#damn tumblr stole that tag from me too!

[chemicalarospec]

I've come across this franchise of 2000s Chinese off-brand Power Rangers with like four different series and like. okay I know I won't actually watch more than a few episodes bc I never make time for TV shows. But. I'm watching it.

[lostinforestbound]

I actually wrote this fic back in January, before ever making a tumblr! I had the idea for a while and I wanted to get it out there even if no one would see it, and now it's at over 100 kudos! Never would I have ever thought the fic would be seen this much, and I'm grateful that people like it! This is also an exploration of Rolan's insecurity and guilt being part of Cal and Lia's lives. Enjoy the tumblr version!

Rolan/GN!Tav

Look Away for a Minute

Rolan is frustrated by how his mind constantly clings to the past. It refuses to move on, and he should be over it by now...right? OR A nightmare tortures Rolan in the night, but Tav is there to help him through it.

Word Count: 3k (AO3)

Relevant Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Nightmare sequence, Mentions of abuse, Mentions of vomiting, Rolan's POV

The crushing pressure of hands around Rolan's throat is too much, cutting off his airway so he couldn’t breathe, and so tight that it could snap his neck in any moment. His sharp nails desperately scrape at the wrists positioned there, trying to find a breath that will never come, his tail lashing out from under him. He wants to fight harder, kick until his bones crack, scream until his voice is gone, bite until his jaw locks and breaks his teeth, but an unrelenting fear paralyzes him in place.

He can’t see the face above him through unfocused eyes; it's cast in an unnatural shadow with cruel blue irises staring down at him. It's unblinking, watching him struggle with a lack of reaction as his throat goes dry as sand, the urge to cough rising in need.

Lorroakan.

Rolan rasps, his nails- his claws leaving angry red welts across Lorroakan's forearms. He didn’t know the answer. What was the gods damned answer? Was it something about divination runes? The creation of the Weave? Or was it the Spellplague in the Year of Blue Fire? N-No, no, it had to be about the Nightsong, the relic that he so aggressively sought after. He can still fix this! He can correct himself and apologize. He'll grovel if he has to, knock his own pride down a few pegs to be more convincing and pathetic, just as his mentor wants him to be. He can do better, he has to do better, for Cal and Lia. After what they've both been through for him, for this damn apprenticeship he wanted so badly, it is the least he can do for them. He will-

“What is this, hm?”

Another face appears above him, one he should be so familiar with but it faded so much over time. It's been so many years since he looked at her portrait, one that was gifted to him by Cal when he was welcomed into their little family; he couldn't bear to look at it again, not after her funeral. Her eyes are just as vicious as Lorroakan’s, but she is someone Rolan fears much more. It makes his blood run cold, body shaking as if he was dunked in the frozen waters of Neverwinter.

“You were the sweetest child, but I see who you are now: A manipulator, and a thief.”

Please, no-

“You stole my family, little one. You stole them away for me. Did you wait idly for me to die in order to take them for yourself?”

The moment he tries to tear his eyes away, a new set of hands forces his head still with a grip on his face, maintaining the eye contact. He chokes still, desperate tears filling his eyes as his struggle intensifies. The tiefling couldn't even give her the courtesy of pleading for mercy, or to apologize, he just wanted to run away; after all, he is a coward. One who couldn't even look at a portrait of the person he thought of as his own mother.

These hands have delicate fingers but are just as tight, enough to bruise his fragile jaw; when did he get so small? “Little Rolan, a greedy child. I gave you my home, I fed you warm meals, and I gave you a bed; was that not enough for you? A selfish boy you are! A pitiful thing. The one time I feed a stray, he comes back for more. He takes and takes and never stops. They don’t need you like you need them. They don’t even want you.“

He knows, he knows that uncomfortably well, but by the gods does he need them. He needs them so badly. If they were gone, he would have nothing else.

He feels himself grow limp as more unnerving words are whispered. Most of it he can’t even register anymore, but he knows one thing for sure.

“They would be better off without you burdening them.”

He wakes with a sharp gasp, sitting up with a disoriented mind with wide golden eyes. Instinctively, he digs his nails into his neck, but it takes him a long moment to realize that there is no hands there, no hands to choke him. He breathes in heavy to get air in his lungs, heart racing as he takes in the dark room around him. He’s in his bedroom. He’s not on the cold wood or even in his workspace inside the tower, where he used to be tutored. He’s alive. He's not suffocating. He’s not dying. He’s not dying. Everything is as it should be.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to breathe through his rising panic, but it's not working; every time he sucks air in, it's never enough. He either ends up coughing or barely breathing at all. Nothing and everything feels real at the same time, is he even in the room? The silence presses against his ears, making him feel so, so isolated in the worst way possible. Lorroakan is dead. He can’t hurt him anymore, so why does he still dream of him?

Why does he still dream of her?

“Rolan…” A sleepy voice mutters, before he feels steady arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into another body. He bristles momentarily, almost spiraling into panic once more until he realizes who it is that holds him.

It’s warm, and it’s secure.

It's Tav. It’s safe.

He lets out an exhausted, shaky sigh, leaning back into the hold. His skin glistens from the cold sweat he woke up to. When he lifts up his hands to try and hold theirs, he sees how much they shake; his fingers twitch uncontrollably, and he idly notices that there were small sparks of magic attempting to get conjured. The spell is unrecognizable with how unstable it looks, he can't tell which one it is. Mage Armor? Magic Missile? Thunderwave?-

He feels Tav leave gentle kisses on the back of his neck and across his shoulder blades, making his internal questions pause. “Are you alright?” They question softly, but they know the answer; they know him too well, but it seems they want to hear him say it anyways.

A deep breath echoes in the bedroom, and he squeezes his eyes shut once more as the energy fades from his hands. “No.”

“Do you wish to speak on it?”

“No.”

“For later then. Come here.” They murmur, pulling him to lay back down.

He relents, but he feels disgusting with all the sweat. Gods, why is he sweating so much, and why does he feel cold? The dream was over, it was done.

Tav did not seem to mind the fact he clings to them, turning and letting him hide his face in their neck. It was a little awkward with the horns, but they make it work with their chin resting on his head. He feels their hand start to scratch at his scalp, and the amount of relief that gives him is absolutely embarrassing. His tail curls around their leg to keep them close, and the comforting sensations almost make him want to cry. They peck the top of his head, nuzzling into his sweat damp hair.

He doesn’t deserve this. He really doesn’t.

He’s unsure how long they lay there, it was mostly him trying to calm his heart. He feels fingers gently trace the ridges on his skin, cautious in how they touch. They were sensitive, and the trailing warmth made him shiver. He knows they’re trying to distract him; It’s sweet of them, truly, but his depression grips his chest so deeply. Usually he can handle these on his own. He’s a confident man, and he knows he has Cal and Lia by his side. That they want to stay by his side. If they thought anything else, they wouldn't stay in this tower he took over after the death of his teacher.

But some days are like these, where he can barely move and thinks he deserves nothing after butting into a family that will never be his.

Tav shouldn’t have to deal with this, though they think otherwise, it seems. It isn’t the first time this happened, he's had night terrors that sent him in a panic so bad he vomited and he can't even remember what it was even about. It bewildered and embarrassed him, but Tav didn't even say anything about it, they only cleaned him and the mess up as if it was not a problem. It won’t be the last time this will occur, no matter how much he wants it to be. But that’s what Tav signed up for, happily. They wanted Rolan, with all of his flaws and night terrors.

They shift slightly, pulling Rolan's body on top of them so he can rest there, arms snaking around his waist. Holding him close, their grip was loose in case this wasn’t okay. But Rolan only lays limply against them, energy gone but unable to go back sleep.

He just sees eyes.

“-ght, Rolan?”

Oh, they’re calling him. He can’t force his tongue to work. It feels heavy in his mouth.

They push some hair away from his eyes before cupping his jaw. “My love,” He listens, but their voice is muffled when it tries to reach his ears, a constant ring blocking the sound. It’s so loud. So loud. So loud-

A part of him startles when they start rubbing at his ears. They’re particularly sensitive, they know this after nibbling on them at some point in an attempt to be playful, and it’s enough to make him whine at the touch.

“Rolan,” They murmur, kissing him right between the eyes. “Come back to me, lovely. You'll be okay; you're with me, yes?”

He wants to believe that, even just for a little bit.

He buries his face in their chest, wanting to lay there. To be held, to be comforted. Doesn’t he deserve that after all the bullshit he’s been through? After the torture, the pain, the loneliness?

No.

No he doesn’t, and the thought alone makes him want to drink until he's numb, just like at Last Light Inn, where he thought his siblings, his only family, were dead and gone. Or possibly being tortured at Moonrise Towers. He doesn't know which one was worse to think about, his imagination knowing no bounds in its creativity. What would they have done, if the True Souls decided to hurt them? Would they take their eyes and cut out their tongues like how they did with Asharak-

Before his mind could grow darker, thumbs continue stroking his pointy ears as Tav speaks, “What’s the difference between Transmutation and Evocation? I keep forgetting...” Tav quizzes, feigning innocence.

A foolish question, even a child could answer it…but it’s distracting.

“Transmutation will physically alter the form of an object, or fundamentally change something in its entirety. Evocation is damaging effects mostly used in combat, but will also be used to heal wounds, as you see with clerics.”

“And what is another school useful in combat?”

“Abjuration; it specializes in defense protocols but some spells can be useful in combat, like Counterspell.”

They hum at the response, pulling him up more to kiss his forehead, right between his devilish horns. “You’re so smart, Master Rolan.”

He lets out a stuttering breath. Gods, this night is awful. He feels awful, Tav shouldn't have to deal with this.

When they suddenly start to sit up, his already fragile heart dropped into his nauseated stomach. Did they get sick of him already? Are they going to leave? Will they-

“Let’s take a bath.”

This snaps him out of his raging thoughts, staring at their eyes. "It’s late,” He states after a long moment of contemplating.

“So? Who’s going to be knocking on our door telling us not to take a bath in our own home? It’s your tower,” They say, helping him sit up as well before smiling teasingly. “Let’s take a bath, I’m sure being all sweaty is grossing you out.”

He is reluctant, but doesn’t say no when they help him out of the bed. It felt as if his body refused to move. It’s tense and rigid, his tail curled around his own leg. He can't look at them, and he’s unsure if it’s out of shame or out of fear. Fear of what? Tav? No, no! That would be idiotic to fear them. They love him. He loves them. He loves them so much it hurts. If he could rip out his very soul and gift it to them, he would do so without a second thought.

Their hand holds his firmly, something to ground him into their reality, and they lead him towards their private bathing room, decorated in lovely tapestries with a variety of colors. Some have subtle designs and are more abstract, while others have vivid images of Tav's heroics of Baldur's Gate. It's a courtesy of some citizens that they were gifted, but he cannot tell yet if they even like them there or not; still, he hung them up high for display because...well, he is so proud of them, how could he not be? He certainly thinks some of them are tacky, and he voices that opinion often, and it always makes his love laugh. The sweet, delicate smell of lavender hits his senses after Tav fills their large basin with water, bubbles forming almost instantly.

He watches their movements, seeing them strip off their clothes and kicking them off the side before they approach him again. Their hands smooth over his forearms, and they peck his nose as they unlace his trousers, stripping him as well. He lets them, a feral instinct inside of him begging for the touch, begging for any form of love they’re willing to give. He wants all of it, and he’s selfish for it.

They lead him into the basin first, getting in themselves after he’s settled. They then gently turn him around so he could press his back against their chest. It would be easier to wash his hair this way.

Both of them exchange no words, they only bathe Rolan while they hum to themselves, as if this was normal. This isn’t normal. He doesn’t deserve to be pampered when he’s done absolutely nothing to earn it. But he’s also too weak to resist.

So he lets them run their fingers through his hair, their nails scratching his scalp and rubbing the soap in. He closes his eyes when requested, letting the warm wash over him. Even when his hair and body are clean from the cold sweat, Tav insists on massaging his shoulders, working out any knots he may have. Being the master of a tower is stressful, after all.

During this he zones out, the silence deafening him as his thoughts run rampant once more. He hears them speak to him but the phrases never form coherently. Flashes of the dream drag him down into a form of despair, boring into him like ice pick.

His eyes start to sting, but then his worst fear comes to life; he starts to weep. He’s cried very few times in his life, and even then, those few times they at least warranted tears. He was allowed to cry. But this? In front of Tav and over a gods damned dream?

It only gets worse, because the weeping turns into full blown sobs, body curling forward with his face almost touching the dirty water as he hugs himself tight. His body thinks it’s in danger, somehow, and he can’t pull himself together. Voices tell him he’s nothing and deserves nothing.

Tav soothes him, leaning over him and littering kisses across his shoulders. They say nothing, and he’s thankful for it. He can’t imagine trying to speak in this state, when he tries his words die on his tongue. It's as if like he’s choking all over again, and the urge to cough grows.

Eventually his sobs delude to into sniffles and barely silent whimpers. Tav still doesn’t speak, nuzzling into the soaked skin on the back of his neck. When he calms down, Tav helps him out of the basin after getting out themselves, drying him off and changing him into new night clothes, one that was clean and softer than the one he chose before. He felt pathetic not being able to change himself, but he had no will to do so.

“I’m sorry,” He hears himself croak out. “You should be sleeping.”

Gods, they shouldn't have to even deal with him. What he went through is only a fraction of what they've been through. They saved the entire Sword Coast, possibly the entire world from the Absolute, all while they had a damn tadpole in their heads threatening to turn them and their friends into illithids. Yet, they're doing so gods damn well in their lives, a greedy part of him thinking it's unfair. Why are they fine while he is not? How did they do it?

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You had a bad dream, it happens more often than you would think,” They say, tracing their lips against his cheek while he processes the implication of their statement. “We don’t have to talk about it now. Just know that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Though he lacks the energy for it, his mind wants to kiss them so deeply a never let go. He wants to drown in them, in their scent, in their body- damn it all, why is he so needy? He hates- no, he loathes how needy he is, how fucking desperate he gets. It's pathetic; he is so utterly pathetic. Pitiful. Miserable.

When they pull him back to their shared bed and lay down once more, they let him get as close as he wants, and he is thankful for it. It ends up with arms around them tight, him burying his face into their neck while his tail curls around their thigh. He wants to be close tonight, a silent plea for them to let him know everything is okay.

So they indulge his wish, playing with his hair all the while. He probably won’t sleep much tonight, but that’s okay by them, they always preach. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last, and they can and will live with that.

Healing is never linear, after all.

[cavydude]

Hey everyone guess what's back?

To celebrate the one-year anniversary of the remaster, we (the fine folks over at the Baten Kaitos fan Discord) are bringing back Spiriter Week! And now it's bigger than ever: we're going multi-platform!

So mark you calendars for September 15th-21st!!!

Wait, what's this now? Back in ye olde golden age of Tumblr, we used to have an annual thing we called Spiriter Week, a week-long celebration of our favorite card-game RPGs.

What do you mean, "multiplatform"? Due to fandom no longer being fully (or even mostly) within the confines of one website, we figured it'd be a good idea to have folks participate wherever they want to. Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, or wherever. Still have a Pillowfort? Go crazy there too.

Ok, how do I participate? It's super easy- just post something Baten Kaitos related every day. Could be a fic, art, videos, whatever. Wherever you're posting it, use the tag #Spiriter Week I am not blessed with creative prowess Neither am I we're all just bullshitting Doesn't have to be anything skillful like art or writing. Could be fan theories, a personal anecdote, ranking your favorite xyz or even a haiku. Like this example I stole borrowed from No's original post:

Holoholo bird All my apples are rotten Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

This sounds great but I'm super busy there's no way I can post every day. Again, same here friend. No worries, even just one or two during the week is fine. Let's face it, we've all aged a number of years since these were last a thing and life has a way of stockpiling responsibilities.

On what authority are you organizing this? Alright ya got me I'm just some rando with a Gibari pfp. But come on, why not have some fun and build some hype around these games we love?

That's a nice banner where'd you get it? Damn right! Credit goes to No, who still had the old banner and managed to change some digits :D

How can we follow for updates? Here on Tumblr, I (and of course anyone else who wants to say something on the topic) will be posting in the #Spiriter Week tag. Some major updates might also be posted in the baten kaitos tag but I don't wanna spam it too much.

But yeah, that should cover most of the major stuff, feel free to reach out with any questions!

[goldenrosesrp]

0 . 11 BRUISER

my life blew up in my face and is quite the disaster, but hey at least the doc is pretty. one i've used for my own character, this is a rather basic document template that is six pages long with tables, drawings and various fonts and graphics all made using google docs' funky features.

trying to change the layout of my tumblr too, but it's honestly more difficult to figure out than docs.

this template was inspired by 24H by Seventeen! + ) : document is in the source link! + ) : do not remove my credit! please + ) : please like, reblog, and hit the bell! it's very much appreciated. + ) : to use please enter the doc ( link included in source ) -> ғɪʟᴇ -> ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ   + ) : my discord is @ᴄᴀᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ#𝟿𝟻𝟿𝟺 but feel free to pm me on tumblr as i'm coming off a break from discord

two things: 1) to add to the doc thief conversation, someone stole my first ever template CALL ME YOURS and damn they took the name too literally. removed my credit, changed out only some of the images and threatened to report me on discord and here before blocking me and kicking me from their server. last time i checked, their tag was 【 𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒆 】#7497. i think they stopped using my template, but they blocked me and told everyone i had harassed and defamed them so how would i know. anyways, don't steal from people you care about.

Also, at least in my case, some innocent people were thrown under the bus, accused of stealing when in reality they were misled. don't do this to yourself or people you care about.

2) i said i'd do a giveaway soon, and then i fell off the earth, i'll do a giveaway when i hit 100 followers! so uh, keep your notifs on! thanks a bunch.

[totallybakedcake]

And back to JJK. Demon slayer? Unfinished anime and how I got into anime..

This is just pure dumb stuff, randomness, and even cringe stuff thrown here, so feel free to skip!

For starters, JJK was one of my first animes. I had been dying to watch it, but I could not watch it because my brother was against it. But eventually, I did watch every episode until the Shibuya arc, and after that, I stopped because there would be too much violence and all that.

This led to my biggest mistake: starting anime and watching spoilers

Spoilers

Naruto was actually my first anime, and I binge-watched so many episodes at once and cried so much. It was super fun, and I even watched so many fillers, but my brother eventually said that season 2 of the series has too much of a serious tone and did not let me. So, what did I do?

Spoil the whole damn anime for me

And then finally, I was going to watch. I watched about another 200 episodes, and then that was the end of my Naruto saga. I know what happens in the war: Boruto, Naruto marrying Hinata, and all the Akatsuki backstory, so I just gave up.

And the same happened with JJK. I saw way too many spoilers, and I still watch the later chapter spoilers too; even JJK ended with me.

I was just going to start the manga from the Shibuya arc yesterday, but then I started Demon Slayer, which I also know the ending of.

The reason I am so into Windbreaker, Kaiju No. 8, Sakamoto Days, Spyx Family, the Millionaire Detective, Buddy Daddies, and even Gakuen Babysitters is because I did watch any spoilers for them.

-----------------------

The reason I even got into Quotev, or my first app where I read fanfiction,.

I had an obsession with Yuta from JJK, now that I think about it. I cannot help it; he is just too good, but writing fics about him is kind of awkward to me because of Rika.

It was from my grandmother's phone that I read my first anime fanfiction, It's Pure Love by Whale Crumpet. If you want a good Yuta fic, I would totally say to try this one out, but the author hasn't updated it since 2022, and I feel my heart breaking. Even though they said they would return to quotev, they never did.

The Yuta fic I loved the most was Cupid's Cursed Arrow by Strawberry Belle. Damn,  did I fall hard for this fic. I would tell everyone in my house that Cupid's arrow was updated as I read it; it would give me giggles each time. That fic also hasn't been updated for 5 months.

Honestly I am not a sucker for crossover manga. It has to be super specific to my liking but Euphoria by Sceretstarlight was just too cute. Made me fall harder. Even the author of that fic on quotev is like the real life version of Mitsuri. I love her a lot♥️♥️

It was then a random day where I suddenly got an idea to write a Yuta fic, and I wrote it, rewrote it again, and the rewritten one has ten chapters in my notebooks, which I still have for the memories. I did read it a while ago, and it was terrible, but I had no freaking experience, so what can I do for that?

If anyone does want to read and give me some opinions on that chapter 1, I did upload it in my random ideas thrown here as a quote. You can read that here.

The only original story I have made is Lost in Dreams, which is again on quotev.

----------------------

And for Tumblr, I clicked on the website once and was reading what I thought was a Yuta period cramp comfort, but it required me to sign up and all, so after a while, I did do that, but that fic was a Yuta vampire smut fic, and I ended up not liking it.

I just read fics, I have no idea how to make my own blog, about tags, dashboard, you could follow people and even like there works.

One thing I do know is I had a Sung jinwoo fic reading obsession like I loved reading about him okay. The first Jinwoo fic that stole my heart was by @catboyfics. Hunter is a series and it was the first Jinwoo fic I read and was so so in love with. It was my first non JJK fic I read and it felt different than the others if you know what I mean. I didn't understand how to save or like a fic on tumblr so I lost it and I was super devastated truly I was super duper upset and sad that I spent what 2 hours searching the Jinwoo tag on tumblr and when I did not find it I could have even started crying BUT I found it again and I saved the upload in my folder where I can easily read it and also followed catboyfics. I hope they are alright because they haven't been/ updated their blog in 2 months.. I also have no memory on how I got to know about tumblr but now it is my most used website..

------------------------

That is the current problem with JJK fics, imo; the tags and stories are just almost pure shit. I am not saying bad to the writers; they have fun and they do what they want to do, but seriously, we need more JJK fluff, comfort, taking care of female readers, and overprotective fics. I just stated what I like, but whatever.

I have so much to write, but will I write that? No

Will I write dumb, stupid, and nonsenseful things? YEAH

I feel so stupid writing this but whatever let me rant/write random things for compensation for this horrible day

[vintagelacerosette]

Tag game Tuesday/picrew catch up!

Oh how I've missed doing these! Thank you so much to these sweetpeas who tagged me to do these tag games/picrew. Lyle @milkovetti Michelle @michellemisfit Bri @y0itsbri Evie @energievie Julia @juliakayyy Georgia @iansw0rld Kat @mybrainismelted Nosho @creepkinginc Cross @crossmydna Willow @ian-galagher Lyds @ardent-fox Vey @look-i-love-u Molly @deathclassic Jay @surviving-maybe 💕

💟Name: Myn/Shermyn

#️⃣Age: 27

🗺️Location: Sydney

🧥Do you own a robe? Describe it. Yeah a pink silky with lace trim one my older sister gifted me as my maid of honour gift 🥰

☕️Do you have a favorite mug? Describe it. Why yes! It's one of my prized possessions! My Gallacrafts mug I made art with the darling & talented Ling @lingy910y

🧣Do you have a favorite blanket? Describe it. You know I don't think I do & that's tragic 😔

🍵Coffee or Tea? Tea

↳🔥🧊Hot or Cold? Cold it's been so damn humid & dry in Sydney rn 😓

🧦Fuzzy socks or Wool socks? Wool

🧤Gloves or Mittens? Gloves but the fingerless kind so I can scroll/read fics on my phone lol

🔥Fireplace or Campfire? Fireplace

🌞🌜Sun or Moon? Both baby! They work in tandem to give us life ☀️🌙

🍬Chocolate candy or Sugar candy? Sugar 🍭

🥐Sweet Pastry or Savory Pastry? Sweet

🎃Peppermint or Pumpkin Spice? Peppermint. I haven't had pumpkin spice before

🛏️Go to bed early or Wake up early? Wake up early but i don't sleep early to make the happen 🥲

🥣Cold cereal in milk or Hot oatmeal? Cold cereal in milk I especially love the sweet ones. American cereal certainly hit the spot with their cinnamon toast crunch or lucky charms 🤤

🍞Potatoes or Bread? 🥔

And Finally…

🚬 Gallagher or Milkovich? It'll have to be MIlkovich even tho objectively the are more terrible ones than good. But to be fair the great stole my fucking heart 💖

Picrew

Which character from any media would you like to have as a father? 

I think Johnny Rose from Schitt's Creek would be a funny dad plus loaded 🤣

If money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?

I'd love an otter omfg they're so damn cute 😭

What is your Chinese takeout order? 

Sweet & sour pork & spinch noodle with wild mushrooms.

What's your favorite emoji?

🥹 I'm particularly fond of this one bc it's the marvelling of beauty for me

Would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?

I think greenhouse. I think would be so soothing & I feel like I need more plants in my life hahaha

What childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?

Cardcaptor Sakura 🌸

What was your tumblr like when you first joined?

I joined 2012 it was so aesthetic & I wished be one of those vintage aesthetic blogs hence my tumblr name lmao. I kinda got confused & scared how to use it so i stopped for 2 years. So i missed out all the fun drama i guess lol. Then I started using it as like a scrapbook of things I liked hahah

What clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?

50s but I feel that would be such an effort to pull off

If you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?

Pokemon but like in the switch games. I've been playing too much instead of sleeping lmao

What is your favourite piece of art? 

Idk if I have a favourite but one that impacted me in high school was a piece called 'Atomic: full of love, full of wonder' by Nike Savvas. Funny thing is that I got to see it in person may 2 or 3 years after seeing it in a high school text book & having to do essays on it. It was by complete accident & I had no idea see was displaying her work in our national art gallery. It was magic to see a piece irl after studying it 🥰

Do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?

My bestie jusr got me this steel pink hello kitty tumblr that was a collab with a bubble tea shop! I love it I take it to work 💖

What fanfic trope is a quiet fave?

I think time travel with younger selves meeting their older selve & seeing how they fot their happy ending 🥰

Do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?

Yeah a carry bag for work. It's this tote bag another bestie got me for my last birthday. It's really cute. It's pink & mint green with a cluster of cute things like teddy bear.

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?

Respectfully no ❤️

What is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?

I'd say mafia au especially bc of the amazing fic by Kay/Shamelessquestions, The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?

He sure could! He's our swol lil man

Look at them guns!!

Who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?

I kind have this tie between Fiona getting it or it being passed to Liam & Franny to keep the legacy going

Not tagging any bc I'm late but if you see this & you want to go ahead starlight 🩷

[rjalker]

February 12th 2023: don't donate until this part is removed! someone stole my fucking wallet.

I'm making this my pinned post because I am tired of suffering.

Here's the link to my actual About post. Read it if you're going to follow me, it has my DNI as well as tags I use for things so you can blacklist them if you want/need to.

====

Hi I'm fucking too disabled to work but have to get a fucking lawyer to get fucking disability SSI from the stupid fucking government because it's literally designed to make people give up before they get their gods damned money.

I literally don't even eat even a single meal each day.

I'm also trans and would like to fucking medically transition someday but at this point I've just fucking give up that hope because I will literally never be able to afford it unless capitalism gets smashed tomorrow. in which case none of this matters, but that's not going to happen because that's not how revolution works so fucking anyways

also we're out of ibuprophen and I have fucking menstrual cramps right and yeah I should probably get fucking tested for endomitroiosis or whatever the fuck it's called but you know what else I don't have? Health insurance. Because I'm too disabled to work, and even if I could work literlaly no one will give me a full time job that wouldn't literaly just end up killing me.

====

Here's the gofundme link.

My paypal, venmo, and cashapp are all "Rjalker".

Here's the link to my redbubble store if you'd rather buy something.

You can also tip me through tumblr.

====

I have the Redbubble prices set so that when you buy a product I actually get a decent cut instead of $2 max. If you buy a pin, for example, I get $9.

My paypal icon is the same flower design as my tumblr icon. I don't think cashapp and venmo have icons but if they do I'll make sure they're the same too.

Check out and request more pronoun pins on my sideblog @custom-pronoun-pins

This post is being made November 30th 2022 but unless they suddenly invent No Longer Disabled pills it's just not going to have a fucking "this is no longer relevant" date because this shit isn't going to get better.

Here's what your money will be going towards if you donate:

rent, $500 a month for my half

phone bill, $35 a month

water bill, around $35 a month

internet bill , $45 a month

cat food, cat litter, and vet visits

groceries

clothes

fixing the washer or just buying a new one

fixing the dryer or just buying a new one

all the fantasy and scifi books I'm going to write that I will literally be giving away for free because if it's not clear enough yet I fucking hate capitalism. You will be able to download the books for free endlessly and the only time you'll have to pay money is for the cost of the materials to make the physical book.

we literally have not had a functional washer or dryer for the last like five fucking years in a row. All our clothes have to be washed in the fucking tub and then hung up in front of a fan to dry, or put in the fucking pop-up air dryer we found that takes for fucking ever and can't hold more than a few things before it stops working almost entirely.

I'm making this my pinned post because I'm tired of suffering. I'll fucking put the other one back when capitalism ends or I get the fucking disability SSI I literally would have been getting from birth except for the fucking idiot in the government who decided to fucking remove us from the fucking disability list when we turned eighteen when they took us off the fucking survivor's benefits of our fucking dad dying.

No I am not fucking joking. My twin and I were literally born four months early. We were literally guaranteed disability SSI from the moment we were born because of all the shit that went wrong and the fact that both of us were blatantly fucking autistic and had dyslexia and all this other shit.

And some fucking government worker fucked up when we turned eighteen and not only took us off the fucking survivor's benefits SSI, which overrode the disability SSI, but also fucking took us off the list for the disabled SSI.

Literally assigned abled at eighteen.

And I still haven't even fucking been diagnosed with anything for my physical disability because again! No health insurance! Because I can't work! Because I'm disabled! And since I can't work I can't get my disability diagnosed! Which means I can't get accommodations! It's literally a fucking endless cycle that will only stop if I or capitalism die!!!

======

Update 12/11/22: The water bill for November has been paid! Thank you!

[lettherebemonsters]

char𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

== BASICS

NAME :Dom/ Spooky

PRONOUNS : I’m a girl

ZODIAC SIGN : Pisces for the western calendar, Monkey for the Eastern calendar (I’m a damn sea monkey wtf)

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single :D

== THREE FACTS

I had a clown puppet hanging in the corner of my wall as a kid for well over ten years. That little blue jester scared the piss outta because he watched me in my sleep. Now I love clowns and killer clowns. :D

I haven’t played video games since college. So well over 5-6 years. And honestly I don’t miss it too much. FPS was always better IMO than multiplayer.

I’m Sicilian-American and Roman Catholic. Both of these are extremely important parts of my culture and upbringing and I have VERY little patience with anyone who talks shit about it to my face. So just be careful who you decide to mouth off to.....

== EXPERIENCE

PLATFORMS USED : Deviant, Youtube, Facebook.......now it’s strictly Tumblr that I RP. Facebook messenger I use for my friends and recently I got Whatsapp for family.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES :Definitely prefer plotting stuff. Memes are a great start though if you prefer going that way. I’m definitely not good at just winging it lol.

== MUSE PREFERENCE

GENDER : I tend to prefer writing males but I have written females too. It’s just most of my favorite fictional characters are guys. :/

MULTI OR SINGLE : Multi. I just add a new muse when I get the vibe but at he downside of everyone and their mom asking me to play a character I lost all my interest in playing.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S) :Probably from people who passed away? Though if it’s like from an old movie I can live with it to a degree (like using Colin Clive or Elvis as FCs.)

== FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT

FLUFF: Fluff makes me feel soft and cuddly. XD Definitely something I like doing when I’m in a funk.

ANGST: My favorite of them all lol. I LOVE making everything so angsty and literally all my muses are angsty.

SMUT: I’ve been threatened on Tumblr over writing smut and that’s why I only really write NSFW or talk about it outright with people I trust. Because there are children on this website who are literal little shits that should be grounded.

tagged by: Stole it from @themiserablesmiilingkiller :3

tagging: @disasters-of-dbd, @forestherm1t, @khalaesi, @technicianbunny, @iblewthewhistle, @soulsbetrayed, @mcnomaniametus, @greeneyedfaunus, @superrstardaycare, @adoranoia, @wiredupclown, @unknownxloomis, @rpdbdge, @ask-twins, @dcwnthercbbithcle, @feralreason, @cfgcdsandmcnsters, @wrongarmofthelaw, @apocalypta-secundus, @queenxfchaos, @silvcrignis, @manufactoredxafterxdark, @kingoftheravens, @facinorousfigures, @numquamvincar, @outbreaksurvived, @prettyxlittlexwitch, @jigsawfcrged, @radioactivedadbod, @infinityprincess, @sleepy-quentin, @charmbag, @itscreame, @entitytcken, @funtimes-n-faz-kids, @the-blackened-dove, @fxundingfxther, @muutos, @chrchgrl, @kostenkill, @blot-squisher, @bianfu, @funbonded, @sinners-inc, @trapton, @squidmanalamort, @swineblood, @idolkills, @michaelaftonvariations, @mechanicaldance, @profanecenser, @pumpkinstabs, @ask-the-boogeyman (and whoever wants to do this!)

[strobbylemonade]

explaining why this is poor design: new on left (light mode) and old on right (dark mode)

having tag thumbnails is quite ineffective when all tags have the same thumbnail

i don't know about other people but i personally prefer not to search by tag? i usually search by keyword because it gives me more varied content in my search. strange choice to prioritise tagging but lmk what other people think

"217 recent... 63K..." yeah this is sooo optimised for different browser sizes

when have follower counts for tags ever been important information that we need to know while navigating to a tag? on the website where "follower counts don't matter"??? this is useless information; i used to primarily use instagram, it was also useless there and mainly used to double check i didn't misspell anything.

the leading and vertical margins/padding are bad; not only makes the title and subtitles feel disconnected, but also makes it harder for your brain to distinguish between sections.

making everything larger makes it more cramped, and again, removes the spatial distinction between where one entry ends and the next one begins

props for making stuff more distinguishable for colourblind users and also easier to read from further away though. although uh some other website has done it better and... well... we'll get to that later

before we do, i had a search of what other people thought and stole this screenshot from @helpimstuckinafandom (ryuji image to stop the screenie from taking up too much space)

this is somehow WORSE - it's so cramped on the left side with so much empty space on the right, making it feel bloated and empty at the same time, the text in the different sections don't line up (they didn't used to either, i know), the enlarging of the icons reduces the negative space that was already lacking with my update, and somehow the bolded text of the search suggestions makes it feel even emptier compared to the cramped "tags" area. the good thing? less unnecessary information, like no tag follower counts, and no icons for recent searches.

alright. moving on, i sure do wonder where they got this idea for larger and bolder font choices from OH WAIT (roland image to stop it from being so damn large)

oh wait this actually looks pretty good though. so why does twitter's layout work? same reason why tumblr's old one was, frankly, pretty ugly but worked:

SPACING VS CLUTTER

there's no images for the tags / searches because there doesn't need to be! there's no information about follower counts because again, it's not important! notice their width is almost the same as tumblr's, but it still feels better because the content is smaller and the spacing appropriately allows your brain to digest things into smaller chunks.

it's also completely legible and comfortable to read no matter your browser size!!!!!!!!!!!! which tumblr fails to do! even when display names reach their character limits (see: PearlescentMoon) it's still completely legible and not confusing.

ok so if twitter's so good why do i hate it looking more like twitter? simple: brand identity. tumblr removing the stuff that makes it look like tumblr, is in fact, bad. having thick weighted, rounded fonts is not inherently bad. it's what twitter looks like, it's what apple looks like - they have a certain brand identity of legibility, professionalism, and cleanliness that they need to uphold. which is great. microsoft is straight edges and geometric shapes - utilitarian, functional, professional.

what i'm trying to say is this: if you want to keep branding tumblr as the stupid clown funny gay people ancient hellsite, then revel in the aesthetic. in the blatant html-ness of it all, it's unique, you can't get it anywhere else (you can but not on a site as popular). YES make it more accessible, YES make it more welcoming and easy to pick up and use for new users. you don't have to strip it of it's individuality to do so.

i was going to end it here but right before i hit post, i realised tumblr has a tumblr-looking, well spaced, organised and aesthetically pleasing suggestion-based navigation system already - right under the search bar. anyways. that's all. goodbye

[birdegilbinlercesineasigim]

In order not to use Tumblr only friends tag as whatsapp, here are my thoughts;

-Seconds into watching and I see TopMew? I. could.not.care.less

-You are changing for someone else, but not for yourself top? Yeah I dont see why this would be a problem in the future.

-Could Mew be more shrewd that I give him credit for? Perhaps.

I seriously wanna entartain the idea of Boston's heart melting for someone, but I dont think this show is striving towards that, any other show I would be like yea thats exactly what is gonna happen, but I feel like that would be too easy for this show.

How have I not realized before that boston is seriously ripped? Cuntiest of cunts have body definition. Nice.

Nick, my sweet summer child, can you stop being a slut for boston? can you please?

If I was a good guy you wouldnt like me? God damn it, he might be right Nick, for fucks sake!

So someone records you and you are upset, but when you do it, it doesnt count? Stone houses bitch.

We know NickBoston is gonna end in catastrophe, but god damn if they dont have chemistry.

I stole your ex but fuck it lets be friends. Are you for real Top?

Sand, my absolute favourite, my love, you know there are better methods than to smash your phone if you want people to not reach you right? You could just, I dont know, destroy your sim card and get a new one? Just a thought.

Nick what the fuck my dude? Like seriously? You are not a coupplleeeeeeeee!

Sand my love, I have never doubted you, I knew you had a plan about that phone. (I totally doubted and judged you).

sand baby did you delete the audio? Or you sent somewhere and Nick clocked it immeadiately?

Okay Im confusion. What is the reason for Sand to send audio to Mew? What is his gain? He hates Top and wants him to lose his boyfriend? Okay seems legit. But doing so could potentially send Mew to Ray's way? He has feelings for Ray right? So why would he want that? What is he gonna gain from stirring the pot?

Okay is sand manipulating the shit out of ray or is it me because I see everyone as manipulators in this show?

Campaign poster? You make that using paint or some shit? That is terrible :D

Nick for fucks sake just once can you just stand your ground

I dont hate Mew at all. Yeah bitch I truely believe you, you dont hate anyone, you just want to see the world burn. I appreacite that about you. Even though I wanna punch you all the time.

Okay Ray but like Boston did not lie now did he? You hope they would break up eventually :D

can you please get over yourself Mew? Your Hollier than thou attitude is giving me a headache

I cannot watch ray self destruct. Like I can not. This is physically painfull.

So Ray just took a page from Gossip Girls book and decided to air out everyone's business? I'll be damned. I- I cant.

I am literally covering the screen just reading subtitles. Y'all Im not made for this amount of stressssss

Did just Ray say to Sand to basically be his whore? Or was I tripping?

No I was not tripping, he literally called him a whore. Im at a loss for words honestly. I guess Im finally realizing there are no happy endings in this show.

April might be the only sane character in this show.

Nick come onnnn!!!!! Snuggling with Boston? Did you really think he would be okay with that

Ummm what? Wait? Iam confusion. He knows about the audio? The whole fight was a lie? Why would it be a lie? Im sooooo confused.

Trying to gaslight while he is shouting at you Top? Real mature guy you are.

I dont even know what is happening in the next week's episode, what the actual fuck?

I wonder if Mew is gonna self destruct or destroy everyone?

[elshells]

Rating OC Headcanons

So I wasn't tagged in this one but it looked like fun so what the hell!

Rules: use this headcanon generator to generate some headcanons for your OCs! How accurate are they?

Not sure who has and hasn't done this yet, so if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!! <3

Anyway, you know 'em, you love 'em; I'm gonna do this with all the guys from Agent Ace.

SOPHIA

"Sophia has a maid dress under her bed." 0/10 she absolutely does not

"Sophia enjoys doing her taxes." 6/10 I think she would unironically enjoy doing taxes, it's like a breath of calm compared to her high-intensity job.

"Sophia cringes at her middle school yearbook photos." 4/10 who doesn't?? But I have a feeling that she would actually look back on those reminders of her early years with fondness, not embarrassment.

JANUS

"Janus is a sleepwalker." 5/10 not canon but I can see it.

"Janus does not know how to read." Pffft, giving this a 9/10 because this was almost canon XD. For context, English is Janus' first spoken language but not his first written language, and so for a hot minute I considered making him completely English-illiterate, but decided against it for the sake of plot convenience.

"Janus is unemployed." 10/10 ...I mean, he technically is?

HARLEY

"Harley is Tumblr famous." 8/10 you can't tell me she wouldn't have the coolest blog ever! I would love to be mutuals with her.

"Harley is bisexual." 10/10 YOU KNOW IT, BESTIE

"Harley stole a lollipop at the checkout when she was 5 and she still feels guilty about it." Awww, 10/10! This is totally in character for her, and I'm making this a canon memory immediately. Okay, it's done, and there are no backsies. You're welcome!

JADE

"Jade has punched a hole in her wall." 3/10 I can't picture this happening, but if it did it would have been an accident and not out of anger. Maybe she bumped into her easel and knocked it over?

"Jade gets into Twitter discourse." 10/10 at first glance she looks too sweet to be confrontational, but she is a firm advocate in what she believes in and wouldn't hesitate to fire shots at bigots online.

"Jade believes in ghosts and insists on trying to summon one at every sleepover." 8/10 when she was younger, absolutely!! Even as an adult, she's 100% a paranormal girlie.

MAX

"Max has an intense fear of spiders." 7/10 I wouldn't call it a fear, necessarily, but they do make him uncomfortable. He's less likely to handle one than Harley and/or Jade.

"Max could easily survive the Hunger Games." 5/10 he's definitely an underdog, but he is smart and not to be underestimated. I think he could do it!

"Max has an incredible spice tolerance." 10/10 he's well equipped to handle spice. Him, Harley, and Jade all come from backgrounds with spicy cuisine, so I like to imagine that they would often share food (i.e. compete to see who would take the heat better XD)

AUGUST

"August has fallen asleep at his desk in the middle of the night." 10/10 multiple times, without a shadow of a doubt.

"August got hit by a bus." 8/10 let's be honest, out of everyone on this list it would be him. Poor August can never catch a break :')

"August uses the word 'fuck' like a comma." 2/10 August is a pure boi who tries not to swear beyond the occasional 'damn,' but I think it has the potential to slip out whenever he's under extreme distress or pressure.

AHREN

"Ahren has been canceled on Twitter." 1/10 WHAT DID HE DO?!

"Ahren likes to eat straight coffee beans." 6/10 yeah, he probably would. He and Sophia are both coffee people (although Sophia is more of a tequila aficionado), and it feels entirely plausible to me that he would snack on the beans, too.

"Ahren needs a nightlight to sleep." 7/10 definitely as a little kid, but it's not necessary anymore. He still likes it, tho.

BELLONA

"Bellona is not allowed to drink energy drinks." 10/10 for her health and the safety of others, she's been strongly discouraged XD

"Bellona sleeps in until noon." 9/10 vigilantism practically made her nocturnal.

"Bellona forgets to eat sometimes." 8/10 Bellona has the appetite of snake (once a week, and that's only kind of an exaggeration). Again, the stresses of criminal life are partly to blame for such an unhealthy lifestyle; she's gotten very good at ignoring her own needs over matters she deem more urgent.

[kavaeroexe]

hello do you write smut? asking for incubus obi wan 😩

ahaha my first time writing smut, but I know how it works soooo <3

warning: typos, bad grammar, bad plot as well, 18+ content!!!!, fem reader

his likings.

attention! please do not try to repost my works, I only post my works on Tumblr, if anyone see someone stole my works please inform me through the comments, tag me in the works, or message me!  

.

.

“Okay, so you are a general there? interesting, and if you are asking about the blood for the pentagram is that it’s from a goat’s blood, I killed it myself, damn I hate that but for the blood, I must say it’s good, Whaddaya think?”

“this one human sure talks a lot huh”

“General Kenobi, are you listening?”

“Why yes, of course, I could say your blood for the pentagram is not bad, anything else you want to ask, little human?” he answered, looking at you while smiling 

“I still have a lot, but maybe we could take a break” you replied, holding a cup of tea that you made before the interview session started, you sipped it for a bit and then sigh.

“You know, I was a bit surprised to see you just laying on my couch the moment I came home, plus you don’t wear absolutely anything, now you need to wear my brother’s old clothes, even though a bit tight...” you look at Obi from his head to his leg, well you must say

he’s kinda... sexy? but you let it pass, every single incubus and succubus has a well amazing body, to seduce of course.

“I can read your thought little one”

you choke on your tea, and then you hummed. shoot, you forgot they can do that, “Sorry I’ll try to be careful with my silly thought next time” you apologize, try to forget your previous stupid mind and focus on enjoying your tea

“Well, too late to erase your naughty thought little one” You look at him who’s smirking and then you hummed again

“Well, you have a good proportion of body, I mean who will not have the same thought with me?” you swing your hands and poke his chest before you try to sit again on where you sat before, but he immediately stops you by kissing your lips passionately.

“What-!? don’t touch your lips there or I’ll- mphh!!” you try to resist but there’s no use, he’s got you now, now look at you being held by him, as you try to push his face away.

“you talk too much, I suppose in this way you’ll become quiet, perfect to my liking” he spoke, holding your face, looking at you breathing harshly, gasping for air, and doesn’t dare to look at him, how cute.

“Why don’t we continue our asking session like this hm? wouldn’t it be fun?”

he runs his hand through your shirt, touching your stomach, and playfully runs his hand to your chest, smirking along the way he runs his hand. even if you don’t want to be in a position like this, he already locked you down, so you could behave instead, since there is no use for fighting right now

“May I ask some questions for you as well? it will be a pleasant moment to know more about you” while his other hand pins both of your hands to the couch, you could still move your face away from him, letting out strangled noises while trying to let go of his hands.

“Look at me, look at me, don’t be scared like that, I don’t bite~,” he says to reassure you, placing his lips right to your jaw and then moving to your neck. “But you can fuck” you shortly replied right before you let out a shocked lil moan after he kisses you on the neck.

“Oh yes, that’s what I do darling”

.

.

.

“Well? speak again love, tell me more about you, don’t be shy, just speak.”

he passionately continues kissing your neck, biting, and licking it, while his hand fingers your pussy

“I- I take my college after that and then i- Fuck-! fuck.. I can’t talk like this.. please...”

you squirm around as he hit you in the right spot, but it didn’t last long since the moment he kept you stay still because it looks cute for you to move around right where he touches the perfect spot, but he needs you to stay still.

“What do you mean you can’t talk? I don’t even shut that pretty lips of yours right now” he replied with a whisper voice but loud enough for you to hear, and as he spoke, he held your body even tighter from behind, not wanting you to move, just want to hear your voice.

“See? It’s not even close for me to touching your lips like this, stop sputtering nonsense darling” but when he said that, the more he touches you that makes you can’t talk like he asks you to.

“I can’t... answering if you keep touching me like this...”

he went silent for a bit, and then he hummed, “Well, not so good reason if you shy to talk, plus you‘re being so aggressive all the time, not so good attitude, princess.”

the moment he lets you go and he gets up, you immediately catch your breath and then close your trembling legs together, lean against the couch with a heavy breath, you could relax for a while, but not so long until you start to think where did he go

just to find him standing in front of you

.

.

.

“Obi- Obi! don’t touch there.. don’t touch the- ahh~!! fuck- fuck- Obi..”

now your feet are off the ground, your shaking hands try to reach his arms that are holding your tiny body, your tiny body that is surprisingly able to take him so well, so good, just for him.

“Obi.. too much- It’s too much.. Mnhh-!! no no no no~..”

if you’re focused enough, you’ll be able to see his cock bulging so big at your stomach, that you could feel his cock twitching every time he moved it in and out (damn I’m screaming while typing this )

“Well look at you, I know you love that, sooner or late you’ll be able to do more than this, just for me ‘kay? taking me so well like this, I’ll let that bad words coming out from your mouth pass this time”

he places a mark on your shoulder while he pounced on your hole once again before he cums a lot on you.

“Don’t waste what I gave you, don’t be like last time darling, take every single drop of it, nu-uh take it, take it~”

The moment you impressed him, he brush your messy hair and place a kiss on your forehead, and he lets you take a few breath.

"Hm.. You think i'm done with you? " The moment he said fhat, you immediately look at him in shock and exhausted face

"We are done.. Right? "

"Well if you's think like that, you're absolutely wrong darling, many things we should try until next morning understand? "

[luna-redamancy]

Day 28: Lovely

Sniffling, you couldn’t help but steal one more glance at the mirror. A form of self-torture, you realized, as a fresh wave of sadness began to pour over your shoulders.

Nothing fit right, and while you knew you were an odd size for dwarf standards, you didn’t think it would look this bad. The fabric bunched near your underarms and was stretched tight over your chest and stomach.

“Did you find anything?” Dwalin called from the other side of the dressing room. He had taken you to this shop in hopes to buy you a new outfit, due to your expressed love of dwarvish culture and dwarvish fashion for the past few months.

“No,” You muttered softly, already practically ripping the garments off your form to fold them before putting your clothes back on.

As you pushed open the curtain, Dwalin was already making his way inside the dressing room, pushing the curtain back into place.

“What’s wrong?” His gruff voice was soft as you stood in the center of the dressing room, he now sitting on the plush stool before you.

“Is it the colors, the fabric?” Dwalin genuinely needed to know what was causing you so much distress, and while usually, he wouldn’t speak like this, he knew you wouldn’t speak about it unless he brought it up.

“No, it’s not that,” You fiddled with the tunic’s buttons.

Now Dwalin was acting like the Dwalin you know, silent, almost brooding as he waited for you to continue.

“Nothing…” You sighed through your nose, looking at the ceiling as you fought the tears threatening to form in your eyes. “Nothing fits me right, and I knew it wasn’t going to but I still had hope-”

“What?”

“It’s either incredibly too large like I put on a sheet for a shirt, or it’s too small so it looks like I stole it from a child,” You huffed, “I just wish something fit me properly, that my body wasn’t so-”

“Enough,” Dwalin’s simple word made you startled, looking at him with a confused expression as he shook his head and stood up to be eye-to-eye with you.

“Your body is perfect how it is,” He firmly pronounced every word as he cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear that began to spill down from your waterline.

“But-”

“But nothing,” He glared before his features softened. “I know it is frustrating, Uzfakuh,” Dwalin’s tone was sincere as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“But please do not damn your body because the shop is inadequate with their sizing.” His tone was nearly begging, the thought of you despising your form that he found to be so magnificent and perfect beyond any measure being something that he could not fathom.

“You are perfect, atamanel,” The terms of endearment made your heart flutter as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “And don’t let any offensive fabric make you feel like any less.”

“You are lovely, amrâlimê.”

Tags:

Dwalin-

@frequentlychangingfandoms

Forever tag: Please note that if your tag is in Bold, Tumblr won’t let me tag you!

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[troubatrain]

runaway (part two) - n. patrick

a/n: shoutout to tumblr being down and not having work because i somehow cranked out both of these parts in one day. i’ve settled on this series being a small series of smut that sort of just follows a storyline and i’m really excited about it. anyways i’m tagging @hookingminor​ for reading this while i wrote it and gassing me up and @princessphilly​ & @texanstarslove​ because it’s whore hours here

warnings - smut this is all literally smut

part one - part three

It was St. Patrick’s day in Boston, and Nolan was hoping that a second round of luck was on its way. Nolan hadn’t seen much of you since you left to go home a few days after that night. You were living in his head rent fucking free, and it was unfair. It was unfair that he got to see every thirst trap you posted on Instagram, but he’d be damned if he thought about liking it. It was unfair that you were definitely Kevin’s favorite sibling and he talked about you all time. It was unfair he had to watch Kevin make out with some chick while he couldn’t do anything about you across the bar. And it was beyond cruel that you were shaking your ass with your roommates in a too big Celtics jersey and Nolan couldn’t do anything to ward off the dudes who had their eyes on you. His grip on his beer tightened, knuckles white and anger coursing through his veins while you rejected the like fifth guy that night.

“Hey dude, keep an eye on her okay?” Kevin asks, snapping Nolan out of his thoughts while he got ready to head out with his friend in tow. The Flyers had played a hard fought afternoon game against the Bruins, and with a day off promised the next day Nolan was sure it was going to be a late night, “I’m serious Patty, she’s two tequila shots with TK away from a mess.”

“I think I can handle your sister,” Nolan scoffs, eager to get Kevin the fuck out of that bar so he could talk to you for more than five minutes. He watched Kevin leave, turning his attention to you and smiling when he saw you laughing with your friends.

“Boston in Boston? It’s like seeing you in your natural habitat,” Nolan jokes, a hand landing on your lower back. You laugh, throwing your head and wrapping your arms around Nolan’s waist. You looked around, your brother was nowhere to be seen and you thought the coast was clear, “He’s gone.”

“Do I want to know?” You ask, scrunching up your nose knowing damn well why your brother left early. Nolan shook his head, sparing you the details and smirking at you, “And what about you Patty? Chasing a girl out of here too?”

“Unless it��s you,” Nolan husks in your ear, his deep voice sent shivers down your spine, a calloused finger slipping over the basketball jersey you stole from one of your brothers, “We had so much fun last time.”

You did have fun. You were sad and Nolan was making you feel infinitely better. Now some time has passed, the wounds on your heart healing and single life was good. Nolan’s eyes were staring into yours, holding your gaze while you decided what to do. On one hand, one time was one thing but twice was another. How long could you fuck around with Nolan before Kevin caught on? Probably a while given your brother wasn’t always the brightest, but he’d figure it out eventually.

“Take me home Nolan,” You breathe, sliding out of your phone and ordering the quickest Uber you could to your place. Nolan was grinning, hands wrapped around your waist when you were finally free from the eyes of his teammates.

Your apartment was the complete opposite of Kevin’s. Nolan’s eyes scanned over the art prints and pictures of your family that decorated the walls, his eyes scanning the titles that lined up against your record player. Maybe you had more in common than Nolan thought. He’d overthink it later, because your lips were on his neck and your fingers were toying with his zipper and if he didn’t find a release soon he’d lose it. You were the best he’s had, Nolan spent countless nights alone using that night to get himself off. You got him off. You were irresistible, and it was going to get Nolan in trouble.

Your fingers unhooked Nolan’s jeans, pulling the zipper and going down with it. Nolan groans, tilting your chin up to look at him, his finger ran across your lip. You took it into your mouth, Nolan’s eyes practically rolling to the back of his head, “You’re trouble.”

“Haven’t you heard, I’ve never done anything wrong in my life?” You muse, pulling Nolan’s boxers down, springing his cock free. Nolan had heard all about it, Kevin’s perfect baby sister, who was smarter than anyone he knew and had a heart of gold. You were perfect but it was more about how good your mouth looked when you took his cock into your mouth and less about what your brother thought. Your fingers were tracing his thigh tattoos, your mouth popping off his dick and your attention on those, “I like these.”

“Me too, but if you could maybe,” Nolan whines, an actual plea to get your mouth back where he needed it most. His hands were in your hair, and if he didn’t think you’d smack the shit out of him he would’ve moved your head himself.

“Like this?” You press a kiss to the tip of his dick, letting your mouth hover just above it. You bat your eyelashes, watching the way Nolan’s face was getting redder the more you egged him now. You lick the underside of his cock, tracing a vein as slowly as you could, “Or like this?”

“If you don’t start being a good girl I’m not going to let you cum,” Nolan growls, his voice deep and raspy, a chill running up your spine. You rub your thighs together, Nolan’s voice was fucking delicious. You take him into your mouth, bobbing your head while Nolan hit the back of your throat, “Fuck, can I-”

You nod, feeling Nolan’s dick twitch in your mouth and his cum hit the back of your throat, he let out a groan. You swallow as much as you could, finally take your mouth off Nolan’s cock and let the rest spill down your chin. Nolan slides his thumb across your jaw, picking up his cum and pushing it into your mouth, groaning when you happily obliged, “Do I get to cum now?”

Nolan chuckles, lacing his fingers with yours and letting you drag him into your bedroom. You tossed the jersey, sliding off your jeans and leaving yourself in the matching black lace set you were grateful you chose to wear, “Look at you.”

“You’re so fucking sexy.”

“All of this for me?”

“I’m going to ruin you.”

Nolan’s words were pressed against your skin while he took his time with you, running his hands all over your body. His hands grip your thighs, turning you around, “Get on your knees for me.”

You nod, biting your lip when you could feel Nolan’s breath fanning your pussy, his finger slips under your panties, sliding them down pressing kisses to your ass, “Nolan enough teasing.”

You were whining, whimpering when Nolan’s hand came in contact with your ass, his tongue was flat against your pussy, teasing even more, “I said good girl.”

A finger slid inside you, and you let out a moan that was embarrassingly loud, Nolan’s name slipping from your lips while you begged for more. You needed to get off, so worked up past the point of no return. Nolan slid in a second finger, curling his fingers inside you and pressing a kiss dangerously close to your asshole, “You can Nols.”

You were his dream girl, that’s it, you were Nolan Patrick’s dream girl and he couldn’t have you. He groans against your skin, his tongue rimming your hole and pushing his fingers inside your pussy faster. You were soaked, clenching around Nolan’s fingers and letting out a scream. You fish out a condom from your nightstand, tossing it to Nolan and muttering something under your breath, “What was that Boston?”

“Want you inside me,” You breathe you, shaking your ass in front of Nolan because you wanted him so badly. Nolan’s eyes went darker, rolling on the condom and slipping inside of you. He gave just a second to adjust before his hands were on your hips and he was pushing you into your mattress, “Fuck, I missed your cock.”

“Yeah?” Nolan muses, his pace steady while you fall apart underneath him, “I’m only the person who makes you feel like this huh?”

“Yes, fuck, Nolan I’m going to cum again,” You pussy tightened around Nolan’s cock, pulling his second high out of him and into the condom.

You finally fell onto the bed, fucked into oblivion. The grip you had on your sheets was released, Nolan admiring you below him. Slow breaths escaped your lips, your eyes closing and opening from how tired you were, “We’re never going to be able to stop doing this are we?”

“I think we’re going to have to do this a few more times,” You agree, poking one eye open while Nolan tossed you a t-shirt from your dresser, “I’ll be back in Philly soon.”

“Really?” Nolan smiles, kissing your head while he got himself dressed. He didn’t want to leave, another time where he wanted to hold you and press his lips against all the spots he marked on you, but getting caught wasn’t an option.

“I have a Grad School interview at UPenn,” You muse, sliding on the t-shirt and tucking yourself into bed, “It’s not a big deal-”

“Sounds like a pretty big deal,” Nolan disagrees, hoping he could steal you for a night away from your brother. He took one more look at you, biting his lip and thinking about just saying fuck it and staying but he knew he just couldn’t, “See you then Boston.”

Nolan heard one protest about how you hated that nickname, laughing to himself and throwing on the hoodie he thought was his. It was dark, and before Nolan could catch his mistake he was sporting a Boston College hoodie while he left your place - hoping there wasn’t a chance he’d run into Kevin. He made it to his hotel room without seeing anyone, a throat clearing when he finally got into his room. Travis’s voice echoed through the room.

“Is that Kevin’s? What is he dressing you now?”

[writing-in-april]

Tiny Vessels

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer is done trying to lie to himself about his true feelings in his relationship, but not done lying to Reader.

A/N: IM BACK!!! So as y’all know I got really sick towards the end of my 30 fics in 30 days event- I’m still going to release the last few fics I missed (and we’re all just gonna pretend it’s still April 😂) this one was requested by @zhuzhubii it’s actually my second song fic and is based on the song tiny vessels. I’m actually super proud of this one and I’m happy to get back into the swing of things with writing 🥰 Also my 1500 follower celebration will likely wait until I finish up the backlog of fics so I don’t overwhelm myself! Feel free to leave me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Toxic relationship, Lying about feelings and intentions, Brief illusions to sex, Using someone only for their body

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.3k

The moment I knew, had been a long time coming. It had been just after post coital bliss had faded around me, reality creeping in on the sides as it tried to take hold of me. It had been trying to tell me something, something I had denied for so long. No amount of tossing and turning would banish the slowly creeping in thoughts that attempted to plague my mind. If I had turned and tossed anymore, my partner right beside me would ask what was wrong, and I knew I couldn’t answer it. At least I couldn’t answer it honestly without tearing down what we had built up for ourselves. I never had much that I say I built myself, and even though the foundation was about to cave in, I wouldn’t take the sledgehammer to it myself.

I remember when I told them the first time I told them ‘I love you’. It had been an almost identical situation to where we were now. Two people, naked underneath the sheets, so close physically yet so far emotionally, though I covered that up with my honeyed words of promise.

I always wanted to believe the words I spoke to them, the promises I gave them. Each time I choked out the words, dripping in sentiment and sap I tricked them, and myself into believing them.

Unlike my counterpart I couldn’t fully escape into ignorant bliss. They didn’t know, but I knew deep down everytime I burst open their door after coming home from a rough case. We moved through the dark almost every time, as it was the only time I was available, and it hid my pained expressions pretty well.

All the friends I was telling about our relationship were even convinced too, though I could see a sneaking suspicion crop up in Emily’s eyes every once and a while when I mentioned them. I didn’t tell them the reality, the one that I avoided myself.

It was all for the flesh, nothing of substance lurked underneath, at least for me. Every bite I gave them left a mark, tiny vessels able to be seen creeping up on their skin even in the dark. I claimed them even if I didn’t let them be mine; they could never claim me. They had said they didn’t want those marks to fade, but they inevitably did, showing how hollow my words had been before I nipped at their skin. Once I realized how they faded, how non committed the marks were on their skin, I faded too. I still indulged in the pleasures they freely wanted to give me, but I let my words remain hollow, accepting their meaning without admitting it out loud.

And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.

Their beauty was unparalleled, it always had been to me. Time and realization had not changed that thought in my mind, though I had lied to myself about the depth of those thoughts. Every brushed touch against their body sent me into a blaze, though it took too long for me to admit that that was the only thing about them I thought about at night.

Their giggle did not make my chest feel light, and our conversations that edged on deep discussions only stimulated my mind because I forced it. Their moans and the softness of their skin were what made me call them at the dead of night, masking it by saying ‘I missed you’. I would then inevitably pivot away from talking about our feelings so I could hear their moans through the speaker of my old phone I only kept around for work, and to call them.

All I see are dark grey clouds now, ruining whatever utopia I had crafted in my mind once I had come to conclude what my real feelings were. If I was honest with myself, it had been lingering at the back of my mind for months now. By now the lie was too hard to escape, and their body felt too good underneath me to let go.

It was vile, and it was cheap of me to trick them for so long into believing that the words whispered into their skin in the dead of night held any true emotion. A kiss on their bare shoulder with a soft rasp of how much they meant to me. Kisses that had been given along the slopes of their pretty face with little whispers of ‘I love you’ in between before I had met their lips with mine.

Another kiss, the last one placed on their forehead given to them after I had promised to bring them the world. And they were all vile, and cheap lies.

Yeah, you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

My thoughts swirled as I continued to stare at them, boring holes into their skin just from my gaze. Guilt nipped at my heels each time another harsh reality tried to slap me across the face, trying to get me to stop trapping them in something I already knew was hollow at its core. Denial was easy when no one else was calling me out for it; something in me almost wanted them to say it, to leave so I would be able to stop living this pathetic lie.

At some point they had sensed my eyes on their body, then looking over at me. Their lips turned downward into a frown, probably after successfully reading the expression on my face. Normally whenever I fixed my gaze on them it was out of admiration, unfortunately if I was going to be honest with myself, it was never because of what lies beneath. I couldn’t force myself to look any deeper than their body.

Too bad being a profiler hadn’t given me the ability to be a good liar, and I wondered if they had figured out long ago that my promises intermingled with kisses were a thinly veiled lie. Maybe they were lying to themselves still.

In the distance, my guilt moved closer every hour.

It would soon swallow me up whole, consuming me when they asked a simple question, “Is something wrong?”

My breath got caught up tight in my chest, my shame welling up so high up it stole my voice for a moment. In the moment that passed, they cocked their head to the side in question innocently. It was almost as if they were mocking the feelings eating at me, showing me how much I was missing by not developing true feelings for them. Damn, right there’s something wrong, but I won’t speak it out loud to let you know.

I felt disgusted with myself, and all I could wonder is if they felt the same way as I did. Wondering did nothing to ease the guilt inside, even as I tried to justify what I was doing.

It would be easier in some regards to come clean about what I was doing, to face the guilt head on. I was a creature of habit however, and hiding in the corners of my mind was one of the things I did best.

So, no we won’t talk about it, because I wouldn’t tell them. I leaned forward to kiss them on the lips, another promise to never let them go that was filled with nothing but lies. The kiss seemed to banish any worry that they still held in the crease of their forehead, their head was now cocked to the side to slant their lips across mine instead.

It was our last kiss of the night, before they went back to their own apartment tonight. My hands roamed up their sides, mapping out every dip and curve with my fingers. It was what I really cherished about them, even if it did make me sick on the inside. Though, I didn’t feel sick enough to say anything more, and I let them go, both of us pretending that it was something more. And, the only reason we were allowed to pretend was because I would not divulge the true reason I gave them those tiny vessels on their neck.

Ask Me Anything

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[rangikuxmatsumoto]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: Courtney

PRONOUNS: she/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Probably Discord but I don’t mind Tumblr IMs, I usually have tumblr open throughout the day, or I’ll get the notification on my phone.

NAME OF MUSE(S): Rangiku Matsumoto | Loly Aivirrne | ∂αкι | I’m only listening the active ones cause there be others...

RP EXPERIENCE / HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): I started roleplaying in Yahoo Chat Rooms, god just dated myself in like 2003. Moved to Forum, MySpace and all the incarnations of Rp.me and the like, joined Tumblr with Rangiku in August of 2012. So I’ve been around the block once or twice.

BEST EXPERIENCE: I’ve had a few. One of my best friends I met via roleplay on MySpace years back is still like my best friend, he was actually my Man of Honor in my wedding. And now I’d say all the plotting, screaming, shipping with Red @madaramee.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS: WE 👏 DON’T 👏 DISREGARD 👏 CANON 👏 IN 👏 THIS 👏 HOUSE. Basically, I have a problem when someone else’s character disregards my character’s canon - because for me to roleplay with you I have to write a version of my character that I didn’t create, that I had no input in. This also goes for Crossovers/AU’s, some canon doesn’t blend well, or there’s little things here or there but that can be overlooked or discussed but when it goes extreme, I don’t like it. 

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: Yes. FUCK YES. GOD FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Depends on the thread. If it’s fluff, I prefer shorter replies but if it’s angst or smut it’s gonna be a god damn novel.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Weekdays, excluding holidays, from like 8 to 6. Literally when I’m working. Weekends are for doing things.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Yes. I mean, I’ve grown up with Rangiku as my main muse for most of my life. I feel like I’ve morphed a bit into her, her better qualities at least. The other ones are all brats, Rangiku is also a brat too but whatever. The answer is yes.

TAGGED BY: Stole it. TAGGING: Snag it if you feel like it