arm around me to keep me steady.

I stop a moment, eyeing my mirror. My clothes were changed as I stood there in pajamas instead of what I was wearing before. My throat was covered in deep, dark purple bruises. There was a red spot in my eyes where a vessel popped. My hair was a complete mess and I looked paler than normal. There was a bruise around my left wrist, though I don’t remember getting that at all. Everything in that moment happened so quickly, yet also slowly.

“To answer your other questions,” Neon calmly says, pulling me away from my thoughts. “Everyone got here safe. Everyone who I brought with me are gone and on their way some place safe. I’m staying here until I can find a new place to operate from.” She looks to the ground, angry. “I don’t know how they found me… I’ve been there years and no one has seen anything until now.”

The silence was uncomfortable as we walk to the medical room. It took a while as Baekhyun made me stop and take short rests. My throat was killing me, making my eyes water. Once we’re at the door, I go to open it, only to have Neon grab my hand.

“Yes,” I ask softly, trying not to aggravate my voice any further.

She smiles sadly, “Just… Xing is going to freak out when he sees you like this. So… be prepared for that.”

I open the door, and immediately, I see Minseok turn. His eyes are wide as he sees me, looking extremely upset. Next to him was Junmyeon, who was standing a bit to the side, dark circles under his eyes. Something tells me he hasn’t slept as he was trying to sort this all out.

I see the person on the bed lean up. Yixing’s eyes meet mine. He was pale, completely shirtless as he was sitting there, the blanket pulled over him. He had a black eye, and a small bruise on his chin, a few cuts and bruises on his  arms and chest but other than that, he looked fine. His eyes look lower, to my neck. His eyes wide in pain as he sees what happened to me. “Baobei,” He says in what I was guessing was Chinese, though I don’t know what it means. I walk forward, pushing everyone away as I get to him and hug him, reminding myself to keep away from his leg.

“You’re alright,” I mutter, tears falling down my face.  I hold him tightly, as if at any moment he’d turn into smoke and disappear. “I… I couldn’t let that happen. I had to do something.”

“Suho, Baekhyun, Neon,” Minseok says, his voice soft, “How about we go… work on a few things for a bit.”

I don’t hear what they speak about after. All I remember is the door softly shutting behind me. Yixing slides over in the bed, letting out a grunt of pain, pulling me up to sit on it with a hiss.

“Stop,” I say, wiping my tears, “You’ll hurt yourself.”

Yixing says nothing as he pulls my face to his, lips pressing against mine hard, like he’s scared to let me go too. I feel the cold sensation go through my body, though noticeably weaker than other times. “How can I care about that when you look like this,” He says, his expression and voice pained. “How can I give a damn about my being hurt when… Y/N, you…”

“I killed someone,” I finish, looking down at my hands. “It’s like I can still feel the blood on my hands. Hot and gross. But Yixing, I… I don’t regret it.”

“Y/N,” He says, looking at me. “You didn’t have to.”

“Yes I did,” I say loudly, my throat still hurting a bit, but it was much better than before. I pull away, looking him in the eyes. “He had a gun to you. He was going to kill you… and you know that he was.”

Yixing looks down, his hands barely touching mine. “There’s no point in lying,” his voice was sad. “I thought I was going to die...”

“Then you know that I had to kill him,” my voice breaking, cracking as I try to keep my feelings down. Tears fell from my eyes. “I hate killing. I thought I hated it more than anything.”

“Which is why you shouldn’t have had to,” He says, his hands taking mine, his eyes avoiding me.

“I love you more than I hate it,” I exclaim. I let go of his hands and make him look me in the eyes. “I already lost the person who mattered the most to me once. I can’t lose another, so don’t you dare try to convince me that I made the wrong choice!”

“I’m not telling you you made the wrong choice,” He says, looking up at me without my having to force him. “I just… I don’t want you to resent me after it.”

“Why would I resent you,” I question, shaking my head.

“For getting myself in the situation, for forcing you have to make that choice,” He says, his voice is hard and quiet, as if he was yelling at himself.

“Yixing,” I mutter, putting a hand on his shoulder, “No one can make my decisions for me but me. If our roles were switched, would you have done what I did?”

“In a heartbeat,” He answers, looking up at me. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you and I could have done something.”

“That feeling,” I say, before leaning my head down on his shoulder. “That feeling is mutual.”

I feel him wrap his arms around me, pulling me to him. His head resting against mine as he lightly kisses the side of it. “You were very brave,” he said, one of his hands touching my arm as I feel the cool sensation again.

“You’re too hurt to heal me,” I mutter, “You’ll be fine soon, and so will I. Save your energy and let your body heal yourself.”

“Are you saying that as my doctor or as my girlfriend,” He jokes, laughing lightly.

“Both. Save your energy.”

“I just can’t bare to see you like this, is all,” He mutters with a sign.

“Then keep your eyes closed, because the more you try to help me the longer it will take for you to heal,” I say, pulling away from him. “How did Baekhyun do, anyway?”

“Fine, after I convinced him to stop shaking. He was nervous. Nothing major was hit,” He answers my unasked question, knowing I was going to ask it at some point. “Between the thigh and my knees aching from landing on the floor like that, I’m apparently not allowed to walk until tomorrow at least.”

“That’s good, are the stitches straight are are they all jagged and too far apart? Can I see how he did?”

I see him smirk a bit to himself, a light blush on his face. “I’d show you, but I’d like the first time you see me completely naked to be not related to any sort of injury if I can help it, thanks.”

“You’re… oh…. OH,” I say, my voice becoming a pitch higher as I bury my face in his shoulder. My face turning a deep red as I hear him laugh at my embarrassment.

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed,” He says, wrapping his arms around me again. “Stop, your cheeks are going to set my shoulder on fire!”

“And you’re cuter when you’re not making fun of me,” I mutter, making him laugh again.

“Where’s the fun in that,” He says, giving me a small kiss on the forehead.

The door slams open, revealing Sehun and Minseok. Sehun looked at me, his eyes wide. He rushes over, pulling me away from Yixing before wrapping his arms around me, picking me up off the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok says, looking up at me sadly. “I tried to stop him, but the brat wouldn’t listen.”

Sehun sets me back down as I leave a hand on his shoulder, “Sehun-”

“No,” He says, looking at me, his eyes wet with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever thought you wouldn’t risk your life for one of us. I’m sorry we didn’t think of something to stop what happened. I’m sorry you had to do that and I’m sorry that you had to do something you hate.” He tries to regain control over his emotions, but he can’t seem to stop crying. “It almost happened again and I’m so glad you were here and were braver than the rest of us and actually did something while we all just stood there about to watch our brother die.”

“Sehun,” I muttered, rubbing his arm, crying to calm him down. “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not,” He yells, making me jump. His eyes widen as he looks back at me, “I just… I’m sorry.” He turns to walk away, escaping the grip I had on his arm.

“Sehun,” I yell as he bolts out the room. Minseok attempts to stop him, his glass of water spilling on one of his feet. I look back at Yixing, who simply nodded as I turn to go after him, trying to keep up. My legs kept shaking as he started getting further and further.

I feel the air grow colder as I see Sehun suddenly stop, his right foot completely frozen to the ground.

To my right I see Minseok holding up a hand, his eyes completely white. He lowers his hand, his eyes returning to normal as he nods at me.

“Thank you,” I say, moving to catch up with Sehun. I get there as he takes a knife, trying to pry his shoe out of the ice. “Sehun, just talk to me. What’s wrong.”

“I thought next time it happened I wouldn’t be a coward,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as throws the knife down, starting to unlace the shoe. “But I’m faced with the same situation and I do the same fucking thing!”

He yanks his foot free from the ice as I grab onto his arm. He yanks it away, sending me into the wall with the force. I yelp, my legs becoming even worse than before after colliding with the wall.

We stand there for a few moments. He was silent as tears feel from his eyes, his shoulders shaking. I stayed on the floor where I fell, waiting to see what he would do next. He tentatively takes a step to me, offering me his hand.

“Thank you,” I say as he puts an arm around me, helping me walk along with him. He opens a door to a room I’ve never been to, turning on the light and helping me onto a chair. The room was rather plain. A bed, a chair, a side table, a lamb and a plain black rug. However there were Polaroids covering every inch of one wall. Some had my mother, some had the whole group, but many of them are of him and just one or two other people. There was a picture of him with everyone. There were pictures of him and the people I didn’t get to meet, too. A thick layer of dust coating everything in this room.

“This is... was my room. I haven’t been in here in ages.” He paces a bit, not looking me in the eye. “Y/N,” He says, his voice cracking. “I… I’ve never told anyone this. But I have to tell someone or I’m going to explode.”

“It’s ok,” I mutter, wanting to comfort him. “I’ll listen. It’ll be ok.”

“No it won’t,” He says, looking back at me. His eyes full of pure sorrow and heartbreak. “Because I’m the reason that Kris, Tao and Luhan are dead.”

[moirathaurissan]

1 2 3 5 6

🕸 1. Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

sz crew as a whole are prob the oldest that i use the most so from that list its..... okay well zara n chrome were posted the same day on dA n zara was posted first but i think its chrome bc i was hesitant to do any drawing until someone told me to n i liked him so i kept at it so? >:/ (which is ironically what got me into drawing again in high school lmao)

⭐️ 2. Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

I CANT remember if it was:

this self insert character i used to play pretend with my friends n she could shapeshift n i will see if i can find a doodle of her but boy i fucking loved her? does hse count an oc? idk

This cat named Sneakers. okay so storytime when i was younger my mom had gotten these cute lil keys for valentines from the store n idk where the mix up happened but i thought i had the thumb up to give one to one of my daycare ppl n the next day she gave me this lil empty journal with a cat on it and i was like :0c im gonna use this to write a book on this cat. And anyways i sorta wrote n never finished this bad story abt like sneakers deciding he needs his independence and runs away from home n 8? year old me was liek DAMN this is gonna be a hit.

💡 3. Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

mmmmmm i dont think so? not that i can think of? its made me realize what a goof i am lmao but i mean other then that >:/c

🐲 5. Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

ghgghghgggggg IDK MAN they’re all good? i cant really pick tbh?? maybe monsters bc its such a vague term so theres more variety lmao :0c

🎨 6. When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

uhhhhh........... i guess written? a lot of the time its more being like ‘gee u know what i want a character liek x!! who is like x!!” and i have their base personality down in 3 seconds n im already branching out stuff abt them and then ill scribble out designs. i mean it depends? if i dont rlly plan anythign for em theyll be doodle first but ones i feel like ill care about will have a personality first before a design

[swearronchanel]

Am I making this a thing too often? Oh well, I HAVE THOUGHTS IM SORRY

Series 6 is finally here & the first episode was pretty intense so I’m watching it again & I guess just posting my thoughts that no one actually asked for 

- COLOR! Or COLOUR, either way new intro 

- Ok I actually really like this, time are changing #LetsGetIt1962 

- Shelagh and Angela omg, Tim shaving! Cute Turner Morning but now that I’ve seen this once, this could’ve been a chance to show Shelagh having morning sickness 

 - Sister MJ dancing is the cutest thing

 - welp here comes Sister Ursula ready to ruin everything. If she wants to “gyrate” let her wtf 

- Patsy fixing Delia’s hair is cute but let’s be real Patsy’s needs the fixing - Ugh again Sister U, go away

 - welcome home fam, it’s about to get real

 - I miss my bby Trixie but I’m not going to dwell on it because I know she’ll be back - like the minimal food isn’t even the worst of it, just get ready. *** ALSO, Sister Ursula is lowkey petty with that line “don’t sit down yet please, the mother house will be calling soon” She’s knows what’s about to go down and is enjoying it. 

 - Sister Julienne’s voice cracking, she looks so sad. My heart. Why would she be demoted?! I still don’t get it. 

 - * Awkward clapping *

 - So did Patrick not notice Shelagh was constantly sick and carrying around those rennies? 

 - “Biscuits are for fainters”, which is funny because she tells Mickey later on to go with her and find the biscuit tin. 

 - No Patrick we’re not having a raffle lol 

- “We’re taking a gamble is you ask me” Shelagh’s accent sounds so cute in an serious tone haha 

- Sister MJ’s little angry moment with the duster, I feel. 

- Can we see sister MJ with Angela please? - Why does Mickey need a patch for astigmatism? My brother has it in one eye and always just wore regular glasses. I feel the glasses struggle though, I love my frames but I hate wearing them. Okay off track whoops - 

 - I knew the husband(Lester) wasn’t to be trusted from the get. - - WHERE DID SHE TAKE THE DAMN TV? 

- aw Tom. 

 - That’s all lol. I don’t know why this ring story isn’t that appealing to me? kinda boring 

 - PATSY IN JEANS YES, HERE FOR THE NEW WARDROBES 

 - Also all the cocktails, I love it. Barbara was some “practice” haha. Patsy’s toast was cute  

 - That random guy telling Phyllis “give us all a thrill” and she cringed. That’s me  

- Lol @ Barbara’s Zsa Zsa Gabor reference but she just died so RIP - - I wanna knock Lester tf out 

- This is period drama indeed but sadly, this is not an issue of the past. - 

 - Everyone feels bad for Sister J 

 - “No I can’t prescribe, because I’m only 15!” 😂😂 I’m dead. - I wish he would get more screentime haha. I’m almost hoping he’ll feel weird about the new baby so he can have some kind of interesting storyline 

- Sister W’s face telling Tim “comb your hair”, why does she make the funniest faces - “Cape Town Tummy” lol if that’s what you wanna call it 

 - Thank the climate appropriate bri-nylon for Baby Turner - Can Patrick please make a joke about it? Like Fred can squeeze his wife’s ass, let Patrick at least have a good line 

 - “Is it both ends?” wtf sister W😂 why would you ask?

 - Shelagh’s so polite “the smallest room haha" 

 - IM LAUGHING BUT CRINGING AT SISTER WINIFRED’S FACE I LOVE IT - 

- Lol here’s freco Fred 

 - Why does it even matter if Barbara has a ring to show off Violet, we didn’t see yours lol - 

 - Oh no he’s taking Mickey right 

 - Shit yes he is, WHYY - this kid is so precious omg 

 - Why would he tell is son this 

 - THIS STRESSES ME OUT UGH I KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN

 - Coño this man pisses me off 

 - Mickey 😪 

- Damn it Peter why do you always have bad news - 

 - "Television kills the conversation” no you kill the conversation 

 - PHYLLIS’S REACTION IS GOLD

 - what are Patsy and Delia doing? 

 - YES LESTER YOU’RE A DISGUSTING COWARD, I WISH I COULD PERSONALLY HURT YOU 

 - my heart hurts but I’m also furious 

- lol babs with pottery is symbolism of me handling university

 - Why was this relevant though, that could’ve been another Shelagh scene 

- Yes Trudy with the knife. So strong. I’m here for her 

 - HOW DARE SISTER U QUESTION SISTER MC’S FAITH 

 - YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER 

- Trudy really walked her way over like that’s incredible, she just was hit so hard. 

 - YES SISTER JULIENNE 

 - I can’t wait till she storms out again bc that was empowering, forget that vow of obedience for a second 

 - I don’t even care the Sister U is nice to Mickey, it’s too late for redemption I know what you say later to Dr Turner and it cancels out  

- MUCAS EXTRACTOR 

 - Shelagh’s best at that  

 - Why was there no scene showing Mickey at the Turners !!? That would’ve been precious 

 - Phyllis 💔 I freaking love her. Especially her with Trudy at the end 

- “You contradicted my authority last night” YES TF SHE DID IM PROUD 

- YES SHE LEFT, NONNATUS IS STILL YOURS SISTER J 

 - SOMEONE GIF THAT JACKET PART  

 - Yes Trudy. She played this so well 

- I wish I cared more about Barbara and Tom

 - They’re cute but idk I just don’t care enough. The ring part at the end is cute because who cares about convention I’m here for that.  

 - Oh no this is the part right 

-  shoot yea it is. Sister Mary Cynthia 😪 

 - PATRICK SHOULDVE PUNCHED HIM 

- sister J not forcing her way in, I’m glad 

- Sister MJ 💔 my freaking heart is shattering 

 - Give Bryony an award for this 

 - Such a heartbreaking, accurate yet beautifully performed depiction of mental illness 

 - THE GROUP HUG, THIS IS WHERE THE TEARS STARTED  

 - AYE COÑO SISTER J AND SHELAGH 

- THIS IS WHERE I LOST IT THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT AFTER “IM SO AFRAID” - I’m going to insert a picture because I’m serious I was sobbing 

 - Shelagh’s skirt is so pretty 

- I’m here for her outfit, lets get it 1962 

- Okay let me press play and cry again  

 - Give Laura an award for everything - HER FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, HER ACTING, SHE’S SO AMAZING 

 - Ah damn I’m crying again 

- Sister J “I never stopped praying” omg💔 

- I’m so glad she told her first. 

- Why is Trudy’s mom a bitch? Wtf care about your daughter and grand kids? 

- SNARKY PHYLLIS

 - what’s this bs. 

- YOU DONT BLAME A VICTIM 

 - I HATE HER MOM 

- PHYLLIS BACK HER UP - 

 - Patrick is so empathetic and understanding because he legit was on the other side 

- “That means you can be healed" 

- YES YOU CAN BE HEALED 💕 

- If Patsy is in the next episode they should’ve just brought her problem with her dad for the next episode? Since this episode does seem jammed packed but it’s all good

 - PHYLLIS AGGRESSIVELY MAKING A COCKTAIL IS ME 

 - except I’m a poor university student so it’s no cocktail 

- Phyllis knows something’s up looking at Pats acting weird w/ Delia 

  - Patrick suggesting Northfield. That’s character growth 

 - GET SISTER U OUT OF HERE 

 - PHYLLIS HANGING UP THE PHONE TO SET PETER STRAIGHT REAL QUICK 

- Patsy and Delia having a cute moment. I think everyone wants a significant other like Delia? Like Patsy always shuts her out when something happens but Delia doesn’t leave

 - Does Patsy’s dad have Lou Gehrig’s disease or what’s it really called - oh ALS? 

- Here come the rest of the feels. Phyllis is amazing, Trudy is amazing. I just love this freaking show. Phyllis never judges and truly helps and I just need her to give me a hug and tell me it’ll be alright - I do like this part. Good for you Babs. Defy convention, it’s 1962. 

 - So much more diversity in the community centre I love it 💕 

- Can we get a Latino/Hispanic family story on here please Heidi

 - ANGELA IS SO CUTE AH 

- THEY’RE DRAWING YES 

- I’m so glad for Trudy 

 - THE PARALLEL 

 - "Patrick you gave me a note once..” *internally screaming* 

- I forgot Shelagh can draw 

 - “PLEASE WILL YOU BE MY DAD” AW MY HEARTTTT 

- but honestly though Patrick should’ve been freaking out with more excitement like it’s a legit miracle 

- MY BBYS ARE HAVING A BABY 

 - Doesn’t matter that was perfect for me, I love parallels it’s so cool 

 - PHYLLIS WAVING BYE AWW And Vanessa Redgrave’s outro And the end. Wow what an episode, ready for next week 

[schedios]

u kno what’s it

New Year’s Thingy 

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Went on a march (Women's March 2017)

Went to Aquarium of the Pacific, and then Monterey Bay Aquarium with friends and came home in one day (god)

Hosted a friend from out of town in my new place and went to Griffith Observatory, the Broad, and the Bradbury Building

Went to the Grand Canyon with friends

Worked a proper retail store

SAW HAMILTON

Got a proper job

Went to the Renaissance fair (holla at ya casey)

Went to CTNx

Saw John Mulaney

Went to the LA Zoo Lights

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

These are from last year:

Make more art (I definitely did) Try out more recipes (Lol nah but when jessie comes I probs will) Be more conscious about spending money (hooOEY) MAKE MORE ART DAMN (YEAH OKAY I DID) Be kind, gracious, calmer (I think I can check the first two HHH)

And for this year:

Make more original content! Use those OCs Practice drawing IRL Practice Spanish more!!!!!! Be calmer, kinder, and more patient Read more!! Manage time better >_>;;

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No

5. What countries did you visit?

None this year!

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

b e n e f i t s

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The first half of this year was hard

Going to the Grand Canyon... aside from the canyon part..

Seeing Hamilton!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a job?? Being able to pay for things all on my own honestly

9. What was your biggest failure?

I guess I could've made even more content than I did...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really...

11. What was the best thing you bought?

New clothes?? Fish balls. IKEA SHARK!!!!!

12. Where did most of your money go?

Aside from rent and clothes, that trip to the Grand Canyon and visiting home

13. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Visiting home in October! I didn't realize how much I needed to.

Learning that I'd be living with Jessie!!!!

Hamilton!

14. What song will always remind you of 2017?

My spotify called my out for listening to 06 by Sons of An Illustrious Father and the Fantastic Beasts soundtrack

Electric Guest's new album Plural

Night in the Woods' soundtrack got me through a lot

Lin-Manuel Miranda's Almost Like Praying

Florence and the Machine's Too Much Is Never Enough

Assassin's Creed Syndicate's soundtrack

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder? I'm happier. I am

Older or wiser? Both. My body has yelled at me, so maybe older >_>

Thinner or fatter? SOFTER

Richer or poorer? Uhhhh?

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Draw and animate always, learn more

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Get angry

18. How did you spend Christmas?

HOME!!!!!

19. What was your favorite TV program?

RWBY and Peaky Blinders

Does watching YouTubers count? Because there was a lot of Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Rooster Teeth content consumed

22. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Same.

23. What was the best book you read?

Uhhhhhhh >_>;;

I'm reading Mort and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

NITW, AC:S and the RWBY soundtracks haha

But also! Ordinary Songs 2 by Snail’s House

25. What did you want and get?

To go home during the middle of the year, a job, go to the Grand Canyon

26. What did you want and not get?

B E N E F I T S

27. What was your favorite film of this year?

Here’s what I’ve seen this year! Rogue One, Fantastic Beasts (Making a comic in 3 days for this taught me a lot), Koe no Katachi (read the manga bc Jessie suggested it, and I absolutely adore it), Arrival, COCO (!!!!!!!!!), The Shape of Water

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Stayed with family and got dinner. When I got home, one of my friends took me out to a beach north of us, then later we got a nice dinner at a tapas place downtown. Let's get a drink sometime.

29. What's one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

BEN *CLAP* E *CLAP* FITS *CLAPCLAPCLAP*

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Started picking up more monochrome! Lots of gray and white and black ha

31. What kept you sane?

My friends and my mom. Getting that retail job and getting my current job

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Lin-Manuel Miranda!!!!!

Jack, Mark, the RT crew :>

33. What issue stirred you the most?

HARVEY AND MARIA. Jesus christ. I spent my birthday with family, and I had my phone glued to my hand. I downloaded Twitter for the first time so I could get updates on what was happening with my hometown. "Good luck," our nation's leader said, to these cities as hurricanes battered them. Good fucking luck.

Net Neutrality???? JESUS??

34. Who did you miss?

My mom and my friends again. Jessie but I'll be with her soon. Jane ;0;. DaAe ;_______;

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Hmm

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

I will work to be better. Not I wish. I will.

You can work and have a plan but that doesn't stop things from swooping in and dashing that all away. It doesn't matter that you were prepared or not. That's just life and it sucks sometimes. But we keep going, we have to.